Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 239 - Shlomo McPeake

Episode Date: October 16, 2012

Comedian/boxer Shlomo McPeake joins us this week to talk about, well, boxing, as well as local weirdos and Breaking Amish.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello, everybody, and welcome to episode number 239 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who's got four buttons on his shirt, but not where you might suspect, Mr. Dave Shumka. Yeah, they are. Well, it's not a shirt so much as it is a onesie with a trapdoor.

That's where the buttons are. Butt buttons. Yeah, it's cold and it's a frosty Canadian winter. Yeah, it's footie pajamas. That you wear jeans over top of the bottom half so you don't look like a craze. Yeah, a skinny jean.

I wear it jagging over top of my footie pajamas. They really look painted on. And you know what? They look good. Yeah. I've been working out. You know that. Absolutely, I know that.

I keep very close tabs on your Nike.com running schedule. Do you know people that do that? Upload? There's a guy. There's a comedian, I think. Oh, that's right. Former guest John Buehler. Oh, I was thinking of someone else.

Who uploads. I have an app on my phone that says where you ran and how fast you ran and how many calories you burned. But it has an option to not upload that to the internet. And you take that option. I take that option. And our guest today, a very, very funny man and a guy that we wanted to have on the show for a long time. You know how these things go. Happenstance.

Circumstance. Oh, a buffalo stance? Yeah, buffalo stance. Absolutely. Very funny comedian and a longtime boxer and just an all-around awesome guy, Mr. Shlomo McPeak is our guest. Thank you, Graham. Thanks for coming, man. Thanks for having me.

Should we get to know us? Yeah, let's. Get to know us. Now, Shlomo, we were talking just before the show. When I first met you. When we all first met you. When we all first met you. When we all... Yeah, you were Brad McPeak.

And then now Shlomo McPeak. But you were originally... Tell us what happened. Fill us in. Don't just hand gesture. Yeah, you're doing a lot of hand gesturing. Yes, thanks. You're welcome.

gesturing. Yes, thanks. You're welcome. Do you want my birth certificate? It's Shlomo James Bradley McPeak. It's a name my mother thought I would grow into. And you really did, right? I think so. I'm growing.

Yeah. Well, you're still growing, absolutely. I think so. I'm growing. Yeah. Well, you're still growing. Absolutely. I mean, God forbid that you stop growing, right? And learning. Yeah. Now, you changed it. Remember, you changed it to Shlomo McPeakowitz, which was, that was a lot of syllables.

Yeah, that was nobody's given name. No. No. No. No. But Shlomo, that seems like, that's like an old world name. Like something that, right? Yeah. I remember it was one of the... Like a Salvador.

On Saturday Night Live, they had Hanukkah Harry. And when Santa was sick, Hanukkah Harry came in. And they were like donkeys instead of reindeer. And one was Moshe, one was Herschel, and one was Shlomo. Yeah. Seems about right. Do you know what does Shlomo mean? Do you know what it means?

It's a contraction. In my case, it's a contraction in my case it's a contraction for shalom but it's also can be uh solomon is more common how it how it goes and i heard samuel too oh there you go yeah so i mean peace be with you yeah absolutely um now uh what's going on with you now what's going on with you now? What's going on just recently in your daily life? What's shaking? Well, this is exciting, I think. You're not wrong. Thanks.

Forgive me this. challenged world's bare knuckle heavyweight boxing champion Bobby Gunn to a bare knuckle fist fight for the world's bare knuckle heavyweight championship. Is this true? Yes. Are you ranked? Yeah, I am.

In fact, I'm thinking of claiming myself as the Canadian bare knuckle heavyweight champion. Who's going to stop you? Yeah. Touch him in the mouth if they do. Well, whoever wants to stop you is probably pretty tough. Now, when did you issue said challenge? And which social media service did you use?

I did it on stage, actually, a few nights ago at Rowan's Roof. So a crowd of seven people saw it. Was he in the audience at the time? No. Okay, so this is videotaped

or something? No. So now you're challenging him, really. I sent it to him via email. Wow. Which is only the meager means I have. Yeah. What's his email address? Johnny at Fisticuffs.com?

It was through Facebook. Okay. I actually requested a Facebook friendship from him. Unrequited. What's this gentleman's name again? Bobby Gunn. Bobby Gunn. Yes.

Is that two N's? Yes, he's slurring his words. Yeah. Do you think you briefly tried Bobby Gunowitz? So, if Bobby Gunn were to accept your challenge, where does this take place? A back alley? A strip of dirt somewhere? Where does bare knuckle boxing take place?

His last match is online against Jay-Z's bodyguard. This is great. This is a weird world. By the looks of things, it took place in an underground parking lot. So something like that, I guess. I'd like to see bodyguard fights, because I bet

Jay-Z's bodyguard seems like he'd be tough, but I bet Taylor Swift's bodyguard's pretty tough, too. Oh, that'd be fun to do the celebrity bodyguard throwdown. Well, why? If TLC is listening to it, they've already greenlit production. They're already putting out phone calls. And the celebrities are on the outside, like Jimmy Mouth of the South, or just the wrestling manager sort of outside the ring. It could be hosted by Mr. T.

He was a former bodyguard. Right? You know all about Mr. T. If there's something that... If ever I have a question about anything in the boxing world, or what Brad thought about a boxing movie, or what Brad thinks about a certain boxer.

Sorry, Shlomo. I'm going to just send your Facebook message away and then you'll write these beautiful essays that answer my question and then some. So you want to fight this guy in a 100-gram barcade or just a parking lot. Yeah. His choice.

Your choice? McDonald's Play Place. What are the rules in a bare-knuckle... Is it you knock the guy out and that's the win? Or can you... Is it by rounds? Yeah, I've... By rounds. The London Queen...

The London Prize-Ring rules calls for rounds. Okay, and, the London Prize Ring rules calls for rounds. Okay. And that's what you live by? Yes. Yes. Now, did you boxed in London at a point? Well, I went to England to originally

my idea was to turn professional there. Unrequited and then i returned home i really have i've boxed here and over the border in places like fife southern washington yes yeah um i don't know a lot about your history i know you In places like Fife. Southern Washington? Yes. I don't know a lot about your history. I know when I started comedy, you were doing comedy. And people said you were a boxer.

I mean, we hear a lot. We have comedians here every week. But how did you get into boxing? How old were you? I want to know the whole McGillicuddy. Wow. Nice. I think my father was a boxer and my grandfather was a boxer

and the only picture that I've ever seen of my great grandfather is of him in a bare knuckle stance. So I think it just passed the way down. Was your dad like a professional boxer? No. But you were a professional boxer. Yes. That was your living.

Wow. It wasn't my living exactly. No, no. I've made zero for any fight I've ever had. Yeah, for any beating. Yeah, for any beating that I received. Given or received. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, would I let somebody punch me in the face for $1,500? Multiple times. Yeah, oh, probably multiple times for rounds on end. But they're really puffy gloves. I mean, I feel like it's probably really easy.

Like, you're still training right? If what is his name? Tommy Gunn? Billy Gunn? It's interesting you say Tommy Gunn do you mind me jumping Was Tommy Gunn a character from a Rocky movie? Yes.

Okay go ahead. Which is why by fighting Bobby Gunn in a bare knuckle street fight makes all the sense. Because who did Rocky fight in Rocky V in a bare-knuckle street fight? Robert Gunn? Tommy Gunn. Thomas Gunn? No, you have a deep affinity for the Rocky films.

And all boxing films. And V is the best one. V is the weirdest. It's the best one. Five is the weirdest, it's the hardest one to watch. Is that right? Would I be... I've actually developed an appreciation for Rocky Five. What is your favorite of the Rockies?

This is tough, I know, because Rocky One's a classic, and Rocky Balboa developed... Rocky Balboa reached into all of our loves of boxing simulations. Yeah. And Rocky 4 had the best Russian. Yeah, the best Russian. And, you know, Rocky 3 had Hulk Hogan and Mr. T teaming up.

So it's got to be Rocky 3, then. Yeah, you're right. Correct answer. What is salvageable about Rocky V? Which, for the listener at home, if you've never seen it, Rocky doesn't... He's kind of giving up boxing. He takes a guy with a mullet under his wing, right?

I think a guy who doesn't have a lot of sleeves on his sweatshirt. He's one sleeve short of the sweatshirt. And then eventually the guy they end up in a bare knuckle boxing match on the street. Yes. So what's good about that?

There's many things. The whole Rocky film franchise plays itself out like a Rocky movie unto itself. Oh. So Rocky V, we're like, it's over. Done. Throw it in. Yeah.

And then Rocky Balboa comes from out of nowhere and lands. Hits the microphone and we all go home cheering again is Rocky Balboa good? I liked Rocky Balboa I never saw it if you watched all the movies

if you grew up with them tearjerker do you think there would be another Rocky? no but did you think there would be another rocky no no no but did you think there would be another rocky no so uh yeah they took a big break didn't they it was like every few years and then it was like a decade off yeah mullets had gone out of fashion and come back in come back in ironically yeah then gone out and come back in regular yeah so like what what would be different i guess if you were prepping for a street fight

because that's what a bare knuckle boxing is right isn't it just a street fight no no no it's a boxing match but just no gloves but doesn't that feels like that's gonna hurt a lot more it's gonna be a lot more wet noises. Yeah, a lot more face hurt and hand hurt. It's going to be a shorter match. Yeah, maybe. In my case, yes, probably. How many rounds do you think?

Well, I've put the idea forth for 10 rounds. idea forth for 10 rounds. Because I think classically a bare knuckle boxing match is to the finish. To the death? No, no. To one guy.

To one guy just says no more or gets knocked out, but I think 10 rounds would set up a rematch more better. What is... How many

rounds is the longest fight that you've been in? Six. That seems like a long time. I don't think I would get through one. No. More than the abuse, it also seems like exhausting. Yeah, and also psychologically heavy.

It seems like, is there a lot of taunting when you guys tap gloves? Is there a lot of... I've been taunted. Yeah, but you don't? Yes. You keep it classy? I've never really been in position to taunt. You know what I'm going to do to you?

Get beaten up by. Six rounds, three minutes apiece, right? Yeah. 20 minutes. Dave, I can't even run for 20 minutes. 24 minutes. Oh, yeah, right. Plus... Wait, no. 18 minutes. Six rounds, three... Yeah, 18 minutes.

Yeah. Anyways, anything over two. Yeah. Right? Oh, my God. Because usually a fight... I can't imagine going in a wrestling ring for boxing. What are they called?

Yeah. The squared circle. You can't jump off the top rope. You can't clothesline the guy. Now, here's the thing. I was on the internet internet and i was looking up i was i was uh scrolling through just boxing stuff to try and get my uh boxing.com i went to boxing.org um and i there was a whole uh glossary on this one website and these are all

uh food relatedrelated boxing terms. I'm going to throw them at you. I assume you're going to know what they all mean, but I had only heard of one of these before. Okay. And I want Dave to give Dave a chance to guess first, because you're going to know the answers. Alright.

What is alphabet soup? Oh, alphabet soup is when they... that's when your face looks like it's been beaten. And it looks like alphabet soup? Oh, alphabet soup is when they... That's when your face looks like it's been beaten. And it looks like alphabet soup. That's going to be my answer to most of these food-related ones. Shlomo? That is speaking to the various commissions

what oversee the WBC, the WBA, the IBF. Yeah. That's known as the alphabet soup. Yes. Yeah, there's a lot of them. Well, that's why boxing is kind of a mess

in terms of determining who the champion is. Who is the champion right now? We are the champions, my friends. What is hometown cooking? That is what you eat before a meal. You eat it before a meal? Yep. You need to eat extra when you are boxing.

So you eat hometown cooking, then you have a meal. Then somebody punches you in the stomach and you throw up all over the place. Shlomo? It's when you're fighting in someone's hometown and they get, say, the decision or favor from the judges

or the referee. This is correct. This is awesome that you know these. Well, he goes to boxing.com all the time. See if there's any new boxing. When you were talking about eating before a fight, isn't that in Cinderella Man? He hasn't eaten for a whole day and then he's going to fight. And Paul Giamatti makes him eat soup, but doesn't give him a spoon, so

he has to just eat it with his face. He's just put his face in the soup. Can he not tilt the bowl up? He doesn't want to get it. No, he's got his gloves on, that's why. Yeah. Alphabet soup. What about tomato can?

Tomato can is like a really thick penis. Yeah, like one that won't fit in conventional boxing shorts. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Flomo? I am a tomato can. Are you? You're not. Yes, I am.

What does it mean? A bum. No! I'm not going to sit here. No way. You could have been a contender. Yes, thank you. But, no way.

Yeah, that's what a tomato can is. But you're not a bum. We are going to agree to disagree on the tomato can angle. If you think you're a tomato can, then I swear to God I will beat the shit out of you. London rules? London gentleman rules? It's totally rules. I'm more of a Marcus of Queensbury type.

Wow. Yeah, I've been to boxing.com. Now this is the last one. Candy cane. Ooh, candy cane is a... When there's like a crippled boxer. Around Christmas. Uh-huh.

When Tiny Tim is boxing. Yeah. They bring a candy cane into the stage or ring or whatever it's called. When they go on auditions. When they go on auditions. When they go on their boxing auditions. Do you know Candy Cane Shlomo? Did you know any of these, by the way?

I knew Tomato Cane. Oh, okay. Because it was in the movie The Fighter. And that's the only reason I don't. Do you know the Candy Cane? No, you know I don't. Except maybe it's somebody that you can lick quite easily. Yeah. That's not bad.

That's not what it is. That's not bad, though. The candy cane was a body punch used by Sugar Ray Robinson, thrown with a right hand to the body, slightly turning it over and pushing downwards. Yeah. That would be, I would be all candy canes.

I'd call that a Jumka slap. I'd be all candy canes and Tootsie Rolls. I think my favorite thing about, if I were to ever box, my favorite thing would be the part in between rounds where your trainer says motivating stuff to you and rubs Vaseline on your eyeballs and gets you to spit. Would you like if when you woke up in the morning, Abby did that to you? Just rubbing out Vaseline on my face? I was watching on the internet today, I was watching a wrestling match with this guy named Don Morocco.

Okay. Magnificent Morocco from the 80s. Sounds very familiar. I didn't remember him at all, but he looks a lot like the guy who played the Hulk. Lou Ferrigno. Oh, Lou Ferrigno, yeah. And in the match, who was the guy who had the... Captain Lou Albano.

Captain Lou Albano with the beard and the thing. He was the manager, trainer guy outside of the ring. And he had this big meatball sub. And throughout the course of the match, this wrestler, Don Morocco, would come over to the edge and take a bite of the sandwich.

And Lou Albano wasn't eating any of it. He was holding it for him to eat during the course of the year. I was like, this guy's Gatorade. Yeah. And he had a can of Coke that he sometimes drank out of. It was like to show disrespect for his opponent. Have you ever done that?

Yeah. Have you ever been sitting in the corner getting all worked up and you looked across and there was a guy just eating a meal. Or flipping through a magazine. I feel like that's happened in a Mickey Mouse. No, sorry. Mickey Mouse. He would get his ass kicked

by everybody. Yeah. But no eating during a fight? It's Captain Lou Albano isn't it oh my apologies I knew there was a hole in the story

also a second hole I don't think he's actually a captain he was he was in many of Cindy Lauper's videos yeah music videos that's exactly what I was going to say I did not think you were that is exactly it I went on a real Cindy Lauper. Yeah. Music videos. That's exactly what I was going to say. I did not think you were.

That is exactly it. I went on a real Cindy Lauper kick about a week ago. Oh yeah. I watched every single video of hers I could on YouTube and he's in about three or four of them. You know, in differing levels of roles. I don't know how they know each other.

Through wrestling. Yeah. Didn't she did some stuff in wrestling, right? Yeah. It was a weird time. Yeah. No, I mean, it's still a weird time, how they know each other through wrestling yeah didn't she did some stuff in wrestling right yeah it was a weird time yeah i mean it's still a weird time but like that was as i think that like legitimate mainstream performance i guess they still do could promote themselves well for a while alice cooper was a manager in the right he managed like it's's pronounced Lou Albain.

Do you know that the wrestler... I just learned this like two, three weeks ago that George the Animal Steel, who is a wrestler who is famous for being like super hairy except having no hair on his head. Is he the one who would eat the turnbuckle? He would eat a turnbuckle. And he was crazy. He had a green tongue. Yeah. And he would just do crazy stuff. He was a teacher, like, around the year.

Nobody knew he was a wrestler. Because this was before internet or whatever. Yeah. So he would go and do these wrestling things on the weekend. And then all summer he would tour around with wrestling companies. And nobody at that school knew that he was the same. Because he would teach with a shirt on. Right. He would still have a green tongue. Yeah.

And a crazy shaved head. He would still eat a turnbuckle every day at lunch. Dave. Yeah. What's going on with you, man? Well, it was Thanksgiving weekend. Oh, right. So thanks. Yeah, absolutely. Thank you, everyone. And? What's going on with you, man? Well, it was Thanksgiving weekend. Oh, right! So thanks. Yeah, absolutely.

Thank you, everyone. And I had, I was sort of on edge most of the weekend because of, uh... Cousins of Turkey. Well, just because a lot of, uh, just weird, sort of, I felt like I was witnessing a lot of zombies this weekend. Um, deeper, deeper explanation required. a lot of zombies this weekend? Deeper. Deeper explanation. Required. On, I think, Sunday morning, Abby and I were going to brunch,

and we were driving, and we were listening to the radio, and it was great. We were having a great morning. I believe Gold Digger by Kanye West was playing. We were singing along. You had all the Vaseline you needed on your face. And then we came to this crosswalk, and there were these two old people in the middle of the crosswalk.

And I stopped to let them pass. That was nice of you. Well, they were legally halfway in the crosswalk. I know. But they didn't see me stop. So I was waiting for them to acknowledge that I had stopped and let them go. And then they just turned back around and went where they came from and i was like oh i suddenly got so worked up and then i that they made me miss the next light so i was waiting at a red light and abby and i are just sitting there and uh in traffic sitting in traffic and uh we

just suddenly noticed that our back door opens. And then we turn around, and there's a woman trying to get in the back seat of the car. Oh, what? Yeah. That's improper. We're not even in the curb lane. She had to cross a couple lanes of traffic, and she picked our car and then just started trying to climb in. So was it that your door was hanging open? No, no, no, she opened it.

Wow. She opened it, and then... What's her story? I don't know, but we... She should be here. Yeah, I want to know. I'm sure she'll try to make her way in. But she wasn't, she was probably a little bit crazy.

She didn't look homeless or anything, but she was like in her 40s, beautiful red hair. Oh, it will go on. Do you think she's available? And then, but she freaked us out. So what did you do? Did you say, no, no, no? No, yeah.

It was so fast. I felt like we even responded too fast. Like you should have heard her out. Yeah, she opened the door and we just yelled, No! Get out! And it was so loud. Everyone around us must have heard.

We yelled at her so fast. It was as though we had dealt with her before. Not you again! Get out! And it freaked me out so much and uh and the look on her face she was surprised that oh these people don't want me to get in their car yeah yeah and i was worried that like while we were listening to kanye west were we doing any dances that were like is there any move that's like, get in our car. That's Billy Ocean.

Yeah. Get in my car, you Caribbean queen. And then, yeah, so we drove off and we were freaked out. And everyone around, I worry about this woman that, like, she must have been really embarrassed. Because she tried to get in these people's car and everyone around must have heard us yelling so loud. Do you think that she was having a good time? I don't think so. What do you think was going on?

Because it's not like you guys were on a lonely road where like maybe she was trying to escape from somebody. No, yeah. By jumping into the first car. It was 11 a.m. on a Sunday outside the library. I'm trying to piece this together, what the possible scenarios are. Yeah, it was weird. And then we just left and we felt all freaked out,

but also felt a little bit bad that we had yelled at this lady. But again... Trying to get into the car. That's not something that ever happens. Yeah, like, I'm trying to just, you know, okay, so what would I... Like, maybe she was having a crazy, kind of like an acid flashback or something, and she thought she was getting into a limousine or something like that, and then it snapped, you know.

Oh, not cool? Yeah, or she used to be Kanye West's bodyguard. Oh, yeah. We were playing that song really loud. Yeah. And she was bare-knuckle boxing other bodyguards. Yeah. And then, yeah.

So we went to brunch. And then we went and we had a great Thanksgiving dinner. And then later that night, we were walking the dog. We were walking the turkey. This person peered out. It's me again. we were walking the dog. You opened up the turkey. This person peered out. It's me again. We were walking the dog, and we were up the street, and there's sort of like a clearing near our house, sort of like a courtyard area.

And we thought we saw... Great for wedding photos. Yeah. We thought we saw... It was dark, but at the end, we were pretty sure we saw someone, like, naked, sitting on a bench. Oh, sure. A woman, like, naked, sitting on a bench. Oh, sure. A woman, a naked woman, sitting on a bench and, like, leaned over and maybe barfing. But, like, covered in that New York grit.

Oh, wow. That 70s movie's grit. Did you ask if she was okay? She was far away, and we were very scared of her. Ah, yes. Nothing more frightening than a naked woman in the dark. But it was like, we were freaked out from earlier in the day. It was very zombie-like, both experiences.

It wasn't like a carjacking the first one. It was more like, this is how we would react in The Walking Dead if there was a zombie trying to get at us. Would you yell at a zombie? Or would you just drive? Hey, come on! I wouldn't feel bad afterwards. No, maybe. Yeah, you probably would.

Yeah, no, we talked it over, Abby and I, as to what we thought we had seen in the thing. What if you didn't see anything? What if it was a ghost? Yeah, that's true. Well, that's even more scary. Oh, yeah, no, absolutely. I mean, you know, you're talking about a naked lady barfing. I'm picturing The Shining, right?

Yeah. Lady in the bathtub. Yeah, it was sort of like that. Yeah. I mean, if she was in your bathtub, like, we would... Yeah, then definitely we need to have a conversation. Yeah. What are you doing in there, ma'am?

Yeah. How would you approach that? Would you use a ma'am? Would you say... Yeah, I would be as respectful. What are you doing in there, ma'am? Ma'am,'am can i help you ma'am this is a this is a shoes off bathtub um and then the next day uh so we were paranoid

about people climbing in our car and like i would lock the the door as we were driving and every time we got out of the car we forgot that it was locked. And so we would try to get out of the locked doors. Anyway. Fun. The next day, we were... Hijinks ensued. Abby and I were parked in Gastown and sort of getting our stuff together before we turned on the car. And someone knocked on the window and we freaked out.

Aye, aye, aye. And it was a friend of hers that she used to work with. Before she died and became a zombie so we talked to them for a while and then we got back in the car and drove off and then turned on the or then we locked the door as we were driving but as we were driving a homeless guy heard us lock the door and so he was like oh these people must have locked the door because they saw me who aren't you offended and so he did like And so he did a fake drunk show for us and showed us all of his missing teeth while we were waiting in the car. That's pretty good.

It was a... Did you give him some money? No. Oh, why not? He put on a whole show for you. I'm not going to roll down my window. He'll steal my fillings. You were missing all the marks that day.

I know. Yeah. You should have asked the drunk lady what was up we assume she's drunk zombies are not actually dead either oh yeah they're undead my apologies to any zombie any of our zombie listeners we'll be

playing the greatest hits of the zombies oh lord yeah so I thought when you said zombies I thought it was like you guys came across the zombie walk Playing the greatest hits of the zombies. Oh, Lord. Yeah, so... I thought when you said zombies, I thought it was like you guys came across the zombie walk. No, it was... It felt like there were, like, mindless people trying to get at us. Yeah.

Do you think that anybody's ever shown up at Take Back the Night Walk thinking that it was a zombie or a werewolf affair? Like that they showed up in zombie costume? There's never a werewolf affair. You're right. Why isn't there a werewolf affair? The big werewolf walk? Well, it would have to be on a full moon. It's hard to predict the weather. Right? Sure.

Do werewolves need a clear full moon? Can it be a rainy day yeah yeah yeah i mean they're gonna get wet they're gonna smell like a wet dog nobody's gonna want them in the house and i have to towel off before they come in the house yeah but you wouldn't any house uh no absolutely uh what werewolves they're kind of like they got the short end of the whole uh movie monster stick i know they're they're in the uh, they got the short end of the whole movie monster stick. I know, they're in the Twilight movies. Yeah, but he doesn't get

the girl. He just ends up wolfing around. Teet-wolf. Two words for you. Two words for you, Clark. But what does a werewolf want? Not brains. Not brains. Not blood. To party. Yeah, they like to party. They want to surf on top of a blood. They like... To party.

Yeah, they like to party. They want to surf on top of a van. They want to dunk. But in the Jack Nicholson movie, they don't want to... He just wanted to eat a deer. Like, he just wanted to run out and kill a deer. It's just, like, the most inconvenient monster affliction to have. Yeah, like, it's not every day it's just once once a month

i guess vamp uh well yeah but i think that somebody created a werewolf character based on menstruation yeah do you think that that was like the under like the backhanded kind of like the ladies can be real werewolves i feel like it's not even a guy created the character, because it's not, because nobody created the character. There's no Bram Stoker or Mary Shelley of werewolves. Ernest Hemingway's werewolf. I think it's just like a cultural thing. Like a culture came up with the fact that it's that time of the month.

The people of Romania or whatever. I never thought of it until now, that that may be just a dig. A dig at the whole menstrual cycle. They've had it too good for too long. Those menses. But yeah, always in the werewolf movies, like, he really got a... Well, although in Teen teen wolf he automatically knew how to harness it and just become the wolf and everyone wanted cool with it after about 10 seconds

10 seconds of shock and then play ball they were teenagers yeah that's true They had a lot of growing up to this. Did you ever see Teen Wolf 2 with Jason Bateman? Oh. Yeah. He boxes. That's a boxing movie. No way. Yeah.

He boxes. He's not a good boxer. Then he wolfs out. And then he's awesome at boxing. Although he would be harder to have the mouth guard in because of the fangs all of a sudden. Those things aren't made for dogs. There's no dog mouth guard. No.

You know that as a fact. From that time you fought that dog. Got him real good because he didn't have a mouth guard. Yeah, absolutely. Stupid dog didn't read the rules. What do they say at the beginning of the match? Touch gloves, shake a paw? What is that called?

There's a slang term for when you touch gloves. It's called like the gentleman's handshake or something. Mitten kiss. It's called the alphabet handshake. Yeah. A, B, C, ya. Greg, what's going on with you? Well, not too much

I know it was Thanksgiving So thanks You're welcome Did you do anything for Thanksgiving? Yeah, I went over to Past guest Alicia Tobin's house for dinner And then I watched A bunch of television shows

that I've never seen before, like that I've heard of, that I know exist. Well, no, actually, there was one I didn't know existed. Oh, are these lady shows? Well, they were reality shows. Werewolf shows?

Yeah. Werewolf extravaganza. There was a show called Ex-Wives of Rock. And do you know what that is? I'm guessing it's Ex-Wives of Rock. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But not of The Rock. Oh, right. He's never been married.

No. Has he not? Confirmed bachelor. There are rumors about him, aren't there? Are there really? I believe so. Well, a rolling rock there is now smell what he's cooking guys fellas do you smell what he's cooking

that's what he was saying the whole time you know what I'm guys do you know what I'm cooking for god's sake do you know what I'm cooking check out these eyebrows so I watched... It's ex-wives of rock stars. Oh, okay.

You used hand quotes. Yeah, so a drummer from Triumph. A bassist from Rat, etc. Not famous. Why couldn't they make it work? Mostly, I think, because their wives were ex-prostitutes that seems to be the whole basis of the show is like what becomes of a 45 plus year old uh ex-stripper slash prostitute really they were prostitutes i mean i may i may be projecting

a little bit was the word prostitute? I used to be a prostitute. No. Okay, so you're... I am. I'm projecting. They're not prostitutes. I mean, in the sense that they were strippers who then had sex for money. But they didn't.

No, maybe they didn't. But I'd say it's a stretch to imagine them not being prostitutes when you watch the show. Anyways. Use your imagination. You know what? These ladies have not aged well. Time has not been kind to them. Do they show before photos?

They do at the beginning of the show. They show what they look like in their heyday. If I was a producer, I'd be like, let's do away with that segment, because this is only doing you all a real injustice. And one of them talks like that tattooed one from Miami Ink. They're all tattooed on Miami Ink. This one, I talk like this. I used to, I can't wait to go to Vegas.

Sounds like that. And then they go to Vegas and they get drunk. And then they have sex. And I think, if I'm not mistaken, it was four months. Anyways, it's one of the worst. I think it's one of the worst of that genre of show. What channel is it on? I don't know.

Okay. But it was. Is there a chance you dreamed it uh i mean imagine can you imagine if my imagination worked that well i think i've dreamed uh reality shows really it's pretty it's pretty common i think that you could like come up with an amount like it's maybe not like maybe those uh like dream analysis books aren't current enough that they would have that but i think a lot of people dream in tetris and uh reality shows i i would like to see a reality show where shlomo goes from town to town calls out the best uh fighter in town bare knuckle boxer yeah fights them and then they go and have, you know, go to the artisanal shops of that town. Buy some cheese.

Yeah, some saltwater taffy. Yeah, they go to, yeah, like a place where they can get a nice handmade shirt. Right? A made-to-measure shirt. How does that sound? Yes. So I watched that show and then I watched one uh that i think was called breaking amish yeah and uh that's some rough one i haven't seen that that's about uh young amish's yeah have you seen it no

it's uh i guess it's based on this concept rumsumspringa? Rumspringa. That's right. In the Amish faith, you are allowed to kind of take a break when you're 18. Yeah, the Amish aren't allowed. They live in their Amish towns. Yeah, their Amish paradise. And they don't have no electricity. Yeah. They don't know much about history

and they so they take a break where they get to go you know uh play with a motorola razor yeah they go i mean in this show or even a regular razor yeah they it's very it's very weird like it's uncomfortable to watch because uh first of all, I don't know that I believe that they're Amish at all. You think they just have Asperger's? Well, how would an Amish person get in touch with a television producer? It seems like those paths would never be able to cross. I don't think it's happening that way. It's probably happening the other way. Yeah, but they wouldn't let a television producer on the Amish lot, would they? Unless, I guess, they were buying honey or something. They're not.

Yeah. They're silver-tugged, a lot of those TV producers. Yeah, but see, that seems like something the Amish would automatically be against. No silver-tugging. They're not like non-Amish stay out. You've seen Kingpin. They bowl amongst us. But I think that that's a fictional... I think in real life...

No, they make our fireplaces. They do? Oh yeah, they make that fireplace. And I think they're electric fireplaces, actually. Well, not when they build them. They build them here in America. Send them to China. Send them to China.

Get them sent back by boat. Get them electrified. Have you seen those pictures of... I don't know if they're just pictures or just the idea of Amish people wearing rollerblades? Oh, yeah, that's allowed. That's a technology that... It's the wheel.

It's like reinventing the wheel. Well, wait, doesn't the original iPods have a wheel on it? They see? There's a lot of loopholes once you include the wheel and fire. Yeah, the wheel is nothing but a loophole. Yeah, this is an Earth, Wind, and Fire album. Yeah, anyways, really rough watching. They all live in new york and uh i'm amish over here yeah it is it's then they are doing stuff that even people who are you know 18 and not amish

would be like they go to this really fancy strip club and i'm like oh where are these amish guys getting this money to go to they're not like you can't give a blanket to a bouncer at a strip club and say like, you know, secure me passage to the strip club. English. these shows you know like it's one step away from like we brought some tribesmen who have never seen technology to new york city to see them like be baffled by i wonder are there other technologies that are like borderline like rollerblades that we could maybe sell to the amish oh sure um a cd yeah or like a record a record absolutely like a record Like a record, you don't even need electricity. You just crank that. You crank that, Soulja Boy. Yeah, you could sell them the Soulja Boy records.

They'd crank that because they'd be very excited about that idea. They're not allowed to use telephones. No. What about cans on strings? Yeah, absolutely. They're allowed to to use telephones. No. But they are... What about cans on strings? Yeah, absolutely. They're allowed to use cans on strings. They're allowed to use Nokia phones, and that's it. Sure.

Yeah, I don't know. I don't know anything about the Amish, because we don't have Amish in Canada. You're the most Amish-looking person I know. That's true, and I've raised more barns than the two guys combined. Yeah, I make my own vassal. Amish looking person I know. That's true. And I've raised more barns than the two guys combined. Yeah. I make my own vassal. That you use on amateur Amish boxers.

I bet you the Amish are really good at boxing. Yeah, you should go to an Amish community and say, where's your mightiest fist fighter? The Irish. I kept Irish and Amish mixed up. Anyway, so I watched those two shows that I'd never seen before.

I haven't watched any of the new crop of reality shows. I haven't watched any of the new crop of any TV shows, really. Nothing's caught my fancy. Yeah, except Irish rovers. Except Irish accent changers. I've been watching a lot of Boardwalk Empire.

So, yeah, that's basically it. I've discovered two, well, at least one of those is like a hit show, right? The Breaking Amish? Yeah, hit. What constitutes a hit? I've heard of it i guess the number one rated amish show certainly in the top two you know that the amish they

probably will not first of all they'll never see that show they'll only hear hear tell of it and then also uh that movie with Harrison Ford. Witness. Yeah. They've never seen that. They don't even know what a Harrison Ford is. They think it's a car that they're not allowed to drive. The expression, just give me the gist of it, is an Amish expression. Yeah, give me the Reader's Digest version.

Yeah. Oh, I'm never going to see it. You could spoil it. I'm Amish. They're allowed to read books, though. Handcrank books. But does that mean that they could read like, you know, Fifty Shades of Grey or whatever?

Like, could they be reading... Modern books about sex technology? Yeah. Sextology? Damn it! Anyways, we'll get there, guys. Together. Yeah, I think the Amish can be very spicy. Not according to Breaking Amish.

The whole episode they were talking about how they all knew somebody that had sex with an animal. So then I was like... I mean, man is an animal. The most dangerous game. I've had sex with the most dangerous game. A shark.

He doesn't know what you're talking about. Yeah, we've all had sex with a shark. Oh, God. Anyways, you know what? I'd give both of those shows a miss. If you're Sunday night, just go for a nice walk. You know what I mean? Get some fresh air.

Yeah, or watch that Irish show on HBO. Yeah, yeah. Breaking Irish. Well, let's move on to some overheard. Please. Overheard. Overheard. Things that you may have gleaned from, you know, walking around, being a big piece of work.

Look at you. Yeah, yeah. Now, each and every week we do this segment. We always like to start with the guest. Sure. Wait, before you start. Dave. Oh, wait, no. Graham, I'm sorry. No, Dave. Shut up.

You shut up. Dave, shut up. Yeah. Are you telling me to shut up? Nope. You shut up. You shut up. It's time.

You shut up. No, you shut up. Okay, I'm shutting up. No, go ahead. Okay. Before we go into full-blown overheards. My doctor diagnosed me with full-blown overheards. My doctor diagnosed me with full-blown overheards. Well, you have a little segment called Hulk Hogan News.

It's the Hulk Hogan News? It's the Hulk Hogan News. Now, guys, it's been a crazy couple of weeks. For the old H-bomb. Yeah, in the old Hulkamaniac sphere, there's a whole thing about a sex tape. Hulk Hogan has a sex tape. Have you seen this?

Oh, it's terrific. He brings it. Yeah, he really brings the thunder. He doesn't complain about how full he is from his previous meal. Yeah, they play his theme song when he enters. That was the joke from last week. Real American. You know what's the most disappointing thing? He doesn't rip his t-shirt at all at all not even yeah before during

or after i guess after would be a little crazy all right thank you for your time and rip yeah but uh she was afraid the whole time that he was going to rip the condom. Okay, stop. All right, come on. Anyways, so the stories are rolling in fast and furious. He's been on every talk show. There's nothing I can add. I can think of one he hasn't been on.

Yeah, he hasn't. He's turned down all requests. Much like you sending requests for a bare-knuckle boxing fight, I have sent many requests to Hulk. Unrequited. Yeah, unrequited Hulk Hogan tweets, etc. Oh, geez. What are you going to do?

What are you going to do? Do you tweet him? Yeah, I just tell him about the podcast. I ask him, I want to make my own sex tape. Do you have any tips and tricks? Get a tan. Get a deep brown reddy tan.

But leave your butt as white as a sheet. Yeah, exactly. Don't let that butt ever see a ray of sunlight. So he was on the Today Show, Pierce Morgan, Howard Stern, Huntington Post Live, Piers Brosnan's Golden Eye.

The Golden Eye on the news. So he said everything that's going on. Basically, they're afraid that there's another sex tape that's going to be released. But amidst all of these stories about Hulk Hogan's sex tape, I was going

through the gauntlet of all the headlines of Hulk Hogan for the last couple days. Okay. And here's one that has been buried amongst all the sex tape fervor. Uh-huh. And the headline is simply this. Hulk Hogan chokeslams Shaq in clip for Basketball Stars YouTube Comedy Network. So I think the takeaway from this is Shaq is starting a comedy network. So I think the takeaway is Shaq is starting a comedy

network on YouTube? It's called Comedy Shaq. What kind of stuff is Shaq into comedy-wise? You're going to find out in a big way. In one minute. What's going on at the Comedy Shaq? You know that expression that people would say?

What's funny at the Comedy Shaq? Yeah. That's what on at the Comedy Shack? You know that expression that people would say? What's funny at the Comedy Shack? Yeah. Yeah. That's what the Amish say. That's an old Amish expression. Because they don't have YouTube. But they're into Shack. Absolutely.

Because you're not, you know what? Being tall is Amish. Yeah. Yeah, you're not a... I think basketball was invented before the cutoff, Amish-wise. Yeah. I think they do the peach basket version. Yeah. What year was the cutoff, Amish-wise, right? I think they do the Peach Basket version. Yeah, what year was the cutoff?

1982? They can have Walkmans, right? Yeah. No, they can have Ghetto Blasters, but not Walkmans. They have A-Tracks in their cars, but not cassette players. So there you go. There's your unearthed... Hulk Hogan news?

It's Hulk Hogan news. Now, somebody said to me, by the way, as a sidebar, they were asking, like, when is Hulk Hogan news going to be done? Oh, someone asked you this in a rude way? Well, not in a rude way. In person or on the email? On Twitter. Okay.

And I don't know. I'm thinking that in the future I may put it to a vote. A real Hogan-off. A real Hoganoff. Beef Hoganoff. Yeah. Yeah. And just see if, you know, should it continue. I'll take your feedback.

You want to send feedback in, send it to StopPodcastingYourself at gmail.com. Let us know what you think. Yeah. Cast your vote. I mean, I used to do a segment called Celebrity Birthdays. It got way too much feedback. Oh, wait. No, it got no feedback. You had to shut your vote. I mean, I used to do a segment called Celebrity Birthdays. It got way too much feedback. Oh wait, no, it got no feedback. You had to shut it down. I forget.

Now it's time for Overheards. Overheards. Now this is a segment that you're out and about. You're seeing the world. And we like to start with the guest. You've got the whole world in your hand. So Shlomo, lead the way, if you would.

Something I overheard somebody say today or yesterday. Anytime. Anytime. Yeah. You're fresh. Okay. I've really had a difficult time. Well, you don't have to go first if you don't want to. Yeah. Why don't Dave go first? Okay.

Once we get the flow going. You know what? We're going to let you off the hook for now. You're grand. We are. Thank you. Dave? My overheard is a man, I was on my way to work one morning, and I was waiting for the light to change.

I was a pedestrian, and I was, in Vancouver we have these bike lanes downtown. Can you imagine? Yeah. We live in a world where bikes get their own lanes. Yeah. And cyclists drive in or pedal. No, they do. They pedal their wares in these lanes.

And there was one guy that I noticed coming up the the bike lane and he was uh not riding a bike he was riding a scooter like a razor scooter that you push with your foot yeah but wearing a helmet pushing this scooter with his foot yeah uh wearing like a real bag of shit yeah he's a real idiot yeah uh uh yeah i'm, wearing sort of like capri pants, just really long, long shorts that went below his knees. Oh, sure. A real, what do they call them? Not jorts. Jorts. Dickhead. A real dickhead.

And he, so he's pushing his scooter, like 40-year-old man, pushing his scooter. And there was someone waiting beside me for the light to change and so they they started to step into the street and this guy's still on his way in the middle of the intersection and the guy's in his way and what does this idiot pushing a scooter i want you

guys to guess what what was an idiot pushing a scooter say to a guy who's blocking his bike lane? Beep, beep. Yes! Wow. That was it. Yeah, that sounds right. That sounds exactly right. Yeah, beep, beep. It was beep, beep.

With that voice. Yeah. Whoa, what a scumbag. Beep, beep. You know, that's, there's, what do they call it? It's justifiable homicide, right? Where it's like nobody on the jury would like... Would convict you.

Yeah. And they're like, well, if we were all in the same situation, what would we do? Yeah, Graham, do you have an overheard? I do. Mine is in the category there's like this old uh you know uh what would you say like a trope that they use in films or in cartoons right not a bad word well done uh where a an old booze hound will be drinking then he'll see something super crazy and then he'll throw away his booze.

Oh! I'm not drinking. He'll go do the, like, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop. Yeah, so he's drinking, but something real happens, and he thinks he's hallucinating it. You've seen it, like,

it's been in any number of Warner Brothers cartoons, and it's been in Back to the Future, and any number of things where something fantastical happens. What this was, was I was predictably on the bus. And this is a late night bus and these two

people get on and they're, one of them is a well, they're both white, but one of them was a white guy with dread, long dreadlocks. The dreaded locks. The most dreaded of the dreadlocks um and him and his girlfriend get on the bus and they uh have been fire dancing they have um poi no sticks but like this guy has like a big metal staff and it's got coils on either end that

i guess you light on fire with your tape with your idiot uh with your idiot power and and it's got coils on either end that I guess you light on fire with butane. With your idiot. With your idiot power. And then she's got the ones on chains, right? So they get on the bus. Those are poi, right? Poi, I think, is a food. Poi is the spinning ones. I think poi is a food. Poi is also like a taro custard, but it

is a... It is also a swinging fire chain? It's the swinging fire hippie yeah so that's that's them they got on and uh and it stunk like the because it's just you know fuel and also these people don't bathe well it was i would have preferred the smell of them or like this was like like uh like a car exhaust uh-huh like it was exhaust. They had just finished twirling fire. They'd just blown these things out and gotten on the bus. Beep, beep. And so also the guy of the couple had in contact lenses that made his eyes look like a cat's.

Awesome. Like a white, like a powder blue cat's eye. I'm getting to like this guy so then we go a couple stops these guys are on people are opening the windows because it's like we're being gassed like it just fucking reeks and this guy is old guy gets on the bus a couple stops later and he gets on it right away he goes fuck it stinks and then he looks at the guy with the cat's eyes and he just says to himself, fuck. And it was just like one of those moments. Where he should have stopped drinking.

Yeah, I'm going to stop drinking. Why didn't anyone else say anything? I guess because it's the bus. And also it was like, what are you going to say to these people? They're already inconsiderate enough to have gotten on the bus in the first place. They're not going to understand you, man. I think a lot of people don't know they stink. And when you tell them, they're appreciative.

But if you got on a bus... Even though it's your weird fire rod. Yeah, but like you wouldn't get on a bus with a barbecue that you just extinguished. Right? I would. Oh, yeah, absolutely. But that would smell delicious. Yeah, you're right.

Everybody would probably appreciate it. Yeah. Oh, I passed a guy But that would smell delicious. Yeah, you're right. Everybody would probably appreciate it. Yeah. Oh, I passed a guy the other day smoking a pipe. Greatest. Yeah. Greatest. More of that, right? Yeah.

I'm even fine with cigars. I don't love cigars, but I'll tolerate. You know, as long as it's not cigarette smoke, really. Yeah. Did either of you guys have a relative that smoked pipe? Was that ever a part of your growing up? No, I had a friend whose dad smoked a cigar, though. And I often thought that pipe would be great.

I really liked the smell of pipe. I thought as a grown-up I would smoke a pipe, but come on. Yeah, mouth cancer. Well, it's not even mouth cancer. I don't think I would smoke it often enough to get mouth cancer. I think it would be like, who am I? Yeah. Like, I'm not an old guy smoking a pipe.

I'm a fresh-faced... Youngster. Youngster. Well, this guy was fresh-faced. He looked like... Honestly, he looked like he had just stepped off of the SS Player's Extra Light. He looked like... He was very jaunty.

Yeah. What I'm saying is, if that guy is listening, let's hang out. Yeah, let's have some fun. Let's have some fun smoking pipes together. That'd be fun. You think you would ever smoke a pipe? Yeah, absolutely. I mean, you know, I would be afraid it would just lead back to smoking cigarettes.

Of course it would. Yeah, within a day. Is there like a pipe Nicorette? Yeah, it tastes way better than regular Nicorette. Now Shlomo. We've given you all the time in the universe. I know. Do you feel better or worse

now? Same. Thanks. I don't know. You're selling it pretty well thanks what if it's so great yeah well I'm expecting yeah well

the only thing that keeps coming to my head is I once overheard my wife say that I was cute. Because she thought I was cute, and that was in grade 10. Let's go back yeah you heard overheard her in grade 10 yes how long have you been with your wife since grade 10 high school sweetheart yeah and also it's the last thing you remember yeah yeah it's been yeah i got stuck in big from that yeah now did you this is true because you told me you proposed to your wife in the similar manner that well you tell the story yeah oh okay um what are you familiar with the rocky films day i'm familiar with the I haven't seen the first or second or third or sixth but I've seen the good ones but I'm familiar with the story

the story I mean my story is that I know the story of every movie without having seen it but you know that Rocky loves the lady named Adrienne but she's a robot no Having seen it. But you know that... Rocky loves the lady named Adrienne, but she's a robot. No.

She can never love him back. So, go ahead. Rocky 2. When Rocky proposes to Adrian in Rocky 2 in front of the tiger cage at the zoo thank you Graham after he's

gotten out of the hospital from his fight with Apollo Creed they go to the zoo they go to the tiger cage and that scene word for word They go to the tiger cage. And that scene, word for word, in front of the tiger cage at the Seattle Zoo, is how I proposed to my wife. Did she see it coming? No. No.

She didn't. She didn't. That's pretty great. Did she know? Did she get the reference while you were doing it? Yeah. I guess she... I suppose she must have. Yeah.

There wasn't much... Adrienne doesn't play much of a role in that scene, which was lucky. So it was easy to lead her. That would be terrible if she had a line that she had to say for you to continue. Yep, yep. I'm continue. Yep, yep. I'm waiting.

Yep, yep. My, what tiger she has to say. Yep, yep. Come on. So your wife said you were cute. I bet you were cute in grade 10. Yeah, I bet you were too. In grade 10 I was.

Were you cute in grade 10, Graham? You've seen photos from my parents' house. You were cute. You looked like Isaac Hansen. I looked like one of the Hansen brothers. Not of hockey playing fame, but of boobop fame. I know.

You know what I'm talking about. Those are the Hansen brothers I'm talking about. The good ones. Yeah. I'm on the same uh page as dave i bet you were you were just a dickens yeah dickens in high school is my guess no i know cute as a dickens yes thank you all right now we also have overheards that have been sent into us from around the world yes uh courtesy of the internet. Hey, thanks internet. Yeah, we owe you one.

I'm looking at you, Encarta. No, that's not internet. You picked the one computer thing that's not on the internet. I bet it had a website. Encarta.com? I wonder. Or Microsoft.com slash Encarta. Do you know what's the most fun internet thing that I've discovered this week?

The Space Jam website? What? Oh, yeah. I've been to the Space Jam website? What? Oh, yeah. I've been to the Space Jam website. It's still up. It's still going. No, there's two websites that have been referenced specifically on Breaking Bad that actually exist. The one that Walter White's son sets up for him.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a real website. And if you click to donate, it links you to an actual cancer charity oh good but it's exactly like the one on the show and then also Saul Goodman has a website oh good internet you've done it

you've done it again ok now let's start with Jeff Jeff D from Barrie, Ontario. J.D. from B.O. I was in Canadian Tire yesterday, and there was a woman at the automotive center with her daughter who was about five years old.

cut, and the daughter was wandering around in the vicinity of her mom, who was wearing a light, full-length coat, and now flipping through a catalog that was on the counter. The little girl lifted up the back of her mom's coat and crawled under it. She was under there for several seconds when her mother said quietly, Kathy,

get out of there. To which the girl replied, how did you know it was me? Pretty great little kid business. Kids don't know nothing. They don't, man. They think just people climb under your coat all the time. Yeah.

And they're just, you know, they're our future. It's terrifying. I'm not worried about it. The kids will take care of us. Do you think? Yeah, these kids, they got it figured out. Yeah. They're all fat.

They've got a lot of padding on them. You have two children. Yes. Do you let them just run amok? Or do you make them get fat? Yeah. Do you have them in some sort of some sort of cage? Yeah, weight chamber.

They run amok. Yeah. They're probably in pretty good shape, right? Fighting weight? What is their fighting weight? What are they? Feather, feather, feather weight? 60 pounds and 40 pounds maybe?

If you put them together one kid on top of the other, trench coat style, you're going to have a 100-pound bus. What's the lightest weight class? 112 pounds. That's the lowest? Flyweight, yeah. What's the heaviest? What's the cutoff to be a heavyweight? What's a super heavyweight?

Is there a super heavyweight? No, after 175, it's all heavyweight. What's Butter heaviest? What's the cutoff to be a heavyweight? What's a super heavyweight? Is there a super heavyweight? No, after 175 it's all heavyweight. What's Butterbean like? As a person. He's like 340 pounds. Yeah, he's cool. Wow, 340 pounds.

Yeah, someday. He had his own video game. He does? Is it just him preparing a turkey dinner? Yeah, it's him. Where's Prince? Buster Douglas had his own video game he does yeah so is it just him preparing a turkey dinner yeah it's him we're his friends it was buster douglas had his own video game too he's the guy who beat mike tyson when mike tyson had a bad flu yeah oh and is that a thing in the game where tyson comes in and he's like he's blowing his nose yeah here comes the last boss to beat. It's just sick people. Yeah, he's just blowing his nose.

He's got a thermometer hanging out of his mouth, a cold bag on his head. Oh, guys. All right. This next one... Well, let's see. All right. This next one's a bit of a long one.

Are you guys ready for a long winter sit? A long winter sit. Yeah. This is from Dustin. Parts unknown. Dustin's like a cooler Justin, right? Absolutely. He's a Justin with a dirt bike.

He's a Justin who's really into motocross. He should ought to be a Dusty. Oh, wow. Yeah. Who's cooler, dusty or dustin dusty yeah absolutely yeah not no contest no dusty roads was a man i knew that would make uh that was his theme song who's dusty roads he was a wrestler with a list all right get on with your super long over here Alright this happened a few years ago I'm sort of dreading it

No no it's funny This happened a few years ago when the Star Wars Revenge of the Clones movie was in theaters 2002 I was just washing my hands in the bathroom When I noticed this teenage kid and his dad near the entrance Attack of the Clones Was it Attack of the Clones? Attack of the Clones

Oh Revenge of the Sith Revenge of the Sith Yeah revenge of the sith revenge of the sith yeah uh what was the final one uh a new horizon yeah uh anyway maybe 1999 okay the dad turns to um sorry uh so i'm washing my hands when i noticed this teenage kid and his dad near the entrance the dad turns to his kid and points at me and says look that's one of them sith i give them a smile thinking the dad is just joking with his kid then the dad comes closer to me saying why'd you do it you dirty sith and begins making lightsaber motions i begin to realize he is probably drunk the kid then sort of corrals his dad and leads him out of the bathroom. So the dad's the problem. I figure it's all over.

A second later, the kid leaps back into the bathroom, miming, holding a lightsaber, and says, I'll get you, you simp! The dad also comes back in, and both of them start miming, cutting me to pieces with their lightsabers. At first, I tried to politely play along, but by this point, it was very uncomfortable. So I hurriedly pushed past both of them and left the bathroom. As I walked away, the dad leapt into the hallway and shouted, My cock is a giant lightsaber! I didn't turn around to see if that was true.

See? Pretty good. Yeah, pretty good. Turned out pretty good. Um, wowie. Yeah, wowie! Like, when the kid is like dead enough i never thought the sith yeah the sith are like the they're the dark side right um yeah because wasn't what's his name the guy with the red and black face yeah yeah yeah darth darth maul they're all s Sith It's like The evil force

Darkseid Magoo Yeah, Darkseid Magoo And their whole deal And the intergalactic wrecking crew Darkseid Magoo Intergalactic wrecking crew I love it That was the working title

Yeah, exactly But like they're Politically they're very hard to change. Absolutely. Like, you're not going to... I think there's a message in there. It's like, just be yourself. Yeah, yeah.

The key is to just be yourself and enjoy the ride. Yeah. Take some time to enjoy the view. Yeah. This last one comes from Liz R. This is from New York City. New York City? Yeah. The other day, I was getting is from New York City. New York City? Yeah.

The other day I was getting lunch in New York's financial district, and I sat down next to a pair of guys. At the Interest Cafe. One of them was in his late 20s, had a giant beard and dreads, and a huge backpack. Again with the dreads. I know. The other one was maybe 40 and wearing a business suit. Apparently the younger guy had just returned from some sort of life-affirming journey i spied on their conversation for half an hour and heard the following so these are from the hippie

guy have you ever lived in the now i mean have you ever felt no fear like the t-shirt. My brother is so fearful. He's smarter than me in his brain, but not in his heart. Your mind is the enemy of the now. These are all pull quotes. Basically on the cusp of becoming a Christian, because I think there's a father god, but I also believe in a mother god. So I'm trying to reconcile that. And my favorite. I fall in love while I show you her Facebook, but she blocked me. So that's from the hippie guy.

And then this is the business guy. You have a calm, friendly, bear-like presence to you. People notice bears. That is true. Yeah. So, you know, just a business guy and a hippie guy. Yeah, my heart is smarter than the average bear. Yeah.

And the business guy was probably the only one of the two eating. And then the hippie guy was like, are you going to finish that? Are you going to finish that? That's so fantastic. Yeah. Yeah, I'm trying to reconcile like a god that has a male partner. Yeah, oh, like a real mother and father god? Like the new normal god.

I picture them as being something like the ropers. Like the female, the goddess, if you will, is always nud you know, nudging the god to, like, do it. Wearing a muumuu. Yeah. Like, how come the god doesn't pay attention to me anymore? Yeah, that guy was a goldmine. And I like that he brought up... Norman Fell?

No, no, the Dreadlock guy. Oh, the Dreadlock guy. I like that he brought up his brother. Yeah. I bet he brings up his brother a lot. Yeah, like... He's always comparing himself. He's book smart, but I'm woods smart.

I'm bear smart. I'm good at catching salmon going upstream. Great at eating honey. Yeah, exactly. Rooting through garbage. Shitting in the woods. Sometimes I get on people's properties. I have to be sedated.

In addition to overheards that are written in, we also have overheards that are called in. people's properties. I have to be sedated. In addition to overheards that are written in, we also have overheards that are called in. If you would like to call us, our phone number is 206-339-8328. Hey, Dave and Graham and possible guests. This is Liz calling from Tucson, Arizona with an overheard overseen and quite honestly, drunk dial. So the other day, I was serving at Blue Willow here in Tucson, and I was outside filling beverages, walking by all the tables, and we had this lovely patio, kind of classy, beautiful foliage.

And this elderly couple, we were sitting by the fountain and I was walking on by to fill their ice teas and waters and whatnot. And I see that the woman was struggling with this digital camera. Oh, I can't figure it out. And kind of, oh, wait, wait, here we go. And as I'm walking by, she's like, yes, this is it. Here, see, see. And she shows a picture.

And as I walk by, I glance at the photo. And at the same time that I'm seeing, the man says, oh, okay, sure. It was a grown-ass man, naked, in a bathtub, just staring at the camera. Have you ever seen the movie uh bathman shortcuts um no uh is that the robert altman yeah yeah do you ever seen it shortcuts there's a good scene that kind of like uh there's one guy who's a photographer and he's taking pictures of his friend, made up to look like she's a murder victim. Like, he's just working on his portfolio.

And then there's another whole separate storyline where these guys find a dead body, and they take photos of it. Then they call the cops or whatever. And there's a scene at, like, a photo mat where the two people are giving each other's photos, and they're both, like, super mortifying. Like, they get their photos, and they're both like super mortifying like they get their photos and like dude what a creep and they trade photos and then they both jot down each other's license plates right uh that couldn't happen anymore there's no photo mat uh you know what i mean yeah there's a lot of uh uh movie plot points that can't happen because there's no photo mats there's no pay phones there's no payphones, there's no pathos.

Yeah, absolutely. Still pathos. Oh, yeah. Yeah, where? Where? Gas stations. Yeah. The same places there are payphones, actually.

I don't take baths. I don't take nude photos of myself in the bath. As a rule. Not anymore. But when I do take a bath, it's because something is wrong. Oh, sure. As a rule. Not anymore. But when I do take a bath, it's because something is wrong. Oh, sure. Yeah, absolutely. I'm sick, or I've, you know, been run over by a thresher.

I feel like baths, yeah, like, it's like you're taking an Epsom salt bath. Yeah, you're stitching yourself up a la No Country for Whole Life. Yeah, I feel like it's a boxer. Yeah, what's your bath situation? I don't bathe. Fair enough.

I used to be a heavy bather. You used to do baths? I used to do them all the time. Yeah? Yeah. I don't know. I was a bather. I would ruin up to one magazine or book for a bath.

Oh, totally. By dropping them out of the bath. Or a cell phone. I don't think I ever get the sense that somebody is talking to me from a bath on the cell phone. I'm hanging up immediately. If I hear swishing around a water. Yeah. Sounds awfully relaxing in there.

Yeah, exactly. I've, yeah. You've had some phone calls on there? It's like you're swishing around a water. Sounds awfully relaxing in there. Exactly. You've had some phone calls on there? I've called people from the bath. What kind of conversations are you having from the bath? You'll never guess where I'm calling you from. People like to give bath products as like a mindless gift as a thoughtless gift like I don't know you very well

you enjoy these bath bombs you know what somebody one time gave me like what do you call it not a back scratcher but like a back no like a it's like a brush for your back oh man I love that thing like old timey

cartoon I did that in the shower old-timey cartoons. Yeah, yeah. I did that in the shower every morning. It was the greatest. And then, you know, like... I gotta say, I don't wash my back very well. No, no, exactly. And it's fun. It's fun to have a thing. It really is. It's old-timey shower. Maybe my back

is filthy. I'll never know. Yeah. Well, mine... I think mine has a tattoo. That girl from Miami and Connor. Next phone call. Hey, Dave and Graham and possible guests. This is Blake from Oakland. I got an overheard for you.

I was in our BART station, I guess that's like our light rail here in the Bay Area, waiting for a train and sitting on the bench this kind of crazy, kind of homeless-looking lady, you know, looked like she'd had a rough life, bad decisions, et cetera, came and sat down on the bench next to me with her bike. And first off, she was blasting Jay-Z really loud from her phone, because everyone in the

station needed to listen to Jay-Z right then. loud from her phone because everyone in the station needed to listen to Jay-Z right then. But as she sets her bike down, she says to her bike, sit your ass right there. I don't want none of that rolling away bullshit. You have to take a firm hand with bicycles. Especially without a kickstand.

Sure, what's that guy on TLC, the Bicycle Whisperer? What's his name? Cesar Millan. He's He's on bicycle planet channel. It's, uh, yeah. Yelling at,

uh, I do that sometimes yelling at inanimate objects. What? You knock it off. I'll say. Yeah. To something that you're bath. Yeah.

Or to, you know, last night I couldn't, uh, I have like, uh, like lights that you have to pull on a string to turn them on.

And I couldn't find it. It was in the dark and some, somebody had hung up their laundry. So it was like flopping around at the laundry. And I was like, get out of, get out of here, you. Out of day spot. I was yelling at the laundry. So. Yeah.

Yeah. You know, I don't do it in public. Right. I'm not crazy. Right. You do it in the private. Oh, yeah. I don't do it in public. I'm not crazy. Right. You do it in the private space. Oh, what if her bicycle was like the Knight Rider bike? And I was like, don't you roll away? And it's like, I'm sorry, Michelle. Because it was a lady, not a man.

I talk to my dog a lot, so I think that saves me the embarrassment of talking to inanimate objects. Talk to animate objects. That have no idea what you're talking about. Yeah, like yelling at a seagull. Hey, you dumb seagull.

Yeah, I mostly yell at the sun. Get out of here! What do you yell at, inanimately? I've yelled at my shoes before. For doing what? Letting rocks get in them. Yeah, come on, shoes.

Be more discerning. Stop being so slutty. Yeah, what are you? A set of quarries? Knock it off down there. That kind of thing. And finally, your final overheard of the day hi Dave and Graham and possible guests

this is Laura from New York and I have an overheard that I actually just heard I was coming out of my yoga class and it was raining so I went to the side to open my umbrella and two girls came out from the class I had just come from

behind me and one of the girls looks very annoyed and she looks at the other girls she goes no this is all i need and not to mention i'm getting a bit on my third eye gross in every sense of the word um your third eye is like your butthole no it's not it's between it's a it's like you're where you're gwen stefani spot yeah it's between your eyes and above right i guess i really thought it was your butt no it's your whispering eye that's not a thing is it that sounds like a real grandfatherism somebody's got a busy whispering busy yeah because it's been whispering so many secrets we have a lot of fun yeah um yeah no yoga's great yeah absolutely keep it up i don't think i will say

this uh i don't think i've ever passed a yoga studio where i haven't seen somebody leaving looking annoyed oh yeah um i uh you and i did yoga a year and a bit ago yeah have you done and we we agreed never to talk about it have you done it since i We agreed never to talk about it. Have you done it since? I have, yeah. Oh, really? Yeah. How many times? Once. Okay.

And, you know, just to retest the waters. And, yeah, it's not for me. I think it is for me, but I can't be bothered. Yeah. I don't... Here's the thing. Have you done yoga? No.

It's great for your core. Yeah. Yeah, I've heard. If there's one thing that needs to be worked on in my life's great for your core. Yeah. I've heard. If there's one thing that needs to be worked on in my life, it's my core. Yeah. Yeah. But you know what? I'm really...

It's like kegels for your soul. I don't want to pass wind in front of a group of women. Okay. Ever. Ever. And that seems like that's what yoga is leading to is a lot of contortion lots of shapes that i wouldn't put myself in and that my body will react they like hey you're really squeezing us really squeezing us down here we get the message

we get the message um yeah so i don't i don't want to do that i feel like yeah so I don't want to do that I don't even want to do that with somebody that I've had a long years long relationship with I only want to do it with people who will be dead like oh by the way everyone from your yoga

class has been wiped out yeah like mob style I need you to take care of all i need a crew in here oh boy yeah yeah that's not very yogic no that's true leave the gun take the whatever take the gas bags chakra uh chakra yeah your chakra your Your chakra's looking weird. Om Shanti. Guys, let's end this episode. Let's, yeah.

Now, Shlomo, if people want to find out more about you, where should they go on the internet landscape? I have a blog up now. Where do you find your blog? It's called, I think, Shlomo Confessions of a Tomato Can. Wow. Oh, wow.

You hit the nail on the head with that. Now, you, like I said earlier, you've written numerous essays about different boxing films and different boxing matches that you had an opinion about I highly recommend if you're interested in the science part of the sweet science check out Shlomo

yeah absolutely sweet tomatoes so say it one more time Shlomo confessions of a tomato camp you google that you're well on your way So say it one more time. Slow-mo. Slow-mo confessions of a tomato can. And you Google that, you're well on your way.

Dave, do you have anything that you would like to plug? I don't believe I do at this juncture. You've got this wine glass and you're swirling it around. The perfect word was juncture. I will be back in Calgary, Alberta on October 20th at the, it's called LOL at 002. The name is called 002, the place, or 002. Sure. October 20th, I will be there. I'll be wearing the jumpsuit.

You better believe I'll be wearing the jumpsuit. I'll be wearing the jumpsuit. You better believe I'll be wearing the jumpsuit. And yeah, if you want tickets, I think it is. It's lol at 002.com. And thanks, everybody, who donated during Max Fun Day. Yeah, thanks very much. That was fantastic.

Yeah. Great hangouts. Great hanging out with you. Yeah, great hangouts. Great. Good friends. Good times. Great times. Great tweets. Great tweets. Everybody was great.

We're recording this in advance. We don't actually know what happened. But we imagine the greatest of tweets. Absolutely. And the greatest of support. So thank you very much for doing so. And supporting all the MaximumFun.org shows, you should head over there. Check out the blog recap of this week's

show that Dave lovingly puts together. Yeah, I imagine I'll put up that video of the wrestler who ate the sandwich in the middle of his fight. Lou Albano. Yeah, he was the manager. Yeah, he was the sandwich artist. And check out all the other shows on MaximumFun.org and if you want to get in touch with us it's Stop Podcasting Yourself

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