Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 175 - Paul Bae

Episode Date: July 19, 2011

Comedian Paul Bae returns after many years to talk about the splits, goths, and Netflix. Then we play a round of Celebrity Crush Hat.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 175 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who is loving this rainy summer we have here in Vancouver, Mr. Dave Shumka. Yeah, it's a cruel summer leaving me here on my own. It's a real bummer summer some people are saying.

Yeah, but not for us, not for Judy Moody. Yeah, yes, i'm loving every second of this not hot summer oh man although it's like it's a little too hot there's no sun but uh still muggy yeah we have to have a fan on in the room yeah our only fan 175 that's like a big number isn't it i feel like it's every um multiple of five and certainly every multiple of 25 is is there's probably some kind kind of traditional gift you give to a couple on their 175th anniversary. Oh, yeah. Space crystals. Yeah.

And our guest is a returning guest. A long time ago, you were on the podcast. Episode 23, I think. Wow. My goodness. Too long. They didn too long podcast back then oh yeah so it was on a wax cylinder yeah this wasn't being put out to anybody it was just for our own amusement uh very funny man uh comedian a teacher uh what what else a writer an actor former uh uh co-worker of yours? A former co-worker. Yeah, we used to have jobs together. Those are golden days.

Right? Oh, the salad days. Mr. Paul Bay is our guest. Thanks for having me. And thanks for mentioning the fan. Because the microphone was blocking it out, so I thought Dave was just blowing his cold air. Oh, you couldn't see the fan. No, I couldn't see the fan. Now I'm looking over it. There it is. I'm known for blowing a lot of cold air. Yeah, right? That's not an expression, though though Blowing hot air is an expression

Probably Mr. Freeze would have said something like that You're just full of cold air These politicians are full of cold air Well, the only one representation Of Mr. Freeze had that accent And that was the Arnold Schwarzenegger version In the comic books I always read it As having an Austrian accent

Anyway, do you want to get to Noah? Oh sure, okay In the comic books, I always read it as having an Austrian accent. Anyway, do you want to get to know us? Oh, sure. Okay. Get to know us. Now, Paul, what has happened in these 150-odd episodes? Because that's like how long in lifetime? In human years. It's about three years.

That's almost three years. Yeah. Wow. It's been a long time and your podcast is i gotta tell you you i didn't i hadn't listened to any podcast until i listened to yours uh before episode 23 and that has set the bar we were your marijuana yeah exactly you're my gateway podcast and i can't listen to any podcast if i if i hear a little tinniness in the sound or anything like that because there's so many podcasts oh yeah it has to sound like yours it has to be structured like yours also i don't want any part of it you got to thin the herd somehow that's uh that's my motto uh now you uh you've you've you've had like all these different uh careers in not a very long time like you've been a comedian and a teacher and you were a youth minister and uh

you were a tv host and uh now you're kind of doing what like a mix of a bunch of different things and uh writing uh working with terry miles the director uh right now we've got that's a familiar name why do we he had a night for dying tigers out uh at the toronto and vancouver film festivals no that's not it. Which I revealed. No, that's a very familiar name. I know he's quite well known. He's pretty well known.

He's done some Vancouver movies, I think, right? Yes, he has. So are you writing a film? We've written the film. Now we're getting financing. Shut up. We're trying to get financing and get this thing going.

Wow. Doing that. Trying to act. What's that like? The scene sort of drives... It's a silly thing. When you're not good like me, when you're just not that capable, it's just embarrassing. It's just embarrassing. You go out there, you can tell from everyone's faces,

you're not what we're looking for at all. Now, you've been in a couple of things. You've been in some action movie. Art of War 2. Art of War 2. Right. Was that in the movie? Operation Espionage.

Who was in that? Wesley Snipes. Wesley Snipes. What was the Jet Li one that they made here? Was that Art of War 1? No, I don't... I know the one

that you're talking about. It might be Romeo Must Die. I don't know. What was the one that you're talking about It might be Romeo Must Die What was the one that had Antonio Banderas and the lady from Ally McBeal 7 or

X vs. Ballistic X vs. Sever Ballistic Rizzoli vs. Isles So you're going out on auditions all right well yeah let's sort of dry it up right now but my i think my agent's getting uh uh desperate have you seen that have you seen that a and w commercial where the guy's looking for the spicy mama burger yeah like a big i auditioned for that he set me up for that one and i looked at him i said dude do i look like a

guy who goes out and eats spicy mama like Have you seen the A&W commercials? But maybe he just knows you as a person, because you do go out and eat Spicy Mama. I do. Well, not some McRibs. It's my drug of choice right now. Dave, did you know? We haven't seen you at the meetings. Yeah, Dave's a huge McRib guy.

You're notorious. People know you as being, you look super young for your age. So do you get auditions for roles that are much younger than your age? I used to until two years ago. I turned a corner. I don't know what happened to my face, but I just decided. I don't think anything's happened to your face. Maybe it's the way you carry yourself.

Well, something happened where I went out for an audition for this movie with, I'm not allowed to talk about who else is in it because they're filming it in Toronto, but I was in the final three and they're deciding and I had to play the older, I had to play 28-year-old brother to a 21-year-old. And they looked at me and they said, okay, you can come in again. And when they saw me live and they put the camera really close to my face and said, no, no, you're just not cutting it right there. And so I left feeling like...

Can't they do stuff with green screen? So you're not allowed to talk about this movie you didn't get? Well, not so much not allowed. I just don't... It's sort of embarrassing. Oh, okay. It's with the... I might as well...

It's with the... They're doing this dance movie. Oh, okay. Go on. And I really wanted it because I don't know if you've seen my windmill, but it's amazing. Yeah. And... It's another X-Men prequel where they all dance.

It takes it up to another level. I bend the bars of a gate of a prison using my windmill. Sure. And so it's a famous singer in Korea, and I guess she wants to break into the American acting scene. Oh, okay. And she's like the Korean Britney Spears. She's super huge there. And they want this thing where it's like a stomp type of thing.

It's Romeo and Juliet with two nightclub owners. And I'm her older protective break... Well, I was hoping breakdancing brother. Right. And they said, no, you... You could play a nightclub owner. I could see that. I could, right?

But you'd have to grow a mustache. I could sort of do that, I think. Do you think? Could you picture... Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Pushed up sleeves on your sport coat. Exactly. Yeah.

Lots of dangly jewelry. Earrings and such. Now, Dave and I are not, we don't know a lot about the acting world. We've been out on a couple auditions. Together. Really? Yeah. As a pair.

As a team. How'd you guys not stop giggling in the audition room? Yeah, we didn't. as a team. How did you guys not stop giggling in the audition room? Yeah, we didn't. Well, they took Graham in with another guy and I was about to leave and Graham was like, no, no, no, this guy's got to come in with me. And then a year later, the same company called us up

and said, hey, we're bringing in a bunch of people for this audition and the money's really good. What was it for, though? I don't know. It was like, you know, chocolate dildos or something like that you were just like nah no no i don't i think it was like a legitimate product and we were like no this is not gonna be fun did it have antonio and banderas and lucy lou lucy lou oh is that what you had oh you

couldn't think of her name no but i could remember that she was on ali mcbeal oh right um so what do you do you go in and do they they uh do they always go because this is what happened to us so they they you read the thing and then they go okay now uh pretend that you're jumping out of a van or whatever like you know they just throw like a weird that's not so much i've been getting auditions with like 10 pages i have to memorize of dialogue jesus you're going for that and then it's it's it's i had this one role that i really wanted um on this show called chaos and it was a lead guy in the i play a north korean diplomat defect but they're holding my wife prisoner sure so the scene i had to cry in the audition room wow like i can't cry i haven't i have never i haven't cried as an adult and so my wait a minute okay you haven't cried as an adult i haven a minute. You haven't cried as an adult?

I haven't cried as an adult. Have you seen Up? No, I haven't. Oh, yeah. I should watch Up? Well, here's what happened, though. I was talking to my girlfriend. She goes, well, you know, think of other things.

And she's at work. I'm bugging her. I'm like, I can't cry. I need a sense memory. I need something. Sure. And she goes, oh, pretend I'm gone. I'm like, I've done that.

It hasn't done anything. So after she hung up, I through i went through every forever i want like a vimeo videos of dogs being put down and like everything that used to on vimeo oh it's pretty i'll give you the link later no don't but anyways i was watching and nothing worked so i thought you know what i'm just to go in and try and during my lunch break I'll watch an ESPN 30 for 30 special called The Best That Never Was about a running back from University of Oklahoma

who didn't fulfill his potential I started bawling I just the tears started welling up I'm like this is what got me

I phone my girlfriend I'm like hey I found out how to cry I just have to watch a football player she's like lose my number

click exactly what are the online videos that player do it. She's like, lose my number. Click. Exactly. Wow. What are the online videos that could do it? Like, if you were looking for dogs being put down, there's the one with the... Last Minutes of Odin. That's all you need to see. What's that?

It's about this dude from prison. It's beautifully shot. And Cameron asks, can I follow you along while you're a dog with cancer and missing a limb? No, no, no, no, no, a limb no no no no no no no no you will you will you will grasp and you will embrace

your dog for like 48 hours you will not there's the one with the two guys who they're like a Sigfried and Roy looking dudes

with the lions yeah who raised a lion oh and then the lion recognizes them yeah and we give them a hug and Aerosmith is playing in the background yeah it wasn't it wasn't Whitney Houston I will always love her I think they've done a couple remakes then the lion recognizes them. Yeah, and we give them a hug and Aerosmith is playing in the background.

It wasn't Whitney Houston? I think they've done a couple of remakes. I think in real life no music was played. Most likely. It was probably some weird German music. Did you cry in that one?

I think... You know what really does it is that the video of the autistic kid who's like the ball boy for the basketball team. Oh, and then he keeps scoring. They put him in at the last minute and he scores.

Remember that? That made you cry? It's so, not sad, but uplifting. They gave him a chance and he came through. It was a real Rudy. Now wait, so you were saying you haven't cried as an athlete. I've teared, but they need me to ball.

Like I haven't balled. So you haven't like as an owl. What does that mean? I've cheered, but they need to ball. Like, I haven't balled. So you haven't, like, caught your shin on the side of a table? Well, that just makes me mad. That makes me like... Yeah. He wouldn't like you when you're angry. Doesn't make you sentimental for a table you used to have? No, no, no.

No? All right. No, not at all. You know what always makes me sad? No, I didn't. She says I actually cry too much. I'm like, I stopped thinking about Marcus Dupre. You were a little bit too weepy for this role. What makes me sad is when I think about my time as a North Korean diplomat when something sad happened.

I wasn't paying attention. And you're also a teacher, right? Yeah. And you're also a teacher, right? Yeah. And you're teaching in what, high school? High school. I was subbing this year, which was perfect because you could choose which days you want to work. And then I got called in for a

teacher who taught special ed, and I did that, and then she didn't come back. And it was every other day. So it was like a prank. Yeah, it was a prank. Hey, we're not coming back. You're stuck with us. But the kids were fantastic.

They were very affectionate. How long did you teach? That all year. It was this whole academic. Well, maybe from, sorry, maybe from December till a few weeks ago. That sounds pretty rewarding. Now tell me about these affectionate kids. It seems like you're skating the line there.

They're autistic kids, but they'd have, I had this one kid, once in a while if they're good, I'll let them stay in the classroom while I'm eating lunch. And they always do these odd things. One kid, this Chinese kid,

he's taller than me, maybe grade nine, and he goes, Mr. Bae, I can do this. Does full splits in front of me. So I'm at my desk, his head disappears because he's doing the splits,

and he doesn't get back up. I'm at my desk. His head disappears because, you know, he's doing the splits. Yeah. And he doesn't get back up. I'm eating my sandwich. I'm like, Jason? I look over and he's still in the splits staring intently at the top of my head. As you would. Yeah. Stayed there.

Stayed there for maybe seven minutes. Oh, wow. And I just ate my lunch and ignored him. How did he get... Did he have to fall over sideways or how did he get out of that? Yeah, he did the backwards flip and then his legs went up and then he went to his side got up and adjusted his sweatpants wow yeah yeah you'd have to wear sweats well you're gonna have to adjust them after that i don't want to leave in the classroom adjusting his sweatpants mr b my legs hurt what's that wow did you act like you were impressed was that what he was

looking for or i didn't want to encourage it so i sort of gave him a nod like because he's always in the back poised on two chairs like jean-claude van der staart staring at you greatest cinematic woman ever yeah is he in a bar when he does that to impress ladies no that's the beginning of blood sport when he's just showing off his moves so that we as the viewer get to know how good uh the duke. I hate to break it to you. It's in every movie. He does the splits. The splits? Yeah. He maybe shows his butt.

Yeah. He has to explain what his accent is. That's another thing that happens in every movie. But the splits on the chairs I think is quite unique to Bloodsport.

Yeah. I think Time Cop is on chairs too. Really? Yeah. Someone's shooting a laser under his crotch. He's wearing a towel.

It may have been to ironing boards. But he's in the future, so it's like those... Well, now you can get them at Ikea, just metal chairs. Oh, future chairs. Yeah. Now, do you think that he had a clause in his contract that said that I get to do the splits on chairs? Or something equivalent?

Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bar stools, Ironing boards. Also, like, licking or wiping blood off of his face and looking at it. Yeah. And maybe sometimes licking it. I don't think he ever did that. He's like, hmm, what is this, human? That has to be in every Golden Harvest kung fu movie,

where the guy gets his face clawed by some evil guy with, like, because he's getting beaten up by Bruce Lee, so he has to resort to like metallic claws. Crazy claw hands. And then does it on the chest or something. But Bruce Lee never looked at the blood. He just tasted it without taking his eyes off the bad dude. What's the, is that like when cops taste a little bit of cocaine to make sure it's pure?

That's exactly it. We were watching a bit of Dirty Harry, one of the Dirty Harry movies. And it's all revolvers. Well, last weekend was AMC's Rough Justice weekend with all Dirty Harry and Death Wish movies. And it's for anybody, because we have some younger listeners that probably don't know the conventions of the cop pulling out the siren and putting it on the roof of the car. Yeah. Like that was a mainstay in the 70s and 80s, and then that just vanished altogether in the 90s. Do you remember when they sold that at Radio Shack? Are you old enough to remember that?

No. I think I was in grade four, and my older cousin, I think he was 16 at the time, had a little Datsun B210. And he put that fake siren up, and traffic would move out of the way for his little Datsun. And I thought he was the coolest thing. It wasn't cool. How did the Ghostbusters rationalize that they got to have sirens? Because they weren't a law enforcement agency they weren't an emergency service well everyone knew who they had to call but billy ray cyrus is always or billy d williams no no no that does that genie's out of the box wait what did billy d williams have to do with it

uh he was he's the one who said who you good no no no that's the one from star wars billy ray parker Who are you going to No Nope That's the one from Star Wars Billy Ray Parker Ray Parker Jr We were talking Before the podcast started

About Paul's inability Like how he's got This dad quality Of just barely getting A celebrity's name wrong You ever see me on stage Try to do I never do references

I can't do cultural references Because I fuck it up on stage Yep You know that Darth Vader chick What Now Billy the it up on stage you know that darth vader chick what now uh uh billy d parker jr yeah um well yeah i don't know why they were allowed to have science i don't know why they were allowed to have

a nuclear containment unit in their uh uh basement of an abandoned fire hall i don't know why they were allowed to buy an abandoned fire hall that seems like a thing you wouldn't be legally allowed to have. I think in New York, there's a lot of, like, funky loft spaces you can buy, especially if you're a character in a movie. You guys know that Bill Murray's role was originally, that was

John Belushi, was supposed to be the... You know what? That makes sense. Yeah, does it? It makes total sense. I could totally see that. The first time I saw that, I thought... I remember thinking Belushi would have been great. Yeah. Had he been around for this thing. And a crazy thing is, Slimer, the green ghost,

based that the... He was designed after John Belushi, as an ode to John Belushi. Oh. And his character in Animal House. The one that eats whatever his character in Animal House is, that eats all the food? Booger. How do you know this?

Was there like a... You love the movie so much that... Dan Aykroyd when he drinks too much Crystal Head vodka. Loose lips. It's one of those things. I follow a Ghostbuster fan page on Twitter. They have

new things out that are perfect for your proton pack mods. Is that right next to your full house tab on your computer? You and Charlie, here's the thing about

doing the show with Graham and Charlie Demere is very funny comic. The TV shows you guys are talking about and remember, what was that shows you guys are talking about. Remember, go, what was that movie you guys are talking about? And you realized, given the year that that movie came out,

you might have been in Senior. Yeah, we based a whole segment on that. We were talking about how awesome I think it was The Lion King. And then it turned out we were both teenagers. We were like way too old for... Yeah, we used to have a segment on this podcast based on that uh called i'm too old for this yeah based on that exact it was uh as a teacher i have a lot of those where you're just like well no that's the thing is uh because that must keep you connected somewhat to uh what the kids are yeah because because as adults who aren't uh around kids i don't know i i don't know the difference between i carly and uh what is a demi lovato

yeah um uh the wizards of waverly place seems like something i would be into if i could find time between episodes of Drake and Josh. Do you know any of this? No. You know, I know what they're talking about, but that's under grade nine. And to be honest,

whenever I hear the kids talk about that kind of stuff, I get really angry. Really? Because I think back to like when we were, like I'm pretty sure

the teachers didn't look at our music and think, that's lame. Right. Right, right, right. Or it was candy or saccharine. I think they might have thought, oh, it's a bit too heavy for you or it's maybe like it's a bad influence

oh like kids today are nerds it's not dangerous in any sense there's no rock and roll like no one listens to rock and roll now like nobody oh yeah so like back in the day it would have been like oh this is gonna rot your brain or cause a columbine. Yeah, Iron Maiden and Scorpions, they look at the cover and they're like, oh, you shouldn't listen to that. That's just bad. But now there's not... You're right.

There isn't that kind of... I mean, unless your kid's a juggalo. And then... Yeah. But, you know... Even then. If your kid's a juggalo, you're probably also a juggalo.

Right? That's how it works. Juggalos aren't born in a vacuum. No, it skips a generation. So your grandfather was a juggalo What's going on with you, Dave? What's shaking? Well, here's a phenomenon In my 30 years

I haven't experienced until about a week ago I started getting dive-bombed by crows Near your house? Near my house, yeah. And it happened two days in a row at the same time. And I was just walking down the street. Abby and I were walking Grandpa. And these crows were being awfully loud.

And sort of puffing themselves up in trees and stuff. And we're like, oh, that's weird. And we were just being casual about it. Being cool. Don't make eye contact. Just keep walking. We were just socially awkward. We don't want to do anything embarrassing.

That would embarrass the crow. Just be yourself. Yeah. And a crow totally dive bombed us yeah and uh and then we're like okay we should cross to the other side of the street and you know make it clear that we're getting out of their territory and then as we were doing that got dive bombed again oh and but like i didn't want to do a big freak out. No. Like when, like when, you know, a bee flies by your ear.

And so I don't know why I didn't. It was, it's like, that's the size of a, you know, a rat flying at your head. Are you one of those people that would rather get stung than do a big gesture in public? Yes, yes, yes. Yeah, I'm like that too. Yeah. Or like, if I get a parking ticket, I don't want to pull it off my car and look at it like, oh, you know. You don't want to be dramatic about it.

Yeah, I don't want or I'll be embarrassed if people see me notice that I have a parking ticket. So I'll just get in my car and drive with it stuck to my windshield. And then I'll, you know, reach out the window later and pull it into the car. But yeah, and then the next day, Grandpa, the dog, got dive-bombed by crows. And he didn't even notice. But it just happens in this one area at 11 o'clock in the morning. So it happened two days in a row on weekends. But yeah, we've gone through that area

at other times of day and it's fine, but they're just really territorial at that time of day. That's weird because crows are smart. They're doing that for a reason. Well, this is around my house. They were dive bombing a lot because they had a nest and so they had baby crows that they were teaching

how to fly. Was it cute? Did you witness any of that? Oh, God, no. The sound of a crow is horrible. The sound of a baby crow is that amplified. It's way higher pitched and horrible, and it's like they're trying too hard. They haven't got comfortable in their caw yet.

Yeah. So, yeah, we got dive-bombed. Everybody in my building got dive-bombed every day. The key to avoiding it was an umbrella. They do not recognize the umbrella as a person. Oh, I was considering... Let's see how smart they are now. I was considering carrying a tennis racket.

And that, I wouldn't be too embarrassed to smash a flying crow to the ground you actually made contact with your head no but like uh really close yeah like they meant business yeah they definitely meant business were you wearing a hat no ah yeah that's another thing they will fly at people with uh just like exposed hair for some reason but you know what but if you don't freak out and look very cool with it, you could look really badass walking down the street and all these crows like over your head just sort of. Or you would look like a mental patient. Yeah. Or the movie The Crow. Is that the name of the movie?

The Crow? Crows. It was like cars. It was counting crows. The Adam Duritz story. That movie, The Crow Was it The Crow? Yeah

Bruce Lee's son Bruce Lee's son, yeah I always get him confused Yeah, old blood liquor son I always get It's Brandon Lee, right? Yeah I always get him confused with Jason Scott Lee

Who played Bruce Lee in Dragon, The Crow story Yes That guy's due for another movie Yeah He did such a good job what about a sequal typecast yeah maybe he can be in the tony jaw story uh but uh was was that the first like i guess not because the cure were around but what was the first like goth thing because the crow is like a a pretty big i think goth icon i wasn't the uh the band well you said the cure that was here or or suzy and the banshees or uh there were a few years before robert smith and the cure uh

bow house oh yeah yeah oh who had bella legosi's dad? Who did that? Bauhaus. That was Bauhaus? Yeah, that was Bauhaus. Yeah, and like The Crow was the first, it was the first like, like it was a comic book, right? And it was like an independent comic book and then it was made into a movie. And that was like the first time I think that ever happened. I'm pretty sure. Like an independent comic book making like a big splash or whatever

i guess so maybe the movie splash that was a zine before um well and then there was a bunch of sequels of the crow and then a horrible tv show that was filmed here in uh really vancouver called the crow what was it called like the crow Crow... After Hours. Nesting. Yeah, The Crow After Hours. And it had the guy, but he didn't have the cool crow makeup, which was the whole thing, right? His cool costume and his makeup.

And his brooding, right? Yeah, yeah. I never saw it, but I assume there was brooding. You've never seen it? There was leather pants or vinyl pants. Yeah, probably vinyl pants. You know, I remember The Crow,

the first one, and only that one. I remember that being quite good when I saw it. I heard it was fine. It has that one actor who plays the same. He's the guy in Miller's Crossing that keeps saying, you're giving me the high hat. He's like an Italian guy.

He has a pencil-thin mustache. He plays like a greasy dude in every single role. And he plays the greatest greasy dude in The Crow. You know, I never understood, and I still don't really. And I don't say he's greasy because he's Italian. He literally looks like he's coated in grease. Good distinction. But is emo the same thing as goth?

I've never understood that. I've never asked my students about it. It's not? No, emo is more... asked my students about it it's not no emo is more uh well emo is more you might wear you know uh a bright pink with your black sure oh you might wear a baggy sweater or uh have a weird lopsided haircut well that's also goth goth would do a weird lopsided haircut too never understood that well i don't know why they needed a new term for goth if it's just goth. It's not really goth, though. It's like... A goth is more like

a cult and the dark arts. And emo is more like being a whiny baby. Yeah. And goth girls were like... Cool.

They were great. Yeah, emo girls I girls were like... Cool. Yeah. They were great. Yeah, emo girls I think probably are as well. No, maybe. Yeah, but there's no movie for emo girls, but there was The Craft for goth girls. Yeah, that's true. Like, what would be the movie for emo girls?

Oh, jeez. Nick and Nora's Infinite Playlist. That's not as good as The Craft. What are the Twilight movies before emo girls? I'm not sure, I'm guessing here. Oh, yeah, that's not bad. Is that what the older teenagers are into? Oh, they love Twilight. The girls.

They love all that stuff. Well, why not? It's hunky everybody. Hunky Dory. It's hunky. Yeah. Yeah. I would say, yeah.

Still, the craft is better than Twilight. There. I said it. I'm throwing down the gauntlet. Because the craft was about four girls that were witches. I didn't catch all that. Oh, now I remember that. Remember?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. And they had... Perusa Balk. Nev Campbell. Yeah, come on, Dave. The black one. And Robin Tunney.

Wow. How do you not know? Not to be confused with Rebecca Gayheart. But of the same, you know. The same school of reading. Rebecca Gayheart. Yeah, she was, I think Rebecca Gayheart was the first ever number one on Maxim's Hot 100. You know what?

You're right. I thought her career was so ascendant and then she just disappeared. Mm-hmm. Yeah, she was in Urban Legends. Remember that film, guys? oh no it was like a bunch of urban legends can't come true like a lady bought a rat in mexico and or bought a chihuahua in mexico and turned out it was a rat beer did you guys drink before i showed up not? Not enough. I got some dry mouth. No, you've heard that one about the lady

buying the Chihuahua in Mexico and then she comes home and it turns out it's a giant rat. It seems sick. No, it's a rat. She brings it to the vet and the vet's like, that's a rat. I've run some tests on it. They should make like, Urban Legends was a scary

movie about scary urban legends coming true. They should do one about the dumb urban legends. About the... Wasn't there one? It was Kentucky Fried Chicken and there was a mouse or a... I don't remember. What was the one about

a monster getting his stomach pumped? I remember that. And then there was semen in pumped. Oh, I remember that. And then there was semen in it. Hey, come on. That goes without saying. What else would they pump their stomach for? Richard Gere, put a gerbil in his butt. That should be urban legend.

Should star Rod Stewart and Richard Gere. And Alfonso Ribeiro dies in a Pepsi ad with ad with uh michael jackson was he in that is that what the thing was that he was in that ad yeah or what was the other one that mikey from the uh the life cereal ads he died from drinking pop or from drinking coke while eating pop rocks and they exploded in his stomach yeah That was a rumor? Yeah. This is... You should... You're working on a screenplay. Probably you should take some notes on this upcoming Urban Legends screenplay.

Yeah. I feel like that first Urban Legends movie, it's time for a remake. Yeah. Because they did really poorly at the box office. Don't remake Annie with Willow Smith. Remake. Whip your red hair back and forth. Am I right, guys?

I whip my perm back and forth. Gray, what's going on with you? You know, not too much. Glad that the royal visit is all finished up. Oh yeah, they were in your hair. You know, it's like, we're

Commonwealth, right? I get it. But kind of like, I don't understand why people here were as excited as they were to have them to switch. If people don't know, Prince William and Princess, the Duchess of Kate, came here. Yeah, Kate. Not to Vancouver, but to canada and uh every national media outlet was covering it it was their first trip overseas officially yeah and it was like and they called it the canadian honeymoon which is just that sounds like a thing like the canadian tuxedo like like getting drunk in somebody's parking lot is called the Canadian honeymoon or something. Right? But

this was the thing, is every day they had to go and watch, like, whatever territory they were in, they had to watch, like, some weird presentation by the local dance troupe. Yeah. It must be the worst to be... Oh, yeah. Yeah. Like, I now... To be, what, the dancer?

No, to be the prince. Yeah. I think to be them is very tough to sit there and having to watch. I hope he has a pauper he can switch places with. A pauper. Yeah. He brought along a pauper. Yeah. We couldn't find a pauper in all of Canada.

Does the pauper get... Penguins? Does he get wife access? You know what? Today I'm hoping I run across a homeless guy that looks exactly like Prince of Lima. I couldn't get my job done. Does he get wife access? It's in how well he plays it.

You've seen the movie, Dave. Oh, right. It's in how well he gets a bill passed that she wants passed. Then he gets access to all Sigourney Weaver's delights. Right. Earthly delights. So you are tired. Now, the prince and princess, they were sleeping

on your couch. That's why it bothered you so much. Yeah, and they're very needy. They're very like, this isn't like Windsor, wherever they live. Do they live in the same place as the queen? Yeah. Or do they have their own place?'s like everybody loves raven only british they built a basement suite for the queen the mom she moved down there yeah he yells out to an intercom system like zach aliph and i mom

make me some spaghetti yeah it's like the king of queens oh the prince of princesses it's like a british version it's like the King of Queens. Oh. The Prince of Princesses. It's like a British version. It's like, are you being served? Yeah, yeah, exactly. Raymond, are you being served, Raymond? So I'm glad that's over. I'm glad that's over and done with.

But it wasn't just the fact that we are a Commonwealth country. I think had they gone to the United States, there would have been just as much attention. They went to Los Angeles, and that seemed like that was a pretty big deal, even by Los Angeles standards. Tom Hanks, whenever Tom Hanks comes out. Yeah, and Los Angeles has Pinkberry. I mean, they've got it all. That's right. So there's that.

I'm glad that's over. Here's the other thing that happened this week. I guess it happened more in america because they have the delivery service uh that netflix provides but uh the price of netflix went up double uh yeah it went up to what is it it used to be seven and now it's 14 or something like that anyways the fury people just like twitter it was like the number one thing people were talking about. And people were just so, just angry and vitriol. And it was like, but you know that, like, that's what happens when a monopoly moves in, right?

Like, you knew when you made sure that their competition was decimated. Like, they weren't going to be like oh good we'll just complete you know keep offering this cheap service about it yeah yeah netflix we're gonna be cool about it we're not like those other guys like once you hand a monopoly to a company that's what they do right but i also heard that their rights like what it's costing them to provide this stuff is uh their prices are going up double but uh it's going to cost them 10 times as much like it's costing them to provide this stuff is their prices are going up double but it's going to cost them 10 times as much like it's going up from

100 million dollars to a billion or something Jesus! to acquire the rights to show all these movies? yeah and that's what gets me I know the bills are going to go up by double but double is like it sounds bad but you're going from seven bucks to 15 bucks

a month for unlimited movies. Not even five or six years ago, like to rent a movie would cost that much. Like that would be, if you wanted to rent two movies, that would be it. That would be how much you get unlimited. And you better get them back on time.

Or if you rented Princess Diaries, only that one, and then use it as a coaster for three extra nights. Yeah. Like I did by accident. Then it'll cost you $18. Oh, man. Or if you rent a VHS and lose it, that's going to be like $60.

Yeah. So, you know, I know that there's a lot of people that have been born and raised in a culture where they don't have to pay for any entertainment at all. But like $14 a month is like an incredibly reasonable... If that was the original offering price, people would be like, can you believe it? $14 a month for unlimited everything. Yeah, and oh, I got to pay that on top of my cell phone bill and heating and water, all my essentials, yeah, just don't get it. It's not essential. Like, no one's forcing you

to subscribe to this company. How am I going to feed my kids? How am I going to hire a babysitter? No, that's the thing. That's the beauty of it. You let Netflix be the babysitter. Exactly. You cut out the middle.

But my babysitter just went up. My babysitter just doubled. Yeah. out the middle. But my babysitter just went up. My babysitter just doubled. Well, that's because your babysitter's a slut. She sleeps around. Oh, there's one more thing I wanted to talk about. I forgot to bring it up. I saw this video of Dave Grohl from

The Foo Fighters. Sure. They threw... Netflix spokesman Dave Grohl. There was an audience member who was being unruly and they stopped... He stopped in the middle of the song and put all the attention

on this one audience member to get rid of him. And the one thing he said in the middle of this Foo Fighters show that I remember, it was, people don't come to this... You don't come to my show to fight

you come to my show to dance we're the fighters we're the foo fighters yeah we'll do that we'll do all the food fighting you guys do the food dancing yeah but I'm sure everyone in the audience is like we're not dancing you're not making dance music then they did a cover of let's dance the classic classic Bowie hit you're was surprisingly aggressive in that. Yeah. Like, I've always had, like, you know, I didn't lose respect for him, but I thought, you know, that's a, you don't know what happened. The other guy might have said something about his girlfriend at the time.

Like, come on, Groll, I thought you were cool. Or the guy might have been epileptic. Yeah. Stops the whole concert. He just ended up looking like a fool. Did I tell you about that? He just ended up looking like a fool. Did I tell you about that?

The one time in my life that I had a migraine headache that kind of came out of nowhere and I was at a music show and because it was so painful my eyes were kind of rolling back and the lead singer of the band thought I was making fun of the music and called me out

and was like, what the fuck is wrong with you and i was like the room was spinning and i must have looked crazy to him but like now you know you got to be careful like like ever since then i was like if anybody's uh yelling something out in the crowd i'm like scan to make sure they're not uh you know like uh in the middle of a fit yeah something oh yeah performers have to be very sensitive to that. They've got to be sensitive to peanut allergies. Yeah, absolutely. You don't just go out there throwing peanuts around, Dave Grohl.

I hope you learned your lesson. Unless your guitar pick's made out of peanuts. No, but then you don't. You make a soy butter guitar pick. Alternative, yeah. Now let's pause for a moment to handle some sponsorship business. Yes, let's. Life can be fun.

Don't get carried away. You gotta do the things you don't wanna do to get through the day. You gotta shine your shoes, you gotta sweep the floor, you gotta clean your house, you gotta do some more. Take care of beers in the house. Now we have an ad that's been sent to us by a musical duo called Busman's Holiday.

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Yeah, sure. They play a suitcase-based drum kit and guitar. Yeah, they use a, I think it's a suitcase as a bass drum. It's a suitcase, bass drum, bass drum set. Sure. And they sing, some of their songs are kind of a more poppy

feel, and some of them sound kind of like something out of Oh Brother Where Art Thou? Yeah, like a less Leon Redbone sounding Leon Redbone. There you go. And they're on tour this summer, starting July 21st. Yeah, kind of like a light acoustic pop. Not light in the sense of, you know.

It's not flaky. Yeah, not a diet beverage. Yeah, it's fun. So they're on tour. They're starting in July 21st. They're going to be in and around Vancouver at the beginning of August. Yep. If you want to learn more about their tour, where they're going to be in and around Vancouver at the beginning of August. Yep. If you want to learn more about their tour, where they're going to be playing, go to busmansholiday.com.

And you can hear their release, the seven-song release, and buy it right now at busmansholiday.bandcamp.com. So check them out. I think they'll be a lot of fun to see. I want to see this suitcase. Yeah, they're Hoosiers. Did we mention that they're from Indiana? No, I don't think so. Well, they are.

Go Hoosiers! Now, if you want to advertise on Stop Podcasting Yourself, what you need to do is get over to MaximumFun.org slash Jumbotron and fill out the information there. We're going to need a T4. We're going to need a T4. We're going to need a birth certificate. If you can't remember Jumbotron, just think Jumbo as in an elephant and Tron as in the movie.

Yeah, sure. Just think Dumbo as in the movie, minus D, plus J, then Tron, minus Legacy. And, yeah, well, let's move on to some overheard overheard overheards things overheard with your wonderful ears overseen with your wonderful eyes two verbal eyes yeah your whole body is a wonderland um bruno mars nope i know uh but he could have easily written that down oh sorry now we like to start with the guest Paul do you have an overheard? I do it's a short one quality over quantity

well the last time I was here I talked about the people ordering that salon champagne at that fancy restaurant and they were impressed by the fact that Hitler only drank that champagne so this one's not not up there with that one but this one made me giggle like a madman i was at the dog park hung over with my dogs watching them play and these women were talking behind me and i was

already annoyed because it was a huge dog park but they chose right behind me to have their little conference and uh so i had my headphones in pretending not to hear and uh one of them goes by the time they got to earshot, she's like, oh yes, she's totally obsessed with her new balls. And I started giggling because I was so tired. I just started giggling and it couldn't stop. And they looked at me. They actually stopped.

And I just pretended, I just kept nodding because I had the headphones in. Like, oh, you know, in my head I was thinking, oh, Graham and Dave. You do a little method acting. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm just laughing listening to the new Bruno Mars album. They were, of course, talking about dog's balls.

Dog's balls, of course. Now, you originally, at the outset, you were not a dog person. No, not at all. Your girlfriend was lobbying very hard for you guys to have a dog, and now you're a two-dog dude. Yeah, she wanted to adopt a dog. I said no. And then we saw this dog. I said okay.

And you met the dog when it brought to the studio. Monty, really cute. Basset Hound Lab, a little shorty. And then we went up to Whistler, and it's this thing with us where if we're in the Never There, we want to visit the SPCA just to see how they're doing. And remember that big husky incident up there? Oh, yeah. We want to see those puppies right

and at the bottom of the litter was this little dog that didn't belong to the litter and i go what is it they go they call it the mount curry mix we have no clue where he came from and so we adopted him and now we have now we have two and uh you gotta stop making trips to the sbc my friend that might be a good idea it seems like surefire poison i you. I'm desperate now. I'm like, oh, forget this. Let's go to Spence Diamonds. Something easier. Dave? Spence Diamonds. Right?

I'm chief. When Graham and I hosted the advertising awards last year, the guy who was in charge of it said, here are some inside jokes that you can do that will make everyone in the room laugh. Things that are known in the advertising industry as just the worst. And one was Spence Diamonds, with Doug Spence.

Is that there? Yeah, because he comes on and just talks about, hey, you don't want to cheap out on your diamond. You want your girl to settle down with you or whatever. He, like, does a big thing. You can try on every ring in the store. Right. Something like that.

There's another guy. There's a guy out here named Joel Matlin from a company called Alarm Force. Oh, geez, yeah. 1-800-267-2001. Alarm Force. It's better than Spence Diamonds Better by design Well, you know what?

If they've stuck that well, then maybe the jingles worked. That's where I buy all my jingle jangly. All my diamonds at Alarm Forces. Did you hear their ad on the radio for Spence Diamonds at Valentine's for the Hercules Knot necklace? Do at Valentine's for the Hercules knot necklace?

Do you remember that? The Hercules knot? Now that seems like something that, like the Canadian honeymoon, is like a weird sex term. It was a weird... Something frat guys talk about, but no one ever does. It stopped me in my tracks. I had to stay in the car on my way to work and just listen to the whole thing. Like, you hear the woman's voice.

If you love her and you want to keep her, get the Hercules knot. In ancient times, men used to tie an impenetrable knot around the woman's waist until the wedding night when only the man for her had the strength to undo that knot. Show your love by showing your

ownership of this woman with a cheap gold necklace. Every woman who got married, married the strongest man. No, some ended up wearing that knot for the rest of this woman. With a cheap gold necklace. Every woman who got married married the strongest man. No, some ended up wearing that knot for the rest of their life. Because their man's like, okay, I don't have nails. Why did I marry DJ Qualls? Everyone grew up in a circus. How strong are you?

Yeah. Every man's the strong man. Every woman's the bearded lady. But you said a thing. We were watching that Joel Matlin commercial came on television here. And he goes, hello, I'm Joel Matlin. And you said just spontaneously,

I'm Joel Matlin. And I never touch those kids. Which made me laugh. Doesn't sound like me. No, you just said it. And it was really funny. And now every time I see the commercial, I am Joel Matlin. and I never touch those games.

Like you made a whole commercial for it. Oh, very funny. Okay, my overheard is thus. I was walking downtown today by a grocery store. Sure. And there was a man and his son in front of me. grocery store. Sure. And there was a man and his son in front of me. And there was a sign outside the grocery store that said, ostrich! And then steaks! And the dad goes, hey, check it out, ostrich steaks. And that's not how it was. It was ostrich steaks. But they keep going forward. And the dad is telling his son, like, oh, I know this guy who can get all kinds of weird meat.

He can get ostrich. He can get python meat. He can get zebra. Anything, as long as it's not endangered. And they keep going and talking about this, and the son is like, what's the difference between endangered and extinct? And the dad goes,

well, endangered means almost extinct. I think the United Nations has something to do with that. There's a polar bear on the United Nations. Banging his shoe. Richard Attenborough used to go into safari with a yellow, light blue helmet.

He's a peacekeeper. You guys break it up! Yeah, that's how he sounded like. You guys break it up! I'm Richard Attenborough used to go into safari with a yellow, light blue helmet. It's a peacekeeper. You guys break it up. Yeah, that's how he sounded like. You guys break it up. I'm Richard Attenborough. Pretty good. So that was pretty delightful. That is pretty delightful.

Mine's not nearly as delightful. Mine was of the annoying camp. As you know, I am trying to get in some sort of shape for this Spartan race. A pair? Yeah, right? That's a shape. Sorry, explain the Spartan race? The last couple weeks I've been talking about the fact that for my dad's birthday I said I would enter in this crazy race with him.

And for my mom's birthday I promised her one night of anything going. Gross. It will be Spartan. But it's like a race. It's got all these different... You've got to climb under barbed wire, and you've got to run... You've got to tie a Hercules knot. And then untie it.

And you have to go past guys with those like American Gladiator things and they try and knock you down and so I've been going to the Y right I'm trying to get into some sort of shape but people here's the thing that I don't know if it's cultural

or age but the people at the Y that I'm at the old dudes love drying themselves off with the hair dryers. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know if that's just an old man thing. And by themselves you mean they're private?

No, everything. Oh, okay. They start at the head, uh, of their body. Do the dryer, is it a handheld dryer? Handheld. Oh, okay. And they'll, uh, do the whole thing. But some of the old dudes will stand underneath the hand dryer that's on the wall and just stand there until their head must be, like, baked.

Stand underneath the hand dryer? Yeah, they're quite tall. Oh, the high hand dryer. Yeah, high hand dryer. Exactly. Sure, all right. Anyways, and lots of people talk on their cell phones a lot in locker rooms, which is, I don't know, you can't get away from it. a lot in locker rooms which is uh i don't know you can't get away from it and there was a guy today that was talking about a real estate deal and he kept repeating the same phrase as if he was

doing different takes for a director uh like he said it at least four times where he's like well if i were you i wouldn wouldn't sign the check like that. But if I were you, and he tried it four different ways. And if I were you. Yeah. But if I were you, but it was like he was bored with the conversation. So he was trying out like, yeah, I'll just try out different ways of saying if I were you. But anyways, that's all I got. That's all I have for you.

If I'm in a change room, like these days days i don't see cell phones as i'm changing i see cameras oh yeah there's a camera to me now like video camera like that's that's not cool you don't think he was taking he was faking that whole conversation he's taking pictures of my wiener oh yeah he's like i'm gonna screw up the spartan race for him go. Hey, does Wiener look familiar? If I were you, I would photograph my Wiener like this. Where is off-limits for cell phones? Movie theaters. Yes. Any kind of live performance.

I would say your religious institutions, your churches, your synagogues, your temples. Libraries? Yeah, I'd say libraries. I'd say classrooms, probably. Wait, when you say phones, your temples. Libraries? Yeah, I'd say libraries. I'd say classrooms, probably. Wait, when you say phones, you mean talking or texting? Talking.

Talking. What about texting? Texting should be off-limits in a classroom, right? You're not allowed to text in a classroom, are you? I think texting should be... These are two different conversations. Oh, I'm sorry. But texting should be off-limits in a movie theater as well. Yeah, because of the glow of the screen.

Yeah, right. Right? Once they fix that glow, though, right? It'll be great. Sure. I mean, when are they just going to put them in our eyeballs? Right? When, I don't know, technology catches up, I guess. Sure. Guys, did you know that

also people can send in overheards via electronic mail? Oh, that's great. Yeah. If you want to be one of those people, you can send them in via stop podcast yourself at gmail.com. And this first one comes from Liz. She, in the opening, she calls us you handsome blokes.

Oh, fun. Yeah. Right. She, I think she's emailing the wrong podcast. Yeah. Right. Yeah. You're looking for the, uh, what is it? Chris Hardwick. He's pretty handsome. Yeah, right? I think she's emailing the wrong podcast. Yeah, right? You're looking for the, what is it, Chris Hardwick?

He's pretty handsome. Yeah, I guess handsome blokes hosting podcasts are few and far between. She says she works for the United States Postal Service, and with that I encounter a plethora of delights, be it from amazing names to very personal information plain to see on postcards and written on envelopes. Prison mail is always a particular joy to come across, and believe me, there's plenty of it.

I believe that. I believe that the prison system is probably holding up a lot of the postal system. Yeah, Abby used to work at a talent agency, and they would get a lot of fan mail, and most of it would be from prison. Are you serious? Mm-hmm. Well, I guess because of the limited internet space for them or computer space,

they have to do actual old-fashioned handwritten letters. Yeah, and the 24 hours of doing nothing but thinking about sexy ladies in movies. This is a sampling of truly incredible names that she's come across. Connie Dong. Love it. Fanny Colon.

Okay. Daryl W. Dick, which is, she says, super fun to say, which it is. Especially because of the W. Diana Moron. Douchebag McDonald. No. No, that can't be. That's somebody writing to their friend, right?

Yeah. Charles P. Frankenberry Jr. That's got to be another friend thing. Yeah. Finally, a couple of awesome statements picked up from envelopes. One is, thank you for three months of lies and unkept promises. I really trusted you. Which is crazy to write on the outside.

Right. Think of what's inside oh right maybe she wrote a really nice letter and then oh and sealed it and then he cheated on her oh I gotta buy a new envelope I'll just write that thing on the outside and this one another one

sent to a prison cannot accept perfumed envelopes yeah right because they might turn it into booze they might rub it on their bitch envelope gin they call it um so that's all from uh liz yeah i think that's all right i think that's all right. I think that's all right. This other one comes from another lady, Shannon J. Oh, from Omaha. That's correct. She was one of the live overhearders at the Max FunCon.

Yes, that's right. Yeah. Shannon J. Keep it up. She said, I usually call them in, but I really want Graham to read this out loud. Here we go. In his dumb voice. Dumb voice.

Uh-oh. Speaking of dumb voices, I just lost it. One second. There it is. We'll sing the Cornhusker anthem just for her as he's... Hey, Cornhuskers, look at your... Corn.

Corn. How did I... Line. Look at your maze.. Corn. How did I... Line. Look at your maze. I was in a bookstore, and I heard this exchange between two ladies who were each easily over 60 years old. Old Lady 1. Do you own Anne of Green Gables?

I've been wanting to read it. Old Lady 2. I own it, but it's boring. Old Lady 1. Oh, really? That's too bad. Old Lady 2. it but it's boring old lady one oh really that's too bad old lady two i mean it's a classic but it's like he touched her hand and she shuddered and you know she's having an orgasm but they can't

say that old lady one oh no not in those days they couldn't that never happened in anagree cables right she was hypersensitive she was like She had an elbow orgasm? Yeah, that's embarrassing, right? Like if that happened to a dude He would be a laughing stock Oh, did Anna Green Gables touch your hand? Shudder Pants, shudder

That was an old crazy English teacher That she overheard saying that Oh, okay, sure, yeah, I believe that Because for English teachers everything's an orgasm. Mm-hmm. Any exciting scene. Yeah, sure.

That was William Golding explaining an orgasm. Yeah. I'm going to call orgasms trouser shutters from now on. Here in Animal Farm all of the animals

are orgasmic. Shutters with two D's or two T's? Because now I'm picturing the shutters. Pretty good. That is pretty good. I would say with two Ds or two Ts? Because now I'm picturing the shutters. Pretty good. That is pretty good. It's A with two Ds.

Just for clarification. But my pants zippers are now trouser shutters. Right. For anyone listening. Pretty good. From now on. Yeah, trouser shutters. That's pretty good, actually.

Yeah, it's like something that's been translated to a different language and then translated back into English. Nice zippers. Are those YKs? No, no, no. Trouser shutters. Trouser shutters. Trouser shutters. YKK's zippers. No, I use a different brand of zipper.

When I buy new pants, I take them to a tailor. He installs. Trouser shutters. Trouser shutters. Thank you. Let's run this into the ground. And this one comes from Megan C. This morning, as I was walking to work, I heard a man yelling something indistinguishable

into his cell phone over and over again. As I got closer, I started to be able to make out the words. He was shouting, I'm not going crazy on you! I'm not going crazy on you! Was he talking to the heart song Crazy on You? Oh my god! That was good.

Also, that's what you When you're an actor it's subtext It's not what is being said It's how It was like your overheard He was just repeating it different ways I'm not going crazy on you I'm not going crazy on you

I'm going crazy for you Cut That's not the word at all Now in addition to overheards that have been written in We also have telephone capabilities So if you would like to leave us a message, dial 206-339-8328, and your overheard just might be picked. Now, do you guys know what an Arnold Palmer is? Is it a drink?

It is a drink. It is half lemonade and half iced tea. Oh. But there's no alcohol in and half iced tea. Oh, but there's no alcohol. No alcohol. Oh, okay. And this, just in case you don't know what it is, this Overheard is about an Arnold Palmer. Sounds great. Hey, stop podcasting yourself. This is Kyle from Olympia calling with an Overheard.

My wife is notorious for mixing things up in hilarious ways, and this is the most recent one. Recently, we were enjoying some Arnold Palmer, and we put some in a sippy cup for my 18-month-old daughter to try, and she really enjoyed it. And then my wife said, wow, she really likes that Tom Arnold. What a disappointing beverage. Now, here's a weird thing along the lines of tom arnold today uh roseanne was on the view uh it was a list of hot topics today on the view and uh roseanne uh bought like a pistachio farm and uh like that's what she's been doing for the last several years and she like is a farmer doing this uh doing this pistachio farm or whatever. Anyways, I just thought I'd bring you guys up to speed.

Tom Arnold, he still does his truffle work. Yeah, that's weird. I heard that the bass player from Blur now runs a cheese farm. Are you serious? Yeah. I'm always amazed by these celebrities who take time out

to do a side business because I always think of them doing this for their passion especially when it comes to acting or musicians. Yeah, yeah. But it's not taking time out.

It's after they've gained all their fortune. They retire to a hobby farm where they can raise pistachios. But things like the bassist of Blur, he's not really done yet.

I think they're done. You think they're done? Damon Albarn has gone on? Yeah, I think they've made their money. No one's buying tickets to a Blur reunion. Like Maynard, the lead singer of Tool, he has a 15-acre winery in Arizona. Is that right?

Yeah. And they made a documentary about Pat Noswalt is one of the guests on the documentary because he's a wine connoisseur and a wine lover. And he's there talking about how hard it is. It makes no business sense to grow wine in 15 acres. It's like just crazy to do that kind of thing. But does he, is it a successful venture or a horrible? He's getting a lot of notice.

Sure. I don't know if his wines are ready yet, but. And then Dan Aykroyd with his, uh... Oh, yeah. His Crystal Head Vodka. And, of course, Danny DeVito's Limoncello. Oh, right. And Danny Glover's Isotoner Clubs. Danny Glover does a lot of, uh,

volunteer work. I'm not joking around. Apparently, I listened to the, uh... It really sounded like you were joking around. No, it was the commentary on the Royal Tenenbaums, and Wes Anderson is just talking about what a great guy Danny Glover is, spends all of his spare time working on these non-profit organizations. Really?

Yeah. It's weird, because I feel like celebrities, they always have these weird projects kind of in the wings. Like that thing that Seth MacFarlane, like he's going to do a reboot of the Flintstones. Yeah, but that's not... But he said that's his thing that he always wanted to do. That he's always wanted to do? Yeah, it's like, well, why do that?

It's not a thing anybody wants. Right? Yeah, you're right Well, I mean, he basically does Like, the family guy I mean, the Simpsons is kind of like the Flintstones Sure As his family guy

Yeah I mean, why? Why? So many whys Yeah, that's a lot like Danny Glover's charity work Okay, next over here I think you were serious there Yeah, I's a lot like Danny Glover's charity work. Okay, next over. I think he was serious there. I thought he was joking.

Hey, Dave and Graham. This is Henry in Los Angeles. I have an over-reg for you. I'm standing outside my apartment right now, and this is a piece of cardboard stapled to a tree. Oh, and just imagine some crazy punctuation in here also, because that's not going to come through. It goes, big smart snake got out

harmless easy to pick up five foot and then there's a phone number big smart snake got up i'm the the scary part is that he's smart yeah he's one of the he's like the sharks in deep blue sea yeah they made the snake smarter they're hyper intelligent so smart it escaped yeah they're clever girls yeah that's why I keep the trouser shutter shut. Easy breezy, beautiful, clever girls. Yeah, I'm not afraid that it's a big snake. I'm afraid that it's a smart snake.

Like smart water, or a smart bomb. Yeah, or being heart smart. Be snake smart, Dave. Yeah, egg whites only. Yeah, I've picked up a snake before that I found. And then I stomped it. Yeah, and Dave stomped on its head.

You know, I think if they were poisonous... But this was a five-foot snake. Five-foot snake, that seems like... But harmless. But how is that harmless, though? Because surely it's going to scare somebody into doing something crazy like jumping out in the middle i didn't know there was such a thing as a five foot like he probably means non-venomous yeah like it still has a capacity to

probably like you know bull constrictors are non-venomous sure but if they're big enough they'll they'll they'll constrict yeah isn't there a thing when you're a kid that something about a guy's wiener and it was like, she thought it was a snake, and she beat it with a rake. There's some kind of... Is this from your script for Urban Legends? Yeah, about a guy with a snake for a penis. Yeah.

Okay, update to the Urban Legends script. It's now got schoolyard rhymes. Mr. T took a pee in a coconut tree. She thought it was a snake, and she beat it with a rake. Something, I'm going to remember how the rest of it goes. Pink, pink, you stink, riding on a horse's dink. Yep. Paul, you got any?

Just shut them trousers. Yeah. Big Mama's House 3, shut them trousers. And one more. Hey there, Graham and possible guests. This is Graham from Augusta. He's calling in with an overseen.

Being from the south, we get a lot of crazy people, and I am currently following a truck advertising decals and just five of the many decals in the back of this that they are examples that they can do decals of.

They are George Bush, Twin Towers, NASCAR, Banana Split, And Transformers So what was it George Bush George Bush Twin Towers NASCAR A banana split I thought when he said Twin Towers

I thought he said Clint George Bush Clint Howard NASCAR I was like said Clint Howard. George Bush, Clint Howard, master. I was like, why would there be such an event for a Clint Howard decal? Oh, but now that I think of it, it sounds really, really good. Decal or decal? Decal. Well, decal.

How do you say it? I say decal. Okay, I say decal. Like freckle. Yeah. Like Declan McManus. Like a freak gal. Now, that could be a new thing, the Clint Howard Declan.

That could become the new Obey sticker, like the Andre the Giant thing. Right, sure. You know what I'm talking about? Yeah, I know what you're referring to. I don't know. You don't know who's going to start doing that? Yeah. Probably nobody.

I'm going to go ahead and say nobody. Clint Howard. Okay. Now, we wanted to do one more segment. This is, well, we were guests on a radio show.

What's so funny? Yeah, with Guy McPherson, former guest of our own show. And he took calls, we took calls, and people called up. And I think it was dana who asked us to uh do an old segment on our show that's right and uh if it wasn't i apologize but the

the segment she suggested was celebrity crush hat let's play the theme song celebrity crush hat crush in the hats celebrity crush. Go fuck yourself. Celebrity crush hats. Chapeau chinois. Celebrity crush hat. Crush hat. Okay. So celebrity crush hat. We haven't done this in a very long time. We used to do it with an actual hat where we would cut up your, a bunch of different ages and you would pick a number out of a hat. And then we would ask you what celebrity you had a crush on at that age. Celebrity crush hat. It's just that simple.

Chapeau chinois. Now, instead, I just used a random number generator on the internet. Random.org. Is that right? Yeah. Nice. And so, Paul. Yes.

The number we've come up with is 15. 15. This is right in the middle of your teenage years. Yeah, this is a hot to trot time for anybody who's in the crush hat world. 15. I think that was the girl on, oh, jeez, what's her name? It wasn't Erin Gray. No, that's not a person.

No, Sasha Gray. Oh, no, we picked, Paul name? It wasn't Erin Gray. No, that's not a person. No. Sasha Gray. Oh, no, we picked... Paul doesn't know the names of the celebrities. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. 15 years old. She was on... There's a poster of her. I still remember the red bathing suit.

Farrah Fawcett? No, no. She was on a small... She was with T.J. Hooker. Who's the girl from T.J. Hooker? Farrah Fawcett? Was it Farrah Fawcett and T.J. Hooker? Sonic. Cheryl Teague? She was with T.J. Hooker. Who was the girl from T.J. Hooker? Farrah Fawcett? Was it Farrah Fawcett and T.J. Hooker? Tawny Katane?

Cheryl Teague? Tawny Katane I had a fresh on during that time, too, because that's when the White Snakes thing came out. Yeah. White Snakes thing came out, right, guys? Yes. Out of his pants. Trouser shutters.

So you don't know who you're talking about. I don't know who I'm talking about. All I remember is the poster. I mean, the classic, uh, blonde in a red bathing suit is Farrah Fawcett. I did not have a crush on her. No. Yeah. Okay.

And then the next famous blonde in a red bathing suit. Alexandra Paul. Who is that? She was the other one on, uh, on, um, on Baywatch. Bayview. Yeah. She had the short hair. She, she was in Dragnet as well.

Oh, sure, okay. The Virgin Connie Swale. So if any of your listeners can help out this old man, remember any posters hanging up with the red bathing suit that's not Farrah Fawcett. So is that it?

Is that the only one? It's hazy. It is hazy. I was never good with names. We haven't done this in a long time. 15. I think we've done 15 before. I'm thinking of maybe an Alicia Silverstone.

I was thinking also an Alicia Silverstone. Yeah. But I feel like maybe that was, yeah, no, that seems like it'd be right smack dab in the, uh, right. Clean List was about 1996. Sure. So I. I also had a longstanding thing for Winona Ryder that I think went well into my teen years.

Oh, I mean, I certainly carried a torch for Lisa Loeb for 20 years. When did... You know, pre-Reality Bites. When did Empire... That movie, Empire Records, come out? That would have been in 96, 97. Okay, because then lived Tyler in that with her. Yeah, not even the movie, just the cover.

Yeah, right? The skirt and the sweater. Did that not define a generation? The kids that are in school now, I wonder who they teach that in history? Well, obviously not. Past hotties? Oh, you guys don't know poster girls like I used, obviously not. Past hotties? Oh, you guys don't know poster girls like I used to know the past hotties. History of the hottie.

Oh, I'd hate to have to go back to like 18th century hotties. What about Anne of Green Gables? I guess that's 19th century. No, but what's her name? The one that was the... she was a good, she was good with revolvers. She was in Character and Deadwood. You know who I'm talking about? Annie Oakley.

Annie Oakley. Yeah, she would have been a sexy fox back in the day, right? The unsinkable Molly Brown. Mary Queen of Scots. You know. Going way back Your Cleopatra Right Yeah

Who's the The messenger What was her name Oh Queen Elizabeth Wasn't it Nope Joan of Arc Joan of Arc

Oh sure yeah I only know the The movie Version of it Starring Mila Jovovich Yeah that's why you think She's a lot Yeah Well Joan of Arc was later In Resident Evil right Mona Lisa version of it starring mila jovovich yeah that's why you think she's a lot yeah uh well

joan of arc was later in resident evil right mona lisa was she considered uh she was considered a looker i don't get that isn't that why that's so famous because she's so hot she was the original farrah faucet um yeah thumbs down mona lisa um who are who would be would be... You're an older gentleman, Paul. Who would be considered a hottie from pre-20th century? From pre-20th century? And you're a history teacher, or you have been a history teacher.

No, I was an English teacher. Yep. A lot of overlap. Oh, you know who was cute? Amelia Earhart. She was pretty good looking, right, guys? No? Sure, yeah, but that's 20th century.

I mean, pre-photography. Oh, like somebody was drawn? Very difficult. You'd have to, like, I think people more developed crushes around people that they physically had to see. Oh, what about Clamshell Lady from... From that... The lady what lives in the clamshell. Yeah, the birth of Venus? Yeah. venus body chelly ravioli i think that might have been body chelly yeah it is body chelly

body chelly's afro uh venus afro lady yeah i'm so i'm surprised you know any artists who weren't also ninja turtles he wasn't a ninja turtle no he was the robot one, right? He was the robot Ninja Turtle. Let's see. Donatello does machines. Michelangelo is a party dude. Botticelli likes clams. Well, we really got to the bottom of this. Alicia Silverstone just had a kid, so happy birthday.

Yeah, so sorry, fellas. Yeah, right? She's off the market? She's taken by her baby? Well, I mean, she was probably in love with the man who impregnated her. Wouldn't that be the greatest? If that happened like that? It could happen to you.

Richard Falk. Oh, goodness. You know what kids in school, in grade nine, know who they have crushes on now? Oh, yeah. Yeah, who? The women? Yeah, who? Female wrestling who the women yeah female wrestling serious they watch them all the time whenever they have youtube i promise them internet time if they're good they all go on and watch wrestling together on youtube and it's always the the like what do you guys i caught them watching something what are you guys watching i turn it off i look at the search history i turned it on it was lingerie fights

in the ring they have pillow fights lingerie fights there's a water fight and they looked embarrassed i'm like oh no that's fine but that's their crushes yeah mula these huge women that can kill them that's their china trish stratus um uh uh something martel model martin no there was a female Martel. Cindy Lauper. Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling. Yeah, glow. That's for the youngsters out there. Yeah, you'll learn that in your history

of hotties class. The Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling. The age of age. I even threw out Mila Kunis at them, like, don't you like girls like these? And they were like, nah. Oh, are you kidding me? Wow. Wrestling girls. You literally threw out Mila Kunis at them like, don't you like girls like these? And they were like, nah. No. Are you kidding me? Wow. Wrestling girls.

You literally threw out Mila Kunis at them. It's part of the wrestling culture. You don't know. Wow. Well, you know what? I feel like I learned something here today.

I feel like chicken tonight. Now, Paul Bae, if people want to find you online, where would you direct them? Where would they go? They could go to my Twitter page, Paul S. Bae. That's Bae with a people want to find you online, where would you direct them? Where would they go? They could go to my Twitter page, Paul S. Bae.

That's Bae with a B-A-E. Or they can go to my blog, plasticrammon.com. Yeah, it's a very good blog. You post a lot of really cool videos and links to different kind of cool things that are happening. Yeah, then I took a three-week vacation and my viewers plummeted by thousands. Yeah, well, that's what happens with with blocks do you say ramen or ramen i say i should say ramen plastic ramen i always say ramen though because the plastics in front of it sounds faker with that authentic deckle ramen deckle okay uh everybody loves ramen dave do you have things that you

would like to plug? I know that the Adultery Pilot, we talked about that last week, and we've got a lot of positive feedback on that, but yeah, if you've listened to that, please email the address listed at the end of that episode, because it's just a pilot, and... Like a young

Amelia Earhart. Yeah, any positive feedback we could get, we could use to maybe make it become a full-time show. That would be pretty good. And also, I was telling Dave on the way here that I went on a CBC Radio 3 listening binge and listened to four episodes in a row of the podcast that you do, the R330 podcast.

It's fantastic. Yeah. Thank you. Yeah, it's really enjoyable. It's fantastic. It's really enjoyable. It's new music every week. It's some delightful banter. Not banter. It's just you talking to yourself. By myself, yeah.

But it's fun. It's light. Great office listening. It's really light. I don't cover any heavy issues by myself in between indie rock songs. Great debates. It's like Crossfire. But yeah, if you want to get in touch with us, issues by myself in between indie rock songs. Great debates. Yeah, sure. It's like crossfire.

Yeah. But yeah, if you want to get in touch with us, it is stoppodcastyourself at gmail.com or you can call us at 206-339-8328. And if you want to be a sponsor on the show, like our friend, the busman's holiday that like our friend the busman's holiday that we were talking about earlier you can go to maximumfun.org slash jumbotron

I was going to say billboard but it's jumbotron and you can find out all the information there and if you like the show please tell your friends and come on back next week for another pants shuddering episode of stop podcasting yourself trouser shattering.