Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 26 - Dan Clark

Episode Date: August 25, 2008

Graham's brother Dan stops by to tell embarrassing bathtub stories from Graham's youth.  Not really, but recap Kid Rock's Olympic-sized Summer '08.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello, everybody. Hello. Hey, welcome to episode number 26, the first podcast that's been done in real time almost the entire summer. My name is Graham Clark, and with me, not as always, but as recently as today, back together again after a long two-month absence, very hilarious and wonderful, Mr. Dave Schoenkopf.

Hi! Hey, Dave! Here I am. You say this is our first one we've done in real time in a long time. Yeah, because we pre-recorded. Prior to that, we were doing all our shows in bullet time. In bullet time, that's right. And for those of you who aren't familiar with bullet time, wikipedia.com. And our guest today is actually my brother.

Right. Hailing from Calgary, Alberta. Musician, accountant, raconteur. I like to play up the accountant angle more. He's Dan Clark. Dan Clark, my brother. Welcome to the show. Thanks for having me.

Thanks for coming, buddy. Thanks for coming to sunny Vancouver. Yeah. Yeah,, my brother. Welcome to the show. Hi, Dan Clark. Thanks for having me. Thanks for coming, buddy. Thanks for coming to sunny Vancouver. Yeah, enjoying the sun. You're in town for some kind of wedding? It was a weeding. Oh, yes. Needed my help. Awesome. Shall we get to know us? Get to know us!

Get to know us. Alright, know us! Get to know us. Alright, well, it's been a long break. We're never going to be able to cover all the shenanigans that happened. I think we should effin' try. Yeah, well, I don't know how many shenanigans you had this summer. Let's start with the guest, because that's the way I like it. Alright. So we're getting to know me first?

Yes, please. How far back do I need to go? You don't need to go far at all. Just back to the weeding yesterday? Start with the weather. That's a great idea. Who said weather? He said weeding. He's going back to a previous joke. It's called callback, babe.

It's an industry term. Yeah, so it was my friend Ryan Austin ryan austin's wedding he was getting married to his longtime girlfriend as he likes to be called um how long have they been dating oh jeez i don't even know a couple years anyway near from university so and it was like a super you were saying like a super posh affair yeah that's the word it was very uh there may have been croquettes there might have been actually it was really fancy no no my wedding's gonna have croquet and karaoke oh they actually had they the it was a level of extravagance i hadn't even expected when we got there they had um a table with little envelopes on it and the envelopes

each had and uh the names of each of the guests of which there was probably 200 or so and on the inside of the envelope was a card in like that i think you're gonna say a key cash money there's a box a key and a clue but uh inside you take out the card and it's this the like the thickest weighted paper i've ever seen and it just had a number on it was just a number two and uh i took a number two on it grow up come on what is this honestly god damn it but that was that was the table number so each person had this envelope with their table number instead of a chart that would say, you know, you're setting a table to you. That sounds overly complicated.

It's kind of needlessly, yeah. Did old people get it? Old people are easily confused. Yeah. And they love weddings. And there was a generally kind of older crowd. Yeah. Not a lot of younger people.

Was there lots of dancing after the wedding? You betcha. Yeah. My friend took a video of me and I just oh man that's so boring yeah that video needs to be buried please don't post that online tell uh there's dan was telling me a story about his friend's wedding with the we're talking about like first dances and uh tell me your friend's first down what was the song they were they were dancing well i don't even know i wasn't even there patrick was at it um that's my other brother patrick other brother

patrick possible potential future podcast guest we'll see you're the uh you're the litmus test yeah let's see how this goes don't ruin it for him well it's i got the story secondhand, but it was at a wedding he was at earlier this year with a friend from university. And they were doing their first dance, you know, in kind of the typical first dance sort of number, slow music. And it was playing through the DJs, loudspeakers and stuff. And midway through their first slow dance, the house PAs kicked in somehow with some kind of rockin' country. So in the middle of their...

The way Patrick described it is, you're watching their first dance, and out of nowhere, the speakers come on and it goes, this is real country. Was it Rascal Flatts? That's kind of what it sounded like. Could have been a Toby Keith or a Rascal Flatts. Somewhere in the big and rich

vein. When I first met my girlfriend, Abby, who's her own person, all those years ago, but mostly my girlfriend, we had both come out with wedding songs. This was before we even started going out.

Hers was The Dolphin's Cry by Live. Really? And mine was The Chemicals Between Us by Bush. Remember Bush? Oh, yeah, absolutely. But then you guys...

Anyone out there who's a big fan of the new Gavin Rossdale album, you should go back to his earlier work in a band called Bush. Oh, did he put out a solo? Oh, yeah. Oh, finally. He waited for them babies to drop, and then he sent it out. It's like, my wife can do it. Why can't I?

She split off from her group and had super success. There's no reason Gavin Rossdale can't do this. I think he's getting to the point of where he's heard. Isn't it funny that your wife's still popular, and you haven't had a career in nearly a decade? And isn't he Australian or English? I think he's English. He comes from Shepherd's Bush. That's where the

band got their name. You guys need any 90s alt-rock trivia? It's crazy because you know the vote came down to like a 3-1 vote where one guy was like, let's call it Shepard. And the other guy was like, no, we're calling it Bush. No, Bush, definitely. And then in Canada there was some other band that was like, let's call

it Bush. And then they had to change their name to Bush X. Well, actually, yeah, the Canadian band had it like, let's call it Bush. And then they had to change their name to Bush X. Well, actually, yeah, the Canadian band had it first. That was the impression I got. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Didn't you want, as a wedding procession song, if you and Abby ever got married, was... If. When.

The theme from Jurassic Park. Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah because everyone would be like that's a really nice song but a few people would know especially when the sound effect of the pterodactyl comes in either that or the Forrest Gump theme or

Children by Robert Miles either that or the forest gump theme or uh children by robert miles i think that the forest gump theme could almost work at least it's sort of uniform with jurassic park's got like a lot of timpani yeah it's like it's a little uh you never see that you always see people like hire out like a harp player for a wedding but you never see that. You always see people hire out a harp player for a wedding, but you never see just a timpani guy. It's just like he does the Hollywood drum roll. That would be really good. I went to a wedding this summer with my...

It's the wedding of my old college roommate, Dave Nichols, who my other college roommate, Richie, who I saw there, told me I've given Dave way too many shout-outs compared to Richie. Hey, Richie! Shout-out to Richie. But yeah, they had a pianist who just played Beatles songs and then one Leonard Cohen song. Let it be? Oh, wait.

That's not a Leonard Cohen song. No, neither. Sunglasses at night. Yeah. Now I'm getting my CanCon all of a screwed up. Anyways, was it a good wedding? Oh, it was a great wedding. Yeah.

Indoor or outdoor? Indoor. And then indoor. Yeah. So in a church, not in the cheap showiness of nature, as Reverend Len Choi called it. Yeah, it was in a church, but it was kind of like, it was in Victoria, and it was in this, I think it was a church, but I don't know if they have weekly services. It's an abandoned church. He's taking wood off of the windows for the church.

It might now be some kind of music conservatory. It's a beautiful building, but the only time I was ever there before was to see a hayden concert so hayden yes wow so you were having all these flashbacks to like a really yeah good time really quiet night of acoustic rock i've always uh i always wonder like whenever you see somebody's playing in a church, is, like, how did that agent handle that phone call to their client and be like, I got you booked! Yeah? In a church. I thought there was an Ann Kellery for it, and I'm pretty sure it was Hayden,

and they were playing at a really bizarre venue, too, like, that wasn't a venue. Is Hayden still around? Like a batting cage or something. No, Hayden broke up with himself. If you're listening, you you send us an email. Let us know that you're okay. Or if anybody knows Hayden. I think Hayden does great. Does he? I don't know.

I was asking legitimately. I'm not making fun of him. If I'm going to make fun of an artist, it's going to be Kid Rock for that piece of shit summer song that I've had to hear a thousand times. That really was the song of the summer. And that lets you know what kind of summer it's been. I haven't heard it the whole way through. Not since Len's Steal My Sunshine

has there been such a summer song. That Kid Rock song seems to be on everywhere I go. Like, constantly. But have you seen the video? No! I haven't really heard the song. I knew it was Werewolves of London. I didn't know it was also Lynyrd Skynyrd. And, well, here's the thing

they well i have been sitting at home watching a lot of tv all week and uh i watched kid rock and leonard skinner on good morning america on friday yeah do you watch that no no never you don't just flip past it i flip to the today show usually after the local news uh but the video yeah we'll watch it after the show but there's it's supposed to have this flashback element of him when he was in 1989 right and he looks exactly the same no it's it's a kid playing him but his girlfriend is like a stripper like because she does all these stripper dances and like i don't remember her look being too prevalent in 1989 there was like more um scrunchies and things like that more scrunchies less bikinis with like cut off there was none of

that there was more of those bracelets that you slap on yeah yes well yeah slap bracelets were so fun until like the little plastic wore down off and then it became like a shank. I've never really worn jewelry. What's that on your wrist? It's called a watch. That's jewelry. It's TikTok. You can't do it. It tells time.

It's more functional. If jewelry had another function, I would wear it. Although there are rings that you can use as bottle openers. Yeah, and there's also rings that have those whistles on them, right? I don't need a whistle.

Necklaces that can be used as you know, like you press it if you're being robbed. Right. Or necklaces you can eat. Is that jewelry? If it's a thing where you press the thing and it alerts the police? I used to wear one when I worked at 7-Eleven.

It didn't work, though, as I found out. Some old doorbell? When I almost finished working there, I just pressed the button on the bottom. Was it on a brace? It was on a shoelace, basically. And you wore it under the smock, right? Yeah, they're all wearing them.

They don't smock anymore. They don't have smocks anymore. They all wear black t-shirts now. Is smock like a mock that you add graham crackers to? Never mind. Whoa. God. I have three of the 7--eleven smocks at home still

i keep them in case of uh you know needing an emergency halloween costume or uh sexual role-playing or coming with that hot nacho every girl's fantasy uh the taquitos do they still have taquitos yeah yeah you know it um dave yeah let's get to know you buddy what's going on um don't try and recap the whole summer it's too mighty of a job yeah we'll split it up over the podcast you know anecdotally oh you know what i mean through anecdotes yeah yeah yeah that's what i meant i think the big thing that happened to me was that our podcast got really popular. Super popular over the summer. It was almost as if my absence made it better.

Made it fonder. Yeah, we were mentioned on a couple of... Well, I guess we were just mentioned on the one podcast. Jordan and Jesse Go. Yeah, but on a couple episodes. So thanks to them, we now have a multinational listenership and

no one really gets our Canadian content or can-con jokes. So that steal my sunshine thing like a lead balloon. That may have been a hit in the States. It had a pop hook. Len's American, isn't it? No, Len's Canadian.

Whoa, hey, next Canada Day you know what song to play when you wake up in the morning. It had a pop hook. Len's American, isn't it? No, Len's Canadian. Oh, well. Whoa, hey. Hey, next Canada Day, you know what song to play when you wake up in the morning. Yeah, right. Dun-dun, dun-dun. That one. Yeah, so I just wanted to say hello to them. And thank you very much for the shout-out.

That's really nice, because they didn't have to do that. And also also the gentleman that wrote the review of us on um yeah it's on on uh the maximum fun blog yeah yeah what's his name is colin marshall colin marshall thanks a lot for the shout out and we've had a lot of uh oh well we've we've had a few reviews on itunes that were very nice and Yeah, we're feeling great. We're 10 million strong. And growing. There you go. We also mentioned there's a Vancouver Canucks blog called the Orland Curtain Blog. Oh, that mentioned our HNIC.

Our Hockey Night in Canada theme song. Which was wonderfully pulled off by yourself and your girlfriend it's beautiful oh thanks i know i just i did the most basic of basic input on that was just the general that was your voice at the very end i know that that's a game on yeah and uh yeah and so i i don't think we're gonna to win the Hockey Night in Canada contest. I think you should not write us off this early because if you've listened to some of the entries, they're fucking terrible. Oh, man, are they terrible. And they're all, there's two kinds of...

Lyrical and non-lyrical, right? Well, two kinds of themes. I've really only looked at the titles of all of them. What was the one that we were talking about the other day well there was like funky ice time and yeah there's some some that try to have fun with it that are like let's get funky and then there's some that are like the majesty of hockey yeah yeah well i listened to a couple of them and literally ours is not that far off from the level. Except if you took out the Kung Fu Panda reference and the Drew Carey reference, you've basically got what the lyrical matter of the other serious ones are. Really, it is. It's like, it's a hockey thing.

Like, it's not any more or less stupid. I've listened to a ton of them because we were going to put in a couple entries. And I find it's... You and your fellow accountants? Or musicians? No, that's more on the musician side. Okay. But there's some form filling out that goes along with it.

Yeah. Kind of all my experience works together. Oh, if we win, we will be disqualified for filling out the forms all wrong. Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, son of a bitch. But yeah, I think about half the entries are the existing theme, plus or minus a couple of notes.

With more MIDI keyboards. Yeah, like crappier samples. And the other ones are just, you know, like the tone is completely inappropriate. It sounds like Jack Johnson a year. Oh, yeah, yeah. Like, the score from... Stop it. Stop it.

Jack Johnson came to Vancouver the other day. So what? And someone asked me, well, actually, Alicia Tobin, our former guest, asked me, so how was the Jack Johnson concert? But she did it over the internet, she asked me, and so I was like, I can't tell. Are you making fun of me? I didn't go.

Are we sharing a laugh, or do you think I actually went? I think it falls under sharing a laugh. Well, we're not speaking anymore, so. That's fine. Well, someone was laughing. The Jack Johnson... That was a thing. For some reason, at least three people informed me that Jack Johnson was playing in town.

Hurry, get there! Yeah, I don't know why. Like, it was a weird thing. Like, it's not something I brought up. Like, who's in town this week? Jack Johnson fan. Yeah. You look at you and you just think...

It's my flip-flop wearing laissez-faire curious george book reading attitude there's a guy who loves jack johnson yeah here's the thing once an artist nice poncho once an artist dedicates an entire album to curious george i'm gonna write him off i'm i'm sorry maybe that makes me a snob is the batman soundtrack the cutoff point for prince yes okay what awesome has he done diamonds and pearls that was pretty good and cream cream was post bat dance was i think so yeah it was same era but yeah like it's not black sweat well I don't think that's a real song, is it?

Okay. But I don't know. Okay, maybe I'm wrong. Well, Tom Petty, didn't Tom Petty write a whole album for like a Jennifer Aniston movie? Yes, he did. She's the one. I guess I retract my statement. But what has he done since?

His latest album was really good. Okay. Grandpa. I just saw Tom Petty a couple weeks ago in Calgary. Who else has done that? Has done entire soundtracks. Bill and Sebastian did a Todd Solance movie. Alright, I'm ending this conversation.

That is random. Wow. Yeah, and that didn't derail their career or anything. No no they've gotten more motowny um what's next well hey let's what did i didn't do anything i just went to know you um i went to europe for the for the summer oh just to sightsee yep i went I was part of a, I go to school during the summer on a boat. That's interesting. That very wedding where the first dance got interrupted by a country song. I mean, it was either that wedding or the other one Patrick went to.

It's better tie into Breaker High somehow. Oh, it does. Hold on a second. The master of ceremonies was Jimmy with a Y from a y from uh breaker high oh wow wow i don't know pretty good someone knows character names patrick actually went up and said to him because you know they're all drinking during dinner and stuff he goes up and he's just like man i love breaker high and the guy of course has got you know he's like oh that was a long time ago i've done other stuff since he's, not in my eyes you haven't. There's a guy. You'll always be Jimmy.

There's a Canadian actor who used to be on this show called Student Bodies. Yep. Who's now on the Weather Network. Yep. Anyway. That was the whole thing. Speaking of actors whose lives have changed a lot since Breaker High. Since Breaker High.

Student Bodies. But no, no, Graham. Oh, sorry. Tell me about your summer. whose lives have changed a lot since Breaker High. Since Breaker High. Student buddies. But no, no, Graham. Oh, sorry. Tell me about your summer. You were in the island of the United Kingdom. Of the United Kingdom. And I toured all around there for a month with a show called One Man Star Wars.

Right. It was a guy named Charles Ross. I've seen him on, I think he was on Conan. Yeah. That was the crazy thing is I only kind of realized during the tour the incredible scope of this tour. Like he has been all over the world several times. And he's been on Conan. And I think he was, if I'm not mistaken, I think he was on The Tonight Show as well.

He's been on like Craig Ferguson. It seems like a very fringeinge Festival-y show. It is, and it's sold out at every Fringe Festival, and it was sold out at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival, which is very hard to do. Yeah, we were playing theaters all over the UK, and it was bizarre. Right, because you were opening for him.

I was opening for him, and nobody knew there was an opening act, Because you were opening for him. I was opening for him. And nobody knew there was an opening act. So everybody kind of hated me. Which is fine. Because that's not unlike what I'm used to in performing in Vancouver. Right. So it was mostly that it was all these sci-fi people. And there was even people that dress up in like the stormtrooper costumes

they were called coat as knights of the empire and they followed us the entire coat with a k with a k yeah not coat coa too yeah cash rules everything around me cream uh that's comb cream okay anyway everything around uh yeah and i understand there were a lot of children in most audiences most audiences the youngest being six six to probably like 14 if you would consider 14 still children uh and that made it so that i had to ditch half of my act right that's because and write a bunch of new material why did you have to ditch half your act because it's not kid friendly it's not kid friendly it's not that any of my stuff was dirty but then you realize when you're looking through a certain prism that like things that

you consider clean you're like oh well that does have a finger bang reference and you're like i can't actually do that so there was a lot of stuff that I had to not do, and I wrote a bunch of material based on everything that we saw, like from town to town, that was in a book that was in a bag that was stolen last night from a restaurant on Gravel Island. So if you're out there and you stole the bag, please give it back. Do you remember when Elanort Morissette was creating her second album? Yeah, yes, of course.

And her notebook was stolen, and then the rest of the songs she wrote the rest of her life were terrible. And then a suspiciously Alanis-y album came out by somebody else. By Avril Lavigne. By Duffy. So yeah, like all the kind of like but it doesn't matter because once i got back here i realized every joke that i've written over the past month or five weeks or whatever is useless it's immaterial over here right like if you don't know where crawley is right and who doesn't yes does the people in crawley know yeah crawley is uh what country is crawley in

it is in England. Ah. Yes. The Emerald Isle. The Sultan Sea. The Sultan of Swing. And then, yeah, and then I went to my cousin's wedding. Ah, see wed. See wed.

And they, who's a big fan of the podcast, so shout out to him. Hello, Fergus Bailey. And Kate Bailey. Now married, and they're for their honeymoon. They went to Tanzania, where like... I think it's pronounced Tanzania. Yeah, that's what I meant to say. They are going down there to go to a place where, what's her name? The lady that used to hang out with monkeys

Oh, Jane Goodall Yeah, they're going to where she used to hang out with monkeys To go hang out with monkeys Or Mickey Dolenz's wife For anybody who was born This side of 1967 Mickey Dolenz was one of the monkeys On the TV show

A lot of people don't know that Our listeners know, your Star Wars crowd wouldn't have known because they're children. Yeah, they were six years old. That's true. I did have like a five-minute Peter Torek chunk that I had to take right out of the end. I want to write some Star Wars monkeys fan fiction overlapping. The stormtrooper and the chimpanzee met eyes.

You know what? Wrong monkeys. Yeah yeah you're doing okay now i've gone backwards now um and my favorite thing actually coming off of the star wars tour is that there's a star wars movie now in theaters that nobody gives a shit about yeah which i'm kind of i'm kind of fascinated by that because not that many years ago when Phantom Menace came out, there were lineups and riots. And there were people converting to religions and things. Yeah, I think the new Star Wars movie is animated. And so people...

And badly, it looks like, if I'm not mistaken. People... I don't see animated movies. What? Really? Yeah. You didn't see all of them? I figure i'm going to have children someday whoa hey so you're saving up i'm saving you're gonna have to see a lot of kids we'll watch movies over and over and over again five yeah exactly but the

with any luck yeah the star wars movies, I think people realized, were for children anyway. Like the other ones, the last three. Yeah, they were. But now I think... Maybe the original three were for children too, wouldn't you say? I think this second one especially, you'd have to be like a political scientist to even know what the dialogue was supposed to mean. I saw it in French. Oh, well, it wouldn't make any difference.

Yeah, it wouldn't make any difference because the dialogue was incredibly boring, but the animated one, it doesn't... Here's the thing. Maybe they could write a new movie. No, no, no. I think America's Love Affair with Anakin Skywalker

has not ended yet. But they could just write a new... They could get the people who are currently working on all these remakes and things and extension things and just write a new movie. Why? Okay, because Meet Dave came out this summer.

Everybody loved it. That's what I mean. It was huge. No, it wasn't even playing over in Europe. I was hoping that Dave stood for something like digital analysis vehicular entity. Wow. You should have written that screenplay. Because that's what my name stands for.

Because they're aliens who come to the planet. Yeah. In Dave. Yeah, but it's just one alien played by Eddie Murphy. No, no, no. There's a whole crew of aliens. Yeah, the crew is in Eddie Murphy a la Herman's Head. They operate the vehicular entity.

Neither of you guys have seen Tropic Thunder? No. Not yet. Because the Jack Black, Eddie Murphy spoof thing is very, very funny. Oh. Looking forward to it. Yeah, well, I'm just saying. Ruin it.

I'm not trying to ruin nothing But yeah, I don't, anyways So I don't, but it was, yeah It was a long trip And I just got back this week And I've been watching a lot of Celebra Cadabra Catching up on that

Who's the biggest star on that? It depends on your frame of reference To me, the biggest star on there is Ant But to a 12-year-old girl, the biggest star would be one of the Pussycat Dolls. Right. Okay, well, I don't know what that show is. Can you guess from the title? Celebrity.

I don't know. Some kind of competition where some celebrities have to live in a house and put on the best magic. Yes! That is exactly what it is. It's a great title. Yeah. It is probably the best titled reality show going. And it's Carney Wilson is one of them.

Yeah, C. Will. She got big again. Oh, really? Well, she got her stomach stapled, remember? And I remember the whole thing was she kept carrying this grape around with her to all these interviews to be like, this is how big my stomach is now. And I was always wondering, like, is it the same grape? Or is she just like always like,

I got to go to the grocery store before the interview and get a single grape? Well, she carries one around. And she eats the rest of the bunch. She's full after eating that. Yeah, and then she's like, see? Good. Full.

Couldn't eat another bite. Maybe if I eat raisins, I can get more nutrition. But then somehow, if you have a stomach staple and then you just keep eating will the staple just eventually expand or break say and then your stomach comes back no well it's not not like instantly probably be more of an internal bleeding situation you would probably feel it yeah and you'd be like restaple it she got bigger again because she was very very tiny when you get your stomach yeah she was nicole richie size oh wow no i'm lying when you get your stomach stable we could photoshop it though we i could uh when you get your stomach stapled you you have to do it on an empty stomach right otherwise there's still a

bunch of crap stuck in there that's i always wonder when they do liposuction if they make people not eat. Well, I guess it doesn't suck at all. I guess all surgeries they probably do it. They make you not eat. Yeah, that's true. There's no surgery where they're like, eat a ham. Yeah, as much. Have some chili before you come in.

Make sure you get a lot of fiber before you come in. It's going to be a long procedure and we'll need stool samples as we go so carnie wilson there's ant he's on it there's hal sparks he was on uh last comic standing he's like a gay he's a he's a gay it's gay yeah yeah yeah is he super gay he's gayish oh yeah he's a gay comic and uh he is joined by you said whoever hal sparks or hal jordan from the uh buddy break that's a canadian reference i'm sorry guys no don't apologize i will apologize no people love it they're just around they're still at that. That seems to be the complaint I've read is, these guys are great.

A little too much Canadian stuff. But we're in Canada. Yeah. Yeah, but you don't go to Bjork concert and say, too much Icelandic chanting. You might. We know the listeners are in. You guys are in too deep. Yeah, you guys dig the bumpers yeah yeah oh here's the thing i noticed looking at our statistics a lot of people have listened to the episodes uh since the jordan jesse go shout out uh and a lot of people have

also listened to the first episode and stopped oh really so don't do that so i'll go retroactive i'll start from the beginning yeah and then work my way up but really the first one is like the first episode of seinfeld which was terrible right have you ever seen the first episode of seinfeld i believe so where it's like uh lane's not even a character right and like kramer's not crazy. And George is super somber. And successful. The parents are different people. Yeah, he's got a job, and they're in this weird thing,

and the parents are different, and he's got a weird futon couch. That was our first episode. You can make that parallel. Well, I was telling Graham that I've listened to just about all the episodes, but in reverse order. Good. Because I started with the one that just pops up with the webpage and whatever and work my way

back so I instead of watching these segments develop I get to kind of witness them deteriorating and you know you'd have a theme and then the next time you'd say like we should really make a theme for this yeah that's the way to listen to the show everyone and then the next time you'd say, we should really make a theme for this.

Yeah, that's the way to listen to the show, everyone. I think so. It's a different experience. Don't go, just don't. Just don't go back to one, two, or three. Yeah, well, don't make that your first foray into it. Although, you know. Although, if you're listening to episode, whatever, this is 26,

and you've made it this far, you're fucked. We love you. We love you. Why why is that too strong is that coming on too strong graham you sound a little desperate always uh are we gonna do overheards i think that sounds like something we might do all right hit it overheard as our custom in this country and in this room canada canada uh remember that show country canada we'll get back to it um dan why don't you uh give us our first overheard of this the new year season two i've uh i've been listening for these just in case because I thought I might get to be on the show. I actually came into the best one that I've heard in the last few weeks

on Saturday, also known as yesterday, when I went to the Dockside Seafood Restaurant down in Granville Island. Were you there too, Graham? Is that where you got your stuff stolen from? No, another Granville Island restaurant. Which will remain nameless. Did you guys see each other on Granville Island? I went to where his hotel was.

He had to see what a hotel that expensive looked like on the inside. Wow. It's not. Yeah, I know. High roller. I platinum everything. I apologize I know. High roller. Yeah. Platinum everything. I broke the bank. I apologize for interrupting.

Go on. Oh, that's okay. Anyway, so it was even weirder because I was at this restaurant by myself eating a bowl of chowder. And they seated a family with a daughter and a mom and dad right next to me at a table that was less than a foot away. So I might as well have been at the table with them. to be at a table that was less than a foot away, so I might as well have been at the table with them. And out of nowhere,

like totally not related to what they were talking about at all, the mom said, I've got to get this right. So she just said right out of the blue, so a half man, half donkey, that's a centaur, right? But then it continues. The daughter says, says no that's a pegasus mom you're such a tool uh that was a good one i got another one should i let we'll do it yeah we'll do it around you uh you went to a restaurant by yourself i did that's worse i i feel than going to a movie

by yourself i went to don't mess with the zoe and by myself which is as low as you can get by yourself you mean the movie the theater was completely yeah even the person you showed up with you're like this movie, shit. It's opening night. Don't mess with the... It's really funny and you know this because when you're over in Europe, everything gets released. It's staggered. You say I know this because I

lived in Europe. No, you were just talking about going to see movies in French. Off air. Oh, no, that was on air. Okay, go ahead. God damn you, Dave. I'm cutting this out. But the... It's a staggered system, right? Movies that are out here, and then it's like a month

later. And Zohan... Some of the movies, I don't know why they bother, because they didn't do well in America. So if you weren't able to slip it past those dummies then you think don't you have American listeners? yes, no but we know all the American

there's a lot of dummies in Canada ergo 14 uninterrupted seasons of the Red Green Show and nearly 20 of Royal Canadian Air Force yeah our national shame. Dave, are you going to weigh in on this? No, no, no.

I really apologize for our American listeners. Yeah. Dave's all sensitive now. Yeah. I'm a people pleaser. All of a sudden. No, you were never a people pleaser before. When were you a people pleaser before. When were you a people pleaser?

Dr. Phil says that a people pleaser is the kind of person who, if you phone them at 5 in the morning and you wake them up, they'll say, no, I was up already. And that's what I would do. And you would do that. That is what you would do, really? Yeah. Oh, wow.

I wouldn't answer the phone. So what does that make me? Yeah, I wouldn't either. I would subject the person to torture. What does that make me? Yeah, I wouldn't either. I would subject the person to torture. What does that make me? I don't know. I'll ask Dr. Phil. Go on. I don't remember what my original point was.

Something, something, something. Oh, the Zohan, right? So that didn't do well over in America, did it? No, for good reason. So do they just send it over to Europe as a last, like, maybe we can recoup the investment? Probably. Well, yeah.

I mean, they've got it on reels already. They've made the thing. What's it cost to release it in another country? I don't know. Probably quite a bit. A lot is my guess, given the exchange rate. A fraction of what they'll make. I guess, yeah.

Yeah, I mean, if... Of what they'll make. I guess, yeah. Yeah, I mean, if... Probably the weakest, like, the movie that struck me this summer as the movie that didn't need to be made was X-Files 2. Yeah. Well, I'm surprised. Yes, yes.

But also, if we're just going to file things under didn't need to be made, I don't think that you're just going to zero in on that one movie. I think, like, everything short of Batman, WALL-E, and maybe a couple other choice ones. Basically everything. Sex and the City didn't need to be made. Mom Idea certainly did not need to be made. Both very popular, though. Really successful movies.

Yeah, but no, but... The fact that you're zeroing in on these movies in a world where a disaster movie exists is troubling. Let's focus our view just for a second, if I may. Yes, please. I don't know who it is who makes those movies. Friedberg and Seltzer.

I don't know. It used to be Wayans related. That was a long time ago. Like, Scary Movie was the weigh-ins franchise. And then there was... Superhero Movie was that one? But that wasn't a weigh-in. Epic Movie?

No. Epic Movie and Meet the Spartans and Superhero Movie and Disaster Movie. Not another teen movie. They're all the same guy. Not another teen movie. I think Not Another Teen Movie is where it started. And then they just became this franchise. But those were different.

Not Another Teen Movie was different. Yeah, those weren't weigh-ins either. No, these ones are... Look it up. It's friedberg and something no it's not another teen movie in retrospect kind of seems visionary yeah it almost does it almost seems beautiful by comparison uh to well i've haven't seen i've only seen clips a scary movie was on tv last night and there was an American Pie kind of scene in it that should have just been in Not Another Teen Movie. Right. Or probably was.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, go on. But that's all they do for these movies. They're instantly dated, right? They're dated as soon as they hit the theater. Yeah. They're like, you have to cast your mind back six months and go, oh, yeah, that's right. And then, why do you make...

They must make money. They cost nothing to make, probably. Because there's no stars in it. That's right, yeah. And it's all just kind of... There's no script. They shoot them in Toronto for free. But here's what I would like to do.

I would like to do. I don't have the patience or the wherewithal to ever do an experiment like this, but I would like to keep a copy of one of those movies and show it to somebody ten years from now and watch them just fucking confused after every single line in the movie. Because I picture that one from a superhero movie where there's Spider-Man out the window and then Donald Trump comes out with the scissors and cuts it down and I'm like,

try and figure out what the fucking joke is there. Even two years from now. I saw the preview for... What's the new one? Spidey is fired. That's what he does. What's the new one coming out? Disaster movie.

Disaster movie. And there's a fake amy winehouse in it right and uh and a frank uh miley cyrus yep well because yeah what would a disaster movie be without yeah you know like the day after tomorrow yeah starring miley uh and there's a fake hancock uh but hancock was like that's one of those movies that wasn't even that popular. Like, it was kind of like... It won its weekend. Yeah, but I mean, before Hancock was even released...

Yeah, because they had to have made the movie before Hancock was even released. So they were relying on it being more popular. Well, and that was the thing. Like, whatever the one epic movie, they had the Rambo character in it based on Rambo from the old Rambo movies. Because they're like, I think there's another Rambo coming out. So they just fucking threw it in there.

It would seem really clever. I would like to sit in a pitch session for one of those movies. Oh, yeah. Because that would probably be incredible. Like, it would just be like... It's like, we'll do it like it's American Idol, but instead of a

singer it'll be phil in the black like paris hilton or something no but even that like they it would have to be somebody even more flash in the pan like it'll be like like the star of celebra cadabra whoever they are how was carnie wilson? Horrible. She didn't, she's not good at all. And Ant is trying to psych her out. I have a book of card tricks that I bought a couple years ago. I literally thought you were going to say, I have a book by Carney Wilson. Because it was almost, it was cards. Cards by Carney.

And I'm like focusing. Say knee Wilson. Is that seriously the premise of the show? I haven't watched it, actually. That's unbelievable. What has happened to the world? We're doing overheards. Your turn?

My turn. Your turn. I'll do one. Zohan, Zohan. Zohan, Zohan. I did a weekend at Yuck Yucks this summer. How'd that go? It was all right.

So, yeah, I did this weekend at Yuck Yucks and on the Saturday night there were fireworks in Vancouver. Four nights a year we have this. You mean that literally. You don't mean it as a literary metaphor like there were fireworks

that night. Alright. Continue. There. Continue. There were fireworks four nights a year in Vancouver in the summer, a Wednesday, a Saturday, or two Wednesdays and two Saturdays. There's a celebration of light, as it's called, or a symphony of fire,

or a cacophony of sky flames. Or a distraction whilst stabbing. That's what we've been calling it the last couple years. And it's all uh it's in the west end of vancouver which is a predominantly gay neighborhood and just people come in from the suburbs who aren't gay and are just thugs and uh scare everyone back into their apartment i would like to put an asterisk next to that and say that a lot of them are gay and don't know it. Right.

But, yeah. Because there's a lot of them. The suburban thugs come in and stab everyone while they watch fireworks. But, yeah, the downtown goes crazy. But, surprisingly, no one shows up at comedy shows on these nights. That's not true, though, because last year, last summer, back in the days when I used to run a comedy show, we were fine during fireworks night because our show acted like a refuge for anybody who didn't want to get stabbed.

Right. But where I was, it was downtown already, so it was near where the fireworks were taking place. Yeah. Near Stabsville. I can't believe you went downtown during fireworks. I know. What are you, new to this city?

God damn it. It was for a paycheck. Anyway. Whoa. Oh, yeah. So I did two shows on a Saturday, and between the two shows, I had a lot of time to fill, and so I went down to where the fireworks, or near where the fireworks were taking place on Davie Street, and had a couple pints of beer.

And I watched... I like where this story's going. I watched everyone stream down Davie Street towards the West End to watch the fireworks. But there was one gentleman who I overheard walking away from the fireworks, and he said, I had to write it down, he said, away from the fireworks. And he said, I had to write it down, he said,

Fuck fireworks, I get more excitement from a Bangkok hooker on a Tuesday night. That didn't make any... No, it didn't make any sense, because... And it also makes no... He was saying this to nobody. He had a person who was dragging along with him. A Bangkok hooker. He was in a wife beater.

Oh, nice. But he, yeah, apparently he thinks everyone else seems to be of the opinion that fireworks can compete with hookers, which they can't. Everyone gets more excitement from the hookers. Hookers aren't even involved to compete in the competition. They had trouble registering. They weren't even involved to compete in the competition. No, they had trouble registering. It used to be the hookers would be here.

It would be here, Canada, Vietnam, a hooker. And not anymore. Now it's just countries doing... So that was my big summer overheard. Summer overheard? It kind of fell flat. I thought it was okay. I liked it. The setup was gorgeous.

It brought us back to a simpler time. I would like it if you could loop that and send it to me via email. Just that side. Yeah. I have a lot. Well, I have a few from Europe, but again, bag stolen yesterday. So missing my notebook with most of them written down. But somebody is probably having a very confusing time reading them.

Yeah, well, no. I actually heard a really funny one the other night when we were walking down Davie Street. We were going to a bar, and there was a guy talking on his cell phone really loudly. I was going to do this one. I mean, absurdly loudly to the point where we were like, we've got to either speed up or fall way back. Because this guy... So you sped up. No, we stayed.

Because I was like, I've got to get the rest of what he's talking about. And it was the way he paused that made this. He kept saying this sentence over and over again. I want to kiss you on the mouth for my birthday. No, I want to kiss you on the mouth for my birthday. No, I want to kiss you on the mouth for my birthday.

Then there was a long pause. So when are you guys getting married? And Dan was very correct in saying that's going to be one of those phone calls where you're going to be like, I said what? I didn't say that. Kiss me on the mouth. Are you sure? I couldn't have said that.

It's not even my birthday. So that was my overheard from... You had another one? I do have another one, yeah. Lay it on me. Pops. You're so jazzy. I call you Pops because you're older than us.

Not the case. Not the case at all. Yes, I am Graham's younger brother, actually. He said you were his middle brother. Middle, yeah. Yeah. He's the older. Anyway.

Don't mess with the Zohan, Dan. Yeah. I tried it. It was all right. Anyway, so I've been put in charge at work at my accounting job. Are you in charge of the Johnson account?

No, they got somebody else on that. What about the Feinberg account? Is he really right in your eyes? I landed the Banks account. That's the big one. What about the Johnson and Johnson account? SC Johnson Wax, a family company. It is a family company. So let's keep everything

above board, guys. We don't make no effing lubes. What do SC Johnson Wax really make? Every family product. Okay. Jolly Jumpers.

WALL-E. That's their major two things. Jolly Jumpers. WALL-E. That's their major two things. Jolly Jumpers and WALL-E. If only we could fuse them together. That industry's huge. It's hot. But anyway, so I get put in charge of any kind of random thing that they don't have anybody else to do. My job description is pretty much just whatever shit rolls downhill into the collecting pool that is my job description is pretty much just you know whatever shit rolls downhill into

the collecting pool that is my job nice and it doesn't sound like you're in charge of everything no i'm in charge of small things that nobody else wants to do so um one of the things i do is i set up phones for everybody and we got a couple new employees in and i was clearing the voicemail off a... What accounting class was that? Yeah, exactly. That's why I'm so good at it. But I was clearing off the voicemail on this former employee's phone and he had about 12 messages on there

and three saved calls. And all the messages were from a collections company and they were quite vicious the whole time and i got down i listened to portions of all of those deleted them all got down to the saved messages and there was um two saved messages that i thought were pretty funny in conjunction with one another. And I have no idea the context of these. I'll probably never see this person again, so I'll never find out. But the first message

was, it was a girl's voice, and I can't remember her name. It was something like Andrea or Ashley. She says, Hey, it's Ashley calling. Just so you know, I know it was you last night. I know you're not six seven i don't know what the joke is but i'm not impressed

i don't know what the joke is either yeah i know you're not six seven i found your platform shoes out in the alley but then the is that is that six seven you meant? Like height? Like height was. I know that you're two children standing on each other's shoulders in a trench coat sneaking into a porno. No, you're not 6'7". The second part of that was that there was a second saved message, which was actually the older message, like it had been recorded previous to the one that I just listened to. like it had been recorded previous to the one that I just listened to. And it was the same girl's voice.

And she said, hey, it's Ashley or Andrea or whatever her name was. I'm really excited about our badminton date on Friday. Speaking of which, have you guys seen any of the Olympics? Oh, let's talk about that for one second. Did you see the Taekwondo thing? No. Or I don't know if it's Taekwondo. Taekwondo don't. That's not a, is it?

Taekwondo is not an Olympic sport. I think it is. It might be. The guy kicking the coat, or not the coat, sorry, the referee in the face. He dropped kick his jacket as he came through the door. Well, that never mattered before. I didn't see nothing uh this guy it's it's making the the rounds on youtube right now but there was a guy uh taekwondo don't remember what country

he was from uh there was a call can you give me a race uh he was i you know what i've only seen a part of the clip and it was very fuzzy okay clip i saw but uh white ish color i don't i don't i'm colorblind um this is how you tell but anyways there was a call made and uh it's this coach got quite furious and then this guy decided instead of just taking it like an olympian kicked the referee in the face. Wow. Yeah. Did he win? Yeah, they went back to the table, and they were like,

this guy can really kick. Maybe we should reconsider this guy. Referees are like experts on Taekwondo. And so that was the big, that was kind of like the last big story of the Olympics, because there wasn't any other really big... Wow, I missed that. It just happened. I didn't see that either just happened. Not yesterday.

Day before. Everyone I've noticed keeps talking about how hot the female beach volleyball is. There are some pretty hot ones. I didn't watch beach volleyball. I saw a lot of the indoor volleyball. I enjoy the conventional

indoor volleyball. It's not my favorite. Oh, really? I like the diving. I'm into diving. Okay. I think here's the thing with the synchronized diving, is you know where the cameras are stationed in the shower area?

When the two guys shower up together afterwards... They shouldn't wash each other. They shouldn't. Yeah, exactly. First of all, A, they shouldn't wash each other they shouldn't yeah exactly first of all a they shouldn't wash each other let's phase that and uh there was one there was this one couple well there weren't a couple maybe they were but they were from wherever they were from and they that doesn't help no well they were too i think they were i want to say that they were from finland but i don't know if that's right. I doubt it. I doubt it. They don't have height up there.

Yeah, or pools. But it was, they were in, and they kept laughing every time they were in the shower. And I was watching it with my dad, and he was like, Ugh, don't, stop showing those guys laughing in the shower together in there. And what I don't understand about the swimming versus diving is that all the swimmers this year were wearing these super NASA-developed, water-resistant pants. That look exactly like the old-timey wolf swimsuits of the 20s. The heritage suits. I don't know why they couldn't make them stripy like the old ones.

Like that would slow you down. And why the boxing this year wasn't done with kangaroos i despite my many letters to the ioc bring it back um is that why can't the divers wear those two instead of the uh the tiny little briefs that make me question things yeah when were you with your dad uh he was over for the wedding, and then we went to... My dad, my mom, and I went to Prague. Prague. What wedding?

What? Where were you for the first half of the podcast? He wasn't at the wedding. I was at the wedding. Your brother was at this weekend. No. Okay, sorry. Different wedding.

My cousin's wedding. Oh, that was in Europe. That was in Ireland. Oh, okay. I didn't know that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So they were over for that. Then we went to Prague. We watched the Olympics every night, sometimes in German. wedding oh that was in europe that was in ireland yeah okay i didn't know that yeah yeah yeah so they were over for that then we went to prague we watched the olympics every night sometimes in

german sometimes in spanish right so if you are from germany uh spain or ireland write us yeah well podcasting yourself at gmail.com all right which uh? I'm sorry. I'm running out of steam. Yeah, you are. But don't worry. I got plenty of steam for the both of us. Oh, good. Speaking of steam, we are drinking Anchor Steam Beer, made in San Francisco since 1896. We're not only drinking that.

We're also drinking Carlsberg, probably the world's best beer. And Sing Tau. Sing Tau. Sing Tau. Number oneau. Sing Tau. Number one beer at Chinese restaurants across the country. Sloganless Asian beer.

Sing Tau. Yeah, so anyways, that was my... And Phelps. What a swimmer. Yeah. That guy's record-breaking. Here's the thing

that I pointed out. Somebody pointed it out to me and I felt it necessary to point it out to other people. Okay, so Michael Phelps won eight, right? Yeah. But he would get a medal if he swam like 100 meters or 50 meters, right? But like a triathlete has to swim, I don't know how many kilometers. I know they have to run a marathon. And they have to do like 50 kilometer or 50 mile bike

or something. It's something ridiculous. They get one medal. So if you're the best at triathlon you get one medal and forgotten, honestly. So what do you suggest? I suggest, I don't know, kind of a medal gradient system.

No, like if you're awesome at triathlon, you get. What do you get for dressage? Like in the soccer tournament, they give away medals to 11 people. Yeah. Or like probably the substitutes get medals too. So there's like 15 gold medals that get given away for one event. Do we count – when we're counting medals or when any country is counting medals? No, they don't count. So when you – If when any country is counting no they don't count

so when you have a team gets you don't count you don't count the whole team no that's one metal well you it doesn't matter it would skew everything but you would still yeah it would come out in the wash yeah and the uh equestrian events the horse doesn't get a medal he gets oats yeah because horses love oats yeah do. But even losing horses get oats. Here's the thing about... Losing horses get shell. Yeah, losing horses get shell. So do they fly the horses over there in the cargo,

like in those really huge cargo planes? I don't know. It's weird because... Or do you go over there and they just got X amount of Chinese horses and you pick the one that best matches your horse at home? I don i don't know so the chinese are you great all the rest of them so it's it's byo horse but i don't know if the horse has to come from the same country as the country it's competing for like so you can't be a norwegian rider on like a tanzanian horse maybe you can or tanzanian i don't believe it's

pronounced that way i think it is uh yeah i think i like i'm pretty sure the horses uh have no allegiance here's the thing in question because i didn't see the medal uh during the medal ceremonies do the horses also are you up on the podium? No, I doubt it. My favorite Olympic sport is modern pentathlon. That doesn't exist anymore. It doesn't anymore? No.

That's probably why I didn't see it. They have heptathlon now. But modern pentathlon was like shooting and uh arrows and then gum and then and driving driving a horse driving a horse and then picking some stocks but if it doesn't exist never mind it was no well there was a movie with dolph lundgren called uh pentathlon really yeah and this is the best premise for a movie since that one about Jim Carter. A guy who's a

gymnast. Everything, yeah. He always managed to find a pommel horse or rings to fight people with. Pantathlon is like the more updated and not quite as winking ridiculous

Dolph Lundgren is a pentathlete who then gets embroiled in this thing but he uses all his pentathlete abilities so his shooting and his running and his long distance drive without a map or whatever it is in the pentathlon

laughter weather prediction he doesn't have an ice scraper he's got to use a credit card laughter it's a really fine film if you can find it at your local video store

um but yeah so your favorite extinct sport modern pentathlon my favorite extinct sport, modern pet diathlons? My favorite existing sport is women's conventional volleyball. Conventional volleyball. What about you, Dan? Favorite existing sport? For Olympics, I like the track and field, actually.

Yeah, track and field is a go-to. My favorite is the synchronized diving. I could watch that all night. I think it's hysterical. I think the uh the judges are really bitchy about everything they're just like way off way off and it was like totally not way off it's like a hair off you know like the guy just he's he's uh at an 89 degree and the other guy's at a 90 and they're like way off no splash by a compass i was watching it with

patrick and reene and we pretty much as a rule. You guys know Patrick and Rene in the audience? Patrick is the youngest brother of Graham and myself. And Rene is his significant other. Oui. Anyway, we were watching the... That's for Rene. He's just kind of French. Oui.

Yeah. Which is quib. So, we were watching the diving and everyone that we said like oh that was great you would instantly hear the judges say like quit one thing i noticed with the synchronized diving is they do really uncomplicated dives compared to the singles diving yeah i think it's because they have to synchronize oh probably i mean it's like if i asked you what time it was you could just look at your watch but if i said what time is it synchronized then you'd have to find the other guy that you synchronized

right and my watch i keep my watch 10 minutes fast just to scare myself into being on time i try to do that and it doesn't work because i know because your brain is already like done like a lock-in i've corrected by the time i correct it with my brain you're already there um yeah i don't know i liked uh i enjoyed i enjoyed the olympics i thought honestly i thought canada was coming gonna come home with zero i was hoping medals that really there was a point where i was kind of fine with it and it made me laugh we were talking about it last night and somebody said uh oh you know it's really a question of numbers like it's no wonder we're losing to

china and the states because they have such bigger populations and stuff i said no for the first half of the olympics we were losing to Republic of Tongo, which I didn't even know was a country. My favorite was looking at, what was it, Togo? Yeah, Togo. Togo had one, and we had zero. And I was like, I don't even... Vatican City, five.

They're mostly cardinals. They're really old, too, but man, can they swim. Man man oh man um did you hear about the woman the 40 or 41 year old virgin virgin uh yeah i did that was good that was a nice little olympic story you always want like the story yeah but there's all what about the 14 year old who's masquerading as a 16 year old in china how about about that? How about that routine? I'm questioning if she's even really 14. She looks more like Chinese.

I would like you know what I would like is if it just went ridiculous that if she showed up and they tried to like, you know, like she had like they painted in white hairs or something you know, like she had like that grey streak like Bonnie Raitt.

Like Stacy from What Not to Wear. She's clearly older. But it's one of those things where she starts sweating, like the white paint starts trickling like Pepe Le Pew. But six-year-olds don't sweat. No, well, she is clearly not 16. No, she's clearly not. When is the last time you were 16?

All the gymnasts are tiny, though. But she's tiny and she's 14. That's the key. I doubt she's even 14. What's your point? She's not 16. That's my point. Okay.

How could she be 16? Well, the only one that looked like they were 16 or older was the American. She's like the American Big Hope. or older was the American Sacramony. There was one woman competing for Germany who won a silver medal who was 33.

In gymnastics? I think in gymnastics, if you're going to make an age limit for too young, you should make an age limit for too old. If you can still do it at that age. Wrong. She already had a kid, too. Or maybe two kids.

That's okay. And one of them was competing, and they're like, she's 16. That's impressive. I don't even think, going back, I think that she's two babies on each other's shoulders. I'd watch that.

Why not? There's a lot of things I'll watch. That's what I learned Why not? There's a lot of things I'll watch. That's what I learned this week. There's a lot of things I'll watch. You're watching Celebrity Day on a regular basis. I was watching a former guest with John Buehler and I were watching a Maury Povich where it was

see if you can tell if it's a man or a woman. That routine. Who had the better record of seeing if they could tell? John left because he was like, this isn't fun at all. I'm getting too turned on. He did, he stormed out. He didn't like the game at all. But they really dragged it out.

They made them come out in evening wear and in a bikini, which is dicey because there were penises involved. But it's on Mori they dress like, the real women are dressed like drag queens, dude. They're not dressed like normal you know. Yeah, no, it's not like So they dress them up to look like a man. I was a nerd in high school. Now I'm a drag nerd.

How do you feel good as a woman who's gone on those shows and had umpteen audience members go, man, he's a man. That's a man. Look at those arms. That's a man. Look at those arms. That's a man. And I,

those small, gross breasts, man, they're just pecs. I say, like the girls, like self-confidence is just shattered. You sent me the funniest clip of a woman,

uh, who was afraid of cotton. She's afraid of cotton. Have you seen this? It wasn't on your site. I think we haven't put it up yet. He sent it to me and I laughed. I think I laughed for about two minutes straight.

It was a woman who was afraid of cotton balls. Like cotton swabs. And Maury brought out a cotton ball and the woman started freaking out. And backstage they had prepared a man covered in cotton balls. Like he was a cotton ball and the woman started freaking out and backstage they had prepared a man covered in cotton balls like he was a cotton ball man monster to come out and scare her later but that's i said

to dave is that would scare the shit out of me and i'm not averse to cotton at all but he completely missed his cue and he came out way too early and she was not not ready. But then he started chasing her around. And I'm like, if there was a guy like, if they were like, hey Graham, go in that cupboard. And I opened it up and there was a guy with a cotton face. And he was like, and started chasing me.

A guy with a normal face. Well yeah, I guess if there was a guy with a normal face in my cupboard. Did I say cupboard? Yeah. If there was a man with a normal face in my cupboard. Did I say cupboard? Yeah. Yeah. If there was a man with a normal face in my cupboard, I would shit myself. How do you fit in there? Yeah. Get away from my collectible Chevron mugs.

This has been a great show. Are we done? We're pretty deep in. Is it time to say goodbye? I think it's about time. I didn't mean it when I said dummies in reference to America. No, no, no. Anyone who saw Don't Mess With The Zone

you are a dummy. Whether you're Graham's brother or not. I admit I saw it. I think I am a dummy. Also, thanks everybody who's written into the show and has been listening to the show. We have tons of new listeners and we really appreciate you writing in. And you know one of my favorite thing is it seems like a lot of people seem to like to

listen to this show at work yeah that seems to be a theme in the emails is that people uh laugh at work and everyone thinks they're crazy that's exactly what i do yeah i laugh at work people think i'm crazy that's so yeah. I appreciate that we found our niche. And also, thanks for people. A lot of people have sent their own overheards. Yeah. And I think we're going to have to create. Some kind of website, database.

Yeah. Either that or I think maybe, should we maybe do other people's overheards? Not as if they're our own, but maybe we make a side project. Yeah. We also have some new segments we want to trot out in the next couple weeks. So we've got a whole lot to listen to. Yeah. I wanted to have people call in and just leave us a message.

Yeah. And so, yeah, I mentioned that a few episodes ago. And so if you do want to call in, email us, stoppodcastingyourself at gmail.com. I will send you a phone number. A phone number. But not an address because we don't want no education or bandits. Right. Education or Bandit.

Right. Also, what else was... I think we're going to... Eventually, we're going to get a website together. I think that's going to be the new project now that I'm back. So stay tuned to that. Stay tuned to the internet. Stay tuned. Hey, hey, the internet will be right back, so stick around.

Who's the boss? Who's that? The internet will be doing something new, so stick around. But thanks a lot, and there will be tons of... We're not even close to caught up on all the adventures that went on this summer, but it's good to be back, Dave. This is the only good thing about being back. If anyone is in Americaica and is at uh it lives in washington state you can

see graham next weekend labor day weekend at the bumbershoot yeah at the uh i don't remember what the name of the stage is but it's like the local comedy stage look them up on the bumbershoots you know i'm actually looking forward to hearing some of you guys podcasts where you reference stuff that's actually in the future not just in the future with respect to when you recorded it, but actually in the past. This will be actually in the future. This actually will make the cutoff by a day or two.

And if you want to hear more of me, you can listen. I was a guest on the Exploding Sandwich yesterday. Oh, what the fuck? I will not sit here and have you plug their show turns out they're really great guys and I've kind of promised

that my episode would have the highest ratings ever so here's a question and I'm just going to lay this out you're the only one they want out of the two of us that's how it's going to be I guess I don't think they're gonna last at all exploding sandwich

uh gotta say my feelings are a little hurt um but dave seriously uh it's been a lot of fun it's so nice to see you again and grandpa and abby and podcast and something yeah we'll be back in a few days with a new episode. Absolutely. All the best. Back at you. Regards. Thanks for tuning in again, downloading us again. Thank you. Thank you, Dan. Thanks for having me.

It's been a lot of fun. Everybody, come back again for some more Stop Podcasting Yourself. Music