Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 235 - Lori Gibbs

Episode Date: September 18, 2012

Comedian Lori Gibbs joins us to talk about scary movies, encores, and lasagne.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 235 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is the willy to my wonka, Mr. Dave Shulkin. What does that mean? Get out of here, you know what it means.

I don't. Scrumdiddlyumptious. I think you're scrumdiddlyumptious. I haven't seen the Choco Factory film. Oh, Willy Wonka and the Choco Factory? Yeah. That's a word they use in it, scrumdiddlyumptious. I haven't seen the Chocolate Factory film. Oh, Will You Welcome the Chocolate Factory? Yeah. That's a word they use in it, scrumdiddlyumptious. Okay.

You're a real oompa loompa. Oh, thanks. Appreciate it. And our guest today, oh, such a funny lady. A lady that I've had the pleasure of being on the CBC's Debaters With and is touring all over Canada in the comedy clubs, and she is here in Vancouver with us today. Miss Laurie Gibbs is our guest. Hello.

And hello to you. I think we should call this podcast 235A. That's right. What a lot of what people listening out there won't know until now. The big reveal that we've been waiting for is that we we recorded about uh 50 50 minutes of the show yeah and then uh and then it got lost to the ages yeah i know exactly how i did it i feel like a big pile of trash because of it oh i know the feeling in the pit of your stomach that you're going through right now,

and I wish I could take it away. But let's use it. Well, here's the thing. Let's go down the line, because I remember everything that we talked about. We can recap just very quickly, just so that the people who are listening to this now don't go like,

Buh! What did I miss? Buh! that's you. There's so many sad people right now. We talked briefly about the fact that, Laurie, you're originally from Vancouver. You're really going slowly. Watch.

Already. Watch. Watch me do it. This is going to be great. And so you were doing shows last night and your friends from high school showed up. They did. And then we got into a conversation about what you were voted in high school and you were voted most nimble fingers. The girl of nimble fingers.

And it wasn't anything saucy like for a good time call Lori's nimble fingers. She'll teach you how to unhook a bra. It was you were a typist and a piano player yeah and uh in high school you tried to woo boys and then we had a great uh callback that we did for an hour oh it was great by trying to feather your hair trying to get perfectly feathered hair not happening and then we talked about... Which then resulted in sausage curls. Sausage curls, sure.

Downgrade to the sausage curls on either side of the face. Yeah, which were delicious. Yes. Then hernia surgery. Hernia! Swiss cheese. Oh, yeah. Because your doctor said your hernia resembled Swiss cheese.

I thought this was going to be so much quicker. I want to go through all the points that were great, right? Just bring everybody up to speed. It's not going to take that long. All I'm trying to justify, because in my head, everybody can see us right now, too. Yeah. They can, right? Yeah, absolutely.

Okay, good. Because I'm like a really well-padded lady who is getting less padded. And it's not fair that after my surgery, I have the fluid twins now living in my belly. So I've lost 22 pounds. Check it out. I'm losing Lori Dawkins. There you go. See?

Now we're bringing it up. See? Here we go. I could do this. This is all happening. I could do this four times. Let's delete this too. No problem. And now I just, I look very pregnant even though I've lost weight. This is all happening. I could do this four times. Let's delete this too. No problem.

And now I just, I look very pregnant, even though I've lost weight. You don't. Stop it. Stop it. Come and feel that. You should feel that. Everybody who watches this podcast does so through like a crystal ball type of apparatus a la Wizard of Oz and can see us skipping along.

We did that play in grade five at Sir William Osler School. Were you Dorothy? No, I was a munchkin. Ah, cute. Yeah, and a green one. Were you part of the Lollipop Guild? No, I was not. I don't know if we actually did that.

No, I'm anti-union. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, I couldn't afford the dues. Couldn't afford the dues. I was in grade five so and uh uh eventually your uh actions to try and uh get a gentleman ended up with you you ended up married you have two lovely sons yeah yeah they're teenagers they're teenagers i like them it's puberty at our house all the time yeah yeah we call it bonorama bonorama absolutely

teenagers if there's nothing there are uh greatest resources when it comes to boner it's true it's true uh if only we could harness that power and then we moved forward in time to dave yeah someone on the internet has been using my picture in their ok cupid profile to uh get ladies and i'm not sure how i feel about that and then we moved on from that wait that's how you do a recap no no no but there's a really great bit in there about how the picture is of you holding a barbapapa yeah and we weren't sure if the person was posing as you or as the barbapapa the barbapapa for the unfamiliar is a a an amorphous cartoon creature kind of a pink goo it looks like um the pink guy in spongebob patrick the there you are patrick the barbapapa uh who is voiced by dauber dauber from coach

yeah no kidding yeah for real oh no and then we moved on to Graham who while whilst doing comedy in Victoria British Columbia went back to his hotel room and discovered

looking for something to watch late at night discovered that there's a Canadian only lingerie football league yeah and it was the

BC Sirens no Saskatoon thank you the BC Angels versus the bc sirens no thank you the bc angels versus the saskatoon sirens and uh we at wall the we were on break i looked up the other teams there's also the toronto triumph and the uh regina rage so there's only four teams in the league, but they are actively recruiting new ladies

through the website. There is pads and there are rules. A touchdown equals two kisses to the ref. And a slight fondle. The ref is Wee Man from... It's a very classy operation.

Now I might watch. Alright, let's get to Noah's. Okay. Get to Noah's. So, Laurie. What else has been going on with you lately? Well, um... Uh... You're in Vancouver now, doing comedy, and then are you gonna go straight back to Alberta? Yes! And, uh, what are you doing? Like, you're in Vancouver now doing comedy, and then are you going to go straight back to Alberta?

Yes. And what do you do in Alberta? You're a full-time comedian. Yes. So what happens in Alberta? Do you travel around the small towns? No, I let them come to me. Oh, really?

Yeah, small towns. Tell me more about that. They come on buses, and I stand in my driveway, and that's what we do. That's fun. I have sandwiches. You were saying before the show that you were doing a show tonight

and your mom prepared you a sandwich to take with you for the show. Oh, I... You know what? This is the most adorable. Call it what it is. It's a lunch. It's in a cooler.

What? There's a sandwich. What do you mean? In like a thermos? No, like a cooler bag. Okay, so she didn't fold up a sandwich into a thermos. When you said cooler, right? Cram it all in there.

This is all I had. Sandwich cooler. So there's a sandwich in Tupperware, of course. And then there's another container in Tupperware of cut up nectarines. And then there's one container in Tupperware of cut-up nectarines. And then there's one with cut-up strawberries. I'm going to wait until after the show is on the drive back. When I go past the Portman Bridge that's new and exciting. Sure.

Exciting bridge. I'll probably eat strawberries around the Portman. Yeah. Because I think that's what a person should do. So you're going to save your lunch for after? I'll just save the strawberries for Portman Bridge. Oh, that's fine. Okay.

Are you thinking that maybe you'll be able to trade what was it nectarines peaches you're going to be able to trade those maybe for some crazes oh you don't know or maybe what are the other comics pudding yeah pudding did you think the other comics will have had lunches packed for them you know in a perfect world in a perfect world yeah it would be happier if their moms packed their lunch i'd like to see what a comic would pack themselves for lunch. Which I think it would just be all butterscotch pudding, right? And cigarettes.

Yeah. A pack of what, like, Player's Extra Light and some butterscotch pudding. For dessert. There have been times when I've been so happy that I've been doing comedy with someone who smokes because it's like a perfect break if you don't want to hang out with someone anymore. Like, oh, you're going to smoke?

