Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 124 - Abby Campbell

Episode Date: July 26, 2010

Abby Campbell returns to talk wiener dog races, Just For Laughs, and play a round of Celebrity Crush Hat.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello, everybody, and welcome to episode number 124 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who will always release the Kraken when told to, Mr. Dave Shumka. Oh wow, that is a reference whose time has come. It really has, right?

Yeah, that is from the hit summer movie Inception. The Kraken files. Yeah, that's true. I really enjoyed Inception. Next. All right. And our guest today is a three-time returning guest. Four.

Four-time returning guest. Exclusive four-timers club. The Platinum Club. A very funny lady who is her own person as well. And is also my girlfriend. And is also your girlfriend. Yeah, let's call a spade a spade. Miss Abby Campbell.

Hello. She's doing her Stephen Merchant. That's my best Stephen Merchant in person. Hello. That's pretty good. All right, shall we get to know us? I'd like it. Get to know us.

Abby Campbell, fan of summer, right? Meh. No? It has its perks, but it also has parts of it that I don't care for. Tell me all about it. The heat, really. If it's too hot. But you don't mind the heat as much as a Graham or, say, a Dave.

No. No, I like it a little bit. Yeah? Some like it hot. Some sweat when the heat is on. It's true. Like yesterday. Yesterday, Dave and I went to a baseball game.

What? At Bailey's? We went to a nooner at Bailey's. A nooner at 1 o'clock. At 1 o'clock. Who was playing? What teams? It was the Vancouver Canadiens.

Uh-huh. Versus? Your single-A affiliate. The Canadiens. Of the Oakland Athletics versus the Eugene Emeralds. I've only seen two games and they've both been against Eugene. Yeah.

How did Eugene do? I don't know. We left after eight and a half. Halfway through, yeah. Eight and a half. We left. And we were, the Eugene Emeralds were winning six to four.

It's a fun little league. Sure, sure. And it's a great stadium. Do they have anything in the way of like a, like a t-shirt cannon What they had is BC Hydro gave out sunglasses And little hand clappers

They were in the Thai protest They would just clap clap clap They were green It was a protest for casual Fridays But we sat in the sun for the first bit And it was intense Yeah you guys do look a little sun kissed We sweat through our clothes I felt like I did But we sat in the sun for the first bit, and it was intense. Yeah, you guys do look a little sun-kissed.

We sweat through our clothes. I did, anyway. I felt like I did. I just didn't get showed as much as yours. Sure, women glow. Yeah, that's true. Women glow. Yeah, then we went and sat in the shade.

Nice. And as Jimmy Pardo would say, we ate like assholes. Yeah. Yeah, what'd you eat? Hot dogs? Hot dogs, french fries. Pretzels? Pretzels, lemonade, beer.

A frozen lemonade. Yeah. What is a frozen lemonade yeah what is a frozen lemon is that not a popsicle it's like a slurpee it's like a mr misty um i don't know what that is it's like the uh dairy queen slurpees oh okay mr misty so like lemonade with crushed ice i think they're called an arctic chill now or something mr misty that day i like I like that when you're this elegant, they call you Misty. Yeah, sure. So you went to a baseball game. Yeah. Had a little bit of sun.

Had just enough. I think we were uncomfortable. I think we made the decision to change. It's a weird, like the league, Vancouver is the biggest city in the league. It's like Vancouver, Eugene. Oh, you mean like city-wise? Yeah. Like the other teams are Everett, Washington.

Ooh, Everett, yeah. Spokane, Washington. Spokane, home of weird murders. And then Vancouver, this huge city in comparison. But we just have a tiny baseball field. And so I forget my point how many people were there 15 20 uh yeah a couple thousand i think it seats like four thousand it was maybe three quarters full but really that means you can change seats whenever you want and

nobody cares there's lots of free seats so we moved around a little bit we were right behind the bullpen uh we started off pretty much right behind home plate. Yeah, at the beginning. Too hot, though. Yeah. Oh, and the sun. But you pay, it was like 16 bucks

a ticket for those seats. And so I kind of felt like we had to get our money's worth. So we had to stay through four innings before we moved

to the Chiefs. Because the other ones are, what, 10 bucks or something? I don't know. Because Dave paid for me, too. I had to get his $12. Oh, yeah, treating the lady.

Yeah, pretty good. On top of just the regular. Yeah, so you don't know who won. I'm guessing the Winston-Salem Cowboys. I don't know. Did they sing the national anthem in Canadian and the American? We missed the very beginning. We got late.

We got late. We got there late. You just got late. But we, no, they did a take me out to the ball game. Oh, yeah. Yeah, we all sang. And they did a, there was a sushi race. Yes, they had like big foam rubber sushi guys

and they just ran or did they like they had a newie roll and a mackie roll and a big ball of wasabi yeah named Jeff Wasabi

named Jeff Wasabi and wow this sounds really good and they did a race and then Wasabi Guy had to hit a golf ball

yeah for some reason and he couldn't because he's been in a giant foam rubber suit and he can't see shit and he can't hang on to the club properly. This is a baseball game.

This is nuts. And then the grounds crew did a little dance. Oh, I'd like... That was my favorite part. The Macarena. It was to Loverboys working for the weekend. Might as well have been the Macarena. They might as well.

They come out and sweep the field, like the dirt and stuff. Yeah. To make it look pretty. And when they get to the one side, they stop and did a little routine for maybe about 20 seconds. Yeah, maybe the chorus. That's what you have to do if you want to be in the union, the Groundskeepers Union. Isn't the Groundskeepers Union a Soul Asylum album? So we did that.

Okay. And what else? What else has been going on? The get-to-know-us between Dave and I is going to be a lot of overlap because we did everything together. Oh, fun. Couples retreat. We saw couples retreat. Did you see couples retreat?

We did see Inception. I haven't seen it. Spoiler alert. All I'm going to say is it's good and it's going to be nominated for a whole bunch of stuff. Yeah, it's going to be nominated for Best Inceptions,

Dreamiest Movie. Most Leonardo DiCaprio. Although, that might be tied with Shutter Island. That's right. True. Oh, what we did last week Shutter Island. That's right. True. Oh, what we did last week, we went to Wiener Dog Races. Wiener Dog Races!

Go on. I'm ready to learn about this. Now, you, Graham, you go to the track frequently. You've got a gambling addiction. Yeah, I've got a gambling... Well, I've got a system. So, I wouldn't say it's an addiction. It's manageable.

We had never been, and we didn't know that it's free to go to the track yes you just walk in you just go in yeah they make all the money tickets or nothing i guess bets off of high-priced drinks yeah yeah it's a lot of ice uh but we we'd never been before and we um we we heard that there were wiener dog races. Yeah. Which you can't actually gamble on. It's verboten. Yeah. Well, the Bible forbids it. It's expressly verboten.

But there's horse racing going on at the same time. Yeah, that's how they... What? They're on the same track? Yeah, same track. That seems really dangerous because wiener dogs are really small and horses are really big. And they're brown and the same color as the dirt sometimes. Yeah, so the horses would just be stepping all over them.

Well, they don't do it at the same time. Oh, see? I just wanted to clarify. But they would alternate with a horse race and a wiener dog race. This is great. I never even heard about this, the wiener dog race. It's just a promotion to get people like us out there. Get them hooked young.

So there's so many wiener dogs. So, and like, are these, were these like private citizens, wiener dogs? Yeah. You just sign your own dog up and you get a little number. It was like a fun thing. It wasn't competitive. And the dogs hadn't been trained to race. So did they just run zigzag all over the place?

Some of them, yeah. Did some of them not run at all? Oh, yeah. Some of them went the complete opposite direction. Some of them went halfway and then turned around. But they would have a horse race that would go around the entire track. Sure. A mile.

Is it a mile? Yeah, I think it's like a quarter mile. A big circle. That's a drag race. Oh, yeah, right. For pinks. That's a drag race. Oh, yeah, right. For pinks. That's what Grease Lightning races. But they, and then they would move the starting gates.

They're attached to a truck. Yeah. And everyone would be wondering, how long is this race going to be? Like, how far can these wiener dogs run? And they moved it to about 20 feet from the finish yeah that's well i was saying like even that's a little bit far from yeah so the whole uh hundreds of people all crowded into this 20 foot one little area oh man that's great and then they they uh release them and everyone starts cheering and so half the wiener dogs just run towards the cheering.

Like, what? Huh? What? Huh? It's like the, was it Krusty the Clown? Like, no, don't come over here. But it's funny because the crowd starts off cheering so hard, and then it just turns into laughter, and everybody's just giggling like an idiot. That's really funny. It was awesome. That's really funny.

It was awesome. Everybody's so happy. And the dogs are running around like a bunch of idiots and they don't know what's happening. And the people at the finish line, like one owner lets them go and the other owner, the handler, I guess, as we learned on the dog surfing. Every dog has two handlers. Two handlers. And the person at the end is going crazy. They have their favorite toy or treat or noisemaker or something, and they are going just crazy at the finish line.

And the dog is paying no attention. You know who I bet hated all this? The gamblers. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They probably were revolted by this whole thing. All they want to do is more gambling. Yeah. You go to the track.

How often do you go? I haven't been once this summer. But you go, you've been in the past. I have been in the past, yeah. And it's mostly, and I mean probably on a day where there's a wiener dog race,

it's probably something different. But it's mostly old, older people there. And like really like if you try and conjure in your mind like what is somebody who goes to the horse track look like? That's exactly.

They are there. They are there to the exact like stubble design you have in your head, like, what does somebody who goes to the horse track look like? That's exactly right. They are there. They are there to the exact, like, stubble design you have in your head. That's what they have. Yeah. The one day we went, I think there were people kind of putting on a show and dressing up for the event. Oh, yeah. There's a lot of that. There were seersucker suits.

Sure. A lot of white. Light-colored suits. Yeah. And big hats. Ladies in hats. See, that happens. I think it's weird.

It's because there's always a mix of the people who are there all the time. And then people who are like, let's go to the track for my birthday. And we'll dress up. And so it's just like, it's a weird clash of worlds. But they don't fuck around. The gamblers. Yeah, yeah, sure. If you don't know how to place a bet, they will just...

They got no time. Yeah, no. They'll move to another line or they'll make the most audible like... Yeah, come on, jabroni. But there was one horse race we saw. I think it might have been the first horse race. And halfway through the race, one of the jockeys fell off. Then the horses came around

and the horse with no jockey was in first place. Wow. I don't know if he actually won. Yeah, he won. Or she. I don't know. The horse was like, finally. I can get this weight off my back.

I can actually run. Look how much faster I can run without this guy. I think he got disqualified. Yeah, I don't think that counts. That can't count. Does they have to be a certain weight? Oh, yeah.

They gotta have a guy on them. Do they? I guess they do. The guy. Yeah, but why can't they just race them free like wiener dogs? Yeah.

Well, because they used to have Greyhounds. Yeah, they used to have the Greyhound racing in Calgary. And that was really weird because the dogs didn't know how to like to run how to run yeah like they're actually trained they chase like a little electric

thing yeah yeah yeah that goes around the outside or whatever well i saw an internet video of uh there was they still do greyhound racing yeah somewhere it was squire barnes satellite debris yeah i also saw it on the internet that's where I saw it. It's on a number of places. Once these things go viral, baby. How do you feel about Squire? Do you think Squire Barnes was really mad when YouTube first came about? Like his whole satellite debris segment was just useless? He's still doing it.

Yeah. I don't think people who still watch local news really get the internet. No YouTube. Yeah. Computer. But there was a greyhound race, and they were chasing the mechanical rabbit. And then all of a sudden, a real-life rabbit ran onto the course. Oh, God.

And only one of the greyhounds chased it, though. The smartest of the greyhounds. Went, oh, shit. Oh, what's that? And totally ran the other way. Yeah, he's like, I'm going after the real prize. Yeah. Because greyhounds don't care about cash prizes.

No. They care about beneficial. So, baseball games. Yeah, we like to get all our summer activities. Have you guys gone to the beach? Yes. Yeah, we went on Gabriela Island. Wow.

Yeah, we spent a little weekend on Gabriela Island. yeah we spent spent a little weekend on uh on gabriela island and how was that it was lovely my parents were over there so we ate a lot of awesome dinners and took us out to dinner and a lot of restaurants on gabriela island they have four yeah what do they got an earls they got a new pizza place they have new pizza place woodfire pizza joey tomatoes it's good they've got the a-frame the old a-frame sure why it's called that oh clever okay the surf lodge surf pub yeah and the marina bay pub no the uh silva bay marina yeah are there people who live now for listeners roberts the new little cafe all right yeah um people don't live anywhere near here Gabriel Island is where? How far away from mainland Vancouver?

Yeah, it's... Yeah There are a number of... It's right off Vancouver Island And it's where hippies live, right? There's hippies that live there? A lot of the islands around here have hippies Artists and hippies

But this one also does Making dream catchers Yeah, making dreams come true Sculpture. Glass blowing. Tie dye. Jewelry making. A lot of tie dye.

Yeah. Homemade patchouli. Oh, homemade patchouli. It's really hard to brew at home. Like organic vegetables. Sure, sure. What was the name of the computer repair place? Something flow.

Eternal flow computers. They should shorten it to eFlow computers because then it sounds lowercase. Sounds a little more modern. 2010. A little more. Just a little. But we haven't gone to the beach in Vancouver yet and that's on our list. Yeah, every summer we just got to cross things off the list. So it seems like we're doing something.

Sure, sure, sure. You're somehow taking some sort of advantage out of the nice weather. And that was nice at the baseball game because we were outside the whole time, but we were, and it got some sunshine, got our vitamin D, but then we just sat the whole time and ate fried food. So you felt like you were being,

you know, outdoorsy. Doesn't vitamin D, that counteracts that though, right? As long as you eat bad food out in the sun, you're even, right? I think so too, yeah. As long as you eat bad food out in the sun, you're even, right? I think so, too, yeah. That's what I've heard. I sweat anyway when I eat, so. Is wearing short shorts one of your things that you're going to do in the summer?

No, it's not. I noticed that you're wearing a yoga capri today. Yeah, I'm wearing some sort of yoga shorts because it's hot. It's hot as stink. Not that hot. Today's good time. It is hot as stink. Not that hot. It is. You don't know.

You say you sweat a lot, but you're not sweating at all. And you're wearing full pants. Well, I am sweating. I just hide it well. I wear like the plastic bags. Just collect it. That's why you have such slim thighs. Yeah.

But squishy. I slosh around when I walk. Wonder red bags on your feet. What about you? What about me? Well, I mean, Abby and I are a package team. Yeah, that's true. Especially in the summer when we're both not doing anything during the day. Yeah.

I went to Montreal. Oh, that's right. The Jets for Laughs Festival. That's much more exciting than what we've done. I found out about it very late in the game. So I apologize to anybody who lives in Montreal and contacted me via the podcast saying, Hey, where are you playing? Because they didn't tell me until I was out there.

So I didn't really... It wasn't really a planned thing. And, you know, went to the festival, met a lot of people, people who are fans of the podcast I met. Unbelievable. I know, right? Who? Zachary Bluff. A guy named Bob Kerr.

He was kind of one of the original guys, I think, who brought Paul F. Tompkins to Toronto. Yeah, he has a podcast of his own. Yeah. In Toronto. Hold your applause. Yes. And he was a very nice guy. Speak in one voice.

And then, yeah, there's celebrities. Celebutants? Yeah. I met the ShamWow guy. Did you really? Yes, I did. Why was he there? I don't know.

Are you sure you don't know? Yeah. No, I'm positive I don't know why he was there. Nobody knows why he was there. They have prostitutes he can beat up in Montreal. Okay. Oh, hey't know? Yeah. No, I'm positive I don't know why he was there. Nobody knows why he was there. They have prostitutes he can beat up in Montreal. Okay. Oh, hey, now. Yeah.

It's true, though. They absolutely do. But was he on any shows or is he a fan? Like, do you not have any information? No information. I asked everybody that I possibly could. He was at just one of the after parties. Vince from ShamWow. Yeah, and from the Slap Shop.

And I think it was weird that everybody, because there were celebrities around all weekend, but this guy was the only one that kind of got everybody riled up. Interesting. Yeah, like he was the only guy that I felt like, I got to get a picture with this guy, and I was nervous.

Yeah, when Charlie went last year, he said that the biggest thing that everyone got excited about was mini kiss. Yeah, when Charlie went last year, he said that the biggest thing that everyone got excited about was mini kiss. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They should call this the priorities festival. So he was there and then also one of the nights Doug Stanhope was there.

He wasn't at the festival though. He just was there to hold a party across the street from wherever the after party was. So he held it in a car wash. People during the day were like, oh, the party's going to be at the car wash, which I assumed was a bar called the car wash. But it was a small, like kind of one car at a time, building uh rented out from two uh lovely immigrant gentlemen who realized too late what they had gotten themselves into sure um and it was crazy because at first it was kind of like a fight club kind of like because you were in there and there was

like some people telling jokes in the corner it was like all still wet from being a car wash and uh there was drinks in there and then by the end of the night, it had turned into this crazy dance party in the car wash. Everybody from the hotel, like once they found out there were free drinks at this car wash, flooded in there. So the whole festival was in this. It was crazy. Did anyone do any car wash activities?

Did anyone get suds? Did they play the car wash song? Yeah, no. There was no car wash song. There were no suds, and they play the car wash song? Yeah, no. There was no car wash song. There were no suds. And there was a shelf of dangerous chemicals that just had a yellow caution tape strung across it. Just so, hey guys who are getting wicked drunk. We didn't warn you.

Yeah. Donald Glover was doing freestyle rapping on a microphone. Really? Yeah. Nice. Yeah, it was really weird. Good experience. Yeah. it was really weird. Good experience. Yeah.

So I did that. And then I went, I hung out in a car wash. I met the ShamWow guy. You got stuff crossed off your list. Yeah. My bucket list. I'm this much closer to that. Tell me about the ShamWow guy.

Did you just meet him for a second? Just for a second. Okay. Got my picture taken with him, and it was great. And it was weird, but it was weird because it was like everybody else was just kind of there. Everyone else doesn't appreciate him on the same levels that you do? Yeah, exactly, right? Like you appreciate his earlier work.

Everyone's just kind of – But it was like seeing a cartoon character or something. It wasn't like seeing a celebrity. It was like... Something else. Yeah, it was something else. But if you'd been wearing the headset, I would have died. That tiny little microphone. I've seen

before the infomercial came on, I saw the ShamWow in an actual booth with someone with a headset. yeah i've seen that too um and i assume that was vince yeah probably i assume he just traveled with it before i assume he invented it as well i don't know did he invent it or is he just he's a pitchman i saw it in switzerland and they're doing it in swiss german so he might speak swiss german and be able to do the demonstration out of market market in Bern. So there was that, right?

Uh-huh. Just pour rire. Okay, is that Swiss German? I think it was. There was also a thing. They had a street. There's like a street festival portion of it. Oh, it's like a busker festival?

Yeah. It's weird. Yeah, it was weird. Well, this is why it was great. Sounds awful. Comics were staying in two different hotels. Rival hotels. Yeah, it was weird. Well, this is why it was great. Sounds awful. Comics were staying in two different hotels. Rival hotels. Yeah.

And Jane Stanton was staying in the one hotel. And she was like, why is it? Why are we in this hotel? And there doesn't seem to be anybody else there. But then on Thursday, all the buskers in the world checked into her hotel. And she is deathly afraid of buskers. I was going to say, I can imagine that's not something Jane likes. is deathly afraid of buskers.

I can imagine that's not something Jane likes. Yeah, it's kind of like the fear of clowns. Yeah. It's quite common. But a lot of buskers have clown training. Yeah, it's anything. Yeah, sort of clown-ness. Jugglers, plate spinners, any of it. And I think if you have a fear of clowns,

you're not necessarily afraid of the makeup or the outfit you just know one when you see one yeah exactly it's kind of like racism yeah you're one of the good ones so there was that and then there was this uh it was a thing like they you know they had uh booths i don't know what the booths were. I didn't know what anything was. Camelot? Yeah. Is that why Vince was there? It might have been why he was there. Now that I all put it together. But I was walking with past guest Paul F. Tompkins,

and they put up the Marx Brothers, like paper mache heads of the Marx Brothers, and Charlie Chaplin. And like, why didn't we move past the 1940s? We know we get it. Comedy, right? We don't need... I mean, a Hard Rock Cafe will still have an Elvis jumpsuit in it, though.

Yeah, that's true. So it's just like this. It's always going to be... Which is, by the way, the most edgy Elvis ever got. It was the Liberace face. It's when he to be. Which is, by the way, the most edgy Elvis ever got. It was the Liberace face. It's when he was highest on drugs. But yeah, I don't like, I guess, I'm trying to think of other industries that, I mean, Christianity still is hung up on this Jesus guy.

Jesus all over everything. the cross. Jesus all over everything. It's not like if you, if you went to like, you know, when Apple has its annual conference, like you don't go in and they've got like old, you know,

computers. Newton. Yeah. A big paper mache Newton. You know, or like floppy disks, like people walking around dressed like a floppy disk. Like it's not a drive.

Um, so yeah, that was, I did that. And then I went to Calgary and I met our, is it Benefactor? Benefiber. Benefiber. Benefault. Mr. Jesse Thorne and his wife, Teresa, and also their producer, Nick, who does all the sound stuff on The Sound of Young America. Oh, he's responsible for the sound of Young America. Yeah.

The sound of the sound of Young America. Jesse takes care of the America part. Yeah, and the youth. And yeah, it was a delight to meet him and his folks. And his entourage. Yeah, and he did a speech. He did like a presentation about how to, you know, if you want to make your own whatever podcast or something. Paper mache Newton.

Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Hilariously sized Charlie Chaplin. Yep. And that was great. And it was held in a building that also has a museum of all sorts of pianos in the top floor of it. Okay. Which when we got there, this guy said,

oh, just go on the tour. Check out the pianos. Yeah, because we're still setting up. And so the tour guide played all the different pianos, and there was one that was... They put the same song on all of them? Yeah, it was all... Yeah, it was the Cantina Band song.

I meant like a... I assume Calgary is a very cowboy place sorry I meant like I assume Calgary is a very cowboy place I meant like that kind of saloon old timey saloon the plink plink plink yeah yeah

well he did they had some of those did they have any player pianos they did player pianos they had this crazy one that they used to use

for silent films that it was one organ connected to all these different instruments and then you could play like drums and all this kind of stuff. Like MIDI. Yeah.

Yeah. And then they had like one of the original Moog synthesizers. They had Elton John's first piano signed by Elton and Bernie Taupin. Bernie Taupin's a great piano player. Yeah. A great piano player. Yeah. And then also the synthesizer used in, what is it?

Close Encounters of the Third Kind? Sure. First Kind or whatever. And also the one used. Close Encounters of Elton John's First Piano. Oh, sorry. And also the synthesizer used in Apocalypse Now, which is all in this museum. Oh, wow.

Yeah. It was really cool. Like, it was accidentally stumbling into... It's a lot of history. Yeah. Yeah. It's weird that they would all end up in Calgary. Yes.

Well, but then I was thinking, I was like... There are piano enthusiasts in Calgary. Yeah. Where else would it go? Like, where would you go? I don't know. Like, New York or L.A., maybe? I don't know.

They can't have everything. Exactly. Like, apparently the... I don't know if it still does But the Vancouver Art Gallery Not even on display Just in its archives or whatever Used to have John Lennon's Rolls Royce

For years and years and years I think it was painted all psychedelic Sure Yeah, get in, drop out, drive. Yeah. Have someone drive you around. She could have enough money to buy her old drives. Get in, drop in, get a valet. Yeah. You're obviously on drugs.

Have someone else drive. Too wasted to drive. Yeah, but it's weird that... He farted responsibly. I think culture of the world should just be distributed evenly. Agreed. There should be no...

Paris shouldn't have all of this art. The British Museum in London that has stuff from every continent that they've just stolen from everything. Send the Rosetta Stone to Des Moines. Let Des Moines have one thing. And let it be the

Rosetta Stone. Please. And let it be the Rosetta Stone. Please. And also one of the guns used by one of the predators. No, they only get one. No, no. You can make a whole museum out of it. Come see the Rosetta Stone and the predator gun. No, in the history of the world, everything is equal.

The Rosetta Stone is equal to the predator gun. So every town gets one. Every town gets one. And there's way more towns than there are things. Yeah, that's true. That's true. Important things. You have to make stuff up?

Well, no, but certain towns are still waiting to get stuff. Like some town just got the rail gun from a racer. We're just going through famous Schwarzenegger guns. What about the one where it was John Kimball? Where does that gun go? Which one's John Kimball? Kindergarten cop. Who's Richard Kimball? That's right.

Dr. Richard Kimball, please. His wife was killed by a one-armed man. Spoiler alert. Allegedly. One more thing. Well, yeah. His wife was killed by a one-armed man. Spoiler alert. Allegedly. Oh, one more thing. Well, two more things. Oh, here we go. A couple episodes ago, we were talking about how you and I both

hate the thing we hate not most about summer, because that's probably the heat. Yeah, yeah. But we hate the clouds of bugs that you'll unexpectedly walk through. Oh, they're gross. No-see-ums. You call them no-see-ums.

Why do you call them that? Because you don't see them until they're already in your face. I see them. Or until after they've bitten you. Yeah. Like you never see them bite you. It's true. But sometimes you just have a bite and all of a sudden it's there.

A listener, Matthew K., wrote in and said that they're actually orgies. Oh, gross. Much worse. So much worse. Yeah. Disgusting. And the other thing I wanted to say to gross you out with. Yeah, so I can do it.

No, I did a week of comedy, a weekend of comedy with Lachlan Patterson, past guest. Yep. And we wanted to have him on this very episode, but we couldn't work our schedules out. Yes, that's right.

But I thought I'd let everyone know that they can buy Lachlan's very funny album on the internet. Oh, yes, absolutely. Jokes to make love to, I believe it's called. And he's very, very funny.

If you've never heard his stand-up, it's great. Excellent. And yeah, it would have been great to have him. We'll have him on the next time he's very, very funny. If you've never heard his stand-up, it's great. And yeah, it would have been great to have him. We'll have him on the next time he's in town. Unless he gets too big for this place. But, as long as we've got that Predator gun, he'll have an excuse to come visit. Have you seen the new Predators movie? No, but

I think I must want to, if my brain keeps bringing up Predator. Get Predator on the brain. That was the thing. I was watching the news when I was in Calgary. I watched the news from Winnipeg and apparently

Exotic. Yeah, right? When I'm on the road, I like to treat myself. And I watched the thing about, they've got like really bad mosquitoes in Winnipeg. It's their provincial bird. And they drive. That's what their t-shirt says.

What they do is they drive around at night like fogging. They have like some sort of, you know, repellent or something that they spray into the air. Seems like a bad idea. Seems like that's going to be a thing that people look back on. There's going to be repercussions of that. Yeah, and go like, oh, maybe we shouldn't have sprayed chemicals into the air every night. Yeah. Seems like a really, like even when they showed them doing it, I was like, oh, this is not.

Yeah, Agent Orange. Seems like a bad idea, right? Yeah, well, yeah, spraying everywhere with chemicals does seem like a bad idea. I'm not a city mosquito planner. And maybe the mosquitoes will just get angry. Or they'll adapt. Predator mosquitoes. Yeah, super mosquitoes.

Thank you for bringing it back to Predator so I didn't have to. I've never seen any Predator movie. Really? Was there Predator 2? Was there 3? Well, there was Alien vs. Predator. And then Man vs. Requiem.

Requiem for Dream. Requiem for Predator. We sold our body for drugs. But I think I'll see this one. Yeah. Just jump in. It's not like there's any mythology you need to know. They like to hunt the world's most ferocious game.

Humans. Man. We say dangerous. We're not that ferocious. Well, Adrian Brody's in this. I was going to say, have you seen him there? One shot, he's muddy. Yeah. He looks pretty ferocious. Well, Adrian Brody's in this. I was going to say, have you seen him there? One shot, he's muddy. Yeah.

He looks pretty ferocious. Ferocious. Ferocious couture. Ferrero Roche. He eats a lot of chocolate. So you enjoyed Calgary? I did, yeah. Did you...

Home of my youth. Is it hard to, as a vegetarian, I think we may have talked about this, to be a vegetarian in the meat capital, beef capital of Canada? No, you know, I think it's things, it's really... It's still western Canada, so you still got that... Yeah, things have changed there since I was a kid. Yeah, Calgary, you've changed.

But you know, like... You used to be cool. I think the stampede has fallen out. Like, there was, I guess there were a lot of animals that died. deaths yeah and like one of them was particularly brutal and it seems like they're for years like it was always if you were against the stampede you know you were uh gay and tree hugger and like just you were not to be listened to you only want to hug trees that are your sex. Exactly, male trees. Or in the case of women, female trees. But yeah, this

I think the tide is starting to kind of shift a bit there because the last few deaths have been really brutal and they've been in front of thousands of people who are like, maybe we ought not to do this anymore. Maybe this isn't such a kid-friendly event. Yeah, so it's kind of my hope

that things are going to change. Because chuckwagon races, I don't think... I'm going to go ahead and say this because I remember saying it in Calgary and got into a fistfight with a guy for saying this when I was 17. I don't think they should exist.

I think chuckwagon races are dumb and they're for dummies. What is a chuckwagon? It's like... It's six horses or something. More than one horse and a big wagon. And it's like a wagon, but it's not... Like the wagon you would play

Oregon Trail with. Yes. The Dunder Party. It's still got wooden wheels and it's incredibly dangerous and it's really dumb. It's really just dumb and stupid. There's other races you can make. There's other things you can do with chuck wagons. I seriously doubt in the Old West when they actually had chuckwagons that they ever raced them.

Like, that seems to me like a thing that never even happened. They're just making up a thing that... Yeah, the one thing I know about the Old West that they should do at a stampede is just have the gunfights. Yeah. Oh, absolutely. The quickest draw. Yeah, everybody puts on a bulletproof vest and bulletproof face. Why?

Oh, no, you're right. They shouldn't. They should have the fun. Yeah, just have someone draw. Yeah, everybody puts on a bulletproof vest and bulletproof face. Why? Oh, no, you're right. They shouldn't. They should have the fun. Yeah, just have someone die. Yeah, I'm fine with that. The quick and the dead styles. Yeah, okay. I'm in for it.

All right, next year, Calgary. The quick and the dead styles. Drawing up the papers now. Yeah, that's the most famous cowboy movie ever, right? Right. Most famous draw scene between Sharon Stone stone and leonardo dicaprio is it gene hackman no i don't know i've never seen predator versus doc holiday doc holiday versus doc hollywood

oh man should we uh move on overheard why not okay overheard overhe's a segment. If the title does not tell you what it is, it's things you've overheard people say. If it doesn't tell you what it is, go get a dictionary. Yeah. And then open it up and then put your face in the middle of it and close it. Because I ain't got time for this shit. Sure.

And if they look up idiot in the dictionary, it would have a picture of you. Yeah. Instead of a definition. Because it have a picture of you. Yeah. Instead of a definition. Because it's an idiot's dictionary. And we always like to start with the guest. And Abby, if you would, lead us in the overheard. Gotcha. Okay.

First, a quick overseeing that I saw on the bus yesterday. Okay. So we're going to do a bookend theory. I can do two at once. Okay. So there's going across town on the bus and I can see up the front of the bus, we have the stroller area, and there's a mom and her friend or sister

sitting down, and a little boy in a stroller, maybe two, and he's got a granola bar in his hand that's open and one bite out of it, and he's falling asleep. He keeps holding it up and then dropping his arm and then his head rolls back. And then, you know,

ten minutes later, the kid's asleep. And the mom reaches over and grabs the granola bar out of the kid's hand and the kid flips, wakes up immediately, starts screaming,

having a little fit. So the mom gives him back his granola bar and then he goes right back to sleep with his granola bar in his hand. That's really cute. And I thought that was pretty adorable. That is adorable. It's like in those cowboy movies when

someone's sleeping with their gun. Or they got the key around their neck. In the prison. Yeah. In the jail. Is there anything more depressing than moms on the bus? Trying to wrangle their kids. So much stuff to carry. No, I'm sorry.

If you can't afford a car, you shouldn't have a kid. Wait, simple. Simple as that. That seems a little right-wing. There you go. I'm not here to control who has kids. I feel like I've had a couple instances,

and I don't know. I think it's a bit of a gray area when it comes to people with kids on the bus. Because, you know, a lot of the buses here have kind of a kneeling effect for people in wheelchairs. So they can get on and off of this ramp. I saw a lady with a stroller using the ramp. That seems like an inappropriate use of the ramp. Discuss. I agree.

I thought the buses were kneeling because they're Muslim. They do it five times a day. They must find Mecca. All right, good talk. Yeah. I understand you have a second. This is like Comics Unleashed. How do you feel about shoe stores?

I'm gone. No, the second one I have was an overheard. It was a few months ago. Dave and I were having breakfast out at a restaurant. We live large. Yeah, why not? Sometimes we let other people cook eggs for us. What are you, poached?

Soft-boiled? Scrambled? I like a Benedict. Yeah, Benedict's good. Same with you? Yeah. There's a scramble at cafe barney that's amazing with avocado on a bagel oh but i do it better here but dave actually does a better

version of it at home no doubts but anyway so back to this restaurant and it's not that busy and there's a there's we're sitting at a table for two and there's two or three tables between us that are empty and then another table for two and two two people that were talking and through the whole breakfast they were talking about how this girl, the girl had gotten a DUI. And she was so just blasé about it and just was like acting like it wasn't a big deal. And the guy the whole time was like, no, this is a big deal. You could suspend your license. She's like, no, I'll be fine.

Just pay them some money and it'll go away. But this went on for like, we were there for half an hour 45 minutes and the whole time and he's saying things like if i got one i would be disbarred like it's a really it's a mark on your record forever and if they if they just up the punishments for them and if you get a second one it's so much worse now and the whole time the girl is just like no no no it's totally fine i'll be fine that's fine i'm fine no they won't no they won't no they're not gonna do that that'll be cool we just it gets kept going a dui and a dwi are the same thing right but a diy it's that's how we we record this podcast. I worked with a guy who, when they made the punishment for drunk driving more severe, he got really upset about it. And he kind of, he doesn't live in Vancouver full time.

He lives off on the island. And I'm like, oh, I guess you're a hick. Yeah. I mean, it's the thing like i mean like that seems like the most easy law to pass oh you're you're automatic drain a license suspension if you're driving driving a vehicle drunk yeah letting a vehicle makes it sound worse yeah if you find yourself piloting a vehicle, then you're really way too drunk. You shouldn't be driving at all. Well, I mean, where you're going.

Tony Roach. Dave, you have an overheard? My overheard is from this last weekend on Gabriola Island. Abby was there for it as well. Yes. So she's going to have to fake laugh for this one. It's still funny. There were a couple little kids. we were going into a grocery store

the grocery store we were going into the grocery store what if they had two on that island they have a little convenience store right across from the grocery store right across from the grocery store at the gas station what do they sell fireworks fireworks enemas

it's a package deal I don't get it What do they sell, fireworks? Yeah, fireworks, enemas. It's a package deal. I don't get it. So we were walking in, and there were a couple little kids. A kid who was like 13, and his little brother who was like 7. And the bigger kid tried to grab something from the little kid, and the little kid said, no, tis mine. And the older kid said, ugh, stop saying tis.

Good fake laugh, Abby. What a great little kid. Yeah. But also, I've been that little kid who just has... And I've been that older sibling. You're just like, ugh. You're like knocking off. God. Every day with this.

Yeah, take off... Every day with the tis. Take off the werewolf mask that you wear. Sure. Take off your cape already. I had a couple overhears. I'll save one for next week. But one of them comes courtesy of flying on WestJet Airlines.

Sure, Canada's... Goofiest airline, I'll say. So I got on the plane quite late, and somebody was sitting in my seat, and I was like, oh, you just... I said, you just stay, and I'll go. I'll sit in your seat. And I really dodged a bullet because uh it was a regular hen party and that oh they were right behind me just chatting the whole flight and uh wearing inflatable penis hats that's a hen party right yeah a bachelor uh yeah exactly peanuts hats

glowing penises some sort of penis nex Eating penis cookies. Penis pasta. But the one thing the lady said... Listening to CC Penis Tin. I'm sorry. As we were taking off, the lady was talking about like, well, the last time we took a flight with WestJet, the guy in the microphone just did impersonations the

whole flight didn't ever use his original voice and then the lady sitting next to her goes well it's fun to laugh smiles are free yeah except for that one guy who who hurt it hurts when it laughs yeah exactly that disease he just had. I've known people who have laughs that sound painful or sobbing. Yeah, totally. Laugh till it hurts, right? Yeah.

But even if... Oh, that sounds like a good name for a comedy show. Yeah. Laugh till it hurts. And it's sponsored by Hertz Rent-A-Car.

All right. And we have some listeners, bumpers, who wrote in some overheards. If you want to write to us, you can send them to stoppodcastyourself at gmail.com. And our first one comes from Claire C. Claire C., my cousin works in a Rite Aid pharmacy. One day over the loudspeaker, one of the cashiers said, price check on Tampax. From the back of the store One of the employees calls out

The kind you push in with your thumb Or the kind you tap in with a hammer A stunned silence filled the store And the cashier repeated her request The guy in the back called out Oh Tampax I thought you said thumbtacks Yeah

And either way Thumbtacks You use your thumb No no I know what you mean Well the thumb's in the name Either way, thumbtacks, you use your thumb. No, no. No, I know what you mean. Well, the thumb's in the name. There's no two kinds of thumbtacks. There's pushpins.

Yeah, and then just tacks. Yeah, well, thumbtacks. Thumbtacks are tacks, aren't they? Thumbtacks, but like, what are the types? Aren't there tacks, too, like for an upholstery? Yeah, that you got to hammer. You can't push those in with your thumb. Sure.

Don't know. What about paper clips? There's the trombone kind. Yeah, and then there's the kind that asks you if you're having trouble. Sure, yeah. It looks like you're writing a letter. The next one comes from Enric L. He's from Gothenburg, Sweden.

Oh, Enric. Did I pronounce that right? Do you know Enric? Yeah, that's how you say hello in Swedish. Hey. Hey. Hey. Let me say something.

Beiskorv. What is that? That's poop sausage. This wasn't overheard by me, but one of my friends, and it was so fantastic that I just knew it had to be shared. My friend was walking by a couple of those people with clipboards collecting signatures for the Red Cross. There's lots of those in Sweden. They're coming over here in droves.

John Buehler called them beggars with binders. Some guy is talking to them and my friend hears him. No, that's alright. I already support apartheid. And the guy walks off and runs back red-faced saying, I already support apartheid. And the guy walks off and runs back, red face, saying, I mean Amnesty.

Predigrate. Amnesty is the big binder collecting agency, I noticed. Them, Greenpeace, and... Red Cross. SPCA. Those are the big four. Those are the big four in the banking market. Yeah.

Have you ever stopped and talked to one of them? No. Oh, no. Really? No. Have you? You seem lonely. Yes, I am.

Well, I'm lonely most of the time. So, yeah, I have stopped. But it's the... I mean, like, I get it, because they're all good-looking people. They must... It's kind of like Cactus Club. Like, they only all good-looking people. It's kind of like Cactus Club. They only hire good-looking people. American Apparel. Yeah, that's right.

You've got to submit a headshot with your... With your gold lame one-piece. So that's why you stop and talk to them? Yeah, yeah. To shut them up? Yeah, because I'm lonely. Yeah. As already established.

You crave human attention. Yeah. Not attention, just any kind of contact. Gotcha. Interaction. I'll talk to the postman. I'll talk to anybody about the movie The Postman. Sure.

Which one's that? The El Postino or the Kevin Costner one? And the last one comes from Kevin in New Brunswick. Kevin, a few years ago, a couple of my roommates went to a party with some of their engineering buddies. Another of my roommates who wasn't in engineering went along with them. It was a pretty chill point in the party with a bunch of people just hanging out, talking in the living room, when my fairly drunk non-engineering roommate leaned over to a girl he was sitting with and drunk whispered quite loudly, Hey, I think you're the prettiest girl here tonight

she was a little flattered and said thanks he followed up with so do you want what do you want to do now do you want to go push it pretty much everyone else in the room overheard this conversation and at this point she was no longer flattered my other roommate couldn't wait to tell me the story when we got back into town so you want to go push it yeah well clearly he's a non-engineering roommate that's a good way of categorizing your roommate yeah i have my engineering roommate my non-engineering roommate who likes to push it but Push it? What does he mean? I don't know. I don't know.

Like salt and pepper? Push it? Yeah. Do you want to listen to push it? Do you want to put my room in a push it in my boom box? Or maybe it was something that was in the way. And he was like, do you want to push it? Or could it be pooing?

No. No, come on. It might be. He's a non-engineer. It could be anything. I don't even know When kids today When they say hooking up

Does that mean sex or making out And pushing it I think hooking up I think it depends how old the person is And it depends how many colorful bracelets they've earned Yes Is that still going on No I doubt it.

What's going on now? Has it come back around? Is it a lot of hoop skirts? Parasols. I earned this yellow bracelet for supporting Lance Armstrong. For getting to second base with Lance Armstrong. For pushing it.

I honestly don't know what pushing it would mean on first contact with someone. I assumed when I read it, I assumed it was some sort of like a grind dance where she would put her butt into your into your butt. Is that how it works? Put two butts together?

Yeah, yeah. You guys face away from each other and touch butts. You grab a hand mirror You guys face away from each other And touch butts And then look at each other You grab a hand mirror And then you look at each other's faces Alright guys push it And then you just push on each other's butt

And try to knock the other one over Do the push it Or like the lover's toilet from SNL Where you two people shitting at once Happy language That's pooping You wanna go push it? Yeah From my lover's toilet Oh man That's pooping You wanna go push it? Yeah

My love is toilet Oh man That's a good Is it Victoria Jackson And Kevin Nealon Kevin Nealon I believe Yes Who's the

What's the other song There was push it There was another 90s song About pushing it I don't know what you mean It's same genre? No no

There was the Salt and pepper Push It song, and then there was another song called Push It. Maybe by Garbage? Some band like that? Some other Garbage? I'll look into it. Are you thinking of the novel Push by Sapphire?

Yeah, that's the one. Well, if you would like to write in with your overheards, our email address is podcastingyourselfatgmail.com. Slash push it. Yeah. It's one of those email addresses. That's a slash.

One word. Yeah. And then if you would like to call us like the following three people have, our phone number is 206-339-8328. Hey, Graham and Dave. Dave, this is Corey from Cleveland. I haven't overheard for you. I was in a resort condo pool, and I heard a man say to his kids, if I'm in the pool, I'm playing volleyball.

That's a fact. I don't give a rip what anybody else says. Yes. I will not be supervising your swimming. Yeah. I don't care who else is already in the pool. Yeah, I don't care if there's a volleyball game going on. I will be playing it.

I don't care if there's a volleyball net. Cleveland. I don't care if it's nighttime. I don't care if there's a thunderstorm. If I'm in the pool. Sure. That's a fact. If there's care if it's nighttime. I don't care if there's a thunderstorm. If I'm in the pool. Sure. That's a fact. If there's a lifeguard on duty.

Oh, yeah. Good stuff. What a fun pool sport. Have either of you guys ever been to Cleveland? No. I kind of feel I want to go to Cleveland now. Oh, yeah. It's from that show, Hot in Cleveland?

Yeah, that's why. That's why? Because of Betty White's association. I understand Cleveland rocks. Hot cougars? Yeah, Cleveland rock. Well, Harvey P? Because of Betty White's association. I understand Cleveland Rocks. Hot Cougars? Yeah, Cleveland Rocks. Well, Harvey Pekar, he died last week. Yes.

Or was it? Yeah, last week. Since we last recorded. Yeah. We recorded two weeks ago. And also they lost some sports figure. Yeah. He decided to go.

He died too, right? Yeah. He's dead to them. Essentially, yeah. He's dead to them. But then I was reading about Cleveland Online, just incidentally. It seems like a place that I actually would go and visit. Is it in the Rust Belt?

Is it on Lake Erie? Where is the Rust Belt? I don't know. Somewhere around there. Somewhere in the Midwest-ish. Tin Pan Alley? Yeah. Somewhere gritty.

Is it beside the Dust Bowl or adjacent to the Dust Bowl? It's a metal town, wasn't it, Cleveland? I don't know. Like heavy metal. Sure, yeah. And five metal beds from Cleveland. Okay. Next call.

Hey, Dave and Graham. This is Rhett in Indianapolis. Hello, possible guest. I haven't overheard. Hey, Dave and Graham. This is Rhett in Indianapolis. Hello, possible guest. I haven't overheard.

I was at an amusement park with my family. There's an ambulance. And this dad was asking his little boy, who was probably about four or five, he said, do you like roller coasters? He says, yeah, but I don't like them when they go up and down or around curves or fast. And he goes, oh, so you mean like a train? He goes, oh, I like trains. So basically the short answer to that was he doesn't like roller coasters. I want to go on a train.

Yeah. Just take my train. Kids like trains. Yeah. I haven't been on a roller coaster for probably I want to say two years Well, you missed one year Yeah, I missed a year

Because you would only go in the summer Yeah, I guess it's the only time you could Unless you went to a locale A locale? A locale that has Like a low-calorie roller coaster Like an Activia The Atkins ride.

Do you like roller coasters? I do like roller coasters. They're the cheap thrill, you know? I ran into past guest Emmett Hall just this afternoon. He went skydiving for his 30th birthday. Good job. Yeah. Sounds like fun.

Yeah, midlife crisis. Yeah, right? We all know he's only going to make it to 60, so this is appropriate. Would you ever go? Have you gone skydiving? Skydiving? I would go skydiving before I went bungee jumping. Okay.

But would you go skydiving? He said it's like $200 odd to go. So just find odd dollars. Yeah. Yeah, just odds and ends. They all have to be ones or threes. Couch cushions and stuff. Yeah, I don't know.

I would probably take some convincing and it will probably, like, I would have to, like, just wake up and go. Like I couldn't, like, plan a week in advance or something. Like I would be, okay, let's do it today. Okay, let's go. Would you talk yourself out of it? Because I would talk myself out of it. And it's like I went canyoning

and white rudder rafting and stuff. And it's kind of like the less you think about it, the better. That's true. Just do it and deal with it as you're doing it and just push it.

Dave, would you? I don't think so. Never? There's no spinning. No, I know. Oh, there might be spinning. Dave doesn't like spinning yeah who does i when i go on go to spinning classes that's it when i was watching regis

and kelly a couple weeks ago and kelly did a a whole uh segment all about her spin classes like she brought a camera crew sure and they oh and she thinks she takes je Jeff Probst and Anderson Cooper sometimes to her spin classes. There's no minutiae too minute for their morning talk. But when I go on roller coasters, I have to plan ahead and take Gravol, because I get sick to my stomach. Yeah, well, then you should just not go on roller coasters. But I enjoy the thrill. Oh, you like the thrill. Okay. You just don't enjoy the nausea.

Yeah. And I can think of a lot better ways to spend 200 some odd dollars. So can I, but I just... It's weird because I haven't thought about skydiving really. Like the only time I ever think about it is when somebody I know has done it. Other people talk about it, yeah.

Well, I went skyboarding in the early 90s. Yeah, that was the big years of skyboarding. Yeah, I caught a Mountain Dew in midair and then slammed a bag of Doritos. And then a cheetah came and jumped on you and took it away. Yeah, and Jay Leno and I wrestled in a library. Was that something? He did Doritos ads, didn't he?

He was hip at some point in history. He was never hip. Was he ever hip? Yeah, he was pretty cool in the 90 at some point in history. He was never hip. He was pretty cool in the 90s. He was wearing a leather jacket. That makes him cool. There was a time when the coolest guys in the world were Jay Leno, Andre Agassi,

and Dan Cortez. That's true. Twas another time. Stop saying twas. Okay. All right. Final call. Hey, guys.

This is Patience from Atlanta, Georgia. I'm calling with an overheard. A couple weeks ago, I was in New York for the opening of an art show, and on the way back, we were on subway, and there were these punky looking little teenage boys who were sitting pretty close by and they had some gems. And one of them, the most memorable was that one was talking to the other guy and he said, dude, the thing is, if she's the kind of girl that will let you do it without a rubber, then she's not the kind of girl that you want to do it with without a rubber.

It's catch-22. It's just common sense. Yeah, that's some good physics. It's just good advice. That's a catch-22. Because you want to do it without a rubber. But if she'll let you, you shouldn't do it. Ladies.

Single ladies? All the single ladies? all the single ladies put your hands up I wanted to let you know that you don't want to do it with a guy who uses the word rubber oh that's a good call what if he calls it a love glove

what about jimmy hat jimmy hat a connie that the brits say condom they say it in britain condom um yeah guys who say call it a rubber oh i that that always is has rubbed me the wrong way ribbed you the wrong way ribbed me the wrong for her pleasure. Yeah, I don't I don't really hang out with a lot of guys

and talk about that kind of thing. Talk about rubbers. You don't hang out in a lot of locker rooms. That's why. That's true. That's where it all happened.

Yeah. The last time I was in a locker room it was all elderly Indian gentlemen. Very little of that talk there either. It's on your retirement

cricket team, Your Honor. Yeah. So Emmett goes skydiving. I's on your retirement cricket team, Your Honor. Yeah. So Emmett goes skydiving. I join a retired Indian cricket team. Watch for it this fall on CBC.

Anything multi-ethnic. Yeah. It's going to be great. If it's not multi-camera, it's multi-ethnic. We save money on the cameras. Do we want to do one more thing?

Sure. Do we have time? Yeah. What do you want to do, Abby? Lady's choice. I've never done Crush Hat. All right. Let's play the theme.

Celebrity Crush Hat. Crushin' the hats. Celebrity Crush Hat. Go fuck yourself. Celebrity Crush Hat. Chapeau Chinois. Celebrity Crush Hat. Crush Hat. Celebrity Crush Hat. Chapeau Chinois. Celebrity Crush Hat. Celebrity Crush Hat.

Chapeau Chinois. Something I can't even remember the last time we did this segment, but if you've never heard it before, we've put a bunch of numbers into a hat. Yeah. And we will get Abby to pull out a number, and whatever number she pulls out that will be the age of which she will discuss who her celebrity crush was. At that age. At that age. Graham and I used to participate in this segment

but we... We already established who our crushes were. Although if this is a later era crush I would participate as well. And Abby, since you and I are so close, I'm hoping that I can get first crack at who your crush was. At guessing who it was?

Oh, at guessing? Nice. I like this. Let's see. All right, here we go. 61? No, 6. 6?

Wait, how did you get 61 out of that? Because I saw that there was a line underneath it. Yeah, so it's not 9. Is that too young? That might be. It's pretty young. 6. thought there was a line underneath it. Yeah, so it's not nine. Is that too young? That might be, it's pretty young. Six. No,

I have one. Oh, okay. Let me guess. Okay. Somebody I thought was so dreamy. Corey Hart.

Close. Okay, give it to me. Billy Idol. Oh. Yeah, he had that snare. That was right,

it was right about. What time of day did Billy Idol wear his sunglasses? I don't know. He never wrote a song sneer. It was right about... What time of day did Billy Idol wear his sunglasses? I don't know. He never wrote a song about it. You'll never know. What about Billy Idol?

What was it? If you can remember. I don't know. It was mostly the music. And it was at a time where... Yes, well, there was that. His patented snarl. Yeah, he had that curl of the lip.

But I was sick, so it wasn't that... Yeah, he had that curl of the lip. But I was six, so it wasn't that sexualized. No, stop it. It was just, I really liked the song, and I thought he was really handsome. I liked all the songs. Yeah. I liked him in The Wedding Singer. Yeah.

He did not age in those 15 years. No, but he should have. But he has since, I think. Oh, has he since? Yes, I think he has. Like all those years just caught up on him? Yeah, but he should have. But he has since, I think. Oh, has he since? Yes, I think he has. Like all those years just caught up on him all at once? Yeah, he certainly should have because he wasn't like living clean. No, he was a smoker and a drinker.

Yeah, he drank Ravel Yel. Yeah. Did we ever do six? Can you remember if you had a crush on anybody at six? Oh, probably Katrina from Katrina and the Waves. I don't know what that is. She's walking on sunshine? Oh, okay. Yeah. I'm walking on sunshine.

Okay. You? Or no, maybe, I don't know, Leah Thompson from Back to the Future? Oh, yeah. See, I'm wondering because 80... whatever it was. 80-fer-fer-fer. Are you now ashamed of your age?

I've always been ashamed of my age. Really? Yeah, when I was young. I was too young. Now I'm too old. When were you the perfect age? Never. I haven't got there.

I'll be great when I'm... One day. I think I'll be a great 65-year-old. How can you be too old now, then? Too old to be... Podcasting? Yeah. I don't know. Doing a lot of things. Wearing fucking yoga pants in the middle of the day. Too old to be... Podcasting? Yeah, I don't know. Doing a lot

of things. Wearing fucking yoga pants in the middle of the night. Too old. I'm trying to think. I'm just hoping to go from Walking Against Sunshine. I don't remember. I really don't remember. I want to say like a Cindy Lauper. I feel like a Cindy Lauper

might have done something. I don't know. I feel like six is kind of a cheap one. Strange, yeah. Yeah, I shouldn't put them in that young. I'm going to put under ten next time. The next one is four. Oh, no. Okay, 21.

Okay. Oh, I know this one. 21. Oh, I know this one for you. For me? Yeah, Gladiator. Do you? Gladiator?

That's not a person. Fine, Russell Crowe as Gladiator. Fine. They call me gladiator yeah the spaniard max was really is um yes but oh and russell crowe only ever in that role only it's the only time i find him attractive yeah i liked him in a good year yeah what about la confidential that was he was brooding I like him in anything with a ponytail. Yeah.

I like him when he puts on weight for roles. Another young crush of mine when I was in between these two ages, probably about 13 or so, was Eddie Vedder. And we saw him recently on some late night show. I forget what it was. Kimmel or whatever. Letterman. And he looked a lot like Russell Crowe. But like fat, old, unattractive

Russell Crowe with long hair. Not that super hot gladiator or super hot Eddie Vedder in 1993. There's some weird crossover there. The prime Eddie Vedder. He still looks good, doesn't he? Eddie Vedder? I don't know.

He still dresses the same. I certainly don't know i don't know i like i certainly don't know i was never attracted to him no not even in the not even his music not even verses um 21 yeah 21 i feel like i don't okay it was early 2000s. It was the early aughts. Yeah. Let's see. 21. 21. Can you conjure up somebody?

I don't know. Where were we living? Victoria. Yeah, sure. Yeah, I'm trying to think. Where we were living and what we were doing. Who was on the cover of Maxim? Yeah.

When did... Oh! Oh. Yeah, there you go. You triggered it in my head. Rebecca Gayheart. Yeah. When did... Oh. Yeah. There you go. You triggered it in my head. Rebecca Gayheart. No.

Melissa Joan Hart. Oh. Yeah. Because she did that crazy, sexy spread in Maxim. Or FHM. Yeah. It wasn't crazy sexy. It was just crazy that she was doing something sexy.

Yeah. And that she was so sexy. Yeah. Yeah. I think there was a brief time around 21 that I thought she was... Yeah. Yeah, she was bewitching. Yeah.

I liked Salem. The sassy cat? That was sometimes fake and sometimes real. Sometimes real and sometimes so fake. Yeah, when he's eating. Not even like a good puppet. Yeah. Anybody?

21, Dave? Oh, I don't know. For some reason, Charlize Theron's coming to mind, but I don't know what she did around then. She wouldn't have been around then, Charlize Theron. Sure she would have. Sure she would have. In what? I don't know.

But she was around back then. Well, I mean mean she existed on earth How would you have known about her? What's her name from VH1? The VJ Rachel Rachel Perry You loved her

I did love her When she was on Much Music But then she got all weird And got tattoos And got a Like on her face? Yeah She got the Mike Tyson tattoos

Hey did you see Jamie Foxx Got a whole bunch of head tattoos? No What? Got his whole head tattooed No Yeah Oh well

So he doesn't have to draw His hairline on anymore He can just have his What? Did he have a drawn bunch of head tattoos? No. What? Got his whole head tattooed. No. Yeah. Oh, well. So he doesn't have to draw his hairline on anymore. He can just have his... What? Did he have a drawn on hairline? There's a couple of pictures where his hairline is in very different parts of his... Do you have celebrity scoops? One is really down and one is really far up in his head. What is your top five celebrity scoop?

Jamie Foxx head tattoos. Okay. Jamie Foxx hairline. Jamie Foxx hairline. That's two. Ray. Wasn't actually blind for the role of tattoos. Okay. Jamie Foxx hairline. Jamie Foxx hairline. That's two. Ray. Wasn't actually blind for the role of Ray. Yeah.

Did he get sunglasses tattooed on so he can be Ray permanently? He blames it on the alcohol. Yep. That's number two. And then he has Georgia tattooed on his head. Mine? Yeah. Georgia's on his mind.

Oh, guys. Guys. We have a lot of fun here sometimes. So we want to wrap this up? We sure do. Okay. Abby, any upcoming dates? Like, I mean, between you and Dave.

Are you guys going on any upcoming dates? We'll probably see Predators. I'll probably make Dave go see Predators. Predators. Or Predatore. In Italy. The cake boss has to make a Predator cake. It's going to be huge!

Predatories. No, I don't have any dates lined up. I do have Grandpa's Tumblr account. It's Grandpa's Photos that I cultivate. Yeah, if you love our dog. If you love our dog. Was it Everybody Loves Grandpa?

Everybody Loves Grandpa, all one word. Grandpa's spelled with an M. Yeah, Grandpa. Yeah. Yes. Dave, you got anything to plug? No. Oh, we got...

Well, we're going to be at Bumbershoot. Yeah. Which is very exciting. In September. Yeah, and if you haven't received your donation t-shirt, it should be arriving within the week. Yes. We got ours, so who cares about yous now? Yeah, we got us, now you get yous.

And also, yeah, we'll be at Bumbershoot in September. In August, I think it's the second week of August I will be at Vancouver's Comedy Mix oh what fun yeah

it's the mixiest comedy club you've ever been to are you guys doing something for the festival? comedy festival? yeah there's gonna be a laugh gallery

yeah we're not quite we're not quite at that stage I don't know what the date is on that but there will be dave and i will be on a show during the comedy festival yeah and uh yeah and if you want uh to contact us

it is stop podcast yourself at gmail.com and you can call us 206-339-8328 also check out the blog uh the recap of the episode that you can find at maximum fun.org. If you want to leave a message on the board, you can do so there and join us next week. Won't you on another episode of stop podcasting yourself. Thank you.