Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 233 - Jane Stanton

Episode Date: September 4, 2012

Jane Stanton returns to talk about Europe, Risky Business, and bidets.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 233 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who shared in our victory of becoming the first ever best podcast award winner at the Canadian Comedy Awards, Mr. Dave Shumka. Yay for us! All right.

A-ooga! Yeah. Who invited the old car? Horse noise. What a party! Yep. I want to thank everyone who voted for us. Yeah, you guys are the greatest. All of our listeners. I want to thank

the Maximum Fun community. All of our guests. Yes, all of our guests. Absolutely. Yeah, you guys are the greatest. So, I didn't hear your speech that you gave. It was reminiscent of something that the Dixie Chicks, like lots of tears. And you're embarrassed that George Bush is from Texas. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And this is like, this is our redemption. People said we were finished, but here we are at the top of the pile. And I'm the little cute one. Yeah, I'm the quirky little elfin one.

She's the greatest. And she's in our prayers. Yeah, Dixie Chick. That's her name. That's all of their names. No, that's their manager's name. Dick C. Chick. their names and speaking no that's their manager's name dick sea chick a lot of three stooges humor coming out remember they do like the uh lawyer names i don't i maybe have never seen a three

stooges oh really yeah we'll get back to that soon enough uh our guest today uh one of our first ever guests yeah uh and i'd say our third ever guest. Third ever guest. And a long-standing, many times returning guest, a very funny comedian, Miss Jane Stanton. Hello! Hello!

Hello! Let's get to know us. You've never seen a Three Stoges i i've like maybe i haven't seen a whole one that's for sure the lawyers they were like do we cheat them and how right right uh that's what humor was back in the day yeah uncle stuff stuff that your uncle still repeats have Have you ever seen a Three Stooges movie, Jane? I've never. I'm the same, like, bits of them. Yeah, yeah.

They made entire movies? Well, no. I thought they were TV shows. No, they were shorts. They never made a feature film. Until the Farrelly's dug up their dusty old bones. Okay, so they were like shorts, like the same way that Bugs Bunny made films. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And I have seen a couple of their films. But at least Bugs Bunny made films. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I have seen a couple of their films. But at least Bugs Bunny made, like, Space Jam. I mean, I think there was a Three Stooges movie where they played with a basket, you know, the basketball players of their day. Yeah, all white. Yeah, all white, wearing, you know, woolen jumpsuits. With peach baskets.

Yeah, John Purse. So, okay, we've covered first issue out of the way three stooges covered jane what is new what's going on i think the reason i've never seen a stooges movie is uh it just didn't look very funny yeah and it was like the prototypical thing that guys like yeah like oh you know my husband's into three stooges and i'm into flowers i'm into three ways three sums yeah enjoy your stooges i'll be out back with the uh these swingers yeah larry and moee from our swinging community. Pretty great. Yeah.

Pretty great all around. Jane, what's new? I was just in Europe. I went to Europe for like almost a month. And you went, this was like a family outing. Yep. It was like nine people, Brady Bunch style. Your family? My family.

Not just our family? I went with my family and then I joined to another family. It was, yeah, my family. It was my parents' 50th anniversary in last year. Right. And then- Happy anniversary. Yeah.

To the Sancons. And we all went away, and- Where did you go? You went, Europe's a big place. We went to Ypres in Belgium. Okay. And then we went to Vimy Ridge. That was a fun day. Yeah, I bet. It was so fun. I was like,

wow! The party never stops at Vimy Ridge. Yeah, that was like the boom, boom. Vimy Ridge is a World War I place? World War II. Read a book. One. One. Two. Read a book you. Yeah, code of read a book you.

That seems like Three Stooges. Read a book you. Yeah. Code of read a book you. That seems like three stooges. Read a book you. Boink. Awoo. This episode is going to have the most awoogas. Went there. Was it a site of our triumph or our failure? It was one of the best.

It's the first time that Canada went together and then... The marriage! Yeah, they did that. And they got it. And it would have been one day, but the last area was called the Pimple. And it took four days to get that area. Oh, it's like the Hanukkah story. Yes.

So, what did you go on? Like a guided tour? Yeah. And those guided tours pretty often are terrible, right? They usually are. I didn't want to do this at all. And then it was amazing. Was this a parent pick? It was.

It was my mom's. I really want to go before I'm dead. I'm like, oh. Can we go after? I promise I'll go. And then we had to go down in the tunnels where they all were. Oh, really? Yeah.

Those are still there? Are they still there? They are still there. In their trench coats? That would be in poor taste if there was, like, animatronics down there. Peeing on their handkerchiefs? No, yeah. Singing happy birthday to you.

They say it's your birthday. Singing happy birthday to you. They say it's your birthday. So, I find that those guided tours, I always think they're going to be terrible. But they're never terrible. Because they're, unless they're really long. This was long, but it was good. I think the thing that I don't like about guided tours is that a lot of times they will stop and and say does anybody have any questions and then you get the idiot and then some when's the tacos

or or a guy who just read a book and is like trying to impress everyone else on the tour that did happen one guy kept going what about 1927 i'm like this has been four hours of death camp. It's come on. It's a long time. And then we went to Paris and my mom was robbed. Oh, what? Like classic... Pickpocket. Classic.

She was wearing, I like to say robbed, it's better, right? Wearing a fanny pack, which I kept saying, don't wear a fanny pack. Just in general. That's a good note. And then my dad was robbed. What? Wearing a fanny pack, which I kept saying, don't wear a fanny pack. Just in general. That's a good note. Yeah. And then my dad was robbed. What? Not the same day.

Different day. Oh, well, it's different days. And then my sister was robbed all in Paris. Were you guys all wearing some kind of tourist shirt? Yeah. Yeah. Hats. T-shirt.

Just taking photos of everything. Socks and sandals. Holding money. Where do we go? I'm lost. Oh, my wristwatch is so loose. So all three of them got pickpocketed? At different times.

Really? Yeah. How does that happen? Because wouldn't you feel it? Yeah, I am paranoid about that. I am super paranoid. But my mom, I went in a different train than my mom. I said, I'm not going with the old people.

They stick up like it's her mom. So we arrived into Paris, and I could see my mom trying to get out. And there was a guy, had his arm like a magician in front of her, wouldn't let her out, and had a bag, and then holding it with the bag, and then went in, just took her wallet. And then when she walked out, she went, that's my pen. And then she was like, I was robbed. Oh, man.

Terrible. Oh, that would feel the worst. Yeah. Yeah. It was all their credit cards. And right away, they tried to spend like $2,500 on every single one. Boom, boom, boom. And did they succeed?

They did on one of them. The one that we phoned. They're like, okay, but the one's pending right now for $800. We're phoning right now. Cancel it. Yeah. Yeah, but it's pending. No, we're canceling.

It's stolen. Yeah. Somebody bought a mink fur hat. Is that you? And then my dad was going to the museum, and a guy, he supposedly had the tilly pants that you can't the impenetrable yes but someone got it and my dad then chased after the guy your dad's a runner yes yeah but they had stolen his pants yeah couldn't get it how did they get into the impenetrable pants i don't know my dad's really skinny so it's probably easy. Tilly is a traveler store for the aged.

I think it's literally the pinpoint to let's rob that. My mom was wearing the Tilly hat. They're like, there's another. Who's the youngest person who's ever shopped at Tilly? Probably me. 38. I was covered head to toe in Tilly. Jade, are you going to Africa? I am in Paris. Let's do this. Yeah, I am super paranoid about pickpocketing.

Huge. I wear a money belt. Right now. In Canada, even? No, but London I did. Everywhere. Italy, I was like... See, because that was... When I was in London, there were signs everywhere that said pickpockets operate in this area. Like, it seemed like that was a sign that said, like, it was okay for pickpockets to operate in this area.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is a pickpocket sign. This is where you do it. But do you get that if somebody bumps into you? Do you always check to see if somebody has stolen your wallet? If somebody even looks at me, I'll be like... He's levitated it out of your pocket. Sometimes I'll be in a place where it seems kind of sketchy, and I'll move the wallet

from my back pocket to my front pocket. And then 30 seconds later, I'll check my back pocket, and it won't be there, and I'll freak out. And then I'll say, I'm dumb. So did anybody charge anything else, or was it just on your mom's card? Mom, they tried on my dad's. And then me, my brother, and sister were almost all robbed right before this whole thing. My mom's like, I want to see a church in this city.

I'm like, this is the worst city. Let's go to St. Robbers. This is the worst place ever. Oliver Twist Church, St. Hamburglar. So there was like nine suitcases that me, my brother, and sister are holding. They're like, we'll be back in 20 minutes. An hour and a half later, in the very beginning, I'm like, those two guys are totally going to rob us.

They're checking us out. Yeah. I went to the washroom, came back, and one guy was super close. And then I was getting nervous, so I just took out my iPhone and took a picture of him on purpose. I don't know what that was going to do. And then I went up to the other guy. He steals your iPhone.

And you're like, yeah. Exactly what I was looking for. And you said, I stole your soul. And then they walked up towards us and we stood there like elephants

protecting their little baby elephants. I was like, not my house. If you're going to steal anyone's, steal the old people's. Tilly bags. Just take the tilly bag.

Oh, man. Do you guys know with a Tilly, everything is for life? Like, if you have a Tilly hat and it, like, gets... It ruins anything, you can go and return it. Really? Who works for Tilly? I do. Like, forever.

If a couple is wearing Tilly, their marriage is for life? Yes. They will mate for life. Yes. Only if they get married in Tilly tuxedos. With all of their chest pockets? Yeah, Tilly tuxes. It's the only tuxedo with a vest over top of a jacket.

They're undivorceable. Are traveler's checks still a thing? I don't think so, but I... Well, probably not, because everybody... Now your credit card works everywhere yeah and debit too yeah so i don't like because travel checks used to be like i don't know what they were checks yeah i don't actually know what they are i guess you bought them and they were like writing a check to yourself that you could cash at a hotel or a bank. You bought the money.

It counted as money. You go to the bank. It would be $500. You give them the $500, and they give you the checks. So it counted as cash. It's just because you had to sign it and have your passport number. And where would you – you would cash it at a hotel? Hotel or a bank, yeah.

Maybe a train station. It seems like traveler checks is the same era as a payphone that seems like those two things in a movie would make sense together yeah if you're like give me a payphone i got a call about my traveler's checks seems like a sentence yeah if you were writing a travel movie if you were if you've been waiting uh 20 years to sell your script about a madcap uh travel adventure it's not gonna work out because there are neither of those things anymore yeah well there there's a shit ton of phone booths in london they're everywhere most of them don't work i think yeah they're just there for do they have

internet uh i've seen internet phone booth when i was there 10 years ago they had like little keyboards on them and you could uh you go have a wank um so you guys were nearly robbed was that the whole was that the totality of the trip was uh fending off fending your possessions against the french yes and then went to sorrento what's's that? In Italy. Oh, in Kia. Yeah. And was that, like, what time of year was this? Was it May? June, July.

Oh, it's beautiful there. And then. It's beautiful there then. We went, like, four of us went to Positano, and it was, like, 40 degrees. I'm not good in heat ever, ever. And I was applying 50, but I didn't look to see not waterproof so i was in the water the whole day i got so red really like i and we should say like you're a redhead i'm really fair you're fair freckly yeah and it was disturbing i was that person that people were like ew gross

why are they even out like the next the next day, people were like... People are, like, putting back their lobster on the plate. I'm not hungry anymore. It was, and it was only, like, legs. The worst. I kept applying. I'm like, oh, 50, good work, Jane. I think sunburns make you stand out more as a tourist than any other thing.

More than your wardrobe or your English. That's true, because who's getting a sunburn if they're just a local? Yeah, no, good call. So did you, like, did you peel? Like a snake? Did you, like, get a whole second set of legs? Yeah. You could hang up.

I brought them back with me. Gross. Yeah. It was, yeah. I had to spend a lot of money on aloe vera and solar cane stuff. That's where they get you. Yeah. And I went to London.

I'd never been to London. No? It was fun, yeah. What was your favorite destination the whole trip? This was pre-Olympics you went to London. No? It was fun, yeah. What was your favorite destination the whole trip? This was pre-Olympics you went to London? Yes. Two, Sorrento and London. What was so

good about London? What did you like about it? I loved... What did you do? I did the stupid bus tours. I did it. The hop on, hop off. I went outside London. Eastbourne and brighton and stuff and those were great and i did a couple shows there yeah they were good that's good yeah there's a guy that looked like you in like 40 years yeah i look like me in 40 years in the front row and he's like looked like a sailor and it was just like so you look like a sailor. Yeah. That's what everybody tells me.

All the women in your neighborhood are like, hey, sailor. Yeah. So, welcome back. Thanks. And anything else? Like, post-vacation? Yeah, I did a stupid thing. What?

Comedy thing. You got involved in the robbing business. I got raped. Oh, Jane! In the comedy competition. I got involved in the robbing business. I got raped. Oh, Jane! In the comedy competition. I have the check still in my fucking wallet. Oh, you won! You won a check! Yeah, you got a check. That's pretty good.

Was it a traveler's check? You just have to find the right hotel to cash. And the right signature. You were in a competition, and it was not the most fun thing. But I was in it. I got kicked out in the first week.

Usually competitions are really enjoyable. Yeah, that's true. And they bring people together. Yeah, they bring out the best in comedy. It really does. Yeah, I don't know why I'm so angry. And you know what? It's good for the community.

It's good for comedy in general. I'd say competitions are the peak of comedy, followed by showcases. Yeah, oh, absolutely. Showcases are great. And then I would say, you know, also— Bringer rooms, third. Bringer rooms are good. Bringer rooms are good.

If you can combine the three of those, a competition, a showcase, and a ring. Then we have something. I don't know what we should call it, but they should do it and give out $20,000. Because that was the thing in this competition that we were in. I was in the very first week of it. And on the first night, I was told that the rules were that you got to vote for every drink that you bought. The audience did. Also the comedians.

The comedians can. Yeah, because one night, on the second night, I decided to really just go for it. And I ended up with like seven votes. But you got so drunk you voted for other people. I'm voting for Grassley Clamp. Yeah, my best friend.

He's third. He didn't have that kind of a set. I'm voting for Dewey,. Yeah, my best friend. He's third. He didn't have that kind of a set. I'm voting for Dewey, Cheatham, and Howe. Yeah, so you were in this. But you got a check. You got something out of it. That's pretty good. I guess.

Aw. What? I didn't bring it up. You brought it up. I did. It was horrible. Maybe that'll be it. No more brought it up. I did. It was horrible. Maybe that'll be it. No more competitions, maybe.

No more. It's stupid. Yeah. I think if Eurovision, if your submission gets accepted by Eurovision, you should still do that one. Yes. Who are you singing for this year? Latvia? Yes.

Sorrento? That's not that great. Sorrento doing her sunburned sonnet. Yeah, you should change your name to Sorrento doing her sunburned sonnet yeah you should change your name to Sorrento Sorrento Stanton that's pretty good that sounds very exotic so no more competitions

no more no more Tilly but possibly Jennifer Tilly but not Meg no no no, no. This is 2012. Which one is the better looking one? I thought Meg was the cute one.

Jennifer is the... The high-pitched voice. Yeah, the high-pitched voice who's been... Yeah, yeah, yeah, like that. Who's sort of gotten... You're welcome. I think Meg kind of retired a few years ago. No, she was just...

The one that was in The Big Chill. That's Meg. Okay. And then recently she was in that Canadian Bomb Girls. Oh. Because she lives in Gibson or something. She lives in this area, yeah. Which one's the one that's the gambler?

Jennifer. That's Jennifer. Okay. You could say, which one has the huge tits? Yeah. Jane actually does a really good Jennifer Tilly impression. I did. I just already did it

You're welcome What was it? I'm Jennifer Tilly Hello I'm Campbellin I.P. Campbellin So, well, welcome back We're glad you survived

You didn't get robbed You were in the minority of the family Or majority when it comes to being robbed in Europe? I'd say majority. Three out of nine got robbed. How much like- 33%. How much was traveling with your family like being in the movie Vacation?

Like Griswold style. Yes, thank you. Combined with Real Housewives of Vancouver, my family is ridiculous. They're like giant fights in front of everyone. I'm like, oh, my God. So it was your parents? Yeah. How many siblings do you have?

I have three. So a family of six. Were there more people? We adopted a couple people. My sister's husband and their kids. Right. Oh, right. Ugh. Tell, right. Ugh.

Tell me more. Yeah, like, when was the last time you went on a family vacation? Probably a long time ago? Yeah, you have to think, because that's the thing. You don't want to go with them. Like, my dad just phoned, do you want to come for family dinner just on Sunday? I'm like, no! I love my family.

I do, but like... I don't go on vacations with them, but I go for dinner with them all the time. I think dinner and a vacation, like if you had to imagine eating that dinner, but eight or nine times in a row. Yeah, it's, um, we, uh... Did you share a hotel room? That's what

I was just gonna get to. I just share a room with my mom and dad in London and a double bed with my mom and dad in London and a double bed with my sister. A double bed? Yes. Was it their actual anniversary night and they were feeling romantic?

Yeah. They were like, we're gonna make another sister. How many 50th anniversaries end in sex? All of them. Well, what else? Time to call it in sex. All of them. Yeah. Well, what else? Oh, like, well, time to call it a night. Yeah.

Love you, too. Yeah. Oh, I'm pretty full from that cake. Where's my reader's digest? That's a couple. That's a couple. That's a way couples sound when they talk to each other. When I have my 50th anniversary, knock on, what is this, wood? Yep.

I will be 80. But in the future, that'll be young. Yeah, absolutely. 80 will be the new 20. With reverse age inflation. Why can't I get a job? Did your parents get a letter

from the Queen? No. From the Pope? My mom didn't want to do it. Oh, from Henry Winkler? I think he writes them. Yes, he does. The queen will write you a letter if you turn 100 or have a 50-year anniversary? Yeah. I think more people have a 50-year anniversary.

Yeah. But she'll... What if it happens on the same year? Does she get mad? Oh, I'm writing you again? She just does funny things on the headshot. Sometimes she makes it like she's smoking a cigar. She draws a cigar coming out of her mouth.

And she writes, Smoking! I feel like my dad got a letter once. Hey, stop writing to us about getting a letter. Not from the queen, but like from the premier or something Someone wrote, like when my dad turned 60 maybe Someone wrote or sent away for a letter from someone I don't know

Like 60, no And he was embarrassed Yeah, I've never gotten a letter Do you know anyone who's got a queen letter? Yep, my grandparents They got a queen letter and they got a pope letter. What's the pope letter for? You can write to the

pope. I think it's the same thing. Anniversary. You can get for a wedding anniversary if you're in the Catholic church. One Vatican drive. H-O-H-O-H-O. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Yeah, pope. They had that one by Pope John Paul. And then, yeah, Pope, they had that one by Pope John Paul. And then, yeah, the Queen.

And Queen the Band. Could you write the new Pope and say, oh, we never got our letter from the old Pope? Please write us. Yeah, probably. We wrote to him when he was very sick. That's mostly all he does is just sit at a giant golden desk and just sign autographs. Popes are weird. Yeah.

I don't know that you say it. They are. They're super weird. Well, when I was a kid, I found it strange that this pope wasn't the first pope ever. Like, when John Paul II, I was like, what? There was a John Paul I? Who made this guy? I'm not a Catholic,

so no one had told me the Pope rule. Who made him? He got made after he did certain tasks that the Don had assigned him. And then he was made. Oh, Lordy. Oh, Popes. Dave, what's going on with you? Well,

you and I have spent the weekend. Sounds romantic. That's right. Finally, we got away you and I spent the weekend. Sounds romantic. That's right. Finally, we got away. Got out of the city. We went to Toronto. And we haven't released the episode yet. It'll be released

by the time this episode is out. Special bonus ep. Yeah, we recorded a bonus live episode from the Comedy Bar in Toronto featuring Ms. Debra DiGiovanni. And thanks to everyone who came out for that. Yeah, you guys were great. The greatest. It was a fun trip.

Yeah. We met Brett the Hitman Hart. Which is amazing. No, you didn't. Yeah, absolutely. We got a picture taken with him and everything. What? Why have not been...

It's on the internet. Okay. Just go to internet. Well, we'll post it on this episode recap. Internet. And the day after that, I went to the Hockey Hall of Fame, which is something I had to do. Yeah. As a hockey fan and as a Canadian who grew up in...

And I'm a huge hockey fan. And I maybe spent half an hour there. There's not a lot. I know that you showed me the entirety of the pictures you took, and they were all of sweaters. Yeah, of literal knitwear. Like a cardigan owned by Ace Bailey. Wait, no, Ace Bailey seems like an old name, but he's a pretty recent guy who died in 9-11. Oh, geez.

Yikes. That was nice, Dave. Yeah, so I went to that. It was fine. I was done in half an hour, and I'm like, I guess I'll kill more time in the gift shop. Uh, but they didn't have any, they had some of those, have you seen those fake tattoo sleeves?

Oh, yeah. No. Um, they're like, they're like, uh, made out of pantyhose material. Yeah, they're like a nylon, and so it looks like you have a tattoo sleeve. Yeah. What are you, people buy this? Yeah, that's, uh, that's all I do with my spending money. Usually they'll have like, you know, roses or whatever people tattoo on their arms.

But in the Hockey Hall of Fame gift shop, they had different team logos on them, but they didn't have my, the side that I support, as they say in soccer. Who's your team? Vancouver. Okay. I thought it was some other team. The Florida Panthers. I support Manchester City.

The flying light blues. And you and I had breakfast one day in the middle of the Busker Festival. Oh, yeah, yeah. It was the Busker Festival. The highest concentration of headset microphones. I'm losing my mind. You know I hate buskers. Yeah.

I remember once trying to... Do we talk about this on the episode? We were down by the beach, and there was a busker asking for volunteers, and I pushed Jay for it, and he freaked. I did a spin-off. I pushed, like, I pushed Jay forward, and he freaked, like, I just pushed her into, like, a fire. I did a spin-out. Like a basketball player.

But you were screaming the whole time. It was great. Whatever fragile confidence the busker had at that moment snapped. Yeah, it wasn't bad, actually. How many buskers were there? That's what made it not so bad. It was like three or four streets long, and there was maybe two buskers a street. Too, too many.

And also on every street, like 50 food vendors, so it was kind of great. And there was the, did you see, was there, and there was the Pepsi challenge, which is back. Yeah. There was a lady that was doing that. Um, it was, she was like suspended from a beam and she was like going up and down like two pieces of, uh,

cloth. Yeah. You know, you've seen that before, uh, watching the expression on like the kids faces that were in the front row watching this lady do it it was just like them all going through puberty all at the same time because it was like pretty erotic right like it's well if you're a cloth

i have no clue what you guys are talking have you never seen like the cirque de soleil like there's two yeah they're they're not hanging from a rope. They're hanging from, like, a... Oh, a rib... And they use it and they flop down and stuff. Okay. Yeah. And then, you know, she was wearing, like, just, you know, like...

Her butt was everywhere. And it was just the greatest. These kids learning about science. And then I... What else did I do Saturday? Hung out with some friends Ate some Ethiopian food And then we went to a show

Called Rap Battles Which was a lot of fun It was so great If you're listening from Toronto Check that show out They were nominated for an award I don't think they won There was a guy who did a rap.

This wonderful gentleman did a rap. Yeah, there was a lot of rapping. And he called himself Triple Crown. Yeah. And he was the rapper who wanted to be a horse. I could go into more detail, but I couldn't do it justice. The highlight, personally, was at the beginning of the show, the owner of the comedy bar, Gary Rideout, came in and played like a Vince McMahon character. He was going to shut down the show.

Everybody hates this dumb show. We're shutting it down. And then they call on Brett the Hitman Hart comes out and puts Gary in like a sharpshooter uh submission hold it was the greatest is that why he was there then just for that he just hangs out there yeah he's a big comedy fan and whenever he's in town he hangs out there yeah okay pretty great right yeah this is amazing yeah it is and alan thick was there watching rap battles as well yeah um uh we saw our friend evany rosen perform uh as dame judy dench that was great uh and then uh the next morning i had to i couldn't stay for the actual awards ceremony so i had to leave town the next morning to go to my cousin's wedding here in

vancouver and congrats congrats cuz oh and the wedding um there's a few things that happen at weddings that every time i go i'm like oh why can't why can't this happen the way that i want it and even at my own wedding you show up wearing white even at my own i've only been to like a handful of weddings so even at my own wedding i forgot that oh the thing that i always want when they serve cake is milk. Like they should have one of those giant silver milk, like the old timey for milk bars.

But they didn't have that because no one ever does. But they did have something that never occurred to me. And when they were serving dinner, one of the options was a turkey dinner with stuffing and cranberry sauce and gravy

and potatoes. And that was pretty great. Yeah, and then you just went to bed. Yeah, exactly. Wow. Yeah, usually it's like chicken or fish, but they were like or Christmas dinner dinner or goose um you're right about the the milk thing because always at weddings they just give you a slab of cake and you just wash it down with champagne yeah that's true there should i mean there should

at least be the option of ice cream right that should be the the half yeah we're not animals yeah exactly oh boy yeah um how long was the ceremony nice nice and short uh ceremony was half hour yeah that's long it does seem long maybe 20 minutes it wasn't long it wasn't long would you like it if you showed up to a wedding and they had already done the wedding uh or that part in a previous ceremony like they do at the oscars with the technical awards they're like they already were married oh yeah and then they just show the highlights yeah Charlize Theron was there they always have a beautiful woman host these awards yeah because they don't never Lee Hills Hotel yeah they don't need to get someone who's funny, because they're not going to show you any of the monologue. Yeah, so, great wedding, great awards.

Yep. Thanks, everybody. Yeah, absolutely. I don't know what else. I think that's it for me. Well, that's pretty good. Yeah. That's a lot.

What do we... Oh, I was really happy to see that our friends at the sunday service uh uh we've had all of the members of the sunday service improv troupe on our show before past and present uh and they um especially taz van rassel our guest a couple weeks ago he's been nominated like 10 times yeah yeah yeah no one from one from Vancouver ever wins these awards. But we did, Vancouver as a city did very well because the Sunday Service

won. This is that, who we've had both Pete and Pat on the show. They won for Best Radio Show. Oh, did they? Okay, awesome. The Best Web Internet Clip was something that was made here in Vancouver. Yeah, but no one knows these people, but apparently it's from Vancouver.

That was the only one that I had seen. It's the Riverdale one. Have you ever seen it? Yeah, it's funny. It's like a dramatic trailer. It's a trailer for a dramatic live-action Archie movie. It's really good. So it won,

and then the podcast. More often than not, it's really good. And so it won, and then the podcast. So that more often than not, it's just everybody would be from the East. And it's very... My family is very supportive, but when we were mentioned in the newspaper

on Monday morning, my dad did call me to say that they got my name wrong. Your last name? No. Winners, Graham Clark and Davey Shumka. I like it. Yeah, me too. Davey Shumka's not bad at all.

Yeah, it's got a real monkey's flair to it. So, yeah. Thanks, everybody. Graham. Yeah. What's up with you? Well, along the lines of the awards show thing, the trophy that we got for the award is very sharp. Were you allowed to carry it on the plane?

Yeah, I put it in my bag, and I was carrying it around my back pocket for most of the night, because I didn't know where to put it. It's heavy! Yeah, yeah, my pants were sagging way low. It's heavy on your knees! Yeah. But at one point, I put it on a table.

We ended up going for shots at Jack Astor's. Like, shots! Yeah. And I put it down on a table and either a bar staff or somebody else moved the table. Wasn't there a party after the awards? You get swept up in these things.

All of a sudden you're at Jack Astor's. Doing shots. Then you wake up in a hot tub at the Beverly Hilton with Charlize Theron. And the award for best lens goes to this guy who designed a lens. Yeah. Frankie Lenz. So, anyway, somebody moved the table and the war toppled and I caught it.

Tom Cruise in riskyky Business style. Right. And that was, to me, was the achievement of the night. Because everybody at the table was like, yes, bravo. So that was great. I've never seen Risky Business. He has to, like, rescue a, it's like a glass egg. Rescue business is why it's called that.

Yeah. Why does he have to do the egg thing, though? Because. Doesn't he become a pimp? Yeah. Why does he have to do the egg thing, though? Doesn't he become a pimp? Yeah. I think he wants to have sex. He's a virgin. Gets an escort. They have sex.

Something happens with the egg. He dances to old-time rock and roll. Well, it's because the place... Live. Wayfarers. Tiny Whites. I'm gonna listen to them. Oxford Shirt.

Yeah. Did I mention socks? Yeah. I'm a rock and roll. Bob Seger. I'm gonna stick me through a disco. He's destroyed the place and his parents are coming home

and that's the last thing that's not... Wasn't it the car? Something, the parents' car? No, that's Ferris Bueller's day off. Are you thinking of the episode of Saved by the Bell where... That's where that came from. Where Screech's mother, played by Ruth Buzzy, comes back from an Elvis convention.

Elvis Stoico convention. And her ceramic bust of Elvis the Pelvis Stoico nearly lands on the floor. He's got to put back the glass egg or whatever, and then his friend throws it like a football, and he catches it and puts it back on the mantel just as the parents are walking. I know, but he has a big hooker catches it and he puts it back on the mantel just as the parents were walking I know but he has

a big hooker party and all like the escort that he starts dating they rent the rooms they rent the rooms and people will have sex with hookers

for what reason to buy a new glass egg no for to climax to have orgasm yeah you need to bring money

first you get the money then you get the women then you get the glass egg yeah climax to have orgasms. You need to bring money. First you get the money, then you get the women. Then you get the glass egg. Then you have the orgasms. Al Pacino. What does one feel like? Oh, it just feels like the most wonderful drug.

So that happened, and the awards were great. And seeing everybody out there, and there's a lot of people that have been on the podcast, there's just people that we know that you don't get to see all the time. That we would never have on the podcast. Never, ever. And then here's this weird thing.

So this is un-awards related is I'm wearing this shirt and it says you're going to die anyways and it's got a picture of a skeleton drinking a martini and smoking a joint I guess when I first saw that I thought that was Ahmed the dead terrorist yeah yeah I did too

from Jeff Dunham I can't be friends with you and it's from ronshock.com From Jeff Dunham. I can't be friends with you. Yeah. And it's from ronshock.com. Ronshock is a comedian who passed away two months ago. And I got this in the mail like four days ago from, it's on the package, it's from Ronshock. And I don't know why, I have no idea why it was sent to my house. Oh, okay. Like, I can't remember, like, maybe I donated to something, but I have no memory of it, so I just got this package.

You do a lot of blackout donating. I know! It said, R. Schock on it, and I was like, that's weird. Because it was from Vegas, and that's where Ron Shock lived. And I just know that because I heard him on WTF. But then I was like, but he's also passed away. So what the fuck is this? And the shirt is morbid. Yeah, and the shirt is also about, yeah, you're going to die.

And it's morbidly obese. Yeah, it is a giant shirt as well. And it's morbidly obese. Yeah, it is a giant shirt as well. So is that weird that I got a package from a guy who's passed away that I don't remember how I got it? It was addressed to me. It had my address on it. I feel like this would be a good start of an adventure. Oh, yeah, but what do I do next?

Choose your own adventure. What I did was wash the shirt, and now I'm wearing it. So now what? Do you wash all your clothes before you wear them? Nope. Okay. I mean, okay, confession. I wore it the day that it showed up.

I sweated blood all over it. Yeah, it didn't take me long. As you know, novelty shirts, shirts that are left behind at my house, things like that make their way into my wardrobe very quickly. But stuff you buy secondhand, do you wash before you wear it? Yeah. But not all the time. 32%.

Yeah. Did you see that Elvis's underwear is going up for auction? And they showed a picture of it, and it has stains on it. Oh, really? And it's expected to fetch about $16,000. Would you, would you, just to have the story,

wear that underwear? Yes! I like a good story. Beginning, middle, raising the stakes, underwear, end. End. So, raising the stakes, underwear, and denouement. So what does the shirt mean? I don't know what it means.

I guess it means you're going to die anyway. Yeah, it's just about, I guess, like, hey, you know, just be a drunk skeleton. Yeah. Yeah, do whatever you want. But it's, you're right, maybe I should go to Vegas? Maybe I should follow up on this. Yeah, sure. Dave, we're going to Vegas. Yes.

I didn't know he was doing that song until right now yeah so that's it beginning of a strange mystery Goonie style more to come do you think that if I flip the shirt inside out there may be a treasure map

I think what you got was this is a clue it's the first Maybe I should go to RonChalk.com That seems like the logical place to start Right, it's a real national treasure Yeah, well guys I'll see you on the other side of my

Benjamin Franklin glasses Yeah Also I watched on the plane This is unrelated, but I watched Avengers finally Have you seen that? No, I was sitting behind watched on the plane. This is unrelated, but I watched Avengers finally. Have you seen that? No, I was sitting behind you on the plane. Oh, yeah, that's right.

Did you see any of it through the seats? No, I didn't. You know, whatever. But here's something that I thought the whole movie is. I was like, wasn't there a movie called The Avengers Down Under? And I thought about it the whole movie. And it was only yesterday. It was like, oh, no, it was called Rescuers Down Under. It wasn't Avengers Down Under.

That's when you were 10 years old. Yeah, but that was front of my mind the whole time. How was the movie? Was it horrible? No, it's fine. It's fine. Wasn't there a show called Captain America, Five Little Ghosts of West? But the whole movie, I was like, wasn't there something called Avengers Down Under?

But Disney wouldn't make a movie called Avengers or something. Although, doesn't Disney own Marvel? Yeah, so technically they did make a movie. So these Avengers, what are they avenging exactly well they have an event they're not avenging anything well then why do they call themselves that because the preemptors is a weird the pre avengers yeah it's have they been wronged in any way or are they just uh there's a guy that wants to destroy uh earth some reason. So this is like a comic book. Yeah, it's a comic book thing.

What did you think it was? I can't even tell you because you're just both going to laugh at me. No, I would really like to know what you thought it was. I don't want to know. I want to protect your privacy. What did you think it was? I thought The Avengers was that movie with... With Matthew McConaughey, the Lincoln lawyer?

Yes! Is that what you thought it Lincoln lawyer yes no I thought it was uh oh fuck I can't even do this Ralph Fiennes Ralph Fiennes oh yeah that was also the event that is also called the event

thank you yeah okay with Uma Thurman yeah as Emma Peel as Emma Stone um I was also

I thought you can't do the same name for a movie. You shouldn't be able to. Yeah, but there's two Chariots of Fire. There's the Chariots of Fire, the running one, and then the one with the three stooges where they light a chariot on fire. I don't. Anyways, Avengers. Do we chariot and fire

do we light them and fire um yeah so the avengers have avenged uh don't spoil it no sorry they don't oh maybe they do they're given the opportunity to avenge i know that the one thing in it is that they're looking for a Power Cube. Okay. You're thinking of the Transformers. Honest to God, I was like, did you guys not see Transformers while you were writing the script? Power Cube. Power Cube from another planet.

That's also what happens in that Bouillon movie. That stupid French film. Three Kings. So, we're, you know. We're back. We're better than ever. We're award winning. Absolutely.

And I'm going on a crazy adventure. So, I'll see you in six to eight weeks. I'm going to mail myself back to that address and go from there. Do you want to move on to Overheard? Sure. Overheard. Overheard. and go from there. Do you want to move on to Overheards? Sure! Overheard! Overheards! Things out in the world. Your

speech bubbles, but in real time. Things that you hear and know. Never am. Before Overheards. What is it now? Now? Oh! It's time for... James Melting! It's time for my now. Um. Oh. Dave's melting.

Time for my favorite segment on the show. A segment that I call Frustrated Dave's Celebrity Birthdays. Um. Celebrity Birthdays is a time of the show when we celebrate the best at celebrity birthdays. This week's best of celebrity birthdays is September 4th-ish.

We are celebrating a bunch of celebrities and their birthdays. And you know what? The past few weeks we've been doing something called celebrity blurt days. Yeah. Where I tell you the name of the celebrity and you blurt out the first word that comes to your mind. Yeah. And it has turned into more and more of a train wreck. And I think that's what I like about it.

Oh, okay. So are we doing Celebrity Blurt Days? We're doing Celebrity Blurt Days. Oh, fine. These are birthdays celebrated by celebrities on this September 4th. Happy Celebrity Blurt Day to the following celebrities. Starting now with this one. I don't like this at all.

Here comes your first celebrity. It's their Blurt Day. Happy Celebrity Blurt Day. Happy Celebrity Blurt Day to you. Whitney Cummings. Oh, she goes to the handler. Whore. What? I don't know. Why?

She's not. I know, it just came to my head. That wasn't a very good Blurt. Don't you usually interrupt at some point? Why do you think I was dragging out the introduction? I thought you were just doing that to be No, I was doing it to help a brother out.

And I didn't help a brother out in return. You were just watching him laugh. Speaking of brothers, it's time for my favorite segment about a guy who often uses that word in casual conversation, Mr. Hulk Hogan. Brother. It's a Hulk Hogan news.

It's a Hulk Hogan news. Actually, a caller called in with a Hulk Hogan news theme. Oh, please. Oh, hey, guys. I got some Hulk Hogan news of music you're not going to use. Here we go. Dat, dat, dat, dat. Hulk Hogan news.

Pretty good. Yeah. Sweet and simple. Yeah dat. Hulk Hogan news. Pretty good. Sweet and simple. Dat Hulk Hogan news. Dat, dat, dat, dat. Hulk Hogan news. Sorry, let's try it again and harmonize. Dat, dat, dat. Well, no, I'll do the dat, dat, dat.

We'll harmonize the Hulk Hogan news. Dat, dat, dat, dat. Wait, which harmony are you going to do? Okay, I'll just do the regular Hogan news. All right. Da, da, da, da. Hulk Hogan. Wait, which harmony are you going to do? Up. Okay, I'll just do the regular one. Okay. Da, da, da, da. Hulk Hogan news.

There's a rest before the. That was good. Yeah, that wasn't bad at all. Hulk Hogan news. It's more dissonant than harmonic. Well, happy celebrity birthday. Wait a minute! Now,

here's the thing. Hulk Hogan news-wise, it's not really news. He posted a photo of the store, the sign for his store in Florida on the beach, where he sells

Hulk Hogan memorabilia. In the Florida Keys, there's a place called Kokomo. Yeah, and he, Hulkamo, will get there fast and will take our vitamins, brother. And it's classic. There's a thing that... What's the name of his store? I don't know. Good. There's a thing that... What's the name of his store? I don't know.

Crate and Barrel and Hulks. Hulk and Barrel. I don't know. I can't remember. It's called something like a mania. No, it's called Hogan's... It doesn't have Hulk in the title at all. Oh, classy. Hogan's Repeteria.

Mm-hmm. He... Oh, he should open a, like, a gyro stand and call it Hogan's Heroes. That's pretty good. Anyways, there's a thing that a lot of artists will do in a rendering of Hulk Hogan, where they draw him like he's got very defined musculature. And he doesn't in real life.

He's just like a really big dude. But always in these posters, like in the posters, he's got like a crazy eight pack. Yeah. But that's not, that's never been what Hulk Hogan looks like. None of his veins are coming to the surface. Yeah. Like he's always been- Have you seen him in real life, though?

I've seen actual video of him. Do you think that actually in person you can see his abs better than on television? Yes. So, anyways, the sign of his door has him very, like, you know, just crazy musculature. And so that's really the only news. But also, on this day in hogan history oh what day uh today the day of the podcast the 28th of august that we're recording we're recording he uh faced off against his movie opponent in the movie no holds barred he faced off with him

lightning flash lightning uh zeus yeah zeus creates flashlight yeah zeus uh brutus the barber beefcake and hulk hogan took on zeus and uh macho man randy savage yes favorite yeah and they were with scary sherry and uh hulk hogan was with miss elizabeth and the final decider was uh hulk hogan hit ze Zeus in the face with Scary Sherry's purse. I just watched the match today, and it holds up. In honor. Yeah. It's as good now as it was then.

But this was in wrestling. This wasn't in the movie. No, yeah. This was in actual real wrestling. In a mania. In a mania, yeah. Or a SummerSlam. Mm-hmm.

So, congratulations. I think Hulk Hogan, you were talking about his musculature. I think he's maybe the first guy I ever saw do that thing where he bounces his boobs up and down. Yeah. Ladies like that when a guy does that, right? Love it. I can do it a bit. Not with this shirt on, but you get it.

I think I can do it, but it just looks like I might be having a heart attack. Yeah. It may just look like... That looks like I might be having a heart attack. Yeah. Like, it may just look like... That's all I do. That's my clothes. Oh, yeah, Jane can do it really quite well. Yeah. I can do it, but I need to attach strings to my boobs.

Yeah. And then have a system of pulleys where I... That's why you wear those nipple rings. Happy Celebrity Blurt Day On this The 4th of September To Singer

Beyonce What was that? I was trying to think of a lyric with Beyonce in it And I just had a seizure Did either of you blurt anything out? You should have just gone girls I made a noise I couldn't do anything Whaturt anything out? You should have just gone girls. I made a noise. I couldn't do anything. What did you say?

You could have just gone girls. Yeah, sure. There's too much. That was the problem with Beyonce. There was too many things going through my head. Too much power. Well, get ready to blurt out something for this next celebrity. Absolutely. A happy 42nd birthday to Say Anything Star

and the cheese to Ad Rock's macaroni, Ioni Sky. I don't know who that is. Yes, you do. No, I don't. Who is it? Good blurts. That was a blurt. Chained, you are not getting it on the blurt.

I can't even say it. Okay. Years ago. That's like Beastie Boys. Well, I know who Ad-Rock is. Yeah, they used to be married. Ad-Rock of the Beastie Boys used to be married to Say Anything star Ione Skye, the daughter of folk singer Donovan Leach.

Donovan, Mellow Yellow. Oh, okay. Hurdy-Gurdy Man. Hurdy-Gurdy Man. Hurdy-Gurdy Man. Happy 52nd birthday to famous Waynes, Damon Waynes. Marlon. And I'm in color.

White chicks, that's better. Thank you. Damon Waynes wasn't in White Chicks. No, it was not. It was Marlon Waynes. They both did it together. Damon Waynes is not in White Chicks at all. He helped fund it.

Happy. And the final celebrity birthday. The answer to this week's celebrity blurt day trivia question. This TV doctor has the same hair as a Ken doll. Grey's Anatomy. Dr. Drew. Oh, Dr. Drew!

Adam Carolla. It's Dr. Drew, but good blurt. Happy 54th birthday. Graham, you win Celebrity Blurt Day. Yay! I thought it was Grey's Anatomy. Happy 54th birthday. Graham, you win Celebrity Blurt Day. Yay! As Jane didn't blurt out anything. I thought it was Grey's Anatomy. They're not doctors.

They're the exact same. A celebrity that plays a doctor. Thank you. Now, for realsies, overheard. Okay, now Jane, we like to start with the guest. I have two. Okay, we'll start with you and then we'll come back around. How about that?

Okay, I was just at the beach Appleside yesterday and... Applesider? Yeah, Applesider. That's the name of the beach. What did you say? Ambleside. Thank you. And there was like 14 year olds, max there were 15, all in their bikinis and they walked by

and they're like, are you gonna date him? She's like, I don't know. He's too tall. He's 6 foot 1. They're like, that is too him she's like i don't know he's too tall he's six foot one like that is too tall too tall to kiss and i lost it because she's like five five but i'm like oh man that sounds like a like a teen a teen drama too tall to kiss yeah the sweet valley twins Too Tall to Kiss. Too Tall to Kiss, yeah. The Sweet Valley Twins. Oh, man. Best book. What were the other teen series? There was Babysitter's Club, Sweet Valley Twins.

Wasn't there just a Sweet Valley High? Sweet Valley High. Shory. Shory booked, yeah. Jessica and Elizabeth. Ooh. Judy Blue? Goosebumps.

Yeah. Choose Your Own Adventure. That was more boys. Ooh. Judy Blue? Goosebumps. Yeah. Choose Your Own Adventure. That was more boys. Yeah. The Dawson Creek books. Yeah, the Dawson Creek novelizations. Pacey's Boat. What?

I don't... I never read any of those. I never read Party Boys or... Never read anything? What did you read Hardy Boys or never read anything. What did you read? Just one-off books. I don't think I read ever a series of books where it was this. Oh, no, I read Mickey Spillane's Mike Hammer books.

So I read those, which were great. Who was the guy who wrote the books that were all about horse racing? And they had cool covers. Oh, no, I'm thinking about a different thing. I'm thinking literally... Elmer Leonard does it a lot. No, there's a guy that literally just writes about... Dick Francis?

Yeah. Is that his name? I think that it's because it's all stories that take place at the horse track. Well, that's ridiculous. No, it's like Thomas Clancy writes about things that happen on a boat. Or a submarine. Okay, so we'll do another of your overheards. We'll come back around. Go.

Okay, mine. I have a few. A few have been racking up in the past few days. I guess this one was at 7-Eleven. And there were a couple of people. There was a guy in front of me in line, and there were two – or I guess there were two people in front of me in line, and there was a clerk.

There were two clerks working at 7-Eleven. Sorry. And there was another woman sort of standing off to the side, and then – Really standoffish-like. But she was there before me so uh when the uh customer in front of me left i was like oh you go ahead and she said no no no i'm waiting for this specific clerk and uh she she was like in her 30s and she had uh just handfuls of uh lottery tickets. Okay. And so she was waiting to talk to this specific 7-Eleven

clerk. And so when that clerk was finally done with their customer, who was also a female clerk, the clerk said to the woman, okay, what's your problem? Which you never hear in customer service. And the woman said,

listen, $5 means nothing to me. And then I walked out. But I'm assuming she was either bragging or... She was about to throw the hammer down. She was about to say she's a woman of principle. I think she won $5.

She was coming back to me like, you fucked up. I think she won $5. And she was coming back to me like, you fucked up. I think she won $5 and the woman wouldn't give it to her. Yeah. Yeah. Look, I'm not even here because I won $5. I'm here to tell you, 7-Eleven employee, that you're not the brightest bulb. Wow. So, yeah, a real, you're right about the standoffish.

Yeah. Well, I wonder how that ends it. If you're the one that that happened to, or was the crazy lady, one of them was probably crazy. I really, but she said it, like the clerk said, now what's your problem? She said it in such a way like you would say if, you know, you were working at a store and your friend showed up. Oh, yeah. Like, that's a guy. This guy.

Yeah. Get this guy out of here a guy. This guy. Yeah. Get this guy out of here. Let anybody in here. Yeah. What's your problem? There goes the neighborhood. Idiot. Pretty great.

Yeah. Mine is an overseen. Oof. From waiting in line at the airport. There were these two guys. And I don't think I've ever... Like, I mean, outside of a gym, I don't think I've ever seen two really muscly guys hanging out.

Like, I always thought, like, they would arrive separately at the gym and then hang out and be muscly. But these two guys were, like, going on, like, a vacation together. Oh, fun. Yeah, so they were wearing super tight shirts and, like, just, you you know with no sleeves like not sleeveless but like this tiny little strip of sleeve oh yeah like a girl's shirt yeah like a girl's shirt yeah a baby doll so and just just like like yeah like super weightlifting guys and

uh one of the two of them was wearing a chain and the pendant on the chain was a dumbbell it was a locket and inside there was a picture of his dumbbell yeah on one side it's the dumbbell on the other side it's oh so i've never seen that before so it's pretty great. When did your love affair... As a child, did you assume that when you grew up, you would have muscles? Yeah, I still do. Oh, really? I still hold that hope that I... Yeah, I think when I was a kid, I just assumed that that was something that was available to me.

It is available to us, theoretically. I mean, through love of lifting. Yeah, sure. Lifting and repetition. You could get it, but I picture the guys you're talking about don't have a job. They live at the gym. That's all they do. How did they afford to go on this luxury vacation?

I assume it was a luxury vacation. They live at home. Yeah, oh, absolutely. They live in the basement. They made a small fortune on whey powder. Yeah. Yeah. I think you could do...

What is the... Is there a practical need for muscles, or is it just vain? Yeah, I mean, there is if you work in a, like, job where you gotta lift. Yeah, I guess. You know, boulder mover, rock lifter. Dog walker. Dog walker. Dog walker. Barbell rearranger.

But even those are like, you would probably want a stronger core. Yeah. And like less, you know, showcase muscles. Oh, like you mean like actually like looking muscly? Yeah. Yeah, that's just for show. How are their legs? I feel like guys that are huge like that, they have tiny little girl legs.

The legs weren't, you know, they were nothing to write home about. They forget about the legs always. Yeah. Oh, no, it's hard. It's hard to gain weight in the legs. That's what the guys always say. It's harder to gain. Little lift-ups.

Huh? Lift-ups. Oh, you do lift-ups. No. Guys should do more lift-ups on their calves. Or guys should wear lift-ups in their shoes to make their calves look rounder. Wear some heels once in a while. Lift it up.

Well, wear your wallet in your sock. Absolutely. That's something your family could have learned. They could have learned that, yes. You have another overheard? I do, but yours was fantastic. Oh, thank you. When we were in Rome, we're sitting there and.

Sorry, let me just interrupt. When in Rome. When in Rome. Thank you. Me and my brother and sister were eating lunch. Awesome food. Americans come behind us.

There's nothing wrong with Americans. Sometimes. And they're like, oh, take a picture of it. It looks so good. It's like, what is the green stuff? It's pesto. Yeah, take a picture of it. It looks so good. It's like, what is the green stuff?

It's pesto. Yeah, take a picture of it. Then can we go to Subway to eat? I want to see their take on the classic Italian sub. So these people were walking up and just looking at... No, they took a picture of it and they split one meal, took a picture of it, and then went to Subway. And then they continued on that they've gone to Subway every day.

I mean, in Italy, you have to go do a quiz. Yeah, thank you. Yeah, Quiznos is the authentic Italian sandwich. Panini. I guess maybe they were on a budget. Maybe they were like, we only have arranged enough money To eat Subway three times a day And share one plate of pasta

No but they were Subway was better than the Italian food Oh they preferred it Just take a picture of it I don't want to eat it They want to take a picture of it and then tweet about it I gotta fill up my dumb food blog with something Yeah Throw it in a dog

Shots of my dumb Subway sandwiches. I would follow that food blog. Here's a sub I ate today. I got another veggie. I got a meatball sub. So good. Wednesday is repost day so I'm reposting one of my classic

subs that I ate. BMT special. Now we also have overheards that have been sent to us by listeners. If you want to do the same, you can send them into stoppodcastingyourself at gmail.com. And this first one comes to us from Matt S. in Brooklyn, New York. I recently attended the American Cheese Society conference in Raleigh, North Carolina. Raleigh. Is it Raleigh? Raleigh. Raleigh. Raleigh. Raleigh, North Carolina. Raleigh. Is it Raleigh?

Raleigh? Raleigh. Raleigh. Raleigh. The American Cheese Society conference in Raleigh, North Carolina, which is the giant event of the year, bringing together cheesemakers, big and small, artisan and industrial from all over North America and Mexico. There's an odd mix of tiny farm goat farmers

next to shiny suited guys from companies like Kraft next to tattooed cheese mongers. Who goes to the Kraft booth? Yeah, what's new in singles? We're thinking about doubles. At one point, while riding on an elevator, the khaki industry guy in front of me turned to another and in a very serious tone of voice asked, The question is, how do we make Provolone sexy again?

I want to hear more overheards from this event. Yeah, my goodness. I feel like it was just like, oh. That would have been the best ever to go to that. You put it on a Subway sandwich, that's how. Yeah. Make it super. Man, first of all, what is Matt S. doing there?

He's got to have some sort of cheese connection. Yeah. You don't show up. It's not like the Fan Expo. I want to see his caper movie about getting to sneak into Cheese Ex uh cheese expo in raleigh durham not even durham good luck durham yeah maybe next year yeah wow um but yeah i mean like first of all that hotel or conference center it's gonna smell it's gonna be like we need to air this out for days the worst and that'd be better better conversation overheards than Comic-Con or something.

Yeah, yeah. Oh, man. What, um... I don't even know. What goes on at a cheese fest? Was it just industry? I forget. I got lost. And how do you make provolone sexy? Was it sexy in the first place? I think it... Well, yeah. I mean, yeah.

What's the sexiest cheese? Uh... Probably the sexiest cheese? Oh, God. It's probably the sexiest cheese. I don't know. Buffalo's head mozzarella? That seems pretty sexy. It's in a floating... No, better than that would be burrata mozzarella, which is like a better buffalo one.

I like a brie. Oh, brie. Yeah, kind of melty. Yeah, it doesn't... The room temperature won't stay together like a brie. Oh, brie, yeah, kind of melty. Yeah, the room temperature won't stay together. Like a sexy lady. You gotta keep her... Put me in the fridge, baby.

While your parents are here. This next one comes from Adrian H. While looking for a toilet bidet attachment on Amazon A three-star review for one entitled Good, but not life-changing I mean, it is life-changing, though Yeah, absolutely The moment you buy a bidet attachment, your life changes.

Have you guys ever used a bidet? A bow-day? A bidet. A bow-day is like one of those. No, that's a modem. No, a bodem. Okay, but have you ever used one? You push the toilet water down.

I believe I have. I've been to Europe. I'm culture'm cultured yeah have you used one yeah absolutely both here in canada and abroad who had one here uh there's uh i used to have a group of friends that lived in a billionaires filthy asses they all lived in a very like there was like 10 of them all sharing a beautiful... Mansion? Well, suite. Like a penthouse suite in this apartment building.

So it was gorgeous but overcrowded. And they had a bidet. In the master bedroom there was a bidet. And when we were drunk one time we put pop bottles on it and then tried to fire them off. But a bidet doesn't go that strong. At all. Because you would really hurt your... I don't know. bottles on it and then like tried to fire them off but a bidet doesn't go that strong because it's because uh you would really hurt your uh i don't know i could take it my niece and nephew peed in it really yeah i was like what smells in here they're like i peed and i'm like

it drains though right uh yeah there's a drain yeah not just water it's just like i feel like it makes a lot of sense i think it makes way more sense than toilet paper i'm gonna say like toilet paper that's that must have been a lobby group thing because yeah once it was figured out that indoor plumbing could exist and that that could be a thing that you could have a bidet could like take care of that, then it's like the Scotty paper towel people or whatever must have deep pockets. Yeah, the lobby.

You still have to use toilet paper, though. I think you would use both. Not as much. I would use some sort of silks. The finest silks. I feel like we handled that pretty well, but it was the filthiest, grossest thing we've ever talked about. But we handled it like adults, because we're good like that.

The last one, cut off the beginning of the name, so I'll say the last name, but not the first name. Oh. So it's a T. Chaykin sent this in. This is a conversation I overheard at a bakery between a middle-aged woman who was making small talk after buying a donut and the person working behind the counter. Woman, are those rolls? Employee, yeah, we have Kaiser rolls and snowflake rolls. Slight pause. Woman, are those bagels?

Employee, yes, those are bagels. 20-second pause. Oh, man are bagels. 20 second pause. Oh man, I left the hot dogs boiling on the stove. I sure hope someone noticed and turned them off. Who said that? The employee? No, that was the woman. Yeah.

Oh, I gotta go. I left some hot dogs on the stove. And then she probably came back 10 minutes later. I meant to pick up hot dog buns. Do you have hot dog buns? There's no way that was a 20 second pause. Oh, was I supposed to do the 20 second pause? No, no, no.

I just mean there's no way someone stood there for 20 seconds saying nothing. Could have. She had like five kids. Her brain's going to explode. Yeah, exactly. What if that was the first thing she did when she woke up in the morning, was just put on hot dogs and then leave the house? The first thing I do in the morning is I have a 20-second pause. Yeah, you wake up, 20-second pause.

I reflect. Where are the hot dogs? Where are my hot dogs at? What would happen if you just let water boil off of a pot? We talked about this like three episodes ago. About just, like, making hot dog stew. Do you know what?

But I was saying, like, if you boiled a whole pot of water with hot dogs in it, would the hot dogs just, like, soak up and become so huge? No! Or would they just wither down and catch on fire? They'd catch on fire eventually, right? Yeah.

Once the water's gone, they would get burned by the heat of the element. And then they would catch on fire. I don't know if they'd catch on fire so much as just turn into a gel. They'd smoke and crisp up. That's how you make hair gel. Slowly boil down a hot dog.

In addition to overheards that are written in, we also accept overheards that are telephoned in. If you want to call us, our phone number is 206-339-8328. I got no time for your hair gel nonsense. Hey, Dave, Graham, and possible guests. So I was calling in with an overheard. I was biking along, and I stopped at a stoplight and there's a bus

station right beside me and there's two guys there and they're talking. Person A says hey man, what's Moby Dick about again? Person B oh, it's about whales. Person A, oh fun, I have a cousin who's Welsh.

Oh man, I love that. Oh, fun. Tom Jones. First of all, that guy said the... He must have been Canadian, right? He said aboot. He said aboot. I haven't heard aboot in a while.

I hadn't heard it. I was in line to get on the ferry last weekend, and there was a guy just doing the aboot and the oots. And, like, I really was like, because, you know, as Canadians, we like to believe that that is not something that we say. But this guy is really saying it for all of us. He was doing all of it. Yeah, yeah. He's really bringing the bell curve down. Doon, yeah. He's really bringing the bell curve down. Dune, sorry.

And I remember when I was in grade six, we had to do a project on a country. And it went on for months and months, this project. And I got England, which was very fortuitous. I got England, which was very fortuitous. Yeah. And I just remember being so bored with England and having an encyclopedia out and drawing a picture of a whale on the map of whales. Pretty great. Yeah.

The imagination of a young child. Ain't no beating it. We'll cut that out. Hi, Dave and Graham. This is Leah calling from Halifax. I am calling with an overheard. The other day I saw two teenage boys, both metalheads, long hair, Megadeth t-shirts, et cetera.

They walked by me on the street, and one of the metalheads cheerfully explained to his friend, so the tossed salad and scrambled eggs are his patients. Pretty good. Oh, man. Finally, that Venn diagram of metalheads and... And Frasier fans? Yeah. Have you heard that explanation of the tossed salad and scrambled eggs song?

No, I thought it was a sex thing. No, it's a... The guy who wrote the song, the closing theme of the TV show, Frasier, Toss Salads and Scrambled Eggs, explained it a couple months ago that these are both things that are mixed up,

like Frasier's patient. Oh. Dumb. Yeah, because I really thought... All those years I thought it was... Like Frasier's patient. Oh. Dumb. Yeah. Because I really thought, all those years I thought it was because tossed salad is a sex term. Yeah, but no one knew that when you were a kid. Well, I hung out with Madonna. Or you were in Truth or Dare.

Yeah, exactly. She taught me a lot of weird terms that not a lot of people knew. And I miss metalhead teenagers. I, last night at the Laugh Gallery, I gave away a Megadeth t-shirt, like from the vintage Megadeth era. And they're very, those shirts are very plastic heavy. Like there's so much screen printing. Oh yeah, there's so much printing on the front. Oh, there's time.

You end up with the shape of a skull just in sweat on your chest. They never mold to body shape so it's always like you're a sandwich board guy working for Megadeth. They usually wear a long sleeve t-shirt underneath, as was the style.

Yeah, that's true. Metallica has been in Vancouver for the past few days. Really? A few weeks, actually. Friday night, they had a... But the last... They did three or four days in a row of recording.

They're recording a 3D movie, a 3D concert movie. Oh, finally. At the arena here. And so I work right by the arena. Yeah. And so I've just been seeing, like, metalheads out, like, after the age of 20. It goes, it's a steep decline. What do you mean, like, in the way that they are as humans? I mean, like, in the way that it's acceptable to be that way.

Oh, yeah, that's true. Yeah. They look quite haggard. Oh yeah, that's true. They look quite haggard. It's tough when you see a guy that was like, obviously was like a punk or a metalhead 25 years ago, and he's still wearing the cutoff jean vest or whatever.

I haven't seen that. I'd love to see that. Oh, it's everywhere in Vancouver. I could find one probably within 15 minutes of here. Oh, there's a guy up the street named Metal Ron. Metal Ron's got it going on. But you see them and you're just like, you really just stuck with that.

You really stuck with it. Yeah, you picked a thing. You know when you're a teenager and you're like, we're gonna be this way till we die. Yeah, and then your one friend who is now like, you know when you're a teenager and you're like we're going to be this way until we die yeah and then your one friend who is now like you know on the weekend he'll wear a t-shirt maybe he'll bust out the old

Alice in Chains shirt and mow the lawn but this guy's doing it seven days a week see I haven't seen it you haven't? no I want to see that the cut off jean jacket and like the long hair that's like

they've never put conditioner in you're living in too nice of a neighborhood yeah I think that's it Mount Pleasant too much too pleasant

you have to move to Mount Rock yeah Mount Dangerous and the final overheard is this one oh hey it's a podcast it's Hey, it's a podcast.

It's a podcast. We've got a overheard for you. This phone is so fun. As I was being a designated driver for some friends, I was walking into the bar to get the last one who was at the back. And as I was going in, there were two guys coming out. One was another designated driver, and the other one was his drunk friend that he was helping outside.

The sober one says to the drunk one, hey, friend that he was helping outside. The sober one says to the drunk one, hey, just let me know if you've got a stop so you can throw up. And the drunk guy says, no, it's okay, I've got plenty of shirt to throw up into. Ha ha ha! He's probably got one of those

Megadeth shirts, because there's like a plastic bowl if you fold it up. Yeah. It's cool. I'll carry this bowl of barf around on my stomach. That's why I wore

my extra large shirt. I scotch-guarded the under part of it so nothing will leave it. I'm wearing a shower curtain. I'm wearing a poncho. Oh, a poncho's a good idea for a... Poncho's made a comeback

this year. Uh-huh. With who? With the fucking Young. It's in Aritzia. It's everywhere. Oh, but like a fabric poncho. Yeah. Okay. Like a rain poncho. Like a rubbery... Oh, okay. But I'm interested in a fabric poncho. No, you shouldn't be.

Well, I'm interested in it, too. now that I hear how much you hate it. The good, the bad, and the ugly. Yes. Yeah, that's what the kids are into. Poo-doo-loo, poncho guy. Poo-doo-loo. My arms aren't hot. No sleeves for me.

I do like that look when Clint Eastwood just brushes back the poncho over his shoulder like a Continental Soldier. That's amazing. But did you not see the kids, I'm sounding like I'm 80, wearing the Mexican, not poncho, the jackets that kids got in the 90s, the ugly Mexican gray with red. Oh, yeah, the poncho materials kind of thing, yeah. Like the poncho material. The Aztec pattern. Oh, kids are wearing that? They're spending over $200 buying these pattern. Oh, kids are wearing that? They're spending over $200

buying these things. Oh, boy. I should do a community outreach where I take kids out to a thrift store and show them how cheap these things are. There must be an area in between the two of you where people are wearing both cut-off jean jackets

and ponchos and metal shirts with Aztec ponchos. My neighborhood, a lot of loose fabrics is the neighborhood I know. Oh, is it like the yoga shit catcher?

No, I mean it's very... Ghosts. Yeah, like I live in a graveyard. Yes. There's a lot of loose clothing, but also people that were wearing regular fitting clothing, but now they're zombies and they've shrunk down. So now the clothes kind of hang off of them. In a zombie culture, in a world where zombies are around, will everything shut down or will there still be fashion?

There will definitely still be fashion. Zombies will bring back the fashion, I think. What's his name? Karl Lagerfeld. He is already a zombie. He's one of the first to arrive. He's very prim and proper. Yeah, absolutely.

But he knows how important it is to keep up appearances. Yeah, he'll only eat the finest of brains. Yeah, exactly. He ate part of Kristen Stewart's brain recently. The finest brain we've got. Graham had a giant hat full of celebrity names and picked the smartest one. Yeah, congratulations, Kristen Stewart, on being a genius. Jane Stanton, we're going to wrap this up.

Wrap it. Where can people go to find you online, et cetera? And stalk you. Yeah. At not Jane Stanton on Twitter. Not Jane Stanton. That's a lot of possibilities. Yeah, that's all of the Twitter feeds except Jane Stanton.

That aren't Jane Stanton. Yeah. I kid. Someone else has it. Is it at not Jane Stanton? Yeah. Okay. So not Jane Stanton. I kid, someone else has it. Is it at not Jane Stanton? Yeah. Okay. So not Jane Stanton on Twitter.

Do you have any shows coming up you want to plug? I have a Wednesday at Corduroy always. Regular gig at Corduroy, which is in Kitsilano. Kitsilano. On Cornwall. Yeah. No, very few heavy metal dudes in that neighborhood. None.

It's Lululemon. Yeah, it's all poncho. Yeah. All poncho's Lululemon. Yeah, it's all poncho. Yeah. All poncho Lululemon. All poncho Novia. And thanks for being our guest. Thanks for having me. Oh, man.

It's a pleasure. What do we got to plug? We're doing the Olio Festival. Yeah, the Olio Festival. Tickets are now, there were tickets for passes for the whole festival before. Now you can buy individual tickets for our show. Yes. Which is the 21st of September.

At the Electric Owl. Yeah, buy those tickets. Yeah, it's going to be great. We will go to oleofestival.ca and we will also post a link on the blog recap at maximumfun.org. It's going to be great. It is going toumFun.org. It's going to be great. It is going to be great. Absolutely, it's going to be great. And then the following week, the following Thursday, we're going to be in Calgary at the YYC Festival.

We're doing a live podcast there, and tickets are available at YYC... Comedy? No, YYcomedy.ca I can never, you know, internet. And you're also doing stand-up shows there? I am, yeah. It's a Calgary-centric festival where you have to be, or at least have to have

someone from Calgary connected to it to be a part of the festival. Lucky you! Yeah, lucky me, I don't have to do stand-up there. And MaxFunCon East is in late October. I believe there's probably a ticket or two still available. Sure.

In the Poconos. That's fun. We're going to be doing a live podcast there. We're also going to be doing... We're going to be part of the live International Waters game show. Yeah, I feel like we're going to lose real bad.

Mostly because I'm not good at recalling things when you need to. Yeah, like words. Yeah, exactly. Not good at words. Also, speaking of Maximum Fun, check out MaximumFun.org where there will be a blog recap of this week's episode.

All sorts of things that we've talked about, pictures and videos that kind of fill in the gaps that you may not know what we're talking about. What will we have? The scene from Risky Business. Do you want a picture of this shirt? No. I could do what I just want, the shirt. Do you just want to post the shirt on there? Neither.

And also, if you would like to advertise on the show, MaximumFun.org slash Jumbotron. And if you guys like the show, please do tell your friends. Stop on by iTunes, write a review. And thanks so much for listening. And to all of those who voted for the Canadian Comedy Awards, thank you. Thank you so much. Davey Shumka here.

Yeah, Davey Shumka. Davey. And the Graeme Clark signing off. Join us next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself. Thank you.