Okay, I won't be here when you come back. This is what I call my getaway. Yeah. That's great. Yeah, it's – I miss – I mean, I don't know the last time that I ate a packed lunch, but I feel like if there was a food cart that made that, like, if there was just a food cart that made a packed lunch, it was just called, like, Mom's Lunch. Yeah. I ate that. I ate the shit out of it.

What did you get in your lunches as a child? What did I get? I think there was something, I think when I I was a kid called Fun Fruits, which were like, they were just candy. Like wax sort of fruit things? No, they were like jelly tots without sugar on them. You know what I'm talking about? Oh, sure.

Are jelly tots not wax fruit things? What is your definition of a wax? Because when you say wax fruit, I think a somebody has fake fruit in a bowl yeah no i mean i mean like uh like you get a little uh container yeah sort of a baggy uh filled with sort of you know fruit maybe shaped like bears oh no i'm thinking of gummy bears yeah that was a fun journey to watch yeah i'm sorry so i'm thinking of gummy bears. Yeah. That was a fun journey to watch. Yeah, I'm sorry. Sorry, I'm thinking of gummy bears. But less gummy and harder and waxier. Yeah, I don't know.

They're just called fruit snacks. Yeah, I feel like we're talking about the same thing. I think that you keep bringing wax into it, which is strange enough for me. What about leather? What about a fruit of the leather? Yeah. Like a fruit to go or a fruit by the foot? No, like the leathery kind that are called fruit leather and look like leather.

No, but it was called something. It was called Fruit Loops. Fruit. Wasn't it called? It was called something. There was a name. There was a brand, like Kleenex. Yeah.

You wouldn't call it fruit leather. You can't blow your nose in a fruit leather. What if you did? That'd be hilarious. That would be a really funny kid thing to do. If a kid was blowing his nose in fruit leather. Like a rich kid. Yeah.

Or just a gross kid. Yeah, I went with gross in my head a little bit. I'm not going to lie. Fruit roll-ups, they were called. Oh, yeah, that was the thing, too. But they're not very leathery. No. What's the difference?

But they're fun to play with. Yeah, absolutely. Well, fruit roll-ups are pretty thin leathery. No. What's the difference? But they're fun to play with. Yeah, absolutely. Well, Fruit Roll-Ups are pretty thin, actually. Yeah. And they've got that paper lining the whole way, and you unroll it like a party favor. Here's a question I have. Fun. Here's a grown-up question I have about childhood food.

Here's how I imagine something. When someone refers to edible underwear, i assume that it's made out of fruit roll-up uh what other kind of like malleable fabric could you make out of food well you make what do you call those things this necklaces right candy candy necklaces well i think you make like i've seen like an Yeah, like a bikini made out of it. Yeah, yeah. That's what I assume it is. I assume it's something...

You think that's sexy? The crunchy? Do I think it's sexy? Yes. Well, I don't think it... I mean, I think... I assume all edible undergarments are non-sexy.

Dave, I watch lingerie football. I think a lot of things are sexy. Touchdowns, conversions, laterals. Sure, yeah. Rouges. Yeah. lot of things are sexy touchdowns conversions yeah they're all things i find very um delectable i don't understand i mean this is i i think selling the idea of edible underwear is difficult to live in a society where you have so much food and then also to have underwear that people can eat. It seems like that's really rubbing it in in the poorer nations, right? It's not making my weight loss adventure any easier,

let me tell you. Oh, that, right. You know, you get a little hankering late at night. You're like, oh, I could go for some gaunch right now. Your gent walks in in a cookie dough thong. Yeah, yeah. You saboteur, you. How dare you.

When they ask at the food bank, when they ask for food that is non-perishable, would they accept edible underwear? Yeah, of course. And how, if you were, you know, down on your luck, how excited would you be to get a hamper with, like, a couple packages of macaroni and cheese, some canned pears, and an edible thong. Canned pears. I get what you're doing there. Yeah, check out the canned pears on that food bank. I got your canned pears right here. Speaking of wearing, you know, foods,

when you think, and now this is like, I want you to visualize. When you think of Lady Gaga on her day off, like really, like she's not going to go out in public that day. She's not gonna, uh. I'm closing my eyes. Yeah.

We're both doing it. You are both doing it. I opened my eyes to check if we were both doing it. What is Lady Gaga wearing? She's just around the house. She's not going to see anybody. She's not performing. We won't even see any friends.

Okay. So this is just her by herself. Shorts and a tank top. Okay, so just very simple. I'm thinking like pants made out of a Rubik's Cube. And a keyboard tie. Yeah. Yeah.

I gotcha. Do you think she just on her off days just dress as like a regular go for comfort and she appreciates it so much more than the rest of us that's true probably because we're not out wearing meat right but i i feel like i appreciate wearing my butcher knife stilettos more than she does you probably do yeah attitude Yeah. Attitude of gratitude, man. That's you. What's that? The attitude of gratitude. You're Graham Clark. You probably invented it.

Yeah. Yeah. You did. I still don't know what it means though. Um, I got the bad attitude. I think it's attitude or gratitude. Like love it or leave it,

man. Pick one. Yeah. These colors don't run. Attitude or gratitude? bad attitude or attitude i got both um so uh guys that wraps up this i just saw the possession on tuesday at scary movie club and uh there was a lot of that yeah

oh okay i get up one step what scary movie club Movie Club? And also, what's The Possession? Is that a new movie or an old movie? It's a new movie with a twist on an old theme. It's a football-themed movie. It's about one side who gets possession. It's really sexy. The demon is in lingerie. Spoiler alert, it's an interception.

And there are fruit roll-ups. So what is Scary Movie Club? It is a group of about five or six ladies in my town. And once a month on a Tuesday, because we're frugal, we pick a super scary movie. And there always is one. Is there really always a scary movie? There's always a new scary movie. Yeah, it's great.

And sometimes they're awful and it's great. Because really the only reason that any of us are going to the movie is to be away from everybody and eat in the dark. And are there any ladies in the club who do like the big freak? Are there any ladies in the club? Where my ladies at? Who freak out? Who do the big like?

No, actually, wait, it's funny. I never really thought about it, but we are all very calm really yeah do you giggle a lot during the scary part that's my coping mechanism with a horror movie is no no we we want to feel this the fear we want to feel creeped out and everything and and so there isn't too much googling goog Googling? Yeah. Googling? I should hope not, Laura. You're in a movie theater. We Google a lot. I turned down the brightness on the screen, so it doesn't bother a lot of people. Only the people around.

What is the best horror movie you've seen in Scary Movie Club? There was one where, oh, this is the worst storytelling ever. There's a famous guy that we all know, but I can't remember. Cuba Gooding Jr. And he's Cuba Gooding Jr. He's in like an insane asylum on an island. Cuba Gooding Jr.? Yeah.

And then... No, but it's not. He's on a boat that is filled with gay people. Yeah. It's called Gay Boat. Yes. Yes. And then there's like a little cave in the rocks when he tries to escape.

And the lady... Cave in Rock, Illinois. With fire, home of the Gathering of the Juggalos. Not Shutter Island. Shutter Island. Yes. Shutter Island. Yes. Cuba Gooding Jr.'s not in that. Yeah, yeah, he is.

I was just going along because it sounds... Show me the spooky. I'm starting to talk like you now. This is weird. I do that. How do I talk? It's kind of like you know things are enunciated and things are great and oh yeah things are great they're great i'm having a good time

yeah i like it um shutter island i remember that being good we just saw the possession which was cool because like there's a demon inside of a girl and then i. And then the dad is like, I want to see a movie with a girl inside of a demon. You know, way to think outside the box. Yeah. That isn't bad, actually. Like, what if it's set

in a demon world? Uh-huh. Everybody's all demon-y. And then there's this one demon who just wants to, you know, she's combing her doll's hair. And she's like,

do you guys want to make friendship bracelets or whatever? Yeah! And she wants to go to swim. They're like, shut up! She wants to go to swim. Shut up. She wants to go to swim camp. Check out my Hello Kitty backpack. Look at all the hunks in my locker.

Yeah. And she's like, Beelzebub isn't here anymore. Yeah. It's me, Jessica. And all the demons are creeped out by it. Hey, it's me, Jessica. Beelzebub's not here anymore. You silly.

Yeah. I've got fruit, fruit leather. I'm wearing fruit underwear. No, the possession is about a box called a dibbit box, I believe. Sure. Why is that funny? Because it's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. The possession is about a box called a dibbit box, I believe.

I think it's maybe one of the dumbest things you've heard but i don't want to take the title sell yourself sure i think you've had more life experience than this and uh if you're not supposed to open it um but of course somehow that happens and uh demon in the girl And the best part is she feels like she's going to vomit. And she looks in the mirror with a little light in her mouth because who doesn't have a doctor's light in their mouth? And you see these two fingers come up from her throat.

Oh my God. And they try to make her barf. Yeah. It's like reverse bulimia. She puts the fingers in her mouth to make her throw up the fingers. And then, yeah, the fingers just touch each other.

Yeah, they do the E.T. finger touch. The fingers come out and they go back in trying to make her barf. Like, oh, I gotta barf at an alien. And then the fingers start getting along and they're playing Cat's Cradle. Oh, it's just... It's a digital movie.

Get it? I get it. Boy, do I get it. Yeah, boy, do I get it. Yeah, you do. How awful would it be if there were just two fingers in your throat, and they were, like, antsy? Wait, have I eaten somebody's hand? Yeah. Because if so, then, I mean, I feel like maybe I need to give myself a Heimlip. If it wasn't scary.

Heimlip. Heirlip. If it wasn't scary and you were used to it and the fingers were like, well, they won the antsy finger award or whatever. Oh. Yeah. Maybe they were nimble. Nimble fingers.

Lady of nimble fingers. The antsy fingers award. Nobody wants those. Now I just sound like an anxious teenager. Yeah. And the antsiest fingers in the school go to You always gotta give her something to do.

Lori Clickety-Clack Gibbs. Oh, she's always got that pen that she's clicking and clicking. Don't give her a tape measure. I really I like the idea of being part of a of a, any kind of club. Really. Like a movie club or a book club or something like that where there's a regular thing and you don't actually have to do it.

Like you just show up to the thing. Yeah. And you don't feel like you have to actually socialize with these people because it's based on the activity. We're not really interested in anyone else at all, which is weird, yet great. I got it. If anybody out there wants to be part of my lingerie football club viewing group. What channel was it on? It was on like a regular, you know, it wasn't on.

Was it on a sports channel? Yeah, it was on a sports. It was on like an ESPN or TSN. I can't remember. But it wasn't on, you know, something, dirt.com or something. It wasn't on Spike. It seems very Spike TV. But it wasn't.

That was the thing. It was so just like boring football, but with pretty ladies and lingerie. Right? Can I just say that my mom just left me a voicemail? Yes, you can. And I think we should listen to it. Yeah, I don't disagree. Now, can I preface this by saying that tonight at my mom's house, it's date night.

What? For you or her? No, she's just going to eat dates. She packed me a big lunch. She doesn't want me to come home soon. Oh, what? Yeah. That's great.

She gave you money to go to the arcade. You don't rush home, Laurie. Oh, what? Yeah. That's great. She gave you money to go to the arcade. Here you go. You don't rush home, Laurie. Oh, sorry. I turned off the power to the garage door. Oh, what? So she's got a special man. How old is your mother?

She's 76. This is the greatest. And her special man is 80. Oh, cradle robber. And I once phoned her in the afternoon. And I said, Hey, Mom, what are you doing? And she said, Oh, honey, you don't want to know. Oh, gross. I know it was the worst day of my life. Wait, wait, I want to know. I mean, I'm not related. So I want to know. I think well, and then she said, I'll just say this. Everything still works.

Oh, weird. But like, what if it was a thing where she's like. Wait, everything? Is she lactating? But what if it was a thing like you misinterpreted as like, we broke at that old popcorn maker. We're eating popcorn. Everything still works. And you raced over.

I brought the butter. Lori, everything still works. That is how I am going to believe that happened now. That is so great. So she has left me a voicemail. Now it's date night, so he's there. I noticed that there were two formal place settings at the dining table, and she did divulge that she was going to have her shower later in the day.

Oh, yeah. You want to be fresh for popcorn. Look at Dave's face. It's like she's your mom now, isn't it? Yeah, it's all of our moms. But why don't I? I don't feel gross about it. I feel like this is great.

This is great. I know, but what if we phoned your mom and she said that? She's out of town. So it would be a long distance call is what I'm saying. So let's all save our dollars. Just assume. I will pay. Yeah.

Okay. Shall we listen to the voice now? Sure. Hold it up to your microphone. I'm going to put it on speaker and we're going to see what it says. Hi, sweetie. It's your mama. Hold it up to your microphone. I'm going to put it on speaker and we're going to see what it says. Hi, sweetie. It's your ma. Just wondering how you're doing

and missing you. Mm-hmm. Sitting out on the deck having wine and snacks with Ellen and there'll be lasagna in the fridge when you come home, but I don't think you want to eat lasagna at 1.30 in the morning.

Yes, I do. Yeah. Anyway, I just want you to know I miss you and I love you. I'll see you either in the early hours of the a.m. or in the morning. Okay, love you, dear. Bye.

Oh, come on! So needy. Just calling every five minutes. I miss you. I'm like, you're on a date mom yeah i hope that yeah it's one of those like it's like i just gotta check in on my kid yeah oh really how old is she 46 yeah she's in the city alone one night away from the kids yeah you know you gotta cut the strings come on lasagna that was she went to an ipod and i haven't heard from herself that was One night away from the kids. You know, you've got to cut the strings. Come on now. She loves lasagna.

She went to an iPod and I haven't heard from her since. That was the most adorable. I hope nobody needs their heart in solid form. Because that was heart melting. That is the best mom. What's her game? What's her game? Yeah, what's her hidden agenda?

What's in this for her? Oh, she's in it for the... Oh, that was something we talked about, the long con. What is the key to... Is the key to a good con is that you're involving somebody who's criminal so that they won't go to the cops? Is that the trick? Because otherwise, if you just scam somebody and they're like, hey, it's a scam scam they just go to the cops and you'd be arrested or you you you involve someone who is greedy who but like they want they'll invest in you right uh expecting to get much much uh more back and then you also you

uh embarrass them and pull down their pants oh yeah yeah exactly like there has to be an element where they're not going to want to tell people, right? And so they're... It's a shame. Yeah, exactly. So you've pulled down their pants and taken a photo. Yeah. Of their wiener or lack thereof. And put it on OkCupid. Oh, right? I bet you there's a lot of that on those dating sites.

A lot of just pictures of crotches. Have you ever been on a dating site? Yeah. A lot of pictures of crotches. It's a funny way to introduce yourself, isn't it? Well, it's saying that this is as good as it gets, right? They're saying, like, this is the best looking part of me. Right?

Because otherwise you'd show your face. Which really might not be a good thing, because crotchets is a rule. I mean, as a word. You see much cuter faces than crotchets. Yeah, that's true. As a word, not the most attractive word. Not so much cuter faces than crotches as a word not the most attractive word not so much

check out my cratch cratch and so what else has gone on with you Dave? oh boy I've gone to two rock concerts lately and I haven't been to a rock concert in a few months.

And then in the past week, I've gone to two. Where were they? Last week, I went to go see the Swedish rock band, The Hives. Can you sing us some of their... I'm not going to do that. It's mostly songs about honey and... Yeah. You getting along and working your hardest.

Okay, okay. But they are a lot of fun. Are they colonial? They're, huh? Huh? Huh? Huh?

Huh? Huh? Whoa. Um, uh, the other one, uh, the other one I saw last night was,

uh, Canadian rock band Sloan. Oh yes. And they, uh, were great. Also, both shows were great.

Yeah. Um, but, oh, I cannot be out late anymore. What is the latest? 10.30 p.m.? I don't need an encore.

When a band walks off, and it's just sort of assumed that there will be an encore, that's not necessary. What? Please, we've had enough. Yeah, yeah. But there's never enough, right, with these rock bands? I don't know.

Maybe there is. I'm going to start doing that in comedy, I think. An encore? I'm just going to keep coming back up. You know what I would appreciate? And I think the theatrics are maybe not in rock and roll like they used to be. But if you applied for an encore and they all came out in different outfits, then I feel like that would be worth it that's good right i like it when they made you

feel like or maybe i'm just naive that your cheering actually changed their mind like in my head they had like they're getting in the van you know what start the bus we have to get to tallahassee yeah and then they were like wait what did you hear that is that what is that i hear feet on on stands you guys we can't just guys they're demanding it yeah okay you know what plug everything back in yeah we're going back yeah because it is so phony now yes they like when you when they actually raise the house lights that's when you know the show is over. But they don't raise the house lights after the band leaves. The band goes off stage and you're like, okay, now we can go. Oh, wait, the lights are still down.

Yes. Okay, I guess we need to clap. Yeah. It would be fun. Bands, listen up. This is how to make this fun again. Tell the house managers we're totally going to do an encore, but we need you to flick on the lights and open the doors.

Yeah. And then make it like, you know how when you're at a movie and some people know that there's like an extra scene after the credits? So most people get up and go, and then there's a few people that hang around. They're like, ah, I've got to get out of here. And then they end up standing and watching the extra clips, and there's only like eight people left for the encore.

Make it fun again, bands. Yeah, have Nick Fury come out at the end and throw a Majolner at somebody. Hey everybody, you're now in Hoobastank. We're recruiting new members of Hoobastank. For those of you that stayed, there is a reward. Oh, that would be so great.

Yeah, why don't bands do the great things that I recommend yeah they should have like even they should really sell it like the club manager should be like everybody out you don't have to go home but you can't stay here hire some guy to

come out with a giant push broom he's pushing along in the red cups on the floor yes and then at the last second two three four and you're like what oh shit everybody along in the red cups on the floor. Yes. That's right. And then at the last second, two, three, four. And you're like, what? Oh, shit. Everybody back in the club.

Yeah. You just hear the echo of drumsticks getting hit together. That's pretty great. You're getting goosebumps. What if, how about this?

This is, now I would think way outside the box. What if it's a band, they leave the stage, they race out to the front of the venue and do like a kick-ass acoustic set when everybody walks out.

Oh my god. Right? So you're walking out, you're like, I guess that's the end of the show. And they're like, two, three, four, out on the street. With a watch board and a... Yeah. Oh man. And one of those bass...

What are the... Stuck into a bass... Like a stick in a basin with a string. Yeah, like a broom. Yeah. And then they're like in parking section G later on and then yeah you're falling asleep and then your phone rings and you're like hello and they're like 2, 3, 4

honey did you lock the back door shoot oh shoot I can feel him breathing that's pretty great and the other thing that I noticed with these rock concerts is everyone feels the need to photograph every part of the show

how else are you going to remember anything well no you have to tweet it to tell everyone I'm having more fun than you I'm having more fun at this point and then at this point and I took a video of this song and then more pictures. Yeah, I haven't looked up yet from my phone. And they announced this week a bigger iPhone.

The new iPhone's going to be bigger. That's just going to be more phone in front of me seeing a concert. Yeah, that's true. That's just going to be more of the stage obscured by phones. The future belongs to the tall. Oh, absolutely. Yeah. Do you know what I did for 45 minutes yesterday morning?

What? I... Let me guess. Okay. Pilates. I don't know what that is. Oh, wait. Let me guess.

Karate. Karate. Melodies. I was singing a lot of Pilates and harmonies. guess? Karate. Karate. Melodies. I was singing a lot of melodies and harmonies in my pajamas. Yay, pajamas. I, at 10 o'clock

on the dot, opened five browser windows all set to Ticketmaster.ca. Go on. Because my husband wants to go see Paul McCartney. Aw, that's fun. And after 45 minutes of, nope, nothing for you, got on through. Well done.

I know. Perseverance, right? In what city? Here. Here, okay. Because he's playing Edmonton as well. Yeah, but we were like, Edmonton, Vancouver, what do you think. Here, okay. Because he's playing Edmonton as well. Yeah, but we were like, Edmonton, Vancouver, what do you think?

Yeah, right. I sure love Edmonton people, though. Well, you know what? Edmonton doesn't have, last I checked, the lingerie football team. No. It's all in Vancouver.

That's how we decided. Yeah, two places in Saskatchewan. Where should we see Paul McCartney? Where they play football and lingerie. Where do they play it here um what laundry football yeah uh was it indoor oh no it's out well actually that's a good question i don't know i don't have the because i live here and i've heard of it well i also live here and i also wear lingerie so google pictures all look outside yeah I didn't see the pictures. I was elsewhere.

I was... You were deleting podcasts? I was deleting the podcast. Yeah. He scraped the podcast off a plate like an unfinished dinner. Yeah. Just right into the garbage can. Into the garburetor. That's what the icon on the computer is.

He clicked it. Would you like to scrape the podcast into the trash? Plate scrape. Oh. So you're going to see Paul McCartney? Yeah. Old jowl eyes. The two of you?

I think he's, I think my husband's way more excited than I am. I have tickets as well. Shut up. So really? Where are you sitting? I'm going to sit in some seats. Yes. How old is he?

He's 70. He's 112 plus 70. Is he 70? He's 70. 70, okay. Where are your seats? Tell me. They're not on the floor. They's 112 plus 70. Is he 70? He's 70. 70, okay. Where are your seats? Tell me. They're not on the floor.

They're on the side. We're like at the floor at the back. And I was like, I have refreshed browsers more times than my nimble fingers can take. Yeah. I am going to take whatever I can get. Which is shocking because... Yeah, but it's so nimble. If there's one thing we know about you.

Yeah. There's a lot of nimble. Yeah. El Nimble Fingarinos. Nimble thimble. It's a major music event. He comes to Vancouver every 50 years. Yeah. And the last time he was here, he was with a very famous band

called Hootie and the Blue Sticks. Yeah. Well, we were going in the general same direction. So, you're going to Paul McCartney. You're going to Paul McCartney. You're getting a car. You're getting a car. Anything else with you?

Should we move on to Overhertz? I have a thing. Okay. That happened. So, right next to where I live, over the last week or so, there were guys putting in cement and fixing up kind of a sidewalk. And I wasn't sure what was going in. And what it is, is it's kind of one of those dividers so that cars can't drive through. It's like a bike-only lane or whatever now.

And there's still enough room for a car to drive around, like if you live in the neighborhood or whatever. And there's a sign that says, bicycles only. And I have never seen such quick, angry response to something like this. Like, it was only put in at the beginning of the week, and so far it has been graffitied twice, with very specific yelling at City Hall, like,

fuck you, City Hall! Somebody crossing out the bicycle thing, and then somebody stuck these organic fruit stickers that they got from the grocery store. They had like 40 of them. They stuck them all over the sign. I don't get what that statement is.

Well, I think he just found some stickers. Yeah. His statement is organic stickers. Had he had fruit leather, he would have adorned it with fruit leather. If you buy organic fruit, you seem like you're siding with a cyclist. It seems like he should be a peaceful creature. But he covered up the reflective sign. And then yesterday, somebody had turned the sign so it was backwards.

It was facing the wrong way. And this morning, somebody had driven over the divider several times. You could see the tire tracks. Somebody drove over it in their car and then drove back over it. Come on. But it literally is not blocking anything. Like, it's just a sign that says, like, hey, bikes can go here. And people are losing it.

Sorry, there's no detour. There's no new media. You can get around it. It's fine. It's just a sign and a little tiny concrete barrier so that there's, like, it's very defined that cyclists have the right side. But if you live in the neighborhood you just go around the left side so it's nothing why are they so angry oh i don't know because if if

i can totally relate if if you know if they made it so cars can't go there anymore but you're telling me that cars can't yeah like i got a ride home from somebody uh yes who drove over it and back yeah and i was like, hey, wait a minute. And then they're like, just hold on a second. They had this roll of organic stickers. I was supposed to put these on some melons, but I'm going to do this instead. Yeah, anyway, so like, hey, hey, relax.

Such anger. Relax, man. Bicycles. You know what? They should all get a call from my mom. Oh, man. We could all use that. Would that not make a difference? Oh, man. If you're ever feeling bad, or you know somebody that's feeling bad,

tell them to visit this podcast and listen to that statement from Lori's mom. That's beautiful, right? Yeah. Hey, there's lasagna waiting for you. That's a real, it's real E.T. Wrapped in WALL-E, topped with The Land Before Time, blended all together, and frosted. With Finding Nemo! With Finding Nemo, absolutely. Thank you, I had to say it. Served in a container made out of Toy Story 2. Some gump on the side. Huh? Gump on the side huh gump on the side yeah

absolutely some bubba gump shrimp guys let's move on overheard please overheard overheards a segment in which uh your everyday self regular people on the street joe average jane what's herher-name, just walks out in the general public, hears hilarious things, pays it forward by reporting it to us. Pays it forward, as though it was a great gift you received. Yeah, absolutely! If you keep your

ears open and your eyes peeled, you may also be fortunate. Now, Graham, before we move on to Celebrity Overhearts, it's time for my favorite segment on the show, a segment called Celebrity Birthdays. Now, every week, it's very important that we take a tally of which celebrities are celebrating birthdays. And we celebrate those birthdays with them. This week, the celebrity birthdays will be the birthdays celebrated on Tuesday, September 18th.

Yes. And the theme of this week's celebrity birthdays is celebrity nicknames. Because it's my feeling that most celebrities, you know, back in the day, so many celebrities had nicknames. Like Babe Ruth was the Great Bambino. Yeah, Jimmy Stewart was Old Crazy Legs. Yeah, absolutely. Frank Sinatra was Old Blue Eyes.

Yeah, Humphrey Bogart was America's Neck. Old Bogey. And so I feel like not enough of today's celebrities have nicknames. So, as we go through these celebrities, we will be trying to come up with nicknames for them, starting with this first guy. Dave, please

shut up. Now, here's the thing. Speaking of celebrities, there's one that has a special place in my heart, and his name is Hulk Hogan. And this is a segment called Hulk Hogan News It's a Hulk Hogan News It's a Hulk Hogan News

Now here's the thing Hulk Hogan There's two streams coming at you Okay don't cross them First and foremost Hulk Hogan Is going to star in a new reality show

he's already starred in one WWF Wrestling yep and then he was a guest star on Brooke Hogan's reality show growing up Brooke he played the father he is going to be in a TV show

in Britain to find the next big British wrestling star the last one I think was British Bulldog yeah Davey Boy Smith

so it's TNA Wrestling British Boot Camp which will follow the company's search for a breakout star who can make it in the US

now British Boot Camp they think boot is the trunk of a car yep so it's yeah exactly it's boot is the trunk of a car. Yep. So it's, yeah, exactly. It's wrestling in the trunk of a car. It's lots of rail.

It's lots of rally car. So he is going to do that. So Hogan's back on the air. It's great. Yep. But it's British air, so it's. But, you know, I'll download it and watch it. I guess so.

At my own domicile. And then, just, this is not really in the news column, but just kind of keeping an update. Hogan's Beach Shop, they've got stuff online now. The website is almost ready to go. He had a bunch of stuff on Facebook, like what they're selling.

I have already picked out several items that I will be ordering from this place. What do they have? You know, just a lot of stuff with Hulk Hogan's face on it. So it's like, you know, a backpack and a cooler and a mug and a hat and like just anything that you could have

but with him on it. You said it was called his beach shop? Yeah, it's on the beach. Oh, beach! I thought you said beet, and I thought he had started farming beet. Yeah, absolutely. And that is what you were ready to order. Yeah, absolutely.

He won the borscht belt. Oh, yes, he did. The intercontinental borscht belt. He did. Anyway, so yeah, coming soon. Me wearing some Hulk Hogan t-shirts.

Yeah, you drinking out of Hulk Hogan mugs. Yeah, exactly. Coming soon to my house. So that was all the Hulk Hogan news that was fit to print. This is all Hulk Hogan news. This is all Hulk Hogan news. So is he hosting this wrestling show?

I mean, he's definitely gonna be on it. I mean, maybe he's one of the hopefuls. Maybe he comes out with a British accent. Yeah, and a bowler cap and an umbrella. Blimey, brother. Eat your vitamins.

What are you gonna do? Instead of brother, it's governor. All the maniac it's governor. Yeah. All the maniacs, governor. Well, now it is time for celebrity birthdays. Oh, celebrity nicknames. Yes.

We must come up with nicknames for these celebrities celebrating birthdays on September 18th. Here we go. Happy 38th birthday to rapper of rhymes and pimper of rides. Exhibit is 38 today. Old fix-em-ups. Old fish tank in a car. Wow. Old timber pants. Old timber pants.

Does he have timber in his pants? Yeah, why? Because of his pants? His pants were falling last night It sounded like an exhibit that I would go to Yeah, absolutely, the Timberpants exhibit Yep Perfect Well, happy 41st birthday to

Writer of Coattails, Jada Pinkett Smith Oh Old Old mean face Old Matrix Old Matrix. Old Matrix McGillicuddy. Matrix revisited. Yeah.

Old smug looker. Yeah, old hair back and forth senior. Hair back and forth senior, I think. There it is. Happy birthday to doper of bikes Lance Armstrong is 41. Oh.

I mean, you know, you want to like the pan uniball. Sure. I mean, that's mean. Too late. Oh, one plum. I mean, he's. Old cheater. Old cheater face.

Yeah. Old cheater. Hey, how about you cheated the whole time and you made us all look like suckers? Yeah. Cheater, cheater. Pumpkin eater. Pumpkin eater. Old cancer card.

Cheater, cheater, chicken dinner. Yeah. You know, old two in the hands worth of Gerald Crow in the bush. Hey. Hey, let's leave her back in it. She knew. Biv DeVoe co-conspirator. Ricky Bell is 45.

Prince of Bel-Air. Ricky Bell. I don't think we know enough about Ricky Bell. I have no idea who that is. Ricky Bell. He was in Belle Biv DeVoe. He played Belle. He was in New Edition.

Mr. Belding. Happy birthday to James Gandolfini. He's 51. How about Gandalf? Oh yeah, Gandalf's not bad. Is he Italian Gandalf? Is that what Gandolfini means? Yeah, that's what it absolutely means.

Italian Gandolfini. Italian wizard. Old cement cloth. Old cement not... Old cement clogs. Old cement clogs. Old timber pants. You shall not pass the Pasta Fazool. Yeah, pretty good. And happy birthday to old jokey jerks.

Fred Willard is 79 today. Oh, yeah, absolutely. Old jokey jerks it is. There's no... There ain't no top of it. I'm glad we stuck with the idea that all nicknames start with the word old. Yeah, absolutely. Yes, it's an old timey thing.

Do either of you have nicknames? Yeah, I got a lot of them. What do you got? I don't... They're not... They're all just plays on my name. Like, so... It's like like uh old what is your name my name is graham so hello laurie uh it's you know i've grambo and uh gram bond graham g g money and g unit and just it goes on and on like none of these are that I've adopted personally

these have been foisted upon me uh ham or uh you know grey ham grey greyest of the ham

old ham bone yeah old ham bone old s'mores vest yeah yeah beardo weirdo beardo um

transient yeah transient hobo man hobo nobo uh hobo bonobo because i hump everything like everything yeah like a bonobo monkey that's pretty good i like yeah no i know it's weird is hobo bonobo a real one uh nope but you know i like hobo bon Okay. Well, let's stick with that. Um, now Lori, we were going to do overheards. Let's move into overheards.

We always like to start. No, wait, wait. My brother used to call me Lady Carswell. Why? I don't know. Nobody does. That's really mysterious. You know what my nickname was when I got introduced last week? What?

Nice Lady. You are a nice lady. And I was like, I said, in my head, as I was driving to the gig, I was listening to the Sheepdogs, which I said to endear myself to the audience. Sure. Because that's cool and hip, right? The audience also had been on the cover of Rolling Stone. Exactly.

Exactly. And so in my head, as he was going to bring me up i was hearing like the first few notes of um you know is that a sheepdog song i don't know it's a new one okay was it the first words again dave everything is the way it is oh yeah it's got to be the way it is everything is the way it is in my head i'm like i don't flash pots are going off around yeah he's like i'd like to introduce a really nice lady and everything just went yeah and then it was Here's some sandwiches and lasagna. Oh, I can't wait to have that lasagna.

I'm invited, right? Yeah. Oh, absolutely. Now, do you have an overheard to lead the way? Can you lead the way on the overheard? Absolutely. It'll spring something to my mind. Dave can.

I'll lead the way. Here's how I'll do it. My overheard is thus. When we were in Toronto a few weeks ago. Winning the Canadian Comedy Award? That's right. On the way back, I was waiting in the lounge for the airplane to take me away. And there was a woman talking to her husband.

And she was describing another talking to her husband and she was describing another woman to her husband and she said, the woman, you know, her parents died and my mother sued her. She wants to be friends with me on Facebook. Wow. Yeah. I mean, you know, you don't need to be friends with everybody on Facebook. Yeah, not the person whose mother is suing you after your parents died.

Yeah. And the woman who identifies you by the death of your parents. Yeah, that's true. That should be a pretty easy call, I would think. No, you would think, but come on. Right? 2012. Yeah, who thinks anymore?

Nobody. That seems more like a LinkedIn friendship. I totally agree with you You're like, well we still work in the same field Geology We still are employed Being sued Are either of you on LinkedIn?

No Yes, and I have no idea why I'll tell you why Mad Magazine would call it Stinked In Oh good Here's why you're in it, because you're a professional, and you're the nicest. You lost me. You're a nice lady.

Yeah. Nice lady. You get it from your mother. Yes, I do. You like the sheepdogs. Uh-huh. I know. What do you do on LinkedIn?

You don't follow. You don't friend. What do you do? You business. You connect. Yeah. Oh, you connect. All right.

You probably network. It's very proactive. Absolutely. Oh, like the skin stuff There's a lot of business speak I imagine It's a lot of Synergy upwards glass ceiling At the end of the day

Buy sell Buy low No frills You're naming discount Higgly wiggly Exactly discount grocery stores No frills. You're naming Discount. Higley Wigley. Yeah, exactly. Discount Grocery Stores. Here's my overheard.

It comes from being at the CBC radio. I was there this week. Up on the top floor, there's a bunch of recording studios where radio shows do interviews and I guess like mixing of interviews or editing of interviews. But it's very, it's very Frasier Crane-esque. Not Bulldog. No, but very quiet and very well appointed. And there's all these different like suites that are people are editing in and i when i was walking past one of them there was a guy who was editing something for a radio show and all i heard as i walked past the door was it's gonna sound a bit pompous and that was it

and i was like i really did just even that sentence i didn't need to hear the whole thing yeah yeah um that's what public radio is all about. Yeah. But, I mean, you know, you should scrub. That should be just one of those words that they automatically scrub out like a cough button. Pompous. Yeah. Yeah.

This might be a bit pretentious. Oh, no, don't say that, because then people will think. It's implied. Now you've planted a seed. Now, do you have an overheard after all this time, Laurie? You know, I overhear my boys talking to each other sometimes. That's got to be some good stuff. Your boys are 14 and 17.

Yeah, and so, yeah, Puberty Central Bonorama is where I live now. Do they know you call it that? Or is that something they came up with? Not really my concern, I don't think. Yeah, but they also, come on, they know. We have a very healthy attitude about puberty and boners and all that. There's no shaming. It's like, be proud of your boner, but just not too proud.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, it's not going to be a boner parade. No, it's going to be like, acknowledge... I love that Rage Against the Machine song. Oh, man. How does that go again? Boner's on parade. Burn out. it's the machine soft oh man how does that go again bonus on parade yeah ban out i i play bulls on parade on guitar here i am so good i bet you are nimble fingers yeah um oh my goodness it

was like you were waiting all those years for that game to come i was i was i saw it in a vision see here's the thing my older son uh is 17 the younger one has autism so sometimes the stuff he says is just hilarious because he's got that that autism no filter thing and but he means it he's like like i dylan i have a serious question and he's like what and he goes is it okay to look at girls bums at school right and then you hear Dylan, and it's all very serious. He's like, it's okay, but you just don't want to let them see you doing it. And he's kind of trying to guide him through the, because puberty, there's some raging going on. Yeah, absolutely.

You know, and he's like, can I take pictures of their bums with my phone? I probably shouldn't do that. That falls under the category I just told you. I found his phone the other day. All bums. Did you respect his privacy? Not for a second. Nobody ever should do that.

A phone is like your diary. If you birth somebody, you get to check everything out. And there were about 14 pictures of his own unit. And it was clear that there was pride. And I thought, you know what?

I am only deleting these and telling you about it because this phone accompanies you to school. But I'm happy that you're excited about what's happening down there and that you wanted to get a better look. That's just fun. It's only by the grace of God that there weren't these cheap cameras around. Yeah, exactly.

Right? Oh, man. I would have sent one to everybody. The film I had to get developed. The film I had to get developed? But the fact that it's on a piece of machinery that also sends information. It's a great time to be alive. The fact that everyone hasn't seen everyone else's genitals boggles my mind. I think they probably have.

I'm working on it. Yeah, I'm trying to make a difference. probably have. I'm working on it. I'm trying to make a difference. Oh, guys. In addition to overheards, we also have people who will send in their overheards. Not just us here. People from afar.

If you want to do the same, you can send them to StopPodcastingYourself at gmail.com. This first one comes from Tor. T-O-R. R is his last. Tor R. Tor R. I was getting my hair cut after work one day at an upscale salon. Must be nice. Yeah, we're bragging Tor R. When I overheard a stylist, a girl around 25 years old, say about her friend, yeah, she's always stealing

from stores we're in. It's like she's a... What do you call people who steal all the time? Oh yeah, a necrophiliac. Yay! She's stealing from the morgue! What? Stealing virginities from the dead. Oh, Tor. Pretty great, right? Really great. It's kleptomaniac right it is yeah yeah i mean yeah i

think i think it's like celiac i'm not sure yeah it's still she's like a celiac she always steals Gluten from her own body. This one comes from a gentleman that I grew up down the street from. Oh. A guy named Brendan N. This is an overseen from a few years ago. I was coming home from a long trip in South America, and I was sad to be returning home. Why don't you just go move to South America?

Yeah, if you love it so much. To make things worse, I had to make a stop in Houston on my way back to Canada. I've been to Houston. Anybody else? Houston? No. All right. But I got the pleasure of viewing some great Texan culture while I stopped for some food at the airport food court.

There were two middle-aged guys getting food from the Mexican restaurant, and as they were walking to their table, I saw their shirts. The first one had large block letters with a Confederate flag background and just three words, Beer Trucks Rodeo. Nice. His friend's shirt was even better. It had a picture of Uncle Sam doing his pointing

thing and it said under him, I want you to speak English or get out. Yep. Texas. Oh, my Lord. Right? Yeah. Texas.

But it is unfair to judge any place by their airport. That's true. Their airport and whoever's walking around wearing a shitty t-shirt. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's true. You're right. I've actually heard nothing but great things about Texas. Your Dallas's and your Austin's.

Vis-a-vis the largeness of things. Yeah. Oh, absolutely. I've been to San Antonio. Yeah. And that was really fun. The Alamo and never to forget it. Saw it.

The Riverwalk. Delightful. Yeah. San Antonio. One of Hulk Hogan's favorite places it's true he likes the river walk as well he does yeah he recommends it yeah in a uh in a travel uh magazine he was interviewed said the san antonio river walk is the best yeah it's so beautiful um this last one comes from uh A. He's from Alberta.

He was passing through the town of Vulcan, Alberta. I could pass there all the time. I bet you do. Vulcan, Alberta is... Well, maybe he'll explain. He will. With a friend and stopped to take a picture of their USS Enterprise. So they picked up on the fact that they're Vulcan. They have a giant Enterprise you know, Enterprise statue.

Not too giant. But it's... They really adopted it as part of the town. There was a group of teenagers at a nearby picnic table scowling at us. I said, Sorry. I know we're being dorks. And one kid says,

It's okay. We're used to it. Happens all the time time his buddy stares at the table in front of him and mutters i hate this fucking town yeah yeah right yeah absolutely uh it's from james a and then the footloose music started yeah exactly we've been we've been sci-fi yeah they've banned star wars in their town. It's a Star Trek-only town. Yeah, and they start playing that cantina music. And they all start dancing.

Now they gotta cut loose. Yeah, Vulcan, Alberta. It was called Vulcan, Alberta. It was called Vulcan before the Star Trek existed. It must have been. I'm fairly sure it was, yeah. I was called Vulcan. Yeah. Before the Star Trek existed? I'm fairly sure it was. I think it was because of rubber. And then they were like, this town is dying.

We need a statue. Yeah, yeah, exactly. If only somebody would run the show. Change the cafe from Cindy's Cafe into the Beam Them Up Cafe. Yeah, exactly. The gas station into the Sp Them Up Cafe. Yeah, exactly. The gas station into the Spock station. They have a beautiful mural on the side of the drugstore, the pharmacy in town.

It's all Star Trek. It's all Star Trek? Yeah, it's really nice. Isn't there... There's a town somewhere that is the... It's named as Captain Kirk's birthplace in Star Trek lore. But it's a real town. And that's what they claim.

They're like, we're the birthplace. And it says birthplace of Captain Kirk, but it has a future date because it's in the future. So it's like still. Right. They are so ahead of the game. Get a life, small towns. I'm going to ask you this because I don't think you know the answer. What is the name of that town?

I'm going to look it up. I knew it. But in the meantime. Now, while you're looking up, we also accept phone calls from our listeners. If you have an overheard that you want to call us with, it's 206-339-8328. Hi, Dave and Graham. It's Anna calling from Vancouver. Hello.

Just calling in with an overheard. I was just walking down main street and I heard probably the craziest thing I've ever heard in my life from a man just walking down the street. Um, he was walking down, he had a cell phone, but he had like a headset attachment and he's talking to his friend on the phone, I assume. And he's talking to his friend on the phone, I assume. And what he said was, I told him to leave me alone. But he wouldn't leave me alone. So I stabbed him.

And then I went back to work. Yeah, I just cleaned the knife off and went back to work. Yeah, that's some Dexter stuff. Yeah, Dexter could handle stabbing someone and go on with his day. That's all he did. Wasn't that his whole thing? Killing a guy and then just going back. And then narrating stuff. Yeah, Dexter could handle stabbing someone and go on with his day. That's all he did. Wasn't that his whole thing? Killing a guy and then just going back? And then narrating stuff.

He had to do a lot of ADR. Well, you know, and your boss isn't going to give you the whole day off. For stabbing. Yeah, exactly. More of an appointment. Well, I don't know if he murdered anyone. It was just like, hey, teach him a lesson. Oh, just one stab to the neck Riverside, Iowa

Is the future birthplace of Captain Kirk Home of the stabbings What year do you know? When's he going to be born? You'll have that information in the next break Here's this phone call Hello Dave Graham You'll have that information in the next break. That's right. Here's this phone call.

Hello, Dave Graham and possible outstanding guest. This is Will in Los Angeles calling in with an overheard. My wife and I were just enjoying a lovely brunch on a Monday afternoon, and as we're leaving, we're walking behind a mother and daughter, and the daughter says, I had a terrible nightmare last night, to which her mom replies, that's because you were watching Rizzoli and Isles. What's a lady's name? What's a sassy, like, raven-haired lady's name on that Rizzoli and Isles? Is it Angie Harmon?

Angie Harmon. I don't think of her as sassy. Oh, no? She was sassy on Law & Order, no? I never... I don't know her... I don't think she was sassy on Law & Order. Maybe? I don't know her. I don't think she was sassy on Law and Order. Maybe our definitions of sassy.

Yeah, I think they are. I think of a person that files legal documents. Yeah, sure. A district attorney character. Yeah, yeah, yeah, sassy. I'm sassy of you to be legal. I've never watched Rizzoli and Isles, but I assume it's not the kind of thing that gives you nightmares.

Nightmare-provoking. I've never Rizzoli and Isles, but I assume it's not the kind of thing that gives you nightmares. Nightmare-provoking. I've never had a nightmare. I had a very boring dream this week that my travel agent retired. Oh, man! What does that mean? Way to escape reality? Yeah. Wow.

I was like, well, this is mildly inconvenient. We should look that up on Dream Dictionary. See what it means. What does this mean? Nothing. Retirement. You will never travel again. But growing up, people all, because I ate so much garbage. I loved candy.

And I would eat it like, I would fall asleep eating candy. And people would say, don't eat it late at night because you'll get nightmares. And I never had any nightmares. And I never will. Did you have tooth rot? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, good. Oh, yeah, I don't have any teeth anymore.

Yeah. I always heard that if you ate cheese before bed, you would have nightmares. I've seen that as well, yeah. Yeah. I'll try that. Hey, look, I've got lasagna at my house. Oh, yeah, anything to spice it up. Okay.

Did we find out the year of James Tiberius Kirk's birth? No, but I am looking up dream analysis, travel agent death. You know what? Just put your phone down. Your next trip will be by horse. Hey, Dave and Graham and guest, this is Ryan calling from Victoria and I got an overheard for you.

Me and some friends were walking downtown Vancouver following this trashy-looking couple of 20-year-olds, and the girl turns to the guy and goes, I didn't know you slept with Tina. The guy looks at her and goes, yeah, hammered her out real good a couple times. She looks back at him and says, well, why didn't she say anything? And he goes, probably because she was so demoralized afterwards. Whoa. I do feel like maybe that guy doesn't know the meaning of the word demoralized. Or maybe he does.

Maybe he does. Wow. Goodness. Hammered her out real good. Yeah. Good for him. Wow. Yeah. Maybe she good for him. Wow. Yeah.

Maybe she remembers that it's rape. Well, look, I don't want to get into the who's did what's and the what's of that. I don't want to touch point O this situation. Who's traveling, who's died. Touch point O. Well, I mean, of a couple times. She was hammered out real good. I feel like...

You almost went New York there. Hammered on real good. There is a... On 101 Dreams Analyzed on Dream.net, number 22 is the travel agency. So there is actually...

What? Yeah, there is a dream analysis of a travel agency so there you go man what is the analysis? yeah but what does it say? the whole dream is not necessarily a retirement

of course not it's for somebody working at a travel agency and the interpretation is you've already done some great work with your dream i don't know i mean just dreaming it was great yeah i would have all sleep uh meditating on a dream symbol opening it up and exploring it often brings up memories and feelings if i were to look at your dream i would see the following you're contemplating a new situation and your role in it uh-. What appears to be a work issue now seems

to be a family issue. You see, your role is one of providing maintenance rather than making any creative progress or getting anywhere. But you do ask that question, what are my procedures for the next day? In other words, the dream moves from stating the situation

to looking for solutions. That's great, but I wasn't the travel agent in this dream. Yeah, no, but... Can you not just put that template on your life? Yeah, absolutely. Situations change. Did you get your travel agent anything for his retirement? No.

Snow Globe? It was her. Oh, sorry, you're right. It was 2012. Yeah. Both men and women can be travel agents. Women can be anything, including travel agents. Edgy.

Well, that's about it. Women can be travel agents. That's as far as I want to go. And they can retire whenever they want. Yeah. Even when it's inconvenient for me during rapid eye movement. Now, Laurie, this brings us to the end of this show. Oh, wow.

I know. I feel like we've done a show of this show. Oh, wow. I know. I feel like we've done a show and a half. It feels so weird. Yeah. But in a great way. Oh, it's fantastic. Not like, oh, we had to do it. Yeah, we hammered it out a couple times.

We hammered it out a couple times. And then I felt demoralized. Uh, if people want to find you online, your, your, your, your weight loss blog that you, that you're doing, uh, where you're putting in entries every day, way in Wednesdays, way in Wednesdays. What is the website for that? Well, just go to losing Lori.com LORI because that's really just to redirect my website, but the blog part of it. And so if you think, wow, she is so interesting,

you can click on other things. Yeah. Or not. LosingLaurie.com Now, are weigh-in Wednesdays a problem because of wing Wednesdays? Very much so. Although, if you weigh in first,

then you have all the rest of Wednesday to eat all the wings you want. Yeah, and then you've got six days to burn off them wings. That's what we're talking about. No, Wednesdays is just when you watch scary movies. Come on, it's fun. And do you have any upcoming shows that you would like to promote?

I know we are all going to be at the YYC comedy. Yes, what are you doing at that, Dave? Graham and I are doing a live podcast. Oh, that's right. Amanda Brooke Perrin's going to be on that. Yeah, and Ryan Belleville. Oh, how exciting. That'll be fun.

Graham, I think you and I are going to be on the gala. Yep. I am going to... The Jack Singer Concert Hall. Isn't it the Jubilee? Sure. Maybe you go to one place, I'll go to the other. I don't know.

Let's call the whole thing off. It's the 29th. It's somewhere. And two of the kids in the hall are going to be there. So when you look at me, I will be sweaty. And I will be trying to think of something intelligent to say to one of them or the other. Don't worry about that. And I will say...

You say, my mom packed me a sandwich. Would you like to split it with me? Would you like some nectarine slices? yeah yeah lasagna back at my mom's house easy peasy okay okay I'm gonna bring a lunch

that'll help everything so that's yycomedy yeah yycomedy.ca ca and I'll also be at Yucks from September 27th to 29th in Calgary in Calgary, Alberta

and and Dave do we have anything else our show in Calgary is on the 27th at the Voodoo Lounge I love Strong you're so sweet more please

that's from the Voodoo Lounge You're so sweet. More, please. That's from the Babuda Lounge album, The Rolling Stones. Check it out on iTunes. We will also be in Vancouver as a part of the Olio Festival this week. It's coming up fast. This Friday. This Friday night. We will be there.

I'm working on my costume as we speak. Oh, really? Yeah. Okay, really? Yeah. Okay, we need to talk. And our guests will be Alicia Tobin, Kevin Lee, and Dan Mangan. Yep. It'll be great. I'm not sure about ticket sales.

They're online. Yeah, ticket sales are online. Our Vancouver shows usually sell out. Don't let that deter you. Yeah, yeah. Check out oleo.com. Is this a margarine festival? No. Yeah, it's a margarine festival.

It's oleofestival.com. How do I showcase for the margarine festival? Well, first of all, what are your recipes of all the margarine? That's a big part of it. Okay. Can you do the two country crockhands? And have a fun like a conversation with each other croc hands ever do oh yeah they did yeah um figure in the a-okay uh but yeah uh

i think i'm i'm sure even like a day of if you show up you you could probably get into the venue well you know what try it yeah don't downsell us that much. Sleepover outside. Yeah, exactly. What's wrong with the sleepover? Get your tickets in advance. But if you do have a festival pass for the OLEO Festival, you can also get in. Yeah, you're in Lake Flynn.

Or if your name is Mr. Basel. Yeah, Basel. Yeah, absolutely. Can't believe it's not better. Margarine, margarine, margarine. And everybody who listens to the show should check out MaximumFun.org. Check out the blog recaps that Dave does each and every week. Photos and videos.

Surely a link to the lingerie football league. Oh, if only. So call me Shirley. You know what? There's not such a thing as too much fun. That's what I say. There is not. And yeah, your tattoo on your forearm says,

have fun, which is great. Yeah, you have to. We did, right? We did what my arm said. If you want to contact us, it's StopPodcastingYourself at gmail.com or 206-339-8328. And thanks for listening.

Come on back next week for another enthralling episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself.