Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 251 - Mark Little

Episode Date: January 8, 2013

Comedian Mark Little joins us to talk midlife crises, haggling, and monster heritage.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 251 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who's never afraid to step up and throw down and bring it and stomp it. You forgot the name of the actual movie we watched. Break it and serve it and learn it. it yeah mr dave shumka we just watched uh uh about an

hour of a sequel to you got served called you got served here we go again yeah world planet what yeah you got served uh-oh look at the dancing uh--oh, boom, boom. It was You Got Served Parkour Edition. And our guest today, a very funny gentleman who we've only had as a guest in the live show capacity. So we never had him for like the full kind of hour and plus that we do for the show. And so we're super glad to have him. He's a writer, comedian, actor, and all-around great dude, Mr. Mark Little. Hi, guys.

Hey. Hey, Mark. How's it going? Very well. Thank you for all those kind things that you said. You earned them. So thank yourself. Thank the man in the mirror.

Oh, no. Oh, guys. I haven't talked to him in a while. Well, he's been wanting to ask you about something. Do you ever do that thing where you have to psych yourself up in the mirror, and then you chicken out because you look at yourself, and you're like, that guy's pretty intimidating? Like you're going to psych yourself up, but you're like, ooh, that guy's...

Yeah, like normally you'd be like, look, you little shit. You got to... Now's the time to focus in. You worked your whole life for this moment, but instead you're like, look, you little shit. You gotta, now's the time to focus in. You worked your whole life for this moment. But instead you're like, I'm sorry, sir. As you were. I hate to bother you, but you're on. I don't think I've ever talked to myself in the mirror.

Oh, no? Never. Never. No, I have. Really? I think I may have last night. But like, do you have like just a friendly conversation never no oh it's mean it's always it's always soul searching in like a what am i doing do you give yourself the nick nolte like where you're really yelling at yourself like get it together

grabbing myself by the collar through the mirror. Yeah. Oh, man. Never, never once have I given myself an angry pep talk in the mirror. So you were giving yourself like a sad, a sad, what are you doing with your life kind of talk? Or maybe you were joking. These are all possibilities. Have you ever kissed yourself in the mirror? Like practicing? No.

What, in case you meet your own clone? Like before you've ever kissed a girl, you maybe wanted to see what your face looked like when it was going really close to someone else's face. And what's the appropriate face to make? While you're trying to... Is that something maybe you've tried? Yeah, no, because...

Yeah, me neither. No, because I thought you were supposed to practice in your hand or something. I know, but what face do you make? Oh, I make one that kind of looks like when Dracula's... Like, I kind of tilt my head back to show my teeth. Sure, yeah. To let them know, like, this is coming. And, like, I roll my eyes back in my head.

And I kind of, like, stretch my arms out like a Frankenstein. And then I don't move anything except, like, kind of stretch my arms out like a Frankenstein. And then I don't move anything except kind of my waist and just lower myself in. You dock. Yeah, I dock into her face. It's a real monster mash. Should we get to know us? Please. Get to know us.

Mark Little. What's your kissing technique? Tilt the head to the left I go a little diagonal Oh, like you tilt your head And then just hope that she She or he Stays straight on Or also tilts

I think like a Complimentary tilt Oh yeah, not the same tilt Not both tilting Or also tilts. I think like a complimentary tilt. Yeah, absolutely. That's what I hope for. Oh, yeah. Not the same tilt. Not both tilting. Yeah, that would be weird.

If you tilt and they tilt in the same way. And you're like, oh, boy. And your nose is just hit. Slowly starts spinning. The head's towards the ground. Just become one. Yeah. Just become like propellers. Yeah. Right? Yeah. Like dual propellers. Just become one. Yeah, just become like propellers.

Yeah. Right? Yeah, like dual propellers. That's pretty... And romantic. I guess become dolphins in the sky. I'm picturing an anime moment. Yeah.

Roll credits on a Japanese cover of a popular American lounge song. So what's happening? What's new? Tell us all about what's going on with mr mark little what is going on well i'm here in ball i'm here in vancouver i'm visiting my parents for christmas yep and then i'm going to my grandpa's house yeah is this what you meant no whatever what's going on in your life what's going on in the greater scheme of things what have you been up to what what's an interesting thing that's happened is your grandpa's house like a very grandpa-y What's going on in your life? What's going on in the greater scheme of things? What have you been up to? What's an interesting thing that's happened? Is your grandpa's house like a very grandpa-y house?

Or is it like just kind of a modern house with old people in it? Yeah, it's like a more modern house with one old guy. Oh, okay. And then my grandpa comes by sometimes. buy some toys. My grandpa, yeah, he, there was a period where he was moving like once every two years. Oh, wow. He made a lot of money as a JAG right after the Second World War.

What is a JAG? I've only seen it in the show, but I've only seen the name of the show and never watched it. Is Catherine Bell involved? What? I don't know. She's the lady on JAG. What does JAG stand for? It stands for Judge Advocate General, I believe.

And it's essentially just an army judge. Okay. So you like preside over a few good men type proceedings and then much more You decide whether discharges are honorable or dishonorable. Yeah. You use a gun instead of a gavel. You decide whether discharges are honorable or dishonorable. Yeah. You use a gun instead of a gavel.

You decide whether or not the prosecution can handle the truth. It's just a sheet that asks that question at the top and then two checkboxes. Can handle? Can't handle. I can has handled truth. He's a lol jag. But the thing about my grandpa living in this house is so he used to move every two years because he would get into fights with his neighbors. And then just throw up his hands and say, it's them.

I got to get out of here. So he'd move. And then he settled in this one house for, I think, almost 10 years now. And everything was going great. But then he had this blow up with one of his neighbors last year when i was out there and so now i actually don't know what the fallout has been i'm gonna go and check it out because when i was there he wasn't going to a certain side like the north facing side of his house okay he didn't want this neighbor to see him he was so uh ashamed

yeah it's the first time he hasn't been angry he was ashamed oh he was the bad guy he was the bad guy and he knew it and here's what happened is loved is they got along very well and but his neighbor got they bought a cat and he used to let it run around and my grandpa has like bird feeders and so the cat would come and pester the birds so my grandpa went over and this is a very old man yeah yeah so he went over and said don't let your please don't let your cat out which is cool like no that's crazy it's a crazy request because uh i care i care for these birds that don't belong to me yeah so he didn't he did not honor that request the cat got out and one day my dad my grandpa heard a scream a squealing like a screaming squeal and the cat was attacking a squirrel uh what my grandpa says happened is that the scream of the

squirrel triggered his shell shock from the war oh jay and went oh but what actually happened regardless of the of the reasons is that he went over to his neighbor's house and knocked on the door and then punched him in the face. What? That's not allowed at all. Even in the army, that's not allowed. Even in his jag days, that would have been frowned upon. Oh, wow. So because a cat attacked a squirrel,

he went over and punched his neighbor in the face. And then he tried to write him an apology note later and the neighbor wouldn't accept it. So the last time I... Because he wrote it on his fist. If I could just stamp this somewhere you'll read it. He wrote it backwards.

That's where he was at. So he wasn't going to the north-facing side because he was ashamed. Now, can he not get curtains? So he can use this whole house? Strangely, no. Wow. He cannot. Can't do it. Wow.

Your grandpa sounds like a real character. So you don't know what the status is neighbor-wise. Has he made amends? Is he going to punch you in the face this year? Yeah. Are you going to ask about it? Are you going to hint at it? So how's your neighbor?

Oops. Yeah, I absolutely am. Do you need to ice your fist from any? Yeah. How are your knuckles? Swollen? Is that a thing? Do you guys know anything about shell shock?

Because I don't know whether to believe. It sounds insane to me. I know it's a Ninja Turtle term. Right. That's true. It's a move. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, isn't it the old-timey way of saying

like uh post-traumatic stress disorder yeah it's the same thing right it's like something a sound or a visual or whatever will trigger like a buried memory right but i don't know enough about it to know if if that enough, if a screaming squirrel is enough. I think if I heard a screaming squirrel, I would go punch somebody in the face. And I don't even have that. I don't even have any connection to it, you know. But I've never heard a squirrel scream. No, yeah.

I'm sure it's blood curdling. Yeah, absolutely. It sounds like when Jodie Foster talks about the lamb screaming in that movie. Oh, yeah, Nell. Oh, fun. So, you're gonna go see your grandfather. Silence of the Lambs. Oh, okay.

Guy who doesn't get it. It's a character I'm working on. Ah, you guys. You guys, seriously, it was nominated for a lot of Oscars. Are we not gonna discover what movie you're talking about? Jodie Foster, seriously? It was nominated for a lot of Oscars. Are we not going to discover what movie you're talking about? Joni Foster, right?

Yeah. Now, uh... I think it's Joni Foster. Joni? Yeah. She loves Chachi? But then it turns out years later she didn't. She's a lesbian.

Right, yeah, yeah. Chachi's a... Never mind. Wasn't Chachi a guy? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. But Joni Foster is gay. Okay. Sorry. wasn't chachi a guy yeah yeah yeah but joe joni foster yeah he's gay okay sorry no it's jody fun um this guy's gonna be here oh no can't wait can't wait for him to still be here

and so um what else is going on i would just recently discovered a web series that you did with a friend that i cannot remember his name dan burn yeah the uh dad drives dad drives so funny oh thanks yeah is this based on your own father figure or is this a made-up dad it's like a crazy dad that drives his kid wherever picking up his kid as a mustache as a mustache often wearing a tube i've seen this uh you know it's not based on my own dad although charlie demers ran into my dad in a bathroom and asked him if it was asked him if my character was based on my dad does your dad have have a mustache? He's got a goatee. Oh, yeah.

He has a circle beard. He's got a little mouth corral. He's got a mouth corral. He's the evil version of the dad I grew up with. That was his midlife crisis was to become evil. Yeah, he just shaved off the cheeks and made some changes yeah what slicked back his hair he's still a history professor but let's just say fewer people are passing that's the only way now he just teaches evil history yeah exactly certain things didn't

happen um uh are you guys looking forward to your midlife crises? And I think our generation sort of has like a 30 is the new 20, 40 is the new 30. Will the midlife crises be taking place later? And will we be living longer? I'm asking a lot of questions. When is the now? It's supposed to happen between like 40 and 45. Really? Oh, wow.

Well, how long do you live? How long do I live? Yeah. Probably not that long. Yeah, 35. If you do, yeah, I guess, does it technically have to be like midway through your life? I mean. Or is it just that time period where you're like.

I don't know. I think it's just like Like midnight is not midway That's not the midpoint of my sleep Unless I sleep from 6 to 6 No that's true I think it's just somewhere in the middle of your life Not necessarily the midpoint So do people who have like a sensation

That they're probably going to die early Do they have their midlife crisis At like 12? Or like would a kurt cobain would he have had would he have bought a sports car at 14 yeah married some young lady some six-year-old um now can i ask you about people who have a sensation that they're going to die early? Oh, sure. Go ahead. Do you? All right. That's a type. Yeah, I think because there's people that when you read the biographies about them, they have all these friends who are like, yeah, so-and-so said that they didn't think

they were going to be around for a long time. Like a Janis Joplin or something would have said that to a bunch of friends. Right. And then it becomes a bit self-fulfilling prophecy-ish. Like she didn't, you know, live like a super clean life and then got hit by a car. Somehow she just knew, you know. It's like these people say like, I don't think I'm going to be around a long time because I'm abusing copious amounts of drugs and alcohol. My body will not be able to tolerate it.

It's a really lucid way to say that, Janice. But I agree. Yeah, you probably won't. Yeah. Live fast, die young, and leave a bloated corpse. Yeah, it's true. The corpses are almost never good looking in those scenarios. Yeah, Jim Morrison's corpse?

Yeah. Like, he doubled his weight in the last year of his life did he really was he still wearing those leather pants oh yeah he's pouring out of them i've never seen uh any photos of of that yeah yeah you have have i yeah because uh you know like i think we talked about this maybe on the podcast at one point that priscilla presley, when Elvis died, like went on this huge campaign to get rid of all the fat Elvis pictures that had ever been taken or published. She sued every owner of those photos to not publish them and to like destroy them.

And she bought back a bunch of them so she could destroy them. And that's why you'd almost never see pictures of fat Elvis. Like they're very rare compared to the pictures of young Elvis, right? Yeah. But she knew that was the only way to like maintain his mystique and like continue making a fortune off of him was if only you ever saw young Elvis. That's brilliant. Yeah. She's a pretty, and she was in the Naked Gun movies.

So. That is brilliant. Both brilliant career moves. so back to my question what are your midlife crisis plans hmm hmm um i like mark's dad idea of becoming an evil version of myself that's kind of fun um i think wearing an unnecessary uh, an eye patch or a neck brace all the time for sympathy. Something like that. A midlife crisis isn't supposed to be about getting sympathy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think it is.

You're supposed to be like, for my midlife crisis, I'm going to always be pretending I have a nosebleed. So I'm always holding my head back with a Kleenex over it. Oh, you know, he's going through... My dad's going through some stuff. Yeah, my dad's always pretending he has allergies he doesn't have. No, you're supposed to get a convertible and have an affair, aren't you? Is it that you're trying to recapture your asshole face? I think you, yeah, you sort of realize you're old.

Yeah. The rest is downhill. Yeah. This is the last, yeah. If not now, then when? It's the last gasp at youth. Oh, okay. So what would be...

I would put a toupee on, even if I'm not bald. Yeah. Toupee over hair. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I would do something like that. I would get like hair correction. I'd have a toupee put under my scalp. Like between my skull and my hair. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I would do something like that. I would get, like, hair correction. I'd have a toupee put under my scalp.

Like, between my skull and my scalp. Yeah. And I'd constantly shift it. And then I'd shave my head. And so it would just be this weird sort of hair bulge under my skin. It would be very off-putting. But I would be definitely trying hard enough. I'd get one of those, like, crazy, crazy, what is it, the Maori tribe tattoos.

My whole body. But I'd get it done the traditional way. It takes like a year. Oh, why don't you just get a nice tribal tattoo? On my face. How about you? Midlife crisis? Well, I don't know how to be a man yet.

Yeah, no, no. Nobody does. But I still don't have my driver's license. So the idea of getting a convertible in 15 years is crazy. Yeah.

I think just having a car. How about you, well, you only will take a convertible cab whenever you call for a cab.

Oh, I'm sorry. Can you only send, could you send a Miata cab? And you flag down a cab and ask him, I know this is a minivan cab. Do you have a friend who drives like a sporty little cab that you can send over? How did you... You don't have a driver's license, so you've never driven.

Did a long time ago. Oh, okay. How did you lose it? Yeah. Speeding? Yeah. It was always speeding. Got a bit of a lead foot this month.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I just let it go, man. I just let it drift away. So you let it lapse? I let it lapse. Oh, okay. So to get a new driver's license, do you have to go through the whole thing again? Yeah.

Oh, really? I was one of the first years of those new drivers. Remember those? Yeah. Yeah. have to go through the whole thing again yeah oh really i was one of the first years of those new drivers remember those yeah yeah so oh so you would have to start back at zero as if you never had a license yeah no and i have to convince them that i've never had a license like i have to fail the first learner's test and then i have to beg yeah yeah you have to dress like a 16-year-old. Talk a lot about Skrillex. It's like a very boring sequel to Billy Madison that I have to go through. Two grades. Learners, driver's test. You know what?

That doesn't sound like a dumb enough premise for Adam Sandler to turn down. I have to play my own driver instructor yeah and it's my sister yeah yeah you're cross-eyed cross-eyed sister cross-eyed oh yeah um oh cross-eyed that's what i'm gonna be for uh midlife crisis see but now that you say like yeah yeah, I haven't quite got a grasp on being, like, feeling like I'm an adult man. Because I'm the same way. I think 90% of guys around now, in the Western world, I'm sure child soldiers and stuff feel like a man very early on. Yeah, thanks a lot, Coney.

Yeah, exactly. Yeah, thanks a lot, Coney. Yeah, exactly. Or if you grew up in a country where there's mandatory military enlistment. Yeah, mandatory early childbirth. Yeah, or where it's really just rough to grow up. Like Russia, I imagine most Russian men are probably more of a man than... A mouse. Yeah, well, most males inada would be at the same age yeah

like i think at 15 most russian men are more manly than a 40 year old canadian yeah probably right yeah does that make sense i mean uh yeah man maybe i think there's i don't know what's what definition are we going like there's a time time you wouldn't see a Russian man wearing a hoodie after a certain age. That's true. Right. That's true. Oh, I was wearing a hoodie today, too. That's not an adult.

Unless you're going to or from the gym. Yeah. Yeah, a hoodie is not a thing an adult should be wearing. I should get rid of hoodies, right? I should get rid of those. I don't know. Unless you're Tony Hawk. Are you Tony Hawk?

But is he an adult? Yeah, technically. Yeah, he's got an empire, right? Yeah. That's all it takes. Oh, what? Can we ever, like, what's the hard and fast rule for what makes an adult now? Having an empire helps.

It doesn't necessarily hurt. What's the hard and fast rule for what makes an adult now? Having an empire helps. It does, yeah. It doesn't hurt. It doesn't hurt you. You have to have punched a neighbor or a loved one. Yeah. In the face, not in the shoulder or the stomach. In the face. I don't know.

What else? I don't know. Just, I don't know. What is... I feel like it's just like taking control of your life and making things happen.

It's like a huge thing that I'm obsessed with and I think it's easier said than done. I don't even know what it means. Taking control of your life. That's the most abstract concept. So we've got to figure it out first. Put it into action. Today!

And then regress at 45. That's when the hoodies come out. Hoodies, eye patches, toupee under your scalp. Nosebleed. Adult man. Cross-eyed. If I say that, what's the first image that pops into your head?

Axe. Carrying an into your head axe carrying an axe a guy carrying an axe yeah so jason yeah jason axe so tony hogg jason those are two templates he created an empire of fear yeah that's That's true. A very successful franchise of fear. But he was a mama's boy. That was the whole thing, right? Oh, right. Jason Voorhees.

That's true. He was all repressed adulthood. Yeah, he was also pretty arrested development. Like, he never kind of got past that whole killing kids. He didn't graduate into killing. Tennessee, Tennessee, Tennessee. What is that? Arrest development.

That's the song that Jason sings. Yeah, yeah. I challenge you to a game of horseshoes. A game of horseshoes. So you say a guy with an axe. Yep. So manhood. What comes to mind?

First image. I think just someone like Tom Selleck is the first thing that pops into mind. Yeah, good call, Quigley. But really, it's just like any old actor from the days when all movies about men featured men. Yeah. Now it feels like every movie, every comedy movie especially, is usually a very young person. Right. Whereas at a certain time, it was probably guys in their late 40s sort of acting like they were in their late 30s right like the carrie grants and the also i think many were

uh by and large like hairier in movies all the way up until somewhere in the mid 90s and then all of a sudden no guy had yeah it was all waxed but like tom selleck like he had fucking hair like coming out at every fucking like his shirt couldn't't contain the amount of hair that he had just coming out of every angle. That mustache was actually just his chest hair. Yeah, he just had to keep shaving the chin part. Came from the back. Who were the hairiest, most successful actors? Go.

Steve Carell. Tony Shalhoub. Well, guys like George C. Scott were like, not on their face or whatever, but if they were shirtless in a movie, would have this crazy thatch of chest hair. Like a Rock Hudson. Wasn't he like a real hairy gorilla man? I don't know. You know how I feel about old movies. You love

them. So Tom Selleck, Jason Faurie. These are good. These are as good as anything. Yeah, these are good prototypes. Yeah. And you? What came to mind?

Probably Tony Soprano. Okay, sure. That was the first thing that popped into my head. So a sociopath? Yeah. A psychopath. A guy who wears a lot of undershirts and has numerous robes. He has a robe that's kind of a lighter robe, and then one that's a real cozy winter robe.

Robe. Yeah. He's got a big kitchen, a wife he hates. Right? These are all signposts of Adel. Wears different clothes when he gets home than when he was at work. That's a big one. I think that's a big, like, hey, I'm...

But doesn't wear a uniform, necessarily. No, but he looked as at home in a suit as he did in just track pants and underwear and a wife beater shirt. He looked equally comfortable in all of those attires. Yeah. And he was never flustered when he had to murder a guy. Yeah. He didn't cry about it or psych himself up. He just did it.

Yeah. Tony Soprano. Yeah. Jason Voorhees. Really it or psych himself up he just did it Tony Soprano Jason Voorhees really had to psych himself up come on Jason you've done this a hundred times before the music's playing right now he's looking in the mirror and then he scares himself

how long have I been wearing this mask when the monster pops up it's not a monster because he's the monster that would pop up. Yeah. He's looking in the mirror saying, Bloody Mary. Oh, yeah. What's under this mask? Oh, gross.

Does he ever take it off? Never. Once? Yeah. I think, well, you see young Jason at one point. Yeah, and his eyes are like... Is it Corey Feldman played young Jason? Yeah. I think, well, you see young Jason at one point. Yeah, and his eyes are like... Is it Corey Feldman played young Jason? Am I wrong?

I don't know. You might be right. You mean in the first one? Yeah, one of the first ones. He is the voice of young Jason. Yeah. Hey, guys. No, like Jason's face, he has like weird, like an eye on his cheek and then an eye up on his

forehead like he's like a really he's like sloth yeah he's like no no but he was a regular guy in the first one but then i think when he gets unmasked in like the fifth one or something he's got like a monster's face yeah because he went it all well how did he turn into jason he just went to a doctor and said move move my eye here and here. And also this hockey mask will now make me blind. Well, the weird... Okay, spoiler alert for anybody who wants to watch the whole franchise or whatever. But the first one, Jason isn't Jason at all.

Like the original Friday the 13th movie, Jason dies in it. And at the end, the big reveal is it jason's mom is the one doing all the killing i have never actually seen oh really that blew my mind yeah that's the big reveal is that uh don't spoil psycho for me that's the only other movie i haven't seen oh my god it's like the opposite wait how so jason his mom oh wait jason's not even in psycho but it's the whole thing is that there's this myth about jason has drowned and come back to life and he's killing people but it turns out it's jason's mom taking revenge on the campers that didn't save her son from drowning that's great yeah so there's like a real twist in the first one then in the second one they were like

well let's just say that that kid survived and now he's a psycho killer too jason's uh really scary so we gotta we gotta keep making this yeah so then he comes he's the killer in the second one he survived somehow this drowning comes back to take revenge on kids that were like the ones who let him drown i think i'm getting that part well doesn't he die in a fire yeah then he becomes like supernatural powerful and then he gets like uh knife fingers and goes into people's dreams no that's the other guy oh but he's like he's a tiny little doll but he's like a psychotic doll yeah yeah No, that's a different guy. Oh, okay. And he's Don't feed him after midnight. He's like a huge, like a giant like ape. Yeah. In one of them? Yeah, he climbs

to the top of a tower. He's like a Mexican custard dessert. Is Jason food? Yeah. Is he flan? Is Jason flan? Yeah. I'm gonna ask something right now. Okay. And maybe this is a dumb question. Is it about flan? Is Jason Flan. Yeah. I'm going to ask something right now. Okay. And maybe it's a dumb question. Is it about Flan?

Is Jason Flan? Is Jason Flan? Well, I never have been asked that question, so I don't know if there's a right answer to it. No, you haven't. One of those strange moments where you discover your good friend is handicapped. There's one question that sort of triggered it. One of those moments where you find out your good friend is handicapped. There's one question that sort of triggered it. One of those moments where you find out your good friend is flawed. There's a scene

in Jason Takes Manhattan, because he goes there to do some Broadway musical. Then he takes Berlin. He gets off a bus. He's got a lot of dreams. He's got a suitcase and a machete. He's starring.

He produces an off-broadway show murders the cast before opening yeah the reviews are mixed what have i done i can't go it alone i needed my friend jason jason but there's a scene in it where he confronts a professional boxer who has, the boxer is seen. Oh, so many people get murdered by Jason and his like supernatural powers and decides to like box him. Right. Starts throwing punches. With gloves on? Yeah. No, bare hands.

Okay. And Jason's still wearing a hockey mask. So first of all, imagine how hard it would's still wearing a hockey mask so first of all imagine how hard it would hurt to punch a hockey mask yeah and then also this guy is clearly proven he's supernatural so this guy punched it goes crazy does all these combinations on jason's face and then jason punches him once and his head flies off his body it's one of the greater what movie is this this is jason for jason takes manhattan yeah that's jason ford jason takes manhattan yeah that's a real movie yeah jason takes manhattan yeah he makes his way through all five uh boroughs in

five movies jason takes staten island yeah he kills some break dancers in the bronx yeah he rides the subway kills everybody oh man jason i can't believe i've never seen that movie well Oh, man. Jason. I can't believe I've never seen that movie. Well, if there's any entry point I could recommend, it would be Jason Takes Manhattan. Because it's great. He's walking. Because it took place in, like, 80s New York. Yeah, so he's not that out of place. Yeah, like when he's walking down the street, there's all these guys who are like,

Oh, man, what a crazy mask. Oh, well. This not that out of place. Yeah, like when he's walking down the street, there's all these guys who are like, Oh, man, what a crazy mask. Oh, well. This guy's got flair. Yeah. I see. Yeah. Oh, well. Because, yeah, carrying a machete on the subway back then, that was every other guy.

In 80s New York, he's hanging out with Jean-Michel Basquiat. He's going to see cats. He's voting for David Dinkins Oh, that's pretty good These are three New York things from the 80s That would be great if he was in the audience in Cats And he's all giant, right? Because he kept getting bigger and bigger

Oh, really? Did he really? So he's like a giant guy sitting in the theater And somebody behind him is like Excuse me, sir, could you move over? And he just turns around and knocks her head off pardon me it's a little bit like american psycho yeah yeah it was the prototype for america's legacy he's always returning videotapes oh lordy well dave what's going on with you well uh we are releasing this episode in the new year, but big reveal.

We're recording it before Christmas. Oh, wow. Yeah. Oh, wow. That's me being the listener. Yeah. Oh, wow. And so the last couple of weeks, I've been sick.

Just as sick as a dog. I'm getting over it now. now uh been going to a lot of holiday parties drinking a lot of nog oh yeah well the worst part about being sick at this time of year is that like everything well basically eggnog resembles mucus yeah would you like some holiday snot? No, no. And yeah, like I can't, you know, indulge in a holiday. Hot toddy. I guess a hot toddy would be fine. Yeah, it would be almost perfect. Yeah, but like drinks and a lot of food is no good for me right now.

But yeah, so running around. Keep your weight down during the holiday crunch. Exactly, that's true. I've been doing a lot of holiday crunches. And we've been doing, I've been going to a few parties that have the sort of swap meet where you bring a present and everyone swaps it. And Graham and I went to one the other night and it was big fun. It was big fun. And I wound up with some beef jerky and chocolate with salt on it.

That was my present at the end of the night. That's pretty good. Yeah, that's all. What did you bring to that? I brought some jam and some knives. Oh, yeah. Fancy jam knives. Yeah, jam knives.

I brought a Michael Jackson blanket. Yeah. That had Michael Jackson from Thriller on it. Yeah. Plush blanket. And that was the item that everyone wanted. Yeah. So it got cycled through a lot, which is great.

That was my whole intent. I had to go bargain for it at an Indian sari shop. Yeah. bargain for it at an Indian sari shop. Yeah, which is great because I'd always heard that it's like in the Indian tradition to, like, sticker price means nothing. You know, like, that's where you're starting. But, you know, like, you go in and you say, like, how much does this cost? And she said it was like 60 bucks. And I was like, oh, okay.

Like, I thought I said, oh, okay, like, that seems reasonable for like 60 bucks. And I was like, oh, okay. Like, oh, I thought I said, oh, okay. Like that seems reasonable for a blanket. And then she's like, okay, 50. And I was like,

wow. Yeah. She backed off of that with no fight whatsoever. Let me just reach into my wallet and pull out the money. 40, 40, 40. Who do I make the checkout to?

Yeah. So yeah, we, I didn't realize at first, but then as soon as I knew that I was in the game, excitement. Because then I kept doing like the like, I don't know. Hemming, pawing. Yeah, lots of hemming, pawing. Hand wringing. You know, do you have any cheaper blankets? Yeah, pulling your pockets open and having a moth fly out. hand wringing you know do you have any cheaper blankets yeah pulling

your pockets open and having a moth fly out classic no money gags gambling showing her that I'm wearing yeah bread bags on my feet ma'am I don't even have shoes yeah

showing her a bunch of bad investments I can pay for this Once the crew comes back Yeah, do you take deeds from houses? Yeah I have a sticker that says I just donated blood for money And your boss came in

While you were there and fired you In front of her Which is a good move. Which is crazy because I work at the sorry store. So you can't even use your discount. Stop bargaining with the other sales people. Anyways, it's great. And I'll probably go back there just to buy

some stuff because it's great. You just got a thrill out of the hunt. Because that doesn't happen aside from a flea market or maybe like a Christmas tree lot or something or maybe like a craft fair. There's no...

You go into Best Buy, it's sticker price. There's no hey, can you throw in another workout DVD? I've been to Asia a few times and gone to public markets there where it's all fake Rolexes and fake Louis Vuitton bags. Everything is fake. It's like the prices are completely meaningless.

So you're like, why am I bargaining with this person for this thing that is completely worthless? And we can both acknowledge that this is not a real pair of Nikes or whatever. I like lowballing so much that the person gets offended. Because that's a great tactic to kind of throw them off your feet where they're like, 30 bucks. And you're like, five. And they're like, come on, man. You don't even make me have way on this i always feel bad though because it's like i'm wasting their time it's like they are at work right now no that is their

work i know but i don't even intend on buying this i'm gonna walk away regardless window haggling yeah exactly finally a word for it i like that window haggling so it's just figuring out the price that if you were gonna buy it this is how much i'd love how low i could have gotten it for and then you walk away so the price it goes even further down after you walk away that's you can't be afraid to walk away man rule number one there's a walk away and then there's another phrase that's this is my walking out the door price. Which means I will walk out the door with this right now for this price. Wow.

But then sometimes the seller says that, like, 50 bucks, walking out the door price. And you're like... If you buy this for this, I will leave. I will leave. I will retire. If you buy this for $10 million, I will walk out the door and never be seen again. Please fold up my stand. They give you an option of crawling out a window. Yeah.

Take $5 off and I'll crawl out the fire escape. I can go as low as when they set a ceiling or a floor. These are metaphorical price ceilings and floors. And then they can go under them. It's like the floor doesn't exist. Yeah, the basement. Let's go down to bargain basement prices. That's where that comes from.

Yeah, this is my floor price. Oh, but what's this? A door that leads to a basement? Yeah. How much for this book that when I pull it, the wall spins around? Yeah, what's your secret room price? Oh, fun. Yeah, so I've been doing a lot of that. Oh, wait, the wall spins around? Yeah. What's your secret room, Bryce? Oh, fun. Yeah.

So I've been doing a lot of that. Oh, wait. No, you have. And yeah. Did you get dressed up for every Christmas party you attended? None. I got dressed up for none. I got dressed appropriately.

But... You did? Weren't you wearing a tie at the... Yeah, but I wore that to work that day. Yeah. That's pretty dressed up. I went to my... It's a real picture of adulthood.

I had... One of the parties we went to was our office party. And I had tickets to go see a concert that night that I had bought months before the office party had been planned. And the concert I was going to is this band pedro the lion and they had an album called control about 10 years ago and they were playing it from start to finish and uh but i had to go to my office party first so i was late going to the concert and the album is all about it's about this businessman who cheats on his wife and eventually at the end she kills him.

Classic midlife crisis. Yeah, exactly. But we got there late and so we only got the second half of the album where it's just everything is falling apart and she kills him and it's the most depressing thing. I went from my office party

to this dreary terrible sentiment and then you didn't get any of the jaunty songs about cheating on his wife they're kind of jaunty i mean they're all droney and they have a really kind of depressing sound to begin with but they're more fun like at the beginning because they're all about like the bounciness of the mattress what you're lying um there's something about there's a line about the springs of the mattress that sticks out to me wow i only recall one song on the page of the line it was called like padraic My Prince or something like that. About his brother dying in a bathtub. Yeah. Wow. And he essentially just weeps

into the microphone for five minutes. Yeah, it's a pretty depressing music. Christmas. Yeah, it's really good this time of year. I, uh, do you ever wonder how people can be like, well uh how can people be tragic on stage and stuff like that like how can you put like a like i know people do it but

it boggles my mind that you could like write a tragic book or song or perform yeah you know what i mean like it's uh it's like uh comedy i get it Like why you would want to do it because people laugh. It's a good time. Everybody feels good. But do you know what I mean? Yeah. Have you ever had to act in anything heavy? Tragic?

Not really. No. No. Would you? No, I don't know. I'm not sure. Yeah,

you will. I don't, I, this, I, there was this, uh, 2013,

maybe 2013. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm thinking 2013. There, this guy, uh guy out in Halifax wrote this script where I think

the character had some like it may have been Asperger's okay like that's the main so the guy is trying to go through life I don't know exactly

all the details but he had this like thing yeah yeah this big like acting challenge thing and asked me to do it and i was like no no no what are you doing you put on a funny mustache what the hell are you talking about

have you watched anything i've ever done uh i so appreciate that but then he got this other guy uh reese bevan john out in halifax who like an award for it. Because he's an actor. Because he's a real actor. But you're a real actor. But not in that sense. But that's what I'm saying. Could you? You've conquered comedy. Yeah. I feel like I'm standing on comedy's grave.

You got everything you need to out of comedy. No one's doing comedy anymore because you killed it. And I, again, apologize. Yeah. Well, that's fine. We're good. Yeah.

But no, I think, like, it's one thing to move into... I feel like it's... Like, Adam Sandler was amazing in Punch Drunk Love, but it's one thing to move into a character who's just sort of, like, anger, like, quivering anger. Yeah. And another to, like, I don't another to move into something like a character with Asperger's would be like, so I don't know how you do that.

You can't just leap from comedy into doing something like that. Or can you? Unless you do it tastelessly. You can absolutely do it. It's true. If you're all hung up on doing it well. That's your problem. Alright, okay. I doing it well. Yeah. Yeah. That's your problem. All right.

Okay. I see your point. Yeah. But like, yeah, like a performance. I can see as a musician, if you could write a really depressing song that conveys this one part of your life or this story you're trying to tell, and then you can perform it whenever. You can just go on autopilot.

But that, to me me even seems even stranger like it seems like okay you could write the song in the moment and then you know maybe record it but then having to like revisit that thing over and over again as a comedian you do that all the time yeah but i always fun stuff the other day i was blah blah blah blah that wasn't the other day that was six months ago but yeah but i guess like uh if you like wrote a song about your brother drowning in the bathtub i'm like oh do you want to bring that up every night like here's a song i wrote the other day any request the one about your brother dying? Why would you request that? You cool? Oh, man. Yeah.

Well, 2013. Big acting challenge is coming your way. All right. Like a fortune cookie. Yeah. That's a mutual challenge all the way around. Okay. Double dog dare.

Sure. All right. Yeah. I've been looking for a meaty roll. Yeah. I've been looking for like a bread roll filled with meat. Yeah. Or just a meat roll with some bread in it.

Oh, man. Like a, what do they call those meat rolls? Meat stuffed with bread. Why hasn't anybody done it? A Rulander? Rola? Rolander? Wallander.

He's a detective from Sweden. So, Graham, what's up with you? Can I ask one thing quickly? Sure. Jason Voorhees. He's like Dutch, right? Yeah, yeah. He's a detective from Sweden. So, Graham, what's up with you? Can I ask one thing quickly? Sure, yeah. Jason Voorhees. He's like Dutch, right? Yeah, yeah. He's Dutch.

He's related to Lark Voorhees. Lark Voorhees. Yeah, he is Dutch. Lisa Turtle. That does explain the clocks. He can never sneak up on anybody because of his dumb clothes. Yeah. He kills them with tulips

then they do some marijuana that's the only reason that he survived was because he was wearing clogs and they floated back up to the surface he was able to hang on to the clogs that's probably why they were making fun of him in the first place

he was fine, he was a normal kid but he just insisted on wearing wooden claws. It's weird to think of serial killers with heritage. Yeah. It's not serial, but like movie villains. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like Freddy Krueger is, I don't know. Oh, Krueger I think is German.

Okay. Chucky is a doll. But he is, the murderer ghost that gets into Chucky is a doll. But he is... The murderer ghost that gets into Chucky was like... He was from Brooklyn or something. Right. But they have heritage too. No, that's what I mean.

But like that's where... That's what corner of the globe he hailed from. What are the other ones? King Kong is from Monster Island. Yeah. But his mother was Italian. Yeah. Kong. island yeah but his mother was italian yeah um kong oh you're thinking southeast asian i think it's got to be chinese right yeah yeah either yeah either his mom was a gorilla who married

a chinese guy like her last her maiden name wasn't kong right. His name was Kong. Right. Yeah, I wonder what King Kong. That's a big... Dracula was... Transylvanian. Transylvanian. But yeah, a lot of old-timey ones. It's got to be modern ones from like America. Because everyone from Transylvania is from Transylvania.

Well, I can't remember Jigsaw. He has a... Like the guy from Saw. He has an accent. Yeah. I don't know what kind of accent it is. Yeah. But he's... He looks like... The guy looks like he's also from kind of Eastern Europe.

It's the scariest part of the world. Yeah. Probably. I mean, yeah. When you tally up all the serial killers from there that penetrated America. Yeah, absolutely. Scariest part in the world. Yeah, Borat.

Yeah. I'm trying to think of what went on this week. Oh, yes. See, I haven't been a coffee drinker for years. I stopped drinking coffee because it just made me ill. And then I started drinking coffee again because I couldn't stay awake through a normal work day. So now I'm drinking coffee again and I just go to whatever, whatever coffee shop. I have no allegiance.

I don't care. I don't know anything about coffee. It all tastes the same to me. But the other day I was you've been using that coffee card i gave you uh yep i've used it uh only once because i don't live near okay good that was thoughtful no it was great um but i went into i got a coffee from just some coffee shop i think it was a bean around the world and then uh during a break i was at this thing we're having a meeting and then during the break it was like oh let's go get coffee and i was

like all right i'll just go back across the street with this cup i already have and one of the guys in the meeting was like no we'll go to this cool coffee shop it was in gastown so he took us you know through some windy street i don't even remember what street it was on but it's this coffee shop and we go in there and it's like the most artisanal coffee shop in the world like it's so crazy the coffee comes through like see-through pipes over your head not even like the exaggeration is only just slight in that they're making the coffee this is for real they don't have a cappuccino machine or a thing that just has coffee in it they make every cup of coffee they've got beakers and individual like heating plates with different temperatures and there's fucking thermometers did they use that big cone thing uh i didn't see a cone okay they would pour the thing

in and they would put it on like it was like they were making meth right like it's like it was like the scene in you know any kind of meth scene in breaking bad where it's just like in the in the thing and then there's somebody next to them doing something and it took five people to make one were they wearing like uh waxed canvas aprons uh they were all very yeah they were all wearing bespoke you know like garments sleeve garters yeah yeah it was very you walked in and instantly you were like i'm cool enough to be in here i don't know what the fuck i'm doing here you're hit with like coffee steam that causes your eyes to roll and then so like it is this like there's five people making

one cup of coffee and it's they've got a chart and it's got like all the different coffee types you can have and like here are the notes of the coffee and this is where it's from and this is and i was like notes yeah and i was like, one of them said like nutty. And I was like, I'm allergic to nuts. Does that mean there's nuts in it? And she's like, no, I don't think so. Get out. But I was like, like I literally was just, I did that thing that I think baristas make fun of people for doing.

Where it's like, can I just have a cup of coffee? Like, I really just don't know anything about coffee coffee and I just want to have a cup of it. And so I picked one and then I gave her my cup from the other place because I was like, can I just use this cup? And she looked at me like, well, why don't you just vomit all over my face? Like, why don't you, you're going to ruin the whole experience. And I was like, i really hate being here and apparently they used to not have sugar and milk at all because that would ruin the what they worked for yeah and then like a

fancy restaurant uh not having ketchup yeah yeah yeah right yeah and it was that's probably all right i won't stand for it You're not ordering a hot dog. They bring out a steak and you just pour ketchup on it. A lobster. Don't worry, I brought some ketchup packages in case this place thought it was better than me. Hold on, I thought we were all on the same team here. I'm starting to feel like I'm the only one on team ketchup. same team here.

I'm starting to be like, I'm the only one on team ketchup. It's not like... There's other things you can eat that don't have ketchup. If they're not serving you fries or burgers or craft dinner, then it doesn't necessarily make it a fancy restaurant. Yeah, it's true.

You go to a fancy restaurant like Cactus Club. Subway? Does Subway have ketchup? Subway does not have ketchup. That's exactly what I'm talking about. A fancy restaurant like Subway. Like a New York restaurant like a Subway.

But yeah, anyways, I just... And then it was not... You know, like I say, like, I can't tell the difference between coffee. I know I didn't like that coffee. It was too coffee for me. Like, it was like, whew, this is way too coffee for my pedestrian tastes. And yeah, like I just, and it was so expensive. $5 for just a cup of like coffee not a latte or like a fucking macchiato uh-huh anyways like i just couldn't survive in a big city

like if that's what all the coffee places were like oh imagine jason he just he would allot that lady's head so fast when he brought in his old dirty swamp cup and put it down on the counter and she was like, you're going to ruin the actually, I think a lot of people would cheer in the theater if there was a scene where the barista's like you want us to use your gross swamp cup for the coffee

and then he just drinks it out of her head because he's a monster does he hollow out her head. Because he's a monster. Does he hollow out her head? Yeah. That's a long scene. That's a long time.

No cuts. All right. Goop, goop. Slurp noise. Like a pumpkin. Yeah. A melon baller. Pretty great. Because we've never seen hipsters and Jason interact.

No. Now's the time. America's ready. Yeah. People would go ballistic for that. Yeah. Right? Yeah.

They would. They would think, yeah, there'd be a kid with his pants hanging down low. Yeah. In this one, Jason makes witty retorts when he kills somebody. Yeah. In this one, Jason makes witty retorts when he kills somebody. He can talk and he's fine. So he chops off a guy's torso to make the pants fit properly. Sure. He chops around the V-neck to give him a regular crew neck, boat neck shirt.

Yeah. Cuts off a guy's ironic mustache with his machete. Then cuts off his head. The mustache lands on his mask. Oh, man. The more we talk about it, the more I like this premise, guys. Yeah. Jason takes on Park Slope?

Yeah, something like that. Lordy. Well, let's move on. Overheard. Okay. Overheard. Overheards. slope is that something like that ah learning well let's move on to overhers okay over heard overheards things you may or may not have heard well may have i guess may not wouldn't work uh things you may have heard in your everyday life your everyday struggle um graham shut up uh i love overheards they're great and they're neat. And what I like the most about them is the hearing, I think, and the relaying of the hearing.

What about the overhearing? Oh, overhearing is great. Dave, shut your mouth. Thanks. Because quickly, let's take a quick left turn into the wonderful world of Hulk Hogan news. It's a Hulk Hogan news? It's a Hulk Hogan news? It's a Hulk Hogan news. Now, Mark, are you a fan of Hulk Hogan?

Sure. All right. Because this is some great information I didn't know about Hulk Hogan. I learned for the first time, and you get to hear it almost as recently as I learned it. Okay, so this is a fact that we did not heretofore know about Hulk Hogan. What do we know about hulk hogan what do we know about hulk hogan he's got massive arms yeah likes to tan he's got blonde hair he's five foot four he weighs 80 pounds yeah blonde hair blue eyes uh good kisser uh-huh great lovemaker

yeah uh heartbreaker his beautiful voice at. His finishing move is the atomic leg drop. Yep. Often tag-teamed with Macho Man, sexually. He also got tag-teamed with Brutus the Marrowbeak. Yep. Sexual. This is an interview with a British newspaper, Metro. Oh, the Metro. Here we go.

Yeah, the Met. Xtree, Xtree. Old Ogan makes love. Metro. Oh, the Metro. Here we go. Yeah, the Met. Xtree, Xtree. Hulk Hogan makes love. Hulk Hogan enjoys watching shows on the Oprah Winfrey Network. Own. Yeah. Soulful Sunday has stories about people getting second chances and turning their lives around.

Wasn't a fan of her talk show, but now I'm a big fan because she's very positive and aware of what life's about. Oh, sounds like someone's angling for a show. On the OWN Network? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, like Hulk's, Hogan's Heroes. Yeah, he's gotten a second chance before. Yeah, thirds and fourths. Yeah.

Absolutely. There are second acts fourths. Yeah. Absolutely. There are second acts in life. Yes. Absolutely. Contrary to what F. Scott Fitzgerald may tell you. Yeah, don't listen to that wank. That's metros. Call them a wank.

Yeah. He should what? He should just stop saying it. Yeah. We should bury him. Yeah. Well, if he would shut up we would but he's uh he's a chatty corpse it's a weird chatty corpse it's a weird weird curse he's laboring under well i mean he's cursed but we all have to deal with it absolutely who's really

cursed yeah am i right ladies um american idol he likes watching american idol oh he's still we're still going on yeah oh because there's two more great things wait s scott fitzgerald likes watching american idol yeah and he's like there are no second acts in life but there are on american idol you're like is that the only line you have fc office come on there are yeah there aren't second acts in america but there are an American idol. Shut up. Why did we invite him over here? Why did we bring his corpsey body over here?

Well, you know, and I know, Mark maybe doesn't know, that Simon Cowell produced an album with Hulk Hogan in the 90s. I did not know that. Yeah, it's a rock and roll album. Songs about wrestling. I've heard Macho Man's album. I didn't even know Hulk Hogan had one. This is way before Macho Man's album. Before? And it...

What did it do? It had a number one on the charts or it won a Grammy or some crazy thing like that. What? No. Yeah. I don't know that. It had some kind of asterisk like, actually sold coffees or whatever.

An asterisk. Because Macho Man's didn't, right? It was just everybody had fun just listening to him rap. Yeah, everybody wanked Chung to it. But he says, besides that collaboration, they also worked on an album where all the money went to charity. Simon Cowell and Hulk Hogan? Simon Cowell and Hulk Hogan. Simon Cowell and Hulk Hogan. They got us to do an old Gary Glitter song

with a band called Green Jelly. Oh. Remember Green Jelly? Did they do the Little Pig, Little Pig? Yeah. Hulk Hogan and Green Jelly collaboration. That seems so right. Heavy Metal Nursery Rhyme?

Yeah. Doesn't that seem like the perfect... Yeah, sort of. But with Simon Cowell. Simon Cowell producing. Yeah. Hulk Hogan seem like the perfect, like those guys? But with Simon Cowell. Simon Cowell producing. Yeah. Hulk Hogan probably shredding guitar. Yeah, well, he was. And his abs.

And his shirts. His shirts. Yeah. Of course. All he does is shred. Hates shirts. Who do you think wears tighter t-shirts, Hulk Hogan or Simon Cowell? Like, Simon Cowell's are so tight that I sometimes think they're just going to rip themselves just to get themselves out of that situation.

Sometimes he'll wear a tight sweater with no shirt underneath. Yeah. I'd like to see Hulk do that. I think we'd all like to see Hulk do that. I'm not saying that as a challenge. Like, I'd like to see that, but I'd like to see that. Hulk in a sweater seems like something I've never seen before. Yeah.

Hulk in a sweater. Christmas Hulk. Welcome back. At the risk of being obvious, I really hate Simon Cowell. I really hate him. Yeah. I really am grossed out by his whole deal. He's got the goods, though.

It's him and that guy from the Dragon's den that just rubbed me a weird way. Oh, Oh, Kevin O'Leary. Kevin O'Leary. I feel like he's like the, the bald version of Simon Cowell. Simon Cowell has got a crazy weird haircut.

That's what bothers me the most about Simon Cowell. It is. You're right. Yeah. It's the haircut. Yeah. Cause he looks like, like a,

like a white, like a white basketball player haircut. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like a, like a center, like a seven foot, like big country Reeves, Chris Mullen, Detlef Schrempf, this weird like military.

Yeah. It's not quite military. It's not quite. It's not quite Eric Montrose. It's more of like a Rick Smits, the Flying Dutchman. Sure. The Duncan Dutchman. Now is he?

A bit feathered. All right. Yeah uh now is he a bit feathered all right yeah it is a little bit feathered it does it reminds me of when you see a picture straight on of a gorilla were you gonna say something about jason boyce no um no i heard you say the word dutch yeah uh yeah he's got it's a little it's a little too much. It enrages me when someone with that much money can't get a perfect haircut. Because what am I supposed to do? Yeah, that's true. Also, he's one of those hairy guys. Simon Cowell.

Yeah. Big chest hair. Really? How do you know that? Because it pops out of the top of his gross shirt. Yeah, with nothing underneath. I think that's just the shirt. It's got a chest murk in it.

He's working a murk. Yeah, I mean, isn't that a thing that they say about, like, Donald Trump is like this, the hair is some statement, status statement of, like, it's not that they can't get a good haircut. It's that this is me now. Deal with it. Like, it's almost like they're trying to a good haircut is that this is me now deal with like it's almost like they're trying to bend taste trademark oh yeah yeah like although make us all change our minds to accommodate their ways well i guess they're failing they're both failing they are failing especially donald trump i heard he was a result of a a very botched early on hair

transplant like before they had perfected the technique and that's why his hair's oh yeah they totally perfected the technique now you can't even notice when a bald guy suddenly has hair um but yeah he's got like uh you've seen that diagram? Like the diagram of how his comb-over, how many different comb-overs it has to... There's multiple comb-overs? Yeah. Like flight paths? Yeah.

Overlapping arrows? Yeah. Okay. It's crazy. Like when you look at the... Strand by strand? No, it's section by section. So there's a back to front that covers the very top of his head.

And then there's a left side to right side. From there's a back to front that covers the very top of his head. And then there's a left side to right side. From the front to back. And then the opposite. Does he wave his hair in the air? Like you just don't care? I think it waves all over the place. And he does care. Immensely. Does he do it in the morning or does someone do it for him?

I think somebody does it for him. While he does something gross. Like an engineer. While he does something gross like an engineer while he does something gross some kind of weaver well he just like rests his hands in like beluga caviar does something disgusting oh yeah have you had a manicure ever no you never no me neither i think i would benefit from it benefit well i think i, I think I could use some, like... Yeah, every guy could. I mean, it's not a nightmare of fingernails.

Every guy's hands are a fucking mess. Mine are a nightmare. Yeah, yours... Your hands give me nightmares. These are the kind of hands that, if they appeared in your dreams, and then somehow escaped into the real world yeah they're kind of like if you were covering up hook hands with flesh to make them look like

regular hands that's right that's not right at all your hands are fine they don't look like okay no they do they do they do like raptor hands everybody should i wear the opposite of fingerless gloves. You just wear a finger condom? Just fingers. Even when it's warm. There's a guy, right? Who does that? Sorry. Stop with that tone. There's a guy who does that. No, actually, I think he wears

fingerless gloves. I got it all wrong. He just wears the normal thing. Oh, do you mean Scrooge? No. Scrooge's employee. Oh, yeah. The bike courier. It's a modern day take on a classic. You, boy, what day is it? Why, it's Christmas Day.

Well, we need a premium rush. Premium rush me a goose. The guy, the fashion icon, maybe he's a designer. He's got like a long oh carl lagerfeld yeah he wears the fingerless oh oh yeah abby uh my wife uh loves them and like i forget what movie it is there's some fashion documentary or maybe it was just on him and there's a scene where he just like every day like donald trump with someone weaving his hair into a some kind of crocheted mess every day his ritual is he will lay out hundreds of thousands of dollars of jewelry just on like

a velvet thing and then just go out and like and he puts rings on every finger and he'll just combine different ones and for what suits him that day And there's a scene in the movie of just him starting off with no rings on. And by the end, he's got ten. At least. Oh, wow. Maybe multiple rings on the same finger. I don't know. Oh, wow.

I just heard about this scene. Yeah. No, but it's like exactly. It's what I picture. It's actually what I hope for when I think about a fashion icon guy. I don't like to see a fashion icon guy schlubbing out in just a polo shirt and some jeans. I like a guy who's like, how many rings am I going to watch today? What kind of weird animal am I going to walk around on a leash?

What does this say about me? Yeah. And he has a room that just has scents in it. Oh, man. Oh, it's minty today. For me, it would just be cookies baking. Yeah, sure. Some days it would be, but he's got it on a...

You're thinking of a kitchen. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That would be my scent room. Oh, what is it today? Ooh, a roast. Honey, what you got going in the scent room? Okay, so it's like the kitchen. Yeah. Yeah, that scene that you're talking about sounds a lot like those montages in action movies where they go to like the armory. Yeah, yeah.

And they gear up. Yeah, yeah. They gear up for the big push. You know what you're going to need for this. Yeah, it's like a James Bond thing. Yeah, it's like, well, do you have guns? And then the guy's like, gives him a look, and then opens a wall. Montage.

Yeah, and it's just guns. And then you see them playing. And then, like, you know, assembling guns or whatever you do. I think that happens in that movie with Dennis Rodman and Van Damme. Which one? They were like the Binkrons. Which one? They were like the Bing Crosby and Bob Hope. Which one of their funny road pictures?

We're off on the road to Detroit. It was either Double Team or Double something. It was Double Team. There was one with two Van Dams. There's two of them. Double Impact? And that was Double something. Double Indemnity.

And the remake. With two Van Dams. You're taking out an insurance policy on your twin brother? Dennis Rodman? This is the last thing of this Mr. T. Mr. T slash Hulk Hogan fact. Oh, we're not even at overheard yet. Nope.

But this all fits in because we're talking about a guy who's picking out jewelry every day, picking out what rings he wants to wear. Leads right into this perfectly. Who's Hulk Hogan's favorite TV character? Mr. T. B.A. Baracus. He was the original tough guy with all the bling and charisma. Mr. T and I became friends, and years later I got him into wrestling.

I was actually in three or four episodes of the A-Team. Then the writer tried to get me to be B.A.'s partner. But George Pappard and Mr. T. hated each other in real life. They were always arguing when I was on the show. I felt like they put me in the middle, so I said no. It was too much stress. So guys, the A-Team

could have had Hulk Hogan as a fifth member, hanging out and blowing shit up. Speaking about arming up, going into the armory, putting on rings. He would have been like that weird comical robot from the Fantastic Four. Just the fifth member, the hanger-on. I don't know about this comical robot. Do you know from the cartoon he just had punchlines?

He was just sort of nebbish like C-3PO and he would just roll around and the human church would be like, he'd get out of there and then the robot would be like, he'd get out of there, and then the robot would be like, I think we're in for it now. They'd be like, fuck up, man, come on. Yeah, Hulk Hogan. Have some confidence. It's gonna

finally be the Fantastic Three this time. So you're imagining Hulk Hogan joins the A-Team, and he's like a nerdy guy who has no confidence? Yeah, he's got big glasses with the tape. I think he's just the fifth wheel, and he's like a nerdy guy who has no confidence? Yeah, he's got big glasses with the tape. I think he's just the fifth wheel and he's the outsider who tosses in comments

about what the rest of them are doing. Brother. Yeah, but he's always worried about how things are going. I don't know if we should blow up this Jeep. Check the insurance. Then they turn them off Yeah

Alright Now it's time for overheards For real for real guys And we always like to start with the guest Okay Did you bring Did you come equipped With an overheard

I was thinking about it today Alright yes awesome I got a couple recent things That I overheard in Toronto Fantastic One is just like A snippet of a conversation it today yes awesome uh i i got a couple uh recent things that i overheard in toronto fantastic one is just like a snippet of a conversation that implied so so much it really delighted me i was walking through a park and uh it was two women talking to each other and one of them was saying uh so i won two like i won these two tickets to the Blue Jays game. And guess who I invited?

And then her friend said, Janine, you have to stop doing this to yourself. Then they were out of earshot. It's amazing. I invited George Pappard. He's my boyfriend. Jason Voorhees. Every time I have a moment of weakness,

I invite Jason Voorhees. He kills me. He kills me every time and I won't learn. I time I have a moment of weakness, I invite Jason Voorhees. He kills me. He kills me every time and I won't learn. I think I like it. I just keep going back. Glutton for punishment. I'm going camping this weekend. Guess where? Crystal Lake.

Don't do it. It's not too late to get out. I know. I know. You don't know the man behind the mask I mean, technically I definitely don't either He's got a real monster face I know one thing about him, he's gonna kill me I think on some level

I like the attention I don't know what it is Dave, do you have an overheard? You have more? like the attention. I don't know what it is. Dave, do you have one over here? You have more? Oh, you have more. Do you want us to go around and come back to you? Sure. Okay. This is mine. It's very short.

It was yesterday. I was leaving work and there was a woman standing by the elevator on a cell phone. It's very quick. I only caught two sentences. One's not even an entire sentence. I'm really building this up. There we go.

And I just heard her end of the conversation. She's waiting for the elevator and she says, she ate the scissors? Okay. Okay. She ate the scissors? Okay. Yeah, because it's like during surgery to get them out, the doctor would be like, scissors, and they'd hand them scissors.

He'd be like, no, scissors. A little hand reaches out of the stomach. Fun gag. Yeah. I assume she was talking about an animal eating scissors and probably just chewing them up. Because otherwise you'd be freaking out. Oh, yeah. Or those little pocket scissors that fold up. Because you wouldn't die if you swallowed those. Oh, that's true.

Unless they came unfolded. You were doing crunches and you accidentally unfolded them using muscles. You could probably put them in a condom and swallow them and then smuggle them. Yeah, that's true. Smuggle them. Smuggle those fold up scissors that are like a key chain, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, but how do you get them out? Same way they went in. Barf them out. Barf them. How do you get anything, any swallowed condom out? I don't know. I don't, I tell you, keep asking and I keep telling you.

I don't know. Well, I need an answer because my stomach is a rumbling. Yeah. Now, Graham, do you have overheards? I do. And it's kind of meta. Yeah. Because I was standing at a train station with past guest Phil Hanley.

And we were chatting. And I was chatting about some gig or something. And a guy just blazed past us trying to catch a train and as he ran past us shouted out overheards and they just ran off and got the train it was pretty great oh that's nice yeah it's nice to be recognized yeah it was great and we laughed and i don't know what he heard and maybe someday he'll call in with you and then it'll fold in did you uh were you saying anything yeah about what i wasn't paying attention uh gig oh yeah some guy was booking sounds terrible oh yeah man you do not want to do that gig i don't um or i do and it was booked at the wrong time or something i don't remember what i had i like to complain well i hope that guy calls

in yeah me too that would be the best. You know who you are. You had a backpack with a giant notepad sticking out of it. Looked like a cool guy. Nice beard. Nice beard. Nice short cropped haircut. He had rings. He had rings on every finger and he was like, you picked him out that morning.

He had a ponytail. He had giant glasses. There was a stuffed bear version of him. A tall collar that covered up his hideous neck. Yeah, he's hideous. You're 90 years old. Yeah, your crazy droop neck. You only wear black and white.

Is that right? Karl Lagerfeld? Yeah. Not ever a yellow, like just a highlight? Like a pop of color? Yeah. I don't know. Oh, well. Now, Lagerfeld. Mm- I don't know. Oh, well. Now, Lagerfeld.

Mm-hmm. That name. Oh, yeah. I would probably say, I don't know, German. Probably German. German? Okay. Yeah.

We're not thinking... Dutch? Do you want Dutch? I want Dutch. I'm pushing for Dutch. I mean, Van Lagerfeld? Absolutely. But I don't think so.

Lager, he's... Yeah. Karl Lagerfeld reminds me a lot. The name reminds me a lot of Kenny Lagerfeld. That's a weird alter ego. Lagerfeld and Messina. Yeah, I think Karl Lagerfeld did the Footloose soundtrack. Well, I wish I knew how his voice went,

because then I would sing Footloose. Something German sounding maybe with a hint of Dutch you had another overheard? in the mix? I passed a crazy guy on the sidewalk with an enormous beard and I just again

yelled over he yelled that at me he yelled he was talking to himself it looked like he was talking to he yelled that at me. He yelled, what did he, he was talking to himself, to someone, it looked like he was talking to someone he imagined.

And he was saying, well, you know, it took me five years to grow the beard. Oh, that's nice. Yeah. Well, I don't know what that was. He was talking to somebody that he imagined. Usually, if you see a what that was. He was talking to somebody that he met.

Usually, if you see a crazy person talking to themselves, they're yelling at someone who won't stop hassling them. But it was someone who took an interest in... It sounded like someone who wanted to offer him a job. But there was certain things that had to get worked out. Yeah. You're going to have to shave the beard. And it took me five years to grow it.

It took me five years to grow the beard. Now, also, maybe it was him showing that he can make a commitment. He's talking to a visible lady that he wants to talk to. Oh, very good. Yeah. And she's like, I don't know if you can make a commitment. He's like, well, it took me five. Yeah.

Name one thing you've committed to. Well. Yeah, you've quit everything you've started that that cook cooking class we took now we also have uh overheards sent in by people from around the world uh if you want to be the same as those people why don't you send them in to stop podcast yourself at gmail.com but you can still be an individual yeah Yeah. Oh, absolutely. Just being similar. Yeah. This first one comes to us from a gentleman in Texas.

I'm not going to say his name because he really badmouths his current girlfriend. And it's really funny. Okay. Well, because, okay. So, a couple of days ago I overheard... You say current girlfriend because it's not going to be forever. No, it's not going to last. She hasn't found her forever home.

A couple of days ago I overheard a woman triumphantly end a debate with this coup de grace. Sure, but wasn't George H.W. Bush also a communist? No. In truth, he says, this was not an overheard. It was a heard. The woman is my girlfriend. And she said that to me with a completely straight face. So there's a little taste of my hilarious personal hell.

Jesus Christ. He goes on to explain another one About her confusing Indignant people with Indigenous people And he says There's some crossover I'm sure she'll have something great to say when we break up

So I'll be writing again soon Look she's hot and I'm shallow So this is rough That's the first time That anybody's ever, like, kind of woven a personal narrative into the overheard. That's weird. It was weird, but I like having shallow listeners. I like it a lot. That's why I've been doing these crunches.

I just wish we had really good-looking listeners. Was the guy's name Tucker Max? Is that who wrote that is he the guy i hope they serve beer in hell yeah assholes finish first or something um who knew that could be a thing that you could be for a career and make like a whole career out of it like a like a just a womanizer just like just being a dick yeah just being a Like, because he's, that's his whole thing, beyond being a womanizer. Yeah. But it's more than being a dick. It's being the poster boy.

Yeah, that's true. Yeah. But then there's that other guy that... Kicks the ladder up from under him so no one else can. Yeah. Classic dick. What was the guy that started that website? Is anyone else up?

Yeah, is anyone up? Yeah. Yeah. Like, that guy's like a what's that dick that was the guy i was gonna reference but i couldn't remember his name yeah i can't remember what's that tucker max uh he was like he started this website where other tucker max guys yeah could post pictures of like their ex-girlfriends is anyone up is anyone up and then it's gone now he got rid of it because there was so much heat on it and he was getting legal, all sorts

of, you know, lots of heat. It would be like they would post pictures with like a revenge vibe, naked pictures of people, but then he would track down that person's Facebook page and then post like who it was. Oh, so the picture of the Facebook page okay so it was like you'd see this person naked and then you'd see their public profile combined so it's just this very big um mean this is very mean yeah yeah um and what did the the title of the is anyone up what did that refer to uh i think it was like he started it was just like him and his buddies posting photos when they were drunk.

And so it was like, is anyone up? Like, I'm up, being an asshole. Anybody else? And then he sold it. He already gave the domain to an anti-bullying website. Oh, okay. But now he's starting a new website that he's like, this is going to be ten times worse than any... He's like this is gonna be 10 times worse than any is anyone he's like yeah if you watch his interview on cnn he's a real he's a real bag of shit he's a weird guy yeah he like

he's totally unrepentant but periodically he tries to slide in some sort of philosophy some sort of thing about reflecting the way the world is he's not the monster the world's a monster and he's just showing but then that always gets uh that always just gets watered down and ultimately what he's saying is like oh did i do that he's just like he's like an urkel he's like a modern day he's a jerkle he's a cheeky little jerkle uh and that's so that's like his thing is He's just naughty. Oh, yeah. He's naughty. Like, whoopsies. Did I post that picture? Uh-oh. Did someone cry? I'm a bad little boy.

Oh, no. And that's the thing. And so he's just like a little kid. But women love him. Oh. Except the ones that don't. Except for the small pocket of women that don't. Apparently women throw themselves at him and they want

to be on this website and they want to be part of his. Those who love him love him a lot. Really smart women. Yeah. Not your Gloria Steinem's. Yeah. Rachel Maddow wants to be on this website. This other this is another overheard. Comes to

us from right uh, right here in our own backyard. Coquitlam. Oh, wow. Um, didn't, uh, uh, put the name, but you know, that's fine. Um, my wife and I went to see the Hobbit in the theater the day after opening day. After the commercials and previews ended, the lights turned off. It was time for the feature presentation.

The Hobbit. The Hobbit. Just a refresher. As the opening music began, however, the screen stayed black. There was murmuring among the audience, and when the first lines of the movie were spoken and the screen was still dark, that's when people started booing and loudly voicing their displeasure.

There were sarcastic comments about the amazing 3D effects and how the high frame rate is really noticeable. But the best line was when a guy yelled above all the noise, everyone be quiet! I'm trying to listen to the movie! Pretty great. Pretty great theater guy. Yeah, way to go. Making the best of a bad situation. Yeah, it's a lot of fun when

somebody's like, oh, everybody's shutting out stuff. Time to double down and really I'm gonna be the best guy yelling out things. It would be great if he yelled something that just went nowhere. That everyone hated. Like I just did. Guys, did you

see that movie? I have not. That movie, Pooh. That movie is the Pooh. Wait, so it's good? Yeah, it's the shit. It was amazing. That movie sucks. Oh, does it? amazing that movie sucks oh does it yeah well I'm not

I hadn't planned on seeing it and I'm still not gonna change my plans were you excited for it no okay but then the opening sequence is amazing

so I got stoked okay but did you like the Lord of the Rings movies no I didn't me neither I don't know why I went it's weird because

I had a friend I got in an argument with somebody who was like, it's a movie people aren't afraid to get in your face about, right? The Lord of the Rings. The Lord of the Rings. If you go, I just don't like it. Right.

You're like, what do you mean? I mean exactly what I said. Like there was no shades of anything for you to misunderstand. I just don't like those movies. Yeah, not my thing. Yeah, it was the most epic. Yep. I didn't say it wasn't epic. I just don't like those movies. Yeah, not my thing. It was the most epic... I didn't say it wasn't epic. I said I didn't like it.

I've gotten so many arguments about it. Always with nerds. You can't win. Even if you win, you lose. When you win, you're like, I won by losing. But yeah, The Hobbit. Why the fuck would I go see the second tier thing of a thing I don't like? Right?

The more drawn out version. Yeah, exactly. There's a sequence for five minutes. A bunch of dwarves sing and do the dishes. There was an Onion headline that was something about how The hobbit features a 53 minute scene of him packing that is so close to the truth it's insane it's insane it's like they have this seven minute uh 10 minute opening sequence that's uh high energy and like fast-paced yeah it's like morality tale about greed he steals a car he's a dwarf he drives to the past takes over and then a dragon takes his shit

yeah but then it just like gears down so heavily it's insane i yeah i the book you haven't read the book have you i never i read the word i never read the hobbit no yeah i hear the book is quite drawn out like quite there's there's a lot of focus on the minutiae of meals. Yeah. I feel like you can do that in a book. Yeah. Specifically meals. My dinner with Bilbo. Pretty good.

This last one, also Lord of the Rings related. Finally. Was standing in line at Starbucks. The guy in front of me ordered a latte and the cashier asked him his name for the cup, to which the man replied, Voldemort. The cashier... No, Voldemort is... Harry Potter. Harry Potter, thanks.

The cashier, without batting an eye, wrote the name on the cup, handed it to the very busy barista. The man looked very dejected and went to wait for his coffee. Dejected? The barista finished his drink shortly after and picked up the cup and loudly announced, I have a mocha for Volt, he who shall not be named. Pretty great.

Cute. Cute, right? Yeah. If that was, you know, two single people that were looking for love, they found it. Yeah. That's it.

That's as good as it gets. Mm-hmm. Modern day love? Don't get me started. I won't. I was hoping it was going to be like... Because they're notorious at Starbucks for just getting the name wrong.

Someone just wrote Vladimir. Foldemart. Flandermort. Flanderman. Guys, in addition to overheards that are written in, we also accept flandermort flanderman guys in addition to overheards that are written in we also accept phone calls you want to call us you got the goods put your money where your mouth is

put your finger where your dial pad is you put a 2 to the 0 to the 6 you go 339 83208 wait no 206 339 83 8 no extra oh hello dave and graham uh this is a uh drunk dial uh hello boys uh i'm gonna try to uh give you an overseen. So, uh, I was hanging out with my family, and, uh,

oh. Didn't go well. Okay, uh, happy holidays, boys. Bye. Oh, man! First of all, the greatest thing

I was winning was Hello boys Like he was saying Like come on up And see me Well I love the ones When someone calls in With an overheard And they screw up

And they hang up And they panic Yeah But this one He I don't think he screwed up I think he said I was hanging out

With my family And it didn't go well That was my overseen Oh shit That was my overseen. Oh, shit. That was great. Yeah. Whew.

Top drawer. Next phone call. Hey, Dave Graham and probable guest. My name's John. I live in Oklahoma. I've got a combination over said, over heard. When I was doing karaoke the other night, I was fairly drunk and decided I was going to sing the song The Freshman

by The Verpipe. I went through, sang the song, and sat down. I expected to get some kind of high fives or applause or something for singing it, but everyone at the table I sat at was kind of staring at me, mouths agape, kind of shocked at what I had done. I kind of looked around and I said, what are you looking at me like that for? Now, one of the people spoke up and said, don't you know what that song's about? And I'd never really given it much thought, but I was like, no, I guess I don't really.

And they said, it's about abortion. And I was like, wow, I didn't know that. That kind of sucks. Everyone kept on looking at me. And I kind of looked back up and I was like, well, why are you still looking at me and another person piped up and said uh i don't know if you know this but you dedicated that song to the troops wait a minute wait a minute who has ever dedicated a karaoke song i think drunks

oh yeah drunks drunks i want to send this one out to the troops dedicate a karaoke song. I think Drunks. Oh yeah, Drunks. Drunks. I want to send this one out to the troops. For the life of me I cannot believe we never died for this since we were only freshmen. You don't remember that song?

No. But you do. By the Verve Pipe. I've heard the Fresh Mint parody of that song. Yeah. Gum commercial song. Yeah. The gum commercial parody. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's also about abortion. It is. Because what, aborting a bad breath? What? From your body. Uh-huh. The Verve and Verve Pipe. Different.

Different. Same era. Yeah. Very confusing. Yeah, why was Verve such a hot Very confusing for moms trying to buy albums for their kids The Verve was the band that He was very cocky The lead singer said that their second album

Was going to be the best of all time Or something like that Bittersweet symphony guy Richard Ashcroft. He got sued. Like, he lost all the money from that because he sampled the Rolling Stones. He sampled an album of classical,

like, orchestral covers of the Rolling Stones. So that's not for Bittersweet Symphony? Yeah, but it was the Rolling Stones that sued him, right? Oh. It's just weird. It's like, we're suing you for a cover version they just anyways yeah and so yeah they uh they got i think like 100 of the money from that song yeah but the stone yeah stones did yeah no yeah this was back in a time when when people still bought albums so so they've been like at least the band got the money from the other songs on the albums that's right yeah but like also uh that guy and

the lead singer of radiohead they were having a weird looking off oh yeah those two were trying to be the weirdest looking guy in britain oh all english lead singers are do you think the the guy from pulp wasn't in on it yeah he probably he probably. He was. I mean, compared to those two guys. They both look like Jason Voorhees. No, they both look like Hobbit. When I picture Jason Voorhees without the mask, I'm picturing Darth Vader without the mask. Kind of like more reptilian, darker skin tone. More reptilian.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cobra Commander without the mask. Yeah. Yeah, like a snake. Like a snake's face. Picture like a snake without a mask on. Like, you know how you comment on a picture? Snakes with masks.

Now, remove the mask in your mind. Because their faces are so suited to having a flat or vertical mask. What if you saw a snake wearing a mask? Like a Richard Nixon mask. Like slithering? Like it's disguised? Like it's pulling one over? If it was point break and one of the characters

is a snake. Point snake. Now I have a question for you guys about Nixon's body. Limbs, right? He's got limbs? Okay, that's a snake. That's a snake. That's not Nixon. That's a snake coming at us. Crazy question. Was Nixon the one who

put his arms out and gave the two victory signs? Or did he have more like a snake kind of arms? In that movie Frost Nixon, did Nixon swallow Frost Hole? Because that's what's happening with this Nixon with me right now. This particular Nixon.

I'm going to go out on a limb. Just a snake. Snake it to me. Did you guys see the new Spider-Man movie? I saw the new Snake-Man movie. Speaking of reptiles. So you remember the lizard guy? Do you remember that weird scene? It's been haunting my life.

That scene where Peter Parker has shown him the formula that his dad came up with to perfect this, like, gene-splicing thing. Oh, okay. Yeah. Perfect cookies. Yeah. His secret lasagna recipe. Yeah.

Because the lizard has been opening the oven door. And it's just a mess. No, no. You just turn the light on inside, lizard. Wait, wait, wait. But there's a light on? The lizard guy's always got to be near a hot light. Yeah, yeah.

He's like pasted up against the... So he's looking, he's showing him the... He got the formula. So like it's now, it's going to be possible to use like limb regeneration from a reptile to regenerate limbs in a human. Right. That's like, tomorrow, I'm going to the office, and it's going to be possible. And so the personal motivation of this guy, the scientist guy, the lizard guy, pre-lizard, is that he doesn't have an arm.

He's got a little stub. Yeah. And so he wants this to happen. He's dreamt of it. And there's just this scene before he goes to bed that night where he's out of his lab coat and he's in his house. He's in front of the mirror and he's wearing a tank top. And he's just sort of looking at himself in profile in the mirror with his little stub towards the mirror and kind of looking like wistfully and dreaming. But it's like he's got kind of an awkward...

It just looks like a preteen girl dreaming of breasts. But it's exact pose. He's already got a weird body Are you there God it's me lizard guy He's holding up the shirt Holding it up He's stuffing his Yeah he's got He's got a paper towel roll

On his stump He's looking at it like He's got a picture towel roll on a stump and he's looking at it like he's got a picture of the boy he knows will ask him to prom wants the arms back but what they didn't factor in and they never do is that it will turn you into a reptile

it's right here I've heard this story a thousand times Cindy these drugs are just going to turn you into breasts It's not worth it Boys are only into girls who have a whole arm Someone made that choice Sorry to keep that scene The whole movie

Is a series of weird choices Made by the director The studio, the actors, the writers. It's just all like... You're talking about movies? Specifically, the newest Spider-Man. But that Spider-Man, like, there's everything in it.

You're like, really? What? Why? Oh! It's just a series of disappointments. Yeah, that's when the movie came on, like The Hobbit with no picture showing. You could just hear people in the audience grunting. All right, guys. Final overheard show.

Here we go. Here we go. This is it. Dave, Graham, possible guests. This is Mike from Augusta. This is Mike from Augusta, and I just had a brain explosion of a confluence of an overheard and momentous occasion from your and a Hulk Hogan news that I could not not call. I was at a party in Clearwater Beach, Florida this weekend and passed Hulk Hogan's beach shop. We went in and checked it out before we got brunch across the street

at the Clear Sky Cafe. While we were at the cafe, Hulk Hogan came in, was seated for brunch a few tables away, and while eating at one point, a group of children were with their parents. And this one was, I don't know, 10 or 12, and just kept staring at Hulk Hogan, who, by the way, goes out in full Hulk Hogan regalia, red shirt, yellow bandana. And the kid just wouldn't stop staring.

And caught Hulk's eye, and Hulk just said over to him, Eat your breakfast, brother. Of course he did. Yeah, he wrecked his dog. Yeah, not to mention your vitamins. Oh, man. Amazing. Yeah, of course he does.

That's the whole Hulk Hogan. He's not a fictional character. He just dresses like one. He just dresses like one. He just dresses like one, yeah. He's like taken, he's melded it into a real thing. Like he goes, he looks like Hulk Hogan all the time. Yeah, he's like a guy in a Hulk Hogan costume. Yeah.

And, oh man, I can't wait to go to that beach store. It's happening? Well, yeah. 2013? Yeah, 2013, absolutely. Really? Well, I don't know how long it's going? Well, yeah. 2013? Yeah, 2013. Absolutely. Really? Well, I don't know how long it's going to be open for.

So, you know, things change a lot in the world. So I want to see it. I believe that that listener posted a photo of the inside of it. Oh, really? It was there on Twitter because he has all his belts are all on display there. Okay. What size belt does he wear? Wrestling.

Champion size. Oh, those kinds of belts. Yeah, here's a weird one from the 90s when everybody's wearing those weird threaded belts or woven belts. But he does use those championship belts to hold up his pants. His belt loops are crazy.

Yeah, to hold up his pants, which are all spandex. Spandex with belt loops. With enormous belt loops. Spandex with fly. Button fly. Well, that brings us to the very end of this year's show. I know.

Thank you for being our guest. Thank you very much for having me. Now, is there anything coming up you'd like to plug? We're in January. We're in January. I'm thinking like the 8th of January is when this comes out. Well, I guess Mr. D season two will be starting. Oh, cool.

So that's... On CBC television? On CBC television. It's the premier comedy show in all of Canada for people south of the border or elsewhere that have maybe not heard of Mr. D. It's the big show. It's our... What? Everybody Loves Raymond?

What was big? What's a big sitcom on TV now? Mr. D? Yeah, Mr. D. It's our Mr. D. It's also available on Netflix. Yeah, that's true. Check it out. And if you can get a Canadian IP address, you can use that on your Netflix so that, that's true. Check it out. And if you can get a Canadian IP address, you can use that on your Netflix so that your selection

shrinks by 90%. But it's worth it. Get a Canadian Netflix account. It's definitely worth it to not be able to watch the things that people on blogs are like, hey, check it out. The Mike Birbiglia movie is now on Netflix.

I watched a movie made in Halifax the other night. Oh, yeah? No way that's on the American Netflix. Which movie? No way. I can't remember what it was called. It was about a troubled young man. Okay.

He was autistic. Yeah, he was autistic. I would say we won a lot of awards. That's what I heard. Oh, boy. And where can people find you online if they want to find out more about Mark Little? You do a lot of stuff. You have a lot of different things that you could go see online, right?

Yeah. Is there like a central place? Not really. No. You're on Twitter. You're on Twitter. I'm on Twitter. Mark Mark Little.

Mark Mark Little. You're daddrives.com Picnic Face And Anything else? I don't know, yeah, I mean if you just Google Mark Little Don't, because there's tons of us

There's so many of us Oh, is that right? Is there a specific Mark Little that comes up more than you? Or is there one who has reached out and been like, I hate you, buddy. You're ruining my Google searches for myself. Yeah, you've got to be the most. You're the preeminent Mark Little. No.

What? I'm in heavy competition with an Australian Mark Little who was on a soap opera called neighbors oh neighbors is huge and he's so he's i think he's based in england and he's so in australia and england he's the mark little and then in st louis there's a minor league baseball player named mark little and he's the minor league baseball is huge yeah okay and then there's a dj somewhere and there's like an irish journalist dj somewhere is a good name yeah dj somewhere yeah yeah playing at the rainbow somewhere or the rainbow uh dave yeah do you have anything coming up i don't

know i don't think so yeah whatever yeah yeah it's my richard ashcroft impression um Well, check out MaximumFun.org for a blog recap that Dave does each and every week. Photos and videos relating to the content of the show. Surely there's going to be a picture of Mr. Voorhees somewhere. If not the video clip of him knocking that boxer's head off. I'll try. Great. Yeah, the kinds of stuff we talked about today

we'll probably put that Mark Little from Neighbors on oh yeah I want to see get a gander and yeah if you like the show feel free to leave a comment on iTunes and tell your friends

and come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself.