Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 267 - Josh Stubbs

Episode Date: April 30, 2013

Josh Stubbs returns to talk Stan Lee, Swedish CornNuts, and Portland gas pumps.

This episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself is supported by IFC presenting Marin, a new comedy based on the life and podcast of comedian Mark Marin. Mark explores his day-to-day struggle to maintain relationships outside of his podcast and his beloved trio of cats. Marin starts this Friday with guest star Dave Foley at 10, 9 central on IFC. Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 267 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man that I'm just super glad is back from Sweden, Mr. Dave Shumka.

Yeah, hi. Welcome back. Or as they say in Sweden, hey. Like hey. Like H-E-J. Really? Yeah. Ah, they're so crazy over there.

Yeah, it's for horses. It's not even impolite. It's like just the way of talking. Like if you talk to the Swedish prime minister, you'd say hey. And they wouldn't be like, yeah, they wouldn't say hey is for horses. Smarten up. They'd be like, hey. Yeah.

That's how we talk. Yeah. We're so crazy over here uh welcome back yeah it's uh uh we're recording this at 8 30 which is 5 30 a.m sweden time yeah hey go back to bed hey hey thanks so i i'm i just got back yesterday i'm pretty jet lagged yeah might uh it might come through the the uh sound there you go everything's aces so far okay good look goodly and our guest today uh a returning guest friend of the podcast uh very funny man mr josh stubbs Hey. Hey to you. Oh, good. Yeah. Fitting in. Good, I get it. Should we get to know us, you guys?

Get to know us. Josh. Stubbs. Yes. It's been, I think it's been almost like two years. It's been a long time. The last time, I was thinking about it, the last time I actually saw either of you, I was being – I saw Dave and I was being escorted out of a Doug Benson show. You weren't escorted out of the whole show.

I was nearly escorted out. It came close. And then Guy McPherson came to my rescue and saved me from being escorted out. Why were you – how did you get to that point? As we mentioned before the show started, I work as a technical writer. Yes. So long periods of just at my desk writing and I have a headphone on while I'm working. And so I was listening to like about seven episodes in a row of Doug Loves Movies while working on writing instructions.

Right. And some of the show complained that there wasn't enough people to play the Doug Loves Movies game and they wouldn't understand how the game worked. And they're like, someone should write some instructions for this. And I was like, I write instructions all day. I'll help out the show. And I wrote a set of instructions and he was performing that night. Right. So I did it up a whole set of like the way a technical writer would.

And how many pages was this? About two pages. I was aiming for one. I got it down to one and a half, but it's a pretty complicated game when you work it out. It is pretty like, I know that it's simple because I've listened to it so many times. Yeah. Yeah. When I tried to think of how to explain it.

And it's simple because it was created by people who were high on drugs. That's right. I'm actually quite baffled how many people are confused by the game still when they play. So anyway, they made the instructions and then I went down to the show. And then I was like, I made these instructions. I'm going to give them to him after. And Guy McPherson was like, no, no, go give it to him right now. And I'd never really been to the economy.

He says, just go through that door. He's right in there. You've been to Yuck Yucks. I've been to Yuck Yucks. And it's the same setup. No, it's a different building than I had ever been in. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah.

So he goes, just go through this door. And then, so I walked through and I went, Mr. Benson. And then he just took it from my hand and then a bouncer grabbed me and was like, get out of here. And then that's when I was marched out and I saw Dave look at me and I was like, hey! Anytime I've ever been at the comedy mix, people have no

problem getting backstage. The fact that usually a bouncer will show up three minutes too late and have a look on their face like, do you want me to do anything about this? And it's not necessarily always, it's sometimes friend and have a look on their face like, do you want me to do anything about this? Yeah, and it's not necessarily always. It's sometimes friend or foe. There's been people that have just wandered backstage

and just said like, oh, I was looking for the bathroom, and then they just continue to hang out. It's like, hey, wait, remember your bathroom agenda? Stick with that, man. Oh, I'm going right now. So did Doug use the you know he came out and made fun of me on stage

who would take the time to read these instructions I'm like well apparently someone needs it like I don't listen to seven episodes today but I felt bad because I didn't get a chance

to just go hey I'm a technical writer and this is what we do fun is write weird instructions like this isn't but so I think I just felt it came off more like I've got some ideas for your free podcast that you should – you know what?

I don't want to be that guy that's like – here's what you should do to make your show better. I'm a guy that's invested too much in it. Well, when you said that technical writers for fun write instructions for weird things, what are we talking about? What kind of stuff? They don't – that was an exaggeration that they had. But that seems really fun to me.

At the conferences. Look what I wrote instructions for. Hey, guys. H-J instructions. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Et cetera. Yeah. No, they're not a lot of fun.

The technical writing crowd? No. This is a thing that I... I met one that was so extroverted that he stared at my shoes while he

talked. That's the big joke that they tell there. They love that joke. And the other big joke, one of

the guys at the tech writing conference, his name was Ariel. So all weekend he was called the little Roman. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. You said a lot of different fonts it wasn't wingdings and they'd all laugh and I'd be like was like after the conference did they have like come to your favorite font party oh man guys what would you go ask? oh boy something bald.

Did you really go to a technical writing conference? I went to, yeah, I'm speaking at one in September, but it's so boring. For the listener, we don't just troll, like, we don't just get, we didn't just bring Josh up because he's a technical writer. Yeah, yeah, I felt tied into a funnier story than the actual one. But I am fascinated by this world. But I feel like it seems, did we introduce him as like, just a very funny man? Yeah, and a technical writer. But Josh has been a comedian. Yes.

Oh, that's right. Yeah, I've done funnier things than speak at a tech write con. No, but nothing is interesting. But, you know, we do want to get back to that. I just wanted to get this straight. You're not just some technical writer. You're the technical writer. You're the most technical writer.

The technicalist, right? Now. Tech write con. Well, yeah. What's your speech? What are you speaking about? I'm speaking. It's a.

What are the booth babes like? Check out this pen. Oh, yeah. I like it. I'll be speaking. It's about cop speak and how it's infiltrated into our culture. So a lot of times. Like police?

Yeah. So a lot of times you go, you speak to somebody, you have to interview them for as a subject expert on what you're going to write about. Right. And then they. And you use cop speak like, give me the 411. They feel that they have to speak like a cop. They go, oh, this is a very legal thing and now I can't be very specific because everyone has heard press conferences where cops speak or they've watched a lot of Law & Order. And then suddenly they slip into this thing where they're like, I exited the vehicle.

And you're like, so you got out of the car. Could you just tell me? The individual. Yeah. A lot of that and apprehended stuff. You're like, you didn't apprehend anything. What are you – Do you ever – is there ever like RoboCop speak?

Yeah. Where people – everyone's a citizen. Yeah. There's a lot of that, a lot of the citizen. I'm trying to think of other cop shows. Well, I'm trying – like always say on cop shows like they were called the police like they wouldn't call it a station they'd call it a house right we're going back to the house the cop house I've never heard that in my

life yeah it was on the shield I watched the whole series I'm watching is there any dirty cops speak oh yeah, yeah. What's that? Yeah. On the take. I was on the take and then I was on the make. And. But it was on the prowl. Yeah.

And then I was on. Yeah. There's a lot of good cop, bad cop. But then they turn on me and I'm like, look, this is just trying to document your software. Why are you? Exactly. Hey, I want to tell you all the stuff about this software. But my partner here, he's pretty upset with you and your descriptions.

And then he throws a book at you, a literal book. But I was going to say, if you want to talk about conventions. Do I? I went to the comic convention this weekend here in Vancouver. Okay. The what? It was a huge fan expo. Yes. Okay. The what? It was huge. What was it called? Fanexpo.

Yes. Fanexpo. Fanexpo. I saw a lot of people's Facebook photos today are them with Stan Lee. Yeah, there was a lot. I didn't. Kubrick. Yes.

In Stanley Park. Which is pretty impressive. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't see Stanley. I went with Patrick Malihaw, another guy, and he shelled out the 200 bucks to meet Stanley. Wow.

Yeah. I didn't know that about the people. You got to have go there. They give you like a muffin. You sat down. Was it at least a Spider-Man muffin? I don't know. And then you got to meet Stan.

And then he said the girl right behind, you got like a picture with him and they'd sign something. Right. And the girl right behind him, because he got a crazy old man voice too, which makes him super fun. And then the girl behind him, she goes, what do you want to sign? And she goes, I got this book, graphic Elvis, and it's all stories about Elvis and a graphic novel form, whatever. She goes, and there's a story here that you wrote. And he's like, I wrote this story.

What are you talking? I didn't write this story. What? And he's like, let me see this thing. And they gave it to him. He's like, I've never seen this before. And she's like, what? She goes, I brought it here for you to sign it.

And he's like, who did this? I did this. And they're like, it says your name on it right here. And they flip to the date and he goes, well, I don't think I was very active at Marvel at this time. I think someone just put my name on it. And it was like, you could see her heart just break. And then he's like, next.

Did he sign it? He signed it, but he's like, I have had no association with this yeah that's that's what he signs on it i have no association with my i think i've probably told you this but my parents once at a silent auction won a bunch of michael j fox paraphernalia and there was a doc hollywood poster signed by him oh yeah there was a back to the Future hat signed by him and there was the Back to the Future cartoon on VHS that he signed, this is not my voice, Michael J. Fox. I worked at a book warehouse and sometimes they bring in these crates of books. They buy them by weight and they don't know what's in the books, in the box, right?

So it's just random. by weight and they don't know what's in the books. What? In the box, right? So it's just random. Some of them, and so I got a, it was a Sue Grafton. She wrote all those like A's for alibi or all these mysteries with different. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Alphabet books for kids.

Yeah, alphabet books for kids. Yeah, yeah. And it was signed by her. So right away I grabbed it and then I bought it and then I was like, I'm going to eBay this and make a ton of money. And then came home and I went to eBay and I don't know how many of those she signed. It was like 65 pages of her signing that same book. And I sold it for like $2 and I got the feedback

from the person delivered to it and they were like, this is signed? They were so amazing. Didn't even know they'd bought a signed book. There was, I was in Portland last week. I went to Powell's Books and I found a book that was written by a previous Vancouver mayor.

It was in the Canada section. So it was a previous Vancouver mayor. I want to say Mike Harcourt. Yeah. Yeah. He was mayor. And premier of British Columbia. Yeah.

And he wrote a book and this book was inscribed to the mayor of Portland. And then it was at, like, so the mayor of Portland got this gift book and was like, meh. Just pass it on. I was in a used bookstore once, and it was a book of Leonard Cohen poems. And it was inscribed on the front, and it was like, well, I'm leaving, but you can always read these poems when you're lonely. You can still think of me. And it was like very, I can't remember what it was, but it was all about like. Yeah.

Excelsior, true believer. It was basically some guy leaving back to wherever and he was in love with this girl. And that was the gist of it. Wow. And the date on it was the day before. Oh, no. She not only ditched him, but the the guy time to shelve it like he was like she was like immediately get rid of this

thing he's gone right he's gone for real how many people do you think the Stanley signing said can you write it make it out to Bub? Wasn't that his thing that he would say Bub? No, he'd say Nuff said. What was his catchphrase? Oh, yeah, he'd say Nuff said.

I think he'd address everybody as true believers. True believers. Okay. I thought it was something Bub. Was that Wolverine? Wolverine. Played by Michael J. Fox. Yeah.

Not his voice. 200 bucks. Teen Wolverine? Wolverine. Played by Michael J. Fox. Yeah. Not his voice. 200 bucks. Teen Wolverine. That's a lot though, right? Just to say, hey. It seems a lot. Like people bitched about the Prince concert. And that was.

How much was that? That was 250 bucks. Yeah. And that was a concert. Yeah. Like Prince doesn't just shake your hand and be like, fuck off. And that was a concert in a crazy small venue for Prince. Yeah, yeah.

And also, past guest Jane Stanton's roommate was at the Prince concert and he crowd surfed and she got to touch Prince's butt. Oh, okay. Which is like, that's 200 of your $250. Yeah, it's one of the best butts. Oh, absolutely. Tight little package. Hollywood butts butts well uh minnesota butts what about uh stan lee's butt great butt yeah you know how he makes a um a cameo in every marvel movie oh yeah his butt is in the avengers yeah playing uh robert

downey jrs butt. Yeah. Doesn't he play... And he's seamlessly inserted into all of these movies. Yeah, it never jolts you out of the movie when... Yeah. Was he in Thor somewhere? Yeah. He was in the Earth part. He wasn't like a...

No, yeah, he was in Valhalla. Was he? No, he wasn't. With his crazy glasses. Yeah, exactly. He pointed god. Was he? No, he wasn't. With his crazy glasses. Yeah, exactly. He pointed at one of the other gods. He was with a kid and they were eating popcorn. Yeah, he's the god of housecoats.

If it was less, I would have brought a picture of him because I'd seen pictures of him in the 50s. Right. Where he has no hair. Oh, really? Yeah, it's really funny. Like, all of a sudden, like in 1970, he's like, I'm going to get a toupee. Oh. And now he's got, I'm going to get a toupee. Oh. And now he's got this crazy wig on or whatever.

I'm not good at spotting toupees, I guess, because I thought he was, I thought he looks dynamite. He does look dynamite. There's no doubt about it. Didn't he, in one of the movies? I'm a true believer. His toupee. Okay, two questions about Stanley. First, didn't he do the voice of Spider-Man in a cartoon in the 80s?

I can't imagine that because his voice is crazy. No, and that's why. That's why I remember it. I'm Spider-Man. That's it. Because all his S's are kind of weird. Like, he'd be like... Why are you Spider-Man?

I'm Spider-Man. I'm an old man and my dentures don't quite fit right. Plus, I'm from Yonkers. I'm Spider-Man. He would be the weirdest Spider-Man. I'm an old man and my dentures don't quite fit right. Plus, I'm from Yonkers. I'm Spider-Man. He would be the weirdest Spider-Man ever. I swear to you, he did. Check out my butt, Camden. And then he...

Because even when he's there, he's like, it's great to be in Vancouver. And he dropped the R on Vancouver. Like, it was... I've never heard any accent like that described Vancouver. So funny. Maybe he was just being fancy. Yeah. Hulk smash, everybody.

Hulk smash. He does all the voices. And they're all his records. Yeah, his crazy voice. All the Avengers that enters each Avenger at every second. Avengers assemble. Avengers assemble. Now I'm Captain America.

I have the same voice as before. I'm Storm, yeah. I'm a silver surfer. I don't do the impression, but I can find the S names. I'm not sure if I do it either. I just do a funny S. And secondly, his cameo, I think in Iron Man 2, is he's playing Hugh Hefner. That's right, yeah.

He's a cameo of someone else's cameo. Yeah, but that's a cameo where it's like, we could have called up Hugh Hefner. Surely he would have come down to the set for that one thing. But he goes, hey, Hugh. Or he goes, hey, Hef. And then it pans over and it's obviously, like Stanley didn't even trim his mustache or anything.

No, he just shows up in this. From the Dan Aykroyd school of impressions. Actually, did we, I think we talked about this once before. Did you, I know I had this issue. I don't know if you had it. It was an issue with Spider-Man where Spider-Man meets the cast of Saturday Night Live. Like, they'd have a. I have one where it's the Avengers on David Letterman.

That's how we got in the discussion. Yeah. And the plot to that one was he was hosting Saturday Night Live. Who was? Stan Lee was. Okay. And I remember there was a kid going, this would be horrible. Because all his jokes were like, I met the thing the other day.

I said, how's it going? He went, Rocky. Wasn't it an issue of Spider-Man? It was an issue of Spider-Man. Stan Lee exists in the Spider-Man universe? Yeah, yeah. I don't know. Yeah, there's questions I have about that also.

What does he do for a living? He draws a comic called Web Crawler. It's about an internet search. It's loosely based on this spider figure. Yeah, that's right. How could he be on hosting Saturday Night Live if he hasn't done the thing he's most famous for?

I don't, yeah. I guess it folds in on it. It's like on What cast? What era was it? The original cast? It was the Belushi era, but I didn't realize how bad the artists were until I read it. I realized I didn't know who anybody was supposed to be at any point.

Everyone just had the same face and so they'd be like, Hey, John Belushi, I'm Dan Aykroyd. But I'm like, well, they're friends. They don't have to introduce themselves every time they come to work. Well, I'm with John Belushi. Maybe. Hey, I'm your friend, Dan Aykroyd.

Quit shouting at me. Oh, man. Yeah. With your very special guest host, Dan Lee. Oh, it was terrible. Well, there's nothing else, huh? It's 1977. Totally.

Almost live won't exist for 64 years. Yeah, it's because there's also been comics where, like, Don Rickles at one point is in a Marvel comic where he, like... Or maybe it's DC. He, like, beats up Batman or joins... Don Rickles does? Don Rickles, yeah. He kills Batman.

He's like, I'm a nice guy. Hey, Batpuck. There have been a few special editions of comic books like that where the main character dies, but it's never been in the crossover. A celebrity comes and kills a beloved. Gene Simmons just killed Archie. kills a beloved yeah oh gene sims just killed archie uh yeah because like uh obama was in a spider-man comic when he first uh we took office as yeah there's like and that was like a bestseller and the episode down kissed on his inauguration he kissed Spider-Man

I want to say he said at last but yeah the David Letterman one I think Paul Schaefer knocks out one of the bad guys

at some point that's how bad the made up bad guys they made for that issue was that Paul Schaefer was able to sock one out but it was fun

it was fun because I'm not a I went with my son oh yeah at the expo because I'm not a, I went with my son. Oh yeah, at the expo. At the expo, but I'm not a big comic book guy, but the one comic I did buy that I heard about like maybe a year or two ago, and it was like two bucks,

but any of your listeners, I recommend you get a copy of Howard the Duck 16. It was one of the best pieces of writing I've read in any form of any genre. And it was basically the, they had like an ongoing storyline. And then Steve Gerber, the head writer, missed the deadline. And then it's just like a comic book long essay of just him writing like page after

page of him beating himself up and what a loser he is and why did he miss the deadline and he had good things going in his life and he screws everything up, he touches and he seems like a smart guy, but he's just faking it and he's actually an idiot. And then even like the letter page where people he's just faking it, and he's actually an idiot. Wow. And then even, like, the letter page, where people write letters to the, it's all these letters going, like, Steve, you're trying, and you try to be yourself.

Wow. Yeah, you try to be self-referential and pulled some Tom Robbins thing, but you didn't quite pull it off, signed Steve Gerber, like, all the letters were to himself, like, about what a loser he was. And I was like, this is amazing amazing so that's pretty cool i recommend that now howard the duck was a comics book before it was a movie yeah yeah yeah it was actually kind

of funny it wasn't it would have it would have had to have been yeah to make someone want to make them yeah exactly yeah well because uh that would be really harsh if you like made this crazy comic book and then somebody's like, it's going to be a Hollywood movie. And you're like, yay. And they're like, oh, it's the worst movie. It's one that people reference as the worst movie. I saw it as a kid and had no idea it was the worst movie. That's true. I thought it was awesome.

Yeah. Yeah. What's the premise? He comes to Earth and he smokes cigars he's like a danny devito and he has sex with leah thompson doesn't he yeah implied there's definitely implied yeah yeah there was a lot of that in like the 80s that that was fine for a girl like fall in love with a robot or uh or a duck from outer space yeah because like didn't it didn't wasn't there a romance between the woman and Johnny Five in Short Circuit?

Like, didn't they dance at one point? And he's, like, showing her the true meaning of love. And he's like, I'm not looking for anything serious. Yeah. And then when she starts talking about commitment, he's like, I'm powering down. Malfunction mode. Yeah. about commitment, he's like, I'm powering down. Sleep mode. Yeah, because there was a romance between Robocop and

his lady. Robocop has a human heart. And a human lower face. Or front face. And then the guy had the thing with the mannequin. I guess there was a lot of weird fetish. I don't know what you would call that. What is it when people want to have sex with objects?

I don't know. Oh, anthropomorphilia? It sounds right. I could have made that up, but it's pretty good. It is pretty good. I believe you. Mannequin was, and sequel, was about a mannequin that came to life. But only one guy could see it is that right is that

how it was it wasn't that like him and his friends all with this mannequin put a different head on oh yeah how come that was never like oh tonight we're gonna put man arms on her and see what happened they probably just didn't have the effects. And because that wasn't the plot of the movie. What was the plot? She came to life. She was Kim Cattrall, if I'm not mistaken. That's right.

That is correct. I don't remember the actor's name. Was it like Andrew McCarthy or something? Somebody like that, yeah. And he worked in a mannequin factory. No. Because then every night he would hear the screams of the other mannequins ripped apart and shoved in a crate well he worked in a department store but only one mannequin came to life oh that's weird was it uh it would had a that's

the part that's weird it had a gypsy's curse placed on it. After the... A vat. A vat. A vat of mannequin wax. Yeah. Burned the gypsy's wife. The male gypsy then placed a gypsy curse

on the remaining wax of mannequin. There's a band called Wax Mannequin. Is there really? Yeah. That's fine. That's fine. You approve? Sure.

And so then he falls in love with the Mannequin. But their love is forbidden. Much like Splash. Yeah. Where he fell in love. There was a lot of that. Yeah. Difficult.

Interspecies. Big was like she fell in love with a kid basically and he fell in love with uh uh a fortune telling box yeah fortune telling gypsy cursed yeah um yeah so anyways uh i don't know what happened better or worse for gypsies uh with that show, I think worse. Okay. You know the show I'm talking about? Big Fat Gypsy Wedding or Gypsy Sisters? Oh, I don't know what Gypsy Sisters is.

Is that, is there, I think it's a spinoff. Oh, okay. I don't know if it's called that. It was, this was, this sounds like a horrible story. But a couple years ago, the New York Times tried to do a study about the most discriminated against groups of people. Okay. And- Australians?

Is it Australians? It wasn't Australians. No, but they- Mannequins. It was mannequins. They went to this forbidden- Howard the Duck. Robots.

People were offended. They didn't dance together. They're not allowed to dance. That's right. I don't want your robot music around here. There's a robot entrance and a human entrance. There's robot music around here. There's a robot entrance and a human entrance.

But they took all these different groups and then they asked people, they're like, do you believe these negative stereotypes about them? Check off the ones that have these negative stereotypes. And then I guess as the control, they threw in groups of people that don't exist. Like there's made up like flin flans or something. I don't know whatever, what these groups would be. Gypsies ranked below the fake groups. Like they were trusted less than the made up ones. We're getting more of a. Yeah.

So the gypsies were. So I'm going to say things are getting worse. The most discriminated against. The most. They were discriminated against below fictional groups of people. So I would say things are worse. Oh, like leprechauns and such. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I would say worse than. Yeah. and such. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would say worse than. Yeah, but then this show is like, you've seen this show, right? My Big Fat. I've never seen the episode, no. I've heard a lot about it, though. There's a British one and an American one.

Yeah, I've only ever seen the British one. And you can't, like, it's all subtitled because it's like, you can't understand through their accent. But that's a British thing, not a gypsy thing right but don't they have uh uh isn't there like some region like region they're from the north and it's very like thick brogish accent uh and then it's about their crazy tacky weddings right yeah and the fact that there are always physical fistfights. They usually get thrown out of the venue. The venue doesn't want...

They call themselves travelers. Travelers, that's right. If the venue catches wind or the hotel catches wind that they're travelers, then they won't accept them. They're very like... They won't accept traveler they're very like they won't accept travelers checks yeah uh but aren't the travelers different than gypsies aren't they i thought well the weddings are big fat and gypsy but the people are travelers so i don't know uh and they use gypsy in the title oh and i've always heard the term irish travelers to describe them that's why or pikeys is uh as snatch taught us yeah it's snatched on us anything it was the term pikey yeah it's when we all kind of fell in love with jason statham um and uh i lost it guys that's

all right wave you're doing great it's a mad what's the rowdiest wedding you've been to uh do you know as far as as, cause I've, I've, I've always been very formal weddings. Why are your stories of weddings just going insane? I think the rowdiest one I've been to wasn't actually, well, probably my cousin in Italy.

Like they really got fucking just smashed. Like at one point, like she was, she was lying face down. Yeah. Like on the steps with a cigarette, like lit cigarette that had burned all the way down to her fingers. And yeah, so that one escalated. But it never, I don't think that one, there was, well, I think that actually there was a couple of fights.

Not fist fights, but screaming matches. So yeah, that was the rowdiest one. But then did you go... Years ago, there was a comedian in town named Jamie Hutchinson. Did you go to that? We were the first to... I showed up with some instructions

for his wedding and was ejected. You're going to be nervous your wedding night. I've taken it as a technical writer. I've written up some that I imagine is what technical writers hand around as a joke, a gag for the stag party yeah here's how to approach a lady

repeat so so we went and yeah consistent with the theme we got Nicky and I were the first half to leave due to indulgences. I didn't catch the rest

of the stuff that happened, so we may have set the ball in motion. You were asked to leave? No, we just were in no condition to remain. It was an open bar and more than half of the people there were stand-up comedians. Yeah, that'll do it. So it was just...

Oh, I do recall, I won't say who it was. Someone said, Jamie owes me 40 bucks. I'm getting it at this bar. Which was a weird tone to take. As comedians, we're used to getting two drink tickets. Yeah, yeah. There was a definite split too between who – like the comedian side of the aisle and the not comedian side of the aisle because most of the comics had either borrowed a suit or didn't know how to tie a tie. Yeah.

Lots of ill-fitting borrowing an uncle suit or cummerbund too high. Yeah. And for some reason, Red Robinson was there. That I do not remember. I cornered him and started drilling with questions about Gene Vincent and then realized I was just being a jerk. I was like, never mind, I'll leave. And then he goes, no, the music was great. I was like, I'll quit bugging you.

And I left and walked away. For people not from Vancouver, Red Robinson is a legendary local broadcaster and Gene Vincent is someone I haven't heard of. Legendary local broadcaster and Gene Vincent is someone I haven't heard of. He was like a 50s rock and roll guy that – Oh, okay. They actually put out albums together of him interviewing him and introducing the beginning of him. He did Bebopaloo Bop. But I don't really know him. The reason he sticks out in my mind the most is because I actually worked at this bookstore with a guy that was in a rockabilly band.

Was he annoying? No, he was really cool. the most is because I actually worked at this bookstore with a guy that was in a rockabilly band. And I was annoying. No, he was like, he was really cool. But I've been there for maybe three days. I didn't realize he was in a rockabilly band. How did you not realize it? Didn't he wear a pump door? And he looked like he went to a lot of rockabilly shows. I didn't know he was in a band.

So then he, uh, we had this case of books again, like we don't know what's in the book. So I opened it and it was, it was the whole thing was Gene Vincent biographies. And I went, I go, I don't even, I'm like, does anybody want to read a whole book on Gene Vincent, let alone like 50 books on Gene Vincent? And he's a very serious guy. He kind of, the steely Elvis eyes like stared at me and he goes, I was 10 years old and I heard Bebopaloo bop on the radio. And I was like, what?

And he started telling me all this stuff about Gene Vincent. Then he pulled out like a, out of his wallet, a picture of him at Gene Vincent's grave, drinking a can of Pabst Blue Ribbon. I was like, how did I choose you as the guy to say this to? Anyone else in the world would be safe to make that comment. Yeah, exactly. Gene Vincent, who gives a fuck? Wasn't Red Robinson, did we talk about that on the podcast when the Beatles were here?

Yeah, he introduced the show and then he tried and well they then the police were like this is getting out of hand like 20 minutes into the the one time the beatles played in vancouver yeah uh people were screaming there's too much screaming crowd was going too crazy uh and so uh they they told the mc red robinson to get back on the stage and tell everyone the show's over. Do ten minutes. Yeah. The show's over. We're canceling the show.

Go home. And as he was on stage, John told him to fuck off. That is pretty good. Like, that's like, you know, like career defining. Yeah. What would be the highlight of your career? Oh, and John Lennon told me to fuck off

he also that thing there said there was a story where it was I think like in the 80s and it was Jerry Lee Lewis and Little Richard

had a show together wow like a double deal here like a sitcom yeah it was called 88 Keys yeah and

and it was all about the weird sex stuff they're into. Yeah. I'm going out on a hot date tonight with your cousin. It was like an old-fashioned two-and-a-half men, but with gross sex. It was called 88 Keys because every night they would get 88 Keys. That's right. In a bowl.

And the catchphrase was, woo. So anyways, he was on, Little Rich was on stage and they couldn't get him off because he didn't want to be upstaged by Jerry Lee Lewis. And as he was bowing, he just had his finger, his hand behind his back and was fingering Red Robinson the whole time and flipping the birds. Flipping the birds. his finger, his hand behind his back and was fingering Red Robinson the whole time and flipping the birds. Flipping the birds. Yeah. Yeah.

And now there's a theater named after him. He's not even dead yet. Little Richard Memorial flipping the birds. Little Richard's not dead either. Nor is Jerry Lee Lewis. We'll remember him when he's gone. Is Jerry Lee Lewis dead?

No, he's amazing. I'm surprised he's still alive, though. He seems like he's lived a life. Yeah. Yeah. It's weird. I wonder if any young artist is like, I want to record an album with Jerry Lee Lewis. It's just like the craziest.

You know, like a Jack White or something. Jack White and Jerry Lee Lewis. Yeah. They made a Jerry Lee Lewis movie. Yeah, with Gary. With Randy Quaid. Oh, Randy Quaid. Yeah, Danny Quaid.

Buddy Holly. Randy Quaid. Randy Quaid's getting kind of Jerry Lee Lewis's behavior. And they made a Ray Charles movie. Yeah. Why has there not been a Little Richard movie? Or has there? Like, it seems like he's the most interesting guy ever.

He would, but nobody, like, who wants to play Little Richard movie, or has there? It seems like he's the most interesting guy ever. But nobody, who wants to play Little Richard? Because you're like, Ray Charles or Jerry Lee, that's kind of cool to play, but you're like, who wants to just wear a mirror jacket and a tiny mustache? He's kind of nuts. I don't know. I can't wait for that Liberace movie.

Yeah. Didn't it already premiere? It's an HBO movie. It'll be premiering soon if it hasn't yeah Michael Douglas plays Liberace oh and Matt his young lover oh does he get plastic surgery to look to look like Liberace yeah and I watched the Phil Spector one with Al Pacino as Phil Spector and man oh man that wig the scene where he wears that giant wig, so great. Is HBO becoming like the Lifetime movie channel of just like eccentric dudes? Yeah, I hope so.

Do they explain, like do they show any kind of his reasoning as to why he chose to put the wig on? Or are they just like no one knows why? That's the big mystery in his life. Did he kill her and why did he wear the wig? It is the – it is like basically the payoff of the whole movie is because you're like, when are they going to get to that scene? Where's the big wig? And then it's like his attorney makes herself sick because she's been working so hard on this trial and the whole world is against her because he's such a crazy guy, right? And there's all this footage of him, like, shooting guns during recording sessions.

Oh, yeah, yeah. He threatened Leonard Cohen once to bring it back to Leonard Cohen. And then... And the Ramones, too, which it seems... They seem a bit like a gang. Like, I wouldn't really pick a fight with the four of them at once. It's not like the Ramones is their last name. They pick that.

Yeah, yeah. Like a gang would. Yeah. And then, you know, so she's like, it's the big day of the trial. He's got to testify. So there's like all these scenes of them like doing mock trials and getting him ready and what to say and what not to say. Not what to wear on your head. what to say and what not to say not what to wear on your head and then he shows up that that day wearing that crazy wig and there's just a scene where she's just like crossing out all these

questions on the sheet and she's like they're like do you have anybody you want to call she's like nobody you're on like we're not calling anybody to the stand because uh he yeah he just threw himself under the bus by wearing that wig like as an attorney can't you just be like don't wear that damn wig like can't you just force, as an attorney, can't you just be like, don't wear that damn wig? Like, can't you just force someone to not? He showed up. They didn't know. He just showed up to court wearing that wig.

Yeah, but can't you go, come here, take the wig off? Like, don't you have some power? Same with, like, Michael Jackson when he shows up. He's like a, on trial as a pedophile. And he showed up in, like, pajamas. Yeah, that's true. SpongeBob pajamas. Like, you couldn't be creepier.

Like, can't someone be like, put like put all these you go to kmart buy him some clothes yeah my favorite thing about like prison movies is when the person gets out of prison and they hand them all their belongings so phil speck would be like one wallet with two hundred dollars cash one wristwatch, one eight-foot wig. One crazy, frayed wig. Spherical wig. It's funny.

I didn't know Stan Lee was wearing a wig and I didn't know Phil Spector was wearing one. I just thought he had a lot of volume. I thought he used the VO5 hot oil. Yeah, he just,

on the day he's supposed to testify, he uses the wrong shampoo. This humidity is killing me. Oh, man. So, Dave, what's going on with you? Not much. Well, not much.

You just came back from Sweden. Yeah. Oh, we should mention this. It's been a couple weeks. We had to pre-tape a couple of episodes because I was going to be away last week. And so we never mentioned who won the Max Hulk drive, Hulk Hogan stained glass window. Oh, yeah. Joshua Cross.

Cross. Cross. I believe is how you pronounce that. The R is silent. That's right. And I believe invisible. is how you pronounce that. The R is silent.

That's right. And I believe invisible. He won, not for a specific tweet, but for a number of tweets in which he tried to get Hulk Hogan to tweet back. Yeah, downright harassed Hulk Hogan to tweet about it. Wasn't successful, but was successful in capturing our hearts and imaginations and one stained glass portrait of Hulk Hogan.

So I spent the last week, my wife, Abby, her family, they all kind of live around the world in different places. Her parents live in China. Her brother lives in Colombia. Her aunt lives in Sweden. Well, I didn't decide, but I was cool to go along with it. To go up to Sweden. The most tropical of all the places. Yeah, and hang out there for a week and have a nice little vacation. And so that's what we did. And it was great.

And I ate a lot of weird things. What was the weirdest? There's this. I ate a lot of weird things. What was the weirdest? There's this... I ate some... They have these weird open-faced sandwiches everywhere. Like, that's the big thing. They have them in Sweden. And we went to Denmark a couple of times.

And I can't even pronounce what they call them. But they're just basically open-faced sandwiches. And you get a bunch of toppings. And one of them was herring. And it was really gross. Yeah. But, you know, I gave it the old college try hey good for you but the weirdest thing but we we drank this um aquavit which is i don't it's like a vodka thing but it was flavored with dill oh gross yeah dill and the the does it have a little pickle in the bottom like a tequila and the uh uh the danish word for dill is dilled

pretty good so that was a lot of fun um but no actually that like i was surprised i didn't barf at that but but it was actually was it were you drinking were you chasing a herring sandwich with uh no i mean we spaced that kind of stuff out and they also also there's um they have these chocolate bars there the the candy aisle in in grocery stores is bigger than the vegetable area like yeah it's a big candy culture. It's a candied culture. Yeah. And the one, like, you know how you, like, a lint chocolate bar? They'll do one that's filled with almonds and one that's filled with hazelnuts and one that's filled with raisins.

A dill bar. Yeah. There's this brand that had all of those. And it had, like, one that was filled with strawberry cream and one chocolate bar that was filled with corn nuts. Yeah, you did it. You did it, Sweden. What? And it was great.

Why? Oh, you had it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you were game to eat all of the weird things. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, good for you. That's me. It was because it's just got like entire corn nuts in it.

Gross. Which aren't nuts at all. They're just like popped, not popcorn, but like I guess deep fried corn. Where do corn nuts come from? Are they from heaven? They're fried, but are they battered or something too? There must be something on it. Well, they've got like a

you know, like a Cheeto dust or something. Well, some do. These didn't. These were just salt. Which makes it better. Yeah, I mean... But it basically tasted like... Well, it tasted like a corn nut. Because it's salty, but the chocolate is sweet, and it has like a corn nut. Gross. But it's because it's salty, but the chocolate is sweet and it has sort of, it has like a

corn pop. Oh. A corn pop aftertaste. Now, you said that it's like a big candy culture, but like Sweden isn't known as like toothless or obese society. No, they're very fit. So what, so... I can't figure it out.

Yeah, because like... Apparently this aquavit is quite the digestive. Yeah. And also, like, how are the Swedish people's teeth? Good? Yeah, they're fine. Yeah, good, not crazy, gnarled, like... You know, because like the British always had the reputation

of having like crazy teeth, but also crazy sweets. Yeah, Transylvanians have crazy teeth. Yeah, that's true. And an unconventional diet. We'll see. So, yeah, I guess I can see corn nuts and chocolate being a... Yeah, but I'm surprised Sweden got to it before America. Yeah, that's true.

It does seem a little more american yeah corn nuts seem like a really like one of the more unnecessary of snacks like it's like a pork rind yeah well pork rinds are at least they are what they say they are like because the corn nut like is only the corn there's no yeah well it's a corn impersonating a nut yeah i guess but why but why you guys some people are allergic yeah it's true but no it's like i i had a party nobody ever goes like ah and the corn nuts well that's they're too expensive you can't you're not gonna break them out at a party they do come in little bags they right? They come in little bags, but they're like, they're not a classy thing at all.

Yeah. But they're probably the same price as like a roasted almond. Ooh. Is that an expensive nut? I don't know. I don't know from nuts. What? Like, is an almond a good?

Yeah. It goes, here's what's the most expensive. Pine. Pine nuts. No, isn't macadamia? Isn't that like the truffle of nuts? Maybe. I don't know.

I don't like no macadamia. But isn't that like, I don't know. Well, everyone that comes back from Hawaii comes up with like piles of it. So it can't be that expensive. They sell them in the duty free shop. What's the most expensive nut? I said pine. But I don't think pine nuts are that expensive, are they?

They really are. Aren't they just food? Don't they just throw them in food? Yeah. Like like pesto yeah pesto is an expensive pasta yeah i i think brazil nuts oh okay because i've never seen them in anything yeah they're so expensive the least popular nuts gotta be the most expensive you couldn't develop a taste for it if you wanted do you get like uh like at christmas time like somebody will give you like uh like what are the ones that look like little bananas uh cashew cashew yeah like is that an expensive nut is that a luxury nut i don't think so nikki had my wife

had some uh it was like a loaf it was like on a vegetarian cookbook sure uh and then she bought in it had a ton of cashews in it right Right. But then she bought these like salted cashews and put it in. Like not knowing you're supposed to use like a raw cashew for like a vegetarian loaf. She bought like the kind you put out like in a dish at a bar or something, right? It was the saltiest thing I ever, I was like, this is, and it tasted really good. You're like, this is delicious. And I was like, ah, I can use some water. Oh, it was so salty.

That's all I remember. Yeah. So. Oh, my feet are really swelling up here. I used to think, as a kid, like, my sisters loved pistachios, and they thought they were, like, the greatest treat. But I don't think they're... Aren't they, like, advertised by Snooki? Yeah, like, they're advertised by the Winklevoss twins and Snooki and Psy.

Like every celebrity on their way out. You can feel like that pitch meeting at the advertiser was like, people think the pistachios are for rich people. We've got to bring them back down to the common man. Who's trashy that we can put on the pistachios. But pistachios, well well let's say like every now and then i'll say like an ad for something where it feels weird that um it's even being advertised you know i mean like it seems like more of like a concept like they're just like

yeah salt or something like it's just like danielle's ads for cotton yeah it's like the pistachio council this message yeah it's just like a like a staple yeah this is for memories like it's like the pistachio council. Totally. To approve this message. Totally. It's just like a- It's a staple. Yeah. This is for memories. Like, it's just like a thing. Like, it's not a company.

Well, they do have weird ads for like, self-confidence. Pass it on. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. That's right. By like the esteem council. Yeah. by like the esteem council the Mormons will often sometimes you'll see late at night

empathy yeah totally it'll be like someone in line like go ahead you only have one item and it's like ah be kind from the Mormons it is a grenade it seems kind of smug to me like I'm all hey Mormons like I do that too like don't think you're the only one that knows not to just punch a guy in the head when you see him.

We had that before the Latter Day Saints. Don't forget the Older Day Saints, or whatever the opposite of latter is. Oh, stairs. It's funny when, like, yeah, like the Egg Council just has like an ad for eggs. But there's no there's no alternative to eggs do you know what i mean yeah and there's no name brand yeah like it's not like coke is doing ads for cola yeah yeah or like just ketchup instead of like it's a good sauce yeah yeah i guess yeah guys let's put our differences aside and just advertise ketchup

that's how rough it is for pistachios the thing yeah it was uh a type of almonds i forget i remember their ads at one point were just like a can a week it's all we ask and i'm like are you begging me it's a small ask we just and i felt like a can a week was a lot to ask? It's a small ask. We just need to go through it. And I feel like a can a week was a lot to ask, actually. That's crazy. How big of a can? I don't know. I've never bought them in a can. You buy them in bulk.

Buy them with a bulk section. And it's always funny when somebody's advertising a thing where they're like, yeah, like begging you, like, we're not asking a lot. Just one can a week. Almonds. From the almond council. You don can a week. Almonds. You don't need them. You're never going to need them.

Almonds? Almonds are very like, that's an everyman. Oh, no, they're high end. High end? What is peanuts like? Peanuts is low end, yeah. But the only thing lower than a peanut is a sunflower seed, and that's not even a nut. But I feel like anything has the, like at this point, everything has been so fetishized in our culture that you could, like whatever it is,

you could find like the guy that's like, I'm opening an almond bar and you come down and your almond, it's Somalia. It's really raw. It's raw. Yeah, totally. We went to like an oyster bar on Friday and the guy was just ridiculous.

His descriptions of the, and he's like, this is this oyster and it's the only native one to Washington. And so the water has this level of salt in it. And I was like ridiculous in his descriptions of the – and he's like, this is this oyster, and it's the only native one to Washington, and so the water has this level of salt in it. And I was like, whatever. Nobody cares. Yeah, I'm like, you're putting it in soup. I don't care.

Oyster soup. What a world. Oysters are soup. I've never had one of those either, you guys. Oh, man. They're – They're rich. That's like a – that's right.

That's a fancy thing except smoked oysters are for like hobos they're not the fanciest thing the the thing about oysters is they're like what are they two dollars each like if you got half a dozen it would cost you twelve dollars maybe i'm guessing uh and then but they they you know they don't fill you up at all and they're they're risky yeah yeah it's the thing if you don't fill you up at all and they're risky. Yeah. And if you don't care if you live, you can get them really cheap. But like doesn't you need a special device to open them?

Do you have to whisper to them like, open please? You got to get a guy. You got to go to my oyster guy. We were in like on Chuckanut Drive in the Washington State and we stopped at a bunch of oyster places. Chuckanut Drive is on the drive from Vancouver to Seattle. One of the funniest things you can drive past. Chuckanut Drive. Chuckanut Drive.

Puyallup is fun. What's the fun river? I don't know. The Soyuz? It'll come to me later. Soyuz River? I don't know. It's kind of funny.

Anyway, you were on Chuck and Matt. Oh, we'd stop and get oysters at the stands everywhere. And we'd always go down and do that. And they would just shuck them for you. And they were great. And then they changed the laws with it. And then they'd be like, oh, we can't do this for you. But if you'd like to buy this shucker and go outside and do it yourself, you might die.

But we could do this. But they had to read us a thing. And by the end of it, you're like, even though I felt pretty safe about it, I was... It's a little disturbing. They don't do that because essentially anything you eat at a restaurant could go off, right? Yeah, especially fire crackers. Do you have to cook

oysters or do you just open them? No, they're raw. Oh, what? That seems... How did that start as a thing? That seems like a thing like... I've heard that... I've only had oysters a few times in my life, and I don't think this happened, but I've heard that they're still alive, kind of. Like, if you spray them with lemon juice,

they flinch. And if you prick them, do they not bleed? They flinch. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get it right in their eye. What's the matter with you? Tuber fl lynching. That's the restaurant policy.

You get an extra oyster if it's lynching. So, yeah. So that was Sweden. Yeah. You ate a bunch of weird stuff. Yeah. And a couple other things about Sweden. Go ahead.

My Abby's aunt, Sheila, lives there, and she's got two wonderful sons. Yep. Raised on corn nuts. And one of them, she said, hey, Albert, one of them thinks that the word whisper is whisker. That's pretty good. one of them thinks that the word whisper is whisker. That's pretty good. And they had this thing worked out already where she said,

hey, Albert, go whisker to Uncle Dave. And so he comes over to me and he leans in gently. He's like five years old. Leans in really slowly, puts his hand up to my ear to whisper. And he goes apparently uh she thought that was the funniest thing in the world that the way that he says rump he said he said it allhy. It's very uncomfortable to have a five-year-old whisper rump in your ear. I didn't even, like, if you put it to me to, like, try and come up with a bunch of different names for a butt, I don't know that rump would even make the top ten. It's like, it's outside of the everyday.

I think the Swedish word is some derivative of that as well. Rumpelstiltskin. Yeah. I think the Rump Council better get some ads of that. Rumpelstiltskin. Yeah. I think the Rump Council better get some ads out there. That's right. Get awareness back up. And the other thing we did is we did one day trip

to, well, we did a couple day trips to Denmark, but one of them was to the castle in Helsinore, which is where Hamlet takes place. The Shakespeare novel. The Shakespeare novel. The Shakespeare film. It was originally a novella.

And I've never read Hamlet. Have either of you? Yeah. Oh, yeah. But I discovered when I was there that Shakespeare chose that place arbitrarily. Oh, really? No story like that ever took place there. Seems about right.

Yeah, it was just, I think he liked the way it rolled off the tongue. And what was the souvenir shop there like? Oh, yeah, Hamlet stuff. Yeah. Last poor Yorick skulls. All the skulls you can eat. Things for putting poison in your ear. Eardroppers.

Oh, no spoilers. Oh, sorry. A drape that you stab someone through. Wasn't Mel Gibson? Didn't he do one of the better Hamlets? Is that not crazy? Like in retrospect, like now where Mel Gibson is now. I feel like it's one of the least crazy things about Mel Gibson.

And it was when he was at the top of his game. And he could, like, he could do anything he wanted. But did he do, like, a British accent in it? Or did he just, like, talk? He did Australian. Australian. He did Australian. Yeah.

Oh, wow. I completely forgot that that was a thing. And it was, like, super successful, too. Yeah, I think so. Yeah, I think it was. And it was like super successful too. Yeah, I think so. Yeah, I think it was. It was the most successful movie that year, if I recall correctly. It beat Honey and Friends for Kids. Oh, man.

But I think Shakespeare would do that with a lot of like, he would just choose places and not know, because there's lots of places where he'd choose like, like would take place in like, basically like Czechoslovakia. Right. And they talk about like sailing up from the shores of it but it's completely landlocked. He wouldn't even know where these places were. That's why it amuses me people are like well how could he have written all these plays unless he was like a prince or like they always have these weird

theories about him. But I'm like if you read into it he's pretty dumb about a lot of shit. He didn't get a lot of things right. The castle was essentially a toll booth. It was on this one place on the water where ships would pass and they'd have to pay a toll. Yeah. Like that was the only thing it ever did.

So the king didn't live there. Oh, that's awesome. King sometimes. The king moved around a lot. No. He supervised. Pick up some tolls and leave. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, wow. Did you get a, like a, I went to Elsinore and all I got was this stupid ghost shirt. All I got was stabbed behind a curtain. Yeah. Yeah, all I got was stabbed behind a curtain. All I got was, I went crazy. Something, something. Someone goes crazy in that?

Lady Macbeth? No, his. He thinks being crazy. But doesn something. Someone goes crazy in that? Lady Macbeth? No, his. He thinks being crazy. But doesn't his sister go crazy? Oh, no. Ophelia, his girlfriend goes crazy. Girlfriend, right. Yeah, he's kind of mean to her, and then she drowns herself.

Everyone's a little quick to react in his place. Yeah, that's true. There's not a lot of simmering, you know, emotion. Don't think a lot of things through. Yeah, it's a lot of simmering, you know, emotion. Don't think a lot of things through. Yeah, it's a lot of something happened. And there's a lot of plots where it's like, I'm going to tell, you know, I'm going to tell Graham that Dave did this. And I'm just going to count to the fact that he'll never ask Dave. And he'll just go kill himself.

We call it the Fraser formula. That's why Shakespeare stuff would never work in the day of cell phones. I was thinking about that movie Phone Booth. That just got in under the wire. Oh, sure. Well, and even at the time, not really. Because I remember having a cell phone when that movie came out. And being like, boy, they really had to write around this guy's cell phone's out of batteries.

And they're like, ah, it's a couple of years ago. So cell phones aren't as plentiful as they are currently. Circa 1998. No one's ever sent a text. But the guy that wrote the screenplay for that also did that other movie, Cell Phone. There's a movie called Cell Phone that he did that he wrote a screenplay for. The one with Kim Bassey? Yeah, yeah.

And I feel like there's like a... That was based on Hamlet. I feel like there was a trilogy. Like, I feel like there was a third one that just fell apart. Hamlet. Danger. Something happened, yeah, to danger.

Answer machine. Like, something didn't... It's something that he was like, oh, fuck, it just didn't make it. So cool. Two-way. Yeah. Oh, man. Wow. That sounds like a pretty good trip it was yeah welcome back thanks i am uh

very tired well you look great thanks uh how are you what's up with you i went to portland as mentioned in the previous segment oregon I went to... It's still the same segment. Oh yeah, that's right. Well, Josh was part of it. I went to Portland. I've never been before. I've never been either. Oh no, maybe I went as a child. I've been to Oregon. Yeah. I've definitely been to Oregon before, but

have you been to Portland? Yeah. So I went and did like, I ate a Voodoo donut and that was fine. It was just like a donut. I didn't eat one of the crazy ones because they have peanuts on everything, corn nuts on other things. Yeah, exactly.

There's bacon on one of them and maybe a roast beef one. So you had the plain glazed. Yeah, exactly. You waited an hour for the plain glazed. For the d glazed. Yeah, exactly. You waited an hour for the plain glazed. For the duchy. And I went to Powell's Books and I went to, oh, they had an arcade where you can drink. Like they have a bar. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's all old arcade games.

Oh, don't they have a weird strip club too? They have strip clubs everywhere. Oh, really? Everywhere in Portland. I guess. But don't they have one that's like a hip one that's got like something different? They all... Howard the Duck.

Yeah. Stripping. Yeah, there's Howard the Duck. Yeah, duck only strippers. Or duck themed. It's called Duck Tales. Is there one with a mannequin that's tripping? Yeah, it takes forever. And it's like strobe light so oh the shirt came off but i can think i think i see the fishing line

um no i did i went to one of the strip clubs that was like a themed it was a vegan one of the strip clubs that was like a themed it was a vegan oh okay strip club that was previously a pirate restaurant so it's like all these crazy and all the women have imitation breasts yeah and peg legs uh it was they had like a lot of the leftover pirate stuff was still kind of around i think the guy just like was like i'm not making any money in pirate restaurants. I'm fascinated by the vegan part. Yeah. It's better. Cause you wouldn't as a food in a strip club.

Yeah. Well, that's exactly it. Ever. No. Yeah. And I think I, oh,

I regret it as soon as I did it. Uh, because it was a thing. Like I was like in my head when they said vegan strip club, I was like, oh, it's going to be like, you know, all the tables are going to strip club i was like oh it's gonna be like you know all the tables are gonna have books or like it's gonna be like so you know like crazy like uh

librarian strippers or something i thought it was gonna be all themed you know like it was gonna be vegan you know like propaganda posters everywhere i don't know what i was expecting what are vegan propaganda you know don't eat meat i want you yeah yes we can not eat meat yeah so but it was just a strip club but it was previously a pirate restaurant like it was more the guy should have just sold it as like vegans i don't well maybe out of necessity yeah um but you know they could have just like called it the pirate strip club and that would have been yeah I feel like the pirate may have been a

pirate transition like all of that you know like they all have they just take the parrot off of their shoulder there I'm naked and I'm not flip up the right patch shoot a ping pong ball at the socket yeah so it was gross man uh it was like and also uh yeah it's uh there's a lot of strip clubs there like a like kind of i somebody said that there's more of them per kind of square mile than any

other place in amer, which is weird. Cause America also has, you know, like Las Vegas in it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah,

no, apparently a place who's, who's a main street is called the strip. Yeah. Right. See, and, uh,

parallels, parallels. The hotel that I stayed in was right next to a strip club. Uh, it was called the sunset strip off ofit 69, which it wasn't. It wasn't really off of Exit 69 because there's no Exit 69. Oh, there's got to be somewhere. Yeah, but not there.

It wasn't off of any exit. Well, technically it's Exit 69B. But yeah, it looked like a strip club from like beetlejuice or something it was crazy just like neon like way too much neon on the outside and like i'd go to a beetlejuice themed strip club yeah absolutely if i knew that that was what was going to be inside but i imagine you just go inside and be just another strip club like that's the problem with strip clubs is there's no you know what i mean there's no like yeah it's just a strip club that's there's not going to be anything fun that happens it's just going to be a strip club yeah like there's no obviously i was

i was hoping for something different what what would be a fun thing laser tag yeah laser tag you know anything like uh you know just like if it was famous characters from from your favorite movies yeah sure like karaoke style stripping where you uh pick you get to pick the songs okay and you get to sing while the person strips see i don't even own a strip club and i already came up with a better idea what song would you choose take my breath away uh the theme from fame yeah sure um but yeah like uh i don't know maybe there are maybe i didn't go to the right yeah well i mean you can't have a uh you can't have a themed strip club that has themed strippers no well because the strippers gotta they can't work at those same

club full time like Oh, yeah. It's kind of a circuit thing. It's not like every Friday night you go and see the same. It'd be like if you got booked into a pirate-themed comedy club, and then you're like, oh, I've got to write 40 minutes of pirate jokes just for this one weekend. It would be like doing a corporate gig for pirates. Yeah. But that would be amazing.

So scurvy's weird. Put your hooks together. So, yeah. Portland, it's nice. Also, a lot of people in Portland talk about Portland. Oh, yeah. Like it's a very... In the third person?

Yeah. Like just overhearing people talk, of the conversations i overheard like bob dole they were all just like yeah they were talking about how they're in portland like uh how good portland is and how much they like portland or portlandia was a big talk conversation they've heard they've got that they've got that half of the city's been in it like they're like oh i was in portlandia you might recognize me yeah this store was when i when i was there the this it was the weekend that a portland themed restaurant had opened here in vancouver a main street called like portland brewer yeah yeah uh is that portland themed it's just in portland they believed it was portland themed oh okay i was like i think it

might just be the name i'm not sure but they were like so what's on the wall and I was like I haven't been to it it's the Portland main theme no you go and it's just a weird strip club oh the wall is covered with weird donuts I thought it would be a librarian stripper

I don't know why the idea of a librarian they just thought it was the craziest thing that Portland had I don't know why the idea of a library. Like, won't she just like. But yeah, they just thought it was the craziest thing that Portland had reached that level of notoriety. That there was Portland restaurants in other countries that they were like, people just want to come here so bad. They're going to the Portland restaurant. And I was like, I'm not. They have a suburb called Vancouver, don't they?

Vancouver, Washington. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And yeah, I told somebody I was from Vancouver and then they just started talking about Vancouver, Washington. I was like, huh? Mm-hmm. Yep. Whatever.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You bet. No tax? Really? Yeah. No sales tax.

Oh, okay. And you can't pump your gas because I went to pump my gas and a kid just ran up and basically shoved me out of the way. And I was like, what's up? He's like, you can't pump your gas. And I'm like, oh, is this like a self-serve station? He went, it's Oregon. And I still didn't, I didn't really know what it meant. And then I got in the car and I was like, I guess I went to the full service.

I didn't understand. And then. Oh, so you left? No, someone, I paid and left. And then someone. Someone explained to me later that that's. She pushed you out of the driver's, someone I paid and left. And then someone explained to me later that I drive this. But I couldn't have been the first person to not know that was the law there. But yeah, you know, but it's come on, man.

I think New Jersey is the same. Oh, oh, no, your states. Oh, well, I like more sweden seems way more interesting and we discussed pumping gas in oregon not more like well i know we talked about corn nuts for a long time yeah we did talk about corn nuts and their um legitimacy in the nut world yeah what's a fancy nut? Yeah, yeah, yeah. We had a lot of fun. Yeah. But one thing that's no fun is overheard. Do you want to move on to them?

Yeah, but first we have to do a bit of business. Yes. Oh, let's do that. Life can be fun. Don't get carried away. You got to do the things you don't want to do

to get through the day. You got to shine your shoes. You got to sweep the floor. You got to clean your house. You got shine your shoes, you gotta sweep the floor, you gotta clean your house, you gotta do some more. Take care of business. Stop Podcasting Yourself is supported by IFC presenting Marin, a new comedy

based on the life and podcast of comedian Mark Marin. It's where Mark explores his day-to-day struggle to maintain relationships outside of his podcast and his beloved trio of cats. Marin starts this Friday with guest star Dave Foley at 10, 9 central

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Yeah, if you want to propose to Marc Maron. Yeah, or his beloved trio of cats. Absolutely. Also, while we're in the business mode, May 15th at the Little Mountain Gallery, I'm doing another edition of Ring-a-Ding-Dong Dandy. Rock and wrestling. Absolutely. The wrestling slash comedy show. Basically, where we just watch old wrestling clips and talk over them. edition of ring-a-ding-dong dandy rock and wrestling absolutely the wrestling uh slash comedy show basically where we just watch old wrestling clips and talk over them but uh that's

good value for your buck yeah yeah may 15th little mountain gallery well let's move on to overheard absolutely overheard overheard overheards now what these, they're a thing that, shut up, Graham. These are a thing that happens once in a lifetime. Absolutely, Dave. Some people wait a long time for a... There's no Hulk Hogan news. It's time not for Hulk Hogan news. Sure.

There's a time to live, a time to die, a time to turn, and a time to... Hulk Hogan didn't do anything this week. I mean, there was one one thing but it was a stretch it was a stretch well then we're not gonna ask about it yeah what did hulk hogan do this week what was the stretch did he stretch uh yeah yeah he met uh um his uh guy who's like the inspiration for hulk hogan uh and i can't remember his name because I didn't write any of this down. Billy something or other. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Billy West. Yeah. Billy West. Psycho Billy West. I don't know. It was some video about a guy that had hepatitis C. And it was hard to pull what the story was. But Hulk Hogan was in it.

There were a lot of good nuggets. Yeah, absolutely. There was an inspiration guy that there was Hepatitis. Yeah. Feel good story. Yeah, absolutely. So keep your ear to the ground. There's a lot of bits and pieces to that story.

I'm sure they make a full story if you Google Hepatitis C, Hulk Hogan, and inspiration. I'm sure you'll figure it all out. This has been Hulk Hogan. There's no time for overheards. What these are, these are the things you hear that you're not supposed to hear. You overhear things. You oversee things.

You're in Portland. You hear people talking about Portlandia and how great Portland is. Let's all go to the Portland bar. Whatever people can't shut up about enough to be discreet, that's what you hear. That's what this segment's all about. And every week we like to start with our guest. And this week we've decided that our guest will be me. No, Dave.

Don't rock the boat that much. Josh, do you understand the rules of overhers? I took a sip now because I thought I had time. I thought you were doing your overheard. Do you accept the overheard challenge? I do. I do. So my overheard, we were in a restaurant once, and then the booth behind us, there was like

about three or four women in their sort of mid-20s, and one of them was in a rage and was very upset. Hulk smash. Yeah, she was very Hulk smash at that level. But I could hear this whole conversation going behind us, and she was like, yeah. So I'm at work, and I'm talking to Diane. I don't know her name.

She goes, I'm talking to Diane, and she says I'm at her cat. And I go, your cat? And I've worked with her for six months. And I go, your cat? Why am I just hearing about your cat now? Why am I just hearing about your cat now? And she goes, I don't know. It never came up.

Never came up. I go, well, where's a picture of your cat? Don't you have a picture of your cat at your desk? And she went, no. And she went, well, when's your cat now. And she goes, I don't know. It never came up. Never came up. I go, well, where's the picture of your cat? Don't you have a picture of your cat at your desk? And she went, no. And she went, well, when's your cat's birthday? And she went, I don't know. And she went, well, Lydia had a cake for her dog's birthday. When's your cat's birthday?

And she said, I don't know. So there's cakes for dogs, nothing for cats. These are the people I work with. And just shook her hand. And it was awesome. That seems very familiar. Like, I had deja vu in your thing.

Oh. Yeah, the... What's the point of having an animal if you're... If you're not going to make a cake for it? Well, if you're not going to bring it up for six months. Like, you should be the point of having an animal if you're... If you're not going to make a cake for it? Well, if you're not going to bring it up for six months. Like, you should be the kind of person who can't shut up about your dumb animal. That's how I feel about people with cats.

People think I don't like cats. I have nothing against cats or dogs. I just don't care about your relationship with the animal. Like, I don't want to hear about a face it made that you're going to try to do. Like you're not a puppy. So don't try it. I remember at some point I was hanging out with somebody that I had known for like a long time. And they were talking about their kids.

And then they asked me if I had kids. And I was like, don't you think I would have participated in one of these conversations earlier? Like, oh, hey, guys, I also have a kid. I can relate. Hey, Graham, do you have a kid? Oh, yeah, yeah. I'm glad you asked. Let me think.

There are – I have coworkers who I don't know anything about. Like anything? Well, like I know the – you know, what country they're from. I know their basic shape. But if you found out that they were like... A rockabilly dude. No, that would really surprise anybody. Like the one day he didn't cover up his teardrop tattoos.

Like with makeup or whatever. Is that a rockabilly tune? I'm pretty sure Rockabilly guys have that, like either a dagger coming out of their eye or something like that. No, you're thinking of... I think that's murderers. Oh, yeah. I know they're definitely murderers. But I feel like that was co-opted by the Rockabilly...

Rockabilly? The Rockabilly folks. That's where Bullwinkle and his friends sing about cars. That's something my mother would say. You and your Rocky Billy music. Turn down that Rocky Billy. Rocky Billy. What is Rocky Billy music about?

Is it about cars? About playing chicken? About switchblades? I think it can be about anything. Yeah, Wobble-Loo-Bobble-Loop. Is that the one you said? Be-Bobble-Loop. Be-Bobble-Loop.

I think that's also rockabilly that you mentioned, yeah. Nonsense words. It's about nonsense. It's about girls. She's my baby. Yeah, Dead Man's Curve. Is that a rockabilly

or is that different? I think that might be surf rock. Oh, okay, sure. All right. Because I really don't know anything about it. just know pompadour and i think i well obviously you don't i thought teardrop tattoo was part of it yeah seemed like a guy that would know uh teardrop tattoo uh pompadour water wings uh yeah yeah these are the things we know about rockabilly um the all the water wings the guys walk backwards the water wings

they do tai chi in the morning yeah we're describing old asian ladies we're just talking about whatever we're just coming up with a composite of nonsense rockabilly people just walk backwards oh yeah yeah they have tattoos right um they go to the malt shop where do they go yeah they where do they go they go to work and they go to the rockabilly where do they work on cars yeah i mean they work wherever you can keep cigarettes in your sleeve, T-shirt sleeve. But do you mean like rockabilly music? Guys now? Yeah, yeah, now.

Actual people that performed rockabilly when it was a popular form of music. No, like people that are rockabilly people now, do they all just hang out at tattoo parlors? I don't know what the hell they're doing. I don't know because I don't understand. Like I don't understand people that are reliving a 60-year-old time. I don't know why certain things become

these cult things. It would be like if someone in the 50s was living 1890s. Just like a penny-farthing bicycle. And weird things come back and I'd be like, I'm into Big Band, so I'm going to ration my sugar and go down to the train station and kiss my

girlfriend. I don't know why certain things just continue on. You can be a rockabilly guy, but I can't. I'm going to the train station and kiss my girlfriend. One of us will be on the train, one of us will be on the platform. Yeah, exactly.

Dave, do you have it over here mine is uh i think a couple weeks ago i was telling you about on robson street there's a palm reader okay out in public on the street out on the street yeah he has gotta be hard in the winter with those gloves a couple of a couple of lawn chairs set up. And I just, I didn't even, because he used to be on one place on Robson and he's now moved to another place. I didn't know he was there. And just as I was walking by, I noticed him and I overheard him talking to a client. He was reading the poem and he was saying, no, now would not be a good time to quit your job. no, now would not be a good time to quit your job. So I love it that, A, it was someone who had legitimate questions for this guy.

It wasn't just doing it as a fun way to waste five minutes. Somebody on their lunch break, right? Also, you're getting career advice from a guy who stares at people's hands on the street. Don't quit your job. You might end up doing this. I went to one palm reader and it was just, again, like five minutes to kill time. And I thought it would be kind of fun. And so I just sat down to get my hand.

And then the guy just rambled for five minutes. And it was almost like breaking a sweat by the end. And he's just making up stuff. And some of it applied. Some of it didn't. But they're all things that would apply to sort of any human. And then at the end,

he goes, well, you didn't really, you didn't really give me much. And I go, and I go, what? He goes,

well, certainly there's like some back and forth like we talk. And I went, you're a, you're a psychic, right?

And then he goes, he goes, yeah, but I need to know if I'm going on the right track or not. And I went, but you're a,

you're a psychic. Like, I don't need to tell you. And he went, usually it's not as cold of a reading. And he went, usually it's not as cold of a reading. And I went, okay. Wow.

Yeah. Can you, so you have to be there. You can't, like, do that thing where you. Where you scan your hand. Where you pour glue on your hand. Oh, gross. And then peel it off and mail it to a palm reader. Oh, that would be much more convenient.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sends you back a bunch of instructions. I'm a busy guy, but I do have ten minutes to stand here in a room and let this glue dry on my hand. I'm thinking about quitting my job. Yeah, let me know if that's a good idea. At the glue factory. I'm a horse. I see bad things in your future.

Did you do shoe readings? Yeah. Oh, lordy. So that's the show. Yep, absolutely. Thanks for listening. Good night, America. In addition to overheards, we also have great ones.

Yeah, thanks. I knew. Yeah, you knew. I knew. Yeah, you knew. Mine came courtesy of two very – I don't want to say gothy because they weren't gothy guys. But in that general area, no face makeup or nails or anything like that, but all black clothing. Were they hackers?

Yeah, they were hackers. They were totally hackers. they were hackers they were totally hackers were they cyber punks they were hackers but like if they neither of them could afford a computer like that like like uh like hackers that would use the public life you can't afford not to have a computer oh speaking of which here's the thing here's a question i have for you what percentage of homeless people do you think have email addresses oh in portland i would say 100 i'd say worldwide maybe not worldwide north america i don't like zero percent north america wide uh email addresses yeah and when did email start mid Mid-90s? Early 90s? Sure. I'm just thinking about people who would have like had a successful career and then the bubble burst.

And then they ended up hitting rock bottom. But a lot of people would get emails when they just went through the basic school system. I'm going to say 100%. I've done the tally. That's 100. 60, I'm going to say a hundred percent. I've done the tally. That's a hundred. I'm 60. I'm going to say, I don't know.

It feels like every time I go to the library, there's a lot of guys there. Um, and they'll be watching like, uh, pornography. No, they'll be watching like a,

like a Spanish soap opera or something on YouTube. Like they'll be watching something really bizarre. And I'm like, why are you like, do you come here every day to watch this and keep up on it? Or is this, is this maybe if you spent a little less time doing this, you wouldn't be homeless? Like is this – was this before or after the film?

No, he's mounting a comeback. He wrote telenovelas and he's doing research. What are people like now? I haven't written one for 25 years. I don't have an answer to this question. Oh, I thought – But I think it's – yeah, over 50 percent. Yeah, 100. I did the math because if you think about it, yeah, over 50%. Yeah, 100.

I did the math. Because if you think about it, what percentage don't? Zero. How many do you think have, like, a separate email? Like, have one hotmail where they send all their, like, J.Crew catalogs? Well, I thought you were, like, shared with their spouse. And then a Gmail for their important stuff. Yeah, absolutely.

And like a regular Twitter feed and then like a novelty one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Under a fake name. Homeless Hulk guy. Yeah. Rockabilly Hulk. Is that something? That would be a great Twitter handle.

I can't think of a verb. Like Hulk blank. Yeah. Hulk smash tattoo Anyways Hulk shimmy If you're a rockabilly person that'd be weird

Send us a letter Send us a post Bebop, bluebop, Hulk smash, boom, or something. There you go. That's right. So these two guys, two gothy looking guys, skulking down the sidewalk in Portland. One guy says

to the other, we should go to Starbucks. And the other guy says, why? The first guy says, because I hate myself. To which the second guy says why the first guy says because i hate myself to which the second guy says join the club so they were really sad about each other but still hanging out with each other do you think he also hates himself or he also hates i think he was telling that guy like this we both hate you and your dumb coffee shop choices um now we also also have overheards sent in to us from around the world.

Wow. If you want to be one of those people, you can send it in to spy at maximumfun.org. And this first one comes to us all the way from Parts Unknown. Parts Unknown. Patrick M is the name of this person. Patrick M. Did he pay $200 to get his picture taken with Stan Lee? He's going to tell the story I told earlier.

Yeah, exactly. And then Stan Lee said. My wife has to walk through some people's property for her job sometimes. And last week, yeah, she's a burglar. Yeah, exactly. She's Ferris Bueller. This is a sign that somebody's just printed off of their computer. They did it on Word or whatever.

It says, this property is on Neighborhood Watch and Police Watch 24-7. If they catch you, they will prossecute you. If I catch you, I will cut your balls off. Wow. Yeah. They're expecting males only. Yeah. Well, you know, statistically, right?

Robbing is a man crime. Yeah. And heartbreaking is a woman's crime. Right? I don't know. What is the most statistically woman-based crime? Oh. Like where it's like, oh, it's definitely a woman who did it.

Almost none of them. It's always almost like always men. Whatever they do though, I feel like they'll be called the black widow. In the headline, in the story. She committed four bank frauds. She bounced a check. Ah, the blank widow. The blank widow. She bounced a check. The blank widow. The blank widow. She bounced a blank check.

Very hard to do. This next one comes from Ashley M. Ashley M. I have an overseen to share with you. I work as a pharmacy technician at a local hospital. Today I brought up some patient's medications to a nurse. While she was signing for them, I happened to look over her shoulder at the computer screen in front of her. She was on Google, and she had been searching the following question.

Is it safe to heat your home with jet fuel? What the fuck? Where do you get it? Yeah, let's say I just came into some jet fuel. Where do you get it? Let's say I just came into some jet fuel. My husband came home with a couple gallons of jet fuel. I don't know.

I don't even know if the answer to the question is no. I mean, I'm going to assume it's no, but if you light any fuel on fire, it's going to create some kind of heat. But not necessarily safely. Yeah. Yeah, that's true. But that's the fastest way to heat your home.

Known to man. I have a question. Can we go back? Yes. We were talking earlier about coworkers who you don't know anything about their private life. When you said that person was a pharmacy or a technician, it reminded me that, oh, I wonder if, I think I have a friend who does that.

What's worse, having coworkers who you don't know anything about their personal life or having friends who you don't know what they do for a living? I think that's interesting. Probably the latter is probably worse because they're your friend, right? And so you've never asked them how their job is. Or most likely they've told you and you've made no attention. Because I don't think they're hiding their job.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, it sounds boring. I'm going to forget you said that. Yeah, because it's fine. I think it's fine that you don't know anything about a coworker. Because I have a lot of friends's fine I think it's fine that you don't know anything cause I have a lot of friends and I think this is quite common

where you're like are you still doing that thing that uh what do you so what are you up to these days like are you still doing

coffee barista yeah are you still into that rockabilly culture I don't notice

your pompadour is no longer there. You have a bowl cut now. The weirdest I find is people that, like they won't even know what their parents do. Like I'll be like, what do your parents do? And they'll be like, I don't know. Like he goes to this office. Like they don't really seem to have the slightest idea.

Like I would think you'd at least understand the basic sense of what... I mean, I understand you wouldn't know what necessarily... What do your parents do? Like, when it's a kid, it's easy, because you're... You know the basic jobs. You know, fireman. My dad's a fireman. My mom's a firewoman. My dad's a cowboy. My mom's an astronaut.

My son... My son... There was people coming to the school because he's in kindergarten. And then every week they've had someone come to the school and talking about different professions. Yeah. And then recently he talked about this landscaper came and talked about the construction stuff. And he goes, oh, it was this kid's dad. And I go, are these parents that are coming in? And he goes, yeah.

I go, am I supposed to come in and talk about my job? And he went, no, no, no, dad. It's just the interesting job. Does he know what you do? Apparently he does. So I've heard the Ariel joke. I don't want to. No one wants to hear it.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute. A landscaper made the list. Oh, they dug stuff they were so into actually for, if you're in kindergarten, landscaping is a pretty awesome job. It's a job you could really dig. the list. Oh, they dug stuff they were so into actually for kindergarten landscape. It's a pretty awesome job. It's a job you could really dig. The kids are all killing themselves

laughing at that. Totally. The guy's name was Ariel. It's a font. What the fuck? The font is technically the software. What you're describing is the typeface. Sir? The font is technically the software. What you're describing is the typeface. Sir.

Mistress Dobbs. This last one comes from Brendan C. in Florida. It says, Dear Dave Graham and splendid guest. I was at the checkout line at Walmart. There was a mother in front of me buying several shirts and shorts for her son. They tallied up the final bill, which came to $75.

The little boy shouted, $75 for a bunch of shirts? After his mother paid for the clothes, he shouted in even more disbelief, you have that much money? Pretty great. Pretty great kid. Yeah.

That's the greatest. Yeah. He's practicing to be like a husband that gets mad when his wife comes home. Like, I bought a thing. It's $75. Just doesn't know the price of anything. Like, I love that if i wish that's the one thing i wish i could keep alive from my childhood not knowing what anything i'm just like but just like being so thrilled to have 65 cents in my pocket i'm not not thrilled when i

have uh like when i can make a dollar out of the change in my pocket pretty i'm pretty you're a dollar menu nair is that a mcdonald's thing i want to say yeah does burger king ever try to get in on the dollar stuff or they're just like we we know we're number two i think they've just given up yeah like i know he's gonna drink Sorry about that king with the weird mask. We're going to not advertise for a few years. Is Snooki available? Here she does pistachios. In addition to overhears that are written in, we also accept your phone calls.

If you want to call us, we're not going to stand in your way. It is a phone number that you can dial. It is 206-339-8328. Hello, Dave Graham and hilarious Colin from space. Matt with a bunch of voice from Oklahoma, and I have an over for you. I just pulled up behind a truck on the interstate, a Dodge pickup truck, a big black Dodge pickup truck, with the largest set of truck nuts I've ever seen in my life. They're about the size of a basketball. They're dragging the ground. He's got a vanity plate on the back that says, coming. 2-M-M-I-N.

That could be Cuban. Not with two M's, okay? No, that's right. He's just like a spice guy. Really into Mexican food. They were dragging on the ground? Oh, man. And there were those kinds of basketballs.

Oh, man. And that guy's phone was like, it was like speak and spell. Such a crazy sound. Talking about the weirdest subject. I've seen two large truck nuts. When someone is driving like a big car or a fast car, people always say they're compensating for their anatomy size. But like, it's a car.

But when someone has giant truck nuts, that's like you're literally... Compensating. Yeah, there's no innuendo there. Or is it compensating for something else? Like he has, his nuts are fine, but he has low self-esteem. Or he just has like something or he just doesn't –

He's allergic to nuts. Yeah, exactly. Because the big car is like – it sounds like it was probably a pretty big car if it's hauling around basketball size. What if it was a Smart? Maybe he's compensating for like a stutter or he can't speak. He's like, I just can't get the word out that I have these giant basketball size. I asked for... Oh, man.

What's the name of that funny name, River? Uh-oh. Here's your next phone call. Hey, David and Graham. I have an overseen for you walking by church at Nelson and Burrard. It's on that side of the church. It's saying, God is a loving shepherd. It has been changed to say say god is a shoving leopard

shoving leopard oh man yeah good work neighborhood kids neighborhood kids do it again yeah that wasn't even like that wasn't even a stretch from like it wasn't they didn't rearrange that many letters yeah it was just a quick just a quick pass yeah somebody who had other things to do That wasn't even a stretch. They didn't rearrange that many letters. Yeah, it was just a quick pass. Somebody who had other things to do that night. God is a shoving leopard. Picture it. Yeah. Get out of here.

Yeah. Not going to bite you, but you're bothering me. Good work. Did you ever do any of that? Have you ever rearranged the signs on a letter? I did that on a date once. It's an episode of Blind Date. We're going to go rearrange some signs and have a hot tub.

Then we're going to, yeah. Sumo suits. We're going to have a soak. Then we're going to learn, yeah, we're going to learn jujitsu. Yeah, and I'm accidentally going to go way too hard on you. And it's going to ruin the rest of the day. Not accidentally, but you're going to be like, oh, yeah, I'm super competitive. Did anybody ever actually eat on that show?

Because they would show the drinks, and then they'd show kind of the dessert. But, like, there was nobody ordering, like, oh, if this is on the show, I'm just going to order as many ribs. All you can eat ribs nights. I saw one, yeah, it was like a really douchey guy. He's like, I can't eat any of this stuff. can eat ribs nights. I saw one, yeah, it was a really douchey guy. He's like, I can't eat any of this stuff. I eat power bars. And he just pulled out two power bars and ate them super fast. With a fork and knife.

Yeah, and then just started farting. Oh, wow. Yeah. But yeah, I'm a fan. I'm a fan of switching the letters around. So you did it on a date. Do you know what you did? I think I definitely tried to make something say, like, butter ass or something like that.

I was trying to impress her. Those are the big two. Yeah. Yeah, I think it was like sass class. I was like, hey, check this out. I can make it say ass twice. Oh, you went for a date outside the sass class? Salsa class you could make into ass. Or salsa ass.

Salsa ass. That's pretty good. Which is Spanish for sauce ass. I did one. The only one I remember was we were walking into a comedy club. It was with Brent Butt and he goes, everyone always tries

to mess around with my name with the butt and he's like, it's already funny. You can't do anything with butt. Like, why are people always changing letters

trying to do stuff, whatever? And then I walked over and just changed it to rent a butt. And then he was like, brilliant! And he's like,

oh, you're thinking outside the box, Stubbs. He just thought that was the greatest thing. Rent a butt's pretty good. Yeah,

there's no A in Brent Butt. There was an A somewhere else. Yeah, he took it from the salsa class. I-a-butt's pretty good. Yeah, there's no A in Brent-butt. There was an A somewhere else. Yeah, he took it from the salsa class. Josh and I were at the SAS class earlier. Final overheard. Let's do this. Hey, guys.

This is Brian in Ann Arbor, and I just had the greatest overheard. I was at my veterinarian trying to get some heartworm medication, and there was another woman, a customer, talking to one of the technicians. I'm hoping she was talking about the dog's medicine because she said to the girl, is this the kind that's chewable or do I have to shove it down his throat? Do they make chewable medicine for dogs? I don't know what it is. I think there are ones that you can put into a treat, like a soft treat.

You can shove it in there and make the dog swallow it without noticing. Right. Yeah. It could be unlikely he would just chew it up and eat it, though. Yeah. Yeah. But they don't make, like, yeah, this one tastes like something a dog would like. No.

We've had ones that are, like, a liquid that you just pour over the food and the dog will eat his food. And you're like, hey, this tastes gross. It tastes like medicine. Yeah. We've had ones that are like a liquid that you just pour over the food and the dog will eat his food. And you're like, hey, this tastes gross. It tastes like medicine. But I'm a dog. I'm still going to eat it. Or we'll just crush up pills and mix them with peanut butter. Delicious. And then put them on our genitals.

Yeah, exactly. While people are waiting to throw you a surprise party. Exactly. While people are waiting to throw you a surprise party. And then I'll write a say anything to Young and Modern magazine. Is that what YM stands for? What is say anything? Say anything was the embarrassing story column.

Like, oh, my crush saw my tampon. My vagina. The one thing I wanted him to see, he saw. Yeah. I stood up in front of a jumbotron. Well, that brings us to... We had a good run. Yeah, absolutely. Dave and I are going to space next week, so we won't be able to do any podcasting from there.

Yeah. But we're going to, we're going to call in. Yeah. On a terrible space phone. Space phone. Now, Josh,

thank you very much for being our guest. If people want to find you, say on a, on a Twitter or something like that, you have a, what's your Twitter handle? I think it's Jewstoo. Like J-O-O-S-T-O-O.

Well, then you don't know. If you don't know, you just say don't know. I think it's Ju-Stewers. I don't know.

It is. How many? Never mind. I don't go on Twitter, but I go on Twitter once every four months. Okay.

And then I'll binge, like a binge and purge approach to Twitter. And then I'll binge, like a binge and purge approach to Twitter. And then I'll go crazy for like two days and just write every thought that comes out of my head. Tell me about the purge. And then I just don't ever go on Twitter again.

Yeah, you delete all of those tweets. When are you going to be speaking at this technical writing conference? Oh, it'll be in October. Oh, boy. Is it open to the public? It's very expensive and very boring. It's the Plane Conference for the Plane Language

the International Institute of Plane Language. Yeah, already. That's the if you thought you were jet-lagged already. Let's discuss the importance of plain language. Not plain language, like jet-lag plain. Like plain language. Not plain language, like jet lag plane. Like plain language.

Yes, exactly. Ah, see? Dave, don't make that face. That's the clarity in language we need. And anything else that you want to plug? Are you doing anything? Are you and Stan Lee have any projects going on? Nothing else right now I can think of.

No, no, I have nothing else to Well, thanks for being our guest. Thank you so much for bringing me back. Thank you.

I had a great time. Thank you. Dave's falling asleep. Poor Dave. So jet lagged. So tired.

We went forever. I'm sorry. Dave, any naps that you want to plug? No. Upcoming? You're going to

really take it easy this week, right? Recoup. As opposed to. Well, you go hard. Oh, I go hard. Yeah. All I do is win, win, win.

Yeah. If you want to get in touch with. What about you? Anything? You've got that wrestling show on May 15th. May 15th. That's all you need to know. Hoop-a-doop.

And if you want to get in touch with us, you can go to MaximumFun.org. You can write to us at SPY at MaximumFun.org, or you can call us 206-339-8328 and go over to MaximumFun.org and check out the blog recap that Dave does each and every week, pictures and videos relating to the content of this episode. Surely a picture of Stan Lee somewhere. Yeah. Some sort of rockabilly content. A rockabilly guy with a teardrop tattoo. If you can find one. If you can find the one that I saw that led me down that weird path.

A picture of a vegan strip club. Or not. Probably not. Probably not going to have any strip material. Okay. Alright. What about the Beetlejuice strip club? Hmm? How am I going to find a picture of this thing that doesn't exist? I think there was a strip club in the, How am I going to find a picture of this thing that doesn't exist? I think there was a strip club in the, didn't he at one point in the movie go?

Yeah, that's what I was thinking of when I saw it. Yeah. And thanks for listening to the show. Sorry to give you a task. Come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself. to stop podcasting yourself.