Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 117 - Erica Sigurdson

Episode Date: June 8, 2010

Comedian Erica Sigurdson returns to talk Hedonism, Dave's trip to LA, and sustainability.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to Stop Podcasting Yourself episode 117. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is the Jack White to my Meg White, Mr. Dave Shumka. That's a good one to be. They're both good. I like them. Yeah, I'm the chestier of the two of us. So that's why I give myself that designation.

Yeah, and I'm brooding, but screechy. And joining us here on the podcast today, a third time visitor to the podcast, a very funny lady, one of my favorite people in all of Canada. Not just BC, not just the western half of Canada,

all of Canada. But not as big as the world. No. No, well, you know, because then you're in league with the queen. Sure, yeah. Miss Erica Sigurdsson. Lucy Liu. You're Renee Zellweger, so you're Jack White, I like to think of myself. Correct. Are they still together?

No, he married like a model. Oh, good for him. Much like your Johnny Depps would do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm talking with a chipmunk face, so. Well, should we get to know us? Yeah. Get to know us.

What does chipmunk face mean? You know how Renee, oh, I can't do it for our radio listeners at home, but. I missed that. She had a really, like a puffy chip. She has a real. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, like a puffy cheek. She has a real. Yeah. Oh no, she died today. Oh no, it happens in threes.

I like that thing that people are saying, that it comes in threes. They're like, first Gary Coleman, now Dennis Hopper, because that was a close connection. Those are two in the same league of people. Yeah. Scientifically, it comes in threes. So it could be Dennis Hopper, Gary Coleman, and your uncle under the category of people you've heard of. But I ran over a gopher this weekend.

Sorry, a chipmunk and a gopher? I ran over the gopher, which is why I now am adopting the chipmunk face in honor of him. Erica, you just came back from uh if i'm not mistaken a whole month away on the road 21 days 21 days the wilds of alberta yes uh on the road playing some of the rougher like really some of the rougher gigs yeah am i wrong about that uh no you're not not wrong. Although I did cheat because I, um, as you know, in comedy,

you'll get Thursday to Saturday and then the rest of the time you are released back on day passes with nowhere to stay. Your own reconnaissance. Yes. And they're like, so you're in a foreign province. No, when you go on reconnaissance. Go on your own reconnaissance.

Yeah. I did do that a lot in Red Deer. I was trying to find myself. So you did a stakeout. Yeah. But I flew home three times during, for my days. Oh, you did? I'm sure I made no money on this tour because I just was, it's so lonely out there.

Yeah. Well, you were, like, you were playing, give an example of one Yeah. Well, you were playing. Give an example of one of the small towns you were playing in. Medicine Hat. Medicine Hat. Cameras, which we didn't play. We sat there until 11 o'clock and only three people came in. And they looked at us and walked out again. So that show was canceled.

So it was a good time. And I was with you the night that that you left you were oh my god and you were just dreading like you were like and and you thought that somehow like 12 minutes was enough time to get to the airport from where we were i did not realize how far away the sky train station was and so i walked i saw alicia and she was like oh it's like 12 minutes and i was like what so i got to the SkyTrain station. I bought a ticket. I went downstairs.

The train wasn't coming for 11 minutes. I did the math. And I went back upstairs. And I called a cab. So it cost me a lot of money to have drinks with you. You have the cab cost. You have the planes back and forth cost. Yes.

You have the time of and forth cost. Yes. You have the time of your own recognizance. Yes, the gopher funeral. That really put a dent in the money. So what was the – was there anything salvageable about the tour? Was there any good stops along the way or was it all just – Well, my best friend, my BFF who lives in Calgary. Your Biff. My Biff. just i well my best friend who my bff who lives in calgary i you're biff my biff i took four days for the one four day stretch i just rented a car and drove down to calgary and stayed with her

oh boys on the side yeah right riding in cars with boys home prize i've never been kissed which is the best of them all. And then I got to see my mom. How's your mom? My mom's lovely. And she's in Calgary? She's in Edmonton. Leduc. Leduc.

Which is right beside Edmonton. So you're traveling around, you're driving in a car. Right before the podcast, you told us that one of the gentlemen, and I use the term gentleman loosely, I'm sure, decided to take the faceplate out of his... One of the people you were performing with? Yeah. He took the faceplate out of his stereo so that you would be forced into conversation for the drive?

Which I didn't know, because I had loaded up a bunch of Stop Podcasting Yourselves, a few others just to spice it up. Right. And I put it it as soon as i got in the car i was already tired and we had a six hour drive ahead of us i plugged in my phone and after about an hour he turned it down to ask me a question and then never turned it up again and just took the face plate out and i was like, so next three days of lots of driving, we're just going to talk. You were playing podcasts through the stereo?

Yeah. Well, that's a little bit rude. I know. Yeah. I'm with this comic. I'd rather listen to other comics talk to each other. Oh, I'm rude. Well, you don't. but we had so much driving like we had three hours six hours three hours eight hours that sounds okay that's a lot it's 20 hours yeah i and i

know i'm charming but nobody wants to listen to me for 20 hours and i certainly didn't want to listen to him at all we're gonna put that to the test today on our first 20 hour episode um that sounds horrible that is that's really the thing that they say about stand-up especially when you're like on the road is like the the money that you're being paid is for that horrible travel that you just did yeah not which isn't enough usually not i'm actually minimum weight no i going to launch a courier company where I will load up where I'm going, which I'm never doing this again. It was a ridiculous waste of time.

So this courier company is already in the toilet. Yeah, I've started it up and taken the website down already. I think we would actually make more money if I put, hey, I'm going to Grand Prairie this weekend. Anyone need me to take a package? But then I could become a drug mule so yeah that's true yeah like if you're like i'll take a package no questions asked um wasn't there it was like a crazy story i think about past guest toby hargraves being in alberta and like for some reason some gig fell through and he ended up having to do like construction jobs

to get home because he like was stranded i don't know where he was stranded here he was they said they were going to give him travel money to drive home and they didn't and so he was already here and he got his check and you know like when you're opening especially like the money is just awful and he phoned and they were like no we never said we were going to give you gas money and he literally did not have any money so he went down to the like labor now office and was there with you know all these kind of down and out guys all guys that have just got out of prison yeah yeah I'm going to go straight. Yeah. I'm going to hang out outside Home Depot. Yeah.

So, but this, the guy that I was driving with, Ryan, he was, he was, you know,

we had a lot of fun and we had stopped in between Saskatoon and Regina, which is about three and a half hours. Yeah, yeah. Three hours

at this little tiny town of like 900 people, home of the world's biggest coffee pot. Okay. How big is it? Could you get in it? Yes, definitely. Could I get in it? Yeah, all three of us.

Ooh. And some coffee. No, but still, how big is it? It is quite big. Like almost as big as your house tall. Oh, really? Oh, that is big. Okay, thank you. Yeah, it's quite large. Oh, so it's not just really oh that is big okay thank you quite large

oh so it's not just some lady that's like look at the size of it yeah it's not just like two hot tobs on top of each other with some beans sprinkled uh but this woman that worked at the gas station we wanted to know if there's a tim hortons which is a great coffee shop um when there's no starbucks and she was like we said is it on the way to regina and she said i don't i don't go to regina Tim Hortons, which is a great coffee shop when there's no Starbucks. And she was like, we said, is it on the way to Regina? And she said, I don't go to Regina. I hate Regina. And so she was really mad.

And so Ryan kept asking her questions about Regina to the point where I was like, please stop. Like, she's going to lose her mind. And then so when I got to Regina, I bought her a postcard from Regina and I mailed it back to her. You remember the address? I had the receipt from the gas. And I've decided that for the next year, I'm going to mail her postcards from wherever I am. That's really good.

Just for fun. You are lonely. In Saskatchewan, I know the big thing is somebody always makes a joke about how flat it is does the crowd still laugh at these jokes uh oh i didn't do any of them no but the headliner surely he must have delved into the i was the headliner oh really i thought you were busy uh writing postcards the whole time you so who this So you flew in and then the opener drove you around? Yeah. Oh, that's the queen treatment right there.

I'm a little chagrined that you think that I would go out to Saskatchewan to open after doing comedy for 10 years. I don't know. You seem pretty down in the mouth about this whole trip. I was like, well, maybe she was. Oh, Lord. You did say something about the money not being good when you're the opener but i that i was telling the story i mean it's not good no matter what yeah so i got confused i apologize so you didn't do any did the opener do any material about

no so nothing no comments on the flatness of saskatchewan no about how boring the drive is no really i they must have heard it so many times you know what i mean they were probably on the flatness of Saskatchewan? No. About how boring the drive is? No. Really? They must have heard it so many times. You know what I mean? They were probably waiting for it the whole night. Yeah. When in Regina, you know what joke they were waiting for. Did you do it?

I didn't. Oh, well. I'm going to assume it was a disappointed crowd. They all got $5 back. And these aren't in comedy clubs. These are in bars, right? So you perform behind an electrified fence? Yes.

And people throw things at me. Yeah. You're a Blues Brothers Tribune actor, right? You opened for a Blues Brothers Tribune actor. And I had to be their roadie. The one with the little kid. So, you survived.

And you're saying you're never going to do it again. No, not like that. Like, it just... Like what? It's ridiculous. Please don't make me do it again. Well, to sign on for a three-week tour, like, thing where you have tons of days off.

And because we had, like, remember how we got fired a few months ago? Yeah, I do. Gray and Erica were co-hosts on television. Those were the days. And then they were replaced by a Blues Brothers tribute act. Yeah. That's right. And then I had a trip to Japan planned.

And so I just, before I left, I booked, you know, I was like, oh, let's book some work. So when I get home, I have, you know, some work. And that was a mistake. Yeah. What did you think would make things better by having that to return that? I don't know. I guess it would be, it had been two years really since I did that. So you're like, yeah.

I miss it. I miss driving to Grand Prairie. Like Mickey Rourke and the wrestler. Yeah. Gotta get back in there. And you were in Japan. I was. What was great about Japan?

That sounds way better. Yeah, that sounds excellent. Japan was way better. You brought us back some green tea Kit Kat bars. And also something called Blanchule, which is enjoy the superb taste of matcha milk chocolate and cookie made with the finest ingredients. Oh, I love the finest ingredients. Yeah. I assume

silk is somehow involved. Yes. What was the best part about Japan? Because that sounded like you went on a you and a bunch of martial artists. Yes. Went to go settle a score. And three sandwich artists.

A centuries-old grudge. To beat up the guy from Quiznos. Yeah. We all went together. Yeah, it was really great. We stayed at a traditional Japanese inn where they, like, roll out the futons. Why is that funny? Traditional where they bought their out the futons and... Why is that funny? Traditional where they bought their furniture at Ikea.

The futon is actually a Japanese word and the Swedish stole it. Oh, is that right? Okay. Yes. Another score to settle. Two for two. Everyone is going to their computers right now to Google that.

Point Erica. Especially since you said futon with a French accent. Futon. Was that French? I thought it was more Cambodian. Cambodian? I don't know. Okay.

You stayed on these futons. I want to hear all about them. On these futons. And I don't know. we had a good test soaked in the japanese hot tubs sure which you have to go naked in and i was not a big fan of that oh you oh but you did it anyways i did it anyway wow i overcame my fear of public were they uh so they're hot tubs or how are they different from our hot tubs? They're not filled with the world's biggest hot tub. They're fueled with wasabi. Yes.

It burns. Is the only difference that you have to be naked? Yep. And theirs don't say, world jet on the side. Well, they had the traditional like hot spring. And so it was outside. And they made it look like it was covered so people couldn't see but then when we got into our room we looked out and everyone can you can just see and at one point

i was standing as a truck drove by and everyone was looking and i was like oh hold on a second um maybe because we're taller than right by we i mean the white people of the universe travels those um shojis the sliding sliding doors with the that you can see silhouettes through yes did you do any funny sight gags no but don't think i'm not living with regret i wish i had um were there what else kimonos i assume they were kimonos yeah when you get dragons um there were kimono dragons when you get to this um i guess it's like a resort and so there's a bunch of japanese people it's at the top of the mountain there's there's nowhere to go or nothing to do and no food like you have to be naked at all what they yes so you do though you go you

get naked and you put on your kimono. And then you eat meals in the nude. That sounds like a really fun time. I actually think we were at some sort of swingers convention. It sounds like you were at... Hedonism. Hedonism Japan. What are the hedonism resorts? you know yeah they're there i do know and uh i know because they used to have an infomercial that would air and they'd be like uh it was yeah it's just like

any other infomercial except that hedonism was like this it's basically a sex resort yeah only the only pictures that you see from there are people that are really good looking. But I'm sure it's nobody good looking. It's gotta be all dudes. But I think they also have a prostitute element to kind of get things going.

And then after they get it going, the dudes are just left with each other. Yeah. And then they sit in the hot tub together. Are couples... Is it a couples thing? I don't think so.

No, it's supposed to be like an all-the-time spring break. Sure. For grown-ups. Older than college people. Yeah. Because it would be very expensive. Right. It would be like old, you know,

out of shape folks. Oily dudes. Yeah, oily dudes. But is there any sense of like, hey, how are you doing? Or do you just spot someone and go, you? Yeah, I think more like the second choice, what you said. Who would, what woman would want

to go and do that as a vacation? Hey, you know what I want to do? i want to pay money to go somewhere and just to have men be outnumbered 10 to 1 by ugly men yeah i think for now i could be mistaken on this but i think it works on the similar principle that a bar or a ladies night would work on wherein the hedonism, yeah, like it would be like 20 bucks for them to fly down. So it's like you get to go to Mexico for nothing. But even that, if she's getting a free trip she's expected to do certain

things. Yeah, well, you know, there's an unwritten code. You know, I buy you dinner. Yeah, I get to go up under the shirt. Sure. Over the bra. Over the bra only though, if it's dinner. Gotta keep it classy.

So Japan was great. What was your favorite thing that happened in Japan? We went to Kamakura, which is the world's largest Buddha. And we got to go inside. The world's largest in the last month and a half. Yeah. From Buddha to the big coffee cup.

It was quite a month. But it's right on the seaside. It's very Tofino-like. And so there was, you know, a bunch of people surfing. And of course, we had some good karaoke nights. What? Yeah. That's not how you pronounce it, though.

Karaoke. Oh, French. And we went to this place that was all you can drink for 1,500 yen an hour, which is like $15. Really? An hour, okay. But $15 an hour. We stayed there till 5 in the morning and it

was a mess by the time, like, because they keep bringing food too. And I just, I have this obsession with figuring out how businesses stay in business. Yeah. And I just kept doing the math. with figuring out how businesses stay in business. And I just kept doing the math. I was like, they can't be making any money at all. Yeah, like they must be, they must have some sort of Komodo or something.

Of course, I was required to give three hand chops on my way there. Yeah, sure. You woke up, you passed out, woke up at a hedonism resort. Yeah. You woke up. You passed out, woke up at a hedonism resort. Yeah. I think if it was $15 an hour, I would stay for one hour and just go nuts.

Yeah. Well, that's the thing. The first couple hours, you're really drinking. But I think they make their money between the three and the five because I was like, I can't keep going. In good conscience. Or any conscience. Or any any consciousness uh well it's good to have you back all in one piece i'm i apologize for my for my indiscretion and saying

that you were the opener i don't know why i thought you were the opener i assumed that if you were the headliner that you would call the shots radio wise in the car maybe that's why i was just drifted into opener land well i i know a lot of openers or headliners would have, like the people that I started with. Yeah. Now's your time. You earned it. You're now the shogun, right? See how I tied the two pieces together?

With the Kabbalah bracelet. That was beautiful. Yeah, no, but I'm also very nice. That's true. Maybe too nice for that That was beautiful. Yeah, no, but I'm also very nice. That's true. Maybe too nice for that dirty road business. Well, thanks for coming back in one piece and being on the podcast. My pleasure. Yeah.

Dave, you didn't go to Japan, but you went to the mighty city of Los Angeles. Yeah. How was that? Holly weird. It was so Angeles. Yeah. How was that? Holly weird. It was so great. Yeah. I went on Friday. I came back Sunday.

Yeah. I got a lot of action in. Yeah, you didn't get tricked into being a prostitute, did you? I wasn't tricked into it, no. It was a timeshare pick. I went willingly. Glamour Russ. But I did get tricked into

falling out of prostitution and falling in love with Richard Gere. Yeah, exactly. You said you never would. But it was the kissing on the lips. Rule number one, kiss me on the lips. So you went down for our

mothership corporation's annual fundraiser, the last eight-hour stretch called the Max Fund Drive. Yes, I participated in an eight-hour podcast marathon. Yeah, and you were great. Streamed live over the web. Sort of. Sort of. Sometimes. But most of which is currently available live over the web.

Yeah. And if you want to check it out, it's really worth seeing. Dave cuts it up. He's very funny. Yeah. I met a lot of very funny people. Mrs. Poole. Is that Edie McClure?

That's great. She's Miss Poole on The Hogan Family. Oh, she was the wacky neighbor? She also played the Secretary of Ferris B. Lubez Yes Yeah, oh, people listening know the list Yeah, quite a list

Yeah, and then I met some Twitter nerds Who I know over Twitter Went out for drinks with those nerds I got lost a whole bunch Did you have a GPSps no wow brave uh well i did it the uh someone told me that this was the dad style way which was i planned out everything i was gonna do beforehand printed off a bunch of maps yeah from google maps and then just trusted i would be able to get onto the right road, and I did not. Oh, no.

The day I did the podcast marathon, you had sent me down with a care package for our hosts, Jordan and Jesse. Which did not get received on other end. No, it did not. It's currently sitting on your kitchen table. Yeah. I brought it with me to L.A. And then... You got to see the sights. Which is your kitchen table. Yeah. I brought it with me to LA. And then...

You got to see the sights. Which is all I wanted. I just needed a trip away from home. And then on the... It was a Friday. I went... I had to be at the venue, the comic book shop, at 2 o'clock. So I thought, oh, I have plenty of time.

I will go... I'll go do some shopping in the morning yeah uh and i did and i did have plenty of time and then you're walking down rodeo with a bunch of bags right like i see in the movies some guys carrying a bunch of hat boxes for you well they didn't let me in at first. It's full of dollar bills. Big mistake. Yeah, walking on sunshine, playing on your portable radio. And then I left the mall and I got all my

instincts about where to go were wrong, because I only printed off the directions of how to get to the places, not how to get back. And you can't see the ocean anywhere so you don't know where west is right uh so i was yeah i was supposed to be there at two i left the mall at one and i literally circled the mall for an hour wow and uh so at two o'clock i uh for an hour wow and uh so at two o'clock i uh i eventually found my way back to the hotel i i found the way to get back to my hotel which was half an hour away yeah got back to the hotel

got changed um lost my parking pass so that was 15 minutes of looking everywhere. My pocket. It was in my pocket. Totally. Yeah. And then, okay, so I left the hotel. Yeah. And I. You were staying at a hotel for dogs, so you got distracted petting a lot of dogs in the hallway. I sure did. And then I realized, oh, I don't have my car keys. It's a rental car. Do you not do a lot of things on your own?

Well, I do, but not in other cities where there's things to remember. Where did these pockets come from? Damn you, LA. Were you also in a movie called The Out of Towners? So I went back, got the car keys, and forgot the package. And I got there so late. And I realized I had forgotten the package when I got back to my car. But it was five minutes from the hotel, and I was already so late. I'm sorry i had forgotten the package when i got back to my car yeah but

it was five minutes from the hotel and i was already so late and i i'm sorry craig oh well these things happen these crazy multi-level but i also uh i'm i'm terrified of the freeways uh and highways so i planned all my Like that scene in Clueless. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Everyone has ballets or something. I'm going to marry Paul Rudd. Spoiler alert.

But, yeah, so I had planned all my routes around not having to get... Routes for anyone. Sure. All my roofs around not having to get... Routes for anyone. Sure. All my roofs. Around not having to get onto highways. And so everything was so slow. Is that when you do Google Maps, is that an option? Like you can go quickest or how would my grandma do this? Yeah, you can drag where you think you would want to go.

That seems like the opposite of an intuitive satellite mapping system when you just take it into your own hands. Yeah, then you're driving through some strange Spanish ghetto and then you're like, they're stealing my hubcaps. Not that the Spanish would steal hubcaps. I want to be clear. That is not what I meant. I was referring to a scene from national lampoon's vacation spanish

vacation ghetto vacation also cheech marines born in east la sure those were the two movies i was referencing um but uh yeah it was super fun yeah um on saturday i went to see the paul f tompkins show yeah um and uh that was amazing of course Mr. Bob Tompkins Consistently amazing He hosts his own monthly show And it's like a variety show And the gentlemen from Super Ego The podcast were on that one

They were also I met them the night before Oh what an action packed trip Yeah it sounds great And I had four celebrity sightings and that's something I would like you to guess. Okay. I'll let you guess two of them because two of them are a little... I didn't even know...

Mrs. Poole. Yeah, well, no. I'll let Tompkins. Fine. There's two already. There were actually a lot of famous people on the podcast uh on friday but just people i saw out and about okay okay but one of them i uh this was pointed out

to me uh was a girl from buffy and i didn't even know who it was oh okay oh i think i know who you mean but i can't and if this is the girl that i think you mean which i don't know her name so this could be a long long day well i'm she was on buffy and she's got brown hair she's got hair and a no yeah that's who it was uh i want to say amber benson oh yeah she was the the the popular cheerleader friend sure i don't um't know. I've never seen the show. Don't call me on it on the board. So famous. I'm going to get called on a lot of stuff tonight.

I feel like I've really driven off the road here. So that was one of the four celebrities I spotted. Okay. Okay. So that's one of the four. Yeah. Okay. So I'm going to start with, is it somebody from television? Yeah, sure.

Let's say, wait, which one am I thinking of? Well, pick one. Like, I'm not going to just try and guess back and forth. Like, is it a man? Well, maybe, yes. This is the version of Lost. I'll go with the most famous one. Okay, most famous.

From television? No. Movies? No. Space. Music. Space. Okay, most famous. From television? No. Movies? No. Space. Music. Space. It's from music, yes.

Space. Was it Saturn? It was Neil Armstrong. Okay, from music. Yes. A music person. Man or woman? Yes.

Oh, sorry. Oh, sorry. Okay, man? Yes. Lenny Kravitz? No. Oh, sorry. Oh, sorry. Okay. Man? Yes. Lenny Kravitz? No. Okay. From that era?

What era? What era would Lenny Kravitz be? 90s? 90s-ish? Was it Vanilla Ice? 90s to today. Oh. Still famous.

The greatest hits from 90s to today. Still famous. Nickelback. Oh, Rob Thomas. No, no. Miley Cyrus. Rob Zombie. No, no.

Okay. Preference. No, no. Miley Cyrus. Rob Zombie. No, no. Okay. A rap artist. Not really. Fred Durst. No, no, no. Kid Rock. No, no, no. Okay.

No, I'm going to say not rap. Okay, not rap. Country? No. Rock? No. Metal? No.

Pop. Sort of, yeah. Just pop. Just pop. But he's obviously done- Electronnb oh pop rnb with a bit of because he's obviously done something kind of rappy in his past i don't i don't know if he's done rapping there's been rapping oh timberlake justin timberlake no oh that was a good guess that was a very good guess thank you um oh did you guys guess Lenny Kravitz already? It was Lenny Kravitz.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Wait a minute. Black. Yes. It was Clint Black. Usher.

It was Usher. Oh, it was Usher. Well done. Thank you. Nice work, Erica. That just shows that's the only black person I know. Okay. Well done with your limited knowledge.

Usher, okay. That was the most famous. I don't know if you'll be able to get any of the others. So, would you like me to just tell you? No, I want to guess another one. Okay, we'll go with the second most famous. Because the third most famous is only famous because he was married to Shannon Elizabeth. Who's that, Jason Biggs?

The ugly guy who was married to Shannon Elizabeth. I don't know who that is. Okay. Okay, so second biggest. Not that famous. Not that famous. Not that famous. Man? Yes. Brian Austin Green.

Yes. No, what if? That would have been so great. Television? And movies. And movies. Oh, is it somebody from the Big Bang Theory? I don't think so.

Is it Doogie Howser? No. Mostly television is what you'd do. Paul Reiser. No. I give up. Less famous. Okay.

You give up? Yeah. I gave up a while ago. Let's give up. It was Sam Levine from Preaks and Geeks. Oh, see, I never would have gotten that. Yeah. Okay.

I was going to say Judd hirsch okay i was gonna say naomi judd so you guys one for four well okay well who's the third one but in the realms of going to hollywood and saying guess the four people i saw that were famous that's kind of a wide open bag of possibilities um i can go for a bag of possibilities right now. Did you see Lindsay Lohan's vagina? No. Well, on a billboard. That I know of. So that was a good trip.

Who was the third one? The guy married to Shannon Elizabeth. Who's that? Some ugly dude who was married to Shannon Elizabeth. Oh, you don't know the name. I thought that was the clue. He's been on, like, CSI sometimes. He was probably the murderer. Okay.

And then the fourth one was somebody from B was probably the murderer. Okay. And then the fourth one was somebody from Buffy the Vampire. Yeah. I really just said I saw a famous person. Well, but if a room, like there's three of us here and nobody really knows who she is. So famous or was on TV once? No, no, no. I meant Usher. Usher was the one famous person.

I saw Usher opening for this one person from buffy oh man i really stepped in it with that opening thing i've been all downhill from there i really skin it off the uh so yeah that was my trip oh oh oh goodness though on the the flight home i just remembered he left his cell phone charger there. I have to tell you about the worst person I ever sat next to on a plane. Oh, I picked up from Twitter that they weren't wearing sleeves. Yep, no sleeves. The guy kind of reminded me of Scott Stapp from Creed. Oh, maybe it was.

You were in Hollywood. Yeah, maybe. Maybe he was in Coach. He's not doing so well after that sex tape. No, he's king of the world. Or no, it's good to be king. What was his catchphrase from that sex tape? Something like that.

Suck it, king. King of beers. I think it was, I'll never let go, and it was actually a rape tape. I'll never let go. I don't actually a rape tape. I'll Never Let Go. I don't know if that is that one of their songs. You win King of the World. I win Titanic because I'm a girl. Oh, I see.

Never Let Go. I haven't seen it. You see how I leapt. Spoilers. It's Avatar and the Sea. Okay. So I'm sitting in my seat, the aisle seat, and he gets there and he's like,

hey, do you want the window seat? Well, you clearly want the aisle seat. So I moved over. I wouldn't have. No, me neither. Well, you and I are very different people. Yeah, that really tarnishes your nice girl image you were selling earlier. So he sits down, takes off his jacket, just sleeves.

Oh, no, just no sleeves. Was it a business jacket, like a sports coat? No, it was like a running jacket. Okay. Running jacket. An athletic jacket. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got you. Like a windbreaker. Okay. Running jacket. An athletic jacket. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got you.

Like a windbreaker. Yeah. Like something that Polly on The Sopranos would wear? He folded it up into a pouch and put it around his waist. A K-way. No, it was not water repellent. Okay. But it was repellent.

I would have preferred he wore it. So he reveals no sleeves. He's a big fan of taking over the armrest. Yeah. Taking over the armrest. He doesn't seem to care if our arms touch each other, whereas I am disgusted every time it happens. Yeah, because it's bear on bear at this point. Yeah.

I mean, at least I'm covered to the bicep. My rippling biceps. And he... So he starts ordering drinks. For both of you. Well, actually, they gave him two things of orange juice with his vodka. And he's like, oh, I don't want the second thing of orange juice. So he did try to give me an orange juice.

So before the flight, there's multiple announcements that you'll only be able to use credit cards. Right, yes. That's the new weird thing on planes. Yeah, that's fine. I don't know. I liked being able to use credit cards. Right, yes. That's the new weird thing on planes. Yeah, that's fine. I don't know. I liked being able to pay cash. No? But, you know, you're flying between different countries.

Everything's going to plastic now, buddy. No, but even on a... I went on a flight from here to Alberta, and they said no more... You took a flight. Were they still taking cash? I didn't order a drink on my one-hour flight. Your loss.

So he the woman comes around with the headsets and he tries to pay cash. She's like oh no I'm sorry it's credit cards only. So he buys a headset with his credit card. Next a woman comes around selling food

and he tries to pay cash again. No i'm sorry buddy it's it's only uh credit cards uh and then so he's drinking his his booze and uh he so he starts watching alice in wonderland meanwhile i'm i'm paying mostly attention to what he's doing It doesn't matter what I'm watching He gets bored 20 minutes into Alice in Wonderland Puts on Two and a half men Laughs his ass off

Oh and he's like a young guy Like Scott Statt from Creed Yeah yeah yeah I'll never let go And that was basically it Wow Great guy There was nobody in the middle though No it was just the two I'll never let go. And that was basically it. Wow. Great guy. There was nobody in the middle though?

No, it was just the two. See, I hate being on the window seat because then if the person falls asleep and you have to go to the bathroom, you either have to wake them up or try to crawl over them, which is awkward. Yeah, or you pee on them. Third option. I would have woken this guy up in a second. But it's... You just start drawing on his arm.

The only reason I prefer the aisle, I assumed it would be three seats. So I just picked the aisle because I didn't want the middle. Middle. Yeah. But I don't care either way. My legs aren't that long that I need to stretch them into the aisle. Well, I just... I'm the same.

I'm of the mind of freedom to go to the bathroom at any point. And also, I don't care about the view. Like, I don't like watching as I land or as I take off. Like, I always

just close the plastic window. I like being in charge of the plastic window so I can... Yeah, that's fun. I do both. I reach across to other people and slam it shut as the person who has taken their first flight ever. Then you take their earphones out, plug it

into your iPod that's playing a podcast. Do you think everyone who has the window seat is just full of wonder? Magic. So that was my trip. It a great trip two great trip stories yeah both survived yep god god bless godspeed yeah god got scott step um uh myself i didn't go anywhere uh just stayed close to home yep i uh played at a at an eco sustainability festival yeah sustainability expo it's the continuing um uh what would i call it well you did you you emceed a wedding for money last week yep of two strangers and uh this this past weekend was the sustainability expo so it's

a the tour of graham doing things that he would regularly not for money. Edenism? Yeah. Well, that's next weekend. I'm doing a set at Edenism, and then some stranger blows me at the end. I don't know. I didn't read the contract very closely. I either blow the stranger.

Yeah, I'm not sure who blows whom. I don't know who's opening. I should. but yeah I did a I had to do like all material about ecology yeah about you know the rain cycle what's the deal with that

but you have a lot of that yeah I did a bunch of environmental material and then the first show that I came down to do I I was, you know, it was like one. How many shows did you do? I had to do three shows. What times of day were they? Afternoon.

And what was the surroundings like? Like an expo. Like people walking around, seeing booths. Don't all these booths have tons of. People talking? Yeah. But non-eco, like, isn't the whole concept? Or do they not sell water?

Like, is everything... No, everything there was eco. Like, everything there was on the up and up. Like, there was no... Yeah, there was no bottles of water. Do they even give out pamphlets? I didn't see any pamphlets being handed out. You just have to memorize everything you read.

You stand here, read about the frogs, and then move on. No, somebody just stamps it on your hand with one of those potatoes where you carve in the thing. And then they make an ink and they stamp it on your hand. No, I was supposed to go. The first set I was supposed to do was at like 1.30 in the afternoon. supposed to do is at like 1 30 in the afternoon and then the stage manager was like uh we have to delay you going on because a uh apparently there's a dance group that is going on before you uh no they were called the soda stream dance team how long was their set uh it was about 10 minutes long. And what did it have to do with the environment?

Soda Stream is a company where you get a thing at your house that makes soda. So you don't buy... Like it can make... Yeah, it's got like... It makes seltzer water or if you have the syrup, it'll make pop. So you don't need to buy pop and bottles. That's their pitch. buy pop and bottles. That's their pitch. Or pop and bottles.

I mean, you wouldn't really get it from this dance routine because all the, it was a bunch of little girls. Is it interpretive? Yeah, they were all dressed like frogs. And they were doing kind of a frog dance. And then this one break dancer comes out. This was actually the highlight of the entire day. There was supposed to be a guy who throws a plastic bottle. Like, you know, I hate the environment.

And then there's another break dancer that comes in like he's an environmental hero. And he does kind of a better dance. But the guy with the plastic bottle, when he came out, he drank from it. And then he chucked it really hard. And I think it wasn't supposed to hit anybody, but it hit this one little girl right in the face. And it bounced way off of her face. It was velocity. And so I watched that.

velocity and uh so i watched that and the soda stream and they had a whole song written and lyrics about uh you know don't you know what i mean it's a soda stream or whatever crazy lyrics that seems like one of those ideas that you think is gonna be great but like most environmentalists they're not they're they're also seem to be a little into their health and like soda is not a healthy you know they tend to drink vitamin water and this is like hey do you want that burning carbonation but don't want to harm the planet listen you're still gonna ingest thousands of calories of sugar a day. Why not do it the sustainable way? It rhymes. There was also an exhibit that was a company that I actually, like, I thought a lot of the companies there had really good ideas,

but there was a company that rents you plastic boxes for moving. Yeah, yeah. We use them when we move. Was it called Frog Box? Yeah. Yeah, so their whole exhibit was they had all these boxes and then they had four aquariums with frogs in them.

Okay. And that's all anybody gave a shit about. Like, anytime the guy would come over and be like, so it's the boxes that are the thing. Like, everybody would be just like, yeah, but you have frogs here. And that's all. And they donate, like, 5% to frogs. Yeah. But that's literally, like, people would just look at the frogs and then walk away as soon

as anybody tried to talk to them. Their boxes are really big. Well, yeah, they're a good size for everything in your house. Except if you fill them with books, you can't move them. Yeah. Yeah. That's what I said to the guy. That's not even an environmental thing, really.

Because most of us, when we move, if I i get boxes i don't buy brand new boxes that have been made specifically for me i go to starbucks or mcdonald's and get their boxes and so i'm already being environmental by reusing them that's true but it is a bit of i should have just gone booth to booth and ripped people apart miss nice is not so nice anymore. Get out of my aisle seat and I'd just kill a frog. You're next. But it was like all, you know, it was all like speakers or whatever. So then like I would go up and tell jokes and everybody loved it because it was the only thing that wasn't a panel about the environment. But like it was an area where that wasn't a panel about the environment. Was it in a...

But, like, it was an area where people were still milling around. No, there were seats. Okay. But it was still, like, during my first set, in the middle of it, the mic cut out because the speaker system needed to be used to find a lost child. So you're going to say the speaker system was solar powered. It cloudattered over. The whole thing goes down. But there was a good company.

There was one company I thought was a really good idea. It was a place that would rent you a live Christmas tree. And then they just pick it up after Christmas. And then you don't have to buy a dead tree and then try and find a way to get rid of it. They make it pretty easy to get rid of them. Yeah, but don't you have to tie it to something? Yeah, yeah.

To your daughter and throw it into the ocean, and if it floats, the tree's a witch. Yeah, so that was my weekend. And yeah, that's about the size of it. Also, I want to say, I saw a movie that shocked me how good it was. It was in the city, too. Was MacGruber. I saw it, too, yeah. Yeah, it was really funny.

Really? Shockingly funny. Given that I never thought that sketch was funny. Yeah. The movie's very funny. I always thought the sketch really funny. Shockingly funny. Given that I never thought that sketch was funny. I always thought the sketch was funny. I heard people raving about the movie. It wasn't the greatest, greatest thing. It's funny. That's an endorsement.

Also, another movie I rented called World's Greatest Dad with Robin Williams. Fantastic. And you rented this? Yes. Did you get it by accident? No, because it's... Did it come free with another movie?

It was directed by Bobcat Goldthwaite. Goldthwaite? Goldthwaite. He's worth his weight in gold. His Thwaite. It's great. It's fantastic. It's not the one with John Travolta, is it?

No. What is that one? The one with the gorilla with Seth Green? Yeah, what is that? But that's a movie. Old Dogs. Is that Old Dogs? Yeah.

No. Not to be confused with Wild Hunt. Although I have seen Old Dogs. Not the one I'm recommending. I didn't rent it. I bought it. But yeah, there you go. that's the week in a nutshell everybody let's move on to some overheards

overheard all right overheards uh the longest running of the long running segments well besides get to know us which is a perennial favorite. But Overheard, as you know, you've been here this third time. Lucky? Yeah, third time lucky. I think you're tied with Jane Stanton as... No, Charlie's our all-time. That's right. He's four. He's our only four.

And then we have a couple little... A lot of threes. Do we have a lot of threes? A lot of lady threes. You, Jane, Alicia, Abby. Wow. Yeah. That's an impressive list. Mm-hmm.

But we like to start with the guest, always, with the overheards. Did you come prepared? Did you come packing? I did. All right. This was a family dinner overheard, which is one of my favorites. So I was at Jay's, Jay's family's house, and Jay, who is my fiancé, yes,

and his family, who I love to death. And although it's right now in the family, she denies it, but it does seem as though sometimes his mom doesn't quite hear when you say things. So Jay, it was a big family dinner, and there was a friend of the family who was eight months pregnant named Catherine who was at this dinner. And Jay was sitting at the table and his mom was sitting, was over by the sink in the kitchen.

And Jay looked at his mom and said, where's Catherine? And his mom looked back and said she just went outside and Jay was like and what why it's raining why'd she go outside and as soon as he said I realized there was something amiss with this conversation they were going in two different two different directions and his mom he goes how long has she been outside for? And his mom's like, I don't know, about 20 minutes. And now Jay's like, and I have tuned into the fact that she thinks he said, where's the cat?

And I am now, and you know from working with me that I have a very hard time keeping a straight face. And so I step, and I was now in the dining room looking around the corner. And Jay's like, what is she doing outside? And he goes, and he looks outside, he goes, I don't see her. And she goes, well, she's probably in the garden. And Jay's like, what? And now I'm almost on the floor, like laughing. And he's like, And now I'm almost on the floor, like, laughing. And Jay's like, why is she standing in the garden?

And his mom's like, she's probably not standing. She's probably under the rose bushes. At this point now, I'm like, I start to giggle. And then Jay is like, what? And she goes, well, you know, she doesn't like the kids. She's afraid they're going to touch her. It was like, literally, that's when I lost it. And I came in. I was like, Heather, he said Catherine.

And Jay the whole time looked at his mom like she was insane. So that was my overheard. And now I'm crying because it was so ridiculous. That's like an episode of Frasier. Oh, I wish. Oh, man. And i could just pay see uh because uh jp's got a very he's got a perfect face for being like incredulous like just like like angry confused like why are you saying these crazy things and why is a woman eight months pregnant Hiding in the rose bushes

So that the children don't touch her Oh man That's great That might be the best overheard of 2010 Good stuff Erica Thank you We should have ended with that Ain't no following it.

Now to follow it. Yeah. Hit it, Dave. All right. Let's take our expectations way down. Yeah. Bring them down. Let's think about something really sad.

Something horrible. Sustainability. Okay. When I was in Los Angeles, you know it's the city of angels yeah oh wow there might be plenty of devils in this angel town is what i've heard is that sean mullins rockabye yeah oh wow um yeah so i was in this hotel it was was a great hotel. It's called the Biltmore. Not to be confused with our own Biltmore. It is... It's this...

Or the candy bar, the Eatmore. Sure. Or the Big Turk. It is... I think it's like 100 years old. And it's this kind of intricate designs. And the lobby is beautiful. There's these chandeliers,

and the ceilings are all moldings. Like old Hollywood. Yeah, and there's frescoes on the ceilings, and it's opulent, and they held the Oscars there a couple years in the 40s. Oh, wow. So it's really beautiful.

I stayed there thanks to Priceline. Oh, nice. Thanks, Priceline. Dot com. Yeah. And so I was in the elevator. I was waiting for the elevator. And these two guys, it was Saturday morning.

And these two guys about my age, maybe a little younger uh came to the elevator waiting area and they uh they were wearing sunglasses like they had had a rough night but they you know had showered and gotten dressed and uh and then these two girls showed up with them and they hadn't showered they were clearly they had stayed the night with these two gentlemen and they were all dressed up from the night before and their hair was messed up and walk of shame yeah sort of and they um they were a little vapid and so we got in the elevator and they were chatting and then we got out into the beautiful lobby. And it's this amazing lobby.

And one of the girls goes, cute. Which is not only is that the wrong word to describe it, but she doesn't remember it from the night before. That's what Bob Hope said about it when he hosted the Oscars for her. Cute. Oh, man. Well, my overheard ain't nothing on those two overheards, I'll tell you that. Well, it's a step down followed by yours, which might be a step down. No, it's another step down.

But mine comes from the Sustainability Expo. down no it's another step down but mine comes from the sustainability expo okay and uh as i you know mentioned there's most of the booths were you know we're an organic food company or we make uh you know clothes out of this or a recycling company or whatever and uh so it was all that and then i remember like just like walking along because this happens in every expo there's always one booth that you're like wait a minute did was there just one booth left and then you somehow got it it was like the easy listening radio station of vancouver uh they had a booth but there was no they didn't even try and tie it in they were just there uh playing some of their station and so i walked by it like many times trying to figure out what the angle was and then i remember on like maybe my fifth pass

because i just kind of walked around in a circuit while i was waiting to go on and i heard one girl say either to somebody who was inquiring or to her co-worker, well, I don't know why we're here either. I started listening to pop radio stations recently and The Beat, 94.5, they do this thing in the morning where they will start playing a song, but the first verse of the song will be completely

them doing an advertisement for their station and it'll just seamlessly lead into the actual song. Yeah, they call that, there's an actual thing for that. It's back timing. Where you, where it's what? They're talking right up until the point

that the lyrics start? No, no, no. They're singing. Someone's impersonating the singer singing about their station. Oh, I. Someone's impersonating the singer singing about their station. Oh, I think that's called copyright infringement. Yeah. But then I was in LA and they did the same thing with a Kesha song, but I'm pretty sure Kesha was

singing Really? She was rhymed, woke up in the morning looking like P. Diddy, feeling like P. Diddy with Kiss FM plays the best music in this city. They'll just replace a line with something about the radio station. I assume that that

originated in LA and not in Vancouver. I assume that's the way that idea flowed. Well, it's always weird when you go somewhere else and you're like, oh, they have They have twisted tunes, too. But our guy does the best twisted tunes. They have twisted tunes too But our guy does the best twisted tunes They have Ryan

Ryan Seacrest is on radio down there That's weird He's hugely famous from radio Yeah but have you ever heard him on radio? Yeah He took over for Casey Kasem And on Scooby Doo he took over for Casey Kasem Zoinks, Scoob.

Now, at this ego fair, did they have the eco-friendly sex products? They didn't. What are eco-friendly sex products? Twigs. Yeah. Pussy willows. It's like an environmental thing where they're like, you know how they're always like, how you can clean your bathroom with stuff you

find around your house. Use an old necklace as anal beads. Oh, God. Don't throw away that whole necklace. Oh, man, that's good stuff. Anyways, and so forth. I'm sure we could spend an age and a half in there. Well, there's only five possible sex toys.

Write into us at Stop Podcasting. What have you found around the house? Speaking of writing into us, people do each and every week to the point where we're overflowing with overheards. You can write to us at Stop Podcasting Yourself at gmail.com. And I'm only allowed to read three, so I've got to be careful with the ones that I pick. But the first one comes from Jordan A. My name is Jordan from Chicago, Illinois. The Windy City.

And this is his overheard. I was at work and they had provided some calzones for lunch that day. I overheard the following conversation. Girl one, skeptical. Are these going to be any good? Girl two, well, if it's anything like a pizone, it's going to be great. What's girl one's problem? Free lunch.

Yeah, right? There is such a thing. Agreed. No, there isn't. Isn't that the thing? No, there is. There isn't. No, there is no such thing as a free lunch.

That's the old expression. Have you ever heard that expression before? No. Erica looks skeptical now. I do. As skeptical as that lady. I think that the expression is... Here's your lunch.

No such thing as a free ride, which is why I gave handjobs on the... Sure. No, that's ask gas or grass. Nobody rides for free. Oh, sorry. I always get those confused. But I took an economics course in university and it was one where you didn't need to do any math. And so it was like.

My favorite kind. Yeah. So it was the like there was economics 101, which was the the beginning of the math economics. And this was Economics 100. So it was one less. But it was the guy, the teacher had to have a whole point to what he was doing. He couldn't just teach you a curriculum. He had to like, it was like his thesis.

Right. And it was all about there's no such thing as a free lunch. But I think he didn't grasp the spirit of that saying. So it was all about opportunity cost and what you could have had if you chose to have a different lunch. Oh, that's not what it's about at all. No, it's about you getting... It's that nothing is for free.

You always have to do something for that free lunch. Yeah, you're going to get fucked over. Yeah. Like when you paid for that economics class. Yeah. This next overheard comes from Matthias M. Where I work, a significant portion of the staff have migrated to Vancouver from China. While I was walking into the office today, I heard one of my male non-Chinese coworkers trying to chat up a female Chinese coworker.

Guy, so where in China are you from? Girl, you've probably never heard of it. Guy, maybe I have. I don't know the cities too well, but I know all the regions. Like Northern Region and Southern. I just define all my co-workers as Chinese and non-Chinese. Well, you have to sort them somehow. So I have to sort mine by free lunch and not free lunch.

Pazone and calzone. And this final one comes from Matt H. I live in Bellingham and was on a night out with my wife when I saw this. Bellingham is in Washington. Washington, that's right. Not Washington, D.C. No, it's the birthplace of Hilary Swank. Oh, is that right? Yeah. Oh, she went on to become a

million dollar child. I live in Bellingham and was on a night out with my wife when I saw this amazing real estate sign on a storefront. What caught me was the agent's name, Corky Buzay. I immediately snapped a picture and was super excited. I am going to send it into a podcast, I told my wife. And now I have.

Good story. Yeah, great story. If you want to be a part of the oral tradition that is overheard, you can send it to us at stoppodcastyourself at gmail.com. And if you want to be a part of the anal tradition, use an old necklace. If you would like to call in with an overheard like these next three people, our phone number is 206-339-8328. And clothespins make handy nipple clamps.

Hey, guys. This is Derek from Victoria. I had a super quick overheard for you. I was on a patio on a Friday afternoon drinking some beers. I got up to go to the washroom, and I walked by a table of two middle-aged ladies. They were holding up their glasses in a toast and all I heard as I walked by was, here's

to menopause. A menopause? Menopause. They were shooting an Activia commercial. Activia? What's the poop one? Yeah, Activia. I don't even eat it now. I just take the Activia commercial. Activia? What's the poop one? Yeah, Activia. Activia?

Okay. Yeah. I don't even eat it now. I just take the package and dump it right into the toilet. Is that from your act? No, but it will be. I've never tried those. I'd like to, but I've got all these necklaces in the way.

14 days. Yeah. Next? Yeah. Hi, Dave and Graham. I got all these necklaces in the way. 14 days. Next. Yeah. Hi, Dave and Graham. This is Roy from Alaska calling in with an overheard. I was just getting out of my car and some kids next door were playing on the trampoline, kind of fighting each other. And two were fighting each other and a third kid said hey hey don't touch his

foot his foot sucks balls that's how you get a free lunch a foot that sucks balls um i thought it was like a you know when you're a kid and you're playing and something's hot lava? Yeah. The rule is that foot sucks balls. Yeah. So don't touch it. The whole head sucks balls. Don't touch it. The kids today have moved beyond the lava game. Yeah.

You'd think they would be into it with the newsworthiness of volcanoes. Yes. When I was a kid, no volcanoes. No. Well, you know, Joe versus. Yeah. If I recall correctly. Sure.

Do you guys know that James Cameron is now involved in the BP oil spill? Oh, good. Yeah. Really? Yeah. We've got him on board now. Here's my thing with the BP oil spill. Talk it to me.

They come up with a plan and they say it'll take three or four days to get all the stuff together. And then the plan fails. Yeah. And then they come up with a new plan and they say it'll take three or four days to get all the stuff together. Why don't you just have a few plans ready to go? Like in the gun.

Yeah. Yeah. Like, you know, it's going to take three or four days. Yeah. Why don't we do a plan a day and then you know you have enough resources

to put together a bunch of plans you know on deck. Yeah yeah. They could just keep pushing it a couple days. They're hoping that whoever the third celebrity is that's gonna die will be a doozy like an Anna Nicole Smith. Like she'll come back from the grave,

die again. And then no one will be paying attention to the... And they can shove her into the oil well. Too far. And too soon. Way too soon. It's like a lot of oil, right? Yeah. I've heard.

But is it more than the Exxon Valdez? I think it finally is. But for like three weeks, it wasn't. But now it is. And here's the one thing that does, like along the same lines of that. Have you seen the Rachel Maddow thing where she discovered this exact same thing happened in 1979? No. The exact same.

There was one in Alaska and one in the Gulf the exact same there was one in alaska and one in the gulf of mexico it was the exact it was bp it was the exact same thing and they tried the exact same methods to plug it and they failed and she showed these clips from it might as well have been clips from today it was with bigger lapels yeah well yeah exactly that that was the funny thing that she said these clips might as well have been today and then they showed a reporter with awesome sideburns. And I was like, you just don't see it anymore. No. Or a flower in his little bell.

Well, you've got to hide the microphone somewhere. That's right. Because they used to be covert. One more. Yeah, yeah. Hi, Graham and Dave. This is Sarah from the San Francisco Bay Area. And I have kind of an overseeing.

I think this will count. So the last time I was babysitting, I was babysitting this fifth grade boy. And he had an English assignment. He had to write an essay about Christopher Columbus. And the thing was he had to choose three adjectives to describe Columbus. And his thesis statement ended up being that Columbus was bold, intelligent, but also cruel. And I said, okay, so your first topic sentence is going to be Columbus was bold. And now you have to include examples of how he was bold. And so I was like, okay, go to the Internet, look in your books,

wherever, and find some examples. And I leave to go do something else. And when I come back, he's like, well, I couldn't find anything on the Internet. So I take the laptop and I begin to type Christopher Columbus into the search engine to help him. And when I do this, it brings up his recent search history. And so I look, and there I get to see what he had typed into the search field. And he had actually Googled Christopher Columbus and his bold moves.

Kids don't know how to use Google. I like that during the part where she said she went away for a bit, Erica mimed a smoking action. A teacher went for a smoke. She wasn't a teacher. She was a babysitter. Did you ever babysit? Yeah, I did. Did you ever babysit? Yeah, I did

Did you ever have to help them with their homework? I was mostly in the business of serving a popsicle Yeah Pressing play on the Exactly Whatever media playing device I did One of the houses had a laser disc

You had to help people with their homework? I didn't have to, but Well, you for a while I was like Nanny You were like a Nanny I was like You were like a Mary Poppins Nanny 411 I just was there to, but... Well, you for a while, you were like a man. I was a... Okay. You were like a Mary Poppins. I was nanny 411.

I just was there to help with homework. And with store hours and addresses. But, and he was a grade five kid, and he was really frustrated doing his Roman numerals. And I looked down and realized I had no idea. Like, I'd completely forgotten any Roman numerals. And I just looked at him and he was like, I don't understand what the X is. And I was like, well, if you don't know, I'm not going to tell you. And that was before I had an iPhone.

I would have just Googled it. I was watching someone who couldn't speak English. They were some kind of Asian. Yeah, yeah. And they were trying. Say Chinese. Yeah, let's say Chinese. They were trying to, it was a woman, and she was trying to say, she, where was it?

Oh, she wanted. Erica is self-destructing over here. What's going on? He said it was Chinese and a woman and she was trying to say and in my head i was gonna say sorry i scratched your car but that's only because i have the maturity of a 12 year old um so she was uh trying to say i forget what she was trying to get but she was trying to get across that she wanted 10 of something. And she was, she couldn't, I could understand her saying 10. The cashier could not understand her.

And she kept doing this. She kept crossing her fingers. And I was like, what does that mean? Is she doing, it was like she was doing the Roman numeral of X. Wow. Like anyone does that. Oh, no, no, 10. She heard the expression, when in Rome, do as.

Yeah. She only heard the last part, do as the Romans. Yeah, do as the Romans. No matter where you are, do as the Romans. Then she stabbed him with a spear. And then said, are you not entertained? The Greeks. Well, that was a wonderful.

Yeah, if you do, if you want to send them in, you can send them in to stoppodcastyourself at gmail.com, or you can call us at 206-339-8328. Where to now? Well, last week, we only put out last week's episode at midnight last night. Yeah. It's been out for less than 24 hours, and we had something on that show that really lit a fire under some people. Oh, yeah. Can we... Here's a... Because it's about Celebrity Smelling Bad, and we don't have a theme song for it, but I thought we could use Charlie Demere's old

Celebrity Odds theme song and just put the word smell over odds. Okay. So if I just go, smell, then you can put that in. Okay. And there you go. Will I include this conversation? Yeah, why not? Now play the snazzy new theme. Celebrity.

Celebrity. Smell. All right. So what we talked about last week, offhandedly. You were off key. Oh, should I do it again? Nope. Okay.

I don't remember what the key was. I'm just saying that to be awesome. But we discussed before the podcast who we thought might be some celebrities that smell. And we discussed it last week. Yes. Yeah. And then we put it out and like you said within not even 24 hours we've been flooded yeah with suggestions of celebrities

that smell not all bad but just can i just tell you i didn't get a good whiff of usher what do you think he smells like i bet he smells like some kind of expensive something see oh yeah probably he probably i think he might even have his own scent. He smells like himself. House of Usher. And Erica, do you have any? Because I mentioned it off the top of the podcast. Are there any celebrities that when you see them, you think Gross. Well, not necessarily

gross, but have a powerful smell. I mean, I see Spencer Pratt and I think gross but he probably doesn't smell i see russell crowe and i think he probably reeks like booze right right like when you're around him he probably reeks yeah like some cheap booze and he's sweating it out of his system the next day you know yeah so what anybody like that spring well the first thing that springs to my mind but i think it's pretty obvious to everybody, would be Courtney Love. Oh, see?

That wasn't something that came up. Courtney Love, yeah. I think she probably just really smells bad. Like a sweaty? Like a sweaty mixed with she put bruisey and maybe perfume from like three days ago and she still hasn't showered. Oh, yeah. Unwashed.

The Great Unwashed. The Great Unwashed, yeah. We got quite a few suggestions from people. I want to see what you guys think of these as suggestions. Matthew McConaughey, which we already said. Yeah. Iggy Pop. What do you guys think? Iggy Pop, do you think he would smell bad?

I don't know, I feel like As some people get older They kind of wise up Maybe Iggy Pop I think he would smell alright I'm gonna say, I think Iggy Pop would smell fine That's my guess But 30 years ago he wouldn't James Gandolfini, cologne and cigars

Was the suggestion? Yeah. Is that bad? No, but it's definitely... It's the smell. This is somebody projecting their exact thing that they think they smell like. Someone on the cover of Cigar Aficionado magazine, do you assume they smell of cigars? Or is that magazine a sham?

This month, it's got Chris Noth. Chris Noth? Yeah. Mr. Big. Have you seen the sequel? The month it's got Chris Noth. Chris Noth? Yeah. Mr. Big. Have you seen the sequel, The Sex and the City 2? No. Is that up your alley or are you not a fan of that series? No.

Well, I watched the movie. I never watched it. I mean, I have seen episodes, but I've never watched probably more than three episodes. I did see the movie. I liked it. But I don't think the sequel. Thumbs down, I say. It looks awful.

The reviews are great. Yeah. the reviews are hilarious yeah it seems rather in your face too to like it's supposed to be there in the middle east and being you know like yeah don't go and slut it out this isn't your job yeah we didn't assign you sex in this area yeah uh what about rob zombie yeah probably yeah yeah although even now he probably has has um you know he's probably cleaned up a bit although i'm sure he hasn't washed his jacket in 20 years you you inhaled sharply as if you just had a thought of someone that I thought. Who do you think? Well, here's the thing, and I hate to say it because I really like him and he's really funny,

but I always kind of get the sense that maybe Ricky Gervais smells a little bit sweaty. Ah. I don't know. Just at the end of the day, a little... I don't know. Do people... The smell of, like, BO after a little... I don't know. Do people smell of BO after a day?

I think it has more to do with how clean your clothes are. That's true. There's something about that. I take it back. I'm sorry, Ricky Gervais. Okay, what about Russell Brand on the topic of English comedians? 100%. Stinkerific.

Yeah. I mean,erific. Yeah. I mean, I'm not there. I think he probably, he maybe, you know, covers it up with something, but I don't think he's. No? This is from Andrea A., who's a fan of his and says, he wears leather pants and he's British. The combination of those two things means he must smell like a deer in rut. Yeah. Leather pants probably, yeah. You have a lot of sweat in things means he must smell like a deer in rut. Yeah. Leather pants probably, yeah.

You have a lot of sweat in the undercarriage. Robert Pattinson? No, I don't think so. No, he probably just smells like a loony. Or not even, like, when's he going to get sweaty? That's true. Yeah. He doesn't even go out in the sun.

What about Ron Jeremy? Yeah. Yeah? You think he probably... Yeah yeah that's probably gene simmons was another one uh these aren't great i'm not loving these really yeah you think that none of these are uh some of them but gene simmons i mean you know he maybe he has a smell but it's not a bad one uh what about uh kirsty alley What about Kirstie Alley? Again, that's just anti-fat actress. No, it says on there she smells like cupcakes. Yeah. Somebody says that they bet that Sir Ben Kingsley smells amazing. Yeah, I bet he does too.

You think so? Probably. It depends what amazing is. See, I hate cologne and perfume. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Allergic, I think you are too. I am allergic, yeah. Yeah, I hate that too. But what do you think?

He probably smells like some super exclusive soap that you can only buy in Tibet. Yeah, that's good. Or like laundry. That's as good as it gets for men, I think. That's true. Yeah. This is interesting, though.

This is from... This person wrote... This is from Zach A. He said, From experience, I can tell you that Ray Romano is odorless. I would like to hear more on the elaboration on how you know that Ray Romano is odorless. I would like to hear more on the elaboration on how you know that Ray Romano smells odorless.

Nobody's odorless, right? Everybody has an odor. I mean, if you get close enough, sure, everyone has an odor. Yeah, he would smell like spaghetti. No, this guy made love to Ray Romano. Especially if you get up close making love to them. Yeah, like their hair

what about the insane clown posse I guess they would probably smell like makeup grease paint but those are some pretty good within within 12 hours or whatever a lot of people had people had an instant reaction to that, celebrity-wise.

You put a cutoff of whenever we started the podcast. But I was unsatisfied with those, and I just reached for my phone. And I saw we got some emails. And one just says, Brad Pitt has bad pits. Oh, hey, there you go. That's all. That was the subject of one of them. That sounds like a good British tabloid title.

Yeah. Well, if you look, like, apparently, what's his name? Ben Affleck, when he was up here. The girls at the Banana Republic said he dunked a high heaven. Really? Yeah, he went in to... And somebody told me that this was... That's weird. Yeah, but they said that some

people told me that some celebrities, if they get mobbed all the time, they will purposely be thinky so that people stay away from them. Yeah, that's what they teach at the Church of Scientology. It's one of the Dianetics. That's the one thing about paparazzi lately and i don't know if anybody keeps up on the paparazzi as much but i'm i'm almost tired of seeing celebrity women in bikinis i'm uh i'm at my saturation point where i've seen it year in year out and now i'm like i

i i don't you mean you want to see them in a one-piece or a monokini, or just no... I'm just done with it. It's like, I think at one point in time, it was something to capture. Yeah, but now it's done. They do it on purpose.

I'd love to see a celebrity woman in leggings carrying a Starbucks. That's what every other picture is of. I'd love to see a celebrity woman in leggings carrying a Starbucks. Oh, wait. That's what every other picture is of. Hot drink or cold drink? Both. Yeah, I'm not...

I would like to see that one Vince Vaughn picture where he's eating ice cream. More celebrities eating ice cream is what I'd like to see. Sure. Less bikini shots, more ice cream shots. Are you with me? I'd like to see more shots of iced tea or ice cube. Yeah? Just doing whatever?

Yeah. What about them at the beach? I want to see more pictures of the dudes at the beach. Like the out of shape, like the Jack Nicholson pictures they had of him. Yeah, but that's not fair when they're like, look at these people. And I'm like, Jack Nicholson is like 95. No, that's what I like, though. I enjoy seeing people that make me feel good about my physique.

Yeah, I want to see the top 10 worst beach bodies every week. Yeah. I want it to be a regular segment. In every publication possible. The Governator, more like the Chubbinator. Do we want to wrap this up? Why not? On that classy note.

Erica, where can people go if they want to find you online and buy your calendars? They can go to... Apparently, you're not supposed to put www anymore, but I still do because I'm old school. EricaSigurdson.com. They can find me. They can find me on Facebook. I do still have a MySpace profile, though I never go there. Erica Sigurdson.com. They can find me. They can find me on Facebook. I do still have a MySpace profile, though I never go there.

Yeah. And are you... And my phone number, six... Is there any big shows in the future? Or is the summer kind of... This episode won't be up until the 7th, I think. Do some self-recon? Right. I'm going up to

4 McMurray that's exciting if we have any 4 McMurray listeners we might yeah they have nothing else to do but listen

yeah and spend money on me sure at $15 an hour not you between him saying I'm

anyways we're done take it back I take it back Erica Sig sigurdsson is i overheard was when graham clark said i was opening in regina i but i explained at the break that it was because i when you were talking about being on the road i thought about my experience on the road which was only as an opener never as a headline you should back. I don't think so. I heard from a lady that's sitting next to me that it's terrible. Dave, do you have anything to plug?

I actually don't. Okay. But I opened up my weekly planner to see what was coming up this week. And on Friday, I just have a note to myself that UFC is in town and it just says, don't go downtown. So that's

a good tip for any of our Vancouver listeners. That's on Friday. Don't go downtown. Or just any street. It's going to be fightalicious. You know when you go see a comedian and then on the way home you

joke to each other? If you go see people comedian and then on the way home you joke to each other. Yeah. If you go see people fight on the way home, you fight to each other. Yeah, exactly. No, you fight to random people going home with some fruit. They were about to make a fruit salad and now they've just gotten the shit kicked out of them. Yeah, yeah. You pick somebody weaker than you.

Always. Yeah. They're trying to convey the concept of 10 with an X. If you can find a dad with his little kid, that's even better. Yeah, you get double points for knocking the kid off his shoulders. And then the kid gets an origin story for why they become a vigilante. Well, if you enjoyed this week's episode, please do tell your friends. And visit us at MaximumFun.org where you can check the blog recaps that Dave does each and every week.

And they're fantastic and they add so much to the podcast. And if you enjoyed the show, let us know or let your friends know more importantly. And come on back next week for another scintillating episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself.