Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 157 - Amanda Brooke Perrin

Episode Date: March 16, 2011

Comedian Amanda Brooke Perrin joins us to talk about ABC's TGIF, Jurassic Park, and waaaay too much Canadian stuff.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 157 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who hates those rotten kids upstairs, Mr. Dave Shumka. I was telling Graham before we started the show that the upstairs people were being awful and it seems like they were wearing cowboy boots, walking around on hardwood floors, and you said that the kids were being the worst and they were crying,

and I said that I actually like when the kids cry, because I don't like the kids. Their pain brings you pleasure. Yeah, it's... Kind of like a... what do they call those? Mistress? Madam? What are those? Dungeon masters? Oh, dominatrices?

That's what I was looking for. Dominatrices? They're like waitresses. The dominatrix of the sky. Is that Schadenfreude? Am I pronouncing that right? Yes. Okay. Yeah. Your upstairs neighbors are German, correct? Yeah.

It's only Schadenfreude if you enjoy a German being punished. Oh, okay. Sure. Next. Next. Our guest this week, all the way from my own personal hometown, a lady who's going to move to Vancouver in the not-too-distant future, a very, very funny comedian, Miss Amanda Brooke Perrin is our guest. Yay! Hey! I'm a space robot!

No, that's so stupid. Hi! Hey, how's it going? Thanks for having me, guys. I'm so excited. Well, thanks for being our guest. This is like a credit. I can put this on my resume. I wonder if anyone has. Yeah, put's it going? Thanks for having me, guys. I'm so excited. Well, thanks for being our guest. This is like a credit. I can put this on my resume.

I wonder if anyone has. Yeah, put it near the top. I would. I actually would. For realsies. I think it would hold a lot of water in this town. Yeah. Yeah, exactly.

Is that a saying? Hold a lot of water? Yeah. Yeah, for buckets. Yeah, it comes from the bucket industry. Jack and Jill industry. Yeah, sure. Jack and Jill industry. Yeah, sure. Jack and Jill and Associates.

Bucket manufacturers. Well, do you want to get to know us? Yes, I would. Get to know us. So you are from Calgary? Born and raised in Calgary? I was born in Brockville, Ontario. Oh, okay. are from california born and raised i was born in brockville ontario oh okay um which has a lot of

uh antique stores if you'd like to ever go oh i would where else can i fly them back exactly i would send them on the greyhound i would fly back no i would fly them back i'd take the but then someone would chop off his head okay too, too soon? Is it too soon to make jokes about that? I think it's just too unpleasant. It's not a good story. A guy, if people don't know, a guy in Canada got his head chopped off. Well, he didn't get his head chopped off.

Well, he did. No, no, but when you say... Oh, sorry, I guess he did. He didn't sign up to have his head chopped off. Well, nobody does. Well, well... Dominatrix off. Well, nobody does. Well. Dominatrix people. Yeah, you're right.

Now, the last time I saw you, we were in Calgary. Yes. You were hosting a comedy show. Comedy Monday Night. That's right. And before every guest, you had just gotten an iPhone? An iPhone. No, not that spiffy.

Okay, go ahead. I got, um, uh... What's your... An iPod? iPod. And you were playing a different TV theme song for every comedian that would come up. And it was great, because even when that idea didn't, like, get all the traction, you still did it for every comic which was amazing well yeah you can't just like be like oh i like these people and then bring up someone up to like your own

theme song like oh this person's coming up next yeah like that would be sad so um and it was all like family matters and full house and uh step by step oh step by step it was the whole tgif lineup yeah which i used to watch every friday so it was a great sister sister sister sister and then they were so stupid in it like they were the worst people on earth the maoris tia and tamara maori they were the worst people in the yeah i think one of them does porn now. No. No, you're thinking of the girl from Family Matters. Yeah. Wait, who does porn? Steve Irwin.

Oh, Jaleel White. Yo, I can't even. I love Jaleel White so much. I didn't know if it was going to end with you loving him or hating him. Jaleel White, no. Get out of my house. No, but whenever he went to Stefan, I'm like, just be yourself. Oh, so you didn't like, did you like it when he turned into a robot?

That was like near the end, wasn't it? Oh, like Stefan wasn't. Yeah. Stefan. Stefan was near the end as well. Yeah. Why did they even have, they were like. Oh, because they were grasping at straws.

But I remember thinking he was cute, but I was like, but Urkel, he likes cheese. Just leave him alone, you know? Did he like cheese or did he just want to know if you had any? Yeah, like maybe he was allergic to it and he wanted to make sure you didn't have any. I never saw him eat the cheese. That's true. Yeah, he was all talk. It's Urkel.

But now he's in like... Now he's in pornos? Some sort of pornos some sort of porno no no this this is a different he went on a different life journey he went to like sharkasaurus versus oh right right right oh yeah that's right yeah there's megalodon versus super dracula or something yeah i've seen all of those have like early 90s stars in them, like a Tiffany or a Debbie Gibson or a Danica McKellar. Or what's his name? Used to ride the motorcycles. Lorenzo Llamas.

Lorenzo the Llama Llamas. Fun nickname. So you're living in Calgary. You've had enough. No more Calgary. You've had enough of here. I think Calgary's fun to start off with. It's a good starter city.

Yeah, it's like, get your motors run. Get out on the highway. Head somewhere else. I'm getting on the highway and going to Vancouver. But they have a good comedy scene right now. I think everyone

naturally moves away from their hometown, I guess. Yeah. Not Dave. But you know what? You guys moved to my hometown. That's right. Joke's on you. Advantage you. Yeah.

So you're out here. you're investigating the city. Yeah, I was supposed to. It turned into a lazy vacation. What did you find out about the city? You must have gathered something. Yeah, there's a lot of pretty people. I saw in a Starbucks a guy from Dark Angel. I never watched the show, but I was with a guy who was like, oh my, and then he Googled him and showed me a picture and I was like, what is he doing now?

Wait, he Googled him? No, not. Sorry, my friend Matthew. My friend Matthew Googled him. But he had to Google himself? He didn't have like, he didn't have a bookmark? Who am I? He just asked that question of the mirror every morning.

He's like, all I know is I was on Dark Angel. Was Dark Angel the Jessica Alba series? Yeah. And they had barcodes. Sponsored by James Cameron. Yeah. Sponsored by?

What do you call it when you're... Produced? Thank you. Produced, created, both of us things. Anything other than what you just said.

Sponsored by Speed Slope. Yeah, that show was made here in Vancouver. You'll get to see a lot of movies and television shows you've never seen getting made. Yeah. And you'll never see again. Hopefully I can be on something like that. Oh, totally you can. I would love that.

Sure. Graham and I are on something right now. We're on one. Really? We are on... Planet of the Apes rise of the caesar oh there's a and then there will be random uh in the middle of springtime there will be um snow everywhere because uh they're doing a christmas movie yeah yeah they start making

yeah they had they made like a muppets christmas movie a couple years ago in town and like everybody i knew was an extra in it. That's awesome. Graham is only friends with puppets. Yeah. My friend Grover was in it. Not the famous Grover, same name. That would be such a happy childhood, until you found out that none of them were real.

That you were friends with just hands? Yeah, your parents just being every single friend you've ever had. Oh, man. That would be a very Lars and the Real Girl-esque type independent film. Again, here we go. Again, here we go. Oh, just like that movie. Again, here we go.

So how long have you been in Calgary for? I guess 22 years. That's a long time. Yeah. You went to Bishop Grandin. See, I got all this from Facebook. That's scary, actually. Yeah, well, you're the one who put Bishop Grandin on your Facebook page.

Now, is Bishop Grandin the autistic person who knows how to kill cows? What? Is that a thing? No. Bishop Grandin It's Temple Grandin And I don't know if that's quite right about her Well yeah Who is Bishop Grandin?

How would I know? I just went there There wasn't a picture of him or her? Wait can women be bishops? What was your high school called? Lord Beaverbrook Who was Lord Beaverbrook? He was like a businessman. He was like a really good... So Lord was his first name?

No, he became a lord because he was awesome at business. So he wasn't like a guy that did, like he didn't fight, you know, the Moors. Canada used to be run by Moors. Now they just run the suit stores.

So dumb. So how do you get the title of lord or dame because i would love to be dame amanda brook parren you have to be british oh uh okay well you have to like if you want to get a lordship or a ladyship or what did uh what did conrad black become oh he's a lord uh uh sure he's a conrad i think you conrad is the title as well conrad black conrad conrad black conrad conrad black he became conrad lord of blackwater or something like that but he had to give up his canadian citizenship in order to get it and that's why he was in jail in the States, because he doesn't have, like, they couldn't extradite him. Nobody knows who that is.

Really? Yeah. He was a famous guy. Famous for? He used to own all the, like, Toronto Star and stuff like that. Is that a, what is that? Newspaper? Oh, those don't exist.

True. And what else can I ask you about Calgary? You say you're going to spend one more summer in Calgary so you can enjoy the Stampede, your favorite thing of the year. I haven't been there in two years because I've gone down to L.A. for two months each summer for the past two years. Just a lounge by the pool. No, no, no, no. I took classes actually at the Upright Citizens Brigade and the Groundlings. How was that?

It was a lot of fun. Like, completely different schools, though. Groundlings is more, like, character-based. And then I was just about to say, an Upright Citizens Brigade is more, like, get funny. Like a boot camp. But, like, yeah, it was, yeah, both of them were super fun. And I got to see a lot of comedy death ray shows, which were great.

Nice. Yeah. Where did, when you were there, did you stay in Los Angeles or Hollywood? Hollyweird? Hollywood. That's kind of nice. That's cool. L.A.?

You're so Hollywood. L. Lay. You're so Hollywood. The first time I went, I stayed in a vacation rental, and it was the most expensive thing ever, but I was super close to everything. And then the second year, I was smarter and stayed with another comedian that lived like 30 minutes outside of Hollywood. That must have been a lot of fun, being with comedians.

Lots of laughs. Yeah. Just like our moments right now, you guys. Was it like the movie Funny People? in their pool. That must have been a lot of fun being with comedians. Lots of laughs. Yeah. It was just like our moments right now, you guys. Was it like the movie Funny People? It was like the movie

Funny People mixed with Jurassic Park. Explain the Jurassic Park. Will I get out of here alive? And I also went on the ride when I was in Disneyland. It was mixed with Jurassic Park because I went on the ride

every day. I've I went on the ride every day. I've never been on that ride. What goes on in the ride? Do you get chased by a Tyrannosaurus Rex? I didn't go to Universal Studios. I don't even know if it was a Jurassic Park ride at Disneyland. It was like, but it was dinosaur. It was very sketchy.

It was Disneyland themed. It was good. So, wait, is there a Jurassic Park ride at Disneyland? I don't know, and I don't care. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Shit just got real. No, there's Universal Studios. I'm willing to go ahead with it.

I'm yes-anding. Yeah, I know. Hey, yeah. I learned that this summer. Where at? The Grelings in UCB. Yeah, we could have saved some money. Both at the same time. What? i heard one was more character based yeah but you're yes which one was more dinosaur based yeah

the disney one yeah yeah that was now here's a um thing completely unrelated to jurassic park well i don't have any do you did you grow up watching that was that like a pivotal movie for you i love i guess if you were part of the tgif crowd that would have fallen in well yeah i just think like have you listened to the jurassic park theme song and how's that changed your life is my question to both of you right now uh dave i'll let you answer i will say this right now that uh listeners know this that uh my fiance abby and i are considering that for the the music for her to walk down the aisle to oh my god actually i just fungasmed because that's so so great i love that so much uh i don't know that's

so great oh my, my God. And what was the thing in your vows you're going to call Abby a clever girl? Sure, yes. And the minister is going to say nature always finds a way. Yeah, and then everyone would be given a glass of water, and we would look to see if it ripples. And if it does, the wedding goes through. The wedding was a success. Is Jeff Goldblum going to be the priest?

Yeah, yeah. He's going to. Well, you're getting a lookalike. Yeah. He's very preachy, though, about his chaos theory. Yeah, so true. He's like, this stuff isn't all God, guys. Let me break it down for you.

Oh, okay. If we had a complete Jurassic Park-themed wedding, I think it would be great. If you know how they have... Raptor ring bear. Go. They have those gag ice cubes that are like a fake ice cube with a fake fly in it. If we had ones that

were made of amber and had a mosquito in it with dinosaur blood. No, that's what your rings should be in. They should be in amber and then uh you know they have a scientist drill into it to bring to extract the ring and then uh somebody puts it in a dinosaur egg in a nest and then walks that down the aisle i have a really good idea for your cutlery at your wedding you you know those uh the dinosaur things you get at zoos there where

you touch you hit the clamp and it opens? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You just give that to people and they have to find someone to cut and eat all of the food with two of those. So everybody gets two dinosaur clamp things and then just kind of like... Oh my god. Yeah, and the wedding cake, it won't look like a cake. It'll look like a giant mound of Triceratops poop.

Yeah. And Laura Dern will be there with giant gloves on to serve people this fudge. Instead of cutting the cake, you and Abby will just put your hands into the cake. It's sick. Trying to figure out why the Triceratops is sick. Oh man, what a movie, am I right? Yeah. It's sick. Trying to figure out why the Triceratops is sick. Oh, man. What a movie. Am I right?

Yeah. And then we kill Newman. Oh, yeah. Everybody's, if you decide to do gift bags, it should be all in those Barbasol cans that open up and then there's a thing that says, like, thanks for coming to the wedding. I don't remember the Barbasol cans. What? That's how he smuggles out the DNA. It's like a fake Barbasol. Oh, okay. thing that says like thanks for coming to the wedding i don't remember the barbasol what that's how he smuggles out the dna it's like a fake barbasol oh yeah newman starts everything yeah

oh yeah jeff goldblum also said the postman from seinfeld always finds a way well he goes um uh so yeah you were now you watched TGIF growing up, right? Going back to that for a second. I had a thought today because you know, uh, how Charlie Sheen's been fired or whatever. He's been discontinued. Yeah. Um, and they're like discussing like, why don't we have John Stamos on? Everybody loves him.

All those actors have kind of just stayed around because I think people have like warm feelings towards them because of that show. Why don't they just put that show back on, only now everybody's grown up? And it's just full house, but everybody's just grown up and they live in maybe a bigger house to make it more realistic. Yeah, are any of them crazy? Jodie Sweetin was on Meth. Yeah, but not anymore. Yeah.

So that's good. Okay. DJ's not crazy uh whatever her real name is candace cameron beret i uh that's right um you know that that's a big deal i went to dave coulier's house this summer no you didn't i swear to god what how tell us all about it yes please um i went down with chris gordon oh in a theater sorry anything with dave coulier and going down um man you ought to know listen you ought to know okay and then he invited chris over for a barbecue and so i was with chris and we went there and it was like i don't know just a but like a small gathering of his friends. It was super weird. We were just at Dave Kool Use.

His friends, Mr. Woodchuck. Bullwinkle. Exactly. Cut it out, Dave. Cut it out. And then we were sitting down and talking to this one guy who looked like Tom Hanks for a really long time. And then he just... And they're like, ew, it's Colin Hanks.

Yeah. Get away, Band of Brothers. That was a great series. Yeah. Get away, Band of Brothers. That was a great series. Okay. ADD. And then he, the guy they were talking to looks like Tom Hanks

just dropped out of nowhere that he manages like all of the SNL people, which I love SNL. So I... Savings and loan, yeah. Died, obviously. Oh, you died.

I died there. Like that movie Flatliners. Yeah, Flatliners or Jurassic Park. You were Newman. I was the Newman at the barbecue. But it was super weird. What if that's the same, like I say, oh, my grandmother Newman did a barbecue.

But it has to be a death as the result of something spitting in your face. That works as Paul Newman too, right? Because Paul Newman's... Yep. They're both no longer with us. Yeah. Why do I keep hearing Newman dead?

Newman from Seinfeld is dead. Not the guy who played him. The character was axed. Also, the character Newman isn't dead. Yeah. I was trying to think of an episode I missed where Newman died. Well, the ending of the show was implied, right? That he's not, he was overweight.

Did any characters on Seinfeld die? I mean, like, people died on Seinfeld, but not any of the, no one was lying. George's wife? Oh, right. Yeah, that was probably. From licking envelopes, right? Yeah. Yeah, that was a notable Seinfeld right. Yeah, that was probably... From licking envelopes, right? Yeah.

That was a notable Seinfeld death. Yeah. Uncle Leo just died in real life. That's sad. Well, he was old. I didn't know him. I don't think it's sad. You didn't go to a barbecue at his house? No, I didn't.

I've been to so many, though. It's crazy. So many old celebrity barbecues. wait now uh did at any point did dave coulier do any impressions no what he was did he even know he was hosting a barbecue i know right why do people show up to dave coulier's barbecues if not for anybody had like a weird grotto type it wasn't even a grotto it was just like a hot tub surrounded by rocks i don't know why i think the rocks i think were speakers yeah, were speakers. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Made to look like rocks.

Is that a thing? Oh, yeah, those are a thing. Really? Yeah, but I can't confirm or deny that Dave Coulier has them. He for sure didn't have those. Okay. You listened to the rocks.

Yeah. You went over and put your ear up. I tried. I really, I was like, this isn't legit, unless he has rock speakers. I'm out of here. But he didn't. So you met the guy who's the agent

for everybody at saturday night live which sounds like a dubious yeah i would be like i manage everyone don't ruin this for me you guys i was really excited so uh but then i got awkward and i was like do i give him my business card? It's a small gathering of people. It was too awkward. So what I did do, this is so douchey. I put my business card, which has my gigantic face on it going, ah, like making a scared face. I put it in the flowers he brought for Dave's girlfriend so that he could maybe look at it one more time and be like, oh, that was nice of me. And then see my card in the flowers. Or maybe he would think, oh, it looks like somebody's trying to claim my flowers.

Maybe, which is maybe why he didn't call me or email me. Wait, so your strategy was that he would look at his flowers again and say, oh, that was nice of me. Like he has extremely short-term memory. Like he's memento. Or a goldfish. like he has extremely short term memory

like he's memento or a goldfish wasn't Tom Hanks in a movie where he loses his memory I'm sure he's done he's done everything cast away oh did he lose his memory in that

no I was just going along with saying a movie oh I understand Turner and Hooch no wait a minute when you said you No, I was just going along with saying a movie. Oh, I understand. Turner and Hooch. Sorry. Thank you. No, wait a minute. When you said you, like, oh, this is what I did to leave my number with him. This is so douchey. I thought it was going to involve, like, mustard or something because it was at a barbecue.

Like, you were going to spell out your name with mustard or something like that. So you actually ended up leaving your number with Dave Coulier's girlfriend. Has she called? Technically. No, she hasn't called either, which I would have also taken. Yeah. How many impressions do you think she does? Probably just one of Dave doing impressions. Oh, wow.

But that's like wishing for more wishes. That kind of works. She's like a genie. You're right. I only do one impression. The man of a genie. You're right. I only do one impression. The man of a thousand voices. That was really good.

Thanks. Did you meet any other famous people down there? The guy who reps SNL. Yeah. And Dave Coulier. Yeah, he reps everyone on SNL. Dave Coulier's girlfriend. I met Fred Armisen. Oh, really?

Yeah. Wow. But I made a bad impression because I'm not good at life. Because you were like, bow ankle, I learned this from Dave Coulier. Bad impression? Yeah. What was your bad impression? What did you do?

I walked up to him with my hands on my face like Kevin from Home Alone. Like your business card. Like my business card. And I just went, oh my God. Like such a celebrity lover. Like a groupie, I guess. Yeah. A fanboy.

I couldn't really form words. And he probably gets that all the time. I don't know how to function as a human. Anyways, okay. And then I met Zach Alphanakis. Super nice guy. So nice. Yeah.

I love Zach. His girlfriend's from Edmontonon so he talked to us more which is good did you guys talk about West Edmonton Mall uh yeah mostly

no we didn't actually talk about that at all why do you lie why because I just want to fit in um trust me as long as

as long as you know Dave Cooley you're cool with us at Groundlings they teach you yes and no yes and i'm sorry um uh i met andy dick which was what which was really weird he's just uh i don't he had that ankle anklet yeah uh thing, like for, because he was, what, the anti-drinking one? Yeah, yeah. Wow. Yeah, so he had that.

Just say no. Anti-drinking, it was a PSA. Yeah, every time he takes a drink, he goes, come on, dude. Arrive alive. Remember News Radio? Click it or take it. Wow, because when I said, did you meet any other celebrities i thought the answer was gonna be like no but you met a lot of celebrities yeah it was mostly like uh comedians who hung around

ucb because we lurked there yeah after shows and stuff that's great though yeah so and now you're gonna be a vancouverite and simon king when he was down there visiting, he got cut off by William H. Macy, which I thought was amazing. On the street? On the street, driving. And apparently Simon was really angry. And then he saw it was William H. Macy and he just gave like a high five motion and then drove away. And they're like, oh, William H. Macy. Of course he can cut off anyone.

Yeah, even the cops know that. I call him Bill Macy. Oh, yeah? Wowvd commentary yeah yeah yeah um well welcome to vancouver thank you for having me oh well we're the ambassadors you're the mayors yeah we yeah we're the co-mayors a mayor's thing you guys there's a lot more of that coming. Oh, boy. Dave, what's going on with you? You just came back from L.A. Here's something I've noticed about myself lately. If you download a lot of podcasts, as I do, you sort of end up with a backlog of them. And it's like, I enjoy all of these things, but I've fallen way behind on them.

Or you might have the same thing happen with your DVR. It'll just fill up with shows. And you're like, I want to watch this, but it's getting full. I don't have time for these. I have to make some sacrifices. You've got to make some decisions. Well, I have been like that, but with candy. Go on.

Dave has the world's first ever candy PBR. Well, we have these two baskets that we keep by the fridge that are filled with candy. And there's candy in there from the day after Halloween. I will go. Really? And I will go and I'll buy tons and tons of cheap discounted day after Halloween candy. And then the day after Christmas, a bunch of candy goes on sale. And then the day after Valentine's Day, a bunch of candy goes on sale. And then the day after Valentine's Day, a bunch of candy goes on sale.

Wow. So I've just been eating candy nonstop. And I discovered we had this candy leftover from Halloween. And it was Smarties, which are different in Canada. Is that a favorite? Well, I enjoy Smarties. Yeah, yeah. In the States, Smarties are like rockets.

Yeah, they're like a powder sugar candy. But in Canada, Smarties are kind of like a chocolate M&M sort of thing. Yeah, confection. A plain M&M, yeah. It's a candy-coated chocolate. And I opened up the pack, and they were all white. Wow! Like old dog turds.

Oh, no. So that's... Just from this Halloween? Yeah, I thought that was strange, too, because I imagine that there's candy on the shelf of every 7-Eleven that is six months old. How do you know that they weren't ghost-themed candy because it was Halloween? Well, because I ate

them back then, and they weren't ghost-themed. Did you try one of them? No. Why? Gosh. Maybe your house got haunted and that's how they turned white. So they were like scared? Yeah, they were scared that the color drained from them. That would be a good campaign if they were going to make all white Smarties. And be like, you know, well, wait, Smarties don't have a character like the M&Ms that talks and stuff, right?

What is the Smarties thing? What's their catchphrase? Oh, yeah. Eat the red one last. But that was their slogan 20 years ago. What is their new slogan? Smarties turns white if unattended. Do you know what it is?

No, I was just going to make one up. I didn't actually check, but I feel like the color must have gone on the inside of the package. It must have transferred to the cardboard. Oh, like a real freaky psychedelic tie-dye. Because if you hold them in your hands long enough, the color gets on your skin. Yeah, they melt in your hands. Maybe someone held them and rubbed them in their hands and then put them back in the box. But since I bought them? Yeah. But the box was unopened.

I'm thinking maybe Abby. You should check the color of Abby's hands. She probably glued it back together. Oh, yeah. She does have that glue stiffer thing that comes in handy when she needs to doctor things. You know, that's the weird... If you hold a Smartie in your hand

and then it dyes your hand a color and it's actually kind of hard to get the dye off of your hand, that should be a warning not to eat a thing, right? If it, like, if the dye, like, you wouldn't eat a felt pen, right? Right, guys? I'd sniff one. You ate a felt pen? Yeah. One of the ones that smelled like it was good?

How did it taste? How much of it did you eat? What? How much of it did you eat? Well, not very much. And I couldn't really bite into it because it's felt. So you just sort of put it in your mouth. Yeah.

And then I got in trouble because I took all the felt out of the pens. And they put a sad face on my daycare. They're like, Amanda, sad face. And it was up for a week. Wow. And my aunt had to replace the markers. Yikes. Yeah.

Man, that's embarrassing. And had to replace the markers. Yikes. Yeah. Man, that's embarrassing. I'm just from the streets, so I guess you could say it was badass of me. Yeah, I guess it was kind of badass of you. I was scared, though. I was very scared.

Well, that's like when they used to hang somebody in the town square to show everybody this is what happens when you take the felt out. happens when you take the felt out. I think I maybe stole something from my preschool and I got away with it too. Except that I bragged about it to my mom. Check it out, Mom. We're in this together now. You squeal, we're all going down.

You bond inside with your mom. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's cool. Yeah, that's kind of fun. That's kind of a fun mothered son activity did she high five you after she totally did yeah and then we drove away into the sunset and you got tattoos yeah we got matching tattoos they both said 7-eleven thieves uh spelled with dollar signs i can't remember if i stole anything that young. Probably. I remember

the big thing that I thought was great to take was stuff from the hardware store. Nails, screws, etc. How old were you? Oh, 17, 18. No. Yeah, maybe like 8 or 9. I remember thinking...

What kind of 8-year-old goes to the hardware store? Oh, by myself. Not by yourself? No, no. My dad would take me, and then I would steal some screws, some nails, and then I'd show them to my friends at school, and they were like, pretty good.

Did you fashion one of those carriers made out of a stick and the kerchiefs? A bindle? Is that what they're called? That's what I pictured. And one of those carriers made it of a stick and the kerchiefs. A bindle? Yeah. A bindle, is that what they're called? That's what they're called, yeah.

That's what I pictured. But you as a kid with the beard still? Yeah, I always had a beard. All my pictures will back that up that I've drawn a beard on with a felt. See how I brought that back around? That was good. Pretty good. That's pretty aight.

So yeah, that's about it with me. We recorded a podcast two days ago, so the only thing that's going on is finding old candy. Knowing what's happened in the past two days. How about you, Graham? A couple of things. First and foremost, the other day, I um chatting with past guest alicia tobin at and uh we were talking about who framed roger abbott because i said one of the lines from the

movie yabble yabble something like that yeah and uh she said oh i saw that movie a long time ago when it first came out and i hated it and was like, I think you're not remembering it properly, because it was awesome. It's an awesome movie, right? We all can agree? No? Dave? I hated it when I was a kid, too. Did you really?

Have you seen it since? Nope. Oh, because I... Oh, wait. I saw Cool World after that. Is that the same thing? I assumed there would be nudity there was not brad pitt was uh your generation's bot poskins yeah yeah they were both sexiest man alive if i'm not mistaken

now did you did you enjoy i don't know i don't remember it you've never seen it i've i don't maybe wow so i feel like now uh now I feel like I'm almost on a quest. Yeah, go for it. Because, well, I got a copy of it, and we watched it, and it was amazing. And she rediscovered it, loved it. And this was, like, from 1988. And there's no CG or anything like that. It's all, like, hand-drawn animation over top of film. CG or anything like that. It's all like hand-drawn animation over

top of film. And it's like the cartoons are all carrying around reels, shit, and they shoot real guns. It's super dark. There's like a murder mystery and like sex and all this stuff. And it's like cartoons. Yeah. And she's a super sexy lady

married to a goofy rabbit. Yeah. Yeah. Jessica Rabbit? Jessica Rabbit. Yeah. And then... Not... That's her married name. Yeah. Yeah. That's right. even married to a goofy rabbit yeah yeah and then jessica rabbit yeah and then uh not not that's her uh married yeah yeah that's right her birth name uh they don't jessica hair yeah tortoise but there's like there's yeah there's this whole uh like uh she's cheating on him subplot and uh yeah there's like oh it's like undertones and stuff but it's like donald duck and daffy duck and all this uh wait both donald and daffy are in it yeah there was like uh all the major studios like all brought their characters together so they could all be in

this movie oh wow like a uh so like hannah-Barbera's things are in it. Mortal Kombat versus Street Fighter. Yes! But a movie! And Bob Hoskins! Which wasn't in the Mortal Kombat. The only thing I remember about it is Bob Hoskins orders something on the rocks and they give it to him with actual rocks. Yeah, even when he specifically says to the penguins not to put... He says, I mean with ice. And then when he gets it, it's got rocks in it.

But they're wacky. Yeah, right? They're cartoons. I don't know. And they're he gets it, it's got rocks in it. But they're wacky. Yeah, right? They're cartoons. I don't know. And they're penguins. They're not even supposed to be working. They're animals. But yeah, it's like Betty Boop is in it.

Speaking of things I never cared for. But you never liked Betty Boop? When was I supposed to like Betty Boop? 1940? The answer to your question is yes. That's when you're supposed to like her. 1940. I don't know. Betty Boop? Yes or no?

I don't know. She's got bigger boobs than me so I'm a little... I don't think she was famous for her... She's got a giant head. Yeah and weird giant eyes. Yeah but I don't think her boobs were anything to... Okay if you took her head off and you just looked at her body, she's in a red dress. And then she always has so much cleave.

Yeah, that's true. I don't think of her in a red dress. I think of her in more of a black and white dress from 1940. Is she black and white as well? Yes. You can only see. She's black and white in the Roger Allen. Is she red and white as well? Yes. You can only see. She's black and white in the Roger Rabbit. Is she red all over?

She's a red blob in a red dress. But yeah, I feel like maybe this is a forgotten classic. Because they always play... No, I'm certain our listeners love Who Framed Roger Rabbit. Are you sure? Yeah. Because I would have thought that everybody in this room would have loved it, and yet I'm the only one. I was a very smart kid.

Yeah. How smart? I knew I didn't like it, and I was right. You got away with crimes, and you didn't like Who Framed Roger Rabbit. I don't know. You sound like you were a delinquent kid. No, when I was a kid, I didn't like kids' movies. Yeah, you still don't like them.

No, but even as a kid, I was like, this is for kids. You were too busy selling individual cigarettes in the back alley. Yeah. That's right. That's what my brother did. Selling them for a buck a piece. A buck a piece. Then you'd go buy a dollar piece marbles. It was a horrible financial system.

Your brother would sell them in the back alley one at a time? Yeah, my brother was a huge badass as a kid. Is that right? Yeah. He had a mushroom cut. It was bleached blonde. Bleached it. It was horrendous.

It was so gross. What's he doing now? Time? Yeah, he's doing time hip hop teaching. He's a hip hop teacher. He has an acapella group. Wait, what? he's a hip-hop teacher he has a group wait what he's a hip-hop teacher oh yeah he teaches hip-hop and he has an acapella group okay what he teaches hip-hop dance dance okay that's or vocals okay sorry i should he doesn't teach people to rap No, he's a dancer Okay, that makes a lot more sense

But his acapella group is The acapella fellas No Yes Wouldn't it be easier to just call themselves The acapellas I think that was taken That was registered with the acapella union

Yeah Can we be called the acapellas? No, that's taken too. There's like seven groups called aca-something fellas. Yeah. Well, the acapella fellas isn't bad. Right? What do they do?

Like barbershop music? They do covers mostly of my brother's song. He does Breakfast at Tiffany's. It's smooth. You guys should look it up. Like, good times. My brother.

Is he embarrassed about this? No. He should be. No, my brother's so, I get along so well with my brother. Well, not for long. Not after he hears this. No, like when I tell people,

I'm like, he's in an acapella group. I just try to mumble it. But it's kind of great. He's playing me cute in Hall. Oh, wow. Nice call. Good gig. Yeah, good gig.

Yeah. What's one of the more embarrassing things someone can do? Oh, like acapella? I think so, yeah. Like, ever since that movie with Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston, where she had the acapella brother. That's how everyone sees it. But he's not like that.

He's not a stupid idiot. He's a nice guy. Just living his acapella dreams. I mean, we have a podcast. That's kind of embarrassing. Oh, totally.

But I always wonder, like, because Gian Gomeschi, he was in an acapella group, right? Oh, yeah. So, like, next time somebody says, what does your brother do? You can go, you know, Gian Gomeschi? And they'll go, yeah, same thing he does. He does that. Yeah. More or less.

Because Moxie Fervis, they were Canada's premier acapella. Don't tell him that, though. Don't tell him that it was embarrassing. He takes it very seriously. Yeah. To this day. Yeah. I interviewed him about it once.

My brother likes Moxie Fruvis. Oh, does he? Yeah. Does he consider Moxie Fruvis and Rockapella amongst... Yeah. I think if you were to look on his ipod those would be most listened to really rockefella has things on people's ipods that have more than one play that you don't even know didn't they do a maxwell house commercial

rockefella i'm pretty sure they did they may have where it was like they capitalized on the uh coffee drinking 10 year old market it was a really weird tie-in but i remember there was the you know they drink a cup of coffee and then they're really good at acapella sounds like Lion King stuff That was a great movie The Lion King? Yeah Oh hells yeah But wait a minute

You've seen The Lion King But you haven't seen Who's Framing Roger Rabbit? Yeah What do you mean? How can you compare the two? They're both Disney films They're both cartoons

They're both from around The same era No no I think Ten times as many people Saw The Lion King The Lion King doesn't have guns Oh yeah But it's got Scar Which is way scarier Oh, no. I think ten times as many people saw The Lion King. And Lion King doesn't have guns.

Oh, yeah, but it's got scar, which is way scarier than any gun. Which would you rather have pointed at you, a gun or scar? Who's pointing the gun? Weird Christopher Lloyd? No, like a penguin. Oh, okay. Fun. Who is pointing scar at me? Is scar pointing himself at me? No, no, no. Or is someone holding him? Yeah, the octopus lady from Little Mermaid is pointing Scar at me. Is Scar pointing himself at me? No, no, no. Or is someone holding him? Yeah, the octopus lady from Little Mermaid is pointing Scar at you.

She's scary. That's like double scare tactics. Yeah, yeah. So now which would you rather want? Maybe the car... Wait, third entry. Carmen Sandiego is holding the bassy guy. The one.

Where in the world is she? She's in rehab. Do you want to move on to Overheard? Yes. Yay. Overheard. Overheard. Hi, Overheard.

Hi. Hi, Overheard. You're a segment that we play on the show a lot, and I'm glad that you've come back another time. Would you say we play this segment? Yeah, it's like a game, andhearts. You're a segment that we play on the show a lot, and I'm glad that you've come back another time. Would you say we play this segment? Yeah, it's like a game, and everybody wins. Like love. Yeah.

Love is a game. Well, no, love is a battlefield. Okay. And hate makes wait. And haste makes waste. Have you never heard that phrase before? Can we start the segment again? Nope. We gotta keep it

raw. Now you've heard this. You've heard the show. You know that raw is war in the same way that love is a battlefield. What is war good for? Nothing. Correct. Absolutely nothing. Say it again. War. Amanda? Have you heard the show before

yeah but I didn't start downloading podcasts until like two weeks ago you mean in general yeah because I had but you had an iPod touch I know but I was so used to having my iPod nano which couldn't put podcasts on

and I completely forgot that i can now download podcasts so i started downloading wtf and i got your show and uh like hold your applause and stuff like that yeah yeah cgsw am i right i don't know why you made that face. You've been on that show. Yeah, like eight times. Yeah. Ugh, I know. I'm a celebrity.

I get it. So embarrassing. Have you ever met Buckshot? Do you know who Buckshot is? Yeah, I know Buckshot. Yeah. I don't. He was a Calgary kids show host.

Oh. Yeah. What kind of kids show? He was a cowboy. Oh. What kind of kids show? He was a cowboy and he had a stuffed bear named Benny that was his co-host. And Corn on the Cob

I think or something was also another guy that would stop by and he would interview kids in the audience. Hey, what do you like to do? Who's Bishop Grandin? He'd say and the kid would go, I don't know. I know who Temple like to do? Who's Bishop Grandin, he'd say. And the kid would go, I don't know. I know who Temple Grandin is.

He was like Calgary's Bill Cosby. I've never heard that description. Anyone who comes up with an idea for a kid's show starts with, hey, kids are dumb. The legend goes that he was goofing around in front of a camera and they decided to give him his own show. This was in the age of TV where anybody who was brave enough to stand in front of a camera would get a show. Right.

On account of their souls being stolen. Exactly. Isn't that what happened to Robin Williams? He was a mime. I know that. Really? He was a mime? Yeah.

He went to school for a mime. He kept his mouth shut that much. Enough to was a mime? Yeah he went to school He kept his mouth shut That much Enough to be a mime Two people who were Previously mimes Robin Williams Oh let me guess the other one Okay

Harry Connick Jr. No no no Robert Downey Jr. No Not an actor Martin Downey Jr. Morgan Freeman Jr.

No Canadian fashion icon Jeannie Becker okay started out as a i don't know why oh gross just cuz just cuz yeah uh he's the calgarian bill cosby i don't know on what basis just say darndest things, kids. Like he... I guess he wasn't black. Sometimes people will criticize this show for being too Canadian.

And I don't get it. But on this episode, I absolutely get it. Am I bringing the Canadian flavor? Yes. Or maple syrup. Or flavor, as we call it in Canada. Am I bringing the Canadian flavor? Yes. Yeah. Or maple syrup. Yeah. Or flavor, as we call it in Canada. Now, so you've heard the show.

You know the segment overheard. Yes. We like to start with the guest. Okay. Are you up to the challenge? Yeah. Awesome. I have a question. Okay.

Is there like a time limit on overheard? Yeah. And the clock starts now. No, like I mean, I heard something the last time I was in Vancouver, which was like three years ago. Oh, yeah, yeah, that's fine. You can draw from your whole life. Yeah, I literally thought you meant like how long can these years be. No, oh, God.

It started when I was born in 1987. But just so you know, the clock starts now. Okay, last time I was in Vancouver. I'm not going to tell you. No, last time I was in Vancouver. I'm not going to tell you. No, last time I was in Vancouver, I was at the Yuck Yucks waiting in the lobby or something. And there were two girls. And one girl said, hey, did you hear that Bernie Mac died? And then her friend said, who's Bernie Mac?

I don't know him. And then the girl said, oh, you know, he had the Bernie Mac show. And then the girl goes, oh, you know, he had the Bernie Mac show. And then the girl goes, oh, yeah. Like the self-titled show luckily cleared the air on who Bernie Mac was. So she was just short of saying show after his name would have cleared off everything. Yeah. Did you hear that Bernie Mac show died? Have you heard of that entertainer Cedric?

Who? Cedric the Entertainer? Yes. That's probably my favorite thing about Cedric the Entertainer is that he is stuck with that ridiculous name that he made up for himself. Like even The Rock dropped The Rock after a while, right? Like it didn't just stay The Rock because that's ridiculous. But now it's Dwayne The Rock dropped The Rock after a while, right? Like, it didn't just stay The Rock. Because that's ridiculous, right?

But now it's Dwayne The Rock Johnson. Did they still call him that? Now it's just Dwayne Johnson. Now it's just Dwayne Johnson. Because he's an actor in The Tooth Fairy. They can't... Cedric the Entertainer can't lose the nickname because his real name is Dwayne Johnson.

Oh, okay. Dwayne The Rock Johnson. Dwayne Cedric The Entertainer Johnson. Dwayne The Entertainer Johnson. There'swayne Cedric the Entertainer Johnson Dwayne the Entertainer Johnson There's just a Cedric in there What was the movie That was Ice Cube that was in Are We There Yet What do you mean

Are you going to go through something racist Are you going to get black people confused No Ice Cube and Cedric the Entertainer Were both in movies where they drove a family across the country, right? Sure. One of them was called Are We There Yet? And what was the one Cedric the Entertainer was in?

Why Did I Get Married Too? Oh, no, that's a different one. No, I'm just joking. Was there a sequel to Why Did I Get Married? Yeah, too. Oh. And it's spelled T-O-O, which I don't understand because I haven't seen the film. Why Did I Get Married Also? Is it seen the film. Why did I get married also?

Is it a different character? Why did I too get married? I also got married. Why? Why did I get married too, and then in tiny little brackets, this man? So it just sounds good, but then... It's a different spelling of too, though. Yeah, I know.

I'm just saying it sounds good. It doesn't read well. It reads horribly. What was it called? Look Who's Married to... No, that's Look Who's Talking. Why did I Big Mama's House 2? I won't participate in this. Well, you're participating in it. You're an accessory

to slightly racist... Racial confusion? Dave, do you have an overheard that involves Medea? medea well no this is actually a racial one oh yes yay uh and there's a slur in it oh okay so get it's the chinese one okay um i was watching the local news and uh this is a uh This is already uncomfortable. You're shifting in your seat and covering your eyes. I feel like I talk about the news a lot,

just because, not things that happen in the news, but just how bad the local news is. Yeah. And how, oh, they have segments where they show viral videos now. I mean, you're grasping at straws, news. Anyway, so there was some racist graffiti in Richmond, B.C. Oh, was it on somebody's garage? No, I think it was on a school.

Okay. And it was the top story. Someone scraped in a swastika, which is not cool at all. But they also did a couple of racial slurs. And they were so childish. And I just thought it was hilarious that this was the top story. That someone wrote, black is whack. Chinks suck dinks.

So they were looking for a 12-year-old. And then they ended up with, white is right. Oh my god. Why was that a news story at all? The top news story. Was this CTV news? And someone had to say that seriously. No, global, global.

The news reporter had to say it. Well, they didn't repeat the lines They just showed a shot of it And it was hilarious It would be funny if they Blurred out I think they may have Blurred out the F word on one of them

There was a lot of little It was like They were spitballing ideas And they didn't have a whiteboard They're like little... They were spitballing ideas. They didn't have a whiteboard. They're like, okay guys, no slurs are bad. There's no such thing as a bad idea, guys. Say what comes to mind.

At my old high school, someone graffitied Shrek 2. And I thought it was the most incredible artwork ever. Wait, just the words Shrek 2 and I thought it was the most incredible artwork ever wait, just the words Shrek 2? why did I get married to Shrek 2?

oh man now Graham, do you have one? I do it comes courtesy of the Bay. In Canada, we have a... Are you guys sponsored by the Bay? Yes. We might as well.

And I was in a change room trying on a pair of pants. And how did that work out for you? A little bit too tight. Oh, no. But the ladies in the change room next to me, it was a mother and daughter combo. Unisex change room. It's just a free-for-all at the Bay. You just go whatever.

You just leave your stuff all over the floor. Nobody gives a shit. It was like all these pins stuck in the wall. You know, like pins from shirts. People just stick them in the wall. It doesn't matter. That's disrespectful. Nobody comes in and removes them uh and the mother and daughter were talking and the daughter was really trying

to convince the mother to wear something and the mother was not buying it at all and she was like no no i don't like it i don't like it and uh the daughter's like no at least you got at least look at it in the mirror and she's like no no i don't like it i feel like this makes me look like a german um there's a worry so she felt really good is what you're saying yeah she felt really uh uh nihilistic i don't know wait what what would you feel like what is a german dress in later hosen later hosen or i see a lot of like uh uh black turtlenecks i feel like yeah i feel a lot of um german middle-aged women on like on vacation in vancouver yeah and they all have uh like dyed red hair and a weird red color that no human has. I kind of like that.

Maybe that's what she was trying on. A wig. Yeah. A bright red wig. Have you guys ever been to a place and tried on wigs? No. That's a lot of fun. What? Like a costume shop? Oh no, I went to a wig store in London, Ontario

and tried on a bunch of wigs. And it was great. Are there wig stores in a big town like this? Yeah, probably. Yeah, they have the little kiosks. Oh, man. Kiosks. Kiosks.

They have kiosks and malls where you can just have wigs hanging and you can go in. But then all the mall walkers walk by you while they count theirs. So you put on a little show, and you and your mom are a hit. Yeah. You put another wig down, and people can put money in it. Would it be fun to run up to a wig kiosk and be all out of breath and say, like, just give me a wig like like you were running away from somebody and then you just like wait until somebody passes and then you're like thanks and

then you just throw the wig back and then run and if you're in like scooby-doo i think that would be appropriate come on gang i think if you're in a mall and like uh the the new ipad is coming out and people are lined up for the new iPad or whatever the new thing coming out is, I think a funny thing to do would go to the nearest kiosk, be it a wig place, cheap sunglasses place, and just wait

at it. Like you're waiting for the new wigs. You guys here for the iPads? I'm here for the new redhead. Or what if you went to the wig place, asked to borrow a wig for five minutes, and then butted in front of somebody in line while wearing the wig? And then they're like, hey, you weren't here. And you're like, no, that's somebody else you're thinking of.

I'm with somebody different. I have different hair. That's the worst strategy. No, but they get so confused that they're like, was there somebody with a wig standing in front of them? Would you let it be known that they're like, was there somebody with a wig standing in front of them? Would you let it be known that you're wearing a wig? Yeah.

Would you take it off? It's still got the price tag hanging off of it. No, yeah, you should go in front of them and they say, oh, you weren't here before. And then you take the wig off. Or was I? See? I just planted the seeds of the plan. You perfected it. You should go up to a kiosk, Graham, and say, do you make beards?

Do you make a wig for my face? Do you make wig beards? And then detach yours, because we all know it's fake. And then say, would you like to sell wig beards? Are you wigged out? Oh, God, you guys, the magic keeps happening.

When? That was a Shumka burn. Yeah. Sorry. They hurt the most. They're like being burnt and then having salt

rubbed into that burn. That would be the worst, eh? Being burnt and having salt put on it? Yeah. That clumsy thing you said is my tagline.

Yeah. Master of wigs. Dave Shumka. Master of wig cons. Speaking of wig cons, are you guys going to wig cons? What are you going to wear? I'm going to dress as Chewbacca He's one giant wig

Cousin it's good Or like an old British wig With an H Snooki Snooki? Oh yeah Snooki's probably a really popular wig In novelty wigs Or Kate Gosselin

Or Gaga Oh lots of Gaga wigs She's practically keeping the wig business In business Afloat Wigs don't float. I guess real hair wigs would. Yeah, and you would build a wig.

That's how you test a quality wig. Does it float? Yeah. If your wig drowns. Yeah, if the wig sinks, do not buy it. It's a witch. If it floats, it's a witch.

And then you whip it against the wall, and if it sticks, it's ready. Yeah, it's ready for you to wear. This wig is al dente. And we also have listeners who have sent in overheards via the power of electronic mail. If you want to be one of these

lucky people, you can send it to stoppodcastingyourself at gmail.com. This first one comes from Sean H. At a bar eating lunch. Maybe a bit of a problem there, right? Liquid lunch? Two 50-ish bros giving each other shit about being out of shape. Bro one. Keep that up and you'll be walking home.

You could use the exercise. Bro 2. Hey, I jumped rope this morning. Bro 1. Quietly. Into his beer. That's the most retarded thing I've ever heard. That guy's probably not heard a lot of retarded things.

That's probably the case with him, right? That's an offensive word. You're right. Jump rope. Yeah, it's just called rope. Yeah, I like the fact that it was two 50-year-old bros. Yeah, right? 50-year-old bros before 50-year-old hoes.

Sure. This next one comes from Christopher S. Christopher S. says, These are things my friend overheard in a frat house. Another bro fact. Yeah. Oh, man. Can I make it three?

I don't know if I can. I don't care what you have to say. I'm the social chair, and you are making the cheese sandwiches. And the social chair has the power to command that. What are the ranks in a frat? There's social chair, we know that. Yeah. President.

Bro number one. Yeah. Legally blonde. Sure. Elwoods. Booger. Yep. Van Wilder.

Van Wilder. Oh. Van Wildest. Taj. Taj. Sure. And who else? The thing about Van Wildest. Nerdlinger. Were you

here the other night? No, you weren't when we watched Van Wilder. Oh, God, no. Why didn't you call me? The thing about Van Wilder is he's not in a frat. He's anti-frat. He's against the dudes in the frat. What? But that is the frattiest movie. He's against the guys

in the frat? Yeah. I thought that he was like the frat. What? But that is the frattiest movie. He's against the guys in the frat? Yeah. I thought that he was like the frat master. I'm sure frat dudes love Van Wilder. Yeah. But he just stayed in school. He has a dorm room. He has the coolest dorm room. Oh, really? Does it have a fireman's pole? Uh, yep.

Did it really? No. Because that would have made it the coolest. Ryan Reynolds is beautiful. He's an attractive man. He is. Is he really? no Ryan Reynolds is beautiful he's an attractive man is he really? yes Dave went to the same high school that he went to

no you didn't was he like a babe magnet back then? I don't believe so but I don't know yeah I think he was. Judging by his high school photo. He was probably... Do you have the yearbook in which Ryan Reynolds' picture

exists? Yeah. He's shirtless in it too, which is weird for a grad photo. Well, no. The weird thing was he was wearing the Green Lantern ring. Even back then they knew. That's so weird. He knew. He was with another guy and a girl on a pizza that's

he's my dream guy really well i can probably set that up for you really no dude i never met the man here's the thing why do you go around crushing people's dreams well i build you up to break you down like a buttercup or whatever. Yep. Just like a waving flag. Canine? Was that a canine? Could only be canine. So fucking Canadian. I apologize. Cardinal official. Let's just name Canadian rappers.

The Rascals. The Tragically Hip. They are not a rapper It's actually the 25th anniversary of Canadian hip hop Oh really? Should we lay down the track right now? I wish we had a rap Only we could learn hip hop from your brother

The dance Hip hop dance He could dance while we Now not a lot of rappers dance Puff Daddy Puff Daddy Puff Daddy I don't think he goes by Puff anymore Diddy

Dirty Money Old Dirty Money Now Wait a minute Don't a lot of rapper guys dance? No they're Fly Girls Thank you for clearing that up. Jamie Foxx.

He dances. Yeah. Is he a rapper? No, he's more of an R&B dancer. He blames it on the alcohol. Yeah, he has rapped in the past. Eminem doesn't dance. Yeah, he does.

He does a little loose-off shoes. Eminem doesn't dance. Yeah, he does. He does a little loose-off shoes. And this final one comes from Jessa M. Jessa. I like that name. Jessa.

Here's an overheard for you. I was just watching TV and saw a teaser ad for the news where they said, they are sold as bath salts, but teenagers are using them to get high. Now that's the kind of news reporting I like to see. How do you think that you get high from a bath salt? I imagine you smoke it, like a drug. What if the teenagers were just getting high by using a lot of them

and having a really relaxing bath? Like, it's so relaxing. It's like, you're high. When's the last time you took a bath? Oh, maybe six months ago. Because my back really hurt. Two weeks ago. Oh, I think it's different for girls.

Why is it different? Everyone should indulge a little bit every once in a while. Is it an indulgence or disgusting? It's a little disgusting. Wait, do you guys light candles? Yeah. Why is it disgusting? You're in warm water. Because I pee in it right away.

It's like when you put your hand in warm water except with my whole body. Well, you gotta laminate a magazine. You gotta... You gotta find a floating ashtray for your giant cigar. Can you put an iPad in a giant Ziploc bag? Yes And then just have it like that? Just have it float

Oh no, and bring it in the water? Absolutely not You also have to laminate the iPad Oh, okay Did I ever tell you about Or maybe Erica Sigurdsson told us about it when she was on the show When she We were working at that TV station tell you about uh or maybe erica sigurdson told us about it when she was on the show when she we were working at that tv station and she found the uh it was like an ipod thing that you're supposed to wear if you want to like listen to your ipod in the uh pool while you're swimming

and it was in this like there was this box of promo stuff that people would drop off at the tv station and she took it without without reading the instructions or anything. And put her iPod in and it went swimming. And it filled up with water right away. Oh no. I don't know why that's so funny. Because you like to crush dreams. I like to crush electronics.

But I think taking a bath always seems like a good idea going in. And then you're like, well, I'm stuck here. Now what? Yeah. Even if you have oils and... What else for your bath? Well, like Abby

used to get like bath oils and salts and stuff like that and you like just in like gift baskets

from Sure from people There are no gift baskets without bath crap Yeah They don't exist Have you ever got a gift basket

without? No, I've never got a gift basket You've never got a gift basket. You've never got a gift basket? Oh, we're going to remedy that. Get my basket. Go to the gift basket closet. Yeah, get the emergency gift basket.

Yeah, so put all that stuff in there and you sit and you wait. You wait for Bloody Mary to show up. Have I done enough bathing? I'm clean. If you want to learn how to relax, because I did that too, I would sit down and be like, this isn't relaxing at all.

I'm thinking about all the stuff I have to get done, but I'm sitting in water right now. You should do all your water-based stuff that you need to do. Write your diary and your bathtub. Wash your socks. Write your diary in your bag of cups. Wash your socks. Write your water journal.

It's like a dream journal. Pretty wet today. Day one. My water journal. So pruney. Ice cubes. That's not a bad idea. Nope, lost it. Yeah, I cubes. Mmm. That's not a bad idea. Nope. Lost it.

Yeah. I don't know. I only ever take a bath if I'm very sick or I feel bad. Isn't it kind of... It's fun to do that thing where you go under the water and then you look up at the roof and... And you commit suicide when you do that. It's very cinematic. Yeah. It's very cinematic yeah it's very cinematic right

the water gets all red yeah somebody suddenly appears over top of you in the house yeah I don't know I don't know girls like taking baths I think that that's a fair I wouldn't take a bath alone

in the house though because I would be scared. A murderer. Always bathing with a partner. There has to be someone who could grab a butcher knife and stab the other murderer. Wait, a murderer? You live with a murderer? No, no, no. She has to, otherwise

the murderer's going to murder them both. It's like rock, paper, scissors. Murderer beats murderer. It's like rock, paper, scissors. Murderer beats murderer. It's like two negatives making a positive in a mathematical equation. Two murderers make a one life. I've seen horror movies and learned from them. What have you learned?

Obviously not to take baths. Never take baths alone in the house. Because you could slip and fall. No, you should be totally alone in the house. Because if you're and fall. No, you should be totally alone in the house. Because if you're not, that means that somebody else is there trying to kill you. No, but then every noise you hear, you're like, was that a murderer? No, I just shifted my foot in the bathtub. Exactly.

But yeah, oh, that's the murderer saying that? No, I just shifted your foot. Okay. Okay. That was the murderer doing a fart noise. No, you just shifted your foot. Okay. Unless you want to commit suicide, though. Blah, blah, blah, blah. So what else did you learn from horror movies? Oh, that's it.

So you've seen one horror movie. Oh, never run upstairs. Oh, yeah, run out of the house. Yeah, why do they always do that? Don't go in there. Panicky idiots. So don't run upstairs. Unless you have a trampoline in your backyard

that you can jump out of your room to. Yeah. So it's like you're screaming in panic, and then when you jump on the trampoline, it's like, ah, wee! It changes midway. And if there's already people jumping on them, they double bounce you.

You go super high. It's like a horror movie and then turns into an adventure movie once you're on the trampoline. Just like that movie, Jingle All The Way. It had all those elements. Arnold Schwarzenegger's

in every horror adventure I've seen. Now, in addition to overheards that have been written, we also have overheards that have been called in using the magical phone number 206-339-8328. Hey, stop podcasting yourself. This is Mark in New York calling with an overheard. I am at the moment out at a bar. I'm the TV tonight, so I'm doing things like calling podcasts.

I'm just sitting there, kind of watching, listening to people, seeing what's going on. And all of a sudden, from the other end of the bar, it's like magic. I heard, well, that's really for lesbians. They need it more. Baths. Oh, what does that mean, they're really for lesbians? I don't know what he was talking about, that's really for lesbians.

That they need more. Equal rights. Right? Happy International Women's Day, you guys. Oh, yeah. We are recording this on International Women's Day. Yeah. How did you celebrate your International Women's Day?

Woman? I bought a purse. No. No. I bought a purse and I ate opah. Opah. Greek food. Yeah.

Opah. And then you smashed a plate. I smashed a plate. Andpa. Greek food. Yeah. Opa. And then you smashed a plate. I smashed a plate. And then you owed for that plate. They're like, we're not that kind of Opa. And then I wrote a letter saying how much I wish I was a dude. No. No, you guys.

Who would you write that letter to? My mom. The Prime Minister. The Prime Minister. Dear Stephen Harper. Yeah. So Canadian. Oh, my God. Dave hates Harper. So Canadian. Oh my god. Dave hates it. I apologize.

If you wish you were a dude, I wish I was not a Canadian. No, I'm glad to be a woman. We got a lot of cool stuff. Man, I feel like a woman. Yeah, you got bats. We got bats. You got horror movie knowledge. You got Drew Barry knowledge. You got...

Drew Barrymore is one of you. You've got roller derby. That's a woman. Men can't do that. No. Tramp stamps? Yeah, tramp stamps. That's something to be proud of.

I mean, a guy can't get a tramp stamp and not get made fun of. What would it be called if a dude got the tramp stamp? The vamp stamp. Idiot. Idiot. If they were a gay camp, like a campy. If they were campy gay or a vampire, then it could be a vamp stamp. If they lit up when someone turned them on, it would be a lamp stamp.

But especially the bump part above their butt. Oh, what if they were a homeless guy that traveled? Oh, no, wait, that would be a tramp stamp. Alright, next over. Hello, Dave, Graham, and either Kaz Van Raffel, R.C. Michael,

or Eric Vigardson. This is Alistair calling from St. Petersburg, Florida.C. Michael, or Eric Vigertsen. Wow. Nope. This is Alistair calling from St. Petersburg, Florida. I was just in the break room on my break, coincidentally, and a lady was, I think, watching the TV program Las Vegas and said to a guy who was in the break room, Oh, isn't that nice to see the water falling down the side of the building? I've never seen that. And the guy said back to her,

Have you ever seen MC Hammer's house? Well, obviously she hadn't. That's weird that they were watching Las Vegas. That show isn't on anymore, is it? Was that the one with the singing? No. Where they were breaking a song sometimes? No, James... Yes, Josh Duhamel on it? Yes.

Yeah, and James Caan. Jimmy Caan. Yeah, he was the... You're thinking of Scott Caan. By Las Vegas, you mean Hawaii. That's his son, right? Yeah. Photographer Scott Caan.

He's a photographer? He's published a book of photographs. Of himself? Of garbage. garbage oh like just uh like a uh instamatic camera that he had he just took some shots uh no it's a uh it's like a real book oh man i was he's one of those guys i just don't like it's got con yeah um now wait a minute okay mc hammer house. This guy called from work. I like to picture that he called from the work phone.

So I like that. And I also like that he tried to predict who the guest was. Any three of those could have been the guest. He would have known. There's no way he would have known that it was a man. No, no, no. I don't even know. Yeah.

It's like I hate you so much sometimes, you know? And we just met. We're so good together. Yeah, we're like Richard Lewis and Jamie Lee Curtis in that show they were in, Anything But Love. I don't know what that

is. We're like the days and nights of Molly Dodd. What? What is that? These are shows my mom would watch in 1989. Days and nights of molly dodd what is that these are shows my mom would watch in 1989 days and nights of molly dodd oh man that show was begging to get canceled with the title like that oh boy okay he was watching las vegas someone was watching las vegas which i what was the one with the singing where people, that episode of Buffy the Vampire. Cop Rock.

Dr. Horrible's sing-along song. Las Vegas was a show with Josh Duhamel for a long time. I met him. Oh, yeah? What? I've been to Los Angeles. I've never met met him. Oh, yeah? What? Yeah. This doesn't... I've been to Los Angeles. I never met anybody famous.

He was taking classes at UCB. No. I swear to God. And he was in... He's good looking. He doesn't have to be funny. I know. Doesn't he know that about himself?

And I talked to him, and I had no self-confidence, and I asked if Fergie sings him show tunes when he goes to... Why would you say that? That's offensive. Because I don't know how to function. Are they married? I thought we established that. Are they... So, are they married? It's offensive. Because I don't know how to function. Are they married? I thought we established that.

So are they married? Yeah. Okay, and that's a terrible thing to ask someone. I know. It doesn't even make sense. You don't think I was thinking about this a week after? Why show tunes? Why not Wild Orchid songs?

Because I wanted to stand out in his mind. Well, you don't know that you didn't. That's true. Because I saw him the first day and I was like, oh, that's that Josh dude. I didn't know how to say his last name. And then that's how I started the conversation. How do you say your last name?

I'm the worst human being. And he said, Winaday with Tad Hamilton. Yeah, he said Hamilton. That's how he said it. How do you say your first name? Tad. Tad. What a terrible movie.

Yeah, it was the days of nights of Molly Jones. Is that how you started that coverage? It was a very nice follow-up. Are you from Tad Hamilton? Yes. That movie's terrible. Now, second question. Your singer wife.

Yeah. Does Will.i.am's singer lady sing you show tunes? Does your wife, Will.i.am. Oh, man. Does your wife, Craig Ferguson. Nope, don't get it. Did I?

Why would he be married to Craig Ferguson? Oh, Stacey Ferguson. Fergie. There it is. There it is. I guess I just crushed,

I don't know, I tried to, every time I try to burn Dave, it doesn't, why we're friends no we're not because you hate me oh god is this one of these again that reminds me that meeting josh duhamel reminds me of my friend who met jessica alba and she was with her kids and there was like a paparazzi photographing her and he wanted wanted to say, what he wanted to say to her was,

I don't envy you, but what he said was, I don't admire you. Both would work. I laughed when you said, I don't envy you, because you emphasized the word envy, and for a second I was like,

oh, she used to be in that show, Envy. Then I was like, there was no such thing. She was in the days and nights of Molly Envy. You're a real dark angel here, aren't you? Oh, man. Is there any other calls? Yes.

Are there any other calls? There is one more. Other calls and I. Hi, this is Anna in Brooklyn, and I just heard a girl on her cell phone. She was sitting on a porch, wearing a faux fur coat.

All I heard of her conversation was, I just really feel like, I just feel like, not like a catch-22, but like a catch-22, but like a catch-million. So much worse. Yeah, like I'm a higher ranking of catch.

Degrees of catch. She was talking about how much of a catch she was. Like that movie, Summer Catch. Did that star Jessica Alba? Beale. Ah, damn Catch. Did that star Jessica Alba? Beale. Ah, damn it. One Jessica over. Yeah, Beale and Prins Jr., I think.

Every Jessica, take one step to the left. Who's the most powerful of the Jessicas? Pop quiz. Who's the most powerful Jessica? It's not Simpson. It is Simpson. She's like a billionaire. Power doesn't equal money, because first you get the money. Yeah, so Simpson. It is Simpson. She's like a billionaire. Power doesn't equal money

because first you get the money. Yeah, so she's got the money. Then she's got the power and she already is a woman so she doesn't need the women. Which brings us back around to what the lesbians need. The power. Yeah.

To get the money to get the women. That's what they were talking about. Mystery solved, Scooby Squad. Is that what they were called? The Scooby Gang. It was the Scooby Gang. They weren't a gang. They were like a... Why would the gang name themselves after their dumb dog?

Because he's the funny one. What about a gang called the Pit Bulls? Like if there was a dog they named it after their dog that was a pit bull. Well, I guess Scooby's not a breed of dog. Well, I don't know that he's not a breed of dog. He's a Great Dane. He's a Great Dane? Yeah. How do you guys know that?

He's so large, and he's a Great Dane. Was Marmaduke a Great Dane? Was Marmaduke a Great Dane? I think so. Wait a minute. So you're telling me on this podcast, Scooby-Doo and Marmaduke are the same dog Yeah, and if they had a kid it would be a pure breed So, because Scooby-Doo's a girl dog?

No, Marmaduke's a girl dog They're both girls That's what the lesbian dogs need Nature always finds a way Yep, clever girl Yes, we did it, we really did it. What were Scooby snacks? Were they just dog biscuits? Am I right?

No, but Scratchy would eat them too. Scratchy? His owner Scratchy is Shaggy. Scampy. Shaggy. Tigger. Yeah. Scampy, Tigger, Scratchy,

and Scampy. Scampi, Tigger, Scratchy, and Scampi. Scampi. It all go. Scampi ate shrimp, I think. But wait, so if, because Marmaduke, Scooby can talk and walk like a human. And Marmaduke was an idiot. Shut up. Shut up.

Stop it. No. I don't. Just great Danes in real life can't talk Wait a minute I feel like I'm losing my grip On all of this stuff If you're somebody who wants to call in an overheard

And if you know anything more about this Great Dane situation Wait were Heathcliff and Garfield the same type of cat? I don't think Heathcliff was a thing Heathcliff was a thing Was Heathcliff was a thing. Was it animated or a comic strip? It was both. But it was a ripoff of Garfield.

I don't know which came first. I have a feeling that Heathcliff came first because it was more like depression era humor. Okay. Like he would eat the skeleton of the fish, etc. Cats are so sad all the time. Garfield hated Mondays. He loved lasagna, though. Yeah the time. Garfield hated Mondays. He loved lasagna, though. Yeah. Why did

Garfield hate Mondays? Doesn't everyone hate Mondays? But not cats. What do cats care? He has to write in his cat journal. You go to a lot of journal-y places, don't you? I'm a woman. That's what we have. We have journals and diaries and feelings. And feelings.

Not me. I'm a jerk. Yeah. Vroom, vroom. Monster truck. Oh, and the monsters come in trucks. And monster trucks. So you can call us at 206-339-8328

or write us at StopPodcastingYourself at gmail.com This is our first episode after the MaxFunDrive and we just want to thank all of you for all the donations you donated. They're fantastic. We're recording this before the end of the

MaxFunDrive, but we trust that you guys came through big time. And, yeah, thank you very much everybody who donated. Now, Amanda, if people want to find out more about you, they want to learn about you, where do they go online? My online journal?

No, I don't have an online. You can find me on Twitter, Randy Rear, which is a terrible name. Okay. It sounds like something Scooby-Doo would do, how he would say Andy Ear. I hate you. And then add me on Facebook. And then you can go to my website, which is just my gigantic face, which looks like my business card.

So if you want to see what my my dave coulier experience looks like you can go to amandabrookparren.com what is randy rear um i have two tattoos and they say one says randy which is it which means horny in british speak and then um which but and rear means laugh in french but it's like oh i can't even, it's like, I don't even know why I got it, you guys. I'm like, oh, I'm from Canada. Bilingual. Bilingual. I was about to say multicultural.

So what, did you get like one on each bicep or something like that? No, one's on my neck and one's on my back. No, no T in bicep. No, I'm talking about the things that you cut open a bicep with. Oh, the biceps. Yeah. Dave, do you have anything you need to plug? I will be hosting, I will be filling in on the very early morning show on CBC Radio 3 this week.

And that is cbcradio3.com and it'll be from 7 to 10 Eastern, 4 to 7 Pacific. Cool. And I have nothing to plug, so welcome to The End of the Show.

But thanks everybody for listening. Thank you again for being our guest. Thank you for having me. And like Dave said, thank you very much for donating. If you like the show, please tell your friends and come on back next week. Oh, also, sorry, before I end it off, go to MaximumFun.org and check out the recap blogs that Dave does every week. What will we have? Probably a picture from Who Framed Roger Rabbit.

Yeah, Heathcliff maybe please put up a picture of Heathcliff and a side by side picture of Scooby Doo and Marmaduke for comparison and a picture of a great day thanks for giving me more work so go to MaximumFun.org click on the Stop Podcasting Yourself link

and that will bring you to the blog. And if you like the show, tell your friends and come on back next week for another chicken duck episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself.