Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 159 - Nicole Passmore

Episode Date: March 28, 2011

Improviser Nicole Passmore returns to talk tattoos, chest hair, and ice cream.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 159 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who will, he can work tucked, he can work untucked, he can do it all. Mr. Dave Shumka. I'm like the killer Buffalo Bill from Silence of the Lambs.

Yeah. Tucked or untucked. Tucked or untucked. I would date me. You would date you. I would date me? Isn't that, well, I'm cleaning it up. Yeah, you're doing the television version.

Yeah. The Battlestar Galactica, I would frack me. I don't watch that show. But you are still an Edward James Olmos fan, right? Olmos fan, right? Olmos. And our guest this week, a returning guest, one of our favorites, and I know, I don't know why you laugh. A very funny lady, an improviser, an animal lover the world over, Miss Nicole Passmore. Hello.

I don't get it. i don't get it i don't get it like she has um a patented way of saying hello like yeah full for applause yeah exactly do your patented hello that you always do hello gotta keep it consistent. That's what the fans ask for. Should we get to know us? Oh, please. Get to know us. Nicole, how are things? Things are good. Tell me about your life.

Yeah. Let's get to know you. What's going on with you recently? Okay, well. Let the world in and let it out yeah you want me to be like really deep yeah oh sure yeah let's get juicy well uh i'm wearing my juicy couture yeah i i may have grimaced at this statement earlier but um apparently i'm single and ready for that scene. Ready to mingle. Ready to mingle.

Don't get shingles. I'm not. I'm not ready to mingle. Eat Pringles. Okay. Yeah, I don't know. I'm bilingual. You waited so long.

Wow. Yeah. You waited so long Wow We were discussing before the podcast How your version of things Is that the single life Is the worst Well no The single life is okay Dating is the worst

Like going on dates What do people do on dates The only I've only ever seen the TV show Blind Date So I know hot tub Going on dates. What do people do on dates? The only... Mall shop. Yeah. I've only ever seen the TV show Blind Date, so I know hot tub. Karate.

Yeah. Bars in the middle of the day. Those sumo suits. Yeah. Mechanical bull. There was an episode of Blind Date. Mechanical Richard Mall. I watched an episode of Blind Date where the girl peed herself

on purpose at a restaurant she hated the guy but wasn't very bright I didn't understand it she's like the only way out of this is to pee myself can I pee on him?

wait he might like that I'm going to have to pee my way out of this it's up to you again bladder we've been through a lot of Can I pee on him? Wait, he might like that. No. I'm going to have to pee my way out of this. It's up to you again, bladder. We've been through a lot of situations together. So you've been peeing on a lot of dates. Yep. Yep.

Nope. Haven't been on any dates since I've been single. Do people still go on dates? I don't know, to be perfectly honest. I know a friend of mine, because this was always fascinating to me, and I don't know to be honest i uh i know a friend of mine because this was always fascinated me and i didn't know how it worked is on the e harmony and uh it says it's a lot of work it's like having a homework at the end of a long school day like she said like you you can't just if somebody i think it's something along the lines of if somebody asks you on a date, you have to explain, if you don't want to go out with them, you have to like give a reason why. Oh, to the eHarmony people?

Yeah. Or you'll get reported? Well, I've heard they can kick you off for just a bunch of reasons. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so I guess if you're like, I don't want to date you because you seem like an asshole yeah because i saw the stink lines on your profile so therefore um have you ever done anything like that no you don't want to do anything you don't even want to date well no and i don't use computers well so it would have to be like some sort of faxing system. Sure, yeah.

Yeah, I don't like technology or dating. So that is out. Yeah. Well, I think you're better off. Like the whole internet dating, just like entering into a big group of electronic strangers seems kind of scary. Yeah, when you say it like that. A group of electronic strangers. Sounds terrifying.

It's the name of a Gary Newman album. But yeah, no, you got to keep it... Like, I wish there was high school for grown-ups. It is. It's called Life. there was high school for grownups. It is. It's called life. That is high school for grownups. Well, I, yeah, I don't know why I said that. I don't wish that at all.

Yeah. Because Dave was on the cheer squad. Were you really? Yeah. Actually? Yes, I was absolutely on the cheer squad. I was a cheerleader. Oh, yeah?

Were you really? What position did you play? I was a sweeper. What position did you play? i was a sweeper position did you i was uh jumpy i was i was a cheerleader for a year how was that do you remember any cheers terrible oh yeah but just like stupid ones oh okay well then we don't want to hear it though no like like the classic like r-e-d red h-o-D-H-O-T-H-O-T. Once we start, we cannot stop. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. You know, those kind of things. And I only tried out for the cheerleading squad because there was a guy who told me I was too flat to be on it.

So I was like, well, I'll prove him wrong. You don't need boobs to be a cheerleader. That's how you got into improv as well, right? I said, you're too flat to be an improv. You're too flat. You need boobs. People love using reverse psychology on you. And they know your weak spot.

I didn't want to be on the team, squad, and the first... Team squad. The first football game of the year when we were supposed to go out and cheer. I realized how just like easily convinced to do things the other girls were so i was like hey guys we're not ready maybe we should just stay here in the locker room and think about how we're not ready to be out there on the field embarrassing ourselves and convinced them all to stay in the locker room for the entire football game we never went out in the field and

the football team came back in and just were like not into our changing but we saw go at locker room hey guys what's up i'm all sweaty when we saw in the hallways they were really mad that we hadn't come out right yeah and you could. Yeah, and you could just say, like, well, you never cheer at our cheering. And then, well, and then I was told I could only be on the cheerleading team or on the improv team. If you got implants. In high school. No, I had to choose, and I chose improv. Good choice.

Yeah, I think so. Yeah, and that path has made all the difference. Yeah. How is your cheerleading career going? Yeah, what was the name of your high school team? The Windsor Dukes. Go Dukes. Go Dukes.

D-U-K-E-S. Yeah, that's the way we spell Dukes. Hey, Dukes. Look at those Dukes go out there. I actually was not on my high school cheer squad We didn't have a cheer squad We did not have a cheer squad at all I would have, oh god I would have Really?

We had a cheer Did you have a football team? No Okay, we had a football team and a cheer squad I don't remember who was on I tried out for the football team and then on the second day that when they made the first cut they were like okay guys we'll see you here tomorrow at seven o'clock and i was like i'm out never went back seven o'clock in the morning yeah

oh no sir yeah too early well i knew like just looking down the road of my life that they options like whether the CFL, not good enough to wake up at 7 o'clock in the morning for. When you're in the CFL, you don't get paid enough to not have a job in the offseason. All of the players are firemen. I used to work with a guy. I worked with two. He worked at a catering place with me.

As a fireman. So sad. Well, he did it because in the offseason it kept him in shape, lifting heavy boxes and stuff. But he was like a tight end or something on the strokes. There's like three players on every team that make, you know. Yeah, they make enough money. $100,000.

Everybody must hate those guys on the team. Yeah, I worked with two of them at Elections BC. Oh! Counting. Yes. Not really. Okay. We're answering people's questions on phone lines. Okay. What kind of dumb questions were people

asking? Oh, God. Why can't I find Harper listed to vote for? Because this is a BC election. Can I write in Harper? Harper's my dog, by the way. I had a lot of people threatening to kill other people because they were putting signs up on their property of people they didn't want to vote for

so calling it what are my rights tell him i'm gonna kill him can i murder that person you have the right to remain silent click again another high five to the football players what was your catchphrase again hello hello is that. Is that how you answer the post? I hate that I did that now. I want to shoot myself. That's how catchphrases are born. By accident, they catch fire. People love them, they can't

explain why. Ew. No, it's forced. That's on the cover of People people is ew this year's hello oh man um so single mingle single uh doing some comedy uh what else you were saying uh like you haven't had to work a regular job because you've just kind of like got gigs here and there. Yeah, weird stuff. But you said like somebody paid you to make videos or something?

I got paid by Air New Zealand to – Air New Zealand? Is that what you said? Yeah. Okay. To make videos for this online contest. They had like plant videos so that other people would make them as well. Oh, okay. But like we got paid and

those people were trying to win stuff and then and then once you did it you're like i actually do want to win i got paid to judge high school kids improv wow they pay that oh they pay the canadian improv games yeah oh wow doesn't pay fantastic. But it's a dinner and a show. But the benefits. But you get to watch kids do improv and then judge them and then they cry. Oh, do they? Some of them. Wow.

Oh, yeah, some of them. You create kid cry. That's gotten a lot more serious. You're in high school. You get, yeah. Yeah, you've got your esteem is wrapped up in these things. Yeah. My thing was cigarettes.

But no one was there to judge you. No, everybody said I was a great smoker. The high school smokers, they seem dangerous. Like, if you smoke... They are, to their health. We would not have been friends in high school. Nope. Oh, no.

No. Although I mingled with different crowds, but, probably not Because I was out in the smoke pit I had really long hair I wore like a I looked like years later What then became known as the trench coat mafia look I had that before it was I had friends that were like that

But they didn't smoke I think the smoking was the greatest barrier Smoking I didn't have any tattoos. That was the one thing in my group. All the other people I was with had tattoos in high school, but I didn't have any tattoos. How do you get a tattoo as a child? Well, high school is not child, is it?

Yeah, you have to be 18, I think. You have to be 18 unless you have your parents' permission. Yeah, I think these were people that would get... What kind of parents give you permission to get a Mustang tattoo? I don't think... My friends in high school were twins. And they got permission. The parents couldn't tell them apart.

So they're like, why don't you get your face tattooed? Like a turtle. They each got tattoos on the small of their backs. As known as a tramp stamp? A tramp stamp. Quite large tattoos. They each got tattoos on the small of their backs. As known as a tramp stamp? A tramp stamp. Yeah. Quite large tattoos. One was of a cartoon devil.

No! Who also had, but like a sexy cartoon devil who also had wings, like angel wings. Fallen angel. And then the other was of an angel with devil horns. Oh. And did they plan them out that way? They did. Or was it a coincidence? They did plan them out, and it was around that time where people wore shirts that were

like, 90% angel, 10% devil. Oh, wow. Good synergy. It was like pictorial representations of that. I like it. I like it a lot. Yeah, it's really cool. Yeah, they were good.

How old were they that their parents gave them permission? They were 15 or 16. Oh, wow. Maybe a little older, but... Regrettable. I had all sorts of friends in high school that had tattoos. I don't know how they... They must have just known an old dude that would go sign the piece of paper or whatever.

You know what I mean? Like, we'll buy you a bottle of scotch if you come and pretend to be my dad. You know what I mean? So you get this tattoo. And they were all like, you know, the regrettable sort of tattoos. You know, skull with a snake coming out the eye. Etc.

I wouldn't even be able to afford a tattoo when I was a teenager. Oh yeah, people would save up. And these guys weren't there. And you gotta pay the homeless guy. etc. I wouldn't even be able to afford a tattoo when I was a teenager. Oh yeah, people would save up. And you gotta pay the homeless guy to be your dad. That's a lot of money. So you're just the same old guy that was here last week with that girl?

I got a big family. I got a big family. I gotta keep in tattoos Why do you think I'm homeless Or spend all my money raising these children And I got nothing left for myself They want tattoos I'm gonna give them tattoos

I let them live in the home And I stay outside I'm a good father like that I give them tattoos. I let them frost their tips. These are some fine upstanding young children. Worst tattoo that you've ever seen on an actual person? I'll give you a second.

Because you came on strong with the angel devil. Can I go? Can I go? Yeah, go. I'll give you a second Can I go? When she said cartoon devil I remembered there was a guy Who was about 20 And got a cartoon Baby devil

Like a baby boy Not a sexy lady devil A little baby boy devil Just running around carrying a pitchfork And I remember I told my Is it the Casper the Friendly Ghost version? That kind of thing, yeah.

I remember I once told my friend a couple years later, I told my friend that I got a tattoo and I was just, you know, screwing with him. And when he asked what it was, that's what I said. And just the reaction he had,

it was like he was trying to be nice, but he knew that was the worst idea for a tattoo. And I think it was over the phone, so he didn't make me prove it, but I eventually told him that I did not get a tattoo. So that is the worst tattoo I've ever seen. I can't think if this one's the worst or the best. It wasn't a friend, but a friend of a friend that I met at a party

who had, like, on his knuckles, had F-I-S-T on his knuckle. I was like, yeah, I guess that works. I mean, that is what it is when you do that. You should have got K-N-U-C, and then, oops, and then just, like, on the side of of his hand the rest of the word knuckle. Can you think of one?

My cousin got a huge wolf tattoo on his back. Oh, wow. That could work for or against. What does your cousin do? Is he in prison? Is he a wolf? He's not in prison. Is he a professional wolf murderer?

Couldn't think of a job involving wolves. What? Wolf wrangler. Did he star in the new Red Riding Hood movie? That looks good, hey guys? Are you being sarcastic or serious? Yes.

I can't tell sarcasm. Oh, really? That's a shame. Barely. Did you? Hello. Hello. Ew.

I'm stealing your catchphrase. No, that's how it becomes a catchphrase. It catches. Catch on fire. That's where the phrase to catch on fire comes from. Sorry. Dave, what's going on with you? Tattoo-wise.

Tattoo-wise? Oh, a lot. I got this baby devil tattoo. I can't show it to you, but trust me. Trust me, I got it. It's pretty embarrassing. As for our agreement. I peed my way out of a date.

Yeah, that was our agreement. I would pee my way out of a date That was our agreement I would pee my way out of a date If Dave got a tattoo of a devil Well Since our last podcast Just so the listener knows We're banking a bunch of podcasts Yeah we're a couple of banksies

Come on You were on the fence Graham's going to be away for much of the month of April And so we're recording them Hand over fist So we've only had a couple days Since we last recorded one And since then

I got really sick Like I was coming down with a cold that day Yeah you were already sick But I got really sick. Oh, right. Like, I was coming down with a cold that day. Yeah, you were already sick. But the next day, I was super sick. And it was Sunday night. It was... I went to the grocery store. And I went to the pharmacy section of the grocery store.

And I wanted to get some cold medicine. And it was Sunday night. A lot of places were closed. I was not the mood uh to go you know searching all over town looking for cold medicine and I got to the pharmacy section of the grocery store and a couple of the um the shelves were like locked like oh yeah yeah panels in front of them that were locked. And those were the shelves that had the cold medicine. All the good stuff. Yeah. I wanted a NyQuil.

Meth ingredients. Oh, is that why? Probably. And there was no one around in the section. So no one was there to help me. And I wasn't in the mood to chase someone down. So on my way out, I just started knocking things over. And I do that.

Like the cashier? Nothing, like, breakable, but, like, boxes or bags of kitty litter and a few bottles of vitamin water. You know, that's just, like. That's a riot start. They have to suffer for not being there for me. Because I've done that before. When you go to a grocery store, the point of a supermarket is that they'll have everything. It's your one-stop shop.

And sometimes I'll be cooking dinner that has six ingredients. And I'll get five of the ingredients. And they don't have the sixth ingredient. And I'll just dump everything from my basket into the freezer. Why in the freezer? Because screw them. It's so inconvenient.

I then have to go to another supermarket. I'm not going to get some of the stuff there. I'm not going to give them the satisfaction. No, fair enough. Have you ever had a thing where you weren't looking for a particular product? I was looking for a fight. Because somebody did what you did. They just dumped their product on the shelf and you're like, oh, I need this.

Like you weren't looking for that, but because somebody... Has that ever happened to you? I've never picked up... That happened to me with the thing of orange juice. I've never picked up stuff that someone else had handled. Oh, okay. Well, it's all been handled at some point down the line. Someone put it on the shelf.

Yeah, but... Somebody put it in a truck. But sometimes in the shelf, on the shelf, they're arranged. They're still in the box. Just the top of the box has been cut off. Oh, yeah, sure. At your no frills. Yeah, and then back at the

factory, I assume everyone wore gloves. So, are you a germaphobe or a snob? A little bit of both. But he's not a snob-a-phobe. No, sir. Yeah, no, I just, I

get really angry at grocery stores, apparently. Putting stuff in freezers for no reason, all of a sudden. Not the freezers with doors. Oh, okay. Just the, you know. None of the ones you talked about. What do you call those ones?

Oh, Rubicons. The Rubicon freezers. Yeah. Yeah. I don't even get that. Neither do I. That was the first word that came into my head for some reason. Okay. Rhombus. Yeah, exactly.

Do you feel better now? Yeah, I'm feeling surprisingly better. Usually when I get sick I'm sick for weeks. I was gonna say months, but weeks. Because if it was months, you should be going to a hospital. But no, like it takes me forever to get over a cold, but

I'm feeling better. Yeah, you don't seem sick. I seem great. I'm full of energy. Yeah, yeah. I'm full of pith and vinegar. Full of life. Yeah, guys, it's great to be alive. You're ready to mingle.

Yeah. Engaged and ready to mingle. Mm-hmm. I'm not single at all. Sorry, ladies. Aw. And four guys. I'm attractive to four guys.

Which four? You'll never tell. So that's about it. Pretty good. Yeah. Do you have any... Oh, there are no frills opened up in your neighborhood. I've never been to the no frills.

I imagine they're pretty uniform. Oh, you've never been to one ever? Yeah. Oh, it's exactly... A no frills is a supermarket that apparently, I assume, has no frills i imagine they're pretty uniform oh you've never been to one ever yeah oh it's exactly a supermarket that apparently i assume has no frills oh yeah um zero zero frills i mean they've got you know doors and stuff like it's it's not you know what i mean like it's not it's not really like an outdoor market in a parking lot on a saturday that's like the real no frills like this has like heat and like doors and cashiers you know what i mean like there's certain frills that uh other markets well you know what i mean like if like if you went to like a market in uh you know istanbul like it wouldn't be that would be the self checkout exactly but they do that

thing where they just cut off the top of the box and then there you go there's your display type of thing that's the type of setup yeah I don't know it's not like it's weird if you go in there and then you go to a Safeway it's not like Safeway's like so frilly

yeah they're both equally lacking in frills you know in there and then you go to a Safeway, it's not like Safeway's like so frilly. Yeah. They're both equally lacking in frills, you know. They got groceries. They're both grocery stores. Is it all like no-name brand? No, no. Name brand stuff. I heard they have 50 cent chocolate bars.

Yeah, I mean, they definitely Real chocolate bars? The chocolate bars endorsed by 50 Cent. If I could name a candy shop. There you go. Candy shop, chocolate bars. Pretty good. Pretty good.

I actually, earlier this evening, somebody retweeted one of 50 Cent's tweets. 50 underscore Cent. Yeah. I don't like him because he's really super homophobic and sexist. He's just like a real ass. And he's dating Chelsea Handler. Is he really? No.

They were for a while. Yeah, I think they were for a while. She's 29 years old. No, she she's not she claims to be like 35 um but i was gonna you know like respond with the at 50 said something about his thing but then i was like i'm scared i don't want to be like because you know maybe he scrolls through the people who respond and picks one at random and is like, I'm going to give it to this guy. This guy is going to get murdered. I'm going to put a hit on him.

I can afford to. Yeah, exactly. With all my chocolate bars. Is he still mostly famous for being shot nine times? I don't think he's mostly famous for that. Yeah. He didn't appear on talk shows as the guy who was shot a lot, was he? But that was when he first...

That was his claim to fame. Before he was a famous rapper, he was the rapper who was shot nine times. That's true. Which is more than most rappers. Right? His tattoos look great. I don't even know what they're of. Yeah, I think tattoos always look good on people

Who are really in awesome shape It's people who are like Kind of, you know Confederate flag on my gut Yeah, exactly With weird tufts of hair and stuff Kind of sticking out of it I want to get a guy

If I ever get chest hair I want to get a tattoo of a guy And my chest hair would be his afro You should get like a troll Like one of those troll dolls It depends what the chest hair looks like When you just said that My eyes widened so big

Afro Or like That he would conceivably have so much chest hair that it would make an afro? But just in one spot. Yeah, I just imagined that it would grow in a circular manner. Well, I don't know. I've got a tiny bit, but what if it grows in... It's all red and it grows...

What? No, what if it grows in all red with like a... What? The ball what if it grows in all red with like a... What? The ball's losing its mind. What if it grows in all red and it... Say what again? Your catchphrase. And it has a little number sign on the side and it looks like Archie.

Would I be a fool not to get Archie's face tattooed around my... Why would there be a number sign? You mean a hashtag. Because Archie's hair has a number sign on the side. Not a dollar sign. You thought it was a dollar sign. You were thinking of Mr. Lodge. I really was thinking of a dollar sign.

Didn't Richie Rich's dog have a dollar on his side or a cent? Yeah, maybe. Yeah, that feels right. Do you have red chest hair? No. I got red beard hair. He does have red beard hair, though.

Yeah, that can happen. Genetics, eh? That's the thing. I don't have much chest hair. Do you want to have a look? You've already unbuttoned, so. No, I'm just going to. No, it's all right.

What's your take on chest hair? Yes, no, in the middle? It's alright. What's your take on chest hair? Yes? No? In the middle? It's okay. If there's so much of it then it's better? Hello? Hello? What about a Don Draper level? I don't know what Don Draper

I mean, I know what Jon Hamm looks like but I don't. What about an Alec Baldwin? Because he had, like, tons of... Oh, his is okay. Really? Because he's one of the hairier... Yeah, but I guess if you're super handsome, it's okay. It's...

Yeah. It's not about the neck down. It's the neck up, right? Well, I mean, it's all... The face is good. It's a total package. Like, I think you can pull it off. Like, Brad Pitt...

What, Chester? You can pull off the Chester? Brad Pitt wearing a weird toque in the middle of summer oh he can pull off yeah no you're not a brad pitt i don't like him no more anymore you're over it i used to love brad pitt i sat through seven years in tibet twice in the theater 14 years how long of a movie is it? Three hours In the theater Same with like Meet Joe Black Oh wow you sat through that whole movie? Meet Joe Black yeah

Wow cause there's one second of goodness in it And that's where the character gets hit by the car And then the rest of it is just like Ugh It's the slowest most boring I think he's I don't know Brad Pitt is a little... Played out?

Yeah, he's played out. Do you think that he waxes his chest? Wow! Stop. What was your other catchphrase? Ew! Do you think he waxes his chest? I don't know.

Is he hairless? I don't know what his chest looks like. Oh, is he? Well, he was in Fight Club. I know that he was in Fight Club. He probably waxed it from Fight Club. I don't have any chest hair. None.

But you have hair on your chest. Yeah. From your chest. That continues on from my face. But I don't have hair. There's no hair on my arms. Oh. Yeah, right?

Oh, my God. Go ahead. Oh, my God. Yeah, it's like a lady. I have actually, I'm hairiest underneath my wristwatch. Yeah, really? It's like when someone has a cast on and they take it off and it's all hairy.

Because you, when you shave your arms, you leave the watch on. Yep. Yep, makes sense oh good stuff um uh what's going on with you there's a supermarket in your neighborhood two things first i went for the first time ever in my life to uh cirque de soleil what yeah there's a Cirque du Soleil in town? It came and went already. There's Quidam. Quidam. Yeah, Quidam.

Which is French for what woman? Quidditch. What? I don't know what it's... When did you go? What? How? I went on Sunday.

Why didn't you tell me? We could have gone together. I could have been your date. You could have kicked whoever you were going with out. To the coib. It was cool. I've never, have you seen it before? I've seen one before.

Have you seen it before? Yeah, I've seen a couple. So I've, yeah, I was just, I felt like I had, you know, was like the only person walking around, you know, besides like people who've never heard of certain stuff. You know what I mean? Like, in countries that doesn't exist and stuff. Yeah. It's good. It's magical.

You see it and you get why it's a thing. You're like, oh, yeah, this is good for a night out. You're like, yeah, this is stupendous. And I can see why people want to spend money on it. It was in Rogers Center, which is our hockey arena. Rogers Arena. Yeah, sorry. $4.50 for a bottle of water.

That one? The one that looks like a spider? Are you talking... Is this going in the podcast? Yeah. What are you doing? No, it's Roger's Arena. Is that the one that looks like a spider?

No, no, no. That's BC Place. No, that's BC Place. That looks scary. Yeah. And it looks like... If I was somebody who was living around there And they're like oh all of a sudden there will be giant

Pillars that retract The roof in front of your view I'd have something to say about that For people who don't know Vancouver we used to have this big Bubble domed Stadium Much beloved

But we decided to get rid of that because It started falling apart. Yeah, the roof started falling apart and people were like, it's kind of a waste to, you know, now that retractable roof stadiums exist,

why don't we turn this into one because while it rains a lot in vancouver the summers are wonderful and no one wants to be under a balloon roof uh and then they drew up these uh sketches of what it would look like and everyone was like oh that's pretty nice and it's all glowing and stuff but now it's just this weird spider building it's terrifying it does it looks really spooky um so i went and saw that and it was great and then uh this this happened today and i it's one of the things i could not stop laughing at it and made me laugh really hard on site and last week our guest was kevin. I wish I had discovered this last week, but apparently he did some photo shoot for, you know, like stock photo websites. What?

How long ago? I don't know. He had long hair in the pictures, and I only know it because past guest Connor Haller posted on Kevin Lee's Facebook, hey, I found these stock photos of you, and he's delivering pizza in the stock photos? There's one where he's delivering pizza, and it's just him, like, a full body shot, and then there's another one of him bursting out of a wall with a pizza. And it's the greatest.

It's the greatest. We'll get him back on the show real soon. Like, I just, I was saddened that I didn't find out about it while he was, before he was on the show last week. But man, oh man, was that, what a wild trip. Cirque du Soleil and then that. What a week I had. I feel like we got off Cirque du Soleil too quick, though. Oh, go ahead.

What did they do? Like, what was the craziest thing that they did? Oh, go ahead. What did they do? Like, what was the craziest thing that they did? The thing that I was, like, the most impressed with was there was three Chinese women that did the, I think it's called the Chinese yo-yo. Were they women or little girls? Women.

Oh, because I think I saw that and they were little girls. Oh, they looked like little girls, but they were done up to look like 1950s, kind of like a... No, 60s, kind of like a pop band. Like they had a poofy hairdo and stuff. They were very tiny, and they did the... That's what it's called, right? A Chinese yo-yo with the two sticks and the string and then the thing that spins on it? Yeah. I don't know.

It's something hippies do, isn't it yeah yeah they do well they do devil sticks yeah there's the devil sticks and and there's poi which is something else isn't poi something you eat no uh well it is poi is um tarot root i think oh really uh but uh the other kind of poi is like those it's like balls on strings that they spin around and uh at night and light them on fire. Or they have glow-in-the-dark ones. Yeah, this was like that, but awesome. Oh, okay. They should have a hippie Cirque du Soleil.

And that, to me, was the favorite thing because there was a point and that's the thing too is I've realized since seeing it that trying to describe what you saw in Cirque du Soleil is much like trying to describe a dream you had. People are like, yeah, I guess that would be awesome if I saw it with my own eyes. But I checked out halfway through. Yeah, exactly. So somebody was standing on somebody's head, that's great.

Yeah, but it was fun all around. But it's hard to say which impact my week more seeing Cirque du Soleil or seeing Kevin Lee as a pizza delivery man in stock photographs you and you haven't heard anything from Kevin no and that's the greatest I hope I never hear I just want the mystery to just continue well that's terrific it sounds like everyone's had a great couple days. Yeah, it's been really good. Single, recovering, stock photo. I'm in recovery.

Now, do you want to move on to overheard? I sure would. Overheard. You're hairless. You're so hairless, it's weird. It's like yeah like if a baby had sex with a baby and then had a hairless baby um i don't know how long this character is gonna stick around we'll see overheards but before we move on to overheards, in the break, we were talking about tattoos. Tattoos.

And we didn't mention that past guest Connor Holler has some amazing tattoos. He has a hamburger? He has a very detailed hamburger complete with sesame seeds on the top. And did we ever talk about on the show how once on his show, a Bronx Cheer hero show, he raffled off? So when you came in the door, you were asked to put your name in like a bucket for a raffle, but you had to write it out. You had to write your name. out you'd like you had to write your name and everyone put their name in and he took all of the names and then chose one at random and at the very end of the hero show had that person's name tattooed on his arm yeah in handwriting in handwriting in their handwriting i think he

added the word doctor doctor it was brad decker and he added doctor. Dr. Brad Decker. And he's still got the tattoo, of course. Yeah. Permanent. But he also has a Sobe lizard on his calf. Oh, right. Is it the Sobe lizard? It is exactly like the Sobe lizard. It's like the Sobe lizard, but it's not.

It's not actually, but it is nearly identical. And then he's got tribal art on his back. Oh no, that's on his leg too. That's a shame. Now that's the question is, which ones of these were the ironic ones? He was very young when he got the lizard and the tribal

art. That is very funny. One of the guys from the sketch troupe, the Imponderables, has a tramp stamp. Oh, no! I remembered the worst tattoo I've ever seen! Abby had this... She has a picture of you on her.

When Abby worked at a talent agency, they had a client, an actor, who was a guy who had an enormous tramp stamp. And he also had this picture of a surfer, like, surfing at sundown, or a sunset behind the silhouette of a surfer. And it was just the most, like, grotesque orange salmon-colored thing on his shoulder. So that's the one. So it just looked like he had a disease.

Yeah. Surferitis. Overherds. Overherds. You know the way this goes. We like to start with the guest and work our way around the room. How do you feel about it? I feel okay. I was just

saying to Dave that I have this vague recollection that I heard the funniest thing from these two kids on the bus, but I don't remember it. Overforgot. I do have an overheard from last night when it was after an improv show. It was on a date. Nope. It was after an improv show and we were all partying. And if you know Cam McLeod.

He likes to party. He is a lovely man. Very funny and really likes to party. Yeah. Yeah. So we were drinking Lamb's Navy out of the bottle. Yeah. It's a very cheap, very cheap rum.

And then there were a bunch of Smirnoff Ice around. I have a couple in my fridge. It's a very cheap rum. And then there were a bunch of Smirnoff ice around. I have a couple in my fridge. We were all drinking those. Because it was a Tuesday night? Yep. Well, it was one friend's birthday, but we were just partying. Everyone.

It's someone's birthday somewhere. Yeah, everyone. It's someone's birthday somewhere. Yeah, exactly. And so I was in one room and he went into the other with a few people. And the music died down and you could just hear him yelling from the other room. No! Get back here! Red wine shots! Get back here! Just screaming at a friend of mine who didn't want to take any more red wine shots. Any more? I think any more than one.

It's fine to pass up. It also doesn't quite count as an overheard. What is a whole experience was fine. Red wine is not usually shot. No. It's sniffed, then sipped. Yeah, and then spat out.

Yeah, and then eaten with a steak next to it. Is it like in Spain where they'll mix red wine and Coca-Cola? Oh, that's an Italian thing. Is it an Italian thing? And they call it puppy love. Oh, there's a name. There's a name for it. I know that there's a beer and a, if you mix a beer with either ginger ale or 7-Up, that is called a shandy or a rattler, depending where you are.

Oh, I think it isn't a shandy. I thought a shandy was a wine, something with wine in it. Am I wrong? You're thinking of Brandy. Oh, I know. I'm thinking of... Damn it! Brandy versus Monica.

I want to play that video game. It's in the new Mortal Kombat. Brandy versus Monica. And at the end, the finished move is that you take the boy, and that's it. Well, the finishing move is that you take the boy. That's it. Well, the finishing move is delightful harmonies. The finishing move is when Brandy runs over Monica with her car. That wasn't in the video. She's a...

No, but Brandy hit someone with her car. Oh, really? Yeah, she killed them. Really? Did she? Yeah. She killed them? She hit someone while she was speeding, I think, and they died.

Wow. Did you know that Matthew Broderick did that? She's so unfamous that they didn't even leave a... Like, Lindsay Lohan barely brushes up against another car and it's on the cover of every newspaper. Did you know that Matthew Broderick killed somebody in a car accident? Or, like, actually, I think it was, like, a family of people in Ireland. That's for real i don't want to laugh yeah you really shouldn't but you made it so much worse like hilariously

i think actually a family of immigrants yeah actually i think it was an orphanage yeah was he drunk um no he was i think he was actually i think he was drunk and speeding and it was on one of these like windy mountain roads. I did not hear that. No. And it was like post him being famous for like Ferris Bueller and all that. Oh, a long time ago. Yeah.

But then it went away, which is weird. Yeah. Cause that thing sort of sticks with you. Like people, uh, I can't think of any examples right now, but people that have. But his punishment was being married to Sarah Jessica Parker. That was a court-ordered punishment. Don't you laugh at that Maxim magazine joke. Hey, we all had some fun with that joke.

Okay, can I go next? Yeah. When you told that story, it reminded me. on Saturday night, I went to a concert. When I was still feeling very sick, I should not have gone out, but I had tickets to this concert. That was this band Born Ruffians from Toronto. And the opening band was an all-female Weezer cover band called Sheezer. Really? And they were fantastic.

Yeah. Like, they were note for note. They were... It was just perfect. The concept sounds perfect. It was... They only played songs from the first two albums, and they...

Good. They nailed it. Oh, it was the greatest thing. Anyway. Well, this isn't my overheard, but your thing reminded me of that, because Born Ruffians, their music is very sort of, it's got a lot of stops, sudden stops. And then they'll pick up and then they'll suddenly stop for effect.

And then a lot of dynamic ranges in their music. And at one point, a guy was dancing and Abby leaned over to me to point it out. And that was just when the band came to a stop and she said look at that guy's dancing but that's not my overheard my overheard is from the bathroom in between the two sets I went up to the bathroom

and it was the men's bathroom but a girl was in there and she had just come out of a stall and she thought it was the men's bathroom, but a girl was in there, and she had just come out of a stall, and she thought it was a big deal that she was a girl in the guy's bathroom. Oh, yeah. And no guys were paying any attention to her, and a couple guys were washing their hands in the sink, and she went, I didn't know guys even wash their hands.

And this other guy goes, just makes fun of her laugh. And he was my hero. I was really proud of that guy. Yeah, he did all right. Sheezer. Check him out on the interwebs. Yeah, oh. I'm going to now. Yeah, why not? Well, there's really nothing on the interwebs. Yeah, oh. I'm going to now.

Yeah, why not, right? I mean, well, there's really nothing on the interwebs. I mean, they got a couple of videos, but... Yeah, and dating sites. Yeah, check them out in person if they're in your town. You really can't get the effect from the interwebs. No. No.

Exactly. Just like intercourse. You just can't get the real effect from the interwebs. Is that why they call it the interweb? Yeah. Initially, they were like, this is going to be exactly like it. Oh, wait. They don't call it the interweb.

My overheard comes courtesy of being at work. And because I work down in the basement of the CBC for the time being. Not for much longer but uh there's an old guy that's kind of he does a lot of the set building and stuff like that he's been there forever it's so super like just uh you say hi to him and he just kind of grumbles at you he's not the friendliest guy and i saw him he was i guess they rent out a lot of the studios for stuff. And he always has like a younger intern with him helping and stuff. And he was pulling a metal like to-go tray out of the oven in one of the prep areas.

And he was giving the kid a lecture. And all I caught, well, the tray had spaghetti in it. And the guy was saying, you've never heated up spaghetti before? So, oh, that kid must have fucked up bad because he was getting the lecture and the guy was showing him how to heat up spaghetti in the oven. Oh, man, I would not want to be that poor kid.

What happens at the CBC? A lot of Italian rentals. You rent an Italian. You have him try on a wife beater. The shirt, not the lifestyle. I think that's weird, A, that the person didn't know how to heat up spaghetti. How hard can that be? And B, that the guy had to take out

spaghetti, the easiest food to prepare in the world. And also, it was completely unclear who it was for. You know, I didn't see anybody else around in any of the other rooms. And this guy was just getting a lecture about it, so he must have just thrown the

spaghetti in there with no container, and it just went right onto the bottom of the oven. He must have done a really bad job to deserve a spaghetti lecture. Sure, yeah. And the guy was talking to him, and he had some spaghetti and tongs, and he was pointing at him with it. Isn't the spaghetti lecture, isn't that a Guns N' Roses all-covers album? No, it was a kid's book. The spaghetti lecture. Oh, yeah.

Have you seen people, have you, you've heard of the, is it the spaghetti monster? The flying spaghetti monster? Flying spaghetti monster. It's like a. Made up religion. Made up religion, yeah. And people have bumper stickers for it. Yeah.

I think that's sort of distasteful. What, bumper stickers for it? Yeah. I think that's sort of distasteful. What, bumper stickers in general? No, bumper stickers in general. But I mean, let people have their own religion. You don't have to be the person who's like, not only do I not believe in anything, but I also want to be a loud mouth about it. I find that, and this is probably just my

experience being in Vancouver where there's not, if there are people of religious nature, they don't, there's not a lot of preaching going on, I find in Vancouver, except by atheists. The only people I ever get preached to by

are atheists, which I think is the inverse of probably a lot of places, but just as annoying. I can assure you. It's just as annoying as the, believe in my thing, it's just believe in my thing that's not that thing. It's not anything. Yeah.

I'd actually rather hang out with the spaghetti monster people, because I think that there's a cross-section of people that are being sarcastic and crazy in the spaghetti monster. Maybe that's why that guy was so mad. This is my religion! You do not throw

a spaghetti monster all over the oven. You put him in a special metal tray and you warm him up. And he cannot be depicted. Too soon. We also have overheards that are sent in by you, the listener, the bumpers. If you want to send in

an overheard, you can to stoppodcastyourself at gmail.com. Are you guys doing anything for St. Paddy's Day tomorrow? Nope. Yeah, I'm doing a horrible gig in Surrey. Oh, right. Can't wait to hear all about it. Do people respond well to your stand-up at

casinos? Oh, no. No, I've done, when it's a proper show, yes. But when it's just like, oh, there's these people and it's, you know, everybody from you know everybody from this welding company and it's you know whatever

their boss is throwing them a party Weldo Weldo Weldo I let my kid name our company Have a Weldo Daddy you gonna How about Weldo? Daddy, you want to go Weldo?

Oh, man, that's good. That's my 30-year-old kid. Daddy, go Weldo. Where's Weldo? The thing is, people always overestimate how much entertainment people need when they give them alcohol and a buffet dinner. The answer is zero. People will just talk to each other and drink, and they don't need... I hate to be the one drumming myself out of money. And the worst thing is, casinos pay pretty well.

Yeah. So I'm going to shut up. Our first overheard comes from Colin D, who says, Hi Dave, Graham, and took a stab at a guest, Darcy Michael. Oh, better luck next time. Fuck you.

That's just the Coco talking. That's the Coco talking. I am hopped up on chocolate. I don't think that was recorded. I don't think any of the listeners know you were drinking hot cocoa before the show. No, they don't. I know, but you know what? It felt right to say it.

I brought my own organic hot chocolate. Oh, you never said it was organic. it's organic well done uh i was at the california academy of sciences in san francisco last weekend near a mother and her eight-year-oldish son inside the large indoor rainforest exhibit there are lots of butterflies that can roam freely within the exhibit and we were all looking at one that was getting fairly close to a spider's web when I heard the following conversation. Little boy, Mom, Mom, the butterfly is going to get caught by the spider.

Mom, there's no spider. Oh, my God. At which point the butterfly hit the web and a huge spider quickly moved in for the kill. Wow. And he enclosed a photo of it happening. I'll post that on the blog. Yeah.

So well done, Colin D. Classy overheard all the way. I think it was only in the last few years where I realized that spiders, their webs actually do work to catch flies. I sort of knew that, but I've never witnessed it. I have. It seems like it would be the coolest. What, to see a spider eat something? Yeah. It's awesome.

What have you seen a spider eat? It was like a beetle-ish bug that was caught in a web, and I just sat watching as the spider crawled from the corner of its web into the center and then just ate. Oh, man. Did it eat the whole thing?

Yeah. You know that there's some spiders that spin webs so big that they capture bats, and then the bats can't get out of them, and the spiders, like, they basically make a 24-hour meal out of the bat. Yeah. Yeah. Fourth yeah fourth nature is awesome um i love uh well first of all that's gross but like i'd love to watch that because a uh uh all bugs are terrible so like i don't know who to root for um spiders are the greatest because they eat all the other bugs that you hate. It's true. Yeah, they eat all the creepy bugs. It's true.

But they are in many ways the creepiest. And they eat disgusting butterflies that everybody hates. Oh, gross. Our second overheard comes from Mary E. Mary E., I was walking down the hall to one of my classes, and I overhear someone say, he's okay, but he seems like the, they burned down my house, now I have to burn down their house kind of type. Right. I didn't know it was that kind of type.

A real Kaiser Sorsay. You want to take that again? Is it Sorsay? No, it's Sorsay. The one guy calls him Sorsay in the movie, the guy that's all burnt, says Kaiser Sorce. Yeah, he says that because his lips are all burnt. I was doing the lip-burned version. You guys don't know.

Seems like the type who gets his lips burnt and burns others' lips in return. A real Krasman Snorzen. Krasman Sorpen. A real Snorzen. Chryslin Sorpen. A real Tyler Sorzen. I think it's Tyler Sorzen. Yeah. That movie would be a lot different if the character's name was Tyler. It was Tyler.

Tyler Sorzen must die. Our last one comes from Ian K. Hey, guys. I've got two overheards. I'm only going to read one. First, a few years ago, a friend and I were at the local ice cream stand waiting in line, or online. I hate that. Okay.

When a car drives by, a man then opens the window of said car and simply screams, ice cream sucks where's he from where's he from uh sorry i gotta look it up um new york oh wow yeah the local ice cream stand well i just love that. Well, I knew it was an East Coast thing because they're the people who say I was waiting online. All right. Yeah.

But yeah. Wow. That's funny. That should be like no matter what city you said, I was going to say that that should be that city's slogan. Ice cream sucks. New York City. Ice cream sucks.

That's fantastic. What a great thing to yell. Yeah, you guys are a bunch of sheep. Ice cream sucks. It's not true. That's the greatest part. I've spoken to people

who are like, the idea of eating something creamy on a hot day is unappealing to them. I can see that. But I don't think that's fair to just get rid of ice cream altogether because you don't want to eat it on a hot day. Oh, man. Oh, man. I don't want to walk around on a hot day, but I don't give up walking. Oh, I wish I could. Ice cream might be my favorite food.

Really? Yeah. I'm not that fond of it I like it yeah like I you know big big boy I like it if the boy I like doesn't call back Don't make fun of me. I forget the character's name. God. I used to, here's two things I used to do with ice cream. I would get. When I was going through puberty. With chocolate ice cream, I would just put it in the microwave for like 10 seconds and get it all melty and then I'd eat it. That's one thing. That's a whole thing.

Yeah. melty and then i'd eat it that's one thing that's the whole thing yeah and then uh also with just with chocolate ice cream i would um i get a couple spoonfuls of water and put it over the top and then the water freezes and you get like a crust on the top the first one i could identify with and then the second one i was i got the crust i don't understand yeah we used to my sisters and i used to like wait until the ice cream melted a little and then we'd stir it all together if it was neapolitan and then we'd have ice cream soup oh yeah ice cream soup totally uh i'd also throw a handful of chocolate chips in there if i could get my hand on them chocolate chips and ice cream it's all good this is all good stuff, guys.

But you know what? I don't... I think I have ice cream at most twice a year. It's the same with cake. I'll have cake. If it's there and everybody else is doing it, I can get in. But, you know, it's like cocaine, right, guys? Yeah, sure.

Wine shots. It's like wine shots or cocaine. We've mentioned the site before on the podcast. Local website, VancouverIsAwesome.com. It's a blog that talks about awesome things happening in Vancouver. Yeah. And in their first couple of years in existence, they maybe posted this twice, but they would post when Breyers ice cream went on sale at the local grocery store. That's pretty good.

And it was the greatest thing. Because that's expensive ice cream. For a while, I remember when I was younger, there was a company, I don't think they're around anymore, called Schwanz. Have you ever heard of that? I think that might be a German word for penis. when I was younger, there was a company I don't think they're around anymore called Schwanz. Have you ever heard of that? I think that might be a German word for penis. It was a subsidiary of Weldo. I don't know if you guys have heard.

Oh, subsidiary of Weldo. Isn't Weldo owned by Kaiser Soreze? Yeah, Kaiser Soreze owns Weldo, who owns Schwanz. His son Tylererse? Yeah. Kaeser Soerse owns Weldo, who owns Schwanz. His son Tyler named it. Yeah.

No, Schwanz was a... They had like... I think it started out with ice cream, and then they also sold frozen dinners and stuff. But they drove... They had a giant truck. Are you thinking of Schwanz's? No, no.

This was a real thing. They would drive around neighborhoods and you would put in an order and they would deliver ice cream to your house. Wow. And it was awesome. It was like the best ice cream I've ever had. And then they think they either went out of business or they were an American company that was trying to expand into Canada. But they went around our neighborhood and they gave everybody a free pint of ice cream. And it was so good that then everybody ordered more.

It was the best marketing. Yeah. Because it was delicious. Yeah. That story is almost as good as your dream. Well, we were talking ice cream, right? I didn't bring it up out of nowhere. I know.

But like your dream or Cirque du Soleil. It's like, well, that sounds great if I was there, but here we are. Listen, you didn't bring crusty ice cream in for everybody. Yes, point this out. I'm going to have some crusty ice cream later. Wouldn't the top crust be flavorless? Would it just be like frozen ice? Just ice.

Oh, wait, frozen ice. Good one. How thick do you think this layer is? I don't know. It's very thin. And then you don't want to put a lot of water on there. You don't want to water it down. A couple of spoonfuls.

Try it out. It sounds like that's where this spaghetti guy started out, with some weird quirk like that, and now he's yelling at guys about spaghetti in the basement of the CC. Would you ever put spaghetti in an oven? I mean, guys, in addition to overheards that have been written in by you, the writer,

we also have overheards that have been called in by you, the talker. If you would like to call us, our phone number is 206-339-8328. That's 206-339-T.. That's 206-339-TEET. Hey, Dave and Graham. This is Andrew in Omaha. I was in Target today,

and I overheard a guy in the next aisle say, can you put food coloring in water? And I couldn't hear what the person he was with said, but he must have had a similar reaction to me, because right after that, the guy goes, why wouldn't you want to? Then you could have blue water or whatever. Well, in fairness to that guy, it is called

food coloring. Not drink coloring? Yeah, it's not water coloring. I used to make milkshakes, and I would put food coloring in them all the time. Sounds like you had a lot of ice cream projects on the go. I really did. And the worst part was you would try to combine two different food colorings and make a third color, and you'd get greedy,

and you'd put in four food colorings, and it would just be brown. It was a chocolate milkshake anyway. Yeah, food coloring. Is it good for anything, really? Like, I mean, I know it colors food. Icing. Yeah. Oh, icing, yeah.

What do you mean, is it good for anything? Well, like, I mean, you know. Healthy? No. I've never had any in my house since I've left my parents' house. Yeah. I've never bought food coloring for anything. So I'm like, what do I need it for?

Nothing, right? Unless I want to make my water blue or whatever. Or a milkshake or icing. It's something moms have. Yeah. And Mars needs moms. Yeah. Have you seen that yet?

Yeah. You gotta. Of course. You just gotta. Of course. Zemeckis does it again. Was it Mecki? Yeah.

Was it the Meck? Hey, stop podcasting yourself. This is Chris from Morgan Hill calling in with an overheard. I'm going to skip some of the extraneous details and just say what needs to be said. I appreciate it. I was roofing with two newly immigrated Vietnamese gentlemen, and here is what one of them said to another. Hey, hand me a nail.

Man, you have a big nail right there. That's for nailing girls, yo. Not for the shingles. Okay. Love you guys. Bye. That's for nailing what? Girls.

Sweet. At the beginning of that I heard I was roofied and I was like oh this is going to be a horrible story so I was roofied with these two Vietnamese dudes I imagine it was one of them that roofied me yeah sure

no he was roofing oh shit I got it wrong twice What do you think it was? Oh rooming I thought they were his roommates Nope They were his roofmates Boo

Yeah I didn't deserve that What did you say boo? You laughed way too hard and then you booed it? I don't like that kind of Double talk? Yeah I guess that's what I mean Back up your mind Yeah, you laughed way too hard and then you booed it? I don't like that kind of... Double talk? Yeah, I guess that's what I mean. Pretty wishy-washy.

Yeah, back up your mind. That's why I'm not running for office anymore. Or am I? I want to vote for Harper the dog. Hey, you're a man, Dave, and another awesome guest. I'm calling in with an overheard. I was at the grocery store the other day, and there were these two guys, young guys,

one wearing the uniform of the grocery store, so, you know, probably worked there, my guess. I shouldn't assume. Anyway, he says to the other guy, and I'm going to try to match the level of conviction with which he's saying this. Man, since I moved out on my own, Chef Boyardee has changed my life.

Oh, man. I liked everything about that call. I liked that he was like, I think they were, well, yeah, I shouldn't assume. I don't want to be presumptuous. Well, like, my sister used to work at Domino's Pizza

in, like, 1993, and she came home, and she had a Domino's Pizza in, like, 1993. And she came home and she had a Domino's hat. And I loved it. I wore it when I was a little kid. And you'd walk around with your books in a pizza box. How old were you, though? I was, like, 12. Oh, I guess 12-year-olds could work.

At delivering pizza? Probably not. No, yeah, you could never see it so i wonder if we assume i mean but i i would never go to a domino's pizza in the hat for fear of of them giving you a pizza go deliver this yeah or like you know when you're you're running down the street well like, like, you would never go into a gang that wears the Crips

and wear a blue... The Crips or the Dominoes. You would never wear a blue bandana in a Crip neighborhood. Oh, wouldn't I? Well. I just have... Oh, man, if a little kid delivered your pizza and he had to run the whole way

to the sway, the pizza's all slanted in the box and he carried it under his arm. Maybe a bicycle? He could have a bicycle. Yeah, I guess so, but not this kid. Not the kid I'm picturing. This is a kid that was caught off guard. Did the era of the paper boy,

the kid riding a bicycle to deliver papers, did that ever overlap with the era of pizza delivery? Because I think pizza delivery is kind of new. With people throwing pizzas in the air. Well, like a kid on a bike. I think maybe in New York, pizza delivery people ride bikes. I'm sure it exists.

What, bike riding pizza guys? Yeah. Yeah, in China. It wasn't offensive until you laughed. I just, never mind. My head made three I couldn't explain it.

It was very Cirque du Soleil. It's very stupid. Anyways. If you want to get a job at domino's i think you can apply online i ordered a pizza online yesterday i've never ordered a pizza online before it's great

do you get to pick who delivers it? that'd be fun yeah i picked russian guy i would pick a kid with no bicycle just to see how it turns out sure um or senior senior on a scooter anybody anybody i picked a boy in a bubble forever but it was all right but you had to eat it with him like you had to get into the bubble. And then it took so long to get in there that you might as well just eat the pizza in there with him. And now you've got bubble disease.

Bubble disease. Bubblitis? Mr. Bubbles. Sure. Dave, do you want to wrap this one up with a big fat bow? Yeah, do you need me to do anything? Nope. Do you have anything that you need to plug?

No, I guess this is a while down the road. Well, we just said that tomorrow is St. Patrick's Day. But this episode will come out way after St. Patrick's Day. We're banking a bunch. Totally. Mega banks. Bank of America. Do you have anything you'd like to... World Bank. Swiss bank Totally. Mega banks. Bank of America. Do you have anything you'd like to... World Bank.

Swiss bank account. Banksy. We're all over a couple of banksies here. Remember? From before? This is not coming up for a while, so... Philip Banks. If you're in Toronto in May, you can catch me in the Combustion Festival.

What's the Combustion Festival? What's the Combo Fest? Combue Fest. It's an improv festival run by Julie Dume and Project Project. It's an improv group out there. And is it combustionfestival.ca? Is that where the name comes from? Yes.

Maybe. Just Google it. .ca? Yeah. It's something like that. Go to dominoes.com. Click apply. If you Just Google it..ca? Yeah. It's something like that. Go to dominoes.com. Click apply. If you want to apply.

Oh, also, I'm in a really fabulous project. Project. I have been so far. My friends are filming an action movie this summer. Oh, yeah. Oh, yes. Steel Viper Force? Steel Viper Force.

Fiero's Redemption. Nice. Starring said partier, Cam McLeod. And his crazy red wine shot. And his red wine shot. Kyle's McKay. Kyle's McKay. Who was from an old web series we shot called Mental Beast.

Right. It's that character. And I, so far, have been playing a drug addict named Blow Pop, who is addicted to a drug called life that you inject into your eyeball. And Aaron Reed plays my drug addict boyfriend. Nice. Aaron Reed is one of our white whales. Yeah, we can never get him because I don't think he has a phone or something He has a phone I have his number

He's got a fake Facebook account He has two fake Facebook accounts It's the worst So the Combustion Festival Your website? No? Do you have a website? I don't have a personal website

For your real estate business? I've changed my name to Grace Sunshine Do you have a website? I don't have a personal website. For your real estate business? I've changed my name to Grace Sunshine. Royal? That's where you'll find me with Royal LePage. And I say LePage because I have class. Sure. Yeah, you can find me online if you so choose.

Seek her out. Yeah. Thanks, Nogi. Yeah. And thanks, everybody, for listening. If you need any stock photos of a pizza boy. Bursting through the wall. I'll post them on the blog at StopPodcastingYourself.com. You look for episode 159.

Yeah. And click on the list of sponsors. And thank you so much for being our guest. You click on the list of sponsors. And thank you so much for being our guest. You were delightful. Not a worry. And everybody out

there who enjoyed the show, tell your friends and come on back next week for another enthralling episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself. Thank you.