Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 107 - Mike Thomas

Episode Date: March 30, 2010

Comedian Mike Thomas joins us to talk about animal saints and Joe DiMaggio (not the baseball player, the literary device), then we make a big announcement with Jesse Thorn, then we do some overheards. Happy? Happy.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to Stop Podcasting Yourself episode number 107. My name is Graham Clark and joining me as always is a man who is best enjoyed in 3D, Mr. Dave Shumka. Thank you. I'm what... What are those?

Avatars? What are those? Avatars? No, like when you were in school and they were telling you to describe a character, they gave them, they could be dynamic or static. Oh, right. Okay. Yeah.

And there was another two classifications. Protagonist? Antagonist? One was whether they had depth to them. Oh. Oh, round and flat. No, that's the answer. Round and flat, everybody.

And joining us today is a person who all at once can be round and flat, a comedian, a show producer, would you say? You're a show producer. Yes, I help produce the show. There you go. And all-around swell guy, Mr. Mike Thomas. Hello, everybody in Internetland. Thank you for listening to me, I guess.

Internetland is a theme park sponsored by Yahoo. Let's get to know us. Get to know us. So, Mike Thomas. Let's get to know you. Let's get to know you. Let's get to know you. For sure. Yeah.

Let's put it back to layers. What do we know about Mike Thomas? Here's what I know. Okay. Interesting voice. Lovely, fun, rich voice. Kind of a southern brogue. I don't know if to describe it as that. I don't know if to describe it as that, but yes, I seem to be cult famous, maybe, for my voice.

People impersonate my voice. Oh, you're right, right, right. It's very impersonal. It's interesting. It's a little surreal for me. There are a few. People walking up to me, talking in my voice to me. People, like just people you know? Within stand-up comedy comedy which is what i do

oh yes yes um but there are a few comedians in town who get that i've never had that i don't think i've been impersonated maybe not to my face maybe it's a mean impersonation i do a mean one of you that do it do it it right now. I just did it. That was me doing it. Yeah, I've had people impersonate my voice. It never does. The ones that people do of you, do you think they sound like you? Or are you like, nah, you're way out? Sometimes.

For example, Patrick Malia. Does everybody know who listens to this show? Oh, millions. Okay. No, people won't know who Patrick Malia. Does everybody know who listens to this show? Millions. No, people won't know who Patrick Malia is. There are certain comedians who sound like me. I tend to like the ones who will focus on something

odd within my voice, like maybe the cadence or something like that. Or just take it out there. But everyone who does seems to be really nice. almost over-apologetic. Like they're scared I'm going to get sad that they pretended to sound like me. So it's never, hey, I'm Mike Thomas. Watch me pick my nose.

Yeah. Nothing being... I smell like butts. Yeah. Not yet. Which would be kind of neat as like a 38-year-old man hanging out with other grown men who are acting like elementary school kids to me. I'm Super Mario. I would enjoy that, yeah.

Look at me. I'm Mike Thomas. I'm a big dumb head, right? Like it would be fun. It would be all right. your clothing and also from your Facebook profile. You're a Hartford Whalers fan, because I know you have

other items of clothing that are Hartford Whalers based. I do have Hartford Whalers. What's the... Hartford Whalers are a defunct hockey team who used to wear long pants. Amongst other teams? Yeah, one other. The Philadelphia Flyers. The one other team, yeah.

It was a good luck. It didn't last long. For whatever reason, I don't know. I have a couple thoughts on that. It's probably really uncomfortable to play in that kind of outfit, no? I don't know. In long pants? As opposed to socks held up with garters underneath padded shorts? Don't knock it to the track.

What is your connection to Hartford? None whatsoever. Okay. Okay. I'm sorry. I kind of like the certain players within the team. Okay. And the fact that Gordie Howe played with his kids.

Right, right. That was weird. That was weird. Hartford did trade a lot with Vancouver. Did they? Yeah, Brian Burke worked there. Both in hockey and in pelts. Yes.

Sure. Whale oil. Whale blubber for West Coast things like smoked salmon. Sure. And reefer. Yes. That's short for refrigeration units. That stopped during the Ronald Reagan years

Really? Trading reefer with Hartford? Yeah So You said on your way here today This is how I picture The Mike Thomas kind of life Being is you're just on your

way to your friend's house and then somehow you ended up helping your friend's brother move yes that to me that's what i picture your everyday life is just kind of this odd collision of circumstances like this is another random experience where i'm in front of a microphone drinking free beer and then i'll go on to something else yeah like you'll go and solve a mystery i imagine yeah run for office or something well i do have an oversized magnifying glass so that would help me what's an appropriate size for a magnifying glass well the ones just for reading i would think like the smaller ones who uses those anymore? Nobody uses any of them. Except for... Well... But you have one. But I bought one. What? When I had no money for it, probably.

I thought you were going to finish that sentence by, when I had no money for glasses. Just a cheap fix, yes. I needed reading glasses, so for $15 I got a magnifying glass. That would be great. For $30 you could have two and just hold one up over each eye. At the time I bought it, and I still do, I have a young child. So maybe that makes more sense. It seemed like a fun thing to do.

How young is your young child? She is 10 now. Wow. So what's it like having a 10-year-old? She was about 8 at the time. Good. She's a good kid. She's having her birthday party today.

I wasn't invited. That's okay, though. This is bumming me out. Well, this is how that movie Falling Down starts. No, well, it was a kids-only party, right? No adults. She planted herself.

Wait, no adults? Yeah. It's going to be a lot of spin in the bottle. I mean... At 10, yeah. Sexually active 10-year-olds. Okay, so it was her idea not to have adults. Yes.

Okay. And as we are recording this, there are children outside my window playing. Yeah, that's because Dave invited them to our no-kid party. Sorry, guys. So a 10-year-old, what, likes Hannah Montana, a Wizards of Waverly Place?

Yes, pretty much anything on the Family Channel. I just have to put my television on Channel 51 and I'm done. Parenting complete. Print off the certificate and then go and drink free beer

and talk into a microphone. You do a lot of podcasts. Yeah, I try. You make the rounds. Is being a parent freaky? Or is it scary? Is it ongoing scary that you're going to fuck things up or the kid's going to get in trouble? The only thing that was genuinely scary was when I was married.

My oldest daughter is my biological daughter so with my youngest that was the first time i've been around a newborn yeah and just like a brand new baby that scared me having to hold a child that's that fragile and breakable but they're really bendy right like a little kid yeah but they've got like newborns necks though are the scariest like they have they can't hold up their own head and so i was forever scared I'd whiplash the baby and break her neck. Because you were practicing your snaps? Spinning a lot. Spinning her around, holding her by the legs.

I actually took her head out on a fan almost once. What? Well, I was checking to see. I wasn't thinking. We just moved to a new place and I had a fan overhead in the master bedroom and I was checking to see

if she you know had an accident and I lifted her up into the last second I caught myself I don't think it's an accident when you're incapable

of going to the bathroom almost well whatever you call it she took a baby shit I guess and I almost yeah caught her head in the fence. That would be the worst.

I think about two months after that happened, I told my wife at the time. No, you shouldn't have ever done that. Yeah, but I waited a long time. When you said you almost took it out on a fan, I thought you meant as a comedian. You brought the baby on stage and you got heckled and you almost beat a fan with your baby's head. That would have been exciting. I've never had... Both my kids have seen me do shows and my youngest, she wrote a joke.

And she was going to perform it when she was eight. But then she changed her mind and it just felt weird that I couldn't force her to perform it when she was eight, but then she changed her mind. What was the joke? It just felt weird that I couldn't force her to do it at eight. She was saying, I remember when I was in the womb. I don't know if you can remember this, but you can actually see through your mom's belly button. And the first thing I remember seeing is my dad's fist coming towards me. What?

So pretty dark. Your 8-year-old wrote that? My 8-year-old wrote that, yeah. I thought it was funny. Dark sounded like something that not only I would write as an adult, but then it's like, why would you write such a twisted joke for her?

I didn't do it, right? Like it was her. Your kid wrote that joke on her own. She wrote that joke. That's amazing. She bailed on it, though. She didn't want to perform it. No follow through.

Yeah. Twisted. I mean, true, but... Oh, come on. No, not. You wouldn't hurt a fly. No, I... You're Mike Thomas.

You're a lover of all people and things. Yeah. Those fists are made for loving. Yeah, for pounding dough. Like St. Francis of Assisi, only nicer. Yeah. I'm not familiar with St. Francis of Assisi. He was into animals.

He's the patron saint of animals, isn't that right? Yeah, yeah. So like all kind of veterinary hospitals that would have a religious bent have his picture. I go to the event of Christ the Scientist. I don't allow my dog to get blood transfusions. Speaking of

Christ and science, there's a show on the History Channel where they're going to make a computer-based model based on the shroud of turin to give an actual what jesus's face would look like i hope he has white features huh i've seen it already he's a middle eastern dude oh no no no but he's got blue eyes blonde hair yeah and he's got rippled ass nordic beard yeah how long before um do you think

before like north american christianity moves more towards like a norris god norris yeah like you say like a big blonde beard and odin yeah yeah oh yeah uh loki yeah the trickster the trickster. The trickster, yeah. That would be fun if we worship those gods. Like Wednesday would be easy transition. That's Odin's day. Oh yeah. Thursday as well. We're halfway there practically. And then TGI Friday, baby.

So what do you mean if Thursday is an Odin's day? Does that mean you just get the day off? I went to Sweden a couple years ago, and they do not worship Thor or Odin. That's kind of shocking. You would think that they would still... They still believe in Valhalla, though, right? Oh, of course.

That's where you go when you die. Science has proven it. When you die a warrior's death, you go to Valhalla. In Greece, they still worship Zeus. No, they don't. No, they don't. That's the predominant religion there? Yeah, Zeusian.

Oh, Herculean, I thought. They get a Zeusian blur. They go by the Zeusian calendar. Yeah. It's all thunderbolts. And all of their heels are Achilles. I don't know. I can't wait to watch this thing on the History Channel.

It's going to be... Oh, about Jesus' face? Jesus' face. You can't read my Jesus' face. J-J-J-Jesus face. Stop it. Let's get to know me. Why not? What's going on?

We have an announcement. We'll make it later. Dave and I are pregnant. Congratulations. Thank you. That's not the announcement, but congratulations are in order. Yeah.

For our pregnancy. He's going to do four and a half months, then I'm going to do four and a half months. And then if it goes over, we just trade on a weekly basis. Not much went on with me this week. I went and saw Shutter Island. Shut your mouth. But I'm talking about Shutter Island. Well, I can dig it.

That's from the theme song of Shutter Island. Or so I've been led to believe. Oh, by Isaac Hayes. The movie Shutter Island with Leo Leonard of Capri. It's also got Kate Winslet in it right nope takes place on a boat no oh okay uh it's got uh sounds like a good movie though whatever that one is

we've got called revolutionary road although part of it does take place on a boat to be fair they gotta take a boat to shutter island yeah there were no planes no landing strip uh no uh motor cars not a single luxury was it el stinkaroo or was it good it was it wasn't my thing yeah but uh yeah there's too much there's a lot of it uh it's a martin scorsese picture oh i've heard of him uh and there's too much of it that happens in a dream sequences oh rats um the whole thing it was all a dream no it wasn't but it was and it was also marketed uh the commercials all mentioned oh you won't believe the unbelievable twist ending yeah well if you set it up like that i bet i will i bet you'll figure it out immediately. Yeah, I feel like when a movie's gotten to the point where that's the thing that they've decided to hinge it on, then you're in big trouble.

Because then you are. You're just inviting a legion of people to go see the movie who are going to be sitting there puzzling over what the twist could possibly be. And unless you're a real dum-dum, you're going to figure it out, right? But the movie-going experience was pretty great. Just because it was, I saw it, I think, at 3 o'clock in the afternoon last Saturday. Sweet. Matinee. And it was a matinee, so I wasn't expecting it to be full. But the whole theater was packed. There was a lineup for so i wasn't expecting it to be full but the whole theater was packed like

like there was a lineup for people to get tickets to everything yeah because matinees are the best and going to movies in the nighttime stinks yeah yeah yeah yeah uh but uh uh so we got there and it was full yeah we managed to get two pretty good seats. And we sat down. And everyone else who was there, who was coming into the theater, didn't think it would be full either. Because the movie was out for four weeks already. And so everyone who came into the theater, we watched their faces go from happy joking to, oh, we're going to have to sit in the front. gonna have to sit in the front if i if ever you do get in a situation where you have to sit in the front just don't just go and ask for your money back well no it's you're not going to enjoy it like the last time i had to do that uh it's it's so thoroughly unenjoyable that you should just if that happens you should just go and say i don don't want to see this anymore. It's unacceptable.

Yeah. It's no, I'll go see How to Tame a Dragon. What the fuck is that movie called that I keep referencing? Oh, the Disney movie? Yeah. It's How to Train Your Dragon. But the commercials just call it Dragon. Ooh.

Yeah. The Bruce Lee story. But the other big thing that happened in the movie was it's about two and a half hour long. Sorry, guys. Two and a half hour long. That's local dialect. It's two and a half hours.

He's from Halifax. Two and a half hours long. And about two hours in, a girl. Ooh. Yeah. and uh about two hours in a girl oh yeah two rows in front of us took out her phone and started texting oh or sexting I don't like, uh, confrontation. No. And usually if someone's talking behind me in a movie theater, I hate that. Uh, and I will turn around, I'll give them a look. Yeah.

And then I'll, at the second chance, I'll shush them. Yeah. And then I will just not do anything. Because those are my, those are my trump cards. Because that was my Trump card. But this girl, two rows in front of us, thanks Donald Trump. We should have him on the show. Very imitative. Yeah, exactly.

He's next. She was texting and I was like, I won't stand for this. And so we got there right before the movie started so we didn't have time to get popcorn or anything otherwise i would have thrown popcorn at her but i reached into my pocket and i had a couple receipts so i crumpled up a receipt and threw it at her head nice and i don't think i hit her but i think she saw it go past her and then abby uh about a minute later, did the same thing. Hit her in the back of the head. She turned around and looked, but didn't get the idea that she should stop texting.

Right. Continued texting. So I threw a third ball of paper, hit her in the head. And I'm expecting the people around me to be like, hey, good job. Yeah. They didn't react at all. No. They didn't even seem to notice that she was texting was she texting on a kindle or something huge she was texting on a

flip phone oh a razor but it was illuminating all around her like it was too much everything is illuminated and uh so finally after the third one she she stopped. Yeah. Thank God. But you didn't stop throwing paper because you had got addicted to the power. But I couldn't enjoy the rest of the movie because that kind of confrontation really got my adrenaline flowing. And I could hear the blood pumping in my ears. I couldn't focus on... That's the twist that they talk about in the trailers. There's going to be somebody in the theater who knows. But that's unacceptable.

It is unacceptable, but quietly texting during a movie? Yeah. I think doing anything but paying attention. The movie theater is a dark place and your screen is bright. Also, there needs to be

some sort of reorientation towards like what the – when you're at a thing and you're around other people who have also paid to be part of that thing, the minimum standard is that you should just be watching that thing. You have every right to not be at that thing but to go to a movie talk on a phone text talk to a friend any of that type of concert and people are singing along i know that's fine because there's a to an opera yeah is it a hip opera orera? Yeah, it's Carmen, the hip-hopera. Yeah, then that's fine, because who can stay in their seats? But I think that, you know, it's just like, it's one of those things. It's the same thing, and we've all been at a comedy show where somebody's got their fucking feet on the stage.

And you're just like, what the fuck has happened to going out? and you're just like what the fuck has happened to going out and i think it's because there's a whole generation probably a couple generations that never had to like you know they never had to pay a lot of money to go see a thing so there's no value attached to it and even in if there is it's their parents paid for them to go to Coachella or whatever. Sure. And so it's like – They won it from a radio station. If you grew up as a kid and you only got to go to one movie every couple of months, you would really treat it with a different level of interaction than you would if you could go to a movie every week,

every week of every year of your whole life. Did your parents ever reward you for getting A's? Well, I mean, in theory, they would have. Hypothetically, yeah, maybe. Mine didn't either. You got A's? Well, I got a few. I got straight few i got straight a's did you really yeah oh yeah i was on the whatever you call it not dean's list because i don't have dean's on a roll yeah

that's it yeah okay well then but your parents didn't reward you specifically for that no but they rewarded me by not punishing me right that was fine yeah i don't think i ever got really i i they mostly my parents mostly noticed the bad grades yeah uh your c's your c pluses yeah your orange crushes yeah the the dave you could do better grades yeah yeah we expect more of you yeah uh but the um i had these cousins who got straight a's every time and i i never came close to straight a's right um like you take eight courses so eight a's on a report card i would get maybe three or four pretty good um and they would get rewarded with a blizzard but like and i guess that's more reward than i got for my whatever three a's yeah

but i could also get a blizzard whenever i wanted wow so you grew up in a world of not appreciating those blizzards yeah to this day your cousins probably like really take a lot of care and time eating a blizzard like i really enjoy it's gonna melt gotta eat it fast i uh what do you think mike what do you think about texting and such in a movie theater you seemed like you were pretty cool with it you were like well whatever well no until he pointed out what he's saying uh which i understand now it's weird it's it's odd like i guess i'm old enough to remember pre-cell phones and it seems now people can't go through the length of a movie without checking to see if someone's contacted them,

which is odd, right? Oh, and I was bored in the movie. And I considered picking up my phone three or four times. No, I can't do that. I am a human being. It is a drag that it isn't an event anymore. I remember my parents saying it was. It was something where when you go see a movie, you dress up for it.

It was like a big deal, right? No way. No, that never happened. My parents were that old. Like taking an airplane flight. No. Well, seeing a movie would be an event, right? Whereas now it's cheapened to the point where, yeah, you play games on your cell phone while it's happening because it's boring.

Yeah. I remember there used to be a trailer that they would play. Or it wasn't a trailer, but it was like an ad that they would play before the trailers. This is when I was maybe like a teenager going to see movies. And it was this... It was very well done. It was shot – it may have even been from a movie. It might have been from Barton Fink actually.

But anyways, it was a guy pacing, agonizing over the screenplay, right? It had a typewriter. It was kind of set in the 40s. And it just showed this guy agonizing over every little detail in the screenplay and it just said you know a lot of people worked on this movie the least you could do is not talk through it or whatever and i was like how come that went away how come that like warning system of hey don't be a douchebag turn your cell phone off well they do have those still i think yeah but they're brought to you by telus yeah they're like hey we're the guys that enable you to do this don't do it during the

movie but do it if you want yes responsibly it's uh i don't yeah i feel it's a misnomer and you say you're old enough to remember uh pre-cell phones cell phones haven't really been around that long i mean they've been around uh i don't know 20 years in north america yeah if you factor in the zach morris years yeah sure a little longer but in terms of times when you could text like that's not even 10 years really no that's true and when you knew someone else that had a cell phone. But not only is it incredibly new, that form like texting and all that, but it just seems like there are more and more people who are constantly checking their phones. Like you can't be disconnected, even though you've paid to go see a movie.

But here's the question. You're paying more for your phone. Is society less interesting so that people now feel they need to focus their energy on a phone? Are the movies worse? Yeah. Has society always been boring and we just didn't have a distraction so we always had to have daydreams or read a newspaper? Yeah. You had to do other things, but now you don't have to

be i probably i'm gonna guess that life was more you know the same level of boring but you had more to do and i think everything took longer in the old days like you had to uh uh like everything like there were no dryers in the 50s. You know what I mean? So that was like a whole day doing your fucking wash. Just getting into town at the movie theater.

You had to watch your clothes dry. Yeah. You literally had to watch. That's where that expression comes from. Yeah. Because they used to call it

clothes paint. Yeah. Yeah. I love the idea of your parents dressing up to go to a movie especially some dumb movie yeah like we're going to howard the duck put on your baby tuxedo if only yeah you've got the opera glasses little mike's got his magnifying glass I have a bag of playing glass. Ah, lordy. Whew. Graham, can we get to know you?

Sure. Yeah, not, like, I've been doing, the reason we're taping on a Saturday afternoon is because I had to do shows every night this week, just because that's some weeks. Do you do shows every night? No. No? It's terrible. At the end of the week, you're just like, I never want to do comedy ever again.

Well, yeah, I have done multiple shows during the week, but not usually the weekend. It's not a pissing contest. I would normally lose, I imagine. What, a pissing contest? Yeah. Well, I remember the longest time I didn't ever go to your show because that was kind of like the hump day. I was burnt out yeah doing

shows sunday monday tuesday it's just like i would like to go see it but yeah i have lambs to sacrifice and i can't come into town sure you've got to pray to the god hermes that's greek isn't it yeah um but yeah so he's the messenger god is? Yeah. Is that why they named that store after him? I don't know. Okay. There is a store called Hermes, though, right? Hermes. What is it?

Mostly messenger apparel. Yeah. I don't know if it has anything to do with the Greek god. A lot of neckwear. Really? Yeah. Skies. Skies and ties.

Yeah, sure. They've got watches that wrap around your wrist twice. Oh, for extra security. For a slippery-wristed gentleman. Go on. And yeah, so that's what I've been doing. I've been doing that, and

you know, it's like, I did a show on Wednesday. I opened for Shane Koizan, who we were talking a couple weeks ago, was the slam poet that participated in the Winter Olympics opening ceremony. And so he had two... Oh, Canada. Yeah, that's him. And yeah, we know each other from years ago.

And he said, do you want to do a set to kind of open up the show? Two sold out nights he's doing here in town. And you just, there's just no mistaking like that is an audience. Like an audience that came out, like you say, dressed up like they were going to a thing, enjoyed the thing. Were they dressed up like they were going to a slam poetry show, though? No, they were all wearing top hats and feathered derbies. But I wonder, is there a costume you wear to see slam poetry? Yeah, it's a Jack Skellington.

They were all dressed like Jack Skellington. From Nightmare Before Christmas. You said costumes. Okay. No, it was people that were, it was people all ages that had come to see a show and acted like they were at a show and

then the following night you know, was working at a regular kind of comedy club and it's, like I said, like feet on the stage, people showing up so drunk that they're cross-eyed. And you're just like, this is people like being turned away at the door because they're too drunk to even get their tickets out of their pocket.

And I'm like, why? Phil Hanley was at the show and he reminded me that years ago I said, Vancouver is the type of city where I know a slam poet that makes more than any of the standup comedians I know in town. Like, and not just a little more. Like, does far, yes, and plays to sold out audiences that just come to see him. We're in the wrong business and I don't have the talent to participate in the

other one. Also, but there's no slam poetry club with a four drink minimum. Well, the first rule about slam poetry club. But I was at that comedy club during the Olympics and they were so desperate to have people in the audience that one of them, I just thought, they let people come in with their dogs.

I would perform for dogs. It's like that movie, Comedy Club for Dogs. Oh, I would do so much crowd work there's uh the show that i help produce there's cats usually in the crowd and that's fun yeah performing in front of animals you do your show is at a veterinary hospital is that right yeah almost patrick of assisi sometimes that happens the irish italian saint of dogs dogs and cats um but during the olympics i was performing uh and and as i was walking in and out um i heard the uh the bouncer giving the the women who were coming in a little warning he said i'm sorry if you're going to fall asleep, I'm going to have to kick you out.

Yeah, there was a whole table of women. And this isn't atypical. You know, it was a stagette. And all of them had been given some kind of light-up contraption. So the entire night, there was this, like, distracting corner of just women with these i don't know they were light rings or something because they kept moving the whole night great yeah and uh so at one point i think it was phil who asked very politely if they would turn them off yeah and not only did they refuse they moved them around vigorously just in protest. And then at the end would not leave even though the show was over. Do you remember us a couple years ago?

We were on the same show on a weekend. And there was actual finger-bagging going on in the audience. But, yeah, so there was that. And then that's really like, I mean, you know, I did other stuff during the week. But nothing that, it's just literally I have one more night of the comedy club. And I'm working with two really funny guys. It's not the show. It's just like, I don't understand who people are that go to comedy clubs.

I know now I have like. It's partly Vancouver. Because I'm sure there are good comedy clubs. It is partly Vancouver. Oh, yeah. There's got to be. Because there's great comics all over the place. So there's got to be good.

And they work. That's true. It's a living. It's a living. And I'm not disparaging the club. It's the... I don't understand the audiences that are showing up. Like, because the club does a very good job.

Last night, they wouldn't let in people that were too drunk looking, which is great. But I don't understand the mentality behind somebody getting so drunk and then having to sit in a place and do something that requires mental cooperation.

Like, you know, like, the crowd, a lot of the crowd that was there mental cooperation. Like, you know, like, the crowd, a lot of the crowd that was there seemed like the type of crowd who would rather be in a place where you couldn't hear each other talk and could see some finger banging. Yeah, in plain sight.

I want to perform just in front of dogs and people finger banging, but no people finger banging dogs. No, that would be wrong. But no people finger-banging dogs. No, that would be wrong. But yeah, so I don't know. I don't want it to come off sounding like I'm not appreciative of the... Shrug.

Shrug. You're like, whatever. Yeah. I just, I don't understand it. You shouldn't be appreciative. They should be appreciative of you, Graham. Well, that's not going to happen. Because I'm here in my stag hut.

I'm from Applesburg. Why are you kicking us out? Like, it was literally the lights are on. People are, like, vacuuming the club. Why are you kicking us out? Well, the MC said you had to leave. The MC did. Blame it on him.

Yeah, blame it on him. Now the MC controls things around here. He is the most powerful man in this club. And that's it on him. Yeah, blame it on him. Now the MC controls things around here. He is the most powerful man in this club. And that's it, too. Like, you're the least important part of the show, and just like, oh, goodness. Why did I get off on this tangent? I don't know. Because nothing else happened to me this week?

Okay. Okay, then. Oh, wait. I opened up my own comedy club for dogs. Did I mention that? What's it called? Woof Woofs? You guys can't hear, but Mike Thomas loved that joke.

Mike Thomas is the keeper. He's being very coy today. That's what we love about him. His coyness yeah man there's just noise coming from this is just an activity this house is alive

love it's a haunted mansion do we want to move on? let's move on let's make our big announcement sure go ahead many of our listeners already know this it's been announced on intranet. We will

be joining the empire known as Maximum Fun. Yes. If you don't add, if you're kind of new to podcasts or what have you, and aren't familiar with Jesse Thorne and his multitude of podcasts under the banner of Maximum Fun,

they include The Sound of Young America, Jordan Jesse Go, the Coil and Sharp podcast, the Casper Hauser podcast. And now, Stop Podcasting Yourself will be under their banner. And what that basically means is you'll be able to buy shirts. Yeah. Our website will be moved to their website. We will be doing fundraising as part of their annual fundraiser that they do through our show. Yeah. And as a result of that, we can start making money for our show.

Dollar dollar bills, y'all. So if you, yeah, a lot of people in the past have asked us if they can support our show somehow financially, and now there's a way. And a will. Oh, there's a will. But for all further details about what kind of changes you will be able to expect from this merger, we've actually got Jesse Thorne to explain some of the differences that you'll hear. Let's call him up. Okay, so now we... Jesse, are you there?

Yes, I am. Thank you, gentlemen. Oh, hello, Mr. Thorne. Of course, and I do ask that you call me Mr. Thorne. Well, that goes without saying. You're the boss man now. I was a little offended when you called me Jesse at first. I'm sorry, sir.

Sir, we were just explaining to our listeners about how we've joined your empire. It's a joy to have you guys on board for this operation. I couldn't be happier. I mean, I won't say that I've listened to your show, but I've heard a lot of good things about it. to your show, but I've heard a lot of good things about it. And I'm just, as a general rule, very proud to own

something new. Okay. That's what's kept eBay in business. Exactly. Yeah, so we were explaining to our listeners that, you know, the show is going to basically be the same. We'll do the same segments, and they will hardly notice any changes.

If I could interject there, Gramps. It's Dave. Dave, not Gramps. You can call me Grant, though. I'm cool. So Dave and Gramps. Yeah. If I could interject there, whoever is there.

I mean, we'll get to the names later. Sure. I'm glad you shared with your listeners. I think, and I agree with you wholeheartedly, in that I think the spirit of Stop Podcasting Yourself will remain exactly the same. In many ways, the show will not change at all. Okay. I heard that you said many.

Exactly. Oh, okay. Let's say there are 1,000 facets of Stop Podcasting Yourself. I've never thought of it that way, but sure. 10,000 facets. Like a multifaceted diamond. Okay, right.

Literally, out of those 10,000 facets, literally hundreds of those facets will remain exactly the same. The rest will be crafted by a master jeweler, that's me, to make things more sparkly. Something that's a little bit, I don't want to say that your show to this point has been a failure.

No. Well, certainly this episode. But I think that I have a lot to offer you, given my experience in both commercial and public media. As you guys probably know, I worked for a very successful public radio program called West Coast Live. We do know that. There's no need to applaud that.

And I also worked for one of San Francisco's top morning shows, Sarah and No Name, for several weeks. So I think I have a... That's pretty good. I have a pretty good handle on what the marketplace is looking for. And I think we can turn your show from a dud into a sud, which is to say soap that will clean the stain of failure off of your reputations.

Oh, nice. Yeah. I'm so happy to be here and be able to help you and welcome you into our family. Thanks. Yeah. This is going to be like all in the family, right? Like Archie Bunker-esque or more Family Ties family? Or is it Family Matters?

Can I ask you guys a really serious question? Sure. Okay. Are you guys ready for this? Are you guys ready to take the next step to go from being zeros to heroes? Well, I don't like your tone, sir. But, you know, we did sign our lives away. You seemed a lot friendlier in the negotiation process. That's called negotiating. Sorry. Maybe contract negotiations are different in the frozen north. Here in America, once you sign on the dotted line, you belong to me.

Oh. Ooh. And is that why he got us to put a lock of our hair with the contract? Guys, look. My podcasting-themed Jurassic Park clone is not what we're here to talk about. Oh, okay. We're here to talk about simple changes that you guys can make to take your show from zero to hero. Do you mind if I just sort of run through them a little bit?

And I'm, of course, open to your feedback. And I'm, of course, open to your feedback. I mean, as long as there's no expectation of follow-up, I'm more than happy to spend a little bit of time listening to what you have to say. Sure, go ahead. Well, first of all, I don't know if you've ever listened to commercial radio here in the United States. I don't know if they have commercial radio up there.

We sometimes get pirate signals from Seattle. Exactly. We mostly just have radiators up here instead of radios. That was a big platform by the ruling political party up here. You need something to listen to while you're standing in the breadline. I understand. That's true. Here in the United States, sound effects are a huge and terribly, desperately important part of any radio or audio program.

So I thought rather than start you out with the whole sound board, just because I'm not sure if you guys can handle the technology, I thought I would start you with three simple sound effects. Do you feel like you can handle that i hope one of them's a timpani drum uh no sadly none are timpani drums uh nobody cares about the instruments of the orchestra um people care about hot pop culture topics the latest things going on in the world of entertainment so uh here is uh here's the first sound effect i don't know if you guys did you guys get austin powers up there uh not yet no but yeah we're hoping this is something still have uh rambo first blood is in the theaters right now this is something that a lot of your listeners are going to recognize and it's a great thing to play um when someone says something super sexy. Yeah, baby, yeah!

That happens a lot. And I'm looking forward to your show becoming more super sexy. Again, zeros to heroes. Yeah, I'm excited about this change, too. Here's another sound effect you can use. All righty then. Now, that one is from a movie. That's actually one of your Canadian brothers, Jim Carrey. Oh, is that Senator Jim Carrey?

Yes, in his hit film Ace Ventura When Nature Calls. So you can play that when stuff starts to get a little bit crazy. Like when one of your regular callers or one of your favorite characters, a midget or a miserly Jew, says something that puts everyone out of their comfort zone, then you play that sound effect, and I think it will bring everybody on board. We don't have characters as of yet. Will we be given characters? I'll ask you to develop some characters i'll give you basic

guidelines a list of physical and mental disabilities um and just differences between people things that make people less than right and you can develop the characters around that setup could we do a character called austin powers um you know yes but only in the sense that you could ask a question and then play a clip from the movie. Oh, okay, that sounds good enough. And in that case, I would ask you to follow up each clip with like a laser sound. If that's okay. No, that's more than okay. Dave, are you on board for this?

So far, so good. I mean, I thought these changes would be kind of hacky. No, that's more than okay. Dave, are you on board for this? So far, so good. I mean, I thought these changes would be kind of hacky. No, not at all. So basically, you have one sound effect for when things get too sexy. You have one sound effect for when things get too crazy. And

here's this last sound effect. Pro-response. That one is for when someone on the show, one of your guests or whatever, explains a monomaniacal driving passion that skirts the line between genius and insanity. Well, that happens almost weekly. Right. So you'll just play that sound effect in that case.

What was that one from? That was from Citizen Kane. That was Orson Welles from the film Citizen Kane. I thought it was from My Father the Hero. I tried to... You misheard that as Gerard Depardieu? Yes. Yeah, that was my fault.

We get a lot of really recent French movies. Right. We're a bilingual culture up here. So what I'm saying essentially is you have now a sound effect for the three most common situations, too sexy, too crazy, and, uh, an explanation of a monomaniacal driving passion that skirts the line between genius and insanity. All right.

Um, let me ask you this. Let me ask you guys this question. Um, again, I haven't technically heard the show, but I'm guessing that you're not talking a lot right now about my Coke rewards.com.

Uh, at the moment, uh, we, we don't get,'t get dot anythings in Canada. Okay. Are you saving points at all, Coke points? Yeah, we have to. It's a government-mandated thing.

They're located under the rim, right? Great. Like you roll up the rim and you collect points? Precisely. And you can trade them in for polar fleece hoodies, for example, or jet skis, or notepads. MyCokeRewards.com is really a central guiding principle of MaximumFun.org. It's the thing that we really and truly, if you could say, believe in. Oh, okay.

Like the Cher song. Exactly. I think that's like the Olympics theme. it's it's a little bit like the olympics um all right everything for you people is about the olympics isn't it that's true it was a big party lots of high fives uh number number three uh let's talk about your names um they they were gramps and daver yeah basically um the deaver as we call them so like daver and daver uh you know here in the united states we have a long history of punchy impressive names for broadcasters okay um so uh uh daver i'm gonna from here on, you're going to call yourself Flash Mountain. Flash Mountain, okay. And Gramps, your new name is Dallas Balls.

Dallas Balls? Yeah, that's correct. Wow. All right, Dallas Balls. I just have one question. What is the maximum fun policy on dog obedience? I ask that my dog bark in the background. It's for dog lovers.

Okay. Fair enough. We'll get to dogs in just a minute. Before we talk about that, though, I want to talk quickly about brand extension. Okay. You might be familiar with, say, Miley Cyrus. I think she's a really great example of brand extension um you might be familiar with say miley cyrus i think she's a really great example of brand extension she's taken her platform achy breaky heart and driven it into

a variety of media from um uh television programs to uh jet skis uh films uh to pornography. Is that right? Oh, wow. And that got me thinking. What brands does Stop Podcasting Yourself have that they could extend into other forms? And what I came up with was one of what I'm told is your signature segments, the overheard segment.

Yeah, that's right. So right now you've got overheard and occasionally, from what I understand, again, from what one of my assistants has told me, you've also got something called overseen. Yeah. I'm thinking of adding overfelt. Oh, hello.

That's just whatever you've grabbed today. Oh, okay. Wow, it's getting a little too sexy in here. I wish we had that sound effect. Exactly. Well, you will soon enough. Whatever we've grabbed today. Oh, okay. Wow, it's getting a little too sexy in here. I wish we had that sound effect. Exactly. Well, you will soon enough. Whatever we've grabbed today, like, do we edit anything out, or is it, do we have to catalog everything we've grabbed at? You should be grabbing things that will excite your listeners. Okay. So, just a couple of examples. You should, I mean, obviously, you should be grabbing women on the subway.

Sexual assault is an important part of success in the radio industry. Sure. But I'd also say just other cool stuff, stuff that's really pointy. Electrical stuff. What about ooey-gooies? Certainly those. Okay. So like a starfruit or a rotten starfruit.

Exactly. Okay, alright. Speaking of dogs, and I'm glad you brought up dogs, I understand that one of you has a dog. I do have a dog. That's a blue mountain. Who was that? Balls? Flash Mountain. Flash Mountain. Okay, Flash. Sell your dog. Buy a scruffier

dog. I think that one pretty much explains itself. Sell my dog, did you say? Yes, sell it. Like on a street corner or at a flea market. I don't want to do that. Well, then do it on Craigslist. Well, no, they don't allow that on Craigslist. You have to go on Kijiji.

Well, either way, whatever you want to do, get rid of this dog. I mean, you can euthanize it for all I care. You're going to need to buy a scruffier dog scruff oh okay can we just uh um can i give them pills like beard growing pills eyebrow pills yeah sure if you've got extra beard growing pills around you know give us i mean i personally i personally have a really spectacular beard i don't need pills, but whatever. Number six, immigrants. I feel like I've talked to a few of my development people, and I feel like you guys aren't blaming immigrants for enough stuff. Sure. I know that you have immigrants there in Canada. I don't really know where they're from, and frankly, it doesn't matter. What's important is that you identify problems that are going on in society and then organize people around a blame of and fear of foreigners.

Okay, like a scaped goat. Exactly, an escaped goat. We should start with those goats that have come over here and are eating all our cans. Let's say a goat escapes. Who are you going to blame? Probably the Croats. Sure. Someone from the Balkans.

I'm confused. Are we scapegoating or are we blaming people for escaped goats? No, I would never ask that you allow a goat to escape. Is that what you're saying? Yeah, well, I got confused. I got caught up in the language. Yeah, I believe that goats should be held in cages with foreigners. Right, precisely.

Goats are a lot like foreigners. They'll eat anything. They're smelly. They're ornery. Sure. They're cute as babies. Absolutely. There's no doubt about that.

And we call them kids. That's why it's so important that when they're babies, while they're still cute, that's when you sell them. Again, Kijiji, eBay, Craigslist, a flea market. It doesn't matter. Just get them out of your country. Sure. And make a profit on it. Exactly.

That's the American way. You guys are learning fast. I got to hand you that. You guys are learning fast. Yeah, we went from not knowing Austin Powers to knowing who Miley Cyrus is. That's the Dallas Balls way. The last thing I want to talk to you about is sort of a lost in

translation type thing. Okay. We're getting that movie soon. There are certain things that you guys call something, you have a name for in Canada that's different from what those of us who

live in a normal place call it. Okay. Like a Chesterfield. Exactly. So there's so many more people living here in, you know, there's so many more normals than there are Canadians that I would ask that you translate things for those of us here in the United States. Okay.

I can work that into my schedule. Great. We'll ask the lieutenant if we have time for that. I'm sorry. I'm sorry? We'll ask our lieutenant if we have time for that. Oh, lieutenant, I guess you would call it in the States. Oh, okay.

Sorry. I was completely baffled there for a moment. Entirely baffled i i did actually some research i learned about a few special words that you people use um the first one is washroom sure um that's where you urinate here in the united states we call that a goose closet okay a goose closet. Makes sense. You guys use something called a loonie and a toonie? Yeah, that's our currency. And one of our birds. We call that monopoly money.

Okay, right. And the last thing, I think that you guys, I've heard you guys talk about it in clips that have been played for me, something called a prime minister. Sure, yes. We're very political. Right, so what I would ask that you call that is either a shitty president or, just to be sort of more concise, a super pussy. So we would say, don't charge your super

pussy any Monopoly money to use our goose closet. Precisely. And that would make perfect sense down in the States. Yeah, exactly. Okay, great. And I don't know. I feel like you guys, I already feel like we're on the same wavelength

and that this collaboration is going to be a really huge success. I'm really excited. How about you, Mel? I'm really looking forward to murdering my dog. Great. Well, that sounds fantastic.

I mean, let me just recap really what's really important. Okay. Number one, you adapt your program. Make it more effective, more palatable to American listeners. And together, we can take Stop Podcasting Yourself from Zero to Hero. Number two, you understand that you're now part of a family, a team, a squadron of entertainers. It's more than just you. It's you.

It's Coyle and Sharp. It's Jordan Jesse Go. It's The Sound of Young America. It's all of these things which are much greater in the whole than they are by themselves, with the exception of the ones that I'm involved with, which are actually even more impressive by themselves than they are as part of the whole. Okay. That's a weird math. It's like the White Power Ranger. Exactly.

Or the White Power Ranger and the Power Rangers or the Klan. It's a lot like just whites. Right, yeah. We got it going on. And finally, I think for years your audience has been thinking that they're getting something for nothing. I guess that's how it works in Canada. I guess that's how it works in Canada. I guess in Canada, as long as you wait long enough, you can get yourself some free shoe leather soup.

Sure. Here in the United States, if you enjoy something, you have to pay for it. So coming up in May will be what we call the Maximum Fun Drive. What this is is an opportunity for your listeners to voice their support for your program and get you paid. I've already put you on the – I've taken the liberty of putting you on the Maximum Fund Payroll in advance. Thank you. You're welcome. I'm going to buy some shoe leather soup. You don't need to pay for that.

You can buy some American books. You can pay the smaller price on the back cover. That's right. And you know, I'm going to go ahead and say I'm going to go ahead and ask those listeners out there who support you to when the Maximum Fun Drive comes around

to make a donation. And I bet they'll get some cool thank you gifts and prizes. Whoa, sounds pretty good. Those are my three core lessons, if you will, for the ignorant among your audience, which is to say, you know, your listeners. Oh, yeah, fair enough. Smoking. I'm an educator.

I'm an entertainer and also an educator. Yeah. And an agiter and also an educator. Yeah. And an agitator, a little bit. Well, I like to think of myself as a placater. That's like a plate spinner, right? Yeah, exactly. Okay, all right. It doesn't work as well on radio, which is why I do it less on Jordan Jesse Go.

Right. It's mostly just noise in the background. Yeah, go. Right. It's mostly just noise in the background. Yeah, exactly. Actually, what you might have thought was my dog Coco barking was actually me doing a new plate spin I've been working on. Oh, wow, it's so squeaky. Yeah, it's a very squeaky plate. Well, good for you.

Well, in all sincerity, guys, I'm really happy to have you guys as part of MaximumFun.org. I'm looking forward to working with you. I'm looking forward to writing you a check every month. I just found out that my automatic payment system won't send a check to Canada, which I can understand, but it means that I'll actually have to physically write you guys a check so you guys can make some money at this. Everybody loves getting mail. I know.

It's going to be great. I know. Even Canadians. We're not so different. No. We're basically the same. Well, guys, thank you so much for having me on your show. Well, thanks for letting us join Maximum Fun.

And letting us know the lay of the land. I have a question. Okay. On future episodes of Stop Podcasting Yourself, should I happen to appear on them? Uh-huh. Yeah. Don't count your chickens. Do you think, I'm just saying, were it to happen, do you think that I will be this ridiculous arrogant guy character that I just did for 15 minutes.

Not even 15 minutes, 20 minutes. We weren't expecting such a long, protracted, prolonged, protracted explanation. But you certainly kept it up. nation but um you certainly kept it up i like the idea of it morphing into more of a j jonah jameson type of character where you're barking orders at us what if we just have my dog coco who's already demonstrated her willingness to bark while i'm trying to record what if we just have her be the j jonah jameson type figure and we're all working for her. Yeah, I like that. I'd love to work for a dog. I promise that when I wrote a six-point outline for the jokes I wanted to do on your show this morning, like 20 minutes ago, it was not my intent for those six jokes to take 20 minutes to tell.

Well, guys, welcome to MaximumFun.org. If the website's not up by the time this show goes up, it will be up shortly. We're working on the graphics and integrating you guys into the show, and we're really, really happy to have you on board. And we're great admirers of your work, and we're delighted.

Well, thanks, Jesse. We are delighted as well. I'll talk to you guys later, huh? Okay. All the best. All right, take care. Okay, so that sounds positive. Yeah.

I think it was mostly joking. Well, I'm still going to call you Blue Mountain. I think Blue Mountain is the greeting card online service. What was that, Dallas Balls? It's hard to remember these days. You want to do some overheards? I sure do. Overheard.

Overheard. Maybe you are like a dolphin and can pick up sounds via, what is it? Echo location? Oh, Echo the Dolphin. Yeah, Echo the Dolphin. Thank you. Things that you've overheard in life, overseen in life. Maybe you've read something that tickled you just so.

And we like to start with the guest. That's you, Mike. That's me. Here it is. Eyes on you. Yes. I overheard this. I was riding on public transit, which is my mode of communication.

Communication, sorry. Transportation. Thank you. And there's a bunch of teenage girls, and one of them, I guess, hadn't eaten for a day. And she was asking her friends if that's all right and they said yeah and then uh one of the friends because they're skinny little teenage girls trying to keep their weight down which is you know important yeah uh if they want to be popular and have friends and all that um so one of them said i was was good today. I ate all meals today. Which, besides being grammatically incorrect, I just like because it is a guy who's been, as long as I can remember, overweight.

I've always redefined the boundaries as to what a meal constitutes, right? So I just thought, I wondered what she meant by all meals. All possible meals. Like, you know, coming home drunk at three in the morning, eating a microwave pack of breakfast sausages over the sink. Is that one of the meals that she had during the day? Taco Bell's fourth meal. Yeah.

Yeah. She's talking breakfast, lunch, dinner. All meals. Oatmeal. Cornmeal. Brunch. Yeah. Lupper.

Yeah. Meals on wheels. Yeah. Lupper. Yeah. Meals on wheels. Sure. A meal Hirsch. A soup that eats like a meal. Yeah. You're chunky. Meal.

Now, Mike, I just would like to say you look great. Thank you very much. You don't need to worry about your weight. Yeah, you're not overweight. You look excellent also. Yeah. Thanks. I do. Thank you very much. You don't need to worry about your weight. You look excellent also. You have the, almost like a face and body that would be, I would think, am I wrong,

that would be kind of like the matinee idols in the 40s style. That's the Mike Thomas look. A handsome, dashing man. Yeah, like somebody who could play a real knockabout guy in a 40s film. I would be a character in a movie that if it was set in the South, women would be overcome by the vapors when they saw me. And basically faint. Oh, speaking of which, that's what happened to me this week that was great.

At the comedy club... You got the vapors. There was a guy, it was a big, a very, very large man, kind of like a Chris Farley sized guy wearing a jacket. It's a little small. A little fat guy in a little coat. And he, after almost every joke,

took out a handkerchief and patted down his forehead and patted down his neck. As a joke? No, for real. It's very warm in that comedy club. But also, he was? No, for real. Because he had to. Oh, it's very warm in that comedy club. But also, he was having such a great time. But he had to pat down. He had to dry it off.

Normally, when you're doing well, you sweat a lot. You were also saying that there was a guy who had a rich guy laugh. Yeah, he had a laugh that was like, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. And he loved the show. He was sitting right in the front row. He was a good-looking young man. And very much like as I was trying to process, like, where is that laugh from? And then I thought it was like the rich kid in an 80s film where there's like a ski school or insert a camp or whatever.

And then the rich kids are going to take over. They have to turn everything into a parking lot. Yeah, he's got a sweater tied around his neck, and he goes, ha ha ha. That's what this guy was doing the whole show. It was the greatest. So you know what? Now I'm looking back on this weekend.

Big week. Not bad. Not bad at all. Fat guy sweating it out, and rich kid laughs. 80s laugh. 80s rich kid laugh. You have to be nostalgic for free. Yeah, exactly.

Yeah, I didn't have to pay for my nostalgia this week. Dave, do you got an overheard? Do I got one? I sure got one. Did you eat all the meals? Armageddon it. Here's what's what. During this show, it's a Saturday afternoon, and so there are children running

amok. Yeah, it is. This house is full of life. Yeah, the house is shaking with their joy. Yeah, youth and vigor. So much joy. What time are they getting up at? 6.30 in the morning? 7? They don't wake up before I do. I get up at 7.

7 days a week. That's 49. I get up at 49 a week that's the new math yeah you wake up feeling like a p diddy you uh i brush my teeth bottle of jack yeah and then you hit the city right is that how you do it uh it's kesha lyrics look them up uh oh i know that he doesn't have a computer yeah look him up on your in the phone for that song um do it we um yeah so there's a lot of kids around and uh across the street there's a church and on sunday mornings the kids stay till like two in the afternoon just running. No, running around, being Russian Orthodox.

Dreaming what Jesus might look like. You hate those people? Russian Orthodox. I don't know why that was brought up. I'm not sure. Why you hate them or why I brought it up? The Russian Orthodox. For some reason I went negative with that.

I apologize. We were going along with it. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, you took the air out of it. There's got to be something about them, I imagine. Probably the accents, the babushkas. The fact that they let their children run around in the morning. The kavorka.

They want to destroy Rocky. So, there's a couple of enormous, um, station wagons in my neighborhood. And one of them is like a seventies station wagon that is painted matte black. So a pussy wagon. Yeah, basically. Uh, but it kind of looks a bit like a hearse, but not. Like an Emil hearse. but not because of a color problem.

And the kids were at the church and they were talking about this station wagon and one of them said, I hear that car is haunted. Oh, neat. Haunted car! Oh, man, I would watch a show called Haunted Car. But it's just kind of like a kid thing where they kind of take bits and pieces of what they know about it. Oh, yeah, it's haunted.

Now, Mike, you were saying it could be. Do you think that a car can be haunted? If someone lived in that car and then died? Yeah. So do you, by that logic, is there such a thing as like a haunted watch? A haunted porta potty? Yeah. Well, I guess maybe if you're Japanese and you believe spirits are in everything.

Oh, yeah. Not really scary ghosts, just ghosts. They're usually nature spirits, though. What, nature spirits? Like a spirit of a tree? Could be scary. Could not be, but could be. Sure.

So what do you mean, nature spirits? Like a spirit of a tree? Could be scary. Yeah. Could not be, but could be. Sure. So what do you mean, nature spirits? I'm talking Shintoism. So like spirits of trees? Well, just everything has a spirit. It could be good or bad. Everybody gets spirited away. Yeah. Do you think, what do you think of the non-human things would have the spirits that would be

the most frightening? Like a volcano? Or like a trash compactor? Air freshener? Wait, a trash compactor can have a soul? That would be scary. Wait, that's not nature, I guess.

No, it's more nurture. Is it a natural constructed trash compactor? I don't know that they appear naturally. There's no trash compactors in nature, unless you count the... Yeah, I guess a volcano or like a spooky tree. A rock turned into a gravestone. I think that a spooky tree probably would just be a misunderstood soul and it'd be like, I'm just a tree.

People don't understand. This is just my shape. Yeah, like a goth kid. Yeah, I just catch the light in a weird way. Like a goth kid. Yeah. Oh, man. My overheard, I have kind of a twofold one that all came from the same train ride which was last night and uh there was the first one was an over scene which was a group of people

that just they got on and right away everybody on the train was like how many stops i'm gonna have to put up with these like they were just drunk and they'd obviously come from something semi-classy. And I only say that because they were dressed nice but kind of like winner's nice. Right. But they – you were wishing that they had been in your audience. Yeah. They were so drunk. Like the one guy was like – you know the bar kind of on the train that's in the middle that hangs from the ceiling where you're just supposed to hold on to your hand?

I thought you meant like an alcohol bar. Yeah, on the train, the drinking car. That's what they have in Vancouver. You can actually order beverages until 11 p.m. And reefer. There was a guy like hanging, doing like chin-ups on that. What? Nice.

It was just the worst, and they got on. Was he meeting chicks, or did he have a chick no there was it was three girls and three guys it was very friends okay and were they there for one another well they uh certainly i was just like it the one uh well she wasn't she was a woman easily pushing 40 uh what looked like she was about to have sex with the man on the train. Like it was very like she was wearing a very short skirt. And it was like there's very few steps that would be required for them to actually be having sex on the train. Well, I mean, most women like to change into their lingerie first. So that's one extra step that she probably didn't have on her.

That's true. Though she might have on the train. Yeah. She brought it with her. Yeah, in one of the changing compartments on our train. I want to slip into something a little more comfortable. But anyways, the best part was they walked on. They were horribly awful.

And also, you got the sensation that they had never been on a train before. Because as soon as the train started up, all six of them fell over. All six of them weren't holding on to nothing. And when the train kind of jerked forward, they all fell on the ground. So that was kind of one point of – When you said – you got the sensation they'd never been on a train before. I thought you were going to say – because as soon as it started, they went, wee! Choo-choo!

But the other one was going down to the club. There was a group of, they were all in town for a conference. And so they were just chatting away about this. What happens in Vancouver stays in Vancouver. And also should probably, because it's so boring that you wouldn't want to hear about it. But they were, a good portion of them were from Prince George. And they were talking about, they were like, there's this amazing Indian place in Prince George. And the one woman said, really? In Prince George?

That seems odd. And the guy said, yeah, it's like the most amazing Indian food. They have this weird ketchup. Indian food. They have this weird ketchup. I don't know a lot about Indian cuisine, but I don't think ketchup's a big part of it. I've never heard them using much ketchup in Indian cuisine. But when the guy said they had this weird

ketchup, I was like, is it Heinz? Is it here Indian? No, it's probably East Indian. We would call them First Nations. Well, they may not. They might be... If they're from a small town, they probably have a horrible word. Probably East Indian. East Indian, yeah. We would call them First Nations in the... Well, they may not. They might be... Yeah, if they're from a small town, they probably have a horrible word.

In which case, they might all... You know, some First Nations things might have a ketchup. But I've never heard that either in Indian cuisine using a lot of ketchup. Yeah, but I just like the guy who's like, No, you don't know Prince George. We got this great Indian restaurant. It's called Indies. It's called Swiss Chalet.

And yeah, so there you go. Love it. I'm loving it. A little train riding. And we also have some people who wrote in some great stuff. And I'll get to that now. Okay. The first one isn't necessarily of the overheard variety, but I really liked it.

It was from Nathan S. And it was, I recently had a conversation with a friend of mine who just started reading the classic novel Don Quixote. At some point in our conversation, he asked me if I had read it, to which I immediately replied, of course, since I had vivid memories of the storyline. However, after some thought, I realized that I had only seen the televised version from the TV show Wishbone, in which a talking Czech Russell Terrier acts out classic literature when his owner finds himself in parallel situations. out classic literature when his owner finds himself in parallel

situations. It turns out I was around 16 at the time and enjoyed that show way too much. Oh, that's a too old for it. Yeah, but it was so rich. Sure. So thanks a lot for sending that along. I just loved it. He's like, of course I've read it.

Wait a minute. Oh, I can say that about every book ever. I've not read any book, but I know every plot. There you go. Yeah, and that's all you need. This from Graham D. Actually, it was an overseen that came with a photo.

It was taken on the Malahat Highway on the island. And what it was was a van with, along the top back window, it said, MILF Hunter, and it had mud flaps that had the handicap sign on it. You know, because MILF hunters come in all shapes and sizes. Well, if you're hunting a MILF.

So he's into handicapped MILFs? No, I think he's handicapped, and he's looking hunting a milf. So he's into handicapped milfs? No, I think he's handicapped and he's looking for a milf. And he likes milfs. He likes milfs that are found atop a ramp. Well, there's got to be a match up there somewhere. Of course. Oh, yeah, buddy. There's somebody for everybody.

That's beautiful, yeah. Through a bumper. That's how you advertise. Exactly. This is from Taylor W. in Seattle. I haven't overheard from you guys that my mother texted me earlier today. She was on the bus when she overheard a guy saying

as soon as I'm back on the crack, I won't cough like this. Point of fact. Point of fact. That's true. It'll change my cough. It'll be a wet cough instead of this dry um this is from eric w um i am writing in with an overheard sorry uh about five minutes ago i was enjoying some uh chinese techo with my lovely fiancee who was watching gossip girl

on her laptop here Here's a sample. Mike's losing it. Is he? Is he losing it over there? Yeah. I don't... Maybe all this superfluous information will make sense at the end of it, but right now... It will make sense, especially

once you kind of go back, but it says, girl number one, I should have waited for Patrick Swayze from Dirty Dancing. Girl number two gives a confused look. Girl number one, Dirty Dancing. It's a good movie. You should download it.

Obviously, the writers of the show are trying really hard to be hip. I've never once felt the need to specify a particular format when recommending a movie. For instance, hey, you should check out Glitter on VHS. recommending a movie. For instance, hey, you should check out Glitter on VHS. However, he did specify that his girlfriend or fiancé was watching Gossip Girl on a laptop. So, every day, turn, turn, turn, right Mike? Yeah, it's circular. This comes to us from John O., who, when we were discussing

wheelchair curling, immediately thought that it was some kind of weightlifting competition in which people were picking up wheelchairs with their forearms extended in the manner of an arm curl, in which increasingly heavier people were sitting until the wheelchair became too heavy to lift. That's literally what this person thought. That is not at all an overheard. No, I know.

But I just kind of collected my favorites of the ratings. Your favorite emails. Yeah, basically. Sure. There's a great photo that a guy named Regis L sent in. I love it. Yeah. And it was a picture.

I don't have it right here, but it's an ad for a wet and fun kids pool. And the kid on the box could not look like she's having less fun big sour puss on her face hilarious there uh used to be there still is a commercial but they changed it the old um it's for uh washing your hands it's for kids it's about uh not all bugs need drugs so oh yeah yeah not all all sicknesses need antibiotics, so you should just wash your hands more. And it was just a montage of kids washing their hands, and they're all having a lot of fun,

and then there's just this one kid miserable to be washing his hands. Really? Yeah, not all bugs need drugs. this one kid miserable to be washing his hands. Really? Yeah. Not all bugs. Need drugs. This comes to us from Candice M. I saw something the other day while at work. I work for a fishing resort company,

and we manage a subsidiary who publicized an amazingly unintentional newsletter blooper this week. It was printed, I guess. I am sending you the link to my blog rather than the image because I'm too lazy to read the images of every reverence to the name of the resort. As I point to the blog, this went out to every past and current guest of the resort, like 5,000 people. And just bringing it up, here's the...

It's the creating a tighter bond at fishing in the Queen Charlotte Islands. And this is the poll quote in the middle of the article. I handed the throbbing rod to him and his fight was on. Which is pretty sexy. Right. I would go to that resort based on that quote alone. This comes from Chris D. I was sitting on a bench in downtown Winnipeg.

There was a couple of teenagers on a bench directly behind me. One of said teenagers started frantically searching through his backpack and says to his friends, Shit, where's my gun? This was followed by a few seconds of silence, and then, in a very sincere voice he says oh man i hope no one gets shot because then they would know it was you because it's registered to you

yeah and you put that uh stupid name tag on all the bullets shot by steve you just got Steve'd. And this final one is written in from Lauren P. I'm an English teacher, and today the class was doing a worksheet where they had to add punctuation to sentences that had none. The correct answer

for one of the questions was, I enjoyed, quote, Old Man and the Sea, unquote, Dracula, unquote, and quote, Hamlet, unquote. So quotes around the three things you enjoyed. However, while I was correcting, I found the following response. I enjoyed Old Man and the Sea, Dracula, and Hamlet. Old Man and the Sea, Dracula, is the best name for a book

that has never been written yeah it's like Pride and Prejudice and Zombies Old Man and the Sea Dracula first of all Sea Dracula sure terrifying super spooky and an old man who fights them

yeah and probably always compares himself to Joe DiMaggio isn't that what happens in the book I don't know I've only heard about Yeah, and probably always compares himself to Joe DiMaggio. Isn't that what happens in the book? I don't know. I've only heard about... Old Man and the Sea, where he compares himself to Joe DiMaggio? Joe DiMaggio. Well, no.

He's this old man, and he's chasing a... He's in a sea. A giant... Not shark, but he's hooked up to a big giant fish that keeps pulling him around for days. Are you thinking of Moby Dick? No, he's thinking about... Old Man and the Sea is, yeah, he's trying to lure in, like he's caught a big fish

and he's trying to get it in the boat but he's, yeah. Right. He's like, wow, it must be tough to be Joe DiMaggio and have like a bone spur in your ankle. Oh! Meanwhile, it's really tough to be an old man in the sea yeah and also imagine that you're fighting a sea dracula for days uh-huh and then he's thinking about

how joe dimaggio uh a bone spur and then how that's when it clicks in his head that he's like, I need some sort of spur or stake to get rid of this sea Dracula. Also, Joe DiMaggio is a Dracula. Yeah, that's the big reveal at the end of the book. That's who the sea Dracula is, is Joe DiMaggio. Is actually Joe DiMaggio. Yeah. And Ernest Hemingway wrote that. It's a Stoker-Hemingway joint.

But I honestly like, now I want to write Old Man and the Sea Dracula. I want to have it read to me. Or made into a movie. Yeah. Either or would be great. But if any listeners have any further thoughts on Old Man and the Sea Dracula, cover art, plot points.

What is the Sea Dracula? What is the Sea Dracula? Who in the movie adaptation of Old Man and the Sea Dracula, who would play the old man? Who would play the Sea Dracula? Who would play Joe DiMaggio? Oh, that would be done with CG? Who would play Joe DiMaggio? Oh, that would be done with CG and old clips of Joe DiMaggio worked into the current film.

I imagine. Although Harrison Ford also in the running. He's a little old. Huh? He's a little old. We're talking about Joe DiMaggio as the sea Dracula. What? I was this close to saying sure, but what?

We got some overheards from our telephones listeners. If people want to write in an overheard, the email address is stoppodcastingyourselfatgmail.com. Or if you'd like to call us, the phone number is 206-339-8328. Hello, Dave and Graham and whoever else is there. I haven't overheard. I'm Chantel from Fort St. John, B.C. I was talking on the phone with my friend in Vancouver and I was just telling her about this book that I read. And she said,

That sounds like a good book. Ew, what the fuck is in my purse? Ew, it's a piece of chicken. Is that a crouton? Oh my God, it's a piece of chicken. Gross. That's what happens when your friends dine and dash and also take a bit of the chicken caesar on the way clearly

a caesar and the book for anybody who's listening that she's reading is old man in the sea dracula next call uh hi graham and dave uh this is tyler from california just a quick one i was at a high school you know and And There was these two girls Walking by each other And all I really heard was Ew Why would you kiss The guy you fuck

Oh Ouch The OC Am I right Yeah He sounds like the janitor At the high school Or something

He sounds a little To be at high school I like that he said I was at a high school You know I was beating up my principal I was at a high school. You know. I was beating up my principal. I was going back for revenge. Yeah.

Why would you kiss? Yeah, because that's the old prostitute rule. Never kiss because you'll fall in love. Pretty woman. Also, don't kiss a prostitute. That's my rule. Even if I'm not patronizing her. What if it's at a wedding where a prostitute's finally gotten out of the business and everybody's going to kiss the bride?

That's a thing, right? Yeah, sure. As long as it's on my bride. Then do you kiss a prostitute? No, you have to do it on the lips, otherwise the marriage isn't going to last. Everybody knows it. When do you not kiss a prostitute? Every other time.

Christmas morning. Sure. Or for our Jewish listeners, Hanukkah's Eve. All Hanukkah's Eve. Hey, Dave and Graham. I have an ogre herd from walking to a mall. I was listening to my headphones, and this actually was out of the music I was listening to. These two girls were talking to each other

across the hall. I guess they both worked in separate stores, but they didn't want to go up to each other. Part of the conversation I heard was one of the girls was saying, I do massages for money. I didn't go to school for it, but I know how to do them. Oh!

So she's like the massage equivalent of a gypsy cab Sure, yeah How are we going to be able to drive people around? And there's like posters everywhere like Don't accept unofficial massages from a gypsy masseuse But I give massages for money Like how do you get the word out about that?

Well, first of all, you don't kiss a masseuse on the back. No, never. Never. You don't kiss them through the little hole in the table. Those holes, they hurt your face so much. Do they? Yeah. Have you had a massage?

I was at physio this week, and you had to put your face in the hole. I think. Well, also, I was being hazed by a frat that I wanted to get into. Also, that was a midway game. Put your face in the hole. Have you been, have you, what's the store in the mall that gives massages? Sage, is that it? What?

There's a store, it's like an aromatherapy store, and outside they have a little massage. It's not a table where you lay down and put your face through a hole. It's a chair where you just sort of lean forward like Slater. Oh, you're talking about a glory hole. Yeah, sure. And then what comes through the other side? I was talking about gypsy cabs. Has anybody here seen, speaking of gypsies, Drag Me to Hell?

Oh, Old Man and the Sea Drag Me to Hell? Old Man and the Sea, Drag Me to Hell? Yes, I have. Did you enjoy it? I think so. I thought it was so great. I just jumped into my head. A lot of good scares in it. So many! That's a must-see. Watch it with your 10-year-old. She'll learn a lot.

Scary movie? Nothing better to watch with 10-year-olds. Or the movie Scary Movie with the wayans brothers sure and young anna faris anna faris hey graham and dave and maybe guest um this is travis from charlotte i haven't overheard does it work today and i was walking down a line of cubicles and i heard this guy say so is that offensive and this girl replied oh yeah my mom would think it's very offensive she is straight up mexican so i have no idea what that means first of all delightful accent yeah all the way across where was was that from? Charlotte.

That was neat. Yeah, that is a nice, that is a smooth accent. That's one of your finer Carolinas. Yeah, that's the type of accent you could light a cigarette with. Yeah, sure. If you were a fat guy, you would be dabbing yourself with a... Yeah. I could go where he's at and women would pass out from the vapor.

You should go there. Charlotte, North Carolina. That's my town. That is your town. Larry Johnson's grandmama. Maybe I could make money doing comedy there. What's in Charlotte, North Carolina? Charlotte Hornets?

Not anymore. Didn't they move? Where do they live? Charlotte Town P.E.I.? Maybe I could wear their jerseys then. If they're a defunct sports team. Yeah, I think they're defunct. Or they've moved.

But also turquoise. Lots of turquoise. They had pinstripes. One of the few basketball teams with pinstripes. Yeah. See that? There you go. That following on your Hartford Whaler, one of the few teams wearing long pants.

One of the few teams wearing pinstripes. Orlando Magic. magic yeah that's the other basketball you're not gonna you're not gonna thrive in orlando that's not your type of no charlotte north carolina that's you where the southern women good south yeah oh florida seems like the horrible south uh yeah like people who are from Florida but still Southern? Is that where the Golden Girls took place, right? Was it in Florida? Yeah.

That, to me, was always my picture of what Florida is like, is the Golden Girls. Well, thank you for being a friend. Hey, guys. This is Lorne calling from St. John's with an overheard. It happened a few years ago when part of my job was to organize a summer camp for scholarship kids, mostly 14 and 15-year-olds. It was late one night, and I was doing some rounds, and I stopped by a room where there was 10 or so kids and a few counselors up talking. And everybody continued chatting for a few minutes when there was a sudden pause in the conversation. Some people call it a seven-minute pause,

or they say it's because a ghost just walked into a room or something. Anyway, it happened. And when it did, one of the girls spoke up. You shouldn't let that happen. Every time there's a pause in the conversation, a gay baby is born. What? After some silence, one of the counselors spoke up and said, you shouldn't say that, that's horrible

and the girl responded what? it's not like they can help it so that's my overheard thanks guys can't help it have you ever heard anything about there being a pause in the conversation and it being a ghost or a gay baby being born

so every time there's a pause in the conversation it creates a gay baby being born so every time there's a pause in the conversation it creates a gay baby yeah i must create a lot of gay babies they're a gay baby that's good i'm like the number one gay baby creator in north america so you know what you should really get one of those shirts printed up in the mall number one gay baby creator. You can get those mugs right next to the world's greatest grandpa. It's like a whole philosophy I have that I could try to explain to extreme right

zealots is that I create gay babies by stopping conversations. Yeah, by being awkward in conversation. It's great. Horrible. But great. Oh, yeah, right, but horrible. Is that... I wonder i i have do it dave do it well here's the thing rockapella i color-coded a bunch of uh these overheards

uh-huh i see green and orange i played all the green ones green green yeah i'm guessing i don't know what orange and red are for well Well, orange is for slow it down. Okay, we'll play one orange. Hey, Dave and Graham. This is Adam from Toronto. I've got two things here. First, I'm an overheard from First University. I'm kind of new to the show, so I'm a little late getting this on. Anyway, I was living with my best friend at the time,

and he was kind of a snorer, and one night he was snoring kind of loud, and he woke me up, and yeah, basically he then proceeded to shout at the top of his lungs, while sleeping, mind you, but at the top of his lungs, sweet Jesus, I can't take it anymore, and then proceeded to continue to snore.

So I don't know what he was dreaming about or if he was echoing my sentiments about his snoring, but it was pretty great. The other thing I want... Okay, okay. Zing. The other thing is... Now I remember why I'm putting this.

This is why you went on Orange? Yeah. Do you remember the commercials during the Olympics for Ontario? Oh, yeah, yeah yeah yeah they were terrible okay that's what he talks about i believe just a couple weeks ago you were talking about the uh the ontario it's great to be here commercial um featuring the rapper guy um well a friend of mine from high school is actually engaged to said rapper guy. And he's in a new funk band called God Made Me Funky. They're from Toronto. They're actually pretty great.

And you should probably go check them out on MySpace or something. They're actually really, really fun and awesome live. Okay. And I don't know why I'm pimping them because I don't get any much. Oh, you got a pimp? My God Made me fun. Yeah, here's my question. Who is the best funk band on Myspace?

Have they done this contest yet? There's just so many, I think, right now. Myspace is such a lively website. The way I like to enjoy funk music is five songs at a time.

Yeah. That you can't turn off. Yeah. Yeah. From funk bands on MySpace. Now, that reminds me, and I didn't want to do the bit because I forgot to bring it with me, but a listener, and I can't remember the name of the gal who sent it in uh but actually uh wrote to us and asked for um an address and i gave her my address and she sent us the cd of that band inward eye oh oh the band from the closing ceremony yeah yeah so just to

just she said that she won it in a prize pack. Yeah. And so when she heard us talking about it, but I'll bring it because there's a letter attached to it, and I'll bring it next week. And thank you for sending that in. But it all of a sudden made me remember that. So they're a real band, and I have their CD at my house. And so is Funk Town.

Funk me Jesus? Yeah. Funk me Funky Jesus. Yeah. Funk me Jesus? Funk me Funky Jesus. Funk kick me Jesus. Let's wrap this guy up. Oh, well, okay. One last bit of business from last week. Because I put it out there, because we had an email from a lady named Fran who said that she supposed that she was our oldest or eldest listener at 61 years old. What's the difference between oldest and eldest?

Wisdom. Okay. But we got an email a few days ago from a gentleman named Bruce who wrote, I'm 63, so suck it, Fran. Which leads me to believe that he's not actually 63. I don't think 63-year-olds use suck it. Suck it. Unless they're big fans of WWF. Yeah, Triple H.

It is something that I think at this point you need to verify as far as proper identification. Yeah. So, Bruce, please send in your social insurance number. Yes. Or a certificate. And a return stamped envelope. We'll send you a hat. Yeah.

And a Swiss bank account. Can you send someone a bank account? Oh, and the lady who sent us the inward icds her name is carly oh thanks carly hi carly um so yeah if you want to write to us uh it is stop podcast yourself at gmail.com and uh for god's sakes you got to send in some ideas for Old Man and the Sea Dracula. And, Mike, if people want to find you online, where's the best place? Where can they locate you? They could email me. That would be nice for a random email.

Okay, what is Mike Thomas' email address? It's comicmikethomas at yahoo.ca. There you go. So you want to write Mike Thomas an email I want a letter too You're at internet land right? Yeah I believe so Facebook and MySpace

Just type Mike Thomas What's the name of your funk band on MySpace? It's the Funky Funny Ones They're pretty good They're pretty good But compared to the other bands There has been a real renaissance in funk on MySpace

and so you know it's hard to compete we try our best we have a pretty good bass it's not the best he's no Bootsy Collins no you don't really need a lot of bass in funk music.

Yeah. I find it's kind of overrated. Not much. Well, that was our problem initially. We had a lot of treble. And then we found out that treble isn't as popular in funk as we first thought. It's more bass. Yeah.

Get rid of the floutist. Live and learn. Yeah. Dave, do we have anything we need to plug? You might. Yeah. Actually, I am doing a show on April 16th at the Royal Canadian Legion on Commercial Drive. And it's called Last of the Legion for the Homeless.

It is a fundraiser that goes towards a local homeless organization. And you can buy tickets in advance at Echo Vintage on Main Street. Or they say you can buy them through Patrick Maliha online, but I don't understand that. If you're in Vancouver and you want to help out the homeless, it's $15. And laugh your way. Laugh your way. Laugh your way into heaven. Laugh at homeless people.

But it's a good lineup. That's the point of the show. For $15. $15 you get. The homeless people, if you paid them $15, they'd let you laugh at them. Yeah. Oh, sure. And for an extra dollar, laugh with them. I do it for free.

Oh, ouch. But the lineup is good. It's Paul Breaux, Jane Stanton, Darcy Michael, myself, and Patrick Maliha, and also a local gentleman by the name of Carter Horty are all on the show. So that is, like I said, at the Legion Hall on Commercial Drive,

April 16th, 7pm. And yeah, you can get tickets at Echo Vintage Club. And also, I'm still kind of hoping that this Facebook group of Bring Paul F. Tompkins to Vancouver... Oh yeah, sure.

We're not even halfway. No, we're halfway now. Oh, we're halfway? Still, that's pretty weak, Vancouver. Get your shit together. Yeah. For a city that sold out immediately for two back-to-back Conan O'Brien shows, there's enough people that like comedy, I would say. I think people mostly like red hair.

Oh, yeah. Well, then let's bring... Ron Howard to town? Let's start the bring Ron Howard debate. I was going to say David Caruso, but Ron Howard's good, too. Yeah, so thank you very much. Dave, do you have anything to? Nope.

All right. Well, then, yeah. Thank you very much to our guest, Mike Thomas. If you do want to reach us, it's stoppodcastyourself at gmail.com or phone us at 206-339-8328. Do you want to say anything else? Do I want to say anything else? No, you're good. He's done.

He's good. I'm good. Thank you guys for having me. Our pleasure. And I hope wherever this goes out to the people Internet land. Internet land. Yeah.

Enjoy this. Yeah. Mostly Southern mostly Southern Americans. But thank you very much everybody for listening and tell all your friends if you enjoyed it

and come on back next week for what I'm sure will be another enlightening episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself.