Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 109 - Jordan Morris and Chris Fairbanks

Episode Date: April 13, 2010

Comedians Jordan Morris and Chris Fairbanks join us to talk about wrestling, Regis, and Jim Carrey's early years.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 109 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and joining me as always is a man for whom tucking in his shirt is not just a matter of policy but a religion. Mr. Dave Shumka. Thank you. It's a funny religion.

Snake handler. Scientuckers. Sorry, you haven't introduced me yet, but snake handler. Do your little intro, I'll talk later. I was going to go with Scientuckagist. The voice of the snake handler

gentleman is Jordan Morris. Hi, just to clarify, I'm not actually a snake handler. Oh, you're not? No, no, I'm not. When you said I need an example of a funny religion, I thought of that. Oh, so not snake handler. Oh, you're not? No, no, I'm not. When you said, I need an example of a funny religion, I thought of that. Oh, so not snake handler. No, I'm not.

But podcast co-host. Yes. Television personality. Sure, all that. Sketch comedian? Yeah. Mr. Jordan Morris, thank you for joining us.

Thank you. It's good to be here. And also joining us here on the podcast, also television personality, stand-up comedian, sketch comedian as well. No, Jordan has had me do a couple, but I'm not that sketchy. And

regular guest, semi-regular guest on Never Not Funny. How about that? I am, yep. I've done that. But very funny individual indeed, Mr. Chris Fairbanks is here. Yay, thanks. Thank you for joining us. Yeah, it's an embarrassment of riches. Yeah, this is for joining us. Yeah, it's an embarrassment of riches. Yeah, this is almost too good.

One of you leave. Let's get to this. Can I volunteer myself for you? Would you guys be okay with me leaving? There's a Cake Boss Marathon in the other room. Da! Want to get to know us? I do. Get to know us.

You guys, I just realized Jordan was kind of drunk. I didn't know until you made that sound. No, I can make that sound sober. Oh, you're so different when you drink. Yeah. Enjoyable. Just to preface, just to let the audience know what they're getting into. We had a few drinks with dinner, and now we're having another one.

Yeah, and probably another one after that. Yeah, sure. I don't think it's a virtue. It's a sign I have a problem, but I can have many drinks, and I act the same. I don't suddenly become an unpredictable screeching goof. Is that what you're talking about? I act out in violence occasionally, yeah. I want to learn more about this shoving policy.

Occasionally, yeah. I want to learn more about this shoving policy. No, you know, this is something I've been noticing a lot lately with myself, is I turn into such a boob when I drink. A boob? Like a Mr. Furley? I think, like, in college it was charming, but I've kept up this same policy. Oh, it was absolutely charming. You know, ladies, when you find out you're married to a boob

and you keep making excuses like you fell down the stairs, that kind of boob. Yeah, a real punchy boob. But no, for a man that's in his late 20s, I feel like I act a little too ridiculous when I drink, but I don't know how to deal with it. Well, not drinking is one of the options. That's one of the choices. What if you're drunk that's true then you're more like arthur sure exactly all right wait how delightful of a boob are we talking oh i'm gonna go ahead i'm gonna interrupt now because i started this okay i think

he's totally delightful oh that's all right but just don't stand if there's like a grassy hill and you're both on it he will sweep your leg and make you slide down it. I like a little male-male rasslin'. So we're talking grass stains on the pants. Last time we were in Vancouver, I had many a grass stain. I have a feeling my shirt's going to become untucked. Oh, I like that. You'll still be a member of the Church of Scientology.

Scientology. Tuckatology of Scientology Scientology Scientology Scientology? Which one is it? Snark Handlers? Tuck Handlers We love a good pun You gentlemen, for any of our listeners that don't know you're both residents of the

great United States of America and you're up here uh for an unveiling oh not an unveiling but a you for your television gig that you're both a part of yes uh covering a video game to be released i guess yeah we both uh we both uh we both uh host on fuel tv which i don't know if you get it in Canada. I tried to look up. Australia gets it, and certain satellites will pick up. I know Portugal gets it because I got to meet the man who dubs my voice into Portuguese. Oh, wow.

Really? Yeah. I think you probably have one, too, Chris. Oh, that'd be terrific. Anyways. That they go to every time? Like, he works exactly as much as I do? I don't know if he's just...

The show we work for is broadcast... It's called The Daily Habit. Yes, it's called The Daily Habit. It's broadcast in Portugal. There is a guy who dubs my voice every time I'm on screen. I don't know if he does all the field correspondence or just me.

He might be Portugal's Hank Azaria. Yeah, he might be. You should do your whole demo reel with him doing your voice. This is my thing I do. Sure. Anyways, but we work for Fuel Tea, which in America is the Action

Sports Network. You're skateboarding, you're snowboarding, you're blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. They are making a skateboarding video game up here in Vancouver. part of the Skate franchise. The trilogy. Yeah, it's a trilogy now. It was originally meant as a trilogy. Yeah, yeah.

It was envisioned as a trilogy. There will be a prequel at some point. Yeah, sure. We'll find out. A prequel of the game where you ride around on a skateboard with no discernible goal. It's all 8-bit. You'll see yourself as a child. Yes.

And your tragic story will. And you're a tragic story. And you'll learn how you got your shorts. We are here doing a story on that. Now, my question about this video game, have they come out with long boards yet? In video game form.

Just for getting around. Sure. Oh, like you just decide to go to the store? Yeah. Well, only if you create your avatar as a white guy with dreadlocks. Sure. Do you get the long skateboard? No, I think it's all standard size skateboards. Yeah. It's all flip tricks.

Any razor scooters? No. No razor scooters. That would be frowned upon. There are no rollerblades. There are no kite boards. And there are no... There's no ultimate Frisbee mini game.

I'm just going to go ahead and field all your questions. Well, what kind of game is this then? Not a very good one apparently. There's not a Frolf option. Frolf? Yeah, frisbee golf. Disc golf. Oh, I just thought Frolf. Did I add an R?

Yeah, Frolf. I don't know. I thought it was Frolf. That's when you're throwing frogs in the baskets in a park. You guys ever play froth? Yeah, it's Canada's second possible national sport. Cross and then froth. The one you're talking about. The frog one. There's hockey in there.

It seems like hockey's pretty high up. Is it below frog golf? It's on the $5 bill. It just says the word hockey. Along with a quote that says, from an old prime minister, I spent all of my years of my youth in church, in school, and on the ice. And it was the years on the ice that mattered or something like that. That's what we say at the bar.

We say, give me five hockeys. Haven't they shortened it to just fuck church? It's an illustration of God sucking your dick. What kind of a show is this? Is it okay to say things like that? It's a blasphemous show. Oh, okay, good. You inferred that that was a prime minister.

It was just a writer. Yeah, it was just a writer. A famous Canadian story. How'd he get on the dollar bill? Five. No, never mind. How many get on the dollar bill? Five.

No, never mind. See, that's the difference in the Canadian and American currency, is that you guys have a uniform color and kind of system at work, and we just go all crazy with different colors. Yeah, we got some red, some brown. Throw a little orange in there. Don't forget a maple leaf that will shove down your throat. It looks really good on a Thanksgiving platter. Look, we got a logo. McDonald's, forget a maple leaf that will shove down your throat. It looks really good on a Thanksgiving Look, we got a logo. McDonald's? Bam! Maple leaf. Gas station?

Bam! Little maple leaf. Look, is that an apostrophe S? No, it's maple leaf S. Why do we put it on there? No reason. Remind you where you're at, because you live there. But that's what, we have systems in place

where as we get Sports Illustrated, the Canadian edition, which is just the American edition with a few thrown in Canadian... Illustrated dotted with a maple leaf. I'm not incorrect in that, right? The Sports Illustrated Canada is very...

No, sometimes I think they have different covers. So in the swimsuit issue, you have your typical swimsuit models and then a girl in a sensible peacoat. Yeah. With an umbrella. Because the issue comes out in February. Who's thinking about the speeches?

But she's cute and has a little nose ring. Yeah. She's politically active. She has her own blog. She knits. In like a funny, ironic way. Yeah, she's in a band, but they don't take it too seriously. Yeah, they just play

friends parties. She plays the tambourine in the recorder. I was going to say zither, but I'm like, that's probably pretty hard to play. Just say froth again. Hey guys, froth. She plays the froth tube. I'm in a froth again. Hey guys, froth! She placed a froth tube. I'm in a froth thing.

A froth tube. So, yes. Well, thank you very much for being here. Are you freezing? I'm actually a little warm. I was actually thinking about taking off one of my layers. Oh, is this part of the drunk boobery?

Yeah, it's... So you're going to show of the drunk boobery? Oh, yeah. So you're going to show us your drunk boobery. Yes, I'm going to show you my drunk boobs. I've been cold the whole time, sure. He didn't even pack a jacket. No, I'm actually... Oh, currently, while we're out and about, I'm wearing Chris's jacket. Oh, that's kind of like a date night thing.

Where you're kind of like, Hey, take my jacket. Well, after I laid it in front of him so he could cross a puddle. Yeah, yeah. It was the next natural evolution was to put it on. You forgot about when we shared a malt. And it will save him from being tied to the train tracks later if things go right. Oh, boy.

God, you have a mean landlord. I was trying to take my farm away in the rain. So, Jordan, you've been up to Canada before. Yes. We were discussing before. Yeah, it's my third trip to Canada. Chris, have you been up to Canada before? I've been up here, I'm going to say, 15 times.

Oh, so you're practically Canadian. I grew up in Montana, so... Where in Montana? I used to see a girl in the Waterton Park Lethbridge area. Which is just south of where I grew up. What's the area called? There's a bar called the Thirsty Bear. And if any of you remember the mid-90s, I was the dance champion.

Is that true? At the Thirsty Bear. Yeah, two years. I drove up for the second year. I didn't make it. But she rode horses. She mounted. For novelty's sake, not a legitimate.

But in the national park, she rode a horse. She was a cute young girl. Yeah. As I recall. And she was young. And then I go to Calgary a lot. They have a festival. That's where I'm from.

Yeah, okay. What festival? Funny Fest with Stu Hughes. Yes. Yeah, of course. How many years ago was that? I've been going there since 2001, 2002. Oh, it's interesting.

Whenever it started, I went that first year. Yeah, yeah. I've skipped a couple years, but I've been there. Wow. So, yeah. So, you know your way around. You know the lay of the land. I know a few Canadian comics, yeah. Nice!

Yeah, I was... Dave was saying, I knew that I recognized your name, and so I watched a lot of stand-up clips on YouTube and stuff today. It was very, very funny stuff. Oh, thank you. Thanks. The Boner with the sweet tooth was a particular favorite line.

That doesn't really do well with the... You know what? The crowds are wrong. Up here, I bet you it would kill... Wait, so someone want to... I don't know the joke. Could someone relate it? You can just tell. We'll just set you up for material like we were on... Did we not tell you that's what this...

Let's laugh like he just came up. So, hey, Chris, I hear you had a funny run in with a boner recently. That's a perfect set up to this joke. I don't know how

funny it was. Let's just say I'm not gay. It's just my penis has a bit of a sweet tooth. OK, I don't see it.

Yeah, that's it. I'm not gay. It's just my boner has a bit of a sweet tooth. OK, that's funny. That's a really. It's just my boner has a bit of a sweet tooth. That's funny. That's a really funny joke. A lot of people aren't visual. You have to imagine a penis with a tooth at the end

with an apple in its mouth. Oh! I'm imagining it, and I get it now. Okay, thank you. I like it. Terrific. I think I don't get it anymore. I think I got it before the apple on its tooth. Now I'm confused. I think I told it wrong. I don't usually tell it. Terrific. I think I don't get it anymore. I think I got it before the apple on its teeth.

I think I told it wrong. I don't usually tell it. I told a different version. Oh, really? So that's like a one-time only podcast exclusive. So we should really start the podcast. It's so weird with four voices. It's a little overwhelming, guys.

Are you guys overwhelmed? I'm actually a little underwhelmed. Sorry to drop the bomb. But this is not going as I would have hoped. Sober Jordan would not say that. I'm just being a jerk now. How many beers are you in, Jordan?

Oh, no. Two. Yeah, here's the embarrassing part. Not a lot. At the restaurant, they had a special on double gin and tonics. So each had one. I think they were called... They had a cute name for them.

I saw it on the bulletin board. I think they went with gin and tonic on that. Dub gin tons. No, it was called like super gin. I don't know. Something like that. Oh, gin gin ton ton. Yeah, yeah.

It was gin gin ton ton. Straw straw cup cup. And then we had a Oh, gin, gin, ton, ton. Yeah, yeah. It was gin, gin, ton, ton. Straw, straw, cup, cup. And then we had a beer and then I just had this one. So, yeah. No. Like, I haven't. I don't know. I'm just acting like an idiot.

Let's say four drinks. It's four drinks. Yeah. It's just fresh Canadian air. Yeah. Oh, and altitude. Sure. Sea level.

Sea level. But you were talking on your podcast. you do Jordan, Jesse, a few episodes ago about drinking in the middle of the day. Yes. And how that, because we would usually, not usually, but often we record this in the middle of the day. And by 5 p.m., Dave and I are loaded. And then what do you do? Yeah, you wear it well. I go home and I have to nap for an hour.

Sure. Because what do you do? What do you do if it's 5 p.m. and you've still got the whole night ahead of you and you're already semi-hammered? Yeah, I never feel good anymore if I'm at the pinnacle of drunkenness and the sun's going down. It depresses me a little. cold drunkenness and the sun's going down i always it depresses me a little yeah like unless there's a campfire there in which case you know you know that things are gonna keep rolling and get crazy again but yeah so i guess you the key is to seek out a campfire yeah yeah four star fire that's how fire bugs are bored um yeah you know i i we were talking about on the podcast i drank

in the middle of the day and then was just wrecked for the rest of the day, including the podcast, which I just made no sense on. And some listeners called in with a bunch of tips, and it was my goal to try it again, to have another midday drink session and implement some of the tips. A sesh? Haven't had a chance. No, not a sesh. God damn it. No, it was a sesh. You're right. I lashed out too quickly.

Yeah, but I haven't had a chance to implement them. So yeah, I still don't. Now's your chance. I guess we started a little late in the afternoon. Yeah, this was kind of an early evening drinking. Anyway. Well, you're doing all right.

I don't know. I wouldn't be able to tell. Maybe I hang out with a rowdier, drunk style of drunk. Yeah, you do. Yeah. Because this doesn't seem like boobery at all. Oh, I'm such a boob right now. This is way more boober time.

How professional are you in your real life, then, is, I guess, my real question. Yeah, you could probably go through life as a drunk. During the day, it's very cordial and well- i always spoken i always have a pie chart and a portfolio pardon me ma'am but i you start a lot of sentences with pardon me ma'am but comma yes but i don't think you should say comma anymore it sounds really potential should i say semicolon? Yes. Just say colon. Pardon me, ma'am. Colon. But colon. Pardon me, ma'am. But colon. So yeah, I'm a little rowdy.

Fair enough. Settle down. Everybody settle down. I don't mean it. We don't. I don't know. I was telling Dave on the way over, because we just recorded a podcast two days ago, so not a ton of stuff has transpired between then and now, but one fantastic thing happened

to me last night when I was, I had been drinking, because it was Easter dinner at Dave's house. Sure. We had Easter dinner here, which was great. The social event of the season. Yeah. Easter dinner at Dave's house. Everybody here knows it. That's when you get loaded.

And, uh... What's the traditional Easter dinner drink? Oh. Brewskies. We drink beer. What would be? A port, maybe? Yeah, I mean, I guess I think of, like, oh, like, Christmas dinner, you have eggnog. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What would you... Oh, uh, you break open a bunch of Cadbury cream eggs and

blend it with gin. What a horrible concoction. I hate that egg. I always have. How do you feel about the Cadbury caramel? Well, here's the thing about me. I don't have much of a sweet tooth. My penis does. But hold on, Chris. Does your boner have a different opinion?

My boner? I just stick a straw in it. What are we talking about? I don't normally sell. Hey, you're gay. Different opinion? My boner, I just stick a straw in it. What are we talking about? I'm horribly self. Hey, you're gay. Well, nuts. Do you guys have the Cadbury caramel leg up here? I believe so. Yeah, we do, I think.

I think I've had it. I don't have much of a sweet tooth, as has been said before. But I'm looking at you, you currently have a boner. It's got an apple in its lips, not its teeth. Dick lips. The mini eggs I'm a fan of. The candy coated. It's like a malt ball.

It's like a chocolate. It's not unlike a malt ball. Yes. But it's not exact. I wouldn't give it to somebody and say enjoy your malt. It's like a d malt ball But it's not exact I wouldn't give it to somebody And say enjoy your malt With chocolate in it You guys do not have mini eggs?

Oh man this is Bridging the cultural divide Oh I'm just still I'm in shock that I didn't know you guys celebrated Easter Well In the National Church of Canada, every Easter, a hockey player blows Jesus. What was the joke before? A rabbit with antlers on.

It's called a jackalope. Holds hands with the recently risen zombie Jesus. Dave Coulier officiates doing his jackalope voice made famous on American TV as people. What a great piece of early comedy. That jackalope voice. Thank you, Coulier. It totally made sense. He was at Montreal Just for Laughs

in 2003, leaving a crowd utterly silent. No, is that... He did stand-up and he did that voice. It was a grown-up show. You're talking about Jack Ching Ba Da Bing? I don't know what he did, but it left the room speechless.

Okay. I want to hear the rest of this. Maybe there's not a rest of this. We should... I feel like we should kind of reset on the show America's Funniest People. Yeah. Which this show, America's Funniest People. Yeah. Which came on after America's Funniest Home Videos.

Hosted originally by Dave Coulier and a sober Tawny Katane. Oh. Oh, wow. There was a recurring bit where a stuffed jackalope would cause trouble. And a jackalope is a rabbit with antelope. Yes. Anyways, and Dave Coulier a rabbit with antelope. Yes. Anyways, and Dave Coulier did a crazy squeaky voice for this, but you say he, in 2003, decided to stoke everybody out.

He thought he'd... These kids are around late 20s. I think they'll remember this. And wow, it was not well received. And I've never seen a more disappointed semi-famous dude in my life. But that's funny that they came to see Dave Coulier, but for some reason they're like, well, I wanted to hear Cut It Out. I didn't want to hear the Jackalope voice.

That was not a Full House reference. Yeah. Yeah, they were upset. The America's Funniest People, the weird thing, like, because I haven't seen it in years. I saw it maybe like two years ago. They replayed it at three o'clock in the morning. And there was a weird thing, because sometimes I guess

comedians would send in bits of theirs and they'd just be standing at like... I saw Karen Kilgariff on there once. Yeah, and Rachel Dratch was on the one I saw. And she was doing a back and forth bit with some other comic that I don't know. Like a young Rachel Dratch. And they were clearly at Epcot Center.

Like that's where they were recording this thing. And I was like, oh, maybe this was a thing back in the day that you could like springboard a... Yeah, the Star Charge thing. But I've never heard that story before, but, like, because Rachel Dratch, I kind of consider her, like, a very genius performer. Sure, she's great. It kind of seems like it was two worlds colliding

that I didn't think would ever exist in the same realm. Would you argue that she's one of America's funniest people? Oh, yes, I would. Would you say that maybe she's made a few of America's funniest home videos? Yeah, I would. Would you say that maybe she's made a few of America's Funniest Home Videos? Yeah, I would argue that. America's Next Top Model? Never mind. America's Most Wanted.

Cops. Hey, guys, cops. Before I started doing stand-up, to get my brain, I used to send in this video of me jumping on a trampoline with my kitten. It just hit me in the nuts claws first. I had to actually start getting on stage.

You sent it to all the major networks. You sent it to Letterman. He gets me right in the nuts. But you called it your pilot. You're like, I'm sending them my pilot for a TV show. What do you mean it couldn't be episodic? There's different animals. Me and a trampoline and a pet.

How hard is it? So the key to that was you and a trampoline. It wasn't you and the cat. It wasn't you and the cat in different scenarios. It doesn't matter what it was. Could you have a tramp with a bouncy tassel? The trampoline was the heart. The trampoline was the sidekick.

The trampoline was the heart. The trampoline was the sidekick. The trampoline was Central Perk. Yeah, sure. The Elton Castle was Joey's apartment. But speaking of things past, this was last night. For some reason, I wanted to see an old advertisement that

featured Macho Man snapping into a Slim Jim. So I went on YouTube and just typed in Macho Man Slim Jim and watched all that featured Macho Man snapping into a Slim Jim. So I went on YouTube and just typed in Macho Man Slim Jim and watched all of the Macho Man snap into a Slim Jim commercials. How many were there? There was four different ones, and then there was an Ultimate Warrior one. So I clicked on that because I do not remember Ultimate Warrior. Do you remember that?

No, no, I don't. No, that's surprising to me. When you say to me, Ultimate Warrior did a snap into a Slim Jim commercial, I'm saying you're a fucking liar until I see the proof. I would also call me a liar, but it is there, and that led me to

an hour and a half long documentary called The Self-Destruction of the Ultimate Warrior. It's great. Have you seen it? Oh yeah, I've seen it. I watched the whole thing in ten minute chunks, but man, oh man, was it great. It's great. Have you seen it? Oh yeah, I've seen it. I watched the whole thing in 10 minute chunks, but man, oh man, was it great. It just covers where he came from, how

he pissed everybody in the wrestling world off, and then how he exited it. And then, so like, I watched that. Now it's like 2 in the morning. And I've been watching nothing but wrestling clips on YouTube. And then I see there's a clip of The Ultimate Warrior on Regis and Kathie Lee.

Wow. Yeah. Yeah, that's kind of the weird YouTube Mobius trip is that there's that segment of recommendations based on what you're watching, and that's the thing that destroys your evenings. Yes. Yes. that's the thing that destroys your evenings yes yes because i was already like it already knew that i wanted more ultimate warrior based on my track record of watching 12 videos in a row so then it just says hey faggot take a look at this hey loser it's it's homophobic oh youtube's homophobic oh youtube's homophobic. I didn't know you people knew that. By you people, you mean gays. Yeah, you people.

And blacks. But yeah, so then Ultimate Warrior was on Regis and Kathy Lee. And he was very, like, he was extremely cordial. Wait, okay, was he wearing a suit and tie? No. Was he wearing just his he wearing a suit and tie? No. Was he wearing just his wrestling briefs and his mask? Yes. And he was sitting on the stool.

Remember they used to just have stools and no table? So he came out and sat on the stool, and he brought a stuffed Ultimate Warrior for Kathie Lee's kid, Cody. And he was very gentlemanly. And then Regis kept egging him on to do something crazy. Like, he's like, come on, when are you going to explode? And so then Ultimate Warrior ruined their set. Like, he threw around all the furniture on the set.

Wow. Yeah. You want to see me explode? I'm going to crush this fake window. And you'll know. Run the cleansing rain. Yeah. Oh, that's terrific.

Yeah. And then he sat back down at the stool. Well, they don't call him Penultimate Warrior. That's true. And then I watched Undertaker on Regis and Kathie Lee. Then I started a whole other. They had a lot of wrestlers on back in the day Did you know a bunch of pro wrestlers From that day are doing stand up now

No Yeah and he's not bad He just drinks tons of Red Bulls And he tells stories I don't know if he has a writer But some of them are pretty good There's another one and I don't know his name King Kong Bund, but some of them are pretty good. And there's another one, and I don't know his name. King Kong Bundy did it for a while.

I remember that. Tim, I would only know. He goes by his real name. I'm afraid to name anyone, because half of them are dead. Oh, yeah, that's true. I was in San Francisco a couple days ago for WonderCon, the comic convention. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I saw the Honky Tonk Man signing autographs.

Doesn't he live here? He does. He lives up here and he runs a wrestling school just south of here. No, really? There you go. Learn from the best. Yeah, I got to meet him. That's what it is. Learn from the best? Question mark? That's on his business card.

I couldn't tell you. I'm not sure A, if you're going to learn, or B, if I'm the best. So I'm going to put a Western mark on there. You told a story about once seeing him wrestle. Yeah. And things aren't going well for him, so he can't afford to break guitars over people anymore. Mostly he just sings. He does a lot of singing.

That was his signature move recently. He's the honky-tonk man. He's dressed as Elvis when he wrestles. Back in the day, back in his salad days. Salad days? Am I using that right? He breaks a guitar over somebody's head. And then he would throw a salad at them.

Those were the days. Sometimes it was a Caesar, sometimes it was a cop, depending on who was sponsoring him at the time. Honky-tonk man brought to you by Cobb Salad? A Cobb Salad. What's the idea of a Cobb Salad? It depended on who his manager was. Right.

If it was a Cobb Salad, who was his manager? It would be Southern Salad. Mr. Fuji, it would be Japanese Salad. Something with bok choy in it. At the end of the Undertaker interview just as a capper he was acting all Undertaker-y and spooking

everybody out and Regis was wearing a Hulk Rules shirt under his sweater which he revealed to the audience. It's great that there was a period of time when wrestlers had to keep up the appearance of the storyline even off of the set or outside of the ring. They can't say, like, well, it's fake, but we all have a great time.

They have to say, like, Hogan stole my manager. I don't know what a story-line in wrestling would be. I'm assuming it's all over people stealing other people's Managers Like so many boyfriends And girlfriends Yeah Because I saw an interview

With The Undertaker on Jimmy Kimmel And he just talks about how he's a Performer in this crazy wrestling So things have changed But back then Regis had to act as an Antagonist So I guess If so things have changed but back then like regis had to act as a antagonist anyways so like so so his so i guess if if wrestling is this in that time was this this continuous world then

his regis and kelly interview was part of his continuity yes like part of his official story it was canon yeah anyway it was canon yeah and, like, the Undertaker showed up and Regis was saying, like, nobody's going to beat the Hulk. And he was wearing the shirt underneath. It was incredible of Regis to do this. And then as soon as the interview was over, it cut to, check us out on Friday where we have comedy legend Dame Edna. Which was a nice kind of cherry on top. Prior to your arrival tonight, we were watching a cake boss marathon on TLC.

The cake boss is a show we enjoy because the boss has to make cakes shaped like different things. And today he had to make some cakes for these professional competitive eaters. And so the cakes had

to be shaped like food. But a cake is food. Like a food other than cake? Yeah, he had to make a cake that was shaped like a plate full of chicken wings, and one that was shaped like a plate full of spaghetti, and then hamburgers. Because competitive eaters won't eat cake competitively. It's against the rules.

Everybody knows it. But one of the competitive eaters had the Ultimate Warrior face paint on. Oh, yeah, that's right. Why did I completely blank on that? Is his name some sort of food pun on the Ultimate Warrior? I can't think of one. I don't know. But.

Thinking. No, I don't think there is one. No, there's not one. It's impossible. It's absolutely impossible. I don't think there is one. No, there's not one. There's not one. It's impossible. It's absolutely impossible. Please don't email us. But it reminded me that I once saw this other show with competitive eaters that was called

Credit Card Roulette. What? Wait a minute. Is this one of those Canadian? No, it was from, I want to say WGN Chicago, the Superstation. Oh, yeah. One of the Superstations in the Superstation package. You get KTLA, WGN, and TBS for one low price.

Actually, in our Canadian hotel room, I was watching Peachtree TV, which is from Atlanta. Yeah, we don't get TBS anymore. It's now WPCHpch wow which is a highway the peach uh and so it was a show called credit card roulette and it uh all these guys they took like five um high rollers rich guys and five competitive eaters And they all had to put their credit cards in a hat. And then they ate a huge 10-course meal that was really expensive. And after every round, one of their credit cards got taken out. And so the last guy whose credit card was in there had to pay for it all.

All of the meals? Yeah, everyone's meal. It was the dumbest thing I've ever seen. Wait, so the... Oh, God, that's awful. Yeah. That'sest thing I've ever seen. Wait, so the... Oh, God, that's awful. That's so dumb. And it was like 90 minutes. So you're just watching people eat?

And are they doing confessionals between courses? Like, oh, man, I hope I don't have to pay for this. It's getting expensive. Someone's credit card would get taken out, and they're like, well, now I'm going to order something crazy. Sure. Now I'm going to start dumping my food on the ground. Was this at a period of time when there was more need for reality TV shows than there was?

Oh. Because it feels like that's ebbed a bit, but there was a time when there was just everything. Yeah. Anything that could be a reality TV show was a reality. Yeah, they were just taking ideas, throwing them at the wall, and people had to eat them. One of my first jobs out of college, during college, during the summer, I interned for the Fox TV development office. And right out of college, they said, well, we're having this thing. It's like you get $100 a week. You come in and just do a little think tank where hip young people come up with ideas for reality shows.

And kind of the idea was that they have rights to all the reality shows you're coming up with in this think tank so if something comes up then they get it but you get a hundred bucks yeah but you get 100 like it's called american idol yeah yeah i doubt it'll fly uh and this is definitely during the you know the apex of the trashy reality show. Yeah, yeah. Darva Conger. No, actually, I think this is one where Monica Lewinsky was currently hosting a reality show where men are in masks and women are from Mars. Right, are from Mars. Fillate them for money.

And that's the show. And that's the show. It all happens off screen. But there's testimonials where they tell you how the fellatio went. Yeah. Stained dresses. So, yeah, this is during the height of the trashy reality show fad. But there's testimonials where they tell you how the fellatio went. Stained dresses. So yeah, this is during the height of the trashy reality show fad.

Anyways, when I came into this think tank, the idea... That makes no sense. I'm fiddling with something. The idea that everyone was excited about was a reality show where childless couples compete for the eggs of a supermodel. Oh my god. Honest to god, they were about to make this a show. countless couples compete for the eggs of a supermodel. Honest to God, they were about to make this a show. And what happened? What stopped them? I don't know.

No, actually, while I was doing this. Supermodels not willing to give up their eggs? That maybe would be a little hang up. No, they tranquilize them. They go to Milan. They blow dart them. Tag them. Yeah, tag them in the ear.

It's so hard to get modeling work after you wake up in a bathtub full of ice without a kidney or any eggs. That's how they take your eggs out. And no swimsuits after that. Yeah, because you have a giant scar. a giant scar. Wasn't there recently, and this feels way past the point of that type of show, there was one called Blind... I think it was called Blind Date.

Well, there was the Daily Blind Date show. No, not with whatever his name was. This was Blind People Dating. Roger Lodge. From Jesse and the Rippers. He was the drummer. Was he? In one episode, in the episode where they fired Jesse.

Really? Full house trip. They brought in Roger Lodge. Yeah, they fired him. He was in a green screen room. The professor says. It was this show. It was a group of men and a group of women, and then

they met each other in the dark. There was a, like a room that was completely blacked out and they touched each other's faces and stuff. And they got to know each other's personalities. And then, then they, when they saw them in the light, decided if they wanted to be together. And the answer nine times out of 10 was no. He's too ugly. Wow.

Oh yeah. Yeah. Got along, but I didn't know. Hit the bricks, uggamug. I wonder if that's what they... There's a show that I was on two years ago, and it's on TV here now on A... What's A Network? Oh, the A channel?

Just one of the channels. One of our locals. Yeah. They play an old Comedy Central reality show, but in the first episode, they did did that to us where they're like, you have to go into this room that's dark and hit on a woman, and everything you say has to be led towards a one-night stand. You're not looking for a relationship.

Say whatever you think will lead that woman to the bedroom. Right. And it's like, what? I've never – that's the hardest thing in the world to do. So I thought, oh, I'll be... Funny. And then each comic went in and did it, and then they turned on the lights, and it was everyone's mom.

The lights came on. It was your... With me, it was my dad, so I got up early. I came immediately. You saw your dad You blew your road

Everyone had to spank it for a while Before they get off But I got off early No it was my dad and I was like Oh hey you're in town And we hugged But everyone who had their mom there They screamed

Cause they were all saying I wanna kiss you between the legs Weird shit came out of everyone's mouth and then the mom would be there and one girl was raised by her grandma what yeah yeah this is is this reality bites back yeah yeah yeah and uh but that was just yeah there's a couple that were terrible but most people were trying to be funny and then their parent was there and they're like you already know who i am and the parents like i had no problem but the girl with the grandma oh man so terrible i wonder if they stole from that show that well this show i think came out after

that so i think this show would have stolen it from that show go ahead and have it we're not sure of the chronology um do we want to move on to some overheards oh i would love to oh yeah we don't we overheard all right overheards uh things overheard in uh your everyday life perhaps you're a uh somebody who's riding on a plane or perhaps you're just visiting canada and overheard some people saying some hilarious things. We always like to start with the guests when it comes to overheards. Whoever would like to start between Chris and Jordan?

I've got one. I'm wondering if it's gauche to do an overheard that you heard a crazy homeless man screaming. Oh no. Oh no. We will judge you.

Okay. But we'll allow it for entertainment, though. It doesn't seem intolerant. Doesn't it? I don't know. Okay. You guys are cool with it, though, if I do like it. Oh, no, we have no problem with that.

Okay, this is something a crazy homeless guy would say. Where was this? This was in San Francisco. Oh, nice. I was working up there a couple of days ago, and just kind of walking around and there was a woman just you know kind of a well-dressed business woman uh kind of in a doorway uh talking on a cell phone uh and a homeless guy uh pointed at her and just yelled at

the top of his lungs to society. Hey! If you want to be with her, it's $5,000 a minute. That's clever, Homeless Guy. Yeah, it's funny because it's an insult because it's implying that she's a prostitute, but the world's most expensive

prostitute to where not only does she charge by the minute, but it's $5,000 a minute. I would like to have her eggs. Sure, right? You would maybe do a pudding race to win her eggs. I am interested in this pudding race. Let's investigate the pudding race.

What they were competing, or how they were competing. Was it a wipeout style? I don't know what the competitions consisted of, but I'm just assuming it was Double Dare style competitions for the eggs of a supermodel. Or a very expensive prostitute in this scenario. This couple that can't have kids and they are made to run through a crazy maze and be slimed in order to get the water. Yeah, or wear cloud pants and have water balloons tossed into them. Into them.

Depending on which physical challenge we're referencing. I don't, do you remember this show at all? Double Dare? Yeah. Yes. With Mark Summers. You would call it Double Dare. Double is a plural?

I'm not sure. Like multiple but similar seasons. Yeah. Two consecutive summers. Jimmy Springs. 500 days of summers. Oh, that's his new reality show. Or a documentary movie where they follow him around.

Just the last 500 days of his life before he killed himself. Because he peaked with double dare. Day 500. Wrist slit. Mine's almost too similar because mine's sort of a homeless. Well, he's a street, like a Venice musician performer guy. Yeah, that's like a homeless by choice guy.

Yeah, yeah. My guy was mentally ill. My guy wants to live by the beach forever. Yeah. But I was on a skateboard going along a sidewalk, so all this happened within like 10 seconds. So I wish I could do the timing of it, but I've already ruined that with this disclaimer. Or maybe you have enhanced it. Yeah, yeah.

I think enhanced. I haven't enhanced. This isn't just a... So there's a guy working at a restaurant, and he had a jug of stuff. And the homeless-y guy said, he's like, well, are you about to clean the tables, or have you cleaned the tables? And the guy held up the jug, and he's like, well, it's brown. It used to be pink.

the tables and the guy held up the jug and he's like well it's brown it used to be pink and the homeless guy goes brown or pink i'll stick my dick in it and that was just uh and then i passed by and i'm like well that guy's really quick and hilarious but he's a homeless guy someone get him some neapolitan ice cream yeah i think so All he needs is a little vanilla. Strawberry. In a box. Square box. But that's something I heard. Some quality crazy homeless. That is really...

I feel like our homeless are beaten down too much by society. Yeah, I feel like ours aren't as sharp with the rapport as these... This is in sunnier parts, maybe, of the country, so it's not... They're not dampened by the constant rain. So they're still thinking, what's a good one-liner if somebody says this? Because you do have a lot of time in the day to come up with one-liners.

But, I mean, how would you know about the pink and brown? Don Rickles was homeless for a long time. A lot of people don't know that. But that's when he amassed most of his routine, was when he was sucking dick. Can I have a dollar? That's fine. You hockey puck. Give me a dollar, Chinese

guy. I'm racist again. How come comics now aren't allowed to do... He would do all race material. He's still nice. And people lose their minds with laughter, not with enragement. But then at the end, he would go, cue the song where I sing that I'm a nice guy and we should all get along.

And then he leaves the stage and everybody goes, I guess he's not racist after all. Well, okay. We all have grandparents. racist after all. Well, okay. We all have grandparents and our... I would... Okay. At least my grandparents growing up would always, you know, let loose a racial. Okay.

During... During your Thanksgiving dinners, your what have you. Are you talking about farts that sound like the N-word? Yes! Let fly a racial. Wop. Wop. Wop.

Trink! Oh. Oh. Oh, flatulence against Asians. And it was kind of just like, ah, well, they're old. But I think Don Rickles has the privilege of he told racial jokes when it was okay, but then he kept telling them to when he was an old man and it was kind of adorable.

So I think he's kind of straddled the two lines. So he got the best of both worlds. Yeah, yeah, yeah. By the time we have grandchildren, people won't make jokes about their dicks having sweet tooths. Yeah, that's how I'm... Sweet teeth? No, sweet tooths.

Let's rewrite it right now, by the way. Mark Summers All I want to make sure There's still an apple in its mouth Or whatever Dave do you have an overheard? Sure I do I was at

It's a four person recording So we had to rent a microphone I had to go to Long and McQuaid Where the music begins That's like a guitar center For you folks Sure What do you mean for you folks.

What do you mean by you folks? Blacks. Did somebody just fart in here? But there was a there was this guitar case shaped like a coffin. And there was like a 50 yearyear-old man. That's where your Addams Family cover band.

You just play the Addams Family theme song in different styles. Maybe the Munsters theme song. And now, doo-wop. Everybody get your snapping fingers ready. Yeah, so this coffin-shaped guitar case and a 50-year-old man with not his wife, someone who didn't like maybe his sister. Yeah, I'm guessing was his sister, a 50 year old man and his sister.

Let's put it there in our minds. And he sees this guitar case shaped like a coffin. And he says, hey, you know who's like this? Sean. And the lady says, why is he goth and the guy goes almost but you can only assume he misheard her what he thought she said why is he gone like he needs to be buried. Let's get him. That's what I got for you.

We need to get this for Sean. That guy has AIDS. Almost. He has cancer and AIDS. But he's so tiny he could fit in this guitar case and then we could bury him. Wasting away. Oh, Sean. We aren't gonna miss you, you short son of a bitch.

We buried you in a guitar case, for God's sake you weren't even worth a real human casket did you guys hear there was a story it was from an american a car manufacturer that had kind of uh gone out of business but then went back into business manufacturing plastic caskets what that's true like they had the machines and they were like you know what this could also make besides bumpers caskets and that's they went back they reopened the factory and hired back all the workers and they're like okay it's gonna be fucking weird yeah but we're gonna make plastic fancy caskets all we have to do is seal up those parts where the windows were they're gonna look exactly like cd They will still have CD players in them.

They just look like cars. Oh lordy. But that's true. That's an actual thing. I wonder who it was. It was like Saturn. Let's say Saturn. But it was supposed to be one of those early, like the morning

show feel good stories. But you're like, the morning show feel-good stories. But you're like, hey, in a way it is, I guess. Sort of. People got their jobs back. Because at Yugo, we hate to see you go. Oh, my God. Come on. I don't know.

I thought it was going to be. I'm not mad at it. That's basically the best car death fine you can make. That's a car made in Yugoslavia, and he established it was an American car. I'll leave. But you know what? I'll leave this tiny room. No, I contend there's no hole in that joke.

I think that's fine. That was great. I like wordplay. I enjoyed it. Everybody enjoyed it, right? Yeah, yeah, no, I'm a big fan. Of the Yugo joke. It's no cock with a sweet tooth,

but it's... That's your favorite joke? You have your favorite joke? I have mine. Yeah. That's what makes us different. Now, you have an overheard, too, I imagine. Of sorts.

Mostly, it was a... I was going to see the movie... What was I going to see? Oh, Hot Tub Time Machine on the weekend. And while I was standing in line, there was a guy behind me who was trying to describe to his friend uh was that movie i really liked and his friend was like uh x-men and he's like no not x i don't know i don't even know what that is and he was very upset that that was the suggestion how old are these guys first oh they're in their 40s. So the one guy was like, no, not X-Men. And he said that really, and then the guy said,

you're talking about the one with Hugh Jackman? And he goes, yeah. And he goes, Wolverine? He goes, that's the one! Way off. He was so angry that X-Men was even suggested. No, you idiot. It was Wolverine. I didn't know Wolverine had its separate movie.

Oh, it was terrible. Yeah, I bet. Yeah, there's a scene where he goes to the lumberjack camp. That's where he's working. And it's like that scene in Zoolander where he's working in the mine. Hugh Jackman doesn't look like he could have any other job except actor and possibly song and dance man. Yeah, song and dance man. Yeah, song and dance man. Funny you should mention Wolverine. We were doing

Ryan Reynolds' Impressions of Dinner. Oh, he was in Wolverine? Yeah, he was. He was Deadpool. He played... Oh, that's right! Yeah, I guess he's gonna be Deadpool in the Deadpool spin-off movie. Oh, finally. I know. The Merc with the Mouth comes to the big screen. I don't know who that is.

Oh, he's a... Okay, never mind. Is there also a band called Deadpool? Because I bet that's a pretty good name. You think of Drowning Pool. Oh, the metal band. It's like a metal band. Yeah. From the Dawn of the Dead remake.

But in the Deadpool Clint Eastwood movie. Oh? Yeah. Was he Dirty Hearing It? Yeah. That's kind of what... That was the first I had ever heard of Guns N' Roses. Welcome to the Jungle was in that. It was? And the lead singer of Guns N' Roses. Welcome to the Jungle was in that.

And the lead singer of Guns N' Roses in it was Jim Carrey. And he died of an overdose in the beginning of the movie. It was like his first acting. Wait, Jim Carrey played Axl Rose? That's right. After he did that. Hold on. Explain.

This seems totally bizarre to me. What are you talking about? Once Bitten movie came out and then Jim Carrey's in that. And he wasn't a comedic actor yet. He was just overacting and I found him irritating. Later he became a hero. And then later irritated. Yeah, he was in –

Full circle, full circle. I hope he's in a guitar-shaped casket. No, he's fine, and he's Canadian, and I take it back. See, that's how Don Rickles would do it. That's all right. It's good to see you, Mr. President. She looks great. I thought you just bought a leather purse.

It's the Deadpool. Don't look at me like I know. Come on, we were talking earlier. Deadpool. That is an actual movie. Before the Welcome to the Jungle video came out, it was in that movie. It was in the soundtrack.

And Jim Carrey was playing the lead singer. And the first investigation, the opening murder that happened that he later had to investigate was the guy that sang that song died. It was Jim Carrey. He had two lines and then he is dead. Wow. He's lip syncing that song

like he's Axl Rose. I just want to rent that shit right now. Sounds good. First five minutes. Is it not weird that there was a period of time when Jim Carrey, like that was it for comedy.

Like a guy acting wacky. Yeah, and then Austin Powers came along and changed all that. That's right. It's like, hey guys guys comedy can be smart It's not just faces Look at how this It's also outfits Confusing silhouettes

Am I grabbing for a vase Or is my hand going up her asshole You'll never know Because you would just casually reach up someone's asshole. Because with shadows, you have no depth perception. Confusing puppetry. Canada gave a lot to the world.

Yeah. This is something we were talking about at dinner. Can I hear your Ryan Reynolds impression? It's more of like, it's more of a style impression than it is like, I'm imitating the voice. It's just something like. And it's more facially. Yeah, facial is very important too, so I don't think it'll come across on the podcast, so I'm not even going to do it.

Yeah, no, it's just enunciating. He enunciates well. Talked himself out of it. But the reason we were talking about it is because there's so many comics we grew up Yeah, it's like Canada is very proud of its contribution to comedy. Yeah. Not to the point that they support it with

any money or infrastructure whatsoever. Okay. Well, maybe that's I would assume you guys all get grants or something. No, we do not. In fact, there are grants for just about every possible art that you can imagine, except comedy. So we're super proud of comedy as long as we don't all get a nice chunk of the Prime Minister's money. I have some friends who have a very nice snuff film grant they're working on.

One of them's not going to get to spend it, though. Because he's dead. Because he got shot at the end of the snuff film okay continue way to spoil spoiler alert overheards from the listeners yes yes we have uh we have some people who wrote in ones not as many as usual but this is uh well we recorded two days ago yeah this is this one's good i like because it tells a story, and it's from California, USA, where you gentlemen both reside. This is from Hank I. I know him.

Oh, do you? Hank I. Hank I. Hank I. Yes. Apu on The Simpsons, my best friend. I'm Hank from California, USA. I was eating at IHOP, and I overheard the people in the booth next to me.

They were having a meeting because they were going to pitch a cartoon show to someone. There was a very overweight butch lesbian who was the creator of the show, her girlfriend, and an Asian guy who was the animator. Easy, Hank. Yeah. Getting racist. Did they walk into a bar after this? Did they walk into a bar after this? From what I could tell, the idea of the show was centered around marijuana and the controversy surround the legalization of marijuana.

The Butch one did most of the talking and she made it very clear that this was a show for kids, specifically kids under 12. Wow. This was not an adult cartoon like South Park. The network might try to make it that, but she wouldn't put up with that shit. Got a lot of clout. Yeah. She was so confident that this was a good idea, she was talking about possible movie spinoffs.

Then said very loudly, Now, when we get in there, we aren't leaving without a signed deal. I don't want to hear them say they aren't interested, then see a rip off of this show on the air Six months from now Because I know how these snaky fuckers work There you go IHOP in California Love it Does that sound like something?

And yeah really Painted the scene And the characters We didn't even know that one was a lesbo And one was Asian It didn't enter know that one was a lesbo and one was Asian. It didn't enter into the story at all. Yes, he mentioned it.

Because he's a xenophobe. He's scared of women who like Xena? Yes, he is. Which is a lesbian. There's Xena. Full circle. Lesbians are called Xenas. Or warrior princesses. Or warrior princesses. Or warrior princesses.

Warriors princess. Warriors princess. Princess I. Hercules, the legendary journeys. This is from Philippa C. Oh, hold on. The Adventures of Briscoe Canning Jr. Oh, yeah.

That was Bruce Campbell, right? I don't know. Okay. Look into it. I don't know. Okay. Look into it. This is Philippa from Suffolk, England, and I have an overheard from a class at school a few weeks ago.

These two really ditzy girls sitting in front of me were just messing around and making loads of noise and basically distracting everyone. They were mucking about. They were knocking about. Having a heap of fun. Heaps of fun then one of them said to the other we're seriously like god and jesus when they're apart they get so much work done but now we're in together in heaven i swear they do fuck all so i she wrote it weird so i kind of said it weird but that's probably the british yeah it's all But basically, these two girls think that when God and Jesus are apart...

We got it. Oh, did you? They just hang out and play Xbox or something. Like many fathers and sons. Oh, sure. This isn't in the overheard variety, but it does fall into something we've talked about in the last couple weeks. We had a thing going on over who is our oldest or eldest, rather, listener. And there was a lady named Fran who is 61.

Yeah. And then there was a guy named Bruce who said that he was 63 and told Fran to suck it. And that threw his 63 credentials into question. And then... Oh, God, who was the wrestler who did suck it? Triple H. Triple H, yeah. There you go, sorry.

Okay. And then... Good job. For those of you listening at home, Dave made a real shit-eating I'm a great guy face when he realized that Triple H was the one who made the second motion. And I gave him a look on my face that said, if only you knew, I thought the Undertaker was a monster truck. Because I really did.

I mean, I think it is, actually. Remember when the monster truck got mad at Regis? Yeah. The monster truck was on the show. Oh, I didn't mention that. I'm thinking of the grave digger. He confused the undertaker and the grave digger. God damn it, for good reason.

That's reasonable. Similar logo. They should have got together. That would have been a great Sunday if they got together. It would have lasted five seconds. The undertaker inside the grave digger we're gonna blow it up

um anyways we have a an entrant into who isn't our eldest listener but uh somebody looking to see if he is the youngest listener. And Brian H. is... Hi, I'm a baby. He's 12 and a half. So we have a 12 and a half year old listening to this nonsense. I wish I had known that before all my language choices. He doesn't know half the wrestlers we mentioned. Yeah, exactly.

I just wish you had brought up more current wrestlers. Yeah. From TNA, Total Nonstop Action. That isn't really what TNA stands for, is. From TNA, Total Nonstop Action. That isn't really what TNA stands for, is it? It does, Total Nonstop Action. Gorgeous ladies of wrestling. Well, that's glow. That makes sense.

That's at least a thing. TNA is tits and ass. But then it's like, oh, man. Twelve and a half. Scarred forever. Hey, kid. Total Nonstop Action. 12 and a half scarred forever hey kid total non-stop action I'm just speaking directly to the 12 and a half year old right now

that's all you're gonna get and that's really all we have from the but I do want to make a shout out to all the recent additions to the old man in the sea Dracula cannon. Oh yeah.

It's referring in reference for anybody who hasn't listened before. There's a couple of shows ago, somebody sent in an overseen that was a teacher and the assignment was to put quotes around the different titles in the question. So it was Hamlet, old man in the question. So it was Hamlet, Old Man and the Sea, and Dracula. And one of the kids handed in his assignment that there were quotes around Hamlet and Old Man and the Sea Dracula. So we put out what, like, kind of people to interpret what that would look like.

And we've got something that is a designing of a book jacket. We've got somebody's working on a stop-motion claymation movie of Old Man and the Sea Dracula. We had somebody design a video game after it. And the entrants just keep pouring in, and it's fantastic, and everybody is wonderfully talented. We love it. And thank you for contributing.

I'm guessing the designing of a video game took the most time. No, it was done with... That one should probably win. Is there a prize? It was done with... Does it work for PlayStation? and thank you for contributing. I'm guessing the designing of a video game took the most time. That one should probably win. Is there a prize? It was done with some... Through some Wario video game where you could design your own video game within the video game. Oh, it's probably WarioWare DIY.

Okay. Yeah, that's exactly what it was. Now we have listeners who have called in their overheards. If you want to write us the email address. Email us, stoppodcastingyourself at gmail.com. And if you would like to call us, it's 206-339-8328. Hello, newly annexed part of the Maximum Fun Empire,

Stop Podcasting Yourself gentlemen. This is Anna in New York, and I have been overheard. I was waiting for the elevator at my place of employment, and there was a mom, and she had a little boy who was maybe 10 or 11, and a little girl who was younger. And the little boy was being rowdy and messing with the buttons, and the mom said, don't touch that and the little boy said that's what she said but he said it in this really joyless manner and the mom just kind

of looked at him and just sighed resigned manner so i think that's over maybe that was his homework that he had to do find at least one scenario in which to say that's what she said. How many times today did that video game guy say that? Oh, so many. Like seven times. Oh, the background. During the day... We're doing this during the evening.

During the day, we were at a video game studio doing these video game interviews, and the PR agent, who was our liaison made a lot of that's what she said jokes. And it's because of the office. It has a resurgence with younger people. Yeah. He's not a younger dude. And wouldn't add that, you know, usually when your comedy hipsters say that's what she said,

it's with this kind of like knowing sigh. Right. Which is acceptable, I think. I think it's fine if you say that and then you kind of have that little caveat in your voice. I know this is dumb. Or if you're an 11-year-old on an elevator, it's totally okay. Yeah, yeah. But yeah, this was a grown man who was saying it a lot.

Yeah. Like five, six times. How much did it make sense? You know, it always made sense. Never once was it like, can I just get a drink of water before we start? That's what she said. Maybe if she's pregnant.

Start what? I guess maybe it was sex. But no, I mean, it always, I think Chris was playing a game and said like, I can't get over this bush. I can't get over this bush. It, I can't get over this bush. It was all dirty. Do I put my finger, yeah, yeah.

Do I put my finger in this bush? Something about grinding. I want a penis in my butt. Yeah, that's what she said. Yeah, some of the things I was saying were pretty non-quiet. In his defense, I was saying weird stuff that only she would say. She seems like a slut. I just want to meet a man and have a baby.

That's what she said. Why did I say it then? Why did I say that? I need ice cream because I'm on my period. Yeah, that's what she said. Because she was. I wish I was a dude sometimes. Yeah, that's what she said. Because she was. I wish I was a dude sometimes. Yeah, that's what she said.

Okay. Do you need to listen to more of these? Yeah, we do. Okay. I like the elevator story, incidentally. These are all good. Hi, Stop Podcasting Yourself. This is Ed in Kansas.

I have an overheard. I was walking past some people sitting outside a coffee shop recently and I overheard one person say the phrase Dude, Caligula was the shit.

Thanks guys. That's what she said. No, see it doesn't work there. It doesn't work in all contexts. You think he's talking about the movie or the historical figure? I assume the historical figure. Yeah. He had it going on.

I have a book of just like, you know, it's kind of like a bathroom reader type book of just fun historical facts and one of them is Caligula would force young prepubescent boys to swim on the top of the water naked and he would swim underneath the water and nip up at their penises and he would say he was pretending to be a fish catching a worm.

Anyway. No reason to have said that. It was a more innocent time. It was a simpler time. It was the 30s. Yeah. It was a time when... America was in the middle of a Great Depression.

People were getting more exercise. More like Kanye-ligula. Yeah. Okay. More like it? Kanye-ligula. Kanye? Kanye-ligula?

Kanye-west-yigula. What are you talking about? Kanye-ligula. Kanye? Kanye-ligula? Kanye West-igula. What are you talking about? Kanye-ligula. Oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah, I get it. Wait, is cunnilingus only? No, cunnilingus is male to female.

Oh, okay. Or anyone to female. Yeah, you're right. Is anything on pussy? Oh, it's fellatio. Fellatio is... Don't look at me. This is for the 12-year-old listening.

We're just trying to tell you the proper terms to use. And Caligula was a 12-year-old. You'll probably enter your late 20s and never have had sex like us. Swimming in a pool with some dictator nipping at our penises. Oh, bathhouse. Oh, bathhouse. Next. Oh, Oklahoma.

New Broadway musical. Dave, hey Graham Hey potential guest This is Greg from Omaha And I'm calling in with an overheard But I'm also drunk So I mean I'm also drunk So this is twofold

Today I was walking down the street with my wife And I mean, I'm also drunk, so this is twofold. Today I was walking down the street with my wife, and we just had a lovely dinner together, and the sun was setting over the skyline of our city, and it was lighting up some clouds from behind. It was really quite nice. I had stopped to admire it briefly. And then we were walking, and there were some gentlemen behind us.

And one of them said to his friend, Look at that cloud up there. There's a sun behind it. That's sick. And I thought it was fun. That's all. That's sick. That's sick. That's sick.

I think that maybe falls under the Caligula. What was Caligula again? Awesome. Awesome. A rad dude. He's a shit. Okay. Yeah, someone had a, yeah, this is my impression of a rat boy thinking something is beautiful. Look at the, and it was something like that.

The sun behind that cloud. That's sick. That's sick. That's sick. I don't know. All right, one more. All right, here we go. Hi, Dave and Graham. This is Nicole from Kipling.

Okay, so I haven't overheard for you. I work at this sort of subway-type place, and so these two guys were going through getting their subs, and the one guy said, Oh, all you're getting is chicken fingers, to the other guy. And he's like, oh, well, yeah. I mean, I want two kinds of meat,

but his friend said, yeah, you would want two kinds of meat. Queer. And then he paused, realizing he had just offended him. And he's like, um, I'm really sorry. Will you still pay for me? Oh, no.

Bad policy. To call the person paying the queer word. And suggest that they like two types of... Yeah, not only are they queer, but they're sexually adventurous. Which is worse. Yeah. Keep it in your pants, sexually adventurous which is worse yeah

keep it in your pants Charles Nelson Reilly thanks everybody for calling in if you do want to call in it's 206-339-8328 and want to wrap it up sure

as was mentioned several times during the podcast, we have moved our online component over to the Maximum Fun website. And our kind of section of that website will be up and running soon, hopefully by the time this podcast is out. But if not, patience is a virtue. Sure. And when does this come on?

Sunday, Monday? Oh, okay. There's still tickets available for the charity show I'm doing for the homeless. I think it's called the Feed the Homeless show.

It's not a very cleverly named show. Because our homeless don't have funny things of their own to say. No, yeah. That's why you need comedy benefits for them. We hire writers. Kanye, Madi. Do you guys have anything you'd like to plug? Where can people find you on the internet?

I have a CD that I just made. Yeah, you handed me a copy. Yeah, but technically they aren't coming out until the 8th. But it's on iTunes. It's been on iTunes since the 4th. Of April? Of this last month. Of March.

Of March, yeah. About a month ago. I think it's been about a month. All right. But the hard copies come out the 8th of... April. April. Got it.

And it's just called Fairbanks. Yeah. Is that right? Yeah. And it's... I listened to a couple tracks today, and delightful. Oh, thanks.

Yeah. That's at those places you mentioned, Amazon, iTunes, and chrisfairbanks.com, the end. And, Mr. Morris, where can people find you? Oh, Amazon, iTunes, and chrisfairbanks.com, the end. And, Mr. Morris, where can people find you? Oh, sure. Yeah, yeah. The podcast I do called Jordan Jesse Go is at maximumfun.org.

All right. Where I think you guys are going to be now from now on. So we will also be there. No reason to plug that. And actually, on the boards there, on the forums, I noticed someone started a topic asking which Chris was better,

Fairbanks or Hardwick. I get confused more than Hardwick more often than I... I think the people that are on my... that think I am better think that I'm Chris Hardwick. There's no one that actually knows who I am. I think it's the waspy name.

They're like, Chris Fairbanks is better. The G4 show. No, he's terrific. I'll be in Calgary at the end of the month. Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, you're going to be at the funny... Is that in April? I think it's the end of this month. Okay, alright.

That's funnyfest.ca, I believe. Yes. Maybe it's Mac. It might be.com. Yeah, no, Bridgetown, it's the end of this month. You're a busy guy. I'm not your manager. Don't look at me, asshole. You sound like a pro wrestler.

He stole my manager. I don't know your tour dates. Get in the ring. I'm going to hit you with a ladder. Well, thank you both for joining us here. It was very nice to have you. Sure. Wasn't it, though? It was great. It in the ring. I'm going to hit you with a ladder. Thank you both for joining us here. It was very nice to have you. Wasn't it, though? It was great. It was, though.

Wish this room was smaller. We recorded in a small room. We're going to shrink it. I haven't been pushed yet. Thank you, everybody, for listening. If you enjoyed the show, tell your friends. Come on back next week for another wonderful,

zip, zip, zabulous episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself.