Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 154 - Katie-Ellen Humphries

Episode Date: February 22, 2011

Comedian Katie-Ellen Humphries returns to talk musicals, murder, and how to steal a cop's gun.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 154 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man whose cover of the Febreze advertising jingle is to die for, Mr. Dave Shumka. Oh, doggie on the chair is not thrilling me. I'm obsessed with that song.

Yeah, we were trying to figure out who the guy In the commercial is, you say he's a comedian from LA Yeah, but he's, I don't remember his name His, that smells gross face Is one of the best in the biz Yeah These boots fit well, but they are killing me Oh, oh, oh, no, no, no, no

Alright, let's get on with the show And our guest today Returning guest, very funny lady, a comedian here in Vancouver, Miss Katie Ellen Humphries. Hey, gang. Yeah, hey, thanks for coming back on the podcast. My pleasure. I would otherwise not know about that little ditty that Dave sang. Oh.

Do you want to get to know us? I sure do. Get to know us. So what's new? What's going on? I ran into you on the way over here We walked over here together Yes, thank goodness Beautiful sunny day in Vancouver

Yeah And yeah, you brought scones Very polite That's how Well, how do you say it? I say scones, but some people say scones Scones Like a wall scones Some people say's how. Well, how do you say it? I say scones, but some people say scones. Scones. Like a wall of scones.

Some people say yogurt. No. Yeah, the British, they call it yogurt. Why don't we? I don't know. Yeah, because we do a lot of British things. The British also call them condoms when they say condom. How do they say gogurt for gogurt?

Yeah, because that's like a pun, like get up and gogurt. Yeah, you gogurt. gogurt yeah because that's like a pun like get up and gogurt yeah you gogurt talk to the hand so much sass so uh what's new what's going on what's exciting uh this week has been action-packed uh for me i've been all over the pacific northwest why is that why why do you travel so much all over the pacific northwest why is that i uh i'm a nomad i can't be pinned down yeah uh last weekend my brother and i went to seattle yeah uh partly to celebrate my birth oh right hello yeah hello birthday you aged Hello, birthday. You aged. What did you do in Seattle? On Friday, we ended up getting walk-up tickets to the Broadway musical Rock of Ages. Oh, that's a jukebox musical. It's a jukebox musical.

Did it at one point have, or maybe still does, have one of the American Idol guys in it? Yes. Damien. It still does. No. Well, perhaps it used to have a guy named Damien. It now has Constance.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was trying to think of the Greek-ish guy. Oh, you know what Greek is famous for? Yogurt. Oh, yeah. That's true. Yeah. Constantine. Constantine. That's right. Yes. He was great. He really belted out those metal hits

And so Rock of Ages, did they try to construct some sort of narrative around the songs Or is it just a sequence of songs? They did try, the worst part, the best part of the musical of course is the songs They're excellent The worst part is that they tried to construct this narrative but through a narrator Oh part is that they they tried to construct this narrative but through a narrator oh as if they like and his job was to make sure that we knew that they knew that this was silly oh okay okay and so everyone else was in this like real world and he put on that this awful Broadway theater voice. And he'd be like, it can't be a Broadway musical without a love interest.

Cue love interest. Like I couldn't have put together when she walks out to Cherry Pie that she might be the female lead. So it's that kind of era of music. The late 80s, early 90s. Mid to late 80s LA. Yeah.

Wow. But it was also ironic? Like, is that what they were going for? Weird. Yes. But were the people there who were seeing it, were they in on the irony or were they just having a good time? It's a strange, it was a strange mix for sure.

I think because America insists on maintaining a really old drinking age, there was a lot, on maintaining a really old drinking age. There was a lot. There was more than I would have expected between like 18 and 20. Because like, what else am I going to do? And they were really dressed up. Like it was like the opera kind of, but like skanky. Yeah.

And then there were women kind of in their like early 40s who were... Teased hair. Yeah, who had dressed throwback, like big groups of them that had got together to relive their Sunset Strip days. And then there were people that just go to musicals at the Paramount. A lot of them left at intermission.

Oh, wow. Yeah. The white glove crowd. Sure, yeah, The opera glasses crowd. I really love the notion that in America, because of the drinking age, the most popular activity is going to see musicals. Yeah, of course it is. We drink cough medicine and we go to see musicals.

Sure, yeah. We inhale keyboard cleaner and then we go see musicals. musicals. We inhale keyboard cleaner and then we go see musicals. I saw an ad for a musical that's coming to Vancouver and it's the Legally Blonde musical. And they just have the one line from one song that they keep playing

over and over in the musical. And it's, uh, Doggy on the chair, stop drilling me. It's, oh my god, oh my God, you guys. That's all. Do you think, will they use the song, that Perfect Day song that's in the opening credits to Legally Blonde? It's like a pop song. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Seems like that would be the opening number. It's not the Lou Reed song from the Trainspotting soundtrack. That's so downtrodden. Yeah. No, I really wonder about that because there was nothing musical about the movie and if they're going to do that movie, why not

what was the Sandra Bullock where she's an FBI? Oh, I thought Miss Congeniality. Good call. What about the one where she gets hit by the train? No, where the guy gets hit by the train. Oh, 28 Days. No. While you were sleeping.

While you were sleeping, yeah. Anyway, back to this Rock of Ages musical. All right. Yeah, yeah. Thumbs? I definitely loved it. But I have a weird nostalgia for that time period, even though that's impossible that i could possibly be reverent for i was like three tops i couldn't get down to la now what what uh is the big closing

number what do they be using their call go can we guess you may guess living on a prayer no oh paradise city living on a prayer oh i'm sorry come Come on. Oh, that's what they do at intermission because they're halfway there. Yeah. Yeah, there was a lot of Bon Jovi. What was your... Oh, here. You said it would be obvious. Here I go again on my own?

Is that... Oh, no, no, no. Journey, is it the other Journey song? I don't remember anything. They end on Journey, Don't Stop Believing. Don't Stop Believing. Don't Stop Believing! Oh, yeah, of course, of course. And they make an announcement at the beginning of the show.

To not stop believing. Right, don't. Don't even think about stopping. Don't pause believing. Don't hesitate before believing. To keep in the kind of ironic theme, they have one of those awful, like, trying to be in character, turn your cell phone off announcements. And they're like, and if the theater burns down to the ground, don't think about singing Def Leppard's Pyromania because they didn't give us the rights to their songs.

Like, I can't believe you're sour about that. You launched a musical called Rock of Ages. They just released a double album of all their songs called Rock of Ages, featuring their hit song, Rock of Ages. You know a lot about Def Leppard. Wow. It's true. Yeah, you do. You know, so why do you have a nostalgia for a time that you weren't really,

like, you weren't really present for that time? You were a little kid, right? Are you guys having the impression that that time wasn't awesome? I mean, the videos make it look like it was awesome. It was pretty awesome. But I'm a big cocaine fan. Yeah, and I like Tawny Katane in a car. I like cocaine, he likes Tawny Katane in a car. I like cocaine. He likes Tawny Katane.

She was on something. Wasn't she on one of those reality shows, like a rehab show or something? She was on The Surreal Life. Oh, that's right. Yeah, she didn't fare well. Which was, for a time, the only reason I wanted to become famous. Was? So that I could fall from grace.

Oh, right. And subsequently be on this real life. So you could meet Tawny Katane and co-host America's Funniest People with her. Yeah. No funny, no money. That was all she said during the whole show, wasn't it? Well, she said, let's look at a clip of the jackalope. Another thrilling installment.

How come that show never got its own show? Yeah. People loved it right i feel like nowadays with all the channels that there would have been a spinoff yeah well people out there enterprising uh people out there yeah go tour all you need is a stuffed rabbit and a pair of antlers yeah antlers and uh and and just make a call to dave coulier to ask him to do some voices over the phone. Yeah. Hey, can you call my friend's answering machine and read this script? He will be glad to oblige.

So what else? You went down to Seattle. You saw a musical. You hung out. You had a birthday. I did, yeah. So Friday night we saw the musical. And Saturday night we saw Social Distortion.

Social D! Yeah! And their new musical. That's right. American Idiot. And then on Sunday, which is the anniversary of my birth, I performed at a show called Weird and Awesome with Emma Montgomery. Oh, great. And I believe you two... Friend of the program.

Yeah, have met that gentleman, and so you will know that the oh i thought you said emma no emmet yep okay the weird and awesome emma montgomery well that's cool yeah what a great weekend it was it was really great and that was your birthday is the day before valentine's day that's true yeah romantic birthday it's your gift to yourself. It's having survived another year. Yeah. And so you went there. Where else in the Pacific Northwest? You said you've been all over. All over. Well, then I was back

to Vancouver on Monday morning to come back and do Comedy Now Showcase. Oh, how'd that go? I think fine. I never. Showcases are fun. These are some jokes I'm kind of tired fine i never yeah six minutes showcases are fun yeah these are some jokes i'm kind of tired of and my favorite thing about showcases is that all like the uh high pressure comedy stuff in vancouver happens around the same time there's a big comedy

competition there's a couple of showcases that happen every year around january february yeah and that's it and And then you rest. You hibernate until it's time to come out and get more comedy berries. And then you feel bad because the next year comes around and you haven't written any new jokes. Yeah, for our American listeners, comedy now is, is it

some kind of equivalent to Comedy Central Presents? Yeah, it's a half hour comedy special yeah um you've done an hour yes yeah an hour one years and years ago and uh yeah you know i don't know i never see them that's the thing i know people go and record them but then i never see the like do they show them or do they just record them and that's oh i know they take like two years between the time they record them and they actually air them yeah so all the george bush material i wrote really out of date by the time it aired um george bush the first yeah do you guys remember when he barfed on that japanese guy remember no new taxes read my lips, etc.

Dave, what's going on with you lately? I've been bouncing around the Northwest. No, I have been, this weekend, do you guys hear a crying child? Okay, I don't know if the mic's picked it up. I hope so. Gives it a ghostly quality.

This weekend, I've been performing at the comedy mix in Vancouver and you came down on Thursday night I just came down for the mix like a bridge mix a Chex mix bits and bytes the first night was the Thursday show

and I went there and I parked my car a couple blocks away from the club. And I went and I did a set. And I came back and my car was in a taped off police area. Yeah, there was a gangland shooting. Yeah, a murder. Most foul. Candlesticks everywhere. Everyone's a suspect.

And I go there and my car's in the the taped off area and i go up to a policeman and i say do i have to wait till you guys are done to get my car back or how do i get my car back and he said no you just have to fill out a witness report says that you didn't do the murder saying when you parked your car where you parked your car describe your car and then say where you went in the time where you were away from your car right and i was like okay uh and the uh he he took me over to this woman who who was in charge of all the witness reports and she had this huge stack of them and i was like okay this woman's not gonna read read my witness report so i wrote i parked my car at eight o'clock uh then i went over uh walked over to the club on barard and i performed stand-up comedy from nine o'clock to 9 25 it went pretty well the audience was pretty responsive uh there was one

woman who was kind of obnoxious and she was heckling, but all in all, it was a pretty good show. And then I returned to my car at 9.30. And then I described my car and all that. And I give it to her. And I'm like, she's got this stack. She's not going to read them.

She immediately started reading mine. And I'm like, I was just having fun. Maybe she had got this stack. She's not going to read them. She immediately starts reading mine. And I'm like, oh, I was just having fun. Maybe she had some fun, too. No, she laughed. She liked it. No, that's good. I think she was in a bad mood and it cheered her up. That's murders will do that.

Yeah. You know? Apparently he, this is what I read in the paper, because when I walked out of the club, they had taped off that whole block. And some guy, some guy asked me, too. I was trying to look and see if I could see that whole block and some guy some guy asked me too i was i was trying to look and see if i could see anything and then some guy said what happened and i'm like well there's only one reason ever that cops tape off uh somebody lost their wallet why do you contact uh but yeah he like he like the guy was shot and then he stumbled into a subway.

Yeah. Yeah. That must have been, that probably was the most exciting shift ever. Although he was shot less than a block from a hospital and he chose to go to a subway. Yeah. He said, well, they've got the brighter sign than the hospital. The hospital sign's kind of muted. And you know that the hospital's full of those death panels yeah that's right in our country they probably would

have uh yeah judged to just let him die yeah uh but the uh it was kind of like when i got the witness report uh and i had to fill it out i i felt this rush of like i i i was happy because i knew i didn't murder anyone yeah i knew i didn't witness anything and um like i had a totally awesome alibi millions of people saw me well millions is high uh a hundred people saw me and um i knew i just couldn't get in trouble that doesn't put me at ease around uh authority figures at all what that you couldn't get in trouble. That doesn't put me at ease around authority figures at all. What? That you couldn't get in trouble? I know.

I am pathologically incapable of breaking rules, and yet crossing the border, or even a traffic stop, like just a breathalyzer, those kinds of things. Yeah, yeah. I'm just beside myself. I'm so anxious. Really? Yeah. Just because you're in the presence of an authority?

Have you ever done a breathalyzer? No, of course not. I drive a station wagon. I have dimples. I'm drunk all the time. Constantly. Even at the portal, they'll often say, why are you so nervous? You seem nervous.

Do you have someone to be nervous about? And then I say, well, I often come off as nervous. And then I was thinking about that. And that made me kind of nervous. I didn't want you to be nervous about and then i say well i thought i often come off as nervous and then i was thinking about that and that made me kind of nervous i didn't want you to think that i was nervous and i got pretty nervous oh do the border guards go oh that's cute shucks they say uh but uh the other thing that happened to me this week is I got this in the mail. And it's the worst offer I've ever gotten from anything ever. Oh, yeah. What is it? It's from Shaw, my internet and television and phone provider.

And I give them over $100 a month. Yep. And they've never done anything for me. But they sent me this in the mail. It said, there's a movie waiting in your TV, and it's on us. I thought, oh, I get a free movie.

Any movie I choose. Nope. Here's what you need to do to access this movie. Press the Shaw On Demand button on your remote. Yeah. Use the arrow to scroll down to the wish list and press OK. Select The Sorcerer's Apprentice. Yeah.

Already there. Already done that. Press OK and enjoy your movie. So that's for my 10 years of of loyal uh uh patron service yeah whatever paying them for things they gave me that movie it hasn't been patronage it's patronizing yeah that's why they sent you yeah it's like we're both patronizing each other here's your movie sorcerer's apprentice um does that movie have anything to do with the other disney sorcer Here's your movie, Sorcerer's Apprentice. Does that movie have anything to do with the other Disney

Sorcerer's Apprentice movie with Mickey Mouse and the Walking Brooms? Probably. It's a Disney, I think it's a Disney property. Yeah, but isn't Nicholas Cage in it? And Jay Baruchel? Is he the apprentice? Is he the Trotsky?

Yeah. No. Is that movie at all related to the John C. Reilly vampire apprentice thing or vampire's assistant? The vampire's assistant? You're laughing like that's not a movie. I don't think it's called the vampire's

assistant. What is it? I've never seen them need assistants. Yeah, well, I don't know. The vampire's assistant makes it is it? I've never seen them need assistance. Yeah, well, I don't know. I don't... The vampire's assistant makes it sound like he's going out. Oh, can you pick up... Pick up my cape from the dry cleaner's? Yeah, they're only open during daylight hours. I can't go.

A vampire needs the most assistance. That's true. Fix my mirror. It's not working. Yeah, comb my hair for me because I can't see my reflection. Yeah. Taste this food, see if there's garlic in it. Cover up my glittery body somehow.

Don't make anything into a cross. I guess that's something you don't really need an assistant for. Nothing just gets made into a cross. Popsicle sticks when you put the yarn around it and make those Christmas decorations. Do you know what I'm talking about? Yeah. Can talking about dream catchers um yeah well so did you take them up on their offer can i take them up on that offer i don't think so oh what you had to be sent a thing well i think it's only in my box maybe it's in your box can i watch watch it at your house? Yes. Yes. Compromise.

Cool. Well, so you've had a big week. Sure, yeah. You've had a bigger week than I've had. Oh, tell me about it. Yeah, well, I didn't get an invitation to watch any Sorcerer's Apprentice. I didn't go to Seattle. You didn't witness a murder.

No. You know, I walked around the scene of the murder, but nobody wanted to talk to me about it, except that one dude who wanted to know what was going on. I didn't want to talk to him. Yeah, well, like I say, not much has gone on for me except that, remember last week

we were talking about that guy who sent the Arliss, who sent us... The wedding pictures? No, you found his website and it had wedding pictures with Tommy Chong officiating yeah like Tommy Chong was marrying him and his wife

and I thought but there was no like caption like here's why this picture exists and so it perplexed me and so we talked about it last week and a couple weeks ago we talked about it last week and uh a couple weeks ago we talked was it a couple weeks i thought it was last week no i think it was a couple weeks goodness gracious anyways arliss finally got back to us about it oh someone else got back about something too we'll do

that also before the overheard wonderful sorry sorry for jumping in no don't worry um forgot about that this is the explanation and it's a simple one. He's my wife's uncle. Her mom's sister has been with Tommy for over 40 years. He lives in L.A. but comes up regularly for holidays. Early last year, we were at his house and asked if we could use his backyard to host the wedding. He went one further and volunteered his service as a fishient, which he did an awesome job. So there you go um yeah so that but uh is he able to officiate well that's the ps in perfect chong fashion it turns out his credentials

are a little bit less than legal in the province of bc and we had to get married again uh so um but yeah it was just one of those things where it was just like, it was so out of time and space. Tommy Chong doesn't seem like he'd get nervous crossing the border. Like, he bounces back from LA to Vancouver all the time, and yet you get nervous. And he's been in jail. Yeah, you get nervous, and you aren't even a legendary drugger. Not at all. And like, crazy scenarios.

Like, they're like, oh, what if they search my car and they find drugs like like drug dealers are constantly just stashing thousands of dollars of black tar heroin in someone's toyota tercel like you bought a car that was the place where they stashed their stash after a drug robbery or like your uh your trunk is just so filthy that it's the perfect growing environment for opiates. Oh, I have a garden of poppies in my trunk. I didn't intend on it. Yeah, well, I mean, crossing the border makes us all nervous, right? You get nervous, I get nervous.

I get uncomfortable if there's police officers at the Starbucks. Oh, well, I think that's excessive. What do you think is the worst case scenario? That you're going to look like somebody who did something? Or what is the scenario that plays out in your head? I can't. I have no idea. It's so illogical. I can't. I have no idea.

It's so illogical. Why do... It seems that police officers have moved to Starbucks and away from the donut shops. Mm-hmm. Oh, because, you know. Walk like an Egyptian. No, but I... That was dumb. I apologize to the entire Bengals family.

They're one of our primary supporters sure yeah um i saw there's a guy i went to to university with who is now a police officer in vancouver and i i had only heard that this was the case and i had actually seen him a few times and did you think he'd become a cop like he was always listening to the police things like that right um a lot of 80s hits on this show yeah uh but uh i'd seen him a few times out of uniform and and uh talked to him uh but it was weird seeing him in uniform at the starbucks with like three other cops there's like i do i pretend not to know him do it when am i gonna get in trouble is he gonna say my name is he gonna call me by my last name and make me pick up garbage by the side of the road? Well, because like, what, I guess I've pictured that scenario as well, where like, you say

the wrong thing, and then they get, and then it escalates in a crazy fashion. And then all of a sudden you're in jail for like, I don't know what, assaulting an officer or something. Is that how it escalates in a crazy fashion and then all of a sudden you're in jail for like i don't know what assaulting an officer or something is that how it escalates does it start off with like uh uh hey dave how's it going what are you gonna get oh some bacon damn it because you're a pig oh no i don't mean that yeah exactly like that and then you take his gun out of his holster. I've never seen one of these. I'm close.

That's the one thing I've always noticed, is any time that I'm within reaching distance of a police officer, I really want to try and grab his gun and see how far I could get. Probably not far at all. You mean run away with it? No, no, no. How far I would get to grabbing the gun. Would I actually get. Probably not far at all. You mean run away with it? No, no, no. How far I would get to grabbing the gun.

Would I actually get to the gun? You'd have to unsnap the... The snap, yeah. I'd have to go in with both hands. One hand on the... Yeah. Not that fast. You'd have to do it

with a cop who was holding a baby. Like a cop who's running for mayor and he's kissing the baby? Yeah. Because he doesn't want to drop that baby in front of the cameraman. And then you get the gun.

Yeah. And you run away. Then I start a race. Oh. Yeah. See, I don't want to shoot anybody. Yeah, you just want to... You do want to shoot a gun, though.

Have you ever? Yes. It's great fun. Hmm? No, it's not. No? It's very jarring. It is j fun. No, it's not. No? It's very jarring. It is jarring.

I'll give you that. Katie? Guns? No. No. I, meh. No? Loud noises.

I don't. Loud noises. Cops. Borders. Yeah, what, let's go through. What do you like? Those are my three favorite things. What are your, let's go through your uh anxieties

i don't know that we have the time sure no i can prescribe stuff so yeah i'm pretty afraid of quicksand that's silly oh yeah quicksand i am not i mean i would be if it was around i'd be terrified of it it seems like it was a dramatic uh device device in a lot of TV and movies, you know, 10, 15 years ago. Yeah, definitely. Free Darman Gregg. Sure, yeah. That's what you're saying.

When Gregg's character solved the crisis. What's his port cement in them? There you go. Yeah, what is quicksand? It's like water with mud on top And then you fall in it And then it sucks you in somehow The more you struggle, the more it sucks you in And every time you try and get out

It pulls you back Yeah, it's like the mafia Yeah, but you're not afraid of it existing You'd be afraid of it if you were in a place that had it Yeah Like it doesn't keep you up at night It doesn't keep me up at night But it's still on my list but it's like it doesn't keep you up at night it doesn't keep me up at night but it's still on my list and it's ridiculous I'm that's I live in an urban environment it's on my it's

on my list of five celebrities I'm allowed to have sex with quicksand a cop at Starbucks Christina Hendricks uh but do you ever have you ever been to a tropical country? No, sir. Are you afraid of bugs and stuff? Like the idea of a scorpion being around? I hadn't given it much thought. Well, chew on that. A scorpion that can shoot quicksand at you.

Speaking of scorpions, was Rocky like a hurricane in that musical? You're darn right it was. All right. So was Def Leppard the only one that turned them down? Was there anything but just songs? I hear there was a narrator, but it seems to me like they jam-packed every song. There was a lot

of songs. There were some cool things where they would give traditionally, they'd give a Pat Benatar song to a dude, and a traditional male song to a chick. So there was some fun. Did a chick sing Cherry Pie? That would have blown my mind.

No, I lost it. Also, something that somebody responded to, Julie, something we were talking about way back, episode 143. But she was saying in France, French braids are called African braids.

So everywhere else they're called French braids. Right, right, right. But in the home, what were we talking about that brought that up? I don't remember. No, Canadian bacon? We call it back bacon. Back bacon, or just ham, right?

Oh, yeah, maybe we do. Is ham and Canadian bacon? We call it back bacon. Back bacon, or just ham, right? Oh yeah, maybe we do. Is ham and Canadian bacon the same thing? Canadian bacon isn't like what anybody anywhere in Canada would consider bacon. Right. Just bacon bacon is bacon, but Canadian bacon is like a ham thing, right? Am I wrong about that? But a Canadian tuxedo is a jean jacket and jeans yeah but everywhere else in the world the canadian tuxedo is a tuxedo manufactured in canada sure yeah

of fur of beaver pelts but in canada we i think we're the only ones who call it a canadian tuxedo but we also call a regular tuxedo a tuxedo. Yeah. But that's, yeah. So if you are getting married and you say, I'm wearing a tuxedo, it would just be an American tuxedo. Sure, yeah.

But if you said, I'm wearing a Canadian tuxedo, it would be a less formal affair. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. You would walk up the aisle to dude looks like a lady, perhaps. Probably something more Canadian. Maybe Tom Sawyer.

Oh! What would you walk up the aisle to? In your Canadian tuxedo. In my Canadian tuxedo. In your denim wedding dress. Something by Loverboy, maybe? Oh, good call. Yeah.

Working for the weekend? Yeah. You'd have to have it on a friday sure so everybody gets the joke um it's not a joke weddings are not a joke right guys yeah no i'm planning one right now and uh oh speaking of which uh a gentleman uh sent in uh sent to us a website where you can download specific musical arrangements of the Jurassic Park. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what we're planning. Semi-seriously. Yeah.

For the wedding. Now, a few weeks ago, one of our listeners paid to have a personal message on the show about Valentine's Day to wish her Valentine a happy Valentine's Day. And the man in question heard the episode on Valentine's Day. Oh, romantic! And he called in with his reaction. Oh, this is going to be possibly horrible or great. Hey guys, this is Gavin in Pittsburgh.

I just wanted to let you know that due to an exceptionally busy week last week, I didn't get around to listening to the episode until today, Valentine's Day. The day so far has been precious. Thank you very much for the announcement. Super awesome. And hope you guys are doing well. I'm a gentleman, so I

won't let you know how the night goes and whether or not it too is precious. Anyways, keep up the good work. And talk to you later. He rocked the sheets. That's what it sounds like to me. Or he was planning on it. Yeah, oh, that's true. Yeah.

He won't call back and tell us how good the sex was. Is that what he was implying? Yeah. But I think it's implied that he did have mad sex. Oh, man. I wish I knew so I could have thought about it all the time. Well. I wish I could have astral projected.

Sure. Anything else we need to cover? Wait, we talked about some stranger sex life. Katie's fear of cops. My love of cops guns. Oh, and the Febreze theme song. And your offer to watch the Sorcerer's Apprentice. Or the Vampire's Assistant.

It's the assistant to the vampire. Do you not believe that that's a thing? The Vampire's Assistant? Yeah. Or was it Assistant Vampire? It was promoted to Assistant Vampire. No, it's VP. Vampire President.

VP in charge of... Vampire Consultant. All right, let's move on to Overheard. I know the movie you're talking about, but I don't think it was called The Vampire's Assistant, but I could be wrong. Oh, it was Cirque du Freak presents The Vampire's Assistant.

I think it was Cirque du Freak. What is Cirque du Freak? I don't know, it's like the poor man's national lampoon. Okay, Overheard. Overheard. Overherds. Overherds. Overherds. Ooverherds.

Somebody wrote to us to correct the way we said oover. No. Yeah. How did we say it? I don't know. Probably like a couple of jackasses. It's oover. Oover.

Shavra. Oover. Who's oeuvre. Oeuvre. Chevre. Oeuvre. Who's got that kind of nerve? Oh, I don't know. Maybe a school teacher? We've got a chiropractor that listens to the show. Oh, fun. Yeah, that is fun, right?

Do they listen with headphones on while they chiropract? Yeah, because the cracking sound makes them nauseous. Is that a verb to chiropract? Yeah. Man, I totally just chiropract my back. Lifting furniture at my chiropractor's office. Overherds. That must be intimidating, to move furniture around a chiropractor's office.

Oh, man, because he'd be like, back straight, back straight! Yeah, yeah. To be delivering the couch that everyone lies on when they confess their sins. Is that what a'm trying to remember? I was thinking of the vampire's assistant. Because the blood tastes better after you've confessed your sins. Yep, understood. Okay, overheards.

A segment wherein people, with their human ears, listen to things, or with their human eyes, see things, and then report them back to us. What if they've had, like, a transplant? An ear transplant? An animal ear. So, say they have a dolphin ear. Yeah. Or a hawk eye. Dolphins are known for their hearing.

I guess they must be, because they make noises. Yeah, and they can echolocate. Like Echo, the dolphin. echolocate, like Echo the dolphin. And we always like to start with the guest. Katie, do you have an overheard? Yeah, I guess. I've got a couple of overheards. I overhear things with my human ears.

Oh, so you've got more than one. I do. Okay, we'll start with you. We'll go around the horn. Then we'll come back to you. Then we'll go around the horn. Do-si-do. Then we'll. We'll go around the horn. Then we'll come back to you. Then we'll go around the horn. Do-si-do. We'll watch that TV show around the horn.

Is that a show? Yeah. It's based on Pardon the Interruption. Oh, okay. So many kids yelling in this neighborhood. I hate nice days. Okay, let's go back to you and your nice days. Okay.

So this overhe here comes from the BC Ferry Terminal on the Victoria side, going from Victoria to Vancouver. And there was a large group of people that I can only describe as a sect of the worst people ever.

This was a group, I've never seen this before ever. These were beer league lacrosse players. Oh, wow. I feel like you guys are picking up what's so awful about that. Regular lacrosse players are date rapey

and douchey, but they at least have athletic prowess. Sure, sure. So they've got abs to back up. And there's no professional slow pitch players. But there are professional lacrosse players.

So beer league lacrosse... Anyway. It makes you so angry. It did, and they were American. So I got the impression that they were not holding their Canadian beer that well, because they were shithoused.

You've got a lot of opinions on Americans drinking. Yeah, that's true. The drinking age. So there was this one trucker hat wearing no shirt guy. How do you know they were lacrosse players? Were they wearing all matching shirts? Did they all have their sticks? Well, not the shirtless guy. How do you know they were lacrosse players? Were they wearing all matching shirts? Did they all have their sticks? Well, not the shirtless guy. No, there was team gear around

and they had specific things that said Beer League Lacrosse. Oh, the BLL league. It was really explicit. I bet you their bags needed some Febrezing. That's my guess. And this gentleman leaned up real close to one of the gals and and he got right in her face, as only kind of a drunk douchebag can do.

And he said to her, after looking her up and down, he said, On a scale of one to ten, I want to lick your face. Well, get on the scale. Well, he might have been a dog that turned into a human for a day. Sure, yeah. I'd watch that movie. Lacrosse dog. A lot of sight gags.

Wow. And this was daylight? Oh, yeah, yeah. What time of year was it? Recently? It was summertime. Oh, okay. Oh, summertime, yeah. That explains the shirtless thing. Yeah, yeah. What time of year was it? Recently? It was summertime. Oh okay. Oh summertime.

That explains the shirtlessness. Yeah. That's where I got confused because if this was recently that would have been very obnoxious. Shirtless in February? Yeah it's chilly.

Mm-hmm. On a scale of one to ten. No thanks. Dave? Overheard? Okay. Last week last Sunday

I was sitting down to edit last week's podcast. That's your fun day, right? Yeah, wait, no. Mondays I find are kind of manic. Yeah. Yeah, Sunday is my fun day. Was that in Rockwitch? No, it's not rocking enough.

No. I was sitting down to edit the podcast, and outside this very window where we are now hearing screaming children, I heard a couple walk by, and I heard just five seconds of their conversation. And the woman said to the guy, Think of the kind of things that you say about me. And the guy was like, Oh, like you're crazy? And the woman goes, That I i'm crazy that i'm a psycho

bitch and that was all i got just those things hurt yeah just the casual list of things oh yeah that i'm crazy obviously i'm a psycho bitch wait i've written down a list of everything you've ever called me. Sure. So that was a nice little nugget of time. Yeah, mine comes courtesy of standing in line behind a couple of ladies at a place called Chronic Taco. That sounds like it probably would invite a lot of shirtless lacrosse players into it. I imagine during the summertime there's going to be a lot of... It's always jam-packed full of dudes. There's always dudes in there. And the ladies that I was standing behind, they both talked in that kind of Paris Hilton-esque,

that kind of kind of that paris hilton-esque um uh kind of heidi montag like super stupid way of talking where it's kind of like how do they have the money to buy a taco kind of dumb you know yeah because you'd expect them to be really poor like paris hilton yeah but everything was uh uh like that it was that kind of like oh okay well what are we gonna get uh like everything was preceded by a noise and everything was really drawn out and then at one point the girl pointed out uh a girl who was at paying at the cash and she was wearing rubber boots. And the one girl said, I really like her wellies. And then the other girl goes, wellies? They're not called wellies.

And then the other one said, yeah, they are. They're called wellies. And then the first girl says, why? Because you wear them in a well? And then they both started laughing so hard. Oh, Chronic Taco. Oh. Right?

I can never decide what to wear to a well. Sure. Well, it's pretty much made up for you, yeah. Wellies, you wear wellies. Yeah, you wear them in a well, idiot. They're short for Wellington, right? Yeah. I don't know. i just know it's not

any like the the girl was so incredulous about the fact that they were called wellies i are okay are rubber boots wellies and galoshes all the same all the same thing okay yeah just like a brelli an umbrella and a bummer shooter all the same thing. Because I've never, I just bought my first ever pair of rubber boots, which may or may not be galoshes. Oh, happy galosh. Thank you. Gesundheit. Now, we also have you doing a second one. I was about to move on, but I forgot.

No, excessive. Around the horn. Too much overhearing with my human ears. My second one is a favorite genre of overheards of mine, wherein you hear someone say something into a cell phone. Yes. I like that. And it was over Christmas in Victoria, and a gentleman downtown said, as he was ending his conversation, say hi to Brett and his lazy eye for me.

I love picturing Brett's lazy eye being like Brett? Who are you talking to? Was it Jason? Did he say anything to you? Because the lazy eye wouldn't be able to see who's saying hi So you move around to the lazy eye Or like

I just like separate greetings for people's maladies Say hi to Clubfoot for me Yeah, but I wonder if the guy did Yeah those maladies. Say hi to Club Foot for me. Yeah. But I wonder if the guy did. Yeah. Oh, that guy's such a jerk. He's wanted me to say hi to your lazy eye.

Well, you're a jerk for mentioning it. Yeah. I'm quitting this beer league lacrosse team. What if Brett doesn't know? Am I what? Get a job. Lazy eye. Yeah, like a seeing eye job.

Right? What other job could an eye get? Watchman. Sure, private eye. Eyewitness. Maybe eyewitness news reporter. Yeah, that's right. That's what I meant to say.

Thank you. iRobot. Manufacturer. Yeah. iPod. iPod. iRobot manufacturer iPod iPod we could get into a lot of the Apple product we could get into a lot of trouble alright so we also have

Overheard sent in by listeners and if you would like to write us with your Overheard our email address is stoppodcastingyourselfatgmail.com. Slash Febreze. Yeah. Don't use our street address.

We won't get it. Yeah. That's right. And this first one comes from Rebecca S. I have an overheard from KFC. That used to be called Kentucky Fried Chicken, guys. Oh, okay. A KFC employee asked a customer, what kind of salad would you like with that?

And the customer said, can I get gravy instead of salad? Oh, of course. Yes. The salad question is just a test. We use the two words interchangeably. When we say salad, we

imply gravy or some kind of drippings. Like some sort of drippings. Like some sort of gelatin. Yeah. Anybody here? Regular customer at KFC? No.

Katie? I've never eaten fried chicken. Is that right? Never in your life? No. And now it seems like with what I know about the world, it's too late for me. Have you ever eaten any fast food? Oh, yeah. Okay.

But have you ever had fried chicken that's not KFC, like the actual fried chicken? So you've never had fried chicken? No. Fried chicken is great. Yeah, it is. It looks great. Yeah. It's amazing.

What's stopping you? Okay. The cops, the law. I used to live a block away from a KFC, and I hate it. I'm not one of these people who's like, oh, I don't eat fast food. I will eat fast food. I loved it when I was a kid, and now it still is delicious, but I feel gross every time. It just feels like it's coming out of my face.

But KFC especially, like headaches and nausea. But KFC especially. Like headaches and nausea. The last time I ever had it was years ago. And I had popcorn chicken and I felt deathly ill after having it. Oh shoot. We have a sponsor this week. It's KFC.

Oh no. Particularly their popcorn chicken. Oh no. It's a 1993 KFC is sponsoring it. Popcorn chicken. Do they still have popcorn chicken. Oh, no. The 1993 KFC is sponsoring it. Popcorn chicken. Do they still have popcorn chicken? Sure. No one goes. I just go for the gravy salad.

What kind of dressing would you like on that? No gravy. Or chocolate chips if you have them. Do you have melted cheese? This next one comes from Owen C. I was in class, and we were having a rather weird discussion about recent crimes in the area. Friend 1 sort of sniffles, What kind of person kills another person?

Friend 2, usually a murderer. Pretty good. Pretty good, Friend 2. That's the type of friend writing that could have been on the show Friends. Yeah. Sometimes it's a manslaughterer. Yeah, it's true. It's not always a murder. Yeah, a vehicular

manslaughterer. I always think of Seinfeld had a joke about how much more horrible the manslaughter sounds than murder. Because murder sounds bad, but it's kind of we've heard it so much. But manslaughter sounds like that's the worst crime you could do. Like you're hacking someone up.

Yeah, you're really slaughtering them. Like a sergeant slaughter would do. And that you led them to it. Yeah, you brought them to your slaughterhouse. Yeah. What number? So dumb. Trying so hard today.

And then finally, Zach B. Braff, do you think? Yeah, well, it might be. Guys, it might be. Because once you get rid of the rest of their last name, you immediately forget. Yeah. So it might be Zach Braff. And yeah, it does say at the end, sent from the set of...

The empty set of scrubs. that's where his computer is still he steals wi-fi from that set they never turned it off um this is a second hand overheard but it is too great to pass up uh well big big uh puffing up your chest here uh right out of the gates my friend savannah is a librarian and just sent this. Mother in library, what should we name your baby sister, little girl? Fightin' Cats. Mom, really? Girl, yes.

Fightin' Cats Kennedy. What a great name for a kid. It is pretty good, yeah. Really good. Fightin' Cats. The mother was basically asking, what two words are in your head right now? What a great kid. The words in her head were fighting cats. Are they cats that fight or something else that fights cats?

Oh. Oh, yeah. Yeah, like I'm going to fight some cats. Yeah, I'm going to be fighting cats tonight, if you know what I mean. I want to lick your face. Now, in addition to overheards that have been written in using your hands. Or your toes for the handless. Yeah, or your tongue for that lacrosse guy.

We also have overheards that people have phoned into us using their fingers and then their mouths and something to hold the phone up to their face. Yes. Please don't. Please don't use speakerphone. And you can call us at 206-339-8328. Oh, like these people have. Hi, Stodpoppet.

Hi, Stodpoppet. Yeah. Hi, Dave and Graham. This is Kyle from Virginia. I'm calling with an overheard. I was at TJ Maxx, which I don't know if you have those in Canada, but it's just like a discount department clothing store. And there was this guy and a girl looking around in the underwear section. I was going through the dress shirts, and I suddenly overheard him say, I don't like him.

He got a mouth like a girl, like because he is a girl. And I was just amused by it. And then later on, I was looking at the belts. And the guy and the girl walked by, and he said, he looked like Perez Hilton. And I thought they were just talking about, I don't know, some other guy in an underwear ad or something. And my friend came over to me. And he's like, do you know that guy called you Perez Hilton?

I was like, who's Perez Hilton? Because I didn't know at the time. And he showed me when we got home and I was a little horrified. Alright, love the show. Take care. That was a little bit confusing, but I mostly played it for the first five seconds of him not being able to say stop podcasting yourself. Twice.

I didn't know where it was going until the big reveal was that they were talking about him, which was great. Perez Hilton. One of the ugliest men in the LA area. Probably, right? What?

Just LA probably. That's where he's from, right? It's a big area, though. But he's not one of the ugliest guys on Earth. There's like tons of ugly people on Earth. I guess LA's a really beautiful place. That's what I'm saying. He's like a super ugly dude.

He might be from Florida. Oh, does he write from Florida? How does he get all those scoops? You mean the Tostitos scoops that he eats? I think they sell them at Costco. What is a Tostitos scoop? I think they're... No, Tostitos scoops are nacho chips that are shaped like little...

Are they my chips? No, they're nacho chips. Some really bad jokes this episode. Katie's enjoying it. But they're shaped like little bowls so you can scoop up dip with them. Oh, yeah, because that was really a problem with the average chip. Well, sometimes like a salsa is too watery and it'll just run off. A scoop is not a bad idea.

Have you ever bought them before? Yes. Oh, and were they a vast improvement? I don't know. I don't like chips and dip, to be quite honest. Too much work? No, it's just, it's not my thing. Fair enough.

Scoops? I like all kinds of dips, but I'm not a fan of the scoop. What are you, a vegetable? They're like a tiny, no, I like chips. I don't, I specifically don't like the scoop chips. But look, what about a ruffle chip? Isn't a ruffle chip the best? Yeah, but not I like chips. I specifically don't like the scoop chips. What about a ruffle chip? Isn't a ruffle chip the best? Yeah, but not for a salsa. You need a nacho.

Well, why didn't they make a nacho ruffle chip? Because they're poor Mexicans. What? Well, no, it's ancient Mexican technology that they were never able to improve upon until they brought it to the USA. And the USA was like, let's make little tiny bowls. Perez Hilton will buy them.

It'll get super chunky. Yeah, and then a guy will overhear something and be offended. Man, whoever said that was very prescient. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, next overheard. Go, go for it. Hey, next overheard. Go. Go for it. Hey, Dave and Graham and probably hilarious guest.

It's Aubrey, the Brooklyn Bumper, calling in with an overheard. I was just walking back from the grocery store this evening and heard two probably early 20s girls. And one of them said, no, no, he's just short. And the other girl says, no, he's unattractive. And then it was the same guy from the first call. I was like, I can't catch a break.

Yeah. There's a thing. Not all short people are unattractive. And not all unattractive people are short. No, of course. Tom Cruise. George Mirison. George Mirison is neither short nor unattractive.

He's my giant. He was in my giant. He played my giant in my giant. Who played Billy Crystal in that? Oh, Robin Williams. Whoopi Goldberg. Yeah, Comic Relief. The Comic Relief crew. Have they all won Oscars?

Or is one of them missing one? Billy Crystal Billy Crystal? Oh, okay Maybe he got a He got like a cast off one Of somebody who didn't show up One of the times he was hosting it

Oh, sure Like, hey, take one home When Jack Palance died He got his Did you see on the He got his The view Whoopi Goldberg brought her Oscar on

And it was like super tarnished. Oh, yeah? Yeah, like she hasn't, I guess if you don't maintain, it looks horrible. Like it looks like she's been, I don't know. Say it. No, I won't. Do you think her daytime Emmy like makes fun of it? She has all four.

She's one of the E-Godders. An E-Godder? Emmy, Grammy, Oscar, Tony. Hmm. What'd she win a Tony for? I don't know. Her one-woman Broadway show? Yeah, probably something dumb like that.

Sister Act, the musical. Sure. Well, that would be a great musical. It is a musical. Okay. I'm not going to see it now. Now that you've discovered it's a real thing. Oh, no.

I only liked it in theory. No, it's a musical. Did they make it in theory no it is it's a musical did they make a sister act to the musical? with Lauryn Hill one more overheard and then some drunk dial but this overheard you know how we have occasionally gotten

an overheard well there's one that stands out as being fake but sometimes they're so good I wonder if they're real this's one that stands out as being fake yeah uh but uh sometimes they're so good i wonder if they're real okay this is one that might i it might i'm like it might be from something else that i just sure i'm blinded to it because it's so good but uh let's have a listen dave and graham this is nick from north carolina the greatest overheard ever i was walking out of my office and I heard a guy talking on his cell phone. He said,

and then she came in to hug me, and she stabbed me in the stomach. I buy that as a real thing. Yeah. Yeah. Because I don't think the guy was actually stabbed. That's what I think happened. She was holding a pen or something like that. Oh, she came in to stab me. Oh, she came in to hug me, and she stabbed me in the stomach. Or, yeah, or she had a belly because she was holding a pen or something like that oh she came in to stab me and she oh she came to hug me and she's having a stomach or yeah or she was she had a belly because she was pregnant

and but maybe had a knife or that sounds like it might be a good strategy to get a cop's gun go and then go around the side as unapproachable as they seem they do seem huggable yeah they do yeah not as huggable as firemen though and not as huggable as hug seem, they do seem huggable. Yeah. Not as huggable as firemen, though. And not as huggable as Huggy Bear, their informant. Sure. But the thing I'm willing to bet is that policemen are probably trained to hear that snap of their gun being unsnapped. It's like instinct. Yeah, like they make them wear headphones and they play ever more faint

snap sounds and the cop keeps putting up his hand and if they don't get it they ride a desk until they get their snapchops up I want to get the home game snapchops I would totally

sit around with people and play snapshots. Snapshots. I don't even know what the game is, but you just... I assume you listen to snaps. Yeah, you listen to varying decibels of snaps. Yeah, there's an hourglass that someone turns over. Yeah, there's dice. There's some sort of dice.

Yeah, there's a board and you... It's like, maybe it's a little bit like... What's the one... Monopoly. That's a little bit like, what's the one? Monopoly. That's a combination of Pictionary and you have to sculpt something. Cranium. Cranium. Oh, Cranium, yeah, yeah. Is that a fun one?

I don't care for board games. Okay. Are you scared of them? You're more of a chips and dip kind of. Oh, yeah. If you invite Katie to a party, put away the board game, break out the chips and dip. Break out the, but don't use scoops. On the home game, the Snaps home game.

Snapshot. Snapshot the Snaps home game, do you think Snap of Snap, Crackle and Pop would maybe be endorsing it? Sure, if we could get the celebrity endorsement. Yeah, I never really see him without Crackle and Pop, but I think he would look good with Chop. Maybe

Snapchop's the logo is Snap and he's got an axe And he's chopping wood Yeah like he's all muscly From chopping wood Rugged Like a shirtless snap Chopping some wood

Erotic Totally roided out I like it Because you need to really get pumped to hear sounds. Yeah. None of it is, it's not congruent. It's incongruent. Sure.

No, it's not a fun game or good at all. But just the name Snapshops is something we could sell. Here's the thing, while we're just kind of meandering talk-wise, we didn't talk at the, we were talking before we started the show, meandering talk-wise. We were talking before we started the show. And Katie Ellen let slip that she has a bust of Ryder Strong. Ryder Strong, who played Eric?

No. No. Sean. Sean on Boy Meets World. Bad boy Sean. Yeah, bad boy, a little bit dumb. No, he was very smart. He was street smart.

He was also kind of an orphan. Yeah, he was Tori's best friend. Which is intoxicating. He lived with the music teacher or something? Yeah, a regular teacher. A regular leather jacket bound teacher. Yeah, he was bound in his leather jacket. Did you ever see him with that? He was kind of a leather daddy.

A leather foster daddy. I'm looking for a daddy. Oh, well, we got this leather daddy. Is that what you meant? Okay, so, Rider Strong. Tell us the story of Rider. I will...

I think I'm going to hesitate to go into too many details into how this came into my possession. Cool. Lest I incriminate someone. But it was created. Oh, sorry. The bust is of somebody named R. Strong.

There we go. Yeah, you don't want to incriminate someone in case they did it. They signed a non-disclosure bust-making clause. I don't know how the world works. No. I don't know how the world works. No, I don't know how the bust industry works. So this bust of Rider Strong was created. He was doing a movie, and they create these in order that they can work on makeup looks

without big celebrities like Rider Strong having to sit in the chair. Sure. And someone else decided that because i am a huge writer strong fan that i would love to have a really terrifying white waxy bust of his face with no hair and no almost no discernible features in my home. You're a Rider Strong fan and a fan of Rider Strong being dead and frozen. Right. And shaved.

Yeah. Well, I like the idea that he's kind of on hold to save the earth when we need him. At his prime. Yeah, exactly. Well, he's in my slaughterhouse. You manslaughtered him. Okay. Do you still have it?

Oh, yeah. Okay. It's frozen in carbonite. It's a little rubbery. What movie? Okay. You maybe can't say what movie it was for. But in this movie, did he have excessive makeup? Because it seems like it would just be...

I feel like I was told at the time what movie it was for, but I definitely don't know. And I can't think of anything that Rider Strong has done except for, as I mentioned before, Boy Meets World. Oh, and Black Swan. And voicing, doing the read of Scar Tissue. Oh, right. Anthony Kiedis' book.

Oh, right. He is the audiobook narrator of Anthony Kiedis' Scar Tissue. But I just wonder, like, would that help you to get a writer-strong look if you had someone who had... How do we get the writer-strong look? He's not known for wearing makeup, and he's not going to show up on set

with lifeless skin, so I don't know that this would help you. Oh, we've got to paint him. We've got to paint his face skin color. Maybe it was like an elaborate prank. Because I assume it's not fun to sit and get a cast made of your face. I don't know. It sounds pretty good to me.

I think you have to breathe through straws in your nose. Again. Yeah, it sounds pretty fun. But maybe it was like an episode of Punk'd that he just didn't, he wasn't big enough of a star to actually make the final cut. Maybe I own one, but the person that made this one owns hundreds. And if you make them kiss, then it will open up a portal to a different dimension. Yeah, I thought you were going to say the other person owns another one and there's only two. And they come into, yeah, when they come into contact.

Well, I did get half a locket with it. It says Boy Meets on it, but you don't know what the other. You just assume there's a company called Boy Meets. Oh, no. Oh, little daddy. Okay, we have some drunk dial. Oh, play the theme. When I was a child, didn't know what a phone was.

I'm just kidding. Never tasted liquor either. But one day, when I grew up, put two and two together. Drunk dials. Telling my girlfriend to start her period. Drunk dials. Telling my friend he looks like a wolf man. Drunk dials. Telling my girlfriend to start her period. Drug dials. Telling my friend he looks like a wolf man. Drug dials.

Calling Future Shop and asking for Best Buy. Drug dials. Drug dials. Okay, thank you, Kevin Lee, for singing that song. And we've got one drug dial here. Do you remember, I think it was two weeks ago, we talked about the heat surge? Yes. The Amish made fake fireplace cabinet heater system.

Yeah. Yes. Well, that's it. That's it. That's what it is. And someone is calling regarding that. Hey, Dave, Graham, and possible guests. This is Travis out of Ohio with a, I suppose it's a drunken call,

with a point, with a point about the heat surge that was brought up last week. I actually worked at the company that sold these Amos heat surges for about a day and a half before getting fired. The reason I was fired was because I fell asleep

during the infomercial presentation they gave to all the new people. And, yeah, that was pretty fun. Day and a half. They also have a, the building they were in has an old-timey Amish stuff store, like candles and stuff, as well as a restaurant called TGD 365, which stands for Thanksgiving Dinner 365. Oh, wow. They have a Thanksgiving dinner on the menu every year. All right. I love the show.

Keep it up. Thanks. Holy shit. That was a lot of information. First of all, if you get fired from the heat surge place, are you actually fake fired? Pretty good. Yay. heat surge place are you actually fake fired pretty good yay and second of all thanksgiving dinner 365 yeah right that sounds like that's a better idea for a restaurant than we had come up with yeah for a board game no last week we uh oh the bathroom restaurant yeah we we discussed a

restaurant that was themed to look like a bathroom. Horrible idea for a restaurant. Even for a bathroom, it's kind of predictable. But yeah, thanks for the drunk dial. As a podcast, we've extended our podcast as a service to people who get drunk and need to call somebody and just say their piece. And so if you want to call us, it's 604. No, sorry, it's not 604. That's our area code. It's 206-339- 8328.

So program that into your phone now. Now that you're sober. Yeah. Hopefully you're sober. Well, you know, who knows what time of day they're listening to this. It could be 11.32 in the evening. That's a perfectly good time to be drunk. I know, but do people get drunk and listen to podcasts?

I haven't. I assume people get drunk and listen to stuff. They watch stuff. They do stuff. Why not listen to stuff? Use all your senses. Taste things. Touch things. Now, here's one thing I just wanted to mention.

Because in the past couple months, there's people who have come to Vancouver and they've written to the Stop Podcasting Yourself email and said, you know, what's fun to do in Vancouver? And I've gladly answered those emails. I think it's fun to kind of say, here's the cool things to do in your hometown. And we have listeners from all over the place. And I think it's interesting to know what's the cool thing to do in your hometown. And we have listeners from all over the place. And I think it's interesting to know what's the cool thing to do in your town. And if anybody out there...

I'd like to compile a list of cool things. Should I ever go on any road trip anywhere, I'll just know what cool thing to do in any given town. I won't have to ask around. So if anybody out there, if you live in a town, tell me what the cool thing is in your town. it via this stop podcast yourself email maybe we can get a little trade

going maybe we can uh learn something cultural exchange if you will you into that dave no you did not uh check with me before this i didn't brief you on it no but i just it's because i forgot about it and i just remembered it right now uh no, in anyone's town, I don't want to do anything. You don't want to, you just want to hang out at the hotel? Oh, yeah. Sit by the pool? Sure. Not even.

No, just in the hotel room? Yes. Watch American TV, think of different channels. Maybe they could tell you which hotel would be good to go to. Get used to what channels are on which channels. Yeah. What channel is showing reruns of everybody loves raymond yeah i mean it's tbs but where is what channels your tbs on yeah yeah so if you can tell us that too that's what dave would like to know sure what channel does tbs

uh happen on your television wherever you are yeah uh so StopPodcastingYourself at gmail.com or 206-339-8328. Yeah. I think it's a fun cultural exchange thing. Am I wrong? Am I way off? It's fun for you, maybe.

Oh, yeah, but you don't like it. But for Dave, tell us, if you write in, also tell us what channel TBS is on in your town.

Katie Ellen, do you have anything upcoming that you would like to plug? When is this coming out? Tuesday. Oh, well, if you are listening to this on Tuesday, you should definitely come down to the Waldorf, Tuesday, February 22nd.

In Vancouver. In Vancouver, yes. Yeah. For the first, the inaugural Ladies and Gentlemen comedy show being produced by Bronx Cheer. Past guest, Craig Anderson. That's right. And it's going to be a monthly show,

so if you can't make it to that one, then I recommend you check it out on the last Tuesday of every month. And it is a, it's as the name would imply, it's kind of a dress-up comedy show, sort of a throwback. I'm going to dress like a dragon. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I wouldn't kick you out if you did.

No, it's like a fancy suit and tie thing. Yeah, that's the impression that I have been given, and I understand that there will be brown liquor. Oh, right. Yeah, sure. A bourbon. A Coca-Cola. Yeah.

A whiskey drink. Possibly a cider. No Crystal Pepsi. No. A Coca-Cola. Yeah. A whiskey drink. Possibly a cider. No Crystal Pepsi. No. No, absolutely not. It's too healthy. It's too healthy. And so February 22nd, if you're in Vancouver and you need something to do, you want to

dress up fancy, the Waldorf. Dave, anything plug coming up? No. What channel is TBS on your TV? We don't get it here. Dave, anything plug coming up? No. What channel is TBS on your TV? We don't get it here. We used to get it on Channel 47 and now we get Peachtree TV. Which is from Atlanta as well.

But frustrating. Now, no I don't have anything to plug. I was at the comedy mix this past weekend. I didn't plug it last week because I didn't have high hopes for it. Someone even emailed and said, Oh, Dave, I'll be in town during this thing. Is there any comedy?

Oh, yeah, you should have written back to that person. I was like, no, this is going to go badly. Maybe you can write back tonight. You can write wrongs. It's never too late. No, it's gone well the first two nights. Tonight is guaranteed to go badly. Oh, see, that's negative thinking.

That's all that is. And, yeah, I don't have anything to plug. Oh, actually, this week I will be filling in on CBC Radio 3, hosting music shows from 11 to 2 Pacific on Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday. Oh, cool. And, really, if you've never heard Dave on the CBC radio, he does a wonderful job. And I...

Hey, come on now. I don't like that. Cut that part out and just keep in the part where I'm giving you a compliment. I don't like it. I don't like it one bit. Now he's squirming. I don't like that either.

I don't like that the most. I think it's pretty cute. And everybody, thank you very much for listening and if you like the show tell your friends and come on back next week for what i can only imagine is going to be a real gut-busting episode of stop podcasting yourself um okay let's test our voices dave testing this is my voice this is me here i am what a professional podcast yeah graham this is graham testing this is what graham sounds like a little bit louder than dave and a little bit more aggressive and kind of jerky Do you think it's louder? In my earphones it is

Oh, but it's also in your head Yeah In your head In your head Zombies! Right? Zombies Zombies

This is Katie testing her voice Oh, now I forget what we sound like Dave testing, go Katie