Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 138 - Debra DiGiovanni and Darcy Michael

Episode Date: November 2, 2010

Comedians Debra DiGiovanni and Darcy Michael join us to talk about Halloween, having a law named after you, and lunchbags.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 138 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who if you chant his name five times into a bathroom mirror, he will appear holding a baby's skull, Mr. Dave Shumka. Oh, terrifying.

Yeah, right? Is that the Candyman? Bloody Mary, I think. Oh, okay. Did you not have that? Which one's Candyman? Bloody Mary, I think. Which one's Candyman? You just say Candyman, and then he's got bees in his face or something like that. He had hooks.

And Beetlejuice. Three times. Beetlejuice was a three-timer. Yeah, I wish I had a name like that. You do. Dave Schumke. Okay. And we have two guests this week.

I guess no one's ever said it that many times. We have a repeat guest, third time guest on the show, Darcy Michael, who just recently came back from the Canadian Comedy Awards. We'll hear all about that in a second. And very excited to have first time guest, Debra DiGiovanni. First time guest, long timeGiovanni first time guest long time listener I don't know that felt right

yeah it felt right it did yeah you may know her from Video on Trial she's won a Gemini for her appearance on the Halifax Comedy Festival three time Canadian

Comedy Award recipient rub it in just saying and thanks for coming. Thank you very much for having me. This is lovely. This is amazing.

It's been a while since I've seen you. I think the last time was that show, that whatever, that show that was foolish enough to let you go.

Oh, right. I'll have to start with Bad Blood. That's what I started with. Here in town. City television. Oh, yeah. Your beard is bigger.

I haven't been working. There you been working you're allowed to do that excellent should we get to know us sure get to know us so what's uh what's new and exciting uh miss deborah what is new and exciting it's i wish i could say something really really really exciting, but it's basically more of the same. I perform a lot. I'm on the road a lot, which I love. Why do you love being on the road? A lot of times, comics don't. I love doing stand-up. I just want to do stand-up

as much as I possibly can. I also enjoy being busy. I'm one of those people that just likes busy to the point of chaos is what I enjoy. Really? Yeah. Downtime makes me nervous. It does. I don't like it so much. I enjoy. Yeah. Downtime makes me nervous. It does. I don't like it so much.

I'm not good. I've never been like, I've never, ever been even like a vacationer. Like I've never been able to just, I don't take holidays. I never had the last, honestly,

the last holiday I took, I was 18 years old with my family. Where'd you go? Uh, we used to go to, uh, we used to go to Maine, Ogunquit,

Maine. Oh yeah. That was our family. That sounds very, uh, lobstering. Yeah. It sounds very, Ogunquit, Maine. Oh, wow. That was our family vacation. Went lobstering. Yeah. It sounds very What About Bob. It is.

I'm sailing! But yeah, that's where we used to go. And that was the last time I've been on vacation. I just don't do it. But you were 18. You're 21 now. Yes. So that's not that long a stretch.

Oh, goodness. God, I like that, man. But it's true. I like to be busy. I really do. Yeah. And for me, stand up is true love you know forever true of destroyed true if not destroyed i like it's all in a big heart

that's what we used to do in grade school if someone scratched out it was true and if you didn't scratch it out it was still true wait a minute go back wait wait wait you know like deborah did you i would write deborah g givanni loves Darcy Michael true if destroyed true if not destroyed so it didn't matter what she did she didn't matter it was still true

yes exactly it's like and that is true by the way that is true it's like punch buggy no punch back exactly yeah

exactly goddess heist I don't know that is true what you were just saying that's true you're really you're comedy's

power couple a lot of people I know I know I know I like it I like it totally platonic couple but that's fine You're really, your comedy is a power couple. A lot of people don't know that. I like it. I like it.

Totally platonic couple, but that's fine. That's okay. That's what we want people to believe. I've got a fake image to uphold. Yeah, exactly. I know you do. God bless. You're like a Tom Cruise in a Tom Cat. Oh my gosh.

Awesome. I get to be Tom Cruise. I get to be Tom Cruise. Totally. What would our couple name be? Because it's like... Well, it's Darcy... Dar-G-I-V-A-N-E.

Yeah. No. Dar-G-E-L-I-N-G. Just call yourself Dar-G-E-L-I-N-G. It could be Michael DiGiovanni, which is my brother. Oh, that's creepy. That is weird, actually. Yeah.

Okay. Yeah. That's cool. So you're doing comedy. Are you traveling a lot? Yeah. You like travel? Right now, I do.

Let's not kid the people listening at home. It's not super fun. It's not glamorous. No, no, no. Coming to Vancouver is a treat because I have people that I know. Sure. I have a friend, Darson. It's like, that is obviously way better.

But then there are times that you go and it's just like, in to a small place, hotel, show, back to hotel, get on a plane and that's right it all depends on who you're working with it is it's all about the company like 45 minutes on stage is the fun and the rest is like yeah sometime not so great um so what else you live in toronto yes what do you do when you're not when it's not stand-up time what does deborah do sadly not very much i really don't i uh i am uh are you a homebody i am i would say homebody recluse to be honest like so do you watch movies you're watching tv i watch movies i watch tv i um i do have pals don't get me wrong very good like freakishly good at wheel of Fortune. Is that right? I'm talking three letters on that.

Oh, my gosh. Let me tell you, I go to Wheel of Fortune. And she'll look at it and be like. Oh, my God. If the wheel doesn't fuck me, I'm going to win that game. I'm just going to tell you. If it doesn't, if it's not all bankrupt, the kid's going to win. That's how it is.

We've had Wheel of Fortune marathons where I've yet to win one puzzle. Terrifyingly good. I wrote in the TV Guide when I was 14 asking how I could get on Wheel of Fortune. This was pre-internet. Yes. You could just Google that. Dear me.

That's how obsessed I am with that show and she has destroyed it for me so now I watch Jeopardy. Did you ever have any loser relatives who were like, hey, I was reading TV Guide

and I read your letter. My mom. She's like, Darcy, you're in the TV Guide and I was like, I am not. She's like, Darcy, you're in the TV Guide. And I was like, I am not. And she quotes the letter and it was like,

Darcy Michael. Okay, so you're amazing at TV Guide. No, I have a wheel of fortune. Oh yeah, sorry. You're amazing at TV Guide. You should see me switch through a TV Guide.

You probably wouldn't be proud of this. Stop it. But Wheel of Fortune. I remember I used to watch it when I was a kid and it was a big deal. Vanna White was a big celebrity.

Yeah, she wrote a book. Have you read her book? No. Why not? I don't know. You're a homebody. I'm going to block out some words and then fill it in myself. I'm just going to write the story.

That's what I'll do. Block out letters. Well, in this sentence. But it's always changing. It's ever evolving. The final round, they used to make you pick all the letters. Yes, remember you used to go shopping? You'd win money and then you went shopping for prizes?

I won. Oh, yeah. And now it's like wicked awesome. Now it's like seriously, like they give away tons of money. They win millions. They have a million dollar thing now. Have you seen someone win? Two people have won.

Really? Okay, I can't believe I'm this excited. But the first day that they introduced the million dollar wedge, a woman won it that day. Oh, do you won it that day. It was so exciting! Do you not find that a little coincidental? Do you not think? No, the wheel doesn't line. The Million Dollar Wedge is always in between the three stars or the two stars.

But you know how you have to spin at the end of the game? I feel like I'm really unfamiliar with it. Don't learn it. I'm looking at you. No, I'm saying tell him. Okay. At the end of the game, before you do the final puzzle, you have to spin this other thing where Pat picks out the prize. And that's your prize.

And that's your prize if you fail. So there's two wheels, Graham. Two wheels. It's in a sealed envelope. And it's a sealed envelope until you finish the puzzle. And it's usually a car or $30,000 or $100,000. Those are all good prizes. They replaced the $100,000 with a million. I can't believe we know this is so sad wheel of fortune uh but yeah and

but i have friends too i do things with friends i don't know if this is just all comedians is it all of us in the room brunch is my thing like i'm a bruncher i very like i don't go out for other meals it's so sad i've been in toronto for like 20 years and like someone what's a good place for dinner I have no idea I have no idea

what's a good place for brunch oh there's so many good brunch places you know what I like in Toronto you go there they've got that place Great Egg Spectations oh yeah yeah well done

they have little fabulous boutique places that are just we really do brunch well god bless but that's my favorite so I do like hang out with friends you know

but this is the sad part of my life is that you know i'm of the age where a lot of my friends are getting married and having babies do you know and you don't like and no it's not that i don't like babies it's just that i'm not a woman with a baby and i don't know if you know this but when women have babies they turn into different creatures they really do i know they get the bellies get quite yeah that is part of it but they it's just it's sort of like you start, you start just, you're on a different page. I still live like a teenager. And then, and you know.

No teenagers watch Wheel of Fortune. Let me tell you that. True. I'm stuck between two worlds, Will. But that's, you know, so it changes because then they start resenting you for not having it. Like, and it's unconscious. Like, it's not malicious.

But they just start like talking baby things. And it's always like, you know what? You really have to discuss this with a person who has a baby because it's Like, and it's unconscious. Like, it's not malicious, but they just start like, talking baby things and it's always like, you know what, you really have to discuss this with a person who has a baby because it's just, you're not on the same page, right?

So it gets, it gets weird. So what do you, what do you have to do? Do you have to find people either that don't have, like, do you have to skew younger

or how does that work? I do, my friends are quite young and I have a lot of, and I have a lot of gay boys as well. Ah. Yes, yes,

I have a lot, they're young and gay. Young and gay. Young and gay and has a kid. gay boys as well. Yes, I have a lot there. Young and gay. And has a kid. But your kid is like a human though. No, I can't. But your kid is like a human though. She's 12. She's wicked funny.

What's she going to ask for Halloween? I know this podcast will come out, I think, after Halloween. What did she go ask for? We'll probably have to edit this part out because I don't remember. Oh, really? But she told me, oh, I think it's, oh, Wednesday from the Addams Family. Oh, my gosh, awesome. Only because we got her hair straightener for her birthday.

So she really likes to straighten her hair. So she wants to use that as often as possible. Yeah, and she wants to dye her hair black. So we're going to let her just do do the five-week washout or whatever. Yeah, fun. So she'll have green hair by November 1st. I'm going to Cancun on Halloween, so I could give a fuck. She could go as the Grinch for Christmas.

Yeah, exactly. Easy fit. Debra, do you do Halloween? Do you dress up? Do you do anything? Usually, we do go down to Church Street because it's like, as Darcy will tell you, confirm the people. Oh, it's fantastic. It is gay Christmas. Yeah, it's gay Christmas. Yeah, so it's super fun. I thought the Pride you, confirm the people. Oh, it is fantastic. It is gay Christmas.

Yeah, it's gay Christmas. Yeah, so it's super fun. I thought the Pride Parade was gay Christmas. No, no. That's gay New Year's Eve. Gay Easter? Gay Easter. Okay, there you go.

Lots of baskets. They shut down Church Street in Toronto for the weekend. They will close off, so no traffic coming through on Church Street. Really? Yeah, and it's really wonderful. The costumes are just fabulous. Oh my gosh. Drag queens and gay boys love Halloween so much.

You really do it up. Oh yeah, I saw the... So it's kind of just a cruise couple years ago. It is. At the Commodore, I saw a drag queen on stilts, and that was it for me. I was like, fantastic, you win. Did I tell you one time by the way you need to tuck

did I tell you once that one time on Pride I got chased by a tranny that chased me because I saw this man woman girl let me say it she was on stilts not on stilts just flat shoes oddly enough which is strange for a drag queen

that's the two choices flats or stilts that's flat shoes, oddly enough, which is strange for a drag queen. That's the two choices, flats or stilts. That's it. No in between. Not a two and a half comfortable walker. Sure. But she had fake boobs, but fake bum, which I've never seen before. You know when they get the really big bottom implants, so it's like this cuckoo. Yeah, like a little.

And I was intrigued. Like a cutting board show. Yes. So I walked over, because people were like literally standing around her like oohing and aahing, and I joined in on the gang. And then she, I did, I was like, what's going on here? I had to see for myself. And then she actually groped me.

Because someone was like, are those wheels? She turned to me and said, are those wheels? She gave me a full-on squeeze. Oh my god. And then I ran, running. I was all traumatized. It was very exciting. My friends were standing by taking pictures and laughing, and I was like, thank you for this, but it was. It was very exciting. My friends were standing by taking pictures and laughing. And I was like, thank you for this. But it was exciting.

So do you have, are you going to costume up or you don't? I probably won't. I haven't costumed in a while. You know, actually, they put me in an angel costume on video on trial. So I feel like I'm done. I feel like I did it. That was it. Fine.

But that was actually one of my go-to costumes was always an angel. That was so easy, an angel. Right. A little halo out of tinsel, some wings. Boom. Done. That's nice. Then you save it, put it on the hook for Christmas.

Exactly. Although, did you, like in high school, I had some really impressive Halloween costumes. What was your all-time? Because I can sew. Yeah. And one of my favorites was I did the Chiquita Banana Woman. Oh, yeah. Which is, I guess, would be considered like a Carmen Miranda, but I went Chiquita Banana.

Like the... Like the fruits on the head. Fruit hat. Plastic fruit hat. That took me a long time to make. It was really good. It was really... Wow. All in one year, I went Chiquita Banana. Like the fruit hat. Plastic fruit hat. That took me a long time to make. It was really good. Oh, and one year I went as Bride of Frankenstein.

Oh my God, it was so good. Big hair. Oh yeah. Yeah, with the bolts on the neck. Did you use the banana from the year before to shape the hair? I should have.

That would have been a good idea. You would have saved me an hour. That's why you have gay friends now. God bless. See, I was lost in high school. Honey, I know what to do with bananas when you're done with them. Really?

What does that mean? What does that mean? No, I didn't mean it like that. I meant it just the way I had explained it. Oh, I see. Enjoy this potassium. Do you dress up? I've had the same Halloween costume for about five years.

Stoner. He can't get it off. It's on the zipper stuff. Yeah, usually I dress as a disappointment to my parents. All right. But no, actually, I bought a kid's costume at London Drugs for $10 one year. It's a Miss Piggy costume where normally you put your head in it and the Miss Piggy's above it and then the body you wear. But it obviously does not fit.

So I stuffed the body with a bunch of newspapers and I just put the head on. And the body hangs in front of me. That's pretty cute, actually. I'm pretty adorable. Yeah. There's a reason it's made a comeback every year. It takes up valuable closet space, but we all realize it's justified.

I'll be wearing it on our, I believe we're doing a... Well, we will have done this show. And that was, by the way, you killed. Yeah. Good set. You know, slouch yourself over there. Well, you know, I thought, you know, the new stuff really worked. Now I get it right.

Dave, you don't believe in dressing up in hats and Halloween clothes. No, but I did when I was a kid. Oh, yeah. What was your favorite kid? Well, we had these, it's funny you bring up Miss Piggy. We had a woman who was like our nanny I think, I was too young to remember But everyone else has fond memories of her

But she was an excellent Sewer as well And she made these, she made a Miss Piggy costume Which was an actual like felt Face that you wore Like a mask over your face And then a pig in a dress and there was a Kermit the Frog one that I went

as a couple times. That's pretty good. That sounds pretty cute. But other than that, I just look forward to the candy and the discount candy on November 1st. Do you have kids come to the house? I'm in a new

place this year. I feel like I I'm in a new place this year. Yeah, we don't live together. No, no. But I feel like I'm on the back of it, so I won't. So no, no one's coming around. But I wish, because I've never lived in a place where it's been kid-trafficked. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like, I've lived in mostly houses in Vancouver. Yeah, in apartments you can't do. Like, I'm in an apartment. That's a sad thing that doesn't happen. That doesn't happen in the Ags. We do it at our place. We make the building just chips and then we all just

put a big pile of candy. I like that. And I eat most of it. Do you really? What's your favorite? What's your favorite mini candy? My favorite mini candy is the Wonder Bar. Oh.

Or the Mr. Big. I'm going to throw this down and it's going to make me even more unpopular than my Wheel of Fortune remark my favorite Halloween candy everyone hates it everyone hates it those molasses kisses in the orange paper

I love those you guys are sick come on they're delicious molasses are you kidding I get them every year because no one wanted them give them to Debra I used to give away my gum chicklets I would give away every year because no one wanted them. Give them to Debra. I used to give away my gum. Chicklets I would give away.

Chicklets. Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. Chicklets in a two-pack. I'd like to take back mine. I'd go with Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. Oh, okay. Chicklet in the two-pack. Do you remember that?

Fantastic. Come on. That is like childhood right there. Isn't it? That's how I spent my childhood. Chicklets in a two-pack. Do they still do a five-pack of Lifesavers? Do you remember those little ones?

Yeah. Cute. Cute. Lifesavers have kind of fallen off. Yeah, on Christmas we would get the little book of them. Yeah, the book of them. Santa story book. That was the times though.

They're just pure sugar. Oh, yeah. Not the molasses candy. And those molasses twists. A lot of wheat. A lot of wheat in those. Am I way off in remembering that canadian tire used to sell lifesavers like that was the only candy that you now if you go to canadian tire like they have

candy at the checkout yeah because they're like it's just that it's always weird candy though isn't it i seem to remember like like a tree of suckers or something do you know what i mean yes and you're like yeah okay the big oh yeah Okay. The big round suckers. Yeah, I remember. They're supposed to be gourmet suckers, but I don't think so. Seriously, gourmet suckers, insert joke here. Oh, rim shot. I don't do the ba-jum-cha, whatever.

I can't make sound effects, but I can say rim shot. Give me a rim shot. Do it. There we go. Very nice. Good work, boys. Give me a rimshot. Do it. There we go. Very nice. Good work, boys. Yours is jazzy.

I like your jazzy rimshot. That was your high school nickname, jazzy rimshot. You're close. Just one letter off. One letter. Now, this time... Oh, jizzy. Yeah, there you go.

Rumshot. Rum shot. Rum shot. You drank. Now, in Toronto, are fireworks, are they illegal in Toronto? They're only legal on Canada Day. Oh, is that right? Is that true? Are you making that up?

Yeah, because I grew up in Pickering, and Canada Day, we'd always have... We lived on a... What is it? A cul-de-sac? Is that what they Are you making that up? Yeah, because I grew up in Pickering, and Canada Day, we'd always have – we lived on a – what is it? A cul-de-sac? Is that what they're called? Yep. And the neighborhood would all chip in, and we'd have a big firework display and all that stuff. Oh, yeah. We'd be in the neighborhoods.

Absolutely. I'm totally with you. Yeah, and it's Canada Day. Because when we moved out here and it was legal on Halloween, we were like, well, what the hell do you guys do on Canada Day? Not much. Not much. We just eat our leftover Halloween candles. Yeah, yeah. You eat our leftover Halloween candles.

You guys have leftover Halloween candles? In July? I don't have it on November 1st. The greatest thing in Vancouver, ever since I moved here, is they will, you know, groups of people will take over an abandoned storefront, like they'll rent it out for a couple of weeks and they'll sell fireworks

under the banner Mighty Gorilla, usually is the brand name they go with. And they will use this – the only signs for fireworks are the black with – like neon orange glow-in-the-dark writing on them that just says fireworks or TNT. Do we not think that fireworks are getting a bad rap? Like seriously, why are they so illegal? Like seriously. I don't – There's so much more in the world that's worse for you.

We used to shoot each other with Roman candles. Yeah, because the only people who really use fireworks are idiot kids. Or delinquents? Yeah. Okay, all right.

Fair enough. I used to take copper piping from my dad's and put ball rockets in them and use it as a gun. This is exactly it, yeah. But it's fantastic. Oh, my gosh.

That's why they started the fireworks registry. Yeah, because of me. They call it Darcy Michaels Law. Oh. I hope there's a law named after me one day No that is not That is a very bad name It's just like oh you're super cool Here's a law

Yes you get a fine for being super cool I'm a little sleep deprived Oh my god If you had a law named after you what would it be? Everyone Mine would be the one to ban breastfeeding in public I'm a little sleep-deprived. Oh, my God. If you had a law named after you, what would it be? Everyone. Okay. Mine would be the one to ban breastfeeding in public. You know what?

Ah! No, I don't have any feelings on that. I'm just trying to make myself... I say done. My law would be people are not allowed to show up to a movie once it's actually started in a theater. Good one. That would be called Graham's Law.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mine would be no butting in line. Oh! Oh, my God! Deborah's Law. Oh, yeah, yeah. Mine would be no butting in line. Oh! Oh my god! Deborah's Law. Oh my god. And like, its penalty is death. I'm invoking Deborah's Law.

That is what I meant. Seriously, I've been waiting for the bus for an hour and a half. You think I'm letting you walk in front of me when it arrives? Are you insane? Oh my god. Are you insane? I'm serious. Well, no.

If they're convicted of Deborah's Law, they complete insanity. They don't get off so easy, let me tell you. Darcy? What's Darcy's Law? A lot of pressure over here. Some sort of fireworks-related thing. I'm going to go again, because I didn't like my first law. Okay, Dave's Law.

Second law. My first law would be that all airplanes only have two seats instead of three. That's nice. That is good. I support that. That's good. No middle seats, man. Yeah, nobody wants middle good. I support that. That's good. No middle seats, man. Nobody wants middle seats.

I had to sit twisted. My back's still screwed up. Why did you have to sit twisted? What happened? Because the girl beside me, she was all up in my business. She was in the middle seat. She was up in your grill?

No. Somebody owe somebody a Coke. It was one of those boarding the plane, still kind of drunk. This was after the awards. So you were drunk or she was drunk? I was drunk.

Oh, goodness. We were after the awards, and I assumed the woman with me was drunk. I think there's some lady somewhere telling this story. She was favoring the left armrest, which was also mine. But it was like the other lady on the other side, she was way far away from her armrest. Like, get over there. Oh, like she had room to maneuver. So I just sat twisted towards the window.

Dude, I really want to hear Dave's second law. Oh, yeah. Sorry. I'll shut up. Oh, my God. I love you. Okay, go. I guess mine would just be, oh, my first law was a joke.

Yeah, sure, sure. Breastfeeding. I'm breastfeeding right now. Yeah. What's that mean? I guess it would be farting in the car. Farting in the car.

Mandatory farting in the car. Mandatory farting. Mandatory. Everybody's got to. Let her rip. What about a Jude law? What would that be? Oh, yeah.

Always be steamy. Yeah. It would be. Be slightly smarmy, but you still want to kiss him. Why? Why? The smoldering law. Yeah? The smoldering law.

Yeah, the smoldering law. Oh my gosh. Oh lordy. She voked at widow's peak. Dave, is there anything going on with you in general? Oh, here's a good thing

that went on with me. Socket to us. You know those neti pots? Yeah. Yes. The things where you, it's a pot and you tilt your head

to the side and it forces water up. I call it the evil teapot. Go on. Up one nostril and it comes out the other nostril and I guess it's to the side. Yes. And it forces water up. I call it the evil teapot. Go on. Up one nostril and comes out the other nostril. And I guess it's to clear your sinuses. I saw this product and I bought it. But it's not the neti pot.

It's related to the neti pot. It's the saline spray. The saline spray. Oh, yeah. And you force it up. It doesn't use gravity. You just force it up one nostril and it comes out the other one. And I don't even have sinus problems or anything.

I was really curious about it. And I'll tell you about it. It feels like, you know when you're underwater and you go upside down and you go up and it doesn't hurt. It feels like that for like two seconds. But if you keep breathing, breathe through it, through your mouth, it just drips out and it's the greatest. It's the thing. It looks like an oversized Dristan yeah yeah yeah I bought one of those on the advice of past guest Jane Stan I was just gonna say Jane Stanton maybe she secretly works for that company because it's like everybody has been told really oh I don't get them mixed up. I'll tell you that much.

Yikes. Am I right? But seriously, that does work because everyone has been suggesting it, but I feel like the water will go into my brain.

Yeah. I'm a little worried about that. Well, no, no. It implants something into your brain that makes you mention it on a podcast.

But this was my thing with it. I bought one when I had like a super, uh, kind of like a head cold that wasn't loosening up at all. And James said, Oh,

you got to buy this thing. So I bought it. And in the instructions, it kept saying like, you must keep the whole thing like incredibly sanitary and you must like wash it this way and air dry it. And then everything. And it fell on the floor at one point. And I was like,

I guess it's done. And I put it back in the box and I on the floor at one point and I was like, I guess it's done. And I put it back in the box and I've never used it since. Because it says don't use soap and don't use. So you see no soap? Yeah, so it's like, how do you clean a thing? I don't use the, because Jane used to use the neti pot, the actual pot. And that one's gross because you have to tilt your head sideways

and it's all gravity. You have to whip your hair back and forth. You do have to whip your hair back and forth. You do have to whip your hair back and forth. It's strenuous. So, yeah, I use the stuff that Dave got. But it's a saline solution, but I feel like it would do just as good a job if I just used water. What is the point? You're just pushing stuff up?

You could drown. No one's ever drowned in salt water. Oh, my God. I'm such. There's been saline. No one's ever drowned in salt water. Oh, my God. I'm such an asshole. Shut up. Edit. Okay, we're back. I like that Darcy marks his own edit points.

We're back in three, two... And we're back. So nuclear fission, huh? That's, uh... That's that. I tried to make you sound smart there. Did you see what I did? I love you.

Yeah, we edited out his smart talk. We edited out his smart talk. Can we start completely over? Start over. I wasn't supposed to. New topic. So, what? Was that a head cold you were dealing with?

I just had a lot of boogers. Oh. I wish I hadn't asked that follow-up question. Can we edit that out? Oh, lordy. But, yeah, I actually have only done it like four times in the past two weeks. follow-up question. Can we edit that out? Oh, lordy. Yeah, I've actually only done it four times in the past two weeks. Yeah, but then you get hooked.

That's why Jane's trying to deal it out. You're not supposed to do it that much. You're only supposed to do it when you've got a head cold coming on. Otherwise, your sinuses lose the natural bacteria. My sinuses are kind of just like the process. They're method sinuses. Anyway, that's what's going on with me sinus wise graham what's going on with you sinus wise everyone glad to report um i saw a thing and

i'm not sure it was kind of like uh what i saw the way i saw it i saw it like a tableau the way i see it yeah exactly uh was i was walking downtown and they were because it's right around we're The way I saw it, I saw it like a tableau. The way I see it. Yeah, exactly. I was walking downtown, because we're recording this right around Halloween time, and there was a lady in a sexy police woman shirt. Which is not a thing. Well, there are sexy police women, surely. But was there was there a time, there was a time when there were like sexy French maids who wore the outfit and there were probably sexy nurses, like they didn't always wear scrubs. No, that's true.

But there was never a sexy police woman. No, in the 80s. In the 40s. Exactly. You never saw Police Academy. Yeah, exactly. What was her name? Oh, I don't know.

But, oh, you know, Oh, that's totally random. Never mind. I was going to be like, Hot Lips Houlihan was at the award show the other night, but she wasn't a cop. Oh, that's from MASH. Yeah. Yeah. At the Canadian Comedy Awards, Hot Lips Houlihan was there clutching her purse.

She presented. Apropos of nothing. Yeah. Well, she was at a play or something in Toronto. Yeah. Right? Yeah. Yeah.

She's doing a Broadway show, but she came out and- But in a sad area, though. Oh. Do you know that? Yeah, yeah, yeah she's doing a broadway show but she came out and but in a sad area though oh do you know yeah yeah yeah it's definitely not she's not uh you know taking this is not a fine moment for her unfortunately uh but she was like when she was handing out the award she had her purse like clutched in her how do you think that came about do you think somebody from the awards approached her after a show and was like, do you want a dinner? I think she just happened to be walking by the theater. They were like, you want somewhere warm to stay? She said something somewhat coherent.

I don't know MASH. Oh, really? I just remember being on In Reruns when I was like 10 and being like, I'm not watching this. I never did. I never watched MASH. I'm not watching this. I never did. I never watched MASH. I'm not lying. I've seen it, but I've never really watched it. I'm going as MASH for Halloween.

Oh, my gosh. The entire cast. 2066. Hank MASH. We watched the MASH finale, like our whole family, and my mom held my hand for the last 10 minutes and she goes, you're witnessing history. I was like, oh, my God. This is your moonlighting.

But you sort of did, though, right? Well, it was the most watched television show. This is your moonlighting. You sort of did though, right? This is your moonlighting. Oh my god. I loved moonlighting. Oh, shut up. This is your bosom buddy. Oh my god, also good. I never saw that. I never saw any of that. Are you kidding? That is when Tom Hanks was funny. Oh. I thought he was pretty funny

in the Da Vinci Code. See? Funny hair. So yes, you saw a sexy lady cop. I thought he was pretty funny in the Da Vinci Code. See? Funny hair. Well done. So yes, you saw a sexy lady cop. I saw a sexy police – yeah, a lady in a sexy policewoman outfit. And there was a lady obviously from out of town because she was carrying her wheelie luggage with her. And this was right by Waterfront Station. So you come in from the airport to go downtown.

That's where it goes to. waterfront station so you know you come in from the airport to go downtown that's where it goes to and she was asking this this uh sexy police uh late was giving directions and i was like does this lady from out of town think this is like this is how the police here i'm not from here i'm new i don't know i'm gonna take some photos of you and bring these back home to Akron. Was it at least a Friday or Saturday night? No. No, this was on a Thursday night. So it's not even that close to...

No, that was her stripper outfit. Do you know what? That was a stripper outfit. Maybe I've got this all backwards and she was a sexy police officer. Do they wear fishnets now? Latex outfit. I don't know that they don't. Exactly.

You don't know under those pants they could have them on I'm making a lot of assumptions Darcy has long underwear on right now I'm wearing long underwear do you have the trapdoor at the back

no I was just gonna cut one out oh I thought that was the euphemism yeah me too excuse me guys I gotta go cut one out I gotta go

I gotta invoke Dave's law we are a different wavelengths now can i ask you before we move on with the show i saw photos of you on facebook you're dressed like a unicorn you're working on a film or something oh yeah we just wrapped that larping movie the last we talked about it the last time i was uh that's right and and it's like brian posain and harlan williams yeah mike smith bubbles how was it it was fantastic we i honestly i had a great That's right. And it's like Brian Posehn and... Harlan Williams. Yeah. Mike Smith, Bubbles. How was it?

It was fantastic. We, I honestly, I had a great time. It's really out there and it's going to be really funny to see. And I'm ridiculous. I'm a fucking unicorn. It looks really like, even just from the few photos, because you see a lot of like, this is me on set and stuff. And it doesn't look that fun, but it looked like it was we were great we were in stitches from like five in the morning until midnight every day like it was just uh it was chaos and uh yeah i uh i was really upset when

i when it wrapped i was just like oh what do i do it was like camp yeah that's what i kept saying i was like did you cry when you hugged them goodbye oh Oh, it was a bit teary, yeah. We'll keep in touch. Get everybody's addresses. And the kid from Evan Williams from Degrassi was riding the unicorn all week. It's a real household name. Lovely time. Evan Williams from Degrassi. Yeah, I made sure Jared didn't see any of those pictures. I was like, he'll see that one when it's in the movie.

Is he Drake? I only know him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know Wheels, you'll see that one when it's in the movie. Is he Drake? I only know... I know Wheels. Wheels and Drake. Wasn't there somebody called Snake at one point? Yeah, Joey Jeremiah. The first one. He's the teacher and a dad.

Oh, I thought he meant to play a homeless man. No, they've got a whole bunch. The neighborhood tyrant. Every now and then, I'm not going to lie, if it's on, I'll watch it. I've watched all the past and present incarnations of Degrassi. I'm not ashamed of it. Did you watch Junior High?

I've never watched Degrassi ever. No kidding. Yeah, I don't know why. Wow. I don't know why, seriously. And I'm of the age that I could have watched the first one, and I've never. Just when you think you know somebody. I know, right?

I don't know why. But there was a lot of TV that we never watched like I never ever watched an episode of the Beachcombers ever

ever ever I think my mother hated it even when I was a kid I was like this is too dumb like this is Canadian

yeah my mom and dad might even like garbage let's move on like let's go watch something seriously what did you

watch did you watch Dukes of Hazzard nope I watched Lillist Hobo did you have Lillist Hobo

yeah maybe you didn't have a TV. I sat in front of something square. A lot. I don't know what about. No, I was too busy watching and ready for the old woman. Are you ready? I was too busy watching Donny and Marie. Shut up.

Oh, I love that. Cher. Yeah, Carol Burnett. Oh, Carol Burnett we watched in reruns. That was the only thing. Seriously, that was the only thing me and my mother ever watched together. That was a bonding situation. That was it.

I don't get along with my mom so much, but it was Carol Burnett. We were all about Carol Burnett together. Yeah. I used to always love how they broke. Did you watch the 13th? It was fantastic. Did you watch it? Yeah.

I love that. That was so funny. See, that's what Jimmy Fallon is trying to do, but he's no Harvey Korman. Like, that's... Yeah. That's because he always breaks. Yeah.

Somebody should write that on a blog or something. Do you know what I mean? It's like, dude... Because it's only funny when it's sincere and it happens only once in a while. Yes. But, like, if you can't hold a scene ever, what the fuck are you doing?

Like, seriously, man. I'm just... I could never do it. I did improv and sketch, and I was always that idiot. Were you a jiggler? Well, I just get bored. If you had stuck with it, you maybe would have had your own late night talk show by now.

Yeah, maybe. Maybe you'd have stuck with breaking. With breaking. In sketches. That's what the movie Breaking is about, right? Yeah, it's about Jimmy Fallon. I just watched that. The breakdancing movie, is that what you're talking about?

No, Jimmy Fallon's life story. You seriously just watched it for the first time? Yeah, breaking. I watched it in Calgary when we were filming the movie. Yeah, it's fantastic. It is fantastic. It's a one of a kind. Have you ever seen Breaking?

No, I haven't. It is very one of a kind. The sequel is, and it goes over the edge and it kind of is weird. I would like to watch it with you. Is it honestly about dancing? Because I enjoy dancing.

It's about breakdancing. I like it. I watch it. But it's 80s. And the two marquee stars are a guy named Shabadoo Shabadoo

and Boogaloo Shrimp. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are the names of the like those were the title credits like Boogaloo Shrimp and Shabadoo. Debra's amazing to watch tv or movies with

because it doesn't matter whether you're in the room or not she is running commentary i'll be in the shower and all here are you kidding me are you kidding me who does this who does that get out of the house he's in the house i take it too far though like things in shows and movies upset me because like there's things that i'm just too far though like things in shows and movies upset me because like there's things that i'm just like like after like i can't let movies go like honest like the movie fatal attraction is an example okay after the end of fatal attraction they kills her in the bathroom right yeah so everything i know sorry guys if you're if you're above the age of 40 i've ruined it for you did she ever straighten out that hair never that's before the days

of the straightener they had hair relaxer back then didn't they come on it was the whole process it wasn't healthy for your hair but she goes and dies in the bathroom right and they go and they take it apart and the only thing that I can think of is they ruined that beautiful bathroom that is what I was upset and I'm like what are they going to do I hope they have a second bathroom because

there's going to be weeks of renovations I can't let it go it's weird have you ever been in a bathroom that's super 80s you're talking like the all-white bathroom yeah yeah right it was beautiful it was beautiful very nice i remember that bathroom i remember that having a similar thing watching uh i think it's in true romance great where one of my faves movieaves movie um i've never seen it what's the what's your name gertis what oh wait no i was thinking of true life true man says what's your face that's uh yes yes she takes the back of the the top of the toilet tank and smashes it yeah and i remember watching that as a kid and going where would you go to buy just the top of a toilet whoever owns that place is gonna

be like where am i gonna get just the top of a toilet did i tell you about like a couple weeks ago i had to get uh uh our toilet um what's the thing inside that's attached it's like the chain oh yeah yeah i needed to buy one at home depot and i was looking for the bathroom department and i saw signs and i kept following them and it was taking me to the actual bathroom at the Home Depot. So you dismantled the toilet? Yeah, you just stole it.

There you go. This is what I needed. You got one of those weird round suckers and fucked off. That was it. Do you know how much a toilet costs?

No. There was a $50 toilet. Yeah. My dad was always so... Let's go buy a toilet and smash it. I bet it would be more expensive than that

for some reason. Yeah, me too. Why? Why don't I think that? We used to go through those chains. It feels like it should. My dad would never want to replace the chain or go to the store, so he'd use string until it disintegrated.

And then we'd have to be like, Dad! And he'd be like, The string's in the drawer. And we'd have to string it up. The string's in the drawer. The Darcy Michaels story. Darcy Michaels story.

Darcy's law. Do we want to move on to Overheard? Sure. Overheard. Overheard. It's the evergreen of segments. It's always, it's on every episode. I think we meant to do it once and it's just grown.

Yeah, it was, it missed one episode. Oh, yeah? Which one? John Doerr's second episode. Oh, John Doerr's second episode. By the way, this will be past tense, I think, by the time it comes out, but John Doerr on the first week of the Conan O'Brien show. Fantastic.

So excited. Yay, John Doerr! Yeah, past tense, John Doerr. I want to say the first week of November, I think. Oh, I think we might be in time. I think so. Thank you. No, it's November. Is it? Yeah, November 8th. This episode comes out November 1 November, I think. Oh, I think we might be in time. I think so. Thank you. No, it's November.

Is it? Yeah, November 8th. This episode comes out November 1st, I think. Oh, fantastic. Okay, so yeah, check out. It's in Canada, on the Comedy Network, and in the States on TBS. It's on the same episode that Michael Cera will be on. Right?

Even a Canadian. Julie Benz from No Ordinary Family and Dexter fame. Or is it Julie Benz from Modern Family? Define fame. Defxter fame. Or is it Julie Benz from Modern Family? Define fame. This is a really great podcast. It's very loud and people quite often have to retell jokes. Anyway, overheards.

Overheards. Things overheard in general. Everyday Life, Debra, before we started the show, you said that you compulsively are an overhear or a... I'm an eavesdropper. I can't help it. You ride public transit, right? I do. That's the thing. That's it, right?

It's like when you're on the bus or on the subway, you just can't help it. You've shushed me at restaurants. I have shushed before. I really have. I'm trying to listen. And I just, I can't, I'm just one of those kind of people that I just, I want to hear what other people are saying. But then my problem is that I'm desperate to interject because I'll have. I'm trying to listen. And I just, I can't, I'm just one of those kind of people that I just, I want to hear what other people are saying. But then my problem is that I want, I'm desperate to interject because like I'll have something

funny to say and I'm like, I should just do it and just brighten these people. No, stop it. It's different. But I want to really badly. Like, here's something about me. I'm really good in elevators. Like, I destroy in elevators. Oh, yeah.

You have no idea. Elevators and waiting in line. Shut up. I'm so great. Like, I'm good at that little like. I'm a good waiting in line guy. You know what I mean? You say something, you take off. Good night. Shut up. I'm so great. Like, I'm good at that little, like... I'm good waiting in line. You know what I mean? You say something, you take off.

Good night! You know what I mean? Anyway. But I have some good eavesdropping. Are we going to do... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, I have a couple. So you go first.

Okay. But we'll book it. Okay, fantastic. So you go first, then Darcy, Dave, myself. Back to you. One of my favorite overheards years ago. This is probably like 15 years ago in Toronto. And I was out to dinner with a boyfriend.

And we were listening to this group of three. girls i was listening i couldn't stop uh three girls were i think having some sort of an intervention for uh their friend and they were saying to her we really think you should get your hearing checked because i think that you might have a hearing problem and the friend i'm not saying i'm joking, I don't know what you guys are talking about. There's nothing wrong with my hearing. And it was, I was just, oh my God, we were losing our minds. And they were basically having an intervention to tell her that she couldn't hear. And it was, it was, it was like, oh my God. It was one of those moments where you're like, I can't ever stop.

Do you know what I mean? I couldn't finish my meal. We had to just leave. I had to go. I hope she's okay. I hope she got a hearing aid. I hope she got one of those cochlear implants. I hope so. That's outstanding. There you go.

Darcy? Do you think so? Don't say that. Oh, they can't listen. Anyway, stop it. Edit. Three, they can't listen. Anyway, stop it. Edit. Three, two, one. What's overheard? My overheard wasn't really, well, it was about you.

We were walking up Davie Street yesterday, and there's a fancy little French restaurant on Davie. I can't remember what it's called. And there were two very attractive men having dinner. And I remember, because I was looking at their meals, being like, damn, that's a good meal. And Debra is standing at the window, pointing at them, going, cute! Cute! Cute! Like, obsessively. You were on the phone.

I was on the phone. And I was just, but like, the only attention she got was theirs. It was like we were at a zoo. Cute. Well, Davy Street is kind of like a zoo for us cute it uh yeah yeah that was i've been known to applaud at men as well they walk by i don't care what is that right have you ever done that i do hello look at you you're gorgeous what are you gonna do punch me in the face when i was a kid i used to follow girls on the beach and clap

if they were in a bikini oh yeah that Oh, that's confusing. Yeah, it is confusing. I want more overheads. I want more overheads. Oh, wow. It's a volume business. You need as many overheads as you need. Yeah, we've got to crank them out. Dave? Oh, my God.

Okay, I was on the SkyTrain the other day. It's like a subway in the sky. And there were two girls talking, early 20s, women. I'm listening. We can do it. We're going to see the perimeter. And one was saying, she was kind of worried about, she's seeing this guy and she thinks he's met another girl. And she was like, he's got three jobs and I know which one he would have met a girl at.

Because he works at a graveyard. another graveyard, and a strip club. So he met a girl? Is she goth? I hope it's his second career. And she goes, because I know he's not meeting any girls at a graveyard. And the other friend goes, he might, you know, like at funerals. And then eventually

it came out that he is a gravedigger. Oh my gosh. So he is not meeting girls at funerals. Oh my gosh. But what does he do at the strip club then?

Gravedigger. Say goodbye to Sandy. That's the last time you'll ever see her Sandy, worst stripper name ever Did you see what I did there? Sandy, don't touch her, she's rough Comes out dressed like a golden girl There was an alternate ending

On Austin Powers That I loved And it was the character A Lotta Vagina And they said, I think there was a narrator who came on and said that A Lotta Vagina got tired of people making fun of her name,

so she changed it to Sandy Vagina. Fantastic. Mike Myers still got it. Still got it, absolutely. My Overheard uh courtesy of being uh in the transit uh kind of uh when you exit the transit and there's this kind of mass of humanity that has to get up one set of stairs or an escalator and uh at the top there's kind of people going to the train and people going out of the train and so you kind of can hear snippets and so i only heard the very opening snippet

of this conversation between a gentleman and a lady where the guy said, I used to take really good care of my teeth, but you know. And then he walked away and I was like, you know what? And I tried to push back against the crowd, but there's just a force of humanity pushing you forward. So I just wanted to see his teeth, like if they're all gold or, you know

what I mean? Or gone. But you know. Toothpaste is really expensive. That is intriguing. If you're listening right now, please call him. I go through toothbrushes really quickly. Is that right?

You might be pressing too hard. I guarantee I am. I'm no dentist. What's the problem? I just buy a new toothbrush. Is it bad for my teeth? You can wear away the gun line. The gun line and the enamel. My gun line's awesome. I use one of those electric ones.

They're expensive to replace. You're not supposed to use them both times a day. I only brush my teeth once a week. Stop. I used to take good care of my teeth. I know somebody that we all know, and I won't say the name, but somebody who does not brush his teeth.

What's the reason for that? I don't know. Will you tell us after? I'll tell you after the podcast. I have another overheard. Yes. One of my faves. Okay.

This is downtown Toronto when I was living at like St. Clair and Bathurst. And a couple of ladies walking on the street and they were, let's say, jangling down the street. That might be the best way. Clearly street girls, like probably meth heads, like just jangling. And they were having a full out like, you know, verbal brawl between the two of them. A verb brawl. Yeah, a two of them. A verb brawl. Yeah, a verb brawl. A verb brawl.

Thank you, ribbon. But they were really going at it. And with the clip that I got, the snip that I got of this combo. The clip? Clip snip. And snip it, clip it. Whatever. You know what I mean.

You're listening to clip snip. On Much Music. Yeah. You're watching clip snip on Much Music. Oh, my gosh. International video. That's in Bieber. So they're walking down the street

and as they're screaming at each other and the one girl is saying, I am serious this time. I am not lying. I'm going to do it this time. I'm going to lose those 15 pounds. And I thought that was fantastic because I was like,

all women have the same conversation. Doesn't matter where. They were skeletons walking down the street all jangling. Going to lose 15 pounds. She was going to lose a leg. That was a plan. I just thought it was fantastic.

That's funny. Maybe she meant they're the British currency. Yeah, they were going gambling. This time I mean it. I keep winning. I'm going to lose 50 pounds. Enough of this.

Victory. I can't take it anymore. Oh, Lordy. And of course, we have listeners who have sent in overheards. And if you want to do the same, you can send them to stoppodcastingyourself at gmail.com. I'll save this first one because it is my favorite. Oh. Okay.

This first one comes from Brad K. Brad K. Location, Portola Redwood State Park. My wife and I were camping when three families with nine kids pull up and set up camp beside us. Nine kids each? I think nine kids total. The kids went wild and the adults settled into the box wine. They were your classic mid-30s soccer moms and beta males.

At one point, one woman says to another, I hear Lard is making a comeback, she gushed. They sell it at Whole Foods now. I've heard that about Lard. I like her description of the beta males. So there's alpha males. Those are the big brash guys. Beta males are...

The Greek alphabet is alpha, beta, gamma, delta. Gamma males are your incredible hulks. Nobody? Alright. This is a comic book crowd. That's a pretty good one, I suppose. The last letter is omega.

But that seems like it would be even better than alpha. It does. Omega sounds way stronger. I'm just saying. But an like it would be even better than alpha It does, omega sounds way stronger I'm just saying But an omega male would be like the Tiniest male Is omega the smallest of all? It's the last letter, alpha is the first What about the omega?

What about beta male? Beta is not big enough to be alpha There you go You know, somebody whose wife is into lard And little cocky nerds Yeah, there you go. Yeah, skinny. You know, somebody whose wife is into lard at the whole point. Cocky nerds. Yeah, I imagine a beta male wears mom jeans. By accident? Yeah.

Those are the Barack Obama jeans that he threw the first picture that everyone criticized. Those were mom jeans. Oh, my goodness. You're president. The second one comes from Joshua W. Can you imagine if George W. Bush wore mom jeans. Oh, my goodness. You're president. The second one comes from Joshua W. Can you imagine if George W. Bush wore mom jeans? Can you imagine? The field day.

Never, never, never. Never. Classy cut all the way. All the time. Leave us. This is short and sweet. I live in Dallas, Texas. I was visiting San Antonio, Texas.

It isn't that short. For a cheer competition. Oh, my goodness. For my daughter being held at the... Was it a cheerocracy or a cheer-tatership? Bring it. Nice. Held at the Alamo Dome.

I got a bit lost, and so I stopped at a gas station and went inside to ask directions. The following conversation occurred. Me, can you tell me how to get directions the following conversation occurred me can you tell me how to get to the alamo dome clerk okay where are you coming from fabulous that's great maybe he met it on more of a where yeah like where are you coming from what's your thing

what's your motivation to go to the Alamo Dome where do you what do you want to get from the Alamo Dome we've been five years at the Alamo Dome and then finally we have one from John B I enjoyed it not exactly an overheard

because I was in the conversation but judging by the strange looks coming from the people next to us, I'm surely they left with a good overheard. Talking to a cousin of mine on the topic of meeting women in a college town. Me, women professors, how exactly do you propose that I meet a professor? Cousin. Hmm. Well, you could find out what charity she's involved in and then just show up at one of their functions like if she supports a save the fur trade charity you could show up wearing all kinds of cool fur and then when you meet her she'd probably be like

wow is that a mink wow that is the worst advice. That is the worst ever. That never works, by the way. That's not a charity at all. That's not a charity. Nobody would ever be at the Save the Fur Trade. No. And seriously, if you're getting lucky with Is That a Mink, then you know what?

You're a player. Right? That's it right there. If you ever walked up to me and said, Is That a Mink? I'd say, No, it's a minks. Oh. I'd call you a saucy minx before anything. That's my go-to.

Also, why is there a people are after this class of women, female professors? Is that something? Is that a sex trade? They're making a comeback. They sell them at Whole Foods now. That's what I'm going as is Halloween, a female professor. Sexy female professor. I think

you are wearing your costume a little early, sir. A nice tweed jacket. A pipe and a pipe. Carrying around, yeah. Lady in a tie. What type of book? A stack of books, maybe? A text book.

With a belt holding them together. I'm a professor from the, like, the 40s. From the 1810s. Like a World War II professor. I saw there's a laptop case that comes with a little belt that you're supposed to carry like that. But who wants to swing around their laptop? Yeah, and that was an indication that you were too poor for a bag, wasn't it? That you were having your dad's belts around books uh no i don't know it was the equivalent now as if they came out with a plastic

bag looking thing for your laptop to be in yeah no i think it was so you could like you know what i mean like like yeah you know it just wasn't like an accessory that you would carry while in your other hand you had one of those sticks that you were using to move along oh that was a kerchief on the end um you know with your mouse and your cords and everything like that can you imagine um do you remember did you ever like you have the bring lunch from home for school did you always eat at a cafeteria oh no i always always did you do you remember the worst thing was when every once in a while you'd get the bread bag? Every now and again you'd get the bread bag for lunch. Remember that?

That was the worst day. That was always the worst day. You're like, oh, bread bag. We always had the plastic grocery bags with three of them sitting on the counter. We had paper bags. Actual paper bags. But the actual old-timey style. With lunch bags.

With each of us had our name written on them. My mother did the same thing. We'd make four lunches and we'd each get one. I'd always know mine because I'd get two puddings. You? That's what I'd say. I got an extra pudding for going to school. Your parents loved you most.

Yeah. That's what it is. We have called in. We do. If you would like to write us, our phone number is. We have called in. If you would like to write us, our phone number is StopPodcastingYourself. Wait a second. Start over again. Everything about that was wrong.

If you would like to write us, write our phone number down, cross it out, type in our email address, StopPodcastingYourselfatgmail.com. If you would like to telephone us on your telephone. It's 206-339-8328. Hey, Dave and Graham.

This is Joe from Omaha, Nebraska. I am calling in with an overheard. I work at a Mexican restaurant here in town as a host, at a Mexican restaurant here in town as a host, and I was seating a couple in our back room area on a busy night, and as I was walking back to the front of the restaurant, I heard I don't know, six or seven say to her brother Oh yes you didn't! Oh yes you didn't! Fantastic! Out of the mouths of babes.

Yeah, that's good. So close to being a burn, but not really. Oh yes you didn't! She'll learn. That's awesome. Yeah, that's good. So close to being a burn, but not really. So close. Yes, you did. She'll learn. That's great. Next one. All right.

Hi, Dave and Graham. This is Aubrey, the Brooklyn Bumper, formerly of California. I just haven't overheard for you. I'm walking down 7th Avenue in Prospect Park Slope, and I heard a mother and a daughter getting an argument. They're walking two dogs and the mother says, or the

daughter says, I'm not going to sit around and just watch Pocahontas. And the mother says, Hocus Pocus is a wonderful Halloween movie. Oh my god. They had no idea what they were talking about at all. And they were walking down parks

But well no Hocus Pocus probably is a wonderful Halloween movie Yeah I've seen it What is Hocus Pocus? That's Bette Midler and Nicole Kidman Is Kathy Najimy in it? Who's that?

Kathy Najimy is in it She Is Kathy Najimy in it? Who's that? Kathy Najimy is in it. She was on Veronica's Closet. Oh, yeah, that's right. Yeah, she's married to the Dan Band. She's been to the whole thing. She believes in polygamy. But which one? So that's about, it's like they're witches, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's the one with Nicole Kidman and Sandra Bullock? That's Practical Magic. Practical Magic. With the witches. But like, you know, pretty ones. Pretty witches. They were half-tops

and, you know, kiss boys. Witches of Eastwick. Witches of Eastwick is a movie I watch non-stop. I was about to say Batman. What's the one about the craft? What did you say?

Okay, I'm thinking, what's the one with Meryl Streep where she gets shot in the stomach? Death Becomes Her. Who is she? Bruce Willis and Bette Midler again?

No, it's... I want to say Shelley Long. Am I wrong? No, it's Bette Midler. No, it's not Bette Midler. Meryl Streep. She had red hair in the movie. Yeah, that's why.

This is the worst. It was a Zemeckis film by Bobby Zemeckis. I can see her face. Goldie Hawn. Thank you. I don't need to look it up, dude. I got it. It would have helped you

if we only had the letters O, H, and W. Yeah, you would have had it. Faster than that. I love this. You would have had it. You would have had it. Do you hate me for telling you that? Faster than that. Faster than that. I think it's a gift. Is there one more? I love this. You get a lot of people writing our phone numbers.

We do, yeah. That's fantastic. From all over the world. That's great. Yeah. Because that'll be, you know, I don't need to explain this to you, but it's like, you know what it is. That'll be your thing.

That's awesome. That's great. It will be our thing. This is episode 138. It's our thing. It's great. It's great. That's wonderful.

It's cemented. Yeah, I like it. Hey, Dave and Graham, this is Nicole. In case I hadn't overheard while walking down the street, two girls behind me were talking about food to eat and the one girl says to the

other girl, yeah, Taco Bell may have good burritos, but if you want real, authentic Mexican food, it's Taco Time. El Taco time. El taco time. That is fantastic. Okay, are most of your overheards by teenage girls?

I wish. We have a teenage... I'm trying to meet a lot of professors. Yeah. Female professors. That's your way in. We do have a lot of teenagers because we get a lot of

in biology class this happened and I find kids are so angsty kids say the darndest things they do and the angstiest that's funny now this episode will be coming out

after what when would you say November I would say November 1st-y so November 1st-y ish what would you have to plug

coming up after November 1st after November 1st okay all it's all Ontario stuff but I am going to be doing a lovely big show

at a theater in Ottawa called the Centrepoint Theatre and I say it because that's how it's spelled so it makes me feel like I have to say it Frenchy but that's it called the Centrepointe Theater. And I say it because that's how it's spelled. So it makes me feel like I have to say it Frenchy. But that's it.

Yes. The Centrepointe Theater on November 25th. And it's just me. It's a big room. Please come. It'll be great. Yeah. I'm looking forward to it.

And then I also have a show in Kingston, Ontario on November 4th as well. Cool. And that's at Time to Laugh. And that's the website. Time to Laugh. Time to Laugh. Time to Laugh.ca. And then it's CentrepointeTheater.com.

Yeah. CentrepointeTheater.com. And that's where they would go for laugh.ca. And then it's centerpointtheater.com. Yeah, centerpointtheater.com. And that's where they would go for tickets. French spelling. So it's R-E-R-E. It's the Canadian spelling. Yeah, exactly. The Canadian spelling. Exactly.

Centerpoint here, I think there's some clinics that are called Centerpoint. Yes. All right. So this is, I will not be giving any needles. Or I might be. You don't know. You bring them. I'll do it.

Go there. I'm not certified, but I'll give it a go. Very accommodating. Yeah. Very nice. I got immunized by Debra D.G. That'd be fantastic. And if people want to find you online, it's...

Yes. DebraDG.com. D-E-B-R-A-D-G.com. Perfect. Yeah. And Darcy, do you have anything you want to promote coming up in November? I will be in Cancun, Mexico the first week of November. So all our Mexican listeners.

Yeah. You can come and bring me tequila. You'll be eating a lot of taco time, I assume. I will be having taco time. That will be the name of the picture album I'll post on Facebook after. Oh, I love it. Yeah. Have you been to Cancun before?

No, I've never. I actually have a sandphobia, so I'm actually kind of freaked out about going there. You know who else has a sandphobia? Sandy Vaginas. Sandy Vaginas. That's why I'm gay. You would have figured. And not a plug for the show exactly,

but Paul F. Tompkins will be in Vancouver in November exciting November 12th 13th thank you I got my tickets

at the Rio Theater I got my tickets as well it's a great venue for him as well and it's going to be amazing at the Rio Theater it's a movie theater that sometimes has live shows

nice nice nice he's wonderful he's amazing and it really is it's a super cheap ticket to see probably one of the greatest comedians working today.

I'm impressed with him because he does that, right? He goes to smaller places and keeps the tickets nice and cheap. It's $18 if you're even online. Wowee.

$18. Very impressive. That's fantastic. That's what you pay at the club to see us. Debra. Which is well worth it.

Which is well worth it. Which is well worth it. But like, I'm actually, I'm quite surprised. Well, he, I know that he likes to keep the ticket price low

so that people can come out and see him and it's very well worth seeing. What's the Rio hold? Three or four hundred. Three or four hundred. So, you know. Keeps it small.

That's great. But get your tickets because I think it's going to sell out. Nice. You can get your tickets because I think it's going to sell out you can get your tickets at DarcyMichael.com just hit the PayPal link send the $18

do you have a PayPal link on your website? I'm going to now I got tickets to sell I was at a band webpage and they have just a donate to the band nice

bold but I've only ever seen that on podcast webpages no no I have a band webpage and they have just a donate to the band. Oh, nice. But I've only ever seen that on podcast webpages. No, I have like links to iTunes and stuff like that but you get a product,

a lovely product. Nice. It's a link to Debra's season. Dave, do you have anything you want to promote? Probably not.

All right. Well then, thank you so much for being a guest. Thank you so much. And thanks for coming back. Thanks for letting right. Well, then, thank you so much for being a guest. Oh, it's been a delight. Thank you so much. And thanks for coming back. Thanks for letting me. Oh, our pleasure.

And thanks, everybody, for listening. And if you enjoyed the show, tell your friends. And come on back next week for another spooktacular. Nah, we'll be out of that mode. Christmas-centric, remember-y episode of stop podcasting yourself