Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 168 - Aaron Read

Episode Date: May 31, 2011

Aaron Read of The Sunday Service joins us to talk black mold, Mad Magazine, and wedding registries.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody, and welcome to episode number 168 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark, and with me as always is the Tuborg of podcasting, Mr. Dave Shumka. Yeah, the king of, no, the, what is Tuborg? Wasn't it the beer of Danish kings?

Sure, yeah. Or made by the appointment of the Danish king? Yeah, it's like Carlsberg Jr. The hamburger restaurant? No, no yeah carls jr berg jr no i think carlsberg and tuborg are made in the same factory that is probably pretty hoppy smell i say i think that but i've toured that factory have you really yeah in uh copenhagen nice that's not bad it's not a bad little afternoon trip. Did you get beers at the end? Yep. Fun. Too free.

How come at the end of a wax museum tour you don't get any free wax? You don't get a candle. There's a candle shaped like Angelina Jolie. And our guest today a, how should I say, a long sought after guest. We've been trying to get... One of our white whales.

Yeah. We've reeled trying to get. One of our white whales. Yeah. We've reeled him in finally. He's an art artist. Currently an art student. He is a musician. An art garfunkel. He is an art garfunkel. He is a very hilarious comedian that rounds out our full collection of having everybody

from the Hilarious Sunday Service here on the podcast mr aaron reed hello hi aaron how are you welcome thanks for being our guest thank you for having me yeah you were not an easy get no yeah me and sean devlin who was once in the sunday service as well yeah yeah absolutely i texted him to try and find your number and he refused he's that adamant about not doing it. He's very shy. He doesn't want to do it. He doesn't want you to do it.

He doesn't want to give me your number. I don't think he would even have my number. No. Now it's like Inception. The whole world is starting to topple. Now it will be only Sean Devlin standing all alone because everybody will have done it. Was that the plot of Inception? I don't know i think we

should get to know us okay get to know us uh aaron uh what's what's going on for you lately what's we were talking about making music yeah and uh about using was it real to real a real to real and we were talking uh before the show about black mold. Black mold. Yeah, you're moving into place with black mold. Rampage. Black mold. But I'm excited to move. I'm excited to... I'm living...

I've been living with my parents since I was born. That's a good place to start. So I'm excited to feel more like an adult. Well, you're only like 17, right? Yeah, yeah. No, no. I'm 22. Wow. Five years older than that. adult. Well, you're only like 17, right? Yeah, yeah. No, no, I'm 22. Wow. Five years older than that.

Yeah. Well, you know what? It's good that the first place that you're moving out into is a dump, because it'll really shock your system into getting stuff done. It'll really create the lowered expectations that drive great art. But I do live right next to my high school, which is awful, which I don't, which I would look forward to not having.

Do you see your... No, you currently live next to your old house. Do you see your old teachers and stuff? No. I bike past there and I see them teaching PE, but I keep my head down. And then what you don't realize is that the PE teacher is pointing at you and saying,

this is what happens when you don't keep a regular exercise regime. You ride a bicycle like that guy. With a backpack. Head down. Crying. But it's just sweat. I don't think, like, I've seen some of my old teachers out and about,

and I don't think they want to see me any more than I want to see them. No. Yeah. I don't, well, I mean, I don't live in town where I went to school ever, so I've never had the pleasure. But did you leave town the moment you graduated high school? No, I went to college for a couple of years, but then the second that was done, see you later, Snowtown.

I'm going to hitch a ride over to Black Moldville. So why are you moving into this place knowing in advance that there's black mold? Oh, it's just in the basement. Are you going to live in the basement? We don't even know if it's black mold. That's just what we've heard. What color is the mold?

Probably black. Now, this is a house situation you're moving into. And by that, I mean... No, Dave, give me a look. Are you going to do something about the situation? No, I was going to say by that I was going to do a thing about house. You're a guy who walks around with a cane.

House situation, yeah, but has great abs. Like, how's the show? Or how's the Japanese movie? How's the show? What's the Japanese movie? Tonight, I'm going to go watch it. Oh, really? 70 What's the Japanese movie? Yeah, that's the Japanese movie. I'm, tonight, I'm gonna go watch it. Oh, really? It's a 70s, like,

psychedelic horror movie. From Japan? About a scary house? Yeah, about, about, like, these girls go, these Japanese, they go on, like,

a trip to this house, but it's, like, crazy haunted. The director made it, like, after his, he talked to his niece, and she made up this crazy story,

and he made the movie. Oh, wow. It's supposed to be so fucked up. His niece is basically the story consultant. The director. It's like Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds was written after a picture that Julian Lennon had drawn. Is that right?

Yeah. Everyone thinks it's about drugs. LSD, yeah. No, is it really? Is that really where it started? Was it a drawing? Yeah. Everyone thinks it's about drugs. LSD, yeah. No, is it really? Is that really where it started? Was it a drawing? Yeah. And they're like, what's this drawing of?

Well, this is Lucy and she's in the sky. And these are diamonds. Or you drew it on my card deck, which is now useless. Stupid Julian. Who's the other one? Sean. Sean. He makes records. Oh, yeah. Well, one? Sean. Sean. He makes records.

Oh yeah. Well, he did. He did. He made one. Yeah. I actually had it for a while. Um, Into the Sun? Yeah.

They're very strange. It was on Grand Royal. Grand Royal? Yeah. Crown Royal. The Beastie Boys label? Yeah. He doesn't have a good voice.

No. No, but he's got a good look, because he looks kind of like John Lennon. Like vaguely. Like a half Asian John Lennon. Yeah. Which I think is a good voice. No. No, but he's got a good look, because he looks kind of like John Lennon. Like vaguely. Like a half-Asian John Lennon. Which I think is a good look. He looks like if John Lennon and Yoko Ono had a child. I wonder what that would sound like by the album. Julian Lennon made records, too. Yeah.

Did he? Yeah. And quite young, too, right? He made them in the 80s. But he's a different mother than Sean does yeah his mother was Roseanne cash Cynthia Lenna really Cynthia Lenna yeah nice yes do you do they not teach Beatles history in your high school no I was you know in high school it was all about the Beatles anthology mmm that was a big... That was a big... When they were going to release the new Beatles song,

it was all that was on anybody's lips. Free as a bird. It was all that was on anybody's lips until they heard the song, and then they went... It was pretty big for a while. What was the new song? It was called Free as a Bird. Yeah, it had some John Lennon solo recordings,

and then they got all the Beatles together, and they jammed over it They did a ragga over it Did you ever listen to that one Where Apple They just get a bunch of celebrities To sing Beatles songs Oh no

It is terrifying Sorry, I hit the microphone Was Jim Carrey one of them? Jim Carrey and Robin Williams do I Am The Walrus. The Walrus, yeah. And it is the most irritating thing ever recorded. Are they trying to out-irritate each other? It's like, they're like,

they just improvise for half an hour. They don't even do the song. It's just, they do it like they're characters. Like, it doesn't make, they don't try and sing it like, oh, Robin Williams is so awful. He's, he's the worst.

He stands out. I like him. Yeah. Not as a comedian, but as a singer. As a singer. I remember that was the only, Pamela Anderson did one.

Oh, did she? What did she do? So they didn't even bring like famous singers in. It was all, it was, George Martin was just like, he was drunk.

I believe. I think I remember, he was on some lucy in the sky i remember him giving an interview about it george martin the the beatles producer yeah uh he uh he gave an interview it was like his last hooray it was the last thing he was going to produce and he's like well I'm retiring because I'm going deaf. As good a reason as any. They looked good. They all looked really good. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

William Shatner did one. Oh, yeah. Did he do Lucy in the Sky? He did a cover of that at some point. He may have previously done that. Wow. I think he did the Beatles song Common People. That's right. Later covered by Pulp. The Pulp Tones. The, that's right. Later covered by

Pulp. The Pulp Tones. The Pulp Tones. Joey Pulp and the Pulp Tones. So, there's that. There's the Beatles. You're moving into a house with how many other... Three other dudes. Three other dudes.

So it's going to be a real socks on the stove. Are they already living there? Oh, yeah. Oh, okay. So you're going to be a real socks on the stove. Are they already living there? Oh, yeah. Oh, okay. So you're going to fill a spot. I'm the intruder. Oh, cool. Yeah.

And you get your own room or you sleep on the couch? Yeah, yeah. I get my own room. Sorry, this is the black mold room. That's the best way to move into a place, to be the last one in. Yeah. When you move, you can be the first one out. Yeah.

The last person staying there i think if there's a fire everyone's filth whoever moved in last gets to leave first if there's a fire yeah make sure you make that clear when you go i'll put it on the uh bulletin board that i imagine is not in the house don't say yeah isn't that how houses work with roommates meetings yeah yeah you're gonna have a lot of meetings. Have you had a look at the chore chart? Oh, no. It's a chore wheel. It's a wheel?

Yeah, they make it fun. Spinning for chores. But the chores aren't. It's like black, tending to the black mold. Feeding the black mold. He gets very angry. You feed it garbage. You have to go get other people's garbage.

Yeah, so you're excited for that. Are you bringing in all your worldly possessions? Yeah, what are you bringing to this house? Well, yeah, I'm getting rid of everything right now. I'm only bringing my records and clothes and stuff. There's already a bed there. But I'm leaving all my instruments in my parents' house. Yeah, it is a weird bed.

But it's a bigger bed than mine. Mine's a single. It's like a child's single. Race car. On the ground. Which I have spilt coffee. And then also it's right directly over the washer at my house. And the one time the washer overflowed.

So it is also a little green from mold. Okay, so it's on the ground, like no bed frame. No bed frame. But under the washer. Under the washer. But in a different so you it's on the ground like no bed frame no bed frame but under the wash under the washer but in a different room yeah on the washer's not on a shelf above we dug you a ditch under the washer yeah it'll be like your own place we dug a hole into the top floor and then put a mattress inside the hole you're gonna going to live here. So what are you moving up to?

A double king? Yeah, queen. Queen? Queen. Is it California? Is a California queen California king? I think it's a California king. And what's a California king? It's huge.

It's like the size of a room, right? Yeah. Why do you need that much room? I don't know. Rihanna wrote a whole song about it. Really? Did she? Yeah.

Oh, I don't know if she wrote it, but she sang about it. And in the video, the bed is huge. It's like six beds stuck together. That's awful. Yeah. No one needs that many beds. You need a lot of space when sleeping next to Rihanna. Yeah.

Sure, yeah. She's into S&M. So you get a new bed. Yeah. New old bed. Oh, yeah. Yeah. bed big bed you should flip it over see if there's like a somebody's been stuffing money in there yeah yeah or porno oh i can't wait which is the money of this house it's money for boners boners for boners they're like the birthers porn is? For boners. The Jason Pornmer identity? They're like the birthers.

Porn is currency for boners. Put that on a bumper sticker itself. That should be the tagline of, like, a porn magazine. Yeah. Or a website. I guess magazines aren't... What if you find a website under your bed? That'll be weird, right? Yeah.

Or just a domain that says, We're working on it. But the little construction guy has big boobs it's like a porn site for like funny dads like dads who aren't into like hardcore porn but they're also funny guys and yeah it's got like a little bit of porn and it's got yeah it's got a joke of the day too yeah it's got like weird, outrageous pictures and then porn. Yeah, and then a riddle. And one of those backwards jumbles with the cartooners. Yeah, it's a mad magazine.

It's a porn newspaper. It's a mad magazine crossed with like, I don't know, 1970s Playboys. Yeah, that sounds pretty good, actually. Why doesn't that exist? Mad magazine that I bought in Calgary when I went to go visit my second cousins, and it had a fold-out. It was a satire of Pamela Anderson,

but she had an overly gigantic breast because it was Mad magazines. Sure. But I remember climbing into the tree... Not to scale. ...at the party, and then showing all the other... My second cousins,

trying to impress them, and then other kids wanted to come up, but I said it was only for family. And then when I got home, I was so terrified by the photo that I ripped it into maybe 300 pieces and flushed it down the toilet. Because I thought my mom would find it. Was this in a Mad Magazine? What did you think your mom would think if she found a Mad Magazine?

This is a cracked family. Yeah, we're a crazy family. Even though that has been published for 10 years. I had this... I remember I had a video game magazine. And you know how magazines have perfume samples or cologne samples? This video game magazine had this sample of like, it was trying to be, it was like in a, I forget what the video game even was that it was advertising, but it was something gross, like something with mutants or whatever.

I don't know. It was the early 90s. And there was just like a scratch and sniff thing that was supposed to be the grossest smell ever. And it was. And I had to throw away the magazine. It made me sick to my stomach. You still bought the video game, though. Yeah, I did.

Fart. Crew. Fart demons. Fart crew. Mad Magazine. they advertise now it's really fallen far from its kind of former glory I see them at the supermarket and I go oh god

you're like I'm with my mom you start ripping up the Mad Magazine at the supermarket I remember Cracked Magazine was like a knock off was like a lesser version of mad magazine yeah but now it was the mad tv to saturday but now i think cracked has a website that's like a legitimate comedy website yeah yeah where they've put kind of like essays all the time

and uh short videos kind of like funny or die ish but more essay based essay so they reinvented themselves but isn't there supposed to be a mad there was another mad magazine thing that was going to happen like another new tv show or something like that like a spy versus spy two hour extravagance weekly extravagance the don martin sploink It's in CGI too Yeah It's like reboot They got the guys from reboot Yeah A lot of bullet time

So you're moving out soon That's exciting You're not bringing Any of your instruments with you Well yeah no Are you music parting ways? No no no I have to finish doing

The score for a movie A documentary now So I can't move everything I kind of have to keep doing the score for a movie, a documentary now. So I can't move everything. I kind of have to keep the same room for now. Sure. Just because I don't know why. So you'll be moving, but Mom and Dad are going to get plenty of Aaron visits. Oh, yeah.

Lots of FaceTime. Lots of me talking and lots of coming from the basement. Oh, right. Guitar noises. Yeah. This documentary is about... Is the washer? Yeah. The washer goes where aaron goes

the washer fall likes to be above him at all times what's the documentary about uh it's called hicks on sticks it's about uh this group of skaters who did a tour across canada okay they'd made like a skateboard yeah they well no they've had bands. But they made a board. Yeah, on their feet. But then they used skateboards. They built portable skate park that they could put on a trailer. And they went to like Prince George and Kamloops, places that don't have lots of skateboarding. Right. It's cool. So did they show up and then everybody was like, what's that?

We don't have skateboarding here. They didn't have TV either. Prince George just got TV Oh and congratulations to our Prince George listeners For getting TV So everyone just reacts Like the little girls in Back to the Future When Marty McFly Creates the first ever skateboard

Yeah that's what they did in town They went around to people's quads And scooters Ripped the scooters in half And stood on the quads like a skateboard. What are quads? Like an ATV, also called quads. Four-wheeler. Off-road.

You know, whatever you want to call it. Whatever your local nomenclature is, I'm cool. I'm easy. Forest destroyer. Small animal runner over. Annihilator. I'm sure there's one called that. I think for every extreme sport, there's something called the Annihilator.

And the Devastator. I don't know if there's that many Devastators. The Devastator has really lived up to his name today. Devastating. I think it's, yeah, it's Action Sports. They all have those. They all have names like that. And also, like, drinks come up.

When frat guys come up with a new drink. Yeah. That's right. You know what's weird is, maybe, because you went to proper university and you, like, lived at university. Was beer pong a thing when you were in university or is this a new no beer pong wasn't a thing i don't think people even did like quarters either really um there was the beer bongs the big funnel yeah that's fun that still still works uh i never i never partook in any of this by the way i didn't start drinking until after i left the dorms

uh and there was also there were a lot of drinking games in people's dorms, like card games or... If Phoebe says something funny, we all take a drink. Well, you'll end up so drunk. She's the funniest one. She's like the female Joey. They should have just called the, instead of making Joey, they should have made the spin-off, The Female Joey, starring Phoebe. Phoebe's character, Phoebe. Did you ever watch Joey?

I forgot about it until just now. Sorry. So sorry. Yeah, I watched it. Did the other friends come visit him in Hollywood ever? I don't think it got far enough into the show to have that. It was like half a season it would have been a little bit like he had just moved there and then like somebody's like

oh you've been here for three weeks i missed you so much and we'd just be like friends again you know what would be great is if they've just during sweeps Week they had all the friends come on Joey and then they did a clip show but it was of friends. Hey, remember that time? That central perk? But yeah, it was terrible. I watched it because the girl from The Sopranos was

his sister. Jamie Lynn. Oh, no, no. Drea DiMatteo? Yes. Yeah. And you know, it's kind of, it was like Ed the movie without the monkey. Ed, also a star. It was the zookeeper of its day. That looks good. Yeah, I know.

Rapping gorilla. Gorilla on roller coaster. Sassy lion. Have you seen the previews for Zookeeper? No. It's a new movie with Kevin James He's the king of queens He plays the king of queens in this movie

I love the king of queens theme song My eyes are getting weary My back is getting tight Sitting here in traffic On the Queensboro Bridge tonight But all I wanna do Sitting here in traffic on the Queensborough Bridge tonight. But all I want to do. I'm the king of Queens and I'm up in Queens.

My wife is Leah Romini and she is a real meanie. The dad from Seinfeld's in it. No, not Jerry's dad, George's In real life, he's Ben Stiller's dad I love how shows like that can Like with Charlie Sheen leaving They can just hire a new guy to play the character And it's like, this show is still the same It's so weird Like Roseanne's daughter they can just hire a new guy to play the character and it's like, this show is still the same. It's so weird.

Like Roseanne's daughter. Yeah, you can just keep changing how people look. Because people become once removed from the show, the show that they love, they're like, whoa, there's a different person on the show now. It's like the Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus. I never saw it. Oh, you gotta. It's a masterpiece. It's the two and ainarium of Dr. Parnassus. I never saw it. Oh, you gotta.

It's a masterpiece. It's the two and a half man of movies. Is Ashton Kutcher going to play the same character? I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. That would be really ridiculous. If they gave him black hair. They made him... They failed his money to have Ashton Kutcher on,

and then make him look exactly like Charlie Sheen And just overdub it with Charlie Sheen chips They chopped together old words They cataloged every word Charlie Sheen said In the show And they just overdub that Chop it up into

Hey brother They should have just made the the next season animated so that they could do that easily with like a charlie sheen voice alike yeah yeah and it's just all john cryer characters dream he slips into a coma at the beginning of the season and charlie sheen's character slowly through 26 episodes morphs into ashton kutcher then when he wakes up nobody's everybody's cool with it. Yeah. Wow, yeah. What was that show?

There used to be a Canadian TV show about a kid in a coma and he was like in a fantasy world. Do you know what I'm talking about? Yeah.

Like it was every episode, like he was in a very kind of Tolkien-esque. Was Alicia Cuthbert in it? Maybe. Was it Popular Mechanics for Kids? Yes.

I can't remember the name of the show, but it was the whole plot. Oh, My Secret Identity. Spray paint cans for flying. He had to use aerosol cans to control his flight. Really? In My Secret Identity. Because otherwise he would just float around, so he had to always have two spray cans with him to propel him in the right that was that was a canadian show right awful guy that's so bad for the world it was the 80s nobody cared

doctor his neighbor who was a scientist was named dr jeff coat jeff coat yeah it's like you know in the original script that they named him dr lab coat Are there any names that have coat in it? Or lab? Oh let's go with Jeffcoat Sure They were going to call him Jeff Labcoat Dr. Jeff Labcoat And then they shortened it to Dr. Jeffcoat

But there's one episode where you find out His first name is Lab Dr. Lab Jeffcoat Dave what's going episode where you find out his first name is Lab. Dr. Lab Jeffcoat. Dave, what's going on with you? Oh, man. What's shaking? Well, Aaron's moving out of his parents' house, so I'm moving in. Spare room.

Are you an only child at your house? No. Well, everyone's gone. I'm the last. Oh, you're the last to leave. Are you the baby? Yes. Well, I have one last to leave. Are you the baby? Yes. Well, I have one twin sister and then an older sister.

But the twin sister already... She left. Yeah. But I didn't go with her. That's not... Wait. Yeah, it works. Do you guys dress alike?

Yes, yes. Yeah, she's wearing a full- We both wear very androgynous. What's she thinking right now? I hate that. Are they identical? Are you identical? I'm being very unlikable

No no not that But like that whole theory I don't know I thought you were saying That you hated that you could always tell What she was thinking She would always be like Oh this is the cutest Backstreet Boys

Yeah She's in the bathroom right now Gross Exactly Reading a Backstreet Boys. Yeah. She's seven. Oh, she's in the bathroom right now. Gross. Exactly. Reading a Backstreet Boys fanzine. On her Kindle. Can you keep it down?

Are you identical twins? No, fraternal. Fraternal. You can't be identical. You're on a different gender. Guys, it's a lot of fun doing a podcast. What about Brandon and Brenda Walsh? Yeah, identical twins. Okay, what's going on with me?

Okay, well, last weekend, Abby and I went and did a weird thing that you have to do before you get married. Key party. We went to this key party. Apparently you have to do it in Abby's family church. Are you there? Raelians. We registered for gifts. Oh, right.

Yeah. And you go to a department store and they give you, right. Yeah. And you go to a department store and they give you a scanner. Sure. This weird electronic thing. And you go around to all the things you want and you scan them. That's bizarre. It is bizarre.

Especially because people nowadays live together for a while first. And so you have stuff. You have, like, what kind of stuff were you looking for? Because you seem to have most of the stuff. Yeah, we have most of it. We're basically, I guess, upgrading. Yeah, oh, sure, yeah.

The big thing I'm excited about is we decided on knives and forks, like a matching set of knives and forks. Ooh, yeah, very romantic. Because all the knives and forks that we have now, we stole from our university cafeteria oh yeah oh yeah so it is time for an upgrade yeah i have uh and they all bend and stuff like you scoop ice cream the spoons like i that was my when we were choosing out uh cutlery i was like, oh, this feels like I'm at a fancy restaurant. Yeah. Did you test it?

Yeah. Give me your most frozen ice cream. Where did you register at? Department store. Oh, okay. All right. I don't want our listeners to know, so they'll buy me gifts. Do I have to buy a gift, being that I'm an emcee of the wedding?

No, nobody has to buy a gift. Really? No, you do, don't you? Society demands it. Yeah, but I think it's like a... People want to give gifts at a wedding. Would you find it romantic if somebody got a tattoo that said Dave and Abby on their body somewhere? Would you count that as a gift?

Would I find it romantic? Not between the three of you, but just would you think that that would be something that would enhance your wedding day? That somebody's like, I got you guys' names tattooed on my body. Yeah, I would. Good. I'm glad you said that. Where on your body? Most of my

back. Goes across. Yeah, exactly. So, like, could you register for anything? Clothes and stuff? Yeah, you could register for anything in the whole store, which is weird. But when you sit down with the registering person, she's like, here are the floors with like,

here's where the good stuff is. Housewares and stuff. Like you can register for perfume if you want, but. Oh, white diamonds. Yeah. Rest in peace. Uh,

but yeah, so it's like, yeah, we don't really need anything, but, uh, it's like, Hey,

Hey, we're here anyway. I guess, you know, if someone wants to buy us a bread maker. Or things that you could have multiple, like sheets. You could probably do some sheets. We should have done sheets. Oh, you didn't do sheets?

What? I would have done sheets and towels. Well, here's the thing. If you ever get married, black mold remover will be your first new list. I don't think we did towels. That was on our list, but we didn't find any we liked. Fair enough. But with sheets, we have a smaller bed than we would like,

and so eventually we'd like to move up to a larger bed. I got one of those Rihanna California Kings. Like an Aaron Reid-style queen. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, get ready. With porn. Yeah, yeah, yeah. yeah porn embossments on it

we registered for a porn band um wow well that's really cool um did you buy did you register for anything that's like a thing that you would never use but is a fancy thing to have, like a serving tray or crystals. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We, no, nothing super fancy, but, like... Because crystals seems to be a thing that you get at your wedding, right? Yeah.

You get a crystal set. Sure. Of crystals for healing. We didn't. But we, like, the lady, 80 people are coming to the wedding, and the lady at the department store was like, so you should register for about 60 gifts, and we ended up registering for about 40.

And 10 of those were place settings. So then what are the other 40 to do? Are they just on their own winging it? A lot of people don't. A lot of people go off the registry. A lot of people will just give you a gift card. Oh, a gift card. That sounds good.

It feels kind of sleazy to make a list of things you want, but'll just give you a gift card. Oh, a gift card. That sounds good. It feels kind of sleazy to make a list of things you want, but I guess it's this traditional thing. Yeah. I didn't know that. It's part of the dowry. It's part of the trading of goods in exchange for wedded bliss. Isn't that how it goes? Yeah, exactly.

As I understand it. It's like I show you myself getting married And you give me a gift in return Yeah It's kind of sleazy right But all customs are kind of weird And sleazy when you break them down

Like Christmas is weird You gotta buy something for everybody It's insane Cutting the umbilical cord That seems a little barbaric That's why I never did Hello Dave's mom Cutting the umbilical cord? That seems a little barbaric. That's why I never did. Hello, Dave's mom.

I'm Ja Rule, Dave's mom. What it is? We were talking about Ja Rule before the episode. So that's basically it. I had something else i wanted to talk about regarding it oh i was thinking about you know in like uh uh 80s episodes of whatever like like sitcoms the joke bad gift would be uh a uh membership in the blank of the month club oh like the jelly of the month club or something? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't remember where that was from,

but I remember jelly of the month club. Jelly of the month club was from Christmas Vacation. Oh, right, right, yeah, yeah, yeah. And so I was kind of thinking that would be fun to get, like, you know, cupcakes every month to show up at your house. I had a friend who was enrolled, and I think it was similarly, like, somebody enrolled him in it,

and it was a, like, a smoked meat of the month thing. And it would show up in like a weird, I guess you have to have like this weird box that's wax lined on the inside. And he would get it. It would be expressed, delivered like the same day it was sent. And he would get it and it would be still warm. That's pretty great. But you got to completely change your lifestyle yeah you need so much meat yeah yeah oh yeah well i mean he was really like a year that comes every month yeah i mean it wasn't huge but it'd be like you'd get a brisket

from this famous yeah you know brisket uh house hut kevin's brisets. Kevin's James. King of briskets. I'll work on it. So, yeah. Would you ever want to belong to one of those clubs? Yeah. Yeah, I totally would. I like getting...

I have a subscription to a couple magazines, and I like getting that every month. So, why wouldn't I like getting something else? I guess it would be like a basket of magazines a month. Yeah. So heavy. Yeah, what would I want once a month that I think would be really cool? You know what? I would sign up for something that would be like a book, a book of the month club where they send you a new book every month.

Or some sort of weird fruit that they send you every month. Right? Like one month it's like a star fruit and then the next it's just one though yeah oh yeah yeah that's good like or like a small thing of like uh what are those really smelly ones leachies oh durians yeah durians yeah they send you a durian and then you have to move out of your house uh yeah just i for me it would have to be something disposable Like Kleenex

Kleenex of the month No, like something you eat I don't want to accumulate like 12 teddy bears a year Beanie babies Beanie baby of the month Acquiring 12 I got you 5 years in the

Teddy bear of the month club Now the last 4 years are all reruns of the first year. Have you ever been to a mall that has a place where you can make your own teddy bear? Build-A-Bear Workshop? Metrotown.

Have you been in one? Why would you go in one? I don't know. There's got to be somebody that goes in them. Dates. People go on dates. They're like, I'll buy you this. in one no why would you go in one i don't know there's got to be somebody that goes dates people go in on dates oh yeah they're like i'll buy you i'll buy you this i've run out of ideas and it's our first date i imagine it's terrifyingly expensive it's probably like 40 dollars yeah for yeah but like but you have to like do they have like it's like a gun or something that you put in there put the filling in right right right um do you get unlimited fixings from the bear fixings bar your bear is just covered in eyes

yeah is it like all you can fix it is it like a salad bar bear fixings like a buffet yeah and you get you get a sundae of some soft serve. My bear has eight top hats. But that's what people will do. It's like when you have a sundae buffet with whatever you want on it, people put everything on and they go, this is disgusting. But they're like... They dare their friends to eat it.

They're like, why couldn't I have controlled myself and made something nice? Yeah, I remember going to a dessert bar and like my friend made a sundae that had like four you know like fucking regular size brownies shoved into it i was like you couldn't even eat one of those by itself but you've made a brownie into a topping but yeah because like a sundae the the toppings add so much texture but there's like certain textures you just shouldn't add like gummy bears because they get all frozen and they're hard to eat starburst Oh, man, that's good. Graham. Yeah. You?

What's going on this week? A couple of things. I've started selling beard paintings again. Oh, I saw. The Ramones one. Yep. Cool. For the benefit of a comedian that you know.

I don't know if you've met him before. Ryan Lachance? Yeah, I read the Vancouver is Awesome one. He's a cerebral palsy. He's a paraplegic. He has a motored wheelchair and he wants to buy a backup wheelchair. The government used to pay for it. Now they don't. Thanks, government. You guys are the greatest.

I'm going to be selling. I've been working on those in a small shack studio that I rented, which Dave thought was hilarious when i told him last night that you you rent a studio to paint with your beard well you know i don't have a parent's house that has a digital but you didn't tell me it was a shack studio well it's a shack there i just say that because it's so huge he makes beard paintings yeah and it's ice is hot chin strap why is shack because he's like the most famous basketball player He makes beard paintings. And it's Icy Hot. Chin strap. Why is Shaq...

Because he's like the most famous basketball player, but he has the worst endorsements. He really does. Icy Hot seems like something that a long-time retired, like a Kareem Abdul-Jabbar would be doing. Or that real... The Foreman? Yeah, George Foreman. And his brand of shoes is the kind you can get at Payless for like five bucks. I respect that, though, that an athlete would give their name to an affordable type of shoe.

But I don't think he did that on purpose. He put them on there and then nobody wanted them. Yeah. He's not been great the last few years. No, no, but even early in his career. Well, but he's famous for being a giant. So what else could he have sold? No, but every team has a giant.

He's also very good at basketball. He's very good at basketball. That's true. He's funny, too. People like him. Well, he was on that show. Shaq versus oh yeah and he no what he was in a movie right well he was in a few movies yeah he was in steel he was in kazam kazam kazam kazam he was in blue chips blue chips with nick nolte uh he was also he he was in another one. He had a rap album.

Yep. Shaq Fu. Aaron Carter wrote a song about him. He had a video game. Yeah. Which was also called Shaq Fu. Yeah. A martial art named after him.

Yeah. Pay Less Shoes. He's done all right. Icy Hot. Oh, he's done all right. I've seen his MTV crib. Yeah. He was in,

he did a freestyle at a club about oh yeah kobe about kobe oh when the controversy was going on kobe tell me how my ass tastes yelled it yelled it out in the crowd wow that's the rap chorus yeah sheck's not afraid of a little controversy he's not afraid of anything he's enormous yeah. Yeah, he is. He's a giant man. So there's that. And also, here's the thing, and I think this happened in Montreal as well during the playoffs where in the finals, the Stanley Cup, Vancouver.

This is huge. Yeah, first time since 1994 when Naughty by Nature were still naming the years. Why do we put them in charge of that? Because they did the same thing for 10 years. For 10 years. Yeah.

By 1999. They were Shaq when 2000 rolled around. Yeah. And they were out of a job. Too naughty. Didn't make sense. But this has happened. It's happened a couple times in a couple different ways.

It happened here in Vancouver when Vancouver were playing the San Jose Sharks. A bar in town called the Shark Club changed their name to the Canuck Club as a show of support. And so Boston Pizza, when Montreal was playing Boston, changed their name to Montreal Pizza and have now changed their name to Vancouver pizza. And the problem I have with this is that I don't want our city to be affiliated with their shitty pizza. This is true. You know what I mean? Yeah. Uh, cause like Boston pizza for, you know, I know we've talked about it numerous times on the podcast. For people who don't know It's this Canadian pizza chain That for some reason thinks The pizza of Boston is iconic

Yeah Also because they put Boston baked beans on every pizza That's not true You don't need to go into Joke territory The true is enough Their spokesperson Spokespeople in the past have been Howie Mandel.

Yeah. John Ratzenberger. John Ratzenberger, yeah. That's about it. Yeah. And also, they built like a sports bar-esque kind of environment. They're the ones that do the... Do they not?

Aren't they the ones that do the heart-shaped pizza? Yeah. I think a few places do that. But then in in hanukkah they do a star of david pizza which is four more slices than the regular yeah it's it's uh it extends good value there's also the owner the guy who founded it is one of the four panel members on a show called Dragon's Den. Oh, really? Which in America is called Shark Tank. Oh.

They changed it for America? Yeah. Originally it was a Japanese show and it's been sold all over the world in different names. It's exactly the same format. But because in Canada we have so many dragons. And Dems. So, yeah, they've called themselves Vancouver Pizza now. You know, Vancouver's got some good pizza going for it.

It's going to be terrible when people go from our town, like, where can I get some good Vancouver pizza? And they go to Vancouver Pizza and they're like, this is awful. Yeah, and they're like, wait a minute. Why did it? It seems like there's a line through the sign here. It seems like somebody has graffitoed this pizza establishment. Now, you're the Dragon's Den. I was just thinking about this.

Yeah. You're in your parents' house. Is there a room that they call the den? My parents' house? No. a room that they call the den? My parents' house No No, mine neither We moved when I was about 11, but our earlier house we had a den And you were raised to that point by wolves

Yeah So that's why But then in our new house, we have one room that my parents just refer to as the conservatory Actually? We have one room that my parents just refer to as the conservatory. Actually, they keep a lot of butterflies in there. Because there's the living room. What's the difference between a living room and a TV room? The TV?

The TV, yeah. We had a TV room when I was a kid. Some people's living rooms have TVs. Yeah. Mine in my house does. Yeah, what kind of living living without tv is living and just go ahead and shoot me in the throat um yeah i think uh tv room we had tv room and then we had a living room and then we had like an area that was kind of it wasn't really a, but it was an offshoot of the living room where there was a dining table that we never ate at except Christmas.

And then we would just always eat. We should have just called it the Christmas room. We should have put red and green wallpaper up. You're not allowed to go in there if it's not Christmas. Yeah. And then we just, Everybody always ate in the kitchen Right? Yeah

We would have Sunday dinner in the dining room Oh really? And Christmas dinner in the dining room That's very fancy Did you dress nice for it? No No Sunday dinner

Sunday dinner seems like When you say it It sounds like something you would dress up nice It's just a day of the week And a meal you eat every day Yeah that's true But there's not Nothing sounds fancy about Saturday dinner

Saturday dinner sounds like we're all going to head out to Vancouver Pizza And get unlimited Dr. Peppers Do they have that? I think they have unlimited pop Yeah non-stop pop Now here's another thing While we're on the topic of vancouver pizza they they have a sign and they have a campaign right now about their chicken wings

where they have an actor who's pretending to be a chicken wing judge talk about how good the wings are but then they've got a sign out in front of the restaurant that says they're the 2011 winner of the crystal wingy award is that's gonna be how much of this is real yeah i think that's all fake there's no such thing as a crystal wingy award yeah there are guys let's get an entry in next year uh wings aren't hard to perfect no yeah no, you can't do much about it and how it comes. You can't go over it. You can't go around it. You can't remake it. You've got to go through it.

You just put stuff on top of it. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. So I don't know. But anyways, I think that's all fake. They made up an awards thing, which is great, because it's like the first annual Montgomery Burns Award for Outstanding Achievement. Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Excellence. Yeah, exactly.

It's the same thing, the crystal wingies. Anyways, what I want to say is support Vancouver Pizza in the upcoming hockey election. That's what we call our playoffs up here, hockey elections. Well, do we want to move on to the Overherds? Yeah, okay. Overherards. A segment wherein our guest usually

leads the charge of overhearing things in everyday life. Your lineups, your bus stops, your crowded trains, your all-night drink-a-thons, etc., etc. And we like to go round the horn. We like to go guest, then Dave, then myself.

Then we've got guests, not guests, a listener sent in over hers. It's going to be great. So let's start out. Do you want to start out? Are you ready? Yeah, I was trying to remember. I don't really hear things, I guess,

because I couldn't remember. But there was one, I was getting a hot dog down by the beach. Yeah. Beach hot dog is pretty good. All hot dogs are pretty good. But having a hot dog at the beach seems like that's one of the top. It was very windy and cold that day. And a lot of sand possibility.

But I got my hot dog, and I was was behind this guy and he was with his friend. And this guy was kind of like a sporty, like maybe like hip hop, like fit dude. But anyways. Popping the collar maybe? A little bit. He had a tank top. Windy day. Trying to keep us all warm.

Popping the tank top. He had a collar on his tank top. What a douchebag and anyways he was his friend and when they were they ordered their hot dog and while he was waiting

for the hot dog he was just like regaling his friend about all of the condiments that were there but in this way he was like the only way I can do it

is an impression he was basically like oh man check it you got hot peppers you got hot peppers, you got hot sauce, three kinds of mustard, Dijon hot,

regular mustard. And his friend was like, looking at him like, he was from, his friend was clearly from Vancouver. His friend was like, what? I know what these things are.

The whole day is going to be like, this isn't it, where you're showing me your palace of Vancouver that I know everything about he's working on a new he's workshopping a new character and then he was like talking to the hot dog guy and he was like yeah hey oh man that guy makes best hot dog in vancouver man i used to come down here and give you a nasty nasty spurts or whatever like he was doing a promotion in the

summer and he would give him free nesties the hot dog guy had no idea what he was talking about. He's like, oh, yes, of course. It's delicious. Yes, please. Please pay for hot dogs. Please leave. Please do not make fun of hot dogs. I don't like it when there's too many mustards.

That's a high-pressure decision. Yeah, that's three. How is this mustard going to play with the ketchup yeah and the hot mustard then can you put other hot things on it yeah how hot if you put a barbecue sauce on that tends to overwhelm all the condiments

barbecue sauce is weird yeah it's like one of the rare things that you cook with and also people just eat it like straight up is there anything else like that also people just eat it like straight up you know what is there anything else like that that we're like you just put it on top straight up when do people have a when they put it on something like you that's not eating it straight up though well it's a

condiment all of a sudden you know what i mean like nobody cooks with uh do you cook with mustard no because you do really yeah what do you cook with mustard oh Oh, you could make a sauce. You could put it in. Tell me more about the sauce. All right. But do it like the guy that was at the hot dog thing. Okay, you get a little bit of butter and some garlic, and you melt the butter with the garlic, and then you put in some chicken stock and some Dijon mustard.

You drop off some parsley. Oh, man, we make the best parsley in Vancouver. I can just imagine him, too, doing that everywhere, like at the library. Oh, adult nonfiction. Nonfiction teen section over there. We got it all. DVDs, VHS. Like, I know what's at a fucking library.

You return. Shut up. This is where you return the books. Yeah. This lady's really nice. She knows the internet password. Bathrooms. This is where the hobos like to take their peas

and watch bed bugs. Dave, do you have an overheard? Yeah. I was on a bus and there were these two... I'm on a bus. Yeah. I'll take that again. I'm on a bus. Yeah. I'll take that again. I was on a bus, and it was a really crowded bus, and there were these two young ladies, my age.

You know, I'm young. It's, you know, the old story. Yeah, you're in the prime of life. And they were... It was a super full bus, and they were talking so loud. They weren't sitting next to each other. They were sitting, like sitting across from each other. Not even that close.

Across from each other, and then a bit of a ways away. So they had to talk across three different people. Cross talk. One of them was me. One of them was like, oh, I'm so lost. Where are we right now? The other one went, oh, I know where we are. My storage is just over there.

What do you have storage for? For the summer. No, I mean, like, what do you keep in your storage? Oh, all kinds of stuff. Like the missing arm for my sunglasses. Sunglasses. Hold on a second. My sunglasses fell off again.

For instance. That's terrible. That's her way of trying to tell her friend subtly that she's a hoarder and needs help. I rent a unit to put my broken sunglass arms in. Some of your

garbage that you left in my house. I knew they were going to be worth my time of listening to because as soon as I got on, I heard them talking and one of them said, oh, I rode this bus with my cousin and he

put his bike on the front of the bus. There are bike racks for people who don cousin, and he put his bike on the front of the bus. There are bike racks for people who don't know. He put his bike on the front of the bus, and I warned him, like, you got to keep your eye on that, because people will steal your bike in this town. And not two seconds later, someone harsh stole his bike. Oh, harsh. We really harshed our collective mellow. I like using harsh as an adverb. Ah, man, he harsh stole that thing.

How did he steal it again, man? Harsh. Harshly? No. Harsh. He pulled really hard on the retractable. It made a really loud noise. Harsh.

I, like, the thing about, you ride a bike. Yeah. Yeah. I would be, there thing about, you ride a bike. Yeah. Yeah. I would be, there's so much about riding a bike that scares me. Like, not, not just, it's mostly like the social conventions of riding a bike. Like, I don't know how fast I should be going. And I don't know, like, I don't know how to work one of those bike racks. The hand signals, do you know?

Yeah, I know that. But I'm just afraid of looking dumb. Yeah, I think a lot of people look... They kind of look dumb on bikes, right? There's a lot of people who kind of look dumb on bikes. Yeah, cars are cool. Bikes are dumb. Yeah, but bikes are great. Oh, yeah.

Bikes are amazing. But there's a lot of people that you can clearly see they don't know what they're doing on a bike. They're pedaling super fast on a flat surface and don't how to work the gears when i was biking over here this was this is one problem that i come across a lot when i'm biking is you're biking behind someone and maybe they are like um i i was biking behind this woman and i and uh we were both going at the same pace kind of i was like a couple feet behind her. But she recognized that I was there. And then I didn't want to go any faster because I was tired.

But then I also didn't want her to think that I was looking at her butt the whole time or something. Or that I was being a creep. Right. Smelling her butt would have been even worse. Tell me how my butt tastes. So she said. She licked it to me. So I didn't know what to do.

So I had to accelerate ahead of her because I felt so bad about that. She probably thought that I was being some major creep. And then I was like insanely tired and it was just at this hill and then she caught up to me. Yeah, that is the thing. If you pass someone, you have to be pretty sure they're never going to pass you. Yeah. Oh, yeah. That seems like that would be the worst.

What was she thinking when she passed you? Probably. Enjoy the view. Ass was she thinking when she passed you? Probably. Enjoy the view. Asshole. Pervert. No, I didn't. Or maybe nothing, and I was just like, sorry. Or maybe.

You just threw your bike at her. Maybe when you pass her, she's like, oh, look at that guy's butt. His gangly ass. Oh, I don't want to be behind him anymore. I'm going to pass him. His gangly ass. Look at all guy's butt. His gangly ass. Oh, I don't want to be behind him anymore. I'm going to pass him. His gangly ass. Look at all the gangles. Look at all the harsh gangles.

He's got a lot of loose gangles on his ass. They're harsh loose. Graham. Yeah. You are. Oh, before we do your overheard, we should mention, we should tease this. Oh, tease it. That someone wrote in a few episodes ago.

I think it was the episode, the most recent one where we didn someone wrote in a few episodes ago i think it was the episode the most recent one where we didn't have a guest yes yeah it's just you and i i my overheard was about this guy beatboxing on the street yeah that's right yeah and then we started fake beatboxing yeah i was doing an impression of the guy who beatboxes on the street who goes boom boom wobble wobble and uh uh we told people to remix it, and one guy did remix it. Yeah, because I started going, Rick, Rick, record, Rick, Rick, Rolodex. And then he turned it into a big dance music celebration. Yeah, yeah.

His name's Ian J. Yeah, Ian J. He goes by Shaky Snakes. So stick around at the end of the episode for Shaky Snakes remix of our awesome beatbox experience. Totally. Now, Graham, do you have an overheard? I do. And it also comes courtesy of a bus ride.

And knowing that these two gentlemen that I was, I got stuck in a traffic jam on the bus, which hasn't happened for a long time. But it is the worst. Like, it is the worst. Like, it is so claustrophobic, and you're not moving, and it gets hot. It just, it gets exponentially more hot the longer you stand there, and these guys, two young guys of the very well-put-together hipster variety, you know, like a fitted... Tweed. Yeah, a fitted tweed vest and a yeah like very well manicured uh facial hairs and stuff and uh they were talking to each other and uh just the

most the the thing was is that they thought they were uh you know the great gatsby the way they were talking like they were just so wonderful at talking sure Sure, on the bus. But they were just beyond boring. But you could tell the way that they were talking that they thought it was, oh, you know, this is really the salons of... Yes, this is the modern equivalent. And at one point the guy said, you know, I find that the two of us can talk really fast because we're very efficient in the way that we conversationalize. We should have a podcast. Yeah, absolutely. About talking.

Yeah, fast talkers. About how good talking is. Fast conversationalizers. Instead of just saying, by the way, we talk. Yeah, we really have an efficient use of letter compounds. Yeah. It was something else, those guys. They're fancier than their lot in life should be allowed to be.

No, I like fancy people. Yeah, no, I'm fine with them. But I feel like if you're not driving some sort of buggy car uh no i like i like a lot of eccentricity oh do you well as long as i don't have to i thought you hated the eccentrics no i want people to just live their lives be who they are but you know i like i don't want to live with you i want i want to see you for five seconds yeah and then make fun of you to my friends jauntyty in the city. See, you know, I just spent 40 minutes on the bus with these guys. So it wasn't that kind of like, oh, what a delightful jacket that guy is wearing.

I had to get to know that they both work at a shoe store and et cetera, et cetera. It's weird when people talk the way that they dress too. Well, I guess, I don't know, like when you dress jaunty and then you also talk jaunty. Yeah. Yeah. They say hither and dither a lot. They talk about like like, owls. Time pieces.

Owls! Like the Owl Museum or something. The Audubon Society. Do you know how a group of crows is called a murder of crows? Yeah, that's scary. Do you know what a group of owls is called? A gahool. What is it, really?

It's a parliament. No, it isn't. A parliament of owls. Yes, it's true. Wow. Yeah. Well, that gives me a good idea. That's giving me a really good visual in my head.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's a great idea for a sketch. Coming up after the remix beatbox. idea for a sketch coming up after the remix beatbox um we also have overheards that are sent in by our uh loyal and wonderful bumpers all across this great country of ours and america and australia and europe and eurasia the ottomans sure yeah eurasia east asia Eurasia, East Asia, Oceania, Pacific.

And the first one comes from Bart M. I went to the Dallas Comic Con this weekend. Lots of people come dressed up as various characters from comics, TV shows, and movies, and people are always taking their pictures. At one point, I passed a couple where the guy was dressed like a Jack Nicholson Joker, and the lady was dressed like Harley Quinn. Tons of people were taking their pictures as they posed together,

because they looked really authentic. And at one point, the Joker said, you guys know you need to pay me to get my picture right, because the Joker's got to get paid, son. So he thought he was cool as well. Yeah. This town needs an anima. Yeah, have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight, etc.

I love it in that movie when he goes to the museum and plays that awesome rap song and spray paints, like the museum. Party Man, isn't it? Yeah, by Prince. I don't think it's a rap song oh it's not new king rock the party like nobody rules and regulations no place in this nation oh man that was the first Oh, man. First CD I ever owned. Really? Yeah. Nice. The Batman soundtrack.

Yeah. Now, do you think, because San Diego Comic-Con is like the main big Comic-Con, do you think as the Comic-Cons get more and more, you know... Localized, smaller? Yeah. Do you think the costumes go down in quality? I wonder if... This is only a theory. I bet you that there's some homemade costumes

in those smaller centers of people who put a shit ton of effort into it, and they're not going to miss any opportunity to show it off. So I bet you're going to get a range of people who are amazing all the way down to guys wearing a brown bathroom to be Obi-Wan Kenobi. We're never going to make it to San Diego.

This is our cotillion. Boba Fett. The next one comes from Molly in Iowa, USA. Ooh, Iowa City, Iowa. holly in iowa usa oh iowa city iowa now uh she has a couple different parts to this but uh this first part isn't so much of uh of an overheard this is just an overseen and she sent in a picture with it and i i felt we'd be doing our listeners a disservice if i didn't mention that this thing exists uh a few months ago an obviously tipsy couple came into the store i work at i don't know what they were looking for initially but but they ended up spending about $70 on sunglasses, incense, and a camouflage visor with blonde spiky hair attached to it.

And it looks like Guy Fieri when you wear it. And they've attached a picture of somebody without it and with it, and it's the greatest. Guy Fieri. And this, anyways, they were clearly... Is it intended on being a Guy Fieri one, do you know? There's no way that it's not. But is it licensed by Guy Fieri? Oh, no.

Or is it like... Like a Dress Like Me Halloween costume? Or is it like... Is it labeled Generic Douchebag? Yeah, it's probably Generic Douche... But at the Halloween store, they probably have a Guy Fieri approved one that has that and then a shirt with a dragon shooting fire on Spider-Man, like a silk shirt. And a flip-flop that you eat off of.

Yeah, and it's a barbecue sauce that you smear on your face, on your gross beard. Yeah, he's the best. on your gross beard. Yeah, he's the best. But, so, anyways, they were clearly a little drunk and mentioned how they weren't ashamed to go out for drinks at 10 a.m. They said a bunch of other worthless stuff that I can't remember, but the best part, when the girl randomly said, oh, my God, did you hearck and mackenzie got engaged last

night to which the guy replied what the fuck are you serious he immediately called brock and yelled over the phone dude chad you and maddie are engaged you fucking fag long pause dude let me be your best man. Why hasn't anyone tried to be my best man? Do you have a... Yeah, it's going to be my brother, I guess. If you have a brother, doesn't that automatically... Yeah. Too bad about Brock's brother. Killed in that fire.

Was that three? Does that count as three? That was all part of the same one. But she mentioned the guy Fieri had. The first one was the Joker. Okay. Sorry, just checking. Joker's gotta get paid, son. Well, the thing about the Joker...

Wild. The Joker is wild. This one comes from Matthew R. And he lives right here in the great city of Vancouver. Oh, I think I work beneath him. Is he a washing machine? Yes. He's the washing machine to your green mattress.

This is a real estate agent walking around Vancouver's Athlete's Village, which was built for the Olympics, with rich-looking would-be buyers. My family rents there. The group passes my kids and wife playing on the grass in front of our home. And the agent says, as you can see, there's some social housing here for the poor, too. Oh, my God. Ouch. What? Yeah.

They were all, you know, they were going to a Halloween party all dressed like hobos. Yeah, sure. Or a big truck just came and splashed a big mud puddle over all of us. Sure. Yeah. Some people are so insane. Oh, God. That's awful.

The Jode family. Now, in addition to overheards, which people write to us at stoppodcastingyourselfatgmail.com. Hey, thanks, Gmail. Yeah. Some people phone us with overheards at 206-339-8328. Maybe that family had just gone and got all Guy Fieri. Yeah. As you can tell, dirtbags live around here.

His official kit would probably also have, like, a fake rib or something that you can chew on for photos. Like, a squeaky rib, like you give to a dog. Or a tiny book of, like, pictures of food. To masturbate to. In the car. For those long drives. Where you're dressed like Guy Fieri.

You jerk off to a cheesecake. To a macaroni. To an eight pound macaroni salad. I like it when you can tell he doesn't, he thinks something is okay but not very good. Because they always cut it short. He's like, no, it's good brisket. And they just cut it. He's not like, fuck.

Oh, yeah, yeah. That way he doesn't make love to it. Oh, the jus is just right on my tongue. Does he say jus a lot? I don't know, jus? Is that a thing? I think it's how, yeah, there's a... I don't know what he does.

The jus, the jus. People don't really know how to pronounce it. But people do say, oh, jus, yeah. Like steak-o-jizz. Yeah. God bless us, everyone. Phone calls. Hey, stop podcasting yourself.

This is Everett in Vancouver. This is an overseen. I was in a parking lot today and saw a van with the bumper sticker, TGIF. This grandma is fantastic. Oh, yes! Oh, man, I never would have, yeah, this grandma is fantastic oh man i never would have uh yeah this grandma is fantastic i'm gonna say that uh you know how it's fun when you're around uh old ladies and you do nope okay well no but like say you're at a wedding right and uh you'd say like old ladies are really fun to flirt with they love flirting in an old timey style where you go like oh and this must be your sister they love shit like that yeah they would love uh

oh man tgif over here i this grandma's fantastic i think she's a grandma they see right through me when i do that when they're like oh is this is this your sister no it's my daughter. Oh, she looks terrible. She looks like your sister. This gilf is a TGIF. This gilf is a TGIF. I don't know. Say the sentence. This grandmother I'd like to fudge with. Is this grandmother is fantastic.

See? Yeah, it works. See how ashamed you should feel? TGIF. This one is from local comedian Andy Kallstrom. Andy Kallstrom. Kallstrom. Killstorm, I call him.

Andy Killstorm. And he, the other day, I was going into a drugstore, and there was a promotion outside, and there was a bunch of people standing outside offering things. I was all business. No pleasure. And he was one of the people, but I didn't notice it. You'll hear. Hello, Dave and Graham and probable guest.

It is Andy Kallstrom calling from Vancouver with an overheard or possibly even a meta overheard. Today, as a favor to a friend of mine, I dressed up as a giant bee outside of the drugstore she works at, and I was dancing around, doing bee stuff, and who should walk by but Mr. Dave Shumka. And I can only say, Dave, you looked very uncomfortable

with the possibility of having to interact with a bee, and I respected that and left you alone. But I was inspired to start doing what I thought was Shumka dancing, and I respected that and left you alone. But I was inspired to start doing what I thought was shumka dancing. So I was doing this shumka dance dressed as a giant bee,

and a man who I think was homeless walked up to me laughing hysterically and said, that bee is changing my life. What was he trying to sell with this bee costume? I don't know. It was like he was a promotional bee for honey.

Yeah, for honey. Or for some sort of EpiPen for people who are allergic to bee sticks. Yeah. We got him here. I'm a giant bee. I love that he said that I didn't want to interact with a bee. And he respected that. Is that correct?

Well, of course it was correct. But he had no choice but to respect it. Otherwise, he would be chasing me down. Oh, I would love to see that. You being chased by a giant bee. I would love to see it. Yeah, right? Come on, bees.

Have a little more stick-to-itiveness. Like, you know, like your honey. Stick-to-it. TGIF. All right, one more. Thank God it's grandma's foot. Hey, Dave and Graham and possible guest. It's Andrew calling from Montreal with an overseen and an overheard.

The overseen is of the Clarkian variety, which is to say it's some bathroom graffiti, an exchange of graffiti. This was in a cafe just off campus of the University of Alberta in Edmonton, and someone had written something not uncommon to see when you have a concentration of young liberal arts students. In big block letters above the urinal, someone had written, Read Chomsky.

And beneath that, someone had rebutted, Eat Bumpsky. Yes! Pretty good. Well done. Well well done graffitos yeah you're all a bunch of banksies in my book you banksies of new england you kings of rhode island uh if you want to be somebody who calls in An overheard Or if you're drunk In the middle of the night And you need somebody to call And you don't want to call that ex of yours

Put our number in your phone It's 206-339-8328 We've been getting a lot of drunk dials In which the person later calls back And says please don't play that call That's the problem with drunk dials Or they the person later calls back and says please don't play that call yeah that's the problem with drunk dials

or they sober up by the end of the call and they're like don't play this and of course we will because that's not legally binding

and yeah if you want to write in stoppodcastyourself at gmail.com now Aaron yeah people want to learn more about you

do they if yeah you didn't say if Stop podcasting yourself at gmail.com. Now, Aaron. Yeah. People want to learn more about you. Do they? If. Yeah, you didn't say if. Maybe I said the if too low. No, you didn't say it at all. I'm sorry. No, I do. I believe that people want to know more about you.

Suppose people want to know more about you. Suppose. In an imaginary world. Yeah. Where online would they go to find out more about Air Raid? You're part of the Sunday service. Yes, yes. And they put out a monthly podcast called The Beautiful Podcast.

Yes, exactly. I was told to plug this. I'm glad. I am aiding and abetting this. No, I wasn't told. I was reminded. Yeah, Beautiful Podcast. It's on iTunes. I was reminded. Yeah, Beautiful Podcast. It's on iTunes.

You can probably search it. Beautiful Cock Pod. God Pass. God Pass. Cock Pass? Cock. Beautiful Cock Mess. I'm in a sketch group called the Cock Masters.

Just search for Sunday Service, and it's the one that's not the church one. Yeah, exactly. And, yeah, the new episode I think is going to be good. Steve Bays is going to be doing some music stuff. Nice. Past, past, past. Yeah, it should be very funny. But, yeah, that's pretty much it.

I'm not on the internet much, except for things that I can't delete. I tried to delete that CBC thing, but... You have a song currently on CBC Radio 3. You can delete it. I can delete it for you. Yeah? Do you want me to do that for you? Yeah.

I like this. Right, because you were on the CBC website. Yeah. You're like an admin. Admin. I am an admin. Admin, yeah. Can you banish me?

Do you want that? Yes, please. Okay. You heard it here first. Thank you. So, yeah. The sundayservice.ca yeah and

I'm not in I'm not on the website but you're you are a regular part of the sundayservice yeah I wasn't a regular when they made the website so

and if anybody who lives in Vancouver the surrounding area has never been to the sundayservice do yourself a favor and check it out every Sunday night at the Hennessy.

It's been fun. Which is Broadway and Manitoba. And Dave, anything to plug? You're working it on CBC Radio 3. Yeah, download the R330 every week. That's a podcast that I host

for the summer. The top 30 independent Canadian music hits. It's good. I've been listening to Dave. He does the Shumka Chunk sometimes when you've got to fill in. It's great. And also, we will be at MaxFunCon. That is correct.

In June in beautiful Lake Arrowhead, California. Yes. And if anyone is going to be there, we're going to be recording a bunch of episodes earlier that week, so we're going to be all out of overheard, so we think we're going to do audience overheards. Yeah, so bring your overheards,

and it'll be a real group participation. It'll be fun. It'll be really fun. I love fun. Also, if you're new to the podcast, every week Dave posts a blog recap at MaximumFun.org that has, you know, elements, photos or videos that correspond to things that we've talked about during the podcast. You'll probably get to see the Guy Fieri hat.

Yeah, you'll see the Guy Fieri hat. You'll probably hear Shaq rapping about Kobe. Oh, yeah. On the TMZ. Yeah, sure. On the TMZ. Probably just a TMZ GIF. Well, I think we probably want to hear the audio.

Is it GIF or GIF? I always say GIF. I think it's GIF. It's probably GIF. Because Gifford is how I think of it. Kathy with Gifford. It's Juz and it's GIF. I think it's GIF. It's probably GIF. Because Gifford is how I think of it. Kathy with Gifford. It's Juz and it's GIF. Yeah.

Not Jizz and Jif. Jizz and Jif, though. It was Kobe's Rat Band. Rat Band? Yeah. He played Jizz. He played him. He played Jizz.

Oh, brother. Graham, do you need to plug anything? Yeah. Like I said before, I'm selling them beard paintings online to aid and abed a friend of mine. I don't think you're aiding and abetting him. Isn't that a crime?

It's a crime of fashion. So I'm doing that. There will be a link. I'll put a link on MaximumFun.org or you just go to eBay and type in beard paintings. First thing that pops up. And yeah, I think that's it. Also,

if you're listening to this, Hannibal Buress is going to be in town on June 14th in Vancouver. Myself, Dave, and Charlie Demers, all on that show. Should be fantastic. And as we promised earlier, we're going to round out the show with an awesome remix

sent to us by Shaky Snakes. Is that correct? Did I say that? Is that the right name? Or was it Sneaky Shakes? Yeah. Shaky Snakes. It was Shaky Snakes.

No, it was Shaky Snakes. Shaky Snakes. Thanks, everybody, for listening. Come back next week for another awesome episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself. Shaky Snakes. next week for another awesome episode of stop podcasting yourself shaky snakes boom Oh, record, record. I'm going to tell you another record. Record, record. Record, record, record.

R-r-r-rolodex. R-r-r-rolodex. Here it's Grinch. Record, record, record. Uh, record, record. Here it's Grinch. Record, record, record. Um, record, record. Um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, Rolodex. Rolodex.

Rolodex Rolodex Rolodex Rolodex Rolodex Rolodex Rolodex Rolodex. Rolodex. Rolodex.

Rolodex.