Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 210 - Alicia Tobin

Episode Date: March 27, 2012

Comedian Alicia Tobin returns to talk about sexy music, neighbourhood drunks, and eating with strangers.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 210 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a guy who used to be a teenage dirtbag, but not anymore. He's grown up into an adult dirt man. Mr. Dave Shumka. Did you hear that song today or something?

By Quidus? Yeah, it was on, for some reason it was on my television when I woke up. Oh, were you watching... Much more music. Were you watching the movie The New Guy? Was that with DJ Qualls? That's what I mean. The new kid, the new...

I feel like it was... What's his name is in the movie? American Pie. Big Z? Yeah. Oh, could it have been Loser? Was it? Yes.

Yeah. It was him and the other. It was a girl from American Pie as well. Mina Suvari? Mina Suvari. What was? I think it was Loser. Okay.

Yeah. That makes sense. I think that's the. She only did movies. Oh, she only did movies that had American in the title. Right. Because she was an American pie. Pie.

American beauty. American splendor. Virgin. American virgin. She was never an American splendor. Yeah, she was a cartoon. Yeah, she played one of Harvey P. Carr's. She was depression.

Yeah, she represented depression. Now, before we introduce our guest, hey everybody, welcome to the Max Fun Drive, the first of two Max Fun Drive episodes. We will be taking donations on the phone later in the show. Yeah, donations, shoutouts to lovers, music requests, and, you know, call us if you hate Mondays. Tell us all about it. Our guest today, very funny lady.

Lady who's been on, I was going to say, five-time guest? I think so. And a fan favorite. Somebody that people ask, you know, there was somebody who wrote just like a week ago, like, by my schedule, it's time to have this guest back. I don't know what kind of schedule. I think he was a Mayan. Yes.

We've got to have her on before the end of the world. That was thoughtful. Yeah. Our guest today, very funny and lovely lady, Miss Alicia Tobin. Hi, bumpers. Hey, Alicia. Hey, Alicia. Let's get to know us.

Get to know us. Hey, guys. Yes. You were mentioning American Pie earlier. I was. Have you seen the previews for American Reunion? No. Well, it's the guys from American Pie.

I'll tell you all you need to know. What channel? No, it's not a tv show it's a movie yeah and that is i guess not going straight to dvd no it's going into it's going into theaters and into the history books as the biggest earner of all time here's my question i did the math it's a grower not a shower the movie the original american i don't know what that means the original american pie came out in 1999. So they're having their big 13-year reunion that everyone celebrates?

Yeah, they went to unlucky high. They went to murder high. Yeah. It was supposed to be a 10th reunion, but they went to development hell high um i feel like uh when i saw the preview for that movie is uh the only people that that would appeal to are people that don't have a television and don't see american pie on every weekend or some permutate like oh i really miss that the old gang i wish they would get back together. Maybe this is American Pie for a new generation.

Except that they're all oldsters. Then I have no explanation. I think they all lost their virginity in the first one. Spoiler. No, is that right? Yeah, I think they do. I didn't notice that part yeah because kevin klein the guy from fish call one he has sex with uh who does he have sex with

can we start over again oh chris klein yeah ch Yeah, Chris Klein. Yeah, Chris Klein is dating a Suvara. Yeah, and they have sex on a porch or something like that? Yeah, like on a pier. Yeah. No, at a Pier 1 in Ports. It's on Rattan. Everything's Rattan.

I want to start over. Big Z has sex with a pie, and then also with Bandcamp. With Hannigan. Okay, it's not important. Okay. No, but who does St Big Z has sex with a pie, and then also with Bandcamp. With Hannigan. Okay, it's not important. Okay. No, but who does Stifler have sex with? Stifler?

I think Stifler... It's assumed that he already had sex by the time the credits were rolling at the start of the movie? Yeah, he sort of... He's not a good guy. Now, Alicia. Dave. Well, I feel like we've ignored you for far too long. I know.

You know, you could have jumped in if you had anything to say about American Pie. If I cared about that movie. Quick question. Who did Finch have sex with? Oh, I know. Stifler's mom. Yeah. Such a look of disappointment.

I'm not playing. Tell us about you. Tell us what's going on. You're studying in a nutrition program that you're almost finished. Almost done. I'm almost a holistic nutritionist. Which is crazy. What?

Yeah. Dave is in disbelief. What does almost get you? Nothing. Okay. Next to nothing. A garbage bag filled with nothing. Oh, okay. So just a garbage bag. Yeah. Okay. Next to nothing. A garbage bag filled with nothing. Oh, okay.

So just a garbage bag. Yeah. Flat. So you're doing that. What else are you doing? Tell us. Tell us. Don't let me tell you.

Well, if you give me a chance. What do you think about American Pie? Fudge. Have you seen any of the sequels of American Pie? I don't think so. Do you like that Eugene Levy is the thread? Yeah, I've seen one with Eugene Levy in it. Yeah, he plays Jim's dad. In the new one, Jim's

dad and Silver's mom give each other the eyes. Oh, really? That's great, guys. But isn't... Isn't... Isn't his dad married to his mom? No, she died in a blimp accident. American blimp.

So tell us, what's going on? American Pie Wise. American Pie Wise, I'm going home! Do stand-up comedy. How's that treating you? Oh, it's an excellent way to spend your time. And make some money on the side. Yeah, I'm getting in shape.

You are getting in shape, right? Yeah. You've lost weight. A little bit. How muchy? Well, I don't want to discuss this. Well, what do you want to discuss? I gave you a whole open door to discuss.

You said you're working out. You're losing weight. Yeah, I was like, I didn't say I was losing weight. Oh, okay. But you have lost weight. I have, yeah. But it's not about that. It's about feeling better. Special K? Yeah k yeah okay what are you doing to work out i don't work out i want

to walk oh i do that yeah yeah you walk but you really do like several hours a day sometimes yeah yeah hither and thither yeah uphill downhill um what else um I like to do Twittering, and I draw at home a lot, and I hang out with my friends. What's that like? It's nice. Yeah. I'm hanging out with you guys right now. It's really good. Yeah, it's fun.

This is business. It's not pleasure, that's for sure. Not yet. I don't mean that in a gross way. I just mean we're having some trouble getting past American Pie. Yeah, I know. Do you guys want to take a break? Nope.

Get it all out of your system? Do you want to quickly go watch a Van Wilder movie? Kind of cleanse the palate? Yeah. Yeah. I like to talk to you guys. Yeah. Do you?

I've noticed something interesting in the neighborhood I want to discuss. Oh, yes. Let's do that. Okay. So the other day I was walking down the street neighborhood I want to discuss. Oh, yes. Let's do that. Okay. So the other day I was walking down the street and I saw a pigeon that had been eaten, but only half of it had been eaten and it was freshly killed. Which half? The top half.

Beak part. Beak part, top part. Really? Most of the wings. And then everything else was left behind. Yeah. And it was done in like one chomp. Gross.

Yeah. And then I've seen like four or five so you finished it off so i finished it off pretty good the french are right delicious i mean delicious um and there's a coyote in the neighborhood and it's like taking care of the birds and the cats like nobody's business on my street but just a little bit here and there not finishing the bird i think he gets startled or something he He's like, and then he leaves. Yeah, he's doing it like hors d'oeuvres. Just taking a little, trying to be fancy, taking little bites.

There's so many snacks. He doesn't have to finish each one. He's doing the Sylvester the cat thing where he puts on a little handkerchief. He catches the bird, puts on a little handkerchief, puts salt on it. Speaking of great bird things. Well, I don't know if yours was great or horrifying but it was horrifying but now it's become like a mystery to solve the coyote did it yeah he was in the backyard the other day and i was like oh i guess yeah do you then it would be like on law and order if the third bill the guest star was coyoyote. You'd be like, oh, I bet you that's going to come. Yeah.

Oh, Piper Parabos in this episode. And a coyote. I, you guys know downtown, like, on Pender Street, there's this glass dome that's just kind of, it's on Pender and Seymour. And there's, like, benches underneath it. and it's, like, nice in the summertime. It's kind of like, do you know what I'm talking about? It's just, like, an outdoor, it's kind of in the middle of a business park or whatever. Sure. Anyways, glass dome, and yesterday when I was sitting in it eating a slice of pizza, I looked up, and there were two seagulls sitting on the glass dome and you could see their seagull feet

all tucked underneath their seagull body. They have beautiful feet. Yeah, but I never have seen them like that. They don't get enough credit for their feet. They're actually really beautiful birds. Yeah, they got the same situation as a duck. Foot-wise.

Foot-wise, same. Yeah, if you're fitting seagulls for shoes. if you didn't look up. You know what shoes would work for those guys? Crocs. Sure. Crocs, I think, work for everyone. You know what else would work for them?

Just like a nacho chip with an elastic band around it. They'd eat it right away. Yeah, they're idiots. Don't know. They have a lot of bets. They're like, oh yeah, if I don't poop on this guy, I'll eat my shoe. Oh, I hope I poop on this guy and get to eat my shoe. And then this was something we never mentioned on the podcast.

When Dave and I were in Toronto, we saw pigeons, like the smartest, most awesome streetwise pigeons ever. Because it was a freezing cold day and there was subway grates kind of on the street. And these pigeons were all hunkered down on top of it, like all poofed out.

Really smart street pigeons. Really had been around the block. I can't believe you've never told me that story before. Yeah, well I was saving it up for the first location. Yeah. It was worth it for you to get mad at him for not telling you. Yeah. Dave, how are you? I'm good. Yeah.

Are we moving? We're done with you? Yeah, is that it? I thought we were done like five minutes ago. No, we've got a lot of coyote ground to cover. So tell me about this local coyote. What's his name? How scraggly is he? We should name him. Yeah. I don't know if it's a boy or a girl.

He wouldn't let me get that close. Oh, did you see him? Yeah. Wow. We should pick a name that could be either a boy or a girl, like Jennifer. Lee. Oh, Lee's good. Yeah, Jennifer.

Lee. Such a boring name. Lee. There's no animals named that. I love it. Lee Coyote. Yeah. Wile E. Coyote.

Oh, wait a minute. You just took that from Wile E. Coyote. No, I didn't. People will ask you, why Lee Coyote? Just Lee. Is it a not gender specific name? I chose Lee. Would you spell it with the L-E-E or L-E-I-G-H? Oh, no.

Or L-I, right? Oh, yeah. Or L-Y. I've also seen it L-E-A. No. Yeah. But I think that's a girl's name. Le.

Le. Le. From the 70s. You know that song? That one? from the 70s you know that song that one my mom used to always play it and she had a brass band oh gross she was singing it to herself oh mom please turn it off and she says this is a sexy song alicia and i'm like no it's not your your mom her her like sex song was Lay Lady Lay? Wait, wait. And she would tell this to you? I don't know that it was her sex song.

Oh, she told me everything. But why did you say she had a brass band? Don't tell your children everything. I'm confused. I'm confused what happened. She would put on that Bob Dylan song. Okay, so for people who didn't catch the lyrics from your Crazed Mumbles, it's Lay Lady lady, lay, lay across my big brass bed. Yeah.

And then I'm going to give it to you Bob Dylan style. Pretty much. I'm going to fall off my motorcycle. My clothes are dirty, but my hands are clean. Yeah, tonight I go electric. And you're the best thing that I've ever seen. That's not really it, is it? Lay, lady, lay.

And you'll shout at Judas. Lay across my big brass bed. Is this the mini pops version? And my mom would stick her tongue out between her lips and go, isn't this sexy? I thought that you said that your mom would put this song on when she was on her big brass bed. That's what I got out of it. No. That was her sex song.

I don't know why. How old was she? Were you when she was asking you, isn't this sexy? Far too young. You weren't old enough to know what sexy was. I don't know if I should tell you, but I should tell you about how I learned about the birds and the bees.

Yeah, you should. Well, the coyotes eat the birds. Then they get chased by the bees. I do want to learn about this. Yes, me too. Okay, so I grew up in Quebec, just outside of Montreal. Quebec is our Frenchiest province.

It's the queebiest. There was a snowstorm. I don't know if I can do this. You can and will. Okay, so I guess I was 12 or 13, and we were trapped in a blizzard, which will happen. It will take hours to get home. and we were trapped in a blizzard, which will happen. It will take hours to get home.

I'm trying not to laugh, but I'm imagining. Just like, we're going to be here for a while, everybody. Let's all get comfortable. Let me just put on my favorite song. Lay, lay, lay. Okay, you were 12. Old enough to already know about the person. Yeah, something you should have taken in school, right?

In a snowstorm. Yeah. And I don't know how the subject, we got onto the subject of sex. I'm sure it wasn't me. And then she proceeded to tell me, like, all the things about sex that she thought I should know, including why a woman would give a man one of those things. Words like, phrases like, a very special taste. What? And I didn't have sex until I was 20.

Oh, man. It just went on and on and there's just the snow and it was minus 40, so you can't get out of the car and walk. You can't walk that. You gotta stay there.

You were in a car. Trapped in a car. Oh, I just thought it was funny. And my mother chain smokes. So I'm learning about sex and i'm also gonna pass out and die of cancer oh wow uh special taste

yeah i'm sorry i don't i had a half a glass of wine my face is burning oh but there was like always stories like that like just when i thought i could have a normal afternoon alicia alicia tell me if you think this song is sexy tell me who's sexy when i stick my tongue out like this yeah i'm smoking four cigarettes at once sexy sexy dance that was That was really weird. Wow. Yeah. Okay. No, I mean, you know, it's like... What is it like? Horrible? It's horrible.

It's weird because we were talking about sex ed class last week. Every day of our lives. Yeah, every day of our lives. But the thing when you... As soon as you said this very special taste, it like totally reminded me of the first sex ed teacher that we had that i don't know if it was in the curriculum or she decided to wing it one day you gotta you gotta be like this is bull i can i know what I know what.

There was a guy in our sex ed class, my friend Chad, and at some point she said, I don't want to say it, it's super gross, but it was about like. The teacher said. This is the teacher. Said something gross. Said about the taste. And Chad fell out of his desk and she told him he had to leave the room. But it was like... So did he ever find out what it tasted like? Well, as soon as she said about taste, he fell out like he was having a seizure.

Because he was laughing so hard. Because he knew it was inappropriate. Well, and it was. There's no way that it was in the curriculum like, be sure to tell them about the taste. Wow. Yeah. It was really like, it was more of an insight into her personal way that she does things.

Sometimes the men won't call you back. Sometimes you'll cry. And that's all right. But I just remember her saying chad leave laughing so hard oh i bet lady lady taste lady taste um uh wow um dave what's going on with you well i also have a neighborhood thing uh there's a couple of them actually uh just walking the dog and like being out in the morning i've noticed a couple of things one uh i see a lot of people one person even on the bus carrying you know when someone's carrying a travel mug or like a commuter mug a mug for their coffee

just something just something that's made to be transported and keep your coffee warm I've been seeing a lot of people just with kitchen mugs just out and about drinking like what control yeah drinking coffee out of their just regular mug i feel like there's a lot of and tell me if you agree with this at all that there's a lot of people in this city that

that have just kind of given up yeah right like it's like i'm never gonna be able to own a house or like be a citizen of the city for my life, so I'm just going to drink coffee out of a mug. I'm just going to throw hot coffee on people. I'm just going to kind of just fucking just let it happen as it happens, you know? Yeah. One curler in that kind of thing. Yeah, that is, I don't know what that is, because it's not, it's just a lack of planning, I guess. Yeah, I guess. Yeah, I guess. But it's like, if you had a cup in a minivan or something

like that, you could see that happening. But these are people just walking down the street with a cup. Or on the bus. With a ceramic basket. Just a regular sized cup. Yeah. Well, that's ridiculous. Don't approve. Are you sure they're not panhandling? Oh yeah, I do put

coins into them. Maybe they're sleepwalking. They fell asleep mid-coffee. Oh, how convenient would that be if you could sleepwalk and get dressed and make your way to work and then you wake up the moment you get to work. This is how much you hate

taking the bus. Yeah. Oh my god. Today I always had the biggest frown. Wouldn't it be greater still if you just sleptwalked through your whole day and then as soon as you walked home and got into your house you woke up and you were like super refreshed but you'd also done the day of work.

Yeah. Oh man. And your boss is like, I feel like you're sleepwalking through this. And you sleepwalk. But he's also sleepwalking. You sleep talk the words, I can be be better you're both sharing a dream it's your inception everybody in your office is snoring but they're doing their work and they answer the phone resources resources. Oh, man.

So that's one thing that's going on. And the other thing is the other day I was walking my dog and I saw a man walking his dog or so I assumed. And he had like a big sort of tall bulldog looking thing. Like an American bulldog.

Okay. What was the difference? A British bulldog is like a... A wrestler. A round. Sort of like a lower to the ground. It's the kind you like with the crooked legs. Yeah.

The super chubby. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, yeah. And the American bulldog is like the dog from the Little Rascals. Oh, nice. With the patch eye. Yeah is like the dog from the Little Rascals. Oh, nice. With the patch eye. Yeah. Lee the dog.

And so I'm walking my dog and this guy comes up with this big dog and he's like, I don't know how this dog is going to react to your dog. It's not my dog. I'm just walking him. And I was like, they seem to get along don't worry about it and then the guy was like oh man i uh it was six o'clock at night yeah and the guy was like i've been drinking and uh but he was like yeah i'm I'm going out later. I'm going to this show. Do you know the band Tool?

And I was like, yeah. Well, the guy from Tool is in this other band called Pucifer. And it's kind of like a theater rock band. And he's giving me this whole story about this show he's going to and the dogs are done smelling each other and they're ready to move on. And now he's like human smelling you yeah and all i'm really hearing is i'm drunk and i have a dog that doesn't belong to me and so he keeps telling me and i'm like everything he's saying i'm just like yes yes i've heard of that well bye oh man i like the uh have you heard

of tools sounded like a setup to like one of those old-time jokes like have you heard of tool and you're like yeah and he's like i make tools for a band called bucephur um yeah it was uh it was like he he he admitted he was drunk before he needed to. I couldn't tell. Yeah. I could not. Our interaction was supposed to be 10 seconds long. Uh, and, uh, he, yeah, he admitted that way too early and then had to justify it.

He also admitted, uh, that like, what was the, what was the point in bringing up the concert? Did he have a spare ticket? No, no, that's why he was drunk. He's like, I hate this music. I gotta get drunk before I go to this concert. I'm so excited I had to start drinking in the middle of the afternoon so I could ruin the night.

So I could be drunk by six before the van takes the stage in five hours. I'm taking care of my friend's dog and his liquor cabinet. Yeah. And my parents left town. in five hours. I'm taking care of my friend's dog and his liquor cabinet. My parents left town. So I'm throwing a huge party. You should come.

Bring girls. Hey, you can bring that cool dog with you too. Our dog seems to get along. Is Tool, are they still around? Is that still going? Probably. Rocking concern? They were never a concern of mine. But yeah, I'm sure they are.

Yeah. Making their weird prog metal. Yeah, power to you, Tool. Power to you. Boo. What? Why? Why?

That's what a lot of people don't know they did the theme song for Home Improvement so that's a lot of my house wacky neighborhood things sure I do I have something for my neighborhood oh yeah this is a

two pronged neighborhood thing and I feel like it was twice that I had an opportunity that I tried to seize upon to just talk with a stranger. And both times went down in flames. Like, just crazy. You know, I'm like, it must be me. Because I had two chances to make this work. Chance one, I was at my favorite Chinese noodle place for lunch. The noodle box.

Yes. And I was standing in line and there was only myself and one other person. And the person, the waitress said, like, would you guys share a table and he went okay like i at the same time he was like okay i was gonna be like no but he beat me to it by like a nanosecond so i was like yeah okay uh so we sat at a table together and uh oh man did that turn awkward so fast oh wow I would have still just been like no

like even if he said okay I would have said nope afraid not I would have said mine's to go yeah see yeah you guys are both smart throw mine in the garbage faster on your feet more self confident so what tell me about this romantic meal you had with a stranger.

This was the, this was the thing is like, I, and I didn't bring, I didn't have anything with me. I didn't have a magazine or, or a phone or anything to like, I was just me.

So I was just like pretending when I, when we sat down, I was pretending that I was going over some list in my head, but really all I was doing was in my head telling my face to make a face that looks like i'm going over a list in my head like someone on a plane just sitting there without a magazine. Yeah. You were like, I wish there was a vomit bag I could be reading. But then the guy that was sitting at the table, he had an iPhone and he was playing with it. And then he took the initiative.

A picture of you. Yeah. And sent it to Crime Stoppers. Yeah. He said. There's an app that can make you look fat. He has that farting app. Farting on Graham.

It's him. So, I... Like, he decided to strike up a conversation. He went... He's like, I wonder where this place will move when they do development in this neighborhood i guess they're gonna do development in the block uh that the restaurant's in and he's like i i wonder where it'll move and i thought okay this is my inn so i said i hope not far and then literally he just went back to looking at his phone, like, I'm out.

This guy's a jackass. So then I had to just sit there and re-pretend that I was going, oh, I gotta go back to my brain list. You know what? He interrupted me. I gotta start from the beginning. So that was a big... Oh, man.

Yeah, that was a big fail, Source Rex. Please don't use that expression. It was so bad. And then the next day, I went to the laundromat. And usually there's nobody in the laundromat except... That same guy was there. Wonder what's going to happen to your laundry when it's done

do you guys mind sharing a machine I'm like no and he's like yeah so I was in there and there was a girl in there and there was so I was just sitting there again didn't bring anything with me to occupy my time.

I had an iPod, but I wasn't listening to it. And then some kids came in, and at the laundromat they have tennis balls that you can throw in the dryer to, like, fluff up your laundry. Do you know this? To play fetch with your clothes? I've heard about that, yes. Yeah, these kids came in with their dad and just started throwing the balls all over the place. It was pretty funny. Yeah, why wouldn't you?

So myself and this girl that was sitting there waiting for her laundry to be done, we, hey, these crazy kids, you know, and I was like, okay, I'm going to talk to this person because I'm here for like a solid, you know, two hours. And I couldn't think, there was no way in. I was like a solid, you know, two hours. And I couldn't think. There was no way in. I was like, how do you? What was she doing? Was she reading something?

No, she was looking at watching the kids go crazy with these tennis balls. Okay, she wasn't trying to come up with a list in her head. Oh, maybe that's exactly what she was doing. I'm very busy. Let's see. I have one black sock. She's trying to count the clothes as they're rotating. Like they're jelly beans in a jar.

What is that pink thing? Oh, what's making that sound in there? Did I leave a coin? Oh, I never found out where my remote is. Maybe I accidentally put it in the laundry. Why do you stay there while you're doing the laundry? Why don't you go do something? Like what?

Go read magazines. Yeah, go next door to the 7-Eleven. I'm the shopper's dogmite. You guys are right. You guys are both not wrong. You were right. I should have got my noodles to go. I should have gone and read a magazine.

But instead, I was like, hey, I'll try and make a stranger friend. And so when she went to go take her laundry out, the door was stuck. You helped her. I did. And I was like the Fonz, because I know how to open these laundry doors. When she went to go take her laundry out, the door was stuck. You helped her. I did. And I was like the Fonz, because I know how to open these laundry doors.

So I just hit it, and it popped open. I was like, well, that's my inn right there. Nothing. And so I asked her about her laundry detergent. Great, smooth. I was like Kevin Arnold. It was like the Wonder Years in my own head. And I was like, ugh, Graham. That's not good at all.

Your brother came along and gave you noogies and called you a scrub. So, yeah. So then she did pretty much the exact same thing as the noodle guy, where she answered a question, and then that was it. It's tied. Don't you know how to read? Yeah. Yeah, it's weird when you spell backwards. Edit.

No? Nothing? Okay. So those were my two stranger friend failures. Congratulations. Those were triumphs. Were they? Why? Because I tried? No. Because I tried? No. Because I was being nice. But it is like I put

myself out there just trying to make friends. Hey, Graham, they're lost. Right? That's what I say. The other guy, you didn't really put yourself out there with the guy. He asked you a question. And I tried to, you know. And you answered it.

Folksy-like, though. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was trying to engage him in a folksy way. I think he. What do you think he wanted me to say? I wonder. Yeah, I'm. I understand her.

He was trying to make a decision on an investment. And you didn't at all pick up on it. Maybe he was a businessman. Like I was supposed to be like, yeah, I would relocate to this district. Absolutely. Oh, shit. Or maybe he was like a... You should have put your noodles all over your face where your beard is.

I just sat there. Maybe he's a spy and he was meeting a contact and they were like, ask your contact. Say to your contact, I hope the noodle place moves. And he was text messaging, is there any chance he looks like a longshoreman? Yeah, so it's weird. It's weird that, I don't know. It's tough. The big city, tough to meet friends, right?

Tough to make friends. And, you know, I thought for sure I was in my element with opening up that laundry door. Right? Isn't that a good in? Yeah, unless she wants to be left alone. No, she couldn't get it open, though. Yeah. Well, she helps you.

So a normal person would say thank you and then have a normal conversation. Yeah. You're not at fault here. Right? You're not at fault, but... But I didn't win. But she's not thinking about this exchange right now. What if she is, though?

Oh. Also, this morning when I was walking just out of the train station, there was... Did you pass the Dempster's Bagel Patrol? No. That was a really awkward situation, too. I guess maybe a three for three on awkward situations, because you guys know Dempster's Bread, right? Yeah.

Makers of fine breads and bagels. Yeah, yeah. They're a Canadian bread company. They make a bread. Like a sliced bread. It's the greatest thing. They make a bread. Like a sliced bread.

It's the greatest thing. There was like a downtown bagel patrol, and they had like a big display, and they were asking people as they walked by, hey, do you want a toasted bagel? And I was like, I really do. You love toasted bagels. They're amazing. And bagels don't get better than when they're from a company that just decided one day to start making bagels.

Like you mean they made bread and then all of a sudden they were like, hey, we can make these. I got a new tin. We got a circle tin. So I was like, yeah, I do want a bagel. And then she said, oh, you just have to go around the corner. And it was like in Goodfellas when Robert De Niro was like, no, just go down. Just go around the corner. And it was like in Goodfellas when Robert De Niro was like, no, just go down the... Just go around the corner.

Just start digging. So I didn't go because I was like, oh, this seems like a really... Like Dempster presents, you got bageled. I go around the corner and a big bagel jumps on me. Or something. We have to eat noodles together

in this giant bagel. Do you want to share some cream cheese? No. Yes. We both want to be covered in cream cheese at the same time. Yeah. You guys mind sharing a schmear? Ew.

What if at the noodle place they just brought one big bowl for the two of you with two straws? It would be funny if they brought it over like you were sharing the meal and then you did eat some of his. Yeah. Like I was like,

can I just try? I don't want all of it. Yeah. I think I should relocate some of this to my mouth. They sit us at the heart-shaped table. Oh! And then they're like... You're their millionth customer. Exactly.

All this confetti comes down. You're our millionth set of lovers. Yeah. And then everybody's like, propose, propose. We'll put up by you in a honeymoon suite. Yeah, did I mention this noodle place was italian noodles yeah whenever you say noodle place it's never just a pasta place because those are that's also a noodle place right it's one of our finest noodles um have you ever had a an attempt at making friends with strangers? This reminded me of a story a few,

well, every day of my life. I'm pretty friendly, so. But this one time I helped this blind man across the street on Davie Street, and then he held my hand and he took me to this Greek restaurant. This was his game. Oh, wow. Yeah, like he was standing beside me he's like oh can you help me find this restaurant i was like oh it's just up here he's like come on he's like will you have dinner with

me oh wow yeah he's like come check out these menus they're all braille only braille menus in town can you help me find your boobies? I don't want to say what he's going to say. What were you going to say? No, it's too gross. Yeah, come on. Come on. Do it. Special taste.

Can you help me pull back this foreskin? He's blind. He doesn't know his own. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't want you to put that in the podcast. Take it out of the podcast. Grandma's parents listen to us. Oh, good stuff.

It didn't even make sense. Do you want to take care of some business? Yeah. Life can be fun. Don't get carried away. You gotta do the things you don't want to do to get through the day. You gotta shine your shoes. You gotta sweep the floor. You gotta clean your house. So it's time for some business. That's right. And since it is the Max Fun Drive episode, it's only fitting that we talk about the Max Fun Drive.

This is the time of year when you, the listener, our beloved listener. It only comes once a year. Yep. So put on your bells and your whistles and your wigs and your flared pants and your thistles and come on down. Well, you don't have to go anywhere. You can donate from your home. That's what's so great about this age of the internet.

Yeah, you don't have to come down here with cans filled with corn. Yeah, you don't have to go to the fireman's auxiliary. Drop off old coats and blankets. But what do people have to do? Now, we're reaching out to people in the hopes this year, the goal is to add 1000 new members that are, and when we say members, we're talking about people who are giving money on a monthly basis. You can go for as little as $5 a month all the way up to a million dollars a month. Yeah. It seems high, though. It does seem high.

But you know that Warren Buffett, he just wants to get rid of it. He doesn't care about the money. Yeah, he lives in a very reasonable home, apparently. Yeah. And he wears only things he bought at Target. Yeah. Now, here's things he bought at Target. Yeah. Now, here's why we are asking for donations. As a part of the Maximum Fun organization, we get a monthly fee, a monthly payment. A stipend.

A stipend, sure. A taxi chit. And it allows us to pay for our guests' taxis, drinks for our guests. Yeah. We couldn't have gone and done a live show in Toronto if we didn't have the money coming in from the listeners. So that enables us to go and do cool things like that. We've upgraded our gear. We still would like to make some more upgrades.

We do cool things like that. We've upgraded our gear. We still would like to make some more upgrades. And we... We want to create a kind of a perimeter around the house. Yeah. Get those sneaky kids out of the garbage can. And the fact is that Maximum Fun has like five or six different podcasts with hundreds, if not thousands, of total episodes.

All free. All free. Free forever. Yeah, free forever. And you know what? If you donate, if you're a new donor, you will get, there's gifts. There's more incentive than just being awesome, which should be enough. But you know what?

It's 2012, the economy, the internet, Arab Spring. Sure. Right? People want other things. podcasts yeah hunger games um so you know there's uh there's a bunch of different levels of donation that's right if you do the lowest level at which uh we're asking you to donate is five dollars a month and if you do that you will get a special donors only bonus episode of this podcast which is gonna be bust your ass hilarious yeah well it's already available it is bust your ass hilarious yeah

uh and it's a it's the it's our backwards episode yeah and it's gonna be great if you liked memento yeah everything in the wrong order what's up is down what's bad is good yeah we have some dogs that come in and act like cats uh you'll also get bonus episodes of my brother my brother and me judge john hodgman jordan jesse go as uh throwing shade and three rift short films uh we did this last year where we it's like uh the riff tracks uh hilarious short film that we then talk over top of and make hilarious jokes. This year it was a film that was made in the 70s or 60s, maybe. Yeah, I don't know. A long time ago.

It was aimed at people who run convenience stores and teaching them how not to sell beer to minors. Yeah. It's a lost art. Yeah. So you will get all that if you're at the $5 level. If you're at the $10 this isn't $10

all in. This is per month we're talking about. You get all of that that Dave just mentioned and also a MaxFun friendship bracelet that are in the MaxFun colors which are, they're your blues. Your reds. They're mostly MaxFun friendship bracelet that are in the MaxFun colors,

which are... They're your blues. Your reds. They're mostly blues, I think. They're unisex. What does that mean? Does that mean that you have sex with university students? Unisex. Yeah, that's what all bracelets are for. All bracelets are sex bracelets. You earn them by doing sex things. Is that why Lance Armstrong always looks so happy?

Because he's got the yellow one, right? You know what that means. So that's $10 per month. At $20 per month, you enter the Diamond Friendship Circle. You get all of the stuff we mentioned before and a shiny new stainless steel water bottle in a handy on-the-go size screen printed with the tasteful Maximum Fun rocket ship logo. So you don't have to have the word podcast anywhere on you and attract the ire of the neighborhood bullies.

There's more details at MaximumFun.org slash donate. Yeah, everything is listed there. And it's very easy to sign up to donate. It's just a couple step process you can pay either with a paypal account or through a credit card uh very simple it takes uh it would take you less than two minutes right all in uh now at 35 a month that is the next level it is judge john hodgman's post a lot a lot of pop to kill a lot of cattle uh apocalyptic justice squad Apocalyptic Justice Squad. And it has everything mentioned before.

Plus. Plus. A half a bag of Tonks Coffee. Tonks Coffee, if you don't know, T-O-N-X. It is a very fresh coffee, like, in the mail service. Yeah, it's like coffee if Esquire was coffee. Yeah, sure. You get it in the mail service yeah it's like uh coffee if esquire was coffee yeah sure you get it in the mail it's uh it's yeah it's fresh coffee they're very against all the kind of uh pre-packaged freeze-dried yeah all the exact your your crystals your folgers yeah

uh yeah it's a uh coffee service and they're throwing in half a bag for you if you donate. As well, there are some MaxFun playing cards. Mad Libs? Two bubblegum cigars. Packets of Alka-Seltzer? This is for the post-apocalypse. Oh, that's right. Yeah, that's true. So you're going to be playing cards, you're going to be doing Mad Libs,

you're going to get two temporary MaxFun tattoos. Box of Kashi Good Friends breakfast cereal. That's fun for friends. going to be doing mad libs you're going to get two temporary max fun tattoos box of cashy good friends breakfast cereal that's fun for friends that's is that their slogan because it should be i think it's they're great no uh uh headphone splitters for friends to uh share listening experiences and best friends necklaces oh you, you can be all bejeweled. Now, there are higher levels. There's the $50, the $100 level,

the $200 level, and they all have different things you get. You know, the $100 level, if you're in LA, you get a free lunch with Jesse Thorne. And if you're in Vancouver, no one's even asked us to do this.

We'll take you out to a goddamn lunch. At a strip bar. Why did I add in that last part? So, please, donate. Dig into your little pockets. Or your big pockets. Well, Graham, we will probably break in again with some more details.

Do you think? I think we might. All right. But in the meantime, do you want to move on to overheard? Sure. Overheard. Overheards. Things that you may have, you know, overheard, right?

Yep. You could oversee things. Last week somebody overdreamt things that were funny enough. That's a good sentence. Yeah. And, you know, we like to start with the guest. Ready.

So go ahead. Okay. Now before we... No, no. I'm talking now and you guys shush your faces. Before we move on to overheard, it's time for my favorite segment on the show, Celebrity Birthdays.

Celebrity Birthdays. Celebrity Birthdays. Birthday the hat. Celebrity Birthdays. Celebrity Birthdays. Today is, what is it? Oh, like the 21st of March? Yeah.

Which means a big happy celebrity. But before you do that, oh, it's time for Hulk H of March. Yeah. Which means a big, happy celebrity. But before you do that. Oh, it's time for Hulk Hogan news. No. It's Hulk Hogan news. And it's time for. Brother. Hulk Hogan news.

Now, last week was, it was a watershed time in Hulk Hogan news. I don't, I decided, I'm not going to try and top it. I decided I'm going to You can't go through it. Can't go over it. Gotta go around it. Wait, no, gotta go through it. No, I'm going around it. Can't go through it. Can't go over it. I'm gonna go around it. And the way that I'm going around it

today is I was doing some I was going deep. I was trying to get some deep investigation going about Hulk Hogan. I was googling aplenty. I was doing deep. I was trying to get some deep investigation going about Hulk Hogan. I was Googling aplenty. I was doing some Twittering. I was doing all sorts of things to find out. And I came across an interview, not with Hulk Hogan, but with Carmen Electra.

She's back. Remember? She has had a lot of eye makeup. Yeah, she still does. Yeah, and she's still got those. She's hot. Yeah, she's still a very appealing lady. She's a hot pocket.

She in an interview was talking about a movie that she just made. Watched. And the movie was called The Artist. Not enough interviews are about people just watching movies. Agreed.

I'm doing promo for this movie I just watched. Here's a clip. Now, she was talking about a movie that she made and it was released in January of this year that I had never heard of, co-starring Hulk Hogan's daughter, Brooke Hogan. Oh, fantastic.

And the movie is called Two-Headed Shark Attack. What? So it is a movie about a shark with two heads. Is one of them a dead head? Because usually with animals that have two heads, one's like a useless head. No, no. They're both ferocious eating.

Is it the same breed of shark? Yes. They're both like two megalodons. One hammerhead that keeps knocking the other one in the eye uh there's a picture of the poster i'm showing to you i'm buying that yeah uh that poster the the tagline of the movie is one body two heads and six thousand teeth two vaginas that's. But that's just a standard. Shark has that. It's true. So she was giving this interview and she was promoting this movie?

Yeah. Was she embarrassed about it? But the reason that I found it was via the tag Hogan, which happened to be a Brooke Hogan. But I thought, you know, last week's was so big about Hulk Hogan. But I thought, you know, last week's was so big about Hulk Hogan. And really nothing, he hasn't done anything else since I tweeted with him. It's been a real dead zone. He tweeted back and forth with Shaq about something.

They have some sort of relationship. Because they're both good at slam dunking. Yeah, and Shaq is a volunteer fire marshal. He's a volunteer fire eater for charity. I can help. Yeah.

He used to play for the Miami Heat. That's right. There's a lot of fire involved in that. Yeah. And Hulk Hogan. He likes to tan. Hulk Hogan. Is it Hulk Hogan Hokes?

Yeah. A classic Hulk Hogan Hokes. Did you see that picture of the two-headed sharks? I can't see it from here, but it looks great. I feel like, if anything, that I'm glad that people now know about two-headed shark attack. It's a dangerous thing. It happens, right? In Australia.

And so the shark's two heads are voiced by Carmen Electra and Brooke Hogan. Yeah, and they don't get along. Oh, they do the voices of the shark. Yeah, both of their weddings were planned on the same day, right? They were both getting married to other sharks. And then it's about them like, what? We booked the same DJ. Yeah.

Do you know when you're a shark and you get married that you put the... Wait a minute. Okay, no, continue. What's the thing the lady puts on? The garter? The garter you put the um wait a minute okay no continue what's the thing the lady the garter the garter you put around your fin and then the other shark takes off like really gentle but because he's a shark always takes your phone right every time and you're like no gentle gentle with the shit you can't teach them that so you know it's not like I say we had to go around the Hulk Hogan news

but let's talk more about shark weddings go on I know a lot about them at a regular human wedding here are things that happen you eat a cake that has many tears you eat a human who is shedding many tears

at a human who is shedding many tears. At a human wedding, you throw rice. At a shark wedding, you... Plankton, you throw plankton. Chum. Chum, yeah. You throw plankton? Are there... That's for the whale side of the family. They eat it too. Do sharks eat plankton? Whale sharks.

Alright. Would they approve of a marriage of a double-headed shark? Is one of them getting married to a whale and the other head of the shark is getting married to a seahorse? Very controversial. What is the other one getting married to? Another shark? Is that how you make a whale shark? Is a shark and a whale get married?

No. And then... Stop it, guys. This is upsetting me. There's a very special thing. How does it work? Because a wolfen is when a whale and a dolphin... And a wolf.

Dolphin and a wolf. Smells so bad. Travels in packs. Well, that was some great Hulk Hogan news. I mean, it was. It was as good as this week had to offer. And you know what? I'm not sorry about it.

Well, we salute you, Brooke Hogan. Right? Now it is time for Celebrity Birthdays. Let's get back to it. A big happy Celebrity Birthday to Celebrity Oldman. Gary Oldman is 54 today. Really? Yeah, he's almost living up to his name.

Now, Gary Oldman, he is from what films? Was he in Red Riding Hood? Yeah, he, I don't know. With the Amanda Seyfried one? Yeah. No, I didn't see that. I thought it was him in that movie. Maybe. Did you see that movie?

He was on the plane back from Montreal. Now, that starred Brooke Hogan as a young Red R the movie. Maybe. Did you see that movie? It was on the plane back from Montreal. Now that starred Brooke Hogan as a young red riding hood. Right. Super tanned riding hood. Super tanned, broad-shouldered

red riding hood. She had the strongest horse in all of the land. Gary Oldman, you might know. He was Sid in the Sid and Nancy movie. That's right.

He was Dracula in Dracula. He was the bad guy in Air Force One. He was Get Off My Plane in Air Force One. He was Fred Flintstone in Fred Flintstone. Yeah. He played Tinker Taylor in Tinker Taylor Soldier Spy. He was not Fred Flintstone in Fred Flintstone. I don't know this game.

What is the game, did you think? We were naming movies carry open, wasn't it? Then I didn't have an answer. It's complicated. He was in It's Complicated. He played the two-headed shark. He was in It's About a Boy. It's About a Boy. He played Hugh Grant.

Celebrity husband and celebrity fit club Kevin Federline. The Fed. Do you want to guess his age? 29. 32. 34. Wow, so old. He looks great, though, for it. Kevin Federline. The Fed. Do you want to guess his age? 29. 32.

34. Wow, so old. He looks great, though, for it. He does look really good. Is he still wearing sparkly sweatpants? Yeah, he got married in a... Didn't... He got married in his flip-flops? He got married to a shark.

He got married to a Diet Pepsi. In their wedding, they wore sparkly pants. When he married Britney Spears, they wore sparkly, juicy couture pants. And the guys all said pimp on them. And the girls all said ho. Oh, that was at the party. No, the party ended up being the wedding. Oh, yeah.

It was a switcheroo. They pulled the old shark switcheroo. They did. He tore off Britney Spears' leg with his sharky. He tore off Britney Spears' leg With his sharky If they stood together If they were close enough It would say like Pimpho

Which is popular Soup In Thailand I mean Vietnam Happy Celebrity Birthday to Alan Ruck co-star Matthew Broderick Is 50 years old today Handsderick is 50 years old today.

Handsome. Really? 50 years old? Do you think that 30 years from now they will do a Ferris Bueller sneaks out of the retirement home? Commercial for floating cars? For pill food? For what pill food?

Conveyor belt technology? For hoverboards. Big celebrity happy birthday to singer, songwriter, and two tickets to paradise haver, Eddie Money of the Money family. I heard they come from money. He's 63. And the answer to our trivia question, this comedian was voted the Kushball Corporation Person of the Year forever. Rosie McDonald.

Rosie O'Donnell was born 50 years ago tonight. Wow. Same day as Matthew Broderick. They could have been separated at birth, and then she was supposed to be in Biloxi Blues, and he was supposed to be a train wreck. I believe that to be true. You know, isn't that the crazy thing? We've talked about this, about how Matthew Broderick had a thing that, if it happened now, would be a career-ending situation. Oh, yeah, he killed someone.

Yeah, like in a car accident in Ireland. I always thought it was in Germany. We got our wires crossed. I heard Ireland. Did you just hear from me? I think I've heard you tell me that before. But isn't it... I talked about it on the podcast before. Does that go all the way to Ireland?

I think so. Yeah, the Autobahn is a ring road around Europe. No rules. And you could just drive all over Europe. But it was a much different time, and the media didn't have the presence that it does. Like, it wasn't so tasteless. But I feel like now he would have recovered faster, even. Do you think? Yeah.

Like, it would have been like, eh, whip-wop. Yeah, it's like, you know how often, like... Well, what was that singer, was it Brandy? Was in a very serious car accident. And I don't feel like her career ever recovered from that. Yeah, but... And her career was really like up there. The Boy Is Mine, Brandy?

Yeah. Oh, I thought she just went away because... She killed and ate a guy. Was it an emergency situation? I remember a few years ago Yeah, she absolutely had to eat a guy She had to kill a guy and eat him And then when she was done, she felt a lot better

That's what The Hunger Games is about The boy is lying A few years ago, if there were like Nude pictures of a female celebrity showed up That would be the biggest news story A few, like 10 years ago Yeah Ever since Paris Hilton.

Yeah, but now it's like, you'll have multiple phones being broken into in a week. And every woman keeps her naked pictures on her phone. Yeah. That's why I keep mine. I keep mine as cartoons I've drawn of my own body.

Make X's through them, and then I set them on fire. Why? So disappointing. You keep them in a safety deposit box. own body i want to make x's through them and then i set them on fire why so disappointing uh you keep them in a safety deposit box isn't that where you keep nude photos yeah shouldn't you just destroy them why take them yeah that's true too um especially on a phone where you can accidentally send something i accidentally send emails all the time i am am an idiot. I'm always like, oops. I'm so sorry. Oh, sorry. That email I sent telling you to take this job and shove it, it was an accident.

That was meant for my priest. But then you just live with it. Yeah. Please accept this nude photo of me. Oh, God. Guys. Oh, wait. You got it. Okay.

Guys. Oh, sorry. Guys. Oh, wait. Okay. Sha-na-na-na. Guys. Oh, sorry. Guys. Let's throw to another quick break for the Max Fun Drive. Throw we will. Throw it. That's right. It is time for another mention of the Max Fun Drive.

Guys, we love you. You're the greatest. You complete us. Help us help you complete us. And while we're talking about this, you're probably sitting at a computer or some kind of computing device. And you could easily head over to MaximumFun.org slash donate and donate a monthly pledge. Yeah, become a member of the MaxFun family. Your donations, of course, help to sustain the entire MaxFun family. Your donations, of course, help to sustain the entire

MaxFun organization. That's us, my brother, my brother, me, Throwing Shade, Bullseye, Jordan Jesse Go, Judge Sean Hodgman. It's a whole, you know... It's a... Cavalcade. Yeah, stable. It's a real stable. And there are also

every time, every new donor we get there we have something called challenge donors there are people who have pledged to give an extra 10 cent for every new donor or 10 cents 25 cents so every time someone new comes into the fold we're getting not only money from the new people, the old people are so committed. They're called seniors, Dave. Yeah. Sorry, the old, the elderly. And if you go to MaximumFun.org, there's a whole list of the donation gifts or thank you gifts that you get with each level of donation.

You can find them out there, but they include, they start at getting fantastic bonus media from a bunch of the podcasts. Yeah, bonus episodes. Bonitodes. Yeah. And it goes on from there. There's all this wonderful stuff, thank you gifts that you get for donating. And, I mean, as if the feeling you get by donating isn't thank you enough,

we also included some thank you gifts uh so do it now while it's on your mind maximumfund.org donate it's super easy to do and it makes you feel good yeah we adore you for it okay well if that's not enough please enjoy this message i listen to actually every show on max fun you could say relentless positivity um that's probably a good way of putting it they're always looking at things in the way i'd like the world to be looked at hi i'm davin and i'm lindsey and we donate to maximumfund.org probably my brother my brother and me was the first full episode i listened to yeah the bim bam was a pretty great way to start her off because those mackleroys are charming listen to people be friends best thing i'm Throwing Shade, and it's so funny, and it's so charming.

Yeah, honestly, I feel like every year MaxFun adds new shows, and every year I step up my donation to make sure that more shows can join. Yeah, I think it's really easy to support people who make fantastic things. I get a ridiculous amount of entertainment from MaxFun every month, and it doesn't cost me a lot. Support Maximum Fun today. Just visit MaximumFun.org slash donate.

Thank you. Okay. Now, for realsies. Wait, I got more Hulk Hogan in there! No! Here are some celebrities that were born this month! It's for real it's overheard time. And we like to start with the guest. This time for realsies.

For real. For real. I really don't like this. What? Okay. Which one? This one. Okay.

You guys. You go ahead. Okay, so my overheard. I've been holding on to this one since August of last year. Not from the future. So I was walking to the train. All of our stories are about us taking public transit. It's so embarrassing. Let's go to our

jobs and then get on the train and then come home. And hate it. Yeah. And sleepwalk. By the Canada Line station closest to my house there's these sculptures. They're supposed to be of walking. They're're supposed to be of walking. They're just supposed to be of limbs. They're these rusted.

Oh, they're giant legs. Giant legs. Yeah. But they don't really know what they look like. They kind of look like chocolate fingers or something. They look kind of like. Let me just get this one. I don't like this one.

Yeah. All right, carry on. I only jumped in because the best you could come up with was chocolate fingers chocolate fingers are delicious like those Cadbury chocolate fingers yeah I was trying to pick the most delicious thing they look like then they look like two Twixes more than they look like chocolate fingers

are we done? I don't know that we are. Okay. Guys, come on. So, there's this man walking around the sculptures, and I thought I heard him say something. All I heard was, Diary of a Monk. I was like, what did he say? What?

And he's like, you. He looks at me. He goes, you look like a Diary of a Monk. Look like a, say itloid. Look like a... Say it one more time. One more time in English. You... First he said it to the sculptor.

Then he said it to me. You look like a diarrhea mongloid. A diarrhea mongloid. Well, yeah. I mean... Is that a good overhand? Well, yeah. It's not a nice thing for him to have said to you.

It was pretty funny. How did you react? I was like, fair enough. Did you laugh? Like it was the funniest thing that ever happened in your life? It was pretty funny. Did it make your day? Were you floating a foot above the ground?

I was just so happy. It's the best overheard that I've ever heard. Diarrhea Mongoloid. Because he's like, I think. I was just so happy. It's the best overheard that I've ever heard. Diarrhea mongoloid. Because he's like, I think he first was talking to himself and I heard the words diarrhea mongoloid. I was like, did he just say those two words? And then he said them to the sculptor.

He's like, you look like a diarrhea mongoloid. And he looked at me and he's like, you look like a diarrhea mongoloid. You're not the hook. Yeah. You also are a diarrhea mongoloid. You're not off the hook. You also are a diarrhea mongoloid. Yeah. Hey, sculpture, forget what I just said.

I found the real McCoy. Also, I think diarrhea mongoloid best sums up what those statues look like more than chocolate fingers. If you had said diarrhea mongoloid off the bat, I think we could all get a picture. Oh, like a Twix bar. Well, I'm sorry that that happened to you, but we reap the benefits of it. And you know what?

You're not a diarrhea mongoloid. You just look like one. No, I'm going home right now. Well, my overheard, since no one asked. I was gonna, but I was in the middle of, Dave, do you have an overheard? Yeah, this is not going to compete with diarrhea mongoloid. Yeah, I don't think mine is either. You should have gone last.

You know what, it's not a competition, you guys. It is. Here's a thing. My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard. My milkshake Brings all the boys to the yard Today I was walking down the street And there's a store downtown That's like a print shop

They sell posters And just like art prints And there was a print in the window A photograph A large landscape photograph Of Vancouver Oh I know this shop. Like 50 years ago.

And there were these two men in their 70s sort of crouching down because the picture isn't at eye level. It goes up a woman's skirt. They're trying to get a view. They were sort of, you know, bending over a bit, looking at this picture of Vancouver, and one of them pointed to an area in the west end of Vancouver, sort of near Stanley Park, and all I overheard was, and that was a hobo camp for a while.

That's lovely. When I lived there, it was a hobo camp. Yeah, I only have a few seconds to stare at this picture, but I'm going to point out all the hobo camps. But he always does that, even if it's just like a fun placemat at a restaurant. This is where the hobo camp was. And he started carving in the hobo code. And this one, they... They've got a hammock.

Yeah. Unguarded hammock. Farmer's daughter. Corn on and off the cob And plenty of Just you know Nude cobs Is that what they're called when they don't have corn on them? Yeah

Pies on windowsill There's all sorts of things that hobos like Big Rock County Mountains. Harmonica Zone. Box cars. Cigars on toothpicks. Oh, is that a thing? Flapjack shower.

What? What shower? A flapjack shower. A flapjack shower? That's a thing. Like you shower your flapjacks in it or you get in the shower and it just hits you with flapjacks flapjacks at you so it's like a giant showerhead but instead of water yeah you just catch them with your mouth what's the difference between

a flapjack and a pancake nothing nothing what about. What about a hot cake? Flapjack's more fun to say. Yeah. Yeah, flapjack. Flapjack shower. Any other hobo thing that you think exists? Flapjack shower. Okay. Tar jam. Tar jam. That's when you rub your bread against

some tar. Against the street? Yeah, for taste. It smells like they're laying down some tar today. Do you want to go to the Dempster's Bagel? Those aren't bagels. What are they? They're just bread in the shape of a zero?

Yeah, that's true. Yeah, it's the worst. Should they call it zero bread? Yeah. Yeah, crap bread. Zero crap bread. Hey, Graham. Yes? What about your overheard sitch? My overheard is more like an overseen, because it is an overseen. And it's today, I'm getting on the train. There's a lady with an iPhone.

Must be nice. I know, right? Must come from money. She must come from money. She must come from Eddie Money. She was wearing a very nice Cowichan sweater, which, for people that

maybe don't know what that is, it's like a zip-up sweater that was appropriated by the Olympics. Think of a Pendleton sweater. No, wait. That's different. Cowichan has a design

like they're brown and... What are they? A brown and beige? Or what colors are they? Primarily they're First Nations tradition. They're made by the Cowichan tribe. Yeah. And so they'll have images. Like an eagle.

Or a beaver. Or a flapjack shower. Yeah. Flapjack. So this lady had an iPhone and then one of those, I don't know if it's a novelty thing, but it's like a receiver. Like it's like an old time phone headset. Oh, yeah. Like Lenny Kravitz has.

Yeah. like it's like an old time phone headset. Oh yeah, like Lenny Kravitz has. Yeah, and she was putting her iPhone in the tiny pocket in her couch sweater and watching her try to figure out where to put this dumb receiver was the greatest because she tried to put it in the same

pocket as the iPhone and it just fell out. And so then she tried to put it in the opposite pocket, like then it's like she had a phone belt. Yeah. And then she just slung it over her shoulder. Like a continental soldier. Oh, man. It's just like, you know, she bought it,

and it was cool for exactly 30 seconds. It's just like, what the fuck? It's bigger than my phone. Yeah, how do I carry this dumb thing around? They're on sale this week. Yeah. Are they really? Yeah, everybody's buying them on sale at Linda Trucks. I was like, hey, look at sale this week. Yeah. Are they really? Yeah. Everybody's buying them. They're on sale at London Trucks.

I was like, hey, look at this thing I just got. Oh, that's why! That's exactly where it was. Oh, that's why. It was on sale at London Trucks. It was brand new. She bought it and then was like, ugh, this is the dumbest. I've already broken the packaging. I can't return it. Oh, man. And that

little girl grew up to be Lenny Kravitz. Selena Gomez. Who invented the Hungry Meats. Have you seen those pictures of Lenny Kravitz using one of those? Oh, yeah. But that was a few months ago. It was like a year ago. Yeah.

Just now Vancouver is catching on. Well, and they're on sale because no one bought them. Yeah. I thought I'd see them as an at-home purchase. Something for Skyping or whatnot. Yeah, I don't know. What would you do with it? I don't know. What would you do with it? I don't know what you would do with it.

Let's imagine. Maybe you would need it for a prop in your one-man show about Lenny Kravitz. What's the name of that show? You almost just spilled your wine laughing so hard. Mama Said? It's Mama Said. No, are you going to go my way? Oh, okay.

A different song. I was trying to pick something a little earlier. Yeah, sure. A little, you know, something more about his mother. It was called to pick something a little earlier. Yeah, sure. You know, something more about his mother, Roxy Roker. It's called Mr. Cab Driver. Yeah. Song. Song of his. It's called The Time I Cut

My Dreadlock. Now we also have overheards and overseens and all the like sent into us by you, the listener. The person who's supporting this program during our maximum fun drive. Yeah, you're supporting us with your donations and with your phone-ations

and email-ations. If you want to send in an email-ation, send it in to StopPodcastYourself at gmail.com. We should get an email-nation.com account. Yeah, well, you know what? When we get enough money, maybe we can afford one.

This first one comes from Ashley W. in St. Louis, Missouri. And Ashley W. writes, I was in the express line at Walmart yesterday, and there was a I don't know, right? Recipe for disaster. And there was a middle-aged woman

in front of me talking on her cell phone loudly about some sort of drama that was going on in her life. She swiped her card to pay, still talking, then messed up her PIN not once, not twice, but three times. She said to the person on the phone, hang on, I'm at the store and I can't remember my PIN number. She looks at me, says sorry in an I'm not really sorry tone, then says to herself, hmm, let's see if I can get this right. The numbers that worked? 1-1-1-1. Wow. Yeah, right?

What was that pin? Was it 1-1-1-2? How did the person who wrote in... Well, she was looking, obviously. I know, but how rude. Oh, I guess, right? Yeah. I didn't even think about it. At that point, she was looking, obviously. I know, but how rude. Oh, I guess, right? Yeah. I didn't even think about it.

At that point, she owes that woman nothing. You think, like, the privacy barrier's been broken down by you fucking up your pin number three times in a row? Well, even just talking on your phone and the cash out. That's true. It's really terrible. It's true. It's really one of the rudest phone behaviors.

What are the top... That and beating somebody to death with your phone. Throwing a payphone at somebody. Lenny Gravitzing. Beating someone with the... That was in Goodfellas, too. Didn't someone get a beating with the receiver of a phone? Have you guys ever talked about how that's always on?

I'm sure we have, yeah. It's the greatest. You can't not watch it nope um yeah because you know like that happened to me the other night it was the thing where the guy tells uh joe pesci to go get a shine box and then he stabs him with a pen that's a line from the movie uh when i was in toronto i kept it on a and e uh in my hotel the whole time. Just in case. And it was either that or Ocean's Eleven at all times. Well, what would you call that? That cycle of broadcasting?

Like, it's not like the dirtbag cycle, but it's... What marathon is that that has Ocean Eleven? I don't know. It's just great. Goodfellas? It's like the hangover cycle.

Yeah. You can kind of just watch it with a hangover. Yeah. It's... There's no good lines from Ocean's Eleven like there is from Goodfellas, though. No, but it's just... There's a couple of good lines, actually. Go ahead.

Say one. I'm Brad Pitt. He never at any point in the movie says, I'm Brad Pitt. Wait. In Ocean's Twelve, doesn't Julia Roberts impersonate Julia Roberts? I've never seen it. Does she? In Oceans 12, her character, Tess, they need her to impersonate the movie star Julia Roberts.

No. That movie exists in a world where Julia Roberts is a separate person from Julia Roberts. Weird. And she calls up Bruce Willis and their friends. And Bruce Willis plays himself in it. And is fooled by this person pretending to be Julia Roberts. Oh, so she sounds like Julia Roberts. Well, she is Julia Roberts.

I don't know. But the woman who plays the test, that's Julia Roberts. So she's a doppelganger. Yeah. Yeah. Julia Roberts in real life. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But then in that world, she exists, but George Clooney and Matt Damon, they don't exist.

Well, they maybe do, but no one brings up the fact that they are. These con men look like the most famous men in the world. And no one mentioned it in Ocean's Eleven how much she looks like Julia Roberts. Hey, you know, you look like this really famous men in the world? And no one mentioned it in Ocean's Eleven, how much she looks like Julia Roberts. Hey, you know you look like this really super famous movie star. Huh, Hank Brandy. Um... Amanda Peete.

Okay, guys. I got another. Yeah, I got a couple of them. Three totals. Yeah, three totals. Absolutely. And this next one. I like this because what happened in this overseen. Stays in this overseen. It's somebody, I think, who has maybe lied to somebody and bought into the lie enough and then realized that they didn't have to.

So this is from Madison G. Set it up more. Madison is like part of a movie titled... The Bridges of Madison County. She was named after the character in Splash. Was that, really, was her name Madison? She named herself that. Because she was in the Madison something? She saw the Madisonison uh avenue sign same

language yeah under the sea so she just did the old what's your name and she just looked around and she's like taxi cab newspaper she came up with three words two of them were taxi and cab there's a lot of taxis in new york especially on Madison Avenue. Well, that's what I'm saying. I was walking on my college campus, and a few yards away from me was a woman on the phone. She was having a normal conversation and then said, I have to run. I'm going to be late. I'll call you later. Hung up and started running. After a few strides, she stopped and started walking again.

So, it's like, just in case she's watching, I'm gonna do like a little fake run until I'm out of frame. Maybe she's on a run-walk program. Yeah, gotta do a cool-down. Two, three strides of running. Yeah, that's how mine goes.

One full day of walking. I was thinking today about when you're on the phone with someone and you're meeting them and they're like, where are you? I don't see you. And like, oh, I can see you. Okay, bye. And one of them hangs up first. And then you're like, oh, good.

Whoever spots the other person always seems to hang up first and then the other person is left. Where am I going to be snuck up upon? Yeah, it's like that. Wasn't there a movie called Infernal? He's in a phone booth. It's like that, but without a phone booth. Oh, what was that called? It was called The Phone That Ran Away.

Run Away Phone. The Net. Was it called The Net? It was called Net Phone. It was called iPhone Extension. Now, this last one. This one just has a special place in my heart because it made me laugh so hard today when I read it. This is from Riley L.

You know who you are. I'm from a small town in Saskatchewan. And recently, my whole grade 11 class, a total of 13 students, was helping out, a bake sale during one of our school's breaks. Our school is K to 12. So we were at the sale mainly to help the little kids out during the sale. I noticed that my friend's wallet was on the table and was full of change. I said to my friend, Holy crap,

that's a fat wallet. As I said, and I lifted the wall up wallet up and a bunch of coins fell out. One of the younger kids buying things saw this and chuckled to himself and said in a sarcastic voice, Smooth move, FedEx. That's so great.

Smooth move, FedEx. From that old commercial for Federal Express. Accentive. Yeah. FedEx likes. It was originally what they did. FedEx likes. Yeah.

They would, whatever. Hey, when's the last time you had a wallet full of change? Oh, I don't have an option in my wallet. No, me neither. It's just cards only. Yeah, that's like, I feel like that's, oh, yes? I always have a wallet full of change. Yeah, but do you have a zip thing?

Yeah. Yeah, I think that's a lady option. That's sexist. Do you have a wallet where the money is folded or a wallet where the money is flat? Folded. Liar. Truth. Does your wallet itself fold?

No. But it's not a pants wallet. You can't wear it in the back. It's like a pouch. Yeah. It's like a pouch. It's like just a sack. Yeah.

It fits cards perfectly, and then you fold your money, and then stuff you're changing. Oh, okay. Sounds like a lot of fun. It's one thing. I can show you guys. No, I'm good. I'll show you guys. Hang on.

I have another over here, but not now, right? Why not now? Why not now? I was walking past, you know there's like a sword fighting place now in Gastown where you can learn to fight with a sword? Do I know? Yeah. Of course.

Is it upstairs? Yes. Is it? No, it was like ground level. So there's a second one. Do they do Bartitsu? I don't know what that is. The umbrella fighting?

I don't know, but guys were dressed up funny. Yeah, well, they're idiots. Yeah, so I was walking past with my friend Warren, and then he said, this is a lonely city with people doing a lot of lonely things. I don't think learning how to fight is a lonely thing. You need two to fight. Dressing up like a knight in shining armors.

Were there people in shining armors? Yes, there was guys dressed up with chain mail and stuff. That's it. Was anyone, were they anyone's knight in shining armor? Because doesn't that just mean that you're just like, I didn't get called into battle. Yeah, exactly. My armor is super shiny. Yeah, it's never been used.

It's like a soft-handed gentleman. I don't know how to fight. Although, the knight in shining armor is the knight that stayed behind while the other knights went out and got beheaded. So then he collects all the damsels. No, I think they would shine their armor before they went to battle. Why? That seems like the worst time to shine it. Pride, a point of pride.

Wouldn't you shine it after? It's like how Mel Gibson would paint his face blue. Oh, and the Smurfs. But then wouldn't he be like, oh, I can't see our enemies. Oh, wait, I can. The sun's reflecting off their super shiny armor. Yeah, it seems like you would camouflage your armor. Yeah, cover yourself in dirt.

Yeah, and then afterwards at the at the wrap party you would try. You guys, we had some disagreements but I think we made one hell of a war. Now let's all grab giant drumsticks and

drink grog. In addition to email nations of overheards, we also get telephone nations. If you want to telephone us, our telephone number is 206-339-8328. Hey, Dave, I'm a guest. So it's St. Patrick's Day,

and I'm calling in with an overheard. So we're waiting for the bus, and basically there's a couple guys around us, and one of them is like, okay, so top ten things you can't say to your girlfriend. Number one, you can't say, fuck, I think this is a drunk dial. Never mind. Bravo. Best drunk dial.

Aaron, go, bro. You can tell right off the bat that he is loaded, Yay. Best young dial. Aaron, go brah. You can tell right off the bat that he is loaded, too. He's like, brah, brah, brah. You could tell he was walking. I love that when people call in and they don't even break stride. They're still out of breath from overhearing something. Now, did you completely skip out on St. Patrick's Day? Did you go out at all?

Did I go out? It would have been Saturday? Yes. I don't remember. But I didn't go out, but I probably left the house at some point. Well, it's just like... Well, Sumka's an Irish name, right? I'm a quarter Irish.

Oh, really? Yeah. But no, I don't care. Well, because we had lunch on Saturday. We did. And then we went and had a drink at the bar. And it was only like one o'clock. It was embarrassingly early to have a drink.

But, well, not embarrassing for that table of 20 that showed up in matching green shirts and decided to get plowed. Like, they were ordering shots. Someone had sex with them? Yeah, they were getting fucked on the table. Stop. By the Star of Leprechaun. I always want to go out for St. Patrick's Day.

I'm Irish, but I can't bear the shenanigans. You can't bear grills. But, like, I feel like the... You're so pleased with yourself. It's been twin. The perfect storm of St. Patrick's Day on a Saturday, though, that seems like that would result in a lot of public vomiting. Like vomiting on fire hydrants, vomiting on newsstands. Oh, Abby was downtown at school, and she said she saw people throwing up at like two in the afternoon.

All lucky charms. In Ireland, it's like a solemn day. It's not even a thing. In Ireland, people just... And everyone else, like the other 364 days, they get drunk and they get fired on tables. Yeah. But no, I think I've gone out for one St. Patrick's Day

in my life and it was awful. Yeah. I mean, every other time that I've gone out on St. Patrick's Day has been awful. Because, yeah, it's... Well, I mean, it's the only holiday where people insist that you drink until passing out, right? There's no other holiday where that's... Yeah, and there's no other... Maybe New Year's Eve?

Are there other... Do we celebrate holidays of like the Chilean National Day yeah what is that Santiago Day Santiago Friday there's like Cinco de Mayo

that's like a Mexican one I don't celebrate that one either I go on Cinco de Mayo I go crazy you have all five Mayas. Kiss me, I'm Cinco. Kiss my Mayo. You go to the

Mexican restaurant and taste all five different Mayas. All five different Mayanases. Yeah, I go to Subway, I get extra Mayo. We're idiots. Next one's all.

The day of the five Maynays. Weirdiots. Next one's on. The day of the five mayonnaise. Hello, guys. This is Matthew from Seattle, and I haven't overheard. I was in the waiting room at the eye doctor, and these two old ladies were talking. They had kind of Eastern European accents, which I will not try to do. One was telling the other about a nature documentary that she had seen, and she said, The sex life of cactus is kind of tricky you have to have two and the other woman said really that's all i got love the

show uh that's not true do cactus don't have sex do they how quick uh how do cactus have sex very carefully thanks everybody uh no i don't know how i didn't see the documentary How do cactus have sex? Very carefully. Thanks, everybody. No, I don't know. I didn't see the documentary. Why Alicia Tobin was the phrase eye doctor so hilarious? Yeah, you laughed like an idiot. Is it because you were picturing a giant eye that was wearing doctor clothes? I don't want to say why.

That made me laugh. What made you laugh? He's like, I was a young girl. You didn't sound to say bye. We were all picturing that. That made me laugh. What made you laugh? He's like, I was a young year. You didn't sound like an idiot. Sorry, Matthew. You were great. Yeah, way to be from Seattle. Yeah.

I was a young year. He didn't sound like that, did he? No, he didn't even a little bit. He sounded totally normal. Thanks for sending that in, Chris. All right, next. Oh, the final overheard. Would you call...

Isn't it a... What's an eye doctor? Isn't there a term for it? Either an optometrist or an ophthalmologist. I guess that's why you say eye doctor. Maybe his was an on-sale doctor. Like an on-sale eye doctor. Yeah, maybe it was just a lens crafter.

Yeah. Oh, sure. Yeah, but that's not a doctor. Would you call that person Yeah, maybe it was just a lens crafter. Yeah. Oh, sure. Yeah, but that's not a doctor. Would you call that person a doctor? Depends. Lens crafter cashier. Yeah, maybe like if the lens crafter cashier received an honorary doctorate from their alma mater.

Like they brought them back and presented it? From whatever community college they went to before they worked at lens crafters. Like they brought them back and presented it? Yeah. Front, whatever. Community college they went to before they worked at Lens Crafters. They're the front page of the alumni newsletter. Yeah. We gotta get a job at the Lens Crafters. We pulled some strings. We pulled some rods and cones.

Oh. Oh, goodbye. I'm an idiot cones Oh The final overheard Hey Dave and Graham This is Derek from Nashville And I have an overheard for you I'm walking currently This just happened by the way I'm walking currently to see Andrew Bird and Eugene Merman

And walking on the same sidewalk Toward us There was a mom and two kids, probably 14, 15. And the mom saw some graffiti on a wall of a building and she said, oh, look at that graffiti. And one of the girls goes, it's called street art, mom. You're embarrassing me in front of Banksy. I just love the 14, 15-year-old

who just wants to be shitty at all times. Yeah. I was that kid. Well, all kids were that kid. If the mom had said street art, she said, it's graffiti, mom. Yeah, totally. Pardon me.

Look at the paparazzi. They're photographers, mom. Stop saying Italian words that you think mean things. They're pop culture journalists. Yeah. Yeah, right? I want a panini. Oh, it's a sandwich, mom.

It's a pressed sandwich. It's a Cinco de Mayo. It's the 5th of May, mom. me mom do you remember there was a a period of time where uh people from like a much music or some affiliated type of uh television network would do reporting where they also were doing the camera work yeah they're videographers videographers right yeah that's when you said they were video or whatever that just but they would sign off they would film themselves in a mirror yeah when why was that a thing? It was like, when I went to broadcasting school, they said, oh, this is the future.

It's going to be a lot of... I just saw an ad for school, and they said, this is what your life's going to be like. And it was a person doing that. Yeah. You're going to be taking a picture of your peen in a mirror. In a pickle sandwich. But that doesn't happen anymore. They don't have CNN, like, report, like, there's nobody that doesn't happen anymore. They don't have CNN, like,

there's nobody that didn't keep going. Yeah, I don't know. I haven't seen anyone, but I do totally remember them filing a news story in a mirror. Oh, maybe that's how the whole having naked pictures on your phone evolved. Like, it started there,

you're taking pictures of yourself reporting from the bathroom. I'm naked. This just in. My butt. Reporting from the bedroom. I'm some genitals. It's a tiny microphone.

A little lapel microphone. Careful, it's gonna clip on. It's not gonna be very comfortable. Ow, it's going to clip on. It's not going to be very comfortable. Oh, lordy. Well, if you want to call us, you can call us at 206-329-8328 or write to us at stockpodcastyourself at gmail.com. Now, Graham. Yes. Before we say goodbye to our friend Alicia, I think it's time to remind us all about the...

Why we're here? Yeah, the majesty that is. Cinco de Mayo. Yes, before we end the show, let's have one more check-in with the Max Fun Drive details. It's still on. It's still on. It hasn't stopped during this episode. Yeah, we've had callers taking your calls. We've got some celebrity people.

We've got Oscar the Grouch. We've got Oscar De La Hoya. Yeah. Oscar Mayer. I can't think of any other Oscars. Oscar, the guy that the Oscars are named after. Oh, sure, yeah. Oscar, the fictional character from The Odd Couple.

Oscar, the character from The Sly Stallone. Oh, jazz musician Oscar Peterson. Oh, he is here. Congrats. He brought his own headset. So, as we mentioned earlier in the show, it's the MaxFunDrive. Your donations help

keep these shows alive and thriving. And we love doing this show. We do it each and every week. We love being part of the Maximum Fun organization. Yes. Because there are some guests that we've sort of approached that we didn't really know who they were.

They didn't know who we were. We knew who they were. Yeah. And we probably wouldn't have had the confidence to approach them if we didn't say, hey, we're from Maximum Fun. We would have approached them. They probably would have said no. I don't know. For me, it's all about confidence.

Yeah. That's why you run the long and short con. I'm on the grift. Speaking of, please donate. Now, you can donate at all different levels. There's a whole breakdown of the prizes. Not prizes. Thank you gifts that you get.

They're like prizes. Yeah. They're like nature's prizes. Anytime anything comes in the mail, it feels like a prize. That's true. Yeah. Hey, L.L. Bean catalog. I win.

At $5 a month, you get a bunch of bonus episodes of podcasts and including... There's also some rift short films riff track style yeah uh at ten dollars a month uh you get to be a friend of the family you get a maximum fun friendship bracelet uh the and then all the media yeah twenty dollars you get all that you get the uh uh water bottle at 35 you get the Friendship Emergency Kit, which includes the half a bag of coffee, the trading cards, all the stuff we mentioned before. Two bubblegum cigars. The Mad Libs,

the Alka-Seltzer, the tattoos, the... Headphone splitters. Yeah, the cashy breakfast cereal, and the necklaces. And then, at the $50 level, you get a homemade batch of Jesse and Teresa Thorne's signature blondies. FedExed to your door.

Smooth move, FedEx. At the $100 a month level, you're in the Jesse's Golden Eagles. You get an invitation to the MaxFun Dinner, a special dinner the night before MaxFunCon with staff, performers, and friends of Maximum Fun. We were there last year. It was fantastic. I can't remember what I had, but I remember it was... I don't think they took my order.

Oh, really? Yeah. Did you order something off the menu? I did. No, I think it eventually came, yeah. It just came in the mail last week And if you can't make it that night, you'll get a lunch with Jesse if you're ever in LA But if you're in Vancouver, you'll get a lunch with us

That's right, at a strip club You can choose the venue Hey, you can choose like a super very fancy strip club Yeah, yeah, exactly, a Brandy's, a Blondie's At the $200 a month level.

That's Jordan's Platinum Angels. You can go higher, but this is the highest one for which there are prizes. You get free registration at next year's MaxFunCon. Which is about the funnest time around. The con is on. And, you know what?

We appreciate all the people who have been donors over the last two? This is our third? Yeah, we're about to enter our third year with Maximum Fun. Goodness gracious. Yeah, we appreciate all the donors. And if you want to stay at your current level, we totally appreciate

that too. Every little bit helps. We're growers, not showers. Do I know what that means yet? Dave, too. Every little bit helps. We're growers, not showers. Do I know what that means yet? Dave, I'm a little bit of both. A shower and a grower. That means you grow your own tomatoes, right? And you show them off? That's right.

So just go to MaximumFun.org slash donate. Now, Alicia, you're super great. Thank you. Thank you for being our guest. It was great of me. Now, Alicia, you're super great. Thank you. Thank you for being our guest. It was great of me. It was great of you.

Yeah, yeah. And you know what? We brought you in specifically because this is one of our two Max Fun Drive weeks, and you're somebody that people have requested to be back on the show. Thanks, guys. So we, yeah, we said, okay, well, we'll bring her on during this time. She'll be fun. Lucy Goosey.

Yeah, super goose. Pigeony Wigeony. Top five bird rhymes. Pelican Bellican. Good enough. Seagull. Beagle. Beagle.

Yep. We did it. Hey, I met a beagle yesterday. What was his deal? His name was Stanley. Yeah, you sent me a photo of him. Yeah. I met a wiener dog named Bill.

Whatever. Why? What? Okay. Now, as previously discussed, you're great. Where can people find you online? Twitter. At Alicia A. Tobin on Twitter.

Alicia A. Tobin on Twitter. Alicia A. Tobin on Twitter. You're going to hear her write about animals that she saw. Yeah. Fights she had with a pizza. Snacks that she would like to have. Yeah. Well, women on TV. Yeah.

Body parts. Body parts. Hey. Body noises. Sure. Yeah. Shapes. Colors.

Yes. Yeah. All of these things. Yeah. Follow me on Twitter. C++ computer programming. Yes. Java. JavaScript. If you're somebody out there in Twitter land that

loves coloring. Yeah. Drawing animals. Uh-huh. Tweets about animals. Snacks. Would you appreciate people who are listening right now tweeting you pictures of their dogs? Is it? Yes. Okay, so that's good. That's a

fun... No dead dogs. No, no, no. God, what? Somebody sent me a picture of a dead bird the other day. They talked about the dead bird. It was a good one, though. If you're listening to this, that was a really good dead bird picture. So do send pictures of the Dead Birds? Yeah, but don't try to engage me in a conversation.

Just send the picture of the Dead Bird. XOXO. Yeah. I do sometimes want to chat on Twitter, but yeah. What did Dave say? No, Graham said gossip. Which Dave loves. Yeah.

So, and and then you know as far as plugs go Max Fun Drive yeah we just did it and also check out the I really listened to a batch of episodes

of A Throwing Shade which is the newest youngest member of the Max Fun family and so funny.

So great. Really worth checking out. Absolutely. Worth your time. And thanks for listening, everybody. And thanks for having us as part of your yearly donation experience. Bye, guys. And, yeah, that's Alicia Toad signing off with her classic sign-off.

Bye, guys. Farewell, brethren. Bye, guys. Farewell, brethren. Bye, then. I'm also saying goodnight. Goodnight, Dave. Also, bye. Okay, bye. Join us next week for another episode.

Stop podcasting yourself. Okay, bye. Okay, bye now. Bye.