Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 220 - Brent Butt

Episode Date: June 5, 2012

Brent Butt returns to talk tropes, sneezing, pink shirts, and Bigfoot.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 220 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and if you're interested in downloading a comedy special I recorded, you can go to thestandupcomedians.com and that's where you can download that five bucks. What a deal.

And with me as always is a man who dresses for the job that he wants Mr. Dave Shumka Yeah, today I'm, uh, I don't know Saloon girl? Yeah Fireman You told me you were going to plug that off the top I didn't think it was off the very top I told you right out, guns blazing

Well, let me be the first to say I was there at the night of the taping. Yes, you were. And I want to download it. Remind me where I go again? TheStandUpComedians.com TheStandUpComedians.com And what's it going to cost me? Five bucks. Five Earth dollars? Yeah, I think it's worth $5.75

but I'm willing to meet you part way and take it down a whole 75 cents. Yeah. Give it to people for five bucks. I'm telling you, it's worth 1.5 times that. And our guest today, returning guest and just one of my all-around favorite comedians. He's the creator behind Corner Gas, Hiccups.

True. and he's back again, Mr. Brent Butt. Hello, everybody. Hello, and welcome back. By everybody, I don't just mean... It seems weird to be in a room with two people and say, hello, everybody. But I know how this works. There's other people. Right? Show business.

Enjoying the show. How do you think that somebody who's just in a booth by themselves feel when they're addressing everybody? They don't even have, maybe they have a mirror that they pull out. I did a hosting workshop at CBC. They taught me how to host and the main key that they

kept stressing is to say you. Talk to the person like you're talking to one individual. Like it's one-on-one? Yeah, like, hey buddy, how would you feel? Put your pants on. Like it's one-on-one? Yeah, like... Hey, buddy. How would you feel? Put your pants on. Would it kill you to put on a pair of trousers before you... Yeah, it's important to picture one specific person in their underwear.

Oh, let's get to know us. Get to know us. That's the thing. That's like an old trope. The picture everybody in their underwear. That's going to make you relax on stage. Have either of you ever done it? Has that ever...

I've never used the word trope. So that's something I'm looking forward to tomorrow. I'm going to try and weasel that into a conversation. That's all I was trying to do today. Yeah, I've never... I've never... How do you picture somebody doing something that they're not doing?

Do you know what I mean? In cartoons and stuff, the visual just happens. Or 80s sitcoms. Yeah. They do that a lot in 80s sitcoms. I could maybe picture everyone in their underwear if they were already just in their bathing suits.

Even then, I think that would be a stretch, because I'd still be like, I don't know what color... My imagination isn't maybe as... Could you just picture somebody in their underwear? Even if you were able to do this, which I'm with you.

I don't know how you would go about picturing a room full of people in their underpants. would that then somehow calm you i don't understand the like the notion is yeah well if you're nervous talking to a bunch of people who are dressed normally yeah uh you won't be nervous if if there's a chance that it's going to turn into a greasy orgy yeah you know they'll forget about you in no time. What would calm me down is if you were all nude. Then I could really relax. Studies show that an orgy is the most relaxing place on earth.

How is that supposed to even relax? I'm nervous if I see a guy in a tank top in the mall or something. Oh, this guy looks like he's trouble. Never mind like a 200-pound lady in her bra and giant panties, you know? But you have to be able to trick yourself. You have to be able to... It's sort of like... Have either of you ever tried counting sheep to fall asleep?

Or is that just something from cartoons as well? I have tried. Yeah, I have as well. It doesn't do anything. Because then you just start thinking about that cartoon where it happened, and then you're like, I'd really like to watch that cartoon right now. I wonder if it's on YouTube. And you're up until 7 a.m.

It doesn't work at all. What has worked for me, and I rarely have any kind of insomnia, because I feel truly blessed that I'm a terrific sleeper. Like, I can really go, all right, time to shut her down. Zonko, deep, deep snooze for eight hours. Poing, eyes pop open, and I'm ready to go. It's a point of deep resentment that my wife has for me. I bet.

Because she doesn't sleep well. And I'll often, she'll coerce me into coming to bed early because I'm not sleepy. She's like, why don't you come to bed? All right, I'll come to bed now. But I'm not tired. I'm just going to, and I'm out. And she just lays there and stares at me with hatred.

I was at a hotel this week, and we were discussing. We were both in Saskatoon at the same time. We were. That's showbiz. Right? When that happens. That's like an old vaudeville story. It's a trope.

Is it a trope? It's an old showbiz trope. Because you would be in the audience, and I'd be like, I don't know. I think Rem Bud is in the audience tonight. In his underwear. Because you would be in the audience and be like, I don't know. I think Rem Bud is in the audience tonight. In his underwear. But there was a very fancy alarm clock that you could plug your iPod into. And it also had sleep sounds.

And you pressed it and it went through like, there was like a forest. The sound of a guy sleeping. And one of them was... In case you're lonely. I miss my giant dude who lays beside me. I miss the snoring and the slobbering. Yeah, and you type in your name so that at one point you go

But it would be like that bad voice recognition kind of thing. But one of the settings that I put it on, because I was like, oh, I'm going to have a nap before the show, was like a seaside town. And within like two minutes, I was just picturing the whole movie Jaws. I just started thinking about Jaws and then I couldn't sleep at all.

I'm being bitten in half. No spoilers. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. I was picturing myself in a bikini at midnight swimming by myself. Oh no, she goes skinny dipping, doesn't she? At the very first. I haven't seen Jaws.

No, that's not true. I've seen Piranha 3D. You've never seen Jaws? I've never seen Jaws. I understand. It's great. It is quite good because it's a real good example of what a good storyteller, like what a good director can do from it

because there's not much in the way of budget and it's kind of cheese ball-y in terms of the story. And you don't really see the shark as far as I've been told. And when you do it's pretty you know it's something you'd make in your backyard. It's like something like your nephew

if your nephew had a haunted house to raise funds for the school project. It's that quality of shark. Rubbery and bouncy. So it really does show what a kick-ass filmmaker can do. Because it's a scary, tense, really good performance. Do you think it would still be scary if I watched it now on a television? I just saw it on TV the other night.

And, you know, I wouldn't say that it's scary, but it's very intense. It's very tense. And even though I know how it all turns out, I'm still like, oh, no, they're in it now. And it's the old, you know, what's the word? Trope. The old movie trope. You're picturing the shark in his underwear. Yeah, it's not the shark, really,

that's the scary thing. It's that these three guys are on a boat and you're like, the one guy is clearly crazy. And you're like, he's gonna do something crazy at some point. Always thinks they need a bigger boat. But I watched a making of Jaws, and they in the documentary they said

like it was supposed to be a lot more shark centric it was supposed to be kind of like a monster movie and the shark didn't work they made it in fresh water and they put it out in the salt water and it seized up and rusted and so that's why they came up with the point of view shot and why there wasn't very much shark in it, because the shark that they had didn't work at all. So that's why they rewrote it on the fly so that it could be more of a suspenseful... And it's no doubt that it's much better that way, because the shark itself is pretty Muppet showish, right? It would have really taken away

from the... Like he was Bitey the Muppet show-ish, right? It would have really taken away from the... Yeah. Like he was Bitey, the Muppet. Hey, Bitey! Do they let you do that with movies anymore? Like if, oh, something doesn't work, oh, we'll just rewrite it on the fly. Or is it so micromanaged now? But you have to.

Like what's your... If you're $5 million into a movie and suddenly something isn't working, what do you do? Just walk away? You have to think on your feet you have to adapt and overcome like a marine yeah so so yeah that's what that's when the good producers that's what separates the uh the really good producers and the really good directors and filmmakers from the people who are jerking around at it from the people who say they can make movies is that ability to i you know i bet if you scaled through the lore of fantastic hollywood movies a lot of them were there was a big problem solving along the way

yeah skilled problem solvers that's what a good producer is well and that's the whole uh uh this is what they said in the documentary anyways uh that jaws was the first blockbuster because the producers thought that it was like they had gone so over budget that the only way to make back their money was we'll open everywhere that first weekend and we'll make back our money because we're not sure this is good at all right right uh because they were like you know the longer it went on they were like yeah The longer it went on, they were like, yeah, good. There's barely any shark in this

shark film. It's interesting, too, that they can't tell by looking at it. That they're watching the movie going, I don't know if this is any good. Because partly you're too close to it. You don't know. Especially a suspense movie. Are people in suspense?

I know I'm not anymore. I like the story of American Graffiti when they made it and showed it to the executives, the studio executives. The studio executives hated it and thought this is garbage. Everybody's going to hate it.

What a waste of money this is. This was terrible. And Francis Ford Coppola was there, and he was the big dude at the time. He was there at the screening, and he said to the executives, so I'll buy this from you right now. How much right now?

And he pulled out his checkbook. Really? And he said, I'll buy this movie from you right now so you don't lose any money. And they were like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Why does he want to? It must not be that. It's, yeah, like you hear all these stories.

Like it was the same with Prince for Coppola and Godfather that they were like, that one of the things, their big objection was, there's nobody will believe Al Pacino as a gangster. They were like, he's too fresh-faced and he's too, because at the beginning of the movie, he's like, just back from the military or the war or whatever. And they're like, just nobody will ever like the rest of his career. He's playing like scumbag after scumbag.

But it's just like that first one. They're like, nope, America is not ready to allow this guy to be a dirtbag. Have you seen what's the Robert Evans movie? A Kid Stays in the Picture? Yeah, that's a good one. That's a great Hollywood story.

Great weirdo, crazy Hollywood story. You realize that nobody knows what the hell they're doing, right? That's the beauty of it. And how could you? That notion, though, and it's the same in television, which has been my background, you get these people who go,

no, this is the way two million people are going to respond emotionally to these things. And you go, really? You really got a handle on that? Because then, weren't you behind like three really crappy TV shows that everybody hated in the last year? But now you're still the guy? And like half the shows that premiere in September are canceled by October. Yeah.

Absolutely. Nobody knows a GD thing. Pardon my French. This is supposed to be a family show. A GD thing. It should just be like a different executive every week. What do you think? It shouldn't even be an executive.

It should be like a prize you win. You get to choose what's going to be a TV show. Oh, like a Willy Wonka. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You open a Snickers and it's got a card inside. You're an executive producer. It should be every employee, like at a network. It rotates kind of, right?

This week, you get to be the guy calling the shots. You get to decide. And you don't get to go nuts. You can't spend every penny we have. You can't put yourself in the movie. But you get to green light a couple of projects that are already on the slate. You can't just call up your cousin

and say, guess what? You're going to have a talk show. Remember that movie we made when we were kids. I would watch... Would you watch a movie that the whole campaign behind it is that this was a movie done 100 by committee like we picked 12 people out of the mall of america or whatever and these 12 people point for point line for line came up with this movie this is probably a jury this is the best idea for

a tv show i've ever heard in my life is if if you did this, you just pick 12 people out of them all, you put them in a room, you give them three days to write the movie, and then one of them has to direct it. Oh, man! And they can cast big stars and everything.

Yeah, yeah, this is going to budget. That would be awesome. You're star of this week, right? Brian Dennehy is going to be in your project, right. That would be awesome. You're starting this week, right? Yeah. Brian Dennehy is going to be in your project, right? That would be awesome. Oh, that would be awesome. We've got to edit this out of the show so nobody pinches this idea. No, no. Keep it in.

It's time stamped. Yeah, exactly. People know we came up with it. Oh, I see where you're thinking. Yeah, yeah. I want in on this. This could be the greatest show how could this miss it seems like what if it's one of those things where it's you just take 12

strangers put them in a room together over a long enough time span they just yeah they come out with the godfather it's like a million monkeys idea yeah yeah how about the show is a million monkeys of a million typewriters and we let them go for a million years at the end it's a long show is a million monkeys and a million typewriters? And we let them go for a million years. At the end, it's a long... This is a long-term sell. But a million years from now, we're going to have something awesome.

Total consciousness. You won't see your money back. This is a real faith. You're doing this for humanity yeah it's uh it's weird that nobody uh super rich and crazy has ever tried to set something like that up it seems like something somebody this is easy to do you don't need this big fat money yeah because what what are you paying the schnooks from the mall oh no i was talking about the monkeys at the typewriter yeah well, the monkeys at the typewriter. You're paying them nothing. Yeah. Well, bananas.

You've got to feed them. Yeah, exactly. Even if it's not a wage, you have to keep them alive. Yeah. The problem is you need a guy to proofread things and see if anything is anything. Oh, that's true, too. Yeah, that's true. Who's that?

Nope, more gibberish today. Just a lot of gibberish. Well, these monkeys aren't learning everything. It's like we have to replace them every 30 years when they die. Thankless job, this is. They're not monkeys who live a million years. So the person who's reading it isn't also a monkey. Just a bunch of letters and feces.

Every day. They go crazy on day one and throw typewriters at each other. A lot of injuries. Most of our staff died on day one. That's every reality show. They set up all the crazy stuff in episode one and then they just ride it for the rest of the season. It's true. They get everybody drunk on

episode one. Those like the bachelorettes and stuff. Get the monkeys drunk. Get them drunk and sign some releases. Sure, you can show me in the tub. You bet. Why wouldn't you? Yeah, show's right. Sure, you can show me in the tub. You bet. Why wouldn't you? Yeah, show me making out with a stranger.

Absolutely. There was one of the Bachelorettes I saw in a commercial. She was doing... Guy tries to make us think he doesn't watch the show. Yeah, I've seen it in commercials. Flip through. Trying to watch the Discovery Channel. She was the one from Vancouver. Okay, yeah.

And she was on some commercial, a local, maybe it was the Home Lottery commercial or something like that. And she introduced herself as interior decorator Jillian whatever. And I was like, but that's not, wait a minute. That's not your thing that you're famous for. Nobody... Even on the show, I don't think that she promoted herself as an interior decorator. She's trying to turn a page.

She's looking out for number one. Yeah. Yeah, I didn't come here to make friends. I'm looking out for number one. Except on The Bachelorette, she came here to make friends. Yeah, she came here to make one. Has any of those... Oh yeah, Trista and Ryan. Looking over number one. Except on The Bachelorette, she came here to make friends. Yeah, she came here to make one. Yeah. Has any of those...

Oh, yeah. Trista and Ryan. Was that the first one? So people get married at the end of the show, right? Sometimes. Somebody. Yeah. Sometimes?

Like, sometimes they don't? Sometimes they... Like, the couple ends up together, but they don't get married. They end up together, and then they break up immediately. They date for a bit. Yeah, something. I guess the show wouldn't be that dramatic. Some of them have gotten married and one couple has stayed married, I think.

It's funny because the dates that they go on on the show are like, we're whisking you away into Bora Bora. Yeah. And then after the show, like, where... How do you keep up the momentum? Yeah, exactly. We're going to Tony Roma's... You set the bar too high. Listen, I can't afford to be winging the missus

to tropical destinations every couple of weeks, you guys. Do we go to the West Edmonton Mall the first day? Even that would be big. If you lived in edmonton what and what when do you blow the water on the west edmonton every first date in edmonton is at the west edmonton mall i guess hey you got a lot of options it's true um go to the food court you can both eat at different places that's right together i'm kind of more like a sparrow person Which is more of a tie away home And then just meet you later Meet you down at the pirate ship

Yeah It's amazing how many Episodes of our show End up centered on the West Edmonton wall Wow it's a marvel of humanity And engineering Yeah when you live in a country That has something like that to offer the world

You want to make sure you promote it. I'm sure. It's like the hanging tower of Babel. Was that a thing? Yep. Was that a thing? The gardens. The hanging gardens.

Yes. It was the tower of Babel. Right. The tower doesn't hang. The hanging tower. Bad enough that one of them leans. The hanging tower. At West Edmonton Mall, anything's possible.

Our tower hangs. Or it's like a horrible thing where they hang people from a tower. The Hanging Tower. Come watch us execute some possible criminals. Possible criminals. We're pretty sure these guys have done some horrible things. Look at this guy. Look at him.

That dirtbag. You've been to West Edmonton Mall, right? I have. Did you ever, were you ever there playing? Was I there professionally? Yeah, because there's a comedy club in the mall. Yeah, when I, I'm old school. I was there pre-comedy club.

Whoa. In the mall. There was no comedy club when I was last at the Edmonton Mall. Was there a roller coaster still? I was there playing a comedy club that was downtown, you know. The way it was in the old days. Yeah, yeah. It used to be a comedy club in the city, proper. And you'd have to be shuttled out to the mall.

For your leisure time. For your leisure, for your daytime. To write some groovy new bits for that night. Work out some stuff about it. Did you see the sweatpants that are on sale at the mall? But now, now it's all changed. It's all on its ear. Now the mall is home to the comedy club now.

And yeah, when I played there, I stayed. I stayed there. Oh, did you stay in the Fantasyland Hotel? I mean, I stayed a couple blocks away from the hotel in a motel. Is the Fantasyland... Where the fantasy is like, what would it be like to be on the road prostitute? Is it called the Fantasyland Hotel? Yeah, yeah.

And it's got the ancient Greek room and the Tower of Babel room. Yeah, absolutely. The hanging Tower of Babel. And then... I'm a bit of a history buff. I don't know if you know that about me. Yeah, I did know that about you. You're always the Spartan this and Phoenician that.

It's really my one reference. Spartan this and Spartan that. Oh, we've all seen 300, right? I have not. I have not, but I know what it is. Oh, okay. I get the whiff of it. It's about the Spartans and a guy gets kicked down a well.

Yeah, yeah, that's the essence of the film. He gets trapped down the well. They need 300 guys to get him up. All the Spartans band together to dig out the guy that they kicked down the well. That's the rest of the movie. The whole rescue op. Yeah, and then a bunch of Spartans get together and record an album to cheer the guy up. It's a funny, it's, I don't know why I just thought, but like watching it, they did a lot of, the guy who wrote it, Frank Miller, did a lot of like historical research.

And it was fairly accurate, except that all the guys are just, they're fighting in Speedos. and it was fairly accurate, except that all the guys are just, they're fighting in Speedos, which I'm like, I'm sure even in the most first days of fighting, somebody would have thought like, more than just. Well, when you're writing a graphic novel, it helps to picture everyone in their underwear. I get the vibe that Frank Miller is eyeballing a lot of people as though they're in their underwear. Like when you see him, he looks like he's a guy who doesn't have the best of intentions, morally.

But he could go home and draw it, too. Historically. Oh, dream. See, I've heard the opposite, that it's historically not that accurate. Like a good buddy of mine is a history major. So they wore armor everywhere but their speedo era. Just the notion of what really happened at this battle where

300 Spartans held off I don't know what the number is. 80 million? Yeah, it was the whole Persian army. Or Persian army. Because really what it was, he was saying historically he studies battles historically. And he said, you know, really what they did is it was strategic genius.

They found a narrow spot so they could only fight so many guys at a time. And he said if the movie was accurate, it would have just been guys with spears jabbing between two rocks. It would make for very terrible filmmaking, really. The opposite of Jaws that we were talking about earlier. This is really terrible movie making the rocks aren't working over and over the rocks don't work in salt water yeah that's that's actually what happened they had to uh change on the fly yeah exactly uh yeah all the costumes rusted and they were like guys just go in your skis. Who's got the swimsuit?

So, yeah, no, I didn't. Anyways, go to your local library. To learn more about Sparta. Yeah, exactly. Libraries were a thing in the past where it was a building that you went to. They have one in West Edmonton Mall. It's been decommissioned. They still have libraries.

That's where people go to rent videos and use the internet. Yeah, that's right. People sometimes use the bathroom there. If you're in a pinch. Show me your reel-to-reel wing. Do they still do you think they still have microfiche? They probably do. Probably, yeah. You can't it's tiny.

It's micro. Yeah, it doesn't take up that much room. It's not taking a lot of real estate. Dave, what's going on with you? Not a lot is going on with me. But here's the thing. I sort of... I come on the show a lot.

And I say... I talk about a movie or a TV show in a negative way. Sure. I have kind of a negative attitude towards a lot of things. A real grumpus. Yeah. Remember when I was very critical of the sun? Do you mean the sun?

In the sky. In the sky, yes. Yeah, I got a bone to pick with that guy. The anchor of Earth. Yeah, yeah. No time for that guy. I found something I love. and i've always loved this i love sneezing and sometimes what i love the feeling you get when you sneeze and sometimes like i'll see somebody

and they'll sneeze like six times in a row and i'll be so jealous and i'll say oh man i wish i could i could like sneeze a bunch all at once. And they're like, it's miserable. It even looks horrible when they're doing it. They seem like they're exhausted by their own sneezing. It's very seizure-like. Yeah, the other day...

You don't know when to say bless you? I had one of those fits. I'd never had it before. One of your son-hating fits? Call them fits. A fit where I was sneezing a bunch of times. I'd never done it before. Sneezed so many times in a row.

And let me tell you, it was the greatest. Oh, see? We're on different sides of the coin on this. This is going to be a real point-counterpoint here. Every sneeze was better than the previous? Because I've had sneezing attacks my whole life, and they're the worst. I'm so jealous. But maybe you have, maybe like, you know, there's like this 70s porn movie called Deep Throat.

Okay. And the lady, the whole premise of the film is that her G-spot is at the back of her throat so she gives blowjobs to everybody that's the premise of Deep Throat this is a very adult episode but maybe you've got some weird genetic hiccup where sneezing is like

also hiccups hiccups are great for me I don't have a frame of reference because I've never sneezed in my life. That is not... I've seen people do it. You've been jealous? Are there people who...

I'm curious more than anything. I wonder what that's like. Oh, it feels so great. I've never sneezed and I've never eaten soup. That's not true. That's not true. That's impossible. No, I've done both.

You've been in so many towns that are famous for chowders. Well, I didn't realize chowder and soup were in the same... They're cousins. They're kissing cousins. You know how freaked out people get if you haven't seen a movie? Like when I was surprised you hadn't seen Jaws? Yeah. I reined myself in from being freaked out by it, though, because that bothers me when people do that to me.

But you've never seen human centipede no i've never felt oh i've seen it twice but hardly can't but i've never seen it so as freaked out as people get when you haven't seen a famous movie imagine if you've never sneezed i know people who would buy that. You don't know anybody who's that gullible? Yeah, I do. There was a comic years ago that when I was 24, I convinced her that I was 47 and that I had been doing this a long time. And she believed it for, let let's say four to six months then so much so that she spread it

around so that it came back to me 47 47 mother's alarm graham are you 47 we're on the street yeah fantastic i've heard from a lot of people that you're 40 you look like 42, man. That's how it comes back to you. I had a guy one time, like off the cuff, this guy, I didn't intend to snow this guy or anything. He had just said to me, like in the early days of UFC. Right. He had seen the videotapes, I guess, of UFC 1 or 2 or whatever like that. And then he came up to me. This was a comic. I don't know if he's still doing comedy or not.

Should I say his name? Sure. Dave Evil was his name. Remember Dave Evil? I only know him by stories. By the name Dave Evil. Yeah, no doubt. So he comes up to me at a club one time,

and he goes, hey, have you seen any of that UFC stuff? I go, yeah, I've seen it. He goes, he said, I hear you're really good at fighting. You should go into the UFC. And so I say, without even thinking, I go, oh, I have been in it.

And he goes, you have? How did it go? And I go, well, I won the first match that I was in because he was kind of just a bar thug, right? Uh-huh, uh-huh. And I said, and then I lost the second match because it was against a guy i really knew what he was doing and he like put a choke hold on me right strangled me up but still he said that's pretty awesome and then i said then i i said i've never never the ufc and then he steamed it. He's mad that I

had the audacity to say something that you wouldn't think anybody would believe in a million years. I even said to him that night, it's like I said to you, you know, I've been to the sun. And you went, you have? And then I go, no, I haven't been to the sun. How dare you?

You're mad at me that I made you believe I've been to the sun. But now, back in thec days to which you refer back in your ufc back in my early ufc this would be great if this snowballed somehow if you could do some creative editing and started that i was a ufc fan it would be actually be horrible people would be challenging me after shows. But it used to be, it was just a person. It wasn't, like now it's two people that they train all the time. And they actually, there's like a commonality between what they're doing. There's an actual like MMA fighting style.

Where back in the day it was a guy who was a truck stop guy versus a samurai. I don't know that it was ever a truck stop guy. But it was a samurai. But it was a different fighting style. And the original notion was karate versus jiu-jitsu, who would win? Boxing versus Spartan with a spear. Exactly. 300 Spartans versus a truck driver.

So it was never just, you know, like a local bar thug, but it was all guys who had trained at, you know, Kenpo Karate and, you know. But weren't there just like guys who, in the very outset of it, maybe not UFC proper. Yeah, no, you're right. There were a couple of guys. There was like Tank Abbott was a guy.

Yeah, Tank Abbott. He was like a big bar thug, really. Yeah. Who was quite a tough guy. And just like a guy who liked fighting. What era is the early days of UFC? Early 90s.

I remember an episode of Friends where Monica is dating a guy who wants to be a UFC fighter. Oh, that's right. It's pretty much my only... John Favreau. Yeah, it's John Favreau. And it's pretty much my only UFC knowledge Favreau. Yeah, it's Jon Favreau. And it's pretty much my only UFC knowledge.

And it is like the most tangential. I love UFC to me. Feminine. It's like a dream come true in a way, kind of. To see these really high level hand-to-hand combatants. This style has evolved over the years where you have a mixed martial arts, you know, you have to be an MMA fighter now

to really, to win it. Because it was always like grapplers would have the advantage over strikers for a while and then the strikers would learn how to not get taken down and then they would have the advantage. They were knocking out the wrestlers and it evolved into this kind of thing where you kind of have, they're like,

I've said this on my stand-up act, it's like the closest you're going to get to seeing Spider-Man fight Doctor Octopus. Because these guys can do things you just can't imagine doing, you know? The only thing that's missing for me from UFC is definitive characters. I want to see more. More speeches. I want to see at least some walking to the ring costume and or some sort of theme. You want someone to throw out poems

on frisbees. Well, Mayhem Miller did that. He was famous for that. But he wasn't that good a fighter ultimately. So he had a hell of an entrance to the ring and then he'd get tooled. Tuned by some guy.

I feel like that's... Because boxing used to be... People would walk to the ring, and then it got slowly showier. I'm not for that. I'm big for it. I'm not for it. Well, let's settle it in the octagon. The showier you are, the less I'm pulling for you.

Oh, really? Well, I don't think that I'm pulling for somebody who's showier. I'm kind of almost pulling for them to get knocked out really fast. But you enjoy the pomp. Yeah, yeah. Wasn't there a couple weeks ago there was a boxing match where Justin Bieber was in someone's entourage as they went to the ring. Floyd Mayweather

or his combatant. He was in Floyd Mayweather's corner. That's who you want to have your back in a scrap. Or a 16 year old kid from Sarnia, Ontario or wherever the hell he's from. I like how Justin Bieber talks like he's

a thug. Like he's a street thug. He hangs around enough people, I think, that let him talk like that. Who's going to call him on it now? Yeah, exactly. I think if you were in Justin Bieber's entourage, there must be someone in his entourage whose job it is to challenge him to fight and lose but he just roughed up that paparazzi guy right uh that's what i hear yeah i mean but uh that was probably a pr stunt and also he he uh he's very attractive i've said for

a long time and i think i've said it on this podcast, which may not be true anymore, but for a couple of years I was saying that even though Justin Bieber is much more successful than me and everything, I'm still, I guarantee I'm better at sex than Justin Bieber. And I threw that down as a gauntlet. But I think maybe it's changed. He's probably been with a lot of ladies at this point. The only way to settle this is for you and him to go at it. And Yacht to go.

Right. Who satisfies the other? Oh, that's right. Who leaves the most satisfied? Tap out everybody wants to see. I guess, actually, whoever left the most satisfied would lose, right? Yeah, exactly. Because the other one, yeah.

So it would be strategic that you'd have to pretend that wasn't good at all. We'll have a sidebar and hammer out the rules. Stay tuned for this. Graham Clark versus Justin Bieber in a sex match. Mixed sexual arts.

Any holds barred? No holds barred. Sexual arts. The marital arts. Mixed marital arts.. The marital arts. Mixed marital arts. Mixed marital arts. Damn it, I want to see this. That's all I can think about.

So we've got to do the reality show about the people making the movie. Yeah, mall movie. Mall movie. Right? Just call it that. Mall movie. Mall movie. Is the monkey show happening?

The Million Year Monkey Show? That's where we're going to funnel most of our money from Maul movie into. And we've got to get the mixed marital arts. Mixed marital arts. Different styles. What's better? Missionary or some hellacious thing you've never dreamed of? Something you had in a horrible nightmare in high school fever dream

okay oh that's what they call him beaver the fever dream that's his nickname justin the fever dream be the fever beaver what would your nickname be in this sex match graham clark hits the mark graham hits the mark clark hits the mark Clark. Hits the mark Clark. You don't even want to know what mine would be. I got the type of name that doesn't even need a nickname. Yes. Yeah. When did you become involved in this?

I didn't know you were going to be in the race. He's like Dana White. I'm taking on the winner. Then what's the point of winning? The point of winning should be that you don't have to do it anymore. I think, again, we're on different sides of this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, yeah.

I chose this lifestyle. Yeah. You like sex. I like sneezing. Yeah, exactly. I like sex as a public spectacle. And no less. Graham, what's going on with you?

Well, I joined this crazy league. It was crazy. I didn't even know it existed, but all of a sudden, I'm one of the top guys in it. Wouldn't that be a nightmare to find out you're the best? Everybody's coming for your title.

Literally. Yeah, exactly. I regretted saying it. Well, it's fun. Fun is fun. What is going on? I went to, like I said, I was in Saskatoon. And a couple, we were in Toronto in March, right?

Yeah, the first week of March. And my whole thing, as soon as we landed in Toronto, I was like, I'm going to go find a touristy t-shirt and wear it during the live podcast. So I found like a pink t-shirt that said I Heart Toronto on it. That is now part of your wardrobe. Now it's part of my actual wardrobe. Gag shirt slowly morphs into actual wardrobe. And so I was in saskatoon doing the debaters and i had a couple hours to kill so i was like i'm gonna go find another like souvenir

shirt i was gonna see if i could find a pink one that said i heart saskatoon on it uh not as easy to find but i went to one of those places that makes a t-shirt for you and uh and i picked the design and i was like i'm gonna get in the same pink color that i got the toronto one in so now i've started some sort of weird collection yeah um of canadian cities of canadian cities on but like on pink shirts and when i ordered the shirt uh i said oh i want this color and the guy said uh well what size is she like he automatically assumed this was a gift for somebody so then instead of saying it's for me do you have something that i would fit into i had to pretend that i had a girlfriend that was the same size as me he said what size is she and i said about the same and i could almost hear the girl working the cashier like, ooh.

Hell of a personality. And she was probably thinking, she could do better. And then the guy said, well, what pink do you want? And I said, that one. And he said, oh, the ballerina is the name of the color. That's the color. What are the other options? I don't know.

Bubblegum? Yeah. is the name of the color that's the color what are the other options i don't know there was like a yeah uh yeah like a hot like a neon pink uh but yeah ballerina was the one that i picked and then i had to when i went back because they had to print the thing on the shirt i had to keep up the ruse with the cashier she said when the cashier gave the thing to me, she said, make sure that she hangs it to dry. And in my head, I literally said, what the fuck are you talking about? Who? Who does? And then I remembered I had started this whole ruse for really no reason. Well, he started it.

He started it and I went along with it. Yeah. What a tangled web. He started it. He started it and I went along with it. What a tangled web. I've heard that a pink shirt is like the best thing to wear if you're hungover because you don't have color in your face and it sort of reflects color up into your face. I believe it.

For a white person. Yeah. Oh, sure. Absolutely. But you know what? Pink's flattering on people of every race. Oh, probably. Yeah. But I don't know if hangover is...

Look, I don't know. Yeah, it's weird. Yeah, speaking of tangled webs. Yeah. Along with sneezing, I've never touched alcohol in my life. Yeah, I don't believe... Well, wait. You must have had to have transported it for somebody.

One of these is going to... Do you just have it injected? One of these things is going to get traction. It's unfortunate that it's going to be the Mixed Marital Arts League. He was champion of the Mixed Marital Arts League. Family comedian. Brent Butt. Has a dark side.

Oh, Lordy. Well, let's take a quick break before Overherds. Oh, Lordy. Well, let's take a quick break before overheards. Graham, this week the show is brought to you by Comedy Bang Bang, which starts this Friday on IFC at 10 o'clock, 9 o'clock central. Dave, this week Scott Aukerman welcomes guest Zach Galifianakis, who discusses if dogs could talk, which sounds great. That is IFC, this Friday, 10 o'clock. It's Comedy Bang Bang. Now, let's do some Overheard.

Overheard. Overheard's a segment in which you, as an individual out on the street, out in the world, might hear things with your ears, see things with your eyes. Okay, and before you do Overheard's, it's time for my favorite segment on the show, a segment called Celebrity Birthdays. Now, we are recording this on Thursday, March, May 31st,

the Ides of May. Yeah, beware them all. That can't be right. You were wrong in a month and the Ides. I got the wrong Ides this year. So, big happy... Dave, shut up!

Before you do that, and I know some people have voted for me not to say shut up to you. But more people have voted for you to say it. More people have said, always say shut up. So, I'm going with the majority. It's time for my favorite segment, which is called Hulk Hogan News. Okay. A weekly segment. A weekly segment in which I call the internet and I look for the greatest stories involving wrestling legend Hulk Hogan.

A man who generates 52 stories a year. Yeah, sometimes I have more and I have to pick what's the story. Like this week, I decided this was more historical Hulk Hogan. This was more historical Hulk Hogan, and I thought it would be interest to all the Hulkamaniacs out there. Or Pasta Maniacs, as they're known in the States. Score TV, which is a Canadian sports channel, sat down with a wrestler named Mr. USA Tony Atlas, who was a big wrestler in the very early 80s. Do you remember him? Oh, yeah. I actually had an 8x10 of Tony Atlas.

I saw him wrestle live, and he had 8x10s and was signing them at the end. Where did you see him wrestle live? Melfort, Saskatchewan. He was wrestling in the Stampede Wrestling Circuit. Stampede Wrestling. I remember it well. He was going often to travel through to small prairie towns. And this guy, he is saying that that originally you know the move that hulk

hogan does where he cups his ear and listens for applause yeah um the very first person to do that was somebody named thunderbolt patterson uh and in the early 80s uh mr usa tony atlas wrestled with him decided that he was going to try that and had one of the very first matches that Hulk Hogan had in the early 80s. And he did that in front of Hulk Hogan, and the next time he saw Hulk Hogan, he had integrated it into his act. Oh, so it was a third-hand hand gesture. Yeah, third-hand hand gesture. Yeah, third hand gesture. And anyway, so just this week on the Score TV,

he revealed that he was the guy who Hulk Hogan got the handcuff ear that set the world on fire. He stole it from me stealing it from him. He's like Krusty the Clown. If this is anybody but Steve Allen, he's stealing my bit. This is anybody but Thunderbolt Patterson. So this week wasn't even Hulk Hogan news. It was Hulk Hogan history. You could teach a whole curriculum.

Oh, sure. Hulk Hogan mathematics. Yeah. Hulk history. Hulk Hogan mathematics. Prayers plus vitamins equal real American hero. I'll never forget that equation as long as I live. Now back to the real matter at hand.

Celebrity birthdays. It is the eyes of October. Shut up, Dave. I don't have anything to add. Oh, no. I wanted you to. I just wanted to be a shut up guy. I just wanted to say shut up to somebody.

This is actually a huge birthday day so i'm like there's a uh i don't know uh maybe maybe eight or nine today there's one for every day in the month uh happy celebrity birthday on this the 31st of may happy celebrity birthday to rapper waka flaka flame is 26 today well that's not a thing. Is that a person? Yeah. WakaFlaka Flame. Flame. Who does that person rap with? He raps with the Oak Ridge Boys.

Yeah. They're really trying to contemporize. He raps. He's a solo rapper. Okay, WakaFlaka Flame. WakaFlame. Happy Celebrity Birthday to Irish actor Colin Farrell is 36. Who I've seen in person.

Really? How does he look? He's Dreamboat City. Really? Yeah, he looks like a dude that you go, Oh, man, I hope my wife doesn't see that. It's really going to. I'm already on the cusp of being intolerable. He's really going to drop it down a notch.

Yeah, I saw him in New York City. Really? New York City? Yeah, we were in the same hotel. That lets you kind of, a peek into my life. That lets you know what level you're living at. But yeah, we didn't have an exchange or anything. I just remember going, God, he is good looking, that guy. He and also, he was in that movie Crazy Heart with Jeff Bridges.

Jeff Bridges, really? Yeah. Have you ever seen it? No. He's like, Jeff Bridges is like an old country singer. And Colin Farrell plays his like protege that ends up being like a really famous country singer. And it's crazy. You're like, oh, he's actually a pretty good actor.

Like he actually can act. I was surprised too because my first notion of Colin Farrell was that he was this dreamboat that all the gals were gaga over. But I hadn't seen him in anything. So I lumped him into that Tiger Beat kind of thing. And then actually my first time seeing him act was in Daredevil, right? Yeah. So you don't get a real good window there.

He threw a dart through somebody's head in that movie. I remember that. In Bruges, which is a fantastic movie. Oh, yeah, really funny movie. And he's fantastic in it. Yeah, and I had the same reaction. I didn't know he was a really good actor. And then in Horrible Bosses, he was hilarious.

He was great in Horrible Bosses. Turns out, who knew he was a really talented dude. He started off as a Hollywood bad boy. Yeah, right? He would drink. And he would Irish all over town. The movie I liked him in. Irishin' up Hollywood. Puttin' a green spin on this town. I forget what I liked him in. would drink and then he would irish all over town uh the movie i like them in up hollywood

putting a green spin on this town i forget what i like them in uh like tiger land or swat was he good you're just making up movies approaching tiger land he uh he was in charge of all the flies um happy celebrity birthday to canadian-born wrestler vampiro oh wow it's 45 today i've never heard of vampiro um i think i always thought i was kind of in the loop when it came to pro wrestling 45 so he's he's up at my age but this would have been yeah i know brandon and would have come up through wrestling school together but But the age at which you watch wrestling, you're watching older people, generally. Well, you know. Like, even I don't.

Harley Race, as an example. I don't think I know any 45-year-old wrestlers. Like, that's like Stone Cold Steve Austin's generation. Oh, that's true. Yeah, that's right. And I don't think he was in the WWF. He was maybe in. But I know Stone Cold Steve Austin.

I'm 45. Yeah. Well, you're cool. I'm 45. Yeah. Well, you're cool. I don't understand the... What was... I wonder what Vampiro's gimmick was. Well, probably something... Vampiro's sucking butt.

Because you're not allowed to bite. That's one of the things in wrestling. Mind you, there's vicious rule breakers all the time. Yeah. You're not allowed to use a chair either, in theory. But the ref's not looking. use a chair either in theory yeah but the rest not looking you think that his thing was that they would only be able to wrestle past uh darkness with him like they could never do any like overnight wrestling got a matinee match he can't show up yeah exactly or like you pull a mirror up

that would be the foreign object pull a little compact out of your trunk. People are all throwing garlic things in the ring. Vampires aren't afraid of mirrors. Mirrors don't harm vampires. Oh, yeah, that's right. They don't like them. Yeah, he wouldn't see himself. Don't they try to avoid them, don't they? Well, it's for other people so that they don't realize they're vampires.

Happy celebrity birthday to... Wolfman! To Suddenly Susan star Brooke Shields is 47 today. Oh, wow. She's only two years older than Vampyro? Oh, yeah. She's very young. They could have dated.

Nothing comes between her and her Bugle Boys or Calphins. I forget what brand of jeans she endorsed. Bugle Boys are the chips, right? No, it's just Bugles. Those are Bugles. Now I have a craving for Brooke Shields. Happy birthday to Canadian heartthrob singer and sunglasses at night wearer, Corey Hart. Corey Hart is 50 today.

Nice. Good work, Corey. Yeah, you made it. He was a heartthrob, eh, that guy? He was a good looking dude. He wears his bifocals at night. I wear my cardigan in the summer.

I'm always chilled. Happy birthday to actress and My Density, Leah Thompson. Oh, yeah. How old is Leah Thompson? I always had a crush on Leah Thompson. 51. Oh wow. Yeah, me too. She was Lorraine from Back to the Future.

She was a bit of all right at that. And she was Caroline in the City. Was she also in Adventures in Babysitter? No, that was Elizabeth's show. Yeah, a lot of NBC's must-see Thursday lineup is having birthdays. Vampiro. I don't know why this made the cut.

Happy birthday to actor Tom Berenger, 63. Sure. That's all he gets. Happy birthday to former football star and sideline kisser, Joe Namath, is 69 today. What is sideline Kisser? Have you seen the clip? It's a few years old of him drunk on the sideline and a reporter, I believe Susie Colber, is up talking to him.

And all he says is, I want to kiss you right now. Oh, wow. Well done, Joe Namath. Still getting it done. Happy birthday to squinty actor Clint Eastwood Actor, director, singer, songwriter Clint Eastwood Is 82 today

When you said squinty actor I thought it was going to be What's his name, the guy from Oh, Frank Stewart Although that's true I was thinking Big Bang Theory. David Galecki. He's always squinting.

Johnny Galecki. David from Roseanne. I went to school with his brother, David Galecki. He still owes me 20 bucks, that jerk. And a case of beer. The answer to this week's celebrity birthday trivia question. This comedian stands like this. Oh, you're doing a jack benny no it's jeremy it's jeremy hot he's moved on from that he does the grinding the palm into his eye oh uh

somebody on twitter just said uh it was i can't remember somebody retweeted it but anyway it was like it seemed like it was the Onion Style website making fake headlines. Comedian Jeremy Hotz retires after successfully removing irritant from right eye. I can't remember.

Yeah, so he doesn't do the... because he used to just... he would have a curled up kind of fist and he would lean into it. One hand maybe in his armpit, one hand on it. But you're right, he would have like a curled up kind of fist. Yeah. And he would like lean into it. One hand maybe in his armpit, one hand on his... But you're right. He does the eye... Now he's grinding the eye, yeah.

His eye is bothering him. Who knows what the next 20 years will hold. Maybe a forehead rub. Does a big Q-tip. Cleaning his ear with a Q-tip the whole while. Yeah, the stage, the lights come up and it's just a micro like microphone microphone stand a stool and that a giant q-tip is sitting on the stool they're just waiting for him to come out one time he used to call me fatty all the time right yeah fatty we used to hang out quite a bit and

i remember one time we would our paths would cross quite often and we would do voiceover auditions in toronto there was a studio on richmond street when I lived there and across from the, the place where you would do the voiceover auditions, there was this great little Greek diner that had great breakfast and stuff. So one time I go in there, I always made a point of going there early, plenty of time before the audition so I could have a delicious breakfast. Right.

And so I'm in there chowing down on my diner breakfast and I realize, oh my Lord in heaven, I haven't brought any money. All right. This is the day of the month that I changed my pants and I forgot to put any money in. So I go over to the payphone we used in the day. There's a hit song about a payphone now. About? Yeah.

The Maroon 5 guy has a song. It's all about the payphone. I'm going to be, I'm at the payphone about a payphone now. About? Yeah, Maroon 5 guy has a song. It's all about the payphone. I'm going to be, I'm at the payphone, the payphone, whatever. It's like the Colin Farrell movies. It's terrific that there's a song about a payphone. Anyways, so I go to the, I call my agent, because Jeremy Hotz and I had the same agent at the time, Louise Parent.

I call her up, Louise, get a hold of Jeremy. Tell him to come across and bail me out. Bring some breakfast money. So word gets to him, I guess. So I'm sitting there biding my time. The big Greek dude is suspicious of me. You need more refills?

My 50th cup of coffee. You've broken a bunch of plates on the floor already. I'm sweating more than usual. So suddenly the door opens up and Hotz comes in. Fatty! Did you not bring any money, Fatty? You're the stupidest man in the world.

All day he was riding me about that. Yeah, he didn't get the message from the agent. Be subtle! Try and do this subtly. Oh, lordy. Okay. Overheard. Now we like to start our overheards with a guest and, uh,

uh, this week our guest is Brent. So why not start with him? Yeah. If not him, who, if not now, when,

if not now, who that'd be a good t-shirt. If not now, who in ballerina, pink ballerina, pink.erina pink um now i let me run this by you guys can i give you this is an old-timey this is something i overheard a long time ago that is still valid yes doesn't have to be something i encountered today there's no time stamp on my way to the show as long as it wasn't the overheard you said last time which we couldn't remember

oh no i remember what it was either. Oh, no, I remember what it was. It was the, we better be quiet, that fat guy's getting mad. The kid's in the mall. Was it Jeremy Ha? Yeah, dirty dog. Maybe it was. So anyway, this goes back a long time ago.

Ten years ago. But I remember it plain as day. I'm in the airport waiting to board a flight. And there's this old couple probably i put them in their 80s and they kind of catch my attention just because the gal the woman in the relationship it's a husband and wife i'm assuming she won't stop talking to him non-stop like she doesn't take a breath she's nattering onto him and i become fascinated because he's not paying attention at all and it becomes, I realize this is the

dynamic of their relationship where she, and I believe this kind of to be, you know, the older I get the more I believe in grotesque gender based stereotyping I think at a certain point the woman talks more and more and more and the man talks less and less

and less until they reach this point that this airport couple where she talks without taking a breath and he is dead inside and doesn't say a word. So she's talking so I become fascinated. I'm watching them and she's nattering on

about different stuff and so Rose thinks she's going to plant beets this year. I said I don't know if that's a good idea. They draw a lot of weeds in my book. And he's just sitting there kind of staring straight ahead. So I, I become fascinated. I pay attention. She talks for,

it's like a half hour till we board the plane. She doesn't stop talking. She's nattering at him. He doesn't say a word in response to anything. Now we board the plane as we're boarding. She's talking to him the whole time. Talking to Adam. Really? He's not participating in the whole time. Talking to Adam, really.

He's not participating in the conversation at all. We sit down. The flight is from Calgary to Vancouver, so it's like an hour. Hour-long flight. I'm across the aisle from them. She doesn't stop talking the whole time. Natter, natter, natter about nothing. And he is not participating at all.

I'm equally mad at both of them. In my mind, I'm saying to her, stop talking to him so much. And in my mind, I'm saying to him, just say something, you jerk. But I'm full on fascinated. And so we have the hour long flight. Then we land. And now we're about to deplane. We all stand up.

And he is holding his coat in his arm. And she says to him, why don't you put your coat on? If you put your coat on instead of hanging on to it, then you don't have to hold on to it. You can have your hands free, so put your coat on. So he starts dutifully putting his coat on, and then he starts doing it up. And she says, well, don't do it up. Just put it on.

Don't do it up. You'll be too hot if you do it up. And the first words he says in two and a half hours, just go! And I like, I LOL'd in the plane. I laughed out loud in the... Oh, what? Is there like a huge release for you after all? Just go!

This wasn't in our vows. Yeah. Controlling my zipper. Oh, man. I love how casually you use the word deplaned. You didn't miss a beat. You're using plain lingo. Yeah, absolutely.

Listen, I get around. Canada's a big country. Of course, I have to travel for my employment. That was 10 years ago? I don't know how long ago. I'm bad chronologically. But they're probably dead now.

Oh, sure. Likely. That's probably what's on his tombstone. Just go. If you don't, I will. It's the last dig at her. I think there's nothing greater in the in the world than a real funny funny tombstone you know oh man is there like do they exist yeah yeah there's like ones

like you know they're mostly from like you know early from bumper sticker times i told my son i was sick yeah that's one or i knew this would happen is another one and uh uh there's one. Or I Knew This Would Happen is another one. There's one where it was like a rhyming one about a guy that had a gun and then he lost his gun and he got shot. But I would like a limerick. A limerick. If I had a tombstone. Some sort of limerick.

About how gigantic my way is. Yeah. Make sure I'm buried in Nantucket. Make sure I'm... I gotta make sure I die in Nantucket some whaling accident harpooned all for the price of a gag an eternal gag

this might be a good one I was just thinking what would mine be you're standing on my shins that's good see back up you're standing on my shins that's good see you back up you're standing on my shins people aren't having enough fun with this yeah with this with death come on loosen up like just go you're the first guy to die you're too you know you're so important. You're so important.

Your soul is so important. Oh, no. Not you. Dave, do you have an overheard? Mine is an overseen, and it's not an incident. It's not something that happened. I didn't even know this was an option. Oh, it's an option. You can over a lot of verbs.

There was a guy. I was walking my dog in the park this past weekend. It was a beautiful weekend. The There was a guy I was walking my dog in the park this past weekend. It was a beautiful weekend. The weather was really nice. We're heading towards the beginning of summer and so there was a guy in the park sitting on a bench

a guy in his 20s by himself with his shirt off smoking a cigarette and the weird part was that he was balancing his iPhone on his shoulder. Oh, wow, like a

pet? Like a parrot, yeah. A parrot. I-parrot. And it was, there were people around, so I, like, maybe he was playing music off of it, and only he could hear it, but either way, it's obnoxious yeah wow yeah there's no real justification for that at all well what in this era of pockets and you can't

you can't move very much it'll fall off your shoulder wow maybe uh maybe had some weird like app that you said something and then it said it back to you in parrot language oh if that's not an app trademark pirate app yeah or you say hey how are you doing is it raining today's parody yeah it goes yeah if siri just wants a cracker the answer is always yes are parents that crazy about crackers really like in nature that a parrot wouldn't find a cracker. In nature. It feels like we thrusted that upon them, and then we made it like it was their big mouthful. It's like, oh, would Polly like the one option for food that I'm offering you right now?

I was watching... Your horrible life in a cage? I was on YouTube, and I was watching... I was trying to figure out what Dennis Franz is up to now. Start at YouTube. Yeah. He was Sipowitz on NYPD. Now, this is a good point because what's he been doing?

He's a parrot. Not a ton. Like, I was kind of... I looked at his IMDb. He's been in things but nothing that I've heard of. And I miss him. Yeah. He narrated Ken Burns' Chicago Police Force documentary.

Did he really? No. Oh, because that seems like something that would have been. But he, there was a history of bratwursts. He's like a hot dog, but he's kind of gray. He's like a gray hot dog. In Chicago, we put pickles on our hot dogs. There was a string of clips on YouTube that were like, the best Sipowitz line.

And one of them was where he sneaks into the chief's office with a tape recorder and leaves it running all night. The chief has a parrot. And the tape recorder's just saying, hey, you douchebag! All night. So that when the chief walks in in the morning, that's all the parrot will say. Classic Sifowitz. Classic Sifowitz. Are you like me? When you see

somebody who was at the apex, he was in a big network show, and then they're not working for a long time, I always assume, Oh, he's an asshole. Nobody wants to work with him. That's my first go-to. I think secretly I want them to.

Or is it that he's just made a ton of money? I never consider that possibility, that they're not an asshole. And he's not like your typical Hollywood leading man. Yeah, that's true. We've got to get Dennis Frantz. Yeah, it was down to him and Colin Farrell. If somebody's had a whiff of success, and then they disappear, I assume it's their own fault. They were jerky, and nobody will work with them.

That's what I like to tell myself. Yeah, it's their own fault. Yeah, it reminds me not to be a jerk. Well, in real life, Dennis Franz would sneak into people's office with a tape recorder. Yeah, it's that kind of behavior that's going to get you banned from show business.

That wasn't even part of NYPD Blue. There was just some footage from him around the set. So the chief of police had a parrot? Yeah, yeah. That's obnoxious. I know. Yeah, it's true. Well, you know what?

Who was the detective in the 70s with the cockatiel? Oh, Beretta. Yeah, all I could think of was Barnabas Collins. Who was the vampire with the pigeon? Oh, Vampiro. Vampiro, the pro wrestler. Now, Greggums, do you have an overheard? I have an overheard that happened while we were waiting to get on the plane to go to Saskatoon.

And I was sitting with... What time of day was that? We're having two plane overheards. Yeah. This is pre-plane. This is pre-planning, not deep plane. There was a... I was sitting with...

Again, time of day. Oh, time of day, one o'clock in the afternoon oh that's a fun time yeah and uh i was sitting with past guest charlie demers and uh he could see that i was purposefully uh listening in on this guy's phone call trying to salvage an overheard from this and this guy was he was calling i guess the phone company that provided his cell phone service. And he was saying, I keep getting this... I get a phone call from this number, and then they don't leave a message. And then I go to check my voicemail, and there's no message.

But this number keeps coming up. And then a long pause, like he expects them to go like, no problem, sir. We've got this under control. We've traced the number. All it is is somebody that's got the wrong control the number it's all it is is somebody that's got the wrong phone number that's all that it is it's not but he's fucking mystified and so there's no response and then he goes well no like it sends me the text that says there's a voicemail and then i go to check it and there's no voicemail and i don't know this number and i

don't know who it is long pause well no i haven't called the number and i don't know who it is long pause well no i haven't called the number because i don't know who it is i don't know who this is and this went on till we were boarding the plane and charlie's like you could see he was like you're listening to this and i was like when is this gonna finish when and it never did he he eventually gave up on the phone call because uh his problem wasn't a problem that can be fixed. Even in our modern times, if somebody wants to call a number forever, they can do that. That's a weird thing about cell phones now is people don't know which phone calls to make in public and which ones to make in private. I would never call my phone company or my cable company while I'm walking down the street or anything. But I see people that are dealing with these issues while they're walking in public.

It's true. Yeah. And I've had on the bus many, many times people on the bus having crying conversations and stuff. Wow. I could never. like crying conversations and stuff that like wow i could never it's like if they're on their cell phone they're in some kind of bubble yeah yeah because i my instinct whenever my cell phone rings if i have to answer it i'm walking away from whatever group of people i have yeah i shouldn't be they're gonna see me on the phone yeah yeah yeah they're gonna

hear my i don't want to you, inflict my conversation on their drinking. That's all they're doing, you know? Oh, I got to get up and out of here. My phone's ringing. Well, you're doing the right thing. Yeah, you are. You're being one of the responsible citizens. Yeah.

We also have now overheards that are sent in from people around the world. If you want to be one of those people, you can send it to stoppodcastingyourself at gmail.com, like these people have dutifully done. Yeah. This first one comes from a gentleman, I suppose, Chase. That's a man's name? Chase.

It's a bank. Yep. It's a thing that you do to one of our sponsors. It's the best part Yep. It's a thing that you do to a burger. One of our sponsors. Yeah. It's the best part of the French connection. He works at the local Tim Hortons in Prince George, British Columbia. And the other day, the toaster got a bagel caught in it. Classic hazard of the job.

Yeah. Classic Sipowitz. It's like the best hazard of the job. Classic Sipowitz. It's like the best part of your day. Bagel got caught in the toaster, so one of my supervisors decided it would be a good idea to stick a knife in the still-plugged-in-and-turned-on toaster. I shouted, don't do that,

to which she replied, it's okay because it's metal-to-metal and that will cancel out the electricity. Talk about something to put on your tombstone. I was sure it was going to cancel out the electricity. You know the rules. It's just science. Don't be afraid of it.

It's metal to metal to metal that's the problem yeah the triangle that's where people get killed in the electrical triangle this is just binary metal to metal we're all safe don't be an idiot that's why i'm the supervisor i feel like i'm the only one around here who understands literally i'm the one with long sleeves i remember my i think it was my mother uh someone in my family some woman who used to make me breakfast unplugged the toaster unplugged it with a knife like oh that seems wrong stuck the knife between the plug and the wall and hold the plug out there is no advantage to that and the wall like we kept the knife was still would cut, but it had these two burns in it.

Like two notches from where the plug was. Wow. Because, yeah, like I don't understand the reasoning behind it. Like I understand what you're trying to do when you're fishing inside a toaster. Yeah. As wrong as it is. I get what you're trying to do. Oh, you're trying to get the toaster.

Yeah, yeah. What is the point? I don't know. I think it was just you had a knife in your hand you got to use a tool yeah we're not cavemen i can't just pull a cord like neanderthals used to at the time edward scissorhands was a popular film um this next one comes from uh stephanie c in uh portland oregon. I live in a loft within a building with three other units that have a shared backyard. Two of my neighbors were meeting with their landscaper friend in our backyard. I was in my bedroom with the window open, looked out to the backyard, and heard the following.

Female neighbor, doesn't your girlfriend play violin? Landscaper, yes, she does, but she isn't in a band or anything. Female neighbor. Oh, I remember when I was in a band playing violin. Landscaper. Did you tour? Female neighbor. Yeah, we toured.

Partying. Drinking. Getting pregnant 16 times. Landscaper. So are we thinking three planters and gravel on the left side of the earth? That's a great bail on that conversation. That's 16 times, eh? Yeah.

Why don't we shift gears? I was mostly here for the landscape, but anyways. She's basically saying to him, I am really into having sex. If you've got a bit of time to kill here. I mean, is it... If you're running ahead of schedule. Maybe she has 16 kids, too. Yeah, exactly.

There was no implication of any foul play. That's true. Yeah, she toured for 17 years, got pregnant 16 times. Had an off year. We're really focused on my violin. To attend a graduation. It was like toying with lesbianism for a year.

Didn't pan out. Hard to get pregnant that way. But I managed to. And this last one comes from Keaton S. Also in Portland. Keaton, like Michael. Keaton as in Michael. It's aaton? Keaton, like Michael. Oh, okay. Keaton as in Michael.

That's a fun first name. Yeah, I like it a lot. I would say the last name. We don't say last names ever, but it's a great last name too. Oh, can't wait. I'll find out after. Yeah, totally. Cracker Jacks is his last name. I saw this posted at a bus stop near the Rose Garden in Portland, Oregon.

I'm not sure what that is. It's the City of Roses. I know that. Is that right? I think that sure what that is. It's the City of Roses. I know that. Is that right? I think that's what Portland is. Anyways, it's a poster, a white 8 1⁄2 by 11 piece of paper with pen written on it, with a phone number on it, and the title says,

Found Poodle? Question mark. Might be a poodle. Could be an alligator. Do not have internet. Not a person. I found something that wasn't a person. Seems to need food.

Maybe a person, just an untalkative person. Yeah, but with really nice curly hair. Let's say poodle? Well, there's a lot of poodle mixing. Sure. Designer breeds. La-doodles. Labradoodles.

And schnoodles. Yeah. Nancy and I have a dog that is a mixed breed. He's like a bag of snakes, right? He's a million things. And so people are always people don't want to accept that you don't have a pure breed dog, right? He's a million things. And so people are always, people don't want to accept that you don't have a pure breed dog, right? People see the dog and they go,

what breed of dog is that? And so I say, as you would, I would say, we don't know. He's a mix of a bunch of stuff we don't know. As soon as you admit you don't know, people become experts. And they tell you with 100% certainty.

Well, I can tell you right now. He's got a German wire hair pointer. They start laying down all this. And so Nancy has to rein me in now. Because there have been a few times when I go, really? What the hell are you basing that on? You just know for sure. Yeah.

And she's like, why are you barking at these people? Because the dog won't. Let them say their piece. Have people ever said, oh, you know, there's a test you can do. You could take blood and mail it in. You can send the DNA to the thing. I'm like, I don't expect he's going to be committing any murders. We don't.

And what do you gain Knowing what your dog is You gain not having that conversation That's true Purebred dogs have certain ailments That it's good to be aware of What kind of purebred dog you have Because you're aware of what ailments they're prone to But mixed breeds generally don't have that

So there's no I don't know, I don't understand the benefit It's people who They can't understand not knowing something. But if it was a hundred years ago, those people would be racists. Like they found an outlet for the racism. They may still be racists.

I know them well enough. We're having brief exchanges on the sidewalk. Yeah, you got some German pointer in you? But, you know, this is like something where they can say it to other people and like... I don't care for black dogs. Does he have any lab in him? Because I don't like black dogs very much. In addition to overheards that are written in,

we also accept overheards that are telephoned in. If you want to call us, our phone number is 206-339-8328, like these people have. Hey, Graham, Dave, guest. Got an overheard here. I was walking my nine-week-old pug puppy down the street, and there was a car parked with two older women in it, and they started to sort of gesture that they wanted to see me

to bring them over. So I brought the dog over and passed him into the car and he peed on one of their chests um now the woman was eastern european and just went it be on my chest it's okay though i go home now and then she passed him out of the car and they left. Okay, love the show. Bye. Well, that just made her day. I find it very... I don't know if it's naive or if it's heartwarming that he was so trusting. Like, I would never just

hand my dog into people in a car. Yeah. Cross your fingers. Hope they don't squeal off with me. Exactly. Abby won't let me just leave them tied up outside the Starbucks. Well, you know, like in Kits, there was a rash of this type.

I think if people left their dogs out, somebody would pull up, and there was eyewitnesses. It was a red possible Toyota, and they were snatching dogs. And then what do they do? They resell them as if? I don't know what they're doing. Oh, that's true. Why? Don't go down that dark. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a dark alley. I don't know what they're doing. Oh, that's true. Why? Don't go down that dark.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a dark alley. Horrible thing. Nothing good. Yeah, that's true. Release them into the wild where they're killed by coyotes. Day one, you know? Release them into a cheese factory.

I'm going to return you to the wild where you've never been ever. You've never even seen a show about dogs. Yeah, exactly. where you've never been ever you've never even seen a show about dogs yeah we always talk about how my dog has as is so ill-equipped for uh nature i think no you know what because he's very submissive i think the first animal that tried to dominate him he would end up having a really nice relationship oh yeah he'd be good friends would fall in love with yeah like i think an eagle would end up being like well i relationship. Oh, yeah. He'd be a good friend. They'd fall in love with him. Yeah. I think an eagle would end up being like, oh, I never thought about having sex with a dog. And then they would become mates. Yeah.

Mixed marital arts. The dog park that I go to, sometimes there are, you know, there's kind of the two areas. There's the big dog area, which me and my boy are in. And then there's kind of the smaller dog area. Right. And sometimes you'll see the eagle majestically swooping around, looking to grab a dog, right? Yeah.

And I'm on pins and needles about this, but the people who own the little dogs seem very, they couldn't care less. They're chatting amongst themselves. Their little two pound dog Is a hundred yards from them Yeah yeah I think people are

Maybe born and raised in the city And have a tiny little dog like that Have no There's no correlation That their dog is about roughly the same size as a squirrel And probably twice as delicious Because I'm yelling at them Oh yeah fantastic Full of kibble yeah

exactly and shiny coats you know there's i'm yelling at them there's an eagle out there and then they're just like oh yeah that is a hell of a bird look at that no no you don't understand like somebody at the park also just has an eagle that they've let off leash they think i'm a jerk like this guy's never seen an eagle before. There's a couple eagles at Trout Lake. And apparently they only eat smaller birds. They never take the dogs or even fish. Never yet. But apparently, were you telling me about this?

In Burnaby, there's a weird fish. Yeah, the snakehead. Snakehead fish. Yeah, the snakehead. Snakehead fish. And people have been warned not to let their dogs swim in Burnaby's Central Park. Yeah, because the snakehead, they'll eat a little dog or little birds or a duck. And they can travel on land. Yeah, they can move between ponds. Look, we live in a terrifying city where there are eagles, snakeheads, and then last year there was just a bear in the fucking downtown.

So it's not a safe... I mean, people from elsewhere in Canada go like, people in Vancouver are so pussies because we don't have much of a winter here. But we also, we're on the front line. We're fighting wildlife back. We're fighting the forest. Yeah, yeah. Sasquatch. Yeah, Sasqu on the front line. We're fighting wildlife back. We're fighting the forest. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sasquatch. Yeah, Sasquatch.

Come downtown. Yeah. So many Sasquatch robberies. Yeah, laying on weight. I'm, I don't know if you know this about me. I'm nothing if not an amateur cryptozoologist. I'm fascinated by Bigfoot. Always have been.

And there's cool new footage. Like, you know how you can set up a Google alert? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I have two Google alerts. One for my name, if my name is ever in the news. I get emailed by the good folks at Google, who I can't believe how they stay on top of it. B-R-E-N, one guy typing it, hunting and pecking.

And the other, I have Sasquatch Bigfoot That's my other Google alert Because one of these days You're all going to be proved fools For not buying into it I thought you said one day it was going to be All in the same Google alert Brent Butt Sasquatch Yeti

Brent Butt challenges Sasquatch To MMA What kind? Mixed Marital art. So, but anyway, these kids, there's groovy new footage. Idaho, the kids out near a mountain range, and they're in some kind of trek camping or whatever,

and they notice there's something gawking at us from up in a ridge, and it doesn't look like anything, like a bear or a moose or anything. These are all, you know, wood savvy Idaho kids. They know every animal under the sun. Well, this isn't one of those.

So one of the kids whips out his phone and videotapes this thing. And it's kind of cool because the kid doesn't even want it's not like he's doing it for recognition. He doesn't want his name in the paper or his face written. He doesn't want... So nobody knows who this kid is. Took it to his teacher.

What the deuce is this, he said. And then they took it to... His words exactly. He's an old school kid. What do you make of this critter? So then they took it to Jeff Meldrum. See, this is a name. I know these people.

Yeah. But he's a professor of anthropology in Idaho who is also a believer in Sasquatch. He believes, and this is due to the PhD, that there could very well be. There's enough evidence. Sure. There's reasonable thinking behind the notion that there is such a thing. They took it to him. thinking behind the notion that there is such a thing.

They took it to him. And also, they climbed up the ridge to where they found a footprint, took a picture of. But anyway, the footage is really cool. You see this thing. It's a dark mass behind some trees. And the way he moves away, they've stabilized the footage. It's like a giant dude walking away.

It's very cool. Correct me if I'm wrong. Last time you were on the show, you maybe brought up Sasquatch before. And it was a different video of a family playing. And they didn't realize Sasquatch was there. Oh, I think you're right. Until they watched the video later. If you talk to me long enough, I'm going to talk to you about new Bigfoot footage. I haven't seen this news.

This is a couple days old. There's a reason you haven't. Well, it's because I don't have the Google alert. But there was a thing in Australia where there's a group of Australian, they were in the outback looking for new species in general and they heard there's like an Australian equivalent to Sasquatch called a Yowie. Who's a criminal.

Yeah, exactly. He's a felon. The criminal lineage of the gigantopithecus black eye. He's the missing link between man and criminal. Yeah. Yeah, he's the missing link between man and criminal uh yeah yeah he's known because he has like the he wears a black mask around his eyes yeah and he's carrying a bag with a dollar sign really phrenology is what you use to discover these big the shape of his skull. Giant sagittal crest. Oh, anyways, they think they discovered a yaoi.

Okay, next phone call. Australian style overheard. We overheard a yaoi yelling. Hello, Graham and Dave. This is Amanda in Portland calling in an overheard. I was just getting my hair cut, and the guy behind me, he was getting his hair cut. I overheard him say, so if they called bingo but didn't actually get bingo, they would put mustard in their face.

And the guy cutting his hair said, mustard? He said, yeah, mustard. It was Dijon, too. All right, thanks. Bye. Oh, they were playing Hot Dog Rules. Hot Dog Rules bingo. Street bingo.

I've never played bingo, but I do know that there's a lot of smoking going on in the bingo community i've never heard of mustard being involved no me either well in my community there's a lot of smokies and so yeah there was always mustard around um uh but why would you yell bingo when you didn't have bingo other than to be a jerk yeah well it gets well that's why they do the double check right some people just make mistakes listen it's an honest mistake something yeah yeah exactly it's you know people get swept up right you get bingo fever you get dauber fever that's when you drink the water from the bingo hall you get bingo fever start just screaming bingo and you only got two numbers. How could you?

You only have two numbers. Well, there's the free space in the middle. Even that just makes three. You're still too short. Doreen, you're the worst. You're banned. I've never actually played bingo. Have either of you played bingo?

Oh, yeah. Yeah, big time. And I had to work. I worked at a bingo hall. As a... Mustard applier. Yeah. Mustard bouncer.

He would punish the people. Mustard macer. I was a... When I was a kid, both of my brothers played lacrosse and hockey, and they were two... You played bingo. I played bingo, exactly. The apple rolled far away from that tree. I played bingo.

Exactly. The apple rolled far away from that tree. No, part of the deal with being part of a team was that you had to go work at the bingo hall. And my brothers were too young, so I worked at the bingo hall for them. Oh, wow. And I sold tickets. Cracks. Yeah, I sold crack on the way out. Guys, I made a mint.

These old ladies, you don't think But when they got some money in their pockets I got stabbed twice Doreen you're the worst Our final phone call has to do with Are you guys familiar with the Brand new British boy band One Direction I've heard of this

But only via Twitter My life is Twitter is like my life is... Twitter is like a bunch of references I don't get. It's like a bunch of people talking about something that I'm not in the loop on. This is one of those things. Well, they're dreamy. They've got

the swoopiest of hair. And did they do a recreation shoot of the Abbey Road cover? I don't know. It's them walking across Abbey Road. Is this the band that Clint Eastwood's wife is managing? And there's a TV show about them? I don't believe so. Well, it's possible. Because that's a reality show, right?

Clint Eastwood's wife is a manager of a boy band. I think it's... Simon Cowell was behind them. He and Eastwood are enemies. Well, I think they would be, they're British, so I think they would have a British management. I'm going to look this up during this overheard.

We will play this phone call right now. Hey, Dave and Graham. This is a guest. Hello, guest. This is a combo drunk dial overseen heard. Overseen.

Typically overheard. So once I tell you what I've seen, it will be heard by you. So maybe an overheard. I saw the cover of a teen magazine called J-14 today. And there's a very popular boy band called One Direction. They all have little blurb confessionals

right on the front. For example, it says, Zayn's secret shy side. Interesting. Niles is looking for love, which is awesome for Niles is looking for love, which is awesome for Niles. And then

was Lewis held back in school? Probably the bad boy of the group until you get to Liam. And Liam's little thing on the cover says, Liam, I was born dead.

Oh, wow. Hardcore. A boy band member born dead. Does that mean he was still born? He overcame it and became Liam from One Direction. You can't keep this kid down. I was born dead and I still turned into something.

Still became the fourth best guy in One Direction. I'm on the cover of J-14. What have you ever done? What is J-14? I don't know. He said that's a magazine because I'm from the Tiger Beat era. That's where your dreamy boys were on. Tiger Beat

17. 17 YM Roofless magazine. You've already launched past my... My interested teenage boys stopped at Swank. Swank. Tiger Beat. Perfect 10. Yeah, J14 I've never heard of, but you know what?

It's alphanumeric. Kids love it. Briefly, as a young, I don't know how old i'd be like a little kid four four or five years old uh i shared a bedroom with my sister and i right younger or older she was older i'm the youngest of seven kids so everybody had to share a room with somebody at one point there was just there was she was the only daughter living at home at the time so she had a room to herself and there was all the other boys were crammed into a room. She had the world by the tail.

La-di-da. Classic Della. Nothing but room. And we were like fighting to the death. It was like a cage match. We were fighting for fist fights over oxygen. But briefly, for a time when I was very young, I shared a room with Della and she was in the full

kind of tiger beat mode. There was, I just grew up staring at, uh, Donny Osmond. Right. She heard her two big loves are Donny Osmond and, uh,

Bobby Sherman. Right. Oh, wow. No David Cassidy in the mix. Oh yeah. And David Cassidy. No,

she was stone cold in love with, uh, Garrett. Leaf Garrett. Yeah. No, she was pre-Leaf Garrett today. So those were the three,

uh, Bobby Sherman, David Cassidy Garrett today. So those were the three. Bobby Sherman, David Cassidy. Bobby Sherman guest starred on The Partridge Family. Yeah, oh sure. That was too hot to handle. I'm surprised the TV didn't blow up. That's kind of... And Donny Osmond. I grew up staring at these dreamy

dudes. I spent about a year of my life staring at these dreamy dudes. I had a sister who at one point, when I think one of my sisters moved out, just like a knee-jerk reaction, my remaining sister said,

Oh, I'm going to turn your room into a Guns N' Roses shrine. One of the clubs, when I first started comedy the late 80s one of the clubs in Toronto the bartender was super he looked like Axl Rose he dressed like Axl Rose he was full on

GNR rules and it became like a running gag with the comics that if you wanted to get this dude fired up and see like White Hart Rage, say something bad about Guns N' Roses. And let's say if you had nothing to do, if you were a little

bored and you wanted to see a guy just lose his nut over something, you'd just say I think Guns N' Roses are a little overrated. He would lose it. I think Slash's snake pit's gonna be better than Appetite for Destruction. Why a top hat in this day and age? That seems weird. What's he, a magician?

He's sure got a lot of curl activator. He would go nuts, this guy. He would get so mad. Hey, Graham, did you manage to find out who manages One Direction? Yeah, Simon Cowell, you're correct. And the band that Mrs. Eastwood manages is called Overtone. Oh, my. Wow.

It's terrible. This is according to Wikipedia. Overtone, sponsored by Coppertone. If you had to guess, do you think Clint Eastwood has ever heard Overtone perform? Does he excuse himself from any? He's never around no he has to but it's like i don't know if you watch mad men but to me it's like don draper listening to the beatles where it's like yeah he listens to 30 seconds and then goes it's time for bed that's uh that's how i

picture is like oh we just worked all day on this album. He listens to the opening chorus and goes, All right. That sounds great. Good for you guys. Yeah, he's probably had to have dinner with Overtone. That's probably how Clint Eastwood listens to the Beatles, too, though. Yeah. A lot like Don Draper.

Yeah, that was like a little after story. That's good. Good for you guys. Yeah. For a million dollars, Clint Eastwood couldn't tell you the difference between The Beatles and... Overtime. And Overtime.

It's true. My wife manages one of them. I'm not sure which. Is it his wife or his daughter? His wife. His wife? Oh, okay. Yeah.

His daughter. His daughter chainsaws purses. Yeah. And travels around with an orangutan. Chainsaws purses? Is that what you said?ses. Yeah, and travels around with an orangutan. Chainsaws purses? Is that what you said? Yeah. Destroyed it. A $100,000 purse. Set it on fire and chainsawed it as a piece of performance

art. Well, then it's justified. Then I get it. You know, of course Clint Eastwood's going to spawn somebody who does performance art. It's not like he was ever going to produce something as macho as Clint Eastwood. It could spawn somebody who does performance art. It's not like he was ever going to produce something as macho as Clint Eastwood. It could only have gone the other direction. And he's got to be fine with it.

Yeah, sure. Yeah. Like, who would he have to have given birth to a bear wrestler? My kid knocked out a rhinoceros. It's unbelievable. Pretty good. Pretty good. I've never been able to.

I've punched rhinoceroses so hard And they keep coming This kid Flapped them Puffer than the old man Right in the horn Right in the horn we said Oh Dave do you want to wrap this up? Well before we do let's take a quick break

Graham this week the show is brought to you by Comedy Bang Bang Which starts this Friday at 10 o'clock, 9 central, on IFC. And this week's guests on the show are the aforementioned Zach Galifianakis, Will Forte, Andy Daly, Gillian Jacobs, and Tom Lennon. You're talking to me like I don't know already. It's followed by Bunk, IFC, this Friday. Now, Brent Butt, you are going to be traveling in the near future. You're going to be doing some shows

outside of the Vancouver area. Is that correct? Do I have that correct or is that way wrong? No, you've hit the nail on the head. I've decided to branch out beyond the town I live in to earn a buck. Yeah, I'm going... You know, I don't tour for great lengths of time like I used to. I'm, I don't tour great lengths of time like I used to.

Sure. I don't tour for months at a time like I used to. But, yeah, I'm doing some theater shows in Alberta, Calgary, and Edmonton coming up. I don't know when this podcast will become available. It'll come out on Monday. Oh, well then, yeah. If you go to, I also have some other shows coming up that I'll be posting. If you go to my website

Can I plug my website? It's teen dream J14 What do you think the J stands for? Junior Oh pardon me It's funny how we have the same name Dave the Jackal

Jackal 14. That was my old CB handle back in my truck driving days. But I go to brentbutt.com and there's a thing that says, see Brent on stage or whatever it is. And I'm now in charge of running my own website, which I've never been before. You're the webmaster. I used to have a dude do it for me, a guy who worked for me. And then he stopped working for me.

He went to law school. Jesus. Yeah. I don't know what that's going to get him. Oh, he saw that show at the firm. How's that a bit of a backward step from being my minion to a lawyer? All right. Good luck.

Good luck with that. But anyway, so instead of hiring another guy, I thought, well, how hard can this be? I'm in charge. I will be updating personally. I'm kind of enjoying it because sometimes I'll record videos and put them on my website and stuff like that.

Like a lonely middle-aged dude in a basement. I've got nothing going on right now. Yeah, here's this cabinet I put together. These are the videos. Hey, you guys ever go under the internet? Mostly posting videos of Sasquatch. I should do a show about Sasquatch.

Well, nobody's stopping you. At this point in time? We've pitched plenty of shows, and that's the one that's going to make it. I want one of them to make it. We've pitched shows, products. I like the mall movie thing. I like the mall movie thing. Let's do it.

We've pitched shows, products, sex fighting. Yeah. Here's the thing. Here's the kind of greasy producer that I am. Here's the thing that attracts me to mall movie. Aside from, I think it's a good idea. Who are you paying? Right?

Nobody. that's who you give somebody a Banana Republic gift card they're good you gotta pay a couple of camera guys and an editor and that's why the reality shows are you know, they're so popular you get sponsored by the mall because of greasy producers like me

who can bypass the union somehow I'm always warring with myself because I'm a member of every myself because I'm a member of every guild and plus I'm a member of the producers association. So I'm forever at odds with myself. I've got to back away from every conflict.

Their official logo is just a sack of money. A sack of money. That's what Canadian producers are all over. Man alive. We can't afford a logo. Yeah.

Logo. Our logo designer went to law school. Dave, do you have anything to plug? I believe the Music Waste Festival is happening this week. Oh, sure. That this episode is released. Tonight even. is happening this week.

Oh, sure. That this episode is released. Tonight even. I believe the first show that I was doing has been missed. Oh, sure. Okay. But I will be a part of the Hero Show, which is an evening of one person's sketch. Oh, nice. It's live monologues on the 8th, Friday the 8th of June at the China Cloud on Main Street in Vancouver.

I will be there. I will be there for you. I will be there for me. I'm looking out for number one. So that's me. And to you, Graham, I understand you just released a special. I did. TheStandUpComedians.com.

It'll be the only special up there for this week. And it's kind of a staggered release five bucks cheap right exactly mad magazine stuff how do I plug this to my twitter people I'll give them that link I will send it to your twitter people

via law school send it to my lawyer he peruses everything that comes through Twitter. I can't read anything on Twitter. I might get sued. But yeah, thestayoutofcomedians.com. And yeah, check out...

I'm sure there will be a link on the blog post. Oh, yeah. That you put each and every week. At maximumfun.org. And if you like the show, tell your friends. Oh, sorry. Looks like enough people have joined the Chicago group. I'm working on it.

That we will try to figure out a... Looks like we're going to do a live show in Chicago. There's a surprising amount of paperwork involved in doing a show on the States. I bet there is. So we're going to have to... You know, I threw the first pitch out at Wrigley Field. Oh, really? How about that?

Can you hook us up somehow to get to Chicago? Do you know Dennis Franz? Yeah. And yeah, if you like the show, tell your friends and check out MaximumFun.org for the blog recap. If you want to get in touch with us, stoppodcastyourself at gmail.com or 206-339-8328. And come on back next week for another enthralling episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself.