Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 118 - C.R. Avery

Episode Date: June 15, 2010

Troubadour C.R. Avery joins us to talk Jim Morrison, Iron Man 2, and screen doors.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 118 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a gentleman who's getting all sorts of hot buzz on the internet for his appearance down in Los Angeles not but a week ago, Mr. Dave Shumka. That's a weird intro for me. Usually it's something...

It's not a thing. Not true. But this time... Oh yeah, So much buzz. Yeah. I was on the I get the weekly blockbuster buzz newsletter. Yeah. And Wolfman's out.

Oh, yeah. Benicio del Toro. And I'm in that. Yeah. Joining us this week, a very a longtime friend that I've known you for years and a guy who's like a stalwart kind of a legend of the Vancouver music scene and travels all over the country

and on June 25th will be doing his own show at the Cult here in Vancouver Mr. C.R. Avery is with us hello gentlemen thanks for joining us Hey it's awesome to be here

It's good to have you here Do you want to get to know us? Sure Get to know us So um What's uh We usually just you know I know that you

You don't do a ton of podcasts Is that Am I right to assume that? This is my first podcast It's your first podcast But you've done radio shows and of podcasts. Am I right to assume that? This is my first podcast, Greg. It's your first podcast. But you've done radio shows and stuff to promote shows, I'm assuming.

Which are usually, typically pretty horrible, I'm imagining. If I have to do music, it sounds horrible. Oh, do they make you play music in the studio? Usually they want you to do one song live. Oh, that's not bad. On the zoo crew? The beatbox doesn't

work on radio microphones. I know it sounds bad. What is... You travel, you're a real... You're the living embodiment of a troubadour. You actually travel all across the country and you play

all sorts of different venues and festivals and things like that um wait what's the uh like when when you do interviews do you have to do a lot of interviews on the road to promote the shows learned short answers are the best to make you seem mysterious, it covers up that we're all idiots, really, at the end of the day. Yeah. I remember Tofu, Tons of Fun University. Which, that's a group you were... That I was in with Coyzen and McGee.

Yeah. We were in Toronto, and we did this radio spot, and Mike's first answer was 45 minutes long. So he went against the... Yeah, well, that's the thing. And then Shane answered the second question, and he was about the same. Really? And then that night, we all were staying at a friend's house in Toronto, and we listened to the interview, and we all just looked at each other

and was like, from now on, short answers. Because we were like, we were lividly bored. Yeah. But you don't have to short answer it here. This is the long answer. Not 45 minutes.

I mean, geez louise. We don't want you to dissect what it is to be C.R. Avery. Yeah, no. But what's going on with you recently? You're in town. You were spending the day with your child. I want to hear about you guys. Avery. Yeah, no. But what's going on with you recently? You're in town. You were spending the day with your child. I want to hear about you guys.

Well, we'll get to us. We'll get to us. Don't worry about that. I'm excited. I don't get that. I hang out with morbid people. Is that right? Well, I don't hang out with comedians.

This is fantastic. What kind of people do you hang out with? Modeling types? Yeah, I hang out with models. Modeling models. Modlin models. Modlin models, sure, okay. We should start a Modlin agency. Modlins Inc.

I work for a Modlin agency. I'd be your photographer in that. Yeah? What type of people do you hang out with? I know you hang out with a lot of poets. And they're traditionally, they're kind of, they're a down crowd. They're a sadder crowd. Big spenders.

When I went to an arts high school in Ottawa called Canterbury. Okay. And I was in the visual arts right i moved from like the sticks to go to the school and uh you know it the visual art people were very you know playing with their hair and staring at the shoes kind of crowd right and then i discovered the drama kids okay and i was like oh my god it was like the volume went up and they were so alive and you know some people would find it annoying i guess they were always performing yeah but i loved it you know i just loved hanging out with them and

yeah so i'm happy to be hanging with a couple funny men yeah but love drama. Do you guys feel like you guys always have to be funny? No, we just are. It's a curse. Yeah, exactly. Imagine trying to deliver a eulogy with our amazing timing. So you went to an arts high school. Yeah. Which is like, that to me, I don't think there was such

thing in my city where were you? Calgary there were alternative programs there was one alternative high school but it wasn't an arts high school it was kind of a

these kids are going to set stuff on fire. It was like glee. No, it wasn't like these kids are going to set stuff on fire. Oh, we had one of those at my high school. Oh, yeah. No, we had that class. No, no.

Well, it was like a separate program for us of like, you know, a lot of... Before scientists understood what it meant to be goth yeah have you heard about those new uh wolfman goths no that's the new because you know uh the goth traditionally would tend towards the uh vampires yeah yeah but i think maybe twilight has had a weird effect but so now they're so the buff goths are into werewolves. No, they're still the same skinny goths, but they've gone wolfy. Maybe the guys who don't have the perfect smooth complexion of a vampire. Yeah, or the guys trying to hide their additional chins.

By growing a gigantic beard. Yeah. Yes. So you went to like an arts high. So like, was like when you acted out in class, that wasn't a, that wasn't punished.

Or was it? No, I mean, you know, it was, it wasn't, it wasn't college or university. I mean,

it was still, it was still high school, but your arts class had better teachers and more facilities. Did you still have to take nerd classes? Oh, everything. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. It was like regular school. Everyone has art class and everyone has drama class.

Yeah, but even in fame, had it you know remember uh leroy brown he still had trouble with english you know he had he had to do the regular class that's right that's true yeah yeah um i'm single and i love to meet is that leroy brown yeah nice what was that his name leroy it was definitely leroy i don't know if it was brown yeah because leroy brandy's the baddest man in all of it yeah combining it all so um at you so you grew up in ottawa is that right or near ottawa well yeah i grew up uh outside of smith falls okay like in the sticks and then yeah um that's where my grandfather is from really smith falls yeah have you been there? I've been through there on a train. It's not having the greatest.

Smith Falls is not a destination town. So were you going from like Toronto to Ottawa type of thing? Yes, that's exactly what I was doing. And then, yeah, you go through Smith Falls and I remember. Peterborough? Yes. And I was with a comedian. And I said,

this is where my grandfather grew up and he was like, there's just no comment on it because it looked pretty rough. There's another, Bruce Colburn from football too. And now he hangs out on 56 Spartan streets. Has he? I don't know.

That was his dumb reference to it was like a humanitarian aid commercial that he used to do really yeah i know james coburn used to do uh ads for a system to uh what was it um beat slot machines yeah that's right totally yeah unarmed bandits was that what that was for? That couldn't have been what that commercial was for. No, it was. It was to help you beat the odds in a casino. That's what James Coburn's last...

Because he's dead now, right? Yeah. That was his last big role. James Coburn? Yeah. He was a... A tough guy. He was in the...

Was he in The Magnificent Seven? Yeah. Or if he wasn't, he was in The Great Escape. So he was one of these tough guy actors and then in his later his retirement plan included endorsing some kind of

gambling system that you could order videotapes and they would send you how to beat the casinos and he would walk out at the beginning and go one arm bandits and then I don't remember the rest of the casinos. And yeah, he would walk out at the beginning and go, one-armed bandits. And then I don't remember the rest of the spiel. Something about a flavor wave, I imagine.

So you, and then what brought you to Vancouver when you were done with, well, I mean, Ottawa was cold, so that's probably it, right? And they didn't have a hockey team at the time. There's a lot of Ontario folks out here. You've probably met quite a few. A lot of everything folks out here. Yeah, a lot of people gravitate towards the city. Quebec, Chinese are the three main rivals.

Yeah, when it's like the Warriors when you break up into the factions. Yeah. Yeah, those are the gangs. We come out to play yeah um but i swear when i first moved here every you know every person i met there was no locals i felt like it was definitely the melting pot city everyone was dave's a local local yeah he's local it took 11 years to meet one how's it feel When did you come here from Calgary? Nine years ago, something like that.

What brought you this way? No snow. I went to film school. I came out here. Like Jim Morrison? Yeah, exactly. I played in the doors. You were portrayed by Val Kilmer.

Yeah, I peed on an audience member. Who was Shannon Hoon? Didn't Jim Morrison? I don't remember. Do you know that Jim Morrison... You're talking about... Blind Melon? Blind Melon guy. That was in Vancouver too, wasn't it? Were you at that show? No.

I read all about it the next day in the sun. And you were like, ah, that would have been the show to go to. Yeah, I love pee. He was opening for Lenny Kravitz. I remember that. Now, so are you guys saying that Jim Morrison never peed on an audience member? No, this is what he did. He exposed himself.

Oh, but he didn't pee? No. But no, there's... But people are saying that he actually put his hand through his zipper. Like a t-shirt. Oh, okay. I see. Oh, so he didn't...

I believe in the Oliver Stone... It was in Miami, I think. That's what they showed is what he did. Miami. Now, you're a singer and poet. Is Jim Morrison good or bad? I don't have opinions on that kind of oh really no i'd rather i'd rather know a comedian's perspective on that i think he's bad uh i had a roommate evil that we years ago we nearly came to blows over me saying that i didn't like i thought jim Jim Morrison was a... I called him.

I said he was like the Bon Jovi of his seat. And this guy nearly threw a plate at my head. He may have thrown a plate at my head. My memory of this was foggy. I remember that was the beginning of the end of our roommate-ship. That's where things started getting kind of rocky. He didn't want to debate it with you? He didn't want to debate it?

Oh, no, he was a huge Doors fan, and so there was always the Doors kind of playing in the house, and then at one point I commented that I thought he was like Bon Jovi of the 60s, and that he got super angry at me. And then eventually we parted ways

my whole whole thing with that is you know a lot of people were like uh i can't stand bob dylan i don't like his voice right and then they see the they'll see some more footage of him in 65 and they'll go before the motorcycle yeah and stuff yeah you know and they'll go that's Bob before the motorcycle accident and stuff yeah you know and they'll go oh that's that's the guy that I saw at Live Aid in 85 like oh

now I get it now I know why people love this guy yeah yeah and I think with Morrison you know

there was I mean there's lots with Pekowski too where people care more about you know leather pants the whole thing with Pekowski about being a drunk and all that. Yeah.

That's more famous than his actual writing in some regards. But that's, do you see that? So I say with Jim Morrison, like there is some, like there's a reason why he was famous. Right. And those, if you ever, if you ever just, there's some bootlegs that they put out and I don't know a while ago where it's live shows and

he wasn't it wasn't pop it was very theater where he would like really go after his crowd and there's some interesting things going on there as a comedian like forget the songs like the stuff you hear on Top 40 Radio but just as a performer that was like this the songs, like the stuff you hear on Top 40 Radio, but just as a performer

that was like, this is bullshit. This whole thing is bullshit. And let's, let's, let's play with this audience. Right, right,

right. You know, and he really did some crazy things and it was cool. Like sometimes the, his, his band would be playing two notes just going,

doot, doot, doot. And he would just be like, walking through the crowd antagonizing people. And you're like, what the hell? This isn't even, and then on this tony clifton yeah exactly and that's what it was and then on the drop of a hat just when you're like this sucks they'd go back to a slick arrangement

i like what you did there i'm not i don't have opinions on these things i want to hear your opinions and then we give them and then you prove us wrong yeah yeah you're like matlock yeah well i don't have an opinion but i do there's there's certain people same with lenny bruce i remember right i was on tour sage francis and we were having this whole debate i was talking about you know uh just inventing a genre or like you know like there's like you know ray charles and chuck right right it's like god you know like what else is there to do and i was like and you know lenny bruce before comedians were like and so and blah blah blah racist and then he came along and it was a whole new style was born yeah so he went right away i was like i gotta check out lenny bruce and with he he had the stuff and he was reading his court trial stuff. Yeah, and he was all crazy.

He went crazy. And he's like, Avery, you're... I don't know what you're talking about, this Lenny Bruce guy, but I watched him for half an hour reading his court trial and it was not funny.

No. But OJ's is great. It really holds up. It does hold up right you know dancers dancing ito well yeah that's what was I gonna

Lenny Bruce the thing about Lenny Bruce for me and probably for a lot of people who are like when they go back through the jokes don't really hold up they don't and that's the thing is it's it's he the way he was talking is the thing yeah you know his style was the thing and his uh uh cultural significance was the thing but the material is about like unless you're really very immersed in 60s political culture and pop culture,

and also Jewish culture, because he would make some kind of Jewish joke, and I'm like, maybe Jewish people do that. He would say something that all Jewish people in New York would know, and that would be hilarious but then some white kid in Alberta, Canada is like, I don't... I remember when I lived in Hamilton in the library, I found

it shows how old I am but it was like cassettes of him live. Of Lenny Bruce? Of Lenny Bruce. It was really young. It was a routine. It wasn't really crazy. Right, right.. It wasn't really crazy. Right, right. And what I loved about it, where I went into spoken word,

the comedian thing was he was making people laugh like crazy. And I love comedy to me. It's got to be live because as far as recordings, it's great to hear the audience. Oh, yeah. And I was laughing. I remember I was in the library and they had to come tell me to be quiet. I was listening to headphones.

But then he would just go off on a more like, oh, God, I read this in the paper, and this isn't funny, but this is. And no comedian would go off and not preaching, but almost like, what the hell is wrong with this? Just do kind of a thing. And I love when Bill Hicks did that. That's true. That England stuff, and he would just go off.

Now, when you were doing this in the library, because this just doesn't happen anymore. There are no listening stations in libraries. Are you sure? No. I mean, Vancouver used to, but it was in a glassed-off area. But I don't think um high schools have gotten the funding to get rid of their uh cassette tapes and replace them with the oh with some sort of

yeah that's true i was because that was i did that same thing with listening with the gigantic you could go to the library and like like let's check out tennessee williams you could go through all this archival stuff yeah i can't believe this stuff hasn't been checked out yet. Dave, what's going on with you? Well, we did a couple of shows, you and I, this weekend. And those were great. Live stand-up comedy shows. Yep.

Nothing better. Yeah, right? For the comedy dollar. I was at Hugh Fikoski's show On Wednesday That's right And there was Talent time A young comedian

That opened up the show And he was performing with you In Chinatown This On Saturday Oh Who would that have been Oh Jimmy Barnes

Would it have been Jimmy Barnes Probably Jimmy Barnes He does He does acting as well Yeah Was he wearing a polo shirt? I don't know his attire.

Very nice. Very funny. He's a past guest on the show. Yeah, he was at the China Cloud. He was the opening bullet. He's the bullet. Who goes first is the bullet. They have to take the bullet. More's the bullet. And then, yeah. Is that who goes first is the bullet?

They have to take the bullet. Yeah, kind of like... I guess kind of like the sacrifice. Yeah, yeah. That's basically it. You're not expecting the crowd to be any good by then. Yeah, so you're warming up. All your jokes are going to get lost.

But someone has to take the bullet. Yeah. Usually whoever's kind of the youngest uh but not always uh it just depends on what did you guys perform on saturday what was the show done we performed at a little place called china cloud that has no air conditioning and it's illegal yeah and was sweaty my goodness was it sweaty uh more people in there than uh than yeah it was hot yeah it was uncomfortable was it more in strathcona uh it was right in the downtown east side right and kind of in chinatown on main street oh it's on main street yeah yeah and it was great it was a great show and everybody

did well and uh then we did we did the laugh gallery on Friday, and that was good. And then you took a breather on Sunday, I imagine? Oh, yeah. I almost cut off my thumb. What? Oh, I didn't even see that Band-Aid action. Oh, boy. What happened? I cut in some cilantro, making a breakfast burrito.

Oh, look at you. And then got a little carried away. And it's the kind of thing, I don't want to describe it, because it's really, you know. Kind of stomach-turning. Yeah, but it's one of those things where you're like, okay, if I had to hear about this, I would throw up. But since it's happening to me right now, I'll just, you know, oh my.

Yeah, oh no, oh dear. I will go grab some paper towels. Now, could you even enjoy a breakfast burrito after that? It was rough because I had to... Well, I had already had breakfast. Sure. I was making... What's a breakfast burrito?

A burrito with eggs in it? Yeah, served at breakfast time, typically. Well, okay, I was having an egg burrito a burrito with eggs in it uh yeah served at breakfast time typically well okay i was having an egg burrito for lunch and it was like two and i was going out for dinner at about six sure and then i cut myself and i i didn't stop bleeding for quite a while oh really so i had to like postpone lunch and then i had to have a smaller serving because I was going to have dinner in an hour. Man, oh man, so you had to reshuffle everything. Yeah, and then I, no, it made it very hard to not only enjoy it, but make

the rest of it with one hand. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. I had this, oh, it was just, I don't have any gauze or anything. Who owns gauze? You know, those people that, you know, when they say like, build an emergency kit. Those people have gods.

My dad still has a bunch of distilled water from Y2K. No, he doesn't, does he? I don't know if he still has it. Oh, man. Wow. But you're okay. Oh, yeah, I'm fine, but a lot of the nail is gone.

Oh, no. You kind of look like a construction crew worker. I thought you were going to say, you kind of look like a big bleeder. You seem like a guy who might be a hemophiliac. No, I think when I see somebody that's missing a chunk of nail, I think, man, that guy's been doing something. He's been building or taking apart a railroad. If he's Chinese, building. Face historical facts.

That's right. That's right. Look up your history, people. And if it was taking apart, then he's probably, I don't know. No, I don't know that I've ever seen someone take apart a railroad. No, exactly. But I imagine it would probably do hell in your nails. I could see someone maybe eating a railroad to

win a Guinness World Record. There's a guy. What's that guy? Have we talked about him before? The guy that ate the plane? Yeah, Monsieur Mange Tout. It's French for Mr. Eat Everything. Yeah, and he's like, he you know, however long it takes to eat a plane. Yeah, piece by piece.

Two years, piece by piece. And he ate an entire... If you could see the look on CR's face, it should be the cover of the Guinness Book of World Records. Just confusion and fear. When's the last time you got a Guinness Book of World Records? That was something in my school library I would go and read all the time.

Oh, you mean like the actual book? Yeah. Oh, shit. Probably when I was a kid. Yeah. Can't you just go? Is there not just an online version? Probably.

But it seems it always comes out in bookstores, it seems, every Christmas. Yeah. And it's always a gift that nephews get from their uncle. Yeah. And it's always a gift that nephews get from their uncle. I watched a thing the other night. It was two chefs competing to see who could make the largest candy skyscraper. Okay, that's not a thing.

No, exactly. That was my whole contention the whole time as i was like a candy skyscraper is not a thing so arguing over who can build the tallest of it is a moot argument sure that's not a thing that exists so who cares who can make the tallest because it doesn't because you and i would never have that argument who can make the tallest? Because it doesn't... Because you and I would never have that argument. Who could build the tallest candy skyscraper? So we don't need a book as a reference to settle that argument. Because there's no such thing as that thing that there's a record for. And, you know, I watched the whole thing.

Sure. Who won? A guy who made a replica of the empire state building oh the guy the other guy made a replica of the uh the chrysler building which is shorter he was doomed from the start yeah they should have known going in yeah he's like well i should just i should give this up right what i should have done sears tower i should have just put a giant thing of rollo's on top What is a candy skyscraper? Like, just different candies?

It was the dumbest thing I've ever watched the entire thing of. Really? Why didn't you turn it? What sucked you in? Well, here's what sucked me in. Because they did it. He hurt his thumb. Couldn't change the channel.

That's right. it was in the mall of america so it was happening in front of a live audience and uh the reason that i stayed on it was because the first thing i saw was somebody going up on a scissor lift uh-huh and putting the top on and the top falling off and i was like well i gotta see how this pans out so but yeah they made it was all out of did people eat it afterwards no they didn't show that was the other thing is i was like let's see all these people from the mall destroy this thing and eat it and they didn't show that on um which is unfortunate because it probably is like sugar that probably isn't like tasty on on the food network challenge they do they get three teams and they all have to make

something out of they all get a specific challenge every week and sometimes it's like the greatest sandwich but sometimes it's something weird like a disney display of of uh you know crystallized sugar and they all have to make it and then the last part of the challenge is that they have to carry it from the preparation table to the display table. So if someone drops it, every commercial break before they go, they'll show you. They'll show you their faces as they're wobbling it. You should watch more food challenges on TVCR. It's on when I go to Vancity. Yeah.

That's the televised entertainment. Vancity the bank? Yeah, Vancity the bank. They've got Food Network. Yeah, you can either watch yourself standing in line or the food channel. Those are your two choices. Or play with your phone. That's one of your security cameras.

Yeah, how do you know somewhere else in the bank they're not balancing cakes? But actually, I was about to, I forgot. My major complaint about not having the use of my thumb right now. No thumbs up. Is no iPhone. Because with a band-aid on it, it won't respond to it. Have you tried to use your other thumb? I've used my other thumb, but sometimes to type, I like to use both thumbs.

Oh, yeah. So what is it? It must recognize a specific heat of a human thumb? If it's a texture or a heat. I don't think it's a heat. Well, how would it know? How would it know? Because you can use it. Can't think it's a heat how well how would it know how would it know because you can't you can use it can you use it with a glove if you're wearing like a latex glove i don't

know about a latex like next time you're at the doctor's office put on a latex glove and see heat it up yeah yeah put the thumb part in your mouth until you think it's at human level i don't know i wonder if you could do it with like uh um like a hot dog if you heated up a hot dog to human temperature what is it 90 96 98 degrees i don't quite remember is it 90 isn't some weird number like 97.6 or yeah i've got a paper 103 yeah so somewhere around 100 uh yeah so if you heated up a hot dog to 100 could you then use it i wonder if you could do it cold i wonder if it's the skin texture that a hot dog has that we crave well i can't believe we don't know the answer of a hot dog the human touch of five hot dogs sometimes i like to rub five hot dogs through my hair.

Yeah, well, I'm sorry to hear about your iPhone problems. But you know what? Now we may have a solution. One thumb, one hot dog. Yeah, I believe that's what they call a first world problem. Yeah, a rich man's problem. Graham, what's going on with you? Yeah, a rich man's problem Graham, what's going on with you? I

late to the game went and saw Iron Man 2 Did you see it? It was terrible It was terrible I liked it up to his car wreck Okay Which you see in the preview

Like Bob Dylan. Motorcycle. Fair enough. The courtroom scene? Yeah. Good? Yeah. But then after that, it just seemed like it didn't go anywhere. Here's the problem I had with it, right out of the gates, is

it is obvious to me that Jon Favreau had zero control over mickey rourke because mickey rourke's character dressed like mickey rourke dresses in real life and i'm sure that mickey rourke was like this is what i'm doing with the character also there was a cockatoo that was in the movie for no reason it was in the movie for no reason but was referenced multiple times in the movie and then abandoned by the movie so you could tell that that was mickey rourke being like this character has a cockatoo and a crazy difference between a cockatoo and a cockatiel uh well this one was russian

okay so i don't know what the difference is a molotov cockatoos yeah exactly uh but at one point right he comes it starts out he builds a thing to and the bill is not very good no it was it was a wrong character like that could have been a great all right you guys have made it clear you don't like the movie but i heard these bootlegs of iron man and uh his backup band is just playing two notes. And Iron Man goes in the crowd and he does the palm thing. Okay, let's talk. Scarlett Johansson is doing music now. Oh yeah.

So let's talk about a band fronted by Mickey. With ScarJo as the singer. ScarJo playing maybe a little guitar. Okay. Robbie Donner looks like a great would be a great bass player oh no doubt no no yeah oh and samuel jackson on drums sure and i would think of john favreau on uh on keyboard yeah see that would be more entertaining yeah

the iron man five that's iron man five um i did one thing that Rourke, like I said, he was dressing like he would regularly dress on Inside the Actor's Studio or whatever. And then he... I mean, he's good, though. But, okay, it was the bird thing that bothered me more than anything. he he's uh at one point uh a bad guy sam rockwell has employed mickey rourke's uh evil genius skills and uh mickey rourke won't work unless he brings him his board from russia and then they bring in the bird and then Mickey Rourke's character, Whiplash, I think is what he's called, says... You think.

Well, they don't call him by that in the movie. They call him Victor Rogo or whatever. Okay, sure. Burt. And yeah, he goes... Larry Burt. He goes, this is not my Burt. And then they forget that that plotline goes nowhere. Later on in the movie, he's friends with the bird again. And then they forget that that plot line goes nowhere.

Later on in the movie, he's friends with the bird again. And he's like... They tried to give him a fake bird? I don't know. It didn't make any sense. It was so distracting. And then, I don't know. Gwyneth Paltrow.

My thing... Oh, Gwyneth Paltrow would be the keyboardist. What was I talking about? Jon Favreau. Jon Favreau's in it. Oh, is he? Yeah, he's in it more than Scarlett Johansson, for some reason. What a shame.

I think if she was in the band, then the Coldplay guy would have to... Oh, do you think? Yeah. There'd be some kind of weird thing with those. He'd be always giving her piano lessons. It'd be weird. But I don't like when they switch actors for a character yes it kills it for me it's like that's not the guy yeah when batman the the second one

was like who's this girl i like it i like it when they do it and then they give a quick little yeah like ron rosanne when they kept switching that the blonde girl they're just like who the fuck are you and why are you at her house? Oh, you're the new actress. Did they switch back to the original? Yeah. They did it three times, though. They switched, and then they switched back. But they made jokes about it. And it's fun. It's fun to wink.

So it was like, that would be a thing that Iron Man would do. It is fun to wink in general. Yeah. Wink at strangers. Wink at the camera when you know. Wink at babies. I don't know what's creepy yet. Wink at strangers. Wink at the camera. When you know that. Wink at babies. I don't know what's creepy yet. Wink at boards. Bring me my board.

The thing I heard about Iron Man 2 and Mickey Rourke was that he, or is it Mickey Rooney? He went to Russia to research being in jail. I don't believe that. I do, but maybe the character wasn't originally from, like, oh, I'm about to go to Russia to visit some prisons, so can we make the character a Russian

prisoner? Is that right? That he did that? Yeah. Wow. I'm looking to buy a prison. And there's a lot of people who do, like, highlight streaks in their hair in Russian prisons, right? Because that was obviously something that was also central to his character.

Have you seen a movie called Homeboy that he is in? Is that... This is an older film. I think it's a boxing movie. Yes! I think isn't that what spurred him into actually becoming a real life boxer?

I've read about the movie, and I heard it. You haven't seen it? No, I haven't seen it, but I heard it's fantastic. So I'm curious. No, I haven't seen it. You haven't seen it? No, I haven't seen it. Have you seen it?

No. I've seen some of his early stuff, and he's a good... The wrestler was great. Yeah, but then he was great in The Wrestler. He was unbelievable. But in this thing, it's not that he wasn't great. It was that it was ridiculous. Yeah.

Like, the whole thing was ridiculous. But this fucking bird plot line that they introduced. Sure, Graham didn't get over the bird. It drove me up the wall the whole time. I was like, why do they keep talking about this bird? And then at one point the thugs take the bird away. Oh no.

And then you're just like, what's going to happen to this bird? They should have called it Bird. Iron Man 2. Bird. Iron Man 2. Bird 1. Bring me my bird. So there was that.

That happened, which was great. Where did you see it? What theater? I saw it at The Oak Ridge Mall Oh really? Yeah, which is like kind of I guess maybe it was built in the 90s?

No, 70s or 80s Really? Yeah Oh, it's kind of a very sad Like there was four people in the theater. The one guy behind me coughed every two minutes. But like, like that. Was it James Brown?

He was the hardest viewing. Yeah, hardest coughing man in Chauvin. But yeah, it's kind of a sad. Yeah, it's kind of. It... Yeah, it's kind of... It's like a sad man theater in there. It's very, like, run down. Yeah, it's been... I haven't been in a few years, but it's one of those ones that everything else kind of got replaced by the stadium seating, where there's no bad seat in the house.

That's right, yeah, yeah. And this one... Still floor seating. Floor seating, bad multip seat in the house. That's right. Yeah, yeah. And this one. Still floor seating. Floor seating is a bad multiplex in a mall. And it's like I walked in and there's kind of stuff, you know, like the posters aren't quite on pace with what's. Yeah, sure. You know, coming soon. Alec Baldwin is the shadow.

Yeah. like there was that and then there was like a uh a long picnic table kind of thing that was covered in a like a silver cloth that maybe there was a birthday there but like a week ago that hadn't you know hadn't been put away and there was was one person. I went for my birthday. I saw Home Alone there. Oh, really? Yeah. Wow. So it's like it's got some. It was when I was 27. You had a special screening?

Yeah. But yeah, there was. And the weird thing was there was an old couple in line behind me, and they asked if they, you know, can I have a coffee, which is now like a regular kind of concession thing. And they said, we don't serve coffee here coffee which is now like a regular kind of concession thing and they said we don't serve coffee here which i was like this really is a it is a it's kind of it's interesting like it's walking into a time portal almost like it's a what it what it was yeah imagine what it

was back in the day um three movie theaters only you know like that kind of sad it's falling apart a bit there's a in the book version of High Fidelity yeah there's a part in it where he's like 30 in his late 30s and he he's single now and he goes to this sad

Merchant Ivory movie with his parents right and he sees another guy a pathetic guy with his parents. And he sees another guy, a pathetic guy, with his parents in a movie theater. And when I was reading the book, I thought of Oak Ridge Theater. Oh, really? Who wrote High Fidelity?

Nick Hornby. Yeah. Is he a great writer? He wrote About a Boy. He wrote Fever Pitch. A lot of books that are made into movies. Yeah, yeah. He is a good writer.

Yeah, About a Boy is a really good book. And there's one about where people are going to jump off a building that he wrote. It's a more recent one. I can't remember what it was called. But it was good. But this was the other thing about that theater. Now that we're just talking about sad old theaters is you know how usually movie theaters like they show a thing up on the screen

trivia or trivia or or some local advertiser there was nothing just dead silence until the movie started so it was just like people like whispering you know like a lot of... Don't talk that loud, because there's no... Everyone can hear you. And even just opening up a snack was just like, ah, it's so loud. Anyways, Oak Ridge Cinema. Give it up. Yeah, right? Burn it down. Don't burn it

down. I'm not condoning the arson. And the other thing that happened on an incidental level was i was at uh canadian tire today because my uh place is a shithole and you need some air freshener i needed to get i needed to fix uh my sink and so i had to go buy parts to fix my sink uh that should be something that the landlord does but they do not so i was going to canadian tire and there was a you know how like some like when you bump into somebody it's kind

of ingrown in you as a canadian citizen to go i'm sorry even though maybe it was their fault but you physically bump into someone somebody on a bicycle in canadian tire hit me with their bike and i said I'm sorry. And then usually in my head I go, I'm not sorry. Why am I apologizing? But this time I said it out loud to his face. I'm like, why am I sorry? You're the fucker on a bike.

It was great to see his face because he clearly – and I thought like maybe – Why was he on a bike? I thought when – at first I thought he was an employee, because it's quite a big store, and I thought he was moving from section to section, but he was just some asshole test riding a bike in the aisles. Oh, he was going to maybe buy a bike. Yeah, and he ran into me with his bike,

and I said, I'm sorry. And then I said, I'm not sorry. You were clearly at fault. Yeah. What did he say? Yeah, just very... What was he going to do? He he was in the wrong and he knew it well i yeah i was wondering where this story was going nowhere no it wasn't going anywhere but the

reason that i bring it up is because that's the first time ever that i vocalized my in like because usually when i say i'm sorry in those situations it's just in my head and this is the first time it went straight from head, out the mouth, to the person. I'm not sorry. This is a crazy situation. Yeah, and you're fucked up on a bicycle. And I fixed the sink. That's the end of that story.

I never... What did the guy look like that was riding the bike? Was he look like Mickey... Like a Mickey Rourke type? They have like... Tat Like tattoos all over? No, just like his shirt open. I'm going to the Antirex and bikes. Fucking right.

He was doing it for fun. He looked more like a Ricky Gervais from The Office without the goatee. Sure. Kind of a pudgy. Greasy. Yeah, yeah. Kind of that look. look anyways i fixed the sink okay what was wrong with the sink it was there was you know the thing the little u-pipe yeah

uh that had corroded completely turned into a v yeah and i i asked the the guy the fix it guy uh of the property hey this thing like it literally got a hole in it uh because i tried to remove it and uh then i realized that the pipe had just corroded right through and so he came up and just put tape on it and i'm like well that's not fixing anything so uh so then i he said oh the what does he said, oh, the plumber. What does he look like? Oh, man. Does he wear a shirt open with lots of tattoos? Basically, we want to know who the guy you know who looks most like Mickey Rooney is. Rourke. Mickey Rooney Rourke.

No, this guy's like an old, old dude, right? So he came in like. More of a Rooney. Yeah, kind of like a Rooney. If we're playing Rooney or Rourke, he's more of a Rooney. Sure. I guess the guy on the bike would be more of a Rourke, age-oney. Yeah, kind of like a Rooney. If we're playing Rooney or Rourke, he's more of a Rooney. Sure. I guess the guy on the bike would be more of a Rourke, age-wise. Yeah.

But this guy, yeah, he just put tape on it and said, oh, the plumber's busy. But that was like a month ago. And I've been brushing my teeth in the kitchen sink. If there are any prisoners listening, you're probably like, oh, that's fine. But I'm not. I'm a free citizen citizen and i shouldn't have to brush my teeth in the same sink that i like prisoners russian prisoners have to dye their hair in this thing yeah and they have to wash their board in the same um so i feel i feel like

i was like i want my bathroom sink back so i fixed it i bought a i i it i had to it took all afternoon because the thing was so rusted that i had to spend hours wd-40ing it just to are you gonna give a bill to your landlord i don't know how that would ever play out they literally their fix was to come up and tape the thing i don't know like i live in a real shithole so it's you know you know i imagine a mickey rourke guy if i complained they would get your rourke guy to come over and talk then you go i've been looking for you yeah here's a bird that you may like um anyways so yeah i'm uh my next project is to build a screen door oh good yeah um there's a uh right next to the Canadian Tire, there's a Home Depot. Why don't you try there?

I went to Home Depot to buy the WD-40. I went to Canadian Tire to investigate. I'm making my own screen door. I'm going to try and build a screen door. Even if it's just like a prop one from a play. Yeah, sure. Yeah, that's the level I need to build. A play probably about the south yeah yeah uh to kill a mockingbird yeah sure glass menagerie or whatever tennessee williams is go to the library do some research on that's right

yeah go get the headsets uh a play version of the movie waitress yeah as read by the movie waitress yeah as read by uh mickey rourke of course um do you want to move on to overheard please overheard overheards a feast for the senses except for touch and smell and uh feel yeah well touch that's touch i'm sorry how many senses are touch, touch. That's touch. Oh, sorry. How many senses are there? Touch, smell, and taste. There's touch, feel. Yeah, touch, feel, massage. Yep. Pat.

Yeah, sure. Squish. Yeah, rub. I was at the Vancouver Poetry Slam last night, and a girl did a poem about her parents are mad that she gave up a job on wall street to become a massage therapist oh really huh well only one of those is gonna come in handy when you're stressed so overheards we like to start as is our tradition

with the guest oh really can I change that I wouldn't mind hearing your guys oh you want to try and change

the entire well I told you this on the phone you said you were worried about your overheard trust me don't even worry

about it because mine is pretty lackluster as it goes and listener keep tuned in because these are going to be some great overhearts.

But luckily, listener stepped up to the plate, and the written-in ones are fantastic. Oh, yeah, and the called-in ones are great, too. So, yeah. Your stars suck. So all the pressure is off. I never said mine sucked. Why don't you go first? All right.

Mine is actually an over-read. Oh, can you do this with your... Oh, you're using your other thumb I'm using my other thumb yeah I emailed this to myself it was an ad I saw on Craigslist and it was someone looking for creative actors

needed for a short wedding video I'm listening the premise of this wedding video There's no mention of payment in the whole Of course not, cake But the video would be shot Presumably before the wedding

Celebrity lookalikes Read lines of dialogue While portraying any of the Following characters And I'm not going to read all the characters because there's about 30 of them. I'll read them all. Okay, I'll read them all.

Snooki. Whoa! And then in parentheses, it'll tell you what it's from or any special requirements. Snooki from the Jersey Shore. Must have poof. Yeah.

The Mean Girls. And theni from the Jersey Shore. Must have poof. Yeah. The Mean Girls. And then in parentheses, group needed. You can't just go in as Lindsay Lohan from Mean Girls. What if you're the Lindsay Lohan in the middle but you've got those puppets on sticks? You know what I mean?

Like the Jackson 5? You're like, we're the Mean Girls. Yeah, the village people guy. Fergie. Okay. Miranda Priestley is the character. It's a character. Okay.

It's Meryl Streep's character from The Devil Wears Prada. So you get the feeling. What is this project? This is more for the bride. Oh, sure, yeah. Bradley Cooper. I'm a big Bradley Cooper lookalike. Who is Bradley Cooper?

He was in The Hangover. Yeah, he's in the upcoming A-Team. He's a handsome man. Which one is he in The Hangover? Is he the school teacher? He's the handsome man. He's Face Man. That's right.

Okay. The Phantom of the Opera? Whoa! That's not a hard lookalike. Because there's no set look. You just need the mask. Do you think that the Phantom of the Opera at any point sings to Meryl Streep from Devil Wears Prada? I don't think there's a lot of collaborating.

I think this person who has this idea for a video has written one line for each of these characters to say or sing zach galifianakis oh sure yeah any uh anybody in this room could go out for that he was in hangover right yeah yeah basically they want to do a hangover slash yeah but if you want to do the mean girls you have to bring your own mean girls if you if you want to do the hangover they'll set to bring your own Mean Girls. If you want to do the Hangover, they'll set you up with a Bradley Cooper type. That's right. Kathy Griffin slash Hoda. I believe they meant Kathy Lee Gifford. Anyway.

Ellen as portrayed on American Idol. By Ellen. Not Ellen from the Ellen DeGeneres show. Sue Sylvester from Glee. Meredith Grey from Grey's Anatomy. Oh, what a fun gag that would be. Simon Cowell, I assume, to put with Ellen. You're fired.

Michael Jackson. You're fired. Michael Jackson. Okay, sure. I'm a ghost. You want to be all five Michael Jacksons. Like the Jackson 5 guy. You want to be... You want to ghost Michael Jackson. Come down and bless the wedding.

There's a lot of ghost people. Oh yeah. You got to Shrek and then wait a minute in parenthesis voice over so clearly they've done the animation already

oh yeah I'm here for the Shrek part I'm here for the Shrek part bring me my board Seth Meyers I'm here for the shreds pretty good Seth Meyers from Saturday Night Live kind of obscure he does the weekend update

apparently the bride must have a crush on him what other reason why doesn't this person just string together clips of all these things yeah and do their own cut out their mouths in post and put in her own mouth saying, hey, what's up? Or just a montage. I'm Shrek.

Live your life. There you go. Keep chasing that baby. Avatar. You know the character Avatar. From the movie Avatars Wild. Let's see. Edward and Bella from Twilight. Oh, sexy.

But you have to do it as a group. And you have to be shiny. Bring your own shiny. Yep. The girl from the Kotex commercial. Oh, I know. Is they talking about the one that wears the red? I don't know. In parentheses talking about the one that wears the red? I don't know.

In parentheses it says, and by the third day, dot, dot, dot. I don't know that commercial. I don't understand that either. The two leads from 500 Days of Summer. Jigsaw from the Saw movies. This is going to be a hilarious wedding video. Do you know what this sounds like? This sounds like the producers of Not Another Teen Movie are trying to get something done on the cheap.

Okay, Steve Carell, 40-year-old virgin. From the producers of Scary Movie, your wedding video. Oh, Danny Zuko from Grease. Sarah and Derek. Oh, yeah Greece Sarah and Derek Oh yeah Sarah and Derek From life I don't even need to read from the parenthesis But You guys know what Sarah and Derek are from

Save the last dance Save the last dance sure yeah Marie Elena And Juan Antonio From Vicky Cristina Barcelona yes, for the big threesome scene and

Rob Schneider from The Hot Chick oh, but specifically don't try and come in here with Rob Schneider from The Animal it's a completely different movie or Deuce Bigelow, forget it we're not interested it seems very elaborate and unreasonable Yeah, it's a completely different movie. Yeah, or Deuce Bigelow. Forget it. We're not interested.

So that seems very elaborate and unreasonable. And how many people consider themselves lookalikes of anything? And also, isn't a wedding difficult enough without trying to add this level of shenanigans to it? Although you're showing a fun video, that's appreciated at a wedding. That's true. When is the casting call they said well they said the uh video needed to be shot by june 18th so still times yeah which one could i do okay um let's see well i mean you can dance like zuko from dandy dandy zuko yep you've got a beard i think the three of us just show up as the as the mean girls sure but we we need someone to be the amanda seyfried part obviously we're the other

three graham you're uh rachel mcadams yeah and you're kind of the one that was in i know i'm lindsey oh you're lindsey oh. And you're Lacey Chabert. That's right. So that's my overseen. Okay. So then should I go if we're going to do this in Bizarro? I don't know. It depends on how he's going to be. Yeah.

How do you feel? I think I'll go now because then you can bring it home. Well, we'll see. Okay. Go ahead. Okay. In Bellingham. Washington.

Yes, thank you. We have listeners all over the world. Yeah. No one knows where Bellingham, Washington. Yes, thank you. We have listeners all over the world. No one knows where Bellingham is. Bellingham can be an hour away or three hours away, sure. Depending on the lineup and your record. Have you ever had trouble at the border? With this face? So, yes.

So, doing two shows. One set up by a friend of mine from Moore, a university crowd and then the place that we usually play at the Green Frog. And the first was this university type crowd. And I was not feeling it and not very happy to be

there. And I was hiding in the washroom having a cigarette. Before or after? Before. Yeah. And you guys hopefully can. You know guys in baseball caps and groups are very loud. Oh, yeah.

They seem like it's not because there's more of them. They're all louder because they're in this group. Yeah. Sure. So that was kind of the vibe. i'm hiding in in the restroom on the john and two of these guys come in and you know they don't have the rest of the pack with them but they're still quite loud yeah and they go in the stalls beside me, and one of the guys lets out this really loud fart. And the other guy starts laughing, hysterical.

But the other guy says, which I thought was quite good, he says, well, if I can't do it here. Yeah, exactly. It's not a boardroom. Yeah. You were talking about the guys with the baseball caps and the loud talking. Dave reminded me on the weekend. Well, we said in the last episode that I have written in my notebook.

Don't go downtown during the UFC event. Yeah. Oh, my God. That's this Friday. And that's this Friday, and I'm working a show. This should be a public service announcement. Yeah, by the time this episode comes out. It will have already come in and beaten bloody.

And will have been beaten to a pulp. Yeah, because I'm downtown. I'm downtown doing a show that night of the UFC. Well, it's at GM Place, right? And it's sold out. So how many will there be? 16,000 or so? Yeah.

And it sold out in 30 seconds. So it's going to be probably another 1,000 just hanging out front. And now, this isn't to paint UFC fans all with one brush, because it's certainly not the case. I know a lot of people, a lot of different types of people. I think Matthew's crowd would probably be worse. Yeah, you're probably right about that. But there's this kind of one percenter aspect that an event like that brings in.

Let's say 10%. Okay, let's say 10%. But they're coming in, and they're going to be here, and they're going to... You don't want to be... I would be all right with being downtown, but you don't want to be on the Surrey-bound Skytrain. Right. Okay. Yeah, that's true.

But that's what I ride at night for fun. What am I to do? What am I to do to wind down after a long time? When Graham said he had a show that night, he meant he performs on the Skytrain. I show people my penis. In the early years, I've done my time on Buskin. Yeah. And I've definitely done rooms where people didn't know who I was.

Sure. But here I am. But think of the balls of the performers on the Skytrain. Oh, yeah. No, I just... Hello, my name is Gary, and I'm going to sing this song, or I'm going to play my violin, and... I don't see them on the SkyTrain.

I see them in the stations. There was one violin player that did that. Yeah. On and off of the, it's not as much as our transit system grows. It's a bit more New York. But that guy was doing it. So will the busking.

And wherever progress is, busking follows. Sure. My overheard comes courtesy of uh now i hear this overheard is great oh we've all been waiting well i you know you know how the uh buzz machine tends to blow these things out of proportion yeah this i hear this overheard is the next night and day starring cameron diaz the the great thing about this overheard was I was having lunch the other day. That does sound great.

And setting the mood. Did a guy, was it a romantic restaurant or a guy came around and blew into a bottle? Yeah, it was a hillbilly themed romantic restaurant. Yeah, sure. Where you gave the Jethro at the door money to play your favorite joke song. Yeah. And you weren't allowed unless... You weren't allowed in.

Oh, sir, you must be wearing a pair of overalls. Yes, or a straw hat. With only one of the things buckled. Here is your corncob pipe. Yeah. Please take off your shoes. But anyways, I was at a restaurant and this lady came in um and she sat down and was very immediately conscious uh because there wasn't a ton of

people in the restaurant most of them were unconscious yeah and i it was the langoliers and everybody had passed out that's obscure yeah i know but you got it. Yeah, brought some pincho. We were sitting, myself and past guest Alicia Tobin were having lunch, and we're sitting at a table. And this lady sat down at the table next and was very aware of the proximity that we were in, that we could hear everything she was talking about. Then she got on the phone. She dialed the phone and then struck up a conversation. And at every reference point in the conversation, looked over at us to make sure we were getting it. So like when she said, oh, so I just saw the cover shoot and then looked over at us. Did you read Flare Magazine? Just in case you're wondering why this face is the way it is and then she goes i know my eyebrows and and then looked over at us again she said well i should have got the pluck

there i mean it was a cover shoot and she did that several times um but i just thought it was a cover shoot and so she did that several times but I just thought it was funny because she kept rolling her eyes towards was she a model? oh clearly not was it cat fancy? not in any way shape or form but you know

she got her eyebrows done or she should have I don't know I didn't get a good look she's bragging about having unkempt eyebrows he said they're the bushiest they've ever seen when i was in uh los angeles uh there was uh um we were having drinks and there was a group of it was kind of a mix between both of your overheards because there were a group of those kind of guys yeah uh from cr's story but they were talking really loud for our benefit that I could hear them. And they were comparing GHB to roofies, which I didn't know they were different things.

to the China Cloud show on Saturday where I was walking down the street and there was a group of people that were talking on the street and then they stopped talking when they saw me and I didn't know what that meant. I didn't know if they recognized me, but they didn't say anything. And all I heard approaching them

was somebody said something, like whispered something, and I thought I was about to get iced. Oh, okay. From a couple episodes ago, there was a phenomenon going on with young men where they would present you with a Smirnoff ice and say, you've been iced and you have to drink the drink. And because we discussed it, it was like four young men just standing on the corner in gastown as i approached them they all stared at me and i was like oh i because they recognized me and i'm like am i about to get iced and i didn't i just wanted to tell but dave very bravely on friday night that wasn't brave well it was smart it was smart. It was smart, yeah. I brought us, I bought some Smirnoff ices,

so in case anyone tried to ice us, we could ice them right back. Yeah, we could ice block them, because that's the other rule. If you have a Smirnoff ice on you, then they have to drink both of the Smirnoffs? I believe so. When did this phenomenon begin? A couple weeks ago. We're right on top of it.

Yeah, it's dumb. But apparently, you know how you're not allowed to drink in public? ago. We're right on top of it. It's dumb. Apparently, you know how you're not allowed to drink in public? There's a loophole. Yeah, yeah. A cop can do it to you. And you have to do it. Yeah, sure.

We also have some listeners who have written in over hearts. Now, if someone wants to write us, how can they do that? Well, I would say they could go to StopPodcastingYourself... Oh, they could write to us at StopPodcastingYourself at gmail.com.

Yeah, you don't want some old lady trying to go to StopPodcastingYourself at gmail.com. That's going to be ridiculous. Okay, this first one comes from Andrew F. Andrew F. I was at a death metal festival and overheard two chubby metal nerds imagine comic book nerds except for ultra brutal death metal instead of comics okay

discussing the album they just bought from one of the vendors who are selling cds at the festival guy one i got the new goat penis guy two they're from peru right guy one no goat penis. Guy 2. They're from Peru, right? Guy 1. No, goat penis is from Brazil. Goat semen is from Peru. Pretty good. That was pretty good, right? Wait, where's goat penis from um oh sorry let me scroll back goat penis uh is from brazil brazil okay okay cool that's why that's why they do um what's the

brazilian martial art uh oh um Oh, capoeira. Capoeira. Kumite. Kumite. All right. That's what you say when someone says capoeira. You say kumite. All right. Gesundheit. This is from Michael P. Michael P. was at Subway.

A couple walks up to the counter and is staring at the menu for at least two minutes. subway. A couple walks up to the counter and is staring at the menu for at least two minutes. As if in deep thought, the lady asks the sandwich maker in all seriousness, what's the difference between the chicken and the turkey?

The sandwich maker immediately deadpans, well, one is made of turkey. Pretty good. Pretty great. Pretty great. Pretty great response. Yeah. If you go to Subway, you know that they're not called sandwich makers.

Yeah, they're sandwich artists. Yeah, for a reason. In Saskatoon. Saskatchewan. Saskatchewan. Saskatoon, Saskatchewan. I like to say the broader name of the place Calgary

Bellingham, Washington, Calgary, Alberta We were playing at this Italian restaurant beside a subway And Noah Walker Went out for a cigarette before we played And the subway was Then closed And one of the sandwich

Artists And her boyfriend were having sex on the counter. Whoa! Really? We're talking like... In front of the sneeze guard or behind the sneeze guard? We're talking a crowd of people that were out having cigarettes were all just standing in front of the glass. Wow.

So like where they make the sandwiches? Or where they order the sandwiches. All I know is he comes running back in from a cigarette going, oh my God, there's two people having sex in the closed subway. It is one of the more romantic fast food trips. Yeah, it's better than Quiznos. You'll burn yourself. Have you ever witnessed strangers having sex before? Yeah, on the transit.

I've seen it. Okay. In Calgary. I mean, I've witnessed close friends of mine. And I was paid to sit there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Work is work. Yeah, I've seen it a couple times.

I remember... Is it hot? No, it's not. I don't think so. Because it's usually like, you're like, I'm going to get caught. Like, they're going to stop and then they're going to come and kill me. They're going to beat me with their penis. But I remember when I was like a kid and, you know, you're like read Penthouse Forum.

You're like, well, this stuff goes on all the time. Yeah, sure does. I just need to stay up later. Yeah, I remember. Yeah, I remember seeing it on transit. And I was like a teenager. And it was a drunk couple that just kind of like a makeout session just went like too far yeah it just went to the dry humping became wet humping

yeah it was crazy and it was a friend of mine and i were sitting there and we were like they were clearly not uh you know intimidated by having people watch. And it was so like... Should they have been? Well, we were pretty googly-eyed. I don't know if that would intimidate or encourage. But man, oh man, it was crazy. Did they finish? No, because what happened was when they came into the station, there were transit guards.

So you need a special ticket to do that. Yeah, sure, You need to upgrade. CR, have you ever seen any? The most disturbing thing, I was living right on Commercial Drive by the old Lacana. What would that address be? Which one, sorry?

You remember Lacana? No. Just a couple down. It was a sex club. The Reach Medical Center, that building. Oh, yeah. Okay, I know the area. Right beside Grandview Park.

We lived in an apartment on top. And I came home, I think, from the old Laugh Gallery. The Laugh Gallery, yeah, yeah. But that venue. Yeah, yeah. What was that called? Elko Cal. Elugh Gallery. Yeah, yeah. But that venue. Yeah, yeah. What was that called? Elko Cal. Elko Cal.

Yeah. And there was a dude on the, you know, there's the park bench there. Just masturbating. Oh, man. And my front door was right there. Oh. And it was just like, he looked at me and like. I was like.

How to keep walking. I couldn't even go home. I couldn't even. Yeah. I couldn't even. Yeah, he left like early. So that was. Or maybe it was. The last written in overhead comes from Patrick S. Patrick S.

So I was in line at the local Chipotle Burrito restaurant. And I noticed that the guy in front of me was dressed in hilariously stereotypical hipster fashion. A fixed-gear bicycle with him in line, Catholic pants, converse beard, the works. Catholic pants? Calf-link. Okay. Yeah, Catholic pants.

Then the lady making his food asks him, what does that mean? I look over and see she's talking about a tattoo he has on his forearm which is just the time. 6.15. He mumbles something and she says, what?

And he repeats a little louder, that's the time I got it. Maybe I'm making assumptions but it seemed like he was getting tired of having to give that explanation. Got it. The time? The tattoo. Oh, the time you got his tattoo. It took me a minute to figure it out when I first read it.

But he went in, it was 6.15, got the tattoo, has been explaining it ever since. That's awful. Like Hootie and the Blowfish, right? It's a dumb idea and just kept getting dumber over the years. I heard a poet on Sunday, a cat from Vermont, and he said, the difference between a hipster and a hippie is the way they wear their bandana.

Oh, right. Okay. I thought about that. That didn't make sense. Bandana on head for the hippie, and then on the neck for the hipster? Or in the pocket. Or maybe how wide you have it. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Oh, that's about right. We discussed this a couple, like maybe a month ago, about how hipsters hate being called hipsters. Oh, yeah. Yeah, they hate it. Also, you know who also hates being called hipsters? Non-hipsters. Who does like being called a hipster?

Because it used to be a term of somewhat endearment in that you were hip. Yeah. That's what it meant. Name someone that, when you... Like, even if it was 10 years ago, that was a hipster, and it was like, they were cool with that. Can you name someone that... That wanted to be that? No, that had the...

That, you know, under their... Like somebody who would want to be called a hipster? Is that what you're asking? Or you know how someone... That was their reputation, that they were a hipster. And it wasn't a negative connotation. Would that be like in the 80s? Could someone be called a hipster?

I just remember on Seinfeld, someone called Kramer a hipster doofus. Yeah, and he was cool. Yeah. He had a lot of good things going on. Sure, the character. Has it always been a negative connotation? No. No, I think a hipster used to mean, in the 60s, it was that you knew what was hip.

If you knew where to go, that was cool. So when did this turn into a phrase for people that live on Main Street? When people started getting tattoos that said 650. Yeah, sure. He should have said something about Yuma or something like that. Some sort of time thing. Yuma? Yeah, it was the train I took to Yuma.

It's Steve Austin's second most favorite Bible verse. We also have some overheards that have been called in by listeners, and if you would like to call us, call in an overheard to us, or just call in and say hello, we got a great phone call from a guy named Abe today. Hey, Abe, what's up? Just had some nice things to say. What a great guy.

Our phone number is 206 339-8328. That's about right. This is a little break music while we wait for the iTunes to load up. Hey, Graham and Dave. It's Kyle from Tennessee, and I got an overheard for you. I was just in Target, and these two ladies were talking to each other, and this was a conversation.

So blood was not just pouring, but shooting out of his neck. And the blood got all over my new brick wall. To which the other lady replied, oh, no. Oh, dear. Oh, no, your new brick wall. Oh, no. I would think that would give a brick wall some character. Yeah, especially if it's red brick. Yeah, sure. Brick walls

are lacking character. Oh, no. What do you say? Right? How? Yeah. But you put in your new screen door. Yes. You know, brand new, you know, you just, you went and you, you know, did some Tennessee Williams research of Sal. Yeah, yeah. And you're like, I'm a comedian, but I'm, you know, you just, you went and you, you know, did some Tennessee Williams research of Sal.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you're like, I'm a comedian, but I'm, you know, I'm going rugged. I'm doing it myself. And then, you know, two homeless people getting in on it. Did some sort of knife fight. Happened, spoon guy splatters some guy's forehead. Yeah, I think it was spoon man. And you got blood splattered all over your work.

What would you say i would be pissed you're right you're right when you're right you're right i would be furious damn you damn you spoon man the thing all today is there was a gigantic caterpillar climbing up the side of my house i heard about this yeah you did it's true i was uh i didn't hear about it um no it well the thing was is i was like where are you going caterpillar because the crows Yeah, he did. It's true. I didn't hear about it. No, well, the thing was, I was like, where are you going, Caterpillar? Because the crows are going nuts right now. They're protecting their nests, and they're gathering up whatever food. And so I was like, Caterpillar, you are a sitting target.

And then I came back out, and it wasn't. And it was a butterfly. Yeah, it was a quick change. But it was gone, and then it was just on one of the stairs and i was like oh caterpillar's dead and i poked it but it was still alive and i was like caterpillar you fucking you're gonna get eaten and then when i was uh coming to meet you it was still there only it was hiding in a different corner caterpillars really uh you talked to the caterpillar how how long today look i've got a

lot of troubles when i came down to this problem it took me all day to fix this thing it's probably a five minute job if you know what you're doing i'm like that too where i uh i sometimes i'll just want to do something by myself or want to start a project. And I'm awful at it. My primary goal is to do the project. My second primary goal is that nobody sees me do it. Yes. But then, I don't know. This caterpillar and I, in a movie, our endings would be. Yeah, this is very Walt Disney.

This was like. Yeah. It would mean something. But in real life it doesn't. The caterpillar maybe is probably being eaten by a crow as we speak. Anyways. Oh dear. Next call. I'm sorry.

Hi, Stop Podcasting Yourself. This is Dan from Denver, Colorado. And I've got a thing that could double as a people in your neighborhood or an overheard or both. If you use it, you can use your best judgment. I trust you. So there's this guy when I was in college.

I used to hang out at this coffee shop across the street from campus and do my homework there and stuff. And there was this guy who came in all the time. He's like an older guy, probably like, well, I guess maybe mid-30s, late-30s, something like that. Ponytail, kind of world music-y kind of guy, lived in his van, knew how to play the didgeridoo. And he'd always have these conversations that were really loud,

like louder than necessary, private conversations. And he was the kind of guy who, you know, was the expert on everything. Like any given subject, he had something very smart, well, you know, very like pseudo-knowledgeable to say about it. So we all called him Professor Knowledge. And my favorite Professor Knowledge overheard was this one time when he was chatting up this cute college girl. She was kind of cornered looking like she didn't really want to be in the conversation and he just kept talking to her about India and how it was a great, beautiful place and how he just really admired all the people and their love of family

and their tight-knit community and their spirituality. And so she says, well, have you been to India? And he kind of pauses for a second, and then he says, many times, in spirit. It's the cheapest way to travel. Yeah, yeah. I've built up so many frequent flyer miles in spirit. I have another overheard.

Yes. That I just have very short. Yeah, jump in. In kind of a hippie restaurant. Sure. On the drive. And two girls came in that knew one of the customers and the girl working behind the counter.

Sure. And they were like, did you get it? Did you get it? And they go, oh, we don't know. The landlord was kind of weird. And he asked if we were single or if we had boyfriends. single or if we had boyfriends and and they said you know like uh because you know the landlord said because it's kind of small right before people you know two girls is fine before and then the girl said imagine if you found out there were six of us and the guy was like oh my and the

girl behind the counter kind of giggled and i was was like, are they all just like a big kind of. Yeah, like a commune kind of situation. What's going down? Six of what? Yeah, if you brought a baker's dozen of muffins, I bet you could have found out for sure. Half dozen of the other. I got the hell out.

And finally, I told you we had some good overheards. Oh, they're out. And finally, this is... I told you we had some good overheards. Oh, they're great. Well, I like this one. Hi, Graham and Dave. My name is Devin. I'm calling with an overheard. I was hiking this weekend out in the mountains of Virginia where people are a little bit

kind of redneck, I suppose you could say. And I was making a stop to grab a bite to eat, and I was sitting in my car eating with my windows down, and I was outside of a Food Lion grocery store, and there was this little kid and his mom that were coming back from the grocery store, full cart and everything, and the mom was loading stuff up, and the boy was probably

maybe 5-6 years old and he was clutching a watermelon and his mom tried to take the watermelon and he was like don't touch my melons makes me want to skin somebody's face off

oh man that's how Gallagher got started It makes me want to skin somebody's face off. Oh, man. That's how Gallagher got started. Melons made him so mad. But that's great for you guys' podcast. That's two calls from very far away. Yeah. Where were those two from? That one was Virginia.

Virginia. It seemed more like it was Virginia. And I forget who else. The one we just before was from far away, too. It was from India in spirit. Yeah, India in spirit. If you want to call us, you can call us at 206-339-8328. Or if you want to write to us, you can write to us at stoppodcastyourself at gmail.com.

You can write to us at StopPodcastYourself at gmail.com. Now, a couple weeks ago, Dave and I were talking about celebrities. How do they smell? Is how we got into it. And then we asked you, the listener, to send in suggestions of celebrities you thought that would smell bad or smell specific or smell great. And you answered in droves. So many emails. How many did you guys get? Oh, who's counting?

Dozens. Yeah. Dozens of people weigh in. In the one to two dozen range. Bakers or otherwise. But yeah, there's a lot of people that wanted to weigh in for that. Who can blame them? No, well, goodness.

Should we play that theme? Is the theme, did we doctor a theme? Sure, let's load it up. Celebrity, celebrity. Smell. All right, there we go. So here's some people. I won't say who who wrote what you know it's just all the hodgepodge she said yeah exactly so um first uh do you have any thoughts on this cr

yeah is there any celebrity that just when you look at them you it conjures up a specific smell or you think they would smell awful or great uh because that seems to be this whole category has been expanded much beyond our initial thing was celebrities who smell bad. Yeah. Was our initial thing. But now there's all sorts of different opinions on it. I think as a whole, maybe it's their shampoo, but the female race, every time I hug someone

with a female prostration frustration they always smell fantastic yeah i bet you beyonce smells great i mean jay-z's wife yeah jay-z's wife was you couldn't remember her name before the show it's like what's her name jay-z's wife um but here's some here's some uh so thanks for weighing in female smell that's all I could say. So when you say celebrities, I'm just thinking. I will say one thing. Dudes have no smell and ladies smell good.

Dudes can have bad smells. Bad smells, but not great smells. You met a dude, you go like, oh, you smell great, dude. Sometimes an old man might surprise you. Oh, yeah. The older gentlemen do have style. Sure. Or they have given up washing.

Yeah. It's one or the other. It can go one way or the other. Not too many women stink, though. No. I've been around some. Yeah, I've been around a couple myself. In Grandview Park?

Yeah, well, they were maybe like punk rock kind of girls. For me, it's Europeans. My favorite, not to discredit. No, go ahead. My favorite moment of comedy was when Fikoski was doing that show at the Cobalt. That's Paul Anthony's alter ego. Yeah. Or maybe it was Paul Anthony.

But remember, the whole thesis of the show was they were going to say racist, sexist things, and people were going to throw bottles at them. Right. They did bring... I remember one show where they brought rotting tomatoes. It ended up... People didn't throw bottles, but they threw stuff at them, and they told bad jokes. But it was at the Cobalt.

And I believe Dylan is the comedian's name. Is it Dylan? Dylan Reimer? He was one of the co-hosts. Yeah. And he's... And I've seen him... Past guest, Dylan Reimer? He was one of the co-hosts. Yeah. And he's... Past guest, Dylan Reimer. And I've seen him a few times.

I display different things, and I always thought he was really funny. And he's kind of bombing. Yeah. Because it's a tough crowd. Sure. And you can see it in his face. He's like, oh, I got to switch it up. And he says, you know, I used to live on commercial, but I got tired of hippies, and they stink.

Kind of the same issue I have with punks and it's all punks oh man he's like you know yeah punky punks and hippies both stink and then he goes um and every year it gets real hostile and goes i just have one question for you all what part of not showering is sticking it to the man and it was funny all the punks looked at each other like yeah we're the worst um so some of the people who you know that they've weighed in on uh do you guys know who martin star is yeah who's martinarr? He was also from Freaks and Geeks. Yeah, he was the guy in Knocked Up who had the beard who wouldn't shave.

Okay, so this person says I think that just on looks Martin Starr smells bad and for some reason through some sort of reverse psychology I believe that Zach Galifianakis would smell great. Can you confirm that? I can confirm that. He smells great.

Yeah. He smells like somebody who cooks, you know? Yeah. It smells like not like a cologne or anything, but something that you would like to smell. Yeah. What did the other guy play on Freaks and Geeks?

Who was he on that? He was the tallest of the tallest of the the geeks martin star yeah yes um don't quote yeah somebody said glasses yeah somebody said that um brad pitt uh stinks yeah and. And quoted numerous sources, all sorts of links to different web pages. Is it like a Petruli kind of hippie? No, no, like a B.O. kind of stench. And the great link that they sent was there was the list of the top 10 celebrities that smell.

And it was all individual celebrities for nine of them. And then number ten was Metallica. Somebody wrote, I'm convinced that Amy Winehouse smells like an ashtray with a single shot of malt scotch poured in it. Sure. That's what I smell like. Is that what you smell like?

So you and Amy Winey winehouse uh no but you were saying earlier when we were talking about the smell like you smoke cigarettes so you can't you can't often smell yeah when you guys ask me to like okay think of a celebrity and what they smell like and i just i have no idea no fair enough that's all right these are but we did get a lot of uh somebody said that they think whoopi goldberg probably smells good possibly like gingerbread okay yeah i like that i and i i buy or milk like oh really because that famous photograph for her in the tub really i don't remember that oh my god that's uh the uh was it a got milk ad? No, the famous photographer.

Annie Leibovitz? Yes. She did a thing of her in the tub of milk. Tub of milk. Google it. Have you ever... Well, I don't take baths anymore. That's just a waste of time. We all stink right now.

The idea of one of them milky or rose petal-y baths. I think I'd come out fresh as a daisy. Or milk. Yeah, fresh as a daisy cow? Is that a thing? Dairy cow. You mistyped. Also, somebody weighed in and said,

Jesse Thorne, who is kind of the head of head of maximum fun conjures up an olfactory image of soap and freshly mown grass sure why not you know the michael jordan created his own uh scent uh what at the height of his popularity and i watched a special about him putting together the scent and two of the scents that he used in it was a leather baseball mitt and the other one was freshly mowed grass i would say was that was that a cologne that he was pushing yeah how did it do i don't know i mean was the bottle shaped like him it was shaped like a sneaker it was like and then it said on the box does not smell like a sneaker. And then it said on the box, does not smell like a sneaker. Like they have Adidas cologne. Like why, what, I don't know what a good cologne or a bad cologne smells like.

I don't know. If you're somebody who all day long I dream of sex. I dream of smell. Yeah, smelling good. All day I dream about smelling. This person writes, for what it's worth, I have a feeling that Justin Bieber smells like he bathes in hand sanitizer. It's not worth much.

This person, I think, really hits it on the head. Says, number one with a bullet, Kid Rock. No doubt. That guy is a smell factory. Just to look at him, every part of him, stink-a-roo. Stink-a-roo. Somebody also wrote Billy Bob Thornton. Yeah, probably.

You know who I think probably smells? Gerard Depardieu. Oh, yeah? Gerard Depardieu. How about this? tilda swinton has got to be completely odorless i would buy that yeah she's a nerd this one i think was possibly my favorite and because it's my favorite i'll say it's from brian f i may be way off base but what about willie the dad from elf p.u old man smell i don't know but it's something about that uh rubbing alcohol

alien somebody wrote i think that jack nicholson smells like spaghettios and fresh diapers like not soiled fresh diapers. Like a fresh diaper. No. A soiled diaper is, by definition, not fresh. Touche. But he's not there yet. He's not in the diaper phase. Hey, let's...

That's true. Dennis Hopper passed away. Yeah. Let's have a moment. That's good for podcasting. Yeah, I couldn't believe that. I found that on Saturday. What couldn't you believe about it

did he live that long well no that he had passed away you know like Nicholson is still there's a lot of them are still that's a certain clan I'm a big Neil Young fan and those guys were intertwined quite a bit

I feel like that'll be a really big day when Jack Nicholson passes away. I think that'll be a really shocking... Because I think for... Unlike Dennis Hopper, who did age on screen and off, Jack Nicholson still plays the roles Jack Nicholson played when he was 20. Yeah. Even though he's an old man.

So when he passes away. Yeah. I think people are going to be shocked. They're going to be like, it could be mean. I saw Dennis Hopper in an episode of Entourage. Yep. Do you remember that? They watched soccer.

And he looked pretty good. Yeah, he had like a sudden he sudden yeah cancer he there was somebody i remember somebody posted on a blog a photo of him receiving his star on the walk of hollywood with the he looked great no he didn't he looked yeah he looked like he was about to keel over and it was a week later that he died oh wow so the photo of him like they was with the uh subheading i don't think dennis hopper has a lot of time i don't think dennis hopper is hopping doing a lot of hopping um all right so this is the last uh entry of the the smell ebrities but uh uh this is from mikey wolf who's a fellow comic here in Vancouver.

While working as a PA on Psych, this is people that he actually got to smell. On the USA program Psych. Psych. Ernie Hudson smells like Brut. Okay. Brut. Yeah, from Ghostbusters. Ernie Hudson.

Brut from convenienceience Stores. From magazines. Tim Curry smells like cigarettes. And we're without Curry. And John Amos from... John and Kate plus Amos. Yeah. Smells like dreams come true.

That's from Mike Hewitt. Who is John Amos? He was in Die Hard. He was on the West Wing. He's been in... If you saw a photo of him... Was he in Freaks and Geeks? He may have had a cameo in Freaks and Geeks. Alright.

But those were all good. I think those are all really good suggestions and well thought out suggestions this time around. Well, you know what? Who we never mentioned. Cause we were looking for, for Oscar winners who smelled. Oh, somebody said,

or a seventies era, Marlon Brando. Right. Um, I think a couple of people, uh, I bet he always smelled good. You think he always smelled good?

Yeah. What do you think he smelled like? Sex. Sure. On a sky train. No one is private island. But someone, a couple of people suggested Peter Jackson. Oh, yeah, Peter Jackson.

Yeah, he looks like a... Big sweaty nerd. Yeah. Big sweaty nerd. Big rich sweaty nerd. Yeah, so. Yeah, that's true. You think your sweat don't stink?

But yeah, if anybody else has some well-thought, well-tuned ideas on that topic, you can send them to stoppodcastyourself at gmail.com. Also, I've been collecting up things. If you have a hilarious prank, if you have a neighborhood nickname, if you have, I can't remember what else. There was some other request by a listener of something that we haven't done. A stunt casting that would be really great to do we'll accept all those things and uh cr we said off the top of the show you're doing a show on june 25th yes at the cult here in vancouver

so uh where can people get tickets if they want to check this out. You can get it at the the Colts box office or online. You go to CRAV.com if you go to my website there's a link to their webpage. They no longer do Ticketmaster which is awesome. So yeah, you just either go to the Colts

or go online to get them. And people can find you at CRAvery.com. And also, are you going to be going on tour in the near future? Will that be also on the... Anything anybody needs to know, they can find it on the website. Yeah, it's going to be a great summer. You know, there's some...

I'll be heading on to Ontario for some... Ontario for people, us in BC, it's its own planet. Yeah. It's its own country. Yeah. Ontario, there's just... On the other side of the world. Well, no, I just mean more every 20 minutes,

there's another place to play. Yeah. You know, like, it's just the cities packed into Ontario. Yeah. With us, it's like, oh, let's drive nine hours to Nelson and do a show. So yeah, I'm going to Ontario. It's going to be a good summer festival.

If you haven't had the pleasure of seeing C.R.A. Avery live in person and you happen to be in any of the towns he's playing in, do yourself a big favor and see him live. Because it's a treat. It is a treat to see him live. And I actually, last time I called you up to do something crazy was I called you up to be in a music video.

That's right. For a folk singer. So I think that's the song you guys should play. At the end of the show? Okay, we'll play that at the end of the show. I'm just going to give a shout out to my girlfriend. Oh. Go ahead.

A listener to the show. Yeah. Give a shout out to my girl there Toni Hurston I know she's listening boom chicka boom good shout out and Dave do we have anything

we need to plug? I certainly do not I don't either but if you want to find us oh I know one thing. What's that? Graham Clark is performing with a very, very amazing spoken word artist from Oakland, California.

June 26th. June 26th, called Lewd and Crude. Yeah, Lewd and Crude at the Rio Theater. Very great place. Oh, and I'll be at the UFC event.

They will be fighting Rampage Jackson. Were you guys, were you jokesing or are you in this movie? What movie? You were talking at the beginning. Some Wolverine joke. Oh, no, no. I wasn't in any movie. I was just in LA

on the internet. Have either of you guys been in any feature films? No. I have not. I've been in a couple indie things. Oh, yeah, let's hear about that. But mostly just for money, because I was having sex with women. They were porno films.

When I say indie, I mean porno films. In some ways. But yeah, if you want to find us, you can find us at MaximumFun.org. Check out the blogs that Dave does each and every week. They're a great partner piece to the podcast and if um if you like the show tell your friends because we can uh that's how we can help it grow and uh if you want to come back next week that's your choice go ahead and do it and come back next week for another

episode of stop podcasting yourself Best of Gears up. Not just yet As soon as you start singing I want to sneak outside for a cigarette It's not life or death for you You just got nothing to say And you sound like everybody else On the open mic At the local cafe. Folks, sing on.

You make me think TV ain't so bad. Folks, sing on. You make me wish that your mom never fucked your dad Fucked your dad Oh, singer Oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh

Oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh You hang out with the kings and queens of mediocrity And tell each other you're so great Oh, oh, oh But the audience is just a bunch of your friends And some skinny girl you just started to date Oh, oh, oh So sing me another slow one

And sing it from your heart Get one of your friends to do a little backup And you both can pretend you're living for your art You got the nerve to make fun of Stevie Wonder And say he sure fell off in 83 He was more talented at 12 years old Than you'll ever be Folks, sing on

You make me think Christian music ain't so bad Folks, sing on You make me think Christian music ain't so bad Folk singer You make me wish That your mom never fucked your dad Fuck your dad Folk singer I ain't talking about no street performer I don't want to pull a bus cause license revoked Don't bother me

That's not how I was pre-vote It's the bohemian bar star That lives in their own little bubble Why don't we just go on Wheel of Fortune And save us all the trouble Whining that you're not rich and famous And adorning an old exclusive backstage pass Instead of blaming the music industry

I got a crazy idea write a song that doesn't suck ass or maybe you should get a big time producer and he can make you sound indie rock thought provoking

and deep you can basically go fuck yourself cause your wishy washy beauty is only skin deep. Folk singer. You make me think ACDC tribute bands are the way. Folk singer.

Yeah, you make me wish that your mom never fucked your dad. Fuck your dad. Folk singer. I'll never fuck your dad. Fuck your dad. Folks say I. Folks say I. I'm gonna kill me. I will kill. I'm gonna kill me. I will kill. I'm gonna kill me every day I'm gonna kill me every day My poor singer