Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 253 - Devin Mackenzie

Episode Date: January 22, 2013

Improviser Devin Mackenzie joins us to talk scones, The Carrie Diaries, and ATM estimates.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 253 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name's Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who's enjoying this Saturday fog, Mr. Dave Shumka. Yeah, it's a real spooky time of year. Yeah, it really is.

There's a fog coming out of all the cauldrons. We are doing our best to stave off the wolves. Yeah, there's a man. That's right. There's a man with a wagon who's sharpening knives. There's a man with a gun over there telling we we got to be well. Yeah. Well, yeah.

What is happening here? Yeah. Stop. And our guest today, returning guest to the podcast wrong first time first time that's right uh it was your partner in crime ex-partner that's right i have a doppelganger who has the exact same name as me that's right oh so my apologies first time guest on the podcast very funny comedian member of uh pump trolley comedy and uh uh host or co-host of the once a week uh hip bang comedy show that's right uh mr uh devin lohi hey guys devin mckenzie you know i did that one on purpose i'm a spot

devin mckenzie devin loheed was uh your partner from our one-time podcast rival that's right yeah sandwich yeah no it's a it's a big deal to be on the show now, I feel. Yeah, it's a huge deal. It took a lot of time for us to get over our rivalry, anger. Absolutely, this is totally a Lance Armstrong

Oprah moment. They hated each other. Because he kept destroying her at biking. She was so bad at it yeah gail was on the other half of her tandem is there a tour de france but for tandems oh there should be yeah like but like just for couples yeah for lovers yeah or just like people who seem like they would be on tandem bikes, like Oprah and Gail. They're not a couple. Dr. Phil and his wife. Yeah.

Dr. Oz and a thing made out of vegetables to show you how good vegetables are. Two of the hosts of The Doctors and the other two hosts of The Doctors. Really just TV daytime doctors and Oprah. Mario Batali and somebody who's really strong peddling for Mario Batali. Yeah. Darlene from Roseanne and her lesbian lover. Oh, yeah. What's her name?

I don't know. Maria Batali. What? Guys. Devin. Yes. Do we want to get to know us? Yeah, of course.

Get to know us. Welcome. It's nice to have you here. It's great to be here. Tell us what's going on. We were chatting up in the kitchen? We were, yeah. Well, I recently quit my job. Yes. So that's exciting. I'm unemployed.

I find this is a step. Like, a lot of people come on this show directly after quitting a job. Quitting a job or putting their foot down. Some sort of situation. Yeah. You know, we had Erin Brockovich on after she had uncovered a scandal. We had The Rock from Walking Tall. Dwayne.

Dwayne The Rock, Walking Tall. So you could, like, did you quit in, like, just in person? Like, I'm out of here. Yeah, well, I gave my notice, and I let them have longer than two weeks. I did it very politely. In this day and age, you really have to rely on those references, right? So you've got to make sure everything's cool. Especially if your Google search for your name is embarrassing.

Yeah. You really need to rely on your references. Absolutely. Yeah. Does your name still come up Yes. You really need to rely on your references. Absolutely. Does your name still come up with a blowjob example? No. But that was I was on an episode of your show with that title. Yes. And I asked you to

maybe change the title as I was that kept coming up when I googled myself and I was looking for work at the time. Does it still come up? I don't think so. Oh, good, good. I feel really bad. Oh, no. Although you gave great examples.

Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah. What was the thing? I don't know. Why did it, why, Dave's Blowjob, what? That was the title of the episode of their shock jock podcast that I was on. Well, because I used to, there used to be a google result for me it was some kid named graham clark videotaping himself throwing up after being drunk that was one of the top three things that would

come up graham clark drunk or throwing up drunk i can't remember but did he look like you a little bit was he like no he was like 14 and I was like 16. Was that something that Google suggested after Graham Clark? Yeah, yeah. And it wasn't that popular of a clip, but, you know, it was just all the... I mean, I must have watched it more than anybody. Trying to figure out how do I... How do I top this? So you did it nicely nicely you left your job you're like

hey i'll give you all the time in the world to find a replacement exactly yeah but uh you know i almost did it the opposite way because the reason i quit my job is because one day i was like serving i was working in a coffee shop for those that don't know in a fancy coffee it's like a nice yeah it's a nice nice coffee shop we do pour over coffee you know we we source we source all our beans from like single origin yeah you do the roasting in-house yes we do uh but what happened was i was like pouring coffees and uh serving scones that's one thing i'm not gonna miss i'm not gonna miss describing scones to people that is like what if if you want a scone like you know what a scone

is a scone is dense bread yeah i don't need to like make up your mind it's also very crumbly yeah it's a dry triangular muffin yeah exactly it's like well what do you want me to well one savory one sweet you know that's that's as far as i could would a good place for a tea shop be called a scones throwaway yep yep skipping scones skipping scones in scones in scones yeah so uh so yeah i was like serving scones and coffees and i suddenly just stopped moving and there was a huge lineup and i wistfully looked out the window and i there's like a dog out there i was just chilling having a good time like the leaves were kind of blowing and i just uh i was like i don't i'm not and i just stood there for maybe like two to three minutes while people just like moved all around me oh

that's when i that's when i decided i'm like this is i've hit a wall that's kind of like that's that's like a scene out of a movie where everything keeps moving around you. Yeah, totally. Yeah. Yeah. Only, yeah, it was real life. Yeah, man. Yeah. Wow.

And I'm surprised I didn't get fired right there. Just like, pat it on the back. Like, move! There's coffees to be made! Do you just start eating a scone really slowly? The entire thing, it's so dry. They are so dry. What is the...

Now, I know you don't want to describe scones, but what is the purpose of a scone? I think it's just to put a base in your stomach to absorb the coffee. Ah. I think it's just for tradition. Yeah. For posterity's sake. Because it's not good, right? I've had two good scones in my life.

Really? Yeah. One was cinnamon and one was blueberry and white chocolate. Were either of them in this country? Yeah. Really? Yeah. Wow.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's a pretty good scone. But in general, no. No scones. Thanks. We're British. yeah it's a pretty good school but in general no not no scones thanks we're british

um because i used to work at a coffee shop and the scones that we had were enormous like they were the size of uh like a giant pretzel like they were it was like pizza dough before you spread it out yeah yeah yeah like took up a whole plate to itself and i was like it almost looks like a fungus or like a like a big like or a dump you know just like big cow patty that's what you're talking about right yeah a big bready cow but it was like so like it was like ordering a like a small pizza for yourself and just eating it at a coffee shop well that wouldn't be the worst idea is that a thing that exists could i go to a coffee shop. Well, that wouldn't be the worst idea. Is that a thing that exists? Could I go to a coffee shop and order a small pizza? We used to get those pizza pretzels that were like the size of a plate. Yeah.

Those were great. Yeah, that's true. Those are great. Those were all dough. Oh, yeah. What happened to those? I think you can still get them at like a supermarket. Or a Safeway or something.

Yeah. But see, to me, that's an example of there's not too much of a good thing but scone is not even a good thing and there's too much of it how could they call those pizza pretzels though that was just bread with a like a thin dusting of tomato sauce and cheese was there cheese of course okay well i know the ones you're talking about i'm talking about a big dough you're talking like the discount you're talking about down market but yeah it's just like a red pretzel basically you guys i was really poor growing up i got the discount pizza pretzels but it wasn't even pretzel bread it was just white bread oh yeah it was delicious yeah it was great it's everything you need for a growing boy yeah yeah your doctors recommend that you have two to three pizza pretzels a day. You guys, we obviously just need to start our own pizza pretzel and scone shop in the city.

Yeah, but no liquids. But no scones. We clearly don't like scones. Why would we add that to the equation? And just because we don't like them doesn't mean they're not going to be profitable. Yeah, they do sell. Do you think, you know, Mark Zuckerberg goes on Facebook? No, he hates it. Can't stand the stuff. He goes on scones.com. That's his homepage. So you're out of the, do you think you're out of the service industry forever?

Oh, I don't think that's possible. You're in comedy. Comedy's a service. Oh, exactly. We're serving the people their laughs. No, I mean, I think it's a skill I have. I think I would go back to it. It's good to make a quick buck, you know? Like getting tipped out. Not in coffee. Coffee wasn't good that way. But when you're bartending and serving and stuff,

you know, making tips is, you know, sweet. Do you do flair bartending? Oh, yeah. i'd like to try i'd like right yeah i feel like uh i i know one guy who uh i went to school with and he was a flair bartender and after school i think he didn't find a job very quickly just went back to flair bartending because he was making more than anybody yeah graduated that's well flair bartending is like cocktail and stuff where you the movie yeah yeah we're throwing around bottles is there anywhere here that does it yeah like the uh those clubs there's a couple of them

downtown that are like uh they're like a club above a dance club. Oh. You know, it's like, and I've been to one of those once. And the guy was, you know, he slides the bottle down his back or whatever. Just pours the shot into his pants. And then you drink it out of his shoe. Like, well, this is gross. You know who would be good at flair bartending is guys who play with devil sticks. Yeah. And dudes who hacky sack yeah oh those are

two slightly different groups which which was both which was both me in high school yeah so maybe i should maybe i should try you play with devil sticks i i had devil sticks that i would play i was an only child and i lived like in the boonies away from everyone so i was just alone where did you grow up i grew up in a small town called Naramata. Oh, Naramata near Penticton. Yeah, that's right.

So we used to, we used to go to Bible camp there. Oh yeah. No, we didn't. We actually, we, uh,

in Naramata, the local kids hated the center kids because they would come in every, uh, summer, go to this, like this, essentially a Bible camp and, they would have their own private beach.

And we were like the rough, like interior boy, like local kids. And we weren't allowed to like swim at this beach. And yet it was in our small town of 1400 people. It's like one of the only beaches. It's a real snobs versus slobs. Yeah. And so we just public swim. We were just so like, we held that in so much.

And finally we went to the beach and we ignored everyone telling us to leave. And we set up a jump on the end of the dock and brought my bike and we used the jump and like our bike and like cleared everyone off the dock. And it was like our, yeah, that was our PS. That was our Opus. Like that's how you should have quit at the coffee shop. Into a big bucket of coffee. Set up a bunch of scones to make the ramp.

Yeah, and then just cycle out the door. See you later, suckers. Let's talk more about flair bartending. Yeah, let's do that. What are the types of bars there are? Because I find it strange that there are so many like, it's just a place where you go and they serve you alcohol.

And yet there's the place that's the flair place. There's the place that's the coyote ugly style place where they dance on the bar and cut off your necktie. There's like the cool speakeasy like whiskey bar. Yeah. Deal. There's the sports bar. There's the dance club there's the uh like a snoot snooty wine bar and and most of these places serve the same drinks

yeah it's not like it's just the delivery it's more the package of how you get it yeah but the flair bartending place uh that's where assholes go like if you needed to like round up a bunch of assholes for like a photo shoot you could just go to a place that has flare bartender like is that the entire show like are you allowed to not look at that like is it rude to talk during the flare bartending is it no it's like you yeah it's not like we take five, everybody. So don't grab any drinks because the bartender's taking five. Yeah, or if you order a drink and you turn your back, does he not bother doing the flair bartending? Yeah, if it's a guy, he only does it for ladies, typically.

And if it's a lady, she only does it for guys. Like, ladies aren't doing it for... Well, they're doing it for themselves, aren't they? That's true. Like, ladies aren't doing it for... Well, they're doing it for themselves, aren't they? That's true. But it's also, I don't think, like, it's for bachelor parties and bachelorette parties. Like, people who are ordering, like, give me 10, you know, whatever, erotic named cocktails.

Yeah, yeah. The butt. The butt. Cleopatra's butt. That'd be a saucy butt yeah sandy so then they do the flair bartending then they make the the 10 drinks all at once and light them on fire oh yeah yeah like that's who the show's for idiots like the same people who like go down early for the free fireworks and stay there all day. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, make a day out of it. Stupid idiots.

One of the coolest drinks I ever saw was up at the ski hill. It's called Apex, and there's a place called the Gun Barrel. And what they would do, you would order this gun barrel shot, and they would bring out a huge double barreled shotgun to your table. Right. And they would like pour a shot down the double, like in the crack in the butt of the gun. Like, and they would light it on fire. So you had like a flaming shotgun pouring flaming liquid into like a shot glass.

I don't hate that. Yeah. I mean, I hate that the guy has a gun and that it's on fire it would have been great if it was loaded and then he shot the shot glass yeah that's what i assumed it was open your mouth away open your mouth um is there can you go to that if you're old can you get that if you're not planning to get rowdy? Like a virgin shot? Or what I mean is like, let's have one drink after work. We'll each have the flaming shotgun.

Oh, yeah, like a nightcap after seeing a movie. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We will have... Oh, you guys do a flaming shotgun. Okay, sure. One for... Would you like one, Granny? What's the... I'm trying to think of like the weirdest i know in uh dawson city yukon there's a drink that has a toe in it yeah it has

a human toe in it no and you i don't like that well no i mean you know nobody does it's gross uh but they put this toe in the in the shot then you drink the shot, and the toe has to touch your lips. Or you have a girlfriend. Yeah. So that's a thing. Interesting. Well, I've kissed the puffin's arse in St. John's, Newfoundland. Have you guys been screeched in before?

What? Do you guys know what screeches screeches like the new fee it's like a new fee what is it it's like a it's a gross like rum or something it's like the bottom of the barrel like high proof rum okay i think it's rum or whiskey i might be wrong uh but anyways you like you go to a bar you you ask to be screeched in you do the shot and then right after you either kiss the puffins arse okay or you kiss the cod so they either have like a stuffed puffin where you you're supposed to kiss its ass okay and this is after doing like a bunch of like sea shanty kind of like you get like kind

of screeched in it's all like a ceremony so like if you go to the bar and everybody's just sitting around drinking and you say i want to be screeched in, does like everybody have to... Everyone stands up and recites a chant. Really? No. Oh, because that seems like what it was. Like somebody would ring a bell like... We got another screecher. Some asshole wants to be screeched in.

But yeah, I think you can pretty much do it like in any... Like George Street there is a two block street that's all bars. And I think you can go into almost any bar there and get screeched in. And they all do they all have a different thing you have to put on your. I think I think I think it's I think it's generally the the the the cod or the puffins arse. OK. Yeah. Wow. Weird. Have you ever done anything like that?

No, I don't. I don't like i never i didn't start drinking uh uh like i never had a sip of alcohol until i was legal so like i i uh was never adventurous or anything like and i still hate the taste of most of it so i'm like oh you have to do an extra thing where something gross happens no i'm out um what was the uh um there's a place in victoria where like people throw like peanut shells on the floor that place had a bunch of wacky crap going on it's a big bad john's yeah big bad john's yeah and like women throw their bras up yeah like the whole roof's covered in bras and it isn't like there's like a guy in a train conductor's uniform and there's like a train that goes around the roof and he like blows a whistle and like all it's

like too many things it's like there's like riding the train is he like no he's but he's dressed like an old-time conductor but i don't think he serves anything i think he's maybe the guy that owns that guy is miserable yeah let's be honest that guy he's like one of those actors up at barkerville that you see walking around and they like try to do their shtick to you barkerville is the uh it's an old gold rush town that they've kept alive as like a tourist destination yeah and they have actors yeah but they also have really creepy like mannequins and stuff like just in these like scenarios and shops that are really old right so there's like a dentist and like this weird

grizzled like dentist like fake mannequin just pull like ripping a tooth out of this other like it's horrifying and then there's all these actors walking around being like hey let me tell you about this and you just like back off you're not real i'm an actor too yeah i'm trying to find some gold yeah but there was one guy there up in Barkerville who was like, looked like a legit old timey like prospector dude. And he's either like the best actor I've ever seen or he's just, he believes it. Or he's a time traveler. Hello. Why don't we throw in the most obvious conclusion?

Past guest on the show, Ben Mills used to be a Barkerville actor. Yeah, he wore like a bowler hat and a vest. Oh, really? I can't remember what job he had. Yeah, he still had modern glasses, though. Oh, yeah. And an earring. Do they have a murder there that happens every day?

Yeah. That the townsfolk have to solve i don't think the old west was known for its uh mysteries i think it was just hang them high oh yeah what about murdoch though murdoch mysteries isn't that around that's post i don't know what that is it's a canadian show for old people i know that it exists but i don't it's uh it's a show where if you're like if downtown downton abbey is i think it's downtown abbey downtown i like danton yeah yeah that's cool uh if it's uh if that's too breakneck for you if you're like oh too fast stay too fast on that show too much too much going on yeah then murdoch mystery slows it down for you nice nice and easy like a warm bath

it's like dora the explorer for old people it's like did you see where the knife came from a lot of call and response stuff yeah um so uh uh you've kissed a puffins but yeah and uh i i don't think i don't know if i've done any of those initiation things um i mean you know when i was just out of college i uh i don't know i was gonna go for a magic mic reference but it was too far to go up the street there's a restaurant called the lion's den oh yeah i was there before coming here. And the first time you go there, the guy tells you the story of, they have this stuffed lion that used to live at a local zoo or something. I forget. But he gives you a whole story about it.

And he's Jamaican. And, you know, you have to listen to his dumb story. You have to sign a book. You have to sign a calendar. Oh, okay. On each day, there's like a hundred signatures because he tells the story like a hundred sign a book you have to sign a calendar oh okay on each day there's like a hundred signatures because he tells the story like a hundred times and then at the end it's one love etc i don't get it my favorite part is as you leave he always says have a creative day oh yeah thanks that's kind of cool you just drop your pants

crazy things are going to happen. Make something out of this. So is that that guy's whole job is just to sit there and tell you the story? No, he owns a restaurant. But like, so before you order, you have to hear the story? No, I think for us, it was after we ordered. And we knew never to go back and sit there. We always got stuff to go.

And we knew never to go back and sit there. We always got stuff to go. Will he tell you the story, like, more than once if he doesn't recognize you from the last time? He'll ask you. He'll ask you if you've been here before. And if you say no, you're screwed. He's going to, like, he's going to dive in. But if you say you've been here before, then he'll, like.

That always feels like a very tricky, question when somebody says have you been here before you're like this is a good thing that i have or haven't like is there a special thing again if this is my first time are they gonna you know uh pull my pants down and tell me to have a creative day your creative day starts now um yeah no i've never i'm trying to think if i've ever been to like a restaurant where there's like a story or thing that big bag john's is all that comes to mind where it's like make sure to throw your crap on the floor well i went to this place called tgi fridays had the craziest stuff on the wall uh one of the one of the cooler restaurants i've been to is there's a hot dog place in new york where you walk in and it's like really nice hot dogs,

but then you go into like a phone booth. Okay. And you, you pick up the phone, right? And then you talk to someone, you give them a password and then the, the, the, the wall of the phone booth opens up and you walk through the phone booth into like a swanky hot dog place. And then you get to have like nice cocktails, flair bartending with like cool hot dogs man yeah that's awesome that's like sounds like uh like a kid won a contest where you could design your yeah yeah then you go down a water slide oh man we serve their hot dog macaroni and cheese one kind the kind i like oh man uh wow oh that sounds fun like i like a thing where there's a it was really fun it was

really exciting just to be able to walk through a phone booth yeah it was cool and everyone else looking around who didn't know they're like what the fuck how did you know though uh as as i had a friend who lived there and he's like you're gonna love this place you're gonna love it we'll we'll find the password and then like so but like does the swanky hot dog place only do half as much business as the regular hot dog place because people don't know it's there oh definitely yeah yeah but it's the same restaurant though it's the same restaurant but the drinks are like 15 bucks a drink so they So they're kind of like making up for it by, you know, it's kind of an elitist hot dog. How do you get the password? Do you have to?

I think my friend just looked online like hot dog New York. The password is hot dog. The password is hot dog. Oh, man. Yeah, I got to go on a hunt for these kind of like well and my kooky restaurants my roommate told me there's a restaurant as well where you you walk in it's like a ninja themed restaurant and you walk in and as a ninja like approaches you and says do you do you want to be seated right away or do you want to take the like adventure route or something like that and then obviously you say and what's the adventure like you go off somewhere well then you take like this weird tunnel and like you go on like almost like a ride where like ninjas are

popping up from the ceiling and like that's amazing yeah and then you finally get seated and it's all like bamboo like you know kind of you know it's it's got a ninja vibe going on what if there was a restaurant where you got like you got on and it was like you're on like a car like going into uh like a ride you know like a haunted house at the yeah at the whatever uh and and you're and it's like all serene right but you're on this track like you're moving the whole time but then it becomes a haunted house halfway through the meal and it gets really scary and then it goes back to the nice serene part for dessert oh and they yeah they serve you food as you're so you're eating as you're getting scared yeah yeah so you're just sighing at that steak like crazy yeah or like dropping stuff on

your lap or throwing it in the air And then at the end They give you an option to buy a photo Of you getting scared with your dick Of like water getting sprayed in your face While you're trying to eat Have you been There's a sushi restaurant in Vancouver

Called the Clubhouse Oh yeah It's just sushi restaurant in Vancouver called the Clubhouse. Oh yeah. Oh, the golf. That is, yeah, it's, it's just sushi, but the theme is golf. And that's it. There's no, the two never touch. There's just golf stuff on the wall. Yeah.

And sushi stuff on your plate. You can rent the upper room in that area. And like, they have a sweet, like surround, like a circular couch with a big pull down screen. And you can throw parties there. You can watch golf only. There was a place in Victoria that you play at the bar in the basement. Heckler's is the name of the bar. And then you stay in the hotel. And then there was a restaurant upstairs in the hotel.

hotel and then there was a restaurant upstairs in the hotel and for a while it was entirely decorated with uh stuff for uh bruce springsteen stuff and i think boston red socks uh paraphernalia so i think it's just some guy's like two collections that he's like i gotta put him out on his foot somewhere he just likes bees yeah boss bruce b. My wife wants to step out of the house. Lordy. Dave, what's going on with you? Well, I've been watching some TV. Yeah. And I discovered two new shows this week.

And I want to tell you about them. How I Met Your Mother. Yep. It's the hottest new thing. There's these Big bang theory style kids um one of them is uh the show called um wedding band oh i think and it's been on it's it's like wrapping up its first season and it's got brian austin green oh it's not a reality show no no no okay. It's like a comedy show about a wedding band. Although I think the episodes are an hour long.

A wedding band? Like a group of musicians? No, no. Just a ring. One ring to rule the world. Yeah. No, yeah. A group of musicians and they play different events.

Brian Austin Green married to Megan Fox. Yeah, I think so. Good for him. And he's relevant again. And so it's this comedy about a band, but it has the most blatant endorsements in the show. Oh, really? Because the one episode I saw was all about

they were going to play a sweet 16 party for this girl who's getting a toyota camry and her parents every girl's dream yeah her parents care more about their little dog than they do about her yet they're still buying her this brand new toyota camry they mentioned toyota and camry uh that's that's like in you guys saw the road right do you know oh is it yeah well it was like a beautiful like awesome book like very very powerful and then in the film he just slowly like undoes a vitamin water and just like oh really slowly chugs it or it's like a gatorade or something it's like was it vitamin water was it yeah i guess it wasn't the greatest product shop um on 30 rock they used to do that with snapple all the time but

they would sort of work it into like jokes about product uh placement yeah they had a ongoing gag on uh arrested development about meeting at burger king oh yeah yeah they would all they'd have all their business meetings but this was just like it was so uh uh ham handed ham fisted uh clammy handed uh like the 16 year old girl was like oh hate my I mean, they got great taste in cars though. Yeah. What do you mean? Well, they bought me this Toyota camera.

Check it out. It's got all the features. Backup camera. ABS. Yeah. Power sunroof. Heated front seats. Power lumbar.

We got it all. We got it all. AC. Bluetooth. It's two pages of script. It's like, all wheel drive it's got ceramic disc brakes chrome tip mud when they were planning the uh when they were planning the sweet 16 party there was like the person planning the party was giving a powerpoint presentation and was literally going through what the toyota camry had um so i mean why is uh i mean there's a bunch of whys in there why brian austin green yeah why a

show about a wedding band yeah and that's not even a wedding that's a girl's 16th birthday yeah but they're a wedding band but they they do other events like at the start of the episode they did an october fest you know it's band stuff oh sure yeah you know you know it'd be funny is uh instead They're a wedding band, but they do other events. Like at the start of the episode, they did an Oktoberfest. You know, it's band stuff. Oh, sure. Yeah. You know what would be funny is instead of like a typical wedding band to have like different types of music at a wedding, wouldn't it be funny to have like a drone musician at a wedding?

Just like holding one note. Okay. I thought you meant like some kind of robot. It's a drone. Like he's being controlled from a remote location. Yeah. Drone strike on my wedding band. Yeah, like some kind of shoegaze music.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Some kind of, or a didgeridoo player playing that one didgeridoo note. Yeah, with his devil sticks. Has either of you ever been to a wedding that had a band? No, I don't think I have. I don't think I've been to a wedding. Are you serious? Oh, no, I've been to one.

Yeah? Yeah, it was my cousin's. It was a long time ago, though. I was really young. So, guys, I'm really missing out. Oh, it's the best. Yeah, I bet. Just a party, party right it's a lot of fun i mean it's it's the most fun is like if you know both of the people that are getting married yeah and then if you only know one other person it's like half as

fun and then if you don't know either the people and you're just there as a date it's like you guys i i have to admit i just realized i have been to a wedding i was bartending it and i got so drunk that i woke up on the grass on the front line oh that's pretty good so that's probably why i didn't come to mind right away what did that feel like to wake up on the grass well it was my best friend's house and it was my best friend's sister getting married and i'd kind of grown up around this house and around this family so they knew me yeah so you weren't expected to be you weren't like from a bartending agency but we got a job for you you're the man yeah but do not get drunk this time yeah yeah you're the best bartender we have but your major flaws that you fall asleep at all the weddings um i think the best uh uh uh the best part of a wet or the best situation for a wedding is if

you know both the people and you're they're not expecting anything of of you like you're not you know both the people but you're not related to them yes what could they expect of you though oh like uh you know if you're related to someone you might have you might have a responsibility at the wedding there's a lot of there's a lot of jobs to do in a wedding right the uh what i'm trying to think of um oh yeah you might have to do a freestyle rap yeah there was a wedding i went to where the d was like the super old guy. It was great. I don't know how he was a DJ, and I don't know how he got the gig, but he played the wrong first dance song. Right artist.

Wrong song. So instead of Everything I Do, I Do It For You, it was Summer of 69? Yeah, it was Waking Up the Neighbors. Have you ever been at a wedding with a band? I've been at a wedding where there were musicians in the reception, but it wasn't like a cover band playing. That was just for the cocktail time. Yeah, that seems too loud.

You can't quiet down those drums enough for a wedding. And also, how many songs does a band know? Do you know what I mean? loud though you can't you can't quiet down those drums enough for a wedding and also like how many songs does a band know do you know what i mean like well probably quite a few yeah and they probably know all the good ones to play at a wedding would they know ghostbusters yeah oh okay yeah they would know ghost i'm imagining you're gonna get a lot of guys who like are into riffing a little bit you know and can like adapt sure to a certain song but like do they get a uh playlist before like you need to learn these 15 songs yeah i think so because what if but like if you like a rap song they are they gonna rap are they gonna do are they gonna do a

it's worth asking yeah absolutely they not going to do it well. Because you're expecting these people to rap. You're expecting them to also be able to play All Star by Smash Mouth. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, what's that one that was like Amazed by Lone Star?

Or Star? I don't know. It was like this crossover country hit that I'm pretty sure it was played at every wedding from 2005 to present oh uh nora jones she was big yeah no joe uh but you know like uh yeah the band would have to be able to play a lot of different styles right if you wanted one harry bell harry belafonte song you have to have some sort of i think a lot of motown i think uh uh that's the kind of stuff that plays gets played a lot of weddings but then also like twist and shout seems like uh like would be a go-to wedding song

stuff that's uh uh that spans generations because there's gonna be old people there yeah yeah exactly kanye west's gold digger that's got something for everyone yeah it's got uh jamie fox playing ray yeah it's like you give them the list you're like ymca ghostbusters the theme from gremlins theme from goodies or just yeah uh gold diggers about uh uh a woman being after your money so just like the worst wedding songs like songs about divorce etc yeah that's pretty good holla we want prenup we want pren Yeah. Now just the seniors. And the other new television show that I watched is a show called The Carrie Diaries. Oh. Oh, that's young sex in the city, right?

That's the new girls. It's young. It's very edgy. It's young sex in the city. Is she having sex? Like, is it a tween? Not yet. Well, actually. Carrie actually It starts like the summer

She's maybe in 11th or 12th grade Grade 11 or 12 Yeah At the end of the summer She goes back to school And all of her friends Have lost their virginities

And what Is she Wait now Can I ask a question Is she friends with the same girl no i was hoping she would be oh man that's disappointing um and she uh it's the 80s oh so it doesn't no it's not like they didn't reboot it today. No, but like in the final episode, she meets somebody with a time machine. And she, yeah, so she's, you know, doing Sex and the City stuff, but for kids.

Well, the thing is, Sex and the City, it just occurred to me as I was watching this hour-long teen drama, that Sex and the City was a half hour long and was supposedly a comedy. Yeah, that's right. But there's no reason this is any less funny than Sex and the City. The one thing that is strange is that her dad calls her kiddo all the time. And I was like, oh, is that what Mr. Big

on Sex and the City would call? No, I think Mr. Big called her kid. Yeah, but I know for sure in one episode he calls her kiddo. I think you're thinking of Kill Bill. Or am I thinking of patrick swayze and ghost where he says ditto um but uh uh so i i tweeted something that uh it was a joke

i tweeted uh i just watched the first episode of the carrie diaries i think it's strange that chris noth plays her dad chris noth is the guy she eventually marries in Sex and the City. Mr. Big. Right. I think it's strange that he plays her dad. And then the real Chris Noth saw my tweet. Yes. And tweeted me back.

He said, it's weird because it isn't true. So he thinks I'm a dumb guy. And I tweeted him back and I said, would it kill you to yes and me good and that was the end of our uh that was at the end of your improv jam yeah my improv jam with mr big law and order guy yeah uh wow i uh I thought that that, uh, Carrie Diaries show had been, uh. Pre-canceled? Yeah. Yeah. I thought they realized what a dumb idea it was. No, it's a great idea.

Oh, yeah. Well, I, uh, Abby was watching it and she was like, I called her, she had the day off and I called her and I said, what are you doing? And she said, Oh, I'm watching the Carrie diaries. And I was like, don't delete it. She didn't know. She assumed that she had set the recording, but I had set the recording. Right. So you're gonna, you're gonna, I'm going to keep you up to date with what's going on with. So does she keep like a, like a journal in that as well? Is she using like an Apple two computer or something like that yeah no she's not quite doing that she is narrating it which i remember was something they did on the the grown-up show yeah uh uh but i i think she's sort of like on her what she she doesn't know she wants to be a writer yet right uh it's sort of unclear anyway one character is clearly gay who's the who's the

but doesn't know it is it candace bushnell yeah wrote she's like she's like the george lucas of that genre she originally conceived of it as a nine uh oh yeah like it's like it's supposed to have a prequel and a prequel to the prequel where it's Carrie's mom. Oh, yeah. We learn all about that stuff we don't care about. Yeah, and then the sequel is Carrie's, of course, her kid grows up to sleep around. Do they have, like, books of sex in the city like they do of Star Wars where maybe characters get killed off like Chewbacca did in the book? Yeah, yeah.

And whatever Greedo shot first. Yeah, in the book version. Yeah, he spilled first. What? Spilled? Yeah. When he has sex with Carrie in the future. It's this fanfic that I'm working on.

It's where the bar that Carrie hangs out at is the canteen she gets cantini martini there's a lot of flair bartending yeah they love flair bartending and she and her friends have sex with a variety of aliens oh she's definitely having sex with the butthead musician. Yeah, exactly. And then she's writing about it.

Yeah, I didn't know what to do with his butthead. I didn't know whether to like kiss it. She got her an ad for a column on the side of an Imperial Walker. But someone drew a droid penis on it.

Oh, that's a good little mishmash yeah good fanfic uh yeah so that's what's been going on with me uh yourself um i had this weird running with a couple of gents i I was at the comedy mix working with Brian Posain. And in between shows, I went to go use the bathroom, and there's an ATM in this kind of lobby area.

There were two dudes standing next to it that when I first saw them, I was like, I'm pretty sure these guys are not coming to the show or weren't just at the show that just finished. But then they stopped me. They were like, hey. And I thought they were going to say, like, good show.

And I was just going to go on my way. And they said, hey, can we ask you a question? I was like, yeah, sure. And then the other guy says how much money do you think is in this atm right now i was like settle a bet yeah i was like uh i i have no idea like and he's like no come on just estimate how much do you think that's in there and like i really okay i'm thinking of a number? I've got a number. Okay.

Yeah. My number, I know at the second that I said it, I was like, nah, that's wrong. Because I said $800. Seems low. Yeah. You can have like nine transactions and then it's over. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, because I always just like, I was thinking of what I do at an ATM. We just take out $120. I think my number is 20 grand. Oh, wow. I think they're going for like 20 grand. My number was two grand. Two grand. Two grand.

And I think it's probably, now I feel like my number's low. I don't feel like 20's high. I said that convincingly, but really I have no idea. No, neither do I. And still still to this point like it wasn't like a thing it wasn't a reciprocal like no you're wrong yeah this is how much it is well because it's not like uh one of those guess how many m&ms are in this jar yeah and win all the m&ms guess how much money's in this atm yeah atm just pops open

open that should be the question when you put your card in. You get to guess. Yeah, you first get one guess. Yeah, if you get it right, then you just get all of it. I would join that bank. Oh, yeah. That's a day. Oh, yeah.

And this was one of those not bank-affiliated dealings. Yeah. The type, I believe, that got stolen on one season of uh a breaking bad i was gonna bring that up yeah how much did they how much did jesse get out of that uh i see but it wasn't that's the thing in that show it wasn't that much but i don't know if it would be different like one that you would put in a bar versus when you put in a gas station would have different amounts no yeah. Yeah. But anyway, so I said a hundred dollars and then I exited the conversation.

And then as I turned the corner, I heard the one guy say to the other, nah, I think he's wrong. But it was really weird because they were both leaning on it. And I was like, and I was looking around like, do they have a dolly somewhere?

Yeah, yeah. Because these guys look like they're going to steal this thing. But anyways, best of luck to those guys. Yeah. It seems like a pretty tough way to make a couple bucks. Stealing an ATM from a basement of a hotel? Yeah, yeah. And then having to, I mean, the stealing would be the easy part.

The breaking it open seems like that would be the easy part the breaking it open seems like that would be very difficult no i think so yeah yeah they're reinforced haven't aren't there stories of guys who have like attached chains around atms at gas stations like to their trucks and then like torn off and dragged probably yeah it's all the way home and then just not been able to or am i just is that breaking bad no that's uh there's footage of a guy you see on youtube like surveillance footage of a guy going in with a dolly and just picking it up and just charging through the door because they're not bolted down yeah they're just really heavy yeah yeah because they're full of coins yeah and gold bars have you ever been really stared down by a couple guys

like refilling an ATM? Like the guys that pull up in the brinks? Have you ever been stared down by a guy who's like, I got my eyes on you, potential thief? They're the only, in Canada, the only security guards who are allowed to carry guns are ones who drive armored cars. Really?

Yeah. Wow. allowed to carry guns are ones who drive armored cars really yeah wow so like because i go to a any rank or branch of my bank has a security guard but it's just a guy who's like literally opens the door for you yeah like he's bored so he just started opening the door like that's the worst security like your job is to keep people up. Yeah, that's true. Those guys, what is their job? To call the cops? And they can't have guns. They don't even get a flashlight

or anything. They get a brightly colored windbreaker. So you'll be the one who's shot first. I'm looking dark in the mirror. This guy can see me in the dark. Oh, man. Anyway, so more than $800, less than $20,000.

Yeah, I think write in if you know how much money is in an ATM machine. Or if you know how to break into one. Yeah. Yeah, write in both. Get a key. Know a guy who makes keys yeah yeah exactly or just uh you know what earn it earn the money and take it out that way yeah you're worth it yeah take out the maximum um should we move on to overheards sure overheard overheards overheards

these are the fantastic things tell me what they are Well, if you're out in a boot. I love them. Mm-hmm. And what else about them? If you're tuned in to your surroundings, what's going on, you can probably pick up chatter. Yeah. Right? It's a lot about picking up chatter, which is sort of how we caught Bin Laden.

There's a lot of chatter going on, and we caught him, and then we gave him back. It was a catch-and-release program, and then the Americans killed him. But we were humane. That wasn't part of the deal, dudes. He's a catch-and-release

guy. Et cetera. And I'm just going to keep talking. Oh! Shush it down a notch because uh boy oh boy is there a big chunk of hulk hogan news this week oh boy oh birdo it's uh hulk hogan news it's a hulk hogan oh you know what well there's actually a hulk hogan news theme song that someone has sent in hit it shut up it's a hulk hogan news it's a h Hulk Hogan news theme song that someone has sent in. Hit it. Shut up. It's a Hulk Hogan news. It's a Hulk Hogan news. It's a Hulk Hogan news.

It's a Hulk Hogan news. It's Hulk Hogan news. It's a Hulk Hogan news. It's Hulk Hogan news. It's a Hulk Hogan news. It's Hulk Hogan news. It's a Hulk Hogan news. Oh, wow.

Oh, man, that was amazing. Yeah. I did not know where it was going, but it went to all the right places. That's from listener Ben M. amazing yeah i did not know where it was going but it went to the all the right places uh that's uh from listener ben m if you would like to uh send in your version of the hulk hogan news theme song uh feel free to use this sample it's a hulk hogan news it's a hulk hogan news he's got very strong arms and he wears a bandana and he sometimes has nipples he's got very strong arms. And he wears a bandana. And he sometimes has nipples. He's got a big mustache. He always has nipples.

So, currently, Hulk Hogan, back in a courtroom setting. Oh, no. This time, suing the people who did his back surgery for $50 million. Oh, wow. That seems like an expensive back surgery for 50 million dollars oh wow that seems like an expensive back surgery yeah he may as well be suing them for 50 gajillion dollars what did he get did he get like armor plating on his back or did he get like something like stegosaurus plates turning into a monster um no he just got it he just got a single shark fin.

He watched the sex video of himself and realized his back was lacking. Yeah, yeah. So he got some gun turrets. He's become a mech warrior. He had these surgeries done, and he claims that they were botched. They were done in 2009. By Dr. Conrad Murray. Is that?

Michael Jackson's doctor. By Dr. Oh, who's the one who killed Kanye West's mom? Dr. Jan Brewer? Dr. Jan something. So he said, I mean 50 million dollars he says because he was uh unable because of he got laser spine surgery okay so he was a mech warrior he wanted to have laser shooting from his spine which is very inconvenient because it gets you in the back of the head or the butt crack yeah it just shoots right down at your butt. Ruins your pants.

Well, you could set up a mirror right under your butt that deflects it out. Yeah, of course. That's another surgery. If you're wearing mirror pants. So this is how the story goes, according to him. He visited a spinal surgeon to seek help for low back pain. The doctor recommended an open multilevel lumbar lamectomy. A laminectomy?

And fusion. That's when they take out the lamination. If you had your lumbar laminated, they'd remove it. In the early 80s when that was the thing to do. I don't know. More like a lament-y. Am I right? Yep.

Lamenting the fact. No, we get it. Okay, cool. lament key. Am I right? Yeah. Lamenting the fact that you got, all right, cool. Uh, while two other doctors advised Hogan to get open lumbar spinal fusion surgery. So Hogan booked the latter option, but changed his mind when a neighbor suggested the laser spine Institute.

Oh, what? What? My neighbors told me about this thing. Sue your neighbor. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly. Anyways, he says that he missed out on a chance to wrestle superstar wrestling legend John Cena in WrestleMania 25.

Which would have earned him $50 million. I guess. I guess that event nets several hundreds of million dollars. Yeah. So they could throw money in whatever of million dollars. Yeah. So they can throw money in whatever toilet they choose. Yeah. So anyways, he's suing them.

I'm sure it'll go well. As well as his lawsuit against your gawkers. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bubba Love Sponges. Well, that's some great Hulk Hogan news. I actually saw a piece of Hulk Hogan news this week What? Did you see the thing about his daughter getting married? No, Brooks off the market?

No, well they got married of course Live on TNA Wrestling Impact whatever I don't know what it's called It's on Spike And she was wearing a strapless dress This plays into the story uh of course as they're getting married uh before they can say i do some people come out some bad

guys of wrestling aces and eights i think they're called to yeah yeah they're a motorcycle wrestling gang they wrestle motorcycles they're up against the crotch rockets We totally should have hired Security for this one So they're getting married And then some biker guys Come out Some biker mice from Mars come out And they just start stomping everyone

And they stomp the husband Oh no This is very Kill Bill I forget his name. Jeez, some block-headed doofus. Oh, Nick Hogan. He looked a lot like Nick Hogan. And then Hulk Hogan is there in a tuxedo with sleeves on.

Unfortunately, we've so often imagined him in a sleeveless tuxedo. But he was wearing a very tasteful black do-rag. Oh, yeah, got a match. I would picture him in a sleeveless tuxedo, but also wearing just like white shorts. And wrestling boots. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, but like but like white white and then a morning dress um and uh uh so he gets knocked to the ground as well and uh she uh uh i don't think she was and she was probably pushed out of the way she wasn't hit or anything thrown into a cake yeah and she uh uh oh his the guy she was marrying pushed out of the way. She wasn't hit or anything. Thrown into a cake. Yeah. And she, oh, the guy she was marrying was named Bully. And so she goes to check on her dad, Hulk Hogan.

Yeah. And he says, oh, I'm fine. Check on Bully. And she says, as if to say not right now, she says my boob fell out. I was pretty sure that was going to be this week's Hulk Hogan news. That's great. That is really great.

He should have known when she booked to have her wedding in the ring that things were going to go haywire. Yeah, to a wrestler. Oh man. I know I've talked about this on the podcast where there was some wrestlers they got married and then they had like their honeymoon was in the ring were they gonna consummate the wedding in the ring yeah you think you did yeah and they get into bed, and then a bunch of bullies come out and start beating him up.

Not to be confused with bully. No, no, no. Yeah, no, that's different guys. Same, similar occasion. Yeah, it was Bull from Night Court. He would have been a good wrestler. Very tall. Okay.

So, this has been Hulk Hogan News. It's time for overheards. Now, these are things that you hear when you're out and about. You're listening to people. You're eavesdropping. Yeah. And people these days, they talk louder than ever. Right?

Into phones, to themselves, to their dumb friends. And you can overhear things. We like to start with the guest. Sure. Yeah. I've got one. I've got one. I've got one. I often go to Bonds off-Broadway, which is like a really cheap breakfast place.

And usually this place kind of attracts more like, there's a lot of like artists there and like homeless people. And it's just like a real good mix of people. A real smell factor. Yeah. And I was there. You're the artist. I was there like on my own eating my breakfast and as you do when you're alone you kind of like start to eavesdrop and uh this is just like a snippet i heard uh from the table next to me uh all i heard was no no to get it right you

got to go straight to the curb stop whoa yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cheat code. That's, yeah, that's what somebody who's advising how to watch American History Acts. Straight to the curb stop. Yeah, but it really like, it kind of like made me feel a little uneasy. Yeah. It's like, oh, these guys are talking about like damaging someone

pretty, pretty like intensely. Gotta go straight to the curb stop. It's, yeah. It's like a James bond villain needs that kind of advice like just just kill him yeah just kill him yeah it's true right it's like uh but also like you know you shouldn't be using city property for that yeah come on right don't make the city an accomplice in your crazy skull crushing activities yeah you know i don't want you using any curbs i don't want you using any uh traffic cones yeah no traffic no lampposts no uh any kind of government building any kind of uh rails rods yeah flagpoles it's basically the same rules for skateboarders

yeah yeah you can put up anti-curbstomp little nubs. Curb stomping is not a crime. Yeah, like you put in like this like pool noodles. You like cut a corner out of a pool noodle. Yeah. Everything's soft. Guy's trying to curb stomp. Bite it. Oh, well, sure. Taste good.

Yeah. Sure. Sure. A vec pleasure. So tender. So soft. Oh, man, that's good. Yeah.

Dave, you have an over? Mine is sort of an overheard. It was my niece. Last weekend, I went to Seattle, Washington, and I appeared on an episode of Doug Loves Movies. Spoiler alert. I win. Yeah. Available for download.

But the following morning, my brother lives in Seattle, so I stayed with him. And we all went out for breakfast, my sister-in-law and their two daughters, and they're, I think, three and five. And we went to this place called Luna Park, which is a, or the Luna Park Cafe, which I think Luna Park used to be kind of a uh a boardwalk area in seattle and so there's a lot of kind of uh midway uh paraphernalia inside this cafe oh like guess your weight and stuff like that or or the scale it's like old nickel machines yeah well not not a lot of machines but a lot of just like stuff, crap on the walls. Okay. But there is one ride, you know, those rides where you put a quarter in and it just rumbles for a while. Yeah, yeah.

But it's like a super old vintage one. And I think it was made of wood. Uh-oh. And it was the Batmobile with Batman driving it. Oh, that's pretty cool. And it's like a 50s Batman. And my two nieces

got in the back of it and they we put a coin in and as soon as it started rumbling, one of my nieces just started kicking Batman as hard as she could. Like, hey, stop the rumbling. No, no. Get it going. she just started kicking him and then what she she said like someone asked her why are you doing that she said he likes to be hurt it's not it's not yeah i thought it was insightful i was like i don't

even think she knows much about batman but yeah that's true batman kind of likes to be hurt he does he's got he's got a very uh like what is you know like uh masochistic yeah but they never kind of touch on that in the movie at all like that that's kind of his thing like the only time he ever has sex in the movie any of the movies it's like super soft time like it's not like he's not like break a bottle in my face you know what i mean like it's like like he's a very like kind of normal lover but you would think he'd be into like all sorts of crazy like you know i don't know rubber masks and stuff thanks for taking it there but uh yeah well to be perfectly uh honest she didn't say uh i i simplified that um because i don't think the message would come across if i said what she actually said which was he likes to be

herded oh yeah that's way more adorable yeah they're very cute very cute kids kids are the they're the future uh debatable yeah i think cole is the future kids are a future. Debatable. Yeah. I think coal is the future. Kids are a future. Yeah, a possible future. Yeah. My over scene comes courtesy of First Things First. There's a Harvey's has opened up in downtown Vancouver. Oh, Harvey's makes your hamburger a beautiful thing.

That is correct. Whereabouts? Granville Street. And it's brand new granville near uh just down from kind of nelson oh yeah ish like right on the right on the strip okay and it was just like a brand brand new uh and there was nobody in there like nobody knew like i saw it and made a beeline for it because they've got the best veggie burgers. I love them. And for anyone unfamiliar, Harvey's has kind of a Subway sort of deal where you get to pick your toppings as you go.

Yeah, yeah. And I went in and there was, like, the whole staff was just standing around. So they were super glad to, like, hey, everybody, stations, everybody, stations. This is what we trained for and uh it was great uh while i was waiting for the hamburger to be prepared uh you said their slogan which is harvey's makes your hamburger a beautiful thing uh the girl at the cash was obviously bored nobody's in there had doodled a picture of a hamburger with eyes and had a thought bubble that was saying, am I a beautiful thing?

It was pretty good. Yeah, I thought it was really great. For some reason, last night, I was looking... I haven't been to a Harvey's in years because they closed the one inside the Home Depot. Yeah, they were in Home Depots and airports. That's it. Yeah, in this part of the country.

But I was looking up to see if they had a Twitter account yesterday and they do. Oh. And all of their tweets are just replies to people that are saying oh, send us a direct message and we'll send you a coupon for free burgers or like gift cards for free

burgers. So they're just giving away, I think it's people complaining, but also people not complaining. Just anyone like, gift cards for free burgers. Like, so, they're just giving away... I think it's people complaining, but also people not complaining. Just anyone who talks to them gets free burgers. I thought their whole Twitter account was going to be, like, responses to anybody saying the words beautiful or thing. Have you seen one of our hamburgers? You like beautiful things? Oh, I noticed you said thing there our hamburgers? Yeah. You like beautiful things? Oh, I noticed you said thing there.

Into beautiful things? You like the movie The Thing? You eating one of our hamburgers? They're the Chris Noth's of burger joints. They just scan Google for their name. I love that you had an interaction with Chris Noth. That's big. Yeah. Big man. It's Mr. Big. Yeah. Touche. name um i love that you had an interaction with chris noth that's big yeah big man it's mr big yeah touche uh we also have overheards that have been sent into us uh by guests from all over the

world not guests listeners what did i why is it yes oh nuts i mean make yourself at home yeah um it's because I was reading this Dear Graham, Dave and beautiful guest Oh wow They nailed it today You're a beautiful guest You like a beautiful hamburger Anyways

People from around the world can send us overheards To stoppodcastyourself at gmail.com This first one comes from Ben D Oh like the straw uh dear graham dave and beautiful guest allow me to set the stage for this overheard my family mom dad kids grandma aunts etc are enjoying a meal together at my grandmother's residence. The topic of Robert Redford comes up. My grandma promptly says,

he's dead. Almost in unison, everyone rebuffs her with cries of no, he's still alive, and other such comments. Her response is, okay, he might not be dead, but I know he's gay. Which means he's dead to me He's alive and Kicking

Yeah, and also He's also a straight guy, right? He's not Is he gay now? No, no, he's Gay now He's straight, I think I mean, I don't think of his

I don't know any of his Lovers Or if he's a married man I think he's private about that But also I don't think of him i don't know any of his lovers or if he's a married man i think he's private about that but also i don't think people care about 75 year old men anymore i just do you mean in general they don't care about yeah like he could be doing whatever he wants he could be uh uh you know having batman sex with people no one would shrug. So just really nice sex? Yeah, exactly. Really soft. He's on a bearskin rug or something. He's listening to Careless Whisper. He does it on a batwing rug.

It's all leathery. A batskin rug? Dry. It's totally tiny, too. It's not a big rug made of multiple bat wings? No, it's just one. Oh, man. Just a dried up bat on the floor.

Come on, baby, lay your bare back against this. Gross. That was pretty gross. Also, he's Bruce Wayne at the time. He's totally giving it away. He's like, oh, by the way, I'm totally into bats. And sometimes into men. But not at the same time.

Not Batman. This one crawled behind the heater I just found. I just escaped from the bat cave. I mean, the cave of bats. I mean, my bat cellar. I mean, shut up, get out. I mean, my aquarium. I mean my bat cellar. I mean, shut up, get out.

I mean my aquarium. I gotta kill you. I gotta kill you now. Sorry. Yeah. Oh, shit. Okay.

This next one comes from Eric D. in Guelph, Ontario. He just moved there a few months ago and frequently he walks by an old factory that has been turned into loft apartments uh one day super cool yeah right like i think uh you you get women to do anything if you had a cool cool department that used to be a uh what was it factory factory yeah like they used to make knitting needles here check it out before they outsource uh one day i noticed recent graffiti

spray painted on the wall of the building that read watch your back remax which is uh is that just a canadian remax i think I think, is a global thing. Global real estate company? Yeah. And about two months later, I was walking by it again, and new graffiti had been added to the other side of the building reading, we still hate you, Remaxed. Oh, wow. Yeah, I think Remaxed probably, I think those are former factory workers.

That's probably the... Oh, sure. Yeah, that's probably the best way to threaten Remax, just some graffiti on the building they're selling. Well, you know they're going to see it. It's one thing they're always looking at. What are the other big companies? Does Century 21 still exist?

Yeah, and there's... Was Century 21 the one that made you wear the yellow blazer if you worked for them. Not if you were buying a house. Oh, I thought you meant if you were buying a yellow blazer. All right. You're the champ. Yeah. It's a theme.

Let's get you a house. Okay. You're the champ. Yeah. Isn't there one that has a gray sign? Oh, yeah. Grazies. Sussex.

Is that right? No, it's something like that though yeah it's like sutton sutton or there are ones that i i these are things that like i have no idea if they're local or if they're international yeah like i you could tell me that chevron only exists in vancouver as a gas station um sotheby's is like for classy. Oh, right. Classy houses that want a lot of bids. Or eBay. Yeah, eBay.

Can you buy a house on eBay? Yeah, I think so. Or maybe not. I don't know. Yeah. No, you definitely can. What? Or you can't. Yeah, but you have to get shipped to you in those tubes.

One piece of the house at a time This last one comes from Simon G In Brooklyn I was getting off the subway and I heard a little kid Talking to his mother Kid, I want to be homeless Mom, I don't think you do

Do you even know what that means? Kid, yeah When you live on top of a volcano And it's about to explode I don't think you do. Do you even know what that means? Kid. Yeah. When you live on top of a volcano and it's about to explode. So that's what some homeless guy told that kid. Yeah. So you're homeless? Yeah.

Live on a volcano. Yeah, exactly. You know when a volcano's about to explode? That's where I live. You know when a volcano's about to explode? That's where I live You know when a volcano's about to spill? Or maybe the kid had heard some news story About people who became homeless Because of a volcano

And he just filled in the middle part Oh yeah, they lived on top of a volcano It's super awesome It's piping hot Yeah, super hot You never have to worry You'll get yelled at by dad For leaving the door open And letting the heat out because there's always more heat.

Yeah. When you're playing that game where you're like, that part's lava, that part's lava, it literally will be lava. In addition to overheards that are written in, we also accept your phone calls. If you've got a phone, do the right thing. Call us. Call Spike Lee. 206-339-8328. It's called a phone number. Learn it. Hey, Dave and Graham and posthumous guest.

This is Nate calling from Brooklyn with an overheard from a couple of years ago that happened to be in San Diego, California. That happened because I saw a guy basically run a stop sign in his pickup truck because he was using his two hands to play a flute. I'm late for orchestra practice. I gotta learn this flute part on my way. He's also doing his hair too. When inspiration hits,

you gotta rip a tune on that flute. Rip a tune. Wow. I also like that he's from Brooklyn, but he saw this in San Diego. Brooklyn is where you would see this. Well, yeah. And also,

when you have the car accident that inevitably results from this kind of behavior and like you have like giant flute marks on your face how do you explain that like oh sir what are you doing all the time the accident yeah because the airbag goes off and crushes a flute into your face so you've got like the holes on your cheek like imprints of the hole looks like a flute um your face. So you've got the holes on your cheek, like imprints of the holes. Yeah, it looks like a flute. Also, he ran a stop sign. You don't need your feet to play the flute.

That's true. You can hit the brakes. He was probably looking down at the little holes. He's not a very good flute player. Hot cross buns, eh? Yeah. You know, I've seen other crazy stuff like that in San buns, eh? Yeah, yeah. You know, I've seen other crazy stuff like that in San Diego, specifically to do with traffic.

San Diego is a very chill city. And once I went there, and I was just like, I was hanging out at a coffee shop, and I noticed all the businessmen, none of them wear ties, they've all got like open-colored shirts. And this guy just casually jaywalked in front of a car in the middle of downtown and the car slowly pulled to a stop and they both kind of like gestured and he like lethargically like limped across the street just san diego's on like uh yeah they're on a whole different like you know way of life here yeah what is uh what is the big thing in San Diego? The Navy. Oh, really? I think so. Yeah.

It's also just hot. Yeah. And also it borders Tijuana, I believe. It's very close. Yeah. So hot and dry. Hot and it's a bordered Navy town. Yeah.

Oh, fun. It's got all the things I like. The Navy, heat, flute playing. A terrible crime city in mexico just across the board yeah yeah yeah spitting distance i think don't spit on it isn't every city in mexico a terrible crime city i want to believe there's some like still like you know very beautiful mexican like towns that are just like everyone's just happy and there's no, you know... Trucks full of torsos. Yes, exactly. Yeah, the... I mean, they must, they must, right? Still exist somewhere? I hope so.

It's a fairly large country. There must be enclaves of decapitation free day. Wednesday is decapitation free day. Feel free to bite our padded curves Here's your next phone call

Hi Dave and Graham And likely fantastic guest This is Melanie from Florida I just came back from a showing of Life of Pi which Yes it is that movie about the guy in the boat With the tiger but before they get on the boat there's a scene where the tiger eats a goat. And as I was watching this in the theater, I heard a voice that was much too young to

be there beginning to frantically ask their parents why the goat was there, what was happening to the goat, oh gosh, what is he doing? Before, right as the tiger was in fact about to eat the goat, I? What was happening to the goat? Oh, gosh, what is he doing? Before, right as the tiger was, in fact, about to eat the goat, I heard a very distraught voice scream, Oh, I'm covering my ears, but that doesn't even do anything. Oh, man. The fact that they covered their ears and yelled something out about their sight. They're really confused about their sight. My stupid eyes.

They're really confused about their senses. Oh, yeah. I'm plugging my nose, but it doesn't help. Yeah, if anything, just depriving myself of one sense is making my sights grow. You're more acute. Has anybody seen Life of Pi? No. I haven't seen it yet. I've read the book No I haven't seen it yet

I've read the book I haven't seen it either I haven't read the book But the movie looks I don't like that they In the ads they compare it to Avatar But just because like visually It's a 3D movie

And it's got a bunch of effects And apparently it's really uh good to watch yeah i've uh you know you get high the only thing i heard about it was that the uh because the book is very metaphorical yes certainly and uh apparently the movie was very literal well it handles the audience with kid gloves like uh okay here's which one was a metaphor which one was an actual it goes through the book page by page okay here you probably thought that was a real tiger it is yeah spoiler alert they were both tigers and the boat they were riding in was also a swimming tiger uh anyways i haven't read

the book haven't seen the movie you guys have probably talked about films quite a bit on this podcast it's all we talk i uh i love films and i i really dislike 3d films for the most part uh but there's one 3d film that I think is the best 3D film of all time and it might surprise you Graham and I are both thinking of a movie I saw six times in the theater

what's the matter with you it was also the theater I worked at Piranha 3D oh I saw that I was going to say Paranorman that was my guess my guess was going to say Paranorman. That was my guess. My guess was Journey to the Center of the Earth.

Oh, these are all good guesses. I think Piranha 3D is the best 3D film because they took the campiness of the idea of 3D. Because 3D doesn't look good. It's not like a hologram. It's still like these visual planes, different levels. Yeah, you don't really feel like, oh, it's coming right for me. Yeah, but Piranha 3D really took that and just showed us exactly what you wanted to see in 3D. So boobs, like piranhas, like a guy getting his dick bit off and then barfed by a piranha out at you at the audience. They just took that campiness and those like explosions and like grotesque gore scenes too yeah and it was it sort of had the um uh uh snakes on a plane feel of like

what are the ways we want people to die yeah yeah well we want uh oh we've got all these boat engines can we have someone's hair get caught in the see i couldn't there were parts of it i really like i couldn't i couldn't stomach yeah like i felt like i felt like see i love yeah i don't know why it just like i i feel like i'm a very like kind you know nice person but when i see that shit i just get like so riled up and i'm just like yeah yeah i'm i'm with devon i think that was the right movie For that kind of stuff Oh for that kind of stuff yeah absolutely Because it's not like You're like The girl with the dragon tattoo

Where you're like oh this is terrifying This is an actual thing that's happening To this person You're in a different world where You know Only the craziest deaths Happen See that's the thing is i feel like uh like i'm not i'm not opposed to crazy deaths there was something about and it's like it's something in the slasher genre that's like as old as the genre itself is the like gross mutilation

of like beautiful women right like that's that's part and parcel of the genre right like that's that's always been those monster movies and all that kind of stuff like it's always a like beautiful woman that's and it feels like if that was a genre written by a group of women like it's like then i i don't know it feels weird like it's written by some guy that maybe has like some weird yes problems with women but a dick yeah get bitten off by a barf yeah that's true i mean turnabout was fair play it belonged to a beautiful man the most beautiful man jerry o'connell absolutely people magazine sexiest Man of the Year. Ten years ago. Yeah, 1986, when he was the fat kid in the stand-by movie. I think that would be fantastic.

It was like, in years between, it went Mel Gibson, Jerry O'Connell, Tom Cruise. It was a weird year. Give the people what they want. Yeah, I think somebody fucked with the voting system. He's got a very powerful publicist. And it's just the pictures of him from the movie with the tight striped shirt. Yeah, yeah.

And all the photo spreads are of people barfing up pie. Not even him. Here's your final overheard. Here we go. Of 2013. Yep, we're retiring the show, didn't you know? Oh, wow. Hey, Dave and Graham. This is Joe from

Madison. I've got a overheard. I was in a beautiful candlelit Christmas Eve service over the holidays recently. And right before it started, I hear a young teen, 14, I guess it's a mid-teen, 14 or 15, say,

lean over to what seemed to be his grandma, and say, did you hear my dad's making me sell my trench coat? He says it's because of gangs. But I think it's because we've run out of money. He's making me sell my trench coat, not just get rid of it. You sell that trench coat. It's sort of like he's bragging to his grandma.

Like he's hitting on her. Gotta get rid of this trench coat, because I'm too dangerous. See you over at the Nog. Did my dad tell you? Did the news make it over to the retirement home? Yeah, exactly.

As soon as I heard that, I just imagined him with another trench coat, holding open his trench coat, and it's full of trench coats. He's like in an alley, like, you want a trench coat? A tiny trench coat for your candle. I got all these little trench coats for little bats. You think he's in the Trench Coat Mafia? Well, you know, some people say the Trench Coat Mafia doesn't really exist. What?

Yeah, that Mary Apuzzo made it up for that movie. The Trenchfather. Whenever I'm watching TV and I'm flipping through the channels and I see Turner Classic Movies, TCM, I always think Trenchcoat Mafia. Is this movies enjoyed by Dylan Klebold? Enjoyed by weird nerds. Dylan Klebold. Have either of you ever, in reality, ever seen somebody selling something out of a trench coat? Oh, no. Oh, man.

I would love that. I would love it, too. I would definitely take it in. I would consider what they're selling. Like, if somebody had, like, a bunch of, you know, like... Fake Rolexes. Or, like, iPods, you know? Oh, yeah.

And, like, he just had them on his trench coat, and he just picked out... Like, I don't know... How do they stay on? Are they, like iPods, you know? Oh, yeah. And like he just had them on his trench coat and he just picked out. Like, I don't know. How do they stay on? Are they like Velcroed on? Well, because like the watches thing, they would be safety pinned in or whatever. But for, yeah, he would have to have some sort of like either Velcro or hooks or something like this would, you know, I mean, it's a big deal, but he's mobile. That's the most important thing is he can move anywhere, sell them on a corner, whisper to somebody,

hey, you want to... It's a tough job in the summer when you're like, oh, I got to wear this trench coat. Well, that's in the summer there, they become the guys that flash their genitals. That's their summer gig. So they don't wear anything. Yeah, they still have merchandise,

but they also show you Their merch Yeah yeah They just have those The pants that go up To the knee So it looks like You're wearing Yeah

It's got like warmer And then like a Garter belt Yeah The pants that go up To the knee Yeah Fishnet stockings

I don't want to attract Any attention To these fishnet stockings With my trench coat I don't want to attract any attention. And my loafers. Guys, it's going to be a great summer. I can't wait. Well, that about brings us to the end of the show, I'd say. Sure enough. Now, Devin, you're working on a lot of things A lot of different comedy things

If people want to find you online Where are the best places to go? Explodingsandwich.com You could still go to that site It's still up Just go to hipbang.ca That's H-I-P-B-A-N-G What does that mean by the way?

It's just evocative Oh yeah It's just like You're shooting from the hip Hips banging sex Oh yeah Banging hips Banging your hip

On a door frame Exactly Like an old lady Hurting her hip Yeah It's just a couple words That sound nice together That's what we thought

And then you can also Check out PumpTrolleyComedy.com I also have a Twitter It's at DRGMackenzie. Cool. M-A-C-K. You got any big shows coming up? Anything you want to plug? Yeah.

At the China Cloud, the next Pump Trolley shows are January 28th and 29th. It's a Monday-Tuesday. Otherwise, every Wednesday night at Mr. Brownstone, which is at 13th and Main. I produce the Hit Bang Show, which starts at 9 o'clock it's five bucks it's really fun yeah mr brownstone is the appetite for destruction themed restaurant

oh and i'll also add i'm going to be at the uh san francisco sketch fest uh coming up so i'm gonna be down there and i'm doing a we're doing a whole tour we're doing shows in um seattle uh bellingham seattle portland uh we're doing shows in San Fran for the Sketch Fest, and then we're heading over to L.A., and we're doing some show there before heading back to Vancouver. So you're driving a car? This is Hip Bang. Hip Bang.

Yeah, so we'll be there. That's all the beginning of February. Are you doing this by car? Yeah, we're actually traveling with a group called Charles, who are a fantastic sketch group who are originally from Seattle, and now they're from L.A. Of the two of you, which are going to be like in charge of things. Tom is the business mind. I'm more the like cool dude.

The answer we were looking for was Charles. But you know what? Good answers. Yeah. Just honest answers. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. You shoot from the hip. Yeah. Bang, you bang your hip Yeah, that's right. Yeah, you shoot from the hip. Yeah. You bang your hip. Yeah, I have sex with a door friend while shooting. Dave, do you have anything to plug?

You know what? I think we will be releasing a couple of live episodes in the next couple of weeks. Oh, nice. I finally got around to the Calgary episode. Oh, yeah. I believe we'll be, I think that might even be released before this episode is released. And then also the live episode from Max FunCon East with Hari Kondabolu. Yeah.

That'll be out maybe before the next episode is out. Just, you know, keep your ear to the ground. Keep your feet on the ground. Yeah. Keep reaching for the stars. Champagne wishes. Caviar dreams. Keep your feet on the ground. Yeah. Keep reaching for the stars. Champagne wishes. Caviar dreams. Keep.

Walking tall. Yeah. Keep. Walk tall. Like an Egyptian. Yeah. Lay low. Lay la.

Yeah. Low low. Get low. Lawyer up. Yeah. Hug it out, bitch. Yeah. Hug it up.

Yeah. Hug it out. Sn it out snuggle up bitch and Graham you? I don't think that I have any really upcoming I would say if you're bored of regular old Twitter why not follow

at ApeCop because he's back on the beat oh wow and if you like the show tell your friends old Twitter, why not follow at ApeCop? Because he's back on the beat. Oh, wow. Yeah. And if you like the show, tell your friends. Head over to MaximumFun.org to check out the blog recap that Dave does each and every week. Videos and pictures

relating to the content of the episode. Yeah. Maybe the Carrie Diaries. Maybe that famous Charles in Charge. Absolutely. Maybe Batman having some very soft, affectionate romance. We'll see. And if you like the show, feel free to leave a comment on iTunes. Be like, hey, that show.

Pretty good. Pretty good. That's all you have to write. Five stars. Five stars, exactly. And if you want to get in touch with us, it's stoppodcastyourself at gmail.com or 206-339-8328. And we'll see you all next week here on Stop Podcasting Yourself. Stop Podcasting Yourself. Thank you.