Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 129 - Paul Myrehaug

Episode Date: August 31, 2010

Comedian Paul Myrehaug returns to talk mascots, dying trades, and cupcake TV.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 129 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is the barbecue pitmasters of podcasting, Mr. Dave Shumka. I'm plural. I'm more than one pitmaster. You are more than one. You're like a team.

Yeah, I was watching a... Graham and I were watching some barbecue pitmasters before today's episode, and there was on the name keys for every person, they tell you their name, and then they will tell you where they're from, what barbecue establishment, and one was called QN4U, QN4U. And it took me so long to figure it out. He makes license plates also. Yeah, he's a bumper stumper. me so long to figure it out. He makes license plates also. Yeah, he's a bumper-stumper. And our guest today, returning guest, a very funny man, a comedian who travels all over the country

and amongst his many credits, has toured over in Kosovo and Iraq? And Iraq, yeah. Mr. Paul Meyerhug is with us. Hello, boys. Thanks for having me again. Thanks for coming back. Yeah, good to be here. Well, it's just good to have you here.

Things are good. Things are good. Should we get to know us? Why not? Get to know us. You, Paul, you just came back. You were in San Francisco. Yeah, well, it's just outside of San Francisco, a place called Cupertino, and they have a comedy club there called Rooster Teeth Feathers. Is it San Cupertino, or is it just Cupertino, and they have a comedy club there called Rooster Tea Feathers. Is it San Cupertino, or is it just Cupertino?

No, it's Cupertino where the apple stuff gets made. The apple, like pies? No, like... Yeah, is that the home of apple pies? No, I think when you get a new Macintosh Apple computer... Yes, that's exactly right. It all comes from Cupertino, California. The time zone is set to Cupertino.

In fact, the lovely hotel room that they put you up at, and I mean lovely. This is one of the nicest hotel rooms I've had on tour, is in the same parking lot as the Apple headquarters. So that was very cool. So I wanted to ask them for free stuff, but I never got around to it. Yeah, it's so lazy. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it would probably be like if you go to a place that manufactures chocolate. They just have free chocolates at the front desk.

The secretary just gives you like an iPod shuffle. Yeah, grab a shuffle or an iPhone 4, whatever you need. Yeah, whatever you want. Thanks for visiting. Yeah, for sure. Rooster Teeth Feather sounds like a place that should serve chicken, but it doesn't. Or feathers. Yeah, like makes pillows or serves chicken.

You know. Yeah, like makes pillows or serves chicken. Yeah. You know what? They do serve chickens. And I don't like to bad talk them because this is like a really fun club and they're very, very nice. I've never heard anything bad about it. No. Yeah, yeah. It's a strange name.

If I was a paying customer and they put chicken on their nachos and it's some of the worst chicken I've ever had in my life. Really? Yeah. It's like it's some of the worst chicken i've ever had in my life really yeah it's like it's below subway processed chicken it's uh it's even below mr sub processed chicken so is roostertea feathers is that a character that they have that's like is it like a chucky cheese uh is there a guy in a rooster costume going around high-fiving you is there a rooster anywhere on any of the signage yes for sure yeah uh over the front door outside there's uh there's a rooster it says rooster and then there's a rooster symbol and like their little mascot and then feathers on the other side so they and uh and all their

posters and all that stuff there's a it's the same little promo guy. And he's a rooster. He's a crazy rooster. Well, you've got to be to be in this business. I mean, you don't have to be a crazy rooster to work here, but it helps. I like it when establishments kind of make the employees embody everything about the store. So there used to be a place in town called Wingnuts that sold wings, and I wished that all the employees had to pretend to be crazy. So I think for Rooster Teeth Feathers,

I want all the announcements to be, bock, bock, bock. Cockadoodle-doo, turn off your cell phones. Well, if you take the booking there. Cockadoodle-doo, do not leave your cell phones. Well, if you take the booking there. Cock-a-doodle-doo, not leave your cell phones on. There you go. If you take the booking there, you have to do five minutes on roosters. Oh, well, that's a challenge.

You have to have a rooster five. You have that. Yeah, that was in the back. You usually open with it. I wonder what happens to all the, like, because a lot of – especially during the summertime. Summertime is high time for mascots, right? Yeah, sure. That's when all the mascots come out.

Yeah. And it's the worst time. Oh, it's the worst time to be a mascot. Oh, yeah, yeah. For them, it's terrible. Greatest time to see a mascot. Worst time to be a mascot. But, you know, there's like every company – I remember growing up in Calgary, a lot of companies that you never knew would have a character associated.

It would be like, you know, Calgary International Oil Investors Association and it would just be like a crazy globe with eyes or something. Like it would just – you know, they would have one to have at these family functions. I wonder where those all go when the companies go tits up. Where do the mascots, does the person who wore it get to keep it? Or is there just a warehouse somewhere just filled with dilapidated mascot parts? Sometimes they'll show an all-mascot hockey game or soccer game or something. And you recognize two of them. Louis the Lightning Bug.

Sure. The San Diego Chicken. Oh no, he's a bit out of his league. Out of everyone's league. And then there's just random bears and insects. Maybe it's like getting sent down to the minors. You know what I mean?

If the company goes under, you go to the sports team the sports team you gotta go play for your dinner kind of thing there are because i think you don't really see very many mascots uh in professional sports maybe basketball because they have to dunk yeah the uh the phoenix sun Oh, yeah. And doesn't Toronto have one of those inflatable guys? Oh, yeah, the Raptor. And baseball has a lot, too. Baseball has a ton. Yeah, because they dance on the top of the dugout. It's great.

People throw stuff at them. You get the Mariner Moose. You get the San Diego Padre. But I think hockey and and Hockey have them But you get more in like The minor leagues Let's see how many of the What's the one that's here? It's a whale

Yeah, Finn And then in Calgary it's Harvey the Hound Pittsburgh's got a They have one, it's a penguin I have Finn's statistics here On a calendar He's 6'3 And he was born They have one. It's a penguin. I have Finn's statistics here. On a calendar. He's 6'3". He was born June 4, 2001.

So he's a young whale. But they grow up. They're bigger than humans. It's like dog years. When he's fully grown, he'll be like 18 feet. He will no longer be able to do that job. No, he can't. Pittsburgh has a penguin.

They have a penguin, yeah. What does Edmonton have? Not every team has one. Is that right? Because it's weird. Because they can't really go on the ice and go in the stands. Not at the same time, because of the skates. Yeah, exactly. But like,

you know, a basketball mascot has no trouble. So Toronto doesn't have a mascot? Leafy the Leaf. Leafy the Leaf. That'd be a good marketing meeting. What do you guys think? Mascot names, go. I think Ottawa does. They have a senator guy. I've seen a picture of him. Like the guy, he's wearing the...

He's like a Roman senator. Yeah, like a Roman senator. Yeah, he's not just like a dude, he's a senator. Yeah, he was appointed. He knew someone who knew the queen so what's new and exciting paul what's going on with you just in just in general terms in general thing anything interesting been going on well you know what um well this is kind of interesting so i had an old high school buddy that now lives in california outside of san francisco so i went i So I went a couple of days early to do the club. But he's got this really fun business that he's doing.

And he moved to the United States without a visa. So he was in a situation where he couldn't work and he needed to find a way to get money. So what he started doing was buying things for really low on craigslist for moving sales you know people are leaving tomorrow they got to get rid of this mattress and then taking a picture of it and selling it on craigslist and he's been doing it for uh for about six years and he still doesn't have a visa and well now he's married to an american girl he's he went uh he's took like four years of university an accountant now but uh now. Okay. But it was really interesting. So he took me on a couple of these deliveries.

And we always – all the guys thought like, ah, that – I mean, how good can that work or how – I got to tell you. He was flipping – I'd never seen so much. It was like he was a drug dealer but it was completely legal. Like it was unbelievable how much. So that's what – for the first four days in California, I drove from places to places with my buddy to pick up cheap mattresses and then we'd flip them and sell them so he would buy them flip your mattress every six months yeah so you bought he bought them off of craigslist and then sold them on craigslist that's right yeah exactly yeah people that people that were moving were letting them go for cheap yeah and, and it was really – and yeah, all our other buddies thought, wow, I mean, that's just a stupid idea.

But then I saw it in action and I got to say I was really impressed. Is he like always on the go with like two cell phones going and – Yeah, he's got two – He's talking to Tokyo. He's talking to Japan. You guys talk to each other. Bartering or like trying to get the price down. Yeah, oh, yeah, yeah.

What do you call that? Negotiating. Negotiating, yeah, yeah. He's got two phones? Negotiating. Negotiating. Yeah, yeah. He's got two phones and a house phone and his wife is into it too. Really? And they got pitches and, yeah, so he's up in the morning. It's all day in the truck. It was all day in the truck.

Wow. And it was a riot because, and then he told me to put my money up. You know, he's like, well, if you think it's silly, put your money up and flip a couple of yourself. So I did. I put some money up. I bought one for $50 and one for $100. And then the next day I sold the one for $100 for $300 and some and the $50 one for $200 and some. Is that right?

Yeah. Paid me more than Rooster Teeth Feathers. Wow. Well, they just pay you in chicken. That's right. Wow. And that's so great. That's so great.

Wow. And that's so great. Not just as an idea or a way to start a business, but the fact that he had to do it because he couldn't legally work. It's such a how to make it in America. Yeah, that's true.

James Brown would write a song about it. Have either of you bought stuff on Craigslist before or sold stuff? I've bought stuff. Yeah, absolutely. I always, when I need to get rid of stuff, I just get rid of it. I don't sell it. You're a free section guy.

Yeah. Yeah, I just give it away. Come pick it up. But yeah, I bought something. I bought a desk on Craigslist, and I bought a, what do you call that? Like the little wooden, you have one in your kitchen where you like chop pitch. Yeah, chopping block. I bought one of those.

Oh. Ten bucks. Yeah. Right? Pretty good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The freestanding one, not just like a cutting board. No, no, no.

Yeah, but gross. I tend to buy somebody else's old cutting board. No thanks. I'm always, like I've sold a futon frame. I meant to sell the entire futon. They didn't want it. Oh, yeah. Right.

I just took the frame off. Yeah. Thanks. And then it's just like I'm terrified of not terrified, but like it's always awkward that you have to meet the person. And they're always going to try to negotiate a different price than you agreed on. Yeah. And you're always going to say yes because you're price than you agreed on yeah and you're always gonna say yes because you're always a wuss yeah so like this guy would have to uh i wonder if that would work

or would you have to be in a place that's as populous uh like or as populated as california or would you like would it work in a place where the population is so spread out? Would you lose money having to drive out to Mission or what have you to sell something because of gas money and all that kind of stuff? Yeah, I think you're right. And I also think that the weather plays a huge – because, I mean, you can't be running mattresses around when it's pouring rain for half the year, right? Yeah, that's true. I mean, you can get a van. So anybody who's thinking about moving to Vancouvercouver and doing the same thing forget about it just marry one of us and we'll you can legally work yeah that's really interesting i wonder um and so like you uh that's all you had to do is

just buy a thing yep and then what did you do what do you mean when you flipped it like what did you well he had uh you know he's he you know, he's got a slick operation. He had a storage locker and everything like that. So we drop it off in the locker. And then you got to do a little photo shoot. You got to take new pictures of it. What a pretty lady on the bed. Yeah, pretty lady.

And then he's got a nice area rug he lays down, takes some pictures, and then just list it again. And then wait for hooks to come in. And I don't know if it's just a California thing, but it was never more than a half an hour before people started calling him about the mattress. Is that right? Yeah. And he was really – he was picky about it. He wouldn't let it go. He was really firm on his price and eventually somebody – and the key is the uh the delivery because no one has trucks so it was like yeah yeah delivery everybody

will uh pay uh through the nose for that yeah that's really smart yeah it was a it was an excellent idea and and he yeah any and all illegal immigrants who are listening there you go and he put himself through school with that. Put himself through school, yeah. Wow. Yeah, accountant. Four years at SJ State. And so it was a really impressive, man. Really, really impressive business, yeah. And all sorts of, yeah. And then we went golfing and ate sushi like kings and all sorts of stuff.

Golf course sushi. It's the best. Yeah. All sorts of spare money. So it was a really interesting experience. It was really fun. That's really, it's uh this is the thing like it's very difficult and i i think you've been through it or you're you're currently going through it it's very hard to get rid of a

couch yeah very hard to get rid of a mattress uh unless it's brand new like if you can sell it as only had it for two months you gotta move out of town or whatever but like a beaten up couch or you can't even give it away you can't the goodwill will come and look at it and go nope we have a couch sitting like the one you're sitting on right now is it's three weeks old it's great hey can you imagine and we have one of these go for in your flip oh yeah forget about it 320 at least. The one we have sitting out in the hallway there, we're just too lazy to... We need to find a day when we know it's going to be nice

for like three days in a row, which we could have. Yeah, August is the time. And leave it out because it's nice. It's leather. I mean, it's not nice, but it's... Nice enough. Yeah. It's nice for some college kids it's not nice, but it's... Nice enough. Yeah.

It's nice for some college kids. Exactly. They pay 50 bucks for that one. We should... Well, I don't even want money for it. I just want it gone. Oh, gone. Yeah.

Yeah. I think around the time school starts, we should just put it out. Yeah. In a schoolyard. Yeah. Leave it in a playground. Free. Working.

It's a working couch. I got rid of a couch once by... because vancouver's always there's like constantly constantly construction sites yeah i just throw a couch in uh one of those oh yeah now it's your problem beautiful one of the big industrial garbage bins wonderful idea uh former guest of the show cam mcleod uh yeah he uh he tells a story on stage about a prank his friend played on him where they posted something on Craigslist saying, free prawns? I caught a bunch of fresh prawns and I'm not going to eat them, so call this number. And he gave him Cam McCloud's number. So he just had tons and tons of messages of people going go i'd sure like to get them prawns

oh man that's really good um dave is there anything been going on with you any prawns um no uh the other uh yesterday i think i can't even remember who someone i follow on twitter posted uh that they were they took a picture on the sky train someone on the sky train uh it was during rush hour and they had a bike with them and so the the train is packed and the person is holding a bike vertically and then uh and that you know that's awful and today i was on the sky train and the same thing happened i was on it like three and it was pretty packed and the guy with the bike got on and he didn't get off the bike he was riding it like he was he was sitting on it the whole time and you know that's awkward yeah to get around and then i didn't even think about that at the stops people have to get on and get off and get around this guy on a bike. I just assumed

he would get off the train at the next stop, but he didn't, and the doors opened, and he looked at me. He wanted me to spot him. No, thanks. He was like, hey, am I leaving enough room? I think I feel, I don't know how to feel about

that. Yeah, you should just get off. But there are times when you're allowed. I don't know what the hours are you're allowed, you should just get off. But there are times when you're allowed. I don't know what the hours are you're allowed to bring. Not that time. You're not allowed to have it in rush hour, a bike on the train. There's no way. And the new trains, they have specific bicycle spots now where you can stand, right? Yeah, they've got a little thing that you put the tire in so it doesn't fly everywhere.

That's a problem, right? Bikes flying everywhere? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, That's a problem, right? Bikes flying everywhere? Yeah, there are hours though, right? Yeah, it's non-rush hours. So this dude in the photo is breaking the code. Is there like a do and do not? I think so because

I mean, there's a lot of do and do nots on public transit that people decide that rule doesn't apply to me. Masturbation. Yeah. Masturbation. Huge. Huge no-no. Oh, yeah, yeah. public transit that people decide that rule doesn't apply to me masturbation yeah yeah masturbation huge huge no-no oh yeah yeah um the whole this is something that i think i think it's generations of people who have lived with underground transit or mass public transit understand the whole get on get off yeah transaction that has to happen at the door of the train like if people are getting off you have to move out of their way before you can get on, get off transaction that has to happen at the door of the train. Like, if people are getting off,

you have to move out of their way before you can get on. Like, you can't push into the crowd pushing out. But I see it every time I ride the train. Just people who are like, I guess I have to force my way in through this person. Like, I have to push my way through this person to the other side.

Just stand aside for like 10 seconds and then you can pile on all you want. I remember being in Asia and there were signs that said, like on ferry boats and trains, that said in a few different languages, that said no hawking. And I think they meant like no selling stuff. Oh, no. But I thought... and I think they meant like no selling stuff. But I thought... And then there's a guy like standing there with one of those gloves

with a hawk on it. Like he's like a falconer. He's a hawker. But I thought they meant loogies. Oh, sure. But you hear people hawking loogies all the time in Asia. That's a cultural thing of...

Oh, yeah, that's perfectly appropriate to hork up your lung on a train. So no selling, no playing an instrument and getting donations. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a thing that started happening here in Vancouver. The selling or playing an instrument? The busking on the train between stops. Absolutely.

As you get closer out into the suburbs when the stops are farther apart, it started to happen. You need a license? No. These are guys that are coming on. Spoons. Yeah, sure. You know, harmonica, right? Shitty guitar.

And all the stuff you don't ever want to hear. Yeah, exactly. Stuff you just never want to hear anyways. Yeah, because now people travel on trains with stuff in their ears. Yeah. With headphones or... Or cars. Yeah, sure.

A head full of dreams. A pocket full of something. Yeah, so there's like... Speaking of Asia, that whole Chinese traffic snarl sure has given racists their day, huh? That hadn't occurred to me until now. It's really given them the, huh? Was I right? Justified, right? I only saw a little bit about it, that it's been a 60-mile-long traffic jam. Yeah.

That's been going on for 10 days. Yeah, and it broke up. It's already kind of resolved itself. What caused it? Nobody knows. It's like a series of factors that, you know. It's not just someone slammed on their brakes. And it goes like, ka-tick, ka-tick, ka-tick, ka-tick.

slammed on their brakes. And it goes like... Well, no, not crashes, but just like... Apparently there's an effect that happens when you're on the highway and you put your brakes on. It causes... It's like a wave of... Everybody slows down? Yeah. And it causes traffic jams.

And there's no explanation for it. Once you get out of the traffic jam, you don't see why it was caused. Oh, yeah, like there's no accident that's been cleared. There's no anything. Huh. I thought you meant there's just like one jerk at the very front of it that wouldn't move for 10 days.

Go around. Yeah. I'm flipping a mattress. I'm not going in. I'm flipping a mattress. So, yeah, I took the train today, and that was awful. And then the other thing that happened is yesterday I went and saw Piranha 3D. Oh, man, I really want to see that.

Yeah, you should see it. It's everything you want out of it. It's as ridiculous as you expect, and there's so much blood and every death is so ridiculous. Yeah, I don't even... The only thing that I could do to spoil it would be to tell you about the deaths. Yeah. Because you don't even care about the people. Oh, God, do you not care about the people. But yeah, there's...

Oh, man. is there some good jumps like some good startles um uh yeah towards uh i don't even want to say when they are but they're they're in there yeah there's a few uh good ones but mostly it's gory i just love that uh what's his name is in it richard dreyfus yeah That's the greatest. Basically playing the same character you played in Jaws. Yeah. Yeah. I saw it at the Rio Theater yesterday, which is a few blocks from my house, and they just got the capability to do 3D.

Yeah. And there were, as far as I could tell, three people in the theater. Right. Abby, myself, and another guy. Richard Dreyfuss. three people in the theater right uh abby myself and another guy uh richard dryson and uh so we were sitting like right in the middle and this other guy's about five rows ahead of us uh on not even in the middle section on one of the aisle sides and he um would would uh And he would talk to the movie and, like, react really loud. And I assume it was for our benefit because I don't know. Like, there's a scene where the whole movie's got kind of like a fake Girls Gone Wild thing is happening.

Right. And a guy's looking at the Girls Gone Wild website and there's porno on the screen of his computer and the guy's like, oh, the guy in the audience. Clapping at stuff. And it's just the three of us. Yeah. We should have sat next to you.

Yeah. Made it less awkward. Yeah. But yeah, I feel bad when a movie theater has to run the movie even though I'm the only person there. I feel great about it. That's my favorite.

Because it's just, you know, that guy's still getting paid. Yeah. It's great. Private viewing. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's great in a multiplex. But if it's the only theater in the place.

Well, when you went in it, like, it was you. It was 4 o'clock. 4 o'clock. Yeah. But, you know, I feel like, I they got what are they gonna do not run it yeah that's true if no one shows up do they still run it um if a tree falls in the woods people might show up late yeah i think they do they run it uh because the projectionist still has to be paid and all they do is project that is what they do so you know you know, it's just practice.

Projection practice. It might be a good one to bring in the apprentice. Sure. He can set up the second reel. Or she. Hey, ladies can be projectionists too, all right, guys? Yeah, yeah, don't, yeah, yeah, Graham. I saw there's a, the website Vimeo. It's like YouTube for art films.

Yeah. And all they do, well, you or I could have an account, but there's a lot. Let's do it. There's a lot of people on there who make documentaries about dying trades. Oh, yeah. There was a good one a few months ago about people painting advertisements on the sides of buildings. I thought that was a dead trade. I would say that that was already dead.

Well, there's only a handful of people still doing it in New York. Are there buildings that still let? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's really interesting. I thought that was over. And then there was one about, I think, projectionists and how weird and lonely it is. And how it was one about, I think, projectionists and how

weird and lonely it is. And how it's also a dying trade. Huh. I wonder what the top ten dying trades are. I would say projectionists, right up there. Like that, I would already say a dead one would be the painting on the side of buildings. So maybe I gotta think of, like, what's one that I

already think is dead that might actually... Oh, what were those doctors that would stretch like – I don't want to call them midgets, but they would do the surgery on their legs where they would put the bolts in. Oh, shin. Yeah, you know what I'm talking about? That shin surgery. Yeah, yeah. How much taller are they trying to make them? They only get about maybe three or four inches at most.

No, because they still do that with people who have one leg longer than the other. Yeah. Oh, so, yeah, just know that it was like a specific thing to... I think if you're going to a dying trade, you shouldn't start immediately with a medical. Okay, okay. So a dying trade. I'd say... Cobbler?

Cobbler, yeah, yeah, yeah. But sometimes you need to... Well, yeah, it's dying, though. say cobbler cobbler yeah yeah yeah but you sometimes you need to well yeah it's dying though there's not many cobbler old old mom and pop yeah yeah absolutely haberdasher haberdasher yeah totally how about uh how about gmc mechanics yeah sure yeah right yeah they gotta be going out yeah um yeah like paperboy we've already talked about how how you know there's no such thing as a Paperboy anymore. They're all men in cars. That's true. You can't, if you played the video game Paperboy now, it would be dark.

It would be a driving game. I'm convinced though, because I think that the men in cars are pissed off dads that their kids, yeah, yeah. And they've slept in because that's what my sister did. She got a paper route and then it was my dad waking up an extra two hours every morning to deliver these papers. I think it's all just a bunch of pissed off dads doing it for their kids. Yeah. That they'll sleep in before school.

That's what I think. I'm convinced of it. What about strong man? Like those guys that used to just do feats of strength. Yeah. They're not around anymore. Like they're all in the strong man competitions. Steak and to just do feats of strength yeah they're they're not around anymore like they're all in the strong man competition eggs like with the mustaches yeah yeah like the guys who would you know they tear a phone book and have

yeah they lift up those like um diamond not diamond uh uh like uh uh pyramid shaped weights yeah yeah and they bend rebar around their neck. Stuff like that. How do you tear a phone book in half nowadays anyway? That's true. You get the online directory printed out. Very expensive. Yeah. Like any kind of circus freak.

Yeah, that's true. Any kind of circus freak. They're having a bad time. I'm trying to think of what else. What else is kind of a dying breed? I would assume anybody in the kind of cattle ranching.

It's all mass feed lots now. So any kind of cowboy work would be on the way. There's a demand for organic stuff. So people want free-range cows and chickens and whatnot. Well, if anybody else has any suggestions, stop podcasting yourself at gmail.com. Please.

Enlighten us. Graham, what's up with you? A couple of things. Graham, what's up with you? A couple of things. Today, I saw a guy, and this is a thing, I guess it depends on where you live. But for me, it's a thing that you see once every couple of years at most. A guy in the full neo-Nazi outfit. What?

Like the laced up boots to the knee possibly never at most yeah well like uh you know different uh different populations or different cities would have more of them proportionately uh but this guy was like with the shaved head and had a shirt with the ss on it and a vest and looked like he had just been beaten up so many times and and it was hot out today too so he was wearing like the heavy leather this and that and uh everybody it was like like seeing a circus clown like walk up the street like it was just like what is this guy doing and speaking of mascots yeah but it was really like it was a real jaw dropper everybody like you could just see the as he was walking up the street the wave of people that kind of turned their head

just like what is this guy doing and uh it's just so rare like i mean it's good that it's rare yeah but uh yeah like and just walking kind of like in what was the movie edward norton um american history acts with the kind of like they have this kind of weird kick out walk he was doing that walk it was great like a bushwhackers he's kind of walking like one of the bushwhackers um did he have a dumb look on his face oh he looks so dumb i mean he really did like it's it's bad to judge people on appearance no it's not he really looked like a dumb guy yeah i don't think this was just a mistake i don't this isn't like having you know

parsley in your teeth no yeah he just looked and he looked really terrible like he looked like a guy who had i think he had his teeth knocked out like he looked like a guy who's really done it for the cause like he's really had a rough go this guy but yeah by himself like what by himself yeah yeah you would want like you're gonna get spit on a lot yeah and you better be walking like a bushwhacker because you're gonna you're gonna be in a fight every day yeah every day you're gonna be in a fight and it's crazy though is because i think everybody's reaction was it was like like i say like if a clown or if ogopogo or something just was walking up the street you're just like what a crazy thing to see somebody in the full like head to toe shaved head the whole nine nine anyway so i just it's like you just don't see it yeah that's one of those things that like if there was a sixth village person or like it would be something. Like it's borderline gay fetish.

Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. Is a neo-Nazi, is that a gay fetish? No, I don't think so. It probably is. But like just the costumery of it. Yeah. Like it's up there with the construction worker, you know, Indian headdress.

What about substitute teacher? A guy with patches on his tweet jacket? Sexy professor. A sexy professor. Or a doctor. You know, like the thing you were talking about last week, the flip down eye thing. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, so yeah, I saw a neo-Nazi guy. How do you know he was neo?

Well, he was not in old school. He was very young. Wasn't in a wheelchair? Yeah, exactly. This guy was huffing it up the street. And then the other night, I was at a show, and I think Abby had a pair of these back in the day. They were like the sleeves that you put on, and they look like you have tattoos. Oh, yeah, yeah. They were like these nylon sleeves.

She did have a pair, for jokes. Yeah, for jokes. And I bought a pair, too, And I thought they were really funny. And I wore them like twice. And I was at a show. And there was a girl at the bar who had her hair done up like, you know, 1950 or whatever. Greaser woman. Sure.

You know what I'm talking about? You know, burlesque bartender. Yeah, yeah. She was sitting at the bar. And I looked at her arms. And I was like, because those tattoo sleeves, they would just be like – they would say stuff like, rad, and then a picture of a skateboard, and then a flower. Oh, right, right. And like a skull. Yeah, the fake ones.

It's like there would be so many spaces between them that it didn't look like a real sleeve. Yeah. And they would have flowers, and know a hypnotism thing that kind of circled like and so i was looking at her and i was gonna go up and go like i have a pair of those and then it was only at the last second when i was walking towards her that i realized those are real like really shitty tattoos she has like one both of her arms and did you see anything specific yeah like it was at the top of the thing there was a little boat.

And I was like, nobody would get a picture of like a shitty, like, you know, like a boat, like when you draw it, like, you know, line and then semicircle and then thing triangle. That's what it looked like. So I was like, ah, that's not a real tattoo. And it was.

She had the worst tattoos I've ever seen. Like in many of them. Her whole arm was covered in these doodles, like something you'd do if you were born in history class. Yeah, I wonder if it was that she did them at home by herself with a protractor and a thick pen. So I just felt really kind of... I was glad I caught myself in that last second. There's two kinds of protractors, right?

There's the kind with the needle and the pencil. That's a compass. Is that a compass? Yeah, the needle and the pencil. The protractor is the plastic semicircle with the numbers on it. And then a compass is you put it down in the middle

and then you draw a circle. And the other compass is to tell you what direction you're going. Which doesn't work on Predator Planet. Oh, really? Yeah, that's true. That's a fact. Yeah, so those are my two kind of biggest events. I saw a neo-Nazi and a girl with really horrible tattoos.

Very good. And I saw Scott Pilgrim versus the universe. Is that what it's called? Oh, yeah. Or versus the world. The world. Whatever. Just ask for Scott Pilgrim. the universe. Is that what it's called? Oh, yeah. Or versus the world. World. You know, just ask for Scott Pilgrim. They'll know what you're talking about.

When I went to see it, I saw it a couple weeks ago. Did you see it, Paul? No, I haven't seen it. It's worth seeing. Yeah? Yeah. I would endorse to go see it in the theater. Would you?

Yeah, sure. Yeah, yeah. I liked it a lot. Yeah. When I saw it, the person in front of me in line said the whole title of the movie, though. I thought that was funny. One for for sky pilgrim versus the universe please yeah um what about those people that they don't even go far enough that pilgrim movie or something like that yeah go too short exactly both are annoying you could say right yeah well uh no i like i uh yeah they're both annoyed okay i don't know what we're arguing

but i'm just trying to i'm trying to make be the devil's advocate but you know i guess they're both annoyed yeah but i'm easily annoyed that's true avoid the noise i forgot to mention something in the what's going on yeah yeah because we all get to know it. Yeah. Oh, yeah. So I'm seeing this young lass that the three of us probably know. Yeah, yeah. But anyway, today she woke up and she told me that she had a dream about Graham Clark. Well, what young lass doesn't? Right. And the dream was she she was uh she was doing

product testing and you were the product tester oh really yeah and then uh you were forcing the class to drink four liters of milk in an hour it's important to know if people like doing that and you were really mean about it is it a frat is she trying to get into a frat wow it was a scientific thing and you were the professor making forcing people to drink she made everyone jack off onto a cracker wow yeah that's got to mean something i think she's lactose intolerant yeah i think so yeah yeah but that's going on that's something that's. Yeah, or maybe before bed she had graham crackers and milk. Ooh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Never before bed. That's what I say.

What's the most milk you ever drank? Go. Oh, I drank a, on a dare, I drank a one liter straight. Oh, and chugged it? Yeah, man, that felt horrible. No doubt. You know? You need cake to soak it up.

Also, I think I drank one of those chocolate milk, those one, man, that felt horrible. No doubt. You know? You need cake to soak it up. Also, I think I drank one of those chocolate milk, those one liter jugs that you get. Yeah. I saw a lady buying, I was at 7-Eleven like two weeks ago and I saw a lady buying, it's a Big Gulp

and I guess it almost looks like it's a joke because it is about the size of like a bachelor apartment garbage can like it's yeah yeah you know what i mean like it easily would hold like two and a half liters of fluid yeah but it's shaped like a coffee cup and nobody's drinking that much what are you what are you putting in oh yeah the you know what i'm talking about yeah the like um uh insulated one yeah but it's like it's it's literally what do you think it's like 20 inches across well on barbecue pitmasters just now we saw a guy drinking crown royal uh a bottle that

had a like a jug handle yeah which i've never seen in stores yeah with the crown royal logo um we uh uh when i was a kid i could drink so much disgusting stuff. Yeah. Like a super big gulp was nothing to me. Yeah. Now I'll be so dehydrated. But is that what it is? Is it for pop?

No. You think it would be for coffee? I think it's for pop. Yeah. The super big gulp? The big one? It's a big. It's a black thing.

It's got a coffee cup handle on the side. I think it maybe had all the NHL sports team logos on it. I think that might have been the theme of it. Did you see the Stanley Cup and you're just confused maybe? Yeah, maybe I'm just dreaming. Stanley Cup with a handle on it?

But it was this lady, she was buying it. It was like $4 but I just didn't know what you were I always kind of thought that truckers buy those to pee in on their own. Oh, yeah, that makes sense. Because it's got a handle. Yeah. You know?

It's dark. You don't got to worry about falling in that. Dark and warm and inviting. Just like a toilet. Insulated. That seems... I could never be a trucker. No?

And yet that's not a dying trade Yeah that's strange It's as vital as ever Do you think we would be able to vaporize things Or have a robot trucker A bunch of robot truckers Driving around Or just conveyor belts

We've got a great big convoy Let's move on to overheards, huh? Sure. Overheard. Overheards. If you don't know what the segment is by now, you'll never, ever get to know it. We always like to start with a guest. And Paul, if you would lead the way in terms of overheards.

I know you got one. I'm excited. Oh, I'm excited for you. I'm very excited, yeah, because this is okay of overheards i know you got one i'm excited oh i'm very excited yeah because um because this is a joint overheards it's the joint chiefs of staff orvo herds because the spike lead this is uh well it was it was it has to do with me and graham so this is this is rare this is very rare um so i was you were headlining the um mix. That's right. Yep. And I was emceeing.

Yep. And you did a great job, by the way. You as well. You as well, sir. And many people from Stop Podcasting came out. That's one thing I would like to mention. A lot. Tons. I forgot to mention that last week.

And thank you to all the people who came out. You made it very enjoyable. Yeah. A weekend isn't always as enjoyable as i would say as well i'd say these other credits like you know uh laugh off champ and tv and no one would boo and then stop podcasting and 16 people so i was surprised how many people came out there's a lot of people boo your credits yeah i have a sticker i'm a real heel of comedy yeah so um overheard i'm i'm uh i i go upstairs for a cigarette and then um i come back downstairs and uh one of the servers for the club was with me

having a cigarette and she's she's going down the stairs first and two old ladies are coming up the stairs while we're going down and they say to the the server, they say, she's got a jacket on. So they don't know she's a server. They say to the server, oh, don't go down there. Worst comedy club in history. Wow. In history. In history.

Goodness gracious. Was it while Graham was on stage? No. Presumably. I think it was Kyle Bottom that was on stage no presumably i think it was the i think it was kyle bottom that was on stage so and then i and then i and then and then they say the same thing to me and then i i look at the old ladies and i say you realize i was one of the comics on stage and then instead of being like you were great, they said, sorry. Wow. Wow.

Two old ladies agree. At the club there, they have comment cards. And every table gets a comment card, and you're asked to fill it out and put it in a fishbowl to win a free night of comedy. Yeah. Spa treatment. And I always, like, after every show, I think people think the cards are going to be, like... Hidden away. Yeah.

But I just reach my hand in the fishbowl and just read them out. And it's always like, what did you think of the show? And who would you like to have booked here? Jim Carrey! Yeah. Russell Peters! Will Ferrell!

Good Overheard! It was an interactive bit. It was great and I was so excited about it because you had asked me to come and do the podcast and then it happened after that and then I was like, well, I don't have to listen for Overheards now. That's it. Done and done. Yeah, it was just so delightful.

It was so perfect. Worst comedy club in history. Wow. Love it. Dave, I know you're chomping at the bit. I know you got one. I do have one. This is big.

Let's not build it up too much, guys. I was at the liquor store today buying the very beers you're drinking. So delicious. You're welcome. Good hunting and gathering. I was in line, and there was a new checkout guy there, and you could tell he was new because his name tag just said clerk. Yeah.

It may have been Clark, though. No, no. Oh, okay. Bear with me. And there was a woman in line ahead of me, and she was like a brassy old dame. She's like, we just came from the worst company club ever. Mona from Who's the Boss. Okay, yeah.

She was redheaded. Fiery. She bought some drinks, and she paid for them them and he gave her her change and she said, thank you. Chuck, is it? And he said, it's Clark. Oh, Clark. You don't get a lot of Clarks these days. You don't?

I guess you don't. I completely stepped on it there, man. Sorry. That's okay It was great Well Paul's banned forever Oh no

The important thing is That Paul is banned And I will be returning next week Another overheard That was the worst comedy club ever Oh man In history In history In history In the history of comedy clubs Graham Yeah That was the worst comedy club ever. Oh, man.

In history. In history. In history. In the history of comedy clubs. Graham? Yeah? You haven't overheard? I do.

I was. The other night I was on the train. Lots of train talk. Apologize for all the train talk on this one. Chugga chugga choo choo. Oh, here's the thing, if I can, just before. I saw the greatest thing. It was so great. This truck had to speed through, like a big industrial truck, had to speed through a red light.

It was waiting to cross the street, and he had to speed through the red light. And he honked his horn, but it sounded like a train. I saw that truck. Yeah, and everybody around me went, yay! Everybody was so enamored with it. Where was it? It was on Broadway. Yeah.

Yeah, it was a big purple truck, shiny. It was like an industrial truck, and it had the doo-doo. It confused me so much, because I was driving, and I heard it, and I was like, oh, I'm changing lanes because I'm stuck behind a trolley. It was very Inception. That's what it was. It was within a dream, within a dream where I had to drink four liters of milk. But I was on the train platform and there's this group of guys that were getting in trouble from the train cops. group of guys that were getting in trouble from the train cops and uh they the greatest thing was these two there were three of them and two of the guys were so uninterested in getting in trouble

that they were paying attention to everything but the guy who was talking to them about like this is how much the fine is and give us your id and all this stuff and then a guy another guy unrelated walked by with a Big Mac he was eating. And the guy just interrupted the cop while he was talking to him. Said, dude, where'd you get that Big Mac? Vending machine. The dumbest question in the history of the world. Yeah, there's only one place, right?

It's on every corner. I went to McDonald's before dinner, or before the show today, because I was starving. Yeah. And whenever I go to McDonald's, it's like, it's because it's an emergency. Yeah, yeah. And it's never good, right? No. It always betrays you.

No, but it's never like, I've never, you know, gotten sick or anything. I've gotten sick. But like, you know, your car smells for a day. Yeah. The thing about someone getting hassled by the Skytrain cops... The train man. They have no power. Especially if you're a kid, you don't have any ID anyway.

Well, these were actual cops that were patrolling the train areas. But these guys, they didn't have any money. But it was just great. A total disregard for the trouble they were in. And then this guy walks by with his hamburger, and he's just like, dude, shut up, cop guy. Yeah, yeah. we heard your spiel there's a guy walking around the big mac and the other thing that was kind of also great was the guy was walking around the big mac with like no wrapper or box he just just had the hamburger

like a cartoon yeah exactly like you got it from a street vendor McDonald's. I was coming back from the club in New Westminster on the train. Laugh lines, two Fs. Laugh lines, two Fs. Yeah, yeah. Two lefts. Laugh lines, two lefts. There was a young man smoking on the train.

Oh, Jesus. Flat out smoking a cigarette on the train um and everybody was sort of looking at and then so uh they must have caught it on the security cameras because two stops down they stopped the train and then um some train cops came on train cops and they said you in the red shirt you're smoking you're out get out and then he stands up and then goes like this with his blind cane oh oh blind so now he's saying to the cops i didn't know i didn't know i was on the train which is complete bullshit right it's bullshit yeah because your thing would have been better i didn't see the signs i didn't know i couldn't smoke on this train yeah i'm from belgium and but the cop uh let him stay on he knew he was beat but the car and but you could see the frustration and the cop saying like come on you knew you were on the train you idiot you know like come on next stop yeah but in front of all these good citizens he's not going to kick a blind

guy off the train so the cop was beaten he could see how frustrating was and then the cop all he all he could muster up to say he's like i'm blind i didn't know i'm blind i'm blind he kept on saying it and the cop says well get over it oh whoa how do you get over being blind yeah yeah totally yeah uh when i was at the movie yesterday they they have uh you know how they play the um uh before the the trailers they just have uh stuff know how they play the um uh before the the trailers they just have uh stuff that comes up on the screen like local advertisements um and one of them or like uh telling people to turn off their cell phones and one of them at the theater said uh no smoking and then in in parentheses anything in the theater so like like people, oh, it's a movie theater, but I assume I'm allowed to smoke reefer.

Yeah, because we're watching next Friday. It's a Friday, what do they call those? Retrospective? Yeah. You watch all the Fridays. Friday, next Friday, Friday after next. Yeah, yeah. Are we there yet? Are we done yet? People will smoke...

I heard of people smoking those vaporizer pipes now in theaters because there's no smoke, right? And where there's no smoke, there's no... I watched... I had a bit of a movie bonanza on Saturday. They were just playing

all movies that I have trouble not watching. When I watch a little bit of them, then I can feel like one of them was Strange Brew, which I just watched the whole thing of. And then I also watched Ferris Bueller. If I see Ferris Bueller from the beginning, I have to watch

it to the very end. If you see it from any part, you have to watch it. Although it's more fun at the beginning. It is more fun when he's talking to the camera. But then I watched it through that thing that I'm sure you've kind of heard on the internet. It's somewhat like playing the Pink Floyd's The Wall with the Wizard of Oz movie. You watch Ferris Bueller through the lens of it's like Fight Club. Like Ferris Bueller is the Tyler Duda. Yeah, he doesn't exist.

It's Cameron. Yeah, Cameron is... And then when you watch it, the one thing that's really interesting is at no point in the movie, aside from the very, very end, nobody else sees Ferris Bueller except Cameron and his girlfriend. Those are the only people that see him that are connected to him. people that see him uh that are connected to him so it very it does fall into that very easily where it could be cameron that everybody's talking because you don't you never see cameron's parents but you see ferris's parents come home in the middle of the day yeah and check on their sick son yeah and uh and it could be that the girlfriend knows about the kind of dual personality and uh but that she's the only one related to them

that sees both of them together. She's the Marla. Yeah, yes, exactly. If you ever have a chance, and you're high, may I suggest watching Ferris Bueller through a new lens. We have some overheards sent in from guests, or not guests, sorry, listeners. If you want to send in your own overheard, you can

write to us at stoppodcastyourself at gmail.com The first one comes from Josh S. Josh writes, Recently my seven-year-old son was playing with a nine-year-old neighbor at a cookout. At one point the nine-year-old, who is really into jokebook caliber riddles,

was bombarding my son with various puns and knock-knock jokes. My son's sense of humor is a little more dry, as this overheard will demonstrate. Son, I have a joke. Why did the robot cry? Nine-year-old, because he oiled himself? Pretty good punchline to just come up with on the fly. Son, no, because he was very very sad pretty great um did you uh have joke books when you were kids oh tons of them yeah like uh they'd

always have things like wacky wacky wordplay and silly somethings you know like they always have that kind of title there's always have them? 101 joke books. I had one that was British and so it had a few things that I didn't quite get. There was one joke about Aha, the

Norwegian band that sang Take On Me. This is a classic Shumka joke from my family. Where were aha when the lights went out? In the dark. That was apparently the name of one of their albums. You really had to know a lot about aha. And I don't even think that's the album that had take on me.

Here's the joke when I was a kid that confounded me for probably until I was like later on in my teenage years was the how do you get down from a horse? You don't. And I was like, what the fuck does that mean? Like every time I read that joke, I was like, it doesn't mean anything. Because I'm allergic to feather pillows. We never had down anything. And you had to be completely ignorant of down. I was.

Because they would always be called feather. I never, until I was nearly an adult, ever heard something called a down comforter or a down pillow. And then the first time that somebody was like, oh, we have down pillows at the hotel, I was like, down from a horse. It just all flashed back in my head.

Aha. Perfect. Now I can sleep on this horse pillow. Now I can sleep On this horse pillow We have another one from Mary P Mary writes My co-worker overheard the best compliment

While at the Mall of America yesterday She saw an 18 year old-ish Girl come out of the dressing room To show her friend some leggings And a tank top look Her friend was impressed So she naturally said come out of the dressing room to show her friend some leggings and a tank top look. Her friend was impressed, so she naturally said, Wow, you look just like Justin Bieber's prom date.

Pretty great. That's almost like an insult. Yeah. Or it's like something Juno would say Oh Juno Our final one from this part Comes from Taylor T Just listening to your Darcy Michael episode And it reminded me of an overread

I saw last month on Facebook I guess the mother of a distant acquaintance had recently died because his status was something sweet and poetic to that effect. It showed up on my homepage, but what caught my eye was one of the comments that read, Your mom died. Boo. And the frowny emoticon with it. That's inappropriate, right? the frowny emoticon with it. That's inappropriate.

Right? Although I also don't like it when someone has a status update that's really cryptic and sort of like they're talking about maybe someone died and you want to know who. Yeah, that's true.

But they're not giving you too much. They're like, I miss you, boobie. Boobie's not the right name. Bubby? Maybe? Sure, yeah. Like if it's a Jewish grandmother? Is someone dead or is this the anniversary

of someone dying? You need to give me more information. Or maybe it's just somebody who's away. Yeah. Far away. I miss you, Boo. But yeah, if you want to send in any overheards or overreads or oversaws to us, you can send them to stoppodcastyourself at gmail.com. And if you would like to send in any overheards or overreads or oversaws to us, you can send them to StopPodcastYourself at gmail.com.

And if you would like to call in with your overheard, our phone number is 206-339-8328. Let's have a listen to this week's call. Hey, Dave and Graham, Impossible Guests. This is Elaine from here in Vancouver, and I have this

overheard that I got on the SkyTrain about maybe a month and a half ago, two months ago. It's kind of a hard one to call in because it's got some interesting language. Anyway, so basically it was this 20-year-old guy and this girl on the SkyTrain. And it looked like she was coming in from a different city. And he was telling her all about, I think it was Stanley Park. And she was saying how there was this water park there. And she was kind of interested. And she's like, oh, you know, did you guys go there a lot?

And he's like, yeah, it was the greatest thing when you're 13 years old. You know, you go and you go swim and you see all these girls in bikinis. It's great. And she's like, oh, okay. And then he said, yeah, because, you know, when you're 13, you can go and you can sit in the water to hide your boner. Oh, it's perfect. And she's like, okay.

He's like, yeah, grade eight, the year of the boner. Grade eight really is the year of the boner. Yeah. Although I feel like grade six was also, and seven. A lot of boners. It's been, boner had a long run. Yeah, yeah, yeah. In France, the first time my folks took me to France, right around that age, they're topless beaches.

Oh, yeah. So I had to be in the water the whole day. Constant boner. Paul just really loves the water. water it won't come out for anything you say the first time your parents took you how many times have you been to france uh they took us a couple of times to um but um it's not that my family was super wealthy or whatever my dad worked in the airline he worked for air canada so um we were able – like it's – I'm not accusing you of being wealthy. Yeah, yeah.

And then also one of my uncles had a house in France. So we were able to go once in a while just to – in Nice. He had a place just outside of Nice. Rock beaches. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow. Yeah, very nice. Populous beaches but no sand.

Yeah. Yeah, I remember there was this one kid. I think I took swimming lessons with him or something. That's all he wanted to talk about was his boner. It was just like, how many he's had. When did you lose count? Yeah, exactly. This guy is just like, at the time, I wasn't even sure I had one,

and he'd had like 17, and I was just like, wow, that's a remarkable number of boners. And then he kept calling them boners, which is like so, I don't know, it's so ingrained. It's great to hear that there's still kids still using the nomenclature boner. Like that to me, well, you know, things come and go. Yeah, sure. You'd expect it to be some kind of cyber crime thing now something from tech war yeah that's what kids learn in school they gotta learn about tech war sometime right hello graham dave and probable guests uh this is joshua in st louis calling with an overheard i was in a delicate helston buying myself a sandwich and there was a young lady standing in line behind me

with a big cursive tattoo on her forearm. Someone came up to her and said, hey, I realized your tattoo, but why does it say Jasper? And she said, it's not Jasper, it's Inspire. Take care, guys. So badly written cursive writing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because of her love for the movie Empire Records. Yeah. Inspire. Take care, guys. Bye. So badly written cursive writing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because of her love for the movie Empire Records.

Yeah. Inspire? Or what? I don't get the reference. I thought it was... What? Oh, Inspire was the tattoo. Was the tattoo.

Instead of Jasper. No, I thought that he said Empire. No. Oh, Inspire. Inspire. Oh, I did not hear that right at all. My apologies. I blame the audio equipment.

Inspire. Oh, I did not hear that right at all. My apologies. I blame the audio equipment. Did you see LeVar Burton online had a tattoo that he got? That if you read it one way, it said LeVar, and if you read it the other way, it said Kunta? Because that's his character from Roots or whatever? It's just the style of writing made it look... I heard that he has a personalized license plate that says Kunta as well.

And I'm not kidding. It's funny that he has decided that that's the character... Yeah, not Geordi LaForge. Yeah, LaForge. Or Reading Rainbow. Well, maybe if you read it in another way, it says LaForge. Yeah. So what if you look at it forwards, it says LeVar, and then it says, Kunta, and then if you stare

at it, it becomes like a magic eye, and it says, Geordie LaForge. It says, don't take my word for it. Did you ever watch that show as a kid? Reading Rainbow? Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Butterfly in the Sky? Yeah, take a look.

It's in a book. I can fly twice as high. That was the missing lyric that you guys didn't say. A Reading Rainbow. Yeah, what a great program. I can fly twice as high. That was the missing lyric that you guys didn't say. A reading rainbow. Yeah, what a great program. And Geordie LaForge, he was the Star Trek guy with the crazy glasses. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Do you call them glasses? It was the hair band over his eyes. Do you say a visor? A visor, yeah, you're right. That was a popular move when I was a kid. If some girl left her hairband sitting around that you put it on and be like hey i'm the blind guy from star trek or the black guy depending on how you want or maybe one guy would go hey i'm reading rainbow and he would never get his visor had like uh um it was like an air filter. It had ridges in it. HEPA.

Yeah, yeah. Healthy eyes. Got to keep the dust out of your eyes because you're blind. But he never had a problem getting around. No, he was fine. Those things made him able to see. Oh, yeah. Shapes.

And did you ever see him without... You did see him once in a while without his glasses because I remember he had little metal things on the side of his temples. Yeah, he had, and then he would just have a completely blank eye. Would he take them off when he went in the tanning booth and just put those little things over his eyes? Did you ever see it? I never watched the show. Did you ever see it from his perspective, like what he could see? could see um no they did a that's one of the rare times that i laughed really hard at family guy was the episode where stewie hung out with the cast of next generation and he put stewie puts on the glasses and all you see is white supremacists and he's like why would they make you wear these anyways good quick joke right everybody enjoyed it i i don't watch family guy i did at the beginning i watch it but there's a lot always on tv yeah like if you leave your tv on long enough but it's

it's very much something a comedy snob uh uh thumbs their nose at yes no yeah because it's bad most of the time it's it's like it's uh in terms of storytelling, the cutaways to the things have nothing to do with – But also the gag ratio. Like I don't know how you calculate that batting average that people talk about in baseball. But their average is probably like one per 25 gags is funny. Yeah. Which is incredibly – like if you were watching a stand-up act, those two ladies would have left ages ago. One in 25 was funny.

That's a terrible ratio. But there's Sarah Silverman's boyfriend is a writer for Family Guy, and he's on Twitter, and I follow him. The Sulk is his name, and he's the best. So funny. He's the best guy on Twitter. I bet you everybody that writes for that show is hilarious. Because they are, it's nothing but a gag factory. But it's just like, I don't really like the characters.

That's all. But the Carrot Top gag they did was one of the funniest Carrot Top gags I've ever seen. Better than the Gene Simmons Family Jewels one. But it's Carrot Top shows up at a college show and he doesn't have his trunks with him. So then he just has to describe what each he's like, imagine if it was

this thing. And I thought that was really funny. So I'm sure all of the people that write for it are funny. But it's just not. You know, it's showbiz. Somewhere along the way. But the weird thing is I love American Dad. That is the weird thing.

Yeah, isn't that weird? Like, I think American Dad is funny. I don't like Family Guy. I don't like the other one, Cleveland Show. I've never watched that. But American Dad, something about it makes me laugh. Hey, guys. This is Brett from Los Angeles calling in with an overheard.

Last weekend, I was standing in front of a restaurant with my girlfriend while we waited for the valet to bring the car around. And as we were standing there talking, this group of teenage boys walked by, and I heard one of them say to his friend, God, they take their cupcakes so fucking seriously. And then, as if to echo my own thoughts, one of his friends responded with, Dude, calm down.

Yeah. Relax, it's Cupcake Town. Yeah. Have you seen that show about cupcakes? It's made here. There's two shows, actually. Oh, really? There's the Washington, D.C. one,

and then there's a local one it's like a like a uh cake boss but it's cupcake queen yeah yeah there's uh there's the one in vancouver i i haven't seen much of it what's it called uh yeah you know cupcake styles uh do it in the cupcake washington one I think it's called DC cupcakes or cupcakes DC and it's the worst like the fakest of all the reality shows

you know how you think it's fake when like Gene Simmons makes his kids do a dumb thing this is the worst this is the DC one or the Vancouver one the DC one a guy Vancouver one the DC one a guy's got a crush on her let's see

if the sparks fly maybe she'll make a cupcake for him not only is it badly acted because they are acting but there's so much exposition I'm so mad I understand your anger

there's one show i think it might be a canadian only show and i uh i hate it so much it's a show i can't remember the title of it but the premise is there's an old british lady that helps you put on your wedding and you get like one wedding wish the groom gets a wedding wish and the bride gets a wedding wish like if things in the planning of the wedding go fucked up you can call her and go hey we need a cake or whatever and she's gonna go find a cake it is the most contrived like i saw five seconds of an episode and the guy called her and there was a shot of her answering the phone from across the street. So I'm like, so the camera

crew is just filming her doing her daily shit across the street? How much tape do they tape? Come on. What the fuck? They don't tape anything on tape anymore. Do they? Probably in Canada they still do. Yeah, probably.

There's so many wedding shows on. I hate them all. I actually hate them all. There was one that I kind of could watch for a while because it was like they would tell you what the budget was and at the end they would show you how much they blew the budget by. But then I got to the point where the women on the show, and it was almost always the women,

thought that it was cute to bankrupt themselves as a couple. They thought that was like, oh, it was worth it to go 15 grand over budget. And it's supposed to be cute. And I'm like, that's the underpinning of most divorces, is money arguments. And you're starting off on a colossally bad. And have you ever been to a wedding where you're like, oh, man, I hope they really spend a lot of money on this.

Why? Because it's so lavish or because the wedding isn't going to last? No, just because, you know, because that's important to you as a guest. Oh, yeah. Oh, you mean before you arrive, you're like, I hope they spent a lot of money. No, even after, you're like, you know, if they bankrupted themselves, it was worth it. Because I enjoyed myself. Oh, I see, yeah.

Like, everybody got their own masseuse. How about a show called Operation Backout? Where it's like, they do all this stuff, but the one party doesn't know that the other one's going to back out at the last second. And you just see them doing all this stuff for the wedding, and they're freaking out, and they're like, it all came together. And then at the last second, the bride or the groom is like, I'm backing out! And they say that, and there's a siren that goes off or something, and you're handed a check. It's crying. It's like Deal or No Deal.

It's kind of like a combination of Deal or No Deal slash one of those bride shows slash Cheaters. Will you go with the wedding or take $300,000 to run away? Oh, that's good.

Very good. Cold feet. It could be called cold feet. Yeah. Well, there's no reason we shouldn't be pitching this. What network? NBC. NBC is going to do it.

Oh, NBC will do it. I'm so desperate. Yeah, it's true. A minute to win it? I think they just promoted it and never put it on the air. I never saw it on TV. Well, they canceled our favorite show after two episodes or three episodes downfall

That was ABC Well this has been great It's been a real downfall of an episode Well we were in it to win it In a minute Paul if people want to find you online where should they check out

or do you have anything coming up in the near future you want to plug? Or both Yeah, you can find me at www.paulmeyerhog.com And Meyerhog spelled M-Y-R-E-H-A-U-G I should really change my last name actually What do you think of Paul Knox?

Like K-N-O-X? Yeah. Pretty good. Yeah. Yeah, not too bad. Although it is... But you're going to have to spell that, too. Yeah, you're going to have to spell it, too.

It's just four. Because people might think it's K-N-O-C-K-S. Oh, yeah. Right, right. Yeah. Anyway. Paul Knox Life. Paul Knox Life.

Yeah. But paulmyerhog.com. Something going on. I guess in November, I'm going to be in Vegas for two weeks. Oh, really? Yeah. I'm going to be in Vegas for two weeks. Oh, really? Yeah, I'm going to be in Vegas for two weeks. Do you know what? Two weeks?

Or do people just go to your website and find that out? You can go to the website and check it out. But there's a thing called the G2E, and that's going to be the 14th, 15th, and 16th in Las Vegas. And so if you can make that, come on out. What is it? It's the Global Gaming Expo, it's called. Oh, okay. Yeah, so it's at the Las Vegas Convention Center.

You want to know what's new in VLTs? This is the place to be. You want Bernie Mac to sell dominoes to Al Pacino in Ocean's 13? That's right, That's right. But it's, yeah, it's at the convention center, and they have a live show. But basically the booker, like casino bookers from around the world come and look at some acts.

So it'd be great if there was a nice friendly audience there to, yeah, yeah. Well, anybody who's from Las Vegas, I'm sure we do have listeners in Las Vegas. I met one of them. In Las Vegas? In Los Angeles. Nice. If you're in town, Paul Meyerhug

is a great, great guy to see on stage. And yeah, like you say, go find out what's new in the world of... You know, are they using felt in this year? What color felt? It's always going to be felt. Yeah, it's going to be green.

It's going to be red. Purple. Purple, I hear, is a comer. Maybe blue. Is seven still lucky? Dave, do you have... You still hit on 17. Yeah.

Yes, you always hit on 17. Always will, always have. Do you hit on 17? No. Oh, I thought you on 17. Yeah. You always hit on 17. Always will, always have. Do you hit on 17? No. Oh, I thought you meant 17-year-olds. Oh, yeah. Sure. In which case, I got it backwards.

You should never hit on 17-year-olds. Dave, I think this is the last episode that's going to be out before we're at Bumbershoot. Bumbershoot, Seattle. So if you want to come out, want to get a sticker, we've got an assload of stickers we've got to give away. It's going to be a really fun show. Hopefully, we're keeping our fingers crossed for a guest. Yeah, we are hoping that we have an Excelsior guest. Whoever, whatever guest we get, it's going to be great.

Yeah, it's going to be a lot of fun. Unless we don't get through the border. And hey, that's the way life goes. Yeah, what date is it? I'm opening up a calendar. September 5th? Is it September 5th? I've got the wrong calendar. Nope. Okay, sorry.

Yes, it is September 4th. September 4th. Saturday, September 4th, we will be at Bumbershoot. We're the first kind of show of the day. 1 o'clock or something. 1.15, I believe.

It's on BumperShoot.org. Yeah, come on by because we'd love to meet as many bumpers as possible and we'll hang around after the show and stickers. Like I say, we're going to give away stickers like this. And they're sweet stickers. They're sweet stickers. I got one on my car

right now. Dynamite. your body parts. And they're sweet stickers. Yeah. They're sweet stickers. Yeah, they're sweet stickers. I got one on my car right now. Dynamite. Delightful. And yeah, if you want to get in touch with us, it's Stock Podcasting Yourself at gmail.com or 206-339-8328. And the recap blog is available at MaximumFun.org. And you really should check it out because it's the greatest companion piece. Dave always manages to pick the best highlights of the show and create this blog out of it. And, yeah, if you like the show, please do spread it around.

Tell your friends and coworkers because we would love as many people as possible to while away the hours listening to our show. And come back next week for another scintillating episode. Stop podcasting yourself! you