Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 224 - Kayla Lorette

Episode Date: July 3, 2012

Improv and sketch comedian Kayla Lorette joins us to talk Eurovision, streaking, and lawn. And big changes come to Celebrity Birthdays.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 224 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who did not believe that Kevin Nash is in the new movie Magic Mike. He was wrong, Mr. Dave Shumka. What you said is nonsense to like an old person.

Well, how many, if people don't know who Kevin Nash is or what Magic Mike is, I don't appeal to them. And I don't care. That's my two areas of expertise. Yeah. The Magic Mike fan. The horny lady ducking out of work early to see a matinee of Magic Mike. And the confused young man who

watches wrestling and then all of a sudden sees his favorite wrestler as a stripper. That's my primary target. Why is like an 11 year old i'm imagining he's an 11 year old he can be anywhere between 11 and 17 late 17 how how what's the rating on the movie he buys a ticket to brave yeah exactly i was trying to think of cars whatever whatever. Brave. And then he sneaks into Magic Mike. Yeah. Red-haired cars. It's the weirdest boner. And he tells his friends. It's magic. Yeah.

Yeah. And that's what the movie's named after. Yeah. Our guest today is a very, very funny lady. Sketch, actress, improviser. Ganza attendee, star of television and films, right? Yeah.

And she's our guest all the way from Toronto, Ontario. Miss Kayla Lorette is our guest. Oh, hi, guys. Oh, hey. Thanks so much for having me. Thanks for coming. It's pretty great. This is so fun so far.

Yeah. This is... The most fun part is over. Yeah. This is where we really get down to brass tacks. A bit of a letdown. Okay. Now it's like...

From now on, it's like 90 minutes of meditation. Yeah. Yeah. And introspection. Is there a meditation cast? And are they like... Is it just like every couple minutes, keep it up? Yeah. You introspection. Is there a meditation cast? And are they like, is it just like every couple of minutes? Keep it up.

Yeah. You're doing great. Found your inner yin yet? And then you hear, it's so quiet that you can hear what they're watching on television. In the next room. Yeah, in the next room. And it's just live with Regis and Kelly. So if you don't have, oh no, Regis isn't on it.

Yeah, he's dead. Yeah, he's dead. Yeah. Oh, good joke, everybody. Yeah... Oh, no, Regis isn't on it. Yeah, he's dead. Yeah, he's dead. Yeah. Oh, good joke, everybody. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, let's get to know us. Get to know us. Now, Kayla, you're originally from here, right?

I'm originally from Vancouver Island. Oh, right. Okay. Yeah. Lady Smith. Is that where Pamela Anderson is from? Island. Oh, right. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Ladysmith. Is that where Pamela Anderson is from? Yes. Oh, wow.

Yeah. Well, I think her family, I think between Shamanus, the city of murals, and Ladysmith. That's right. That's where Pam Anderson's from. Yeah. Cool. Is there a mural dedicated to Pam Anderson in Shamanus? No.

And. No and. No and. This is the new improvos. No, and. No, and. No, and. This is the new improv. New improv, guys. I did a comedy show about Ladysmith and drew up like a mock mural of what I think the Pam Anderson mural should be.

And then had everyone sign a petition. I have not gotten a response yet. How long does it take to get a petition through to the mayor of... Lady Smith. Is it Lady... It's short for Lady Smith. Black Mambazo. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I was waiting for somebody to... I missed it the first go around. That's fair enough. Yeah. Well, anyway. Anyways.

Did you really actually put in a petition to the city? Well, I sent it to the mayor of Ladysmith And I assume they're buds Because the mayor of Ladysmith was also our history teacher And also owns the bakery in Ladysmith But he But Ladysmith isn't the city of murals No, but I thought he'd pass it on

Oh, to Shamanus Like there must be some kind of mayor hangout Why wouldn't you just take uh get a photocopy and just send it to the other mayor uh to shamanist mayor well i feel like i have a relationship with the mayor of ladysmith how did you do in high school in his history class oh great his history class was so fun he was always so emotional about everything and would bring cinnamon buns in from the bakery he owned. What? Is this true?

Yeah. I mean, they were like day olds, but they were so good. Every day he would bring these in? Yeah, like not every day, but like every other day. Every other day, I guess, if they're day old. Yeah, and then he'd always like. You can have them every day even if they're day old. Well, you can't bring in on Monday day olds. There's no fresh cinnamon buns on Sunday, surely.

Oh, yeah. They sell out on Sunday. It's a fresh cinnamon buns on Sunday, surely. Oh yeah, they sell out on Sunday. It's a big brunch crowd. Yeah, exactly, right? Church picnics, etc. They were pretty good. Yeah, it did great in his class. He would bring the cinnamon buns in and then always cry about sad history.

And he was always like... When you said he got emotional about history, I assumed it was like, all right, so get out there and vote, you guys. That's why it's important. You eight-year-olds. But he would just cry about sad history. Oh, yeah. He'd be like, and they used their skin to make lamps.

And then he'd be crying and he'd be eating the cinnamon buns. Were you going to the history of Silence of the Lambs? Yeah, exactly. Buffalo Bills. Yeah. Yeah, the curriculum's really weird. It was all over the map. Yeah.

Now we're going to learn about a little film called Saw. Yeah, really emotional. How many, this is a very small town, so how many people would have been in your class? Or in your grade, I guess. In our grade, I don't know. I think the school had maybe, was it 700 students? It wasn't terribly small. That's pretty small, right?

Yeah. Not that small. No, it wasn't. It's not that big, though, am I right? Well, okay. I will give you that. Yeah, you raised a good point. Yeah.

Well, okay. I will give you that. Yeah, you raised a good point. Yeah. And did you go all the way through matriculation on Vancouver Island? Yeah. Yeah, I moved to Vancouver when I was 18. After I graduated, I moved here for a couple months. These little town blues are melting away.

Yeah. Moved to a slightly bigger city. I'm going to do small steps. I'm going to come to Vancouver, work at Sully's Bagelry. Yeah. And then, oh, my Dave connection. Yeah. I think we never met when she was in Vancouver, but she once sold me a babka.

Oh, there you go. So you kept your cinnamon bun kind of connection going. Oh, yeah. There's been a real theme. You put that on your resume. Oh, wow. Yeah. Oh, wow.

Now that you step back yeah yeah it's like that dumb show who do you think you are where they step back to show you your family tree then they take it away from you yeah yeah yeah um so then you worked at all these bagels and you how long were were you in Vancouver for? Not very long. Not very long. Long enough to make an impression. Oh yeah. Right.

Really laid down some groundwork here. Meeting people, handshaking, doing, doing the things. Um. Bagels. Bagels. Bobcas. Bobcas. Canishes.

Yeah. Gefilte fish. Sure. You know, once a year. They wouldn't always crack it out. Um. Is that a, is that a Jewish term? Crack it out?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. a Jewish term, crack it out? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I got it. I got it. Yeah. And then what? And then I did a really embarrassing reality TV show on CBC. What?

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, I think I know it was Canada's Greatest Hoarder, right? Yes. It was you and some old lady from Nova Scotia. Yeah, I didn't win, but I have a terrible problem. No, yeah, it was called Second City's Next Comedy Legend.

Came in second. But features Sully's because the host, Trish Stratus, the wrestler. She's so mad at Stacey Keebler. Oh, man. She came into Sully's to surprise me and tell me I made it to the next level. But they were filming from behind me, and then I had to pretend I was so surprised. Oh, weird. I was like, oh, well.

I always wonder how they do that on reality shows. I guess it turns out they don't. They don't. Tiny tanned woman, like huge breasts coming into Sully's. Oh, that's not that rare, right? There's one in the West Side, am I right? Yeah. Yeah.

Okay. Who did you lose to? Was it Eugene Levy? Was it? Yeah. Did you still keep in touch? Yeah Did a great job He was so good

And I lost to a girl named Megan Right Who now lives in Halifax But she was good Has anyone from that show become the next comedy legend? You're looking at her Oh yeah Yeah

Honestly, no, everyone kind of dropped off. Is that right? No, everyone's kind of still plugging away. But, you know, it was a weird show that no one watched. But it was fun. Do you think that Trish Stratus' family, they'd probably watch? Do you think that the people,

the same thing is going to happen to the people on the new CBC reality series? Which one? They sort of did it before with... Never mind. They're trying to find the next Dorothy for the stage production of Wizard of Oz. Oh, that's right. Yeah.

No. A friend of mine... Isn't it The Sound of Music? Well, they already did How Do You Solve a Problem? Like Maria was the name of that one. Okay, that one. A girl that was... I had two friends in that show

and they said it was upsetting. It was a weird show. Another doing one for Dorothy? Yeah. Great. So there's no real good... Has anybody, aside from the one girl that was on America's Next Top Model,

who seemed to have some sort of career afterwards, she married one of the Bradys. Oh, yeah. Adrienne Curry. Right. And aside from her, has anybody gone on to have anything good happen to her? Well, Colleen from the first season of Survivor was in that Rob Schneider movie. What a woman.

What's the one that's on The View? Oh, yeah. Blondo. Hasselbeck? Yeah. What was she on? She was on season two or three of Survivor. Oh. Maybe two.

Honestly, when I'm feeling down about myself, I just go on YouTube and watch clips of people yelling at Elizabeth on The View. It's so fun. Is it usually her co-host? Yeah. Or does, like, Mario Cantone come on? Yeah, usually it's like, well, when Rosie was on, ooh. Oh, yeah, yeah.

There's, like, some good medleys of them fighting. Like, eight minutes of them arguing. The best hits. And then I'm like, oh, my life's looking okay. What are the best things to like just get lost in on youtube because uh our friend ryan beal would just watch uh to catch a predators over and over and over one thing i know i can get on a huge cycle of is uh like news uh anchors fucking up news anchors or news reporters I could watch a straight hour of that.

Just some fun bloops. Just settle in. Yeah. Yeah. Bloops. Yeah. It's easy to fall down weird rabbit holes. I just got into, well, I just watched Eurovision in Europe.

Eurovision's the best thing ever. They invented ABBA. Yeah. It's a singing competition where every country Sends a representative Was there anybody since ABBA Celine Dion competed for Switzerland in like

Mid 90s and won Was Jedward in this year? Jedward was in Ireland's claiming that they're gonna keep sending Jedward until they win And those boys are gonna Their looks are gonna fall apart going to keep sending Jedward until they win and those boys are going to their looks are going to fall apart. I'm pretty into Jedward right now.

Did you hear that there was like a terrorist plot to kill them? What? Like Al-Qaeda was plotting to kill Jedward? Just because they didn't like them? I don't know why. Oh, because it would send a message. Yeah. Well, because I guess their hair to Jedward. Jedward are these Irish guys that have, wear wear weird sparkly suits.

Yeah. They're twins named John and Edward. Jedward. Oh, that's clever. And maybe it was just that they're twins and Al-Qaeda hates twin towers and twin... Oh, that's smart. Yeah. I see the connection.

I also tried to kill the Olsen twins. Yeah. And Tegan and Sarah. Yeah, just some twins and then those buildings. So, yeah, literally. That's really sad. Jedward, you know. They survived.

God, they're out of control. So what is their deal? Because I've seen pictures of them and then I've been like, I'm not clicking on this link. You have to, oh no, you should watch them. Like, their dancing is out of control. So they're singer and dancers. Are they famous? Is Eurovision you send people who are already famous in your country?

I don't know. I mean, none of the, like, there isn't one act on Eurovision that was acceptable, like, as music. Like, it was like a lot of trash. This is except Jedward. Trash was amazing. Did I say trash? Yeah. Jedash was amazing. Did I say trash? Yeah. Jedward was amazing.

Wow. Well, there you go. There it is. Yeah. The mind is a curious thing, the way it works. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know if they're famous already in their countries. I guess a little bit.

I've been following Jedward on Twitter. Oh, what do they tweet? Oh, well, I don't know. They're not really good. I've been following Justin Bieber for twitter and oh what do they tweet oh well i'm i don't know they're not really good i've been following justin bieber for a while and he's nailing it like he's great at twitter yeah what is it lots of spelling mistakes like weird questions like they're like have you guys showered yet today you're like what time is it where you are yeah like yeah that's what happens when the publicist isn't around. Just handle your own Twitter account for today.

Did you see that Ringo Starr started a Twitter account? Have you seen... Oh, Kayla. Have you seen Ringo Starr's vlog? No. Is it all peace and love? Oh, yeah, the peace and love thing.

It's nuts. It's so great. Does he wear a jacket with a t-shirt a lot? No. Yes. Sunglasses. Little round sunglasses. And I think just a family member is filming it in their backyard, and he must be editing it, because it's ridiculous.

You think that he's sitting down and editing it? It feels... I really want that to be true. I feel like it's true, because there's a lot of weird cuts. Or he'll clap his hands, and suddenly it'll be really close to be true. I feel like it's true, because there's a lot of weird cuts. Or he'll clap his hands, and suddenly it'll be really close to his face. It's great. Does he use a star wipe a lot?

Because that seems like that. Maybe it's a little on the nose. A little on the nose. I think he's better than that. Yeah. Do you? That's amazing. At least he's not aware that that's an option. Yeah, he hasn't learned about wipes yet.

Yeah. At least he's not aware that that's an option. Yeah, he hasn't learned about wives yet. Wow, I wish I knew what Jedward was. Or is. They're still alive. Yeah, it's these two guys. I think they're like cousins.

And they wear spangly suits. But what do they sing about? They sing about twin stuff, twin life. Yeah. Twin life. I've actually never heard it. But I assume, yeah, it's twin stuff. Like, uh-oh, we're wearing the same clothes again, brother. Is this a mirror?

Our accents are terrible. I can always rely on you to finish my... Actually, okay, so last year at Eurovision, their song was called Lipstick. Oh, hey. And it's about a girl that has high expectations for getting gifts. And then this year

this song was Waterline which is just about being in over your head when you fall in love oh sure we'll play the tracks later so you can compare which ones you like better oh my god Jedward now was Eurovision

you were in actual Europe yeah I was in Frankfurt, you were in actual Europe? Yeah, I was in Frankfurt. Like you were touring around. Yeah. We talked about that before the show, but you were touring around doing improv stuff all over Europe. Yeah, well, this tour was just in Germany.

I went with Becky Johnson. Yeah, past guest. Amazing past guest. And yeah. This is Becky Johnson now. I know. Right? Congratulations. She got married. fun yeah oh yeah i watched eurovision in because i was staying with a guy it was the one part of the tour where becky and i weren't together so usually we would just go to bed and

like gossip about weird things the germans did did you see what the germans did today but then in this particular place, we got separated, and I was in Frankfurt teaching for two days, and she was in a town called Marburg. And the guy I was staying with was really nice, but kind of weird and hard to talk to, and was really into crystals. Not crystal.

Crystals. Okay. Like their healing power, or did he just have posters of them? Healing, I was, of them just sexy pictures crystal a day calendar would you like some crystal light you look marvelous he just wants to watch Monsters Inc. all the time

oh lordy. So he was into crystals. Did he give you a crystal? No. Did he take any from you? He had like a pitcher of water in his kitchen with all these crystals in the bottom. And in the morning...

And you drank it? Oh, sorry. I thought you said a picture. Yeah. That's crazy. A pitcher of water. A pitcher of water. Go on.

A pitcher of water. A pitcher of water. And he would drink from it every morning, but wouldn't share the crystal water with anyone else. So I don't know. He would sometimes, I'd wake up and it'd be like 6 a.m. And he'd be just having a glass of the crystal water and then go back to bed. It cures insomnia.

Yeah. And then I didn't know how to like make him talk about it. And there's all these like Himalayan salt like lamps everywhere. And so my way of trying to start the conversation was how much did these cost? There you go. I was like, did you say it very accusingly? I was like,

I was reading a book and went, Norbert, how much would one of these run me? I was like, I've been thinking about getting one. He's like, I don't know, $40.

I was like, okay, great. Back to my book. I was like, I've been thinking about getting one. He's like, I don't know, $40? I was like, okay. Great. Back to my book. I can't wait to gossip about what the Germans did. Oh, I emailed Becky later. I was like, oh, he's got crystals. It's so fun here.

Oh, wow. Crystals. Maybe I should start drinking crystal water. You should. It's working for old Sperkensee Deutsch. Yeah. He looks great. Yeah?

Yeah. Like he looks younger, fresher, more crystallized. Yeah. His skin kind of has this hard sheen to it. Yeah. Very cut angles. Yeah. How was Germany in general? Did you love it? Yeah. I cut angles. Yeah. How was Germany in general?

Did you love it? Yeah, I really like it. These tours are amazing and beautiful and great, and you get to do improv in front of amazing theaters, in front of great people. And then you have to teach a lot. And the teaching's really tough. You have to teach to who?

German improvisers. Oh, wow. Am I the only one in this room? Well, you've already seen it. I would love to see some German improv. Oh, yeah, I guess so. Are there any big differences? I don't know.

It's kind of weird. I mean, there's lots of different companies, obviously, that are doing different things. But it feels like, because there's such a foundation of art and good theater in Europe, but all the improv feels like a weird copy of North American improv. So it's like these beautiful actors that are doing silly games from Whose Line Is It Anyway? And so there's this weird slight disconnect between the two sometimes. There's companies doing incredible work, but then some, they've been doing it for like 30 years,

and you're like, this is out of control. But you got to play in theaters and stuff. And Germans like to laugh, I guess, is my biggest question. Yeah, they like to laugh. There can be kind of weird after shows. They're like very analytical of like what you do. And with their tiny glasses. Yeah.

Yeah. And their crazy crystals. Little birds. But they would ask things like, like they ask like why a character made a choice. They're like, why did the woman decide to leave the band? And you're like,

I don't know. Like, okay. Because I had to make a decision? And we're like, I don't know. Like, okay. Because I had to make a decision. Like, just really wanting to know why you did things. And then one man came up to Becky and I and said, your show is very good, thank you. Seems like you two really like trouble. You like to get yourself in trouble.

And just like, straight face. We're like, um, thanks. Thanks for coming. You like to catch yourself in trouble and then you raise the stakes. You create a setting,

you create a character. This is an improv. Yes. Oh man, that sounds great. When I was in Europe, we watched something that was, when I was in Sweden this past Christmas, it looked very much like Eurovision, but it wasn't Eurovision.

It was just a ballroom dancing competition. Oh, my God. And it was in Russian. And there were like 10 couples on there. Yeah. And they would, we didn't understand how they were scoring, but there was one Canadian team and they were in first place. And we were like, yes, Canada.

And then we discovered that they were actually in last place. Okay. Fair. Yeah, because in ballroom dancing, they have a whole different scoring system like tennis. Number one is the worst. Yeah, well, we thought, oh, yeah, they got 10 points. Oh, no, they're in 10th place. Yeah.

10 points out of 1,000. That sounds so fun. Was it so? That's like, how did you wander into a ballroom dancing competition? Oh, it was on television. Oh, okay. Wow. I was really picturing you at a live event.

Just like we were picturing you at Eurovision. Yeah. Yeah. I just went. I just went. I just went there. My buddy Crystal Water took me. He knew a guy.

Oh, man. Yeah, there was just a big lineup, and Dave just got in it. He's like, I'll check this out. Yeah, sure. Whatever's on the other end of this has got to be good. It's not going to be some weird, awful European game show where I... Yeah, exactly. Whoever stands 99th in line is line gonna go on the lava coaster

um but i i uh when we were talking about youtube i wanted to say that the rabbit hole that i've gone down is uh watching uh videos of people uh rejecting wedding proposals. Oh, wow. Yikes. Yeah, that's a good one. That's a tough one, but it's worth your time. Yeah.

Like at sporting events and stuff? Yeah, yeah. Like big flashy ones. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oof. Yikes. Because I would be so mad if someone proposed to me that way.

At all. I don't ever want to find anyone. Don't you? But like publicly like that. It's. I don't ever want to find anyone. But like publicly like that. It's so, oh, I know what you mean. And the guy's face when he realizes that. It's just, oh, yeah, it's always the guy. A woman wouldn't do that.

No, a woman wouldn't do that, right? Well, women don't really propose. But come on, it's 2012. Things are shifting. Even times are changing. Women wouldn't do something big and splashy like that. No. If ladies are into proposing. Because it's a bit tacky.

Right? Yeah. I feel like once Monica did it to Chandler, the gates were open. Women can propose to men. Oh, how did she propose to Chandler? Chandler was so nervous. Yeah. That he couldn't.

And then he got Joey to make it seem like he wasn't going to propose, and then Monica thought that they were going to break up. This is Married with Children, right? Yes. And then Chandler comes in and Bud Bundy's super horny. The dog's talking. Toilet flush, toilet flush. Applause, applause, applause. The rest writes itself.

The neighbor's shrill, wearing a vest. Oh, lordy yeah so Chandler entered the apartment and Monica proposed to him oh did she have candles lit

yeah it was very it was very bromantic Dave what's going on with you proposal wise well

we recorded our last episode two days ago so not a lot has changed. Oh, really? But I saw a news story today that I really enjoyed. And I love the news here in Vancouver because they're hour-long newscasts, but they shouldn't be.

There's not enough news to fill an hour. What do you think, 15 minutes? 13 minutes. Yeah, I mean, you can do a half hour with sports and weather. Oh yeah, sports one, that's right. But today, within the first, I think it was 15 minutes into the newscast,

the story was about these high school students who were streaking at their high school and their punishment was they didn't get to attend their own graduation. Aww. And like the news reporter said, some people are, because of this, some people are even boycotting the graduation. And then one of the students was like, yeah, my parents aren't going to come now that I'm not in it.

So that's what they meant by boycotting. But I never streaked or anything. I don't, can't remember any... I don't think I did any kind of shenanigans around graduation. Because it's that time of year when you're just dying to get out of school. Yeah. Yeah. I've streaked before, but I've definitely never done it around graduation.

Tell me about that. Just describe that. It was in the middle... It was in Calgary. And it was in the middle of winter. And it was kind of a dare. It was an escalating dare thing until it was. I wasn't just solo.

I was part of a street team. Were there tryouts or auditions? I feel like the whole thing was a tryout. And whoever made it back won. We lost two people. Two really good people. It was in the middle of winter, so that upped the stakes.

And the testicles. Was it outdoor? It sure was. During a sporting event? No, it was down a semi-busy street in the dead of winter. What time of day? Let's say 11 p.m. 10.30, 11 p.m.

What kind of footwear did you have? We were wearing boots. That's the one thing that we were allowed to have. Well, because safety first. Thigh highs. Yeah, you can't accept prosy boots. Ew. So you're running around, and did anyone get caught was there nobody got caught we all made

it back except for those two that died those two that were hit by a snowblower yeah oh no um that's uh oh i guess maybe i did a like a car rally what is that that's like a scavenger hunt where you're you have a team and you're in a car. Sounds like fun. Yeah. You're not just digging around in the car that you're in. You're going from point to point. Yeah, and you needed a Polaroid camera because you needed to steal a stop sign or whatever. Or another challenge would be direct traffic.

And take a picture of yourself directing traffic at this specific intersection. And you got extra points for nudity. I like it. Oh, wow. Did you do it? I did not do any nudity. No, shy. Very shy.

Shy. Shy with good reason. Yeah. Just the way I was raised. Yeah, that's the reason. But I don't have any more of that sort of like, it's the end of June, the beginning of summer. Let's let off some steam. Yeah, that shit kind of goes away.

I'm just letting the steam build up. Yeah. I'm surprised that that was on the news. Right? That's what you're saying. Like, not enough news to fill up an hour yeah do you remember last year the news story that my favorite news story was that those uh i think there were like high school kids or like people in their early 20s maybe who did the to catch a predator thing uh like went online and lured pedophiles to a McDonald's

and then the guys were all there wearing superhero costumes. What? The only thing they would... When the guys showed up, they would just yell at them. This guy's a pedophile. In the movie Batman voice. Wow. That's incredible. That is pretty good.

Yeah. But then the guy would just walk away. I mean, the guy was fine. Yeah, and just like went back to. And the restaurant staff was, I guess, okay with it. Yeah. And the guy was like, I'm glad I didn't know the identities of those people yelling at me. Yeah.

That would have been very. I feel like the punishment should fit the crime. If they were streaking, then they should make them a 10 grad in so many clothes. Oh. So many clothes. So they'll be, you know. Too hot. grad in so many clothes. Oh. Oh, so many clothes. Yeah. So they'll be, you know. Too hot.

Yeah, so hot. Too hot. They'll pass out. They each have to wear four tuxedos. Yeah, and rent them. Yeah, exactly. And pay the cleaning charge, because they're going to sweat through all of them.

So sweaty. Yeah. I thought you were going to go the other way, that they should have to attend naked. Oh, no. They love it, though. Yeah, I assumed naked. But you're not streaking that they should have to attend naked. Oh, no. They love it, though. Yeah, I assumed naked. But you're not streaking.

You're sitting for three hours. Oh, yeah. And then maybe you won an award. Yeah. And what if this is the last night to tell your crush you're into her? She says, you're pain. Now, that's a great twist. That's a cool movie.

Because then at the very end, what happens? She shows up. She's naked. She's supporting the streaker. They run down the street together. Credits. Credits. Done. Movie. Done. Well, almost. Credits, but also what happened to those characters later.

So freeze frame, then you see what happens. I love when that's in credits so much. Yeah! It's like a little taste afterwards. Like weird fan fiction. I would appreciate if somebody, somebody on YouTube probably has done this, but have they ever done that

with a movie like Taken or something where they show all the characters and what they did? And it's just the song Freeze Frame? Yeah. Liam Neeson's daughter's friend was sold into prostitution she became a heroin addict

and died in Bucharest freeze friend they're making a Taken 2 I don't know why I don't know if it's the same daughter it's called Taken 2 fool me twice. Yeah.

Yeah. That's, yeah. Good stuff. But he killed everyone in Taken 1. Yeah. Where's the, what's scary now? You know what? There's always threats. Yeah, there's always, maybe his daughter went to a different continent and wants to get

singing lessons. It's probably not even his daughter. It's probably his niece this time around, or his daughter's daughter. It's a flash forward, or maybe it's a prequel. Oh, maybe it's him. Oh, maybe he gets taken. Yeah, he's got to save himself. He's got to untake himself.

Yeah, get untaken. They should call it Taken 2 Untaken. Taken 2 Untaken. Anyway. Yeah, so that'd be great. That's me. I saw a news story. Yeah, but a news story that really blossomed.

Yeah. Yeah. Did you have any shenanigans? When I was... No shenanigans. No? No. Really?

Maybe I supported shenanigans. Yeah. Were there shenanigans? I probably made fun comments besides shenanigans, but I don't think I ever did anything too shy. Too shy. Too shy. Too full of cinnamon buns.

Yeah. Just all doughy. No streaking. Too shy, yeah. Too full of cinnamon buns. Yeah, just all doughy. No streaking today. Oh, man. So many day olds. But did you ever play like a truth or dare and then things escalate and then all of a sudden you're doing

the dare portion? There's a couple mild pranks. I remember once my friend Sean and I, this isn't even a good prank, put a condom on someone's door handle of their car and then called them and told them to look at their car. It's going to blow your mind. And then, like, this guy's girlfriend was super, super mad at us. We were like, whatever. And then looking back, I'm super, super mad at us. We were like, whatever. And then looking back, I'm like, that was shitty of us.

That was not a cool prank. But you probably wondered. Just laying a condom on a handle. Oh, you laid it? Oh, yeah. When you said doorknob, I assumed it was like, but I guess it's a car. They don't have twisty doorknobs like a door. All diamond cars do.

But yeah, that works over a doorknob if you put a condom over it. Just lay it on top. You could knock it off with a stick. That's what you do in college to let your roommates know that you're having safe sex. Put a condom on the doorknob. Yeah, you screw it up. You put the condom on the doorknob and the sock on your penis. The necktie around your scrotum.

Oh, no. Oh, lordy. So that's great. And you, Graham? What's up with you? What is up with me? Here's what. Uh-oh.

Nothing. Nothing big. But something kind of like, it was a significant thing in that, like, ever since I moved out of my parents' house many, many, many moons ago, I've always just lived in rental places, so I've never had an opportunity or reason to mow a lawn at all, right? And today I mowed a lawn. Yeah, at the place I moved into

because there's a lawnmower there and the landlord's like, hey, can you mow the lawn? Just keep the place looking presentable? And you don't want to get evicted again. Oh, I don't. I mean, all my stuff's still in boxes because I don't believe that this is going to last either. Yeah.

I'm going to keep... My roommate was like, hey, you should unpack your stuff. And I'm like... I'm going to wait this out. Yeah. But yeah, the... I can see why it's a thing. I was never really connected to it.

Because it makes the grass shorter. It makes the grass shorter. It's very meditative. It's kind of fun to operate a lawnmower, which I haven't done in well over a decade. When was the last time you mowed a lawn? Probably about a decade, yeah. Yeah, it's great.

I didn't realize it growing up. Didn't realize what I had until it was gone. And now that I'm out in the world... Yeah, because it's a rare activity where you're outside but you can't listen to music. Yeah, no, I did. It was great. It's the lawnmower so loud, though. No, I wore

headphones and I listened to music. It was great. I could have done it all day. I kind of wanted to go to my neighbor's house and mow his lawn too. But his kids have destroyed their lawn so there wouldn't be much to mow. Doing what? I don't know. Yesterday they have a daughter and she was

making a homemade slip and slide and I was like well this is killing not only your lawn but your neighbor's lawn. Out of what? Plastic sheet and a hose. Was she having fun? Yeah, the kids are always having fun. There's scattered bubble-blowing equipment everywhere. Yeah.

Yeah, just army men that have been burnt and thrown over hedges. Yeah, childhood is happening right next to where I live. So do you think you found your calling as a landscape architect? Or I don't know if that's what they call a lawnmower. The only thing is, is I'm super allergic to grass. So I had to immediately like shower as if I had been like contagion. Yeah. Needed to get like whatever they call that, bio-showered or whatever.

Yeah, bio-showered. What was that? Did you grow up mowing lawns, or is that strictly a lad thing? What do girls mow lawns? I don't know. Girls mow barbies. Yeah, girls could, yeah. They mow barbies.

Princess horses. Yeah. No, I think I could have. I think I just chose not to. My dad would. We had a lot of lawn. My dad would. I think my dad likes to be a bit of a martyr.

So he'd be like, I'll mow the lawn. I know he liked it. Yeah, no. Have you ever mowed a lawn? I think once. Yeah. How'd that go? You know what?

Take us through every second. second okay i'm looking for rocks um worried about my head burning yeah i don't know guys yeah mowing lawns i don't know it was weird because it seemed like it was just like ah this is just a thing chore i gotta do but the whole thing of it was it was pretty was it a gas or a plug-in? Plug-in. Which was weird. Yeah, because you've got to sort of finagle that thing around. It was like a lawn vacuum.

Having to lift the cord up and gather it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're not wrong. Yeah. I'd be into weed whacking. Oh, man. They seem like fun. Those tiny little green wires spinning so fast.

I've hit myself in the shin with one of those. Jeez. Yeah. Ouch. You're a terrible lawn architect. Yeah, yeah. The people who come and do the lawn at this house, they only use a weed whacker. They don't mow the lawn with a lawnmower.

They just use a weed whacker. I feel like those people are missing out on a really enjoyable afternoon. I think it's more efficient this way. And then they just sweep up the trimmings. I think a weed whacker is like, sure, we can all agree that it's fun to weed whack. Yeah, weed whack. But I feel like there's no meditation involved in that. That's like a demolition crew.

Whereas this is like a nice, gentle car drive in the afternoon. Were you listening to the meditation podcast? Yeah, yeah. No, I was listening to the MoCast. It's these guys talking about different methods, different shapes you can create in the lawn. Oh, yeah. I really enjoy a baseball field that has a nice design in it. Some go crisscross.

Some have a gingham. Yeah, design in it. Some go crisscross. Some have a gingham. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Some go stripes. Is that a job that people can have? Just mowing a baseball field? Yeah, a groundskeeper. Are they achieving that with different lengths? I don't know exactly.

A gingham. You're joking. No, no, no. There's some fantastic... I've seen stripes. There's some stripes? Well, I mean, I think a checker or a gingham. It's different.

They'd probably call it checkered, but gingham is a fun choice. I'm going to see if there's a gingham later. When everyone goes home. Wait, we all want to know if there's a gingham. We'll stick around for that. Quick Jedward, quick gingham field. Yeah, absolutely. But they're just called groundskeepers, and that's a job you can have.

Yes, absolutely. Is that a job I can have? No, you're allergic. Anytime you find your calling, you're allergic to it. Yeah, that seems to be the case. Like cat wrangler. I'm good at wrangling cats. Nut taster.

Oh, no. Apple. Enthusiast. CEO. Can you not eat apples? Nope. Geez. I know, right?

You're a downer. Yeah, I know. What kind of life am I leading? What kind of cool picnic could we have? Not much of one. Can't be on grass. Can't bring all my cats. Yeah.

Cats are great at picnics. Oh, cats are so cool at picnics? Yeah. You can't throw nuts at Greg which is fun the nut nut throw game is out the window oh anyway so I mowed a lawn

so what big whoop right you guys what kind of weird I like that what's going on with me right now was the news and mowing a lawn like I know you guys did this two days ago. Yeah, but we're a couple of dads. I got a couple of kids at home. Yeah, yeah.

Sometimes the most exciting things that happen to me end up going for 10 seconds on this show. So, you know what? If I could get something out of the news. Get something out of it. That's true, because the last episode I talked about traveling for two weeks, condensed it down into like a sentence. Yeah. That's nice you know although here's uh no i'll save that for overheard i'm gonna save that for overheard oh i can't wait yeah should we move on well first let's take a quick a break

this podcast is brought to you by comedy bang bang every friday at 10 on IFC. It's hosted by Scott Aukerman. Yeah, we know that. Sure, we do. The musical band leader is Reggie Watt. Adoyoyoy. But this week, the guest is Seth Rogen. And other guests this week also include Will Arnett, Topher Grace, Bob Odenkirk, and Casey Wilson. What a lineup! Who are you to say no to that?

Yeah. Comedy Bang Bang. Comedy so nice, they banged it twice. IFC this Friday. Let's move on to Overheard! Overheard! Okay, it's time for Overheard. Things in everyday life. If you're a bit

of a looky-loo, a bit of a nosy-nose, a little bit of an eerie ear. You may pick up a bit of a feely skin. A bit of a feely skin, a bit of a tasty tongue. Good senses, guys. Cutting them off.

It all came from looky-loo, because you look with your loos. You look with your loos. These are things that you can overheard. Now, Graham, shut up. Oh, shit. Before we move on to overheards There's some big news this week About the future of Celebrity birthdays Oh my goodness

After much soul searching I have been speaking with my family And our god About the future of The segment celebrity birthdays And I have Decided family and our God about the future of the segment Celebrity Birthdays. And I have decided that instead of reading the Celebrity Birthdays for the day we record, I will read the Celebrity Birthdays for the day the podcast is released. Ba-da-ba-ba-ba-da-da.

Okay. Yeah. Ba-da-ba-ba-ba-da-da. Okay, yeah. Ba-da-ba-ba-ba-da-da. Okay, I got upset when you started that. I thought you were going to can the whole thing. No, no, no, no. No, I was ready with a musical cue, just in case. Thank you, that brought me out of that hole. Yeah, yeah, a little Tijuana brass.

And furthermore, it's no longer going to be Celebrity Birthdays. It's going to be celebrity breath days I will tell you the names of the celebrities and how old they're turning but you guys will have to decide whether they have good breath or bad breath

or more specifically what their breath smells like is this segment brought to you by Dentine? no this segment doesn't have a sponsor it's brought to you by IFC okay and it's called

celebrity breath days we've already received a ton of feedback on it gorgeous choices by IFC. It's called Celebrity Birthdays. We've already received a ton of feedback on it. Gorgeous choices. Brave choices. From now on, it'll be... It's telling you the birthdays that you just missed when we were recording. That's true.

That's not very useful. No, you're smart. You're smart. You're the smartest. Celebrity birthdays do have a use. Yeah. Absolutely they do. So we release these like Monday night. So these are going to be the Tuesday birthdays. This first week are celebrity birthdays, birthdays, happening on July 3rd.

Happy Celebrity Birthday. Dave, shut up. I am not making any amendments to my segment, but it's still my favorite and closer to my heart. It's a little thing called Hulk Hogan News. Hulk Hogan News! Hulk Hogan News! Hulk Hogan News!

Hey, you gotta do that, brother. By the almonds. Now, here's the thing. It's a doubleheader. It's a doubleheader Hulk Hogan News, Dave. Now, here's the thing. It's a doubleheader. It's a doubleheader Hulk Hogan news day.

Right now, down in the States, in Florida, there's been some hurricane. There's been a lot of rain, a lot of flooding. Just the season. Absolutely. I saw a picture on the internet of somebody's street with a shark on it. Don't know if that's Photoshopped. Probably. That's wicked. It is. It's super wicked. It's if that's Photoshopped. That's wicked.

It is. It's super wicked. It's an awesome way to live. Was the shark going through the street or had someone caught it? Yeah, it was going through the street. Did you see the fin? No, you could see it was an aerial shot so you could see the sharks. And I think there might have been a postman about to get a nasty surprise.

Because usually he's used to dogs chasing him at the gate. That'd get a nasty surprise. Because usually he's used to dogs chasing him at the game. That'd be a fun cartoon. How do sharks react to pepper spray? I don't know. Well, Mythbusters. Yeah, come on Mythbusters. Get off your asses. Get off your berets.

So, Hulk Hogan raced to Twitter where he posted a video of his backyard, of his property. Of someone going balls deep with his dog. Yeah, exactly. And he videotaped the whole walkway between his house and the beach. It's been washed out.

And he narrates the video clip. He sounds really... Broken up? Yeah, like really broken up about it, brother. Well, don't live in Florida. Well, no, you about, brother. Well, don't live in Florida. Well, no, you can't tell somebody that tan not to live in Florida. What other choices do they have? Yeah.

Yeah, I mean, come on, Hulk. Smarten up, Hulk. Smarten up is... I appreciate his, like, man on the scene. He's doing the job that the reporters won't. is... I appreciate his man on the scene. He's doing the job that the reporters won't. Reporters refuse to stand out

in Hurricane. They're not going to show any walkways. Yeah, exactly. They're not getting to that. Yeah, they're mostly focused on gazebos. They're all taking pictures of that dumb shark swimming up and down the street. Yeah, that was huge. Throw a hot dog at it. I mean, that's wicked. See if it eats hot dogs.

And this is the other thing. This. Throw a hot dog at it. I mean, that's wicked. It's even in hot dogs. Yeah. And this is the other thing. This is just a quick quote from Hulk, from Reader's Digest, as reported on by USHA by a reporter named Kitty Bean Yancey. Kitty Bean?

Yeah. Spell Kitty Bean and Yancey for me. Kitty is K-I-T-T-Y. Bean is Bean, B-E-A-N. And Yancey is Y-A-N-C-E-Y. I love that name. Kitty Bean Yancey reports that Reader's Digest asked famous folk to share their favorite spots across the country, including their hometowns. Here are some highlights.

Just their favorite spots? I guess. This is just random Reader's Digest. Okay, sure. Dalmatians. the country, including their hometowns. Here are some highlights. Just their favorite spots? I guess. This is just random reader's digest. Okay, sure. Dalmatians. Yeah. Wrestler Hulk Hogan likes to stroll in San Antonio, telling the magazine, I have traveled the world and been to towns both big and small, but nothing beats the Riverwalk.

He loves the walkways. Yeah, he does. He loves walkways. I know you can tell why he's so beats the Riverwalk. He loves the walkways. Yeah, he does. He loves walkways. I know you can tell why he's so busted up about this. He loves walkways. That's so cute. That's why he got into wrestling, was for the entrances. Oh, yeah.

He's like, don't care about what goes on there. Love walking up. Yeah. It's so fun. Yeah. Do you think anywhere he walks, he has his theme music playing? Yeah. It's called an iPod.

I'm sure. And it's called A Thousand Songs of That. Of Real America. Yeah, Real America. By Rick Derringer. Well, that was some great Hulk Hogan news. Now, it is time for the inaugural Celebrity Breath Days. This is... So fresh.

The Breath Days for Tuesday, July 3rd. So, if you're listening to this the day it comes out, you'll be able to walk up to someone and say, Hey, did you know that today is the 32nd birthday of Olivia Munn? Ooh. Olivia Munn. Fun one. Fashion. Yeah.

What are we supposed to figure out what her breath smells like? What is she from? She's from like like, TV. She's on the newsroom right now, the new Aaron Sorkin vehicle. She's also known from having intercourse with Brett Ratner of film. He was rude about it. Yeah, he'd write something about a fistful of shrimp. Okay.

Seriously, that's part of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was the movie he made. For a few shrimp more. The Spaghetti Western. Her breath? Like a latte. That would be my guess.

Like a Starbucks latte. Yeah, I'm going to go kind of like a gum covering an empty stomach smell. Like a bile? Yeah covering an empty stomach smell. Okay. Like a bile? Yeah. Okay. All right. The next birthday, happy 36th birthday to the actress who played Kimmy Gibbler, Andrea Barber. Oh, that's straight up ketchup.

Oh, wow. Yeah, I can't. I was going to say bubble gum, but yeah, ketchup is right. Ketchup is correct. Happy 41st birthday to Wikileaks founder Julian Assange. Only 41. I thought he was gray. It turns out he's blonde.

He's beautiful. Oh, yeah. Yeah, absolutely. He's perfect, just the way God made him. That's according to Wikipedia. His I want to say cigarettes, but I don't think he's a smoker.

He's Australian. Oh, dingo. Dingo. Kind of a dusty dog. Oh, eucalyptus leaves, of course. Happy 48th Breath Day to Herman's Head star, Yardley Smith, also the voice of Lisa Simpson. Eucalyptus leaves, of course. Happy 48th birthday to Herman's Head star, Yardley

Smith. Also the voice of Lisa Simpson. Oh! Oh, God. I don't know. Microphone foam. No, I think Cheetos. Like Cheetos. Not specifically not Cheezys or anything. Cheetos.

Yeah. Okay. I don't know. You don't have anything on this? You don't care. Pe. Yeah. Okay. I don't know. You don't have anything on this? You don't care. Peppermint tea. I don't know. Oh, yeah. Voice work. Voice work.

Yeah. Happy Celebrity Breath Day to two actors, both named Tom and both turning 50 today. Tom Cruise and Thomas Gibson. Greg from Dharma and Greg. Yeah. now we're talking great great combo yeah yeah both the same age but born on the same day in the same hospital those little gods from the same mother they're the they're they're the jedward of the uh oh yeah brunette actors good cover band yeah um anyway they're i mean i know what I want to say that is crass, but I'm not going to say that. Dharma. Okay.

I don't know what I was going to say. I don't know. That's not what I was going to say, but it's great. So they both have good breath. You could also just say good or bad. Oh. I feel like Tom Cruise, no scent at all. Oh, yeah.

Like, unsettling. And I think probably the guy from Dharma and Greg just probably, you know, like, yeah, just like a nicely brushed mouth. He seems like he has a clean mouth. Absolutely. You could eat off of that mouth. And the answer to this

week's Celebrity Breath Day day trivia question this tv host has pretty good breath oh um oh i got alex trident alex trident yeah uh that's pretty good i'm sorry it was Montel Williams he's 56 today absolutely he's got good breath he's got to talk to guests all day and so intimately

this has been the first of many celebrity breath days the first of many question mark that went so well yeah that's why your heads are shaking no no no. Now, onwards and upwards and jedwards to

overheards. We always like to start with the guest. That's our custom in our end of the country. Home of murals. It's just the way we were raised. Exactly. To be shy. Growing up when your parents made you do your overheard segment in your home.

Right, yes. If there was a guest there, they would always. Always start. You would have to. And then they would demand that I streak down the street to show my appreciation. Yeah. Boots though. You were allowed boots.

Yeah. Well, safety first. Yeah. Safety first and last. Now, would you lead the chorus? Oh, I would love to. Oh, yes. Oh, okay.

Okay. Now, would you lead the chorus? Oh, I would love to. Oh, yes. Oh, okay. Okay, so I didn't know to listen to the other people. I remembered that I had to do an overheard. So yesterday, before I went to the Sunday service show.

Yeah, for people who aren't in the Vancouver comedy community, it's not a church. It's not a church. Yeah. But they are a host of their very own podcast. Yeah. A beautiful podcast. And they have their own followers like a church. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely.

And it's fun like church. Yeah. And Sunday like church. Yeah, you learn a lot. Yeah, community. You get a little wafer. Yeah. Placed on your tongue.

Tasty tongues. Yeah. So I went to go get some food before the show. And so I went to, like, a really, really tiny Thai food restaurant on Main Street. And there was, like, three kind of, like, hippie women sitting at the table together. Like, I was like, I'm home. Like, these, like, loose, like, purple cotton and, like, lots of beads. And so I sat kind of in front of them and faced

away from them and i was listening to their conversation because it was a really small room and i was alone and one of them was clearly dominating the conversation and seemed like a horrible person um just the other two were too weak to break in so she was talking about her tattoos for a long time and like not being able to find love, obviously. And then she said this, which I loved, which was and you know, it's just like really

weird for me because I was only introducing myself as Ocean for three months. Ah! That's horrible. That's why the oil companies keep ruining our Oceans because of people like that. Yeah. She was horrible. That's why the oil companies keep ruining our oceans because of people like that. Yeah. It's a lot of ocean.

Oh, she was horrible. Right? Yeah. Oh, man. And, like, decided to change her name to Ocean. Did it for three months. Like, was probably a total B about it. Yeah.

And then dropped it. Yeah. And it was totally after they watched Ocean's Eleven. Wasn't even because of the ocean. Yeah, and it was totally after they watched Ocean's Eleven. Yeah. Wasn't even because of the ocean. Yeah, she loved Danny Ocean. She named herself him. Oh, man.

Yeah, exactly. Right? I was like, yuck. Welcome home. If you could change your name to any body of water. Fjord. Nice. Are the fjords the water or the Mountains that come out of the water Aren't they the little inlets

Fjords are like mountains That come out of the water aren't they I think they're Inlets and fjords are cousins aren't they Last year on Eurovision There was an inlets and Fjords. Hot group. Always the one group, yeah, absolutely.

Fjord, what would you be? I don't know, Delta. Oh yeah, that's good. Delta. I love to fly and it shows. Yeah, and also designing women. That's what you're about. I'm going to go with Crick. Oh, fun's what you're about. I'm going to go with Crick.

Oh, fun. That one's fun. Crick. Because it's like a regional pronunciation. Yeah, it's like a cool way to say Crick. Crick Lorette. Yeah, Crick. Oh, man.

That is good. That is. You know what? I'm going to commit to that for three months. Yeah. Guys, everybody calls me Crick. You guys call me Crick, okay? I didn't buy this pink Cadillac for nothing.

Because Crick Lorette would totally drive a pink Cadillac, right? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, this is big. This is a game changer. Yeah. Crick Lorette has a drinking problem. Yeah.

Oh, right? Crick Lorette's not well. Like, yeah. No, but you know what? She's wise in her years. Yeah, and she's fun. Yeah. Oh, she's...

I mean, come on. That is the one thing she's not lacking. She's fun. Yeah, oh, she's, I mean, come on, that is the one thing she's not lacking, is fun. Yeah, yeah. And heartbreak. Oh. Regret.

Oh, Crick. Crick, my goodness. The road you drive is littered with lovers past, am I right? That you've murdered. Also, Crick's a murderer.

Also, also, also. That's why you had to change your name. Dave, do you have an overhe over here mine is also from television uh it is uh i had another one but then when i came home today like we leave the tv on uh for the dog yeah yeah uh because he's uh by himself all day and uh he'll freak out if he hears sound outside. I'm the same way. You just have some white noise of the TV. And as soon as I walked in, it was the first thing I heard when I opened the door. I didn't even see the TV because it's down the hallway.

But right when I opened the door to the apartment, I walked in and I heard, And are bears smarter than we previously suspected? Yeah, absolutely they are. Oh, wow. You know, that's the real, they call that the picnic conundrum. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What was the event or trial that might have? It was like just an ad for the news that was coming up later.

And are bears smarter than we previously suspected? Oh, was this the same newscast as The Streaker? Of course it was. Oh, wow. There's nothing on the news. Scrape in the barrel. Are bears smart? Are bears smart?

How smart do you think bears are? And is being bear not so smart if you want to graduate? Cool connection. Oh, man, I should write the news. Yeah, that would be great. It would be great, right? You're not allergic to the news, are you? You know what?

Now that you're bringing it up. I'm all itchy. Is that what I sound like? Great. Hey, Gregs. Yeah. Now, you are also involved in this. Absolutely.

You're not off the hook. No, thank you for bringing me in. Thank you. Thank this. Absolutely. You're not off the hook. No, thank you for bringing me in. Thank you. Thank you. Thanks. When I was in Regina, Saskatchewan, as part of the comedy festival that I was doing there, one of the venues

had one of the rooms was where the comedy show was happening and the room next to it was a hardcore rock show. Oh, fun. Yeah. So there was a band playing very kind of that low, rumbly, death metal-y kind of...

Yeah, yeah. There you go. Death. Yeah. Yeah. Rumble. Yeah. But anyways, it drowned out most of the show, Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know what they are. I don't know if this is hardcore or what. And then somebody in the back of the room was like, I think they're playing a Goo Goo Dolls cover. And then everybody went quiet and we just listened. And literally it was at the part of the song where they're like,

we can run around this town, let the cops chase us around. Of Gin Blossoms. Oh, Gin Blossoms. So he was even wrong about it. But that's what they were covering. They were covering a Gin Blossoms. I hate jealousy. Identified as a Goo Goo Dolls song. Wow. But either way,

not as hardcore as we had previously suspected. A little bass goes a long way. Yeah, I think it was just when somebody was sitting close to the door, they were like, Hey, this isn't at all that thing. We are

Allison Road, Regina, Saskatchewan, second best in all that thing. We are We are Allison Road, Regina Saskatchewan's second best Gin Blossom cover operation. We are Congratulations, I'm Sorry. That was their second album. Pretty great.

That's wonderful. Now we also have overheards that are sent in to us from around the world via email machines. Yes. If you want to be one of those people, send it in to StopPodcastForYourself at gmail.com. This first one comes to us from Carolyn K. of Revelstoke, BC. Ooh. Right?

Have you guys been there? Maybe. Maybe. Check it out on the next time you're driving somewhere. Okay. No. Or don't. You know what? Do whatever you like. Fine. I overheard this on the 22 bus

last time I visited Vancouver. Two teenage girls. First girl, excitedly, will there be hamburgers and hot dogs at their barbecue? Second girl, no. First girl, shocked, no. What kind of barbecue is that? Second girl, a Filipino one.

First girl excitedly after a pause. Oh, will there be spaghetti? That's pretty good. Oh, yeah, that was good. But like hamburgers and hot dogs are just like the bottom of the barrel as far as barbecue stuff. Yeah. I mean, you can do a lot better than a hot dog at a barbecue. They're this city's local news.

Like, they're like, yeah. No, but if you're at a barbecue, you don't want a hot dog? Is that what you're saying? I mean, this could be a teen barbecue. Oh, maybe. I'm going to say you're probably sticking with hot dogs and hamburgers. Yeah, I guess so. You don't want to waste good food on teens.

Yeah. Yeah. Ugh. Teens will eat. They will eat literal garbage. Yeah. If you put garbage on the plate. They're like sharks they're like sharks yeah yeah oh don't eat a license plate they'll eat a postman just doing his job they'll eat eel postino on dvd absolutely they'll eat el postino and chocolate while they're at it for dessert um okay this This next one comes to us

from Edgar. Edgar, I went to the movies the other day to watch Prometheus. Have you guys seen it? I haven't seen it yet. Let's go. There was a new Batman movie trailer, The Dark Knight Rises. Despite

clearly showing Batman many times through the trailer, the guy sat behind us, asked his girlfriend, Is that the new Batman movie? Pretty great, dumb guy. Yeah, he had dumb dumb. Was that Spider-Man? Uh, yeah. I just...

Spider-Man got scary. I don't like this reboot. Reboot? Reboot. What did I say, reboot? I think you said reboot. I meant to say robo. I meant to say Rooboot. I meant to say Root Beer.

Are you guys excited about the new Batman movie? It's the only thing that's keeping me from jumping off a ledge. I can't wait for Batman. I'm really excited. And then what? Breaking Bad. Oh, that's going to keep you from jumping off a ledge. Breaking Bad is soon, isn't it?

I saw it's like July 13th or something. Yeah, something like that. Oh, I can't wait. And then what's going to keep you from jumping off a ledge? Nothing. Walking Dead? Good luck. Oh, yeah.

No, Walking Dead's going to get good again. No. Yeah, last season was a... Give up. Give up. I'm waiting for people to say it's getting good again for me to start watching it. Because I need to know I can pull through. Don't bother. Breaking Bad

Obsessed. Done. Ready? Done. Forever. And The Killing? Anybody? Rubicon? The Pitch? Okay, guys. Yeah, more of this. More of this.

More of everything. This last one comes, and I failed, ties in nicely to this particular episode. This is from Luke. Couple on a date in a coffee shop in Regina. Talking about regular get-to-know-you stuff. Guy to girl. I don't want to brag, but being a twin is pretty cool. Pretty good. I don't want to brag But being a twin Is pretty cool Pretty good I don't want to brag

I don't want to brag But being one half Of Jedward Is not bad Do you Being the ward Yeah So it was like a date

Yeah Yeah absolutely He was on a date With his Twin The thing is Is that she thought That she was dating

The other guy She's like How many wacky pranks am I getting myself into with this duo? Oh, yeah. Oh, I thought you meant the twins were dating each other. Oh, no, absolutely. That's what I meant. But then, do you think that twins, you know, like once one of the twins is married and the other one is still having trouble finding somebody, do you think they'd ever, like... They'd throw them a...

Yeah, yeah, like the one... Yeah, like the one twin goes out to the bar and then just lets the other twin do it? Yeah. I think they probably do. Yeah. I think that's probably what they wish. They agree to it with their weird language. I feel like, yeah.

Yeah, their weird mind language. Yeah, twins are kind of gross. Yeah. But wouldn't you, though, just to, right? Just to, you know to check it off? To check it off the list. What are we talking about? Two twins or one twin?

No, one twin, but you think it's the other one. That's your list? And then you find out later. Yeah. You're like, great, check it off. You find it checked off your list. Yeah, what? How did they get my list?

Yeah, it's been so hard trying to get it checked off because I can't actively pursue it. I just kind of hope I find tricky twins. Yeah, absolutely. Well, at the end of, on the last episode, I know we briefly touched on the movie Jack and Jill. But at the end, they do this, and it comes out of fucking nowhere. Okay, so if you guys don't want the end of the movie spoiled. No, no, this is during the credits. I absolutely do.

This is during the credits. They interview do. This is during the credits. They interview a bunch of real life twins for no reason. It's not like the movie was like twins, how to get along together. Like that's not what the point of the movie was. It was blue screen. Yeah. Here's how we use it. But these twins were talking and one set of twins said on the first date of the other twins who he is married to now, they switched.

So the first date that she went on was actually with the brother, not with the person that she's currently married to. That's gross. That's gross. A little bit. Because what if she was a little, right? I mean, yeah. Like, what if she is free and loose, she knows what she wants. She gives him all the good stuff. And then on the next date, she's like, eh?

I put the milk before the cow. Gives him all the good stuff. You know what I'm saying? They get to do that because being a twin is awful. What? I hate to brag. You're half a human. Yeah.

No, you're two humans. You're more human than human You're half a human if you're a twin. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like you're a freak. No, you're two humans. You're more human. You're double human. There's something missing if you're a twin. I don't know. I think there's something missing in just us being a one.

Just being us and a uni. And having to, yeah. I think the twins have it. I think, because think about all the successful twins. The Winklevosses.

It's because they're freaks. The Olsen. It's because they're freaks. Jedward. Jedward. These are, no, it's not because they're freaks. The Olsen. It's because they're freaks. Jedward. Jedward. These are, no, it's not because they're freaks.

It is. We like to see two of something. Gloves. Shoes. Because I think about, neckties. Magic neckties. Yeah,

anything that's a pair, I'm into. But like, yeah, think about the constant questions about identity. Like, am I the twin that loves sports?

Am I the nerdy twin? Like, there's so many. I guess I'm just thinking about Sister Sister, the TV show. Again, am I the twin that loves sports? Am I the nerdy twin? Like, there's so many. I guess I'm just thinking about Sister, Sister on the TV show. Again, another successful twin set.

With sibling synchronicity. Never knew how much I missed her. Being a twin sounds awful. I disagree. I think it sounds awful. I wouldn't want it. To all the twins out there, you have my heart.

I had a friend who absorbed his twin in the loom. Oh, funky. And now he's bigger than all of his other brothers. Oh, what? How does that affect his everyday life? Probably a lot. I don't know. He kind of told me

one night, kind of like, in a nice conversation about family. When his twin got killed. And then I started telling everyone, and I think he's mad. Yeah, probably. I was like, he absorbed his twin, and he's bigger than his brothers. Because I loved it. And and I think he's mad. Yeah, probably. I was like, he absorbed his twin, and he's bigger than his brothers, because I loved it. And now I think he's mad. Why do you think that he would want that spread around? It's just a cool story.

In addition to overheards that are written in, we also accept overheards that are called in. If you want to telephone us, our phone number is 206-339-8328. Hey, Graham and Dave and guests. This is Winston from Winnipeg with an overseen. I was leaving my apartment to go to the grocery store, and as I was leaving, there was a lady in front of me also leaving. When we got to the exit,

there was a rockabilly-looking girl there holding a tray which looked like bread. But then when I saw it, it was an erotic cake. It was a naked man's torso with a big dick coming up on it. Pretty good. Wow. That was some kind of narration there. I love this person

I liked his Stoppy starty way of talking Because it builds suspense You never knew Who Torso was going to be I liked that he thought it was a tray of bread Yeah Can you imagine a bread the size of a cake

Oh my god Probably just a bread with a dick I just thought it was some erotic bread Can you get an erotic bread? I guess you could get erotic bread Bread is already so erotic Round, soft The two elements of eroticism

Crusty Round and soft A beach ball Uh-huh. The two elements of eroticism. Crusty. Round and soft. A beach ball. Yeah. Filled with so much spinach dip. But why can't you get an erotic roll or an erotic... I'm sure you can. Have you ever seen an erotic cake?

Yeah. I've eaten an erotic cake. Yeah, I've eaten an erotic cake. I haven't even seen one. There are some... There's a really erotic cake, like a really funny erotic cake option at the DQ in Ladysmith. Dairy Queen.

Yeah. I don't know if people know. Dairy Queen. Absolutely. Too casual with the Dairy Queen. Yeah, there was like, the design was like not that erotic. It was like a woman's body, but her body was such a, like just a big triangle with like really vague breasts.

It was like the one page in the book. It was kind of sexy. Oh, yeah. That's fun. Oh, our son likes ladies. Let's get him this. We're from Ladysmith. Yeah, let's get him a sexy treats-a-pizza.

Fun. You've had an erotic cake? Several. Wow. Okay, wow. Did you break into an erotic bakery? Look, you're not a judge. I don't have to answer these questions.

You're going to some cool parties. Look, I've been a... My history teacher owned an erotic bakery. He used to bring in all sorts of penises. Get the day-old erotic cakes. All dried up. This is Joseph Stalin's penis. He would bring in some frosted dongs.

Next phone call. I feel like I'm coming off sounding like a real creep, but with this streaking and eating Karana cakes all the time. Hey, Dave and Graham and possible guests. I have an overseen here in Calgary, Alberta. I'm in high school and I just got my yearbook. Yes. And like in the back pages,

the yearbook company puts a bunch of random shit about, uh, about like world events. And I was incredibly pleased to see they had an entire half page devoted to explaining the resurgence of Greek yogurt, um, this year and how it had made a total comeback in 2012. And now the greatest thing going in humanity.

Oh, wow. John Stamos is cut. – maybe Stamos has a – he has a stake in one of these graduates. Oh, wow. When you're looking back at your – because I remember that. They would be like – I think the year that I graduated, it was like the big events they would have. Like Princess Diana died.

Like limes are coming. It would be like limes were the most popular. Kiwi strawberry is very big right now. Oh, wow. I don't not like anything about that. First of all, I like that when he

first started talking, I assumed he was a trucker of some sort. And then he said, I'm in high school. He's a powerful teen. Yeah, he's a jock. Absolutely. He probably absorbed two twins. Yeah, he absorbed two twins. He absorbed some triplets. He got in a womb, found some twins, sucked them right up.

Om nom nom. So do you think they have like, like they get class rings that say 2012. That say Oikos. 2012, the year of Greek yogurt. Oikos, Oikos. That was great. Yeah. Great work.

Great high school memories. Greek yogurt's delicious. Yeah, exactly. The Bow Valley Yogurts took home the cup this year. Is that the name of their school? The name of their school? And their team? Yeah. The team is the yogurts took home the cup this year. Is that the name of their school? The name of their school? And their team? Yeah.

The team is the Yogurts. Their mascot's a mess. Yeah. Yeah. He's got fruit on his bottom. Yeah. Yeah, he does a great thing where he does a handstand and the fruit mixes with the rest of the yogurt.

It's gross. Yeah. I guess Greek yogurt doesn't really do that, though. What is Greek yogurt? Just on its own? It's just thick. Yeah, it's just thick. You maybe, you know. You like stand a spoon up in it. It's good for you. It's good for you. You mix it with sesame oil. It's not something you do. All the cool magazines are recommending raw almonds. What are the cool magazines? I only read lame magazines.

Mad. Red Book. Crack. Reader's Digest. Swank. Perfect. Your final overheard is this one. Hey guys, I've got an overheard for you.

I'm studying forensic science and I was at a craft store buying fabric for an experiment. In this experiment, I'll be burying bloody clothing for a while and then trying to get DNA on stains. Jesus. The girl who was cutting my fabric was asking about the experiment. And then while cutting a swatch of denim said, if I was going to be murdered, chances are

I would be wearing jeans. So good choice. Okay. Wow. Yeah. There's a lot to say about this one. chances are I would be wearing jeans so good choice okay wow there's a lot to say about this one one does this guy know that he is an overheard because that's terrifying that's upsetting I need this fabric for an experiment

I'm just going to bury some like really bloody denim for a while and then dig it up I need you to not ask any follow-up questions. What would you say is your most absorbent fabric, blood-wise? What would be the best thing if you were going to be murdered in something?

Young Miss at this fabric store. What do you think you'd be murdered in? What wouldn't be suspicious? What time does this place stay open? Young Miss at this fabric store. Yeah. What do you think you'd be murdered in? Yeah. What wouldn't be suspicious? What time does this place stay open till? What would you say you weigh? That guy for sure killed that girl.

Is there a shovel store in the area? Where can I get my shovel? Yeah. That overheard made me feel weird. Yeah. I mean, that guy's probably cool, but... But, like, it's a weird program that he's in where the project that you have is to bury some bloody clothing. Then take it out.

Yeah. How long do you bury it for? A month, did he say? And then, like, why would it be a step that you go out and buy the fabric? Like, you think they'd supply that fabric. Yeah, there's tons of, you know, bloody fabric. That's what everybody in Quebec is protesting about. Hey, stop cutting back our education.

I gotta buy my own blood fabric for my findings. I'm tired of this blood fabric. Oh, man. That's my favorite Leonardo DiCaprio movie. Oh, man. Oh, you guys. God bless him for doing the program. Somebody's got to dig up them bones.

Well, we'll see if this guy is okay later. Was it Randy Travis was digging up bones? That's right. He was exhuming things that were better left alone. It's a country song. left alone. It's a country song. Now, this brings us officially to the end

of the world. It's official, you guys. Oh my god. Now, Kayla, we're just overjoyed to have you as a guest. Oh, thanks so much, guys. This is so fun. Now, people, they're hooked now. They're interested.

Where can they go online to find out more, find more Kayla? thanks so much guys this is so fun now people they're hooked now they're interested where can they go online to find out more find more kayla oh you guys gotta buy in uh i don't really have a strong or good web presence i guess you could find me on twitter at kayla laurette do it yeah yeah i'm on there. That's fun. I follow it. I follow it too. Thanks, guys. Probably.

Yeah, I think you follow me more recently. Yeah, okay. You know, I only recently met you. Yeah, yeah. You know what I like to do sometimes with people? There's only a few people I do this with is I follow them and then I see that they're online and I unfollow them and I follow them again. So I pop up in their feed as just following them for the first time. How are you?

Yeah. Yeah. How are you? Well, you know what? I bought some bloody denim. I was going to go bury some bloody denim. What if a bloody jeans tree grew? Never mind.

Wow. No, no, no. A love where it can go in. Yeah, yeah. I wish it wasn't the end. A Levi Strauss tree. Yeah, I got you. Just drip the blood. Oh, I could riff. I love where you're going. Yeah, yeah. I wish it wasn't the end. A Levi Strauss dream. Oh, I could riff on Bloody Denim Tree for a while. I'm sorry that this is the end of the podcast.

No, it's not. The end can last as long as you want. Yeah, exactly. Bloody Denim Tree, go. Yeah, it's done. Yeah, I don't know, guys. Follow me on Twitter. I can't wait to break a thousand. Yeah, you know what? Where are you at right now? I'm at, guys. Follow me on Twitter. I can't wait to break a thousand. Yeah. You know what?

Where are you at right now? I'm at, like, honestly, 941. You're going to break a thousand. Guaranteed. You're probably going to break a thousand before this episode even comes out. You guys. Oh, that's nuts. You're going to shatter a thousand.

Oh, guys. Absolutely. I can't wait. Old ketchup breath herself. Kimmy Gibbler. Andrea Barber. Well, yeah. Follow at Kayla Lorette. Yeah.

Right? Yeah, and anything else I'll be doing will be on that. Yeah, it'll be all there. Yeah. I'll funnel through that. Yeah, you love funnels. Absolutely. Yeah.

In cake form and otherwise. Dave, do you have anything you want to plude? I suppose the thing I want to plug at the moment is hey everybody, you can vote for us at the Canadian Comedy Awards CanadianComedy.ca open to the public, vote for best podcast don't vote for the other podcast

vote for us CanadianComedy.ca you can vote there I'm going to vote for you guys well you know what, just see who else is running you seem like a big liar no. I'm going to vote for you guys. Well, you know what? Just see who else is running. You seem like a big liar. No, I'm doing it.

July 29th. They have until July 29th. Yeah, but don't put it off until July 29th. Look, usually we don't. Hey, how come you weren't nominated in the Best Actress category? What's going on? I didn't submit. I guess I just keep dreaming that someone will submit for me and pay the $35.

Dream a little dream. Yeah. Absolutely. That dream is only $35 away. No, that's it. You? July 27th in London, England. In London town.

At the Comedy Cafe. Oh. Yeah. An evening with yours truly wearing a denim jumpsuit. Yeah. For the first time on stage. Oh, bloody denim jumpsuit. Hell yeah. Absolutely. You're going to London, England? I am going to London, England. And I'm gonna

do one show supported by a gentleman, I believe his name is Steve Allen. Not Steve Allen, you know, the guy who wrote all the books. The inventor of the pog. He did not invent the pog. Did he?

On an episode of The Simpsons. But yeah, it's going to be And how are ticket sales going? Great? I assume so. Yeah, I saw things saying that they're selling fast. Yeah, you know, it's London. It's the Olympics. It's a jumpsuit.

It's everything that you dreamed it could be. I'm going to sweat so much, but it's going to be worth it. It's going to be worth it, guys. Yeah, it's totally going to be worth it. Do a dark denim. It is. It's a dark denim. Bloody as all get out.

Yeah. And if it's wet with blood, they're not going to see that it's wet with sweat. These are tips from a pro. Yeah. If it's wet with blood, they're not going to see that it's wet with sweat. These are tips from a pro. Yeah. Absolutely. Ooh, yeah. You don't need dress shields. You just need to dab

some blood in your armpits. Yeah, just cover it in blood. Raise your hand if you're sure. And check out the at MaximumFun.org the blog recap that Dave puts together each and every week.

Yeah. What do you think is going to make the recap this week? Um, Jenward. Absolutely Jenward's going to be on there. Maybe some kind of gingham. Yeah, like some sort of groundskeeping. Yeah, different lawn patterns. Not of gingham, of groundskeeping. Yeah. No, just

gingham. Um, ooh, funny streaking pics. Oh, absolutely, a good streaking. I don't know if that's going to make it, funny streaking pics. Oh, absolutely. A good streaking. I don't know if that's going to make it. You could blur it. I don't. Look, how much time do you have?

What about the streaking clip from... The old school? That 70s show? Yeah. That 70s show? Really? Was there? They had a great streaking thing.

Absolutely. What wasn't great on that show? I think it might be the dad from that 70s show's birthday. Red? Yeah. What's birthday. Red? Yeah. What's his breath like? Ooh, beef jerky. Beef jerky!

Yeah, cool. Sure. But yeah, check out the blog at MaximumFun.org and all the other podcasts that are part of the Maximum Fun family.

And if you like the show, tell your friends and come on back next week for another amazing episode of Stop podcasting yourself