Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 136 - AL Connors

Episode Date: October 19, 2010

Improviser AL Connors joins us to talk waterslides, the Yukon, and if Graham would make a good Big Brother.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 136 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and joining me as always is a man who's always been bad to the bone, Mr. Dave Shumka. Now, now, now, now, now, yeah. Right, guys?

Today I was born. Right. Yeah. That guy had a horrible stutter. We shouldn't make fun of him. George Th-Th-Thaware destroyers uh and our guest today on the podcast all the way from ottawa ontario canada the nation's capital a man who's an improviser who's an improviser in a group with past guest brad mcneil and is in town for the vancouver international improv festival mr al connors hello everybody how's it going al i'm having a great time in your

presently rainy city yeah well it was bound to happen at some point we were blessed with a lot of sunshine earlier so i'm not complaining we are all very blessed yeah and it's still warm out. It's not cold. Let's get to know us. Get to know us. Now, that cliffhanger, I'm sure people were just dying to know if it was warm or cold. Oh, yeah, it's warm. Okay. I find it warm. Anybody else? And this room, already a sauna.

Yeah, it's a little humid. It's been an ongoing theme on the show for the last many months of us complaining about the weather in Vancouver. It's very senior citizen. I'm sorry I brought it up. It's very phone call to your parents. Yeah, exactly. So, Al, have you been to Vancouver? I have. I was last in Vancouver just a couple of months ago.

I worked with the Canadian Improv Games and helped run the improv camp in British Columbia. Oh, yeah. Now, that is like it's an actual camp. People go out in the woods, right? Yeah, there's cabins and campfires. Well, there wasn't campfires this year because there was a fire ban in British Columbia. So you put a flashlight. Well, it was a pretty high-tech fake fire we rigged up with a smoke machine and these color-changing lights.

Really? Which started out in oranges and reds, like a real fire, and then as we got bored, we pushed the green button and the blue button. Had a psychedelic smoke fire. Fake fire. But you couldn't enjoy any wieners or s'mores. Oh, no. We roasted

nothing. Now, was there kind of band camp shenanigans going on well part of my job uh helping to run the camp is to ensure that such shenanigans don't happen oh is that right i was uh there's a you're the crusty counselor i believe the term coined uh many years ago at improv camp was mac patrol oh where uh late night mac patrol goes on and make sure all the boys stay on the boys side of camp and all the girls stay on the girls' side. Now, what is the significance of Mac?

Oh, Mac Makeup. Yeah, it's sponsored by Mac Makeup. Oh! And a percentage of Mac Makeup sales go to fund improv all around the world. Not a lot of people wear makeup at camp. Well, no, they wear their camp clothes. You'd be surprised what teenage girls bring to camp. Yeah, that's true.

Hairdryers, trying to plug them into trees. Hilarious. So what separated the boys' side and the girls' side? Was it a lake or just literally you were the man? Well, I actually was feeling a little under the weather at camp, so I didn't volunteer for any of the late-night Mac Patrol ships. I use that as my excuse to go to bed early and feel refreshed in the morning. But no, I think the main field was in between the two sides where all the cabins were.

So it was just a— And these are high school kids. Yeah, they're, you know— Hormones. Everywhere. Oh, yeah... Hormones. Everywhere. Oh, yeah. Hormones?

Pheromones? I'm sure there were bears on the perimeter of camp who were just waiting for... Who's on bear patrol? That's what we tell the campers. It's like, this is cougar and bear country. Don't wander outside your cabins. That means older ladies and gay men with bears. Which was enough to scare the high school kids. It sounds like that's probably a ton of fun, going out and camping.

It is. I mean, because I get to see all kinds of folks and improvisers from, like, the volunteers who work at the camp also come from across the country, just like the kids. So I get to see all kinds of people that I don't usually get to see or see only once or twice a year so yeah it's a it's a little bit of a camp for for us as well and we get to do uh you know we're teaching workshops during the day and then there's beach time and camp like activities and it's a it's like it's a pretty good formula we got a good thing going did you go to camp when like just regular camp when you were younger i never did i did day camps oh yeah like where it's just like all right mom and dad are going to work you go to this trailer in the park

and you'll make crafts yeah learn how to make a wallet everybody wears a teal t-shirt and i remember really hating uh day camp and i don't i don't remember why i just remember the the the hatred and not what caused it but look look at you. You're channeling into a positive effect in your adult life. I am. I'm being a role model as hard as I can. That's fantastic.

Dave, have you ever been a role model for anybody? What's happening up above us? In Bravkamp. It's moved indoors because of the rain. I don't believe that's coming through the microphones, but there is someone, someone is playing basketball with a medicine ball up there. Did I, what, huh?

Have you ever, like, this is the thing. A little while ago, I was talking to a friend of mine who has decided to become a big sister. And I feel like that's a thing that I don't do at all in my life. I, like, I don't have any contact with anybody younger, and I don't... Like a role model situation, do you know what I mean? You don't have nieces or nephews that are old enough. No, no, I have...

The oldest is three. You've never gotten together with Paul Rudd and John Rory Scott? That hasn't happened? No, but they were forced into it, legally, weren't they? Yes. Yeah, that would be the only reason I would do it.

Because I'm uncomfortable around other people's kids. So you'd be like an Emilio West Enders. Not that I have my own. In a Mighty Ducks situation. Yeah, Mighty Ducks situation. I'd drive my limo out onto a lake. What? What?

What kind of guy has a limo? What kind of a lawyer has a limo? A broke one, probably. A great one. Oh, a great one. Well, yeah. Right? I'm assuming he's spending all his money on limos, so he probably doesn't have a lot of money.

That's my guess. Oh, wait, wait, wait. Maybe he had the limo. I believe he was sentenced to be the kid's hockey coach because he was drunk driving. So maybe he... Oh. Which, that was role models, too, wasn't it? Drunk...

It was some sort of traffic offense. It was... They had an energy drink truck. Oh, yeah. But I don't think they were drunk. But, yeah, the... So, like, how many years have you done the improv camp? Is this the first year?

No, the camp has been around for nine years, and I've been at seven of the nine. Oh, so you're like an old hand. Seven of nine. Seven of nine. And some Star Trek. That's it for that one. Was that Jerry Hall? No, Jerry Halliwell.

Yeah, it was Jerry Halliwell. Jerry Halliwell. From the it was Jerry Halliwell. From the Spice Girls. Spice Trek. It was a... The Gingerborg. So, at the camp, after the kids are in the bunks and asleep, did the counselors get together and have crazy party? If by crazy party you mean plan the

next day's activities. You're such a square. Not crazy party. We definitely get giddy and make fun of the campers. Oh, really? That's great. Don't tell any campers.

What's the funniest nickname of any kid that you came up with? Not the kid's actual name. That's tough. It's hard to pick a name. I forget every kid's name the moment I leave camp. All those names just disappear. Wouldn't it be weird if... Because they won't forget you.

No, and I ran into having... Because a lot of kids from BC went to camp because camp was in BC this year. So I've been running into working at an improv festival right now. Yeah. Performing. Of course, a lot of those students are attending the festival. Wow.

And I remembered all their names right away. No, but it was – and at the UBC show also, some of the students at camp had just graduated high school so they were improvising at the UBC show that we did as one of the first nights of the festival. So I got to watch some of them perform that I taught just a month or so. Having an impact this guy. Yeah. Going out there in the world. Positive role model. Would you ever be a

big brother, Greg? I thought about it. I don't have a car so that makes any kind of like picking up the kid and going somewhere fun difficult. I would just have to meet him there makes any kind of like picking up the kid and going somewhere fun difficult i would just have to meet him there what what i'll just meet you at the place what do do you have to do something fun or do you have to do teach them life lessons do you know oh you mean like hard life lessons yeah like this is how life is unfair yeah maybe you don't teach them something fun maybe it's good that you don't have a car so you can take the bus. Yeah, and I can be like, this is what adult life is sometimes like.

Leave them in a really rough neighborhood. They get one lifeline. I'm the first one that gives him a smoke so that he knows how to smoke so it doesn't look like it's his first time. You know when people hold their hands too stiff? That's an important life skill. Yeah, like relax your body. Relax. Don't stick the cigarette in your mouth like it's a grenade pin.

Like, you know, relax. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Make love to it. I had to have somebody teach me. I was smoking in a play. I played in Ottawa, and I had to have somebody, like, spend an hour with me telling me. You had a smoking coach? in ottawa and i had to have somebody like spend an hour with me telling me how yeah how how i was smoking incorrectly and like point out all this all that's like the smokers don't do that no i

really like the idea of somebody whose career is as a smoking coach to the stars and has been doing that since like you know i helped a young robert redford learn how to smoke for the sting. Was he in the sting? You know what I love in Fight Club is Brad Pitt, when he's done a cigarette, he just chucks his cigarette down to the ground so hard and it makes a big spark. A spark. Yeah, that's one of the greatest things about smoking. That and when it's dark and you're in a camping situation, making circles in the sky with the cigarette, doing light ballet. making circles in the sky with the cigarette doing a light ballet yeah my wife's family has a term for for that phenomenon of light ballet and I thought

it was that she had just made it up on the spot because we went to a cottage and you know we were playing around trying to spell with like you know a camera with long exposure like obscene words with a stick on fire. And she calls it fincafeta. Whoa. And I thought that was just a word she'd made up on the spot. And then when I saw her sister in Edmonton, she was like, oh, fincafeta. Like they were looking through the photos and without missing a beat, it's like, oh, that's this thing, this secret word that we all made up.

And then her parents too, like everybody knew what this word was. And I totally, oh, that's this thing, this secret word that we all made up. And then her parents, too. Everybody knew what this word was. And I totally did not believe it. Think of Feta. I'm going to call it that from now on. Yeah. That's fantastic. I mean, although light ballet is pretty great.

But I'll just call fireworks that. That's a sure. Yeah. Yeah. It's because I've watched plays where actors, obviously, they have never smoked. Yeah, and a lot of times they just don't inhale and they just put the cigarette to their lips. Yeah, it takes me right out of the whole thing. If I see somebody who it's obvious they've never smoked before and they're playing a smoker,

it ruins the whole affair for me. The play I was in, since I was a smoker, I was determined to do it right because i'm hardcore like that yeah mad men and everyone and so my goal was every every entrance i make i wanted to enter like in a cloud of smoke so i'd be in the wings just like popping away as hard as i can so that when i'd enter this cloud would just kind of follow me uh in behind and i don't know that's probably equally unrealistic but but I thought it was cool. Yeah. I mean, who doesn't like to emerge from a cloud of smoke? I wish I could, yeah. That's usually how I try to disappear.

I'm fascinated with the Big Brothers and Big Sisters. When you were a kid, did you know anyone who had a Big Brother or Big Sister? No. I don't think I did. I mean, if I did, it wasn't a topic of conversation. The same way that I think if you go to the food bank, you don't walk around telling people that your sandwich came from the food bank. Am I wrong about that? Is the big brother's not kind of the food bank of siblings?

I hope my sandwich didn't come from the food bank, but maybe a can of something. Oh, right. Like somebody was giving you a pair of chabons. Just a sandwich in the food bank bin. Like a Subway sandwich that you just bought? You know what? I'm not going to eat the other half of this. This is going to the food bank.

There's a food bank commercial. I think it's maybe Victoria's Food Bank. And it's this old lady coming in, and they give her some food. And the guy behind the counter says, I just wish there were more. Yeah, sad. But it makes me feel good that the food bank isn't wasting any money on having good commercials. The weird thing about the food bank is that they're overwhelmed with help and supplies and stuff during Christmas. And then that's it. It's just like people, it falls off the radar and people just are like, it's a really weird thing that people in Western culture do is that they feel generous because of a time of year

and then it's like January 1st and it's just like fuck everybody else and everything. I gotta make my nut. Well, I mean because a lot of charities try and come out and grab some spotlight for, that doesn't

seem like a right term for it. Glory hogs. And in, I mean, in Ottawa anyway, I don't know if this exists here because the winter's different, but there's like the Snowsuit Foundation where it's like people donate old snowsuits to kids and stuff like that.

Or, yeah. What do we have here? We have the jackets. Yeah, maybe we have a jacket. I've given away some jackets. Probably with money in the pockets that I forgot to check. Sure. Or cigarettes.

It's all good. Joke ideas. Old pack of hauls. Yeah, the Big Brothers thing, I've kind of very peripherally looked into it. But I think I would... Take us through a day of what it would be like to be your little brother. Oh, I like this. Oh, that's... Take us through a day of what it would be like to be your little brother. Oh, uh... Oh, I like this.

Oh, that's interesting. So, this is like a weekend day we're talking about. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. So, I think to qualify for Big Brothers, you have to be a kid who's missing a father. Or, uh... I don't think the father necessarily... Like, if the father's kind of a loser dad, too, you know?

Like, he's just like... You know? Like, then you can have... Who signs that kid up for a big brother, though? If they have a loser dad. Well, a really's just like you know like then you can have who signs that kid up for a big brother though if well a really jerky father yeah okay yeah it's gotta be somebody better at doing this stuff um i yeah i don't i guess it's only kids with it yeah male role models yeah yeah like that movie male role Yeah, that kid had a dad. He had a stepdad who was a jerk. The Christopher Mintz-Plasse character had a father who wanted to encourage his kid to stop playing LARP.

LARPing. Right, right. Playing LARP. Yeah, the game of LARP. Yeah. Side note, the board game, the game of life. Yeah. Had a little spinner.

Yeah. I like that. Yeah, that was good. And you got to put a little family in a car. It's no pop-o-matic bubble, but it's good. Okay, back on topic. Take us through a day. Al is your little brother.

Okay. So now, in this scenario, do I have a car? And can I call you Daddy Graham? Yeah, you can call me whatever you want. Papa Graham? Papa Graham. Daddy? And I can call you Al, right?

Yes. No, you're you. You don't have a car. Okay, so this is just me as me. Yeah, maybe I get involved if you need a ride somewhere. Oh, okay. Yeah, okay. So you're Uncle Dave.

Yeah, I'm Uncle Dave. Well, answer me this. Is it rainy or sunny out? Use your imagination. This is all going to depend. Okay, it starts out sunny. Oh, it starts out sunny. It may rain unexpectedly.

Oh, boy. Okay, so I bring an umbrella first. Okay, big enough for two. Yeah, so I don't have a car, so I ask the mom, like, where do you live? And then she says, I'm not allowed to answer that question. And I go, okay. Can you, like, I'll meet the kid at, what's the kid's name again?

Al. Oh, yeah. I'm right here. All right. Papa Graham, come on. So I will, I'll meet Al Like a landmark Talk to me like I'm a real person

I'm on the phone with your mom You're not even here yet Hello Mrs. Al Miss Al, sorry, I think your husband's dead Yes Where can I meet little Al?

at a landmark does what area of the city do you live in? the old graveyard okay I'll meet Al in the graveyard yes any particular tombstone I should be looking for?

I assume my father's. Buy my father's tombstone. Okay. Yes. This is the worst. After a great start. Yeah. Okay, so I show up.

I take the bus, because a lot of the buses run to the graveyards. Yeah. And I assume I'm on the graveyard that's near Fraser Street. Yeah. Because that's the biggest one. And I go and I walk around and I find Little Al. Hi, Little Al. Hey, Graham.

How you doing? You know, my dad died. Recently, right? It looks like this is still dirt on the grave. Yeah. I just came to lay flowers, but I'm ready to take my mind off things. All right. Well, do you have any money for the bus?

Oh, I didn't know I was supposed to bring money. Okay. No, I got us covered. Okay. I was just wondering, so what do you like to do? Do you like going to the mall or do you like museums or do you want to go, do you want to do something outside? I like sports.

Okay. What, any particular? I'm a hockey fan. Oh, well, I know a guy who works for the Vancouver Canucks. Or, if they're not playing, our local team, the Giants. And I can swing us some tickets if they're playing today. And if not today, the next time that we meet, which I assume will be in a week or so. It's a once a week gig, right? I'm pretty sure.

Yeah, that'd be really cool, Papa Graham. I'm doing pretty well with this. How do you feel about ice cream? Oh man, don't get me started. I love ice cream. And then we go have ice cream. Okay, pretty good. That's not bad, right? So far. So you made an empty promise, and then you took it for ice cream. I've got to really try and see if I can

find some hockey tickets now. And yeah then you took him for ice cream. I've got to really try and see if I can find some hockey tickets now. And yeah, I take him for ice cream. And then, I don't know. Isn't that it? That's pretty much it, right? That's pretty much it, yeah. We could make an afternoon of that. Yeah.

Right? And then make him walk home, because that ice cream is pretty filling. Yeah, you've got to walk off. I think it is. I think you go once a week. You meet up with the kid. But I think they try to match you based. Like they're not going to give a nerd weakling like myself a super jocko kid.

Maybe they need to whip you into shape. Yeah, well, somebody's got to. If it isn't this kid that I'm trying to help out, then who will? I mean, we both will learn valuable life lessons through our odd couple interactions, is how this works. It's Big Brother Boot Camp. I'm going to get in shape, and you're going to learn about science. I guess I'm good at science, because I'm a nerd.

Science is fun. I don't think I really have done much volunteer work. I remember I once... I haven't done enough. I feel like I'm really have done much volunteer work I remember I once I haven't done enough I feel like I'm really not giving anything back Yeah but you're not taking too much That's true Taking up a little space Yeah

I'm taking up whoever's time is listening to this I remember I once tried to go to the SPCA And see if they needed dog walkers. It was a really involved process. I was like, never mind. You're on your own. I just wanted to walk a dog now. Would you be one of those people

who has an entire army of dogs on a whole variety of leashes behind you? I think that's a professional. I think you need to be a professional for that. I think you'd take out one, maybe two at the SPCA. Depending on the size, I imagine. The name Army of Dogs is a movie.

Oh, yeah? Yeah. Army of Dogs? Doesn't that not sound like something you would say? Yeah, like Hotel for Dogs. Except it's about war, the hell of war. Sure. As told with dogs.

It's kind of like Platoon, but with dogs. From a dog's perspective, yeah. Would they be dogs. It's kind of like Platoon, but with dogs. Yeah, but from a dog's perspective. Yeah. Would they be fighting cats? I guess that maybe is a little on the nose. That's that Cats and Dogs movie. Yeah. That movie exists.

So it would be one type of dog fighting Weimaraners, because they're German. Yeah, German Shepherds versus French Poodles. And the English Bulldogs. The Poodles surrender. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, that's some good stuff dave what's going on with you um it's been a couple weeks since we all recorded the three of us

uh and uh i i would say the biggest thing that happened is a couple weeks ago you and i went to white horse yukon territory that's right wow this is a very Canadian episode. Yeah, we went way up north and we did. Is it the farthest north you've ever been? Yes. I think it is for me as well. I've been to Stockholm. Is that further north? I don't know. I don't know. But we arrived and it was snowing. Yeah. Appropriately. In September. Yeah, but people said that it was actually cold for that time of year? I don't know. People said a lot of stuff when we asked the questions up there. But we were doing a show

called The Debaters, and Dave was so funny on it. Graham was the best. You guys gotta tune in for that. I believe both those statements. But we went and we stayed in a place. I think it was a Best Western. Yeah.

It was called the Gold Rush Inn. Oh, man. Those people have not gotten over that gold rush. Yeah. They're very in love with the whole, there's still like stencils of a cartoon prospector on the window. Oh, man. That was the life. Yeah.

prospector on the window. Oh man, that was the life. Yeah, but that only lasted because I had to do research for the debate that I was doing and one of the things I found out for some reason I thought that it was like this huge time but it was only two years

that that gold rush was happening and then the gold was gone and then that was it. Why did they bother setting up a town there oh because there was a thousand it was a big rush like a lot like the rush made up for in span uh yeah in volume this is not a rush hour this is a golden rush sure um but yeah it was only two years and then then most of the people that came there specifically to prospect left. Well, it's like, how can they?

This was in the 1800s, I'm imagining. At the very end of the 1800s. So like around the time that There Will Be Blood is set. Yes, sure. That was more of an oil rush. I know, but I associate now those images with. Because you're trying to picture what type of hats are they wearing. Yeah, and how greedy they are.

I'm thinking a bit more of a Back to the Future 3. Oh, okay. Okay, yeah, yeah. I like that. Same time period. Yeah. But the technology was... Where's that crossover movie?

There will be a future? How could they have known? Or is it back to the blood? How could they have known that they were all out of gold? Like, they didn't have metal detectors. They didn't have whatever technology they used to mine for gold these days. Their peepers were their metal detectors. Yeah.

They saw no more gold. They saw no evil, et cetera. But they, it's like. I don't know. I don't know the answer to this question. I feel like we could probably make a killing now if we. You think there's a lot of unfound gold? Yeah.

In that area? It's possible. Yeah, I don't. It's weird. I suddenly knew more stuff about the Yukon's history than, like, I never knew anything about it. That anyone needed. Yeah. But Dawson used to be the capital city, and then it moved to Whitehorse sometime after that.

And that's where we were, like, right in downtown, right in the main street. And it's one of those things, like, when you're a Canadian child, you only need to learn, I guess, 13 capitals. In my day, it was 12. Yeah. Iqaluit. Iqaluit? Is that the new one? But you just assume that they're all actual places.

But no, this is a tiny, tiny town. Yeah, and it really had that feel of northern exposure. Like it was... Okay. Have you ever been that far north? No, I had the opportunity once, and I had to turn it down because I had already committed to something else. And I've regretted it ever since. Oh, really?

Because I work for a Shakespeare company in Ottawa, and we were invited to perform at this festival up north. And we flew, like, I say we like I was there. But yeah, like went straight north and spent a night in Iqaluit, and then they headed west to the Yukon. Wow. Yeah, and it sounds like it was a fantastic experience that I wish I was there for. So you guys are kind of rubbing it in right now oh sorry we really don't well dave's gonna run yeah it was a really fantastic experience i'll leave the rubbing in today oh man um but uh yeah graham and i there was a comedy

show one night yep and uh first night we were there the first night we were there and we weren't on it no we went with eight comedians. Was it like locals only? Like a local show? There was a couple of the people who had come up with us that had contacted whoever ran the show early and said, can we have spots? We weren't amongst that group. But we went and ate Caribbean food. Because when in the north, you must try. And it was good. I believe there's

two or maybe three Caribbean people in the Yukon. I thought you were going to say places. No, there's two. There's two places. Yeah, Caribbean places in the Yukon. I don't even know if there... Is there one in Vancouver? Oh, there's a few. What were you thinking?

Do we have more than the Yukon? Yes, we do. Okay. Yeah, and then we went to this comedy show and got so lost. Yeah. So lost. In a tiny town. But everything is like, no building is more than two stories, except the hotel was four.

Yeah, and it's like flat rate cab ride too isn't it oh we didn't take no cab no yeah i didn't see a cab the whole time i was there um but we just walked around and looked for this place which had a when we finally found it it had a black sign yeah there was no lights on the front of it or you had and the weird thing was and i've had this experience numerous times in small towns you you ask somebody where something is, and if you ask more than one person, you get several different, confusingly different sets of directions. And so that's what we did. We asked, I don't know, six, seven people. And every time they said it was this way or that way, depending on if we had passed it or if we hadn't uh dave stepped in a hilariously large puddle as did charlie demers who was with us yeah

and then i was afraid i was gonna lose my foot yeah yeah because it was cool oh yeah and we were afraid of bears because because the they're all the garbage cans were locked because they had like bear locks okay yeah well Well, that's here. Like, I went to Cypress Mountain. Yeah, but that's a mountain. We were in downtown. Yeah. We were, yeah.

And a lot of the stores had pun names. There was Aroma Borealis right across the street from the hotel. And then there was the northern hemposphere which was a head shop wow okay yeah so and then we found the place and we stayed there for and there was all sorts of kids like young people there and i don't know like a cool cool group of young people everybody that i saw there sound normal um a cool group of youngsters Everybody I talked to up there was really cool It seems like it's like this artist You know

There's a lot of people there that are Bureaucrats It seems like it's a cool place to live Yeah Cool bureaucrats But yeah We spent a lot of time in the bar In the Gold Rush Inn

Which it seemed like it was one of the social Right Hotel bars for sure But yeah, it's, you know, and we spent a lot of time in the bar in the Gold Rush Inn, which it seemed like it was one of the social... Right. High... Hotel bars, for sure. For sure. Yeah. That's where it's at.

That is where it's at, right? Yeah. But the... Everything there is very expensive because it's so far away. Not drinks. Drinks were cheap. They weren't that cheap. Well, maybe...

After you have a few, everything's cheap, right? The whole world's your oyster. There were like $6.25 for a beer. cheap they weren't that cheap well maybe after you have a few everything's cheap right the whole world's your oyster um they were like 6 6 25 for a beer i think that's why the gold rush ended we can't get no hops up here um but yeah yeah and then but i had to leave because i've been working on a thing so i had to leave early. Yeah. And everybody else in the group, this is my, you know, Connor's moment where I had to not participate in a thing. Everybody else went dog sledding. They all met sled dogs.

And I had to go early. And the day that I was there, I couldn't go. I wouldn't have been able to go anyways. They're allergic to everything. People went on two days. I went the second day and it was... How was it? Let me tell you.

Yeah, please. You would have hated it. Because the room... Okay, we... Oh, God. I'm not even interrupting. I'm going to back up and I'm going to say now I have conflicted feelings about that being referred to as an al connor's moment because now i'm worried that that's gonna catch oh yeah it'd be like if you miss out on something cool it's like oh man don't don't be an al connor's come to this thing

don't miss out you'll regret it for the rest of your life it's different if it's an al connor's moment or if somebody's putting you down and calling you an alcon yeah i wasn't going for that yeah don't be an alconers that guy's the worst so we uh the guy picks us up to uh the we went with eight comedians um most of them past guests of the show yeah uh you're jane stanton's you're charlie demers's you're ivan decker right you're darcy michaels Darcy Michaels Simon King sure a few more yeah so I went with Darcy Jane and Simon and the guy picks us up at the hotel

and he's like oh just I need to make a quick stop on the way to the dog sledding place I need to drop off 500 pounds of chicken and so he's got 500 pounds of frozen ground chicken in the back of his van.

Now, I can't picture how big 500 pounds of chicken is. It's like... Like, how big of a chicken, if it was one chicken? It would be like... Like a Yokozuna chicken. He's probably 500 pounds yeah i would say okay sure yeah so if yokozuna was a chicken yokozuna the world famous wrestler yeah or any

sumo wrestler yeah maybe possibly um uh kamala oh kamala papa shango papa shango is not that bad no um anyway the big show so but they were all in like like plastic containers like boxes like recycling boxes full of chicken and the guy told us a story

about a time a 2000 pound pallet of chicken fell on him and he woke up in the hospital wow no uh yeah no it's awful but you know what's crazy is when i worked at the stampede i had a thousand pound pallet of beef fall on me oh wow is that why you became a veg-o-tarian no no i like i somehow thought that the beef was coming back as vengeance. You're a venjo-dairy. I hurt my leg severely.

But yeah, I would have had a lot in common with this guy. Meat crushing. Yeah. So then he takes us to his ranch, do you want to call it? I don't know, a cabin on an acreage. Sure. And there were an acreage. Sure. And there were 135 dogs outside. Wow.

And they were all, none were purebred. They were all like mixes of shepherds and huskies. Was there a shepherd wiener dog? There were no small dogs in the mix. But they're all chained to a post. And it seems kind of like, you're like, oh, I don't like the looks of this. But I guess it's like they're working dogs. Yeah.

And they're used to it. And so we had to go into this room where none of us knew what was going on. Because the group that went before. Like you were afraid you were going to be fed to the dogs? No, we didn't have a bad feeling. But the group the day before, they went for free. And we were like, is this for free? What's this going to cost us?

And so we go into this room and this is where you would have died because it was just a room. There were like three or four dogs lying on the ground, retired dogs, and one of them had vertigo. That's okay for a dog. Yeah, it's okay. Except that his head was kind of tilted the whole time. Aw. It was really cute.

And so they... Just looked like he was inquisitive. Yeah. And so they... Just looked like he was inquisitive. Yeah. They gave us all jackets and snow pants, and that's like you would have died. Yeah, there's no way. They're covered in dog hair.

I'm super allergic to everything in the world. All right. Except spite. And the whole dog area kind of stunk a bit too but like you're just like i guess that's just how it is here yeah yeah yeah um and so uh you go out and you go pet the dogs and they're all muddy because it's all muddy and uh but they're uh they're happy and they're nice and they're friendly and then one dog starts barking and then they all start barking

and then the person taking you on the dog sledding trip The musher? The musher, yeah sure. Is that right? Is that what they're called? Yeah, I guess I mean, I'm not going to argue I just made that up. Yeah, the musher

Someone called, like, the first day we arrived, Steve Patterson, I believe, said, you guys want to go dog mushing tomorrow. Yeah. But then somebody told me, contrary to that, that you don't say mush to a dog. No. Never. Because they'll attack. Yeah. That's their N-word.

Yeah. Exactly. Because they'll attack. Yeah. That's their N-word. Yeah. Exactly. But you don't... When you associate the word mush with whipping them.

Yeah. You don't whip them anymore. Oh, really? But apparently mush comes from the French word marche, which means to walk. Ah. Anyway. I'm learning a lot. I don't know about you, Adam.

So the French invented dog sledding? Sort of, yeah. Okay. Anyway. I'm learning a lot. I don't know about you, Al. So the French invented dog sledding? Sort of, yeah. Okay. They invented the chapeau. I had nothing there, so I just said a French word. What did you say? Chapeau. Oh, the tat.

Yeah. Anyway, this isn't much of a story. Thank you. That's exactly what I was looking for. Then they picked a bunch of dogs And they put them on a rope They made them tug of war This special rope

That has eight attachments for a dog Or twelve I don't know how many there were This story is going on way too long I'm going to wrap it up But there wasn't quite enough snow To go dog sledding So they attached them to atvs simon and i sat on the back of an atv while this dog musher kind of drove it but like

like he would kept it low yeah help the dogs uh go up the hill but uh hill, but just on a flat place, the dogs would do all the pulling. Wow. Okay. Yeah. And then we went in and we had lunch, and the guy gave us a talk about, he showed us a video about this thing that's like the Iditarod, but it's in the Yukon. Well, it was for lunch. Chicken, I'm imagining.

No, it was soup. It was soup. Chicken soup? It was probably chicken and something. It wasn it was soup it was soup chicken soup uh there was probably chicken in something it was it was it wasn't bad it was forgettable um but the uh he kept like we had to get back to town for our flight and he kept going on and on about this race and he wouldn't just let us watch the video he kept pausing and talking to us and we were like okay we gotta go uh and but we've got to go. But we wanted to be super polite because we thought it was free.

Oh, but it was not. It was not. How much? It was $45. That's pretty good, right? That's a day at the water park. I have no idea. I don't know. Is that $45?

You should learn that before your big brother. Yeah, that's true. Hey, that would be my... Because that was the thing I was wondering a while ago is like, how old is too old to be going to a water park if you're not accompanied by either a kid or a woman? Not that I wanted to go to a water park by myself, but I was just curious, like, what's the creepy cutoff there? And I think it's pretty young. Yeah, I went when I was like 20 and I felt old. It's pretty gross, right? Yeah. But if I had a little brother, it's all good, right? We can go water parking all day long. Heck yeah.

Because those slides are still fun. That's the thing. I want to go on one of those slides. I enjoyed tattoo spotting in line. Just looking at all the stupid tattoos people had. What's the dumbest one you've seen? And also just, I assume, learning names. Because there were a lot of names I saw.

There were some crazy hybrids of... When did you go? They opened this brand new water park just outside of Ottawa. That's the talk of the town. It's called Calypso. The mayor was there. He did the first slide. It's making the existing water parks around town just like shit their pants.

Because this water park is getting all the attention in the world. So you can go to these other water parks for like dirt cheap because. Oh, really? Because. This is like a water park war. Yeah, absolutely. But the thing that's strange about this water park, because I mean, I'm no connoisseur, strange about this water park because i i mean i'm no connoisseur but i've been to a couple of water parks is uh most of the slides are uh you can't ride alone they're all inner tube slides

where you have to ride with at least one friend which is again why you need to bring someone sure sure and uh if not uh four or five or eight like they're only they're only i think two slides out of the 24 or whatever there that you could ride that were single occupant slides, which I was not expecting. You needed to be in the carpool lane. Yeah. So if you're there with an odd number of people, if you're there with like three or whatever friends, one of you is going to ride with a stranger. Oh, yeah. Oh, no thanks.

Yeah, like ski lifts. Yeah. Only way more intimate because you're in a ride with a stranger oh yeah oh no thanks yeah like uh um ski lifts yeah only way more intimate because you're in a bathing suit and you're like straddling each other down a wet and wild ride here's a question where ottawa has three water parks at least two uh like there's one because uh just north you know in que Quebec there are a couple of ski hills And near one of them I'm forgetting the name of it now I've named the brand of the The new

The dominant one Calypso I don't know Vancouver has one right? Yeah and Calgary has Where I grew up had one for years but it would like because the winters were so cold it affected the plastic or whatever so a lot of the like slides would break and have to be repaired in the summer and so it just closed i never thought

about bonsai water slide is what it was called really, that's a tree that you slowly trim. That's something you yell, though, isn't it? Oh, okay. Oh, yeah. That's something you yell while you're doing something awesome. But also, if it had been called Cowabunga waterslide, it would have been the greatest place until the end of that phrase. Now what would that be? What's the popular yeah what do

people yell oh justin bieber yeah um so forever so like we're like just people were just going to calypso because it was the greatest they had to uh the off ramp on the highway where this slide was they had to post cops cops because traffic would get – so it would get backed up from the water park over the overpass and like it would fill the on-ramp and it was starting to spill into like the highway. Oh, my god. So they have – This is the greatest. So I'm sure these cops hated this.

And if you're like a city planning engineer and someone says they're building water slides, you're like, so? Yeah. Why are you telling me this? I don't need to build more highways. So, yeah. So there was no – and I'm sure there will be a street light there now. But it was just a stop sign at the end of this off-ramp. ramp so they had to have a cop like just holding up the the through traffic over the bridge just to get the clear all the cars off of this on ramp because it was literally like clogging the highway

i bet you that duty is the duty you get busted down oh police like if you've done something bad they're like i'm gonna bust you down to water slide traffic calyp a Calypso duty. You get the Calypso shift. Oh, man. I want to go to Calypso so bad. I hear great things. Yeah. If you're a fat dude and you wear a shirt while you're swimming. It doesn't fool anybody.

But going to the water slides has got to be the worst because you get slowed down so much, I imagine. Yeah. Oh, you mean on the slide? Yeah. But in Calypso, I'm saying the word Calypso so many times. Wait a minute, why are you wearing a Calypso t-shirt? I got five dollars every time I say it.

Because all the slides are tube slides, your body doesn't come in contact with the slide that much, so you can wear a tuxedo and it wouldn't matter. Well, would that be any less creepy? If you showed up in a tuxedo. I don't know why a tuxedo came to mind. I like the tube rides.

I think I've only done a couple, though, in my life. Yeah, I had one. I went on one. I can't remember where. I think it was in Montana or something. And I think this happens a lot with tube slides where there becomes a backlog, where something happens, and then you're just with, like, 18 dudes. 18 tubes? Yeah, and you're just sitting on these tubes and then like it's just nothing to like there's no magazines there's

nothing to do except stare at tattoos yeah yeah exactly so you just gotta sit there for 20 minutes just like oh this is awkward um yeah i but uh i haven't been to a water park since ever. I want to get back into it. I know you don't. Yeah, you're right, I don't. Well, I want to go, and then I want to regret it the second I walk in. Yeah. Go, why am I wearing this T-shirt?

When I went when I was 20, I just remember the only thing was I forgot the rule where you have to wait for the person to tell you to go. So I was like, I think I'm good to go. This person's ignoring me, this lifeguard. And nothing bad happened from that. But I also remember that it was kind of built for kids. So when I got out of the slide and landed in the pool, I slammed my heel into the bottom of the pool. It's like textured, awful finish on the bottom of the pool. It's like textured, like awful finish on the bottom of the pool. And I didn't want to cry in front of a bunch of kids.

Yeah, that's right. Last thing I'm going to say about this water park. Which we will see. Which water park? I think the other one is part of Mount Cascade. I don't know. I'm a grass man. That's French for Mount Cascade. I don't know. I'm a grass man. That's French for Mount Cascade. But you could

you know, because they want you to buy food and drinks and all that stuff at the park, but you usually don't carry a wallet around with you. So they could scan your thumb and create an account and you could give them like 20 bucks cash

or whatever so that you could go buy food with your thumbprint and not have to like go to your locker or have somebody holding your stuff. I thought that was pretty genius. That is. Calypso is a hell of a water park. Yeah.

That is, that's a minority report. And it freaks some people out because they're like, I don't want this water park to have my thumbprint and have, it's like, well, it doesn't have access to anything. It has access to the $20 you gave them. Yeah. I don't want them to have my thumbprint, but I'll allow them to have as much of my urine as I choose.

Oh, man. That's not going to be top. Let's move on to Overheard. Overheard. Gimme, gimme. So what did you start with? Fatty, fatty, two by four. What's the rest of that?

Oh, fatty, fatty, two by four. Couldn't fit through the bathroom door. That's all there is to that one. That's all there is to that? That I am not familiar with. You're not familiar with fatty, fatty, two by four? No, hell no. I guess that would be two feet tall, four feet wide.

Is that right? Two by four? Two feet tall. I guess so, yeah. But you know Gimme Gimme Never Gets. Yeah, don't you know your manners yet? All you get is cigarettes. And then how does yours end?

That's it. Oh, you just say Gimme Gimme Never Gets, all you get is cigarettes? Yeah. Which is fine if you're a smoker. Yeah, exactly. If you say Gimme Cigarettes, you're like, store it. What about ink pink do you stink riding on a horse's dink?

That one I learned as an adult. I didn't know that one as a kid. Nope, never heard it. What's the practical use of that one? You are riding on a horse's dink. I always imagined you were upside down holding on

with your legs wrapped around each other. Some sort of harness. No, it's just a horse's dink. You're not that far off the ground. Your legs couldn't wrap around a horse from the underside, I don't think. No, a horse's dink, though. Yeah, like you're just riding it on the dink. Yeah, it's erect, I imagine.

Jostling here and there. All right. Go on. No,ling here and there. Go on. No, that's all there is. It's like Fatty Fatty 2x4. Just two lines. Although that one might be related to

not because you're dirty, not because you're clean, just because you kissed a girl behind a magazine. Well, there was... I know Halloween had trick-or-treat smell my feet give me something good to eat not too big not too small just the size of montreal if you don't i don't care oh i don't know more of this i'll something your underwear what pull down your i'll pull down your underwear is that it i don't know that last chunk. I just knew just as big as Montreal.

This is really... This is deep stuff. Yeah. What are these? Schoolyard rhymes? Yeah. If anybody out there knows any schoolyard rhymes, you can send them to...

There's more that we've forgotten. Yeah, stoppodcastyourself at gmail.com. I'm trying to remember more. I remember ones that were personal ones. I only remember the racist ones. Oh, there were racist ones? I didn't know any racist ones. Yeah, we didn't have very

many racists. I remember I made fun of a guy named Michael by calling him Michael Michael Motorcycle. Yeah. Turned the key and he goes P. That's how we finished that one. Did I ever talk about when my brother made up the uh different lyrics for that phil collins song no uh or might have been genesis invisible touch right i guess i had had a problem getting it into the toilet. And my brother would sing, David has an invisible penis. He can't control it.

He pees all over the place. You must have hated it so much. Wow. I love it now. Yeah, it's great. Got a talented brother. Yeah, he was the Weird Al of his time, the 80s. Okay, over. For realsies.

For realsies. Segment that always appears here on Stop Podcasting Yourself. And we always like to start with the guest, and you've heard the show before. You know how this goes. Oh, yeah. And I assume you've got one. You've got a Cracker Jack one to start us off. Oh, I've got one you've got a cracker jack oh i've got i've got one and it was one of those it was definitely when it happened it's like oh that's

textbook overheard how's it how are you coming with the textbook by the way oh uh it'll be in stores for next year's fall semester um I'm a theater guy in Ottawa, and I'm trying to go and see more shows because I'm one of those dicks who, why don't people come and see my shows that I just don't go and see? No, no, no, see a show, yeah. So I was seeing a production of The Scottish Play.

You can say it here. We're not in a theater. Macbeth. Yeah, say it. You can say it in a theater're not in a theater. Macbeth. Yeah, say it. You can say it in a theater. Those people are just crazy. And it was an outdoor production in Prescott, which is about an hour away from Ottawa, and it's part of the St. Lawrence Shakespeare Festival,

which has really grown in the last couple of years. Big plugs here. Yeah, you know. Whatever, local. You make a right just before, what was it, Fandango? Letters to Cleo? Calypso. Calypso.

And some friends of mine were in it. And it starts, the weird thing about the show is that it's still daylight out when it starts. So it's this dark, like, you know, the speech, is this a dagger I see before me where the guy's about to go kill the king? But it's still kind of daylight out, so the mood was a little weird. And it's outdoors, and just behind some trees, there's the parking lot where everybody just pulls up, and it's right on the St. Lawrence River.

And in the parking lot, you can hear a mom and her kid just shouting it out. And you can only hear the mom side of the conversation you can't hear what the kid's doing um and it's like you know mcbeth is alone on stage uh contemplating you know murder it's just like quiet deep moment and all you hear is no no i'm gonna count to three i'm no, bad boys don't get juice. This is like shouting match about juice. And like the whole audience had to have been able to hear it.

I'm like, why aren't people, everybody was too polite to like, you know, just like, I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that. But yeah, that kid was bad, apparently. Oh, bad boys. What you going to pretend I didn't hear that. That kid was bad, apparently. Bad boys. What are you going to do? A Scottish play that has juice involved. Wow. Bad boys don't get juice. Although in the movie Bad Boys... This juice just got real.

That's Boys in the Hood. Oh, you're thinking of the movie Juice. Dave, do you have an overheard? Yeah, I do This one is from Whitehorse International Airport And it is international Apparently in the summer They have twice weekly flights to Frankfurt

Yeah, Germany is This is a fact I dug up for the debaters Germany is crazy about the Yukon. And German tourists, yeah, they love the frontier thing. Okay. And Dawson City has kept its frontier buildings basically intact and has, you know, kind of remade them and kept them standing. So it does look like an old west town. Cool.

kind of remade them and kept them standing. So it does look like an old West town. Cool. And yeah, they come and they're so popular in Germany at their new zoo in Hanover. They designed an enclosure to look like the Yukon, like with buildings and old steamboats and stuff, except that they put penguins.

Okay. Yeah. And there's no penguins. So it was supposed to feature all Yukon-type animals plus penguins. Everybody loves penguins. The guy who was telling us about the dog sledding race said that you're allowed to kill a moose on the trail.

Oh, really? You're allowed to bring a gunose on the trail. Oh, really? You're allowed to bring a gun because a moose is more dangerous than a bear. Oh. Moose kill more people than bears. I think they're faster than bears. Yeah, and ferocious. Yeah, and they pull a thing out of the hat.

Bowinkle. I don't know my own strength. Et cetera. You know who did a great bowinkle is comedian Dave Coulier. Yeah. Comedian Joey Glanstone. Canada's own Joey Glanstone.

He's not Canadian. He just wore a hockey jersey. Well, I lied. Okay. This was while going through security. A woman had taken off her watch and she was picking it up on the other side. It had gone through the x-ray machine because she realized that it set off the machine

every time she went through it. And she said, as long as I take my watch off, it doesn't beep. For whatever reason, my watch makes it beep every time. She doesn't realize that it's a metal detector. That airport had a thing.

Was there a bar in it that you could go? Yeah, we went to a restaurant that served drinks. I hate to see an airport without a bar. But this was a tiny airport. It is tiny. Like coin-operated internet. Oh, I love it. So then when it's up, it tells you time's up and it kicks you off the internet?

Well, yeah. You get a computer for however long. You can't even use your own computer. Like a countdown timer. No one used it because we had spent the entire time on the internet because there's really not much to do. The entire time on the internet, because there's really not much to do. Mine is not an overheard so much as a bizarre confluence of characteristics in an overseen. I saw, this was last week, I was walking down the street towards my house,

and I saw a gentleman, as he was walking uh flossing his teeth on the street like he was headed somewhere and i thought oh that is fucking that is bizarre but uh then it hit another level bizarre to do and he just went to a corn of the cob eating competition yeah um do you be honest guys okay yeah how often do you floss uh every night exactly zero times yeah i mute. Exactly zero times in your life? Not in my life, but it's been years. It's been years since you've flossed? Yeah. I'm blown away. How often for you?

The same? I regret it. Like, I know I should. No, I floss. Well, I have these little things. They're like little brushes that you can put in between your teeth. A toothbrush. No, no, no. brushes that you can put in between your teeth a toothbrush uh no no no yes i've heard of those i do that no they're little uh they fit in between your teeth and you can use one uh for uh your whole set of chompers yeah but i don't do that very often but i uh and they don't actually work that well like if you have corn in your teeth or something.

Is it like one of those little things that looks like a violin bow? No, no, no. Not the little sword. Oh, it's like a little tiny Christmas tree. Is that what it is? Yeah, it's like a little tiny Christmas tree. I'm the only one here that flosses every night. When I had braces as a kid, I remember this.

Do you guys think that flossing is a scam or something? No. No, I believe I have crappy gums. I know it. But you still don't get on board? No. I'm always in a hurry to go to bed. Yeah.

I stay up as late as I can, and it's like, I'm so tired right now. I'm just like, brush, bed. I'm the same way. I'm like, okay, I want to be in bed by 11, and then at 11, I'm like, okay, I want to be in bed by 11. And then at 11, I'm like, okay, I should start getting ready for bed. Start making tomorrow's coffee. Yeah. Well, guys, I floss during my conference calls.

While walking down the street. Yeah, exactly. When I'm doing my laundry. Because that little boy was me. Ink pink, Graham. boy was me. Ink pink Graham. This, and we also, we have overheards that have been submitted by

listeners. If you have an overheard you would like to share, it is stoppodcastingyourself at gmail.com and our first one comes from Daniel G. Daniel G. Danny G. Danny G. I was recently at a chain restaurant

that has a bunch of shit hanging from the walls. I like that. I don't think he means from the walls. I think he means attached to the walls. Not just like a slinky dangling down. Or just shit hanging from the walls. There was an odd looking

family that was sitting somewhat close to me and I heard this gem. Muscly redneck son. So do they even explain the time travel? Mousy-looking mom. Yeah, Harry Potter is pretty good at explaining that shit. I don't, was there time travel in Harry Potter? No, I wonder if she means the actor who plays Harry Potter in Equus.

Equus. the actor who plays Harry Potter in Equus. Oh man, I hope I don't have a muscly redneck son. I hope I do. Help around the house. Whip you into shape. Yeah, exactly. What I want is a kid to whip me into shape.

You could be a big brother to a muscly redneck. I'll be a big brother to you.cly redneck. He'll be a big brother to you. Yeah. Sing a song about your invisible penis. This next one also was the last one from somebody named Kevin? No, it was Danny G. Oh, Danny G. This is from a guy named Kevin.

Hey, guys, and probable guest. Correct. Hey, he remembers uh i was visiting vancouver at the end of the summer and was walking down main street on a beautiful afternoon and suddenly heard a familiar voice that i couldn't quite place there was a guy and a girl walking behind me in conversation and the guy's voice was very familiar but i couldn't really place it at all finally after a block of two walking with an earshot uh and half eavesdropping it hit me he sounds just like graham clark i started listening to the podcast over the summer and this was the first day i'd been back in vancouver and since i started listening so i thought this

was one of the funniest coincidences i wasn't't totally sure it was Graham since this guy was much beardier than I remember Graham being in the photos on the website. Well, good chance it was me. And I guess I turned off Main Street before he had a chance to say hello. And then actually has an overheard from later that day. Also, I didn't get an overheard from Graham. And I'm full of them i say dumb shit all the time at the top of your lungs exactly uh but earlier that day while getting off the c bus i overheard a little voice say that's why asian people are so smart they have

two children so that if the first one screws up, they have another one as a backup. Fact. Yeah. Except in China, where they're only allowed one. Is that still going? The one... I don't even know if it was ever going. An elaborate conspiracy of some kind? To Westerners? To mask their numbers?

Yeah, but it seems to me like they've done an awful job of it. And there's billions of them. Yes. Well, I heard that the whole one-child policy was based on quack science, that it didn't actually have a positive effect on population control. Yeah, because everybody wanted a boy, right? Well, everybody wanted a boy, right? So that's, I mean, I can just picture if that were to succeed as a policy, how disastrous that would become. Ironically, pandas rarely mate.

Yeah, they are a, man, oh man, they're trying to keep those pandas alive, but it's like they don't want to. But why? What have pandas done for us? Besides provide... Adorability? A vehicle for Jack Black's voice talent. They taught us about Kung Fu and adorability. Yep. And stuff to do with bamboo.

Yeah. They taught me about bamboo and its many uses outside of a stick that you hit people with. It's edible. I didn't know that. Would you have known that? I would not have taken that guess. Yeah, but I still wouldn't eat it. On a dare? No, I would use it as flooring. Oh, I like that. What about flossing? Would you floss with

bamboo? When I was a kid we had bamboo in our backyard. We had a big bamboo bush. You grew up in China, though. Yes, yes, I did. Raised by pandas. We had a big bamboo bush. You grew up in China, though. Yes, yes, I did. Raised by pandas. I am a panda. Oh, brother. Our last one comes from Lucas C.

Lucas. I went to go visit my little brother at college a few weekends ago for an alumni weekend for the fraternity that I was in, and he is currently in. for an alumni weekend for the fraternity that I was in, and he is currently in. On Friday night of that weekend, there were a number of brothers, mostly current ones, hanging out in the house basement doing what college kids do. That is to say, binge, drink cheap beer and liquor, throw up, then do it again.

That sounds great. Why didn't I ever join a frat? Did you ever join a frat, Al? No, no, no, no. Sounds great, right? I've attended a, or I guess it was a sorority party. It was some sort of sorority fundraiser. How was that?

It was boring. Oh, really? Yeah, no, there was no, I think there was no drinking at it. Ugh. Yeah, go on. It's like they never saw Animal House at all. Yeah, the sorority girls. never saw animal house at all yeah those sorority girls of the alumni present it was just me and this 43 year old guy who graduated in 1989 who had only briefly been introduced to as you can

imagine it was kind of weird that he was there and most everyone figured this out very quickly for instance he kept talking about hey what how he wanted to bang a kappa hottie and how he was a career bachelor and how awesome that was and how he used to crash a cap a hottie, and how he was a career bachelor and how awesome that was, and how he used to crash parties of other fraternities at other schools when he was our age. Essentially, he is Will Ferrell's character, Chaz, in The Wedding Crashers, only I'm unaware of the quality of his mothered meatloaf. Will Ferrell's in The Wedding Crashers? Yeah, he's the late cameo in the movie.

Yeah, and he's funeral crashing by the time Owen Wilson... Oh, spoiler alert! I call it The Wedding Crashers. I know it's called Wedding Crashers. Yeah, The Wedding Crashers is a Bollywood film. Yeah, that's how parents refer to the movie. Did you see The Wedding Crashers?

In any case, some kid turned on a playlist with electronica pop type music and his face instantly scrunched up in distaste to no one in particular he exclaimed can we listen to some real music like coolio or 50 cent no one changed the music so well done uh that's a that was an epic overheard I appreciate the writing quality And thank you for sending them in When I was at college People would sometimes have their younger siblings

Come and visit them But the guy who wrote in Was an older sibling going to visit Yeah, he was going back to reminisce And then this guy was an older, older, older Crasher Yeah, he was a crasher Because when a younger sibling comes It's kind of fun Because you're like, hey, older guy. Crasher. Yeah, he was a Crasher. Because when a younger sibling comes, it's

kind of fun, because you're like, hey, you want your first beer, or whatever? Or like, check this out. Yeah, yeah. And then someone throws someone off a balcony. Or they, what, they tie cinder block to your junk, and they throw that over the... You trust that the rope's

long enough? Or someone jumps off a roof and yells bonsai or they blindfold you and they you think you're in a helicopter because they're making a lot of noise and they there's i don't know where yeah then they throw you into we used to take uh yogurt uh little yogurt packs uh you know like you would buy a personal yogurt like a Like a Yoplait. Yeah. Not a big, like, three-quarter liter one. Not a lucerin. We had one of those big slingshots

that had to be operated by three people, and we would launch the yogurt at our rival dorm. That's pretty good. I didn't get any, I didn't do any of that stuff. In the fraternity of theater, is there any of that kind of stuff going on?

What about the Brotherhood of Man? Anything? I was actually, my plan out of high school was to become an engineer, so I dropped theater classes in high school to redo calculus so I could get a better grade. Is that right?

When you say engineer, you mean the guy who drives the train? I just wanted the hat so bad. No, I was going to be an electrical engineer was my career path. Wow. So I spent my frosh week doing eng frosh, which has- ERTWtw which yeah engineers rule the world

uh which you know in the at the universities in ottawa anyway that was like the the good parties were always the engineer parties and um and i remember there was a community outreach evening uh where uh basically the class split into a bunch of different groups and drove to neighboring universities like in kingston and montreal like good you know two i think it was a two-hour radius was and uh and we'd go and just do shit to those campuses and i remember we like bricked up uh the entrance to one building and like bought this um these pool chemicals and like poured them on the line to try and spell stuff out so that the next morning it would be burned into the grass and um that all sounds like work like it sounds like it's like you know like four in the morning by

the time it's just like you know tired drunk kids who don't really know what they're doing but like you know the the we know the formulas the facilitator like We know the formulas. The facilitator, the boss, is like, no, this will be great. Yeah, this won't be hard labor. You're breaking up a door. You're like, this is just work. This is the worst. I'm a mason.

At UBC, the engineers, every year they would do a big prank that involved engineering in some way. It was always a Volkswagen bug. They would do a big prank that involved engineering in some way. It was always a Volkswagen bug. Yeah, that's right. They would hang a Volkswagen bug off a bridge on some kind of cable. Or they would steal the R from the Ridge Theater logo. So just say age?

Yeah, you know. It's an engineering joke. That's clever. What letter would you steal from, I don't know. Yeah. Can you make anything out of it? You can make ride. Or you could do id if you were in the psychology department.

Sure, yeah. But they don't do a lot of pranks. Once a year. We also have overheard. Oh, yes. If you want to send it. Sorry. Didn't mean to Oh, yes. If you want to send in... Sorry, didn't mean to cut you off. If you want to send in overheards...

But feel free. If you're going to do it, do it. Do it right. Yeah. If you want to send in overheards to us, it's stoppodcastyourself at gmail.com. And if you would like to call in an overheard, our phone number is 206-339-8328, like these people have. Hi, Graham and Dave. This is Katie in Oakland, and I'm reporting an overseen.

Earlier today on the highway, I was behind a car, and the car had a bumper sticker, and it looked like it was going to be a Got Milk bumper sticker or something like that, because it was in the same style as a Got Milk bumper sticker or something like that. And because it was in the same style as a Got Milk. And so when I got closer, I saw that it didn't say Got Milk. It said Got Alicia Keys. And I just thought that that was pretty great. So weird! I really thought it was going to be a Got Jesus.

No, yeah. A Got Alicia Keys caught me off guard. she's the new jesus got keys caught alicia keys um when i was i don't i can honestly say when i was buying our newest microphone that one uh that graham is speaking into good looking microphone um we uh at the the music store, they have the department that has the microphones also has music software and there's a software called Alicia's keys. Oh, what does that even do? I think it's like a piano software. Oh, so you can play New York state of mind.

Yeah. Empire state of mind. New York state of mind. Yeah. Yeah. Sure. Evergreen state of mind. Is it empire state of mind? Empire state of mind. New York State of Mind. Evergreen State of Mind. Is it Empire State of Mind?

Empire State of Mind. Can you name any other state nicknames? What's that? Garden State of Mind. Garden State is New Jersey. The Peach State is Georgia. And the Sunshine State is... California?

No, that's the Golden State. Oh, home of the Warriors. The Beaver State. Anyway. I just realized this is awfully boring. The Beaver State of Mind. Do we have that with provinces in Canada? We have Friendly Manitoba State of Mind. Yeah, we just have... Wild Rose

Country? Yeah, we just have what's on the license plate. Sluggins, yeah. Well, yeah, we don't have... What's Toronto's? Ontario's? Yeah, we just have what's on the license plate. Like sluggins, yeah. Well, yeah, we don't have... What's Toronto's? Ontario's? Yeah, the province of Toronto. Oh, guys, come on. Let's not gang up on me. What is Ontario's? Shit, I'm being busted on this right now. Yes!

Thank you! A place to discover. Is that right? Yours to discover? Yours to discover. Yeah. Quebec is J'aime souvent. J'aime souvent. I is Jemesouvant. Jemesouvant. Jemesouvant.

I remember the Plains of Abraham. Beautiful British Columbia. Saskatchewan is for? Is drive-thru Saskatchewan. Isn't it Big Sky Country? No, I think it's Montana. Wheat Country. Okay, this is awful.

You started it. I know. Okay, that is awful. You started it. I know. Okay, that one was about bumper stickers. This one is also an overseen of bumper stickers. Oh, hey. Hey, Dave, Graham, and possible guests. It's William from Chicago, and I have an overseen for you. My boyfriend and I were driving, and the car in front of us had two bumper stickers. The first one said,

My child is a Broadway junior star, which made us roll our eyes because it was probably some camp-issued bumper sticker from some stage mother and their child. So we rolled our eyes thinking it was annoying. But the second one said, My other car is a jazz square. My other car is a what?

Jazz square. I don't know what that is. I don't know either. Dave, do you got jazz square? I assume it's some kind of theater thing or dance thing. Yeah. Musical theater thing. But I like that he said that the first one made them roll their eyes, which is dangerous when you're driving.

Yeah, you got to keep your eyes on the road. Or on the road, then on the roof, then back on the road again. Constantly be moving your eyes. So clearly they're kids in the arts. And they themselves are also in the arts? Yeah, there are other cars. Was this arts reference? When I was a kid, I would watch TV and I would hear jokes about my kid is an honor student at whatever school.

Because that's a joke. I never saw that in real life, though. I saw it in Calgary. There was a school that gave my kids an honor student at jazz square elementary what school was it uh i believe it was called western okay that's boring yeah well what did you expect it to be that just invites hey college boy comments yeah yeah what hey college boy let's go to a frat And drop cinder blocks on their penises No wait they didn't drop cinder blocks

On their penises right That's stupid They drew cinder blocks on their penises Because that would be stupid And finally Hey stop podcasting yourself I haven't overheard Today I was walking through the Eaton Center

In Toronto And I walked past the store I haven't overheard. Today I was walking through the Eaton Center in Toronto, and I walked past a store where a mom was standing with her little girl, and they were talking to a friend, I guess. And I didn't quite hear the conversation, but as I passed, the little girl raised her hands to her mouth and made a hand fart sound. I'll try and replicate it here. It's not going to be very good because it's over the phone, but it was like this.

And then she laughed hysterically, and her mom and the friend also laughed hysterically, and I, too, began to laugh as I walked out. That was so bad. It sounded like a toilet flush sound. I used to love that. He was talking about blowing on your hands. I assume both hands.

Oh, this was the big one. You used to do both hands. I could do one or both. Yeah, well, you were an honor student at Park Center Elementary. But it would be like, I can't hold a fart with a beard anymore. You've got a beard. Oh, is that right?

Yeah, because you can't get a flush. You can't get a good seal. That's why pilots can't have beards. Because they need to make fart noises. Yeah. There we go. That's all right. Fart noise McGilligudilligan does anybody else want to have

a go nope no um dave you were you were lining up like you knew how to okay guys grow up uh but i like that it was a little girl that did it uh yeah no well girls are uh you know it's 2010 girls can do whatever they want. I taught an improv workshop in Sydney, Australia this summer. Wow. And there was this, I think she was 12 or 13 years old in the workshop. She was a delightful

kid who was maybe had the sensibilities of an 8-year-old. And we came back from lunch and she was standing in the middle of the room making fart noises uh with her hand and i you know the instructor comes into class and i put my stuff down on the side and everybody kind of starts moving like to position like against the wall it's like all right class is going to begin again he's still like right in the middle of the room

making fart noises uh and and so um all right and there was music playing. I turned the music off, and I go to stand, like, basically next to her, like, in the center of the room. And she's still there making fart noises. And I even go, like, okay, so, like, beginning, and she's still, like, just, I don't know if she was oblivious. Was she Australian or autistic? Australian. Australian. I don't know if she was oblivious. Was she Australian or autistic?

Australian. And I had to give her that slow pan look over, just like, are you serious? She also wrote us a beautiful thank you note at the end of this camp I was working at, which was hand-drawn on a piece of loose-leaf paper torn out of a spiral notebook, but really poorly torn out of the spiral notebook. So this huge corner of the page was ripped off, and she didn't bother tearing off a better page. Yeah, it was like Alberta.

Exactly. And drew stick figures of the four instructors that were teaching, myself, Dave Morris, Meg Fitzgerald, and Katie Bowes. Shout out. teaching uh myself dave morris uh megs fitzgerald and uh katie bows shout out and herself uh and she so um she drew a picture of herself as a man like she i suspect she was trying to draw a picture of dave morris and then then felt bad about it so just so labeled it herself as a man who had like a beard and like armpit hair and like... Stink lines, presumably. Yeah.

And then just four identical stink figures representing the rest of us. And, you know, thanks. Thank you for the workshops. I learned heaps. Heaps. So shout out to Olivia in New South Wales Australia What's up fart machine So great Yeah girl fart

Girl fart noises Girls don't fart If people want to find you online Where should they go Where's the best place to find you You can find out stuff I'm doing at Crushimprov.com If you're around Ottawa

Or twitter.com slash crush underscore improv. I love it. Was crush non-underscore improv taken? Yeah. Do you have a rival? I do. Do you want us to burn down their office? We'll fight them.

Twitter slash crush improv is a group from New York City. Who wants to crush improv. Yeah. And we both formed around the same time and then actually played at a festival together once there was a crush double bill oh my goodness um but they have since uh disbanded so we i feel we have prevailed you should probably get the twitter account that's well i mean i we have our followers that with the underscore so i've been debating it's like well do i because i know i know some of these guys now and it's like well do i say hey you guys you you stop so

like i don't know what protocol what protocol is for that yeah you got it yeah yeah now that you guys have disbanded and uh you don't like each other anymore i want to beat you up and steal your stuff i want to steal all of your your new york fans and make them my fans. Yeah. That's basically what it is. They're so hip. Yeah. Empire State of Mind. I'm all right, guys. Yeah, sure. I'm probably going to go see a Talking Heads concert. So check out crushimprov.com.

Yeah. All right. And we don't have anything to plug, do we? Do you? No, no. I sure don't. I had something to plug last week, but we recorded that so long ago. It's very weird time-wise.

So whatever I was going to plug has happened already. Okay. Well, everybody out there in podcast listening land, thank you so much for listening to the podcast and for sending in wonderful... Oh, hey, here's something we should plug. Yeah, wonderful notes of appreciation. Go on, Dave. Months ago, we mentioned the Paul F. Tompkins coming to Vancouver thing.

That is correct. Paul F. Tompkins will be in town for the Tompkins 300, is that what it's called? Yes. And so you can buy tickets. I assume the Tompkins 300 is a NASCAR race. Yeah, sure. You do 300 laps. It's going to be great.

Yeah, it's going to be November 13th at the Rio Theater. You can buy tickets online. All you have to do is you can go to the Tompkins 300 Facebook page or if you just Google Tompkins 300 Vancouver, it'll take you right to where you need to buy tickets. We don't really need to plug this because we are not involved. We're not, but it's going to be a wonderful show, and he's a friend of the podcast. Yeah, we'd certainly like the place to be full.

Yeah, and come on, get off your ass, Vancouver. Be cool. Or surrounding areas. This will be your chance to see Paul Tompkins. Paul Tompkins, I dropped the F. We're casual like that. And yeah, so everybody out there, thanks again for listening and for sending us nice notes and all that stuff. If you want to contact us, it's StopPodcastingYourself at gmail.com or you can call us at 206-339-8328.

Thanks for listening and come on back next week for another slip and slide downhill Calypso adventure that is Stop Podcasting Yourself.