Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 155 - Alicia Tobin

Episode Date: March 1, 2011

Comedian Alicia Tobin returns to talk about saunas, turtlenecks, and raw food zombies.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 155 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who is a year-round plaid wearer, Mr. Dave Shumka. Can we lay off the plaid stuff? I don't know if we can. You do have a variety of plaids, and it's like your look.

It's a part of your look. Yeah, I know. I don't say, hey, what's with your face? Your face is your look all the time. He does say that. And joining us here on our special 155th episode, that's an anniversary of some sort. It is a special episode. It's a Max Fun Drive episode.

Yeah, this is the first of two of the Max Fun Drive episodes. So buckle up and put on your crash helmet because this is going to be upside down and inside out. Put on your crash helmet because you will get injured. And our guest today on the podcast

one of the few five time a quint And our guest today on the podcast, one of the few five-time Quint returner. One of two, I think. One of two. The other being Abby Campbell. Yeah. Miss Alicia Tobin is our guest. Hi, bumpers.

Hey. Thanks for being a guest. Oh, thank you. I love this show. I love you guys. And happy 155th episode. It's the Diamond Anniversary. Welcome to your webcast.

You don't know what any of this is. No, I read them, though. Should we get to know us? Yes. Get to know us. So, Alicia, what's new? What's going on? You are

not only going to school, you are working with a raw food chef. Yes. And you're going to school for nutrition. And you're also a comedian. We're not just having weirdos who

work for chefs. You're here today to talk to us about vitamins. So I would today to talk to us about vitamins. So I would like to talk to you about a whole food diet. And what's new? What's going on? Well, things are great. I quit my job last year about a month and a half before Christmas, and I took three months off, and I bought a lot of jogging pants, and I spent a lot of time in jogging

pants and watching people. Did you? Watching people jog yeah pretty much i got a very expensive gym membership and only went to the sauna just go there and go and sit in the sauna now i've never had a gym membership you can't tell no thanks yeah toned yeah you look like you paid for a gym membership and went to the sauna but it's uh uh it's that's one of those things where it's like signing your life away isn't it it can be scary but you know uh if there's a really good sauna and you don't mind eating in it that's great why do you eat raw food in the sauna and that's how it cooks yeah yeah you steam it

that's the only way that it's acceptable 108 degrees why why is a sauna not the most disgusting thing on earth because it seems like like why isn't that a thing that people are like ew gross i don't know i would never do that there must be something about the wood oh yeah the wood makes it there's something about the wood all right well because like if you uh i don know, a piece of wet wood that you can't. This is a dry sauna, by the way. What does that mean? It's an infrared sauna, so it's not one of those steamy saunas, and it doesn't have charcoal. It's some sort of infrared computer system.

So it's like a toaster? Like a human toaster. Yeah. And there's always something funny going on in the sauna, too. You mean like funny business? Yeah, there's definitely some monkey business. Oh, what? Like diddling? I bet that that happens.

I used to go to a gym in Montreal where people would F in the pool. But that's just Montreal. That's what people do in pools. And smoke. Yeah, we did smoke in the pool. What? That's impossible. No, you just keep your ashtray on the side. People F in public pools in Montreal? This really hot couple I knew were always F-ing in the pool, so I canceled my gym membership.

Did anybody complain because they were hot? No. Exactly, yeah. People were like, have at it. They're just like, have at it. Yeah, yeah. Can we watch? It's a public pool.

You can't forbid me from watching. It's a public pool. You can't forbid me from watching. I own a gym membership, but only in the last year I got a membership to the YMCA. It's fun. I stay there sometimes. They don't have hotels or anything, but I just stay at the YMCA. Where is the YMCA? They're all over the place. They're across the country. Where is the YMCA?

They're all over the place. They're across the country. Where's the local one? Well, that's the thing. Or you don't want to mention it? No, Alicia was telling me. Yeah, I do not want anybody to see me exercise ever. But I really don't. I feel like it's one of the most kind of...

We do almost exclusively step aerobics. You make them evacuate the dance floor. Like that song. But Alicia was telling me that you can have a membership at a YMCA and that's good for all the YMCAs in the country. And I don't believe that that's true.

It's true. Can you weigh in on that? Do you know that that's a fact or not a fact? He said he's never had a gym membership. I've never had a gym membership. I have never been to a YMCA, but I will say that that is true. Yeah, of course it's true.

It's like a... It's a chain restaurant. If you get a Fitness World one, can you go to all the fitness worlds? It depends on how many herpes you want. Fitness world, your kind of place. We're number one for fitness and fun. Wait a minute.

Fitness world, we're setting the pace for everybody. For everybody. They were ranked number one in fitness and in fun? Mm-hmm. Wow. Yeah. It was actually UNESCO did the uh survey was it two separate columns fitness and fun they won both well yeah and they created a matrix uh like this is the place to have the

most fitness and fun yeah yeah i understand well because their workout place is actually like the dojo in the matrix um now let's get back to sauna talk yeah um what is a dry like so you go to a dry sauna yeah and does it smell like the good thing about a sauna is that it smells cedary yeah it smells like wood like it kind of smells like hot chocolate in a weird way like you know that strange smell like when you're i think maybe somebody was just powdering the sauna. Or when you spill milk onto an element. I don't go into the sauna

when there's more than two people in it. Even though there's enough room for 15 people, that's just too intimate for me. Wow. Yeah. I would not want to go

into the sauna unless there were more people because I don't want to be there with just one person and have to talk to them about... People don't talk to each other. Is that your feet? Have you ever been in a sauna?

Yeah. Have you been in one? Not a naked sauna, though. I've been in a naked sauna. Uncomfortable. Where? The YMCA. Oh, so it's like one that's in the change room for men.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a guy sauna. Yeah, it was a dude sauna. And that's in the change room for men. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a guy sauna and girl sauna. It was a dude sauna. And that's the weird thing about... There's a clothing optional, by the way. It's not just nude. Oh, no, but all the old dudes option for no clothes. And that's the thing that I find is that in the change rooms, almost universally,

the younger guys are very modest and will change facing the locker. And old dudes will walk around and talk about golf in the nude for like half an hour. And putt with their wieners. I noticed at the Y that some people think boxer shorts are bathing suits. And that's just the weirdest thing. I've seen that. Really? Yeah. Like somebody's getting in there with. I've seen that. Really? Yeah.

Like somebody's getting in there with a pair of Calvin Klein's? Yes. White Calvin Klein's. Marky Mark is getting in there. Have you ever been in a sauna that doesn't have any wood in it? It's just like a tile sauna? No, I haven't. I have.

Yeah. That's a wet sauna. What's the difference between... It's a steam room. Oh, yeah. It's kind of a steam room. So your dry sauna the difference between... It's a steam room. Oh, yeah. It's a steam room. So your dry sauna, is that a woody one? Yep.

Okay. It's all cedar lined, and then it has these strange heaters with temperature gauges instead of having the charcoal thing that you pour. But you can have the charcoal thing that you pour in a woody one, too, right? Yeah. And is that wet or dry? I think it's still considered dry. I'm not a professional sauna person.

You should become one. Maybe. There's big money in infrared saunas these days. Is there really? It's all the rage for people that think infrared saunas are awesome. It seems like something infrared everything?

I don't know what it means, actually. Yeah, no, me neither. Oh, infrared, I don't know what it means, actually. Yeah, no, me neither. Oh, infrared, I don't know what it means. I know it's below red and ultraviolet is above violet. It's not part of the visible spectrum. I know that much about it. Yeah. And the heat surge might have something to do with it.

Oh, made by the Amish. Yeah. I think they make the wood that you sit on. Do you think that the Amish have ever made a sauna? Because that would be... I wonder. That's something that could be in their wheelhouse, and they do actually have a wheelhouse. So you bought a membership to a gym, never used it, bought a lot of sweatpants, never sweat in them?

No, I exercised. Okay. But I also just wore those out. For the first time in my life, I had sweatpants on, and I was at a store, and I felt so... Was it a boutique? I was only just down the street. I was like, I just have to get milk, and I'll run back to the house, and I won't see anyone, and no one will know that I did this.

But as I was running down to the store, I realized that jogging pants don't have the protective pockets on the back that keep things from kind of jiggling around. Your butt? Yeah. Okay. And I was running down the store, and I felt like such a jiggly mess and i never wore jogging pants out of the house again i don't even own them yeah i don't know what happened it's the first thing i did after i left my job it's uh um yeah like i someone came to our

door this morning uh and i was wearing pajamas and i felt like a dirtbag you have pajamas of course oh that's great matching top and bottom no like a cosby. You have pajamas? Of course. Oh, that's great. Matching top and bottom? No. Like a Cosby? No. What's the pocket for? You're reading glasses. What? You're reading glasses.

You're a handkerchief. Yeah, you do need, you're not going to be asleep the entire time you're wearing pajamas. Well, no. When do you put on pajamas? After the guest leaves? Yeah, no. When do you put on pajamas? After the guest leaves? Yeah, basically. All right. So, like I thought, oh, I guess in, I'm trying to think, who are the people who wear pajamas that I can think of?

Bill Cosby. Dave Shumka. Dave Shumka. Steve Martin. Ebenezer Scrooge. Yep. The banana guy. What banana guy?

Bananas in pajamas? I think there's more than one of them. They're brothers, I think. They're coming down in pairs. There's a bunch of them. He's Canada's favorite banana-based comedian. That banana guy. Okay, so we're back to talking about saunas.

Yeah. Again? No, we're not. talking about saunas yeah uh again no we're not but i am curious about your gym membership is it no did i oh it's it's expired i said mumber shop okay oh it's expired yeah oh that's lucky i thought it was the kind of thing you could never get out of no no you can get three six or six or one year uh members Oh, okay. Yeah. All right. No further questions, Your Honor. Yeah, I don't... The thing about going to the gym, and I don't know how many of our listeners are gym users, although a lot... Gym rats.

Gym rats. Yeah. How many people are listening to this right now on Venice Beach, lifting as much weight as you possibly can? Venice. Oh, membership. Because sometimes we hear, we get a lot of people who send in messages to us and they say, you know, I listen to you while I'm at work. Working out. Yeah, very rarely is it while they're working out.

What do you think? What do you think the percentage is on that? I've worked out and listened to the podcast. Ten? I would say ten. Ten people? Ten percent. Ten percent.

Okay. But how can you work out without, you know, a tiger, et cetera? I don't like, when I go for runs, which is between. When you have the runs. When I have the trots. Sometimes you run, sometimes you trot. When I go for a run,

usually between May and September. It's a real May-September relationship. Yeah. When I go for runs, I used to bring, like, I would make a playlist of, like, here's some motivational hits. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What was in your top five motivational hits? Oh, I like uh it would

be like um uh some daft punk something with uh a rhythm something like dance music evacuate the dance floor yep gotcha uh that kind of thing uh but not anymore i i do like listening to podcasts now because it the uh the the rhythm of the music will like you think it'll motivate you, but But the rhythm just gets you. Well, the rhythm's gonna get you. But listening to people talk really just takes your mind off of the pain you're in. Yeah, at one point I tried to download I think it was on iTunes, it was just like a workout mix, but it was on iTunes it was just like a workout mix but it was like

house music or something and I was like this is getting high and hanging out in some guy's basement mix do you not work out on E? he works out with a baby soother in his mouth yeah I don't cry my tooth too much

anyone that you run past you want to hug them and I run at night with glow sticks in the park. I pass the glow stick to the next guy, and he runs around and passes back to me. It's a relay. Dave, what's going on with you lately? I thought we got in about... Never mind. What was that?

Go ahead. I'm done. Let's solve your problems. Yeah. What kind of problem do you have? What's your problem? Yeah, what's your problem? I pass. No, let kind of problem do you have? What's your problem? Yeah, what's your problem? I pass.

No, let's go to Dave. I did want to say, though, that Dave, you always dress in plaid, but it's lovely. Thank you. Sometimes stripes. Yeah, I have various patterns. Yeah. Very few solids. Yeah, that's true.

And last week you were in a t-shirt, which was downright shocking. I mean, when was the last time you saw Dave in a t-shirt? Right? Summertime? Last time he was jogging in the park? He was singing Evacuate the Nets. He usually wears turtlenecks. Do you own a turtleneck?

No. Mock turtleneck? Tons. What's the difference? The turtleneck actually just has... It rolls over. It's baggy and saggy. No, a mock turtleneck is just the neck part and then enough... No, no, no.

Isn't that a mock turtleneck? No. A mock turtleneck is... Okay, a turtleneck is for skiing and a mock turtleneck is for apres-ski. Yeah. A mock turtleneck, you might wear it under a sports coat and then uh go to 1987 and have an infomercial for what i don't know well i okay oh i thought that i thought the turtlenecks were just anything that went

on a turtle no anything that went up your neck. Like a tattoo. Yeah, exactly. Oh, yeah. Chest hair that kind of gets up your neck. Sure, yeah. Someone gets a turtleneck tattoo. Oh, wow. Somebody's tickled.

Yeah, or like a bandana tattoo. And then you sort of see a bit of a hickey peeking out. That was tattooed on there. A hickey tattoo. Oh, a hickey tattoo would age the worst of all tattoos. It would just look like a sarcoma. Like it would just start folding over. Sarcoma.

Sarcoma. Isn't that a skin thing? No? Sounds like one. Yeah. You're thinking of glaucoma. Sarcoma, isn't that a skin thing? No? Sounds like one. Yeah. You're thinking of glaucoma. Yeah. Old people eye disease.

Is that what glaucoma is? Did I get that right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's when they go into a coma. When their eyes go into a coma. When their eyes or glocks go into a coma. People call their eyes glocks. If they have 44 vision, it's a clock 44.

Sure. No, but did you have anything to say about raw food? Real quick, real quick. Raw food, go. It's delicious and nutritious. I don't want to talk anymore. The more attention we give you, the less attention you want. Yeah, the woman that I work for is a raw food chef,

and she teaches people how to follow a raw diet. Mostly I eat a lot of interesting raw food things. She's like, this is a pizza, but a raw pizza. So it's made with something that's not at all pizza-like. There seems to be a lot of that in, like, vegan culture. It's absolutely what it is, yeah. Of just people claiming something is a type of food that it is shaped like. Yeah.

Well, she gave me this machine that you can make zucchini noodles out of. You don't cook anything. And it's really fun. Now, with raw food, you don't cook anything? Yeah. They actually have the, they do dehydrate things. But it can't be over 120 degrees. Oh, okay. And, like, it takes forever to make a kale chip.

Sure. After you massage all these, like, chickpea things into it. I'm learning a lot. Yeah, you gotta massage the kale. You just got to. Do people need to eat like that? Keeping people alive? I think it can be really transformative

health-wise for people. But I'm sure it's... People should just die. I think some people it would be really difficult, especially after a lifetime of eating cooked food. Oh, what's that guy?

Brian Dennehy. He's probably... It'd be really hard to get him on a raw food day specifically yeah like i picture you trying to like give brian dennehy some kale chips and him just saying like no he'd eat them he'd be like no i don't know i don't know push me down i think brian dennehy would he would ask for, what did you do with my real chips? Yes. My poker chips. He would say, where's the beef?

And then I would give him a raw burger. Yeah. Is that okay? Yeah. Can you have raw meat? Some raw people eat raw meat, yeah. And raw milk. Like hot out of the carcass?

Ideally. Have you ever seen that in like... Star Wars. Yeah. I've seen it in like zombie movies. So it's like that. There was a movie. What was that one? Into the Wild. The Sean Penn film. The guy eats a heart.

Why the heart? You know, it's the... He's a voodoo guy. Yeah. It was Valentine's Day. He was treating himself to an elk heart. Now, a zombie, will a zombie... He's a raw foodist. Okay. Good.

Zombies technically are raw foodists. Yeah. Yeah. They're the original raw foodies. Well, they... If someone... If they find a human live person... Yeah.

In general, they will eat them and devour them? They eat... They seem... From and devour them. They eat? They eat enough of them that the person still turns into a zombie. I have a question about zombies. You there. On the new show, The Walking Dead, it shows the zombies eating...

Did you say the news show? The new show, The Walking Dead, they show the zombies they really seem to like to eat cheeks. Yes. They're always like... Because they taste like apple. You pull them off the face. But I thought zombies just eat brains.

And in this show, it's kind of showing us more about the culture. I'm really getting inside the zombie culture. There's a lot of misconceptions and stereotypes that... Yeah, they're like this. It's the Queer as Folk of zombie shows. Sure. It's really getting in there and showing you... Oh, I hope that...

Oh, I can't think of the guy's name. Carson. Who was on Queer as Folk. Hal. Johnson. London. Sparks. Hal Sparks. Hal Sparks, yeah. I hope he's on. Bub. Sparks. Hal Sparks. Hal Sparks, yeah.

Bubba Sparks Fowler. Dave, what's going on with you, zombie-wise? Zombie-wise? Well, I'm trying to stay zombie-wise. Yeah. You've only been buying products that have the zombie-wise seal on them.

I had three days of zombie Wise training at work, paid. Thank you very much. Not bad, not bad. Yeah, it's a union thing. What's going on with me? Well, not much, but I do want to talk about this television commercial I saw. It's not the Swiffer thing again, is it? Or Febreze?

No, no, no. Oh, no, I'm becoming that guy. Did you talk about that Febreze commercial? Yeah. Because that's what I wanted to talk about. Yeah. When the guy smells the bath mat. He lifts up a bath mat in his bathroom and smells it while he's on all fours.

That's a fetish. Yeah, and he's wearing, like, he's not in his sweatpants or anything. He's, like, dressed for a party. That's what heish. Yeah, and he's wearing, like, he's not in his sweatpants or anything. He's, like, dressed for a party. That's what he does at parties. Yeah, he's doing that. Not even his house. Yeah, it's not even his house. How do we know that's his house?

That would be great, to go to someone else's house and just casually start Febrezing things. You Febreze the host's hand when they shake before we shake hands um this commercial that i saw is um on the weekends uh i get up at like 7 7 30 and uh i go on the internet but i will turn the tv on uh just to provide light more than anything else yep uh and why don't you turn on a light? Because then it would be too much light. Basically. I turn it on the channel that will have the morning news

but the morning news on the weekends doesn't start until 9, I think. The news sleeps in. I think it starts at 8 on Saturdays and 9 on Sundays. The Sabbath. Catch us before church uh but they have uh the shows that they show before the news are like outdoors shows like there's a fishing show and there's a hunting show and uh i think they produce their own commercials

and one of them was for this brand of i don't know let's say ammunition okay or it might have been i don't know what other supplies do you need as a hunter oh camouflage an ad for camouflage oh and uh deer vagina smell oh yeah yeah i gotta spray that like like febreze at your friend's house as a matter of fact that would be even better. Why are all these deers coming to the party? I am going to turn this party up. Splash, splash, splash.

Instead of spiking the punch. I'm vagina-ing your living room. I don't think it's vagina. I think it's urine. Yeah. Oh, really? Well, I don't think it's vagina. I think it's urine. Yeah. Oh, really? Well, I don't know. I thought it was...

I was going to say vagina tears. That is not a thing. I apologize. Something about them being in heat? Yeah. Yeah, because don't they put... Heat scrapings? Maybe like their...

Heat scrapings! Ew! Is it a dry sauna? Okay. It's for ammunition, let's creepy. Ew. Is it a dry sauna? Okay. It's for ammunition, let's say. Okay. For the sake of sanity. And it's this dad.

This dad goes to the fridge to get something out of the fridge. And he sees on the fridge his son or daughter has a drawing on the fridge that's, you know, a turkey. Oh, that you do with your hand? That you've done by tracing your hand and then you draw on a turkey. And the dad takes the turkey drawing off, and then it disappears for a while, and then you see him go back to the fridge and put it back on, and he's drawn a bullseye on the neck of the turkey oh my god whoa yeah uh why can't you just do that on the fridge yeah i guess i guess he could have

it would have been funnier yeah he had to go back to his drawing room back to the drawing board and then it was yeah mc McGill's turkey vagina drippings. I am. What? That's how you hunt a turkey. You have to hunt a turkey? Yeah, yeah, the wild turkeys. I watch one of those hunting shows.

But I think because it's on TV, there's like a law or something. Like you can't shoot an animal on TV or something. Yeah, they don't show that you shoot them shooting. You have to go to the movie theaters to see that. Yeah. But they do show them devouring the carcass by the side of the highway. Yeah. I saw this, there's like a show, it might be called Deadly Rivers. Sounds like you made this up.

No, it's the guy goes around, he scoops deadly fish out of rivers and then talks about them and throws them back in. Right. This morning he had a bull shark and he kept pulling up the bull shark's nose so he could see his little teeth. Just like you do with a dog. We're going to take this bull shark to the vet and have it neutered. He's like, you want to be careful with a guy like this. And he puts his hand directly in his mouth. What is a bull shark to the vet and have it neutered. He's like, you want to be careful with a guy like this. And he puts his hand directly in his mouth. What is a

bull shark? Is it like a bonobo monkey but a shark? Like it has the big nose? Is that the bull shark? No, it looks like a small I don't know. That's a bull shark. How many gills it has. I know that that's some sort of distinction for sharks. You're a shark expert, aren't you? A shark-spert.

I'm a shark-spert. What? No, you are, though. I like sharks. You like sharks a lot. If I were in a boat with a bull shark, though, I would not be interested. You would be interested and terrified. Yeah, I'd be terrified because I have a brain in my skull. I think if you grow up in a river culture, in a bayou culture, it's not even like... You know how if a kid kills

a rabbit, you're like, oh, that kid's going to be a murderer. Right. But in bayou culture, he's going to be the breadwinner. It's just kind of like, oh, yeah, it's just what happens. Now, wait a minute. But you pick up a bull shark out of the river, and you taunt it a bit. Have you seen that show where they catch crocodiles?

Swamp people? Swamp masters? Swamp something. Swamp people. Swamp masters? It might be swamp people. That's a disappointing show for anybody who thinks it's going to be about swamp people. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like Swamp Thing. Yeah, yeah. What happened to Swamp Thing? Is he going to get a remake? Is he going to get the Twilight treatment where somebody falls in love with Swamp Thing? He probably smells like poo. Oh, yeah. That's probably why.

There are only so many classes of monsters that they keep remaking. I learned that in monster class. Yeah. There's zombies, vampires, wolfmen, Frankensteins. Mummies. Mummies. Mummies. Invisible men. Nobody gets romantic with mummies.

That's true. That's disgusting. There's no way to really beautify them either because they're mummy faces. The most recent mummy movies with the Fraser, Fraser? Brendan Fraser. Fraser. Fraser. And Niles. Yeah. Brendan Fraser Crane.

The mummy in that movie was just a curse. It was a manifestation of sand that turned into a face, wasn't it? Yeah, yeah, that's right. But then wasn't there also a mummy army of corpsey... There was a sexy mummy in that, I think. A sexy mummy? Are you thinking of Queen of the Damned? Are you thinking of a MILF?

Boo. I don't know. It seemed like everybody enjoyed it. We did, but, you know, we're better than that. Yeah, that's true. Speaking of Fraser, this morning I was watching a movie, or part of a movie, that I had seen years and years before called Striking Distance. Have you ever seen Striking Distance? That's like River People, where that name could refer to any movie.

Takes place, strangely enough, on a river. Name could refer to any movie. Takes place, strangely enough, on a river. But in the opening sequence, it's Bruce Willis and the dad from Frasier. Oh, John Mahoney. Yeah, John Mahoney. Is his character's name Tom Hardy? Possibly. Is Sarah Jessica Parker involved?

I didn't watch enough of it to know but also possibly okay because i know there was a a forgettable bruce willis movie where his character's name was tom hardy and i was like oh like thomas hardy and then i got beaten up but uh in the scene that i watched uh bruce willis was driving around with john mahoney and it looked like, what if they decided to do a Frasier movie but make it an action movie and recast. Recast Frasier? Yeah. With Bruce Willis because he had the same hairline in the movie that Frasier

had. So it was... Oh yeah, there was that time when he was losing his hair but he hadn't embraced the baldness. Yeah, so he had this weird comb over way, way high up. I'm getting there. I'm almost at that point where my comb-over area... You don't have a comb-over.

No, but where I'm combing is very far away from my eyebrows. Are you ready to have a discussion about your hair? Online? On your webcast? On my webcast. No, what do you mean mean have a discussion about it? Like, it's time to shave it? Is it time to shave it?

Guys, tell me honestly. No, I don't think so. No, it's not time to shave it at all. It's just long. Yeah, it is long. It's time to cut it. It is time to cut it, right? Yeah, and cut it out with the beard paintings, too.

Dave hates it so much. Why do you hate the beard paintings? I don't hate them. Well, actually, the most recent one you did, the giraffe? I did a robot flying a kite after that. Okay, the second most recent one you did, the giraffe, was really good. Oh, thank you. But you haven't done them in a couple weeks.

The last one that I sold was, yeah, the end of last week. And I have a couple more to go up, but I just haven't quite finished them yet. Trim that beard. It's time. I know. When Graham's wearing a brown shirt, you can't see where his face starts. Yeah, it's like a turtleneck. He has no neck anymore.

And it's so long that it's like a triangle now, because it has to accommodate that his body is growing also into the beard. Yep. It's a real miracle of nature. A real, yeah. Pandora's beard. What other good movies was Frasier's dad in? Let's see.

I think he didn't say anything. Was he? Was he the girl? Yeah, he's Ioni's guy. No, I think he didn't say anything. Was he? Was he the girl? Yeah, he was Ioni's guy. No, I think he was her dad. Oh, I love that guy. Yeah. Frazier's dad.

He was the show. That and the dog. Yeah, but now he can only be cast in things where he has a limp. Typecasting. Sure. How's he not dead yet? How is he? Yeah.

I think he's probably the same age as Frasier Crane. Yeah, he just had, like, white hair. Like how Estelle Getty was the youngest Golden Girl, but she was the mother of three of them. Yeah. The other three. That show was just called Sisters when it was originally... Yeah, Sisters and their mom, who's younger than them.

Yeah. So I saw that commercial. Yeah. And what else is going on with you? Speaking of seeing things, I finally... Alicia and I, we went and saw Black Swan. Oh, Black Swan.

And I don't know. You saw it ages ago. Did you like it? I liked... No, I think I was mad at it because it made you feel crazy as the person watching it. There's things in it where it's like

her reflection... Yeah, does stuff. Does stuff. And it's like she didn't even notice that the reflection was does stuff. She didn't even notice the reflection was doing stuff. Only you, the viewer, noticed it. Yeah, that's true. I'm not even the one going crazy. She is. Why doesn't she have to go through this?

She's having a really easy time with this. What did you think of it? Well, the same type of thing, uh was it or wasn't it uh you know thing the whole time and then there was this one scene and i couldn't it kept reoccurring in my mind and i was laughing through the whole movie where uh he that the teacher the instructor invites nat Natalie Portman's character over to his apartment,

which is the most hilarious apartment in any movie. I forget it. It was just like, oh, I get it. You like art. It's just everything is art. The couch is art. You know what I mean? It's just everything is art.

She sits down. She gets up. She's covered in paint. He's really mad. So there's a point where... Use my weird carrot peeler. It's hard. And he says to Natalie Portman at the end of the thing,

he's like, I'm not sure if you're good enough for whatever, passionate enough, and I'm going to give you a homework assignment. Go home and touch yourself. I'm going to give you a homework assignment. Go home and touch yourself. And I kept thinking in my head, like a coach saying that. Like, good practice today, guys. All right, go home and touch yourselves.

And I couldn't stop thinking that the whole movie. Was, good job today, everybody. All right, go home and touch yourselves. Hit the showers. And then go home and hit the showers. So there was that. And then there was the scene where she's trying to do her homework. And her mom is like sleeping in the room.

Well, is that, I think she, that's a hallucination. No, her mom is always around. Yeah, but she didn't notice her mother was there when she started? Or did she wake up from her sleep? Yeah, she kind of woke up and then just started because she's like, oh, I have to do that homework. Oh, yeah. You know how when you're in school and you have those panic dreams about not doing your homework? She fell asleep while doing her homework.

She fell asleep in the middle, yeah. She woke up in a panic and quickly did her homework. Yeah. She did it on the bus on the way to school. Yep. Gross. She copied off a friend. What other homework things are there? My dog ate my homework.

I want to go home. Sorry. Sorry. But what I, when you were talking about how everything in this guy's house is art, I was thinking about how that's the complete opposite of someone where you go to their house and everything was bought at the gift shop of an art gallery or like a museum I come to my house

I've got this statue of David magnet set where you put clothes on him I've got this umbrella with Degas prints I've got this umbrella with Degas prints. I've got this poster with four ladies painted with the Pink Floyd albums on there. Once again, yes. That's in an art gallery somewhere, surely. Surely.

Yeah, so that's, I don't know, that's the last movie I've seen in the theater. You kind of didn't really twig to it. I thought Natalie Portman's makeup was really pretty. So I went out and bought makeup just like her makeup. Did you really? Yes. Wow. I didn't like the movie because it was, there's a lot of blood and I don't, and like scenes

where she's like ripping a fingernail out. Yeah. Stop it. Yeah. Like the whole time I felt sick and for hours afterwards a fingernail out. Yeah. Stop it. Yeah. The whole time I felt sick, and for hours afterwards I felt nauseous. No. So, too scary for me. I'm afraid now of getting the black swan rash.

Like any sort of bump, I'm like, it's the black swan. Yeah. She actually had that, right? She turned into a swan in real life? Oh, we'll never know. Well, the crowd went nuts during that scene where she did turn into a swan. real life oh we'll never know well the crowd went nuts during that scene where she did turn into a swan yeah the crowd in the movie theater yeah no no in in in the ballet theater yeah uh but they didn't go nuts enough that she actually like if she had

turned into a swan if she was really a swan she would have been pooping that whole time yeah and at no point was she like like swans i liked it the first time when it was that uh soul asylum video with claire dane's growing wings oh yeah what was that one for runaway train just like anyone it was called all right um but uh oh yeah there was that one scene where she turned into a swan backstage yeah where her legs went uh swan she from the a swan backstage. Yeah, where her legs went swan. From the play, Swan Legs. Yeah. That was dumb. That scene was the worst.

Also, the other observation I had while watching it was that when you have Mila Kunis in a film, every 30 seconds you go, oh, that's Meg from Family Guy. film, every 30 seconds you go, oh, that's Meg from Family Guy. So every time that she says something dramatic, you're like, you picture this girl with the pink toque. So I feel like that's gonna

harm her career in the long run. Harm hers, but help Seth Green's. Sure, yeah. I think the movie would have been better if there were more robot chickens. Oh, when's Robot Chicken gonna take on black swan Yeah It's like two real birds A robot chicken

Versus black swan Versus a black swan I don't hate it Well Should we take care of some business Oh yeah that's the time. Life can be fun. Don't get carried away. You gotta do the things you don't want to do to get through the day.

You gotta shine your shoes. You gotta sweep the floor. You gotta clean your house. You gotta do some more. Take care of beers in the house. Business time. That's right. We're not some mom and pop operation. We're a corporation.

Which one would be the mom and which would be the pop? I guess I'd be the mom. Now, as we mentioned off the top of the show, this is time. It's the MaxFunDrive. And as you may or may not know, Stop Podcasting Yourself is part of the MaximumFun.org family, which includes Jordan Jesse Goh, The Sound of Young America, Judge John Hodgman, My Brother, My Brother, Me, Ourselves, The Casper Hauser Podcast, and...

And other podcasts we don't talk about. Yeah, right? Addicts Podcasts. Basement Podcasts. But this is a time of year, all the way up until March 13th, we're going to be kind of pushing our bumpers, our listeners

to donate, because we very much like being part of the MaximumFun.org family, and we'd like them to keep us around. Yeah. We, you know, it doesn't we don't get a ton of money out of this, but we get enough. It costs a lot to put on a podcast.

It does, actually. It turns out. So you're paying for us to get bandwidth. In the last year, we've upgraded our equipment quite a bit. Every week, we need to buy supplies. We need to buy usually cab fare for our guests. And basically, your donations make it so that we can do this without losing money yeah and uh and basically you know uh the the goal uh this year is to get 1200 new donors

uh that's what we got last year so we want to get what we got last year again um and it's super easy all you have to do is go to maximum maximumfund.org click on Donate. It's not going to take you to PayPal. It's an independent – it's similar to PayPal. You have to put in your credit card information. Yeah. It's money buddies. Pay babies. Hey, Graham. Yeah? What do I get if I donate?

Well, all right. You're pushing it, but I like it. Let's cut to the chase. Yeah, cut to the chase. Okay, here's what you get. I'm going to run it down for you. If you're going to donate, and these donations are per month.

You don't donate just one lump sum. They're per mo. They're pimo. Yeah. Two and five dollars per month. So, you know,

like five dollars a month, that's 60 bucks over the whole year. Hey, hey, it's five5 a month, that's $60 over the whole year. Hey, hey, it's $5 a month. You won't miss that. You won't miss it. Absolutely you won't miss it. You get the MaxFun Pack, which is stickers and a MaxFun Club membership card,

plus exclusive access to special donor-only episodes of Jordan, Jesse, Go, Judge John Hodgman, Stop Podcasting Yourself, and My Brother, My Brother and Me, plus ourselves, My Brother, My Brother and Me, and Jordan, Jesse, Go all riffed over like a 1950s, all three different 1950s educational films. Yeah, and they're super funny. Yeah. And this bonus episode,

I can't speak to the other bonus episodes you're getting, but the bonus Stop Podcasting episode you're getting is very hilarious. Yeah. It was an all-Overheard episode. People have been asking us to just do an episode of just Overheards, and we did it because we only play three Overheards. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, so they do build up. And so if you always wondered why didn't My Overheard make it on the show,

maybe it did. Yeah, this is where it will be. Yeah, so that's an all-Overheard episode. I edited it this week, and it was so fun. We maybe get a little drunk in it. Yeah, we sing a lot. We do sing quite a bit in it. So you get all that if you're a $2 or $5 per month donor.

If you're a $10 per month donor, which, again, is something I'm going to doubt that you're going to miss. And, you know, you get to help all these podcasts. Do you know how much I pay for phone and cable a month? Oh. $15,000. Yeah, exactly. So you're not going to miss $10. Yeah. You get the MaxFun pack, the exclusive access to the donor-only episodes,

and you get the MaxFun tote bag, which is the first ever. It's made by EcoBag. Yep. That's a great bag company. Yeah. It's a really good bag company. And Echo is the best dolphin company. Sure, yeah.

and Echo is the best dolphin company. Sure, yeah. And our particular tote has the keep calm and carry on version of our logo that says stop podcasting yourself. And it's fun to have a tote bag that doesn't have the name of a store that was giving out free tote bags on it. Totes. And then if you're a $20 per month, again, this puts you in the diamond friendship circle. I don't think...

You won't be bragging to your friends that you're in the diamond friendship circle. No, but you're not going to miss $20. It's our little secret. Yeah. I don't think you're going to miss $20 either because you go out to a bar one night, three drinks, roughly, that's $20 right there. Yeah. And that's one night.

Yeah. So just stay in on one Friday night and you're covered. Yeah, and listen to four episodes of our show. You get all the aforementioned stuff plus you get a special MaxFun USB drive made of wood and it has the rocket from the

MaximumFun.org website and it's filled with hand-picked episodes of your favorite MaxFun shows. And I'm sure you can delete them and put your own content on there. Oh, yeah, exactly. You want to put files on it. You want to put porn on it.

You do whatever you want. No one's putting porn on it, Graham. I'm sorry. You can if you want. Oh, thank you. For $35 per month, you get to be in Judge Hodgman's post-apocalyptic justice squad.

You get all the things, the USG drive. Yes, just go with it. Yeah. Yeah. All the things that we mentioned before, plus a highly- Do you get anything like some kind of emergency kit for nerds? You do. You get a nerd emergency kit. It includes an Eton, E-T-O-N,

self-powered AM-FM weather radio. That you, it's... Okay, so the power goes out. You can listen to the radio. That's it, right? No! No! Shut your face! They also provide, they can be,

you can plug your phone into them. They have a USB drive. They have an earphone jack so you can listen to all your light favorites. And it's stamped with the Red Cross logo. That's why I didn't ever make it in radio. Because a portion of your donation goes to support the Red Cross. As it helps people facing emergencies around the world. Did you know that about the Red Cross?

It helps people facing nerd emergencies around the world. Yes. The Nerd Emergency Kit also includes a credit card survival tool. It's the size of a credit card. It has a can opener, knife edge, screwdriver, ruler, four position wrench. Yeah. Four sexual position wrench. Yeah. A saw blade, a direction, ancillary indicator, and a lanyard hole. An LH? Yeah. A pad of graph paper, mechanical pencil. These are not on the device now.

These are separate things. White surgical tape, 20-sided dye, dinosaur band-aids, astronaut ice cream, and powdered tang. And if you're a $50 a month donor, you get all of those things. Plus, MaxFun proprietors Jesse and Teresa Thor, will send you homemade blondies in the mail. That sounds delicious. And actually, there are higher donation ranges that can get you a free dinner. Well, I mean, you're donating, so it's not exactly free. There's no such thing as a free dinner.

Yeah, you get a dinner with the Max Fun Posse in Los Angeles. Or, we're just putting this on the table right now. If you're in the Vancouver area, we will take you out to dinner. Absolutely. Where will you take me? Cactus Club. Yeah. Somewhere fun.

No, whatever you want. The sky's the limit. Yeah. We're ballers. So, yeah. Oh, and I think the... Did you mention the... Oh, there's also a book that comes with the Judge Hodgman Apocalyptic $35 a month entry

by... It's called Role Models by director and raconteur Mr. John Waters. Yeah. I think there's a lot of tips on pencil mustaches. And maintenance. I think there's a lot of tips on pencil mustaches and maintenance we would totally appreciate if you donated and if you're still if you've already been a donor if you continue to donate

yeah and thank you so much to all the people who donated the last time around it helped us cement our place with the Maximum Fun family and yeah go right now to MaximumFun.org and click on Donate. Do you want to move on to Overheard? I sure do.

Overheard. Overheard's a segment in which you can whimsically go through life overhearing people's what you assumed before were horrible conversations and turn them into comedy gold. We like to start with the guest, always. And Alicia, do you have an overheard? I just wanted to ask, are overreads considered? Sure.

Okay. We're real fast and loose with the rules here. Okay, so. He's fast and I'm loose. And together. I have rules. All right. Okay. I have rules. All right. Okay.

Now? Yeah. Yeah. Go now. If you want to. Sure. You can get out of here. I was at Whole Foods and I like to read the board at Whole Foods.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. That's a classic. Right. And, you know, usually they don't change over. There's the same complaints that have been there for months, but there is a new one. They're not always complaints. Sometimes it's people saying, hey, way to go with the rice thing.

Yeah. Thanks for the rice. Yeah, sometimes I write things like that. Okay. If there's a lot of complaints, I'm like, you guys are nice. Don't listen to these guys. And I point arrows everywhere. I point arrows everywhere?

A woman wrote that she thought it was ridiculous that at the baby food aisle that there was a display at the beginning of the aisle and she couldn't get her double wide stroller down the aisle. And life is difficult enough. Yeah, it's true. For people who can afford a $40 thing of baby food. Yeah. And whole foods and an $800 stroller and two babies in the most expensive city. Yeah. Life is a, well,

that's a, I read one not that long ago. That was somebody who said, uh, I walked all the way from downtown to, I saw on your website that you had a particular product and I walked all the way from downtown to, I saw on your website that you had a particular product, and I walked all the way from downtown, and you didn't have it. And I was like, that's not a thing you can complain about, because grocery stores have multiple things that are, like, there's no one item that there's not other things like it. Like, if you like this particular type of cookie, there are other cookies or whatever, you know what I mean? I guess.

Unless it was the one type of fruit they didn't have. Yeah, it was probably that. First world problems, am I right, guys? Yeah. Well, anything involving Whole Foods generally is a first world or above problem. That's true. Yeah, the diamond circle problem. Yeah.

Judge John Hodgman, Hiroshima Squad. What was was that dave do you have an overheard you know what i do this week oh really i'm 155 weeks in a row uh my overheard this week oh oh the listeners might be uh interested to know that our all overheard episode is all their overheard yeah it's not's not ours. Yeah, we contribute nothing. Yeah. No, we contribute some real laughs. And some groaners. Okay, my overheard this week is

I went to the bank the other day. But I just went right to the bank machine because I'm good with computers. And there was a guy standing at a little uh lectern there uh and he uh was like oh have have you heard of uh have you heard about our special offer and uh people just kept walking past him and be like no i i don't have time for this uh and uh i didn't even make it hard enough yeah i didn't even make eye contact with him so he didn't even ask me uh and then as i'm at the bank machine, someone is leaving the bank.

It's a man and a woman. And the guy at the lectern says, have you heard about our special new offer? And the guy says, I don't have time for this. He's like really in a rush, really kind of harried. And he and the woman leave. And then five seconds go by, and the guy comes back into the bank, and he says, Okay, let me hear about this offer. My wife and I had a fight.

But he went on, and he was like, I don't even go to this bank. It's not my bank. But she wants to know, his wife who was outside. I assume it was his wife. It was a girl he was trying to impress on her first date i've never seen that happen before where someone uh uh you know when you get in one of those situations where it's like an awkward basically telemarketing in person and but you get out of it and then you return and you're like, hey, actually, I want your information. Do you have anywhere I can sign for Amnesty International?

Those people are the worst. Yeah. Yeah. They're really, yeah, doing some awful work. My overheard, not surprisingly, comes courtesy of public transit. PT. Yeah, right? You're a PT cruiser The other night I was on the bus with three

of the cutest punk rock 15 year olds I think I've ever seen Boys or girls? A mix, boys and girls all done up in the classic you know late 70s early 80s oh i thought you were gonna say green day era no no this is the like classic american

idiot and uh they just the conversation they were having was just so adorable because you know they're just kind of dipping their toes in the water of being rebellious or whatever. And the girl who was sitting there, she was wearing a toque that looked like devil horns. She said, I saw this shirt that said, originality is dead. Totally going to get that shirt. And all the other guys were like that's awesome yeah so uh

and then there was another thing where she just said i can't remember what it was it was something like um oh it was something about originality like all all old things are ironic or something and then her friend went where did you come up with that? I feel like we've talked about how being a kid is so much better now because when we were a kid you couldn't get the actual superhero costumes but now you can

get them. Girls can get the like every Disney princess dress is available. You don't just get a smock that says Cinderella on it. But I think it even applies to punks. Like, you can get... Oh, yeah, well, the young girl

was wearing pants that looked like a newspaper. And the guy was wearing... Like, where else do you get skin-tight plaid pants? Where else? Besides some, like, punk store or online at punkclothes.com, you know? Yeah, I think probably the army surplus. The Scottish punk army.

I have another overheard. Oh, what? Oh, go ahead. Is it okay? This is under-precedented. Also, courtesy of public transit, there are these two construction workers on the train last night, and they were pretty

drunk, and this one guy was talking about how he was trying to fix his toilet, and how he had to put his whole head in behind his toilet so he could reach back and fix a bolt and a nut that was damaged. And he couldn't get it. And he's like, I just can't get it. I can't figure out how to bust a nut.

And then they found a pack of cigarettes when they left the train. And they were super excited. Wow. That would be. That's like every dirtbag excited. Like that is the big rock candy mountain that's right where cigarettes are just lying on the ground um i was thinking about that the other day about like a place if suddenly your uh your city became a town made of sweets

yeah and like the streets are lined with gumdrops. Turned to rot so fast. Yeah. How fast would it be? It would be like, I'm not eating anything ground level. Yeah. And also... Because people have been stepping on them.

Your town would be overcome by bees and flies within about eight hours. Yeah. And if it rains, everything is sticky. Yeah. Ew. Yeah. Big Rock Candy Mountain doesn't sound so sweet anymore. Well, of course, the raindrops are probably... Gumdrops.

Yeah, gumdrops. Ow. Yeah, you get pelted with them. You take a bath, but it's just fudge. I can't get clean. Yeah, you would be sticky forever. That's true. Yeah. Oh, that's the worst thing about candy. Romance would be dead. Like, uh, when you wrap a fruit roll up around your finger and then you suck on it. Never. That's true. That's the worst thing about candy. Romance would be dead. When you wrap a

fruit roll up around your finger and then you suck on it. Never. That's disgusting. Well, when you do it as an adult it's disgusting, but when you're an 8-year-old boy. When you're a CEO of a tough 100 Forbes company. It's acceptable. I think they're called the 100 Forbes.

100 Forbes. When you're a CEO. I'm the called the 100 Forbes. 100 Forbes. I'm your CEO. I'm the CEO of 100 Forbes. I own 100forbes.com. Don't be confused with the Forbes 500. We also have overheard sent in by listeners. If you're interested in being one of those people, you can send it in to stop podcast yourself at gmail.com.

A hundred forms. A hundred forms.com. I think that all right. This first one comes from Chrissy M, who sent us a photo to corroborate this story. It was a car in the parking lot of a grocery store. It was a Thunderbird, parking lot of a grocery store. It was a Thunderbird. Red. Cherry red

Thunderbird. And the license plate says PMS Bird. She provides a couple of theories that it might be Pam's bird, Prime Minister's bird, or actually pre-mentor syndrome bird.

So any thoughts, PMS? Yeah, I guess a thunderbird. PMS is like the thunder of feminine things. Yeah, the thunder down under. Sorry to all our female listeners for that. And to our female guests. Yeah, I feel well sorry about that

no it's just because I have PMS oh well we should take you for a ride in this car we've been maybe what it is it's an infrared inside it's an infrared car PMS why did I say oh yeah that makes no sense to me

because you're the Kool-Aid man of CMS. Oh yeah. No? Okay, gross. This next one comes from Bowen D., who has sent us stuff before. I know Bowen D. I just learned how to make a snake with my hands. Right, so some sort of, you know. learned how to make a snake with my hands. Right? So some sort of, you know.

Okay, everyone at home, take five seconds to make a snake with your hands. Make a snake with a hand. How long did it take him to learn that? He just learned. He sent a video of what the snake looked like. So look for that on the blog at MaximumFun.org. Oh, I'll put that up, I guess. Well, if you want. Upon showing Dad, he says,

that's nothing, and proceeds to make a monster-like face with his hands. Upon completion of the monster face, he says, hey, look, it's Abba the Jum, and shows me his hands. And I say, do you mean Jabba the Hutt? And he says, yeah, that guy. Abba the Jum. Dad. of the hut and he says yeah that guy there's a lot about that that's confusing especially the

making scary faces with your hand i'm not sure like a sock puppet no like uh like shadows no it i looked at the video and it's kind of like you put your fingers all together and it kind of looks like a snake. Okay. Not what I'm doing to you right now. Right, sure. Which is just a melted hot crust bun. The bloods gang fight. It's like puppetry of the penis with ten penises.

Sure. Ten penises with fingernails on them. Yeah, ten knuckle penises. Fingernail penis. Fingernail penis. And finally, this is an overseen from Caitlin T. Well, she calls it an over-experienced because it was a complete sensory overload. And this falls into our gym talk from earlier.

I go to the pool every morning to work out. That sounds fun. I would like to learn how to swim. Yeah, right? And read. And the other day I got out into the woman's locker room at the same time as the senior citizen's water aerobics class ended. As I was

changing, one elderly woman near me was rummaging through her bag and said I was inspired by Mary and her pickles, so I brought food for the class. Then, and I shit you not, about ten 80-year-old women in bathing suits swarmed to this woman and started passing around pickles from Mary, I'm guessing, and pieces of bacon as their post-aerobic snack in the locker room.

Ladies are the greatest. They're so crazy. They dye their hair purple and then they... Pass around bacon. Yeah, that's what we do. In the locker room? Yeah, after swimming. Well, you don't do it before, you'll get a cramp.

Well, I mean, women's locker rooms have got to be less gross than men's locker rooms. No way. Oh, really? No, they're disgusting. So, like, are there ladies walking around just hanging out, chatting about bacon? Yeah, there's different varieties and different levels of nudity and different levels of what people feel is okay technique in towel drying. Oh, does anybody do the one where you grab it

and you pull it through like a piece of floss? No. No? Well, that's every man in the men's locker room. Yeah, because that's a fun way to drive speaking as a guy who has been in a locker room as recently as 20 years ago i would say though that women's bathrooms and locker rooms are equally as disgusting plus there's lots of long hair everywhere and people put on perfume even though there's signs everywhere that says don't put on perfume. There's signs that say don't put on perfume?

Yeah, don't use like really like. I've never seen a sign like that. Oh, they're everywhere. And nobody, don't talk in your cell phone. It all goes on at once. Wow. In the bathroom, you're not supposed to talk on your cell phone? No, in the locker room.

I wonder if I've ever talked to somebody on the cell phone who's naked, you know? Like if without them mentioning it, like just a casual conversation there in a locker room and I'm having a full conversation with them? I guarantee I've received texts from people on the toilet. Oh, I've talked to people while they're on the toilet. It's disgusting. Why? Why would you want to talk on the toilet?

I don't know. Sometimes you go to a hotel where there's a phone right near the toilet and you've got to call somebody. I thought that was in case you fell in the hotel. You could call for help. No, no, it's a luxury thing. That's not a luxury. Why can't I have five minutes alone without a phone?

But it's not. It's in case you fall, but the phone doesn't know that. The phone cuts out. This is not an emergency call. She's lying to you. She's calling from emergency call. She's lying to you. She's calling from the bathroom. She's talking about tote bags. In addition to overheards that have been written in by you, the listener,

we also have a selection of overheards that have been freshly picked by me that have been called in by you, the listener. And if you would like to call us, our phone number is 206-339-8328. That's 206-339-TEET. It's been a while since we've spoken. Yeah, that's true. Hey, Dave and Graham. This is Eric from Orlando, Florida.

Calling in with an overheard. I work in a very kind of long, skinny office, and there's a hallway that I have to pass through that has a bunch of contractors and external consultants for the company in there. And as I was walking through here today, I heard this snippet, which seems kind of odd. One guy says, and then I'd hit him in the face with a big wad of money, but it'd be okay because he gets to keep the money.

And I'd already kind of passed by with my group at that point. I wouldn't mind being hit with a big wad of money if I got to keep it. Yeah, it's the Ted DiBiase strategy. Yeah, oh, right. The million dollar man. I watch... Alicia, we're talking about wrestling.

Oh. Well, we... Alicia and I watched last Saturday. We watched the Vintage Wrestling Collection that they show on ESPN, which is hosted by Mean Gene. Oh. Jellybean. Yeah, Mean Gene Jellybean. He lives in a city made of gumdrops. Yeah.

And when it rains, it pours. Mean Gene Jellybean. Yeah. And when it rains, it pours. Mean Gene Jellybean. Anyways, there was a match between Ravishing Rick Rude and Ricky the Dragon Steamboat. Oh, my fave. Yeah. Who won?

Oh, I hope Ricky. Nope. Oh, that's a shame. Yeah, but only because somebody came in in the middle of the match. Isn't that always the way? I hated that when I was a kid. It's so unfair. It's so unfair.

I just couldn't stand it. I want to know who the better wrestler is. I don't want to know in these eventualities. Oh, who? Because it's a crapshoot at that point. It set you up for a lifetime of realizing that things are unfair. That's not what set me up for it. Did you watch wrestling as a child?

Yeah, a little bit. i had an older brother who really liked it and my friend mike patterson who's on the show oh yeah oh yeah fantastic his brother started uh a wrestling federation in montreal of like hardcore wrestlers oh really yeah wow uh they still do wrestling matches yeah there are there's local wrestling that goes on here we've talked about it on many occasions. Yeah, and I've also, there's been many times that I've contemplated going and taking wrestling lessons. So I can find out how to be a wrestler. Where are they offered? By the honky tonk man?

Well, yeah, he's part of the thing, but he's way out in Surrey and I don't have a car. So that's really the only thing standing in my way. Dave has a car. I'll drive you to wrestling lessons. We'll talk about this. You're like the dad. Yeah, and then I'll thank you in my wrestling acceptance speech. You never forgot me.

Dave would wake up early and we'd go to wrestling classes. Dave would wait out in the car with his Tim Hortons coffee. But that was overheard. If somebody threw money in your face, let's assume that- Right at my face. Right at your face. Yeah. It would hurt.

It would hurt your pride. How much- Because you'd have to pick it up off the floor, too. That's fine. Yeah. I'm doing push-ups for money for Ted DiBiase. How much- Okay.

Someone punches you, has a fistful of money, and they actually, like, semi-punch you, like, semi-closed fist punch you in the face. Yeah. How much money makes it worthwhile? Oh, so I'm getting punched in the face, but not really hard. Yeah, you'll feel it for the rest of the day, but you won't... $200. Whoa.

$5,000. Oh, I'm more on the Graham side of, like... it for the rest of the day but you won't two hundred dollars whoa five thousand oh i'm i'm i'm more on the gram side of like i have a very nice face yeah you do yeah that's true three figures though three figures for me oh yeah yeah yeah absolutely maybe i was a little low balling with 200 maybe three maybe it happens on my lunch hour i take the rest of the day i think the weird thing is with the money isn't what's important. All of a sudden, I was like, what if they had a really good piece of cake? I wouldn't mind a delicious piece of cake. But what if most of it fell on the ground?

No, I wouldn't eat that. Onto our gumdrop city. Yeah, so let's say that somebody wants to open hand slap you in the face for a piece of cake. Yep. All right, next segment. All right, another call? Yeah, sure. hand slap you in the face for a piece of cake. Yep. Alright, next segment.

Alright, another call? Yeah, sure, but in the next segment, we're hitting her with cake. Will there be milk involved? I need milk with my cake. It has to be... Soy milk? No, real milk. Oh, real milk. I want raw milk. From the raw milk co-op. Sure, straight from the teat. Hey Dave, hey Graham, and guest, you are the best guest ever. I want raw milk from the raw milk co-op. Sure. Straight from the teat. Hey, Dave.

Hey, Graham. And guest, you are the best guest ever. Anyway, this is Daniel from Atlanta, Georgia. And I haven't overheard from you. I was at the bar at an Applebee's in Stockbridge, Georgia. And there was a couple sitting at one of the high-top tables behind me. And I didn't really hear what they were talking about much. They were keeping pretty quiet.

When all of a sudden, the guy got very loud. And he said, you have a five-year-old daughter. Baby cheetahs grow up into big cheetahs. Especially when they... That's a great overheard... Baby cheetahs. That's a great overheard. Baby cheetahs. Wow. First of all, I like how this guest started out his call.

He said, Dave and Graham and guest. But then he said and best guest ever. Yeah, you're the best guest ever. So no more probable guest. Best guest ever. That's the right way to do Yeah. So now no more probable guest. Yeah. Best guest ever. That's the right way to do it.

Let's tailor it for the guest. Yeah. A lot of people have been, or I think in the All Over Heard episode, someone made a guess at what guest we would have. I think it was you. Oh, really? Yeah, but we had no guest. I was hoping. All we guys getting really good snacks going and baking and then no guests um but yeah what would you do i think this overheard was about uh someone with buying a baby

cheetah while they bought a baby child and uh squaring them off against each other no not squaring them off but having them you know how like when two animals grow up together, they're friends for life? Yeah, yeah, like Timon and Pumbaa. Yeah, I understand. I don't think it's horrible. Yeah, I think... But you don't want a baby cheetah.

I mean, you need such a big yard with a cheetah. I think people that like exotic pets probably have the lowest possible IQ of pet owners because they're completely ignoring thousands and thousands and thousands of years of evolution where we've created society. I think it's just hundreds of years. I've only been evolving for about 10 minutes. But yeah, there should be no exotic pets and children together. But then how would you ever have somebody like Crocodile Dundee?

He wasn't real, guys. He made it worthwhile. Do you know what's crazy? He's a swamp person. The craziest shit that I've learned this week is Paul Hogan hosted the Oscars one year. What? What? As Crocodile Dundee?

No. Well, maybe. So that was in the last, like in 1987 or something? I think it was 1986. Where is he now? Does he have a show on? Where is he now? What?

Didn't he, isn't he, didn't he like cheat on his taxes? Yeah. Didn't he cheat on his crocodile? What the message here is, is stand by your crocodile. Sure. Next overheard. Okay. The final. Hi, it's that podcasting yourself. This is stand by your rock. Sure. Next overheard. Okay. The final.

Hi, it's that podcasting yourself. This is Garrison from Iowa. I have an overheard from the movie theater where I work. Last week we were showing The Green Hornet, and a teenage girl and her friends were walking out. And I heard her say, that was funny, but y'all should have been here for the squeak. Well, it was hilarious. but y'all should have been here for the squeakquel. It was hilarious.

I think it's my favorite thing is that that has just been shortened to the squeakquel. Yeah, that's weird when the sequel becomes more famous than the original. Or that you can identify it just by the marketing. Like I couldn't just say to you, I went can identify it just by the yeah

marketing like I couldn't just say to you I went and saw two yeah yeah well you could say two and then whatever the

the tagline is or oh like two judgment days if I said I went and saw something extinction what did I just go see

oh alien no no Jurassic Park no Jurassic Park extinction no Extinction. What did I just go see? Alien? No. No. Predator? Jurassic Park? No. Jurassic Park Extinction?

No. Species 2? Resident Evil. Oh, you're right. Yeah, Resident Evil. And if I was in the Oscars in 1986, who would tell me that's not an Oscar? This is an Oscar, mate. How much do you want to bet that he actually did a joke

like that during the Oscars? I don't believe you that he hosted the Oscars. I wouldn't believe me either, but look it up. It's a fact. We had a problem with Australia. Who doesn't?

So yeah, if you want to send in overheards to us at the show, it's 206-339-8328 or stop podcast yourself at gmail.com. Last week on the show. Yeah, unbeknownst to me, and Dave told me this after the fact, and see, I don't do my due diligence, but you told me that on MaximumFun.org, there's already an area on the site that's what's fun to do in your town. Yeah, on the message board. Things that you should do when you visit blank. Right.

And so I proposed this segment. I didn't do, like I say, no due diligence. I asked, what's fun to do in your town that you're listening from? And people responded. So obviously, they haven't been to the forum, like me. That's fine. We can bring the forum to life in the form of whatever we're about to do. And Dave, for his part, because I sprang the segment on him very much,

he said that when he likes to go to a town he's never been to before, he wants to know what channel TBS is on. Sure, yeah. Oh, I think we got a few of those. Yeah, so the first one comes from Kathleen. She is from Somerville, MA. Massachusetts. Yep.

We're not going to that town. No one wants to know what to do. I might. I might. Because they have the Museum of Bad Art, located in the basement of the Somerville Theater. I love that museum. You can look at it online. It's amazing. Oh, really? My friend has a painting in it.

Andrea Schmidt. Oh, really? Yeah, she submitted one. Oh, it's so great. You should submit some of your beard work. I think my beard work's okay. I don't think it's bad. No, it was good for a while.

Oh, Dave. Sadly, I do not own a TV, so I don't know what station TBS is here, but apparently it's always funny. Okay. Yeah. So, a museum of bad art. That's kind of like the character from Black Swan. His house is like a museum of bad art. That's kind of like the character from Black Swan. His house is like a museum of bad art.

Yes. This next one comes from Angelo F. And he is from your hometown, Alicia, of Montreal. Hi, Angelo. He says... Try the poutine. Try the roast chicken. You have to go to La Banquise.

It's a restaurant. Do you know that? Nope. He says it's good. For a bunch of quibes, I bet. Or Schwarma at Boustan. Oh, yeah, Boustan is very good. If you're cultured, you go to the Fine Arts or the Musée d'Art Contemporain de Montréal.

If you want an alcoholic beverage, you go to Hurley's. Is Hurley's good? No. Okay. Don't do that. Maybe Angelo likes it. I'm sorry. Pro tip.

Mention that Toronto sucks whenever you have the opportunity. Yeah. It's a good tip. That's pretty useful everywhere in Canada. But not with Anglophones. We're like, it's good. There's jobs there. Anyways. And there's no TBS.

I don't think they have TBS. No, there's no TBS in Canada. This one comes from Lisa M. She's from Austin, Texas. So, you know, outside of the South by Southwest. Sure. We call it South by. In a festival-going industry.

Let me see. Let's see. Ribs. You've got to eat ribs. Yeah. Hands down, has to be done. A movie at the Alamo Drafthouse. Various locations with anything from current to re-screenings to obscure films.

Plus, the food is amazing and you can drink. There's nothing quite as fun as drinking during a movie. That is... Is there anywhere you can do it around here? No. At the Rio. Yeah. Wink, wink.

Oh. No, I think they have a liquor license for non-movie events, but I don't know if you can drink at the movies. They've also had, they've been lucky enough to be in town during one of their, if you're lucky enough to be in town during one of their most signature screenings, they have a Shaun of the Dead quote-along and an action-packed commando screening with explosives and cap guns. That sounds great.

A quote-along sounds awful. Everyone talking during the movie is like a sing-along, but you're just quoting the movie. That sounds like the worst. Although I bet everyone who goes to that thinks they're pretty cool. Now, I went to a movie theater in Europe where you can drink. Right. And the three things I remember, I saw Spider-Man at a movie theater in Switzerland.

And the three things I remember were every movie gets an intermission. That's so crazy. And Spider-Man, oh, oh yeah the second thing i remembered was you could drink and the third thing i remember was uh in spider-man everyone laughed there's a scene where uh they take a turkey out of the oven and everyone laughed at how big the turkey was because everyone in europe has really small ovens. And turkeys don't exist in Europe. That's because they're not very good hunters. That's why.

Yeah, sure. So, and then, you know, I mean, this is an exhaustive list of things. This sounds really fun there. It does. There's all, she gave a ton of places to go see music, a ton of places to go eat, outdoor stuff, historical. So pretty good. And TBS is Channel 65.

Oh, thank goodness. Surrounded by awesome stations. 64 is TMC. 66 is USA. 59 is Comedy Central. Pretty good. Sure, yeah. When I was a kid, we got a cable package that had four super stations, they were called.

And one was TBS, one was WGN Chicago, one was KTLA Los Angeles. It might have just been three. No, I think there was a Boston one in there. Yeah. Boston PZZA. Sure, yeah. Pizza? You're an idiot.

day sure yeah you're an idiot carl k uh wrote and he uh he wrote about appleton wisconsin oh sounds beautiful yeah first up this is this is probably my favorite thing so far he goes first up some background and history on the area situated along the fox river in beautiful wisconsin appleton has a few things going for it. You see the Fox river connects with the great lakes and also goes pretty near the Wisconsin river, which connects to the Mississippi river prior to the proliferation of railroads. It was crucial traffic,

something, something. So he lost track of, you got bored during that. Cause so did I. It was, You got bored during that? Because so did I. Appleton was home to the first house lit by hydroelectricity. Hydroelectricity is like weed, right?

That's how they find them. Some notable locals, Harry Houdini. Ah, the Diener. Joe McCarthy. The Carther. Willem Joe McCarthy. The Carther. Willem Dafoe. Dafoe. And pro football legend Rocky Bleer?

Yep, the Bleer. He's one of those football legends that's not so legendary that anyone knows his name. There's two comedy clubs there. There's the Skyline Comedy Cafe and the Comedy Quarter. He says the Skyline gets better acts. And there's a place called Cleo's that's a favorite of Louis Black and many other performers when they come to town. So if you're in Appleton, Wisconsin, that's where you can go meet Louis Black. I bet you he probably rants a lot when he drinks. I bet there's good cheese there.

Oh, yeah. Absolutely. They're probably the finest in the country. Did he mention cheese? I wonder if people there wear the cheese heads when they're not supporting football. Is that a football thing? I thought that was a cheese thing. No, it's a football thing.

I thought it was really like cheese. Oh, my God. Really? No. It's like how everyone in Vancouver, when we root for the local football team, we wear salmon on our heads. When we root for the Seattle Seahawks. Real salmon, though. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, it's so cheap here.

That's why the seagulls attack us. The city's made of salmon. The streets are paved with gills. Also, in Appleton, Wisconsin, TBS is Channel 25. Ooh, that's low. Yeah, that's good, right? Good for TPS. Every time you say TPS, I think of toilet paper.

It's not TPS. TBS. Toilet paper. What does it stand for? Turner Broadcast System. Oh, yeah, I know that show. And finally, Melissa R., and we also have one that's been called in. Yeah.

Melissa R. is from Lafayette, Louisiana. No, we're not going to Lafayette, Louisiana. Well, you never know. But, for example, she says, We're not going to Lafayette, Louisiana. Well, you never know. But, for example, she says, about 30 minutes away from the town in which I live is the plant where Tabasco pepper sauce is manufactured. Oh.

Yeah. You can go there and taste all sorts of things that you could never have had anything even remotely to do with peppers, like ice cream. Oh. Tabasco ice cream. Yeah. Also, if you're in the mood to uh drown while you're here you can visit the salt domes which are on the same island as the plant hmm no not in the mood

yeah alternatively if you just rather just if you'd rather just observe other people suffering you can visit the last remaining leper colony in north America. Okay, so I can drown or I can see people suffering. Yeah, that's in Carville, Louisiana. And TBS is on Channel 31. Okay, good. So I enjoyed that segment. While you're out looking at lepers and Tabascos, I'll be back in the hotel room watching Everybody Loves Raymond rerun.

We also have a phone call from someone who has tips for their town. Oh. Hi, Dave Graham guest. This is Alex. I am from Houston, and I was just listening to this week's episode, and I like Graham's idea about the cultural exchange. There are a lot of fun things to do in Houston. Most of them you could probably find, like the Visitors and Convention Bureau,

museums, parks, zoos, whatever. But I really want to tell you all about something fun I did in Milwaukee earlier this year. Milwaukee is almost as good a town as Houston, but they have something that we don't, and it is a life-size bronze statue of Henry Winkler. Happy Days was set in Milwaukee. There's this bridge in Milwaukee. There's a life-size statue of Henry Winkler. He's, like, dressed as the Fonz.

He has his thumbs up like, hey. Life-size is, like, about about five four for him so there are a lot of pictures of me my thumbs up holding like a paps in milwaukee with that statue uh houston has nothing as good as that so if you ever go to milwaukee i don't know where it is you're gonna have to find it on your own they're very friendly there. Someone will help you. Have a good day. Send us a photo of you standing with the Henry Winkler statue already. Yeah. Is it Winkler or Winklevoss?

I also like that Detroit has apparently got the full go-ahead for the RoboCop statue. Good, good, good. That'll be standing after that city's burned to the ground. Isn't that city dying no bro that's why they're building a robocop statue one thing at a time dave sure to all our listeners in detroit congratulations on your new statue yeah um let's all hope it doesn't come to life and murder you uh now she was she she talked in that phone call about Henry Winkler's statue being life-sized.

And it made me, I imagined, I realized that most statues are life-sized. And you also thought that Henry Winkler was larger than life. So you thought 5'4 is a little short. No, but you never see a commemorative statue of someone and it's like a foot high. Or it's gigantic. It's 12 feet tall. You sometimes see a bigger, but you would never see we love Henry Winkler in this town.

Check out this action figure. But the Statue of Liberty is a statue. Yeah. Touché, but we don't know that it's not life-size. Yeah, we've never met her. When it left France, it was life-size. Was it from our friends in France? Yeah, we've never met her. When it left France, it was life-size. And it just grew in power. Was it from our friends in France? Yeah, I think so. Or from our friends in

and by our friends, I mean America's friends. America's best friend, the friend. I sort of feel like it was here the whole time. Like that... I thought it was a gift from France. No, I think it's like millions of years old and it was

it's like the monolith. Oh, yeah. It was there gift from France. No, I think it's like millions of years old. And it's like the monolith. Oh, yeah, yeah. It was there during monkey times. It was there all through the X-Men movies, et cetera. And speaking of the X-Men movies, I would just like to give a shout out to Kelsey Grammer. Yeah. Who played Beast. Yeah, that's right.

I'll see grammar. Yeah. I played Beast. Yeah, that's right. So that brings us more or less to the end of the episode. Alicia, if people want to find you online, where is your web presence? You're a Twitterer. I know you're an avid Twitterer. Oh, you're such a good Twitterer.

Thanks, guys. I'm on Twitter. Where can people find you at Twitter? I have a Tumblr account. I take pictures of old toys. That's the thing that I like to do. And what's it called? How do people find it?

It's called I Relate Strongly. So is it Tumblr slash I Relate Strongly? Alicia Tobin. Alicia Tobin at Tumblr. And what are you on Twitter? Alicia A. Tobin. Alicia A. Tobin. It's like pulling teeth now.

You were so good and now you're like, I don't know. Yeah, I really liked twittering and sometimes I do shows around town. Mostly burlesque. Ugh, I hate burlesque, Dave, so much. Can we have an how much I hate burlesque episode? Yes. I did a performance last night and our friend Charlie's wife said, was that burlesque? And I was like, no.

Because I did that Rihanna thing that I do. Oh, right. You do a dance to a Rihanna song. Which is the opposite of burlesque. Right. So check out Alicia A. Tobin on Twitter. And Tumblr slash Alicia Tobin. And Tumblr slash Alicia Tobin.

And also, you know, as we were saying before, this is the beginning of the MaxFunDrive. If you want to donate, the membership levels go all the way from $2 all the way up to $200. Per month. Yeah. And you go to MaximumFun.org. Click on Donate. You can win, depending on the level that you donate, different prize packs, gift packages. Gift packs.

You don't win them. You earn them. Yeah, you earn them by donating. And please, do consider donating. If you like the podcast, if you've enjoyed it and downloaded it, we are part of the MaximumFun.org family, and we'd like them to keep us on board, and we'd like to support the entirety of it. We like not losing money on this.

Absolutely. So MaximumFun.org. Click on Donate. You can win. Not win. Earn. Get. Get the tote bag that we mentioned.

Can I just reiterate that this special episode that we made was so funny. It's so funny. And you'll want to hear it. So if you're somebody who's donated in the past, thank you for being a donor. And if you're considering, if you're on the fence, now's the time. Now's the time to donate. Just go to your computer, MaximumFun.org, click on Donate. Graham, is there anything you would like to promote?

Still going to be painting with my beard, despite what you say about trimming my beard. I'm a big fan of the Bad Art Museum. I may submit one to there. Who knows? And I would just like to mention that every week I post a blog, a recap blog of things we've talked about on the episode. And actually someone on our message board just posted a link to the Febreze commercial on the message board. And it was at the top of the blog. So I feel like people don't know the blog exists.

The blog is one of my favorite parts. Yeah, just go to StopPodcastingYourself.com. It'll take you to all the blog entries. Yes. Yeah, because from last week's episode, you can see a picture of the Rider Strong mask in Katie Ellen Humphrey's freezer. Yeah. So if you want to see that, that's where you have to go.

Terrific. Yeah, and thank you so much for listening. Again, if you're thinking about donating, please think about it and then do it. Yeah, stop thinking about it, as a matter of fact. Yeah, just do it. The more you think about it, the more scared you'll get. It's like a diving board.

Just run off the end. Yeah. You'll enjoy the cold feeling of the water. It's like skinny dipping. I've never skinny dipped. Just tuck your wiener between your legs and jump off the end of the thing. That's not a technique, is it? Just one of the girls.

Yeah, go to MaximumFun.org, click on Donate, and come back next week for another enthralling episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself. Thank you.