Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 228 - Steve Bays

Episode Date: July 31, 2012

Steve Bays of Hot Hot Heat and Fur Trade returns to talk about being backstage at a Nickelback concert, garbage, and a history of magic.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 228 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is our resident expert on bugs and orgies, Mr. Dave Shumka. Yeah, apparently when you see a big cloud of bugs outside, it's an orgy, a bug orgy or a bug orgy. Yeah, now where do they put their keys? They put them in a nest put their keys they put them in a nest yeah they put them

in a little hive um and our guest this week a uh returning guest third time returning oh yeah yeah yeah uh very uh funny man but not by trade he's a he's a musician man and a producer man by trade. And he's a favorite here at the podcast. Mr. Steve Bays is our guest. Favorite status. How do you like it? I bet the bumpers are like, I disagree. You know what? Top 40.

Top 200. Thanks for coming back on the show. I'm very excited. Well, you can hear it in the timber of your voice. Yeah, yeah. I'm very excited. Well, you can hear it in the timber of your voice. Yeah, yeah. Let's get rid of the NPR stuff. Yeah, let's do some real Zoo Crew

stuff. Let's set this up to K-Rock. Do you guys want to get to know ourselves? Yes, absolutely. Get to know ourselves. Now, Steve. Steve, hello. Now, Steve. Steve, hello. Hi.

Now, one of the things that I wanted to talk about, one of the reasons we had you back, not just because you're a favorite. Right. But I am a favorite. Absolutely. Sure. Hey, would I lie to you?

When I leave, you'll be like, edit that favorite part. Yeah, just edit out the whole intro. I don't want to be criticized for calling him a favorite let's just put our standard intro in i will say about the intro you mentioned i mentioned the bugs you mentioned the orgy you worked it into the intro absolutely 10 seconds later here we are i wonder if the bumpers wonder if that's like if all week you're like what am am I going to say?

How am I going to introduce Dave? Yeah, exactly. It's always on the fly. I like that. No pun intended. No pun intended, you guys. Now, a couple weeks ago, I was in downtown Vancouver. I was leaving work.

It was early. It was like five. You were skipping out early. Well, I was leaving on time. Sure. It was like five. You were skipping out early. Well, I was leaving on time.

Sure. And I noticed that the parking lot near where I work, which also happens to be near a big arena and stadium, was filling up with a certain type of person. A yahoo. Yeah. And I was like, in my mind, I'm like, well, what is going on? I was like, in my mind, I'm like, well, what is going on? Because whenever that happens, whenever there's like a type of person, any type of person, like a group of young girls, you're like, oh, there must be some kind of concert at the arena. Or an empowerment speech. Yeah.

Women in business talk. Beavers coming up. Yeah. Absolutely. is coming up yeah absolutely um uh but uh this time i saw that there was a uh a group of like uh people in wearing harley davidson jackets but not you know we're driving harley davidson yeah sure harley davidson lifestyle a brand new harley jacket yeah they're they're nice nice one. One of the ones with Tasmanian Devil on it? Yeah. Yeah. Ordered off of Amazon. Mm-hmm. And I thought to myself, oh, these guys look like a bunch of, you know, I didn't even want to say it in my head.

These guys look like a bunch of Nickelback fans. And it's just such a... Would you say there were a lot of beer koozies in that group? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. But it's like okay nickelback fans but what are they like nickelback fans is a kind of person but really what are they here to see what is the concert right and then i checked on my phone and it was literally a nickelback concert

and everything made sense and then i just uh i uh i didn't think about it i didn't think about it for a while and then later throughout the night I saw pictures that my friend Steve Bays was posting on the internet from backstage at the Nickelback concert. And so I want to know Steve Bays. I want to know everything about it. How did you get backstage? What was it like backstage? What is that subculture like? Well, I spent a while outside of the concert just

checking out drinking it in yeah just soaking it up um just kind of getting in the zone and i know a lot of people would have their own coolers that feels like something that would be mandatory people bringing coolers it was weird because it it's like they bring fans of that genre but they're people with money, I think. Yeah. Because I don't know anyone that can afford to go to concerts. You know what I mean? Like at an arena.

Yeah. That's crazy. Touche. When's the last time you went to a concert in an arena, Granum? That you saved up? I don't know how much it is. Like 80, 150 or something i think i went to see kanye west in like 2008 so it's been a while since i've been i don't think it's occurred

in my adult life i don't think i've gone and seen a so in a in a yeah yeah so i was just kind of curious so i just stood outside and there's like you know stretch suv limos with you know guys taking their dates out like it was like prom or something yeah yeah absolutely um were the ladies dressed in fancy dresses just like yeah everyone was like dressed up with like their most expensive gel and oh yeah absolutely leave the vo5 i do remember um after i got home i think i was by myself that night, so I went out to get myself something to eat at Fatburger, and there was a stretch SUV limo with a... You guys eat at Fatburger? With a... Fat man.

No, in the back, there was a hot tub. Yeah. No one was in it, but... How often do you think that gets cleaned? Why both? How do you detail a hot tub? When you take it into the car wash, do they know how to skim? Do they have skimmers?

I think you drain it first. Oh, I don't know. That seems like it'd be very expensive. Is there an underground hot tub cleaner that specializes in semen? Kind of like Harvey Keitel fromytel from pulp fiction like you call him like too many people ejaculated in this hot tub at the same time are they disposable is it like a you just fold it up throw it away yeah yeah the the uh rear of the uh suv just comes right off or it's like a canvas bag inside of the hot tub, and then you just lift it up. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Or, fourth option, they just never wash it. I think that's, to me, that's, I think if the only time they wash it is if somebody's, like, in Seoul or something, gets stuck in a jet. Yeah. Okay, we, there's a lot of skin in this one. Yeah, they have to do a test. It's like hot dog water at the end of the night. It's like, if you can see all the way to the bottom of it, then it's still good.

I think you can get a biodiesel old Volkswagen van that runs on old hot tub water. Okay, so you're outside. You're soaking it in. Soaking it in. Were any women already... yeah ready to show their boobs to people oh yeah for sure there was girls go crazy at those kind of things it's really weird i mean by girls i'm but yeah have you been watching those girls go crazy videos? It's literally girls going crazy. But yeah, and by girls, I mean older women.

Yeah, yeah. What do you think is the median age of a Nickelback concert goer? Are we talking like... Before I went, I thought it was going to be older. And then while watching the show, the thing that my friends and I were staring at the most was that the audience was quite young. Like early 20s young? Yeah. Really? Yeah, like tons of people that you would see on the street and think they would never go to a Nickelback show were there.

Do you think there were people who grew up listening to Nickelback via their parents listening to it you were conceived to this yeah like this is now because they've been around how long long enough for uh uh they've been around they were a local band they're from alberta but they became a thing in vancouver yeah um jimmy in the late 90s and then they really broke big in the early 2000s with the the uh chart topping hit this is how you remind me off of the platinum album silver side up so they uh it is it is feasible that there would be teenagers there that could have been conceived to an early also i was wondering if maybe uh the genre of music, like maybe the younger internet generation doesn't define themselves as much by the genre, you know? Oh, okay.

Like when I was growing up, it was like you had to be into a niche of a niche of a niche. Yeah, because you listen to this radio station that only plays this kind of music. Or you watch this show on much music. Or it's just part of your identity. You think they're just like, there's none of that anymore? Or you watch this show on much music. Or it's just part of your identity. You think they're just like, there's none of that anymore? I listen to a bit of this, a little bit of that, whatever. I knew a guy that was only into Croatian noise core. I'm only into...

Wait a minute. No, I swear to God. I swear to God. What is noise core? Just like, I don't know, like pedals and like swelling of feedback and just nonsense. It's got to be Croatian. Yeah. Hmm.

This sounds a little too Montenegrin. So you're soaking it up. You went into the concert. Yeah. Well, how did you get backstage? It was This is something you don't want to talk about Let's just say normally I would have made

20 bucks for what I had to do So you parked the car I was asked and I just said of course You were asked by whom? Their manager Said would you like to? Yes Would you rather? She was like yes sir their manager said would you like to? yes and who would they have?

yes sir I responded yes who was the opening act? my darkest days which which is quite popular for their song what's it called? strip? sex pool? sex? blood? which is quite popular for their song.

What's it called? Strip? Sex pool? Sex? Blood? It's something with the word sex in it. Blood punch? Sexual dancer. Healing.

Sexual dancer. That's it. Sexual dancer. There's no way it's not that. Darling, you are a sexual dancer. Thank you. We are My Darkest Days. Thanks, everybody.

This next song is about a dancer I met who's a little bit sexual. That's how they introduce it. Let's just say it got a little sexual. Two, three, four. And a five, six, seven, eight.

Yeah, it was a polka song. Wait, was Bush X on this tour? Bush X was on it. I didn't even know they were playing. Bush X is also known as Bush. Also known as Mrs. or Mr. Stefani also known as gavin rostale and three guys who used didn't used to be in bush oh really oh really i think so yeah see i was wondering that yeah they looked they looked too psyched and young oh really yeah okay that's fun i can't

believe i'm on stage with this guy um uh okay bush my darkest days a third uh my so-called life seether which which oh see there the baruch assault tribute act it seems like they've just arbitrarily chosen a theme and it's on the screens and in their costumes and stuff and what seether did yeah and how many costume changes does an opening act okay i don't well they they just had like the theme basically was songs that should have been sung by kurt cobain but presented with saw five as the visual oh yeah and it was like all but then there's like a pirates of the caribbean thrown in a bit they're uh cinephiles it's really weird. Yeah.

Are they the biggest? Were they the... Like, what's the order of popularity? Like, who went on first? My Darkest Days? My Darkest Days. Do kids still even know who Bush is? I don't know, but I think that it's the guy who was president. Which is crazy.

He looks beautiful. Yeah. He's got a daughter in her 20s i ate dinner when we went in he's old enough to be her father when we went in i i actually ate some of their um like backstage food or whatever in the the food room whatever you got bushes uh yeah uh well just it was like for all the bands okay and uh i sat him. Oh. What does he smell like? Didn't smell him, but he was extremely orange. Oh, okay.

It was really weird. Gwen Stefani likes creamsicles. What do you think the connection is? I was just like, it must be really hard to go on stage. But then he was lit with a green light primarily, so he just looked really tan. To give you that real pumpkin effect. Yeah, it was weird. It was weird. He was lit with a candle light primarily so he just looked really tan to give you that real pumpkin effect yeah it was weird he was lit with a candle inside his face so uh uh how much before the show are you there are you uh like are you hanging out backstage do

do yeah do people acknowledge you basically the whole day was dedicated towards just getting psyched. And you brought up... What's your psyching routine? I met my two friends that I went with. We met at the rompest room. And we had a couple beers. And then I said, why don't we go back to my car

and just listen to Nickelback and try to get in the zone. Because I have the whole catalog in my car um and one of what like my stance is that i don't you know when you like something ironically and then you kind of grow out of that and then you just if you're fascinated with it you're fascinated with it yeah you don't categorize it as ironic or serious i just kind of like i don't have guilty pleasures i don't i just if i want to see it't have guilty pleasures. I don't, I just, if I want to see it, I'll see it. And I don't really care anymore about judging it.

I think, yeah, like I was sort of curious. I think we, I glossed over that too much. Like your mindset going into this. I was just, it's. Because I mean, it's sort of assumed that everyone, you know, everyone who thinks they're smart doesn't like Nickelback. But do you have something like that, that was at one point what you would consider a guilty pleasure, and now you're a bit older, you're like, ah, it's just a pleasure. Like, I don't have to worry about the...

Do you have anything like that? I think guilty pleasures are dead, because, like, on Facebook, when you like something, there's no like, you can't like. There's no ironic like. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, like it just has the thumb but like a mustache on it. A Raleigh Fingers mustache. In quotes. Yeah, exactly.

I like this. Yeah, I don't know. I'm sure I do. Do you? I think I went from I think with The Barenaked Ladies when I was a kid I liked them liked them

And then I like secretly liked them And now I'm just fine with liking them again It's nerd It's nerd music I rocked out to Enid Yeah exactly That first album had a lot of Catchy tunes It's nerd music. I rocked out to Enid back in the day. Yeah, exactly. That first album had a lot of really catchy tunes.

It was good, yeah. But I feel like that was the tide with them that I was like, I've got to listen to this in secret. I wouldn't say Nickelback are a guilty pleasure because I don't actually actively listen to them. But they're kind of inescapable. don't actually actively listen to them. But they're kind of inescapable. Yeah, but I am fascinated

with anyone that reaches that many people and I'm kind of, you know. You wouldn't buy tickets to go see what's the comic that everyone makes fun of? Tony Danza. Garfield?

Yeah. You wouldn't go see Garfield live I would I would absolutely Garfield Just a giant lasagna comes on the screen And everybody goes crazy Okay

Throwing lasagna onto the ground Okay well Say if Family Circus came to town And someone was like Do you want tickets you'd be like absolutely yes uh yeah but like are they free that's what i would say yeah right right right um but uh but no i'm just like fascinated with it and uh the whole culture you know nickelback uh like and this is authentic i uh was was at the bank and they were playing it in the and i can't i literally cannot tell the difference between a nickelback song and another nickelback

song like they are they all they have been criticized for that specifically but i mean like authentically i can't like i'm like this could be their first big hit or something that just came out but there are um so many Nickelback sound-alikes. You've got your defaults. Your theories of a dead man. These are all Canadian Nickelback sound-alikes. But Creed was more of a Pearl Jam sound-alike. That's right.

But I have noticed lately that Nickelback has gotten a little more... I just remember their earlier stuff was a little more heartfelt. Right. And now it's a little more party boy. Yes, for sure. They have a song called You Look Better With Something In Your Mouth. Ooh, yeah. Something in that vein.

Yeah, you know what? Maybe that's about somebody that's about somebody that's like I like my it's Kojak you just triggered a possible overseen that I could use later

that this is great pertains to that so I'll yeah put that in the in your brain canal

do you think that Nickelback because they've now spent so many years on the road doing stadium tours and stuff that their first couple

albums were heartfelt because they were still like connected to the human experience and now literally their whole life is like a 24-7 orgy so that's all i can write well yeah i i know for a fact that the singer chad um i thought it was chas he is i think maybe maybe chas kruger um but uh i know for a fact that he does actually live that lifestyle like i've heard weird stories through the grapevine like he had a party and they wanted to uh take his dirt bike off the patio and go into the pool so they took a chainsaw and just chopped up his like the his own patio yeah just so that he could just dig drive his dirt bike off and that's cool well he is enjoying things unironically like like we would all be like oh that's awesome but on a certain level we're like that's terrible yeah right yeah right but that's like i think like uh there's never been a second that i didn't think he was

that guy yeah no he is actually that guy i think i mean i don't i don't know him although i did meet him okay yeah let's go yeah this is like you touch the hand that touched the chainsaw like an episode of lost where there's flashbacks, and then you're here, we're talking about the issues at hand. We're discussing whether Kate and Sawyer, can you appreciate them ironically and unironically? Oh, yeah, and there's all sorts of stuff in between there. But anyway, just to put it in context,

so I was there with myself, who is kind of on the fence as far as my stance, but just appreciative to be in a weird new scenario. Exactly. And then another friend who just didn't want to admit that he appreciated it on any level of fascination. So he was pretending he wasn't having a good time at all. Yeah.

Well, going into it when I was like, do you want to get psyched and listen to some... I pulled it up on my phone and pulling up songs on YouTube, cupping it to crank it. And he's like, oh, no, I hate that one. I was like, what? That's their best one. What is their best one, in your opinion? The one about... The only one where they go too far, I will say,

that I'm the most fascinated with is the one where he references being a rock star over and over again. Oh, yeah, we all want to be a rock star, fancy cars. Right, right. See? 60 bars and... I think he does the rap from Rapture. I don't know. Yeah yeah i honestly couldn't i know there was a song that had i think it was connected to the spider-man movie oh no that's that's hero

was that them it's it's that chad kroger solo with see with josie from saliva but yeah so like so your other friend so my other friend is he's he doesn't listen to them but he will go on record saying he's a hundred percent into them and is fascinated with them and we also talk about i'm recording this other guy's band and uh we we he always brings up like deaf leopard hysteria and you know that was kind of like lover boy and like no irony but it's kind of just assumed that you're like looking at it in context you know what I mean right so he was a hundred percent I am so excited like I'm like really you know like he's in like a like a pretty pretty cool indie band and he's like just a hundred percent will not show an

an ounce of you know on-fence-ness. Wow. Yeah. So that's a pretty, you've got a diverse crew. Yeah. So that's our crew. So we go in. Immediately, they're like, oh, if you want something.

What time are you? I want to know everything. Were there probably like five or six? Five. Show starts at seven-ish. Yeah. I guess if there's four bands on the bill, it starts kind of early. Exactly.

And then they were like, if you want to go to catering. Well, it's an arena show. Jesus. All right. And nobody really knows who you are in those backstage things. Like, if you have a VIP, you're basically, as far as they know, you're in the band, you know? Oh, yeah. Okay.

Well, you look like you could be in a band. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, yeah. You have your keys on the outside of your pants. I've got my phone on the outside of my pants absolutely you're just carrying things on a cords and hooks got a backpack with laptops blatantly in it that's so many laptops uh yeah no and uh so we went to catering um i had already eaten so i just chose like a piece of broccoli and like a marshmallow

or something like that and a seat next to because you're pregnant you took a marshmallow out of gavin rostale's specific bowl of count chocula's but it yeah it was weird and but we were all in agreement that we needed to find where the beer was because we were super uncomfortable yeah yeah yeah and it was just you need you needed some liquid courage yes and so you had melted down that marshmallow that could have been liquid courage right there and and so we ended up just finding their backstage where the band was hanging out went in because this is an arena so it's like yeah like the backstage goes all the way around yeah yeah and like hallways and and it's like many doors. The backstage goes all the way around. Yeah, yeah, and like hallways.

And there's like the Nickelback babysitting room. Really? Oh, yeah. Well, for Nickelback babies, they're animated TV series. Now, when you met Mr. Chad Kroger, he is probably wearing what I assume he's wearing some very complicated pants. Like pants that you can't buy in a store. Custom made pants is what I'm picturing. Oh, super custom.

Totally choked out. Very custom. Yeah, but I mean, it's weird because I've like... Yeah, I don't know. It was an intense night. I don't want to talk about it forever oh i do okay well what do you what do you want to know um well then the actual so you met them backstage i'm they i'm sure there were decent chaps yeah yeah they were wearing some decent chaps were

there some custom it's weird i didn't realize he's only a year older than me which is which Which seems weird. So he is 22. Flattery will get you. But he... So you met him and you were like, how old are you? He was like one year older than you. Yeah. I was hoping we could get a bit intimate and I could bring up Avril and stuff. Oh, because he worked with Avril? He's Levine.

He's dating her. What? What? Yeah. The guy from Nickelback is with Avril? He's dating her. What? What? Yeah. The guy from Nickelback is dating Avril Lavigne. It's been discussed by many people. I guess I knew they were working on music together. I don't think it's gossip that I'm sharing.

It's not like she was there, and I'm not supposed to say that or something. That's fine. She wasn't there, but I was curious. I wanted to bring it up. Okay, so you didn't talk to him about Avril does he think that he has to date somebody who's from Canada

does he feel like there's a rule it was either Avril Lavigne or Buffy St. Marie or Guy Lafleur yeah Guy Lafleur I was actually trying to reference who's that guy he, he's a Quebecois, like, famous pop star.

Rock Voisin? Yes. No, Guy Lafleur. You were right with Guy Lafleur. So, how long was your interaction with him? It was probably like three minutes, maybe. Nothing too special. three minutes in heaven anything goes and then are they just don't touch his complicated pants and how long were you

backstage before did you go watch the show with i actually spent most of the night in that backstage area okay just because they kept um just refilling the fridge with expensive, fancy cocktails. It was like coconut waters and all that stuff. Were there Smirnoff ices? Oh, yeah. Because speaking of irony, were there any bros icing bros? Nobody iced them on stage, unfortunately. So did you watch the show from the backstage area

like how how did you yeah we just kind of went side stage and just watched it side stage yeah watched a bit of saw i went out front a little bit yeah sure but we were we were curious because they're um they have pyro and stuff like that and it's really loud when you're side stage oh yeah scared the the crap out of us yeah i know i would i can't even in my head conceive of what uh like when the pyro goes off you feel the heat like it's like ah there's at any point does he like does does he come out with a chainsaw at any point yeah does he do like any theatrics um not really it's actually a pretty mellow gig for him, it seems. I mean, I'm sure he's got handlers taking care of all the details.

I think Avril's really calm to death. You know what I mean? He's really settling down. Yeah, she's a really calm woman. She could be his girlfriend. Absolutely. I remember one of their earlier videos had the drummer, his drums had big pot leaves on the drums.

And I thought that was strange because they are not a band I would consider. That is weird. If you go back, you'll see that they're aloe leaves. Yeah, sure. He's way into dermatology. He's got some of the softest skin in the band. So, I guess, what's the takeaway? What does a Steve Bays learn from this?

I wouldn't say I learned a lot, but it was fun. It was weird. This is, to me, I picture it very much like, I don't know if you watch Man Men, but when Don Draper and Associate went backstage at Rolling Stone. Oh, was that the newest season? The Rolling Stones i haven't i've only seen up till four it just that's exactly kind of the whole scenario is like well yeah we're there we're there uh because the thing backstage at the rolling stones in that madman episode it's nothing but teenage girls yeah are there i i hate that it's not like that ever at all. Okay, it's just like crew. It's like tons of crew and then like tons of family and friends and like obligatory meet and greets.

Is it because, oh, so meet and greets. Yeah, tons of meet and greets. Because I was listening to the- Also greets and meets. Like people, like contest winners? I don't know. I'm not sure. Or like I met Weird Al at a meet and greet.

Yeah, I've seen the photo. Yeah. Oh, yeah. And that was just straight up clinical. It was by the book, stand in line. I would worry that if you're, because you have a springy head of hair, and Weird Al, if you got too close, that it would be like a velcro. It would lock.

We'd essentially dread. Well, I guess we're going to have to combine musical careers. Better deal for me than you but well i don't know he always says he's finding ways to stay relevant i just listened to the mark maron weird al podcast and he's so business it's crazy who weird al yeah yeah it's not well he's a pro yeah the weird is in quotes yeah right i Right. Right. I think the owl's in quotes, too. It's much worse. It should just be called, like, professional owl. Yeah.

Pro owl. With some wacky songs on the side. I was actually listening to the radio the other day, and they had an ad for a contest where you could meet the offspring. Of who? No, the... California punk rock band. Shagburger and Al Levine. the offspring uh of who uh no the uh california um are you uh javel javel have you yes have you as a member of the hot hot heat yeah have you ever been has there ever been like a radio contest like meet hot hot heat and what are those like

oh yeah for sure meet the heat um that's what i would name it if i was a radio are they it's it's usually like it's usually early in the day and it's kind of like oh why do i have to do this one more thing to make me not even feel like i'm in the town at all you know yeah you at best you get like 20 minutes a day to explore the town i would at every uh opportunity with a meet and greet i would put on a different weird scent so that every everybody's anecdote they come away with is like he smelled like dill pickles or he smelled right or he smelled like like i would just dab it you know like i put kind of do a wash of it and then uh that was my thing once uh they said that triple h was going to be at the radio station uh triple h wrestler and only wrestler only wrestler dance came really yeah that yeah

because you said triple h that is the first thing yeah of course so the radio said Triple H is coming. Oh, man. HQ is coming. And so I remember there was this kid with drawings of Triple H. And I was like, can I have that anyway? But one thing that I would do sometimes. Were they all disappointed? Did they riot? Or did they sing along? No.

No, the kind of people that go to meet their idols at a radio station are like very shy yeah yeah that's true it's not uh yeah the people who want to yell at triple h they'll see him at yeah yeah it's never like super confident successful like hey bro what's up yeah you know it's always like hey hey like hey bro what's up Hi. Hey, bro, what's up? I love AAA. Are you him?

Oh, I actually don't like being referred to as bro. I'm so sorry. I prefer broseph. Or brohem. Brohem. Yeah. We're not close enough to be. You have to ice me before you call me bro.

Yeah. In this country, bros ice bros. close enough to be. You have to ice me before you call me bro. In this country, bros ice bros. Just the way I was raised. But after the event, me and my two friends went and ordered fries at a restaurant and just sat and chatted about it for quite some time.

Chatted? Chatted. Shot. Sorry, shot about it. Shot about it. Wow. So it was the greatest night ever just because it was like really different you know what i mean of course like when you travel and you say you go to i don't know you know if you go to la and everyone's like oh you gotta go check out skid row and you go down there it's like like, okay, I've seen it, but it doesn't mean I necessarily... You mean the band? Yeah. Well, yeah.

Yeah, like the radio station that announced Skid Row was going to be a little... The radio station was just a bunch of heroin addicts. Yeah, no, I would absolutely do something like that. Yeah, I'm all about new experiences like if someone was like hey dave do you want to go see dane cook you wouldn't go and like slam him the whole time you'd be like let's see what he's all about yeah yeah i i would go in with an open mind and but yeah like but it's an open pockets to take but it is it is weird though there's a i think why why arena bands continue to get other people to keep seeing them. Because you'd think you'd go see a band like that once and be like,

okay, I've seen it, and never go again. But they get repeat customers. I think it's just because you get sold on the insane two-hour sales pitch. Of course. You know what I mean? It's like two hours of 10,000 people going, this is incredible. It's like you kind of get sucked into it it's weird even if uh they just stand there and play their songs and they don't have a chainsaw right yeah no i mean but uh i don't know uh did you see

all of the bands who put on the best show because i heard that one band had costumes and they were either bush the bush, was pretty insane. Because he ran around the arena, like, did, like, two laps with a wireless mic, and was, like, dancing, and, like, touching people. And, like, listening. That was good. Yeah. That was good.

Sweating on people. But, anyway, there's got to be, this is the opening segment of the podcast. Yeah, yeah. But we recorded an episode two days ago, and I really just wanted to talk about this. Okay, good. Dave was very into it. He was upselling me. He wanted me to take the whole Nickelback package. And I was like, I don't know if I want the whole thing, but he's a good salesman. I also do associate it with good

because the guy that manages Nickelback also started an indie label that's since signed all the good bands in Vancouver. Not all of them, but a bunch of them. So there's kind of like this side label that's start just, it's like a brand new label, but it's putting out a ton of cool stuff. Yeah.

So it's kind of, you know. You know what? There's a silver side to the whole story. Yeah, it's a real silver side up story. Yeah, there's a real nickel lining to that club. Dave, what's going on with you, buddy? Oh, nothing. Nothing at all.

You didn't go see any Nickelback concerts in the last two days. I did come up with a product idea, though. Go on. Because the summer is so terrible. Yes. Sold. And it's so hot. You are talking to the right audience.

And everything smells so bad. Yes. Refrigerated garbage cans. Ah. Tell me more. I was just talking about how Toronto and New York stay. Sorry, bum-pumps.

But more of this idea. I don't know the logistics of it. I think you would have to plug them in. Yes. But they don't let your garbage cook in the sun all day. And then in the winter, they can heat your garbage. So like on a really cold day, if you're feeling super cold, you just walk up to a garbage can, lift open the lid,

and get a blast of hot garbage air in your face. You totally had me. And then I was like, yeah, this is a crazy guy idea. Real idea, then this is why people don't do it. But here's the thing. In the summer, could you not, if it was like a dumpster, could it not be powered by solar energy? Ooh.

And just be a self-contained. So the hotter it gets, the colder it gets. Yeah. I like this idea a lot of times. And then. Not ironically. And on the hottest days of the year it would be like the garbage the garbage truck would come by and lift up the thing

and empty it into it and it would just be a big cube of garbage yeah absolutely because you would just have to line all the garbage cans with something that was like a teflon so it wouldn't like what you use to line uh uh an suv limo. Yeah, hot tub. Absolutely. But yeah, I like everything about this idea. Okay. And maybe you have a little sort of like... You got the same... You got a crisper?

Absolutely. To put your compost. What about this? At the end of your shift, you use the hot tub as a dump truck i'm confused i'm confused by your idea is it just a stationary hot tub or is it attached to a dump truck i'm assuming an suv uh dump truck i'm wondering if you know what a dump truck is do you want a dump truck or a garbage truck?

A garbage truck. Depends what you're dumping in it, I guess. Something like this begs for a clever name, right? Like it's got to have something like the igloo or something like that. Like it's icky. Oh, but it's an igloo. Yeah. What else is cold?

Refrigerators. Yeah, coolers. Coolers. I'm trying to think of something. Because it's, what do we call, they're called dumpsters. Yeah, or garbage cans or rubbish bins if you're British. Yeah, exactly. Or if you're nasty.

Man, this one's tough. I mean, right now there's people that are listening to this that have the perfect. Yeah. Well, write in and we will get mad at you anyway. I'm very confidential with our listeners. Something with like a word that's cool with kids too. Yeah. Like a chill out reference or something.

Or like slurpy. Could we incorporate some kind of Slurpee device? Oh, like something that gives Slurpee up the side? Made of garbage? Put the letter I before it. Oh yeah, for the hip. Oh, iGarbage.

We should call it an ikloo, but the i is separate. So it's like I-kloo. Trash, something with trash. Oh, yeah. Trash stash. Yeah, or like maybe they're white. You call them white trash because they're white like snow.

Yeah, yeah. Let's just call them informers. Sure. So that's what's been going on with me I feel like we haven't talked enough about Nickelback well no but I feel a little bit like we also didn't give him

a chance to say hey what else is going on with you that's about it that's a wrap on my year Dave did you come up with any ideas for products yeah trash okay all right yeah that's a wrap on my day did you come up with any ideas for products uh yeah uh trash uh cold trash ice sub zero frost ice maybe uh trash salute zero drafts there you go done right it took a long, but it was worth it.

You're welcome. Absolute zero. And yourself? What's going on with you? Garbage-wise, I think my neighbor is putting his garbage in my garbage can. But I don't... There's no way to prove it. The garbage can in your alleyway, or is he sneaking into your kitchen?

No, he's sneaking into our... Like, I'm living in a house house and the garbage can's in the backyard until we put it over garbage day. But there was like a proper garbage bag in there today and I was like, we don't have to. We don't do anything proper. We only do the, you know, like from grocery store. Like Holt Ramshrew bags.

Yeah. Yeah. I live in a very posh house. Where we throw out our bags in likeshrew bags. Yes. Yeah. I live in a very posh house. Where we throw out our bags in designer suit bags. It's a weird dichotomy. We can afford a Holt, but we don't buy trash bags. Yeah. We share a house amongst five people.

But the one thing we refuse to scrimp on. Don't they have a summer sale? We usually put our garbage in brand new backpacks. Yeah, Louis Vuitton trash bags um no like you know we get grocery store bags right we don't buy garbage bags right that to me that's like the not the height but like if you're buying garbage bags oh i do that's where you what oh yeah you guys have a yeah well we got an industrial you gave us for Christmas one year, because our dog kept getting into our garbage, you gave us a large garbage

can, and so we've gotten the big bags. I just realized, in my mind, I was writing the episode description of this show. We talk about Nickelback and trash. Or, we talk about Nickelback and garbage, and people are like, oh, I don't want to hear about Nickelback,

but I do want to hear about the band Garbage. We actually talked about Nickelback white trash and real trash. Yeah, exactly. What was the audience predominantly white? That's weird. Oh, fluidity. That's pretty weird. But yeah, the garbage

can, bin. Yeah, it takes such big... Rubbish bin. Rubbish bin takes such big garbage, like it. Yeah, it takes such big... Rubbish bin. Rubbish bin takes such big garbage. Like, it can fill... It's very tall. Yeah. And I need to buy the large garbage bags to stretch out over it. Sure.

And Abby and I don't produce that much garbage. Right. It takes a while to fill up the bags. And so, we have to throw them away when they're half full just because there's rotting fruit in there. Yeah. It's hard to respect garbage by buying it a nice

encasing. But that was today. I threw out the garbage. I was like, wait a minute. First of all, it was a proper garbage bag. And second of all, it was one of the ones with the red easy tie on top. It's like the Cadillac of garbage bags.

Do we use those? That adds another quarter per bag that's kind of oh well no insane i mean like it adds a lot more if you're using shopping bags as garbage bags well yeah but oh do you go shopping specifically to get yeah bags yeah the only reason that i ever go without uh like a reusable bag is when we're like oh we got no garbage bags take some from us oh yeah well absolutely i mean uh if you're flush that's one thing i don't mind uh spending money on garbage bags yeah seems like like the two things that i think like uh things are going all right If you got garbage bags and you got paper towels, I'm like, oof. Paper towels is an awesome luxury. Yeah.

I recently got into them, and I just love it. I am still in the mode of taking napkins from, like, a fast food restaurant and just compiling a stack of napkins, and that becomes my paper towel. Yeah, my car is filled with Dairy Queen napkins. Yeah. I don't like to throw out napkins, perfectly good napkins and that becomes my opinion yeah my car is filled with uh dairy queen napkins yeah i don't like to throw out napkin perfectly good napkins of course not no what what what are we millionaires i my grandma she would she when they would fly to visit us i remember she would she would keep the little they would give you a slice of cheese that was just you know like in a plastic thing and she'd keep it in her

purse for days and then she would just if i was hungry and we were out and about she would just give it to me and now when i think about it i'm like that's probably nasty well i mean you know come on that cheese was probably treated with some sort of poisons to keep yeah um uh yeah uh there's a few like do you have do you have anything that you, growing up, uh, your parents didn't splurge on? Like, growing up, my parents, we only ever had, dad, we only ever had like, um, uh, uh, and I don't know why, uh, but we only ever had powdered laundry detergent and it's the dumbest. If you do your laundry wrong you end up with a big clump of powder in your pocket.

Powder in your pocket. And when I started buying my own laundry detergent I would just buy the powdered stuff because that's what my parents used but eventually it was like oh liquid makes more sense. But is liquid more expensive? I think so.

It might be. Hmm. Hmm. I don't know. Well, it's certainly a lifestyle upgrade. Oh, sure. When you travel and you go to a hotel, the key things are if there's no alarm clock,

kind of a big thing. Well, you're in a nice one if you have an alarm clock. Yeah. If you have an alarm clock yeah if you have a blow dryer huge oh blow dryer's huge yeah if you go into a hotel room you've got a blow dryer you're done and then if you've done it okay yeah you have nothing to sweat yeah exactly you are not gonna get robbed in the middle of the night yeah oh good like i think they add ipod docks now just to show off. Oh, that's insane.

I think if you go into a place... That's an extra star on the hotel. It was a three star, now it's a four star. Yeah, absolutely. Oh, wow. Also, if the channels are wildly different volumes. It used to be they would advertise HBO all the time, but

pretty much you can never find HBO at a hotel anymore. Yeah, no, that's true. So in a way, sure, we've got our iPods docked. That's great. But when can we watch the newsroom? I want to watch some original programming while I'm traveling. Yeah, absolutely.

Because, well well what else does hbo show pornos yeah what are they show that isn't i only ever watch it for the things that are like uh uh their their prime time shows but that can't be what's on all the time they don't know i get hbo canada and it's like do you want to watch uh Ron Sexsmith documentary? Oh I've seen that. Do you want to watch a Feist documentary? I sat near him on a plane once. Oh yeah? Was he a sad sack? I think I remember you

in the documentary. It was heavily documented. A lot of people wanted to talk about that. Yeah. We kind of glossed over that. I feel bad. We're in this documentary.

You're kind of a pivotal character. I sat beside Johnny Marr on a plane once. Of the Smiths? Of the Smiths. And he watched Simpsons the whole time. Which made me really happy. Yeah, absolutely. Well, he's got to do something to lighten the mood.

Yeah. Why don't they call me back? Shooting up or something. It's a frowned upon on planes. What's Johnny Mara up to now? Is he still in The Modest Mouse? No, he's actually just a working musician. I once had to request an interview with him.

Oh, wow. And I wrote his record label, because I don't like calling anyone. I just emailed, and they wrote back saying, these are the things he will not talk about. What? Morrissey. The Simpsons. Well, it was like the Smiths and Morrissey.

Anything regarding the Smiths. Anything that you want to talk about. And so the person who was going to interview him wasn't me. It was someone, and they absolutely wanted just to talk about the Smiths. Oh, no. And so I had to change the wording in such a way, and they still were like, he's going to pass. You changed it to the Smyths? Yeah.

I think he's just probably bored. I want to talk about keeping up with the Joneses. He's probably just really bored of it, you know, of talking about it. And as someone that knows a thing or two about Johnny Marr,

he doesn't like to be bored. No, exactly. That's why he watches The Simpsons on the plane. Oh, man. Dave, do you want to move on to some business? No, I want to move on

to Overheard. Oh, we don't have any business today. Overheard. Listen up, Jack. Or jill it's 2012 yeah everybody can listen up adam sandler or adam sandler uh overheards things for people in the world these ones are for people yeah listening this one's for the children trans translating them through their head or their appendages and sending them our way.

We like to start with the guest, always. Before the guest talks, I want to talk about me. I want to talk about my favorite segment, a segment called Celebrity Birthdays. The Celebrity Birthdays is a time in our lives when we celebrate the lives of celebrities and the year that they age birth-wise.

Today, we've switched it up a bit. Today's Celebrity Birthdays is called Celebrity Hearse Days. This was suggested by Concrete Tales on the Maximum Fun forums. He or she suggested many, many great ones. Celebrity Hirst Days we are going to try to figure out

when these celebrities are going to die. I'm not participating. I refuse. It's not a celebrity death. David Hasselhoff, for example, would be an easy one. That was a couple weeks ago he had a birthday. It's not a celebrity death ball. David Hasselhoff, for example, would be an easy one. That was a couple weeks ago he had a birthday. Absolutely. But he had some sort of dog.

Yeah, Celebrity Bark Day. Celebrity Bark Day. Yeah, absolutely. So these are the Celebrity Hearst Days for July 31st. Dave, if you would please do some shutting up. Because it's time for a segment called Hulk Hogan News. Hulk Hogan News!

Hulk Hogan News! Hulk Hogan News! Brother! Now, Hulk Hogan, like I said last week, he is on fire. What was last week? Last week, he approached a Washington Redskins football player and asked him to become a wrestler.

Okay. This week. What? Yeah. Why? Tune in a week ago. Now, here's the thing. Hulk Hogan, after being a wrestler for so many years, he's undergone a lot of surgeries.

None of which are cosmetic, surprisingly. Yeah, absolutely. He doesn't need it. He's still a pretty handsome guy for a guy who's been wrestling for 500 years. Yeah, that's true. And also spends probably nine or ten hours a day out in the sun. Yeah, yeah. Like, close to the sun.

Like Mercury. So, he recently has undergone surgery on his his hip and his knee to have his penis enlarged yep no he had to take an intimate right yeah into his hip yeah because he wanted to go back to wearing the tight yellow shorts and they were like blue hip injections um but he's recovering. Uh, he uploaded a video to his Twitter page and he says, quote, thank you for all your thoughts and prayers. Classic. Um, feeling like brand new brother. Uh, so, you know, he, they had to take, they had to break some of his bones to put the

back together. Sometimes you have to break things down. Yeah. Yeah. To make it all. To break a few legs. Yeah, to make a homlet. You have to break a few legs to make a homlet. To make a homlet. Pretty great. Well, we wish Hulk all the best in his rest, recovery, recuperation,

and reducing, reusing, and recycling. The six R's. So congratulations, Hulk Hogan, on that tidbit of news. As a Hogan fan, do you hope that he will return to the ring? Look, every...

It's like anything else. It's like you kind of... You're a Beatles fan, you kind of hope that Paul and Ringo will get together and do something. Yeah. And it's, but like, don't write, don't, or whatever fan, they, even though you know it's probably not going to happen, you still harbor some hope. Some resentment. Yeah, you harbor a lot of resentment that you spent so much time of your life investing in them that they just broke up.

But Hulk Hogan will never break up with WrestleLift. No, absolutely. He's still involved in wrestling. He'll wrestle again. I guarantee you. Guarantee? I didn't know he stopped. We've gone from Hulk to Guarantee. No, he's retired because his back was basically broken.

When's the last time he wrestled? One year? Five years? It's been a couple of years. Since he bowed out of years. Okay. Since he bowed out of the squared circle. Hulk Hogan fact. Last question. Yeah.

About Hogan. Do you think he will... Is he dating Avril Lavigne? Will he... She wishes. Is he dating Chyna? No. The country.

You don't... One does not date China. You marry that and lock it down. Lock that down. Do you think he will find out about this podcast at some point and then... I hope so.

We all hope so. We hope that the world's collapsed. There's got to be enough bumpers just saying, hey, just so you know that eventually... Because no one else is really... I mean, the sad thing is... Well, maybe not the sad thing, but a lot of people are reporting Hulk Hogan news. He's got a great publicist because Graham finds this stuff every week.

Can I say where I got this nugget? What the website is? The website that I got this from is femalfirst.co.uk. That's the website I got this from is femalfirst.co.uk That's the website I got this from. We're always on. I'm cruising that 24 7. Absolutely. That's my policy in the bedroom.

Now back to celebrity hearse days. These are celebrities celebrating their hearse days on July 31st. Now they're undead. Not like zombies. These celebrities are not dead.

Well, one of them, actually. I don't like this at all. One of them is literally undead. Oh, okay. All right, fun. Happy Celebrity Hearst Day to the kid from, the little Spanish kid from a modern family Rico Rodriguez turns 28 today that's the problem the thing you're a problem with what's the hearse connection with this we have to decide when Rico Rodriguez, who turns 28 today, will die.

Wait a minute, he's not... No, he's 13. I missed that. I glazed right over that. I don't... Want to participate? Well, no, I can't. I won't.

It seems unlucky. He will die in like 800 years. unlucky uh he will die in like 800 years dude he will be the first um sitcom actor rocketed into space yeah rocketed into a black hole because he's lived too long well like what if you retire at 65 and you live for another 700 years yeah you would have to um what's the pension like? What kind of budget do you string out? Do you just spend a penny a day? Well, even then. Garbage bags or no garbage bags.

Oh my god, your garbage bag days are over. Yeah. First of all. Yeah. Let's put that pipe dream away. Happy paper towels. You can just shove that up your ass. You're going to be stealing ketchup packets.

Happy Celebrity Hearst Day to former Superman and football player for the Princeton Tigers, Dean Cain. And also, I believe, the

first physical love of Miss Brooke Shields. Really? Like, as in... Boyo-yoing. Wow. How old is he? He is 46 today. Like H.J.? Yeah.

All the way with Dean Cain. All the way. Oh, really? I think she was a celebrated virgin wasn't she um oh i heard that the sex in the blue lagoon was real uh but they had to throw away the blue lagoon because it got too nasty hot dog um so uh yeah i guess he'll die within 40 or 50 years. I think Dean Cain's probably got a really strict regime. So I bet he's going to... We're going to see him for a long time. Did he host Ripley's Believe It or Not?

Yes. And does he still host Ripley's Believe It or Not? Does that show exist? That's one of the Ripley's Believe It or Not. Dean Cain still hosts. Even though we don't make the show. He and Nicole Eggert get together every day. And host it from their living room believe it or not

I really like that idea my knowing who these people are ratio is 0 to 2 and you know who that is did you ever watch Lois and Clark with Terry Hatcher I'm not a fan of superheroes anything yeah but that was garbage it was more like how I never did. Hatcher? I'm not a fan of superheroes, anything.

Yeah, but that was garbage. Yeah, it was more like how, you know, Beauty and the Beast, the TV show, was a fantasy show. It was more like a cop show. Well, you'll know this one. The creator of Harry Potter, J.K. Rowling, just kidding, Rowling.

LOL, Rowling. She turns 47 today and she shares the birth a birthday with her character harry potter who turns 32 today apparently what a suspicious coincidence so okay things are adding up yeah things are adding harry potter was born on this day in 1980 apparently he's 32 is he a guy who's is he hanging out at the hogwarts is he a teacher now i wonder if he goes back because we we i forget who the guest was i believe i want to say evany rosen we we talked about what happens to these students after do they get jobs as magicians oh yeah yeah they're like what kind of wizarding jobs yeah yeah as a former magician i can say

there's not a lot of work in it do you actually have magic yet no i was a paid magician as a child really tell me about this background yes please uh, please. We should have got this off the top. I was, well, you know, it's only so many stories you can tell in one podcast. Well, absolutely, yeah. But this is what we call burying the lead. Maybe when you post it, you could say former magician.

Well, I was, got into magic as a young lad. Maybe like 8, 9, 10, 11. I think I probably retired at about 12. But I was in, I studied it. I studied from... The dark arts. From the Torah.

I studied from a very, like a professional magician. Really? Went to clubs, meetings. I was literally probably like 8, 9, 10 at this point. You actually trained from a magician? Yes. What? Yeah.

Was this in Victoria, British Columbia? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, and he was known as the guy in town. Did he run Don's Hobby Shop? No, it was... Was he ravined? He had a store called Tony's Trick and Joke Shop. Do you know that one?

Yes. Oh, okay, cool. Tony's Trick and Joke. Yeah, Don's Hobby Shop was in Calgary. Tony's Drinking... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Graham was training as a young man to be a comedian, so he would go and just buy the jokes.

Yeah, I was just buying the tricks. I was into the tricks. And you were into the treats. Yeah. I would walk... What new jokes do you have, I said? We've got mostly prank-based ones. We've got fart powder. But we've got a uh mostly a prank based ones we've got fart powder but we've also

got a 101 blonje fly in the ice cube yeah we've got some good polack jokes that have come in we've got the snapping uh a piece of gum with the mousetrap mechanism i all i also uh studied the that area as well like i i had a book of like 1000 jewish and polack jokes like that kind of stuff yeah absolutely um but i i i got more into the magic um and uh yeah so tony goodness tony tony paid the bills but with like bumper stickers he would make custom bumper stickers do you remember that was a big thing no and no offense to the bumpers but before that bumper stickers right bumpers were a thing on cars before we called our fans bumpers that's once yeah right right in the first episode before they existed um now what do you mean he would make what custom bumper stickers yeah that's

how he paid the bills like in his store when you went in there would be a big rack of like local specific bumper stickers. But you could be like, this is James' car. Fuck it up. No, he wouldn't customize it for you, but it would be... Oh, he'd make his own custom one. Yeah, he'd make his own humorous bumper stickers. And that's what paid the bills?

Yeah. Wow. That's how he kept it up and running. But after hours, he would teach magic in the back. Really? Yeah. So I had... this is this is outstanding so i would get i would be paid 15 per magic show and i would do birthday parties really and what

did you do you do the rings um i didn't like the ring one but i i had a briefcase full of all sorts of ones like a different tricks like. So, what was your favorite? My favorite was, and this was, like, my finale, was the one where you have, like, this silver orb, and it was attached to this, like, long stick that attached to your thumb that they didn't see, and you had a big handkerchief, and, like, you would act like the ghost was, you know... Making the orb levitate?

Yes. Oh, wow! And that was kind of, the big finale but uh usually would start the show with like i had these cards that he um like showed me how to do it and you staple them together so like it looks like you're um shuffling the cards from like a few feet apart oh yeah i mean but they're actually stapled together i would there's you're gonna get kicked out of the magician's union for all this yeah oh yeah a few feet apart. Oh, yeah. You know what I mean? But they're actually stapled together. You're going to get kicked out of the magician's union for all this. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

You're like that masked magician. No, no. On Fox. Yeah. Lucha Libre. Yeah. Oh, my God. Yeah, I don't want to get kicked out of the union.

And was he... Did you work for him? Like, did he run an agency that would send out he was not my pimp okay no manager no wizard yeah he was my wizard i was his elf and i would pay him a percentage of 95 commission um did you do any card tricks uh oh yeah lots of card tricks i thought card tricks were boring i was more into things where you had to buy a gadget right do it like um i had a prosthetic joy buzzer oh yeah yeah and you would you know anyway i don't want to give away i don't want

to get kicked out of it did at any point was he like we've got to incorporate more of these bumper stickers into the x because i gotta move yeah my latest line is not moving as much as the typo series is not moving yeah exactly so look if you're horny so uh when are jk rowling and harry potter gonna die probably when they uh try to uh uh trade places oh yeah go through a dimension hole and and like be united as lovers dimension hole i'm not really big into sci-fi, but I think you'd go into a dimension hole. A happy 49th Hearst Day to Fatboy Slim.

Norman Cook is 49 today. Oh, really? Yeah. To me, he seems like somebody who's been 49 since he was first popular. Maybe it's one of those things where he's just afraid to turn 50, so he keeps telling people he's 49. Guess what birthday it is.

I imagine he'll die from some kind of party drug. E-related. Yeah. He will die from E on entourage. We'll book him on a gig. Anyway, and today's happy undead birthday to the actor who plays Blade. Oh, Michael Chiklis. Yep.

Thing Blade. Thing Blade! Pretty good. Yeah, that is pretty good. Wesley Snipes turns the big 5-0. Wow. Something Norman Cook never could. Was he...

I think he'll die of tax evasion. Oh, well, that's been a pretty good celebrity hearse day. Yeah, I guess it's better to come up with the way they'll die than when they'll die. For some reason, that feels too real. When? I don't know, 92? I don't know, they're rich, so a long time. Yeah, exactly. Now, over her.

Do we still do that? Yeah, we do! Can you believe it? I thought they got voted off. But you know what? We control the votes. This ain't a democracy. Steve? Well, first of all, I had one that was okay, We control the votes. This ain't a democracy. Steve? Okay. Well, first of all, I had one that was okay.

But can I give like a semi-overheard before my official not that great? Yeah, sure. We're over here. We got plenty of time. This is an overheard that you've heard in a semi-truck. Well, it was just... And it was ass, gas, and grass. No one rides...

When I was backstage hanging out with Chad, I noticed that there was just... And it was ass, gas, grass, no one rides... When I was backstage hanging out with Chad, I noticed that there was a... Can you name one other member of Nickelback? Mike? Wrong. Norm? Whoa. Those are names.

Yeah. I guarantee you there's no Norm. Mike, Matt, Norm, Flash. Yeah. Underdog. Fat boy. Yeah. Midge. norm mike matt norm flash yeah underdog fat boy yeah uh midge wesley's night yeah um and it was and it was this is more an overseen um and uh it was just a piece of paper or a piece of cardboard with a sharpie on it and it was uh just kind of just on the on the grounds and i just picked it up because i was like what is this piece of cardboard with words

what is this guy i gotta read it i gotta read it and it was it was a very nice phrase it said you'd look so much cuter with me in your mouth oh so this was a uh this was a um what do you call it a cue card and i i just thought it's not really an but was like it's something maybe a fan brought for him like i don't know it's it's just weird and with penis it's just weird so i i just proceeded to take photos with my buddies holding this. It's kind of like if you have a garden gnome or something, you just take a ton of photos with them. You take it on a worldwide trip with you. But my real overheard is we walk our dog around the same block over and over, as you do when you have a dog.

around the same block over and over, as you do when you have a dog. And there's a Catholic men's shelter adjacent to where we live. Pretty posh area. Oh yeah, all the soup you can eat. There's always weird conversations going on all the time. At one point I heard like an argument going on for a while. And I just kind of finally just checked into it a little bit and started listening. And I heard, you know what?

The only thing worse than your attitude is your breath. But it was then when I turned around, the whole argument was being held by one gentleman. He was thinking back to something he should have said. Yeah, exactly. And then I threw the fresh strips at his face. Wow. But it's weird, because if you have an internal dialogue going on, you wouldn't think breath would come into it well you know what i don't know yeah i don't i think uh anything nothing's off limits if you're talking to a ghost i just assume it would be like you really went wrong when you you know you dropped out of school

or something like it would be like oh he's talking to himself you think oh no he was yeah he was talking yeah but he's talking to himself but maybe he's thinking about something he should have said to uh yeah dr halitosis right of course doctor uh he's uh one of the uh less popular uh spider-man because any of these dentists yeah any of the uh uh internal dialogues i've had have been like things I should have said to people during arguments. Sure. Hey, jerk. Yeah. Stop it. Usually it starts with hey, jerk. Yeah. I like to hit him

where it hurts. Yeah. Cut it out. Stop that. Yeah. Hey. Hey. Hey. Okay, Dave? My overheard is this Today, as a matter of fact, I was Standing on the street and I had to stop

Where I was because I was Sending a text message to my wife to tell her I was going to go eat some tacos Which she would find humorous Because I went to the same taco restaurant Last night for dinner But So I'm stopped there and i'm texting and i

i'm right next to a cafe where there's a couple of women talking uh uh sitting outside drinking coffee and just just talking and one of them is really upset about something that happened at work and it from what she's talking about she she seems like she's very powerful at her job and it seems like it's a very important place that she works at. And she's like, you know, I'm too busy. I can't be dealing with all this stuff. I got a lot of stuff to do, man.

Like this Jenga competition. Who's going to organize that? Not me. who's gonna organize that not me so it immediately went from like high finance to a jenga competition yeah i'm working at the at this toy factory what am i supposed to take all of the ones from the bottom and put them on top yeah what about the middle who's gonna put them on top? Yeah. What about the middle? Who's going to put them on top? Let me guess. This guy.

Yeah, absolutely. All I'm hearing all day. It's weeviling. It's wobbling. Who is she talking to? I wouldn't want to work at J.K. What problem was she dealing with that was smaller than that? Yeah. Oh, that Mr. Magorium is really riding my ass lately breathing down my neck with his wonder

emporium yeah why did i ever take a job at this stupid wonder emporium um graham do you have an overheard i do mine is courtesy of uh the the well that never runs dry public transit the cruiser this was a guy it's the shift in tone that caught me more than anything two guys talking to each other on the bus and they were talking about somebody that they both knew and the guy said

yeah I heard that this guy used to hang around Panago and wait till people would walk out with their pizza. And then he stole the pizza. Yeah, he was always doing hilarious stuff like that. That is a good prank. Yeah. Now you don't have a pizza, idiot.

That's a good jape. Yeah, exactly. I bet you were thinking you were going to eat pizza, but you're wrong. Have you ever stolen pizza? I don't know where to go from there did you ever make a pizza vanish? well I briefly while in college experimented with pizza delivery

who hasn't? and you would just pray that the order was wrong. And then you would, especially if it was a busy night, you would just go back, get a new one, and then that pizza that was wrong would just somehow evaporate. Oh, yeah, absolutely. How many of those happened? It's like on the wire.

Oh, I got really, really stealth about it for a while. And I would feed my roommates. How many wrong orders were there? I got really stealth about it for a while. I would feed my roommates. How many wrong orders were there? Do people check immediately? Sometimes you would manipulate it. It's pretty intense. If you have a pizza delivery job, you're at the status in life where you're willing to take take certain risks let's just say you're not buying yourself any paper towels absolutely the thing that i like

the possibility of is one of the delivery guys getting fatter than everybody else yeah oh no i my friends actually i i at that point i think went up to like almost one, I think I was like 180. Like, but I was. Gross. No, no, no. But I like, I, I, I gained maybe like 30 pounds. Like I really did like. 30 pizza pounds. Yeah.

I really did tack it on for a while. The freshman 30. I could weigh 180 in my sleep. Absolutely. Yeah, no, I mean, I, I've. You probably wouldn't sleep as well. At the time Absolutely You probably wouldn't sleep as well At the time 180 is not very much For guys of our height

For a 6 foot guy 180 is perfectly fine At the time I was like 18 Or something like that It was kind of My friends pointed it out Pointed specifically at At specifically just something like that so it was kind of my friends pointed it out when it's specifically at specifically just graham's all about body shame absolutely if you're not ashamed of your

body then you're not looking close enough that's my message to the people uh we also have overheard sent in by people from around the world nothing tastes as good as being ashamed of your body feels. Exactly. Nothing tastes as good as staying at home instead of going to the beach feels. I kind of feel, though, with that stuff, it's like, if it's just because you're living life, then fair enough. But if it's because you slammed a ton of pizza in a short period of time because you were just stoked on pizza. If you're literally carrying around pizza pockets in your pockets. If you altered your cargo pants to have triangular

pockets. Yeah, you stitched off the bottom of them so pizza would fit better. You're like laundering pizza, essentially. It's not about anything other than pizza. So we have overheards that are sent in from people all over the world.

If you want to send in an email to us with an overheard, you can send them in to stoppodcastyourself at gmail.com. This first one comes from Kevin L., who used to work in an x-ray library. Okay. Before x-rays went digital, patients' x-rays were kept here and could then be checked out by doctors.

So pretty much what you'd expect from the name. What are the late fees like? Yeah, absolutely. This is on a set of x-rays. I came across this statement. So these are the doctors have made notes that go along with the x-ray. This guy's leg is hella broken.

Quote, patient was just fooling around and got a pen stuck in urethra. Hey, we were just getting around. One thing led to another. Yeah. Real quick.

Weirdest thing you've got stuck in your urethra. For me, it was urine. Yeah, I guess it was that pen that one time. Yeah, well, you gotta fool around. Yeah, exactly. I was at a young age. I was seeing what I liked to pen. Where is the urethra?

It's your pee hole. Yeah, it's where pens should never go. Oh, wait, was it a man that had this issue? Yeah, absolutely. Come on, there's no way a lady would ever... It's gross regardless of your sex. I don't even think that... Do women have urethra?

Yes. Good for them. 2012, they can have whatever they want. Let them be who they want to be. Yeah, absolutely. This next one comes from Matthew in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan. Matt Sask. I was sitting downtown and a girl was walking by on her cell phone,

and as she passed, I heard her say, What? Oh, a milkshake. I thought you said a million snakes. Come over, I'll make you a million snakes. There's a milkshake attacking my face. Or a milf steak. Oh, man. McDonald's has triple thick millions etc uh look there's a lot of milkshake scenario absolutely but you wouldn't have a shamrock million snakes because that's uh saint patrick who ran right oh out of our house. Oh, thanks very much. Oh, absolutely. God bless you, St. Patrick.

And this last one comes from Chris S. from Charlotte, I assume. North Carolina? Or the character on Sex and the City. From the prissy one. My overheard is this. I was at the beach walking on a pier towards a couple who were clearly having a fight. The guy, a pudgy lummox, kept telling the girl, come on, babe. Give me a

kiss. Give me a kiss. Give me a kiss. And she was walking away. She turned around, waved her finger in his face, and told him, no, you shouldn't have said that about my grandma's neck. There are some things that are off-limits. Oh, I bet it was goiter-y. Yeah, exactly.

Grandma turkey lurkey is not to be made fun of. Well, in addition to overheards... Are you okay? I thought we might do some neck chat, but I think we're good. Neck chat. In addition to overheards that are written in we also accept phoned in overheards if you want to call us with your telephone it's 206-339-8328 you know these people have done that hey guys and potential guests i have a bit of an overheard but

i guess it was said to me so it's not really officially an overheard i was out with one of my friends at a boutique coffee shop in edmonton. It had one of those patios where there's just room for two tables of two people, and it protrudes onto the sidewalk with a mini little fence around it. Me and my friend were there, sitting and having a nice time, enjoying some coffees later at night. It was definitely dusk out. And a man comes out onto the sidewalk, into the patio onto the sidewalk, and is wearing sunglasses at night, which was the first issue.

And he just stands there on the patio with nowhere to sit, looking out, standing, standing. About ten minutes later, he turns to us and says, Hey, ladies, what's up? We said, Not much. And he says, Oh, cool, what's up? We said, not much. And he says,

oh, cool, cool. I'm just standing here waiting for my girlfriend. We just say back, oh, cool, cool. And then he says, it could be you. And then we look awkwardly and say, oh. And then he moves in with the line, my name's Timmy. I don't have any STDs, which all we know what to say is, oh, okay. And then, getting the vibe from us that we're not into it, he says, oh, I'm out of here, and leaves his beer, three quarters not drank, and says

you can have the rest of this. To which we definitely did not have the rest of it. Have a great show. Why not? He clearly doesn't have anything. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He told you up front. He's cool.

That kind of reminded me of on As It Happens when people call in and they're like, and these are some messages that people left. You know what I mean? But with a message that would not really pertain to the show at all. Do you think it was Corey Hart? He was wearing sunglasses at night. Absolutely. He's famous for not having any STDs.

Yeah. He was in the Guinness Book of World Records for 80s pop star with fewest STDs. None. Looking for my girlfriend. Could be you. Oh, that is smooth. That is a good line. We should...

You're single. And ready to never mingle. You're going to England. You should use that. Maybe it's not popular over there. Single and ready to mingle. Actually, at the time this episode is out, you're there. Yeah, I'm there. I'm in the thick of it.

I'm sweating. I'm worried about terrorism. All these things. He doesn't have any STDs. Yeah. That I know sweating. I'm worried about terrorism. All these things. Ladies, he doesn't have any STDs that I know of. What can you catch from a ballpoint pen? A lot of flack from your boss. Ink pink. You stink. Riding on a horse's dick.

Two in the... next. Hi, Dave Graham and enjoyable guests. This is Jordan from Virginia College. Just walking across campus today and I heard about 12-year-old boy and 12-year-old girl. If I got a free donut every time I criticized someone, that would be awesome.

Fact. No one ever really comes up with that if I the like if i had a nickel for every time that'd be great yeah it'd be fantastic imagine all the nickels um and was it for criticizing yeah yeah i have to do that all day that would be a real a real positive reinforcement on uh negative behavior yeah that's how roger ebert made his living if i could make i had a donut for every movie i criticized negative behavior. Yeah, that's how Roger Ebert made his living. If I had a donut for every movie I criticized. Didn't he like...

Lose his jaw? Yeah. Is that what we're talking about? You were trying to sugarcoat it a little bit there. Yeah, absolutely. Like so many donuts. How many donuts do you think he gets for a D?

Dave is the more raw of the two of you. Oh, absolutely. How so? He's the... Because I don't wear a condom. Raw as in, you know... WW. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You're more N... I didn't say F because I... Is it E now? I think it's still WWF it still is right? it is in my heart that E thing is ridiculous

the logo was so much better for WWF way better oh you mean the panda yeah the panda express? no the World Wildlife Fund logo

yeah it's a panda it's a panda wrestling Triple H yeah the band your band it's it's a panda. It's a panda. Wrestling Triple H. The band. Your band. It's been really confusing for all parties involved.

And finally, this one there's a little bit of an audio like the background noise I think picks up in the middle, but stay with us, guys. Hey, Dave and Graham. I don't care if you have a guest. I just heard, this is a combination of drunk dial and hurt.

I just heard a lady, a mother of a friend, call a fist bump a hip knuckle. Was it a hip knuckle or hip knuckle? Hip knuckle. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Fist bump. Like Barack Obama and his wife with their Muslim fist jabs. Is that what they called them?

What? Was that in the, that was the way they were trying to spin it? Yeah, that's how the... Muslim fist jabs. Was it Muslim or Islamic? Islamic. But it was fist jabs. I think it was Islamic fist jabs was the reaction to Barack and Michelle Obama doing the old hit knuckle.

Is that supposed to be like a high five or a hit knuckle? That's the alternative? Well, you've seen it done, right? A fist bump. Oh, for sure. Do you partake? People do them to me all the time but i think it's just because they're germophobes yeah it's a good idea yeah yeah absolutely what if uh yeah

oh is that is that uh howie mandel does the fist bump right yeah with the it is weird though like in this day and age to just shake everyone's hands. It is. I shook your hand when you came in. You and Graham hugged. Yep. And you and my wife hugged. But I was like, it's pretty hot. Yeah, hands. Yeah, that's true. Also, I don't like hugging people.

Really? Yeah. Okay. All right. I kind of, yeah. I'd like the hug. Yeah, absolutely. Look, I like hugging people who I've hugged a thousand times

but I don't like the first time we hug it's going to be special when I take you to Nickelback in two years I'm going to take you in an SUV I'm going to hug you I'm going to give you a hot tub

I'm going to hug you all night long we're going to have to throw away the hot tub. So here we are at the end of the episode. You hugged so hard. Now, when we end the episode, when we have a musical guest, we like to play a piece of their music. And I believe there is a piece of music

from a project of yours called Fur Trade. Yes. So we'll play that. Anything people need to know about that? and I believe there is a piece of music from a project of yours called Fur Trade. So we'll play that. Anything people need to know about that? Is it available? It's not available yet, although we do have a record label finally that said they want to put it out. The Nickelback's manager's record label?

It's Tyra Banks. It's bankable production. You want to be on top? Whoa! But no, this song was... I like... This sounds very emotional, this song. I like the sound.

No, I was just running through a potential conversation with my friend and uh i was like i just really don't like when people get too heavy about things like i'm an emotional guy yeah but i don't like when people get too emotional okay and you say too heavy you mean eat too many pizzas right and so i was just like i was like oh just like thinking I didn't want him to get heavy. So I was like, oh, don't get heavy. Yeah, yeah, stop eating all those pizzas. Stop eating so many pizzas. It was pizza related.

Again, tying in a weird aisle. It's inevitable. So it's called Don't Get Heavy. We'll hear it at the end. Anything you'd like to plug? How can people see you on the internet? Or hear you. Or hear you or hear you absolutely

or i guess we have uh we have a video on we have a couple videos on youtube i guess for a type in fur trade one song is called kids these days that's a lot of fun that video right it is cool that was done in east van and it was just one shot of the director's daughter who was 11 at the time and she was just they just, we found a wheelchair on the street and we were like oh that would be a cool trolley and it was just like a moment in time found a wheelchair

swear to god it was was there somebody lying next to it slash I beat up an old guy there we go took him to the hospital he got a wheelchair and uh but yeah no it was in and it's just uh her just dancing like her like an 11 year old interpretation of what dance is yeah and it was a little bit beyonce a little bit uh i don't know

it's weird it's young kids these days they're they're weird it it's weird young kids these days they're weird it's kids these days you're right no it's weird though because they're like those are the lyrics they're one second

they're watching you know Beyonce next minute they're like singing along at a Nickelback concert they don't they grow up so fast they're genre free

yeah genre free and proud of it but yeah I don't know we have like tumblers and stuff like that. But we're supposed to put on an album on a good label this year.

This is exciting. Yeah. No, it's it. I feel like I should be more excited that we have like a record deal. I also feel that. We've got a record deal. Is it me or do the Steve Baze episodes feel like they take forever to just end? It's like it really draws out the very end.

Well, there's something I really was hoping to tell you guys, which is that I'm officially... Cut. This is where you cut it. Okay. There you go. Yeah, nice. Nice.

But also, we've got to plug something out. Dave, you and I are gonna be in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. Birthplace of democracy. Yep. We've been talking a lot about the Canadian Comedy Awards.

We thank you if you voted for us. We curse you if you didn't. We would like to announce that we will be performing a live episode of this podcast We curse you if you didn't We would like to announce that we will be performing A live episode Of this podcast At the Canadian Comedy Awards Is it at the Comedy Bar in Toronto?

That is the That is the rumor Rumor has it The birthplace of comedy The birthplace of democratic comedy And that takes place On Friday of Democratic Comedy. And that takes place on Friday

August 24th. 24th. Mark it in your calendaros. And are tickets on sale now? I don't know. Well, yeah, by now, yes. So tickets are on sale now. Oh, God, I hope

they're still on sale by the time this episode comes out. You can find that. We'll post a link to it on the episode recap at MaximumFun.org. Check out the episode recaps. They will have the recaps of things in the episode. Surely there will be a Nickelback video. The recaps are spectacular. There you go, Steve.

Dragging at the end of the episode. Let me just say. And Graham at the end of the episode. Let me just say. And Graham at the moment is in England. You can check him out. He's already performed his show, but he's still walking around the countryside. Absolutely. I may be in Piccadilly Circus looking for an elephant. No actual elephants in Piccadilly

Circus. If you like the show, why don't you go and tell your friends and come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself Don't get heavy Don't get heavy We can talk or we can drink We can talk or we can just talk about The fact that we're losing touch

About the fact that we're losing touch About the fact that we're not losing much Every night and every day Every possible word that I could say About the fact that we're losing touch About the fact that we're not losing much One more Don't get heavy Don't get heavy Don't get heavy Ah, don't get heavy

All night and day, all night and day All night and day, all night and day All night and day, all night and day All night and day, all night and day All night and day, all night and day We can talk or we can drink We can talk or we can just think about The fact that we're losing touch About the fact that we're not losing much

Every night and every day Every possible that I could say About the fact that we're losing touch About the fact that we're not losing much Don't get heavy Ah Don't get heavy Ah Don't get heavy. Don't get heavy.

Don't get heavy Don't get heavy