Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 264 - Brent Butt

Episode Date: April 8, 2013

Brent Butt returns to talk Yoo-Hoo, squirrels, and free pizza. Also, your chance to win an awesome Hulk Hogan News stained glass window during the MaxFunDrive.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello, everybody, and welcome to episode number 264 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is the Dinah Shore of podcasting, Mr. Dave Shumka. Here's what I know about Dinah Shore. Woman.

Yep. Golf tournament. That's about it. Is there... We'll get back to it okay and our guest today on this very special

second week of the Max Fun Drive Fun Drive Fun Drive Fun Drive our guest returning guest

one of our favorite all time guests hilarious comedian and writer and movie star now Mr. Brett Butt movie star yeah how do you like it i like it i like how that sounds i'm gonna wrap it with a t-shirt done yeah cement ponds it's like uh i'll

do like one of those ask me about what was it maybelline or who you know the like some like a shirt there was like a makeup ask me about mary kate oh ask me about mary k, ask me about Mary Kay. Oh, ask me about Mary Kay. Ask me about making movies. I'm a movie star. Like one of those kind of iron-on, like the Cooper font. I reference Cooper italic font in the movie. Really? How weird is that? Well, it's a great font.

My character sells specialty advertising in the movie. And he's like, Cooper font is where you're going. Oh, I see. We've chosen the Cooper ital the movie. And he's like, Cooper font is where you're going. Oh, I see. We've chosen the Cooper italic font. Well, that's the go-to font for number one dad or I'm with stupid. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's the classic. Too legit to quit. Seems fun, yet legible. Yeah, that's right. That's a balance. You got to walk that tightrope. What is this font? Is it the Louis C.K. font?

Oh, yeah, kind of. It's the one like, you know, when you go to a Cherry Bomb or whatever and you get the iron-on letters. They're like roundy. The roundies. The roundies. Almost anything you saw in the 70s was Cooper. Okay.

Yeah. And there's also known as. All the bizarre was in Cooper font. Also known as Cooper Tino. That's, I think, one year. That's, you know, because you got to. Also known as Cooper Tino. That's I think one year that's, you know, cause you gotta,

it's their copyrighted, right? So you can come up with a Cooper esque Cooper Tino. Then you don't got to pay royalties on it. I know my way around the law book. Yeah. You just, I gotta add a Tino to something.

Cooper with a K. Oh, well let's get to know us. Get to know us. So you're going to be in a, well, not just in a movie. You wrote a movie. That's the only way I could ever be in a movie is if I wrote and produced the thing. Even then, I was tempted not to hire myself.

But I knew somebody. Yeah. I was tempted not to hire myself. But I knew somebody. Yeah. So it was exciting because this is the first movie that my company, Sparrow Media, has ever done. And my company, Sparrow Tino. Yeah. Sparrow Tino. I'm going to have my lawyers all over you.

They can directly trace this conversation. I don't know if you guys know this is being recorded. Yeah. Yep. This this is being recorded. This room is completely tapped. You guys thought it was 264 just days of you getting together and chatting as friends. No, this has all been recorded. What if that was a thing? That we were insane people who got together

and numbered it. Get Wes Anderson on the phone. We got a movie. Some quirky a couple of quirky buddies. I take a ledger. On a nice summer day on the phone. We got a movie. Some quirky. Yeah. A couple of quirky buddies. I take a ledger. On a nice summer day in the backyard. We're not recording it, but someone is taking minutes. Yeah.

Involuntary podcast. Yeah. Somebody else recording. So here's the premise of the movie. Okay. Let's hammer this out right now. All right. Your movie?

No, the next one. This is the big. There hasn't been a big podcasting movie yet. So people trying to do a podcast, it's not coming together, right? They find, much to their chagrin, they're just not that interesting. They overhear at a coffee shop a couple quirky characters having a chat. Very interesting. They decide these guys are coming to the same coffee shop every day.

We've got to start recording these guys' conversations. We're going to bug the whole coffee shop. Well, you know, they'll get, I don't know, a parabolic sound gun, something. We'll get some geeks to figure that out. What if they get everybody in the coffee shop? They realize that everybody else in the coffee shop is interference talking-wise, so they hire a bunch of extras to just sit in the coffee shop and mouth

the words. Just make white noise. And then there's a murder. This has a very rear window feel. Well, that is my movie, No Clue, is basically at the heart of it, when you boil

everything away, as I like to say. It's a classic murder mystery. I'm a fan of the genre, the detective movie, the whodunit. What's your favorite detective movie? I actually kind of like Miss Marple. The Agatha Christie TV, you know, the TV show is based on

Agatha Christie's Miss Marple character. My mom loves Miss Marple. I like the Joan Hickson best of all. She Christie's Miss Marple character. My mom loves Miss Marple. Miss Marple. I like the Joan Hickson best of all. She's my Miss Marple of choice. Okay. Fair enough. Mine's Roger Moore.

Yeah. I was going to say Sean Connery. He didn't seem tough enough to be Miss Marple. He didn't have that dangerous edge that I like from Miss Marple with the knitting needles in any second. And Dear Adam's apple. He did too many judo chops. So,

and Hercule Poirot. I also like, I'm a big fan of Detective Noir. You know, your Maltese falcon. Your falcon crest. Different. You're on there all together.

Crest toothpaste. Anything with a crest in it. So, at the heart of this movie, that's what it is. Now it is comedic because that's kind of my forte. Yeah. Right?

Well. You know, if I have a forte, I'm not saying I do, but if I had one, that would probably be it. That and running. Yeah.

Long distance runs. Oh, you are like a be it. That and running. Yeah. Long distance running. Oh, you are like a gazelle. Those are the two things. I'm like a hilarious Kenyan, really. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're like a really speedy Miss Marple. Yeah. I would go to a comedy club that was advertising the hilarious Kenyan.

The hilarious Kenyan. All weekend. Oh, yeah. So that's what it is. It's a detective movie. It's a cast of suspects. There's been, you know, it starts with somebody missing. What has happened?

And the name of the talkie is? No clue. No clue. So this is one of those things where you could get very avid. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Well, he doesn't have the information. We'll talk to the publicist.

Odd that he wouldn't know. Now, is it one of these, like, the classic detective story where a woman comes in, somebody's been murdered, and I need your help, and you're a detective? Except she doesn't say murder. My brother's missing. Okay. She comes in. She needs help. The classic damsel in distress.

Okay. You know, it's part of the homage to the genre. Sure. Gumshoe office. Faye Dunaway, right? Yes. In King Kong. My brother's missing.

There's a giant gorilla climbing up the outside of my shabby office. Yeah, that's right. He's getting drunk and then the gorilla's looking in the window at him. And then he's like, I'm not drinking anymore. Yeah. There's just a giant fingerprint on the window.

You want to see a fingerprint? Look at this one. He's just out there with like a paint roller doing fingerprinting. It's the size of a pumpkin. Fingerprint. Oh man, that would be great. Is that what this movie is about? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love this movie.

I'm regretting that it's not about that now. But that was one of the things. I didn't want it to be a zany movie. I wanted this to be... When I was first pitching this to partners and distributors and stuff, when you say comedic mystery, but not zany, they can't.

Because when you say comedic mystery, they think, oh, you know, great. James Coco, you're going to be falling down a lot downstairs. Yeah. And it's not that, right? And so they didn't know. And then it dawned on me, Midnight Run is a good example. Midnight Run is a movie that is, I always said if you took what's humorous out of it, it would still work. So that's what I was trying to do when I wrote this.

And Beverly Hills Cop was written not for Eddie Murphy. It was initially, it wasn't a comedy. So the backbone. Really? Yeah. It was just a detective story about this out of place cop who goes to Beverly Hills. He's a gritty Detroit cop who goes to Beverly Hills.

Then Eddie Murphy was hot. He was all the rage. That's true. Popular with the kids. So they put him in the movie. So then it had a comedic. They said, just turn him loose. Turn this kid loose and then just push your way

into the bank. I'd be a good old time agent. Yes. Just push your way into the bank. I'd be a good old time agent. Yeah. Just push your way into the bank. Usually they don't let you in the bank.

Coming through. I got more money than you. What was the oh in Scarface there's like a huge long montage

like it's an entire song length long. It's like four minutes long where Tony Montana is making so much money and there's a... It keeps cutting to them bringing duffel bags of

cash into the bank. And at first the bank guy is like, yeah, this is great. And then on the third time he's like, uh-oh. Our vault is stuffed. We can't cram any more cash into our vault. But it never makes it clear why he's so upset.

Yeah, I was just going to ask, what changed for him? What was his motivational change? Oh, it was all the same day. He's just like, oh, boy. He's exhausted. Again with the duffel bag of money. He had a very short-term memory. Hey, I had a guy in earlier came in. Hockey bag full of cash.

Yeah, can you do that? Like if you go to the bank. The Cubans probably don't call it a hockey bag. No, yeah. They call it a baseball bag. A hockey bag. But I suppose like it's got to be a bit of a hassle. Like if it's just loose bills.

Yeah. That's why they invented those counting machines. Oh, I guess they have those in every drug dealer. You ever see those being in operation at a bank? No. They're the best. It's like the size of a toaster. That time I brought in my quarters.

You put a stack of bills in. Yeah. Counts it up. A little digital readout. But do you have to put in all the same type of bill? And then it just counts the number of bills? Yeah. Like you can't put in tens of them.

It counts the number of bills. Okay. Yeah. Because that would be so much. I didn't quiz them with a bunch of bills. I was just fascinated by it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You got one of the Einstein twins over here.

The Edison twins. The Einstein twins. That was the ripoff. It was like the Einstein twins over here. The Edison twins. The Einstein twins. That was the ripoff. It was like the Cupertino. The Edison-tino twins. But if you went into a bank with just a bag of money, they would alert the authorities, right? Why are you not allowed to just be Mr. Moneybags? Yeah.

If you come in with an official bag that has a dollar sign on it, there should be no question. Yeah. A shopping bag. What is a duffel bag if not a giant purse? Oh, yeah. That's true. That's a good call. But what if you have a bag that has the dollar sign on it, but you're also wearing a stripy shirt?

Yeah. That's such a giveaway. If you bring a bag with a pesos sign, then they'll really roll their eyes. What is the pesos sign? Oh. Is it a P with a line through it? It's a P with a line through it, yeah. I can only imagine it's a P with a line through it.

What are your big – Like the pound is an L. Yeah, and a big – I don't know why. A big swoopy L. Because they took the P for peso. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, yeah. Well, pounds are LBs they took the P for peso. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, yeah.

Well, pounds are LBs, the other kind of pounds. Oh, that's right. There you go. They call them stones. Now, what's that about, LB? What's the genesis of that? It's something Latin. Got to be Latin.

Yeah. Latin over there. Well, I guess the Romans were the first ones over there, right? Not the first ones over, but they kind of came. First off the boat. Slapped around the locals and took over the Giants. I'm going to write a history book.

And then what happens? It's kind of more influenced by gumshoe detectives in the 40s. But it's history. The Romans breezed in. All my knowledge of British history comes from the opening ceremonies of the last Olympics. And then Pink Floyd came along. Listen up, you fur-clad mugs.

We're taking over. Slap on a tunic, you dirtbag. Show some respect. What happened to the Romans? Well, I forget. Maybe some money would jog my memory. Maybe some LBs. Do you have a scene like that where you have to pay off a – like is there a snitch in the movie?

No. A stoolie? No, there's no stoolie. There's no snitch. You can only cram in so many – Clichés. On-the-nose clichés. I mean it's – I'm really happy with how it turned out.

I was very happy with the script when I wrote it. But, you know. Great work. Really, you're sitting alone in your basement. You're going, I don't know if anybody else will like this. It's hard to be objective. I tried to pride myself on being objective. And I liked the movie.

So then, you know, you've got to start sharing it with people. You've got to start spreading it around. And I got very good feedback from people who've read a lot of scripts. And everybody who kind of had to be on board really liked the script. It was the thing that first got people interested in saying, yeah, well, let's, let's have some meetings. Cause this could really, uh, work. So at the end of the day, it's, uh, there's a lot of stuff that has to hold together. My big fear was with this murder mystery, you know, was getting murdered.

Like you do anytime you're hunched over a typewriter. You know you're going to get clanged in the head with something. No, my fear was like I would go, okay, I put this great thing together and we make the movie. And then some smartass watching it goes, well, why didn't he just do the obvious thing that I should have seen, right? But you get too close to it and you can't see it. So that was my big fear. Well, that's like now there's so many plots. The old plots, if there was a cell phone, if one person had a cell phone, the whole plot would undo in about 30 seconds.

But it's just you just have to adapt the story, right? It's like when telephones first came along or people getting radio news or something like that. You had to adapt from the old, you know, Edgar Allen Poe mysteries. So you just have to adapt. Oh, my radio is down to one bar. The raven did it. So you just adapt like, you know, because when you're writing it and it's contemporary, you're aware of the limitations or what your abilities are to communicate information.

So that's how the story manifests itself. Do cell phones get in the way? I feel like that was a big thing in the old time. I think, yeah. Like if I were writing a script now, I would set it in the 70s. Just like pre-cell phone. Yeah. Because I feel like.

Pre-internet. Yeah. There was a lot of stuff that if one guy could just quickly, oh, I'm just going to double check on that thing. Nope. She wasn't there. Well, in my movie, it was driving people nuts because one of my characters was on a pay phone. Yeah. And everybody was like, well, why the hell would that person be on a pay phone?

You know, if you use your head when you're watching the movie, you realize there's a reason for it. Right. I don't want to give it all away here on the podcast. Who's going to run out? You get the podcast for free. Yeah. Sit here and listen to my movie.

No, this episode costs as much as a movie. Yeah. You don't get any of that. Do I get a slice of that? A slice of that plum? Man, he does know all the terms. So when can people expect this movie? No, you never expect it.

I don't know. Smarter people than me will figure that out. Sometime in the winter is when, that's the word, when it'll be released. But the distributors, I imagine, so it's distributed by E1 Films in Canada. Oh, yeah. And Myriad Pictures, the rest of the world.

So they'll kind of decide ultimately where and when. They have some formula, I imagine. What Hollywood blockbuster do we not want to get steamrolled by? Do we care if this kid gets steamrolled? I still refer to myself as a kid, 46. It's my first movie, so I feel new. I feel brand new. I feel like a kid.

I remember when The Phantom Menace came out. The Star Wars film. The Star Wars film. And there was only one movie that came out in the theater opposite that. Like, every other movie was like, just don't. Just let them have the whole weekend. And the other movie was the Super Dave movie. And like, well, there's one guy who's going to do it.

He's fearless. Super Dave is fearless. Did you see the commercials for this movie by the guy who does the ShamWow commercials? Oh, yeah. That's crazy. He did a movie? He did a movie. But it's not about the ShamWow.

No. What is he, nuts? Your name is the ShamWow guy. Yeah, that's what it says, directed by the ShamWow guy. The ShamWow-tino. He had to get around the movie cameras. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It doesn't pick up water anymore, but it is.

I hope he's not listening to this right now, stealing my movie ideas. ShamWow guy. What's his movie about? It's like a bunch of sketches, I think. Yeah, it's like the Kentucky Fried movie. It's like Movie 43, but just as unsuccessful. It opened last weekend or a couple weeks ago and apparently made something like $600 per screen. I think it was lower than that even.

It was like a record. $600 total? Nationwide gross, $600. Refresh my memory. What did it cost to make this again? It cost us $500, right guys? Yes. In the neighborhood of.

Cost us twice that. Wasn't there, like, Lindsay Lohan is in it or something? She's in the new Scary movie. She's making good decisions. They don't care. Absolutely. She's making good decisions career-wise. Is she pregnant?

No, but her boob fell out of her dress. She was in a helicopter, her boob fell out of her dress. She was in a helicopter, her boob fell out of her dress. Oh, that's a long fall. Well, she tweeted that she was pregnant, but she tweeted the day after April Fool's Day, so people were confused. Idiot. She can't run April Fool's right. Is that something we were doing in second grade? Yeah, yeah.

She shows up late for April Fool's right. Something we were doing in second grade. Yeah, yeah. She shows up late for April Fool's Day. Are you an April Fool's guy or have you ever been? No, I've never, I was never into it. I even, I said on Twitter, I said I like the April Fool's jokes that are over quick. Like, we're out of milk, just kidding, here it is.

To me, that's the ideal April Fool's joke. No harm done. You got me for a second. And I don't have to deal with this in any way. Here it is. To me, that's the ideal April Fool's joke. No harm done. You got me for a second. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I don't have to deal with this in any way. I like that. I don't like lengthy. I also don't like, like, some people have no concept of a gag. What a joke is.

Yeah. Of a gag that's like, wow, there's just, that was just a lie. There's nothing funny to it. There's no enjoyment. People just lie to you. But there's no twist-a-roo. There's no. I had a time a guy, a comic.

You guys may both know him. I won't say his name. But we weren't having a good time on the road. But anyway, he said to me. I think he was unaware that we weren't having a good time on the road. But he said to me. We're checking out of the hotel. And he goes, hey, you left your wallet back in the hotel. And I said, no, it's right here in my pants.

Ah, sucked you in. I actually said to him, what, sucked me into talking to you? That's the gag? Yeah, sucker. Silent treatment's over. That's what the trip was like. I saw a photo of a real – I thought it was a very, very clever prank on – it was on Reddit. And it was somebody – you know, like a popular motif of a prank is like to fill somebody's room with like balloons or something like that while they're out of town for a weekend.

Fill their cubicle with something or something like that. Fill their life with miseries. These guys made it look like there's an office window and an office door. And through the window, it looked like it had just – like the whole office was filled with packing peanuts. And there was packing peanuts coming out from under the door. But that's all they did was just around the window and just under the door. But when you looked at it, it looked like, ah, fuck you guys. A hundred tons of packing peanuts.

Yeah, you should be able to murder somebody if they – somebody actually did that. Yeah, yeah. Because if you have – if you get one package that murder somebody if somebody actually did that. Yeah, yeah. Because if you get one package that has a few packing peanuts in it, you're dealing with that for a year, right? That's right. You're finding that stuff. People are like, you got something in your eyebrow like six months later. I had a shower this morning. How do I have a piece of styrofoam peanut in my eyebrow?

Yeah, that's true. It's in your cereal. What the hell? But you're right. If somebody did that in – well, I mean, I assume that it's not people below this person putting stuff in their boss's office. I assume. I assume this is an underling who just has to take it to the man. Guess what, boss?

Do they even use packing peanuts anymore? They shouldn't. Oh, yeah. You're Amazons. Amazon uses little bags. Oh, the airbags. Yeah. Abby and I got...

We didn't know the technical term. The bag full of air. Yeah. You're referring to an airbag. Abby and I got these. We ordered a shelf online. You mean a book holder? Yeah.

The technical term for the device you're referring to. Gravity fighter. I guess it uses gravity too. Yeah. And it came with these bubble wrap. Oh, bubble wrap. But it's not poppable. Oh, it just flows into the next bubble.

Yeah, every bubble's attached to the next bubble. It's very frustrating. Yeah, that's not fun. Yeah, that would be, gah, I gotta hear a pop. You know how bubble wrap is no fun for anybody? Everybody in the music. Yeah, I hate it. It's the worst, anybody? Everybody in the music. Yeah. Least fun thing on the planet.

Thumbs down. Ooh, thumbs. Yeah. That would be, that was at every, like, you know how,

if you say, if you worked for like Coca-Cola, every meeting you would go to would have Coke products, like in the meeting room. I wonder if a bubble wrap company would have just like now insist you cannot play with this oh yeah what do you do if you're stressed out at a bubble wrap company and you just don't want to be any bubble wrap they have a shooting range in the basement yeah one of those squeeze balls they have cage fights in the cafeteria.

Cage fight Tuesday. Oh, yeah. Salisbury steak. Salisbury steak. It's always red meat on cage fight Tuesday. Usually veal. Testosterone levels up. Oh, man.

Well, I cannot wait. I cannot wait to see this movie. This is so exciting. I'm hoping that soon I will. Oh, I just created a, because you know I'm Twitter nuts, I created an account for the movie. But I haven't released it to the public yet because I've got to wait for the green light from the distributors. So your tweet's set to private right now? It's not set to private. It's just I haven't told anybody.

Oh. If you're clever, you's not set to private. It's just I haven't told anybody. Oh. And you don't know the name of the movie. If you're clever, you could probably track it down. Well, you know what I did? Well, here's the thing. I'm not. I went to register at No Clue Movie. Right.

Taken. Right? One of the odds of that. And then there's part of me that goes, hang on, I registered No Clue Movie like when we started doing this. What could possibly be? And then I couldn't think of like I have numerous email accounts. It doesn't come to any one of those. I can't find the password.

I got so – I'm convinced that I've screwed myself out of No Clue Movie. This is the first clue. Yeah, this is the first clue. The mystery. So it's not No Clue Movie. That's right. Yeah, because at No Clue Movie was taken by a guy who was protesting the movie Clue. I don't like these alternate endings.

It should just be a board game. No Clue Movie. Oh, man. Good stuff all around. Yeah. Dave, what's going on with you? Before we move on to me, let's take a quick break to talk about, well, I mean, we're not going to take a quick break. We're just going to keep talking, right?

Yeah, absolutely. Right now, listeners, we are in the middle of, we're starting week two of this year's Max Fun Drive. We're hip deep and the water's fine. Is that an expression? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course it is. Now, every year, it's but two weeks a year,

we ask our listeners to reach, dig deep. Reach, dig deep. No clue movie. And think about, just think about it. Yeah. And the more you think about it, the more you'll see the light. Yeah, yeah just think about it. Yeah. And the more you think about it, the more you'll see the light.

Yeah, yeah. Think about it, then do it. You can donate to MaximumFun.org. It's very easy. Just go to MaximumFun.org, click on Donate. It takes a couple of minutes. And we encourage you as listeners, if you listen to the program all the time, become a monthly donor at any level.

There's a bunch of different levels you can donate at, anywhere from $5 a month to $10 to $20, $35, all the way up to $200. These are numbers. I like that $35 is one of the options. Oh, yeah. It's really threw it in kind of. I mean, it's not $50, but. Yeah, exactly. $40 seems like. It's like threw it in kind of. I mean, it's not 50, but. Yeah, exactly. 40 seems like.

It's like a dollar a day. 20 is a little. 50 is kind of. Yeah, exactly. 35 is kind of. Yeah, that's right. Just right. I can do a little more than a dollar a day.

Somebody's saying it there. Yeah. I can do about a dollar point eight a day. In February, I'm really stretching, but it's worth there. Yeah. I can do about a dollar point A today. Yeah. In February, I'm really stretching, but it's worth it. Yeah. Oh, absolutely. Yeah. You got to double down some of those days.

Yeah, yeah. And your donations go to help us bring the show to you. Mm-hmm. For free. We've been secretly recording this show for 264 episodes. What the deuce? And most of the money goes to cloak and dagger techniques to keep us unaware of the fact that we are being recorded. Yeah, yeah.

Hypnosis. Camouflage. A Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy. Yeah. A series of exotic lovers. No, it goes to things like, you know. Equipment. Yeah.

Hosting fees. The like. Yeah. Taxicabs for our guests. Drinky poos for our guests. Sometimes in that order. And drinky poos for me. We're going to get to what i'm drinking later

yeah exactly oh boy let's just say this drink doesn't grow on trees i don't know what that um i'm hip drinking my drink and it's feeling tree i don't know i'm gonna oh too many sayings we're trying to mash together here um and every level has different pledge gifts, which we'll get to later in the show. But another thing worth mentioning is that if you're already a donor, you can, if you want to continue to donate, you can up your donation and receive the prizes that go along with the different membership levels. I'll explain all that. That all makes sense. That was clear. Crystal, if anybody didn't get that, you're not going to help them.

This is one of these teasers that really wets people's appetite. But basically, chances are, if you listen to us week in, week out, you've considered donating if you don't already. And if you have considered, now is the time to do it because you get these prizes. And every donor who donates during this MaxFunDrive, current donors will match your donations with a certain, like every new donor we pull on board. Some current donors have banded together and come and this is some tough math.

This works. If you sign on board to become a donor We have match donors. Yeah. Our challenge donors will match your donations. Each donor will get us another $5. My Pops is one of those. They listen to the show every week, my mom and dad,

and he's one of those match donors. So is this a case of, let's say I'm a match donor. Okay. I'm not. I want to legally state here and now that I'm not obligated in any way. And your lawyer tells you to do everything. I know. So he's just standing in the corner right now, shaking his head menacingly.

So if I'm a match donor, but I'm a guy who donates, let's say, at the $35 level, the nice round $35 level, somebody comes along for $50 a month. Have I agreed to then say, okay, I'll go up $15 a month? No, no, no. Basically, these generous match donors have said, for every new person who joins up, I will give another $0.25.

And then, altogether, it's over $5 per new person who signs up. That's right. So that was – It's like a fun run. Yeah, that was a mathematical road we didn't need to go down. Just send in some money. Come on, you guys.

Yeah, if you would like to donate, we'd sure appreciate it. Open up your peso sacks. Head over to MaximumFun.org and click on Donate. Now, Dave, what's going on with you? Okay. Now to me. Well, before we get – Hang on a second.

So if I'm a pledge guy – Yeah. Go back to that. If I'm a challenge donor – Now, let's say that I'm a dog. I'm a pit bull. Say I'm pledging a fraternity. Is that the same thing?

So here's what's up. Before we get to what's up, and believe me, it's been a big week. I was at the exotic... Marigold? Yep. I've seen that movie. I was salmon fishing in the Yemen. And I...

No, I was at the exotic corner store that has all the fancy uh beverages and i saw that they had yoohoo and i've never had yoohoo in my life have either of you who no i always when i would see an ad for you who on tv i would think to myself rich kids drink that's something rich kids would have this is what they pour on their cereal but i grew up kind of i kind of anything that had a label on it's something rich kids would have. This is what they pour on their cereal. But I grew up kind of – I kind of thought anything that had a label on it was something rich people have. I didn't even think we had it in Canada. Well, we've come a long way.

We probably didn't. I think when we were kids, there was no Yoo-Hoo in Canada. Yeah, well, that's why it's at the exotic store. I thought Yoo-Hoo was a yop. I thought those were the same thing. I thought this was a yogurt drink. They're bitter rivals. You got to make your – you've become a Yoo-Hoo was a yop. I thought those were the same thing. I thought this was a yogurt drink. They're bitter rivals. You got to make your choice. You've become a Yoo-Hoo guy now.

Oh, yeah. There's no going to yop now. Yeah, I'm a yop guy. Is he a yop guy? I'm a super socko guy. Flavored milk. Yeah, got a mean super socko for kids on the go. Just go to a bar.

What do you guys got? What kind of drinks do you make with Super Saco? I have a vodka and Super Saco. I want to throw up. Can I speak to the manager then? Was Super Saco a milk-based thing? It was. It was flavored milk.

So it would be like, I never had one, but I understand they were like, many of them were berry flavored. But they were in like a juice box. Like a squeezy juice box. Yeah. Oh, man. There's like some dairy farmer like, if I can just move a couple more gallons a month, I can retire. One of the cows got into the blueberry patch. I can't dump all this.

I got to. I can't pasteurize it out. I can't dump all this. I can't pasteurize it out. Okay, so do you know what Yoohoo is? I thought it was like carbonated chocolate milk. That's the worst idea I've ever heard. That's why I never drank it. I never was even curious.

What is it then? I don't know. It's a chocolate thing. It looks like chocolate milk. But it a chocolate thing. It's a chocolate drink. It looks like chocolate milk. But it's not milk. It's clearly water. Well, it has...

The main ingredient is water. Followed by corn syrup. And then a couple question marks. And then huey. Huey? Huey? Yeah. Do you know the huey?

Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Oh, wait. They have high fructose corn syrup. Low fructose corn syrup. No, I'm serious. Really? High fructose corn syrup, Hue, sugar, corn syrup solids.

Wow. Yeah, I bet it's going to taste. You know what? I think my guess is it's going to taste like a caramel, like a craft caramel. All right. That's what I think it's going to taste like. I think it's going to taste like kissing a crackhead.

On the mouth? What's the calorie count on that? So you're looking at, what's that, 375 milliliters? 350? 458 milliliters, yeah. Wow, yeah.

That's good value. Calories, do you want any guesses? It's not in the four digits but it's close 12 000 five digits yeah only 260 wow earth calories no space calories where nothing weighs anything nothing weighs anything all right i'm gonna uh go in yeah yeah well there was some good soundage. Yeah. Woo.

Way. You can hear the way. It's fine. Yeah? What does it taste like? Compare it to chocolate milk. Like a Nestle Quick kind of a. Yeah, I don't know. Or as I grew up in Saskatchewan, Vico.

Oh my. Is that V-I-K-O? V-I-C-O. I don't know what that is. I don't know. All we knew growing up as Vico was chocolate milk. And was that powder? I was inebriated in Los Angeles one time trying to get a Vico.

I was screaming for Vico. No, this is, no, here's how I would compare it to it. It's not as good. It's not as good. It's not as good as chocolate milk. Can I have a sip? Yeah, okay. Yeah, why not? Even though it has nine kinds of sugar in there?

It's got soy in it. Can you drink soy? Mm-hmm. Nom, nom, nom. Nom, nom, nom, nom. It does. It tastes like a caramel. It says shake it with an exclamation mark above it.

Like, for the love of God, shake this. Because it would just be like a salad dressing. It would be just water and then just fudge on the bottom. Those corn syrup solids, they're solid. So that was a fun trip down future memory lane. My lawyer is shaking his head.

He knows there's lawsuits flying from the Yoo-Hoo people. Oh, sorry, it's Yoo-Hoo-M. The British drink. Oh, sorry. It's Yoo-Hoo. Yoo-Hoo. The British drink. Yeah. The classy drink. Yoo-Hoo.

Oh, I can tell that this is from America because it doesn't have any French on the label. Oh, yes. Do you know what you mean? Lately, I've got a bee in my bonnet about the term America. How they just – so there's one country in the Americas. Granted, they're the tall dog. Yeah. But, you know, America references these two continents, right?

North America, South America. Right. Discovered by? Amerigo. Vespucci. Vespucci. Yeah. The pooch.

Amerigo Vespucci. The spooch. Yeah. Another continent from this guy. The spooch. What's up, spooch. The spooch. Yeah. Another continent from this guy. The spooch. What's up, spooch? But so they're the United States of America.

Of America, yeah. They couldn't even get together to make one country. They're just a bunch of states. A bunch of states. Of America. Which was the initial, the original name was Bunch of States of America. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because early they weren't united. Remember, they were fighting. They were a bunch of them. Yeah, they were a bunch of them, but we yeah because at early they weren't united remember they were fighting they were a bunch of them yeah they were a bunch of them but we're not really on the same

page about a lot of stuff so we're not really united that came later early on it was just bunch of states of america bsa they went with just states for a while states we still call them states of amer. The states. Yeah. So I make a point now saying the states. The United States of America. Because you know why? Especially because of Central America.

Central America must have a real being in mind about this. So you guys are, we're Central America, but you guys are America. Yeah. I always thought it was weird that like the Midwest and Midwest and the Middle East are, like, way different. Way different. So much colder in the Midwest. You'd think North, but Midwest, very, very cold. They're on the same latitude, apparently.

One's East, one's West. Yeah, they're just the middle. It's also the Pacific Northwest. The Pacific Northwest. But people from the Pacific Northwest will tell people in Vancouver that they're from the Pacific Northwest. They're all south of us. Yeah, everything you guys have is south,

except if you were in Alaska, then that's really the Pacific Northwest. Or we refer to Asia as the east and Europe as the west, and yet you have to go west to Asia and never mind. Oh, it's true. Well, it's like here in Vancouver, you got to go east to New Westminster. You got to go east to New West from Vancouver. When I first moved to Vancouver-

And West Vancouver and North Vancouver. West Vancouver and East Vancouver don't touch. They're completely different. West Vancouver is right beside North Vancouver. Yeah. You know how on a compass, West and North are right beside each other? Sort of. One of those compasses that are just spinning.

Yeah. When I first came here. With your compass is square. I feel like I'm telling the same stories as the whole last time I was here. But when I first moved to Vancouver, I was very thrown by, there's West End, there's West Van, and there's West Side. Yeah. Wait, where's the West Side? West Side is everything that isn't the East Side.

Coming from a bar, you know, getting into a cab, and then suddenly I'm on a bridge. And I'm like, I don't remember taking a bridge to the bar. Only about ten blocks. Oh, no. Oh, I said West Van. I meant West End. Well, leave me at one of these mansions. Doesn't matter.

I only got two dollars. And that's how he became the nanny. That is an excellent premise or something. I got dumped at the wrong place. Yeah, but it's in the hoity-toity part of town. Yeah, the day that they're expecting their new butler. Right? That could be like the sequel to the nanny. The day they're expecting their new...

Yeah, our new butler should be here. Let's clean up. And Brent shows up drunk. Well, he seems jovial enough. When your new butler shows up, do you clean up so he doesn't run away at how filthy you are? I know you're asking us as though we hire butlers. You're outgoing butler. It's a part of the butler's code.

Oh, right. Yeah. Don't get high on your own supply. Yeah. Don't get clean on your own machine. Wouldn't you be like, suddenly landed into $50 million or something. Okay.

Let's say, and you find yourself, let's say you win the Yoo-Hoo lawsuit. Okay. And you're able to counter suit for $50 million. If I keep drinking this. Oh, by the way, can I read something off the bottle? Do you know who makes it?

Nope. It is, oh, where was it? Marlboro. Borax. From the people who brought you. I don't, I can't find it anymore, but, oh, no, I looked it up on Wikipedia earlier. That's what it was. It's made by the Dr. Pepper Snapple Group, which I did not know were a group.

I didn't know that either. Wow. It's like, that's like something you would hear at a beverage conference. You're sitting over there with the Dr. Pepper Snapple Group. Yeah, yeah, wow. It's like – that's like something you would hear at a beverage conference. There's something over there with the Dr. Pepper Snapple Group. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Your brown drinks. They're not affiliated legally, but they're at the same table at the BevCon 2013. I think it says refrigerate after opening like this is a – like you're just going to put it in your coffee.

Well, you don't want it to lose its fizziness. That's right. The only carbonated chocolate. Is there carbonated coffee? Is that a thing that's out there? There ought to be. Speaking of $50 million. I mean.

If that isn't a rocket ride to the top, I don't know what is. Carbonated coffee. There's a beer. We could call it Starbucks. There's, whoa. I'm an idea machine. Coffee infused beer. I don't get

Starbucks. Oh, because you drink carbonated drinks. It's a bit of a reach. Call me on it in front of everybody.

Dress me down in front of the public. Do you only drink, is it straw? Anyway. You know there is. It's good. Straw of the public. Do you only drink... Is it straw? Anyway. You know there is. It's good. Straw Bucks was great.

I only drink soda pop and gin through a straw. That's it. Would you have it cold or hot? Which? The carbonated coffee. It seems like it'd be dangerous if it was hot. This is one of those things. You...

Marketing, you create two factions. Are you on the cold side? Are you on the hot side? Are you on the hot side? You pit them against each other. I'm a mom on the go. I like mine hot. You're a crazy lady. Some guy jogging by with a nice cold carbonated coffee.

Yeah, pouring it all over his head. That's not like some hot. Are you kidding me? That's what some like it hot's about. Well, nobody's perfect. It's the remake. Here's what's up with me. Big trouble in my backyard right now. That was a Kurt Russell movie.

Yeah. Right now, our deck is being, it's torn up. And the back door is blocked off. So today, there was a squirrel just had the run of the place. Oh, yeah. No one could, like, usually I'd go out there and chase them. What a grouch. Hey, get out of here.

You damn squirrels. You yell squirrel and Dave runs to the window. Eating all the nuts. He's like a dog who's come to life. Like some Disney movie where he's the shaggy podcaster. The shaggy podcaster. He's doing a podcast until he sees a squirrel and he's gone. Who's that squirrel?

The male lady's here. Uh-oh. Podcast over. Yeah. Who's that squirrel? The mail lady's here. Uh-oh. Podcast over. Yeah. Beware of dude. Oh, that's the poster. We're doing some great marketing for some terrible products. If you have a product and you don't know how to market it, email us.

So I thought what I could do to scare off this squirrel, I just wanted to test out how good I was at doing sounds. So Michael Winslow got started? Yeah. Squirrel Trouble? Next thing you know. Oh man, that should be the name of the movie, Squirrel Trouble. Squirrel Academy. I would watch that.

And then I quickly realized I don't know what squirrels are afraid of. Nothing. They're fearless. City squirrels are not afraid of anything, really. So I started with this one. Which means, is anybody home? It's like every bird in the tree. If squirrels were afraid of that sound, they would all be white squirrels.

Terrified, shock white fur from all the bird sounds. Yeah, it was a little bit that and maybe a little bit the button it makes when you go through a crosswalk or through a... Oh, okay. Yeah. For the blind street crossers. Ooh, good band name. Yep. Sure.

And then the next sound I made, I thought I would up the bird ante, and I did... And nothing. The squirrel just kept... It had something it was chomping on. Probably a nut. I think it might have been a cigarette butt. As he was eating, he was going, speaking of

nuts, look at this guy over here with the crazy bird sounds. Squirrel Academy. Have you guys been over to Birdie Magoo's house? I'm going to see if I can get him to do an owl. If you see squirrels high-fiving because somebody had a bet he could get you

to do an owl. I bet him had a bet he'd do an owl. I bet him six nuts he wouldn't do an owl. And then I realized I don't do many more sounds than that. So I started doing some clicking. Yeah. Nothing? Nothing. I think that's the sound they make.

Yeah. And then... And then you pull out your gun. Then I realized, oh, here's one that usually works on the dog. I went. And that the thing that happened was it did work on the dog and he just started barking and then the squirrel ran away. Oh. So, yeah, just sick a dog on them. Yeah.

You and Grandpa need to start working as a team earlier in this process. Yeah, we can solve your squirrel problems. My dog, this is how I think my dog is kind of smart. For a dog. I'm not going to let him do my taxes. For a dog, he's pretty smart. We noticed early on,

and this is one of the things when he would, you know, when he first saw a squirrel, he kind of wanted to go after the squirrel. He realized early on, I can't catch these damn things. I can climb up trees. He's the same with crows. The first couple times he tried to chase a crow and they fly away. So he just does not pay them in.

No, never mind now. He strolls past all, no, never mind. Squirrels right beside him. Crows. He's like, I can't get any of you anyway. What about a cat? If he saw a cat? He is classic when it comes to cats.

Hackles go up. He's like a classic cartoon dog when he sees a cat. He does all but roll up his sleeves when he sees a cat. He's right. What about fire hydrants? Classic. I've always got, I try to have my phone handy with my camera on it so that, because he, you know, there's a fire hydrant at the end of the block and he likes to lift a leg on that. And it is classic looking.

Doesn't he know he's setting his people back a generation with that kind of behavior? Why fight it? He says he says wow i don't think i've seen a a dog chasing a cat in real life for oh yeah they they they love it yeah i remember they'll never catch a flashback when you said that my father who um amused the hell out of me when i was a kid he's very funny guy. Big into puns. That was his forte. But I remember him saying one time, this isn't a pun, but he was real hot in the summer, and he came home and he said,

man, it was hot out there. I saw a coyote chasing a rabbit, and they were both walking. I thought that was hilarious. I laughed for like, I was on the phone to my buddies. Boy, it's hot out there, hey? You know what I saw? Immediately. Setting up your friends. How hot is it?

What do you think the weather's out there today? What do you feel like with the weather? I just was reading the papers. Really hot in Phoenix. Probably so hot. Oh, man. That is good, though. That is a good descriptor. Yeah. Oh, man. That is good, though. That is a good descriptor.

Yeah. Oh, man. Or maybe they're just really tired. Yeah, true. They've been running for a long time. Yeah, or maybe one of them is T-1000. I don't get that. Does he break into a run in Terminator 2?

Yeah, he. He ran... T-1000 was the... I didn't get the reference. He was the liquid guy. Yeah. He was the liquid guy. The T-1000? Yeah.

You don't usually use 1,000 for something futuristic. Yeah. That's a brazen call in there. I think that's pretty bold in there. The T-87. They started, they just, every robot was just the next increment up. Yeah. The T-92.

Under the T-92. Well, when you, if you're a robot that has like a many thousands after your name, it's kind of like if you're a guy driving a sports car, people think you're compensating. Right. So you want to keep it down. Yeah.

I'm T-1000, ladies. I'm like the robot you'd find in the year 1000 AD. Who are you trying to call a squirrel? He's trying to scare a squirrel. He's scaring them away. Now, Graham, what's up with you, my friend? scare them away uh now graham what's up with you my friend um uh earlier in the week i was a part of a school tour uh that uh for this website that's uh called shit harper did right it's uh it's about this really bad dog yeah it's just pictures of this dog with a sign around his neck of all the crazy things he's gotten up to.

And it was a tour of different universities. And the last stop on the tour, it was like 5 o'clock in the afternoon was when the show was. When were the other shows? Maybe a bit later, like 7. But 5 o'clock like still the sun is very uh people are starting yeah and the poster featured very prominently that there was going to be free pizza at this event that i think the headliner was free pizza yeah and uh and uh it's crazy how crazy people go for free pizza. Like adult people, myself included.

Like if there's free pizza, you'll eat it? Like I wasn't even hungry? Well, because pizza is the most expensive food. Yeah. Carbonated pizza. Pizza pops. Pizza straw. Straw pizza.

Straza. Bubbles-a. Do you like it hot or cold? I like my straws are cold You said you were touring schools with this? Yeah Talking to students? Yeah

It seems a little political Yeah, it was very political I didn't think that was I guess in universities it's different Yeah In public schools you just go around land-based one particular party. So vote for the other guys. See you, kids.

Oh, you can't vote? Damn it. Damn it. What a waste of time. At least I got this pizza. Hound your parents to vote. If your parents love you. Yeah, it was, you know, it was like it was less about the website.

It was more about engaging in political activism. So there was presentations and stuff. And I was kind of the warm up guy. And yeah, it's just like this pizza. And there was pop. There was pop because whenever there was free pizza. You guys must have been so good to earn that. Oh, man.

You opened for pizza. The pizza was the headliner. The emcee was ambivalent. I was the middler. And then you got the closing it up, free pizza. Pizza and pop. And then we were all – it was myself and past guests, the Sunday service were there as well. It's the Sunday service.

We're there as well. And we were talking about, you know, when you're a kid, there was hot dog day in school maybe or a pizza day. And how both pizza and hot dogs never have tasted as good as when they were on that particular day when you were a kid. Do you have a food like that? Like as a grown-up? Yeah, like hot dogs for me, that was as good as a hot dog has ever tasted. Well, do you remember, did you ever have sports day? Yeah, we had that. And that was like a day you would do three-legged races and throw a bean bag.

How far can you jump? Yeah. Egg on a spoon. I don't know why they added fatty at the end of that. How far can you jump, fatty? at the end of that. How far could you jump, Fatty? But they,

for some reason, I feel like we had, they had donuts and hot dogs and stuff, but you had to pre-register for them. Like, you had to, you showed your consent form from your parents

and you gave like $7 over to whoever. Says, I do not have diabetes on the form. Pardon me, whomever. And they said, okay, you got one Long John and a slice of pizza or something. Yeah, Long John.

That's another thing. There's no way that I've had a Long John that's tasted as good as the kid version. Yeah, yeah. Oh, absolutely. Everything you liked as a kid. Yeah, but I think I tried coffee when I was a kid and I hated it. That's true.

I loved coffee right away, I got to say. Really? Coffee and cigarettes I enjoyed right away. Yeah, I enjoyed cigarettes from the first cigarette. Yeah. Well, the first time, you know, as kids we sneaked a cigarette and my friends were coughing horribly. Yeah. And I was kind of like, ooh, I get it.

Yeah. I get what all the, now I understand these old movies. You were like the nutty professor's alter ego. Suddenly wearing a smoking jacket. Yeah, playing the piano. Yeah, no, I just got on board with the idea right away. Yeah, I was the same with cigarettes with my – like because I took one drag and my friend said like, oh, you got to breathe it in. And then I did that and I was like, oh, hey.

Hey. Yes, please. NC Willie adults are all crazy about these things. Do you have to breathe it in? Can you fill your mouth with it and have it go out your nose without breathing it in? I don't know. Yeah. That's what I think a lot of kids, when they smoke, they just breathe it in and hold it in their mouth and then blow it out.

And then they go, ooh, that's gross. This looks cool. But can you get it to go up your nose? I think you can. You can cycle it. So it doesn't go in your lungs. It bypasses your lungs. It's a bit of a trick, though. I think you got to.

Yeah. But for me, it was just the whole thing, how they smoked in the movies. I was enjoying that. Let's not reinvent the wheel here. But blowing smoke out of your nose, that's gross, right? Like, that's not fun even if you're a hardcore smoker.

If you're mad. It's a good way to signal that you're mad. Yeah. It gives people a warning. Yeah, yeah. Like, if you don't have hackles, it can go up. If you're a bull, that's great.

Snort. If someone pierced your nose like that. Sure. I like to blow smoke up my nose and paw the ground there's also another way to let them know i don't like the cut of their jib but yeah anyways it was just uh it was a real it was a real trip down uh yeah no that's a thing like uh uh like getting treats when you're a kid like yeah it's something you could do anytime like we were good so the teacher let us have pizza and watch a movie oh yeah that's every night for me yeah but these are like university students and then i was like even if you were a middle-aged

person and they were like hey we got free pizza you'd line up yeah line up with a napkin it was quite exciting really yeah exactly I'm intrigued by the notion right now. Like, if you were at the bank and they had free pizza and pop day at the bank, there'd be lineups down the block. In Scarface when they bring in those duffel bags full of pizza? Where am I

supposed to put this? At the end, the guy's like, I'm full. It's maybe a real value-based system. Like, if somebody said $200 pizza, you'd go, this is terrible. This is horrible. You're charging $200 for that? Once you slot free on something, you can't get any, you know, aside from them paying you to eat the stuff, then you're going to be suspicious.

You can't enjoy the pie. They're paying me to eat it. They just slide a dollar across the table. Free is the perfect thing They're paying me to eat it. It's like a lab experiment. Free is the perfect thing to make you go, hot damn. This is worth every penny. Because 99 cent pizza, I mean, we can all afford that. It's not any good. No, it's no good.

Because it's right there. It's too on the nose. It's too exactly what this is worth. But yeah, it's yeah, anyways, so that's what's up with me, man. Pizza and pot, free Zara. Yeah. And Cameron Harper. That's right.

Because you know what? No free pizza from his administration. I got paid to do a show like for all the politicians in Ottawa one time, right? Like they were there? Flaherty was there. Joe Flaherty from SCTV? Joe Flaherty.

And Iggy at the time, Ignatief was there. Oh, yeah. Everybody except Harper was, I think he was away in Asia or something, but his wife was there. Laureen and the kids actually came and picked me up at the airport with like the RCMP and everything, you know, it was quite a to do. This is amazing. Yeah. So this is, these are the circles that I, uh, this was Wednesday.

No, this was, I don't know, like three, four years ago. Oh, it was prime. Uh, yeah. So there was like this big, you know, politicians conference and they wanted some entertainment. So they hired me to come in and I'm not an overtly political dude. Right. Yeah. So that's kind of, that was the gist of my, that was the crux of my speech was how I didn't

know or care. And I don't know any of you. I don't know. With the exception of one of you. Hello, Mr. Dryden. Big fan. Right. The hockey player turned politician.

Is he a senator? Not at the time. He was running for the liberal leadership. Right. The hockey player turned politician. Is he a senator? Not at the time. He was running for liberal leadership. Oh. He was the only guy wearing a jersey. Wearing a mask. I think it was Dryden. He had a mask on. But anyway, I was going off on Harper's

hair. Right. He does have a real funny hair, dude. Because I wanted to take shots at all the politicians, but I'm not politically savvy enough to haul them onto the carpet for their policies that I'm unaware of. So, I made fun of their aesthetic. I thought that

seemed appropriate. Speaking of dumb hair. You know, the crux of it all was like don't take yourself so seriously, guy. None of us knows who you are out there in the real world, right? You're all full of hubbub and all the reporters here at the House of Commons clamoring for your attention. We don't care. We're trying to earn a buck, you know. We don't care.

Who's in charge anyway? Kretchen? Who's in right now? We don't even know out there in the real world. I like that one guy who strangled a protester. Prime Minister strangling. But anyway, I was making fun of Harper's hair because that's, you know, he's got, that's the craziest hair. It's just that solid mass.

Yeah, Ken doll hair. Yeah, it's like a Ken doll hair. But white. Yeah, like if you made a helmet out of hair that's what it would look like yeah lego hair yeah yeah it's like one there's no part it's one fluid for our american listeners uh canada's prime minister uh it's like uh it looks like a well it's can they get kendall like kendall's but like as a human like a grown Well, they get Ken doll. Yeah, Ken dolls. But like as a human, like a grown-up sort of prep school guy.

Yeah, like he's over Barbie. That was his 20s. Yeah, he's like an older Ken doll. He's like salt and pepper Ken doll. Yeah, that's exactly his hairdo. I don't know. Ken's in terrific physical condition. Yeah, and Ken was really handsome. Ken's rimmed.

Yeah. Yeah. Our Prime Minister, hair-wise, Ken. Yeah. Body-wise, Mr. Potato Head, I guess. That's fair, right? That's as good a picture if Mr. Potato Head had Ken doll hair. But like a hot Mr. Potato Head.

On the hot scale, he's somewhere between Ken and the Potato Head. It's a real average run-of-the-mill aesthetic just with the bad hair. That's all of our... And the wolf eyes. Who referred to him? I've heard somebody referred him as Prime Minister Wolf Eyes. Yeah, he does have steely gaze. Yeah, steely blue husky gaze.

Peter Forsberg eyes. That's why he became the leader of our country. He was like the lead dog in a... Yeah, he was the only guy to stare down a wolf. He's like the mush. Like, we're going to lead us. Like, he's the sled dog. Canada is the...

Before he got elected, he peed on the Prime Minister's house. It's mine now. Cratchit had to just pack up. Well, that's the rule. Yeah, that was his campaign poster was him attached to a dog sled. And it was like one of those... One of those political cartoons.

The dog sled is Canada. Oh, yeah. The dog sled is Canada. Oh, yeah. The dog sled is wearing a sash that says Canada. Oh, he's wearing a sash. You're really good at drawing sashes. Have you considered political cartoons? Yeah. Well, should we move on to Overheard?

Yeah. Overheard. Overheard. Now, Overheard is a segment. If you're not familiar with the segments and how they work. Graham, shut up. Oh, yes. Oh, no, I'm scared.

I'm trying to scurry up a tree and I couldn't make it. Before you move on to Overherds, I think it's really important for me to emphasize that Overherds are great. They really, they bring out the best in people. They bring out the worst in devils. Yeah, sure. And people and devils. Dave, shut up. Before we move on to overheards

and whatever you were going to say. Do overheards pay for themselves? Oh yeah. How are overheards financed? Oh wait, no, they don't pay for themselves. Yeah, that's right. They don't pay for themselves? Oh, yeah. Power over its finance. Oh, wait, no, they don't pay for themselves. Yeah, that's right. They don't pay for themselves.

They don't pay for themselves. They, uh, we, uh, as we said earlier, are in the middle of our max fund drive. And usually at this point in the show,

I would be bringing you a little segment called Hulk Hogan News. It's the Hulk Hogan News. It's the Hulk Hogan News. Now, Hulk Hogan, professional wrestler to the news. Now, Hulk Hogan, professional wrestler. Yeah, wrestler.

To the stars. We've been covering his goings on for many years here on the podcast. At least one. Yeah. And a longtime listener named Patrick Roddy. P-Rod. P-Rod. Rod.

He makes all sorts of stuff. He makes stained glass windows and he makes light boxes. Yeah. He's an amazingly talented artist. He made a stained glass Hulk Hogan news. I saw it. I saw it on Twitter. It's amazing, right? It's fantastic.

You hang up in front of a window. It's something you would see in the finest churches of Europe. Yeah. Notre Dame. Yeah. Our brother of the internal leg drop. It's 118 pieces of glass. Of glass.

And he wants to give it away. Yeah. And, guys, it's the greatest. It is really. It cannot say enough good things about how beautiful this thing is. wants to give it away. Yeah. And it's, guys, it's the greatest. It is really. It's, cannot say enough good things about how beautiful this thing is.

It's a likeness of Sir Hulk Hogan. Sir Hulk of Hogan. Yeah. With his bandana. It says HHN on SPY. Hulk Hogan News on Spy. That podcast is yourself.

And we thought, hey,rick made this great thing he wants to give it away let's incorporate that into the max fun drive fun yeah uh and so um as part of the uh the prize giveaways which we'll get to in a moment, we're also going to be giving away this awesome Hulk Hogan stained glass rendering. Yeah, to the person who makes the best tweet during the MaxFunDrive

that hashtags the tweet with MaxHulkDrive. Yeah, MaxHulkDrive is your hashtag, and you also need to incorporate the address MaximumFun.org slash donate. You can shorten it with a bit.ly. Yeah, and wow us. Wow us and you could be sitting at home staring up at this Hulk Hogan stained glass window.

I'll post a picture of it on the recap blog of this episode. Guys, you're going to want this. Look, if you don't bring it in this Twitter thing, I want it in my own home. Yeah, exactly. I'll do a better tweet than you. That's true. Now, Dave, you mentioned

prizes. What other gifts and prizes can people get from donating to Max Fun Drive? Not only do you get the satisfaction and the great feeling of week after week knowing that you've donated to a show that you love. Hey, look at you. You also get, if you donate at any level, you will get a bunch of free bonus episodes. I guess they're not free. You're donating.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Doy Day. Oh boy. You'll get these bonus episodes and you'll also get every past bonus episode that we've recorded for Fun Drives in the past. Excitement, she wrote. Three or four past episodes. Now, if you donate at the $5 per month episode

$5 per month episode. $5 per month level. Episode. $5 per month level. If you're a new donor or a previous donor who is upping your donation, then you will get the MaxFun earbuds. No, that's $10. Oh, pardon me. At that $5, you get the exclusive bonus content. At $10 a month, you get these earbuds.

And they're emblazoned with the Maximum Fun Rocket logo. And so you can show those off to all your, you know. People who look at your ears. Yeah, exactly. People on Skype. Yeah. Pervs. Pervs, yeah.

Fellow bus mates. Yeah. Now, in Et cetera. Pervs. Yep. Fellow bus mates. Yeah. Now, in when you- You got me an ear fetish. I'm like the Quentin Tarantino of ears. At the $20 a month level, oh boy. Yeah, yeah. Hubba hubba.

You get a sex kit. Yeah. It's true. It's true. Oh, sorry. Turn the page. Sex kitten. sex kitten. Sex kit.

No, you get a sex kit. It's called the Intimate Sensations Pack. It is from our friends at ExtremeRestraints.com. Yeah, the intimate sensations they're referring to are in your genitals. Your genitals area

for sex. Or whatever. Sex is one you could use it for sex, sure. Oh, that's true. Broaden your horizons. There's a massager, you could use that to crush ice. To scare

squirrels off the deck. Just leave it on the deck. Scare the hell out of everybody. The items in this pack are incredibly versatile. If they were really good at marketing, it would be a package, not a pack. A sex package. An intimate package. The Velvafil massager, as you said, crushing ice, crushing your opponents in some wrestling.

Yeah, it's like a secret weapon you can take out of your singlet when you're wrestling Andre the Giant. Yeah. Oh, tickling. Illegal for an object. Yeah. It comes with a black satin mask for... Bank heists? Yeah, bank heists.

Or a magic joke. To pay for your donation to Max Fundra. You're going to have to hit a bank. Or just to pass out. If you want to sleep on a plane. Or, you know, to heighten your other senses. If you want to daredevil somebody. Is it a

radioactive mask? And it also includes the Rocket Lube, natural water-based lubricant. Why is it Rocket? Because it has the Maximum Fun Rocket logo on it. Have you ever tried? A rocket needs some lube. Yep. And then at the $35 per month level, you get these.

That's like just over a dollar a day. Anybody can swing that. Any idiot can swing that. You can get a pair of rocket-engraved rocks glasses for your classy drinks. Your yoo-hoos. Yeah, exactly. Let me look at these rocks glasses.

Your piping hot carbonated coffee. Well, I like mine cool. Oh, he's a cold. Have you noticed twix trying to uh uh have like like both ways i'm the left uh bar oh yeah they're trying to like if you go to their uh brothers refuting yeah yeah and two people and they came up with two identical chocolate bars. I'm on a real Twix kick. I'm a pepper. Oh, did you? I heard somewhere that you, you know, that. Dr. Pepper Snapple?

Well, they have those shirts from the Dr. Pepper commercial that say I'm a pepper. And you could order, like, I guess with proof of purchase, you could order a shirt that said whatever you wanted on it. I'm a pedophile. Oh, yeah. Somebody ordered the, like, within the first hour, somebody ordered a I'm a Holocaust denier shirt. In the first hour. Yeah.

So let me know where we're at as a species. Yeah. This is where our minds are. Is that the Cooper font? Yes. Yeah, that is absolutely. I, when I was a kid – well, I was in high school. So I think there was a, I think I did this partly with some sense of irony maybe.

I loved Captain Crunch quite a bit. And you could order the classic, like the box tops. If you get enough box tops, send in for a t-shirt. I asked, do you have the XXL? Yes, they do. We didn't know if we were going to move a lot of these, but we got some double XLs. Oh, really? The Captain Crunch people didn't know?

And you could get your name in the Cooper font. They would, you know, the iron on underneath the Captain Crunch logo. So my nickname with the last name Butt, of course, I come from a long line of Buttsies. Anybody whose last name was Butt in my hometown was Buttsie. So I had Buttsie put on there. And I ended up taking a savage beating in that shirt. I got into a fight at a house party with a guy while I was wearing that. Oh, no.

A couple of big dudes, him and his brother. The small one was 240 pounds. And I don't know. I was wearing a Captain Crunch shirt. I would not be bossed around by two giant guys. You're the captain. So I fought them and I had blood all over my Captain Crunch shirt. This is a very sad story.

I don't know. I like the story about those two brothers bonding. It's all perspective. You could put a negative twist on a beating if you like. Sure. Whenever they visit each other in prison, that's what they remember. Wow. Yeah.

So how many box tops? I think it was five box tops. And then cash. You had to. Right. Then one t-shirt worth of cash. They were like, listen, it's not the 40s. Yeah.

Now, if you want to donate at the $100 a month level. Oh, geez, Louise, yeah. Oh, boy. You get to give Brent a savage beating at a house party. That's the prize. He can take it. The house party of your choice. Yeah.

You must have a brother for this. You and a guest of your choice. Yeah. You must have a brother for this. You and a guest of your choice. You will become a member of the Maximum Fun Inner Circle, the monthly culture club. By the way, these are all cumulative. So if you donate at the $100

level, you'll get the earbuds, the intimate sensations, and the glasses. But you'll also become a member of the Inner Circle, and you'll get a recommendation once a month as well as the actual thing. You'll get a book recommendation complete with the book. Someone from the Maximum Fun family will suggest something for you to listen to or read or watch during that month and they'll send it to you. And you get a thing.

Yeah. The gift that keeps on giving. While you're giving, you get the gift that keeps on giving back to you. Oh, boy. The giving. It's the circle of giving. Is that Tim Rice? And then $200 per month, Mr. or Mrs. Moneybags,

free registration at the Atlantic Ocean Comedy and Music Festival known as BoatParty.biz. So these are the levels at which you can donate. We encourage you to do so. And any level helps. And at every level, you'll get the satisfaction of knowing that you're supporting something you love. Head over to MaximumFun.org and click on Donate. And also, don't forget uh hashtag

max hulk drive yeah max hope we're picking the best tweet we're giving away the great work of art yeah the great we're picking the best tweet we're giving away the best thingy uh now it's really time for overheard oh boy we're out of time um we always like to start with the guest these podcasters you know i contend they're too long Now it's really time for Overheard. Oh boy, we're out of time. We always like to start with the guest. These podcasts, you know, I contend they're too long, these podcasts. It's true. I've, you know, I've been saying this since the 80s.

People didn't even know what I was talking about. I was saying, you mark my words. These podcasts in the future are going to be too long. This Dallas cast. in the future are going to be too long. This Dallas cast. Oh, man. That one summer when they were trying to figure out who shot J.R. No, endless podcasts. They went through so much audio cassette.

But, yeah, we always like to start with the guest for the overheards. So if you would, lead the charge. I overheard a while ago, I was in a mall and I'm not often in a mall anymore. I should go more often. I enjoy a mall. Agreed. I get kind of excited when I realize I'm going to the mall. There's a bunch of stores under one roof.

I'm going to eat a giant cookie. I'm usually doing that. It's a pretty good chance that I got a big cookie on the go. It's just pretty good chance that I got a big cookie on the go. It's just a little project. But anyway, there was a couple. They look like they were, I think, their high school age. I was going to say size.

They were high school size kids. You know how tall they are in high school? They seemed like they were maybe high school age kids. And, you know, they were four guys, young toughs, right? Uh-oh. And they were obviously, they were upset about somebody. They didn't like somebody.

Somebody had said something or something, right? They had a bee in their bonnet, which I don't believe is current vernacular with kids. No, no, no. It's come back around. It's come back around. So, but I heard one of them say, I'm going to bust him a new one. Whoa. And I thought, is that, like I've heard tear him a new one and bust a cap on his ass.

And I thought, did he screw up? Did he get like two mixed his threats? Kind of like a mixed metaphor. Yeah. Like I'm going to bust him a new one. You can't bust a guy a new asshole. That's a real tearing. It's either tearing or a surgical thing.

You can't bust somebody. Now, when someone says I'm going to tear him a new one, do we all know what a new one is? I think. Well, I can't say all. I say anybody with an ounce of sense understands that the new one is a reference to a arsehole. Oh, okay. That's right. Right? You're going to have two of them.

Three if you've gotten a beating before. I'm going to bust him a new one. So I enjoyed that. I didn't know what they meant. Also, bust is another, like, I'm going to bust you all the way down to meter maid. Like a police chief would say. Yeah. And beat them, bust them.

That's our custom. Bust them, beat them. Let's defeat them, beat them. That's something a cheerleader would say. I keep forgetting you were a cheerleader. I keep forgetting that. Yeah, you had the big cone that you yelled into, right? And then people would throw drinks into it.

I was at a freak show also. I was the cheerleader for a freak show. I would swallow anything that people threw into my cone. Go Cougars. Yeah, absolutely. Wildcats, pardon me. Specifically, Cougars. Dave, do you have an overheard?

My overheard is from Easter weekend. Easter weekend. I was over at my parents' house this past weekend, and my parents are very charitable people. I need to sort of preface this. Just sliding into another Max Fund Drive thing. Is that where this is going? Speaking of charitable people. Brad's really tuning out.

My parents, like they donate to many organizations and they volunteer and stuff. But they generally support organizations that help people and not organizations that help animals. people and not organizations that help animals. So that's why I had to laugh when I saw at my parents' house, there was an envelope addressed to my mother from the SPCA. And my mother had crossed out her name on it, written return to sender, and also written, you have got to be kidding. Talk about a bee in your bonnet.

Did she? Wow. Oh, man. That's, uh, yep. Was it written? Let me, we gotta, you've shown us a picture. Oh, like in a Sharpie, too. Yeah, yeah. You've got to be kidding. You've got to be kidding. So the notion of giving money

to help animals is not that she's not on board. She's repelled by the You've got to be kidding. You've got to be kidding. So the notion of giving money to help animals is great. It's not that she's not on board. She's repelled by the – Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's an insult. It's an affront to her sensibilities. Whenever there's like celebrity jeopardy and they don't play for themselves, they –

What if one celebrity was like, I'm not – I was famous 10 years ago. I need this money. My money will be going to the Vanilla Ice Foundation. Alex, I'm going to... They should call that celebrity, by the way. Celebrity Jeopardy? What? Oh, man. Your lawyer's giving the thumbs down.

He is kind of a sour guy. Like, they'll all say, oh, my winnings are going to books for things or like whatever books for things a reading a reading program books for things a book for a tree yeah it's an organization that tapes books to cars um but uh whenever they're like, oh, I'm Lisa Rinna from Melrose Place, and I'm supporting the Little Dog Foundation. My parents always roll their eyes. Little Dog Foundation. Well, I would, too.

So, like, when they come over here to visit, do they give Grandpa a hard time, like, for freeloading? You can't get a job? Yeah. You're lucky you weren't born one of those killing breeds. Yeah. You ever seen that show, Dogs with Jobs?

Yeah. Hmm? Yeah. On your fancy color television that's paid for. Your fancy color television that your parents leave on. Your parents.

Yeah. Leave on to distract you from the noises of the neighborhood you don't even know it's color do you dumb dogs you know in a lot of ways he's more enlightened oh well yeah that's true um graham yeah you're overheard boy is this a doozy. This is an overseen. And it's speaking of teenagers. I also would like to just say my parents are very charitable. They just hate dogs, that's all.

They just don't want to help anybody who needs it. They don't want to help anybody who can't speak for themselves. Oh yeah, no, they definitely don't want to help people who need it. Their biggest donations are money attached to strings that people pull away. So there's – by my house, there's a junior high.

And it's a very nice junior high. And there's – for months now, probably since September, there's been this banner that's been hanging on a fence that says, invest in our children now. They are the future. And it's not attributed to anything. Buy low, sell high. Yeah, exactly. And I feel like this is a teenager who did this, but I have no way of knowing. But it's the greatest. Somebody has made a cardboard attachment that they've attached to the sign so that the sign now reads, invest in robots now.

They are the future. Oh, wow. And there's a photo of it. Yep. I like the robots portion. Wasn't quite big enough to cover the whole thing. So you see the part of the front of C of children. So it's like invest in O-robots now.

Cro-bots. Run me alive. Cro-bots coming from the sky. Anyways, there was a lot of thought went into that. Somebody had seen that sign, thought to themselves, you know, it would be funny. Yeah.

And also a great investment. Or somebody said that to their friend and they laughed so hard that they were like, I'm going to make that friend laugh even harder when they see this. They thought it was funny just hearing about it. Robots can do everything. Swallow a quarter. Oh, yeah. That's about it.

Yeah. Well, they can also make that quarter. They can smash it. Oh, yeah. So that it's then put like Well, they can also make that quarter. They can smash it. Oh, yeah. And then put, like, you hung out with a robot on the quarter. They can spot weld a door onto a car. Oh, sure. Repeatedly.

Yeah, they can do surgery. And they can lead the blind around like a dog. Yeah. Now the dogs are rolling their eyes. The dogs are rolling their eyes. The dogs are rolling their eyes. Great. Yeah, I haven't been doing that for a hundred years. Yeah, exactly.

The Robot Foundation. You've got to be kidding me. Do any of the seeing-eye dogs have their own agenda? They're like, hey, maybe we make a pit stop over at the Alpo factory. The Alpo factory. This doesn't smell like the library. Why is the blind person going to the library? To listen to books on tape. Audio.

To use the bathroom. Buster, this doesn't smell like the library. It's awful loud in here. The Alpo factory. Horses go in one door. All right. So we also have overheards that have been sent to us from around the world. If you want to do the same, you can send them to spy at maximumfund.org.

And this first one comes from Sylvia. See if any of these can top my bust them a new one and I got a top invest in robots this is from Sylvia R this is her overheard from the local sizzler remember sizzler

what's to forget that's not an expression I'm going to bust him a new sizzler so it's a buffet right sizzler oh yeah it's all you can barf so she was at

the sizzler last Valentine's Day sweet he's a keeper yep she says we go with the kids cause that's pretty much what every other married

couple with children who can't get a babysitter do. They all go to Sizzler. And anyway, there was a young couple. That's like a cautionary tale. Young couple, early 20s, obviously there for a romantic dinner going to the salad bar. They had been there a little while before the girl turned to the guy and said, Fill your plate, you loser. Don't you know how a salad bar works? Fill your plate, you loser.

It's not all you can eat until you eat all you can. So he's like a two-time loser. Because A, he doesn't know how a salad bar works. B, he's hauling his date to the sizzler for a romantic night at the sizzler. It's just kids running around putting their crayons on everything. This better pay off. I like to think that like a sexual euphemism later in the night when they're like she

disrobes and says fill your plate you loser. Yeah that's some early role playing. It's foreshadowing. Yeah that's something from You learned that from writing a movie Yeah, as a movie producer Save the cat

Abby and I used to go For dates all the time To Boston Pizza Knowing full well that this is not very good food But Boston Pizza Famously on Valentine's Day Makes heart-shaped pizzas. Yeah, we never did that.

For couples to throw up together. To regret. Yeah. This next one comes from John from Maryville, Tennessee. Yesterday I was refueling my car when a large redneck lady walked out of the gas station. In Tennessee? Yeah, I know, right? In Tennessee.

His story doesn't hold water with me. She was shouting to the woman that was waiting in the car that she needed to come in because the guy kept her card and wouldn't give it back. When the guy in the backseat got out of the car to come in, she quickly put him in his place and told him to get his ass back in the car. The two women went in the

store. A minute later, they both came back out very animated and angry. Before getting back into the car, the lady held up her middle finger to the cashier and yelled, right here! Right here! After fueling, I went inside to get the scoop. The big lady was there to fill

out a job application and decided it was a good idea to shoplift a pickle while she was at it. Pinch your pickle. What you need is somebody on the inside who knows how to prevent this type of pickle theft.

See how easily I just stole that pickle? Not very easily at all, I tell you. Once you touch a pickle, well, I mean, you take a pickle, you gotta leave a pickle. Arnold Guthrie song. Take a pickle, leave a pickle jar. But if you touch a pickle,

it belongs to you. Oh, that's true. I don't understand... Have you ever bobbed for pickles? I've never bought a pickle at a gas station, and I'm not sure how that. I've never bought a single. Yeah. Like, can you buy a single?

Where do you? No, I did not know. A loosey. I didn't know you could buy individual pickles. As many pickles as your hand can hold. $5. Yeah. It's not a bad policy, actually,

because, you know, I don't want 80 pickles. No, that's true. How many times have you bought a jar of pickles and you know, 80% of them just at one point down the number. Yeah, of course, because you don't

remember buying them. Yeah, I bought these in 1979. How long do these last? I had one of them with that sandwich. That time I craved a pickle. I was watching a Walter Matthau movie and I got a pickle craving. He makes them look good. Are they bad for you?

Yeah, so one pickle is... Well, they're high in sodium. Would you have them if you had an individual pickle thing? Would you have it like a lobster tank with a bunch of pickles floating around and you could pick out the one that you wanted and they'd get in there with a net? No, I would do, like you were saying, grab as many as you can, except bobbing for them. Put your face in it. A mouthful, yeah, in the brine. I got vinegar in my eyes.

Put on your pickle goggles. Your pickle bobbing goggles. We have the whole works. That sounds like another sexual euphemism, bobbing for pickles. I got some kind of hang-up, it turns out. Everything you guys say sounds like some sexual euphemism to me. Yeah, and I mean, we're nowhere near it. I mean, pickles, how are you getting... Yeah, come on.

Bobby for pickles, how are you getting sex out of that? I mean, fill your plate. I understood. Where's this one coming from? You loser. This last one comes from Jacob N. from Detroit, Michigan. I picked up this in my Contemporary World History class today, where we watched the original 1954 Japanese version of Godzilla.

In Contemporary World History. Remember when Godzilla happened? When the movie finished, the teacher asked the class what the director's message was. When the movie finished, the teacher asked the class what the director's message was. The class's most eager student jumped up with, to teach the Chinese how to fight the enemy. Which is, it was Japanese. And also, I don't think it was about fighting the enemy. What is the message of Godzilla? Well, it was about, like, the perils of radiation and the bomb, basically, because that awoke.

The bomb.com. I don't even think that's what it was. I think the bomb is a good excuse to generate a giant monster. It's the same way with the Spider-Man radioactivity. It's not a cautionary tale. It's a good excuse. We don't quite understand the science, so there was a big thing, and now all hell is broken loose. That's the inciting incident in our story.

If you're going to make a Godzilla omelet, you're going to break some eggs. You're going to nuke some eggs. So there you go. Overheard. So that's the show. Dave, wait! Before we end the show, it's always great to do a phone call overheard so that's the show dave wait before we end the show it's always great to do phone call overheards yeah uh if you want to call us fill your plate with this number loser loser it's

206-339-8328 like these people have hey dave graham and guess this is brian in south florida with an overheard uh a few minutes ago, I was leaving my favorite local Mexican restaurant at an outdoor table with a group of four teenagers and a girl, I guess she was talking

Asian politics with taco in hand, said to her table mates, oh yeah, we are totally gonna fuck up south korea and then she took a bite of her taco and then as she was chewing said especially because they're the smallest of all the chinese countries and you know what godzilla isn't even playing for him anymore with that godzilla on their squadron. Look out. He's retired. I like when people are wrong

on multiple levels. I like when people are wrong while eating a taco. You can't go wrong. I was told you can't go wrong if you're eating a taco. Turns out you can be very wrong. Geopolitically. Just everywhere, dude. Taco politics. Crunch.

Or maybe she was a communist. Oh, sure. Maybe she was a sympathizer with Kim Jong-un, and she, we're going to fuck up the South Koreans. We don't get these tacos back home. Did I mention that? Even people who I think consider themselves communists don't think Kim Jong-un is great. I know this has been a very political episode, what with the Prime Minister's Lego hair.

Look at the front of his hair. Isn't there going to be a point, though, where there's got to be a point where China steps up and goes, okay, listen, you got a donut. I'm trying to have your back, but you're really... Yeah.

I'm trying to have your back, but you're really... Yeah. I, uh... It's a... Like, don't you seem nutty to yourself? Like, when you're saying these things. Kim. Kim. Buddy.

Kim. Boobie. Boobie. Beck. Hey, uh, we got China on the phone. Oh, man. Yep. Things are heating up in the world, too. phone. Oh, man. Yep. Things are heating up in the world.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you're listening from North Korea, how's that happening? Yeah, what the? Here's your next phone call. Hey, Dave. Hey, Graham. This is Pat from Chicago with an overheard. I was recently in the suburbs doing some thrift shopping,

and I stopped in a gas station to get some gas and I went inside to pay and as I was checking out another employee came out from the back room and yelled across the store hey they can't shoot through metal can they and the cashier goes oh no I don't think so

and the person that came out from the back room said well then there's something in the cooler you have to check out. That is turn on your heel and scram. Yeah. What? Oh, you know what? I misheard it at first because I thought he said they can't shoot through metal.

And then I was like, what does he have in the cooler in the back? The guy with the gun? I thought that's what he said. Chew. Chew through. Chew through metal. Yeah, because then he's like, there's something in the cooler. Oh, wow.

Chew through metal. Yeah. Wow. What do you think? Possums? Rats. Rats. The same thing that was in your neighbor's yard.

Oh, yeah. That was off air. A terrifying story. But it was a cryptozoological marvel. Or coyote. Yeah. Listen, it could be. It's open. We don't know what it was. Coyotes, they don't get into the city here, do they?

Yes, they do. Wow. They're very wily. They gotta come to the city to pick up their Acme packages. Yeah, from the post office You know, their Their tunnel paint

Yeah, rockets that they're strapping To themselves Batman suit I liked it while they carried his Batman suit It didn't look anything like Batman Was that the one that had the wings? And he had His cap was like a speed skater's...

It had no ears like Batman. I'm sure there must be a copyright like, We own pointy ears. We own cowls. I remember that store went out of business. We own cowls. Cowls and things. Rent to own cows.

You want your final one? I do. Let's get it. Hello, Dave Graham and lovely guest. This is Parker in South Carolina. I was just sitting in a dentist's waiting room, and there was an older gentleman talking to the lady at the counter, and she was asking him for his cell phone number.

And he pulled out his phone and gave her his number, and he said, you know, I probably won't even feel the darn thing if it's on rattle. I like that. Oh, man. Set it to rattle. Oh, man. That's like the perfect old person thing to say. Yeah.

Put your phone on rattle. How do you think you'd feel about this Velvofil massage? Oh, man. Set your phone to rattle. My wife's rattled. I don't want to be interrupted. Everybody put your phones on rattle. I don't want to be interrupted. Everybody put your phones on rattle. Turn them off of roast and put them on rattle.

Turn them off hullabaloo. Put them on scallyway. It's like a cell phone for a toddler. Yeah, it's filled with candy. He's getting rambunctious Put it on rattle, that'll entertain him for a while Oh man

The new iPhone rattler When an old person really lands it Yeah Classic old Well, oh boy That brings us to the end of the show. Yeah. And as we had said earlier in the show, why don't you head over to MaximumFun.org.

Yeah, you big lug. Click on Donate if you haven't already. If you have, like we said before, we love you for it and thank you so much for supporting the show. And we're very encouraged by anybody who does so. Yeah. It's a big thing. Yeah, thank you. We're totally blown away by the support we've had, and

the rest of you guys, I think you can dig deep. Yeah, and this year we've got this added incentive, thanks to Patrick Roddy. Get on Twitter and hashtag MaxHulkDrive, and you could be going home with this beautiful stained glass creation

show all your neighbors that you're the king of the hill yeah the MaxHulkDrive and remember to include the address MaximumFun.org slash donate in your tweet then you'll be eligible to win this thing we will be judging it.

Oh, the deadline for that, by the way, is the end of the day on the 12th of April. And now, Brent, is there anything? First of all, thank you for being a guest. Thank you for coming. Thank you for asking me. I always have a lovely time with you fellas. Yeah, it's a pleasure to have you. You're one of our all-time faves and oft-requested guests.

Oh, is that right? That's right. That's good to know. I'm going to bed with a warm heart. Set your phone to rattle and go to sleep. Is there anything in particular you'd like to plug online? Well, I was going to plug the movie Twitter thing. But, again, I don't have the green light for it yet.

So just follow me on Twitter. Yes. At Brent Butt. Hilarious tweets. Hilarious. Oh, I think you're overstating it. Really good tweets. Well, this is high praise, considering the source.

You guys are two fantastic tweeters. Thank you. So, yeah, just follow me, at Brent Butt. And when I have the trailer for the movie, I will link. That's the only social media I do, is Twitter. So all things flow out of Twitter for me. It really has replaced almost every guest when we ask, you know, where online. People just say, hey, follow me on Twitter.

Websites are- Because it's tidy and easy, right? Yeah. Who's going to websites? Nobody. A comedian's website? Oh, so I could check out your dates? Get real.

When are you going to be in Kalamazoo? When are you playing the Sizzler, loser? See, because you can all- If you want my website, you can go to it via Twitter. Exactly. Twitter allows you to get to my damn website. Oh, man, Twitter is dumbass. Happy birthday, Twitter. What did we do beforehand?

Sit around not tweeting about stuff? Like a pack of animals? I know. What did I think? I didn't even know what I thought about stuff back then. I was talking into as many letters as I wanted. Yeah, endless. Endless rambling.

It was really Andy Rooney's time. They say Twitter killed him. That's true. Yeah, when he wasn't allowed to just rant. So yeah, go to MaximumFun.org. The paperclip has always served me well. He's got four in his eyebrows. Go to MaximumFun.org, click on Donate.

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