Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 123 - Brad MacNeil

Episode Date: July 18, 2010

Brad MacNeil returns for a super summery episode, complete with skinny dipping, summer TV, and the rules of Jinx.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode 123 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who, if you want to be his lover, you've got to get with his friends, Mr. Dave Shumka. Thank you.

You're going way back in the pop vault. Way back. To the late 90s, mid to late 90s. Summertime pop, that's all I'm interested in. Is that the Spice Girls? It is. So their first hit. Yeah.

Zig-a-zig-a. Yeah. That's all I really, really, really want. And with us, a very funny man. A funny man. A returning guest here on the podcast.

A writer for Urban Men's Magazine. Years and years ago. And a... Wow. And a... All of a sudden, a very serious beardsman, Mr. Brad Mc years ago. And a... Wow. And a, all of a sudden, a very serious beardsman, Mr. Brad McNeil. Hi, everybody. Yeah.

I feel envious. I feel a great deal of envy of the beer that you're cultivating right now. Don't be envious. See, look at it as a starting point and something to work towards. Now I have a goal. Yeah. Or you could trim it. Yeah. So many options.

Trim it to win it. This started, Maria, my wife put us on a... Do you want to get to know us? Yeah, let's get to know us. Let's get to know us. That will do it. Get to know us. All right.

Good thing I could put a stick in your spokes there. I appreciate it. Go on. Your wife, Maria. Yeah, my wife, Maria, decided that we should go on the South Beach diet. So I set the beard as, I'm not going to shave until I hit my target weight. Oh, wow. And also I'm going to wear

this straw hat, as I understand they do on South Beach. Yes. I thought you were making an Amish joke with the beard. Because those people hate carbs. It's like an Amish parody. What is the South Beach diet? I've heard of it.

I know it's not Atkins. Yeah, but it is. Those are the two diets that exist. Yeah, they're essentially the same thing. Donuts. To be a lot more sand. Yeah. Or things that you find on a beach.

Starfish. And you can't play for Cleveland anymore. Right. Too soon? I guess by the time this airs, this will be fine. Yeah, it'll be Atkins. The wounds will have healed. A lot of jerseys aflame. Oh, yeah. That have healed. Yes. A lot of jerseys aflame.

Oh, yeah. That's what I saw. A lot of jerseys, a lot of t-shirts. LeBron James is now on the South Beach diet. Yes. It's got to be really toxic when you burn one of those jerseys because they've got like polymers that wick away the sweat. Yeah.

So. But not the flames. Yeah. How did you get cancer? Was it a fun way? No. Polymers. Set fire to my jersey.

It was a fun way. I saw one of the ones on YouTube where it was a guy in a parking lot, and he's like, it's six minutes long, and he starts to be like, fuck you, LeBron. And then he takes a barbecue lighter and tries to light it, and that thing will not catch. And the lighter's usually, it takes four or five shots at it, which... And then he throws it on the ground. It's just the tiniest flame. It takes six minutes to burn, and the guy runs out of angry things to say,

so he just silently watches as his jersey goes up. Why wouldn't he just put it on the barbecue? Or start the camera when it was afire. Yeah, yeah. Or edit it before you put it on YouTube. There's all sorts of reasons well because you want to be the first one up with the uh burning jersey well in those six

minutes i'm sure there was 12 videos up by that point though um uh so i know i'm i'm curious about the south beach diet um similar to atkins atkins is is uh all meat no carb. Exactly. So for the first week, no sugars, no carbs. And then two weeks in after the induction phase, then you can have one good carb. What's a good carb? Yeah, like a cupcake. Yeah, exactly.

As long as it's delicious, it counts as good. Yeah. No, I think whole grain. I'll be honest. I have not read the book. Maria could be making all of this up. Just here, eat this and see what kind of mood it puts you in.

She's like, you should iron these pants because the South Beach diet says to do so. Now, we're drinking a beer today, Corona. Yeah, good carb. Yeah, it's a good carb. Is it? Well, it's got a lime in it. Okay, yeah. Yeah, it's the greatest carb.

Yeah, that was my question. Is that a good carb? It's the search for America's top carb. We're on vacation from our south beach and from yourself there's too much delicious food in the city i don't know how much you guys appreciate what an amazing you city well if you could see my stomach then you know yeah you've appreciated it once or twice yourself um how many quiznos are near where you're staying um all of them. Oh, wow. Yeah, they do pizzas now. Pizzas, guys.

Flatbreads. First day here was Panacook, which I don't think qualifies. A Panacook is a Dutch pancake? Yes. So we wouldn't shoot it up, and we will at some point be heading over to North Van for their delicious sandwiches at the Galleria. Okay. This is turning into a foodie show. It is, but I feel like this city deserves

mad shout-outs for the amount of good food there is out here. Mad shout-outs. We prefer Mad Child to do our mad shout-outs. Swollen membership. If you can book him for $1.24, by all means, let him tell you about a great pan of cook. Where to get a great sandwich

in North Vancouver. So it went... Mocha only. Was that like a conscious decision between you and your wife? Like we're going on a vacation so we don't have to follow the diet? How many weeks are in the diet? Again, until I'm told not to. Why did I ask?

I think, okay, the actual logic of it is you stay on it until you hit your target weight and then you can kind of ease stuff back in. But then you just eat as much fudge as you want. Yeah. Oh, I saw someone with the license plate yesterday. It was fudge two. Yeah. That's gross.

It's fudge number two. Stitch one, fudge number two yeah um stitch one fudge two I think yeah a stitch in time fudge is two that doesn't make anything

um so you're uh you're out in Ottawa yes and uh what's keeping you busy in Ottawa what's happening

right now I am working at a bank I work a call center job for MBNA so if you've gotten suckered into sure, I'll sign up for a credit card. I want that free hat.

Eventually you'll end up calling me. It's got to be a Tilly. I have an MBNA MasterCard because it had a Canucks logo on it. I never used it. I just liked having it in my wallet. Tons and tons of people like you out there who call me and yell i never

signed up for your card uh i have a record of the toronto mapleys maybe that was me but the problem being like a lot of people will call up to find out what this is but when you're at the game you often don't sign up with your actual information like you put in you know one one two two kissy kissy avenue so when the peacock smoke exactly so you try to verify what you put down, you know, 1122 Kissy Kissy Avenue. Vinny's Peacock Smoke. Exactly. So you try to verify what you put down and it's all like one or two numbers off. But to sign up, do you need your real name? You need to show ID?

To be fair, I'm not one of the people signing you up. But you're going to verify. I believe you do have to show ID, but it's a pretty quick transaction of somebody looking at it, looking back. So if the name matches and it looks close to the address, they'll let it slide because they're going to do a credit check anyway. A couple years ago, there were a lot of McLovin cards. Yeah, exactly. I was just wondering how much wonderful fraud you could commit. Well, that's what I'm doing now.

Well, I'm not committing the fraud. I'm trying to prevent it. I'm on the right side of the law, Dave. Sure, yeah. what I'm doing now. I'm not committing the fraud. I'm trying to prevent it. I'm on the right side of the law, Dave. Sure, you've changed your colors. It's just like, catch me if you can via phone. So yeah, I'm doing that and a lot of improv with Crush Improv. Right. One of Ottawa's top

four improv squads. I think there's only three. So I guess, yeah, we definitely make the top four. What are some of the other squads? The Parliamentarians? Yeah, sure. The Prorogers. The Grits. The Tories. Those clowns are hilarious. Yeah, those clowns on Capitol

Hill. In Washington. We call it Parliament Hill in Ottawa, Graham. I'm out of here. Okay. Always a hill, though. Always a hill. Well, yeah, because you've got to have the position to fight off invaders. Because you're on the top.

You're the sentinel. And so is the working at a bank, is that good? Is it as crazy as we think it is? Yeah. Oh, madcap. I got this job. I was laid off, and I had actually done an improv corporate event for the company, and they all seemed like they were in a pretty good mood, and I had call center experience

from working a chat line for five years. Yeah, the Evangeline Lilly chat line. The Evangeline Chili chat line. Chili chat lines. Chili chat lines. Chili Evangeline, because everyone likes to see her in coats. What was that? And chowders. Was that Live Links? see her in coats. What was that? And chowders.

Was that Live Links? It was Live Links. It was interactive mail. Did we talk about this last time? We may have talked about this. I feel like we did. I think it's great. Yeah.

What do you mean? You were scanned. That's right. We talked about this. You scanned to make sure that there wasn't anything crazy. Underage or prostitution. Or hadn't signed up for a live links card you have a thought but you're claiming to be a lady what i i would did anyone sneak past you any underagers that all the

time okay but it's this is fraud buster mcneil yeah now i'm better at it no it's um what's what's funny and i could never figure this out so a a kid would, somebody would call in and say, you blocked me off the line. And you would say, well, what's your birth date? And rather than just changing the year of their birth date, they would always change their total birth date. So July 15th. What's your sign? Yeah, exactly. Or how old are you?

18. What year were you born? 1918 would come out an awful lot. I like that, yeah, they're making up a whole, this is July 32nd. Yeah. The 15th of October. I was born in the year of the cat. Yes.

Isn't that specific enough? Let me meet some ladies. 1918. Great. Yeah. So. Isn't that specific enough? Let me meet some ladies. 1918. Great. So they weren't terribly comfortable. I fought in the Second World War, and now I want to get some poontang. I earned it.

There was something we talked about on the podcast before about John Mayer had a system when underage girls would hit on him or whatever that his question was what was the first movie you saw in the theaters? And then he was, I don't know if he's such a movie buff that he would know.

He's got the Leonard Maltin app on his iPhone. Wait a second, let me check here. That seems reasonable. Chuck Berry also had a system where he would photograph the girl naked and he'd say, Hey, she was willing. That's the way it goes.

I'm Chuck Berry. That John Mayer is no Chuck Berry. I'll say that. So you got this job by performing with improv for the company. Indirectly. Yeah. And then I applied for it as sort of a stopgap job and actually kind of liked it. Oh.

So do that yeah it's like how katie perry got into kissing girls exactly as of yet that has not come up but now she's kind of cold and uh and you're out here for a vacation and it's uh the canada's in the grip of a heat wave you in ontario have it much worse than the rest of the country. It is sweltering out there. It's the worst. Do you have air conditioning?

We do have air conditioning. I feel like that's something that people in Vancouver don't have in general. It's less of a necessity here, but the problem I find is if you have air conditioning, you become a shumka where you'll never, ever leave the house because you know that even that walk – Is that an expression people are using? It's the nation the sweltering nation i'm just gonna shumka tonight i don't feel like going out i'll rent something although that was funny last week on the podcast you were like after the podcast you were gonna go somewhere and then you're like nah i'm just gonna talk myself out of it that was a couple weeks ago. But it was great.

And you still haven't left. No, I go out. To be fair, I invited you this morning to come watch the Germany-Uruguay game. Where are you going to watch it? I'm not going anywhere. I believe you said, where are you watching the soccer game? And I said, I'm hoping I'm watching it at home.

Because some mad hooligans might – Anything might happen. Yeah. This is my favorite development late in the game. I know by the time this podcast comes out, the World Cup will be long since in memory. We're recording this on the 10th of July, the day before the World Cup final. We know who's won the third place. And we know that this delightful octopus

has predicted that Spain will win. But that's my favorite late development is the octopus has given people who haven't watched any of the games so far something to talk about. That octopus, pretty great. Do you think they're going to eat him after? Who knows?

I only heard bits and pieces of it. An octopus has chosen. He has had some success up until now. He's predicted every outcome that they've... Given to him. Yeah, that they've done this... Correctly, not just predicted it. Yeah, he's predicted it correctly.

That's right, he didn't predict there would be an outcome. And how does he predict it? How does he predict it? Did you... No. Okay, they lower two boxes in, and one box has, you know, one country's flag on, the other one has the other. And they put a muscle in each box. Okay.

And whatever box the octopus swims over to opens the box and grabs the muscle from has been correct. Huh. But then, yeah, I was talking about it yesterday with some people and we were like is that just at a restaurant where they were going to eat this guy and and he every day he saves his life like wilbur the pig exactly is this a charlotte's web scenario where this octopus is just like doing anything to just stay... Because octopus are supposed to be very smart. That's what I've heard. Anyways, great gamblers.

And they love dice. And they can fit through tiny little things. And kill a shark. Have you ever seen the video of an octopus taking down a shark? It's a small shark. But yeah. Is it a big octopus? Big enough to reach around it.

I mean that in the killing way. Well done, everybody. We did it. Dave, what's going on with you? Nothing. Who are you reaching around to? Well, as I was shumkeying this morning in my home, I like to peruse

what events are happening in the city so I can avoid them. Yes. Vancouver's Wreck Beach, our nude beach. Have you ever been? Yes. I actually had this discussion with somebody yesterday. I've been, but I've only been in the early spring.

Even the most adventurous dirty hippies were not naked at that time. I think i maybe went when i was a child but um interesting you were naked anyways but like uh i don't remember it i think i just remember there's pictures of it's like a rocky beach yes and there's a really extensive staircase to get down which is great when you're sober but terrible when you've been indulging all day in the sun. Oh yeah, and it's kind of like a deadwood

in that illegal activities take place there. Everyone takes a blind eye, yeah. There's a society down there. There's this area, there's these people, and this is where the greasers hang out. The Socians are over here having their debutante balls.

Yeah, exactly. There is a motor. The cool Asians. You and Graham. Baseball furies. Have you been, were you naked there, Graham? No, no. So you're a textile.

You're what they call a textile. A textile. I was, the first year I was in Vancouver, somebody told me about it. And I went kind of, I think, towards the end of August, early September. So it would have been people were kind of clearing out and going back. Covering up. But yeah, I went down. And then it was a couple of years later, somebody invited me down.

They were going to have a picnic down there. But by that point, I knew a lot of people in town, and I didn't want to see people I knew naked, and I didn't want them to see me. Like, I'm not proud of my body at all. I'm super ashamed.

I would be wearing a cloak right now, were it feasible in this heat. Erica has a joke about it. About how it looks like a pirate ship has... Oh, no, that's Alicia Toba. That's Alicia Toba. Good for her. All girl comics are the same.

No! I'm just trying to backpedal. Stir the pot. Anyway, I heard that today there is going to be an attempt at the Guinness Book of World Records world's largest skinny dip. What the hell are we doing here then? Ashumka-ing.

Yeah. Let's bring these mics down to the beach. Interview people's genitals. Have you ever skinny dipped? Yes. Yes. No. You've never skinny dipped?

No. Oh, it skinny dipped? No. Oh, it's great. The problem is once you do it, that's the only way you're going to want to swim. I don't think so. It feels fantastic. Yeah. It's like the first time that I saw National Lampoon's Vacation where Clark Griswold swims naked with the girl.

With Christy Brinkley. Yeah. I was like, that's for me. That looks great and I want to do that and the second i got a chance when you guys did it were there naked girls uh yes but it was everybody was submerged so you couldn't see their goodies right but you knew they were there but i guess they're always there yeah it's just not surrounded by just a beer when Just how light is refracted. Graham, you? The first time I did it, no.

It was just a... Just four guys. Just a bunch of dudes. Yeah. Just trying out kissing our hands in case girls ever came around. You had to practice, right? And then, no, you know, once at a beach where it was all co-ed, skinny divvy. But in Calgary, growing up, there wasn't a lot of beach time. That's why I don't think I have any connection to it since being out here.

It just has never been part of my life, and it continues to not. Every time somebody says, what did you do today? Oh, I spent the day at the beach. Huh. Would never have occurred to me. Yeah. That sounds like a great idea. The whole day?

Yeah. at the beach. Huh. Would never have occurred to me. Yeah. That sounds like a great idea. The whole day? Yeah. The thing is, I used to put up posters as part of part-time. Promoting stuff. Yeah, and I always used to, in the summer,

the best place to put up posters was near Kitts Beach because there was thousands of people. Wandering through. Yeah, and you go and it's just, I mean, for a lot of people, i'm sure it's just hey i'm just gonna lie out and have fun for me it was instant self-conscious yeah mania like i just because everybody in vancouver seemingly great shape everybody's in great shape the greatest shape of their life beach especially i it's crazy i spent a summer swimming in the pool there they

have a massive massive massive swimming pool. And like great workout. And during May and June, no problem at all. Would go down, like swim 20 lengths. Best shave of my life. And then come July, not only is everybody just, you know, tight as a violin string. But all along the pool, like 135 meters of the most beautiful women you've ever seen all sunning themselves. And I just found that I kept breathing on one side and swimming in sort of a serpentine fashion all the way.

So I had to quit. I can't, like the idea of spending the whole day at the beach, I would get bored. Yeah, I'm fine if we're going to go play Frisbee or we're going to do something like that. I can do something for 90 minutes max. Did I tell you about the one time I was invited to play volleyball at the beach? No. It was weird because it was one of those things where

I don't like volleyball. I don't even think about volleyball. No, exactly. A guy that I kind of a friend of a friend was like hey we do uh beach volleyball you should drop by sometime and i was like well i'm never gonna do that in my head like as he was saying i was like never gonna happen but i was putting up posters down at the beach one night and he was there and he's like hey come over and i was like uh but he they had uh beer so

i was like that's great but then like the more i watched the game and like it took a long time to sink in but it was like a gay oh but i didn't notice but like i was just like wait wait wait slow down i want to go through every step Where you kind of caught on to it And then when you really knew So he serves, pat on the bum Misses it, rub of the bum What had happened As I sat down

And like I say, I had never gone to beach volleyball So I didn't really know But then at one point in my head In my head I remember thinking seems like there's not a lot of girls here like it's like that scene in top gun yeah i kind of felt like a lot of a lot of women boys and then at one point after a particularly successful spike or whatever two guys hugged each other and i was like well that doesn't seem like something that happens and then i looked and they were all guys and they were all incredible

shape and then oh yeah that's a good boy yeah and then uh even the guy that i knew i was like uh like it just all came together to focus on like oh this is a uh an all men's uh gay dude uh situation i drank several, and it was great. I did a summer Shakespeare show in Ottawa, like one of the first summers I was there, and in one of the parks that we played in, we played this one park every Monday. There was a gay orgy.

Well, there was a gay volleyball team, but it wasn't the Vancouver breed of ultra-athletic, good-life-going going tanning uh gay volleyball it was the we really need to start doing something sure let's be really supportive of each other closet now yeah now what we can't just shunk around the house and do the the octopus reach around look at this guy go no wonder you don't go out. But yeah, it became distracting trying to do Shakespeare with a lot of, yay, good one. You did it.

And they wouldn't let me join their game. So the other, there's the world's largest... Skinny dip. Skinny dip today. I would Skinny Dip if I had my own swimming pool. Sure. And like a huge dick.

Yeah. Yeah, totally. Which one do you think you'll get first? Depends on much wishing. Yeah. But tomorrow they have there's a dance going on at Rec Beach. Hands above the waist, guys. And it's a dance going on at Wreck Beach. Hands above the waist, guys.

And it's a dance to encourage – Everyone's going to do the pogo. It's going to sound like a Clapper commercial. It's a dance to encourage body positivity. Oh, hey. Here's one thing like nudity-wise that has caught on. It seems like it happens once a year. There's this photographer that does these things where thousands of naked people will show up,

and he'll take kind of an aerial photo. At Wreck Beach? No, they've done it at Wreck Beach. Oh, I'd like to see a naked photo of Ariel. That's a whole new world. That's Jasmine. Yeah, I know. Under the sea. Part of your world thank you

you're naked naked but there's this this photo it's this one photographer that does he did just recently like two months ago he did one in london okay and it's just thousands of people show up naked or they show up in robes and then they drop. Is he the one who did the bike race? Like he had a bunch of people on bikes? Yeah, that feels like it would be the same guy. I can't remember his name, but I don't know how he... I'm sure in the whole world there's just one photographer who likes nudity. It seems to be...

It's a great racket. If you can convince thousands of people to take their top off, yeah, buy a camera. That's always been something that's mystified me. That's the thing. You need the camera to convince the people

to take their tops off. But you can't get people to give you a camera unless you... Catch-22. They won't let you... They won't give you a camera for taking your tops off.

Anyways, I just think it's, you know, it's a lot of dudes. I think the dudes outnumber the women. Of course. It's hedonism on bikes. I don't, yeah. Like I think I said on this podcast before, I don't understand what the naked bike ride that they have

is supposed to be in support of or prove or make you think about... Bruised Taints? The BTS. The Bruised Taints Society. It's a fundraiser. Worst walk-a-thon ever. Everybody's kind of walking like they've been riding a horse

all day. That was a terrible idea. Let's cancel it next year. To raise money for talcum powder. I think we're the biggest cause of our disease, guys. It seems that our annual benefit is really what's doing us in. I can't wait to see what photo you pull for that for the blog.

Of the Bruise Taint Society? I don't believe I will. I'll probably take the... Actually, on the blog, I've resisted... Because sometimes we talk about racy stuff. Not easy. I've never really put any nudies on there. Yeah.

No time to smut it up. It's a family blog. NSFW stuff. Yeah, no not safe for work stuff. Exactly. Graham, what's going on with you, nudity man? Nudity? Captain Nudity?

Captain No Pants and the Awesome Squad. What was the one thing? Did we talk about the show Downfall last week? The movie? No, because we only watched it right after it. No, it's not the movie, because every time I see it listed, I think it's the movie. It's a television show. Dave and I watched it after the podcast last week with Alicia Tova.

No, we must have talked about it. We did. We brought it up because I think I talked about the British show where they crush up your car. Yeah. But I had never seen this downfall. So the three of us watched an episode of it. And the contestant was a professional clown. Yeah.

And the thing is this. Have you heard of this show? No, I haven't at all. Let me explain to you the premise. Because it is like on paper, if I was an executive, I'd be like, green light. Because it's so ridiculous as a premise. It's on top of a building, four-story or five-story building. And there's a conveyor belt in the middle of the set.

Okay. And you pick them. All your prizes are on the conveyor belt. All your prizes are on the conveyor belt. I see where this is going. Yeah. And so then you pick a. All your prizes are on the conveyor belt. All your prizes are on the conveyor belt. I see where this is going. Yeah. And so then you pick a category, whatever it is, TV, dogs. And you have to answer these questions.

And while you're answering the questions, things are. Okay, the name of the dog on Frasier. Eddie. Oh, Eddie. The name of the actual dog who played Eddie. Oh. Moose. It was Moose.

Oh, right. Moose. That's right. Spuds. But yeah, the stuff moves along to the edge of the building while you're answering and then when you get them all right, the conveyor belt stops. And I think you

can freeze it. You get like a free something or other. You push a button or something. And so it's all stuff that breaks spectacularly like dishes or a dinette set or, but there was a washer and dryer. And that's when I kind of was fed up. I was like, I want that. Yeah.

Why are you? There was that other show that was on the Comedy Network for a while that was. Oh, the Blowing Up Show. Yeah, exactly. Which was the same thing of, I'm pretty sure a lot of people want that stuff. Why are you wrecking it it is super entertaining the weird thing was uh jimmy carr exactly yeah i couldn't think of the name yeah there was one uh item that was a trip to las vegas but they didn't just put two tickets that fell off

the building what two showgirls no it was a uh slot machine slot machine okay that got destroyed but then at the end like you're like this this is pretty, it's just terrible in general. And then it's hosted by a wrestler. It's hosted by Chris Jericho. Yeah. Oh, and he, one of the- Winnipeg's own. Is he Canadian?

Yeah, he is. Absolutely is. We were watching and one of the contestants was a super tall woman. And we were like, well, she's taller than this wrestler. And wrestlers are huge. Oh, yeah, right. and we looked him up and he was five foot ten and we also discovered his various nicknames over his career Y2J one was super Liger super Liger yeah I listened to an interview with him once on CBC where he went through a lot of his foreign wrestling exchanges.

Because he had been a heel in Japanese and Mexican. Yeah, he had Spanish names too, like something Corazon. El Chupacabra. Maria Corazon. No, I think the biggest tell, I don't watch wrestling a lot. Anymore. Since last Monday, I have not watched it. Yeah, since last Monday, which was raw.

But if you're ever watching it and there's a known celebrity on, like they have a boxer or they have somebody else, you'll realize how much the stats of these wrestlers are inflated when they're presented as this seven-foot phenomenon and then are looking eye-to-eye with the TV star. Yeah, with Kathy Griffin. Exactly. My life on the DMAT. But there's, so, you know, you're watching the show and it's very, it's over, you know, it's that kind of American consumerism, throw it in your face kind of thing. But then at one point, it was, you know, all the prizes had gone off and at the end of the line was her daughter was on the conveyor belt. So, like, she was answering. She was fighting for custody?

Yeah, yeah. It was the movie Ransom. Anyways, it just was so, it was the height of bizarre as far as a game show. I mean, I couldn't get over how ridiculous it was. And the questions, this woman seemed hell-bent on picking categories. She had no, like, zero chance. And some of the categories were easy. They all were.

Rivers in Switzerland. Instead of, like, Keanu Reeves roles. One of them was authors of the show. You were given the character and you had to say the author that came up with that character. And at one point it was Hamlet was the character. And she passed. And then at the end. No, in fairness, it was Prince Hamlet. Prince Hamlet.

And then at the end. No one thinks of him as that. Chris Jericho, like he's reading off the ones that she missed, like all six of them out of ten. Carrie Bradshaw. And then he said, and of course, Prince Hamlet was Shakespeare. And she goes, I didn't know you were going to go way back. Anyway, she got tossed over the side of the building and it was... I feel like summer TV is getting better.

Like when I was a kid, there was nothing on. And I think... I don't know whether it was people going outside in the summer instead of watching TV, so we better not put anything good on TV. Or whether there's nothing good on TV, so people choose to go outside. What came first? Summer or bad TV? I think the first show that I remember where they actually started

running in the summer was 90210 where they actually had the season. New episodes? New episodes throughout the summer and if there's any cast you want to watch during summer episodes, those people were beautiful. Or that summer of Saved by the Bell at the beach with Leah Romini.

Hubba hubba. Hubba hubba. Before she was the queen of queens. Yeah. And her father played by Timon Orpumba. Yeah, yeah. Hakuna Matata was his name. Yeah.

Peter Hakuna Matata. Yeah. Peter H. Matata. But now, summer TV, like all the cable, like HBO. Yeah, Peter H. Matata. But now, summer TV, like all the cable, like HBO and AMC has Mad Men. But it's stunningly Entourage comes back. Set your

calendars. Set them. This is the other size game. Next time you see an episode of Entourage on Spike, watch how big the actors are in comparison to regular size furniture. Those people are smurfs. But yeah, I feel like it was a very kind of immature view of the world if studios were thinking, well, it's summertime.

Everybody's off of work and everybody's on vacation. Most people, summertime just means you're going to work and it's hot yeah like that's all that summertime is is that you're at work and you're like man it's a hot drive to work and it sure is a hot drive home would it have been sports though because if i feel like well there aren't no real baseball yeah and baseball is a really frequent sport like they play what 350 games 162 games 854 games every season yeah it's a lot of games sometimes for a day and so why would you program they play 10 times as many games as football players yes isn't that crazy they don't get as many uh bone crushing yeah they rarely run

into fair enough guys but football players only play half a game. Fair enough. Okay, you win. Let's go to Nat Bailey. But when I was a kid, I watched TV. I didn't have to work. I could stay home all day and all night. And did. And did. You were a Shumka prodigy. I'm sort of the namesake.

My favorite was when a network would have a regular season show and then in the summer they'd be like, if you haven't seen it, it's new to you. I was like, wow, that's lazy. That's what you came up with?

I think ABC's doing that with their comedy lineup. I saw some ads for Cougar Town and Modern Family. They should get back to TGIF. Hey, did you guys hear about Urkel? I did. He Chris Browned a girl.

Yeah, he did. And then he said, did I do that? And the cops were like, that's great. Charming and precocious to the end. Jamal, you get out of here, you lovable scamp. Jaleel. Jaleel, I'm sorry. Hope he doesn't hit me.

Did he blame Stefan Urkel or Robot Urkel? Is that right? That show really went off the rails. The other thing that we were talking about, the soccer, and I forgot to mention this. I think I, like we were talking last week or the week before about how sometimes there's a commentator who's just by himself trying to fill time. This was my pull quote from today's game. A guy said, he should have done an awful lot better than he did there. I was like, wow, that's a really nice way of putting the tea.

Was that for the final play? Yeah. Should have done an awful lot better than he did there. It's such a weird sport where like... Octopuses are involved. They're reffing. One player doesn't make a difference at all. Yeah.

Like David Beckham came to the States. Yes. And then, oh wait, there's 21 other guys out there. And it's an hour and a half and you barely get to touch it. Yeah. My dick, that is. Well, there was a guy that they brought in in the last minute of the game who hadn't played any uh field time the entire world cup and they just like they rooted

him get out there rudy which prompted us to keep doing his voice of is it now my time for me to go in coach do you think i could go in i would really like a touch my family would love would appreciate it he's not even wearing a soccer cleats. He's sitting there running on flip flops and Crocs. No, I can see why it's so unpopular. It's apparently, according to a special, because today, again, this is now for people listening, it's a real backtrack in time, but today in Canada is the Popsicle Soccer Day. Yep.

I could really go for a Popsicle. Yeah. I could go for a soccer game while having a Popsicle. But it's the most played game in Canada, more than any other sport. I believe it. Yeah. But it's like, I only watch it every two years when there are the big tournaments. But I can see why it's unpopular because it's like, ties everyone.

For me, if they incorporated more animals and gambling, then I think I could really go with it. Or if they got rid of offsides and just let people score as many goals as they wanted. I feel like that stat is artificially inflated by those huge groups of five-year-olds chasing the ball like hordes of bees in the park. Because little kid soccer, you get 40, 50 of those guys playing at a time. So that's going to up your numbers. They need the vuvuzelas to make the bee sound. Yeah, yeah.

No, exactly. Soccer's probably the only sport you would want a little kid to be playing competitively, like a little five-year-old. How hurt can they get? Yeah, exactly. Little bruised knee, right? Grass stains? Sure.

Great. Tied it out. As a matter of fact, it's the sport most featured in Tide commercials. Yeah. most featured in Thai commercials. Yeah. But it's... Yeah, I mean... I'm cheering

for it because I have an uncle from this country. I'm glad that that's going to be... Get over it. Yeah, you're Canadian. You have no stake in this. You're Canadian and we don't have a team. We had a team once. They scored zero goals. The bartender at the commercial drive bar

I watched the game at today was cheering as though Germany was his home nation, was wearing the jersey, and he turned around somewhere around the 42nd minute, and you could see the silhouette of the tag still attached in the back, so he's returning that tomorrow. It's always my favorite thing is a comedian

sean proud love made the observation one year during um uh nhl stanley cup run that uh canadian tire had to put signs up in its window that said we will not accept return jerseys like all sales final on jerseys. Because they knew things were looking dim. I want to support. Yeah, but I also want my money back. Do we want to move on to Overheard? Of course we do. Overheard. Overheard.

I got to say, if there's anything as endearing and as long-lasting as Overheard's as a segment, I haven't seen it. I have. It's called Get to Know Us. Oh, touche. As is our want here on the podcast, we like to start with the guest. And I know it's been a while since you've been here, so you must have a doozy. I hear tons of stuff. No.

Oh, yeah. You must hear tons of stuff from the MBNA crowd. I know, but I don't feel comfortable doing the lines. Actually, can I get two in? Mm-hmm. We'll bookend. You go. We call it bookend.

Okay, perfect. It's classic. The best one I had from the chat, or at the chat line. I just assume all phone jobs are chat lines. No, from the bank was a guy calling in, complaining about how he shreds his statements all the time. And that was a very smart slash dumb statement he made about it of, I got to shred it because there's a lot of idiots out there, but they're smart idiots and I'm just a dumb idiot.

So I try and protect myself from them. And I couldn't disagree. Everybody out there is idiots. you remember uh other chat lines that there used to be ads for my the one i remember most was it would be a half hour ad of just girls in bikinis with a phone number on it and it would be cover songs and they did a cover of hootie and the blowfish only want to be with you a cover of rod stewart do you think i'm sexy oh yeah ah there might have been an ABBA song on there. You have a really tough time sleeping, don't you?

I used to. Did you ever see the one with the guy? I feel like we've talked about this. Is this the Pink Lime one? Well, there's a guy that could do impressions. Oh, yeah, we've talked about this. Yeah, that was my favorite one, because it would go on for half an hour or 40 minutes, whatever lopsided amount of time.

And then, yeah, he would do just the weirdest set of impressions. That would get you in the mood to call a chat line. Yeah, but he's like, the ladies are here. You're sitting at home. Why not call? And then you're like, what impression is that that he's doing? Is that not any danger for you? Don't respect these girls.

Don't respect. That guy does a hell of a Jack Benny would you like me to give you an over David I would love it well mine's an overseen I was at Whole Foods this morning your favorite thing one of my favorite things these are a few of them your favorite thing about Whole Foods is the

customer comment. And I walked past the wall just out of curiosity and I found a pretty good one. And there's one word on this customer comment that I can't read. But let's... It looks like the word orange. Or change. Or whinge.

Quit your whinging. Let's say it's orange. Either way, it doesn't really or sense. Let's say it's orange. Either way, it doesn't really make sense. The comment is, after visiting your store, I have nothing but contempt for humanity and orange for the future.

Yeah, he whinge. He's got whinge for the future. And they put this comment up? No, he put it. Oh, you just post it yourself? Yeah I think so No they usually answer it So maybe it goes from the box and then they post the answer There was one behind it but I assumed he just posted it

Over top of an old one I'd like to see if it maybe was a reply Yeah like We are sorry about your orange We would like oranges in the future, too. That is our mandate here at Whole Foods. Was mandate one of the chat lines, too? Yeah.

Pick up the phone. Wasn't that one of the songs for it? Yeah, yeah. I'm all alone. Mine falls under an overseen bit of signage. It just made me laugh. It was a real estate sign that had been graffitied. The gentleman's name was Joe Fair.

And right underneath Joe Fair, in very small, almost illegible pen, is fat. Is what somebody had written. Joe Fair is fat. Is fat. Yeah. Take that, Joe Fair. Yeah. Good luck selling this house now.

It's not your traditional graffiti. No. Usually someone would write, is gay. Yeah. Is fat. Take it. Yeah. Maybe it was a whole series.

You only saw the one. That's right. It's difficult to get along with. Yeah. As a bruised taint. Brings up inappropriate topics of conversation. Sure. As a bruised taint. Brings up inappropriate topics of conversation. As a bruised taint.

So the other one actually comes from my wife as well. We had a big discussion on the way here and this was something she heard on the number two bus in Ottawa. Climbing the charts. Last week it was number four with a bullet. bus in Ottawa, which is very similar. Climbing the charts. It's so close.

You're going to do it. You're going to do it, bus. With a bullet. Similar demographic to what you'd see on the number three Main Street bus here. Okay.

It's scuzzy. Exactly. So a woman gets on the bus, positions herself directly behind the line that they say not to cross, and is chatting with the bus driver

the whole time and rio is far enough back that she couldn't tell you know are they getting along is she getting a response what's going on but anyway traffic pulls out bus driver slams on the brakes maybe a little too hard and but maybe did it on purpose could have been anyway stumbles forward and the uh the uh the passenger in question starts to whinge a bit. And all Maria heard her say was, have a heart. I'm a mom. Which might be my most quotable line.

Anytime somebody wrongs us now. Have a heart. I'm a mom. I like it. And because she said it in the chicken lady voice, it made it that much easier to take. And because she said it in the chicken lady voice, it made it that much easier to take. I saw a lady today with, I think, the craziest stroller I've seen so far. Vancouver is a very giant stroller-friendly city.

Yeah, a very yuppie lady in yoga pants with twins. Would it have rims? No, this one, the height of it was so unnatural to me. Because basically, within half a foot, I would have been eye to eye with the baby. That's how high. So we're like five foot plus. So the baby could be an entourage. He had a red hat backwards. So it was a spinning image of a young turtle.

Right. He had just hatched. Reptile jokes. Oh, man. Is that show still... I think it's an amphibian. You're right. That show's still going, right?

Yeah, it just premiered. Oh, okay. Season next whatever. Did you see the interview with Jeremy Piven where he explained his crazy... Hair? No, the seafood thing. Oh. That he's been eating it every day and...

Well, yeah, and then he said that he got mercury poisoning and that he couldn't be part of this play, and people said, oh, he was just trying to get out of the play. But when somebody asked him about it, he sidestepped the whole thing. He's like, why would I try to get out of play? I'm an actor. I love theater. Why would I try to?

That's what I do. I speed the plow. I forget when, but like a year ago. The soy milk thing? No, someone else stood up for him, and I really believed them when they said, oh, no, he really did have mercury poisoning. I don't doubt that it's possible that you could get mercury poisoning, but you would have to eat so much seafood. What's the soy milk thing? I had heard another story that...

If people don't know who we're talking about jeremy piven is uh erigold he plays pibs all right yeah he was the checkout clerk in singles no oh yeah yeah and he was also ellen's friend on ellen yeah he was in every john cusack movie yeah he was in pcu and he was uh bald in all of them. Yes. And now, thick, luscious hair. So, yeah, apparently... Oh, he also played in the show Within a Show on Seinfeld. He played George Costanza. So he had come out with yet another press release

that he was developing breasts based on the fact that he'd been drinking, I don't know, four to five liters. I know I'm getting the numbers wrong, but a ton of soy milk every day, which just led me to believe, like, even if both of these are factual, you've got to vary your diet up a little more. If you're eating a pound of tuna...

I drink... Or you have to get a better publicist. Yes. If your publicist is like, keep going to the press with these crazy... Or start doing more stuff. You believe in the one food group, right? Seth Beach. How do you release a press release?

Why haven't we? Oh, you can. Do we put it on the wire? Yeah, in my brief time in television, I got them every day. Talk to Bubbles. Get him to bring it down. Omar will take it out. You have to put it on TV's The Wire.

Yeah, when I was working at the TV station, we got them every day. But you don't respond to most of them because it's like... My stupid organization. Yeah, this society is going to start planting trees in the name of... Bruce Pintz. Yeah, of Jeremy Piven. The Piven Tree Society. Sure.

Anyways. ETS. We also have overheards that have been written in to us. And if you want to write in an overheard, you can send it to stoppodcastyourself at gmail.com. And our first of three that comes to us from Robert S. Robert S. A few years ago, I attempted a financial services institution. My job was to go through every file in the place and separate out specific documents to be copied and shipped to headquarters.

Took about six months. I wasn't really allowed to do anything except go through files all day long, so the contents of those files became my only source of entertainment. Here are some funny things I oversaw during that time. Part 1. Favorite client names. Dirt Daru. Uh-huh. Theresa Titcomb. Teresa probably. Uh, yeah, okay.

I'll accept that. And Thitcomb. Would it be Thitcomb? Yeah, I guess. I've missed, uh, moved the H's around. Joe Tamburino. From The Matrix. Which sounds racist. It sounds like you're describing someone.

Oh, one of those tambourinos coming down here and ruining the neighborhood. One of those hippie Italians. Richard Hole. Dick Hole. Dick Hole. Why? Come on, in this day and age, don't name your son Richard if you have a funny last name. Dick Hole. Dick Hole. Why? Come on. In this day and age, don't name your son Richard if you have a funny last name.

Dick Van Splinter. And the final one was Jerry Perry, which is pretty sweet. And then this was the favorite last will and testament. Sometimes there would be copies of wills in the files. They were always interesting. This is my favorite. It was handwritten, and its entire contents are included below. Bill, compound bow and sports cards.

Dan and Bob, split collection of guns. Eugenia, old-fashioned colored dishes. So, some pretty interesting and, you know, kind of varied. But who gets all the mounted animals? They were buried with him. Oh, absolutely. As per his wishes. Like a pharaoh.

Now, I don't have any assets. I'm not a rich man, but I have accumulated a lot of stuff. But I would never think of writing up a will, you know, for... You can just tell us here. This will be an oral will. What do I get and what does Graham get?

What do you each get I don't Abby gets everything Except for Except for what she chooses to give to you two She would be the executor But what about Would you write that up in your will

Like dumb things I imagine wills are for people who have money The thing is Would you write that up in your will? Dumb things? I imagine wills are for people who have money. The thing is, if you don't have a will, everything basically ends up at the Sally end. That's how it goes. So if you had a will, if there was something... So if you want to inflict your crap on your family members... Which I do. That's the only reason I have the crap.

I want to inflict it on somebody's later. But yeah, you need... I don't know. Dave, we're not getting any younger, but we are getting more stuff, and we are getting closer to death. I'd like to see a will... Someone on Hoarders write up a will. All of my newspapers... I'd like to see them write up a thousand wills,

and then bury a cat in them. Just on the subject of ridiculous names, for years in Ottawa there was a real estate agent. Honest to God, Anita Hoare. H-O-A-R-E. Was she fat? No, just according to the signs.

Oh, right. Anita Hoare is fat. Why wouldn't you put it as a middle name? Anita Fat Hoare. There we go. It's fat. It's fat. Why wouldn't you put it as a middle name? I need a fat whore. Oh, hey. Yeah, there we go. Now we're playing. There's someone selling their house. Actually, by my parents' house,

the three surrounding houses are all selling their houses. So I assume my parents are horrible neighbors. But one of the people selling the houses, one of the real estate agents, is a former Canadian tennis icon, Grant Connell. Wow. So there's no money in tennis.

That's what I'm telling you. Well, there must be some. Well, yeah. There's no money in Canadian tennis. There's no money in Canadian anything. Huge badminton scene. Our second one comes from Brian W. Brian W. This is my overheard in college.

Yeah. Yeah. What did you say? Wilson. No, it's Williams. Oh, okay. Oh, the newscaster. Yeah.

In college, I was at a bar, and there were two guys at the next table. It seemed that the two of them hadn't seen each other while the one guy who dominated the conversation didn't seem too bright. Almost everything that came out of his mouth was hilarious. At one point, he was talking about his parents and said, the older I get, the more I realize how much I love my dad.

But not in a sexual way. Which is... Good to clarify. Sure. Later, he was talking about the birth of his child, and he said, my wife has a C-section. Do you know what that is? There are three kinds. The A-section, the B-section, and the C-section. The thorax? The C-section and the C section. The thorax?

The C section is the most painful. That's how you can tell she's an insect. So that's commendable. I like that he said that the dumbest guy was the one dominating the conversation. Because I find that's often the case. The first such instance was Etcetera. We sat beside

the guy who would leave his sunglasses on during breakfast but tilt them down to look over lewis yeah the hughes feldman and licensed to dress one of the two but the move that killed me like beyond the fact that he would ask questions and as soon as somebody started to answer fill in for them and keep it going was this is a restaurant in ottawa where they have a delicious molasses bread stone-faced dollies mad shout outs um anyway what are you trying to get uh molasses bread man i would go off south beach in a heartbeat if i got free molasses bro that's one of the good carbs is it a sweet bread uh no it's not brains i know what i mean is yeah it's like no it's like like a raisin bread, it's not brains. I know. What I mean is, is it like a cinnamon bun? No, it's like a raisin bread. No, it's, um, it's sweeter, but like you wouldn't, wouldn't think of it.

Mmm, I don't have to put anything on this because it's molasses. Right. It's delicious. Next time you're there, I will treat you. Sure. But this gentleman decided to, uh, order up a loaf of it for the table, which you can buy a loaf and bring it home. Sure.

And instructed the waitress of, just toast up the whole thing. We'll pick at it throughout the meal. This would be about a pound and a half of bread. The wife quickly corrected him. That's the North Beach diet, where it's chillier and you've got to put on the pounds. No beef. Last time I was in Ottawa, I stayed with you, Brad. And you went on a shawarma tour.

I did do the shawarma tour of Ottawa. That stunk up our house. I don't remember that part. But it was during the last World Cup. Yes, it was, absolutely. And you and I went for breakfast at the Old Dubliner and watched a game. Yeah, who remembers who? Nobody, because it was boring.

It's fun to half-watch soccer. It's fun to eat breakfast. Totally, it's always fun to eat breakfast. When's the World Cup of Breakfast Eating going to happen? Oh, wow. What country would win that? Belgium. Waffles. They would definitely have it at the IHOP. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think I would say... They are international.

And the final one comes from Laura P. I was on vacation in Boulder, Colorado and went on a tour of the Celestial Seasonings Tea Factory. You can go on a tour of anything. Yeah. It's so great. Just ask. The tour guide said that in the winter months, the factory is operating 24-7, five days a week.

I love that. That's efficient. You get seven days worth of work at five? Well, yeah, it's because they drink the black tea. Gets you jacked up. 24-7, five days a week. From about nine in the morning until five at night. But I love that there's actually a tour guide.

Someone whose job it is to give tours. Do you think he had to study up for a while? Had his wife quizzing him on stuff? What's the sleepy time what's in the sleepy time go yeah but that's what people don't know is the tour guide is a bear with one of those sleeping hats yeah that's the end they all that's the only tea i drink yeah and only when i can't sleep um but you don't wake up first thing in the morning let's see if this sleepy time yeah yeah lives up to its claim i've been watching these girls in bikinis listening to Rod Stewart for an hour and a half.

I gotta get me some tea. Yeah, the first strategy I used to get to sleep didn't work. Anyways, if you want to write to us, you can send them to stoppodcastingyourself at gmail.com. And if you'd like to call in with your overheard, as these following three callers have, our phone number is 206-339-8328. Hi, Dave and Graham, Impossible Guests.

This is an overheard I heard back in May. I've been coaxed in from some friends who also listen to the show to deliver this one. Anyways, I was coming back from the States, Seattle, driving through the truck crossing, passing through Cloverdale during the Cloverdale Rodeo. The rodeo was going on. As we stopped at this one light,

there was a pickup truck with these guys, I guess kind of Cloverdale types, shirts off, kind of farmer's tans, Coke and a dog in the pickup truck in the back cab. They were kind of shaking their fists, and they were shaking their fists at these protesters who were at the rodeo. And I guess they were protesting, you know, the animal rights of, you know, the rodeos and the whole logistics of it all.

They were shaking their fists, and as they were there, the protesters were shaking their fists back, and the whole logistics of it all. They were shaking their fists, and as they were there, the protesters were shaking their fists back, and the guy yelled, but they couldn't hear this, but the protesters figured that they were, you know, of course, cheering with them on, and the guy yelled, you suck, rodeos rule. Yeah, take that, debate class. Yeah, let it be resolved.

You suck, and rodeos rule. They're like the Pope. You can't argue them. White smoke. The Pope is, what's it called? Inconceivable. Undeniable. Infallible.

Rodeos are infallible. Notorious. He's notorious. Unforgettable. The notorious P-O-P-E. Hey, Dave and Graham and guest. This is Hubie from Brooklyn. Just heard a great overheard from my next-door neighbor, who's a real fucking douche.

He's, like, charming some British girl in his backyard, which is adjacent to mine. And I hear him just ranting on about how people celebrate the wrong figures. And he goes into, yeah, like, that guy on all those all those shirts you know i don't know why people celebrate him you know oh what's his name che uh che uh guava no che che cuervo yeah that's him oh you're like fuck him you killed too many people thanks i prefer my che cuervo on rocks. Yeah, sure. I think that guy should have his own book called Shit That That Guy From Brooklyn Says. Hubie Rants. There's douchebag across the... Fucking guy.

My neighbor's a douchebag. Yeah, it's good. Have you seen either of the Che movies? I haven't. I feel like I should. I like Soderbergh movies, but I have a feeling it'll have less of an out-of-sight quality to it. And less Jennifer Lopez. Yeah, the girlfriend experience.

Has anyone seen the girlfriend experience? I haven't. Because I've seen Sasha Gray's other work. She is a, for people who don't know, she is an adult film actress. Is that right? Yeah, but there are adult film actresses who do... Like, she's a very attractive woman who does stuff that I find repulsive. Like, I find it...

Like, I stare at it. What do you mean? In the adult films? In the adult films. Less in the Soderbergh stuff. But yeah, it's... Because it's always... I feel like any time an adult an adult actress like kind of crosses

over like be it a tracy lords or something or jenna jameson has showed up on a few things your tonic attains etc how would it's yeah sure that white snake porn yeah that america's funniest people porn oh god it out no funny no money? Yeah, she did it with the jackalope. Fast as fast as can be. Go on, go on. No, but I find it tough to broach the subject without actually describing some of the acts I've seen. Well, maybe you shouldn't. Yeah.

Keep your broaching to yourself. Yeah, just look up on IMDb. Look up some of the titles. Wait a minute. So she was a straight up, like, a hardcore adult film actress? From the age of 18. She's only like 21 or 22 now, but has over 100 titles to her credit. It's not a slow moving industry.

No. Yeah. But also, people gave her huge critical acclaim for this film. Apparently she's very good in it but is she good in the same way that Sharon Stone

was amazing in basic instinct in Sphere well no she was great in Casino yes right

as the as kind of the person that a lot of people in Hollywood say yeah of course that's yeah

why wouldn't she be great at that role like that's the role she was born to play and that the old thing in Hollywood role? That's the role she was born to play. And the old thing in Hollywood, there's a role for everybody. Howard Stern has only been in one movie where he played Howard Stern. And he was great, as was Eminem playing Eminem in the Eminem movie. Sure, and so she's playing a – she's not a porn star in this.

She's a call girl. A call girl. So, but it's that old. There is a theory, and I can't remember who said it it But a famous filmmaker said that there's a role For everybody Everybody could play one role perfectly But it's generally It would be a role that would be built around

Whoever that person is So what would yours be? Jinx King of France With his pants right in the middle of a ballroom dance What is this that you're doing? Bo Hinky, King of France, with his pants right in the middle of a ballroom dance. L-U-P, L-U-P. Da-na-na-na-na, da-na-na-na-na-na-na. What is this that you're doing?

I don't know. It's an alternative jinx. Now what happens? He owes me a Coke. So until he gets you a Coke, you can't speak? No, you can buy me a Coke. You can speak. Okay, fair enough.

Oh, we always played it until he gave permission. No, we used to play a different one that was... Good for you, sticking to the rules. Hey, I would have been silent for the rest of this podcast. But violent. But deadly. We used to have one where it was a jinx, and then

we did private jinx. We had to say, jinx, private jinx, because I guess that meant that no one else in the room was involved. But go over what you said in the jinx there because it went by really fast that's something my brother uh his friend used to do go on well i just want to hear what jinx buy me a coke bo hinky sure king of france wet his pants right in the middle of a ballroom dance alley oop alley oop so great but i don't know if that involves i don't know if you have to shut up then before you buy a coke uh i i feel like our rule was your name had to be said three yeah yeah yeah that was

but but that's not a private chink brad don't be ridiculous yeah no no but the same happened with us like we never did that buy a coke thing that was just something my brother's friend did and i i find it ridiculous uh uh but we uh because you're a pepsi man yeah everybody knows it you would do the uh uh you would say jinx private jinx and then you would count to 10 as fast as you could and if the other person uh said anything before you got to 10 it was off but um yeah and what do you mean it was off like the the jinx didn't take. The jinx was broken. Oh, man. So then the power to break the jinx was entirely in the jinx ease? Yeah.

Shunka went to Hogwarts, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But if you made it to 10. I did a homeschooling over the internet. If you made it to 10, it was time to shut up. And then you had to say the person's name three times. I don't feel like this was a part of my... Any jinxings? No, no.

I think the one thing that we would do would just be jinxing, but it would all be sports-related. What? Yeah, as you're about to pitch or something, jinx, jinx, jinx, jinx, jinx, jinx. Like a hex. Yeah, a hex.

Like a Jonah hex. Yeah, like the... What was Dennis Haysbert's character in Major League? Oh, the guy... Fuck you, Jobu. The voodoo man? Voodoo man, yeah. What was Dennis Haysbert's character in Major League? Oh, the guy. Fuck you, Joe Boo. The voodoo man. Voodoo man, yeah.

Man, that movie was a, let's say it was a compound racist thing. Like there was racist things on top of other racist things. And yet, if it's in the last 30 minutes, I'm canceling all plans. You gotta see it. I plans. I know I'm better than it, and yet when the door opens and the wild thing plays... Oh yeah, of course, you finally get to see pasties. I'll wait it out.

Where did they get the photo? It was posed! Yeah. Okay, I'm going to move this team to Miami, but in the meantime, I'm just going to stand here with my tits out. I'll get you guys. That was pre-Photoshop.

So how would they have done it? So, Graham, a role based around you. Yes. No, I guess it would be something just a... Idiot podcaster? Yeah, an unsuccessful comedian who lives in Canada. It would be, yeah, it would be something along those lines. Like things where they're like, use your life. And then, like you know how great mickey rourke was in the wrestler

yeah because he had just come off of years of being in obscurity and hardship and then he was so great in iron man 2 because he's because he lost his board man you know i don't think i've ever gotten so much mileage out of one movie that I've seen. Brad, movie based on you. Winston Church? No. I feel like the role that I'm born to play is the same role I get the auditions for. Sarcastic best friend.

Right. I don't think very many people are interested in watching an entire story about me but i'm like paprika how come that has never been uh you know when you can't have a meal where you just eat a bowl of paprika exactly or if you have too much paprika oh i don't enjoy that but a little bit really makes the meal. But what about a movie that featured the, like it was literally centered around the quirky best friend? Is that not something that if it was skillfully done, wouldn't that work? The premise I always wanted to play with and is one of those scripts that when I get around to it is start a movie with an 80s style cop, like road, you know, a car chase. And as the cop

is cutting through, knocks a car off the road and then they keep driving. The camera stalls. They drive away and then it's just that dude whose day is ruined because stupid cop ran him off. Then he shows up late and he was on his last warning. I like it.

So, copyright. Anybody Anybody writes that? $20 and you're jinxed What about you Dave? Roll The boyfriend experience A lot of beach volleyball A lot of driving people somewhere Waiting in the car A lot of nervous phone calls. Waiting in the car.

A lot of nervous phone calls at the beginning of the movie. Sure, yeah. And then towards the end, it's more just talking them out of going out. We don't need to go dancing. Want to see what I PVR'd? Yeah. That's a good, that's an interesting topic. I wonder if people, I wonder if the people out there

ever think about that. Like, what would, I wish I knew the director that said that, but if you were the person and they came to you and they were like,

we got a role for you, what would be the role that you could play best? That's an interesting one. Wait, they've got a role for you, but first you need to answer what role would you play back?

If your answer matches our answer, you get the role and we'll call jinx. And you also get this role, which is made out of molasses. Queen of France. Did we hear all the overheard? No, there was one more. There was one more. Oh, goodness. Hey, Grave and Dave.

This is Arielle calling, this time from Lethbridge. I was recently, as in last night, at a dinner function for a big family barbecue that was not my own family, and I had an overheard of a lifetime while I was there. Having eaten too much food and being sick of the company, my friends and I were laying in the front room on our backs trying to digest while we listened to the conversation that was happening in the dining room amongst about six or so of the family that was there. And I think the general topic of conversation was something to do with needing to drive somewhere quickly and cutting people off and the stories of that.

somewhere quickly and cutting people off and the stories of that and in a classic confusion of the difference between giving the finger and getting fingered one of the ladies said I've never been fingered so many times as one drive with grandpa that dog is precocious that's man. That's like a line out of Meet the Fockers. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Still Fockin'. Hardcore Fockin'. The next one is called Little Fockers. Oh, goodness.

Coming out soon. It's amazing. Great. Yeah. You can't wait for that. I liked the first one. I can say that. I don't think I understood the second one.

It was like it was a whole different thing. Anyways. The guy that they got to play Hispanic Ben Stiller's child is great. It's spot on. So you guys are both fairly funny, lovable, schlubby guys. Neither of which... And I don't think I'm going to hurt any feelings to say neither of you guys are cover

models. Do you find it distracting in Ben Stiller movies when he takes his shirt off? No. The first Meet the Parents, there's the whole scene where it's like, oh, I'm so embarrassed in the Speedo, but he has no body fat on him and it's clearly just shredded. it's still weird to be in the speedo the thing

that's funny about i would always be wearing a speedo if i look like that with a tie the thing that made me laugh well i don't know why you'd wear a tie but formal occasions meeting your parents pool weddings yeah Pool volleyball matches. But the only thing that made me laugh in that scene is when he walks out and one of the cousins goes, Hey, Greg Louganis. That's supposed to be an insult. It made me laugh so hard.

Hey, Matt Biondi. Because it just sounded like something that somebody would yell. Such a Mitch Gaylord is the way more insulting diver. Mitch Gaylord was a gymnast, not a diver. He probably dove a bit too. Don't question Mitch's lifestyle choices. Into pools of guys. Wait for me to be able to cut that out.

I like that overheard because I like the idea that they were at this barbecue and then we all went to a room to lie down and digest. On our backs. Yeah. Specifically on our backs. Lie on the floor on our backs and digest. Like going to a vomitorium or something. To be fair, it wasn't her family. She was admiring their traditions.

I guess like America's kind of – Next top model. It's like America's kind of... Next top model. I think their economics are not at that kind of dizzying high point that it might have been in the Clinton years or the mid-Reagan years. But do you think vomitoriums would have caught on if somebody introduced them as a concept, like a buffet and then a room that you just throw up so you can go have more buffet? I feel like part of it is that you wore togas. Oh, so, okaygas so it was easier to prevent yourself from getting it on your face and if you did get it on your face there was plenty of

fabric to wipe it off you're just wearing a giant napkin do they i are they for food or are they for for um uh i think they have them like at october fest for for getting drink to a beer the vomitoriums as far as I understood, were either for drinking or eating to excess to the point where you needed to throw up, but you were only throwing up so that there was a new empty vessel to put more stuff in.

Of course, yeah. Because it was supposed to be, how crazy indulgent can we get? I feel like, in some ways, the Empire of America, because there's a lot of talk about the Empire of America, it feels like they hit it in a lot of ways, but they never

got to that vomitorium level. Well, it's not that enjoyable. No, I mean, but... I have never won. Yeah, exactly. America's super enjoyable. You ever been to Six Flags? That place is amazing. You're right, Six Flags is amazing. The Vengabus is coming. Yeah.

Who's the dancing old bald guy? Is that Six Flags? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I thought you wanted me to name him. Uncle Junior. Yeah. He is like Uncle Junior. Do you think there was any confusion? I don't know. Where do we want to go

now? Are we running out the clock? We've done like an hour. Uh, is there anything, Brad, you're a regular listener. Yeah, well, this is a topic I brought up before we talked about, because you guys every now and then will mention, especially during the, the pledge drive, you guys had mentioned, oh, we're regular podcast listeners to a lot of different shows. Yes. This is just an idea that I had, and I don't, you know, I'm a big fan of all of the Max

Fun shows, but what other shows, I think, you know, keeping with the Mad Shoutouts. Oh, you want to talk about us and our listening habit. Yeah, what do you guys listen to? Because I'm an avid listener to your show, but I also have a lot of other shows that are in regular rotation. Okay. Some of them will come in, some of them will come out, but... Right, like a rotation.

Yeah, or Sasha Gray. So... Whoa. in some of them will come out but uh like a rotation yeah or sasha gray so i want to i just want to know what you guys listen to you know go back and forth see what you could you know um okay yeah i i uh there's a lot of really uh great podcasts that i download every week and i think dave probably has a similar i am i few months ago, I became a professional video editor again. Okay. And I had to drastically cut back because I can't listen at work. Yes.

Because I need to use my ears as I edit. You have to use your ears as your eyes and see from the heart. Yeah. And so that was very frustrating for me. But they just started piling up. Yes. But there are ones that I don't miss every week. Or that I never miss.

And one of those, I think, we both... I think we both like The Best Show on WFMU. Yes. That's a must listen. Yeah. Every week, week after week, I listen to that. And it's frustrating because it's three hours long every week. And I know I have like half hour ones that I could just to cross them off my list.

But see, that's the thing is that I walk everywhere. So I don't listen to them during the day. But when I walk, there's always, there's an hour of any day where I'm listening to podcasts. So that's how I mow through podcasts. Like I don't listen to them at home when I'm just sitting around. Oh, yeah. That's Lady Gaga time. That's Alejandro time.

So the best show is great. Okay. I listen to Comedy Death Ray Radio every week. I thoroughly enjoy Comedy Death Ray Radio. And I'm new to that one. That was only on Dave's recommendation that I started listening to that one. Radio Lab, I think, is amazing. Yeah, those are piling up for me. was only on uh dave's recommendation that i started listening to that one uh radio lab i think is amazing yeah those are piling up for me yeah radio lab and this american life are both ones that i

know i should listen to more but i feel like those are both great road trip yeah i listen to radio lab more than this american life which i find very boring always but when it really you well no love it not always but but i need to be, oh, you need to go back and listen to this episode. I really listen to each every week very religiously. Like, it's on the same par as the best show. Those are kind of the three that I have to listen to. Okay. And then I've, you know, I've become quite fond, especially because of the variety of guests of Marc Maron's podcast. WTF.

WTF. guest of Mark Maron's podcast. WTF. WTF. He's got, he's actually becoming, with each episode, he's becoming a better and more insightful and kind of more conscientious interviewer. And it's like the first episodes, it was him and his buddies. And then now he's interviewing people, not only that aren't buddies, but in some cases. Enemies.

Yeah. People that he doesn't like. Carlos Mencia. And they were so listenable. Yo, those are the best ones. Yeah. And so I think he's Super Ego is another one. Oh, yeah.

So funny. I think that might be like of the year this year. So great. I don't know of one that's more re-listenable they're so yeah yeah if you're in my car it's have you heard this episode and a lot of the paul f tompkins visits yes fantastic and and that's the thing too it's like just a special like subcategory of any podcast that has paul f Tompkins as a guest is all of a sudden the greatest podcast that you've heard. He's never not funny.

Has he been on Never Not Funny? Many times, of course. Graham doesn't subscribe to that. I'm broken. I subscribe to Never Not Funny, and that's at the top of the list for me. And I'm trying to think, is there How Stuff Works is an interesting podcast? And also for my own nerdiness, one of the editors from the show Breaking Bad did a podcast that would come out after every episode of Breaking Bad, and they would discuss the episode,

where they shot it, the problems they had, how they edited it, who wrote it, and it was an hour-long podcast or 45 minutes that would just discuss in detail. So if you're a fan of Breaking Bad, the Breaking Bad podcast is an amazing addendum. And also... Oh, sorry, go ahead.

The one I listen to... Another one I listen to every week is Doug Loves Movies. Oh, Doug Loves Movies is amazing. Huge fan. You mentioned the Leonard Maltin app. I also have that on my phone. So great. It's a fun game to play

just with your friends. It's a totally great game to play. I wouldn't be surprised and don't, I mean, you know, I don't know how they would do it, but I wouldn't be surprised if that becomes at least a pilot

for a television show. Like a Doug Loves Movies TV show. Because I would watch it. But I hate the other game they play, the Build-A-Title. Yeah, no. I hate sitting through that garbage. It works all right on Twitter.

It's less fun to listen to. The other show that they only recently officially started podcasting it, but it's been around for years, is a CBC show called The Age of Persuasion. Oh, about advertising? Yeah, it's all about the advertising business i've not heard this one it's uh i can't then guy's name i think is terry

malefsky is the guy who hosts it i'm not sure if that's his i'm pretty sure that's his name there's a reporter named terry malefsky well maybe i'm confusing it yeah it might be a different terry yeah i'd be terry erp david mulligan terry oill. TDM. Anyways, The Age of Persuasion is all about, yeah, the marketing and advertising industry, and it's so well done, and it's so unique. And by the way, Molesky's a horrible last name. And yeah, I can't think of any other ones that are... I mean, like you said, all the Maximal Fun ones. I listen to Jordan, Jesse Goh every week.

I listen to Sound of America. Before I listen to any other podcast, I listen to podcasts about Lost. That was the reason I got into listening to podcasts at all. Interesting. Nice. But those are all over. Yeah. Except for the one that keeps going, oh, man, remember?

Well, no, there are, like, I had to unsubscribe to them all. You think they were right? I had to unsubscribe because some of them did keep going. Oh, really?

And, like, they were like, do you care enough about us as hosts to keep listening? Yeah, we can keep going. We're going to keep up with Angeline Chili if you guys want to keep

listening to it. Angeline Chili. That is a tasty meal. I love Tex-Mex food oh I was thinking of it as like a summertime beverage Angelene Chili you know what this is great but we can I think we could safely

can I throw out a couple oh yeah sorry this was all about you no I follow a lot of the ones you guys the reason i brought this up is i'm really hoping to appear on no um the regular ones for me uh have you heard the bs report it's an esp espn one okay with bill i wish it was an esp one it's an esp one so they already know that you're not listening um and a few of Adam Carolla. He's now started a little network as well.

Oh, yeah. I used to listen every day, but now I... Again, it's kind of suffering that same thing that we were talking about, the five-day-a-week. It's fine if you do half an hour, but when you do five-day-a-week, 90 minutes, which I try to listen to Keith and the Girl. I try to listen to...

Our past guest, Steve B bays was on a couple weeks ago on yes it was fantastic yeah yeah i i do like listening to adam carolla or i like i really was doing the same thing like every day and then uh then i realized that adam carolla is very much from the school of you're on radio and radio is something you have on while you're working or while you're driving and that's but he still operates, like if I had just my iPod in a deck

thing and it was just playing in the room while I was doing other stuff, but it's yeah, it's an hour and a half every day. He repeats himself a lot too, the same stories. As if, because if you're doing a four hour set, I actually used to listen to him when he was on w or uh klsx which was the show they're now recreating on the podcast right like he's now got the whole cast yeah and that was four hours spread out but it was understandable that the stuff in the six o'clock hour would be repeated in the nine o'clock right

i'm not tuning out i don't have commercials i'm not coming back to this right i'm i'm choosing to download every episode so i've heard these stories but he is uh like i my hat is very much off to him for being somebody who was in an established medium making money and then kind of taking the initiative of not working in that temporarily and creating a whole different thing with a whole different dynamic. It's exciting because it legitimizes, I think, the whole podcast thing. Well, I think it's a good taste test for other people of, well, I'm going to start downloading this.

See what else is out there. It's Terry O'Reilly is the guy from Age of Persuasion. Not to be confused with his brother Baba. Wasn't there a Terry O'Reilly? Oh, Baba O'Reilly. Oh yeah, Teenage Waste Band. Weird Al Yankovic? Teenage Waste Band?

Like a hundred episodes ago we thought we would be we thought we could come up with spoof songs. Do you remember that? So we would randomly choose a band, and we would randomly choose... I came up with bands, and you came up with news topics. Yeah, right. And yours was about teenage pregnancy, and mine was about the who.

And the name of the song we came up with was Teenage Pregnancy. Teenage Waste Band would have been so much better. It only took 100 episodes to come through. Well, no, someone emailed right afterwards. Yeah, and it was like, hey, fuckwits, I think was how it was titled. Brad, do you have anything that you want to plug? I absolutely do. So, definitively.

So, Crush Improv, the group that I work with in Ottawa, is going to be doing a series of shows at the Arts Court Theatre, just outside in the mezzanine, as part of their Summer Fling series. So that'll be coming up. If you're in the Ottawa area, check us out at crushimprov.com. We've got a handful of listeners, I'm sure.

There's tens of them. So, yeah, if you're coming out, check that out. If you're in Ottawa, Gat in ottawa gattano yeah hull elmer orleans barhaven or farhaven for the locals sure kanata we'll take you as far away as renfrew wow but yeah come check that out and if you want to follow nonsense from me, I'm on Twitter as TheBradMcNeil. Do I still follow you? Yeah, you still make biting remarks. My favorite remark you've ever done was, do you mind if I redo this one?

I did change what I was doing. By all means. Hey, I encourage it. It's workshopping. That's how the best stuff gets developed. Yeah, that's what we're here for. Spitballing. Dave?

Nope. Well, we have a show at Bumbershoot that we're doing. The Labor Day weekend, Seattle, Bumbershoot Festival. We're going to do a live podcast. We don't know who our guest is going to be. Don't even say that. Well, okay. I know who our guest is going to be, Don't even say that. Well, okay. I know who our guest is going to be, but I'm not going to tell you. Don't even

talk about it. Well, you'll know when we know. What TV show are you going to get a hat from this year, Dave? Whatever they're promoting. Vampire Diaries. What's coming up next year that hasn't come out yet? Who knows? The Event. Have you met your father? What's that? It's the show that they keep promoting on ABC.

How about the one in Cleveland? Hot in Cleveland. I think it's going to gonna have to be a fox show last year it was all fox paraphrase downfall oh um it seems like a fox show no no oh a minute to win it that's nbc really yeah wow tiktok um i'm still i still really like uh what's the what's the uh one where you bounce on the giant balls? Wipeout. Wipeout. I love Wipeout. Yeah, Wipeout hat. That's what I'm hoping for.

Do you not feel like the last game takes too long, though? Yeah. Oh, well, no. Who's watching the whole thing? Yeah, but I always want to tune in for the exciting conclusion, and it's just a lot of chubby people falling. Yeah, the exciting conclusion that is edited,

and then they add the commentary later. And the sound effects. Yeah. Yeah, the exciting conclusion that is edited and then they add the commentary later. And the sound effects. Yeah. What was the... She can't keep her gas under

control. The next event is the vomitorium. So yeah, that's all we have to plug.

Yeah, you were about to say what was the game, but then you gave up. Yeah, I don't... You know. I'll watch it.

I'll watch it in a downfall minute to win it. While you're shumka-ing. Yeah. And yeah, if anybody wants to write to us, it's stockpodcastyourself at gmail.com. Or if you want to call us with an overheard. Or, I guess, something else if you want to. Recipes. Yeah, sure. do you got a recipe

for a good molasses bread yeah how do you beat the heat yeah what are you putting paprika in these days 206-339-8328 and uh thank you very much for listening if you enjoyed the show uh tell your friends if you enjoy uh paprika bread uh keep it to yourself and come on back next week for another amazing episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself.