Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 256 - Jon Dore

Episode Date: February 12, 2013

Comedian Jon Dore returns to talk dog pranks, juice cleansing, and how to spend fifty bucks.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello, everybody, and welcome to episode number 256 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is the man they call the Queen of Mean, Mr. Dave Shumka. Oh yeah, who is that? Esmeralda Marcos? Yeah, or maybe Joan Rivers in her day. I feel like it's a title that's passed.

Well, you know who's the Queen of Nice? Rosie O'Donnell. Oh yeah, absolutely. She used to always call herself that. Until she got that staph infection and went crazy. No, the queen of mean was the hotel heiress with all the... Parasyl... With the hotel concierge from... Oh, Debbie Super 8.

Yeah, Debbie Super 8. Who's a Debbie Super 8? From the movie Super 8? Yes. Oh, yeah. That's their life story super super me that uh voice you're hearing is uh our guest uh return guest a fan favorite uh one of our favorites mr john yeah it has to be qualified every time yeah and by the way i'm sorry for jumping in i don't know

that's one of the things i'm not i'm unsure of when do i start to talk now i'll be introduced or do i just jump in so if you guys had a thing to do i apologize immediately off the top i'm here to be your guest go ahead we're done let's get to okay great john welcome back you're in town i am for the vancouver is it called the comedy fest or it's called the comedy and arts oh? Oh, Jesus. I have no idea. I don't know. There are comedy shows going on. And I'm in town. I don't know what the title is. I think now they've been saying Comedy and Arts,

but I haven't seen many arts. Well, yeah, and nor have I. And I have nothing to provide. I think it's Comedy and Nards, wasn't it? Comedy and Nards. Yeah, yeah. Like Wolfman? No, like Balls,ards, wasn't it? Comedy and nards. Yeah, yeah. Like Wolfman? Oh, no, like balls, right? Isn't that nards? Nards, yeah.

Oh, you mean the nards? Nads. You're thinking of nads. Does nobody say nards anymore? I don't know if I've ever said nards, but I've said nads. Yeah. No, nards is short for your gonards. Can I be honest?

I've never been comfortable. Gonards. That would be the French ducks. The canards. Gonards. Or foxes. Renards. That would be the French ducks. The Canards. Go Nards. Or foxes. Renards. Oh, wow.

Truth. They're related. What do you mean? They're not related. Ducks and... I guess we're all related when we map the gene back. Yeah. And where do you map the gene back to?

Your Nards. Oh, that's true. Yeah, fact. I don't know what they're calling the festival. If arts is in the title, I have not brought anything artistic thus far. No. Barely even comedy. So they're going to have to rename it next year for the Vancouver Appearance Festival.

What about the Vancouver Barely Comedy, but it's spelled bear like a bear yeah the mascot is an oars a naked guy so it's super confusing it's like barely comedy but it's a naked guy but it's spelled like a bear so are we getting naked comedy and so they show up thinking they're gonna get naked comedy and then bears come out and maul everyone oh bear like like naked bear yeah yeah okay when he said naked guy i was like oh like a naked bear like a uh hairy gay oh yeah see that's the great thing about it it's very confusing i can tell you a story about uh bears okay which involves me um someone contacted me through facebook uh a fan and said uh john i'm pretty sure this isn't you but just in case i wanted to make you aware of it, someone is using your photo. And so he sends me a link, and I click on the link, and it's some UK gay bear dating service.

And someone has my picture up there, but a completely different name. Wow. And everything. Yeah. So my photograph was used. And I thought it was fun. Yeah, that is fun. Yeah.

Do you think you were being Manti-Taoed? There was a Manti-Tao-ish thing happening. But no, I think my picture was being used. Someone else was being Manti-Taoed, perhaps. Right, right, right. Oh, yes. If you guys were in that situation, which both of you guys have been. Yeah.

What do you mean? Dave also may be. I was discovered not on a gay site. Okay. On Plenty of Fish, was it? Yeah. Someone was using my picture on Plenty of Fish. And did you find out who that was?

No. Okay. So they used your face, different name. Yeah. But you guys, in theory, if this person was like, I just need you to play along for one night so I can get this promotion, would you be on board? I'm fully on board.

Okay. Fully on board, yes. We're all going to die one day. We need a little bit. We need mischievousness. We need misch board. Okay. Fully on board, yes. We're all going to die one day. We need a little bit. We need mischievousness. We need mischievousness. Nope. Nope.

Let me go again. We need to be mischievous. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely. One more time. We need mischievousness. I mean, no, I've got it. I had it.

Let's go back, John. Be an adult. We need mischievousness. No, I've got it. This is the Martin Short Scenes from an Idiot's Marriage. SCTV? No. Andrea Martin.

Scenes from an Idiot's Marriage. Ingrid Bergman and Jerry Lewis in Scenes from an Idiot's Marriage. I'm getting a divorce. My lawyer's name is Sven Gundelblum. Sven Gundelblum.

Sven Gundelblum. Repeat after me. Sven. Sven Gundelblum. Sven Gundelblum. Sven Gundelblum. And that's a story I told. Yeah, that was great. Don't, John. Don't john don't no no no don't no no i'm good so did you do anything about the uh bear website no i didn't do anything i didn't think

there was anything to do i mean i didn't send in more photos like here's me in case i need a topless what i did was we it's known who the the person is right who found it uh yeah she talked about it on the podcast yeah amanda brooke perrin uh uh toronto comedian past guest i know amanda yeah yeah she um i guess originally from calgary anyway she i asked her i after she discovered this guy i was like hey you should try to go on a date with him and she she made advances and he uh relinquished that thing uh that's when you let somebody go yeah no he uh but but if she returns to him yeah it's meant to be yeah so now um was what picture was she using was she using a problem yeah oh right maybe she should have used a picture of someone else yeah go for me yeah

no that would have been great so so this guy or girl well yeah guy i'm assuming was Oh, right. Maybe she should have used a picture of someone else. Yeah. Go for me. Yeah, another picture of you. No, that would have been great. So this guy or girl, well, yeah, guy, I'm assuming, was probably, well, who knows who it was. But yeah, he was not willing to follow through. What couldn't, I guess, unless he came with a picture of you taped to his face. That would be the greatest. Yeah, really. That would be the best.

And thinking, like, I'm getting away with it. Yeah, he's putting spaghetti, like, just, like, onto the picture and it's just falling back on the plate. But the picture's upside down. The spaghetti's hitting Dave's eyes. Yeah. It's a black and white photo. Amanda's like, I think I met the man of my dreams. I couldn't understand anything he was saying.

He's got a different color skin on his hands. He's so unique. I'm so different about him. His body's so... His face reminds me of Hitler, but his body is so... So, yeah. So, you're big in the bear community. It's great.

There's no other story, really. Like, no, I didn't pursue mine. I just kind of let it be. I figured to get involved, it would just make things... Like, what would would i do i'd have to contact the company somehow and say that's not me or that is me and how long could it go on for anyway and who cares i mean if they did it it would just be like yeah so yeah because someone's gonna be disappointed you know what i mean they're gonna get caught like i don't get the what the point is of it because if you ever meet the person in real life which i believe is the point of these sites,

they're going to be like, hey, you're not even close. It's not like that was a good picture of you. That was young you. It's a completely different person. They're maintaining, unless just maintaining the contact back and forth is the fun. I think that's the kick they get out of it, probably. Or standing people up for dates. Standing people up for dates they love.

That's fun, but you have to go to it to see it, and then you've not stood the person up. Oh, I see. It's fun to stand people up, but you can't... You can just stand people up and not... You don't have to witness them going... I mean, wouldn't that be the fun, though? It's like setting up a prank. I don't know if it's fun.

I don't know if it's... Just taking down some time codes. Now, why? People are putting this podcast in their ears. Don't burp into the microphone, you disgusting animal. Dave, you disgusting animal genuinely mad i agree it was not a lovely charming jonathan doerr like thing to do but i'll be honest with you it just came out yeah it's okay look maybe some people would enjoy it i made sure that it was

deep and it could have been very soulful to their ears yeah that's right it was very soulful john what's going on in sports? Well, I'll tell you what's coming up after the break. Recovering from concussion turns Sid the Kid into Sid the Man. Not just the face of hockey, but its forceful, forthright voice. He speaks out like no NHL star before on safety, league tensions, and more. Later in sports, Roy McGregor has more on the story. That was great.

Thank you. That was pretty good. Yeah. My copy was provided by the Globe and Mail. That's a... Canada's national newspaper. Yeah, that's right. Number one.

Number one in paper. Yeah. So what else is going on? That's vague. Yeah, absolutely. I like to throw out the big questions. So just like throw it out there. I can tell you anything.

What are you, what are you all about? What, what ain't I all about? I'm about a lot of things, but a lot of things. Is it about change? Oh, right. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, right.

Yeah. For God. Tell me about the change. Flux. Um, I, um, uh, have the folks in town in los angeles so they've been in town for two weeks and i came up to uh i came up to vancouver for a little break do the festival and then go back down see the folks so i'm excited about that they got to see my house for the first time you live in a house i'm growing up i have a house and i'd like to extend an invitation and i've done

this before and i feel like not only was the invitation denied but rudely so yeah and um i feel like i would like um i'd like i'd like a little bit more contact from the two of you over the course of a year okay um rather than just coming in doing the podcast i'd like to maintain more of a friendship but anyway i'd like to extend an invitation to come do a podcast at 6,000 feet. On Mount Shasta. Well, it's on, no, it's Lake Arrowhead. Lake Tahoe. No, no, David.

No, you can continue naming, but it's not. It's the mountains of San Bernardino. San Berdu. No, David. I think that's what it is. Well, no, I think I would know. It's the San Bernardino Domingo Flamingos. There we go.

We got it. So come on up to Santa Domingo Flamingos. Yeah. Go Flams. And why don't you guys come down? We'll do a podcast. Well, are we coming down or are we coming up? Well, you got to go down, then go up.

Because we're going down. We're going south, then we're going literally up. Yep. You gotta get up to get down. Shut the fuck up, Dave. Oh my god. Now, but it would be fun I think if we brought the equipment. Bring your equipment down. Who's we?

I'll fly up and I'll bring the equipment down. You'll come up to go down to go back up. Can I say something honestly? No. Sorry, can you? I will say something honestly. I get excited when I know I get to see the two of you.

Me too. I do. No, I don't feel like you do. I feel like you get a little bit annoyed. I feel... Graham, of course, is just lovely. he cherishes all of life's wonderful experiences. That's right. I love all creatures.

You do. And, um, Dave, of course, that's not true, but I'm, I get a little bit excited when I come up here. I get a little bit excited. And I would love to fly up and fly your equipment down. I feel like, I feel like the whole journey would be fun. Do you remember when we took the ferry ride from, Graham, you and I did that show in Victoria, and we had to take the ferry ride back to Vancouver. Do you remember?

I had hot fries with gravy in my hand. Yep. And you remember, for no reason. Oh, yeah. I used to always just fill time by trying to be impressive, doing just everyday things. So I would say say watch this and then just throw a fry in my mouth and eat it like it means nothing it just it kills time it's

something stupid the fry was so hot i said watch this pop the fry in my mouth like oh it was great but it was the greatest thing i ever watched graham enjoyed himself and so uh i would love just to, I love having nothing to do. That's what I'm working on now. If you really want to know what's going on with me, it's trying to figure out how I can not leave my house and make money. So I have got to find a way of either faxing or.

Wait, wait. The first pillar in your plan is faxing. I'm just saying, any way I can get something out. So faxing, scanning and mailing, emailing cartoons. I'm thinking of becoming Gary Larson. You know how you just do that? He was really good.

He was amazing. He left on his own terms too am i wrong in saying that like gary larson and dave berry were like two comedic entities that don't exist now like there's no dave berry still exists as dave berry well yeah but do you know what i mean like he's not like i think gary larson fits that description for sure i still hear about dave berry occasionally but like there's not a category like there's not like a fantastic comic that everybody knows. Yeah. And there's not like a weekly humor columnist in the newspaper that you're like, oh, what's so-and-so's take on everyday life?

Right. I miss it. I miss both of those things. Well, then the time has come and I've somehow, and I'm not joking, I have bought books how to draw. I have no skills whatsoever. But I think I'm still in Grimms. I want to live. I want to not travel.

And I can't fly an audience into my house for a lot of reasons. Wait, wait. Why not? Okay. You're flying us in. I looked into it already. I'll tell you if you think. Wait, wait.

Did you fax? Oh, look it. I can fax jokes. I can fax responses back. It's going to be a nightmare. But flying them in, it's going to cost a lot of Oh, look it. I can fax jokes. I can fax responses back. It's going to be a nightmare. But flying them in, it's going to cost a lot of money, number one. What if you became the fax comic? So the fax machine goes from club to club.

And all the jokes are facts about things. Facts and facts. Yeah. And so they're like, ladies and gentlemen, the fax comic. And there's just a fax machine on stage. And then you go, whee-oo! And the first joke comes out. Because you come out one at a time. Yeah, yeah.

So you have to wait for it to connect for every joke. Yeah. And then there's also a stenographer there for crowd interaction. So like, you go, you send in anybody celebrating anything and then some girl goes, bachelor party, and types that in, faxes it

back to you yeah you read it oh who's the lucky fellow i'm not joking we we have to mount this experiment it has to be tried oh he's having a really he's having a really bad night he's sending a lot of pages backwards so they're he's just blank i'm drunk at. I fax a page from the newspaper. Yeah. What else is in the news? Well, I'll tell you, Dave. Coming up in weather.

Is this a newspaper of weather? Coming up in horoscopes. Going to find out. Not prepared for weather. Didn't know you were throwing to weather. Oh, our business analyst is going to be around later, and he's going to say the following. There'll be a report on business, absolutely, and obviously the twilight of a boom.

With its oil selling at a steep discount, Alberta's energy-fueled fortunes are fading. As the province's pain spreads and Ontario's industrial engine sputters, Canada's comedy finds itself in need of a new growth story. Got most of the words. More with Gordon Pitts. What's that? You got most of the words. I think I said every single word, didn't I?

Yeah, no, but you... Oh, did I say something incorrectly? I think you said Canada's a comedy. Oh, did I really? Yeah. Okay, hold on a second. Canada's economy, and I said a comedy. I was going too fast.

We'll be back with more after this hit from Stained. Who's Stained? Stained, they were a new metal. Oh, I totally remember Stained, yes. They had the... I think their big song was with Fred Durst It was from the Anger Management Tour

It was a live recording of an acoustic song That went a little something Like this I'm on the outside I'm looking in I can see through things. I have x-ray vision. Tears in heaven.

There's no way those were the lyrics. I can see through things. I have x-ray vision. Yeah, it's weird. There's another song by Stained. It was big. Oops, I stained it again. Oops, I stained it again.

I stained it again. Oops, I stained it again. I stained it again. I'm a dog in Dave's house. Dave is dog sitting this week, and he hates the dog. I like the dog fine. You hate the dog, you said. I like the dog. I heard you say twice while you were outside throwing the tennis ball while this dog was digging up your grass you said i hate that dog with venom and bile

no no i'm i'm teasing but i am being dog has a fun bladder yeah the place likes to play a lot of pranks yeah you call it you call a fun bladder yeah yeah it's loosey-goosey yeah it's got sort of a uh jackass attitude yeah yeah yeah yeah it's kind of it's like the steve-o of dogs yeah hi i'm a puppy and this is called peeing on dave's car i'm a puppy and this is called the steam face dave asleep oh i'd love to do a prank show with the dog at your house though. Yeah. And the dog does pranks on me. No, no,

it does Abby too. Yeah. And Graham's in the guest room. So does the three of you with a dog. Yeah. What other crazy fun pranks could you have? That's just, it's just dogs pulling the pranks.

So it'd be like a drive through. Yeah. Right. You know, you drive through and then it's just a dog having you your hamburger or eating it oh just the fact that the dog is there yeah yeah oh you could do anything like oh yeah John John you have one no if you got one go ahead but I was gonna say drive through no the dog is driving the car so yeah you do full-on conversation and you order up what would you order? You just, just meat, no bun. No bun, no ketchup, just the meat.

And then it's seven of them. And then you pull up and there's a dog with sunglasses driving the car. And there is video. You can find it online. I know you might post this because you're just very attentive when it comes to your audience and looking at that page. There's a dog driving a car. It's like a mini in Britain. And he's got a dog driving a car. It's a mini in Britain. And he's got a little hand.

He's got a hand pedal. He puts it in gear and he'll drive it. I mean, not even close. I mean, the dog, he's not turning corners. What if you were like stuck in traffic and you're just honking away and you're like, stop moving. You get out and it's just like a dog in this crazy rigged car. And the dog sits there, terrified.

You do everything. Church. You do church. And then more organ music starts to play. You meant like you're in confession and then the door slides open and it's a dog. You do that. I was going to say the congregation gathers on Sunday.

It's packed and organ music starts playing, minister walks out, dog. Dog with a priest collar. And you just wait for as long as you can. And he just sniffs into the mic. Okay, okay. You throw a frisbee and he catches it. That's how he comes in. You're on a plane, and suddenly these terrorists get up, and they overpower the flight attendants,

and then they go into the cockpit. But they're in on it, too. Wait a minute, the terrorists are in on it? Yeah, terrorists are part of it. And they go into the cockpit, and the pilot is a dog. And then it turns around, and the terrorists are just dogs standing on each other's shoulders in like a trench coat. And they do a little dance.

And make a little love. And the people, what are they called? If you fly in an airplane, you're a guest of the airline? You're a client. You're a client. A passenger.

Thank you, passenger. The passengers are no more comfortable now that they find out. Oh, the pilot's a dog. Oh, okay. So you're not, it's not real terrorist. And the pilot is a dog. Good. We're Yeah. Oh, yeah. So you're not, you're not, it's not real terrorist and the pilot is a dog.

Good. We're going to make it. But this is a specially designed plane that a dog can fly. Yeah. And he's, he's been on the announcements talking about how rough the flight is. Good stuff. That's what dogs say. Coming up in sports, we've got, now, um, I think that's a great idea.

Dog prank show. Yeah. And we, I think it was your idea. So, well, but perhaps it's maybe deep and I can get in on a great idea. Dog prank show. Yeah. And I think it was your idea. So, well, but perhaps maybe Dave and I can get in on the ground level. Yeah. And let's produce this show. I'm not joking. Graham, you're going to get a finder's fee.

No way. Thank you, David. Let's go with that for a bit, can we? We were talking about Fargo before the show. And once you start talking about Fargo, you pretty much quote every line from the movie. And Dave successfully reintroduced Fargo by saying, you're going to get a finder's fee. Graham, take it away. Oh, you take it away.

You take it away. You take it away. Because I like doing the other. Oh, we checked out this deal. Pretty sweet deal. Oh, yeah, it's a sweet deal. I mean, we could give you a finder's fee. A finder's fee? What the heck you mean? That's only like, what, heck, 10%? sweet deal. I mean, we could give you a finder's fee. A finder's fee?

What the heck do you mean? That's only like, what, heck, 10%? That's Jerry Lundegaard. Pretty good. This is my deal. This is my deal here. Now, Dave is into the paper. Dave, what's big in Japan?

Oh, big in Japan this week, Godzilla. Sushi. Sushi. It's a rice and fish beverage enjoyed by the Japanese. The Japanese. More on it later in tonight's Lifestyle on Japan section. That's coming up right after Stained. What is that song?

There's one more song. I've got extra viaggione. Viaggione. Now, you said that you're trying to learn how to draw. Well, ultimately, I don't know if it's ever going to happen, but trying to find a way to creatively get work out of the house so I never have to leave. That's the dream.

Now, do you find with drawing books, because when I was a kid, like, you would get these, learn how to draw your favorite cartoon characters. And it takes all the fun out of it. Oh, yeah. Because it would be like, okay, this guy has two circles, a triangle, and a cylinder. But it always goes circle, two circles, eight circles. Right.

There's always a leap where you're like, oh yeah, I really have to figure out how to join these circles together. And then I've got to erase all the circle parts I'm not going to be using. The excess, yeah. And also I'm not that good at drawing circles to begin with. They seem to be the building blocks. Circles are the hardest thing to draw. I'd love to have a circle drawing competition with you guys. Yeah? No tracing.

Free hand. Oh, not necessarily now. No, no, no. We're here anyway. Let's see who can do the best circle. But just one pass. You don't get to... There's a time limit on this. Can we use just this newspaper? Seven seconds. Seven seconds is the top.

That's the time to beat. We'll each use a portion of this area. A smaller size circle. Dave is starting out. I'm going to sign my name there. I thought that was your circle and I was like, boy, I'm going to beat that. Dave signed his name.

He's starting. It's looking very good. Good start, good finish. That is a really good circle. Classic problem at the end. You know what I mean? Yeah, gave it a little widow's peak. A little widow's peak.

I think that's as sharp as any circle you're going to see. That's a great circle. That's the circle to beat. John Doerr. I've got to get comfortable. I've got to get my arm in the right place, because otherwise. Well, why don't you move the microphone? You's the circle to beat. John Doerr. Here we go. I've got to get comfortable. I've got to get my arm in the right place, because otherwise... Well, why don't you move the microphone? You don't need to talk.

I'm comfortable. I'm comfortable here. This is the cave. John Doerr. Okay. Here we go. That was pretty good. John Doerr's circle looks reminiscent of Astro Boy's head.

An amoeba. An amoeba. I just wanted you to try. I just wanted you to try for once in your life. Sincerely try. Maybe that's the problem that I have. Graham. Is Graham going to make a mockery of this?

Oh, nice. I tried. I tried. Okay, Graham and Dave are in the... John, do you want to do a real one? Okay, I'll do a real one. But you guys are genuinely looking really good. I don't even know if I can beat that.

Well, we did put a lot of effort into it. Okay, so scratch that one out. How much time are you going to devote to this right here? Here we go. Okay, there we go. An amoeba. Yeah, it looks like a deflated balloon. Well, whatever it is, it looks good and we had fun competition.

All right, everyone. As I mentioned, we have a Sidney Crosby story coming up a little bit later. Where is sports in this? I've got it right here. No, you don't. You have the front page. front page that's the front page yeah i don't know where sports is sports is somewhere oh this newspaper is the only one in canada that doesn't have a sports section yeah yeah yeah they just have teasers yeah dave how happy are you that hockey's

back are you do you care at all yeah i'm pretty happy yeah have you been going to canucks games you've been following them i haven't been going nanny. Okay. What am I? On a podcaster's salary? Did people in America, did they notice at all that hockey was on strike? No, pretty much no. I mean, I guess, you know, the Die Hard King fans, obviously, but no. There's no media whatsoever. Right. So it was really, because up here it was the lead story of almost every newscast. Well, every day there must have been, yeah, where's hockey? But no, there was nothing going on in the States.

I mean, obviously the occasional news story buried in sports kind of thing. But yeah, that was about it. When it came back, there were, you know, obviously people were talking about it because it's part of the economy. But yeah, just, I was so excited when it started up again, just because now there's more to watch on the road with my NHL Game Center. And being West Coast, oh, that 4 o'clock East game is great. You guys know that.

You grew up with that here in Vancouver. But we don't really care for that. I don't want to. Really? I only like watching my team. Oh, okay. I love watching my team, but I can watch just about any hockey game. Now, this thing that you said, NHL Sports Center, this is a channel? This thing that you Oh, okay. I love watching my team, but I can watch just about any hockey game. Now, this thing that you said,

NHL Sports Center, this is a channel? This thing that you said, John. This thing you're talking about. Yeah, Game Center is what it's called, I think. What did I say? Sports Center?

No, I have no idea. I'm just wondering, did you get any money back? NHL.com. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah. No, but you know what? Do you pay for it?

I didn't have to pay, at least not yet this season, so I don't know if they worked out some sort of weird deal. But in the past you've had to? Yeah, in the past you've had to. I can't even remember what it is. Something like $100 for the entire season, every game and playoffs. So yeah, it's totally well worth it.

And you can just spend an entire day in a hotel room, which I love doing. Yeah. If you can't not leave the house, then you will not leave the hotel. I will not leave the hotel. I like being indoors. Yeah. Thank you will not leave the hotel. I will not leave the hotel. I like being indoors. Thank you for doing the podcast indoors. Yeah, we were going to do it outside picnic style. Yeah, in the gazebo.

When you used to do the podcast outdoors, oh, goodness, that was crazy. I mean, we were running into a lot of weather problems. Yeah, there was a lot of inclement weather. That creek in the background while relaxing. Yeah, why did you do it by the crick? Well, I had no choice. Because I need to wash my clothes.

Okay, so that's what he did by the creek. Okay. So Betty White does this prank show with old people. It's terrible. So we would just pitch it as like that, but we replaced the old people with dogs. But we still have Betty White host and only wearing a dog costume. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely.

This makes sense. She's a dog lover. She, yeah, yeah. Absolutely. This makes sense. She's a dog lover. She's a big dog lover. She likes everything. Well, then she's appropriate for this. She's into whatever. Yeah.

Okay, now, next question. Who can get in contact with Betty White? Who knows Betty? Do you know? Oh, follow-up question.

Who let the dogs out? Hmm. Stand. Did we find out who did let them out? Could that be the name of the show?

It could. I mean, at least that could be the theme song for the show. There was, this is how we do it. Oh, right. So we could bring back who let the dogs out It could. I mean, at least that could be the theme song. There was, this is how we do it. So we could bring back Who Let the Dogs Out.

Would How We Do It have that as the theme song? Oh yeah, did you not know that? It was called, This Is How We Do It. That's some great moments on it, though. There was some good stuff on that show. Were you on it? No, I wasn't. I know a lot of scary tactics. This is scary tactics.

Was it called Scary Tactics? yes was it called scary tactics uh it was originally called gary tactics because gary was the uh the creator uh gary unmarried tactics scary gary unmarried tactics but then they just shortened it to scare tactics yeah that was that was some of the most fun i've ever had in my entire life that is great this is how we do it that's not i mean it's is that clever i'm not sure if it's That is great. This is how we do it. That's not, I mean, it's, is that clever? I'm not sure if it's clever. Well, the show is called How We Do It. How, but, but like, what does that mean?

How we do it? His name's Howie Mandel. Yeah, yeah. But what does how we do it mean? Well, no, it's grammatically incorrect. Yeah, that's what it means. But it's a lot of fun. Yeah.

Well, as long as we're having fun. But is it grammatically incorrect? Like if I said John Do It. This is how we do it is not grammatically incorrect. Oh, but you're talking about the... No, the word... Sorry, the title of the... Is Howie.

Howie. Like John Doit. Oh, yeah. No, I know. Like that's grammatically incorrect. Well, no, I know how we is not spelled Howie. Unless there's a comma. Howie Doit.

Oh, yeah. It's in the imperative. Do you think there are other podcasts spending this much time talking about how we do it? Yeah, yeah. I think we've... Okay, I was going to say, I think we've carved out. I can't say we. It's your show.

No, no, no. No, you're right. Yeah, you won 33%. It's all of our shows. You get a finder's fee. I'm trying... What the heck do you mean? That's like 10%.

It feels pretty sweet. Dave, what's going on with you? You're not going to believe this The big thing that happened to me this week is I started a cleanse Oh, wow I kind of don't believe that But I kind of do

And I finished it two days early Is that how it works if you're really good at it? Yeah I aced the cleanse. I got... You were fast-tracked. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

I've sort of been interested in doing a juice cleanse, and there's a company in town called The Juice Truck that sells juices out of a truck. Oh, yuck. Oh, okay. That's gross. It comes out of the exhaust. They just collect whatever drippings. Why does out of a truck... Wasn't that universally like... Oh, I ate something comes out of the exhaust. They just collect whatever. Why does out of a truck?

Wasn't that like universally like, oh, I ate something bad out of a truck. Right, right, right. It's all the fad in Los Angeles now. It's all the food trucks. Yeah. Everywhere. Yeah. But go on. Our cash register is an iPad.

And I've sort of been interested in doing it just to find out about it. And I was like, okay, I'm going to try this. And I went to their website. And you order it from their website and they deliver it to your house. This is the juice truck's website. Yeah. They do a three-day, a five-day, and a seven-day juice cleanse. The three-day is $200.

Jesus. And I was like, like well you know what i might get some a funny story out of this should have gone on the crystal cleanse and so far so good dave yeah and uh like you can kind of justify it in like i don't know how much i spend on food in three days but i'm only going to be drinking juices, so I'll save that much. Yeah, my juice budget is way low usually, so if I up that to $200. So I ordered this juice cleanse, and then it said to pick the day that you wanted, and I picked the day. And I realized I picked the wrong day. The day that I wanted to start it was unavailable, so I immediately...

Whoa, whoa, whoa, what does that mean? Well, you need to give them two days' notice, was like i want to start right away i like that the juice truck has you on their schedule yeah yeah but but but also so two days notice okay i can kind of understand that yeah you got to prepare but um why did you have to start immediately just fit in with with what i was like maybe if i do it on i kind of wanted to to do it for the podcast and be like i started the juice cleanse on thursday we're recording on saturday i would have done it last week like i wanted to do it last week and they were like uh and i signed up for i want to start thursday and then i realized oh i picked the wrong thursday

the thursday that i want to start is unavailable ah so uh i emailed them i canceled and i uh i said uh can you please refund my money i'll pick another day like oh no we don't yeah that uh can i pick another day in the future and they said sure no problem they refunded my money then i got a call this wednesday saying your juice is on its way and i was like oh no i canceled that and the guy was like oh oh you did you did okay my mistake guy was like, oh, you did, you did okay, my mistake well, the delivery guy's coming anyway, do you want a free juice cleanse? and I was like, oh, I'll definitely do that

David, you sly so if you ever want a free juice cleanse that's how you gotta do it this is how you gotta do it now, what type of juices are we talking here? are we talking like a gross, like a wheatgrass? so gross, all gross, like a wheatgrass? Yes, so gross.

All gross, all the time. Moss? Day two is green, I bet. No, all days are green. Oh, okay. Is there an algae? Yes, one of them is an algae. You're a maniac, you're a maniac.

I don't understand these people. Do you feel better? Or am I cutting to the end too quickly? Yeah, that might be it. Go ahead, go ahead. Well, so I read up on it, read up am I cutting to the end too quickly? Go ahead. So I read up on it. Read up what I've got to do. I can't eat anything else.

I can't drink coffee. I can't drink alcohol. I can't drink anything but water and these juices. I can't chew gum. I'm angry right now. I'm out. You're not allowed to chew gum even. You're not allowed to brush your teeth.

That's not true. You can brush your teeth. But you have to do it with blue-green algae. Yeah. Shower. Yeah. Do they give you tub juice? Special tub juice.

Here's your tub juice. They give you special teeth barnacles to clean your teeth. Flossing. There are seven juices in a day. And you start off the first one, I forget what it's called. Orange. Rise. Oh, Rise. Okay. And it's's green and it's mostly cucumber which is fine i can do very refreshing yeah yeah i can deal with cucumber starting off on a strong note i'm in disagreement still but i'm i'm okay with cucumber

but like when i'm drinking this i'm thinking i can do this yeah drinking and thinking it's no problem this is gonna be a breeze. Second drink, you're supposed to have them every two to two and a half hours. Second drink is like a kale thing. Question. Yep. You there. Graham Clark.

Yeah. Associated Press. Are you allowed to eat? You are not allowed to eat. Okay. Bubba boy! Bubba boy! Security.

You are not allowed to eat. You're not allowed to eat you're not allowed to eat food so this is all your food they say if it's your first time doing this you might get hungry around dinner time in which case have a salad up yours, how about that

see how I did that? I'm not afraid of these juice people. I'm terrified of these juice people. I don't know what they're capable of. Yeah. Because I don't know what their agenda is. Go on, though. The second juice I have around 8.30, it is kale, mostly.

Yep. I like kale. It is a big fan. It's the worst. Drinking kale, though? Yeah. It's the drinking that's the problem. And it's not just kale.

It can't possibly be. No, no. It's not just kale. But it's like kale that's the problem. And it's not just kale. It can't possibly be. No, no, it's not just kale. It's like kale and pear and cucumber. But every one of them has like, oh, pear or apple. You don't taste any of that good stuff. No, yeah. What was the name of the kale one?

Joel McHale? Yeah, it's Joel McHale. It's fun. It's good. It was actually called The Base because I think it coats your stomach. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Because I think it coats your stomach. So that's gross. I'm sipping it. The guy who sits next to me at work is vegan.

And he's like, oh, man, I would be chugging that stuff. I love it. You're like, stop being such a vegan. Yeah. Get a life, man man the third drink stop talking to dave at work by the way if that gentleman is listening right now don't bother dave at work anymore or i will come down and thrash your face go on david tell us your juice story uh the third one i forget it's one of the it's another garbage oh no third one i think is the e3 live uh algae and it's called e3 live e3 live yeah

which is a very exciting algae conference how do how do you doing all the new algaes at e3 live can vegans drink a live algae oh yes really algae's not an animal i know butgae's not an animal. I know, but bee is not an animal either. It's an insect, and vegans won't eat honey. Yeah, but a bee is an animal. Insects are animals. Animal kingdom. I guess animal kingdom. If you're talking about kingdoms.

But algae isn't in the animal kingdom? I would argue that vegans should not eat anything, because the evidence is not yet in. All right? we don't know if lettuce feels um but they bravely say it doesn't and they chug their lettuce shakes oh can you imagine getting a lettuce shake and void of everything it would just be what would it would there be ice cream in it yeah it's not a shake if it doesn't in my lettuce shake there would be no it'd be substitutes so it wouldn't be ice cream oh it yeah it's not a shake if it doesn't in my lettuce shake there would be no

it'd be substitute so it wouldn't be ice cream oh yeah we're talking health here yeah no fat whatsoever how do they make a cream oh they do uh salad dressing oh snow lettuce lettuce and snow uh so i have this awful oh and but with the, they're like, you'll probably be feeling hungry at this point. Here's a little package of chia seeds. What? Like for the... For the chia pet. Yeah, yeah.

So to distract yourself from your hunger. Yeah. Make a Garfield with an afro. So, no, you eat these chia seeds. And I don't know if you've eaten chia seeds, but they... Not on purpose. It grows out of your... you grow a beard of chia. Yeah. When they're wet, they get all... they turn into, like...

And then you eat your face. Gelatin. You harvest your face and eat it. Oh, like jello gelatin, or just like an ooze? Like a globule of, like, bubble tea. Oh, it said either pour them in your drink or have them as a snack yeah punch yourself and then you notice you you notice you have them in your teeth because you can you get these gelatin balls between your teeth are you allowed to use floss on this cleanse no you're not oh what

yeah no you that that's a joke though that's a joke yes okay now so can can can i push you along here for a second yeah how did you feel did you feel like i won't do you feel great i felt terrible you did i was like about 11 in the morning i was uh i was hungry like i feel like i would have done better if i was just starving myself right like if i was just if i didn't also have to drink this thing that i did not enjoy. How were your bowel movements? I didn't have any. None? You dried up?

You dried up? Well, how, it was, I'm not going every four hours. Well, hold on a second, David. Before I'm completely mocked. Yeah. You're putting something into your body. I mean, you're going to turn it into energy and then excrete waste. What happened?

Whatever I have is from the day before, regardless. Right. Because it's 11 in the morning at this point. What day are we on now? We're on day one. We're still on day one? I feel like we're on week three. And that's not an insult. I just felt like we had moved along in days, but we're still day one.

We're still day one. I have this third drink. I have a salad already. Yeah, what day are you allowed to have Kentucky Fried Chicken? By the way, have you called the bacon truck? The bacon truck. The bacon juice truck? It's disgusting.

It's amazing. It just comes out of a hose. They just spray it in your face. They spray it in a bucket and you just eat it. So around 11 in the morning, I'm hating it. I start realizing how much food there is in the world. I'm on the internet and like, oh, there's food everywhere. Oh, yeah.

It's falling off the shelves. Yeah. I see a picture. North Korea. I see a picture of an egg. North Korea's not having a problem right now. I want to eat an egg. I start imagining what my first meal is going to be in 72 hours.

Did you have any dreams like the let's all go to the lobby where all the food has arms and legs and dancing? You've set yourself up for complete failure. Oh, absolutely. At this point, you're like a drug addict who just wasn't ready for rehab. Totally. I have the fourth drink. Oh, and also they say, oh, when you're done the cleanse, you're not even going to want to eat candy again. Candy?

Wait a minute. You're not going to want to eat any of the stuff that you, you're not going to want to have sweet things. You're not going to want refined sugars. You're not going to want gluten anymore. Was this supposed to be like this was the alternative to candy? No, but it was like you're're gonna lose a taste for the things you used to like that were bad for you i see okay and i forgot to mention the day before i had bought this giant bag of penny candy so in my bag at work right next to me i have this like these coke

gummy coke bottles that i want so bad yeah and then somebody brought a party sub into work yeah there it goes i just yeah you're a heroin addict and you're with you're going off uh heroin in an opium den yeah and about two i have the fourth drink it's garbage as well um this time literal garbage yeah there's one that i'm kind of looking forward to having the sixth drink because it's a protein walnut beverage. Oh, yum. It's creamy. Sure. It's going to really take me over the top. Then about five o'clock, I have the fifth drink.

Can't finish it. And then on my walk to the car, I'm like, I'm stopping at McDonald's on the way home. So you went in the complete. Good for you. Like you gave up. You gave up big. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. But it was free. Exactly. If I had invested the money, I probably would have felt that about. More incentive, yeah. So $200 buys you, how much was it? Three days. Three days worth of juice.

21 juices. If that showed up at my door, I would immediately pour it all down the drain. That's what would happen then your next call would be to the plumber like if something's happened to my drain yeah yeah it just cleared out my drain if if uh will you put algae in here if i got what is this e3 live oh man e3 live i saw them at coachella you're an idiot Just clean the toilet. Clean the toilet. You hired a plumber to clean the toilet. I have a stain on the side of my toilet. I called you. On the outside of my toilet.

It's blood, Dave. You've been to my house. You know. It's blood? Yeah, I killed someone in my bathroom. I killed someone in my bathroom and I need a plumber to come clean my toilet. And he says, can you put on e3 live now um the thing is um uh what are we talking about oh yeah north korea not to get super sad but when you were saying there's food everywhere in the world yeah immediately my brain went to now that's true yeah and. And just those stories, and they seem to be verified, are horrendous. Yeah. Of, yeah, people eating their children.

Yeah, absolutely. You know this story, right? I have not heard that story. Yes. Well, one of many, but one guy dug up a dead family member and ate her. Is that real? There's also been stories for years of people uh selling human meat on on on the market by passing it off as like pork or something

like that but this is a story where a man and went completely delirious like of course they're spending money on missiles and armies that are completely unnecessary and just i don't think the sanctions help but like absolutely they completely, completely starving to death. So in certain areas of North Korea. And so this one guy, I guess they say that his wife was on a business trip. And that's where I was like, wait a minute. Are they allowing women to go on business trips in North Korea? Also in North Korea, do they have enough business to merit a trip?

That's the other thing. Yeah. And don't call it a trip. It's a labor camp. And by the way, I have no idea what's going on over there. I shouldn't even talk about this. So anyway, the guy was delirious and he ate his daughter.

So killed her. And after he killed her, his son witnessed the killing. So he had to kill the son. Oh man, and the plumber came to clean the toilet. He had to kill the plumber. He had to kill the plumber. And then somebody came over clean the toilet. Yes. You have to kill the plumber. You have to kill the plumber. And then they... Somebody came over wearing a pepperoni dress.

And I was like, well, I might as well kill that, too. Yeah, that person, the pepperoni dress wearer should not be there. Yeah, no, you're right. This story, I'm sure. Look, if you got it, flaunt it. But anyway, so I just, like, you can only go up from there, though. I mean, if you're sitting there with your daughter's arm in your mouth. Wait a minute.

Yes, this is how I picture it. This is how I picture it happening. It's a raw, he's delirious. It's just like he's got the hand in his hand. And the elbow joint is still working. And he's just kind of gnawing down from the shoulder. Why? Why are you graphically describing his tank in his tank top

with the sun just beating down um he's got to probably say you know it's hot out it can only go up from here oh sure absolutely i think i've hit rock bottom is probably gonna go up and they're just so full of themselves though like when they don when they... I don't know what you're talking about. Sorry, Graham. You know that Eric Clapton song, When I Look Into My Father's Eyes? That's about when he ate his father. Oh, yeah.

But then the wife comes home. He had a bowl full of eyes. Two. Two eyes. Not full. A small bowl. Like for antipasto. Or, yeah, like...

Like little olives. That you wash your fingers in before you... Sorry, I cut you off. No, no, no, no, but for good reason. But when the wife comes home and finds out that the husband... What would you say? What's your explanation? I wouldn't say you, my ass.

Your wife comes in the door. I wouldn't say that. Hi, honey, where are the kids? In here, he points, and they laugh. That's how it works. That's the North Korean sitcom, yeah. Am I ever going to see them again? Yeah, probably in about two hours.

According to Jim Jong Il. What's the guy there now? I can't remember. But yeah. Kim Jong Un. Is it Un? He's number one. Yeah, number one.

Sounds like fun. It sounds like fun. Well. I would eat. Would you do a human cleanse? Sounds like fun. It sounds like fun. Well. I would eat. Would you do a human cleanse? Where you can only eat people for three days, but it's $300. Ooh.

In short, yes. Steep. In short, yes. Absolutely, yeah. I mean, it would be helpful for a lot of reasons. Question. Answer. On this subject of selling. Eating humans?

Cannibalism? Well, yeah, and selling meat that's not the meat that they said that it was. There's a big thing in Britain, right? It's horse. It's all horse. Yeah, it's horse. All horse meat. Was it Burger King?

Yeah, but in fairness, British cows look a lot like horses. That's true. And also, their Burger King is actually a king. Like, he's an actual royalty. There's real, yeah. And so, what's the big deal so what like are people outraged that it's a horse why does it matter if it's a horse like it's all crap anyway yeah but like it's europe too yeah yeah exactly you can buy horse in a

grocery store you can get married to a horse in europe yeah yeah it's a slippery slope yeah yeah first you're eating horses yeah next you know people be marrying them they should they should illegal but what's the outrage the outrage is oh it's a horse yeah or or it's or it's you shouldn't be killing horses for i think column a column b i think people are like they don't like that it's a horse yeah and also they're like don't kill a horse i think they're just like ride a horse save a cowboy um but horses are like majestic like sure why why not eat them uh it's like do we respect is it because we respect them so much more than cows no but you're absolutely right it's like you don't like when you go to sea world and a dolphin

jumps through a hoop you're not like oh what would that taste like with with rice you know like it's we pay these things are majestic we pay this you wouldn't if a cow could juggle you wouldn't eat it like that's my point if cows learned to trade or had more personality in your world juggling is a trade are you telling me it's not do you know how much money i made in juggling in high school what none right but that's only because i couldn't juggle yeah but there were people who could and you also dropped out of high school i didn't finish i didn't finish that was dumb but no i think i think that that's absolutely true i think the more personality that

an animal has the less likely we are to pigs have a great personality like what know, a porky. Oh, did you say pigs? Yeah. Oh, okay. We're into Pulp Fiction chat now. Yeah, but pigs do have a good personality, right? Because people will keep them as pets. George Clooney had a pot-bellied pig for years. Slept with him.

True, but let's be honest. We have... Who got who pregnant? George Clooney got the pig pregnant. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This I was unaware of. Had a very handsome litter of... Handsome. Yeah.

Thank you. David. No, no, no. You saved that. No, but you didn't... You deny me, and I support you. That's true. Now, the...

Is it, though? What is true? Huh? Yeah? So anyway, the pig... Yeah, no, pigs are still filth, though? What is true? Huh? Yeah? Mm-hmm. So anyway, the pig, yeah. No, pigs are still filth, though. They're still... No, I take it generally.

I'm just speaking, like, I think... Like a kosher individual. I think that, you know, the way we mostly see pigs are, like, in pens and filth and whatever. You would never... You rarely see pigs portrayed as something with the personality. Yeah, you're right. Babe.

Yeah. Babe 2, Pig in the City. Yeah, Babe 3. Electric Bigley. Three Fast, Three Furious. So that's me. You had a cleanse. I had a cleanse.

I quit the cleanse. No regrets. I don't feel like I lost to the cleanse cleanse. No regrets. No, well, it's... Like, I don't feel like I lost to the cleanse, because it was terrible. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, and also you didn't have to pay for it. Yeah, exactly. So you came out smelling like a rose, because you drank so much manure.

Did you know that the number one show on the Food Network in North Korea is John and Kate Plus Eight? Did you know that? Was that where all of this was going? Was that all of elaborate setup for that? And what if it was? I'm curious. Well, then I applaud the dedication.

The bit. Brady Bunch. Could have said Brady Bunch. Yep, absolutely. Octomom. Eight is enough. Woof. Eight ain't enough.

No. Octomom translated. It's Calamari Mom. Buffet. No, that enough. No. Octo Mom, translated. It's Calamari Mom. Buffet. No, that's a squid. Buffet. Buffet. Graham, what's going on with you?

Graham, talk to us. I was at the thrift store this week, and I bought a book that... A book called Hollywood's Canadaada which is like by pierre burton it's about how hollywood made 576 movies about canada none of them were filmed in canada but like that was a genre of movies okay about like mounties mounties and like lumberjacks yeah yeah and like habitants yeah uh and so i picked up this book and i was flipping through it i was like i'm gonna buy this Mounties and like... And lumberjacks. Yeah, yeah. And like habitants. The nooks of the north. Yeah. And so I picked up this book and I was flipping through it. I was like, I'm going to buy this book.

And then when I got at home, there was a $50 bill being used as a bookmark. Wow. So not only did I pick up this fun book about a thing I didn't know existed. Also... That's great. Now, I have the $50 and i am opening up the floor to suggestions of what to do with this 50 before we do that can i just say do you think dave knows we're dogs right now okay um the 50 yeah um yeah great question what do you what's your first instinct why why why why do you want help with this 50 i just I just thought it'd be a fun thing to open up the floor.

What era of $50 bill is it? I've got it right here. It is not the new, but it's not super old. It has the little hologram in the corner. It's from... Do they have... That might be mine. 1988.

Oh, can I see it? Can I see it? You may. Okay. Who's on this? This is William Lion Mackenzie King. That is correct. Lion King.

That's right. Lion King, as he's known. And a snowy owl. A snowy owl on the back. Yep. Checked out. Yep. Yep.

Don't tear it in half. Dave's run it through his test. Classic. So, 50 bucks. The's run it through his test. Classic. So, 50 bucks. The new $50 bill is unbreakable. But it's meltable, apparently. And the new 20 as well. So, what should I do with this $50?

I don't care. What proposal? Okay, so here we go. Dave, stop. Here we go. $50. You've been handed this money. You came across it. It don't care. What proposal? Okay, so here we go. Dave, stop. Here we go. $50. You've been handed this money. Yeah.

You came across it. It's free money. You want to do something fun. I was going to give it to the first panhandler I saw, but then I was like, you know what? Fuck that guy. I'm just going to open it up. Or girl. Let's be honest.

Yeah, it could be a girl. Absolutely. There are some females. Wow. It's 2013. Women can do whatever they want. Women can do whatever they want. Traditionally, women have handled way more pans than men.

Oh, that's very interesting. Isn't it? Thank you. Very kind of you. Bed pans as well? I mean, nurses? Pans labyrinth. Yep. Almost all women.

Pangea. Big continent. Mega continent. The panned instead of the band yeah oh that's now what do you want to do with the 50 bucks um what about um you're a single guy sure penny candy yeah that's how i'm bad at math i mean nothing costs a prostitute prostitute and do it just do it okay so 50 what can you get for $50 in today's economy? Prostitute-wise? Yeah.

I could not tell you. What is that at? I don't know either, but what... What is that, a Hanzo? What is that at? You call them Hanzos? It's a Gonzo. Yeah.

Where they shake your penis like it's a hand. Yeah. A Hanzo. Oh, I did not know that. Yeah. No, I thought that was just when they traced your hand and made a turkey. So they trace your genital. No, they trace your hand.

Oh, okay. For 50 bucks. Oh, yeah, that's right. It's a good service. Ooh, caricatures. Oh, that's fun. $50 worth of caricatures. But keep going to the same caricature artist with your own face and be like this time i want to be golfing

that's really good how about you sit down in front of the caricature artist and then he starts to draw you and then when he next looks up it's a dog wearing your shirt it's a dog in sunglasses dog in sunglasses and yeah yeah And then you just say, just blend. Keep blending. Why don't you reinvest it? Why don't you put it back into the show? Okay. What could you do for the show? Maybe spruce up.

Yeah. Is there something you could spruce up website wise? Could you possibly make the guests feel more accommodated? Is there anything you could do? Well, you, do you answer that question? What can we do? I'll tell you a couple of things right now. And I wasn't going. What could we do? I'll tell you a couple things right now. And I wasn't going to get into this, but I'll tell you a couple things right now.

Okay? You know what used to happen? There used to be a little bit more personal. It used to be a little more personal. You used to come pick me up at the airport. You used to come down to the hotel, pick me up, drive me over. That didn't happen today. Today it was take a cab, we'll pay you back. That's where you can put the 50 bucks, you fucking asshole. You give it to me. Here's another issue. Why is the chair

not got a cushion on it? Number one, it doesn't have a cushion on it the chair you're sitting on dave had one percent milk what's wrong with the cows don't want it that way you're playing you're playing with god's work my friend should be two percent but aren't i playing with god's work the moment i pasteurize no you know that is that's an instruction from god it's in the bible use louis pasteur as a vessel that's correct yeah he's an instruction from God. It's in the Bible. God used Louis Pasteur as a vessel. That's correct. He's one of them. He's a messiah, as far as I'm concerned, Louis Pasteur. Who are the top messiahs?

Top ten messiahs. Start from ten, work down to one. And when you say ten, down from one, do you want top ten, and how are we ranking them? No, no, no. Just like, the best messiah. Number one is the best messiah. Maybe it's Jesus Christ, Maybe it's Louis Pasteur.

Nikola Tesla. Nikola Tesla. Okay, number one. So we'll save that for the end. That's the end. Okay, so number one. So you want me to work my way back from ten going to one. Top ten Messiahs of all time. Yeah. I can't believe you guys don't know this, but why

are we doing this? It's just so obvious. Should I? We're counting down the top ten messiahs with John Doe. We'll be right back with the ten top messiahs. Ten top messiahs. Okay. After this song from Stain. Why don't we do two, and then we'll talk about something, and then we'll come back. Just so we're not boring everyone.

So we go from- We know Tesla's number one. Yeah. Okay. So you'll give me ten and nine, or just ten now? Ten. I'm going to give you nine now. Okay.

Because you've had Tesla. You know he's number 1. You said he was number 1. No. Oh, he's going to give you 9 more. No, you're going to get 10 and 9 now, but I gave you number 1. I'm working myself backwards. I thought that was the idea.

No, you're working yourself backwards. Down to 1. You guys are working yourselves into a tizzy. But I've told you that the number 1 is Tesla. Okay, so. I didn't know the rules of the game. Sure. Okay.

Number 10 is my dad. Number 10 is my dad. Number 10 is my dad. And this is true. He is a messiah. And he's the messiah of the condominium Carlton Square. And he takes care of any problems in the neighborhood. Somebody left their lights on. Don't tell them.

Yeah, absolutely. Which includes locking up the garbage sheds on time, which means if a street light goes out, that can be hazardous. It's a darkness where demons can play, something like that. That's what we're for. Thank you. Coming in at number 10, Mr. Dave Doerr. And yeah, he is making sure our community is clean. And if there's hoarders in the neighborhood, and this is a true story actually, now we're getting really true about Dave Doerr

if there are hoarders in the neighborhood it's his job to call the police or make sure that the condominium knows What do you mean, like somebody who's bringing stuff into their house? Yeah, if he notices like a window open and it's just filled with like boxes and dead cats

or whatever. You can call the police for that? I think so. It's a hazard. I think it's a fire hazard. And also, who knows what else is going on in there. But number one, I think fire hazard gets them in, and then they find out what else is going on in there.

You're hoarding dogs right now. Yeah, I've got two. Yeah. One more than before, Dave. We're worried about you. Every few years, I like to add a dog to the mix for 10 days. It's beautiful you hate that dog so much though we gram and i were talking about did you did you ever hit it like in your in your in your juice in your juice haze when you were juicing when you're weak and you

were of not sound mind like do you think you you hit it i can say that it it i i you've had the impulse well no it like i sometimes will use the same force that I use with grandpa to like move it off me. And I'm like, whoops, oh, I pushed you way too hard. He is just a tiny little guy. Yeah.

Do you ever squeeze it? No. Yeah, yeah. No, you're supposed to. But really hard? Sometimes I just pick it up by the neck. And think. And think.

For a long time. What's your deal? And Abby says, Dave, Dave, Dave, Dave, Dave, put the dog down, Dave, Dave. Gentle, gentle. Who's the number nine messiah? Number nine. Number nine messiahs of all time. Ladies and gentlemen, you might think this is strange, but we've got to go with Nietzsche.

Oh, Nietzsche. Paul Nietzsche, my old roommate from high school. And he famously. And roommates in high school. Paul Nietzsche. Yeah. Paul Nietzsche, my old roommate from high school. And he famously... And roommates in high school? Paul Nietzsche, yeah. Paul Nietzsche, yeah. Why did you have a roommate in high school? Because I was kicked out by the Messiah.

My dad kicked me out. Yeah, for hoarding. I was kicked out. I was hoarding. I was hoarding in Carlton Square. And he called the cops on me. And anyway, yeah, the cops waded through the mess. And I had to uh yeah with with

social assistance yeah children's aid i was able to i was able to move out with paul nichi and paul nichi was famous for saying uh this is the best friend this is the best thing about having a friend named nichi last name nichi you get to say things like i believe it was Nietzsche who said, when farting hurts, see a doctor. So, yeah. But Paul Nietzsche would be number nine on the list. I don't think we're going to make it to all ten. It's a long list. How about top five?

Those were five and four. That's five, four, and one. Yes. So coming in at number three. Well, we know one of them is already. Didn't we already? Yeah, it's number one. No, no.

But what brought this up? Who's a messiah first? I don't know what we're talking about something but oh uh louis pastor hello oh yes he's also a pastor yeah yeah he's probably nine or sorry probably 19 yeah oh my god i almost i almost oh you're going in the wrong direction you're adding more hey tell you what messiahs we're trying to tell you what tell you what tell you what uh how about next time i'm on the podcast i'll tell you my my other two to round up the top yeah that's good but right now we've got you got three you got dave door you've got paul nichi and nikola tesla now when you say nikola tesla we're talking about the inventor or is this a no no no, no, no. Oh, okay. The character from The Prestige.

You know the band Tesla. You know the band Tesla. Yeah. Yes, absolutely I do. Nikola Tesla was their roadie. And a lot of people don't know this. They were named after the roadie Nikola Tesla. Okay, okay.

And had nothing to do with the astronomer Tesla. Pretty pleased with yourself pretty pleased astronomer so that's what you do with the 50 bucks yeah yeah you you pasteurize milk for john no i'm saying you add a percent i'm still saying see what you can get oh yeah why not you're a single guy go down and get get a little and you said uh you had something yeah i say it said uh caricaturist oh yeah that's right many many different faces of dealer's choice uh what's that i don't know why don't you go to the casino yeah go to the casino yeah try to triple it why not get as many characters as i want i'm not joking go to the casino let it ride on whatever red or black and what is that is that like just go to the craps you can go to crap or even you go to roulette and just put it on red

and say commit commit to uh you're right it's roulette commit three times to betting red three times in a row and just keep all the winnings on red and see what happens. It's free money anyway. Yeah, that's true. You could turn it into $400. Yeah. Oh, do you think? Yeah, well, 50. Your first one's 50, so you get 100. Yeah. Then 100 times 2 is 200.

Yeah, 400. Is that how it works in real life? You double your money? You'll double it. On red, you'll double. Yeah. Two to one. It's either red or black. Yeah. Pretty good suggestions all around, guys. Yeah. Pretty good suggestions. Mine's the best'll double. Yeah. Two to one. It's either red or black.

Yeah. Pretty good suggestions all around, guys. Yeah. Pretty good suggestions. Mine's the best, though. Yeah. Yeah. Thanks.

Yeah. And when I mean yours, I mean the two of you together. What the heck do you mean? Oh, come on now. What the heck do you mean there? It's a pretty sweet deal. It was a sweet deal. Jerry Lundegard.

Oh, guys. We are nihilists. Yeah. There you go. All right. Who We are nihilists. Yeah, there you go. Who's the nihilist around here? All right. David, you know what? One of my very first jokes on stage, actually probably was my first joke, was an impression of Jerry Lundegard if he was God.

Can you imagine that? And I'm not saying I'm not doing it. he was God. Can you imagine that? Would it sound a little something like this? I'm not doing it. I'm saying, can you imagine that was the premise? Who would know who Jerry Lundegaard is in the first place? But this, to me... This is not true. This is absolutely true. Is it really?

This is my very first time on stage with Jerry Lundegaard as God. Yeah. From the Old Testament. Would sound a little something.'m not gonna do it but that was i don't i can't even really remember it that was my first joke and i thought that this will this will be great everyone knows jerry lundegaard do it now it would go something like graham's nickname is the crowbar trying to get it in it was something like well how would you do it

no it was something like oh no you know what it was it wasn't God it was Jerry Lindergarten as Adam in the Garden of Eden that's what it was and it was negotiating with God

and it was what the heck do you mean here Eve's my wife God no no and it was essentially that that's do you mean here? Eve's my wife, God. No, no. And it was essentially that. That's really good. It wasn't. And people just staring at me. Do you know what a finder's fee is back then?

Did I know then? I still don't know now. Yeah, a finder's fee back then was one rib. Pretty good. Fact. As good a joke as you're gonna hear anywhere. Yeah. I would say. Oh, no, I'm serious. Guys, we've had a lot of fun here today but the fun's not gonna stop now it's time for overheard yay overheard overheards things that you may have

overheard when you're walking around now before we move on to overheards it's time for my favorite segment on a show on a show any show now're just going to do segments from other shows. Of all shows. We're going to do a top ten list from David Letterman. Today's topic is top ten messiahs. Yeah. No, my favorite segment on this show, a segment called Fanta Tweets. It's a real fan favorite. The way this works is the Fanta Corporation, uh they make juices but they make them into pops they do this really great pop cleanse yeah they do a great pop cleanse um and uh they have this

terrible twitter account at fanta fun where none of the tweets make sense most of them have nothing to do with fanta they all have a hashtag and I name the hashtag and you and Graham, John, have to guess what the tweet is. Okay, you're going to name the hashtag and we guess what the tweet is. From the good folks at Fanta. And that's all going to start right now. But Dave, wait.

Before you do that, it's time for my favorite segment. A segment, actually, that was birthed the last time John Doerr was on the show if i'm not mistaken it was the very first bit of hulk hogan news in a segment we call hulk hogan news it's a hulk hogan news it's a hulk hogan news it's a hulk hogan news hulk news um yeah the uh i think now what is this segment about? It's about Hulk Hogan. Who is that?

He is a prime minister of a small country. Okay. WrestleMania. In his head. WrestleMania. Yep. Turns out that Hulk Hogan, this past week, has been making appearances all over the UK. And the Brits can't get enough of him.

They love his brash wrestling style. Now, question, what is he doing in the UK? Is he promoting something? Yeah, he's promoting a wrestling corporation he's a part of called TNA Wrestling. Oh, okay. Yeah, I knew that. Okay. So he's over there.

People love him. He was on a show where celebrities make football game predictions of what the scores are going to be. Is football the soccer football? Footy. Okay. British football. Soccer, man. So these are just some of the scores that he predicted as ranked against a guy who does this as a living.

Okay. So Tottenham versus Newcastle. That's Tottenham Hotspur versus the Newcastle Loggers. There you go. This professional, Laro is his last name, said that it will be tied 1-1. Hulk says 3-0. So I think he's basing this on nothing.

Yeah. I guarantee you he is. Now, do we have the actual results of those games? No, they haven't been played yet. Okay. Swansea versus QPR. Laro says 1-2. Hulk says 1-2.

Did he hear the other guy's answer? Who went first is my question. I think maybe Laro went first. Yeah, I agree with him. And then, finally, my favorite score is Chelsea versus Wigan. Laro says 2-0. Hulk says 40-1. No, he didn't.

He got silly. He got silly. Yeah. He wasn't taking it seriously, and I don't approve of that. That doesn't matter. He'll body slam you. That's why I would never tell it to his face. But I'll say it right now on the podcast. You're sillyulk he's pretty you're a silly hulk so that was silly

hulk news silly now it's time for fanta tweets uh now what these are there's tweets from fanta yeah i will give you a hashtag i'll even give you a little bit of detail. Sometimes. Maybe a clue. Yep. And you have to guess what FantaFun tweeted. This is from the 20th of October of last year. The hashtag is done and done. Oh. Dumb and dumberer. Two.

Hashtag done and done. Keep in mind, this is Fanta. Don't write. I don't think I understand. Yeah. I don't think I understand the game. If that was your response. You're trying to guess what the tweet was.

Yeah. Based on the hashtag. But okay. So done and done. I've played this game before. Okay. I know that done and done doesn't necessarily mean anything. It doesn't have anything to do with Fanta usually.

So we just, but this is Fanta. Yeah. And they're saying done and done is a hashtag. Okay. Fanta on your crotch. Done and done. I think the tweet would be big batch, big batch delivered. Yeah. Big Batch. Big Batch delivered. The correct tweet was,

Retweet if you've picked up and carved pumpkins. Done and done and done. Tell them about my face. I don't know what's going on. John just made a really confused face. The next tweet is, Ooh, this one is Fanta related. Okay.

And it actually has two hashtags Maybe the first time ever In the history of this game Hashtag drink Fanta Hashtag not foliage Hashtag drink Fanta So two hashtags? Hashtag not foliage

And this is from So it's not holiday themed. Right. It's probably, someone probably posted a news. Oh, you know what? It might be holiday. It might be seasonal because it's from the 11th of October. Valentine's Day.

Okay. Drink Fanta, not foliage. Is that right? Oh, yeah. I thought that was your guess. Yeah. Drink Fanta, not foliage. Is that right? Oh, yeah. I thought that was your guess. Yeah. Drink Fanta, not foliage. Pound.

Hashtag. Yeah, that is going to be my guess. Why do I keep saying pound? I can't... Because you're... Instead of what? What did you just say? Hashtag.

Hashtag. Oh, pound. Yeah. Wow. Pound. Yeah. Yeah. I think the tweet is, man drinks Christmas tree, goes to hospital.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Because that happened. Am I trying to be too sensible? No. I think you are. Nothing makes sense. Yeah.

It's all crazy in the Fantiverse. Okay. Well, then I'm going to have a little bit more fun with it. But Graham, why don't you give this one a go? Oh, I did already. Yeah. His was drink Fanta, not foliage. Hashtag drink Fanta. Hashtag not foliage.

The real tweet. If you see a Fanta colored leaf, resist the urge to lick. I was absolutely correct then in my guess. What is a Fanta? Like an orange leaf? I guess. They have a myriad of colors. That's true.

If you see a Fanta colored leaf. But I think maybe because of the trees changing color, especially the leaves. I'm mad. I'm mad at these tweets. Well, when a young man's love turns to rust. But I really want to meet the person who wrote that tweet. Me too. And talk to them in depth.

Hashtag Trendysaurus. Trendysaurus. Trendysaurus. Oh, something like getting boned. Something like that. Right? Like bones? Trendysaurus. Dinosaur pun.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fossils. Dinosaur pun. Hashtag Trendysaurus. Trendysaurus trendysaurus oh fan creationist

okay that's it creationist creationist that's it hashtag trendysaurus the real answer was retweet if you think cats are so last year. I don't like this game. I don't get the Saurus part. No, of course not.

Oh, yeah, that's right. Remember how terrible it was? Yeah, that's right. Okay, I have a different approach to answering. Go ahead. Okay. Do you have another one? Hashtag choices, choices, choices.

Okay, I know the tweet. Where I'm doing my shopping. Choices, choices, choices. Okay. I know the tweet. Where I'm doing my shopping. Choices, choices, choices. That's the hashtag. The tweet is, towels on the ground. Better put it on the rack. Am I right? No, the correct answer from the Fanta Corporation.

Yes. What should we call it? Fall or autumn? Oh. But that's only two choices. That hashtag was mislead. Well, this has been the final installment of Fanta Tweets. I think Fanta Tweets could exist a little longer, but I don't know about guessing the tweet.

It's hard. The real Fanta Menace. Oh, that could be a good hashtag. Oh, yeah. Can you submit that to me? Yeah. Phantom menace? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

How about this is, how about daughter died hashtag infanticide? That's a little bit better. Mm-hmm. Uh-huh. Yeah. North Korea. Now, David. Yeah.

I want to talk to you a little bit about your life. I've been invited back into your home to do a podcast. I don't like it when you focus on me. Okay. I got to say, the moment you said my name, my hackles went up. Now, David, I want to talk to you. I'm immediately defensive. Why?

Because you're not mean to Graham. But I'm not mean to you. You're not mean to me. But you're picking mean to you. You're not mean to me. Right. But you're picking on me a little bit. You enjoy it, don't you? I don't pick on you, David. I only repeat what you've said.

You hate the dog your dog's in. You've threatened its life. In your delirious state, which you didn't hear, but I mentioned you're in a delirious... Graham mentioned you were in an Eddie Murphy delirious state, meaning you're wearing your red leathers, abusing the dog. Norton. No, I was going to say, you know, the house has been renovated. It looks nice.

You and Abby have really moved. Now, when I mention Abby, you don't like it either, right? That bothers me. Now, no, but really, I'm happy for you. I'm very proud. I don't know where this is going. You've created a lovely home here for you and Abby and Grandpa and a dog you hate. But what's the next step?

There's a lot of room here. I know you're married now. I notice, and, you know, Graham did mention, too, and I'm not throwing you under the bus. I'm just saying you did mention, you know, there's some empty rooms here that could be filled with little bundles of joy. Little Davids. I was saying it in a hopeful way. You were. And I was saying there's also the possibility.

Graham was suggesting there could be a room that could be turned into a nursery. And I said, or it could be the miscarriage suite. So either way, there's going to be tears coming out of that room. Now, why did you feel like that? Because it's a possibility. That's what I'm saying. I'm reminding people that it is a possibility. So don't get all excited about the first one.

Now, maybe don't paint the room. Now, Dave, no, my question is simply, are you going to have a child? Not anytime soon. But the plan is to have a child. Eventually. Yeah. We're not actively banging. Would you make the kid call Grandpa Uncle Grandpa?

Oh, boy. Would you make the kid call Grandpa Uncle Grandpa? Oh, boy. I've thought about, like, when we have kids, and Grandpa's probably not going to be around for the kid to talk to it too long. Grandpa will be dead. Grandpa's nine now, and, you know, if you do the math, it's just, well, he's not quite nine. He'll be nine in four or five years. But he, no, he'll be nine in four or five years. But he... No, he'll be nine in May.

If you do the math, I will have murdered him by the time my child is born. He will be incinerated. I will have accidentally stepped and drowned him. Have you seen that sad documentary on HBO about the dogs? Do you know what I'm talking about? No. Okay. This is not going to go anywhere good.

We don't like sad documentaries about dogs. It's unbelievably sad. As a dog lover. I don't want to get bummed out by this thing. But people should be reminded. Why? Just a reminder to the listeners. You're going to die one day. Everyone you know is going to die.

Everyone's going to be dead. The day you were born, you started dying. There's no point to anything. And it's happening in a few years when the rapture comes. You're going to be like, where'd Kirk Cameron go? He's always the first to leave. The only one to leave. Except in those movies.

That's right. First to show up, last to leave in those movies. Guys, let's get down to overheard business. Okay. We've been fucking around here. Yeah, enough fucking around. Why did you bring up the bit? The who let the dogs out?

Yeah, I mean, of all the bits you should have brought up, that's the thing. What do you mean, a bit? There's no bit. We were in conversation. I spontaneously mentioned a documentary. I was going to talk to Dave about it. You were going to move us on overheards. Why did you bring this back up, you dumb idiot?

And I was going to... Don't call me a dog. Guys, we're getting rude with each other and i hate that yeah we're talking i was gonna talk to david about uh the possibility of having children he's building a home and the next natural step and i want you to know i want you to know a lot of responsibility okay comes along with having children okay john knows well i've seen it i've seen it you've been around it so next time we're doing podcasts you could have children out there. You could have Abby mad breastfeeding these triplets.

You're having triplets problems. Madly breastfeeding. Madly breastfeeding. Okay, for real. Let's move on to overheards. Okay, but that's why I brought it up. If I have kids, they're going to be on an all-juice diet. There's going to be the most expensive babies in the world.

The foulest smelling bowel movements you've ever heard. Now, see, when you just derailed us off over herds, I didn't call you a dumb idiot. Yeah, I noticed that, Graham. And then, I adore you! I was talking to Graham. Yeah, but you did say, but you like me. I thought you were implying I didn't. No, I was implying

that I don't like him. God, we sound like a family. Don't imply it, I mean, it's known. Can I just say something, guys? You've got a great thing going on. Don't ruin it. With this episode? Now, rate this episode. Six out of five. Ah, there you go.

Lies in your eyes, ants in your pants. We like to start Overheards with the guest. John, will you lead the charge? Bad idea. I totally forgot about Overheards, and I should have been listening this week. But let me think of one. Well, we can start with Dave. Start with Dave.

Yeah, yeah. My overheard takes place at Safeway. It's a grocery store, supermarket, and it was a very busy Sunday, last Sunday. It was Super Bowl Sunday, as a matter of fact. Busy Sunday. Go Rams. It was Super Bowl Sunday, as a matter of fact. Busy Sunday. Go Rams. Big day for toilets. Yep.

Flushing. And domestic violence. Is it really? I think so. Yeah, that's what I found. I think in the United States, it's like domestic violence. If there's a dark way to bring it, John's going to bring it up. Yeah, yeah.

That's your specialty today. But what's dark about domestic violence? That's a good question. But what's dark about domestic violence? That's a good question. It's domestic violence. We're keeping the violence in the home, not out in the streets, Vancouver. Stop lighting shit on fire. Yeah, that's true. We domesticated the...

Our bad. We tamed the violence. Yeah. So it's Super Bowl Sunday. That happened after the BC Lions lost, right? Yeah, yeah. People cared a lot about Canadian football. Yeah. Yeah. That's how much you know.

It's like BC Lions lose, no one cares. Canucks lose. Shoot your wife in the face. Nobody shot their wife in the face. I'm pretty sure it happened. I'm pretty sure I read that story. That there was a shooting involving a face, a gun, and a wife. You're at Safeway Supermarket.

What did you overhear? This is overheard we're getting back into overheard I was I was waiting in line and then

as you do because you are patient and you follow the laws of society well that plays into it the laws of society great there's a cashier

who opened up a brand new register and he was like okay new new register over here you you the first people

from these two registers you can come get in line here first. I like that. He's like cherry picking who gets to come into line. And this other guy, the guy who was in front of me in line, he's this, I would say, 75-year-old Filipino guy, like 5'2", very not imposing. And he starts going into the line and the cashier is like no no I'm sorry these people have to be first and so the guy shrugs his shoulders

and gets back in line can I say one thing I'm getting anxiety I am getting anxiety from this story this guy shrugs his shoulders gets back in line where he was and the cashier keeps talking he's like yeah I'm sorry these people were ahead of you He just gets back in line where he was, and the cashier keeps talking. He's like, yeah, I'm sorry.

These people were ahead of you, so I'm just going to let them be first. And the guy says, I didn't say anything. He says, I didn't say anything. And then the cashier is like, yeah, it's more fair this way. And then this little tiny old Filipino man says, you better stop yapping. Oh, the best overheard ever. And the cashier just goes,

have a nice day. Huh? I don't, I don't know if it was like that, like he had very limited English. So he knows yapping is a word for talking, or if it was like in the threatening way that anyone using the word yapping, what would it say? That's true.

You need to stop yapping. That's a guy yapping would have said. That's true. You need to stop yapping. That's a great one. That's a guy trying to start a fight. That's beautiful. And those kind of grocery store moments are just – I like when there's a little bit of frustration and words are exchanged, but then you're forced to wait in line. Because now you've got this steaming, what's going to happen?

Is it done? Is it not? And will cooler heads prevail? Or, yeah. Oh, I love it. Yeesh steaming, what's going to happen? Is it done? Is it not? And will cooler heads prevail? Yeah. Oh, I love it. Yeesh. Yeah, it's beautiful. That's a beautiful over.

And then what? Did he have to help that guy? No, no, no. That guy was still in line with me. That guy wouldn't condescend. What was he buying? What was in his... Oh, Filipino stuff.

Oh, sure. Yeah. Noodles? Yeah. Yeah? Yeah. No, I don't know what he was buying. Noodles and what else did they...

Like if he just had like a cow's heart. Like that was it. That would be racist. I think it's beef tripe and eclairs. That's traditional Filipino food? Traditional Filipino diet is beef tripe eclairs. So you buy the eclairs and the beef tripe. Together?

Or that's dinner and dessert? You wrap an eclair in a beef tripe. Yep. Yep. Nope. You wrap it in a it up that's a beautiful overheard feel the tension anxiety it's great no it is it's beautiful yeah shut up david you think it's sarcasm you've got a lot you you've changed gears a lot yeah Yeah. Into like... Well, you know, life has got different speed limits. Who said that? Paul Nietzsche? Paul Nietzsche said, when farting hurts, see a doctor.

And we'll never forget that. Hey, Greg. Yeah? Greg. You haven't overheard. Mine is an overseen. And I don't know if this is like a... Like if it's a common expression and i just don't know that it

exists i saw a guy wearing a shirt and on the front it said uh diamonds are nice and so are pearls yeah i was like well that can't be the end of that phrase like that's not a there's no clever twist on it and on the back it said but, but nothing beats Pittsburgh girls. So what's that about? Maybe those are song lyrics. Is that a lyric from a song? Yeah. Oh, really? Diamonds are great and so are pearls, but nothing beats.

Say it with me. Pittsburgh girls. Red and yellow. Black and yellow. Black and yellow. Red and yellow. Red and yellow. Red and yellow.

Busted ketchup. Bubble bees. They're black and yellow, too. So neither of you have ever heard that phrase before? No, no, no, no. It's got to be a song there. Go ahead. Did I ever tell you about the time I was at Safeway?

Same Safeway. And there was a guy with a... The Filipino guy? Because you told us minutes ago, this is the story. No, a guy on the back of his shirt it said north american push pussy crushers that's the npc i gotta start wearing i gotta start wearing clothing writing on it's way too fun yeah north american pussy crush especially when you forget when you forget you're wearing it and you're like oh why is everyone looking at me weird oh yeah i forgot

like if i ever shave my beard and have a mustache for a day, I'm like, oh, why'd that lady move her child to the other side? Yeah. Yeah. Why am I wearing aviators all day? But pussy crushers is correct. Crushers. Yeah. He just came from practice.

Yeah. Yeah. Women love it. They don't have time to change. When we were, how old was I? Probably like 25 years old. Well out of, obviously well out of high school at this point. Your high school roommate.

Used to play basketball a lot in high school. A lot. And loved the sport. And so I remember one year, our friend Warren decided we're going to get a whole bunch of people together and enter the Ottawa University Summer Basketball League. Can I ask you, is this year overheard? It's not. No, but if I'm out of turn i won't do it but it relates sort of to yeah i was just wondering because you're two pussy crushers

in a sense because and i'll be quick about this so anyway essentially all these guys who knew each other in high school we decided we're going to enter the ottawa u basketball summer league but that league is usually just people are playing university ball and they've come home for the summer and they need to really they've got to play intense sessions of basketball like you were talking you know they're like refs there are scoreboards or there's uh standings it's intense so anyway we have to give our team name everyone is named like the hawks the eagles the spartans whatever it is and now warren decides to just name our team yeah you gotta remember we're the team that shows up with usually six players because five other guys

didn't want to come. Most of us are smokers. We drank. We're not the team. We're not the team to beat. Or we are the team to beat. So anyway, long story really short,

of course we used to have the Ottawa Rough Riders in town. The Canadian football team. One of two Rough Riders in the league. Correct. Who are coming back. Oh, is that right? Are they really?

Yeah, they are. 2014. Who cares? I know. Who gives a shit? But anyway, so Warren, and you've got to remember, these names appear on the stat sheet every single week, posted everywhere around Ottawa U with the stats, et cetera. And we're at the very bottom because we're terrible,

we were the Ottawa Muff Riders. That was our team. And every single week, Spartans versus Muff Riders. Muff Riders show up, five guys, no subs. We're tired. Smoking at halftime. It's a 50-point difference. It's a complete waste of everyone's time.

The Ottawa Muff Riders. But my overheard would be this. Here we go. So overheard would be... a 50 point difference it's a complete waste of everyone's time yeah no ottawa muff riders but my overheard would be this here we go so overheard uh would be um graham did you ever do like an intramural sport what's the last like competitive or semi-competitive sport you did uh i don't know like track and field doesn't count right like intramurals is basketball or volleyball or something or like yeah yeah well but but track and field would't count, right? Like, intramurals is basketball or volleyball or something like that. Yeah, yeah. But track and field would count. I mean, is that something that you did in high school?

When's the last time you did something where someone kept score? Was it high school? Yeah. I mean, you know. What was your event, though, in track and field? Oh, 100 yard or 200 yard. What? Yeah.

100 yard what? Saunter. Yeah. Oh, you were a saunterer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, great yeah 100 yard what uh saunter yeah oh you were a saunterer yeah yeah yeah oh great 100 yard jazz it was just the jazz yeah everyone was on a scooter yeah i used to take part in the gallop the gallop yeah yeah i was yeah i did dressage there was no but there was never any like there wasn't like a thousand meter it like, a finish line. It was just the gallop. Yeah. You just all get out there. Everybody just get out there.

Everybody gets there. There were judges, basically, artistic style. Dave, did you do intramurals? Oh, yeah. In high school, I, well, I played soccer my whole life until, like, I was 17. And no one could make me anymore. I was at 17. They're like they're like it's your choice yeah like i choose no i guess 18 um and then i in university i played a bit of ultimate frizz uh and then i've played you know casual soccer occasionally sure yeah casual

soccer what's uh i played hockey growing up until 12. Until I was 12. That's the age. And then they started having practices at 5 in the morning. And I was like, nope, nope, I'm done. But I was dedicated to basketball. I would go anywhere at 5 in the morning for basketball. It was the only sport.

It was weird because it was right at the age when you're a kid and you start wanting to sleep in as an adolescent. That's when they made it impossible to wake up. That's when you start making choices. Choices, choices, choices. That's a hashtag from Phantom. So I was like, I want to start getting women pregnant. That was the choice I had. Yeah, but you don't now.

Nope. You don't now. But that's fine. We're going to give it a bit of time. We'll check in with you a little bit later on the Dave and Abby children update. I started playing, no, basketball was the sport, but I played football for one year in high school.

Worst decision of my life. That seems really funny. It was the worst. Oh, it was awful. I don't even know how you play football out here. I don't think, I don't know if they have teams. Oh, really? They have like a championship and it's always the same three teams, which is a weird game with three teams.

Very weird. Vancouver, it's the Vancouver Tech Pussy Crushers versus the- The Pussy Crushers, yeah. Capilano M filipino uh tripe truffles no no we're not filipino yappers filipino yappers yeah oh yeah okay so my overheard and this is going back and i have it recorded actually it's lynn my girlfriend was talking last time you played a recording we got some complaints i know you got complaints from who

from people with no nothing what do we mean you got complaints you know we got i know you got but tell me again what do you mean you got complaints well you did a bit yeah the miscarriage yeah yeah all right i pretended to call my sister it was a fake phone call yeah and then she was pregnant and then she and the phone call was that she had a miscarriage. Yeah. And people said, oh, I didn't think that was funny. Yeah, well, fine. I don't think you should have him back on.

And we didn't. Yeah, you did. You had me back twice since then. I know, but we didn't publish those episodes. Yeah, you did. We just do this for your benefit. That would be amazing. But I have no super real desire, even though I do enjoy myself when I'm here, but you still go out of your way to think, we should do this for John.

This isn't even Dave's house. It's just a semi-truck with a set in it. Guys, I'm on acid right now, so don't listen. We're going to pull off masks and we'll be dogs. Please don't do that. That would be my favorite thing ever, if you pulled it off and you're dogs. Okay, you're over here. No, but it has nothing to do with that.

But those people can genuinely go to hell. No, but I really do mean that. If there is a hell and there isn't, which is unfortunate for people who don't like jokes like that. Go meet your messiah. No, but this is actually real. I actually don't even have to. Paul Nietzsche. I actually don't even have to.

Paul Nietzsche said that. I don't have to play this. I'll just tell you. But my girlfriend, Lynn, will sometimes talk in her sleep. And when she gets going, it's the best. Oh, you can play it. Okay. Well, then I will.

But I feel like you're... Well, that's why I won't play it. It's totally real. I feel like you're a big phony. Because it's literally on your phone. Like, you're a guy who's into phones. You'll see that it's not phony. Now I feel like it's...

But now we've created this thing where now the expectations are too high we've created i've got more lynn sleeping i've got who labels their uh recordings who wouldn't how would you how would you have just have them labeled by time lynn still snoring lynn snoring i know but i don't listen to them i don't go back and listen to things more than one oh but i always feel like i'm going to use it for something and you're not wrong okay here we go i don't know why i'm being attacked okay more lynn sleeping this might be it the only problem is you know what i'll do i'll tell you what i'll do instead of playing it i'll tell you what it is and then if i can find it great um so anyway uh lynn starts talking in her sleep and then of course i try and encourage it a little bit and i'll just kind of quietly say

what was that so anyway lynn at one point said, Helen Harley got the dog. Or was it Helen Harley? Helen Harley. Something about the dog. Anyway, Helen Harley was dog sitting. And that was it. But it wasn't dog sitting. It was like killed the dog or the dog got away.

I can't remember what it was. But Helen Harley. And I just kept asking questions. Anyway, she slowly wakes up. And I was like, what were you talking't remember what it was but helen harley and i just kept asking a question anyway she slowly wakes up and i was like what were you talking about and it was hallie berry uh had gotten a new dog she said helen harley so that's my overheard is uh helen harley uh and oh fuck i gotta play it now because i can't remember what it was steve you got me all messed up and that was your plan from the beginning okay hold on a second this has been like i think it's a three-year plan what are you doing what are you doing on the railroad

okay you don't have to answer well was that it no that wasn't it oh here it is helen harley that was completely different a lot of sleep a lot of talking goes on in the sleep hold on a second Was that it? No, that wasn't it. Oh, here it is. Helen Hartley. That was a completely different one. A lot of talking goes on in the sleep. Hold on a second. Hold on a second. This might be it. Do you have any dead air?

I don't know if it's cute. I'm sorry. Can you cut it out? Nope. I think... Pretty creepy. Helen Hartley Babysitting Helen Harley's Babysitting is

Sorry I'm sorry Not Helen Harley But that Pretty black lady Okay I can't remember What else happens So Helen Harley

Was babysitting Yeah Not Helen Harley That that pretty black lady. Pam Grier. Then I finally got out of her. Halle Berry, which made me laugh endlessly. She's had classics. There was one where she genuinely said,

the bird got a haircut. And that is my favorite of all time. The bird got a haircut. Now, in addition to overheards that we have, you also do fan ones. We also do fan ones. So if you have a fan, we want you to talk through it, like you're Darth Vader,

and send that to us. You can send it in to stoppodcastyourself at gmail.com This first one is a special John Doerr overseen. What? Comes from Nick B in San Francisco.

My wife and I were at Cobb's Comedy Club in San Francisco on Friday for a Sketchfest edition of Setlist. I don't know what Setlist is. Setlist is a great show. Can I tell you what it is real quick? Please. It is a show you guys would I think you'd love it. It is so fun to do. Created by Troy Conrad and Paul Provenza

and you don't know what jokes you're doing until the second they appear on the screen behind you. So the audience sees the premise as you're seeing the premise of the comic. Are they jokes of yours? No, no, no, no. They're premises they come up with. You improvise a joke. But the premises are really great. Like they'll come up with things that are completely – like there's no – it's not like just oranges.

Talk about oranges. with things that are completely... It's not like just oranges. Talk about oranges. It's like zombie apocalypse equals Hitler's mustache. They're very absurd and you can have a lot of fun with it. That's Set List.

There was a nice couple, somewhat older than most of the crowd, two seats in front of us. I randomly joked, they must be John Doerr's parents. Lo and behold, right before the show, John Doerr himself came over, greeted them with a warm familiarity, and gave them a hug. Was it your parents? Yeah, my parents were there.

Okay. Later in the show, John Doerr dug himself out of a comedic premise by drinking and painfully regurgitating half a bottle of ketchup. Oh my god. Twice all over the stage. I don't want this happening right now. And into the audience suggestion box in front in front of his parents completely true there you go and that was one of my worst experiences with setlist after i just promoted it as so fun that was one of the worst experiences where i was having so much trouble where'd you get the bottle of ketchup did you bring that with

you that no uh i got it from an audience member earlier on in the set i brought an audience member That was one of the worst experiences where I was having so much trouble. Where did you get the bottle of ketchup? Did you bring that with you? No, I got it from an audience member. Earlier on in the set, I brought an audience member on stage. I'm really good at that show. I don't need any help at all or don't use any assistance. But that's correct. Yeah, my parents were there. And then, yeah, that's great.

So did they specifically send that in to stop podcasting yourself as an overheard? As an overseen, yeah. Overseen overheard. Okay. And you were on? Interesting. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, that's great.

And good to know. Good to know. Yeah, because that did happen in, yeah. This next one. I like how they think, sorry, that I dug myself out. That's what saved you? Oh, and it didn't save me. But thank you for reporting it as I you in there i dug myself out yeah yeah

like you won that was a win oh got nothing better start drinking something something that you don't normally drink that's up in the audience suggestion box classic classic you know as a nichi said that oh yeah paul nichi go. This next one comes from Matthew D. from Seattle. I was in a Trader Joe's, and I overheard a woman on her cell phone say, don't worry about it. I'll bring my deck of tarot cards over, and we'll figure it out. Right? Yeah.

Yeah. My toilet's overflowing. Have you ever- Call the plumber. Yep. No, they only clean toilets. Wow. Have you ever gone to a psychic or anything i i i well

i have but not genuinely yeah i've been to a psychic fair and i got a palm read and stuff how right were they because they i feel like people can just read you by your face and then they're just faking it yeah i sat down they said you're an idiot and i was like we went to uh in new york city we went to a psychic for fun. And yeah, whatever. I mean, people only go for fun, I think. No. Oh, no.

I think there are people who are almost dependent. There's a psychic around the corner from where I live, like a full time. Right. Oh, they have like a light flashing. Light in the window. There's a psychic up in Lake Arrowhead. If you guys come up for the podcast, the High Evaluation podcast, we'll go to the psychic. There's a psychic above the 7-Eleven in the tiniest community.

7-Evaluation. 7-Evaluation. That's the U2 song. Yeah. John, you don't have to say everything that comes into your head. Okay. That was me, by the way, everyone. Don't think that was Dave doing an impression of me.

He wouldn't put time in. Okay. So, um... So... Was that you, John, doing an impression? Okay. Oh, no, don't. David.

That's crushing me. David, don't, please. Come on. Yeah, there's a second, so come up for the high elevation. But there's one right around the corner from Graham. You don't got to leave no home. Yeah, there's a psychic. So come up for the high elevation. But there's one right around the corner from Graham. You don't got to leave no home. Yeah, I can just go across the street. Do you see people going in?

No. Yeah, how do psychics get enough business? Like a psychic, what did it cost when you saw a psychic? It was expensive. It was like, but we decided, what the hell? It was like, it was almost as much as your juice. I think it was almost as much as your juice. I think it was almost as much as your juice. No.

It was about $100 for both of us. Really? Oh, for both of you. I think so. So if I just went in solo. We go into this psychic's home, and they're all over Manhattan, right? And so we go into this place, and you realize it's a lady's house. She does the reading in the hallway.

Her kids are in the apartment. Making ghost noises. That would be great. If they employed the kids to participate somehow. Or they're online Googling and researching what's in that name.

Yeah, exactly. That would work. Earpiece. But like, don't mind me wearing my headset. Yeah, she was a crazy wig. Cord running under the door.

Yeah, you hear typing. No, yeah, about a hundred bucks, I think. Yeah, worth it. This last one comes from Matthew S. I was using an ATM and a guy behind me was waiting and talking on his phone and created my new favorite saying.

Well, you know the old saying, one bad apple fucks up all your apples. Right? It's a good one. It's a beauty. And it does. Yeah. That's a Jackson 5 song. Nope. What? It's Osm one. It's a beauty. And it does, yeah. That's a Jackson 5 song. Nope.

What? Osmond's. Oh, right. Yeah. Oh, yeah. No idea. One bad apple don't spoil the whole bunch, girl. Give me one more chance before you give up on love.

It was in a Nike commercial with Matt Sundin. Are you doing seriousness? I'm doing... Who could make that up so fast? That's true. The who let the dogs out. In addition to overheards that are written in, we also accept phoned-in overheards.

So if you want to phone us with your overheards, we're not going to stand in your way. 206-339-8328. That's the number. I'd like to see you stand in the way of a phone call. How would you even attempt that? The way that Dave just patted John on the hand was endearing. He said, that's the number.

Three times he executed the last three syllables by tapping me on the hand slash knee. So let's listen to these goddamn folks. Here they come. Hello, Stop Podcasting Yourself. This is Rob in San Diego calling in with an overseen slash overread. I recently found an iPod on the sidewalk, and when I took it home to erase everything on it and claim it as my own, I overread several interesting things.

I learned, first of all, that it was Daryl's iPod, and that Daryl was a bit of a creep. The contents of the iPod included two music playlists. That was all the music playlists. They were Rap and R&B, which contained rap and R&B songs, and a playlist called Songs for Sex, which also contained rap and R&B. And then on the data portion of it, there were a six-volume series of books entitled How to Interpret Body Language

for Seduction. And then there was also the entire fifth season of Entourage. Man, oh man, that read like an episode of Law and Order or something like that. Daryl's a creep. What a fucking asshole.

Daryl's the guy who found the phone, right? Daryl's the guy who owned the phone. The other guy's the creep Daryl's the guy who found the phone No Daryl's the guy Oh Daryl's the guy who owned the phone But the other guy The other guy's the asshole Yeah yeah Completely Yeah Why don't you try and track down Daryl

I remember losing my iPhone So frustrated It was an iPod right You have the phone number You have contact info I think it was an iPod It was an iPod Either or

Oh iPod Yeah you don't necessarily have the phone info But you know you go You go to the Entourage fan site you go to lost and found there has to be some sort of registration with an eye an ipod as well no i mean all your information is coming off a computer i mean if i think if you tried hard you could you could uh you could find the owner yeah you take fifty dollars you go to the psychic say what are you getting off of this iphone but i guess i do have to slowly apologize. I thought it was an iPhone.

I wasn't listening right. I started hearing all these things. But at the same time, I don't know. He was a little too casual about the idea of I found this and I claimed it as my own. What I find is mine. Could you get those Entourage

episodes off of the iPod onto your computer and watch them? Yeah, I think so's i think it's a click and drag situation my friend it depends if they're from itunes if he paid for them from itunes then i think they they can only be played by the person who bought them but if they were illegal i don't buy things from itunes no i think i think you can play them once they're there i mean if you want to buy something you'd have to you know put your your account number i mean why would you delete it buy something new, you'd have to put your account number in. I mean, why would you delete it, right? It's entourage.

It's hilarious. Just keep it. It's a great show. Keep it. Yeah. What was that guy's name? Gerald. Ari.

Gerald Ari. Yep. Here's your next phone call. Hey, Dave and Graham and unbelievable guests. This is an overheard from my high school keyboarding class and there were two girls talking and i overheard one of them say okay well what you have to understand is that he came to your house with a rose so that either means that he's sweet and caring or he's a fucking weirdo i thought that was really great yeah that. That's adorable. Well, I think in high school, well, it could go either way.

But that's sort of your only move if you want to make a grand gesture. You've got six bucks. It works on The Bachelor. You're too cynical, though, if you can't see that as beautiful. Like in high school, that's just sweet. But unless he's really creepy. Well, true. But aren't all teenagers pretty creepy?

No, that's not the cool one. When I was in the eighth grade, can I tell you something that I wrote to a girl that I really liked? Oh, my God. Was he in eighth grade? No, it could have been eighth grade. Oh, no. Was it eighth grade? Anyway, it was either sixth, seventh, or eighth grade.

Anyway, I had a locker. No, but it was this girl, Cindy, who I was madly in love with. Anyway, you know the song. I don't know who wrote it originally, but the Beatles recorded You Make Me Dizzy, Miss Lizzy. I gave her a Valentine card that said, You Make Me Dizzy, Miss Cindy. No, but it was the most embarrassing thing

because then she showed all her friends, and then I remember just having to run. Anyway, yeah. You should have changed it to, you make me windy, Miss Cindy, and then farted. I probably did. I wasn't that clever, but I know I farted on girls in school. Deliberately. To show them that you like them?

Yeah. Probably inside, deep down but uh at the time it was for laughs man it was laughs yeah bro guys watch this watching here my friends i could never not even in adulthood i could never of course in adulthood it's assault i had uh no I had a little sister, and we used to tie her, hold her down, and fart in her face. Do you have a younger sister? I don't. Two younger brothers.

So we farted on each other all the time. There you go. Yeah, but when it's a cross-gender thing, it's even funnier. What's the old saying? You kick a grandfather down the stairs, the audience laughs. You kick a grandmother down the stairs, the comics laugh. Yeah. So, yeah, we used to... I don't think that's an expression.

Paul Nietzsche. I think someone has said it. I think someone's explained it. He's a little bit darker. Who knows? But yeah, no, we used to fart on my sister all the time. Here's your final overheard. Hey, guys. I just got final overheard. Hey, guys. I just kind of overheard. I'm not drunk.

I could be, but I'm not. I was at the grocery store today, and people were shopping and such, and they were looking at these two girls. They wanted goldfish. And I said, well, okay, yeah, you can get the cheddar kind. And the girl goes, I don't want those chives. They're not even fucking flavor blasted. They're not even flavor blasted?

Yeah, I didn't hear that. I think it was they're not even effing flavor blasted. Oh, wow. Is that as... The regular cheddar goldfish, they're not flavor blasted. They're not effing flavor blasted. That's like sandblasting, but... Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Where you just like really coat it. Yeah, it's when they're like, they blast them with flavor to give them kind of a distressed look like old jeans. Yeah. Like old jeans. And it was cheddar? Cheddar cheese? Yeah.

Did I miss something? Cheddar yogurt. Cheddar cheese? Yeah. Nope. Did I miss something? Cheddar yogurt. Cheddar yogurt? No, it was cheddar cheese flavored goldfish. Thank you. Okay. Cheddar cheese flavored goldfish. The little snack that smiles back.

I wanted a little assistance, and Dave couldn't even just give me a little bit of help. Until you bite their heads off. Dave had to. Yeah, so they're not even flavor blasted. Oh, now you made it sad. F-ing flavor blasted. There it is. It is sad when something's not F-ing flavor blasted.

John Doerr, thanks for being a guest on the show, man. Can I say something? You may. I think you're gonna. Dave. Yeah? Come on to the mic. Come on. Everyone hears you back off. they don't like that they want you present

they want you in their heads hi this is John in your left ear God do I have to Dave in your right grab in your mind's eye grab in the middle I just want to say i think it was nichi who said it first um i just want to say thank you for having me yep

and uh i was having a great time when i'm here it's nice to have you and it's always the craziest it's not the crazy no people always say they go, oh, and John Doerr's on. It just goes ass over tea kettle. Yeah, but people have to understand something. It's mostly Dave's fault. It's not true at all. John comes in with an agenda. He walked in with a newspaper.

That was the start. The original plan, though, was to bring a lot of gifts for Graham. You should save this. You should save this. You should save this for next episode. It's done. And really shitty gifts for Dave. Or maybe I will save it. Take that out.

Or now that you know, I'm going to do it anyway. But I might reverse it. Yeah, that's true. You'll never know. No, thanks, guys, for having me. Dave, don't kill the dog. And good luck with the kid. I'm glad that Abby's pregnant and things are going great. No, thanks guys for having me. Dave, don't kill the dog. And good luck with the kid. I'm glad that Abby's pregnant and things are going great.

Oh, she's not pregnant. What did you say earlier? You said you're not having children yet. He didn't say anything. I thought he said we're well on our way. Or maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I got that completely wrong. I think you made up a lot of that.

Maybe I did. Who knows? That was a lot of John Doerr cookery. Who knows? Who knows? But David, don't rest your head on the microphone. People can hear it. Dave, anything to plug?

You and I recently appeared on an episode of Mike Kaplan's podcast. That's M-Y-Q Kaplan with a K. Everything's spelled properly except Mike. Except Mike, yes. His podcast, Hang Out With Me. Two episodes of that. A 45-minute episode and a 10-minute episode. That's how we operate.

Episode 38 of that show. Check it out on your computer. And Dave and I, we were going to go to... We were working on... This is a weird place to put this plug, because no one's still listening. Oh, that's true. So how do I...

Ah, you can do it anyway, and we'll... What do you mean no one's listening at this point? Why would people not be listening to this? Because they just... Because it's the plugs, maybe? Yeah. Oh, so people tune out at the plug. We'll make the plugs interesting.

Let's try something new with the plugs. Okay. I'll give you a little drum beat and talk about the plug. So people get, you know. That's Dave, so it's not me. I don't want people confusing that this is me. David, stop it. They're going to think it's me.

And that's not the way I play the fucking drums, bud. Go ahead. I'm not going to do it. Go ahead. I think you're right. People aren't going gonna listen to this um the puppetry of the penis looking down the barrel of a gun son of a gun son of a bitch

getting paid getting rich wooka wooka beasties what album uh no idea not a fan oh okay guys so we were gonna take paul's boutique oh a classic uh we're going to go to chicago but because of uh we because of immigration laws and weather windy city uh that it is uh we're not gonna go to chicago but in lieu of that uh it was suggested by uh the person that we were working with to go to chicago hey what if you guys did something like a google what is it google hangout yeah uh which we did for maximum fun back in november yeah so this we're gonna do a chicago centric one yeah. So if you're from Chicago and you want to Google Hangout with us, when do you want to do this? Well, Saturday, February...

A week from... So February 16th. February 16th. What time? 1 p.m. Western. 1 p.m. Pacific. Pacific. That's 3 p.m. Chicago time?

Mountain. Chicago? I might be wrong. Anyway, 1 p.m. Pacific, the 16th. Let's put the information for that in the Facebook group. Yes, absolutely. Why is there a mountain time, not a valley time? Am I right, guys?

Well, you're not wrong. And this has been Stop Podcasting Yourself. That's as good a place as any to end, right? You need to end it. If you want to get in touch with us, it's stoppodcastingyourself at gmail.com or 206-339-8328.

You didn't even let me get a plug-in. No, but this is what I'm talking about. This is an example. No, Dave, you've got to hear this. I didn't get a chance to do my plug plug i got nothing i'm just saying i should be i should be asked i should be i think you were uh no i wasn't i was not asked you you used your plug time to thank us yeah yeah uh no

but honestly do me a favor just stay safe in the world my plug plug. You know what my plug is? Be safe. Have fun. But you know what? Stick on the ice. Head up. And try not to drive off the road. And come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself. You're great. You're good. Thank you.