Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 212 - Kevin Lee

Episode Date: April 10, 2012

Improviser Kevin Lee returns to talk about ice cream, weird expensive purchases, the saddest part of Field of Dreams, and syrup-scented money.

hi he's Dave Schumke and he's Graham Clark and together we hosts Stop Podcasting Yourself hello everybody and welcome to episode number 212 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who could not be more thrilled that the sons of the Beatles are considering forming their own band. Mr. Dave Shumka. Little Baby Beetle Bumpers. Would that be a great...

No. I would go see it. Yeah, I would go see it, but it would not be a great thing. No, it wouldn't be great, but you would have to go see it Yeah I would go see it But it would not be a great thing No it wouldn't be great But you would have to go see it Yeah here's who's involved so far James McCartney Who we didn't know made music

Until like a year ago Didn't know he existed Yeah To be honest Let's see there is a Sean Lennon Sean Lennon Something Starsky

Starkey Well Much Starsky He's the one who's holding it up. There's Danny Harrison. Right, who looks exactly like George Harrison. Sure. Same long hair, same facial hair, everything.

Same eyebrow. Yep. And apparently Zach Starkey is holding the whole thing up. But the guy in the interview, the McCartney guy, said, I think we can get the uh one of his brothers is interested who's not even a drummer i think he is a drummer well maybe it doesn't matter there were drums around the house sure uh well sean lennon's not even a singer uh he released an album though on which he sang i know i just make fun of him yeah he's not very

good uh it's episode 212 it's the azale. Right, guys? I don't know what that means. She's a rapper. She has a song called 212. Oh, congratulations to her. And before we introduce our guest, I would just like to thank our listeners for their generous donations during the MaxFunDrive. You guys really came through in the pinch. Yeah, and we don't feel great asking for money, and you guys came through for it.

Yeah. Well, you know i i feel halfway about it okay i'm pretty good i'm okay yeah uh our guest today returning guest one of our all-time favorites such a funny gentleman he uh can be heard on a very special podcast the sunday service podcast and those are the same thing you made it seem like you're listing things oh no a very special podcast, the Sunday Service Podcast. Oh, yeah, my apologies. That's not even, that's not the name of it.

What is the name of it? A beautiful podcast. A beautiful, not very special. But wait, you misunderstood. I was saying it's a very special podcast, the Sunday Service Podcast. And it's like- You cut me off before I got to say a beautiful podcast. You're also a member of the Sunday Service.

Yep. And yeah, like I said, one of our all-time favorites, Mr. Kevin Lee is our guest. Hello. Hello, everyone. Oh, I don't know. Talking like that. Making bad choices. Out of the gates.

Well, let's get to know us. Get to know us. Now, I apologize that it's called a beautiful podcast. Not a very special podcast. No, please do not look for a very special podcast. That is a neo-Nazi podcast. Which is about their very special race. The neo-Nazis.

Now, Kevin Lee, you're not just an improviser and a podcast star. You are also, we were saying right as we walked in the door, you are now a spokesman. Right? A character I'm playing is a spokesman. Sure. I'm not selling it based on my super special name with my very special podcast. You're a spokesman for uh what a credit union yeah like credit unions for bc i guess yeah uh which was strange because uh uh we like graham

and i think both independently discovered and i'm sure many of your friends have independently discovered i didn't tell anyone it's just i did not tell anyone they're basically expected them to superimpose a mask on my face i'm a lone ranger i saw your face come up in my hot mail as i was checking for uh you know a mail from 10 years yeah yeah have you checked somebody trying to mail you the icq uh and uh it when i first saw it i immediately thought of the ICQ EXE file. Uh-oh. And when I first saw it, I immediately thought of that story that I don't think... I think you told me the story, Graham. Cinderella? Yes, the story of Cinderella.

No, of Kevin. Someone discovering Kevin had done these pizza deliveries. The stock images. Did we not talk about that with you? I don't know we i remember we talked about pizza and a pizza shirt maybe that yeah there was a the photos of you like bursting out of a piece of purple paper with a pizza in your hand yeah like long hair and clean shaven and

like uh like uh you know i was trying to play like young college guy delivering pizza really forcefully like like the kool-aid man can't find your door pizza delivery guy boom i just i came through always coming through pizza delivery was it 29 minutes of 59 seconds but i made it so uh what did you know how does that work because i i mean i enjoy myself some stock images i like i like looking at them I like trying to figure out what the director had in mind for what these might be used for. What do they tell you? Nothing really.

You just show up and they, you know, embarrassingly, they make you bring your own clothes. Also bring a pizza. Bring your own wall piece. Is it bad if I already busted through it? No, it's good um it's gonna work with the concept yeah yeah we'll just put a bunch of like a particle board dust in your mouth

when you when you put your body through it just spit it in the air i'll take a photo like you burst i just came from a shoot for a glory hole company for a giant dinosaur penis. It's huge. It is huge. I don't know. I don't know why. Yeah, I didn't even really think about what stock footage meant, i.e. that it would end up on the internet and my friend and I would find it, like, five years later. And spread it around to everybody. I don't even know what you would use it for.

Like, it's me, like, delivering a pizza happily through busting through a wall. I think that it's for, like on uh like a company pizza party right they've got a newsletter or something they're going to put on the bulletin board and there you are bursting through the wall with a pizza somebody drawn a dick in my face somebody somewhere that's the equivalent any spokesman job stock photo that's what's happening yeah i know this thing when the first person noticed uh that it happened, which was previous guest Alicia Tobin, was the first person who contacted me and said, like, what are you doing on this Why are you my financial advisor for the credit unions?

I kind of just immediately thought, oh, yeah, this is actually, people are going to see this, and just, it's just waiting for people to start calling me fag on YouTube. It's going to happen. It's a matter of time. time real soon don't tell me what to do with my money it's not but that's we should say it's funny like you're riffing like i did with the pizza water i try to like spice it up put a bit of pepper on that pizza oh yeah put my old pepper pizza yeah i um yeah i don't know yeah they're actually really great, and it's a good thing, because I get to play around and add extra jokes to it and fix, like if the script's not... The skit's not really jiving with me.

I send it to my manager. And what did your manager do with it? He sent it to me again, and I fixed it. He goes, I know a guy who can fix this up. Slides it back. Turns it right side up. Huh, what is this? He has to tell me. So that's okay.

It's a gig, right? It's a good money gig, you know. It's a pizza busting through. You get that money. Earning and burning. That's my financial advice. You earn it, you burn it. You compromise your dignity to get more of it. That's pretty much my financial advice on there. So what is it? Every week you'll be taking tips, questions, or giving out tips.

You're not taking tips. Maybe you are taking tips. If you want to send me some money, I got an Indiegogo. Please give me money so I never have to do this again. Did you say India Go-Go? Isn't that what it's called? It's just India Go-Go. I really want to go to India.

Yeah. Because I'm experimental vasectomy surgery. I inject my balls with spiders. And they kill all the sperm in there. Or spiders come out. It's for Halloween fucking. Boo! I'm a terrible person!

Oh, terrifying. That's what the doctor's like. This is a 50-50. I know this is going to make you either sterile or a monster. Either way, you're going to be popular at parties. But maybe with girls or goth girls. Girls or ghouls.

There you go. Oh, wow. Yeah, so they said that people are supposed to send in questions about financial advice and then they write answers for me and then I read them and try to make them a little a little bit funnier yeah that's okay that's good it's really

pitched it's really pitched to people like me um earning and burning yeah i don't know how to save money in their 30s a savings account what are you sure yeah you misspelled checking i'm sure that's not a trampoline where i can bounce money off and it goes into like an Apple store, like EB Games. What is, you were talking about how people in their 30s aren't good with money, especially people of our generation. I feel like our parents were probably better with money. Here's what I think, is I don't think anybody in our generation is making any money, ergo. I think it's a lot easier to be good with money when there's money coming in. Yeah, yeah.

What would you say is the dumbest thing you've bought in the past five years? Ooh. Dumbest thing. Oh, boy. Like, a dumb expensive thing, or just a dumb thing? Dumbest thing, maybe over $100, which is the highest amount of money

possible. I don't think that I've spent $100 on anything. Not any one thing. What about all those groceries you bought four years ago? You don't even own those anymore. Yeah, those were pretty stupid.

Stupid groceries. Dumb tortillas. Yeah, that probably would be my stupidest thing that I bought over a hundred bucks is dumb groceries that I always let rot. Because I'm like, oh, what's this? Mr. Noodles? I'll eat that. Goodbye, Swiss chard. I bought Swiss chard the other day.

What is Swiss chard? A fish? It's a lettuce. It's a giant lettuce. It's an elephantine lettuce. Yeah. So you bought Swiss chard. What did you think you were going to

make with it? I didn't know. I was like, this thing's like, because I've been eating a lot of ice cream lately, guys.

Yeah, me too. I've been eating a lot of ice cream. Yeah, Dave, you as well. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you know how to use it?

No, no, not shard. Ice cream. Oh, ice cream. Do you have shard and you know how to use it?

Yeah, like ZZ Topset. There needs to be a food spokesperson I send questions to. That's not a good joke. Cut that out. Yeah, a lot of ice cream lately. Yeah, me too.

Milkshakes. Oh, I've just been eating it straight up. What's your flavor? I usually like mint chocolate chip. Yeah, that's a great flavor. I got like a buttersquatch, a buttersquatch squirrel. You got a squirch? A squirch.

A buttersquatch? Squirch cream. It's a buttersquatch squirrel. Yeah, scorch a scorch i got a butter squash cream yeah it's like a butter squash squirrel yeah it's a butternut squash squirrel try to get healthy uh so what what's with uh what do you do do you sit there now you sit there you eat ice cream do you eat it right out of the box why i'm getting fat um or do you do you do you do the the the intermediary thing where you put it in a bowl and then you eat it out of the bowl? You downplay it like it's just a dumb intermediary thing. Well, no, it's kind of like if you put it in the bowl, it's kind of like you're saying to yourself, I'm just going to eat what's in this bowl.

But if you open up the carton and just start eating out of it, you're basically setting yourself up to possibly eat the whole carton. The bottom's the limit. Yeah. You're basically setting yourself up to possibly eat the whole carton of ice cream. The bottom's the limit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What I do is I get a bowl out of the cupboard.

I put my hand in the bowl. I put the ice cream in my hand. And then I just hold the bowl under my hand while I just push the ice cream through my teeth into my throat. Through a wall. That's right. Yeah. Ice cream delivery. Yeah.

Oh, is there such thing? Ice cream delivery? Well, there's an ice cream delivery. Oh, is there such thing? Ice cream delivery? Well, there's an ice cream man. Oh, yeah. You don't get to pre-order, I don't think. No, that's true. It's different than delivery. But it's, yeah.

But there's not an ice cream man right now. Like, if I wanted to get a butternut squash ripple. They come out early. They come out before summertime. Yeah, they should be out right now. I think we all could go for some ice cream. I almost screamed for it. We all do.

I mostly moan after eating ice cream. Oh, my life. It's a very kind of Kathy comic strip thing to do. Yeah. Eat a whole ice cream and then go, why me? Or what would Kathy say? Ack. Oh? Ack. Oh, ack. I had somebody, I said to somebody recently that I was eating a lot

of ice cream that I finished a carton in a week. And then they were like, oh yeah, I do that all the time. And I was like, oh yeah? And they're like, what kind are you getting? And I'm like, oh, you know those Breyers that are like one liter of ice cream. They're huge. And they're like, oh, I'm getting one of those small Häagen-Dazs things. Oh, I finish a thimble a week

yeah I'm like oh ah terrible do you ever like Dave he prepares a whole milkshake do you ever make it like

special make a sundae for yourself no that makes me feel worse because I'm like put a lot I have too much time to think this is a bad idea

instead of just like dumping it into a bowl and be like no no no immediately just worse. Because I'm like, put a lot, I have too much time to think this is a bad idea. Instead of just like dumping it into a bowl and be like, immediately just talk to myself for something else. With people exercising on camera. As you're chopping up bananas. Okay, you know how there were, before the show started, there was a spider on my microphone.

Oh, sorry, I came a little bit. Stop it. Pew! One came out. Stop, why? Same thing. microphone oh sorry i came a little bit and i knocked it to the ground and it's back it's back yeah it's a spider on dave's microphone i kicked it off let's see how long it takes before it comes back uh that is a spider really wants to get up in your mouth unless there's eggs

that have been laid in here. Oh, a family of spiders! It's a mitzvah. Yes. Mazel tov. With all your voices, you're soothing them to life. Here's what I do. Soothing them to life.

That's what I call pregnancy, right? That's an NPR show. That's how you call it. Soothing them to life. Okay. So, when you were talking about making a hot fudge sundae. Yeah. Yeah. That.

Sorry, that just. It only happens. Like the only time I think of it is either you go to a place where they make it like a diner. Yeah. Or. A drive-in. A dive. A Dairy Queen.

The four D's. Yeah. Okay. Fieri. Or when on a TV show when there's like the dad character Finally gets the kitchen to himself And he's making this Elaborate thing and then

You know his shrewish wife Comes in She shrieks it into its composite molecules Raymond! Raymond! Have you seen the new show About the banshee? I thought you were going to say when a dad finally finds out his son is gay he gets the terms of it because like his old cop buddy turns out

he's gay uh what show is this uh it's a show i'm working on okay called uh what is it called come on it's called uh quirks and quirks so what it's a guy who finds out his son's gay it's called Quirks and Quirks. So what? It's a guy who finds out his son's gay. It's called Good Christian Bitches. That's a real show. Yeah, yeah. GCBs. Have you seen it?

Gacing Care of Business. Gaking Care of Business. It stars the woman who played Janine in the Ghostbuster films. Oh, yeah, that's right. And it stars... Slimer also. He makes a guest appearance. Oh yeah, that's right. And it stars... Slimer is also... He makes a guest appearance. It's like a reunion thing.

He plays an STD. On the toilet seat. What? I like ideas. Yeah, ideas are great. They have the whole cast of Ghostbusters as good Christian bitches.

Ernie Hudson as the black guy. Ghost something busters. Yeah, the guy, Vigo, from the painting. Ghost Christian busters. Yeah, awesome. So,

what else is going on in a Kevin Lee's life? Your spokesperson. I helped you move that one time. That was great. That was really fun. Yeah, you did. Thank you so much. I don't think I've laughed so hard in a day in my life as that move.

Everything about that move was – Moving is awful. Moving is the worst. And I had you and Cam McLeod, very lovely gentleman. And it was funny. There was that person outside that was trying to get their car. They were stealing a car. Oh, yeah.

They had this old, what was it, an old Mercedes or something. An old Mercedes, yeah. And they had borrowed a screwdriver. And it was this young guy and his hot girlfriend. And the car was running the whole time playing blues music. And he was trying to fix something under his dash. Yeah. Or steal a car. I'm very trusting.

Trying to fix those wires under his dash. And then there was a drunk guy at one point that broke off his side view mirror, trying to maneuver around the... He was drunk driving? Yeah. Oh, and you witnessed it? When did that happen? It was at one point... You're describing me.

Did you make a citizen's arrest? No, he was outside and he broke off his side mirror on somebody else's vehicle. And then there was a debate as to whether or not his side mirror was already broken off. And the drunk guy won the debate. Well, he's probably probably the bottle lost um but the place that you moved from you said that there were like there was old what is it old like portuguese men that would stand outside in the alley all day and like cook fish oh well there's a portuguese club like right there so they had like a huge like chicken rotating smoker, cooker thing that was always out there.

But right outside your window, all the smoke would have drifted out. Does it smell delicious? When it's not 8 a.m. on a Sunday, it smells really good. And it also smells like someone's cooking Jabba the Hutt. It's the smoke coming out, and they're all like, Sorry to people who speak Portuguese, But these guys had gruff voices. Real low. They're like...

Are they background singers? Yeah. Background singers too. To the cantina bar. And the other thing Graham described about your new place was... I know what's coming. Oh, the tiny door? Something my mom calls,

Yeah, I got a cute little Irish door. She was so trying to be positive about it. And he said that you were like, Oh, yeah, there's a really short door. It comes up to my waist. And Graham was like, No, there's no way it'll come up to your waist. And then he got there and it did.

And he lost his mind. Yeah, I thought I was going to die from laughter. It comes up to, like, my chest. I'm 6'2", so it comes up to my chest. It's not so small. It's not like Alice in Wonderland. I need to drink a potion every time I go inside. But it is small.

It's, like, it's got a good, like, two feet that it should have on it. Right. Yeah. And I did really warn you, and you were like, nope. And then we went over, and you were,, nope. And then we went over and you were like, you're at the corner of the house, which is like a good 15 feet away from the door. And you stopped and were like frozen with laughter. It's a little door. And I guess when they were checking your references, they saw that you had broken through a wall

before, so you didn't need a regular door. It's a C-attached photo. I just handed them the photo check this out do you like celebrities signed it as a stock photo watermark do not own the rights to my own image i will not pay for this i put that on all my checks that's like the faded image behind my rent checks me bursting through my own check holding a check and it says the little watermark says ask me about my checks i just got new checks and uh you get to choose if you want it to say something on it and my old checks used to say ask me about my grandkids yeah that's great and nobody ever did

uh and the new one i got they did that one wasn an option, but I got, have you hugged your kids today? Oh, are these like preset sentences? Yeah, just above where your signature is. Have you hugged your kids today? That's pretty good. That's so weird. Do you know where your kids are? That's more ominous.

It's straight, well, my dad is my landlord. Oh. Like, he owns this house. Oh, all right. So every time he gets a check, he's like, nope. See you later. Slam. I. Oh, all right. So every time he gets a check, he's like, nope. See you later, slam. I'm gonna, your sister. He drives as fast as he can to hug my sister.

Oh, man. I enjoy, right now, I've just moved into a new place. joy um right now i've just moved into a new place and uh uh all checks have to go through the one guy who's lived at the house the longest and uh so it's like mandatory to write something funny in the memo uh-huh line why is that mandatory no because it's hilarious okay got it it's hilarious to give a check to somebody and i wrote this month for touching was the memo. For your first month's rent. Yeah. But he was telling me that all of the checks go through his hometown bank. And so this is years and years of hilarious blowjobs, et cetera, whatever in the memo line. So he did it to himself.

I said, can I write something funny in the memo line He said yes I did It was great One of the other roommates forgot to write something in the memo line He made a point of mentioning it To her Oh is that a phone call Kevin got a phone call

Unknown I don't answer those It was your ice cream calling It misses you Sorry baby ice cream calling it misses you but usually all right we have been eating me for 20 minutes oh sorry baby yeah it just comes up briars hi kevin i'm sorry you haven't bought a liter of ice cream today fat shit we're checking your credit card and we notice there's no ice cream expenditure i'm slowly gonna go i'm slowly gonna go for another stock photo and I'm gonna be too soft

to break through a wall. I'm gonna be like like mushing against the wall. Mush. I'm like don't worry I pressed myself against the wall

and slowly greased my way through like a paper bag. You just see kind of the outline of your face as you try to push it. Like a

like a like a like a oh I was gonna make a really disgusting image horrible how many do with uh defecation and tracing paper that's fine we don't need that but did did you have to break through paper or was it already pre-smashed pre-smashed that's how we do it in hollywood i don't break my own walls You simpleton It's like that TV show Smash

Pre-Smash Dave, what's the most expensive thing that you've ever done? Oh yeah I didn't really have anything either I thought that would be a fun thing of conversation I bought an iPad recently Oh yeah? And then I got that because this credit union thing was...

I was already budgeting and saving money well. And then this credit union thing happened, so I was like, oh, I have money. Free money. Why don't I get this thing that I don't need at all? I got it, and I'm like, this is good. I don't need this. But I have it now. But then, right afterwards, I get a letter, a collections letter from Medical Services Plan of BC,

which I thought was covered by my work. I owe them 600 bucks. So you're like, will you accept iPad as payment? Yeah, that's right. Do you accept iPad? Yeah, you know, I think one time when I didn't have any money at all, I bought a, like, first edition book. I remember that. I, like, bought, like, and I debated about it. Oh, how I debated. The joy of sex. Yeah, first edition book. I remember that. I bought, and I debated about it.

Oh, how I debated. The joy of sex. Yeah, first edition. Real Harry. It's mostly just a pamphlet. It just says real Harry. That was the original subject. It's a scratch and sniff.

It's the little bookmark that comes woven into the thing. It's a long braid of pubic hair. We've been really gross the last few episodes. Oh, episodes? Oh, thank God. I thought it was just me. There's something in the air. There's nothing in the air.

It's a real disaster. I bought, yeah, a first edition book at like an antique book collector. And it was like when I had no, like I didn't have enough money for rent and food to combine and for some reason i talked myself into it like i was like no yeah i just i definitely i've never read it uh it sat on my shelf forever and then i think in this last move i just gave it away like a book bag thing but i think that's that to me stands out as like an expensive purchase that netted nothing yeah and but i really couldn't let myself off the hook like to not buy it yeah the i think the most like impulsive uh uh purchase i've done that was like more than a hundred dollars was last year or i guess a year and a

half ago now when uh the tv broke and then oh yeah yeah And then it was on a Sunday night. Mad Men was ending and Game of Thrones was starting. And they were overlapping. So the DVR had to show one of them on the screen. And so I was like, oh, let's just turn off the TV. And it wouldn't turn back on. And so we didn't get to watch either. It did a tape, though.

It taped both. uh we we never got the tv working again i looked up what was wrong with it and it said uh you could uh it died of a broken heart uh you can't just fix it you need to call a guy or or just buy a new tv and i was like buy a new tv that'll be faster so I bought a new TV the next morning, like the moment the electronics store opened. And I didn't have a job at the time. You gotta have that TV, though. Yeah, yeah. You gotta find out.

I remembered something that I did buy that was wasteful, if you want to cut out that iPad thing, because that wasn't very good. Okay. Well, you know we edit this quite a bit. I fucking hope so. So all my episodes are 20 minutes long. I bought, there was a time where I was letting my sister make a lot of snap decisions wardrobe-wise for me. Snap decisions? Yeah, or I'd go shopping with her and I'd be like, I don't know.

She'd be like, you get it. Just get it. Just get it. You mean she would snap at you? Yeah. Just get it. Just get it. You mean she would snap at you. Yeah. You fucking idiot. You fucker. She doesn't like that at all.

My sisters are lovely. You always do this. Like a huge scene. I'm sorry. Excuse me, sir. I'm going to call the police and your wife. Not my wife.

That is my sister. Mm, gross. You married your sister i didn't what you did that none of that happened okay so she's that she she convinced me to like get this like really nice like tan suede leather jacket so you guys who know me and have seen me understand i could never wear something not possible was it like a jacket all over that was it like a sports jacket it was like a cool dude like cut at the waist like oh yeah if it had been black leather like cool dudes would have worn it but it was made of like light yeah exactly

this was made out of like light tan leather so like a like a 57 year old man will wear it in his like a baby blue corvette yeah that's what he wears it in to match your uh wallaby shoes that's right wallaby shoes and my like white tilly endurable shirts uh terrible i i still have it to this day i don't know how to get rid of that thing well yeah you can't can i sell it no you should have worn it to that stock photo shoot bring your own wardrobe absolutely Absolutely. I brought this and no shirt underneath. Isn't that weird? This is all I... This is what I wore when I used to deliver pizzas.

I thought this was real. Yeah. I walked over here in the rain, too. It's got a lot of weird spots. I'm a method stock photo actor. Also, yeah. Is it a suede? It's a suede?

Yeah, it's like a suede. You can't wear suede in the city. Nowhere. Yeah. It was stupid. I hope the moths in my place eat that thing's shreds. Where swayed in the city? Nowhere. Yeah, I... It was stupid. I hope the moths in my place eat that thing, Schrantz. I hope they get a taste for meat.

Blather it in barbecue sauce. Would you, like, why don't you just give it away to the Salvation Army or something? Oof, no. You just... They will not find a good recipient. No, I'm just kidding. I don't know. You just sleep on the street in your crazy, expensive jacket. Yeah, well, you keep it around in case you ever, you know, become that guy.

If there's ever an apocalypse, he who wears the fanciest jacket gets the gang. I'm pretty sure that's how apocalypse rules go. So I'll have this very nice jacket. And they'll all talk to me. That guy's got a really nice jacket. Do you want to go talk to him? Yeah, do you want to go talk to him oh hey thanks for talking to me i'm starting a gang so the apocalypse to you is like a junior high dance everybody's just really nervous standing on the fringes of the city going away to camp and meeting a bunch of new people exactly if i had worn that at camp narnia growing up i would not have cried myself to sleep

every night now is that a real thing yes yeah yeah i went to that growing up what is it what what is it it's just like a regular camp but i guess narnish narnish themed that's not right i guess it's a it's a camp like a narnia themed camp but i never read any narnia books it was just on the island i think think Salt Spring or something. Do you know about this? I've heard the name. It's a real popular camp. I went to a Christian themed camp.

They took all the fantasy Christian stuff out and left the old school fantasy Christian stuff in. What is in a Narnia camp? What is, okay, for anybody who doesn't know, including myself, what is a Narnia? Narnia is the Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. Okay. The Chronicles of Narnia, starring some kids. That's it. Was Tilda Swinton a part of the Narnia thing?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I saw part of it on... Yeah, I went to a Golden Compass camp. Oh, yeah, maybe that's the thing I'm thinking of. Where you have a bear that lives with you your entire life. A spirit bear. What happens at Narnia Camp? I'm really curious about it.

Really, not much. Like, you didn't, like, you really didn't need to know Narnia to get in there. That's the start. Like, did you read the books? Eh, it doesn't matter. So, this is a Nazlan pottery wheel. Like, they really weren't trying hard. There was just, like, archery and pottery.

And you can mail letters to your parents to tell them to come get you because you felt really sick and you hated it there. There's woods that you could go and play capture the flag or, as I like to call it, hide under a big root until it's over. Flag. Flag. Hide under a big root until it's over flag the flag the flag

what um archery was there any things like did you have to say an oath to the wardrobe maybe yeah

the bullies kept locking me in the wardrobe say go to fucking Narnia say an ass line for me ass man they called me that they called you ass man

yeah ass man the butt line well it sounds really crazy like it was just it was just like really vaguely Narnia themed I think they kept

counselors like kinda had some like Narnish Narnia things and they didn't have to pay the guy who wrote Narnia C.S. Lewis C.S. Lewis Jeff Narnia

yeah it's his it's the guy who wrote Narnia. C.S. Lewis. Jeff Narnia. Yeah, it's his memoirs. Nate Narnia. The Chronicles of Nate Narnia. His son is picking it up. Nate Narnia found some notes and he's writing some more Narnia books. Yeah. The sons are forming a new Narnia band.

Yeah. Camp Narnia band. Yeah, can Camp Narnia? It would be like going to Camp Hogsworth or something, wouldn't it? Well, Hogsworth. Which is the Butler camp. No, no, I'm talking about something different. Whatever you guys are thinking of, I'm thinking of a different, I'm talking about a different thing. But I guess maybe Narnia was public domain at that point?

Was it? No. Well, do they have to, like, if it's... Because if it was that's why there would be like weird like there would be there would have been a bunch of knockoff narnia movies around the same time as narnia like that thor like when thor came out there was like a bunch of weird like direct-to-video oh there's thor starring um the uh the guy used to be on 21 jump street don dillis oh yeahise. Richard Grieco? Oh, yeah, yeah. Richard Grieco, you're right. Don't tell me he's on Dora the Jump Street as the crazy chef.

I'm going undercover as Paul Prudhomme. I'm going undercover as four kids. He was a big man. Yeah, yes. What did you say? Chris... Chris Grieco. Yeah.

Richard Grieco. He plays Odin in it. What? Yeah, in the knockoff Thor movie that came out. He plays the Anthony Hopkins part. How old is Richard Grieco? No, no, not Odin. Loki.

He plays Loki. The trickster. Yes. He took time out of his busy producing Gigolo schedule. Oh, that's right. He does produce Gigolos. That's a real life. I think we talked about that. Probably. That's right. He does produce Gigolo's. That's a real life... I think we talked about that.

Probably. That's like a real life like, well, of Gigolo's. Yeah. It was a reality show about Gigolo's that Graham and I

were obsessed with for about eight weeks that it was on and then when season two started I couldn't get Graham to watch it with me. Well, it became basically like watching...

It was like watching weird... No, it was watching like weird porn together basically is what it devolved into. But you got to see the gigolos... Did gigolos devolved somewhere? The book didn't start devolved entirely? The best part was the one guy who wanted to be a rapper.

Oh, yeah, that's true. Yeah, that's true. That was a good plot line. And one that probably Grieco himself formulated in his beautiful head. His gross hair. Dave, what's going on with you? Narnia-wise. Narnia-wise? Not a heck of a lot.

I bought a new wardrobe. Abby's turning into a total witch. And I'm lying about it. When you were mentioning that you and your sister got married. Not true. Okay. Let's keep that clear.

I was looking up, baseball season's about to start, and I was looking up... Go to baseball. I was looking up former Toronto Blue Jay and New York Met Mookie Wilson. Oh, yeah? Why? Toronto Blue Jay and New York met Mookie Wilson. Oh, yeah? Why? Because there was a song on the Blue Jays'

album that they put out in 1991. Go on. They didn't do any of the singing. It was a tribute to the Blue Jays in support of the Variety Club of Toronto, of Ontario. Songs written in tribute? Like, they were famous? Yeah, there was the Ballad of Tom Hankey,

which was their reliever at the time. And famous there was the ballad of tom hanky okay which was uh their reliever at the time and then there was uh a version of help me ronda by the beach boys but it was uh help us mookie wow that doesn't well at least it rhymes um and uh yeah so i looked up mookie wilson today and uh it on website, there's a baseball reference website that gives you all their stats. And it will also tell you if they have any family. Playing or dead. No, that played baseball. Because I guess there's a lot of family ties.

Well, for Mookie Wilson, it said that he was the uncle and stepfather of this guy. I forget the guy's name. Something Wilson. Oh, weird. Wow. And his father was Betty Spaghetti. So I guess he was... His brother was married to a woman, and then he married his brother's wife?

Like, his brother married a woman and had a child he stole a base so he was he was the the uncle of the child and then he married this woman after i guess he killed his brother yeah exactly uh it said in brackets uh hamlet style yeah no spoilers uh mookie hamlet Mookie Hamlet. My nickname is Mookie, though. So what was... Does it explain why his nickname is Mookie? No, because he's Mookie. Well, what does that mean, though? That's not a thing, right?

Like, Mookie's not a... Oh, there's a few Mookies. Maybe his name is Mookle. Yeah, it's from Mookle. Like Michael, but with an O. Yeah. Like his dad drunkenly filled out the birth certificate. Moogle.

Guess what? Your name's Moogle. I didn't want to fix it, so you're Moogle. No. But the other thing that I really... The actual thing that I wanted to talk about was I got a little emotional the other day. Speaking of baseball, the movie Fields of Dreams was on. And I was saying to Abby, oh, yeah, this is a real movie that makes guys cry.

But like, it's not. I think the thing that I was acting all like tough about it. I think the thing that makes guys cry about it is, you know, he finally gets to play catch with his dad. His dad, Mookie, who's also his uncle. Who's been dead all these years. He's been playing catch. So, by the way, I'm your uncle. Wait, what?

Goodbye! He builds another stadium. He just keeps building stadiums to get him to come back. Can you explain it? The voice is like that was weird i apologize uh so i'm i'm acting all tough like yeah that's the playing catch with your dad that makes guys cry but you know if you ask me the really sad part is uh when burt

lancaster's character comes to life uh when when Costner's daughter falls off the bleachers and she can't breathe, and then the baseball player runs off the field and turns into Burt Lancaster. And as I was telling her this story, I was like, oh, I can't tell this story because I'm about to cry. Wow. So just telling the story of that one scene in Field of Dreams almost made me cry. Wow. So how does it go? He comes to life and saves the kid?

Well, we watched it, and it doesn't make any sense. And I think that's... Is it like in Ghost, where he suddenly can throw a punch? Well, what happens is... He punches her right in the lungs. They go to find this guy, Moonlight, Archie Moonlight Graham. Right. And it turns out he died in 1972.

But as they are driving back to the farm, they pick up a hitchhiker whose name is Archie Moonlight Graham. Sure. It was very common. But he's not an old man. He's a young kid now. He's like a 20-something kid. Right.

And he goes and plays baseball, and he winks at the pitcher, and the pitcher throws a ball at his head and then he gets a sacrifice fly and the guy scores anyway and then uh kevin costner's daughter falls off the bleachers uh gabby hoffman is that how does she fall off the bleachers oh timothy busfield is shaking her from 30 something uh he's trying to get kevin costner to sell the farm and he knocks his kid off the bleachers. Oh, God. There, now you don't even have to worry about your dumb kid. She's dead. Sell me this farm.

And she can't breathe, and so the baseball player steps off the field, and he turns into Burt Lancaster, who's an old doctor, who's the kid, an old grown man. It's terrible. I'm not going to cry. I'm now just like... The guy they pick up off the side of the street turns into a different guy. Yeah, as soon as he steps off the field, and then he saves the daughter. She was choking on a hot dog.

No, she wasn't. Yeah, she was. What? She was eating a hot dog. She gets knocked off the bleachers. She landed on her back. She's like, hot dog, please. They give her a hot dog.

She's like, what? She's just choking. She fell on like hot dog please they give her a hot dog she's like she's just joking she fell on a hot dog while i was watching it and it was like uh it's like really you you you made him give up his dream of playing baseball forever in this paradise so he could pull like you couldn't have figured out that she was choking on a hot dog yeah you needed a doctor to do that you want to get a second opinion i mean probably he thought it was a hot dog but's like, I want to see what a doctor has to say about this. Here's what the doctor did. Slapped her on the back.

That's all the doctoring she needed. Wow. And a father would never know that. He would never have an occasion to slap his daughter on the back. Way to go, honey. Stop fucking up, honey. And then Burt Lancaster just walks into the cornfield and i guess dies turns into vapor yeah yeah he turns into a very hot dog that she choked on yeah

so that's the twist is at the end of the movie is it they go for hot dogs and then the hot dog winks at the camera so you know it's is it a ghost of the hot dog no it's just like he turns back into the hot dog oh and like he's like oh let's go get a hot dog it's me i really liked the movie when i was a kid but watching it back i was like there's a lot of like oh they can there's just like no real logic set up for how ghosts work. Right, that's true. You do have to decide, like... Some rules. Yeah, can a ghost go through a wall? Can they play baseball?

Can they turn into a real person and then turn back into a ghost? Can they turn into a doctor, have all the doctor's knowledge, fix a girl, and then decide to not exist anymore? They can't just go back to being the guy they were. Yeah. They had to die and had to disappear. That seems like a movie written by a real committee.

Like, a lot of people with their own ghost ideas. Like, because, like, well, does the doctor slime her? Like, does he leave slime behind everything that he touches?

Did the ball, like, did the baseball have any... Was there any slime at all? There was no slime in the movie. Although, at the end, they are... He's... This is the episode of the show where I recount what happens in Field of Dreams.

I think a lot of people that listen to the podcast maybe have never seen this movie. It's a 23-year-old movie. That's true. It's classic. At the end of the movie, I guess word has gotten out about this ghost baseball field. And you can see cars lining up in the distance and it's probably like seven o'clock at night there are people who want to come and watch baseball sure uh but the baseball players have all just said we're done for the night you go

play catch with your dad so a bunch of people are going to come up and see kevin costa just playing catch with this guy who is a no-name baseball player and they have to start pulling out some stops to make it into a real show, like spinning plates and doing her choking on a hot dog. Do your choking thing again. Get the ghosts out here. And there's no parking. They build a field, but the voice never

told them, like, you know, there's going to be a lot of, do you want these people to use your bathroom when they're here? If you build it, they will come. Also parking, also bathrooms. You should charge like 40 bucks for come. Also parking, also bathrooms. Yeah. Also concession. You should charge like 40 bucks for parking

and 20 bucks for the bathroom. Get some stadium prices going in here. I don't think that I've ever seen Field Dreams from start to finish. It's good. It's great. It's great.

Yeah, it's great. You'll cry. If you sync it up with the last Santana record, it makes no sense. Yeah. Does not work at all, it makes no sense. Yeah. It does not work at all. The Rob Thomas one.

Yeah, that's... Well, she chokes on the hot dog when Rob Thomas starts singing. It's just like the ocean under the moon. Is that the lyrics? Yeah, yeah. Wow. Do you think he wrote them himself? In 35 seconds.

He probably wrote them on the spot. Choking on the biggest hot dog and she's dying soon. Gotta get a ghost cat to look at her lungs. Baby, get that hot dog out or just forget about it. So brassy.

This is all good stuff. I love that he has to look at her lungs. Yeah, I'm going to inspect her lungs. Was she born with this hot dog in here? I don't have access to a file, but let's take a look at that. It's a hot dog-shaped polyp. Let me see if she has one of those bracelets that says she has a hot dog in her lungs. She's got Oscar Mayer lungs.

I'm a hemophiliac, and I got a hot dog in her lungs. She's got Oscar Mayer lungs. I'm a hemophiliac, and I got a hot dog in my lungs. Don't remove it, but I'll die if you take it. And that's what happens at the end. She dies. Does she really? No. Oh. So the end is the cars come out and watch Kevin Costner play catch?

Well, you just see the cars lining up. Okay. How do you know they weren't forming a posse to get rid of that crazy guy who ruined the field? To bust those ghosts. Yeah, rural ghostbusters. Busting makes them feel good. We came out here to fuck these ghosts. Why do they want to have sex with them?

Well, because. You do. It's something unknown. Either try to kill it or have sex with it. It's primal. Yep. Let's see if that spider's back. No, we're good.

Speaking of both those things. Hey, Graham. Yes. How you been? Oh, just fine and dandy, I think. All right, moving along. No, just kidding. Exactly.

Here's the thing. This is a thing that happened today, and it's it's all the way crazy but i was telling you before the podcast i uh i took some money out of the bank uh proceeded to uh pay somebody that i needed to pay and then also uh lost the rest of the money fell out of my pocket so great uh it's okay don't even need it i'm super rich uh but i went to the bank, and I just got it from the teller, and there were hundreds involved. And we have these new $100 bills. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So cool.

That are made of a space age polymer, right? And part of them are see-through. Yeah. And they have a, on one side, there's a woman with Kate Gosselin hair looking through a microscope. Yeah, and she's discovering... Eight children. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Eight children?

She's discovering eight children. Yeah. Eight children. I discovered eight children. So, the guy... I literally forgot. I was like, what does that have to do with anything? I'm like, oh, Kate Gosselin's not just the woman with the haircut.

She also had eight kids. The bank teller, when he gave me the money, oh, Kate Gosselin's not just the woman with the haircut. She also had eight kids. The bank teller, when he gave me the money, said, I was like, oh, cool. It's these new hundreds. And he said, yeah, they're totally indestructible. And they smell like maple syrup. And I was like, funny bank teller. What a funny thing to say. And he said, no, seriously.

He just went like serious, like super serious face. And I was like, okay. Like it got really weird for me. So I walked out of the bank and like walked around the corner so that he couldn't see me. Because I was like, he probably says that to everybody. And then they go outside and smell the money and he laughs. I look at them and they give him a thumbs up. And he's like yeah and then they then he watches as they try and suck on it i'm just doing maple cocaine but i i shit you not guys i walked around the corner and smelled it i like and it really it

smells like maple syrup yeah and it's fucking crazy and then i when i uh was paying my bill uh the gentleman i was paying the bill too he was like i told him i was like it smells like maple syrup he smelled it and it smelled like maple syrup and then he looked it up on his computer uh under like snopes.com like the uh what do you call it urban legend urban legend website debing website. And it was not debunked. And there was a whole story about it on like from a news channel about does it or doesn't it smell? And they took it to like a place that makes sense. And they had them smell it. And they were like, it does have it. It doesn't have the smell it does.

So what the fuck? Right? Yeah. That's really weird. Why does it smell? Is it? Is it? Why would they do that?

And is it us just basking more and more in the cultural stereotypes? Are we taking them on as an identity? Well, I didn't know that that was a thing. Neither did I. It's crazy. I find it strange that a week ago, the government just announced that we're going to get rid of the penny. Yeah, that's right. The kids are going to grow up not knowing what that smells like. Or tastes like. I was really planning on every baby that came out going,

smell that, that's a penny. You're going to be lucky if I give you one of these. Stupid baby. Dumb baby. Moogle. I got more money in my loafers than you have in your whole bank account. In both of your little loafers. In your lungs.

Your tiny little hot dog lungs. Your little hot dog lungs. But it's, isn't that, it's... I don't know. That's great. That's totally crazy. It's great. Is it great?

Is it great? Or is it just... It just seems cartoonish suddenly. Yeah. Yeah, like why would the money be scented? Like maple syrup. What would the next best, next most Canadian scent be? Beaver.

Oh, yeah. Sorry, I'm making sex jokes tonight, ladies and gentlemen. No, it would be like a... Like a donut or a... A beer? A beer? A Mountie? A vulcanized rubber.

A vulcanized rubber? Are we famous for a vulcanized rubber? A hockey puck. Maybe an oil? Like a Ryan Reynolds? Yeah, maybe like... Does he do ads for any colognes no i think like people just want to smell him right yeah yeah he smells like the green lantern men want to smell him women

want to smell of like him women smell him men want to smell like that's right we want to smell them and want to smell like them uh so that happened and then on the way over here um i was at a uh coffee shop and just as i was about to leave uh a um a junkie let's say guy who uses drugs but not pleasure yeah for other than for work or a ghost seeing he fell down on the floor and was had was like basically speaking in tongues he was saying a seizure or something but it wasn't a seizure it was weird because he was making

full sentences but they were all nonsensical and then he snapped like that news reporter after last year's Grammy Awards what was that what? like an aneurysm or something she was just on TV and she just kept making reporter after last year's grammy awards what was that like an aneurysm or something what did she have like a blood clot she was on she was just on tv and she just kept making words that saying things that sounded like words but i don't remember like a cadence of a sentence but it was like made

no sense and you could tell that she hurt herself yeah what am i saying like like breaking down it's at first it's like kind of funny and you're like oh wait this is like really serious this is actually scary was she okay? Yeah, I think she ended up being okay. Yeah. Wow. Our thoughts and prayers are with her. Yeah.

So this guy, same kind of thing, just all of a sudden fell on the floor and started speaking crazy talk, and then he snapped back into normal time and told the guy, like, don't call the ambulance. And then he looked at me and said, how did I get here? And I was like, instead of saying, like, I don't know, because I didn't know. What did you say? I said time travel. Which was really stupid to say.

No, you didn't. Yes, I did. Time travel? Because it was just me and him and the barista. We were the only people in the place. Did the barista get a good laugh? The barista was on the phone. So it was just me and the guy, really.

And she was on the phone going, I don't know. The guy said time travel. I'm just relaying it. But then I helped him up. I helped him up. It wasn't just me making light of the situation. I helped him up. Did he know you were joking?

Or was he like, what? No, yes. He made a wry smile, like, aren't we having a good time? And then he apologized to me and the barista and said, I feel like a real shitty guy. Real junkie. Like a real dumb dumb. I think the time travel joke was a good move. Right?

It deflates the tension of the situation. Yeah. It was just, I felt it. You dealt it. I felt bad about it the second it was out of my head. And you smelt it? The maple syrup. You're right there.

You're looking at this guy having a seizure and you're smelling a $100 bill over him. Time travel. Sm smell this future bill that should be uh i think at the bank now you know how like uh uh at if you get a a blizzard at dairy queen they have to hold it upside down right they make you smell it they that should be a thing at the bank like they have to smell it and they say he who smelt it and they give it to you that's a good policy that's fun a jar of maple syrup for you to smell till i get a comparison and also like a jar of vinegar to cleanse your palate and then the old hundred dollar bill yeah the thing too about this guy that passed out he had a very this was not his first time doing this because when the barista he asked the barista to help him up and the barista

was like weighed like you know 100 pounds and there was no way that was going to happen. And the guy said, you don't worry, you could wash your hands after. So it was like, this is like something that has happened to him a lot, but I got him up. He was fine. He's fine, guys. Have you washed your hands since? Uh, yeah. The second I walked into your house, I went straight to the bathroom and washed my hands.

So I wouldn't touch the front door of your place. Or, uh, Kevin. What? I just hear the sound of a bursting wall as I burst out and run away. Well, I guess you did a good thing. Um, halfway. Do you feel a good Samaritan-y

after this? Yeah. I feel like the humorous Samaritan. Yeah. Because it could the humorous Samaritan. Yeah. Because it could have been time travel. I guess that's the other thing. I never saw him walk in. He was just on the ground all of a sudden. I just imagine you saving an old granny from a burning building

and you'd be like, whew, aren't you a little old to be getting hot flashes? I'm really sorry about all your possessions. Sorry we couldn't save your photo albums or cats. My husband's in there. Sorry about that too. Go ahead and do it. Oh, I hear you're single.

I can't do one nice thing, but I always have to make a sarcastic comment. Just real quick. Wow, yeah. Could you press the cross light for me? Yeah, no problem. You bag of shit. Like, I run out of clever things and I just start insulting people.

Isn't that sort of what... Hold that elevator. Fuck you. Doesn't, like, Spider-Man do that? Doesn't Spider-Man say a fun thing before he does... Yeah, yeah. It was kind of his trademark. But it became, like, a little thing where he was just like,

like, don't worry about it, just your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man wasting his fucking time changing the light for you. He's time-traveling, you idiot. He's time-traveling, seizure robot. Changing the light. Why is he a robot? Well, I guess he could have been. Spider-Man.

Spider-Man wasn't a robot. He thinks everything's a robot. He deals mostly with robots. Yeah, they really let go of that Spider-Man conceit in the movies. Oh, yeah. They just decided to make him not funny at all. He never said anything funny in any of those movies. Not on purpose.

He does a lot of funny dances, though, in the third one. I imagine the new Spider-Man, Andrew Garfield, from the Social Network, will be able to deliver some pretty good zingers. Do you think this is going to be a real zinger? Oh, yeah, he's known for that he seems like funny he seems like he also seems from the trailers he seems like he's not as much of a like a full-on dweeb as much as he's kind of like kind of like a gothish type of dude like he has like a skateboard and a hoodie and he's like i don't fit in i look like i'm 22 and i'm pretty handsome but like i listen to like Evanescence. I heard that Bruce Valanche was brought in to write some great Spider puns. So lots of Liza Minnelli riffs and like, out of date.

He's still the joke, go-to joke guy. Nobody's replaced him, right? I think he worked on the most recent Oscars. Yeah, yeah. That dude's got a running gig. Yeah. Punch-up gig. Ah, man.

I want his life. Yeah, right? Right? And everything about it. Yeah, yeah. I think that dude's got a running gig. Yeah. Punch-up gig. Ah, man. I want his life. Yeah, right? Right? And everything about it. Yeah. His looks. His fame. His friends. I want the circular beds. The circular seats. The circular couches. I don't know. Imagine he just has some sort of weird degree of expectation. Yeah, he hates straight

edges. He hates it. The new Spider-Man, though, is straight edge. Alright, let's go that's good stuff overheards overheard overheards now what these are is these are things where you overhear what you hear and then you uh go around to people and you're like hey i think i heard what you said but they're like okay and then you're like okay never mind but i did overhear what you said. But they're like, okay. And then you're like, okay, never mind. But I did overhear what you said. And I don't want to talk about it.

And they're like, do I know you? And you're like, okay. Okay, well, I heard what I heard. And every week we like to start with the guest for Overheard. But before we start with the guest, it's time for my favorite segment on the show, which is a segment called celebrity birthdays today is uh it is uh april april the third oh happy april fools did april fool did you get fooled i did not uh oh yes i absolutely did what uh a local comedian jai Harris on his Facebook wrote a thing about how he just found out that he was the father of an eight-year-old child.

And then Graham came over that night to watch TV, to watch The Mad Men. And I was like, Graham, did you hear about Jai Harris? And Graham was like, no, this is April Fool's. And I felt very dumb. That's the greatest, though. Somebody who's actually, this is April Fool's, and I felt very dumb. That's the greatest, though. Somebody was actually fooled by an April Fool's. I think it's really tough these days to get someone... I had even, earlier in the day, I'd been like, oh, well, this is...

I'd seen something else that I was like, this is obviously an April Fool's. So you hadn't forgotten that it was April Fool's Day? I was aware, but it was just... It was too tempting to believe it. Yeah, that's true It's fun to fall for things Yeah, yeah It's absolutely fun to fall for things

It's a It's a It's a fun to fall for Yeah, I did not fall for anything So celebrating a big celebrity birthday today on April 3rd, do you not interrupt at this point? Oh, sorry.

Nope. Do you have to? I'm really off my stroke. Oh. Okay. What? What's supposed to happen? Graham's supposed to interrupt with Hulk Hogan news.

No, but I should have looked up. Let's do it. I didn't. I completely blanked. I didn't look up any Hulk Hogan news. I don't even know. Maybe somebody did. Do you have access to your own email address?

I mean, yeah, we do, but I feel like Do it, do it. I don't mind. It's such a hit segment now. I fooled both of you! I totally have some Hulk Hogan news. You guys, get out of here. I tore my shirt off. It was pre-ripped.

You April Fool's me? I totally, two days later, April Fool's you both. Oh, man. We do. We have... There's actually Hulk Hogan news this week in two parts. One is a sent-in bit of news. Not really a bit of news.

I mean, it was something that was on the sports highlight reels. Apparently, there's a gentleman that shows up to every Pittsburgh Penguins game. The hockey squadron. Hockey squadron. His name in real life is Cy Clark. Any relation? Yeah, he's my dad. And he goes in the crowd.

He's always dressed like Hulk Hogan. And apparently he got in a bit of a... He's dressed like Hulk Hogan in a hockey jersey. In a hockey jersey, that's right. He's got a face like Hulk Hogan. He's got the glasses. He's got a mustache. He's wearing a bandana.

You know Hulk Hogan's signature glasses? Yeah. Signature bifocals. His wire frames. His flip up like uh duane wayne duane wayne um so he will you know he will uh kind of communicate with the players via hulk hogan movements the the twisting of the arm putting it up to the ear etc and um That's what someone means when they say, you twist my arm. You twisted my arm. You really twisted my arm, Hogan.

So this week, in a game against the Philadelphia Flyers, Scott Hartnell did one of the wind-up ear things to him, giving him a taste of his own Hulkamania. I saw a photograph of it, and the guy who does the Hulk Hogan, who pretends to be Hulk Hogan at the hockey games, it looks like a 90-year-old Hulk Hogan. It does, yeah. Actually, we also had somebody send in a couple weeks ago a photo that they took at a ski

hill of a security guard that looked like a fat Hulk Hogan wearing a parka. It was a great photo. And apparently this is just an addendum to the hockey story is that the player on the Pittsburgh Penguins, Malkin, first name. You have Jenny. There you go. Whenever he scores a goal, the real Hulk Hogan comes up on the Jumbotron and says, what are you going to do when Malkamania runs wild?

Pretty good. Trademark Malkamania. So that was – and then the real news, Hulk Hogan news you can use is July 3rd, 2012. The day before your independence. I want you to mark this on your calendar. July 3rd, 2012 is when a certain movie that Hulk Hogan starred in

is finally being released on DVD. A little movie called No Holds Barred. Oh! Which up until now only existed on VHS. Now you can add it to your DVD collection, burn it, send it to your friends. I've never seen it.

It's about wrestling? It's about wrestling. He plays a character named Rip Thunderlips. I think it's his name. No. I think it is. What year was it made? 90-ish?

Oh, like 89, 90. Like very, yeah, 92 maybe. He fights a guy named, he's a wrestler. And in this movie wrestling is like super real. Like lots of damage goes on. Oh, okay. Like the wrestler. Yeah. And this guy Zeus

challenges him to a fight. Who plays Zeus? The guy who plays the criminal in the Dark Knight who takes away the detonator device on the boat. Oh, big dude. Yeah, big giant black guy. Played the president. Eric Roberts.

Yeah. Oh, played the president in Idiocracy? No, I think in The Fifth Element maybe he was the president. I don't know. Some future movie where he was the president. Anyways. Anyway. He played Zeus.

He had a Z carved into either side of his head. Carved or shaved? Shaved. My mistake. And then... Or gelled. Or gelled. Z or Z.

So he was just an actor. And then he became a real life wrestler in the WWlife wrestler in the WWF and challenged Hulk Hogan. He said... It's a real art imitates art. Yeah. He said that Hulk Hogan never would have beat him if it wasn't for the script. And so he went and wrestled him in real life and lost because of the script again. There should have been Hogan and tag team and the script is on the side where he tags the script in.

Yeah, the screenwriters. I'm Torkus. Yeah, so that's your Hulk Hogan news. Hulk Hogan news. The Hulk Hogan news. Well, we celebrate every Hulk Hogan news, including this one. Huzzah.

Huzzah. Now back to the business at hand, the business of getting down. It's celebrity birthdays. Happy celebrity birthday to Beverly Hills 90210 star Jenny Garth. Oh, 52? 40. Oh, what? For zero.

Who wasn't it? Ian Ziering last week, who was 50? 48. 48. Wow, what? He's that much older? I think they were in the same grade. Oh, yeah.

They were in the same grade! Well, they certainly weren't eight grades apart on the show. That would have had very little in common. Happy celebrity birthday to actor and comedian and a thousand word star Eddie Murphy is 51 today wow so Eddie Murphy is only 3 years older than Ian Ziering

Eddie Murphy? THE Eddie Murphy Edward Murphy you probably know him better as Edward R. Murphy from his newscaster work Edward R. Murphy. Oh, yes, yes, that's right. From his newscaster work. Edward R. Murrow. Ah, wow. And his famous catchphrase.

Good night and carry on. Good luck, Mr. T's fucking me in the ass. Yeah, you dropped your ice cream. Et cetera. Happy birthday to famousous Frasier brother David Hyde Pierce Is 53 today Happy birthday to

Famous Baldwin Billy Baldwin brother Alec Baldwin Is 54 today And the answer to this week's Celebrity trivia question This man is the dreamiest man on daytime TV. It's the star of The Young and the Restless or Days of Our Lives.

I forget which one. Eric Braden. He plays Victor. Yeah, I think that's The Young and the Restless. Yeah, sure. He's 71 today. Happy birthday, Vicky. Oh, wow.

Well, happy birthday, one and all. Right? Did you know? Did you know any of those? I know Jenny Garth. I know Eddie Murphy. I know them both. I already said happy birthday to them.

This is old news to you. You gave them a card with a $100 bill in it. It smelled like bacon. With a check that said uh who are you again is the memo thing yeah and you sent a thousand dollars to any movie this is one dollar for per word that you're allowed to say every word you say you lose a dollar and what happens at the end he loses all the words and then he dies what is this he put out a movie he put out a movie this year that movie two two or three weeks ago called a thousand

words right right and there's a tree that has a thousand leaves on it and every time he says a word a leaf falls off the tree and when the tree is bare uh he will be dead so and they filmed it apparently like in 2008 oh is that right yeah it was one of those let's see if anyone will notice if we put this out in march of 2012 we're all gonna die that year anyway right guys it would be really funny if there was somebody who is like a really big star now but just had a non-speaking role yeah that film has like a barista or something they're like is that too small a part to put them on the poster to get ryan Ryan Gosling on the poster. Eddie Murphy and Ryan Gosling.

Jennifer Lawrence has two movies out in March. One of them, she plays the mime. She's a street mime. Yeah. One of them, she plays Katniss Magoo. Lordy. Anyways, overheards. We like to start with the guest.

Kevin, did you bring the heat? No. I didn't. I spent a lot of time riding around. Riding around public transit. On your unicycle. On my street legal ATV. On public transit.

With my headphones on. Illegal ATV. What kind of crazy components would you have to put on an ATV? A windshield? You'd have to make it fast enough to go in traffic. I think they're fast enough. They're faster than a scooter.

I'd put an Acura hood ornament and when they get pulled over, it's an Acura. It's fine. I used to know these guys. Well, I knew one guy who was in a group of guys who loved Acura Integras and used to call them

Tagzis. What? So that's the worst one. Oh, check out that Tagzi. And I was like, my mom drives a Tagzi. What? And they just start

hanging out with her mom all the time. I was like, these boys are very nice. I get to drive around. She doesn't know it. She thinks she drives a white car. Me in the white car.

I think these guys that I would drive around taking the white car and getting a wheel change for me. The white tagsy. The white tagsy. No. The only overheards I have are the ones where you hear someone say something and you're like, what? And then at the time,

like right when you're saying what, you realize that you just said it and you're like, what? Oh, dissociative fugues. Yes, that's right. And you wake up and someone says time travel to you. How did I get here? What? What did I just say? Yeah, so the only things I had were maybe a month or two ago, Paul F. Tompkins and Super Ego came here for the comedy festival, and they put on a show together, Super Ego, really great podcast,

part of Paul F. Tompkins' previous guest, the show, you know him from nowhere else. And they came to that show, and afterwards, fortunately enough, I went to have a beer with friends, and then Dave, being acquaintances with Mr. Tompkins, got them all to go to that same bar. And I was too afraid to talk to any of them. They're all fantastic, and I get really nervous around that type of thing, which is why I'm so casual here. I knew you guys. That's not true. I knew it. I get really nervous around that type of thing, which is why I'm so casual here. I knew you guys.

That's not true. I knew it. I get really nervous here, too. But I got there, and then as I was leaving, Dave was nice enough to introduce me to Paul F. Tompkins, and he was very kind, and I told him to shut the fuck up. I immediately said it, and I'm like, what? I do not know this person well enough to try and get away from being this like, oh, yeah, he's just being funny. We're goofing around.

Yeah, he knows me. I'm just like, I'm not really that sour. And he knows. He's like, no, no, not at all. Now Dave has to like apologize or something. He probably didn't. I just felt like a dumbass. I don't remember that at all.

Oh, wow. He was like, oh, well, we don't know each other. I'm like, oh, why did I do that? The worst one was I talked to Nat Gorley of Super Ego for two seconds. He was talking to someone, and I was leaving, and I just wanted to interrupt to say, like, oh, I really appreciate what you do. I think it's very fun. And then he's like, oh, great.

Thank you so much. He's very gracious. And then I was like, all right, well, goodbye. You two do it to it. Do it to it to some strangers why why would i say that do what to what i don't know it's just some lady like i think about girl he's married it wasn't like i was like trying to get ready to get hooked up with that chick like not at all i thought do it i don't know what i was saying you gotta do it embarrassing do it to it i've never said that in my life So yeah, overheard myself saying that

And I'm the dumbest person alive That was a weird, cathartic thing for you I really had to get it out I'm glad I'm glad that it was all here That it all happened I cried a little bit, guys You know, this feels like one of those things

One of those men camps We're in a man cave Yeah, men go away we're manscaping my dad never taught me how to act around celebrities yeah exactly he took you down to the basement he had some cardboard cutouts of clint eastwood now what are you gonna say what are you gonna say so if clint eastwood had like a podcast podcast called uh oh the cl Clintcast. The Clintcast. You're on with the wood.

Clintural stimulation. Oh, gross. Yeah, sorry. There's nothing gross about that. That's a woman's part of her body that works and you do that. No, there is a part of a woman's body called the Clintaurus. Yeah, especially... It's gross if you imagine Clint Eastwood doing anything with it. Okay, now you know.

Or if he's the part of the body. Anyways, it's gross either way. That's the scene in Grand Torino. Because you can only see his eyes and they're all squinting at you. Yeah, he's taunting you. And he's going, Get away from my Grand Torino.

That's the only movie I will ever remember him for. Yeah, it'll be on his tombstone. Star of Grand Torino. It will be shaped like a Gran Torino. Dave, do you have an overheard? Mine is from today. I was walking downtown. I got to work late.

I had a doctor's appointment. I had a thing removed from my back. It was super gross. Oh, what? A Quatto. You got your fin removed? Yep, he had a Quatto removed. I had what? Really? A Quatto. You got your fin removed? Yeah. You had a Quatto removed? I had one of my Quattos removed. The one who wanted to get his own apartment. Yeah.

Like, all right, I'm cutting you loose. Good luck with that. Do you think anyone's going to rent to you a Quatto? We'll see. I haven't seen... Quatto's from Total Recall, right? Yeah. I haven't seen Total Recall.

Oh. Except for the three boobs. And they're remaking it. There's a trailer for the new one. Is there really? Yeah, yeah. Are they going to have the old lady that takes her head off and then it blows up? Will they have the three boobs?

Oh, I hope so. I think they're not going to have any of it because it's directed by the guy who directed Underworld and that. Oh, Mick G. No, not Mick G. Yeah, Len Wiseman. Anyway, so I got downtown outside my work at like noon, and there were these two high school kids, which I thought was weird, because it's a Tuesday in the middle of April, or

the beginning of April, to be fair. Yeah, true. Oh, so you mean there were two cool kids. Yeah, two cool kids. Well, let's see how cool they were. there were two cool kids yeah two cool kids well let's see how cool they were uh there was a guy uh this guy who was like they were both like 17 and uh it was a guy and a girl and they they i kind of got the vibe that they weren't dating they were just sort of uh you know she carried a torch for him yeah sure uh but he was not interested uh and uh I just overheard him saying

I'm so fucking excited to see Coldplay and she perfectly reasonably said I don't really like Coldplay and he just said well you suck yeah wow relationship over

yeah wow yeah I didn't know teenagers enjoyed Coldplay I didn't know anybody did There's a place for them I think that's the only spot where My eldest sister who's over 40 And a teenager

You're married to a lady that's over 40? I'm not married to that sister I'm not married to either of my sisters What's happening here? When you really want... I'm overheard. Okay, here's an overheard app. Me and my sister's wedding.

I heard this guy go, should I stand up and stop this? Did I miss the forever hold your peace thing? Yeah. Yeah, and he went... Why is he wearing that weird suede jacket? The bride wore white. The bride wore Vera Wang.

He wore this weird suede weird danielish leathers no shirt what did he tattoo a bow tie on his neck no it's just a dragon shaped like a bow tie eating his own bow tie fancy robotos guys that's great

my overhead comes courtesy of that great lady on the street we call Public Transit. I was going to say, mom. Is it the New York Times that they call the Gray Lady? The Gray Lady. What would they call TransLink? You know what? I didn't realize until today that trans link because i was on the website looking up and i was like this sounds like a real like like a place where other

transgendered people can get together and just talk you know like i feel like there was probably a transgendered support group that was like what about trans link and it was already taken oh yeah right and then what do you call it? Transgroup? Trans Connects. Yeah, Trans Connects. Not bad. Anyways. Transshake. It sounds like handshake.

Yeah, Transshake. Nope. Transjob. Not bad. Stick to my job of bursting through walls. Transbake. It's a baking collective of transgender people. That's right.

These are all great. Great suggestions. These are all great, great suggestions. These are all going in the box. No bad suggestions. No such thing as a bad idea. Yeah. So I was on the transit, and there was a very, very distinguished-looking older man.

This, to me, is what, when I picture myself as being an old person this is what i would like to look like okay like somebody who's uh wearing like a very well put together outfit um he was in a wheelchair but he was just looked very like he looked he looked like an old man but a very healthy well-to-do old man somebody who's put together not that healthy if he's in a wheelchair well i don't know what's happened to him. Maybe he had bum legs, you know? But he seemed like...

Or leg bums. Oh, that's true. He's got leg bums. So he was sitting there, and he was just like, I don't know, he was like the king of the bus. He was great. And then at one point,

a lady got on, a very haggard lady. And she, like, got on the bus and then, like, fell into her seat. And she was just, like, everything about her was sloppy. She was, like, if you drew her, she'd just be a scribble. Sure. And she sat down on the seat and she was, like, the day I've had. And the old guy just with perfect, like, he was decreeing it, he said, well, you can have the rest of the day off. Oh, wow.

Awesome. Great work, old man. Man. That's the type of situation. You get up, you walk up to him and you go, you're my mentor now. Yeah, yeah, exactly. I will follow you. Yeah.

It was just great. You can have the rest of the day off. And it was just great. Yeah, it was just great. You could have the rest of the day off, and it was just great. And I just feel like there was one guy that was talking on his cell phone really loud, and he turned off his cell phone during that moment. It was just great.

He really corralled us all, and that's why he's the king of the bus. Magnetic. Yeah, right? And who, well, will he sire a prince? A suitable heir? Yeah, exactly. Probably too late for him. He's running out of time there. No, you prince. Suitable hair. Yeah, exactly. Probably too late for her. He's running out of time there. No, you know, never say never.

Tony Randall. Am I right? Was he carrying a cooler? He's like, I just came from the sperm bank. Got all my stuff. I'm getting my hair. I withdrew all my sperm. And then he left it on the bus.

Oh, no, I took it out of the sperm and I lost it. I lost my sperm. And then the scribble lady's like, I do not. The day off, she grabbed the cooler. I'm going to go. We're writing a movie right now. What's it called? What's this movie called?

Quick. It's about a senior. It's about a lady who steals his sperm. Oopsie baby. Not bad. Oopsie baby is pretty good. Oh, you say that like you want more sedition. Okay.

I don't know. Accidental infant. I might have spiked my... There it is. Accidental infant. I was just going off of Oopsybaby. I was doing the poor man's version. I saw an ad coming out of the Canada line.

Accidental infant. A Canada line ad that was for some sort of house insurance and it was like accidents happened and it had a baby who had plugged the sink and the sink was overflowing everywhere and I instantly assumed that they were making a joke about the baby being an accident.

Because the baby purposely blocked that sink. You need ovary insurance. The kid is an accident. Oh lordy Guys We also have overheards And oversees Sent in to us

From around the world What? Yeah Via the internets If you want to send us An overheard You can send it to Stoppodcastyourself

At gmail.com Do it And contribute to my India a go-go This first one comes from Danny S. in Kelowna, BC. I went to make an appointment to get my taxes done the other day, and when I walked in, the receptionist at the front desk was fast asleep. Well, it's a really slow tax time.

Exactly. I stood there for a minute or so, waiting to see if she would wake up or if someone else working there would come by and notice. No one did, so I took a picture of her. Which he has sent the picture, and it... I mean, picture worth a thousand words. You gotta see it. She eventually snapped awake and started to help me. While entering in my information, however, she nodded off again for a little bit.

Wow. What? When I later had my appointment, I brought it up with the accountant and she just laughed and said, yeah, we've heard that a couple times today. It's okay, though. She's fine. Oh, yeah. What do you think? Is that a narcoleptic?

It has to be. A party night? Or just like maybe a new mother. Yeah. Maybe just fucking lazy. Yeah. A real Garfield situation. Yeah, was it on a Monday? It was on a Monday.

Were there empty lasagna dishes everywhere? Yeah. Was she saying, That's Garfield, right? Have you ever witnessed someone... Or like, what would you do in that situation? I would leave and come back later. I'd be like, I don't want to be there when this person wakes up.

Why do you think? If you walked in and she was asleep already? Yeah. I would check for gunshot wounds. No, these are stabs. It's cool. Oh, yeah, that's all right. I'll stab a few more.

Do my trademark. I'm totally OCD about more. Do my trademark joke. I'm totally OCD about it. They're not symmetrical. Well, there's 13. That's an unlucky number. 21. There we go. It's a winner.

Blackjack. Zorro Z. Zip, zip, zip. Now, this next one comes from Sierra C. Sierra C. Sierra C? Because I missed. Yeah, exactly. I am sitting outside a cafe in Austin, Texas.

And it's important to note that while it is, this is during South by Southwest. Oh, la-di-da. During South by? South by. Right? I am not at, uh, or terribly near a music venue. So this is just somebody sitting at a cafe. Yeah, but during South By, even a laundromat

could become a music venue. Who knows? You open your eyes and it's like C&K or something. Yeah, exactly. And they're playing your sweater. Jawbox are totally... A 20-something guy and what appears to be a 50-something man are sitting nearby the older guy is speaking really loudly and in kind of that dumb x roadie kind of way i keep thinking the kid is

doing an interview or something but he isn't writing anything down and has no recording equipment the old guy immediately starts talking about being a deadhead and uh this is uh one of the gems there's a bunch of gems here, but this was my favorite one. Deadheads come in all types. I know one lady who's seen them 300 times and won't listen to the records. Because I guess if you've seen them 300 times, it's just not the same.

Yeah, why not go see a band that you've never heard on the album of... Go see them live 300 times make sure you really like them I mean I think it only takes you two times to decide if you like them one time to decide you hate them yeah but how often did she

pass by the merch table and go should I indulge I support them with my ear dollars yeah you're welcome and my mushrooms in my mouth. Also welcome. Yep.

It's weird. If you go to a, like, a small show in a club, the merch table is just, like, three or four, you know, t-shirts, maybe, of merchandise and a few albums. But if you go to a huge arena show, it's not that much bigger. No, you're right. It's still just a table. Yeah, exactly. It's not like an interactive experience

where you walk into the Coca-Cola Presents. It's not like that Star Wars ride at Disneyland. You see the show, and then you get in there. There's three or four different experiences you're going to have. Like,

it can go a few different ways. If you go with Bono or you go with any of the other guys. Yeah. Alan something. Yeah,

Alan. Alan Potato. There's Alan Potato. Yeah. Jerry Irish. Yeah. Leprechaun O'Gillicuddy. O'Gillicuddy.

And their keyboardist, Dave Keyboards. Yeah. Dave O'Keyboards-y O'Gillicuddy. O'Gillicuddy. And their keyboardist, Dave Keyboards. Yeah. Dave O'Keyboards. Dave O'Keyboards, yeah. This last one comes from Marilyn W. from Roswell, Georgia. GA, that's Georgia, right? Yep.

It's the only G state, I think. Oh, Kentucky. There's Kentucky. There's Gavatta. Kentucky. And Gontana Oh yeah That's what people Oh

Gone fishing Gontana There's Gorth Dakota And Gouth Dakota Yep Uh California Uh

Go Washington Ha ha ha Connecticut Connecticut Uh Go Etc Go

Gort Uh This is an overheard I stole From my friend who's on probation okay sounds like maybe you should be on probation you think this conversation was from a group probation orientation and get to know you mixer a group probation orientation yeah so these are a bunch of people who are all on probation. A GoPro or blah, blah, blah. A GoPro, yeah. How is it? GoPro or? Grow.

Pro. Ori. Or. So the conversation goes as follows. Probation officer, any part of your, oh, sorry. As part of your probation, you may not possess any firearm. Person one, what about a hunting rifle? Probation officer, that is a firearm, so no.

Person two, can I keep the shotgun under my bed if it's not loaded? Probation officer, okay, the shotgun is also a firearm, so again, no. You cannot have any sort of projectile weapon when you are on felony probation. Not even a slingshot. Person three, what about a chopper? Probation officer, what's a chopper? Person three, an automatic assault

rifle? Probation officer, no. So there you go. That is terrifying. It's good. You know, you've got to cover it in the meeting. Do you ever feel like you're the smartest person at the probation mixer? At the probation mixer.

Who stole all the nuts? That's the time that you would pipe up and be like, what about my scuba? What's a scuba? It's a bazooka that I wrote scuba on. How many things are called a chopper? I mean, there's a scoober? It's a bazooka that I wrote scoober on. How many things are called a chopper? I mean, there's a motorcycle. There's a helicopter. There's apparently that gun.

There's anything that chops. Yeah, like some sort of, like a blender. There's a guy who's really good at air hockey. Is that true? Like he calls himself chopper? I'm the chopper. Someone who gives you really good sideburns. Those karate chop massages.

Yeah, sure. Yep. Oh, yeah. Just any karate instructor can call himself the chopper. What about a chopper? I own this guy who does karate really well. So my sideburns. Wasn't there a movie with a fat Russell Crowe called Chopper?

And it is no overhands that have been written in real time. I'm pretty sure there was. Overhands from your telephone. If you want to telephone us, our phone number is 206-339-8328. That's 206-339-8328. Do we get to listen to this? Oh, before phone calls,

the movie I was talking about was Chopper starring Eric Bana. Oh, Eric Bana. Yeah, Eric. Banana. Eric Bana. Eric Bana. Oh, yeah. Eric. Banana. Eric Banana. Eric Banana. Hi, this is Taylor W. from Seattle, Washington, with The Overheard. So my fiance and I were at the mall in the U District area called the U Village.

And we happened to walk by a man on a cell phone and all of a sudden as we walk by we i hear him say that is d as in dante's inferno what that is d as in dante's inferno well you know when you're like trying to come up you like like that Brian Regan bit. Yeah. About trying to come up with, you know, mnemonics. Mnemonics? Yeah. Letters or things, examples, when you're talking over the phone and you can't quite. Yeah. D as in Dante's Inferno.

So do you think that they were just in the middle of reading that? Or like, when they got to I, would they also have to be like, I as in Dante's Inferno. That's W as in Wuthering Heights. Doi. That's I as in India Go-Go. I really, Dante's Inferno, is that a thing that enough people,

well, I would have said Dante's Peak myself. What is the D in Alpha Bravo Charlie Delta Echo Foxtrot Golf Hotel India Kilo Lima Mike November

Chuck Oscar Papa Quebec Romeo Sierra Tango. He can't do it. Uniform. Uniform?

Is that right? Victor. VW. Whiskey. X-Ray. Yankee Zulu. Yay! Amazing.

We did it. We did it. Man, when did you learn that? In plane school? I used to edit on this TV show called Wings Over Canada. Oh, that's right. Yeah. Which is kind of like plane school.

Yeah, kind of like that. Wow. And I tried to impress the boss one day, and he didn't care. You wasted two minutes of my life for that shit? Yeah, it took me two minutes to do that. Okay, wait for it. Wait for it. Wait for it.

Yeah, wait, wait. No, let me start over again. Okay, the grouch. You're doing all the associative things that was really that was really crazy you question you as uniform but that's the perfect thing yeah not like he's not well he made that up and that is the perfect thing you should call it is that really the one i think you make up any of it yeah the thing is that he was doing it for real the phonetically sound like another word that could start with another letter. It's like half of the letters sound like each other. B, C, D, G, et cetera.

Yeah, that was really great. Ponte's beak. Next phone call. Hi, Gabe and Graham and possible guests. Hi. This is Erin from Seattle. I'm so possible. My boyfriend and I were in the grocery store today,

and we were in the yogurt aisle, and a lady picked out a Greek yogurt, put it in her cart, and then her husband or boyfriend or whatever turned to her and said, Oh, you just got that one because that's the one that John Stamos is on the commercial. That's true. Why else would you buy Oikos yogurt?

That's right. Is that what it's called, Oikos? Why else would you choose one of the three brands of yogurt that are available? There's not that many yogurts. Well, it's a yogurt aisle, so there's a lot of yogurts in there. There's Greek yogurt. There's Japanese yogurt. There's Israeli yogurt.

Usually, they have it. That probably is Israeli yogurt, right? A lot of different yogurts. Yeah, you don't mess with the Zoh Japanese yogurt. There's Israeli yogurt. Usually it's... Probably it's Israeli yogurt. There'd be a lot of different yogurts. Yeah, you don't mess with the Zohan yogurt. It's only Israeli. I also want to call issue that she assumed it was either her boyfriend or her husband. It could have been her brother. She was married to...

Was he wearing a weird suede jacket? Because that's what all incestuous married brothers have to wear. A suede jacket and a wedding's what all incestuous married brothers have to wear. A suede jacket and a wedding band? That's a brother. And it has embroidered on the shoulder someone with their finger over their mouth going, shh.

Someone burying a family tree. I didn't know that there was... Does John Stamos endorse a yogurt? During the Super Bowl, there was Oiko's yogurt. The yogurt that you've never heard of before. Yeah, but they sell it.

I can... I see it in my store. It's one of the craziest moments in... Like that song, Oiko, Oiko. From Rain Man? From Rain Man. From Rain Man. Everybody loves Rain Man.

Was that ever... Probably, I'm mad too. From Rain Man. From Rain Man. Everybody loves Rain Man. Was that ever? Probably, I'm mad too. Yeah, those were two different time periods that never would overlap. Oikos Yogurt. John Stamos went on The View as a guest to promote his ad for Oikos Yogurt that was going to be in the super bowl so watching an interview about an ad that had not aired yet for a product that had no affiliation with the show that he was on it was really weird he was on promoting an ad that he was doing the view is good you're right uh i once saw mario canton on there singing a song to a swiffer. No, he didn't. Yeah, absolutely he didn't.

Mary Katone is Sex and the City? Yeah, he's one of the gays from Sex and the City. And what did he sing to the Swiffer? Take me into the moon. Let's whip up all those stars. Pretty sure there's a shiny marble underneath. If people would just clean up once in a while. I've lost the tune of the original song completely.

And also the logic of the swiffer. It doesn't pick up marble. No, no. It picks up all the dust, and if they picked up all the dust on the moon, it would look like a clean marble. Oh, right. If you listen back to my lyrics, they'll be pretty flawless. You're not wrong.

So John Stamos, the only Greek celebrity? Was he really singing to a Swiffer? Yeah, he was. Was it a challenge? Like the view challenge? No, do the dumbest thing you can think of right now. For $50,000. Yeah, exactly.

First you have to go to one of those money tanks where you grab as much money as you can. You grab any cleaning products you can. You just sing to them in under a minute. Oh no, I got a Mr. Clean sponge. I've got a... So yeah, no, it was great.

The View is a great show. My head is going to kick me. I'm laughing too hard. The View is a great show. My head is going to keep going. Okay, go ahead. The View is great. Yeah, well, who else would you get? He's the most famous. Hugh Jackman, maybe?

Is he a Greek? Oh, no, no, but he's a yogurt. He is a kind of yogurt. Are there any, yeah, Richard Grieco? Yeah. No, but he sells his yeah, Richard Grieco? Yeah, Richard, yeah, ew. No, but he sells his own cereal, Grieco's. That lady, this sounds like the worst. You pour yogurt on them instead of milk.

You pour feta on them. That lady from my big fat yogurt wedding. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nia Vardalos. There you go. Or any of her co-stars. Andrea Martin. Joey Fatone. Josh Corbett

final? yeah sure hey stop podcasting yourself big fan etc etc I was just using a public restroom and I walked in and there's a little kid using one of the urinals probably five and I go to use the other urinal and he finishes up before me and then

fits up and do whatever doing and then uh he yells boy scouts rule and then darts out of the restroom that's a kid who really knows what he likes yeah Boy Scouts. But is there a certain way that Boy Scouts pee? Is that a thing? They pee prepared. Yeah, they pee prepared. Oh, wow. You're not going to top that. Nope.

You could spend a whole lifetime trying to top pee prepared. Who would really want to top that? Top that. Wow. You know what? I'm still like little kids that just do the... I still kind of feel like I want to do that sometimes where you just drop your pants right down onto your ankles.

Yeah. I think that's still a really funny thing to do. As an adult. Yeah, yeah, yeah. As kids, it's necessary. Oh, I was a big fan of that as a child. Yeah. And...

What would you do if somebody did that right next to you? Would you assume that you're on a prank? Pants and underwear all the way down So it's just like bare butt Would you assume you're on a prank show? What if they took a couple steps back as well? Oh yeah To see how far it goes

I'm not saying take 8 or 9 steps back Just a couple And just move their hips back and forth. If they keep moving backwards and go, Whoa! Call Guinness! And you're like, Oh, God! I'm gonna beat you!

And you pull your pants all the way down and you can do the same. Yeah, that's how it starts. That's how trends start. Before Twitter, that's how a trend would start. I'm gonna beat you. And you pull your pants down even further. You think that's the record he's going back to? And you pee into the same urinal.

Yeah. Farthest pants pulling down. Yeah, exactly. I'm standing on my pants. I can't get any farther down. And then somebody starts digging a ditch in the bathroom. Yeah, broke a bunch of the tiles and starts digging a ditch. Oh, God.

So great. We love fun. Yeah, fun's fun. Now, speaking of fun, Kevin. Yeah. Time to wrap up the show. Yeah, exactly.

Fun time. Fun's been fun. Yeah. But let's go on. Now, Kevin, where can people, if they want to find you, they want to see you online,

they go to stockimages.org. Type in pizza. Search pizza blast handsome ugly regret. And that's where it comes up. Pizza blast. That's a good name for a restaurant. Wait, but really, if people want to find you online, you've got a bunch of different things that you do.

Yeah, so you could go to thesundayservice.ca That's your improv groupids. That's my improv grips. But it's a little bit out of date on the best website. You can find us on Facebook. Find The Sunday Service.

And you guys do a show every week. Every week, every Sunday night at 9 o'clock at the Cosmic Zoo. Which is called that because it has the words The Hennessy Lounge on the outside. It still says The Hennessy Lounge on the biggest signs outside. So either look for The Hennessy Dining Lounge on 53 West Broadway.

Or Bress Rodway. Now, how long is... We did the 50th anniversary? Yeah. And you guys, that show, it's unbeatable. It's the... Say the best improv show. Oh, I thought you meant our live episode.

That was really fun. That's unbeatable. And thank you again for doing that. Oh, goodness. Thank you. Thanks for having us. But seriously, if you're in town or visiting in town, every Sunday, the Sunday service. That's as good a show as you're going to see in this city.

You're damn straight. And it's still... it is a good show. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, exactly. It's not as good as you're going to get. Yeah. I mean, you probably should just go see a movie, though.

The games are hungry. Yeah, them hungry games. I hate you want to have something to talk to your nine-year-old daughter about. It's not going to be a bunch of skinny white brown haired guys And one girl talking Is it nine year olds who are into the Hunger Games? And Taz Marker of Taz Van Ressel

He's a 32 year old man Now also you're on Twitter Oh yeah that's right I am on Twitter aren't I? I never tweet You're funny on Twitter. Oh, yeah, that's right. I am on Twitter, aren't I? I never tweet. Oh, no, you're funny on Twitter. Oh, thank you.

If you want to follow someone and forget that you followed them. I think it's TheRealKevinLee. Oh, I don't like this. This defeatist Kevin Lee attitude. I really don't tweet, almost never. Where can people send you a personal email just to say, hey, Kevin, you're great? Where can people send you a personal email just to say, hey, Kevin, you're great? Send an email to Kevin at

Pizza Blast Handsome Ugly Hungry Regret.com It's got hungry in there. I had to remind you how much you love pizza. Dave, anything coming up? Upcoming?

I'm probably going to get that thing reattached to my back What was it called? Monstro? Quado I haven't even seen the movie, I know it's called a Quado Here's what's up Thanks to all of you for donating to the MaxFunDrive

You are the wind beneath our wangs Feathered pubes. I meant it in like, ain't no thang like a chicken wang. Like a chicken wang. There ain't no thang like a chicken wang. Boy Scouts rule! I think that's all that's going on with me this week.

Yeah, just keep your head in the clouds, keep your feet on the ground, keep your eyes in the stars, keep your reaching for the stars, feet firmly on the ground, keep your pants around your ankles, dig a hole for your pants, reach for the sky,

grab some air, grab some sky slime balls. Yeah. Give me all your money. Give me 10. I'm going to smell it. Maple bacon. And myself.

Not that anybody asked. Oh, hey, Graham. What's going on? On May 17th, last week, I talked about that there was something that was upcoming. May 17th is the date that's been announced. I am going to tape a comedy special. Yes. It's a direct, it's going to be available online, and I'm recording it at the Waldorf

here in Vancouver on Thursday, May 17th. And there will be tickets available. If you're interested in tickets, you can write to me at stockpodcastyourself at gmail.com because that's the only email address that I can think of to give out. But yes, there's a limited number of people

are going to be able to be in there. It's not that huge of a venue, but it'll be great. So May 17th, you're filming a special for the internet. For the internet. In the future, will people be able

to get it on the internet? They will. It'll be, it's like, it's supposed to be, it's in conjunction with a local internet company. It's going to be on IMAX.

It's going to be on IMAX. You're going to be able to find it on pizzahungry.handsomeugly.regret.com. And there's going to be a five minute teaser before the Dark Knight Rises. Five minutes of a five minute teaser before the Dark Knight Rises. Five minutes of you talking about

how dumb the Dark Knight Rises looks. Football? Yeah, why? To Gotham, please. Football. They're like a high-light city. I actually haven't seen the trailer. I don't know if it looks dumb. I'm sure it looks great. No, it does look pretty great.

Yeah, I mean, it's going to be the greatest. But that comedy special sounds fantastic. I'm sure it looks great. No, it does look pretty great. Yeah, I mean, it's going to be the greatest. But that comedy special sounds fantastic. I will be there. Kevin Lee will be there. I'll be there in person. Do you want to come and hang out with Kevin Lee? May 17th. I'll be opening, i.e. sitting in the front row and talking during opening act.

Yeah. Bursting through walls all night long. Can we get a photo taken? It will be a stock photo, though, so you won't own the rights to it. The Kevin Lee Burst Through the Wall Pizza Photo Challenge, brought to you by Doritos. No, but that comedy special sounds great. It'll be a lot of fun. Sounds real special.

It'll be real special. So, yeah. Stop by, guys, yourself at gmail.com is where you can get in touch with us, or you can call us at 206-339-8328. Like Dave said, thanks for donating. And also, pants to the ground, pants to the sky.

We'll talk to you real soon. Till you die. We'll see you next week. Let's not podcast yourself. Oh yeah, you're right. Till you die. Thank you.