Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 122 - Alicia Tobin

Episode Date: July 13, 2010

Comedian Alicia Tobin returns to talk about butchers, Pig Pen, and how drugs are made (we have no idea). Then we play Fake Band/Real Band.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 122 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who can't be tamed, can't be caged, Mr. Dave Shumka. Are we just going to be quoting pop music from now on? You used to have more of a repertoire. Over the summer I feel like it's the poppiest time of year.

Yeah. Oh, I heard a pop song today that I really liked. I don't know who it's by, and I can't remember how it went. Oh, it was probably O-Town. Yeah. Was it that Abercrombie and Fitch song? Yeah, it was LFO. And our guest today is the second of the four-time guests,

which I didn't realize until right before the podcast, a very funny lady, an avid Twitterer, and somebody who just, just gained acceptance as going back to school, Miss Alicia Tobin. Hi, everybody. Hi, Alicia. Thanks for being our guest. Well, thanks for having me for the fourth time Jane Stanton Jane Stanton three times guest

real competitive lady comedy community in Vancouver do you want to get to know us? sure get to know us well let's

let's first of all you're going back to school. Yeah, like that movie. Yeah, Ronnie Dangerfield. Are you going to go to summer school first with Mark Harmon? I would love to.

Mark Harmon. See, first summer school, then back to school. Then, um... School for... School for scoundrels. And then we get to go to rock and roll school. Is that what it was called? Rock and roll high school.

That's when you graduate. Was that the Ramones movie? Yep. No, but what's the one with Jack Black? Rock and roll high school? No, that was School of Rock. School of Rock. Oh, you're going to go to School of Rock.

I'm going to School of Rock. Wait, rock and roll high school was a Ramones song, but I think there was a movie that had nothing to do. The Ramones were in the original Rock and Roll High School. Okay, but then there may have been a secondary. There was a secondary one starring Corey Feldman. Right. And it was called Rock and Roll High School Forever.

Forever and ever. Either way, I'll be smoking in the boys' room. Sure. Yeah. Well, that's not allowed. Yeah. Neither of those things are smoking and your being in the boys' room. Neither of those things are.

Smoking and your being in the boys' room. So you're going, this is part of an old uncle's will that you have to graduate school or you can't get the inheritance. Where are you going to school? I'm going to the school called the Canadian School of Natural Nutrition to study to become That is funny. I told you it was funny. I didn't want to talk about it. To be a holistic nutritionist. What does holistic mean? I have no idea. No, you do. It's an approach to well-being

through nutrition. And it's not naked forest dances. I'm currently working on my dreadlocks. Sure, yeah. And I'm getting a nose ring. You're growing your own mushrooms.

On the ASAP. In between my toes. Yeah, under a log. Hey, this is a great conversation. Okay, well this has made you very uncomfortable. Yeah, sorry about that. I didn't mean to throw in something in the credits. Well, I'm shy about it because I'm really interested in nutrition and food.

But it doesn't... But it's boring. It's really boring and it's certainly not in alignment with my comedy career. Right. Where everybody's loaded all the time on cocaine. Yeah, everybody is. Right now we are all loaded on cocaine. But a whole, like a whole cocaine.

Yeah, a holistic cocaine. Not cut with anything. Sure. It's bad for you. I a whole, like a whole cocaine. Yeah, yeah. A holistic cocaine. Not cut with anything. Sure. It's bad for you. I don't know how drugs are made. What, which drugs? Well, like a cocaine that comes from the coca plant, and then what? Well, I think the only thing that they do with cocaine, and I could be way off base

on this, but I think it's just they're drying it and basically crystallizing it so that it can be... It looks more like a powder. Yeah. But then I think they grind it up. I think it is a powder. Yeah. I think you're right. They call it marching powder.

I'm going to give you your marching powder. I think it crystallizes and then... Am I wrong? Does it become crack first and then it's cocaine? Or is it the other way around? I don't know. What about heroin? I know that's poppies.

Yeah. And then you get the seeds out. You put them on a bagel. And then you smear heroin on the bagel. Coke before cocaine. Crack before cocaine. Never on a plane. Cocaine before crack.

Hey, nice rack. Yeah. So poppies... I don't know how the poppies make heroin I know that you're just smoking The poppy seed That's opium I don't know I feel like we're like little kids Discussing how babies are made

With little bits of knowledge That we've gleaned from movies. I know crystal meth is all chemical. There's no natural. Yeah, well, that's why all the actors in Breaking Bad have a chemical in their name in the credits. Oh, yeah. And then there's, well, pot just grows on a tree. Mushrooms grow. But how do they get the hash from the pot?

I think it may really be way off base here. That's oil, like a resin left over. Or isn't it like the pure THC that comes off of it? We really should do more drugs. Yeah. We have no idea what we're talking about. I mean, yeah, that's true. Like, I mean, do they mash

up the pot? And then, I don't know. I have no idea. Something like a resin of pot. How do they have places where you can go and make your own beer or make your own wine? They should have heroin ones. What would it be called?

Come on, on the spot player. Oh, what do you do with heroin? You inject it. It would be called safe injection site. I had a friend who would, this was years and years ago, but when was broke

would go and cut pot plants, rather, and cut... I don't know what needs to be cut off or whatever, but you just would sit at a long bench and all day long just cut off the saleable parts. And that's literally... And she would get paid $30 an hour. Abby used to live in Switzerland, and there was some reason it was partially legal there. And she had a friend who worked at a pot farm for the summer, and I remember him telling me one of his jobs one day was just to get an old book and cut out all the middle parts of all the pages so you could mail some pot to someone in a book. Wow, that doesn't seem like it would fool anyone, but yet, Switzerland.

People send books all the time. That's true. And the mail's so fast there, what with efficiency, no one bothers to check. Okay, you're going to school. So I'm going to school. What else? Yeah, what else is shaking? What won't embarrass you?

Yeah. Today I saw somebody on the bus whose toenails were so long they looked like they had hands for feet. Oh, wow. Gross. I also saw... In a good way? It was funny because I kept looking. Was it a guy or a girl?

It was an older man. An older man. And he was wearing sandals. He was wearing a pair of leather sandals. Ew. And... Ew. Well, because usually old man is was wearing sandals. He was wearing a pair of leather sandals. Ew. Because usually old man is socks with sandals. Yeah. Old man, look at my socks.

I realized that would be a great service if there was volunteers that did pedicures and stuff for seniors because it's really hard for them to bend down and do that, right? I thought you meant they get gross and it's not their fault. A great service would be just to, you know,

tell the person. Yeah. I told him with my eye contact. I looked at him. I looked at his feet. I made a retching face. I was like, he got an erection.

Yeah. It was all right. He made the finger in the hole. We exchanged numbers. I gave him my old bus ticket. So I saw that. I also saw a little... I saw a toy poodle bouncing up and down behind its

owner while she ate a giant hot dog which was really funny a toy poodle like a living poodle yeah a little tiniest kind right okay and uh she ate a hot dog as big as the poodle it was rare it was like a big hot dog now here's a question uh because know this. Speaking of all things hot dogs, Maple Leaf Foods, which for people outside of Canada, is kind of the major hot dog, kind of the Oscar Mayer of Canada. I think they make the Oscar Mayer hot dogs for Canada. Really? That's possible. Anyways, last year they had a major outbreak of a bacteria called Listeria.

Right. Listeriosis. Listeriosis. Listeriosis, that's right. Was that the disease you got from the bacteria? Yeah, I think. Yeah, it was a Listeria outbreak and people got Listeriosis. Sorry for disrobing you. For disrobing you. Derailing you.

With your eyes. And, you know, so they basically basically they nearly killed a lot of people uh and this year they've launched a an ad campaign with a bunch of have you seen it the the happy kids eating hot dogs to the i want to know what love is oh really soundtrack that's awesome it's a very charming commercial but then you're like oh this is that company that nearly killed thousands of canadians with their uh horrible practices. Anyways, just when you were talking about hot dogs, do you like that commercial?

You know that I hate that commercial because I hate Maple Leaf Foods. Have you always hated Maple Leaf Foods? I've hated them since that happened the second time because they had two things with contamination. Yeah, so the commercial just makes me so angry. I just remember the commercial that they did right after the outbreak happened, which was the owner being like, We cleaned everything.

We're being really careful now. We're so sorry. He's wearing those yellow rubber gloves. He was wearing a glove. Yeah. She cuts the meat while she's holding a broken knife And wearing rubber gloves But then puts the meat in her mouth

Oh so she Oh she did like the Mr. Burns Like I'll eat the three eyed fish Was that in the commercial Like she ate a piece of the ham I think she was an actor Oh maybe But now they're always saying the butchers at Maple Leaf

And by butchers they mean underpaid... Migrant workers with knives. In horrible working conditions. Like from the movie Machete. There seems to be some kind of resurgence in artisans these days. At your artisan breads and whatnot. Like, you know, people who believe in old-timey haircuts and you know people young people becoming tailors for the first time in a hundred years

yeah yeah i wonder about our butchers that way or is that is it just a slaughter i know that uh there's i've met people because i work uh on groundville island and there's real butchers that have stores there and there's a whole training process and it's really uh takes a while and i'm not just talking about the buskers right butchering songs am i right come on pretty good um alicia and i are talking sorry so yeah there is definitely a real edit there is a real uh it's a real trade and there's real skill involved yeah it is but will they be like is something cool like that really cool guy

he's like oh I'm becoming a butcher now do they have that kind of like I want to put you with the right piece of meat you look like a tenderloin fella you don't want the skewers yeah no have you ever seen a butcher's hands after they've worked You look like a tenderloin fellow. You don't want the skewers. Yeah, no. Have you ever seen a butcher's hands after they've worked?

Yeah. A lot of my best friends are butchers. This guy I'm interested in is a butcher. Yeah, I do manicures next to a butcher shop. But they've got these crazy, not I'm sure they don't all, but like the old timey butchers, they've got these crazy swollen kind of giant hands. Yeah, with missing fingers. Well, I think because they've been like

steroids. And the swollenness is from drinking. Is that not, is it not from steroid exposure? Every day having your hands in the blood of something that is grown with steroids? You know what? You've given us a lot more thought than we have. I'm just saying. I'll ask. Yeah, more thought than we have. I'm just saying.

I'll ask. Yeah, ask at your holistic school. I'll ask at Tenderland and bring it up for his day. Tell me. Why are butchers' hands so throbbing? But there's a butcher place that's like an old-timey butcher up on Main Street, Main and 25th, right? And have you ever been there?

No. It's an old-timey an old time where i got my sausages yeah like they make their own sausages right does it have a great funny name windsor meat something on the thing vienna sausage i don't think so no it's just but they do the old like if you go and you get bacon there they have these giant pieces of bacon that I've never seen anywhere else. Oh, and they put them in a slicer? Yeah. And then you take it home and it weighs. You don't eat meat.

I don't. Neither do you. Back in the day was great. No, but I'll talk about it any chance I get. Okay, but you don't still hang out with butchers and go to butcher shops? No, although I was an inch away from putting in for a job at a slaughterhouse. What to keep the rent paid and such. But yeah, I don't know.

Why are you shaking your head? I don't want to talk about that job opportunity. I think you're selling yourself short with these jobs you're applying for. Clearly. There's not a lot of jobs in this city that aren't computer game designer jobs. That's true. And I don't know anything about that. You can fake your way through it.

Yeah? Do you just fake it to make it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Quirks and stuff. Yeah. You keep saying C++. Yeah. Splatter.

I'm working on the splatter. Yeah. I'm trying to up my splatter in this game. This is a kid's game. Yeah, exactly. This is supposed to be a learning game. What about splatter? So what else is shaking?

You saw a toy poodle jumping behind somebody eating a hot dog. That was great. I saw a mole that looked like a jelly tot. I've decided those are my favorite kinds of moles. A mole? Yeah. Like on somebody's body? It was right here in the cleavage, too.

This is not a woman's cleavage? Yeah. Right in the middle, and it was on the train home from downtown. And then I decided that my favorite kind of moles on strangers are the moles that are puffy. And they are really raised, and they kind of look like jelly tots. What about the ones that have hair coming out of them? No, thank you. That don't get cut.

All of the ones that are puffy have hair coming out of them. No, they don't. Yeah, yeah. There's just the ones that you're seeing have been maintained. Sure. Well, then that's the kind of like the maintained jelly tot kind. Those are my favorite. Well, why do you say jelly tot when it's something that's often brown?

You could just say a chocolate chip. No, because it has a sort of transparency. Yeah, like a jelly tot that's been smuggled across the border. That was great. great. I'm conspiring with the maintenance people on Granville Island to end the buskers outside of the store where I work. How come? To end them?

Yeah, to put an end to them. Okay. Terminate. I don't know. It's just funny. Everyone complains about them. Who does? The buskers? Well, me. The two people I work with. And all the people that work on Granville Island grandma island no that's a huge exaggeration i apologize nothing happened today is really what happened i saw that really funny dog and the hot dog and the mole made me laugh and the finger toes um speaking of moles there's that commercial for the skin tag oh yeah rip it off with the

little girl who's who's got a big mouth and won't shut up. Mommy, you're so pretty except this. Ew, what's that? I think we should test that product on the show with all of our skin tags. Yes. I don't have any. Well, I don't have the product. Maybe we could go to the streets with it. Remember that show Street Sense where they would test products

and if it wasn't good they'd throw it in the sewer? No, it was fit for the pit. What's your beef? Alright, well we'll do that in a future show. We'll go up to strangers and get rid of their skin tans. It takes four applications. Come back tomorrow.

Isn't that weird? Because it's like that commercial, it's like it was the thing that I didn't even know was the thing. Skin tags? Yeah, I didn't really know that that was a- But the skin tag on that ad is like four to five times any skin tag I've ever seen in my life. I think that Saturday Night Live really put a cap around it. Did you see the sketch that they did?

I think it was when Maya Rudolph was guesting on there. And the kid says, oh, what is that? And she goes, oh, it's a skin tag. And then the daughter says, is that why dad left? And it's like, then it just shows like the rest of the commercial is detailing how with the skin tag was the beginning of the downfall of their relationship. But I didn't even know a skin tag was a thing until that ad came out and said, like, it was one of those things where it's like they needed to manufacture a problem. And they were like, what's a thing that kind of is something but not really anything?

They were like, what about those things that some people get? Like, it's a little extra bit of skin. Can we, you know, develop something that burns that off? But I wouldn't have even thought about it. Now I'm terrified. I didn't know you had to burn them off. I thought it was okay to just rip them off. Oh, Jesus.

Come on. Between this mole talk and the toenail talk. Yeah, you're really grossing it out. You're grossing it. I don't have to talk anymore. You guys can just talk amongst yourselves. All right, fine. We're grossing it. I don't have to talk anymore. You guys can just talk amongst yourselves. Alright, fine. We're fighting. Well, yeah. Dave, what's going on with you?

Dave just pointed at himself. Well, you guys are like... That's true. I don't know. It's like you forgot the format of the show. I was looking down here. I stopped watching you. Here's what's going on with me. Big stuff happening. Do you remember a couple

weeks ago when I had those kids street lugeing outside of my house? We were devising ways that we could get them to stop. Turns out they just got bored of it after a while. Sweet.

What they were doing is they would take this skateboard, it was a little plastic skateboard, and they would just ride down on their backs. Right. And they would put obstacles on the street to crash into. And then a couple days later, Abby and I noticed that one of their dads, a couple houses down, was using power tools.

And he was using a saw and a drill. And we're like, oh, maybe he's like doing some woodworking. Like maybe he's building a ramp or something. Oh, no. Something to keep them in their yard. Like a fence. Something so they don't have to come and play street luge outside my house. Oh, I see.

Okay. Something so they can do it at their house. But no, we were wrong. Their dad made a homemade skateboard. Oh, wow. One of their dads. They're not brothers. A homemade skateboard.

My two brothers. But it was, it's really thick, a really thick piece of wood. Yeah. And it- Is it shaped at all like a skateboard? It's longer than it is wide. Okay. So in that regard, it's like a skateboard. It's longer than it is wide. Okay.

In that regard, it's like a skateboard. But you wouldn't be able to skateboard on it. You have to lie on your back on it. Oh, so he made them a street luge. A street luge, basically. Wow. And the best part about it is, have you ever seen the movie The Natural with Robert Redford? Yes.

Yeah, my favorite movie. Really? uh with robert redford yes he's uh yeah my favorite movie is this really um he's a baseball player and when he's a kid uh a lightning strikes a tree and he makes a baseball bat out of that tree right and he uh burns the name of it onto it and with a little lightning bolt and it's called Wonder Boy. Well, the skateboard, the street luge. Yeah. The kids, they're kids. They're dumb. They don't know the value of things.

So they just leave their stuff in public on the street and go home. So I saw this lying there one day and it has a name. The name of this street luge the german oh wow i wish i knew a german word to say yeah right what's fine would mean i think it means pig dog. Pig dog? Pig dog. But other than that, I'm having a... Well, it's summertime in the city. Sum, sum, sum, sum, sum. And we love it. Oh, do we?

Yeah, we are big. We like to tan. We like to blade. Yeah, we like to just get out there. I love blading. It's a high time for weather person banter. Oh, yeah. And it's a high time for the news

guy to talk about whether people like or dislike the weather person. You promised us some sun. You promised. It's not even about him breaking his promise or not. It's all about just what is the weather doing. People are going to like you for the next four or five days. him breaking his promise or not it's all about just what is the weather doing yeah people are

gonna like you for the next four or five days and the weather person's like you don't understand what this is like people love and hate me based on forces beyond my control do people actually do that to like do people care that much about the the weather that they will blame the weatherman whether the weatherman is right or wrong. What about whenever anyone questions that, I think of that time when there was El Nino and then that man named El Nino was threatened and he had to change his name.

I don't remember that. I think his name or his last name was El Nino and people were calling him and threatening to kill him because of the thing. Because of whatever that El Nino thing was. A hurricane? There's a Nicolas Cage movie where he played. The Weatherman, yeah. Is it called The Weatherman?

Yeah. And yeah, he. No, it's The Wicker Man. This wicker's too hot. I hate that wicker man. Oh, my butt. It's so loud. I hate that wicker man. Ow, my butt. It's so loud when I sit in it. And then he starts wearing a crossbow around the city or something to scare people off.

I would like to see the local weatherman carrying some sort of assault weapon. Sure. Just to keep people at bay. It's weird being a weather person. Tell me about it. I know a couple people that are. It's weird. You started a TV show.

We're losing Graham down memory lane. But it's weird because it's like none of the people I know who were weather people have any degree or any... But they don't have any expertise in it. No. No more than you and I would have.

I thought you had to go to school. Tamara Tigert has a special school. No, she doesn't. Yeah, there's a commercial for it. I think I bring up Tamara Tigert every time I'm on the podcast. She's Vancouver's most famous weather girl. Yeah, she's pretty. She's okay. Yeah, she's alright. Come on. She's Vancouver's most famous weather girl. Yeah. Yeah, she's pretty. She's okay.

Yeah, she's all right. Come on. She's more than okay. No, she's okay. Dave wouldn't kick her out of bed for predicting the weather wrong. Or for being disappointed. You know me. But anyway, about this weather.

The thing that's bothering me is that all my neighbors are outside all the time. Well, we saw one of your neighbors when we were driving in. Johnny tattoos on his back. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know that guy. Robert De Niro from Cape Fear. Yeah, he had track pants on, too. Nylon track pants.

It's like 30 degrees outside. So what? You know what? He wasn't wearing a shirt. He had to compensate. Keep his bottom half warm, top half cool. Yeah. But the people in my house,

there's a family that lives above me. They're always in the backyard spraying each other. And another woman in the house loves to garden. And so she's always outside gardening like till after the sun goes down uh and my problem is i don't know when i need to talk to them like when i first time i see them in the day i will say hello right and then after that i avoid

eye contact and i enter the house like six or seven times in a day yeah I've had that I'm having that as well at my place of like where there's a guy that lives there you've seen him and he just will talk until you close the door

on the car and even in that he'll still be talking to you through the closed door as you're driving away and alicia's met this gentleman as well yeah he always has a like a he tries to get you to talk by having like something clever he's like hey graham obey him i don't know what he says that's pretty good right that's good he wants to make contact and then as soon as you start talking to him, he starts a rant or a rage. Yeah. Yeah. That's – he's like – because what was he saying the other – he was like – he

was saying – it was like some nonsense thing. Like he was like – He said, watch out for that guy. He's trouble. He's trouble. This guy's trouble. About you? About me.

Oh. You're not trouble. No, I'm not trouble i think at the time he was carrying a bag was carrying a bag of groceries he's like that guy's trouble and uh but he was saying it's like pseudo playful but then yeah if you go if you go into it then you'd be like oh yeah how how's things going and he'd be like that fucker with the car yeah fucking england got kicked out of the World Cup. Like, he'd just start screaming.

And he's got, like, a strange speech impediment as well. And so, yeah. But he's always trying to lure you into a bit of conversation. I don't have that problem. Except that everyone around me seems to be pretty confident in when they should talk to me. Okay. Like, I'll be walking away and they'll say something and I'll turn back around. Or the worst is the kids.

There's two kids who live above me and they'll say something to me and they're the most mush mouth kids. I don't understand what they're saying. So you're like, hey. And I turn around and look at them. No, I can make that out. It's nonsense what they're saying. Hi, David. Look at them. No, I can make that out. It's nonsense what they're saying.

And they say something and I look back around and neither of them are looking at me. So I don't know if I should respond. So I have to back away. Oh, it's the worst. I'm going to start just letting the dog Holding him out the window Squeezing Yeah Uh yeah Summertime is

Both Alicia and I have watched the last We watched both of the Twilight movies Okay Oh but before the In the last episode you said Oh that's the first one Watch the sequel The third one is in theaters now.

I can't wait. But guess what? Somebody doesn't want to go see it in the theater. Well, there's a reason for that. Because I like to keep my exposure to tweens to an absolute minimum. But all the tweens have seen it now. That's a good point, David Shumka. Would you like to come see it with us?

No, I don't want to see it. But it's a great way to beat the heat. But in the first one, or maybe the second one, there's this thing because it's in the Pacific Northwest. So it's around this general area of the continent. And whenever the sun comes out, like everybody goes bananas and is like just lying out in the sun like a bunch of crazy people. And that is what happens here people will just vanish into their houses until the sun comes out and then all

of a sudden everybody knows how to garden and they've got rollerblades and they've got tans, they've already got tans everybody's doing compost everyone's like it's time to compost they're running down the street with the hula hoop and the stick it's great it's uh all of a sudden everybody's you know i'm talking about right they're riding penny farthings

yeah exactly they're doing all their washing outside in the river yep um yeah no it's ridiculous my least favorite, well I have a lot of least favorite Things about the sun, I'm a pretty Cantankerous gentleman But what I don't like the most All of a sudden is Just walking, you're walking You're walking and then you walk into a cloud

Of bugs Also one of my least The no-see-ums, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah I hate it and I freak out Mm-hmm. Yeah. Also one of my least, the no-see-ums, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. When they're, yeah, I hate it, and I freak out like a little tiny girl. I feel like Pigpen when that happens. Oh, yeah, like you're a stinky, you get a stinky pet. Yeah, like I feel like it's a cloud of bugs that has been with me this whole time.

And you're just noticing it. Yeah, yeah Much like that one episode of the Peanuts When, you know, Big Ben had that moment of self-realization I should take a shower He had a lot of friends What was his deal? I think he was homeless I think he was just

I think that was the subject I never thought that he was stinky I thought he was dusty from playing outside But why? He didn't seem to be playing harder than anyone else. He never had flies with him. He had old scribbles. He seemed to be generating his own dust.

Like he was like the master of dust. Maybe he had a skin condition. Yeah. Or maybe he's the mummy from the movie The Mummy. He had very terrible eczema. Eczema or eczema? I always thought it was eczema. Well, I think that's because of noxema.

Skin. Yeah. That stuff doesn't work. Does it not? I don't it was eczema. Well, I think that's because of noxema. Skin. Yeah. That stuff doesn't work. Does it not? I don't know. It burns. You heard it here first. I like to, when the weather's like this, make sure I'm in the house between noon and four

o'clock. Yeah. So I don't catch on fire and die. I extrapolate that to eight till seven o'clock. You have blonde hair. I try to do an 11 hour shift indoors. So did we get to know everybody? I don't know. Graham, did we get to know you?

I feel like we did. I think I planted a lot of seeds. Did you bring anything? No, I don't really. I didn't. The one thing that I want to just tell everybody is that I walked through the set of a movie

called Caesar Rise of the Apes, which is a prequel to the Planet of the Apes reboot. But it's a remake of the third Planet of the Apes, isn't it? Because they weren't in order, were they?

Well, the remake that Tim Burton did. Yeah. Which one was that remake of? Basically the first one. Yeah, so this is a prequel to that. Okay, I think... Everybody loves prequels. Yeah, okay, sure.

Were there a lot of monkeys? They're apes, not monkeys. Hey, whoa. That's an insult to an ape. Yeah, because... No, it's just... Like, I didn't think that that would be a movie that they would be making. to an ape. Yeah. Because, no, it's just, like, I didn't think

that that would be a movie that they would be making. Did Planet of the Apes, did people go see that? I saw it twice, I think, in theaters. Well,

the ending was, left a lot of, up in the air, so I had to see it again. Like the movie Up in the Air. Yeah. That was during

Mark Wahlberg's failure phase. Rockstar, that thing. Yeah, Rockstar. Now, that was a movie based on a real... Based on Judas Priest or Iron Maiden? But yeah, no, I think... No, Judas Priest still has the original.

That's Rob Halford or whatever. No, but I think it was because their lead singer was gay so he left and they replaced him with Mark Wahlberg. Who would still appeal to the gay market but with his rippling ass. Rob Halford is gay. Yes.

Okay, I think it's always based on that. Oh, okay. Because I just know that it was based on a true story and I've never seen it but I remember the one thing being when I was at an electronic store buying some sort of cable Tell us more.

It starts good. And playing on the big screen was that movie and Mark Wahlberg and Jennifer Aniston had the exact same haircut. There was a point where they kiss and you don't know where one starts and the other one stops. They go in where they kiss and you don't know where one starts and the other one stops yeah they go in for a kiss and when they come out it's each other's faces

have you seen any of those it's become like a tiny internet meme where people switch faces or they'll put all the same person's face on 10 people in one scene yeah there's there's made, like, I think they're kind of funny, but there was one that made me laugh really hard, and it was Hulk Hogan and Brooke Hogan. Brooke Hogan has the Hulk Hogan face. Looks about right. Yeah, she already has the chin. In time, in time. How did she not become a wrestler? That seems like a misstep.

That would have been a good direction. Maybe. Maybe someday. When she reaches all of her goals with her music career. a wrestler. That seems like a misstep. That would have been a good direction. Maybe. Maybe someday. I mean, when she reaches all of her goals with her music career. Yeah. Is she also an actress?

No. She wouldn't turn it down. Oh, absolutely. She wouldn't kick acting out of bed for mispredicting the weather. The one thing also this week is there's a new show on television

hosted by a wrestler. I can't remember his name. Is it Downfall? Is it Chris Jericho? Yes, it's Chris Jericho. It's a show. I'm not sure if I've got exactly what it's about

But either you have to fall off a building Or something else Stuff you're playing for You need to answer A certain amount of questions in a certain amount of time And all the prizes Are on a treadmill that's going off A quote unquote skyscraper

That's four stories high Well the sky's very low Where they are a quote unquote skyscraper that's four stories high. Well, the sky is very low where they are. But yeah, so the first item will go off in about 20 seconds and then the second item will go off in 25 seconds. And once you miss all the items, you go off the building.

But you're bungeed to a bungee. So, that's really one of those shows where it's like fuck you poor world yeah we'll not only have a show where we have stuff that people can just win like we just have so much stuff you can just win some stuff yeah yeah we also can smash stuff and feel no shame or yeah but there was i was uh i was telling you about the show, right? Because we saw the commercial and then

I was like, this was a great British show that I was shocked that it never made it over to America. Minute to Win It, hosted by Guy Fieri. Is it called Minute to Win It? I think so, yeah, because you have a minute to win it. I don't understand. I thought he was, now that we're talking about Guy Fieri. Is it called Minute to Win It? I think so, yeah. Because you have a minute to win it. I don't understand.

I thought he was... Now that we're talking about Guy Fieri, can we just go with this for a second? Because you know how I feel about him. Diners and Dives host. The frosted-tipped host of Diners, Dumps, and Dives and Drives-ins. He eats out of a dump.

The original something hogs from that movie with John Travolta. Yeah, the original wild hog. Thank you. I thought he was a host of food shows. Yeah, but he's got charisma out the wazoo. When? He literally had a wazoo implanted

surgically. It was extreme enough. And then he put charisma he had charisma coming out of it as soon as he put it in and then it came out yeah yeah

totally like that no he's he's competent but he's that guy does he wear flip flops probably yeah probably he wears a lot of

what do you call those like the short pants with the like cargo short cargo jorts cargo jorts he Cargo jorts. I feel like he would wear a boot with flames on it.

Did I talk to you guys about how I watched his show in the middle of somebody's kitchen? He took off his flip-flop and said their food was so good he could eat it off of his flip-flop. And it was super filthy. And he's in the kitchen. But that's never a thing. It's always Mike. He's like, oh, this is so good. Oh, I can eat it off of a flip-flop.

My floor is so clean, you could eat off of it. Not my food is so good, you could eat it off. He was just using his flip-flop to spread a spread. He also sleeps in his flip-flop. He's got a flip-flop bed. With flames on it. Probably has a dragon on the sheets. That's my guess.

Sleeps in party shirts. There's no doubt that he wears a lot of silk shirts. Or rayon. Yeah, I think they're more of a rayon. I think he probably has a poster of Wolverine somewhere in his house. Sure. Like not framed or anything. Just tacked to the wall.

Probably right next to a window. Or to a mirror. So he looks in the house. Like not framed or anything. Just tacked to the wall. Probably right next to a window or to a mirror. So he looks in the mirror, looks at that, adjusts. Spikes it up. He's drawn on a pair of sports sunglasses backwards on the Wolverine's head. Yeah, those don't come and go. Those are there

all the time. He had that implanted when he had his wazoo. Yeah. He had it sewn in. It's a weave. Sunglasses weave. Now, you were telling me about a British show you saw. Yeah, that I think if it was...

You have a lot of British shows you like. But I thought this would really appeal to the American aesthetic. It was, you would go on the show to win a car, but the trick was you had to put up your car as collateral. And if you won, you won a brand new car. And if you lost, they destroyed your car. That's cool. And they would then give it, they would bring out a little wagon with your crushed car and be like, here it is. You get to keep it.

Like, it's still yours. You can shove it in your wazoo. Oh, man. Guy Fieri, right? The best in the biz. Yeah. Sweaty. I always say that he's always sweating.

Yeah, so am I. But when he eats, it's like he has a caveman response to food, and he kind of leans over it so it doesn't scuttle away. He kind of puts his face on top of it so that it can't... He's the same with ladies. He likes his ladies the way he likes his hoagie subs. There's that scene in Rockstar where he puts his head in over his head. Yeah, yeah. You can't tell where Guy Fieri ends

and the meatball sub begins. Yeah. Because they had the same redness. Haircut. Dave, let's find out about you. We did. I have neighbors. They have a German.

One of the babies has really cute hair. In my house? Upstairs from your house. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Little Goldilocks. Yeah. No, Darkilocks. Little your house. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Little Goldilocks. Yeah. No, Darkilocks. Little Lox.

Yeah, just Curly Lou. Oh, Curly Lou. Yeah, that's the... That movie, Curly Lou. He's the most mush-mouthed. Curly Lou. Well, he's two. Starring John.

He's three-ish. Oh, really? I don't know. Maybe he still only knows baby sign language. I think they both just wear diapers. What do you guys think about those jean diaper things? I think they're pretty great. We had listeners send in

diapers to us. Well, they just sent in... But I thought it would be... That would be a really funny costume for Halloween if you were wearing one of those and a tight white shirt. Do they have grown-up sized jeans? I don't know. I will buy next Halloween a gray and black. Yeah, you might have to glue a couple pairs together

To make it work I think it might be a funny It was my niece's birthday Saturday Happy birthday niece We went to the party She's a listener right? Yeah sure

My sister had gotten her a I don't think it's real But it's a little baby leather bomber jacket. Aww. Pretty badass. Yeah. And she has skinny jeans, skinny baby jeans. Oh, no, really?

Yeah. See, I like it when a kid. You can see their little bow legs? You can see their diaper. Skinny with a diaper coming out. That's really great. I relate strongly. I like a kid that's in a suit.

You know, at a wedding. That's the great thing. A kid wearing sunglasses is great. And I like a kid in a bomber jacket, I think. I think I like that a lot. Also, any kind of hat that's not a baseball hat. Like some sort of fedora on a kid. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I don't like any of those things. Huh? I like it when they're wearing like a... You like it when they have curly hair. They have curly hair and they're at the back of their necks a bit sweaty. Or they're jumping behind a lady who's eating a hot dog.

I like it when she has a weird mole. Well then, just forget I said anything. I like it when they have spiky hair and big glasses and are in Jerry Maguire. Have you seen the... Yeah. Whoa, man.

Yeah, he's got the situation. He's Jonathan Ripped Nicky now. Oh, man, I should work for Entertainment Tonight. I just came up with that on the fly. Pretty good. They don't even come up with their own stuff on that show, I bet. Yeah, they steal it all from inside a dish. Do you guys want to do some Overheard?

Sure. Overheard. Overheard. Overheards. If you're somebody that isn't averse to sneaking a peek with your ears. Yeah. Some sort of ear peek. Sneaking a leak. You may

be in line to be somebody who would send us one of your Overheards. We here at the podcast have our own overheards, and we always like to start with the guest. Alicia, you're an old hand at this. You know the drill. I do. I have an overheard

and I'd like to apologize in advance because my last overheard and this overheard are, I don't know, they're just terrible. Thanks for the apology yeah yeah they're terrible but i don't i don't know why i have i have super bionic overheard ears for horrible things being said yeah and super bionic low self-esteem super bionic extra bionic low self-esteem it's lower than anybody. Yeah, it's coming out your wazoo.

I was at Oak Ridge Mall, which is a mall on Cambion 41st. I was there looking for something I couldn't find downtown, so I went to the Hudson Bay Company to see if it was there, and then I found it, and I was happy, and I decided to stop into the ladies' bathroom before

I took the Canada Line home. And there was a woman and her child in front of the mirror, and the child was no more than three years old, and she had this beautiful crop of curly brown hair. Your favorite. My favorite, because I have that too. And her mom, the little girl said something, I'm not sure, something about curly hair. And her mom said, well, you have a bit of a jufro going on right now.

But when you grow up, we can straighten it. And I thought that that was awful. Sad for her. Sad for her. So then I got out and I was like, your mom's a bitch. No, you didn't. No, but I looked at her. Sad for her. So then I got out and I was like, your mom is a bitch. No, you didn't. No, but I looked at her. And then you saw her mole and you were like, that's all right.

Puffy mole, like a jelly toad. You should cut your nails, though. I don't know why, but it just incensed me that not only was she... Like, it's fine to say that if you are Jewish. I get it. But I do think that it's really not the best way to talk to your child. Sure. Jerk mom.

Jerk mom. Jerk mom. You don't need to You don't necessarily need to straighten it when you're older. Yeah. No. And some people have very pretty She's just three and she's always like, I don't know hair's wrong with me. Yeah. My hair's wrong. If you had a afro

and then you straightened it, would it look like Spike from Degrassi? Like it would just be out in like a rainbow of hair, but straight? No, I think gravity kicks in. You could probably hairspray it up. Yeah. Like that movie, Hairspray It Up. Dude, it's

spraying to the streets. Yeah, sure. The Caesar, the sequel. Prequel. Everybody loves a prequel. You should have a Hairspray prequel. What was John Travolta like when he was a skinny woman? It's just called Combs. John Travolta was always voluptuous as a woman.

Brill. You think young John Travolta Young John Travolta Was a fat younger woman Was a Nikki Blonsky I don't want to get you guys going on Nikki Blonsky Yeah sure I checked out on IMDB just the other day She's not, nothing's in development

I'm worried, can we get something Yeah maybe As Graham's saying that he's moving his hands back and forth Like a total pervert Do you have a thing for Nikki Blonsky? Huh? Do you have a thing for Nikki Blonsky? Yeah. She's great. Is it my... She's a song and dance lady. For Sarah Rue? Hmm. Sarah Rue

was on... She had... I'm hoping it's a female kangaroo. No, she's an actress. I can't name a thing she was in, but she was just in Weight Watchers ads. So she doesn't need to lose weight. She looks great. Oh, is she the one that's on the new campaign? I saw them for a while, and then I didn't name a thing she was in, but she was just in Weight Watchers ads. So she doesn't need to lose weight. She looks great. Oh, is she the one that's on the new campaign? I saw them for a while, and then I didn't see them anymore.

Is she blonde? I was thinking of the Jenny Craig girl. She was with Valerie Bertinelli. Did she used to be on Seinfeld? Oh, yeah. She's really funny, too. Yeah. Really beautiful girl.

She played Jerry's neurotic. She's like, I'm such a loser because I can't get a role. Seinfeld. Oh, that's Jason Alexander. She's like, I'm such a loser because I can't get a role. Oh, that's Jason Alexander. Right. Have you seen the ad where Jason Alexander is wearing skin-tight pants and his polo shirt, which is skin-tight, is tucked into his pants?

Yeah. Well, at least he's not shirtless with rayon pants mowing his lawn. Dave, do you have an overheard? Nothing's in production for Nikki Blki blonsky oh yeah i do did you check gabourey sidaby no i'm not sure who that is uh precious oh precious yeah no i won't she is she i i should i don't know she seems to have the confidence of someone who's got a lot of stuff on the horizon but i gotta be honest she'ski blonskine um uh but but we wish them

all the best yeah uh i haven't overheard i uh my overheard yes uh i was recently watching a television show on mtv called parental control yes uh do you know this show? I don't. No. It is, what happens is there's a young couple, a couple in their teens, and the girl's parents hate the guy. Okay. And so it's a reality show where both of the girl's parents get to set the girl up with two different guys while they watch the dates on their TV with the girl's boyfriend. Weird. So the girl

gets to go on two dates. Wait, is this an MTV show? Yes. Yes, I have seen it. Thank you. Thank you for jogging my memory. Okay, so I'm watching this one and the guys are always super obnoxious and really rude to the parents. It almost sounds like they're talking like they've written out a shtick

together. And the parents always set them up with these perfect young gentlemen. These egg-shaped gentlemen. No, like nice young men who are very handsome. I guess. I don't watch it for that.

I don't watch it at all. I watched it once. I'm not on trial here. So Parental Control, I was watching it. And this doesn't really count as an overheard because it was from TV. But you know what? We were here for you 51 weeks a year. So I was watching this. And you know how on dating shows on TV, the dates are always the dumbest ideas.

Yeah. So this teenage girl. We're going to go to a koi pond. Yeah. Why? This teenage girl. That's a great date. Is it?

Yeah, you throw marshmallows at the koi. And then you act koi. So this teenage girl and this teenage guy are going on this date at a ranch and, and, uh, they go into this like horse pen, uh, where it's all really muddy. And he's like, well, let's put on our bathing suits. so uh he puts on a bikini and he puts on the swim trunks yeah and uh he's like well do you know what we're gonna do now well you'll never guess yeah and there's these two horses and both of them have uh we're gonna wrestle these horses have ropes uh uh coming off the back of them with tarps behind them no And the people lie down on the tarps in their bathing suits

and just get pulled around a muddy horse pen. So the parents are watching this on TV along with the girl's real boyfriend. And the boyfriend is of course making fun of it

and the parents are acting like it's totally normal oh they're having fun yeah this is how we have fun so so they go around the pen a few times and then they uh they get all super muddy and then uh they start hosing each other off with a giant hose and uh so the guy is like spraying her and the boyfriend's watching this on tv and he's getting super jealous yeah and he says i'm gonna hose this guy down it's just he wanted to be in on the fun yeah i don't know i't know. He wants to host somebody too. So if they're being dragged around behind a horse in a horse's Yeah, yeah.

It's horse shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So what do they call that ride? I said mud to be polite around a lady. I think the dumbest

of the dates that they ever do on those type of shows the dating shows are the martial arts thing. Because it's always... When is that ever going to be good? Either you're going to hurt the person that you're dating,

or you're going to get hurt. An hour later. Yeah. What's that? An hour later. Goodness. Blind Date was the worst of those, because they tried to never repeat a date.

And it was obvious that they were going to these clubs. Well, they would always go out for drinks. People would always get drunk. And it would always be at a cactus club type. But a place that would never be doing well. Well, no. It would be like, I think the place wouldn't let them shoot during peak hours. We're going for a date.

You guys are going to get drunk at four in the afternoon. Yeah, that's right. It was always broad daylight whenever they were on the dance floor. And then we're going to go wear giant sumo suits. Yeah, and then we're going to go to the jacuzzi. Just like every day ends. And then what does the professor say about that? He says,

a jacuzzi should be kept at this temperature to avoid bacterial contamination. Joe the therapist says, sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. You have an overheard, I imagine. My overheard comes courtesy of being at the grocery store. I do. My overheard comes courtesy of being at the grocery store. I feel like the conversation that led up to this announcement was, just have fun with the announcement. So this lady

gets on, and she's a little stage fright-y, and a little bit in the monotone, and she goes, Greetings, summer shoppers So Holland won so they're going to be in the World Cup this weekend and also the weather forecast predicts it's going to be a warm weekend

so why not pick up some barbecue chicken Oh so sweet What place was this? This was Safeway Oh really? Yeah it was in the Safeway Oh, so sweet. So sweet. What place was this? This was Safeway. Oh, really? Yeah, it was in the Safeway.

Oh, because the Safeway I go to, it's all pre-programmed announcements. Yeah, it's what I was used to. And this one was, the only reason I stopped to listen was because it was so current. Yeah. And I was like, oh, I want to see where this is going. But then it was just this kind of like, you could just tell, just have fun with it. It's going to be great. Boss has taken a long weekend this week.

Let's just have fun with the announcements. Do whatever you like. Holland won. You're Holland-ish. You're Holland-ays. You're Dutch. You celebrate Holland-ays. Yeah. And your local Toyota-thon. and your local Toyota-thon. And then we have overheards sent in by listeners.

Oh, and then we do. And then we do. If you want to send in your style of overheard, you can send it to stoppodcastingyourself at gmail.com. Our first one comes to us from KT. KTB. So it's just the first initials and then a last name yeah so ktb writes uh i recently got a job at the front desk of a fitness club slash pilates studio this club skews about 70 female which i think confuses people who come in off the street to check out our rates i commonly get questions like like, is this an all-women's club?

But today, someone came in and asked, is this a bisexual club? Yes, it is. It's an experimental phase. Yeah. The gateway orientation. Here's a question. I've heard Pilates said many times in the last 10 years i've never bothered to look up what it is i know what yoga is oh yeah no alicia knows this uh pilates is a holistic it's a holistic school where i'll be coming in the fall come on guys

um pilates is kind of like yoga, but without the spiritual side. And there's a... I don't know what yoga is. I don't want your damn spiritual agenda. But I think Pilates really focuses on creating a very stable core. So working on, you know... Like your family. Yeah.

My ministry. All right. In the noggin. You mean like your actual crotch? Yeah. Like that's all. Your vaginal floor is very strong. Your kegels.

Your kegels. All those things. Okay. Yeah. Um, all right. I didn't know. Cause I know that they use,

they have like a stretcher machines. And then there's that kind of, there's a Pilates reformer, but that's for rich people. I've never taken those classes. Yeah. Isn't it weird? Because if you showed like medieval. Any weakness. What's that? Pilates would get you.

What? Nothing. So I brought two beers. I think if you showed medieval... I've had a beer and a quarter of another beer. Medieval serfs that, like, this is the equipment that the richest of all of us work out on. They'd be like,

similar to what somebody would steal a chicken would be subjected to. Yeah, and also what's working out. Yeah, also, what is this? And why are you telling me this about the future? Yeah, and how are you so old? The oldest person I ever met was 30. And why don't you speak our regional dialect? And what's that in your mouth?

Those shiny white things. Yeah, yeah. Et cetera. Why do you smell like a flower? Yeah, medieval people be crazy. Okay, yes. See, medieval people drive a car like this. Clippity-cl Clippity clop

But like a modern person does like Vroom Yeah see medieval people dance like this I want a jousting match Or step step step Step step but like modern people Are like grinding in the butt Medieval people they be drinking grog

don't even have utensils y'all no utensils medieval people they be dying in childbirth yeah their birth canal ain't so strong. Like ours, on account of kegels. Their vaginal floor. We should open a store called Vaginal Flooring. A flooring place for women. Because you know, you don't like men looking at you while you're choosing Kyle. Yeah, especially not from under that glass floor that you put. I'm not sure.

Vaginal Flooring. That vaginal floor. Alright. Good stuff, everybody. Thank you, bisexual. This comes to us from Dan L. Dan L. says that it's an old picture but I finally found a perfect venue for it.

This is seen in one of the elevators in my old apartment building in Harlem, New York City. Surprisingly, unlike the elevators in Subway, this one didn't smell of urine. What did you say? I said, oh, that Harlem. Yeah, not the one in Holland. The sign on the

elevator says, please use the north side elevator to access garage. Due to painting on the south tower lower level, it will be closed tonight. Sorry for the incontinence. Which, he was right. It's a lot of, it sounds like a lot of elevators in that area.

Probably had that problem. Anyways. And our third Pretty good. It's pretty good, right? I have to find out who this is from. This one is a this is a lengthy one so i am recruiting uh alicia to be this one's like a little play this is kind of like a little play this is apparently you know it started uh it was it was real it's from dale m and dale m um said uh boy have i got an overheard for you my next door neighbors are always having

loud fights on the front porch. During this particular fight, I was sitting on my porch in plain sight of them while the whole thing took place. It was so good I had to write down the best parts. So I will be the fella and Alicia will be playing the lady. Gender bending. Yeah. Okay, so this is scene one. There's three scenes.

Okay. Scene one. When's the last time you read a book? I'm reading one right now. But before that. Don't you fucking worry about it. When's the last time you read a book, dumbass? Scene two.

I work all goddamn day to give you all my money. I've had the same $10 in my pocket for the last four days. That's because I'm giving you money all the time. And all you buy is weed and cocaine. Shut up. Don't tell me to shut up. I was just sitting here reading and then you come and bitch at me. You always acting like a little bitch.

Scene three. At least she's reading. Yeah. Scene three. Give me 20 bucks. See? What the fuck did I just tell you? And scene. Good acting. Scene three. Give me 20 bucks. See? What the fuck did I just tell you? And scene. Good acting.

Well done. I'm a voice actor. You guys want to put that on your reels? So those were great and thank you very much everybody for sending in your overheards and overseens. Like I said, if you want to send them in, you can send them to StopPodcastingYourself

at gmail.com. And if you'd like to call in an overheard using the power of your voice, you can call us at 206-339-8328. That's 206-339-TEET. Like these people

have. Hi, I'm calling in with an overheard. My name is Sam, but I'm actually calling this in for my sister who doesn't want to call herself. She works in the public school system in Chicago and she was in middle school and she was in the cafeteria one day and this seventh grader was there with ice cream

covering his face, all over his face, this little fat kid. And he was next to a friend of his and his friend said, so why is that kid so mad at you? And the first kid says, oh, he's just jealous that I'm a superhero. Yeah, it does breed that way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think Lois was always jealous of Superman a little bit.

Really? I picked that up as a vibe over the different incarnations. She was a super lady. My eye contact is not because I understand what you're talking about, but I don't understand what you're talking about. This is embarrassing. The only Superman I know is

Dean Cain and Terry Hatcher. I was hoping you'd say that. Really? One of the first drive-ins I ever went to was Superman. The original? The second one. Okay. And that was something that I noticed watching Twilight,

was they lifted a bunch of stuff from Superman 1 in Twilight, where he takes her on the crazy... Rubella is kind of like a Lois character? Yeah. Is it Rubella? I don't think that's what her name is. No, I think it's Isabella. Okay. Rubella. She's too pretty to Is it Rubella? I don't think that's what her name is. No, I think it's Isabella.

Okay. Rubella. She's too pretty to be called Rubella. She should be called Bella Bella. Am I right? Who are you high-fiving? The air. Okay. Yeah, those Twilight movies look great.

Next call. Hey, guys. This is Joe from Minneapolis, Minnesota. And I have an overheard that just happened today. I'm a graphic designer, like 90% of the listeners. And I finished work early today. And I was walking home from my studio to my apartment. And there's a middle school in between the two.

So I was walking past it. And there were these two little dudes sitting on a bench after school and one of them was saying to the other, he's trying to whisper, but he's actually coming out like a normal volume. And I heard this one kid say, wait, so girls have hair down there too? And the other kid goes, yeah, man. And then there's this long pause. And then the other kid just goes, wow,

I always thought that was just a myth. All right, thanks, guys. I was waiting for that episode of Mythbusters. Being a little racy for them. I wanted to see them do it with the red-headed chick. Prove it right or wrong. Oh, come on. Not do it with her.

Answer. But do it with her. Yeah, come on. Not do it with her. Answer. But do it with her. Yeah, the myth. But that kind of, it's like our drug talk earlier. Yeah, yeah, like where you're trying to piece it together. Yeah, I remember there was, when I was like a Cub Scout. Yeah. there was a when i was a like a cub scout yeah there was some song that people wrote about a guy in our uh group and i don't remember most of the song i just remember that in the song they pull

down the guy's pants and they go there was nothing there but a hole in hair which uh as a kid i was like oh well i Like, you don't associate one with the other. Like, there was hair and a hole. Like, they weren't one and the same. What other camp songs did you have? That's the only one I remember. It wasn't one that we... Was his name John Jacob Jingleheimer?

He was tortured relentlessly. No, it was John Henry. He was the steel driver. Oh, okay, yeah, yeah. I don't know. Did he live down by the bay where the watermelons grow? That's a great song. Yeah, you ever seen a bat chasing a rat?

Sure. We should get together and do a folk thing. Yeah, sure. A three-man acoustical jam. Next call? Okay okay the third and ultimate hey david graham i've got a overheard for you i um i deliver papers and i was just at the uh the depot loading up my papers and uh two of the other carriers were um you know they were they were normal guys they weren't wussy guys, and they were complaining about a woman.

I assume the one guy having woman problems. I wasn't really paying attention until the other guy summed up the whole situation with, yeah, man, I mean, it's like, if you don't know me now, you're never going to know me. Is that how the song goes? Yeah, yeah. Well, I mean, it's a song. He doesn't say it as fast. Yeah.

Do you want me to sing it? He was talking about delivering papers. Do you remember when children used to deliver papers? Yeah, that's weird. The weird shift is because when I was a kid, I had friends that delivered newspapers, and that was a thing. And now all the newspaper delivery things in the ads, and I know, because I've looked, I'll say must-have vehicle. And be willing to slaughter chickens. Wrap them in the newspaper and deliver them on time. But yeah, well, I think my brother used to deliver newspapers.

But that was when Vancouver had an afternoon newspaper instead of a morning one. Oh, really? That makes more sense for the West Coast. Yeah. I feel like reading now. Sure. Didn't newspapers, wasn't that always the thing?

They would have the early edition, and then the final edition was in the afternoon. Like, it was not the old-time system where you would get, like, one paper in the morning, and then there would be afternoon. You get the extra, and you get extry. Extry, extry. So, yeah, those were great.

Great overheards. If you want to call us, call 206-339-8328. So, we have a segment we've only done once before. We did it with Charlie Demers, I believe. The other four-timer. We should make it the four-timer segment. Yeah, this is the four-timer segment. That's a good idea.

And it's a thing we call Fake Band, Real Band. And we don't have a theme for it, but Alicia, she's so kind as to provide us with one. So without any further ado, go ahead and sing our new theme song. We're going to play a game. It's called Fake Band, Real Band. You know it's true. It's a game, it's called Fake Band, Real Band. You know it's true. It's a game, all right. Yeah, it's a game, all right.

It's going to be great. Now, this game, Graham has researched a bunch of fake band names from the internet. What website do you use? I will never go there because I do not want to be spoiled. This time, I didn't use any one website. I just scoured the internet looking for a fake band. When we say fake band, a band from a movie. A TV show or a movie.

Yeah. Like the band in the movie Rockstar starring Mark Wahlberg. I think they were called Steel Dragon. And Mark Wahlberg was in a... His last name was Steel Dragon. Yeah. He was in a... His last name was Steel. He was in a tribute band of theirs. I want to say Blood Poison or something. That may be way off.

And then there was another rival tribute band of theirs. And the lead singer of that one was the lead singer from Third Eye Blind. Oh, wow. See, that would be some good mining for this particular game. I didn't even think of Rock Band. Rockstar. Rock. Yeah, correct.

Also, the Oneeders. Sure, the Wonders. So I'll just say one at random, and you just decide if you think it's more... More? If you think it sounds like a fake band or you think it sounds like a real band. These all, to me, every single one of these sounds fake to me. Okay, how many are there? I can do however many of each.

Alright. I'm bored of it already. I'm on board. Okay, the first band. Pelvic Meatloaf. Real band. Real band? You say real band?

It's a meatloaf tribute band that plays at vaginal flooring. Fake band. You think it's a fake band? I'm playing the devil's advocate. Oh, really? Because it goes to Alicia. It is a real band. It is a Phoenix, Arizona-based metal band.

Oh, Pelvic Meatloaf. Pelvic Meatloaf. You gotta see a doctor, am I right? You're not wrong. My Pretty Pony. Oh, that's a fake band. Fake band. Is it though?

Real band. You think it's a real band? Yeah. Alicia's saying it's a real band. You're sticking with fake band? Fake-o. I like how there's going to be a lot of disagreement. Yeah.

It's actually a fake band. One for a shumka. It's a band from the television show Veronica Mars. Oh, that's a great show. That's something... Is it now? Playing on the Cosmopolitan channel. I'm sure our listeners are mad at you.

I got it right. Yeah. But that's a very popular show that I've never watched. Yeah, me neither. I like that girl. Veronica Mars, also a good name for a fake band. Yeah, 30 seconds to Veronica Mars. Yeah.

Oh, hello. What's going on here? Okay. The Pinheads. That's going on here? Okay. The Pinheads. That's a real band. Fake band. Alicia says fake. Dave?

Oh, geez. It's both. It might be both. It sounds real. But for my purposes, it's one or the other. Okay, it's fake. You say fake? You say?

Real. Oh, you switched. So you're, it's one or the other. Oh, okay. It's fake. You say fake? You say? Real. Oh, you switched. So you're saying it's real. You're saying it's fake. In this case, it is fake. It is the band that Michael J. Fox's character, Marty McFly, plays in Back to the Future. They're just too darn loud. Yeah, they're just too darn loud.

That's Huey Lewis. They played Huey Lewis's Power of Love, but the instrumental version. Yeah, and he said, too loud. Not enough Huey Lewis is what he wanted to say. Yeah, too much news. Give me the news, not the weather. So you're up 2-1? Yeah, we're not competing.

No. Okay. Okay, guys. Ready? Yeah. Is that right? We're not competing. No. Okay. Okay, guys. Ready? Yeah. The Electric Prunes. Real band. I feel like I've definitely heard it before, but I don't know if I've heard it.

You've heard it when you were eating prunes. I don't know if I've heard it as, you know, the band on the Wonder Years. Right, right. That would be Electric Shoes. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's right was the Electric Shoes. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's right, the Electric Shoes. Let's say, what did you say, Alicia? I said real band.

Okay, fake. Oh, it is actually a real band. It is a psychedelic band from the 60s that had a song on the Easy Rider soundtrack. Oh, okay, yeah. Everybody knows that. They were kind of like a strawberry alarm clock. They're kind of like a white hot chocolate. Vanilla fudge.

That's what it was. Okay. Way No Way. Yes. Real band. Real band. You both say real band. You are both incorrect. I'm thinking of what's not what. Way No Way

is Ross and Chandler's band when they were in the 80s on Friends. Way No Way is Ross and Chandler's band when they were in the 80s on Friends. Oh, Way Not Way. No, Way No Way. Whatever. You just made up a new fake band. No, that's real. Just me and Grandpa. Alright.

Sticky Butterfingers. Fake. Real. It's actually a fake band from Law & Order SVO. Probably saw that one. All right. One last one. Are you winning, Alicia?

I think Alicia's winning. My last track. This game is so riveting. Well, I spent a lot of time on it. So I'm glad that you're... You know what? A little too late over there it's just really hot in here

let's take off all the clothes alright everybody frozen embryos real too rich for my blood Alicia's out so you say real

why do you think it's fake because that's the only but you agreed at one point way no way way no way but that's just because i answered so quickly she thought i must know something so you're saying fake i'm saying fake you're saying real i guess i forget embryonic uh a rockabilly embryonic polka dotted fighter pilot. It's called Frozen Embryos. Okay. Yep. Whatever I said.

Yeah. It is fake. It was Jared Leto's band from My So-Called Life. Oh. Or Jordan Catalano. Yeah. 30 seconds to Veronica Mars. I never saw that show.

Me neither. I did. I watched every episode. Really? Yeah. I was, because I was this, I think, if I'm every episode because I was this I think if I'm not mistaken I was the same age

and yeah I was a gay black man so I related to that character sure you were the same age as Claire Danes I think so and when the show came out or at least I was in the same school of thought yeah she was in holistic same school of thought. Yeah, she was in

the Grunge. Grunge was very popular. I remember someone at work telling me I'd really like it. I was like, what's it about? They're like, well, there's a bunch of high school kids. I was like, well, I'm not in high school anymore. Yeah, I can't go back and watch TV shows. I can't really check in unless it's Degrassi, which is timeless. Yeah, I watched every episode of Degrassi.

The new series as well. Oh, really? Yeah. But I can't go back. Like, I've tried to. I've tried to watch Freaks and Geeks. It's like going black. Have you watched Glee? No.

No. No, I don't. Do you watch Glee? No, I've seen a couple of episodes, but there's a name for Glee fans. It's cute. Well, it's not cute. What is it?

And I've heard this discussed on another podcast. Well, then let's not do it. Okay well it's not cute and i've heard this discussed on another podcast well then let's not do it okay let's not talk about it a type of spitting yeah um but uh when i uh at bumbershoot last year they're handing out free glee stuff oh yeah you have a glee i have a glee hat and i went on stage with it and no one knew what glee was. She gave it to Darcy Michael. He loves that show. Well, no. It's mine. And I'll sell it on eBay. But no one in the audience knew. Sell it on Glee Bay. Never mind.

I'm not going to say my thing. That's great. Those are great. Slowly but surely, your shirt's becoming transparent from my sweating. It's so hot in here, guys. It's that hot. Guys, let's take a hot bath. Well, I wasn't hot for a while. Now I'm really hot. here, guys. It's not that hot. Guys, let's take a hold of this. Well, I wasn't hot for a while. Now I'm really hot.

Yeah, actually, it's steamy. Do you know what would be fun is if you're listening to this episode in like November and someplace cold and it'll remind you of when times are hot. Yeah.

And this is... Like what I did today. I listened to Christmas episode or Christmas songs during the day to cool me down. You're just kind of an idiot. What?

No. You're perfect. It an idiot. What? No. You're perfect. It's psychological. Yeah, I know, but you can fool yourself? Mm-hmm. I'm very dumb. Do you know that you're the one playing the trick on you? Yeah.

I also wrap my own Christmas presents to myself at Christmas. What's this? Was your playlist called Duh? That was too far. I didn't deserve that big of a laugh. But hey, guys out there, anybody who's trying to beat the heat, I tried something. Yeah. And it really works.

If you have just a small fan and you put frozen bottles of water, frozen embryos, if you have access to. But if you put frozen bottles of water behind the fan, it operates like a makeshift air conditioner. Oh. It does. All right, myth buster. Yeah. Well, I just busted the myth of why it's so hot in here.

What we could... Never mind. Alicia, do you have anything that you would like to plug, or where would it be best for people who want to learn more about Alicia Tobin to find you online

oh god um yeah I know I don't know what to say whenever this happens I uh then just pass just like you did

too rich for your blood too rich for my blood there you go uh well thanks for being on the show yep well it was a pleasure Jesus

I don't understand this new attitude I love this show and you guys are terrific thanks for having me it's just too hot oh I'm sorry listeners it is too hot

let's get out of here let's just end it come see us at Bumbershoot and yeah we're gonna be at Bumbershoot also I'm going to be in Montreal oh yeah

you're gonna be at the Just For Laughs I just found out yeah two days ago I'm gonna be doing a show at Just For Laughs so if you be in Montreal. Oh yeah, you're going to be at the Just for Laughs. I just found out, yeah, two days ago, I'm going to be doing a show at Just for Laughs. So if you're in Montreal and you want to come to the show, send me an email so that I can at least tell you where it is, because I don't know

just yet, but when I know, I'll tell you. And if you enjoyed the show, like we said before, please send us your overheards, overseens, etc. to stoppodcastingyourself at gmail.com and or you can call us at 206-339-8328 and also check us out at

MaximumFun.org where Dave posts a blog recap of all the things related to the show and it's a nice little addendum to the show. If you like the show, tell your friends and help it grow and we'll see you here next week with what I can only imagine is another sweaty episode

of Stop Podcasting Yourself.