Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 226 - Erica Sigurdson

Episode Date: July 17, 2012

Erica Sigurdson returns to talk about the French, male strippers, and panhandlers.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 226 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name's Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who is going for and achieved a good camp counselor look today, Mr. Dave Shumka. I've got the moccasins and the camp shorts. Yeah, absolutely.

I've got a bare leg today. It's Bastille Day. Yeah, you've got sub sub sub shoe socks you can't even tell you're wearing them oh you can tell oh i can now yeah but i thought for a while maybe you were just uh free towing it yeah yeah yeah going commando hoof free dose brought to you by free towing um well no more free-toes for me, ever. And our guest today, very excited to have this lady back, one of our all-time favorites, hilarious comedian, writer, and just all-around great person. Oh, thank you.

Miss Erica Sigurdsson is back. Hi, fellas. Hey, lady. Hi, Erica. Welcome. Thank you. Thanks for coming back. Well, it was a self lady. Hi, Erica. Welcome. Thank you. Thanks for coming back.

Well, it was a self-induced return visit. But we were ready for it. Yeah, we're always ready. Yeah. Let's get to know us, you guys. Get to know us. Erica. Graham.

Comedian. Yes. Actress. Actress. Writer. None of which I've been hired to do over the summer. Unemployedness. Graham comedian actress actress writer philanthropist none of which I've been hired to do over the summer unemployedness

we recently had you on the show but we had you back because you just released your comedy special I did which is special it's a special time in a woman's life

yeah and I wanted to come on and make sure everybody knew that they got theirs before they run out yeah limited time offer. If you thought hotcakes were flying by, my special is...

I don't think the expression is hotcakes flying by. No, I know, but... They fly off... The shelves? Yeah, wait, that doesn't make any sense. They sell. They sell. Yeah.

They sell. They don't fly. Before we get any deeper, people can find that at the standup comedians.com yes and uh um okay you'll see my face you'll see your face yeah and you would just go and it's five dollars five earth dollars yeah yeah five canadian dollars so it's a bargain in other countries yeah say that you're living in eng. That's like three and a quarter, I think? Yeah. You might even call it quid.

Yeah, three and a quarter quids. 325 quids. And if you buy it during the month of July, I am donating all of the money that I get from it to my friend who has got lymphoma. So no pressure, guys.

Yeah. Talk. Yeah. Now, that's a thing. You have been organizing a bunch of fundraising efforts because your friend is coming back into the country and there's like a waiting period before your Canadian health care kicks back in, if you've lived out of the country or whatever. Right. And one of the things, one of the fundraising things is I'm going to sell one of them beard paintings online.

I'm going to put it up on Monday. Okay. Yeah. And all the proceeds from that will go to her friend. Beardpaintings.com? Yep. friend. Beardpaintings.com? Yep. Okay. Beardpaintings.com.

It's a painting of a robot that looks like Hulk Hogan. Oh. Pretty good. This really feels like we're going to do something this month. Okay. So we got all that out of the way. Now, let's get to know that. Okay.

To know yes. Yes. Now, we were talking about going to a nail salon just before the show started. Which we, Graham and I, did not. We didn't. No. But I'm thinking about it. Have you ever been tempted to get a manicure?

I have had a pedicure before. Yeah. It was weird. I did not like it. Really? Yeah. I'm not big on anything in that genre.

Massages. Anything where there's a professional person touching you. Trying on shoes. I'm uncomfortable with that. Sure. Getting fitted for anything. Haircut. Who carts you? Harnesses.

Do you go frequently in or is there just like a summer thing because you know you're going to be showing off your toes to pervs it's mostly summer it really depends on my financial state really

because I don't get my nails done a lot because they chip very easily and I'm not one of those girls that is always super put together. Stop it. I mean wrong. Dave was with me.

He's like, why are you even saying this out loud? We all know that. We can hear it in your voice. Your hair isn't even dry. You just French braided it and came over. Did you French braid it for Bastille Day? No. Oh, okay.

Now, yeah, we're recording on Bastille Day. Yeah, we got mad Bastilles. That is the celebration of the first film by a French actor. Gerard Desbordiers? Yes, correct. Was he my father father the Bastille? What Bastille is a French Revolution? Yeah, it was the like

a prison. They stormed the Bastille and they let out all the prisoners who I guess had been unfairly imprisoned by the king? I don't know. Or maybe they were just real prisoners. Maybe they were murderers. Every year in France, they let everybody

in prison every day. On Bastille Day. It is the worst and most dangerous parade ever. Yeah. Everybody is on the honor system. Yeah. They have a death race. It's like the running of the bulls. Much more violent.

So, yeah, we don't know what Bastille Day is. I think it's just like the day they celebrate the French Revolution. Yeah, it's their 4th of July. They celebrate by not showering. Too soon! It's well known.

Now, is there some practical reason why there is the reputation that the French don't shower outside of the fact that people have encountered French people that don't shower? Or do they not have a lot of water there? Or is it a perfume-based culture? It might be a perfume-based culture, but it's also they don't shower. Really? What, do they bathe? Or do they just perfume? Nothing. They don't do anything Really? What do they bathe? Or do they just perfume? Nothing. They don't do anything.

Dog urine. It seems like that would be harder to come by than water. It's not. It's a country where they don't pick up after their animals. They don't fix their animals. Oh, right. So it's a dog testicle culture.

And, yeah, they just, it's a beautiful place. Yeah. City of lights. But I think that's a thing in Europe in general. Like, I think France is unfairly. Yeah, because they didn't have the infrastructure of plumbing. Like, anytime we've been in Europe, if you have a whole family on vacation in a house, the first two people will get a hot shower, and then everybody else, you either just don't

shower, or you shower in freezing cold water. Oh, yeah. Like, it took us, like, hours and hours even to do laundry. Like, I don't know how Europe is surviving. If they're not. If they're not, yeah. Things are not going well because they blew all that money on not hot water yeah where did all their money go oh uh cigarettes that's true they spend most of their money on cigarettes and romance

very expensive yeah and midday naps oh that know that? I was talking to somebody who's from Italy, and that's still a big part of the culture there. At 1 o'clock, lots of people close up. Nap, open up again at like 5 o'clock. Yeah, it's a beautiful, beautiful thing. Yeah, I wish I could speak Italian. Or do something that Italy needs. Nap.

No, they don't need that. Spain does it. Spain does it as well. It's annoying when you're on vacation. They call it a fiesta. Andele, andele. I think you might be thinking of siesta. Oh, siesta.

Oh, okay. They call it a shasta. But it's annoying when you're visiting that country because you're trying to do stuff and everybody's like, well, goodbye. Yeah. But when you're on vacation, you sleep till like 10 or 11 in the morning. Yeah.

You have that panicky moment where you're like, we only have half an hour to get something to eat before everyone takes a big sausage nap. I'm so full. Is it the big lunches that causes it? Yeah, they start eating at 10.

They eat clear through, 10 to 1. Yeah. Have a big meat nap. Then get up at, they open the doors again at 5 o'clock for exactly one hour, close at 6. Everything closed on Sundays as well. Yeah. Oh, right. Yeah.

What a great culture. That's probably why they've got one of the best economies in the world. Oh, right. Yeah. What a great culture. That's probably why they've got one of the best economies in the world. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because everybody's so relaxed all the time. Board meetings get more done. Every day is casual Friday. It's really like the dot-com boom in the 90s. Everyone's got a cool office with a pop machine

and a foosball table. But they actually call foosball soccer. Table soccer. So, outside of siesting, et cetera, what's going on with you?

What's new? What's happening with Erica Sigurdsson? Oh, I am falling in love with my city all over again's going on with you? What's new? What's happening with Erica Sigurdsson? Oh, I am falling in love with my city all over again. Oh, are you? Yeah. Oh, wow. It's exciting. I think I spent the first few months of 2012, if not the better half of 2011, spending way

too much in front of my computer. Yeah, so I've been going out and riding around the seawall and playing beach volleyball. Oh, you weren't sarcastic when you said you were falling in love with your city. Yeah. What do they call it, being a tourist in your own city? Yeah. Go and see the sights.

Yeah. Do all sorts of things. And then I'm working on all this fundraising stuff, and that's about it. I have very little comedy work booked for the summer. What is your favorite thing that you do in the city? Other than sex and the city. Well, that actually comes in at around number four. I'm not that good at it.

It's not as good as chocolate, am I right? Yeah. It's the most fun you could have with your clothes on. Yeah. Number one, the spa. Number two, nail salon. I'm really building up the anticipation to go see Magic Mike.

Okay. So, it's like a tantric thing. Like, I just will go and stare at the poster and then I'm going to go see it in a few weeks. And not have an orgasm. So, you haven't seen Magic Mike yet? I have not seen it. Oh, you gotta. Graham and I saw it. Yeah, opening day.

We went, we did cosplay. Magic Mike cosplay. Yeah, we bought one of those suits, those muscly suits that, like, Vonna wore. Yeah. And it was great. We were super popular. We took our pictures taken with a bunch of Magic Mike fans. Yeah, a lot of, you know, dumpy housewives. Yeah, we signed some people's copies of Fifty Shades of Grey.

It's a real revolution of, I guess, pervy women. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Ladies are doing it for themselves. Get it? Do you think if you tried to hit on ladies as they came out of Magic Mike, like, how do you think that would go?

Really poorly, unless you were a muscly guy, right? Because that's all it is. It's supposed to be actually quite good, the movie, right? Like, it's supposed to actually... I don't think it's supposed to. No, like, the reviews have been like, it's a good... It's not like Showgirls. Right, right. Okay, yeah, yeahs right right okay yeah actually uh you know but yeah is has there been anything like i'm trying like is there a male equivalent like that's what i'm trying is there something we can

watch shamelessly that uh what's on strip what was that one with demi more that was terrible yeah that was terrible as well and that but that that, it's like sort of there's a stigma attached to it. I guess there is a stigma with Magic Mike as well. Yeah. But it's fun. Yeah. Like when women go and do that, everybody's like, look at him owning their sexuality. And when guys do it, they're like, what a bunch of losers.

Yeah, yeah. Have some respect for women, guys. Come on. They're not just pieces of meat like Matthew McConaughey. It doesn't feel like Matthew McConaughey kind of, I don't know, like it feels like he had to do that movie because that's kind of what he is. He looks good for a guy who's got three kids. But do you think, I don't know, he seems out of place in the cast for some reason.

Apparently the movie only cost like five million dollars to make so he must be made like he must have like a producer credit on it because i don't think he charges that little yeah he was given uh executive ab producer that can't be true you can't make a hollywood movie for five million dollars apparently five or i saw seven one place and five in another place really yeah well i mean if if the whole like there's no special effects it's all just dudes stripping so that's probably cheap to fill your craft service budget would be pretty low no carbs nobody wants just a bunch of you could grow it all guys, go out and graze in the garden. Yeah. Have another four-egg milkshake. Yeah.

Like, you're probably mostly just dealing with, like, Hawaiian body oil. Yeah. Hawaiian tropic. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, yeah, what you save in craft services, you end up losing in the oil boy costs. Because they found, they just filmed it in an abandoned male strip club because those don't boy. Yeah. Cause they found, they just, uh, filmed it in an abandoned male strip club. Cause those don't exist.

Yeah. Oh, I, I read in the Georgia straight that there is a male, like a male strip club opening here in Vancouver. That's disgusting. There was an ad in the, in the,

uh, the whatever classifieds. How long do you think it'll last? Personally, I will last 30 seconds. I don't know. What if Magic Mike is like, you know, it's like the Saturday Night Fever of its generation.

It starts a whole chain of strip clubs or that becomes a thing? It won't, though, because A, women are not, like, most women that are going to see that movie i mean women of all ages but they're married and have kids and like going to magic mike is like a oh look at us we're doing something crazy yeah they're not going to go out every night to a strip club and also women nobody should be going out every night like men do like all men do no but like i put in eight hours at work three hours at the strip club

i'm exhausted by the time i go to the porno store okay women will not go to a club where there is zero possibility of someone buying them a drink right that's true um uh yeah i guess it could only be like bachelorette parties and how many of those are there yeah wow well according to every comedy club i worked in for a weekend yeah but wouldn't it be like a club like that you would be able to have like bachelorette parties and stuff on the weekends and then the rest of the time wouldn't it be like gay dudes would be watching the strip show that that would be my financial plan. That's why I'm a financial planner.

You bring to me your half-cocked strip club idea. That's the name of it. Half-cocked. What? I guarantee you that's the name of a male strip club. But I don't get what the double entendre is. It's the half. what the double entendre is the half or the half on it's people who have been in horrible farming

it's men who are slightly aroused um yeah no it's i just wonder because sometimes like know, like a movie will set off a craze, right? Yeah. So, like, I wonder if there will be just, like, a club will have, like, a Magic Mike evening. An evening with Magic Mike. Would you, have you, what movie crazes have you caught on to? Like, after The Karate Kid, did you ever take up karate, or was there ever any activity that was awakened by a movie? I tried to go back in time to get my parents together after Back to the Future.

But in a better way. Yeah. So he could write science fiction novels. I wanted to live in a house with some glass brick in it. I wanted to, I joined and then quit the the um craze during the movie when when million dollar baby came out and i was like i'm gonna take up boxing and then by the time she had bitten off her tongue i was like oh no i i i am not yeah you leave the theater halfway through to go sign up for buck hey do you know how that movie ended?

Yeah, I think, because wasn't there, there was like a huge spike in enrollment after, was Billy Elliot, the dancing movie? Oh, yeah. Like these young boys signed up for dancing classes. Well, last year wasn't there a movie, it was called Act of Valor, and it was a war movie that had real life. It didn't have any actors in it. It was probably another $5 million movie. Oh, yeah. It was all Navy SEALs.

All Navy SEALs or, yeah, active duty soldiers. And that is just like, that movie just exists to get people psyched about joining the Army. Yeah. Oh, yeah. And, I mean, you barely need to get psyched. I know, right? It's already so psyching. Yeah, I don't...

I'm trying to think of a... I mean, like a movie that actually made me... I feel like every time I watch a movie about boxing, I do feel like, ugh, I'd really like to be able to box. Yeah, and I think, like, when CSI came out, a lot of people sort of got into forensics and then were disappointed by how boring it is. Yeah, well, when I rented a storage locker a couple months ago, I asked the guy who owns the place, like, do people come in here because of...

Or I asked him, do you watch Storage Wars? And he just rolled his eyes like, don't ask me about that. I don't go home and watch about storage after being here all day in storage. But isn't that always the way, like, people that come up to us and go, oh, do you watch that last comic stand? And I'm like, no. And, like, my brother-in-law is a chef. And so everybody's always like, well, you must watch.

It's like, no, I do this all day. I don't want to go home and watch it. Yeah no i do this all day yeah i don't want to go home and watch it yeah see how this guy cuts a radish yeah um yeah i i it's uh it's weird though because he said when that show first came out the phone was ringing off the hook with people saying like oh do you do that yeah and he said yeah i guess but you know when someone calls and asks if you do that the only appropriate answer is yeah pretty good um but he like i said is there ever any good stuff and he's like never like it's all you know dishes dirty mattresses i don't know why they're dirty any mattress that you didn't buy new is dirty. It's dirty. Yeah. Disgusting.

I think if somebody can figure out a way to turn a mattress into something that somebody wants to buy, I don't know how, they could make a fortune. Because people just throw those things away. Like, you could have all the free mattresses. I don't know what you could turn a mattress into. But do you know what I mean? Yeah, like a tennis court. Yeah, know what I mean? Like a tennis court. Or like insulation or something. They're everywhere.

At the end of the month. Bed bug habit trails. Like ant farms, but bed bug farms when you shout at the kids. Yeah. Instead of sand, they just have stuff in. Gross. Whenever I hear that Sleep Country of Canada advertisement.

Why buy a mattress anywhere else? Why? And it says, we're having a huge sale. We've got a stack of mattresses as high as Grouse Mountain. And in my head, I'm always like, Jesus. Like, oh, what are we doing to the earth? Because, like, and you're supposed to buy a mattress every, what, five? I don't know.

I've never heard this. Jay and I have had the same mattress. Like, his parents bought us a bed, and that will be our bed probably until there's a fire. This summer. We've had the same mattress for a long time as well and it's killing us do you flip it uh uh sometimes oh how often like every six months every dentist appointment no she means like do you redecorate and sell it yeah we flip the mattress um uh but yeah and they're always advertising like uh if you don't mind this flaw in the mattress.

Like, mismatched mattress sets. I know. I'm like, why do I care if it's matched? Yeah. Like, I wouldn't even notice. Yeah. I wouldn't either. It's...

That is weird. Like, what kind of person comes... I just want the box spring. And here's our guest room. And then you walk in and you're like, what the fuck? You tear the sheets off. What the... This box spring doesn't match. The princess and the fuck? You tear the sheets off. What the?

This box doesn't match. The princess and the pea with the mismatched mattresses. This is blue flowers. This is pink flowers. Get my coat. We're leaving. Yeah, because in the neighborhood I'm living in now, I'm very close to a thrift store and at the end

of the month, that just becomes mattress depository. Everybody just drops their mattresses there. I don't know. I feel like it's a gold mine. Right. It's a resource we have that we haven't been able to harness the energy. Yeah. You can find me a car that runs on mattresses.

We do. It runs off of the stink of old mattresses. Did I tell you when Alison Smith, very funny comedian. Former guest. Former guest. And also my former next door neighbor. Her and Jen Grant, also a very funny comedian, were moving out. And so Alison had put their beds or her bedspring and mattress on Craigslist for free. So I came home and she goes, well, somebody came for the mattress and he's coming back for the box spring.

And I was like, what? And she's like, well, he didn't have a car. And I said, well, how did he take it? And she said, well, he was on rollerblades. And I was like, what? And I'm like, he's never coming back for the box spring and now you have a like you or he never left with the mattress yeah he's just down in the lobby sleeping in the basement and because a box spring alone is very difficult to get rid of like yeah so then and i

just that's why we have all these mismatched sets i just picture some guy with a mattress on his back on rollerblades um going across the bridge blading away from her house as she optimistically thinks i wonder when he's coming back for the box spring he's using the mattress as a sail oh and that uh that box spring sat in Jay in my apartment because she moved out and this stupid box spring she still had it sat in our apartment for about a month until I think him and

his friend cut it up into little pieces and scattered it in Stanley Park in like a pig farm in those street garbage cans one piece like two like in a shawshank redemption just slowly dispose of the box right through your pants yeah at the local starbucks yeah you just leave a spring in the bathroom we uh uh the we the couch that we used to have guests sit on during the podcast uh was a white leather couch.

And then eventually we got rid of it and we were like, what do we do with it? But everything in this neighborhood, you just leave it outside. Someone will take it. Yeah. And so we left this couch as we were leaving the house to take the dog for a walk. And apparently while we were out, a guy got really excited about it but didn't know how he was gonna get back to his place um our neighbor told us like oh this guy came by he really wants the couch and uh um we put free on it or whatever and he came back half an hour later with uh a

wheelbarrow and was just balancing the couch on the wheelbarrow. I would like to see one of those posters like, guy with rollerblades, will move anything. Yeah. Wow. So Dave, what's going on with you? While you're falling in love with your city, I am...

People in Vancouver are notoriously not unfriendly, but just not friendly. Right. Like, just keep to themselves. Yeah, they're not actively unfriendly. Yeah, you don't make eye contact with strangers. You don't say hello to someone while you're down the street. They have a real Erica quality about them.

Yeah. We call it the city of a million Ericas. of a million Ericas. But sometimes... And I think part of the reason is that the homeless here are very forward. Yes. And they will... Half the people who will talk to you in the course of the day

are homeless people. That's true. I was downtown the other day, and a woman says, Oh, excuse me, can you help me? And I get my hackles up because this usually is like an in for them. She's in labor. Yeah. No, sorry, lady.

I just need somebody to breathe coach with me. Yeah. Is it? And it was a woman and she looked very nice. She looked like a tourist in her 40s, big smile, clean clothes, didn't look homeless or anything. I would have, if I was going to guess, I would say she was a high school music teacher. And she said, can you help me? And I was like, okay, i like helping tourists i know where

things are she said i really want a cup of coffee but i don't have any money so what was i supposed to do um she just really wanted one yeah i guess it's not like a guy i'm trying to i'm saving up for a bus ticket yeah that's somebody uh i think it was Ben Mills I was talking to. He said, because he's traveled to all cities all over Canada, and he says in a lot of cities the guys are asking for change to buy a ticket. To Vancouver. Yeah. But in Vancouver he says it's not uncommon at all to have a homeless guy ask you for money to get a coffee.

in Vancouver, he says it's not uncommon at all to have a homeless guy ask you for money to get a coffee. So he just said, like, the fundamental shift in what the homeless priorities as you go westward. I just want a coffee. I just want to hang out. But I'm pretty sure this wasn't a homeless person.

But I guess technically she was panhandling. Yeah. She handled some of my pants. If you... Yeah, like, I i wonder because i've been in the position a couple of times of having to like ask people on the street if they could make change and that is insane like people it's a like it is a cold world once you are asking anybody for anything. It's true. Like, just the difference of the word spare. Because if you say, like, excuse me, do you have change?

And you're holding a $5 bill. Do you have spare change? Like, I felt like I had to approach them like $5 bill first. Like, this is, I have this. And I'll even cut a discount if you only have four dollars i just need change to get on the bus because that's weird thing that bus driver like you try and like just take the five you know well i can't it doesn't fit in anything yeah i'm like well just pocket it and look the other way dude yeah do not get what i'm

doing here i'm offering you five dollars, shake his hand with the money. Fold it up. Hey, you're doing a great job. Get me a nice table at the front. Yeah. Can I get it? I actually, this morning, when I stopped at Starbucks on my way here, got out of my car and someone said,

Miss, and I turned and he said, Could you buy me breakfast at McDonald's? And it was such a, like, no spare change and he said, could you buy me breakfast at McDonald's? And it was such a, like, no spare it was a whole breakfast. I was like, I do not think so. They stopped serving it in two minutes, Miss, please.

And they are very strict about that. Yeah, it's the opening line that because if it's just, can you spare some change, then it's easy to ignore it. But if it's, excuse me, can you help me? Or miss. Yeah.

You probably thought, oh, the next line out of his mouth was going to be, you dropped something. Yeah. Now, what did you end up saying? I really like your braids. They don't still look wet. What did I end up saying? Yeah. Oh, no.

Go compose an opus, Mrs. Holland. Yeah. What are you, crazy? I have bought people things. What are you, crazy? Rude. I donate to a tourist organization to help the tourists. Yeah.

I will donate or buy a tourist shelter aka hotel yeah i donate to the ramada um like if somebody is short of money like there's a little old man at the tinseltown theater who was trying to get in and they don't do seniors pricing anymore and he only had $5 and the girl was being really bitchy to him and she was like, no! And he was like,

he had a cane, he could barely walk so I was like, I was like, I'll just pay for his ticket. One for Magic Mike. Yes! Yeah, that was awkward

and then we went together and no. Yeah, it's because, yeah, he asked her, what movie has the most tits? Can you also buy me a popcorn and cut a hole in the bottom? Gross.

But you helped an old guy out? I did help an old guy out and he got to see the movie. That's pretty good. What movie was it? I don't know. This was like nine months ago. Okay. That's my most recent good deed. Oh, wow.

What are you, crazy? That's a funny way to respond to something. What's the matter with you? Did I talk about the podcast that I've had this happen to me more than once where somebody has asked me for directions and I've given them directions and then i've seen them across the street asking somebody else yes the story stand up uh yeah it really feels bad like yeah because uh it's like they thought initially that i would be a good bet but then after hearing me speak

and like but do you think it's that other person over her? Because I've had this where I'll be giving someone instructions and I can notice somebody behind me. Usually a dude behind me is like desperately trying to interject because he thinks he's got better directions. So he pulls them over afterwards. That's happened to me before. Yeah. Oh, I've never had that. Yeah. Oh, I've never had that specific... Last night I had a weird thing.

I was walking home from the club, and a lady asked where Pacific Drive was. She asked me, and there were two ladies in front of me that said, it's over there. They pointed in the completely wrong direction. I was like, no, it's there. And then the lady turned back and said, it wraps around the city.

And I was like, no, it doesn't. They didn't ask you, first of all. Doesn't it sort of wrap around the city a little bit? It does, but I said... Was it Pacific Boulevard or Pacific... Well, but she was on Burrard, so it was only a couple blocks away from where she was. These ladies were asking her to go clear across the city to get to the same road. Don't listen to this guy that you asked. We know

the more complicated way. Anyways. Anyway, women, am I right? Tourists, they're the worst. Graham, how was things with you? Pretty okay. Speaking of, like, the city's

dense homeless population, I saw the other night something... That's not very nice to say about them. speaking of like the city's dense homeless population I saw the other night something that's not very nice to say about them what are you dense? I saw something

I've never seen before and I'm not sure almost did a spit take there what do you think Graham never saw before? I did as soon as he said that I wanted to say boobies Well done

Because I'm four I saw naked ladies You guys are great I saw Just the very tail end of Somebody had Locked their bike to Like a parking sign And I saw just the tail end of somebody had locked their bike to like a parking sign and I saw just the tail end

of a homeless dude ripping the parking sign out of the ground to steal the bike nice and I yelled at him and he like in a flash was gone I was like that's not your bike and And he yelled back, it is. Oh, he did? Yeah. He said, yes, it is! This is just how I do things. Yeah. And then he took off down the street. It was, uh... But he literally lifted

the sign out of the ground and then just threw it into the middle of the street and hopped on the bike. Oh, he got the bike? Yes. Oh, man. Yeah.

He took off on the bike so quickly. I didn't know that was so easy to rip a sign out of the ground. I think it's only held in with a single bolt. Have you ever had a bike stolen? Yep. Yes.

Pretty demoralizing, especially if that was your way of getting home. You're like, ugh, this really... Because usually you're on a bike because you can't afford another thing, and then the bike is gone, and then you're walking, I guess. Yeah, I don't know. It's bound to happen. If you have a bike, it's eventually going to get stolen. If something gets stolen from the bike is the thing, because now you've got to carry the bike that doesn't have all the parts on it.

Yeah, you've got to carry a wheel. Yeah. You, have you ever had a bike stolen? When I was a little kid yeah um probably tore you up yeah but it was so i left it out in the carport and someone just walked by and took it wasn't locked i i was like 10 and nothing bad had ever happened to me in my life and then there was a kid up the street who had stolen money from a bunch of kids' parents' purses and bought himself a bunch of stuff. And when I say parents' purses, I mean mom's purses.

It was a different time. I think he maybe stole something from my mom's purse. Well, anyway, he stole something from my neighbor's purse. And we caught him up the street later because he had bought a bunch of stuff with all this money he stole. And then that had happened like six months before my bike was stolen. So every day I went by and said, hey, did you steal my bike? Are you the guy who stole my bike? You've stolen before.

Yeah, you fit the profile of a bike thief. You're the only thief I know. So, yeah, that was crazy. And then I had another interaction with a panhandler. And this was really weird, how quickly this devolved, because it was a lady in front of the pizza place. I was getting a slice of pizza. Yummy. And I walked out, and that was the first thing she said.

And she said, oh, that pizza looks really good. And I said, oh, do you want the other slice? Like, that is a completely... And then she said, go fuck yourself. And I was like, what? And so I said, you go fuck yourself. And then I walked away. Like, I got on a fight with this.

Well, that's what you're supposed to say to someone. Oh, fair enough. You go fuck yourself. And then I felt really, I don't know, I was walking away and I was like, oh, man, like I got in a fight with a panhandler. Like, she was really rough looking. And I felt really bad about it. Then I saw her at the train station again.

And I gave her $5 and said, even though you told me to go fuck myself. Wow. Right? And I'm pretty sure she didn't know who I was. She was like, thanks. So you're saying women won't go to a bar where people won't buy them a drink. Would you go to a bar where people will buy you a slice of pizza? 100%, yes.

It's called Go Fuck Yourselves. Mystic Go Fuck Yourselves. But yeah, it was really crazy. It just turned ugly so quick. Oh, I want to be the male stripper who just whips pizza out at the ladies. Yeah, that seems like... That is... Not like a slice, because that could get you in the eye.

But like pizza bagels? No, it should be a slice, but you've rounded off the corners. Here comes Mario. That's my character. Yeah, I'm wearing the Super Mario outfit cause you know how he ate pizza he was a teenage mutant ninja plumber with no shirt

underneath are you kidding me that would be the most popular strip tease of the night Super Mario themed fun guys let's open a strip club yep we've done it uh what we're gonna call it half cocked yeah or go fuck yourselves well uh let's uh let's move on to some business don't get carried away you gotta do the things you don't wanna do To get through the day You gotta shine your shoes You gotta sweep the floor

You gotta clean your house You gotta do some more Take care of beers in the house That music, of course, means it is time for some business this week. Our sponsor is IFC. Comedy Bang Bang. Every Friday night at 10 on IFC. You know what this is. this is the absurd comedy show

based on the award-winning podcast award is it well it's not an award losing podcast it's true um this week's guest is ed helms uh he's going to show off his banjo and animal noise making skills and uh there's also special guests owen burke suzs, Seth Morris Jimmy Pardo and Harris Whittles that's a good lineup, that is a solid chunk of comedy. Some bangles, some Bob Duca. Fun! Tune in to IFC this Friday at 10 o'clock, Comedy Bang Bang, comedy

so nice that you banged it twice also this week we want to let you know that there is a new show in the Max Fun lineup, it is called The Memory Palace and it We want to let you know that there is a new show in the MaxFun lineup. It is called The Memory Palace. And it is... Now, describe what it is.

It's short. It's short sort of history stories. And when I say short, I mean 10 minutes or under. Right. You could fit in 11 or so of this podcast in the time you had listened to one of these. Yeah, it's really more bang for your buck. Sure. It's called The Memory Palace.

It's, if anything, beautiful. It's a beautiful thing to listen to. Really? It's these nice personal stories of sort of like personal accounts of huge historical events from what I've listened to it so far. And it's well worth your time.

I haven't had a chance, but I'm so excited because the gentleman recorded like a special episode zero of it as an entry level into it. Yeah, it's been around. It's been around. It's got 45 episodes. And then he just released one episode for the new listener of some of the best of. So check it out. It's called The Memory Palace, and it is after this episode that just came out.

I believe it's a monthly podcast. Fantastic. Maximum Fun. Growing by leaps and bounds. Absolutely. Let's move on to Overheard. Overheard. Okay, Overheard. Overheard. Okay, Overheard. That was draining for you. A segment in which you go out on the street. Graham, shut up.

It's time for my favorite segment on the show. A segment that used to be called Celebrity Birthdays, then was Celebrity Breath Days, then Celebrity Barf days, and then I opened it up to the listener. Celebrity blank days. Whatever you want the celebrity blank day to be. Let me know your suggestions. People have been emailing. People have been posting it. I've got a suggestion, but you don't want to hear it. People have been posting them on the MaxFun forums or tweeting me.

That's probably the best way to do it, because then Graham won't see it. No, that's not true. I will see it, and I will see if it matches the one that I have in my head, which is great. Okay, well, there's a long lineup of great suggestions already, and this week it's Celebrity Bark Days. Okay. In which I tell you the celebrity birthdays for July 17th, and you tell me the dog these celebrities most closely resemble. I thought it was going to be the tree. Ooh, next week it'll be Celebrity Bark Days Tree Edition. So you say the celebrity, we say the dog that it most resembles.

Is that correct? It. They. Now, celebrities are the celebrity, we say the dog that it most resembles. Is that correct? It. They. Now, celebrities are an it, right? That's true. Personality-wise or looks-wise? Well, it's up to you. Ooh, this is really quite a nail-biter.

There are no wrong answers. So, big happy Celebrity Bark Day this July 17th. Jay, shut up! Happy Celebrity Bark Day this July 17th. Dave, shut up! It's time for my favorite segment, a little thing called Hulk Hogan News. It's Hulk Hogan News. It's Hulk Hogan News. It's Hulk Hogan News.

It's Hulk Hogan News, brother. Dave, this may be next to the one time that Hulk Hogan specifically responded to one of my tweets, one of the most exciting pieces of Hulk Hogan News, to come along. It that Hulk Hogan specifically responded to one of my tweets one of the most exciting pieces of Hulk Hogan news to come along it's a Hulk Hogan news? this is so exciting I just found this out last night this is big

this is like I may have to take a holiday and go do this big like a Hulk groomage gotta go do a Hulk groomcroomage. Yeah. Gotta go do a Hulk-croomage. Hulk Hogan is set to open a retail shop on Clearwater Beach. Oh, good. As far away as possible.

Yep. In Florida. Yeah. The shop, located on the upper level of the Pelican Walk Plaza, near the Jolly Trolley offices. Oh, okay. So I know. Yeah.

Everyone knows where that is. It's near there. Type in Jolly Trolley offices on Oh, okay. So I know. Everyone knows where that is. Type in Jolly Trolley offices on Google Maps. It'll be right there. It'll be all good to see the street view. Just look for the red and yellow building. That's the Hulk Hogan store. Okay. It will sell new Hulk items, as well as

display some of his personal... Old mattresses. Old Hulk mattresses. What are you going to do when mattress mania goes wild? I guess you would go mild on it because you're sleeping. It's going to display some personal memorabilia. It should be open for business in approximately 10 days. Closed in 12.

I gotta go. I gotta go to this Hulk Hogan show. So they will have memorabilia on display but not for sale. The stuff for sale we can expect would be bandanas. Bandanas, rippable t-shirts, pre-ripped.

Leftover pasta from Hulk Hogan's Pasta Mania. With pasta shaped like muscles? Muscles. And his face with a mustache. Oh, yeah. Also probably some sort of mustache groomer. Like a Hogan-approved... His Hogan grill.

Right. The karaoke DVD. Yeah. Hulk into the oldies. Probably the morning after pill for fans of his daughter. Fans. She does have some fan base. What about approaching Hulk Hogan Inc.

about recording a podcast in the new shop? I'm cross-promotion here. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Oh, us recording a podcast. Oh, okay. I thought you meant him. He's got a lot of thoughts. Yeah, absolutely.

I mean, he's... I put him quite near the top of our dream guest list. Oh, okay. You? He would be huge. He's like 6'7 or something. Yeah. He would be a gigantic man to have in this room.

He would be sitting on this couch and you would be like... Elevated in the air. Like a seesaw. Yeah. Yeah, no, I guess I would have him. I mean, if he was offering. Dave, stop. You're creating a lot of tension here for no reason.

Look, if Hulk wants to apologize... Stop! Well, that is some very exciting Hulk news. Now it is time Well, that is some very exciting Hogan News. Now it is time for this week's Celebrity Bark Days. July 17th. July 17th.

Tuesday, July 17th. Happy Celebrity Bark Day to Trance DJ Darude. I think you lost me at trance. He's the one who has the song that goes... Sandstorm? Sandstorm. I don't know what he looks like.

Oh, European. Then he probably looks, my guess, is he looks like a dog that you put your headphones on and take a photo. So it looks like the dog is a DJ. Oh, I was going to say Labradoodle. Sure. Both acceptable? Happy birthday. How old is he?

Oh, he's 37. Oh, time passes when you're sandstorming. Happy 47th birthday to Bill from Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure, Alex Winter. Nice. Well, he definitely is the dog with the tight blonde curls. Oh, yeah. A Labradoodle. A Labradoodle, basically.

We're two for two Labradoodle-wise. Do you agree? Disagree? Well, I feel like my Labradoodle answer was stolen right out from under me because we can only name two kinds of dogs. Wait. No, I got another dog ready to go. Okay.

For what? Whatever, they're celebrities. I'm going to say, personality-wise, Jack Russell. Oh, yeah, full of energy. Yeah. A wild stallion. Yeah, being excellent. Happy 60th Celebrity Bark Day to actor and musician, singer, David Hasselhoff.

Oh. He looks like one of those. Now, he's a big fan of wiener dogs. But he doesn't look like one. No, that's true. He looks like a Great Dane or something, doesn't he? What about one of those Afghani dogs? You know, like those really.

Listeners can't see what I'm doing with my little paws. Little tiburonosaurus rex. Oh, these listeners can't see what I'm doing with my little paws. Little Tyrannosaurus Rex. I think he sort of reminds me a bit of a Labradoodle. Oh, you know what? Because of Baywatch, some sort of water dog. Sure, a Portuguese water dog. He's hypoallergenic. Yeah, absolutely.

Yeah. And he also eats a hamburger off the floor like a dog, right? In that one video? Oh, yeah. He's like a Weimaraner. A German water dog. Happy 65th birthday. Ooh, she can finally retire.

Camilla Parker Bowles. Oh. She looks like... I refuse to take part. This is just me now. I mean, I guess, yeah, she is. She's been compared to dogs many times. Yeah, but isn't she one of those dogs that has the white, flowy, Gandalf-y hair?

Oh, like a Saluki? Or an Afghan hound? Yeah. You are just ripping all my dog references right out of my hand. But she doesn't have long, flowy hair. She doesn't? No. Camilla Parker-Bowles, she's got sort of like a Labradittle thing going.

How does she fare in water? I think she looks like a bijon freeze all right i don't know what a bijon freeze is i neither do i but i like saying it that's what a uh a french policeman says when he points his gun at yikes i think it's freezing i was gonna gonna make a Some sort of ice cream joke Ben and Jerry's French Ice Cream It was a rejected catchphrase For Mr. Freeze Happy 77th Bark Day to Donald Sutherland

Bulldog No I think more of like a bloodhound Oh yeah bloodhound Totally because he's got a real houndy face. And happy... A really bloody face. I didn't even get to guess on that one.

Oh, yeah, yeah, go, go. You just moved in on my guess. I think a labradoodle. These aren't guesses, by the way. What is the correct answer? And happy 95th birthday to Comedienne Phyllis Dallaire. Oh, she, you know, no, I'm not going to say it. I thought of something very mean.

Old dog. Old dog. Yeah, like an old dog. He looks like one of those dogs that's a bow to be put to sleep on the vet's table. See? Mine was going to be that plus even meaner. Well, this has been Celebrity Bark Days. May God have mercy on your souls.

Okay, overheards. Moving along. Nothing to see here. Overheards. We like to start with a guest, Erica, as you know. Yes. You, when you originally said, when can I be back on the podcast, it was with the caveat that you had a great overheard. Yep.

And so I am very excited to turn it over to you. Okay. Well, in the three weeks that have passed, in my brain, this overheard has decreased in its greatness. Great. Great. I was out to lunch with what am i crazy um is that what you mean by out to lunch was it or no i that's very funny um i was having lunch with Paul Bro, one of the brains behind standupcomedians.com. And sat beside us was a young couple and they were, they looked a little bit more dressed up.

You know, they were kind of going somewhere or a first date or something. And we're talking and the guy suddenly just knocks full pint of beer over into the girl's lap. Whoa. And not, like, that happens, but usually the person jumps back and they get some beer on them. But this was, like, he did everything short of picking up the beer and throwing it in her face. Like, and she was wearing a nice dress, and it just, like, soaked her. And Paul and I both look over, and I was like, oh, God, there's nothing worse. And then she looks up and she goes, now I'm going to smell like beer at the funeral.

Oh, man. So that was a nice sad over. Were they dressed in black? The guy was in a black suit and she was just in a. A flowy summer dress for a funeral. Yeah. She was in a long black dress soaked with beer as grandma would have liked it yeah what do you do i guess you just go and you hope that uh you're just trying to pawn it off on the person sitting next to you i don't

think fresh beer fresh beer doesn't smell as, like, a beer that sat around overnight. Oh, like you mean, like, something that got beer on it and then sat around. Yeah. Yeah. Well, yeah. I think if the funeral is, like, in 20 minutes, you're fine. But they were eating lunch, so she's going to smell like Caesar salad and beer. Hopefully the Caesar salad dressing overwhelms the beer.

Yeah, if they show up smelling like Caesar salad and beer, it's going to be like, well, I'm glad you enjoyed your Boston pizza time. I assume you guys were eating lunch at Boston pizza. I bet the guy was like, oh, you ordered a Caesar salad? I guess you don't want to make out later after the funeral. Or at the funeral. Great overt.

Top drawer. Great work. Thank you. Dave, follow it. I will not. Do you know... I was in a London Drugs. And a London Drugs is a, it's a drugstore. It's everything you want in a drugstore.

It's got only stuff that's sold at London's Boots. No, it's like a drugstore, but it also has like an electronics department. Yep. As well as photo developing. Health and beauty. Health and beauty. Computers. Comput computers computers and you can buy insurance there yeah you can buy furniture they have furniture yeah they have like patio furniture 10% drugs 90% London yeah that's the equation I like going on holiday uh do you know what a cvs is a cvs is an american drug store that is um like they have a little bit of other stuff but not as much as london drugs and there was

an american family in the london drugs and they were they were tourists and i just heard one of them say oh man it's like a huge cvs i mean they got everything here check it out jams and jellies we only got one or the other has state law yeah specifically states the uh the jelly doctrine so they were very impressed but really it's like Drugs is like a Walmart that's tiny. Like that Elton John song, Tiny Walmart. My overheard comes courtesy of drunk people on the train. They're very generous. Yeah, you're right.

My cup overflowed. Um, it was two, uh, real, real party looking guys. One guy had an ACDC shirt on. I'm not convinced that the other guy didn't have a Metallica shirt on, which would make them like proto Beavis and Butthead. Yeah. I saw, I saw a couple of real burnouts the other day that reminded me exactly of the, uh, the cameraman from wayne's world

wow yeah yeah these guys were like that but with just shorter hair okay so uh they were talking about drug use and uh the one guy says uh you know you see those people on hastings and it's like why would you even try it once like why would you even try it once? Like, why would you even try it? And his friend goes, well, you gotta try it once. And then he goes, well, yeah. I've, yeah, that sounds terrifying. The idea of trying it once is like, oh. We're talking about Flintstone vitamins, right?

Yeah, they're talking about writing a resume um yeah uh you guys tried heroin uh oh you got it yeah it is on my bucket list yeah it's once too late to have your first uh dragon chase never never is the answer i think probably it's even better if you're like a really senior, advanced senior. Oh, because you haven't, because you've gone so long without it. Yeah, yeah. That it'll be like, yeah, there should be, there probably has been, but like one of those charming British comedies about an 80-year-old who tries heroin. Waking Ned Devine.

Isn't that, wasn't there a character like that in little miss sunshine wasn't the oh yeah the grandfather yeah but i don't think he had just tried it but he started doing like hardcore drugs in his really late okay maybe that's a lot of people talk about that they say like yeah we're gonna wait till i'm old and then start but i don't think your brain works that way i don't think you're like, I made it all the way to 80. Time to really wind down this clock. Don't you just keep trying to live longer? Yeah, and also you're like,

why am I not allowed around my grandkids anymore? Oh, I forgot to mention. The person who suggested Celebrity Bark Days, I forgot to mention. Oh, go on. The person who suggested Celebrity Bark Days, I forgot to mention their name. I don't know how to pronounce it. S-I-5-0-N. So thank you, Sci-Fiven. Yep.

Good. Now, we also have overheards that have been sent to us by listeners just like you. If you want to be one of those people, one of those people. Yeah, if you want to be just like you. Send us an overheard to StopPodcasterYourself at gmail.com. And the first one is from Andrew C. from right here, Vancouver, D.C. Oh, hey, welcome. I was listening to episode 217 with Nicole Passmore.

Great episode. A classic. Yeah. On the way to the YMCA through the West End, and I came across this. He's taking a photo. Not exactly sure what the intent is, but it made me laugh. It is a potato with the word iPhone written on it.

Pretty good. I think if you bring that into an Apple store, you can ask for an upgrade. It's the palm-to-tear Apple of the year. Oh, nice. Yeah, great work iPhone thing.

I'm assuming that was the entire thing? That was the entire thing. Next! iPhone potato. This next one comes to us from... Erica, just because Graham is reading these off of a phone doesn't mean you need to read your phone. I'm reading them, too. Okay, this is overheard.

It's from New York City. This is from somebody A.D. in New York City. This is from somebody AD in New York City. You guys making faces at each other. New York City, Union Square, environs. 1 a.m. ish. Two cute and dumb looking girls. Wait, it was one cute and one dumb? They're a real fun pair.

They were yell talking to each other. Girl one with strange enthusiasm. I thought she was deaf or autistic, but she's from New Zealand. Girl two, with even crazier enthusiasm. It's always like that. It's always something like New Zealand. That's true. Yeah, whenever you think somebody's got uh some condition yeah and uh jenny mccarthy

uh was big on not uh uh vaccinating your kids for fear of them becoming new zealand new zealand islanders um yeah what's a good age to diagnose someone as being from new zealand um i don't know it's really. You just look at their passport. That's true. That's the trick. Three, you think, is the right age? Three is the typical age, but doctors say if you can find out by about 12, 14 months, you can really help them.

If you show them Lord of the Rings and they really respond to it, that could be a... I don't think that's necessarily... Do New Zealanders, they don't seem like the sci-fi or fantasy type no it was filmed in new zealand i know that but like that's all that's all isn't that what new zealand's famous for yeah but like the people there i think are just like rugged people who beat up nerds beat up anyone who cares about the lord of the rings yeah it it was a risky venture for them to film the nerdiest film trilogy of all time. On the island of the two bullies.

I guess there are two islands of bullies. This last one comes from... One's cute and one's loud. Dumb. Oh, no! Down in flames. This last one comes from Rebecca C. Also right here in Vancouver. I enjoyed the shit out of this one.

I'm going to say it. At the bookstore where I work, a nice older woman phoned us looking for a replacement copy for a library book. She explained that she borrowed the book, then started worrying about bedbugs. So she put it in the microwave, figuring it would kill any bedbugs, but the book caught on fire. Oh. What's the book setting on this microwave?

Yeah, you just put it in the microwave and then get it out once the popping is two seconds between pops. You would put it in the microwave and then get it out once the popping is two seconds between pops. You would put it in the freezer would be a better solution. Yeah, absolutely. Just zap it for 30 seconds. Or shake it and the bedbugs will come out. Like they're not that tiny.

Or get a Kindle. If you're that worried about bedbugs. Can you get library books in a Kindle? No, but you know, worried about bed bugs. Can you get library books in a Kindle? No, but you know. Come on. Yes. Really? You can.

You can get downloaded library books. Really? Yeah. That seems like that's a huge flaw in the whole Kindle money making scheme. But they get money. Books get money when it gets sold to a library. I don't know how it works. Neither do I.

But they do. I feel like I'm out of my depth here. Oh, I thought libraries were just full of unsold books. Just like, oh, we couldn't get, we printed too many copies of this. This is the second or third time that I realized I have a book that I reserved, Tina Fey Bossy Pants, at the library. Forgot to pick it up, and they're charging me a dollar a day. And I realized that yesterday.

Still haven't gotten it. You could have bought several copies of the book by now yeah yeah i might own the i might i bought it because it took so long i forgot i ever reserved it and then and you've just been paying on an installment plan at what point did they stop charging you never hopefully three weeks ago no they just hold it forever. There's somebody who's had a book on hold there since the 60s. When I died, my estate, my kids were like, oh, we're going to get mom. Oh, no, it's all been confiscated. The Vancouver Public Library for Tina Fey bossy pants.

She's had it on reserve for 37 years. Now, in addition to overheards that are written in, we also accept overheards via telephone. If you guys have telephones, by all means, I encourage you to whip them out. Whip them out. Put them in the microwave. Put them in the microwave. Actually, Graham's about to go away, so we're going to be recording a bunch of episodes in a row. So if you send us an overheard in the next few days,

chances are very high that it will play. Yeah, this is it. If you've been sitting on one, now's the time. Stop sitting on it. Yeah. Our phone number is 206-339-8328. Hey, guys. This is Mitch in Missouri. I am just driving through mid-Missouri

and I saw a roadside billboard. It says, pornography destroys families. Then over the top of it, someone spray-painted, love to jerk it. Love to what? Jerk it. I'm assuming it was L-U-V and then the number two. Yeah. Now, why does pornography destroy families?

I can't imagine. The porn stars have very good relationships with their parents. Oh, I see. But I think that's probably... Porn is a symptom of bad families in that regard. Yeah, and I feel like... Is a billboard campaign the most effective way to reach out to

porn stars? Yeah, I guess maybe no one wants to walk in on their family members watching pornography. That's true. But that's the value of having private time. Families have together time and private time.

Alright everybody, private time. Get out your porn. Call the door slam. Family meeting. And followed by 45 minutes of private time. It's like study hall. You can catch up on your coursework. You don't have to watch pornography.

You can read privately to yourself. You don't have to watch pornography. You can read privately to yourself. You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here. 45 minutes. That seems about right. Yeah, sure. For a family. On Tuesdays it's game night. On Wednesdays it's private

night. Yeah, I mean I don't know how. I don't know. Now I want to learn more. About how to destroy families? Yeah. Via pornography. Yeah.

Well, we used to have, after dinner every night, we would have a 45-minute family Bible study. Really? Yeah. And then we would pray. And maybe it's like that, but exactly opposite. Right. And then we would pray. And maybe it's like that, but exactly opposite.

Right. Well, I think your times, I think there may have been a religious undertone to the sign. Yeah. And it's probably, you know what? You could be spending this time doing Bible study. What if it was brought to you by, like, NBC or something? Like, why not watch television instead? Yeah.

There's a new season actually i was summer season the last few years there have been some great summertime tv shows usually involving dropping stuff off a building yeah uh one last year was the year when they just dropped people off the building if they got answers wrong yeah and there was also a cedric the entertainer game show where it was like guess how much this thing is worth oh yeah and then they blew up the thing or something like that two years ago it was the one with the conveyor belt of all the stuff of all your prizes and if you don't answer the they just fall off the side of the yeah if you don't ask but there hasn't been a good uh building falling off uh it's early it's early days yet i just wonder i hope chris Jericho is around to host it.

Anyway, that's just what's bothering me. Next phone call. Hey guys, this is Dan from Brooklyn calling with an overseen from my old high school yearbook. It was one of those deals where you get a quote next to your picture. So people chose a variety of stupid Dr. Seuss quotes or dance like no one's watching or whatever. But there was one guy who I don't think quite understood the point of it. So he wrote his own quote that basically just said like, oh man, high school is tough, but I'm really glad I'm graduating.

So that was a little weird. But then because he said it, he didn't attribute it to anyone. So his quote in the yearbook is attributed to anonymous. Oh, man, high school was tough. Anonymous. Oh, man. I really like the quote. What's the thing I always say?

What's the quote I want to be remembered by? And then it's just, oh man, high school's tough. I really want to leave something for the future generations to rally around. And also, people who printed this yearbook couldn't even read my name underneath my picture. Well, they wouldn't naturally assume that he chose a quote of himself.

That would be funny, though, his name. Oh, man, high school was tough. Dante's Inferno. Oh, man. So good. And your final overheard of the week is this one. Hey, Dave and Graham.

This is Mitch in Missouri. I was calling in with another overheard. I was at work and we were listening to a 90s music station on Pandora, and some of my co-workers were talking about what their favorite 90s song was. And one of my co-workers are talking about what their favorite 90s song was. And one of my co-workers types in with, I think it probably has to be

that Salt-N-Pepa song, Poop-A-Doop. Poop-A-Doop? Poop-A-Doop. By Salt-N-Pepa. The classic. Poop-A-Doop. Poop-A-Doop classic I think it was Shoop Shoop yeah

it was not poop-a-doop I think it's poop-a-doop by salt and pepper I heard it once hi I want to request poop-a-doop I think we all teared up after that one

oh good oh good gravy well please that's a good poop-a-doop I think we all teared up after that one. Oh, good. Oh, good gravy. Well, please. That's a good poop-a-doop. Oh, that's an old boxing move. Yeah. The old poop-a-doop. The old C. Everett coop-a-doop.

So that brings us effectively to the end of the show. Very effectively. Now, Erica, we've plugged a bunch of stuff off the top. Yep. TheStandUpComedians.com. Yes. And where, if people want to find out about you're doing this fundraising for your friend, where do they go? Is there a central website?

Intelligence agency? Yeah. Is there? There is a central – the CIA is taking over fundraising. Covert fundraising. Well, they could go to TeamTheresaThompson.com. No, they can't go there. They could go to TeamTheresaThompson.wordpress.com.

Oh, okay. Is Teresa with an H or without an H? Well, this is the difficulty. Teresa is with an H. Thompson is with a, it's not Thompson. It's without a P. Okay. Is it also with an H, Thompson is with a, it's not Thompson, it's without a P. Is it also with an H, though? Yes. So, T-H-O-M-S-O-N.

Yep. Nice. Or, you know what, if you want to support the cause, just go to thestandupcomedians.com and buy Erica's special this month. There you go. Or Graham's beard painting. Yeah. Oh, yeah, that'll be, I will put a link in the Facebook group and Twitter to the eBay site. And, yeah, that'll be, I will put a link in the Facebook group and Twitter to the eBay site.

And, yeah, come on. I should offer to sell a print of it to this Hulk Hogan shop in Clearwater, Florida. Oh. Because it's a Hulk Hogan robot, this painting. Oh, right, right, right, I forgot that. It would fit right in with all the great stuff. I think I'd like to buy a keychain from there yeah probably yeah at the very least right yeah i think you could probably just get a keychain a hulk hogan

keychain on ebay this very second oh yeah hey not bad yeah i only got my afternoon really uh having trouble keeping your keys in in check um no but i mean they're just loose in a bowl i carry a bowl everywhere i just it's like it's like i just grab like a bowl. I carry a bowl everywhere. It's like I just grab a handful of M&M's and just throw them in my pocket. I hope I have the right piece. Not this one. Not this one. And also, people can go to ericasigurdson.com to find out where you're touring, etc. I've got all the links to all the stuff.

There you go. One-stop shopping. Stuff you didn't even care about, there's a link to. Poopadoop.com. Yeah, poopadoop.org. I bet we can get poopadoop.com. I think it's probably available. .net, maybe.

You don't think poopadoop's available? You want to put $5 on it? I think we should buy it and set up just a main page that just plays Shoop on a loop. Shoop-a-loop. Welcome to Shoop-a-loop at poopadoop.com. Poopadoop.com production. Well, this podcast just got silly. Dave, do you have anything you need to plug?

I don't believe I necessarily do. Go to cbcmusic.ca. I write some funny stuff there about music from time to time. And also, feel free to vote for us if you are a Canadian with a Canadian postal code. You have until the end of the month to vote for us in the Canadian Comedy Awards. That's at canadiancomedy.ca. It's very quick to register, and they won't send you any emails or anything. Just vote for us for best podcast.

We're not the kind of podcast that's going to tell you to vote for us in the other things that have podcasts. Yeah, absolutely. Competitions like some podcasts do. But this one I think this one would be fun. Yeah. In August, I'm part of

Victoria the Blue Bridge Comedy Festival. Are we doing your plugs now? Yeah. I'm not done. Oh, sorry. Oh boy, is my face red. No, I don't have anything else to plug. I would like to use the rest of my time to uh devote to um uh yeah geez uh part of a complete breakfast say things about the cereal does a body good uh-huh. Your turn. I also would like to, uh, promote cereal and milk. Oh, man.

Uh, I gotta, um, if you gotta have your pops, just have them. Yeah. Uh, uh, it ain't easy being cheesy. No, it's not a cereal. Cheesy cereal? Have you ever had Cheetos cereal? It's the one that turns your milk orange. Yeah.

Gross. The only dairy part of a cheesy cereal is the milk. In August. August 17th, I believe. Or August 16th. Yeah, August 16th. I'll be at the Blue Bridge Comedy Festival in Victoria, BC. So if you live there, or know people who do, or

are thinking about moving there, it'd be a great weekend to go check out the city. Yeah. Price some houses. Absolutely. See what kind of views you can get. See what the fun neighborhoods are. Yeah, absolutely. Take the ferry. Take the ferry. From America, right? You can go from

Port Angeles. Angeles. Washington. And Victoria is beautiful. That's a fun... That could be a real fun weekend. It could be a real romantic weekend. Thinking about proposing to your significant other? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do it at Graham's show.

Yeah, fun. Have him propose on your behalf. Oh, that would be fun. I'm open to that. If anybody ever wants me to help them with a proposal, I am on board. Well done. Yeah, absolutely. Outside the Jappa dog.

If you like hearing... Oh, yeah. If you like hearing... I saw somebody getting proposed to outside the Jappa dog. If you like hearing... Oh, yeah. If you like hearing... I saw somebody getting proposed to outside the Jappa dog. Oh, really? How'd that go? Did they win? I think.

It was a guy in a... And now the Jappa dog is a hot dog stand. Yeah. Oh, it wasn't the Jappa dog store. No, it was the stand. Where you can get the Jappa dog keychains. Yes. And the Jappa dog employees were holding a banner.

They said, will you marry me? And a guy in a tux was upset at me. She said yes to the Jappadog stamp. I will marry you. Well, maybe it was like the place where they had their first date. Even so. Do you think? I don't know. It's kind of cute.

If these people are listening, I apologize for my judgment. I think it's cute. Dave likes it. If it has significance in their relationship, sure. Well, hopefully it does or else it's just very strange. I said that it was probably kind of chancy

because she probably really wanted a hot dog. Yeah. And so this, you know, maybe there was no hot dog at the end. Oh, man. What if they gave her

a hot dog that had a ring on it? Like, over the wiener? Yeah. My fingers are not as big as a hot dog. What if they are? Would you marry someone with wiener fingers? They gave her, like, sparkly relish.

Instead of, like, the radish, it's just confetti. She's choking. Yeah, and they spell it, just confetti. She's choking. And they spell it, will you marry me in mustard? But she's like, I don't know what that is. Does that say William something? Now, Graham, you'll also be in London, England on July 27th. Is that not correct? That is correct.

July 27th at the Comedy Cafe. If you want to go to comedycafe.co.uk that's where you can buy tickets. And that's going to be a ring-a-ding-dong dandy, I'm pretty sure. Who knows? Somebody might fall in love that night. Go back a year from then. Propose at that same place. Yup. It's possible.

Sure. But yeah, check those things out. And also check out the blog recap At MaximumFun.org That Dave does each and every week Featuring photos and videos Relating to things brought up

In the course of this Podcast Yeah, London drugs Sure, maybe a picture of Phyllis Diller So people can Guess their own So people can pre their own birthday. So people can pre-mourn her.

Good job, guys. And like we said, check out the brand new addition to the Maximum Fun family, the Memory, not the Memory Palace, just Memory Palace. Yeah, the Memory Palace. Oh, the Memory Palace. If you search Memory Palace, it'll come up. Yeah, the Memory Palace. Oh, the Memory Palace. Yeah. If you put, if you search Memory Palace, it'll come up. Yeah, absolutely.

Absolutely. You guys, thanks for listening. If you like the show, tell your friends. And come on back next week for another episode of Stop Bugging Us.

See you soon. Thank you.