Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 273 - Kyle Bottom

Episode Date: June 10, 2013

Comedian Kyle Bottom returns to talk giving up World of Warcraft, a bizarre plant woman, and an electrifying city crew. We also count down the top 10 horses.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 273 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who I consider one of the extra expendables, Mr. Dave Shumka. Oh yeah, thank you. Oh, you're welcome.

I'm one of the, I mean, that's not a compliment. Oh no, that's true. I was going to say, I thought the movie in my head was called The Unexpendables. And I was like, oh, yeah, Expendable just sounds rude. The Exceptionals. Yeah, that's what I meant to say. You're one of the Exceptionals. Oh, thank you, Graham. I'm in a great mood tonight.

Great. Who else is on the team of The Exceptionals? Let's see. Ike Turner. Led by Ike Turner. Seems like a weird place to start. I know. I don't know why I thought of Ike Turner. Led by Ike Turner. Seems like a weird place to start. I know. I don't know why I thought of Ike Turner.

I'm sorry. Who would be on a team with Dave? Well, let's see. Who's got that one thing in common with Dave? Ike Turner. Yeah. Great mustache. Musical chops.

The only thing we really know about him. No one knows anything else about Ike Turner. Eat the cake, Graham. Eat the cake, right? That's his catchphrase. No, but seriously, who would be on the exceptionals? Beethoven. Sure, yeah.

Me, Beethoven. Famous deaf people. Iron Man. A bat. Yeah, like just a fruit bat? Yeah. Yeah. And rounding out this cast.

Mary Lou Retton. Exceptional. Yeah. We're mercenaries. Yeah. We've been hired by a mysterious man from an organization that goes by the name of Talon. T.A.L.O.N. All the letters stand for something.

Team of... Three more letters. Their the letters stand for something. Team. Uh. At. Uh. Three more letters. Their slogan is eat the cake. We don't know who runs that organization. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But he's a mysterious guy who keeps twirling his little Ike Turner mustache. Anyway, Graham, I'm in a great mood tonight.

Well, I'm glad. I'm glad to hear it. Our guest this evening, returning guest, third time returning? Third time. Third time's a charm, they say, Mr. Kyle Bottom. Oh, thanks for having me, guys. This is three episodes in a row you've been on, right? Yeah.

Yes. We don't usually do that, but this is... 71, 72, 73. Yeah. Well, welcome back. I mean, it's been a marathon, but it's been great to have you. Yeah, you're unexceptional. Do you want to get to know us?

Sure. Get to know us. Now, Kyle, hilarious comedian. Thank you. You are producing some shows in town, right and uh and uh what what else is going on what else is happening in the world of kyle bottom uh i've been unemployed for six months get out here we go yeah man it is six months ago i just i just started coasting uh my job uh disappeared one day. And, yeah.

Now, you had, like, a kind of a very unusual job for a while. Yeah, I had the anime job where I was writing scripts for foreign cartoons. Like, I was writing English scripts so the voice actors could redo them. Right. Yeah, and I did that for, like, a year and a half. And then my job just disappeared one day. And they were like, it'll be a couple months. And I was like,

I can wait till April. Now it's almost June. It is June. It sure is. Now, what is a typical Kyle Bottom day? Yeah, what is an unemployed Kyle Bottom?

You guys would be disgusted if you saw how I live. I live in a pretty vacant apartment. What does that mean? Whoa, whoa. Are you squatting? Yeah.

Isn't that the opposite of a vacant apartment? No, that's what it looks like. I'm moving out soon, so my realtor is going to have to come in and see how I live. Wait, you have a realtor? You're unemployed and you have a realtor? Oh, no, because I live... Landlord? You mean landlord? Yeah, my landlord.

But it's a realty company, so they're really inefficient. They don't care. Oh, okay. And are you in there, like, you know how they put a thing of cookies in when somebody's touring the place? Are you like, this is what you would look like if you lived in here. This is what a person would look like. Are they staging the home to be an unemployed guy? Yeah, they're going to bring in a TV and a throw rug.

Yeah, yeah. And it's for people who are really rich that have like a deadbeat son. They're like, does this look good? You want a pirate movies here? So how did this happen? How are you squatting? So for the last year, I have been living in this apartment, but I had a roommate the entire time. So we had the one-bedroom apartment divided into two separate living areas. One of us lived in the bedroom.

The other one lived in the living room. And I kicked my roommate out two months ago. Wow. For being too employed? and yeah amongst other things oh why no i just i just like you try living uh an entire year of your life in a one-bedroom apartment with another person there like it's it's really confining yeah well especially if you're not uh you know like mates you know yeah like in the british do yeah you're getting on all right now uh you don't have to name who the roommate is but i know uh from an anecdote that your roommate wouldn't use a plug to uh like if when he took a bath he wouldn't use like a plug to plug the drain he would use an orange yeah for the

for the first month and a half the same one he used the same orange and i just like i kept seeing it on top of the fridge and it it kept looking drier and drier. Oh, yeah. And it was solidifying, and it was losing that bouncy, orangey texture. Anyways. Yeah, yeah. He used to plug the bathtub. And I should point out that I actually had...

Was it like a mandarin orange? Like a little one? No, it was like a full-size orange. How does that work? It began shrinking. It doesn't really, does it? Because of pressure. Oh, science.

So yeah, the water wants to leave and so you put the orange over the hole and he said that you had to hold it there for the first little while until the water level was above the orange and then it would hold itself in place. Wouldn't something like a shower, wouldn't a shower help? Wouldn't you just take a shower?

He loved it all. Showers, baths. I remember one time I heard him take a shower, then a bath, then a shower. And when he got out of the bathroom, I was like, we need to talk. We need to talk about your masturbation. Now... And I should point out that I had two separate roommates over that year, so... Did they both use the orange? No, the orange came in with roommate number two.

All right. So you said, get out. Yeah, because I wanted my own space. I just wanted to be able to, like, walk around naked in my own apartment again and not be criticized. I'm going to make it in my own apartment again and not be criticized. Yeah, and it's been good. But then the fact that I don't have a job has really made it difficult to have my own apartment. So moving out.

Moving out. You're going to move in with another roommate? Yes, but in like a proper house where everyone has a room with a door. Oh, nice. You know one of those. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely. What is your policy on citrus fruits

at this new house? Yay? Nay? We got a bowl of them in the bathroom. Fun. For plugging up a bath, when we didn't have a plug, which, by the way, is like a dollar. Yeah. They sell them at the dollar store. Yeah, a really nice way is like a dollar yeah you sell those the dollar store yeah a really

nice one would cost a dollar um you can find them on craigslist for cheaper yeah but you gotta meet the guy and you're like yeah do i want do i want a plug owned by this guy you hear about the plug you want to see it in action meet me at the bath um i would just crumple up a plastic bag that seems like the the best thing ever yeah absolutely a sanitary solution pretty good idea chuck it when you're done or you know or or uh or eat it yeah or let it blow around in the wind oh my god there's so much goddamn beauty in the world yeah and it was all previously in my bathtub um so uh so unemployment is it like what do you do you sleep are you one of these guys you sleep into noon we're all out of bed check out the scene what do you do no i um

okay here's a day in my life here we we go. Like, and every day is the same. Soul crushing. I wake up at like, at 10. Feeling like P. Diddy. Yeah, exactly. That's why I slept in until 10. Because I deserve it. I have breakfast and a coffee, and then I usually just, like, fart around.

Yeah, because your old roommate isn't there to tell you not to. Yeah, exactly. Hey, quit farting. Just sit around and, I don't know, look at people's cats on Reddit. Sometimes I play video games a bit. I try and write. That does happen as well. Do you, both of you, are you good roommates?

No. Graham? I don't know. I think I'm okay. I do a lot of the, you know, like I take out the garbage and like I'm the only one who cleans the shower. Do you remember your first roommate situation out of your parents' house? Yeah. How was that?

Oh, actually, my first one was okay. My second one was a real nosedive from the first one. First one was, like, it was equal. You know, like, dishes were always done. Like, everybody did their part. And then the second one was, like, living with a kid. Like, that guy didn't know how to do anything. He didn't know how to cook.

He didn't know how to clean. He was, like, his girlfriend was really loud like when they when they had um you know fisticuffs mates when they were mates oh okay yeah uh they were really loud like and i i don't know i think he put his bed like exactly like where my bed was on the other side of the wall like it was really we set up a series of like uh arches to to make it acoustically suitable to you yeah it was real it was a real live at red rock situation um yeah i don't but yeah the first roommate i had was yeah he was really good you uh the first roommate i had my best friend max and I moved to West Vancouver. Oh, wow.

Because we were doing acting classes out there. You were acting like grifters. You were acting like young guys marrying old chicks. Old widows. We lived on the 10th floor of this apartment building. And it was a very similar situation. I slept on a futon in the living room and he had the bedroom. And yeah, we just had, I don't know, lots of good times.

Like I'd never drank a beer at that point. So I was like trying to get the taste of alcohol. How old were you? 18. 18. Yeah. So then you went from never drinking beer to drinking exclusively beer for like that whole year kind of thing?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I gotcha. So like things like sleep and cleanliness didn't matter as much back in those days. Totally. Right? So it was just like fun to not be at your parents' house. Yeah, it was great.

Sounds pretty good. Where's Max now? He, oh, do you want to know his address? Yeah, he sounds like a great roommate. Yeah, yeah. He lives at Oak and 12th. Yeah, he's good. He works at UBC now and has like a real job and is big into baseball.

Or is he just acting? That's when we had our falling out. Oh, really? No. It was all about the designated hitter rule. Dave, what about your first roommate? He was, it was at university, so it was like an assigned roommate. Yeah.

And I was 17. He was 36. No. Yeah. He was a real Rodney Dangerfield. Well, he was a gay guy who didn't know he was gay. But you did? I like it. Yeah. No, everyone. He was a gay guy who didn't know he was gay. But you did?

Yeah, no, he was like the most flamboyant gay guy who just like talked about how he loved going to raves and performing oral sex on women. What? Weird. Yeah. I mean, he put it a little more crudely. He didn't call them raves. He called them dance and like oh he was uh uh what one time he went to a tory amos concert and said it was a religious experience wow so like how long after that did you have to keep hearing about the Tori Amos concert? It was, he would, like, I don't know.

He had a lot of moves. He had a lot of female singers that he was into. Oh, really? So he would quote Courtney Love. Yeah. He would, you know, Ani DiFranco was in there a lot. That's who I was going to ask. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

What was that other kind of folksy guy? And I moved out without telling him. Do you think he noticed? Yeah, he noticed. How does that work in university, that you can move out? I think that your roommate had to commit suicide, and then you get all A's. Sometimes people... You saw that movie, too?

Yeah, yeah. Dead man on Campus. Oh, that's what it was called. Sometimes people... It had Zach Morris in it. Yeah. And shades from that thing you do. That's right. But sometimes people leave in the middle of the year.

Like move off campus at the end of the semester. Right. And so their rooms are up for grabs. Right. Oh, and is that what you said like well moving off campus don't i'll see you around here anymore no i said nothing oh you just left yeah i moved into the basement of the same building and then like he he was home for christmas in december and then i came back into a different room in january and uh did you guys ever one time he was like uh the de phone bill, we should split that.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. I made all these calls to 1-900-TORY-AMOS. I think those are your calls. I can't figure out who called 1-800-TORY-AMOS. Do you remember there used to be phone lines that you could call? Celebrity phone lines? And there would be like a recorded voice?

phone lines that you could call celebrity phone lines and there would be like a recorded voice oh also i think he uh referred to um uh the virgin megastore in vancouver as his mecca he has to make a pilgrimage there once in his lifetime yeah once he prays to it five times a day um uh yeah weird um i'm still stuck on this this thing that celebrities used to have that you could call. They'd have ads in the back of magazines. Yeah, there was a Simpsons episode about it. Yeah, with Corey. Corey, the Corey hotline. Because I only know that there were wrestling ones that you could call and hear a recorded message from.

George the Animal Steel? Well, Macho Man Randy Savage. And it would be paid by the minute? Yeah. But how much could you listen to? Like how much... Depends on how long it takes you to jerk off. Oh, yeah.

That was very stupid. I don't know what... Like, it's weird. It's not a thing that can exist now. Well, yeah, because no... I mean, every single one of those kinds of phone calls had to end with mom and dad finding the phone bill. Yes. Like, no kid ever got permission to do that. Like, maybe kids asked for permission, but no parent was like, oh, yeah, yeah, go ahead.

Call Randy. I think that was the first two minutes of the call was just a recording that said, like, remember to ask your parents. Do not continue on this call. There's no way an adult is calling. There was a version of that that was in comic books. And you could call in. It was a 1-900 number. And you would take part in an X-Men battle.

And you'd have to, like, pick moves by pressing buttons on the phone. Wow. Yeah. It was like a choose-your-own-adventure, basically. What a crazy... How entertainment-starved does that seem compared to just the vastness of an Xbox and the internet? Oh, totally. Like, oh, yeah, I just spent $85 doing this Choose Your Own Adventure phone thing.

Yeah, yeah. And I didn't even win. Yeah. It was all predetermined. Do you think that there was, like, a parent company that owned 1-900 numbers that were, like, Choose Your Own Adventure X-Men phone lines and then also crazy sex party lines. Yep. Choose your own sex venture. And then they get the lines get crossed and some guy's like

boop boop. I'm Wolverine. Get me out of here. That's awesome. Get me out of here, bub. Colossus is delivering a pizza to your front door. Did you call it? No, I mean, no, my parents would have lost their minds. Was there, yeah, wow, what a horrible generation to grow up in. Yeah.

What a horrible generation to grow up in. Yeah. I think the modern day equivalent is you hear all those stories about kids that spend like $100 on an iPhone game because their parents' credit card is tied to the account. They're just like, yeah, I'll buy 100 fish for $100. That's the new version of it. Yeah. Don't they know you're supposed to get people to buy stuff for you on Facebook? Yeah. Yeah.

Or, you know, if a nice stranger meets you online and offers to buy you as many... Whatever you're into. Yeah, exactly. Asking for nothing in return at first. Oh, man. So an average day... You say you play video games sometimes. I know you were like a big World of Warcraft guy for years.

Oh, my God. I was a big World of Warcraft guy for like six years. But like a big part of your life, right? Yeah. I was in. Okay. You're going to laugh when I say this. I like to laugh.

I was in a guild. There you go. Which everyone's in a guild. There you go. Everyone's in a guild in World of Warcraft. I was in a guild with one of the lead programmers for World of Warcraft because my friend Scott works for Blizzard, which is the company that makes the game.

We were in a guild that was like... Cool treat from Derek. Yeah. We were in a guild with a bunch... Cool treat from Derek. Yeah. We were in a guild with a bunch of Blizzard employees. So people that work for the company. Wow. So were they sick of the game? Or were they super into it?

They were really into it and they were all very good at it. And they were doing it on their free time? Yeah. Actually, if you work at Blizzard, you can take breaks and play video games on your lunch hour. That's fine. But that would be like if you worked in an office and they're like, hey, you can make copies

on your lunch break. Do they not get sick of that? Or is that their social life as well? Yeah, it's a way to stay social with people that you know that, I don't know, don't live that close. Because it's like, because I've never done it before. I've never played like a video game with like the headset and like talk to people.

You are missing out. I've done it a couple of times. But like I'm so bad at video games. Yeah. Oh, I'm horrendous. Against people. I'm great when no one's looking. Yeah, yeah.

I'm more casual too. I don't like really competitive games. But do people, when they play, just have conversations about anything? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Really? It's not like... There are certain servers that are role-playing servers, and that's where you have to pretend that you are your character. Have to.

Well, it's recommended. Get to. So you don't... You were hardcore for like six years. Was there like a moment when you stopped? Like was there a tipping point when you reached your 10,000 hours? Oh, God. I don't think it's 10,000 hours, but like it's not that far off, which is horrifying.

And I'm like, oh oh like modern day kyle that's why i'm unemployed is because i didn't spend any time doing like job training in my 20s sure you did you were in a guild yeah don't they have benefits i was the lead blacksmith so maybe i can do that in real life dental does that transfer over oh man that would be great to see if you were good at blacksmithing in real life like they're like you know here make know, make us something, make us a horseshoe. Then you burn the whole place down. I'm more into like the labor side of it. Like, as a guild, like, do you vote on union issues?

Oh yeah, is there like a thing where you go over to like some dude's hut and like all the characters just sit around and vote? And they're like, well, that's 285 for and 272 against yeah i'm interested in like the day-to-day minutiae of these world of warcraft characters yeah does it does okay these characters when you're not like you know in the sims like, if you leave, they can still keep, like, going, right? Is it not like that in the world? You just freeze. No, your character just disappears when you log out of the game. Right.

And then when you log back in, you're in the exact same spot. Okay. All right. See, these are things. I do not know this world. I do not have, I have not logged even one hour. But you can know this world. Yeah.

We can all know it from the comfort of our own home. So, like, these people that you were talking to, like, are they some people that you've never met in real life? Yeah, like. Why would you? I don't know. Like, wouldn't it be weird if then you did and you're like, ah. You look just like your. Yeah, like you're not a giant.

Wouldn't it be weird if then you did and you're like, ah, you look just like your guy. Yeah, like you're not a giant. I actually did meet a bunch of the guys that I played World of Warcraft with because they do a convention every year called BlizzCon. And one year I went down. Where was it? It's in Anaheim. It's ice cream with toppings mixed together. Delicious. Yeah, it's both.

It's all things. Oh, boy. I'd go to that con. They would be revealing, like, new topics. Oh, my God. Like, what? Fuzzy peaches. Here's what I want from BlizzCon.

We'll get to you in a bit. I want it to be, you can have blizzards, Dairy Queen blizzards, every meal, but they do, like, breakfast blizzards with, like, eggs benedict. Oh, my God. But can they still flip it upside down? Yeah, yeah. The ice cream is like hollandaise. Oh, that's a lot of hollandaise.

Hollandaise ice cream. And then the, yeah, or maybe a waffle. Maybe you're going to go sweet for your breakfast. Sure. And then like for lunch, you got to go savory. You got to go ribs. Yeah, you got to get a roast beef blizzard a dip a beef dip uh yeah like you dip into another blizzard the oju blizzard yeah um what so blizz blizzcon yeah uh was in Anaheim, California. Yeah, I think I went like three years ago.

And what was that like? It was crazy, man. It was super packed. Like there was just thousands and thousands of people. So many girls, right? There actually are girls that play video games. Yeah, yeah. Absolutely. Because Blizzard doesn't just do World of Warcraft. They also do Starcraft and they do Diablo.

And amongst us some other things. Yeah. Impressed him. So that was good. Those are girl games. Do people dress up in costumes? Was Mr. T there? Oh, that's right.

I didn't see Mr. T there. I saw Jack Black there because Tenacious D performed the year I was there. Wow. And there are people that dress up and then there's people that were paid to dress up. Oh, yeah. Booth face. Yeah, like models and stuff were walking around in cosplay and they're airbrushed and they're different colors and stuff. Right.

And then there's the not that, which is... Yeah, yeah. Because there's a costume contest for everyone who made their own costume. Right. And then there's the not that. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Because there's a costume contest for everyone who made their own costume. Right. And it's always hosted by Jay Moore. Jay Moore? Really? Yeah. From Saturday Night Live? Is he Bill Maher's kid? Yeah. Bill Moyers?

They change it. The one from Jerry Maguire. It loses a vowel in every generation. they change it the one from Jerry Maguire it loses a vowel in yeah every generation yeah why is Jay Morris he

how is he associated with World of Warcraft he's just a big fan I think they just someone who worked at the company liked his comedy and so they

they booked him to host the first one and then he just they wanted to hire Christopher Walken yeah yeah that's probably what it was

I think he does the Walken impersonation yeah yeah yeah absolutely he was one of the first yeah if not thein yeah yeah that's probably what it was i think he does the walk-in impersonation he was one of the first yeah if not the first yeah yeah i want to say that he was the first i don't know kevin pollock might uh oh might fight you on that yeah well it's you know blizzcon it's whoever blizzcon hires um here's a question would you rather be well i mean it's not or would you rather it's what do you think, it's not would you rather. What do you think about the idea? Like, say you're a really good looking person.

I'm not. So we're dealing with hypotheticals. Man or woman. And you're a model. What do you think of that job where you get paid to stand around at a booth all day in this costume? You know, you're airbrushed like it's you are technically a model yeah but you are not uh uh you know you're not the elite and you're doing this kind of thing that's kind of you know it's kind of yeah it's the bottom of the barrel yeah i mean is it the bottom of the barrel i don't think it's the bottom of the barrel because i think like if you're

somebody who gets hired to do like a you know like a work at a hooters or a bikini car wash okay that to me like that's like i mean you are a waitress yeah so bikini car wash you're a car washer still uh foxy boxing you're a boxer but all of those positions are slash model yeah yeah um oh okay like you know the when you go to is the is booth babe or bro below or above like sears catalog model below i'm gonna say it's below sears catalog model but above the model that's like for uh you know like a screwdriver set that a guy like a mechanic would have you know a lady like oh like you know in a bikini sure yeah yeah like calendar yeah like they you know um craftman will like put out like well not but not that good of a company like a lesser company do you know what i mean like rusty tools yeah and it'll do you know what i'm talking about it'll be like a bikini calendar and ladies

posing with like power drills or like sitting on a car or whatever their product equipment or yeah yeah i think that too is whatever they're trying to sell i think they're like girl in a camel with like an ak-47 so like like yeah i think it's the ladies that are ladies and fellas because it well but the only dude calendars are i guess there's like those like romance novel what about romance novel cover oh that's that is like the peak oh that's the top for men oh yeah for men absolutely i was in chapters today and i went over to where the graphic novels are, and like two shelves down is the erotica. And that's where all those trashy novels are.

I felt so ashamed. I couldn't hang out in that aisle. Because the models, there's only like five male models who are like, who model. There's Tyrese. Yeah. You're thinking of Tyson Beckford. Yep. And then there's Tyrese. You're thinking of Tyson Beckford. And then there's Tyrese.

But then the rest are just good-looking celebrities. Yeah, well, isn't there like, who's that guy that is also a designer or something, but he models in all of his ads? He has a SpongeBob tattoo. Oh, Marc Jacobs. Marc Jacobs. Who's that guy? isn't he a model um self-proclaimed i don't know man do you guys not know i know i mean i know who he is i don't know i think he i don't think he models though yeah i saw him in a thing and that's how i know he has a spongebob tattoo because it's not on his face um he's also got the M&Ms. Oh, really? Like the cartoon M&Ms, yeah.

Did this guy know that he was going to be taking his shirt off ever? No, he didn't. Well, no, he was like a dumpy dude. Oh, sweet. Who- He was the centerfold for dumpy dudes, man. And he was a fashion designer. And then like five or six years ago, he suddenly lost a bunch of weight and got in

really good shape and got the worst tattoos wow and then but yeah then i saw him in a maybe it was just an ad campaign where it's like you know i'm also a user or whatever you know like i'm not just the hair club president i also remember. Who was that? Cy Sperling? Yeah. Yeah, Cy Sperling. That was... Does he have a con? Is there a... What other cons are there? You've been to other cons.

No, actually, I haven't. I thought somebody... Ivan goes to PAX every year. Ah, that's the one. Penny Arcade Expo. Which is awesome. And that's what? Video games?

Yeah, a lot of video game stuff. And there's a lot more, I think, dressing up at that one. Yeah. Didn't you just go to a comic book thing this weekend? Yeah, but that was like an indie. An expo? Yeah, that was like an indie. What was your costume?

I was Kyle Bottom. I didn't show up until past 10. Yeah, it was just That was like indie comic books It was all like comic nerds You know The cast of Ghost World Walking around Sure, sure

So not no Yeah, which is too bad Because I've never been to a comic book convention With like the costumes and stuff. Yeah. I find it very appealing. And like panels. Yeah, panels less so. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Did you see any good panels when you were at BlizzCon? Uh, I saw a pretty famous panel, which was, there was a bunch of the World of Warcraft developers. And they were on stage, and they took audience questions, and they put the people

on camera, and this guy got up in a red shirt, and he started asking a question. And I guess, and he started to talk really weird over the course of his question asking, because he could hear his own voice, and it weirded him out. It turned out after the fact that he had, like, Asperger's. And that's why it like threw him off so bad but uh yeah apparently why is that a

famous panel is there a youtube clip of it well it probably is on youtube and they created a character in the game to be uh representative of that guy in the red shirt what yeah that must have been a thrill of a lifetime yeah because he because he called bullshit on, like, the problem with a game like Warcraft is that there's all this lore and mythology that goes into it. For instance? Oh, well, I don't know. Like, it's just you have to know the storylines of Warcraft. Like, Arthas killed his father, became the Lich King, right? Like, that's common knowledge.

Sure, absolutely. I learned that in grade six. Yeah. Yeah. He went to Northrend where he was corrupted by the Lich Kel'thuzad, right? We all... What is that? Is that how you pronounce it?

I've always... I've never heard it out loud. Yeah. Kel'thuzad is how I pronounce it. I thought it was Shasafa food. What was... Did you have one character that you played the whole time you were in that game? No, I had three characters that I played. Multiple personalities.

Yeah, yeah. You can tell a lot about a person. By how many World of Warcraft characters they have. If they just have the one, it's like, that's husband material. Yeah, yeah. That's loyalty. Yeah, absolutely. Because you know I got a female character on the side. just have the one it's like that's husband material yeah yeah that's loyalty yeah absolutely because you know i got a female character on the side um but like could you i assume that this is

in the same like kind of thing like you could be like you were saying like a blacksmith or a carpenter or a or no where you yeah you could be all these different things but you're also like a like a like a warrior based class you couldn't just be a blacksmith no like everyone gets drafted you can't dodge the draft yeah you can choose to have no profession you can't craft draft good luck making gold like because that's all i would do that's how much i suck at video games i'd be like what's something where i could just kind of like tend a desk you just want second life like i want to be graham tend a desk. You just want second life. I want to be Graham, but with angel wings.

Yeah, I want second life, but I want like ogres and I want all this stuff going on around. I want to be able to gossip about it with an ogre when it comes in like, whoa, the war's really heating up in there. I don't think we should have gone into Northland. Yeah, exactly. I don't believe that Shazab has had weapons of mass destruction.

But here's your mail. You know, like I'm a mail clerk. Mission accomplished. And I just check in for like eight hours every day and just do that. And you don't really know what you're talking about? You don't really read the Warcraft news? No, yeah. I just read the headlines and try and like...

Well, you know what they say. If you don't go out and vote in the world of Warcraft elections, you can't complain. Oh, lordy. Anyways. Anyway, have a good weekend. Yeah. Good night, everybody. I think most listeners stopped listening

14 minutes ago no no no I think this is because this is a whole world that I know absolutely nothing about and it's

but it's like it's a bigger industry than film oh for sure right so it's like getting bigger and bigger

and bigger so it has like just like completely I would just get so intimidated if I went on one of those things. And some kid was like, who was your first roommate in world of warcraft? Yeah. We shared a hut,

a one room hut. He had the cot. I had the floor. Every time that it's time to do your dishes, you just log out. Your character disappears. Hey, where did he go?

That's great. Um, what's the, what's the rent in gold on this place you're gonna need a damage deposit because everything gets destroyed so uh dave what's going on with you um nothing as exciting as kyle. But there is something in my neighborhood that's been bothering me. A few days ago, I noticed this for the first time, and it's about half a block away from where I live. While walking the dog, suddenly Abby and I, we saw, we thought we saw a person, but it's not a person. And what this house has done is they have in their garden, they've put a mannequin. A woman mannequin.

Yeah. I'm changing my tone to hmm. And it's right at the very front, like right on the sidewalk, like less than a foot from the sidewalk. Not really in the yard, more like outside the yard. Okay. And they've wrapped it in chicken wire. And inside the chicken wire is a bunch of soil. Like some parts have soil.

Some parts have moss. Okay. And I think what their goal ultimately is is to have like flowers blooming out of this person. But it is the height of a human being.

Yeah. And every time we walk past it's got a little soil hat on. Yeah. Yeah. This all makes sense.

But every time we see it it freaks us out because we never expected it. Yeah. No. So it's wearing kind of i think it's wearing kind of an outfit from the 50s but made of dirt yeah and abby thinks it's more of like an egyptian like nefertiti thing and there's like pockets where like uh it's got pockets well not uh there's portions of it where like the the uh dirt comes out a little further so you can you can see that like you know flowers will grow out of its butt

huh so is it supposed to be like they're creating kind of like one of those hedges that's shaped like a person like uh you know like you would see in a in a an Edward Scissorhands? Maybe. I'm kind of having trouble picturing what it is. It's like a chia pet. Yeah. It's like a human person. But like a mannequin from a department store?

But a department store mannequin, yeah. Weird. What came first, the idea or the mannequin? Definitely the mannequin. Definitely the mannequin. What are we going to do with this mannequin? It can't just stare at me all day. It knows too much.

We already threw one of those Home Alone style parties. We've got another six months until we need to do that again. Yeah, we already put it on a turntable and made it spin around. Yeah, to full Joe Pesci. Well, that only works once. Yeah, that's true. What else? Okay, what else do you do with a mannequin?

Oh, boy. Somebody's given you a mannequin? Oh, boy. Somebody's given you a mannequin. You can't throw it out. Let's just say in this world of Warcraft. In this economy, it's haunted. Yeah, you can't throw it out. You throw it out, it'll be back the next morning. Two of them will be back.

The next time you log in. Yeah. You throw one away, you get two back. Oh, it's like a hydra. Yeah, yeah. Cut off one neck, get two more thrown out. So you can't get rid of it by conventional means. What do you do with it?

What do you do with the mannequin? Do you have to keep it in one piece? Nope. Nope. This is your mannequin, too. But if you saw into it, you might find out that it was alive. Like organs might be inside. If you saw into it?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, I don't know. I thought you were going to saw it into pieces. No, I'm going to drown it in the back over and over and over um that's your workout yeah like what happens to old mannequins do they just burn them or uh like what are they made out of plastic wood or plastic or I guess the old old ones would be made out of wood or some sort of there's like metal-y ones

I guess. Yeah. But I don't know what do they do with old mannequins? Oh you could here's a plan. What if you found

a dump that was just old mannequins? I think a good plan would be plan out tomorrow's outfits on it. That's fun. Yeah. That's a good idea. So every morning you have to und's outfits on it that's fun yeah that's a good idea so every morning you have to undress a mannequin that's wearing all your clothes yeah yeah that's part

of it it's organized what if you realize it looks just like that looks better on you you just keep that outfit on i'm gonna try on something else another thing i would probably do if i had a mannequin in my house is answer questions that it asked me like whenever people were over i would i would say stuff like oh nothing what are you doing um yeah it's so so is it coming along well this hedge no it's just a couple days old so nothing she's really starting to bluff. Yeah. There's a lot of assumptions we're making that stuff will eventually grow out of

what we are calling its clothing. Right. Oh, maybe, oh, so the mannequin's going to be wearing, like, a flower outfit? Here's hoping. Speculation. Yeah. Right. But there's no seeds in the mannequin's head. Well, there might be.

Oh, gross. Oh, it'd be cool if it had like a big mossy beard. Yeah. I mean. This is really going to drive down the home values. Yeah, exactly. That's what it's all about. Yeah.

This weird mannequin art. Oh, boy. Yeah. Yeah. Well, what are you gonna do right and i don't think like it's weird because the people who live in the house can't get any enjoyment of it because it's it's like they can't see it from inside the house the only people who can see it are people walking by who are freaked out yeah what if the people in the house don't even know it's why no one's lived here for 20 years the last woman who lived here always wore a flowery

dress and the mannequin's in a new position every day uh yeah because like um uh yeah i don't know i remember like i lived across from somebody that uh kept uh like burying barrels in his front yard and uh like yeah he was real eccentric he was i think i talked about him on the podcast he was the landlord that owned the place i was living in and at one point like a possum fell in his rain barrel and he ate it did i tell you this story was this the last place you lived in no a couple places ago but he owned the place across the alley from where we lived. And he kept having barrels delivered. Like, old oil barrels.

Yeah. And then he buried them in his front yard. Huh. Yeah, so we don't know if it was like... Because he also owned a farm, so we don't know if it was like... I don't know. I don't know what the fuck he was burying. But it was like...

It was crazy to live in the same neighborhood as a guy. But it's like's not illegal. I mean, maybe it was. Depends on what he's burying. But then he poisoned his hedge and it turned all crazy, ghost white. And it was super disturbing to look at. But you can't... How did he poison his hedge?

By digging barrels around it? Probably something in that barrel leaked out into a ghost yeah um but like you know it's like that thing like you can't you can't do anything about it right like if it just all of a sudden if that neighbor's like that mannequin's really working out i'm gonna get more mannequins yeah i'm gonna make a fence of mannequins yeah can you do anything about that no except protest good luck good luck getting close enough against that army of mannequins yeah oh boy no no there's nothing like yeah there's nothing you can do it's just i think it's just poor taste um and i'll never i will never like go up to the neighbor and say hey uh why don't you cut that out yeah uh that's probably a good policy yeah or like i'll never talk to them at all ever

so it'll just be it'll just be me versus the mannequin. And it scared you every time. Do you think maybe it's also doing the trick like scaring off crows and stuff? Maybe. Because it's terrifying. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow. Oh, man.

Yeah. I'm with you, man. Yeah. Down with mannequins. Crows are smart. Yeah. And they know what clothes look like. Yeah. And dirt does not look and they know what clothes look like. Yeah. And dirt does not look like clothes.

Well, not yet. Tell that to the guy I was on the bus with today, am I right? Yeah. So, Graham, what's up with you? Well, I saw, here's the thing, speaking of all things horticultural, I was at a diner and I was watching a city crew vehicle being parked. And they were like putting, I guess they were putting out like wood chips next to a tree or something. I don't know why. To soak up barf.

Yeah. Or to show off. Like, don't you get out of control, tree. This is what will happen to you. Yeah. We wanted you to be surrounded by your friends psych but um this crew was i don't think they were they were the most unlikely crew okay because usually your city workers you see are they too live uh yeah yeah were they so solid um they were you know i expect like uh um usually it's like very man-centric these city worker trucks yeah uh you don't see a lot of

fellow centric yep and uh this was two two ladies and a fella and the fella, I'm not sure how he factored into their team dynamic. Yeah. But there was one lady who was the most beautiful city worker anybody's ever seen. Oh, really? Just a knockout. Mm-hmm. And, like, I mean, nearly saw two trucks rear-end each other, like, looking at her, like, shoveling the wood chips. Like, just a knockout.

Onto herself. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dumb as a post. She knew what she was doing. I was thinking, yeah, seductive. So there's her, and then the guy, who either has the best, like, he got promoted to the best job or demoted depending because then the other person was a like pregnant lady who was like eight and a half months pregnant okay so this was either like light duty where it's like you're with

pregnant crew like you can only lift wood chips because of your uh hernia or whatever yeah or like you're on pretty lady duty yeah like you've made it all the way to the top so just enjoy your last one lady to get you in the mood and the other one you can't get pregnant i'm sorry i can't follow your logic. Is that wrong? So, yeah. So, anyways, I've just never seen – I've never seen a city crew so diverse. And so, like, everybody – you could tell that everybody was checking it out. Like, this is – like, I've never seen a pregnant lady doing manual labor before.

Yeah, that's true. Right? And it feels like at every time that she did i was like ah like somebody should get in there and help her but like she knows what she's doing right lord knows yeah wait no that's not how i talk um i don't know i mean you assume well like pregnant women don't know. I mean, you assume. Well, like, pregnant women don't know everything. Yeah, but they know their bodies themselves, right? Not necessarily. Yeah, well, that's what I was really worried about.

I was like, I don't know. Should a pregnant lady be shoveling stuff? What do you think, Kyle? Weigh in. Have a take. Pregnant ladies make me nervous. I don't even think they should be out in public after, like, six months. Controversial. They should all be on bed rest

on bed rest well that's extreme cause I'm klutzy and every time I see a pregnant lady near me I'm just like eww no no I'm gonna spill my lunch on you maybe you should be on bed rest oh believe me I have been

how klutzy. What are you worried you're going to do? Like, oh no, a cigarette fell in your mouth. I'm always afraid I'm going to fall over in front of them. That's not going to cause any birth defects. It may make the baby laugh. Baby's first laugh. It was just gas yeah so anyways it was really it was just like a lot of sensations watching a pregnant lady do

manual labor and then this beautiful lady also doing manual labor and then this dude he was really not doing a lot he was sitting in the backseat and he was just kind of, he was working, but kind of not as hard as the ladies. Yeah. I bet they had like, if it was dark and you could only see their silhouette, I bet it was a really weird silhouette. But yeah, like, I don't know, city crews, you don't notice them unless they're like a real...

Yeah. Take some time out and say uh thanks to your local city crew yeah especially if one is like almost gonna drop right you know like hey thanks for still i don't know doing whatever the fuck they were doing wood chip duty i mean i don't know what i guess i assume like maybe you get a certain amount of maternity leave and so you don't want to use it until you absolutely have to. I guess. So you'll work up until then. But like at a desk job, right?

I mean, because Kyle Bottom could just walk around falling from you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I am a hazard. But, you know, I guess these wood chips need to be put down. Yeah. You know. Or what, right? I don't know. I guess these wood chips need to be put down. Yeah. You know. Or what, right? I don't know.

I don't know how that works. I don't know how it works either. I didn't, I kind of just. My only real experience with wood chips is, you know, falling off the monkey bars and getting them all in my hands. Oh, yeah. I didn't have wood chip playground. I had gravel. I think we had dirt.

Dirt. We had trash. We had trash. Yeah. Oh, the broken bottles. That's where. Hypodermic needles. You know, when you recycle your glass bottles, they went right to my playground.

Yeah. Yeah. So that was really, that was, to me, that was the highlight of the week, was seeing this, like, Avengers Assemble style city crew. Like, really got the job done, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, it was a light week for all of us. Not for Kyle, he's a blacksmith. We got 15 minutes out of it.

That was years ago. I haven't played WoW. Well, okay, I would say I haven't played WoW in two years but I had a relapse in January and I played for like a month like straight? yeah

what? yeah Kyle? my friends and family just let it happen and I told them all I was like I'm gonna play WoW again

they're like alright had there been an intervention? no but there should have been no so but your friends and family has there ever been an intervention?

for someone who played too many video games? Yeah, or like specifically World of Warcraft? Did they talk about that at BlizzCon? No. What to do if someone tries to intervention you? Kind of like how they don't talk about 12-step programs at Oktoberfest. Oh, right. How to wiggle out of an intervention.

Well, if you were like sent, because you know intervention, they always send them to a recovery clinic. Like, would there be somebody who, like, injected heroin in between their toes and then, like, a guy who just really liked Warcraft? Like, would they be in the same room? At the same intervention. I don't know. I haven't watched intervention, but I have seen a lot of Maury. So would they consider sending you to boot camp? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's a second time. Yeah, scared straight program. Or giving you a makeover. Yeah, so anyways, you guys want to move on to Overheard? Yeah. Overheard. You guys. Overheard. You guys. Overheard.

A segment in which if you're walking down the street and you feel into the beat and you... The thing about Overheard, shut up first, of all of you. Okay, okay, yeah. About them is that they're walking... Like, they sort of are part of our national plan of fitness because they force us to walk down the street and also our national plan of community because you get to listen and into people now dave okay because uh this week unlike some weeks there is actually a piece of hulk hogan news it's a hulk hogan news it's a hulk hogan news now um we should note that that we are recording this before it is being released.

That's right. And therefore, it's no longer news. It's no longer news? It is no longer news. But it is, the thing that's amazing is that despite the fact that there's, I think, a lot of great coverage of Hulk Hogan news, there's still people that didn't even know he had a sex tape that were at the uh last bring a ding dong dandy show uh there was there was two people in the audience i was like what how do you not know this this is the biggest story of the year once a month we get an email from someone of that picture of hulk hogan djing

yeah where he's wearing the big uh straw hat yeah yeah hey have you guys seen this i can never see it enough um and so you know because you keep up on hulk hogan news and i'm sure you know that um this week uh hulk hogan uh very badly burnt his hand on a uh when a radiator exploded yeah did you not know this no No. See, this is why. I only saw the headline, but I was waiting for this. This is why I cover this. He very, like, very, very badly burnt his hand. And I know how badly, because he posted photos of it on Twitter. Yeah, but his skin looked all weird and discolored.

Oh, wait, it already is. He had to have somebody else put their hand next to his to show like He had to put his own hand next to it like this is what my normal hand looks like. So yeah, he like

took a bunch of photos both after it happened and when he was in the emergency room getting surgery done on it. Wow. And after almost a full day of posting these things, he posted an apology saying like, oh, hey, sorry, probably pretty gross. That was probably gross.

Yeah, sorry for that. So he's recovering, but he also acknowledges – What kind of radiator? Not like a car radiator. I'm assuming a car radiator. Oh, so he was working on his... What does he drive? A muscle car.

Yeah. Does he do his... And he soups it up himself? Yeah. With soup? No, he lifts it up. He doesn't use a car jack. Oh, okay.

That's part of his workout routine. He balances it on his chest and then works, changes the oil, catches it with his mouth. But first he has to leg drop the hood to get it to bounce off. Yeah, absolutely. And then he scoots under. And the thing about – I don't think he has a – why would he have a radiator? Like he lives in Florida, right? Like they wouldn't have an old house with a radiator in it.

I don't even know what a radiator is in a car or a house. I think if a radiator exploded in a house, that would be the end of the house, right? Like that would like blow up the entire house. Is a radiator like a furnace? It's like a thing that water, hot water passes through basically. Yeah. And then that heats the room. So instead of like air vents in a furnace, it's steam.

Yeah. And it's like, you know, if it blew up, like, it would also be Hulk Hogan's face. Right. And Hulk Hogan packs. Right, right, right, right. It would be, you know. So he was cranking his radiator in his car. Yeah, he was cranking it.

Which is in the front? Yeah, it's not. It's, like, not in the car. It's in the engine, right? Yeah, it's in the engine. But it's not in the not it's like not in the car it's in the engine right yeah it's in the engine but it's not it's not in the trunk it's one of the magic pieces well yeah i can't it's not gonna happen to me while i'm driving like oh no the radiator burned my hand no no you would lift the hood and the radiator would be overheating and there'd be steam and uh it's what you see they do this a lot in movies where uh you know guys like in the desert and the thing's all steaming and then he opens it up and uh takes the cap off the radiator which

would automatically burn your hand and also the steam release would burn your face off but in the movies they just go like ah hot hot radiator yeah and then they put put a bottle of water in it, and that usually gets them where they're going. Right, but in real life, what you would put in is... Coolant. Oh, okay. A coolant. Body butter. Yeah, yeah.

If you can't find water or coolant, then a body butter or a sex wax. Yeah, sure. Yeah, any kind of fluid. Coconut oil. Yeah. Aloe vera juice. Brewskis. Yeah, any kind of fluid. Coconut oil. Yeah. Aloe vera juice. Brewskis. Yeah, kombucha.

Brewskis. Any liquid will do. Okay. Yeah. So that's probably what happened. He was driving down a desert highway. He pulled the old, he was with a young lady, and he said, oh, my radiator's not working. Yeah.

In an effort to pull over to the side of the road to get some necking in yeah in the noon day sun yeah radiators can go at any time that's true in the middle of the night uh oh my radiator let me just check and then oh to his surprise his radiator actually yeah and it exploded you say well that's that's what he said what kind of car is this um It's a Model T. So it's all just a giant radiator on the front. He also blistered his hands cranking it to life. Sure.

Yeah, sure. It doesn't have as many safety precautions as a modern day engine would. Yeah, yeah. As an Etzel. Yeah. You know that I was talking to somebody that didn't know that Mustang was a kind of horse. They only thought it was a type of car. Did you know?

That's crazy, right? Yeah. Did that exist? I mean, I guess. But, like, at the same time, like, why would you know what a Mustang is? Yeah, like, could you identify a Mustang if I give you ten horses? What am I going to do with these ten horses? Oh, man, this is like my mannequin problem all over i could point out two horses that weren't mustangs yeah yeah i could point out the

ones that were the budweiser ones with the the hairy feet and one one of them is my little pony so that's out yeah and then what other horses of note are there um pegasus yeah unicorn zebra top 10 horses philly yeah there's a philly yeah absolutely i think a cult right sure yeah not a kind of horse and a gun uh-huh and a beer And a beer. Oh, yeah. A malt liquor. Ooh, yum. Isn't Philly like what you call a female horse? Oh, yeah, a female.

A colt might just be a male horse. Yeah, I don't know what a male horse is called. Oh, man. A buckaroo? Oh, yeah, a buckaroo. That's right. A buckaroo. Yeah.

Oh, silver, right? I hope silver. Sure. And a horse that's actually made of silver. Oh, the horse with no name from that song by... Yeah. I was going to say Toto. No, yeah, right. America. and a horse that's actually made of silver oh the horse with no name from that song by America and finally rounding out our list of top 10 horses Mr. Ed

right that's just a regular horse with peanut butter in his lips we counted zebra that's a more noble horse than Mr. Ed probably the most noble horse Mr. Ed sold out so

there you go Hulk Hogan News top 10 horses accounted for a very eventful Hulk Hogan News and radiator talk we did it all so now on to overheards and Kyle you've been on the show twice before.

Yes, I have. You know how we like to roll. We like to have the guests start us out. I really wanted to bring in an overheard. Oh, no. No, I did bring one in, but it's not mine. I asked a friend for an overheard. Okay, that's fine.

I try not to leave the house when possible. Right. And I don't have good hearing, so I don't pick up much stuff. But a friend of mine works with kids, and she said that recently she heard a kid say to another kid, Hey, your butt makes no sense. Which is awesome yeah because it's both uh depending on context it's a compliment or an insult yeah yeah and it's so true and yet so untrue you're like oh your butt's so great it makes no sense yeah yeah yeah and yet it makes the most sense in the world yeah exactly like

everything about it is it. It's beautiful. It's a real filly. It's a real filly of a butt you got there. What would you be? I mean, if you wanted to compliment somebody on their butt, which you would never do. Yeah. But if you wanted to, what would you say? My, that's round.

Right? That's not good. There's no good way to say it. I mean, it's unreal. Yeah. Don't you say like, are you wearing space pants? Yeah. It looks like your dad shoved you in. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Are you tired? Because your dad's a criminal. Vis-a-vis your butt. vis-a-vis your butt your dad has stashed his illegal earnings somewhere in your butt we're having fun because what did you say space pants and then he stored two hams?

The setup for one, horrible pickup, and the finisher for another. Good work, guys. Dave, do you have an overheard? Yeah. Mine is from a while ago actually I've been saving this in case anything better came along

and finally its day of reckoning has come How big is a can of Coke? 355 milliliters I would say, yes Because this is from when I was traveling to Uh, 355 milliliters, I would say. Yes. Um, because this is from when I was traveling to, uh, uh, traveling back from Sweden and I was in the, uh, um, uh, security line and there were some North Americans.

I don't know whether they were Canadian or American, but they weren't British. Uh, uh, and I was in And I was in London at this point. And they had sort of like a display of the stuff that you couldn't bring in through security, the liquids. So there was like a water bottle and there was like a thing of hand lotion. And there was a can of Coke, which is, I think it's 330 milliliters. And one of the people says, points to the can of Coke and says, oh, and the limit, by the way, is 100 milliliters. Right. It's something in ounces.

So the person points to this can of Coke and says, wait, this isn't over 100 milliliters, is it? And the guy says, yeah, it's like 330. And she says, well, it does look a little thicker than the ones back home. Yeah. What if you just came from a world where you only had those like airline cups? Did that have enough setup? Yeah, I think so. I think, wait, there was a whole display of the things?

There's a crazy display, I think in the Calgary airport of like all the illegal animal products that you're not allowed to have. Oh, yeah? But like crazy stuff like boots made out of a tortoise shell and stuff like that

out of a turkey's face. You can't bring them through security or you can't bring them over the border? You can't bring them anywhere. They're illegal. I don't even know how they got them for this display. But can you wear them? No, no, no. The display is dedicated to like these are products that only poachers sell or whatever.

So it's like rhino penis and all, you know, all that kind of like. Yeah. You know, and like crazy, you know. Tiger gallbladder. Yeah, ostrich hat. I just like to think that it was a rhino horn, but you thought it was rhino penis. Oh, man, look at that.

What am I looking at here? But like, here's what I'm confused about. If these boots, well, they're made for walking. Yeah. They were originally made for Slytherin. If these boots are illegal, but they were poached many years ago, do you have to throw them away now? Or can you not wear them to the airport? Can they be like grandfathered in?

Yeah. My grandfather was a poacher. His grandfather before him? I don't know, because like... I got a bit of poacher in me. Yeah, absolutely. I think we've all done some poaching, right? Yeah.

In our early years after university. I tried with an egg, but it just ended up all cloudy. That's hard to do. I don't know. Like, I don't know if it's a classic, like, if you're like, nah, this animal would have died of old age. You're good to go. Or like if it's something that's extinct. So like, oh, you've got dodo boots.

Well, first of all, you've got a new nickname. Hey there, Dodo boots. But also it's clear that you're not going to poach any more Dodos. That's true. Yeah, I don't know. It's a real weird display because it's a lot of stuff that I was like, hmm, I didn't know that was a product. And now I want it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now that I know that there's, you know uh some sort of like tiger shampoo don't tease me yeah exactly right it's just a shampoo you use on the tiger oh it's not made for tiger man and tail yeah it's discouraged though that you shampoo a tiger um i have a i have an overheard. Oh, well, is it your turn? Yeah. Okay. Let's do you.

I went and saw Iron Man 3 today in the movie theater. And a lot of trailers before the Iron Man. Lots and lots of trailers. Lots and lots of ads for whatever before the trailers. Turn your cell phone off. Yeah. And also, like, here's the movie theater that you're at. And buy tickets in advance.

And, you know, the bank that owns the movie theater. You're richer than you think is their slogan. Right. And on and on and on. Are you richer than you think? No. I mean, unless there's some treasure in my backyard i don't know about those barrels uh um so you know like say almost between 15 and 20 minutes of ads wow um and then the movie starts. And before you see anything in the movie, the song Blue is from 1999.

By Leanne Rimes? No. Oh, by Eiffel 65? Yes. Eiffel 65, yeah. I got a blue house with a blue window. Blue is the color of all that I wear. So that plays.

And then over the studio icons and whatever and then you see kind of some exterior shots and it wasn't until Robert Downey jr. is on screen that the guy next to me goes but he had sat through like the whole all of the previews and the beginning of the movie. And then when he saw Robert Downey Jr., he was like, ah. That's so great. Why is Blue at the beginning of the movie? Because the first scene takes place in 1999.

So they're like, what was the greatest song of 1999? I just want to know what movie he thought he was at that hearing that song was not a key to figuring it out. That's what I was trying to figure out because there must have been another movie that started the exact – I think – Have you ever walked in the wrong theater? No. No, because they have little signs in the theater door that say, like, this is the movie. My mother once did that. I think I've told this story on the podcast before. My dad and I wanted to go see The Usual Suspects.

This was in 94 or whatever. Pre-Eiffel 65. Yeah. And my mother thought it would be too scary. So she went into – she wanted to go see How to Make an American Quilt. And they were starting around the same time. And so she went to see that, but then didn't realize that she was in the wrong theater until too late. And she was watching Seven.

Oh, God. And then she was like, oh, I missed the first bit of the movie I was going to see anyway. I'll just stay and watch this. Wow. I hope there better and watch this. Wow. I hope there better be a quilt in this. I think there is. They wrap it around the guy who has the metal thing strapped to his cock. The guy who's got the sin of comfort.

Of snuggliness. Yeah, so anyways, it was a lot of fun sitting next to that guy. Oh, damn it. God damn it. Robert Downey Jr. isn't in Place Beyond the Pines. Yeah, it's true. What movie did he... He wasn't that perceptive.

It was obviously a Marvel film, and all the ads before it were for Marvel movies. Well, Jay-Z did a weird remix of Blue in Gatsby with Lana Del Rey and Goon Rock so we also have overheards

and overseen sent to us from around the world and if you want to do that you can send them to spy at maximumfun.org. Also, call us doing your impression of either Eiffel 65's Blue

or Leanne Rimes' Blue because she does a cool thing with her voice in that song. What is Leanne Rimes? Is it the same? Oh, I can't do it. Then all the moose come running in. Yeah. It's banned from the zoo.

So. It was when she was like a pipsqueak. When was she ever a pipsqueak? When she was a little girl. Did she wear, did she sit in the bleachers? I think she wore a vest. Oh, okay. I'm thinking of Taylor Swift, not Leigh-Anne Rimes.

Sure. Same to him. This'm thinking of Taylor Swift, not Leigh-Anne Rimes. Sure. Same to him. This font is so big, I can't... Why is that so big? Turn it sideways. Yeah. That's even bigger. Oh, God.

Yeah. How the hell did that happen? Does anybody know how to make fonts smaller? Do you want me to call the geek squad? Okay. This will be the longest episode ever as we await the Geek Squad. And then they come over and they're like, did you turn off your phone and turn it back on again? No, where's the power switch?

And then they show you that. And then they leave, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then suddenly all the porn from your computer has been transferred to their files. I saw a thing once on TV about it. Yeah, but why? Like, is it because they're ashamed to look up their own porn? I don't know what it was.

It was like a hidden camera thing where the people called the Geek Squad, but they had put, like, a bikini lady picture. Or a picture labeled bikini lady or something dot jpeg and then the geek squad guy dragged it to his own flash drive that's the that's the worst modeling gig right there bikini yeah bikini lady jpeg i do models for JPEG files. Oh, I am never getting paid for this. Yeah, exactly. I mostly do modeling for stings, you know, like 2020 style. Gotcha stings. What would you do?

All right. This is from Tyson E. in Victoria, British Columbia. While stopped at a traffic light this morning, I noticed a teenage couple horsing around as they crossed the street in front of me. The teenage boy kept grabbing what I assumed was his girlfriend's butt. Without hesitation, she turned around, pantsed him, and kept walking across the street. Which is a, wow, like pretty great thing to see. That is awesome.

How can you not tell it was her butt? What I assumed was her butt. Oh, assumed was his girlfriend's butt. Oh, okay. Sorry. Yeah, I misread that. It turned out to be some hams that her father had stuffed down there

in his face. So, yeah. That's a good move. Girl power. Yeah. It's about time they reclaimed panting. Being pantsed. has anybody here been yeah uh totally back in my uh uh before i wore pants like grown-up pants like sweatpants or

sweatpants or shorts a lot of a lot of kids in uh high, I think, wear sweatpants, and it seems like that would be like a pantser's paradise. Oh, yeah. There's no resistance. Yeah, right? Like, even if you have the – I remember in gym class, like, tying the string around my waistband, like, super tight. Yeah. Because I remember gym class was, like, the place. This is where you go to snap bras and pants people.

I went to an all guys school. So this is not so much an overheard but written in as an over experienced. But I thought it was great because well it caught my eye because the email address is from Gold Dragon Wrestling.

So like, proceed. This is, the gentleman's name is J.S. McStrongarm. Johan Sebastian McStrongarm. And I am an independent professional wrestler living in the thriving metropolis of Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan. Oh, yeah. Really? You're independent? independent yeah there's not a you're not affiliated with wwe the the world wheat wrestling wwe um i've wrestled all over central and western canada uh i have been slammed splash suplex punched kicked and, kicked, and beaten,

but have, for the most part, never been worse for wear. But recently, I was sitting, talking to a friend, and I felt a tickle in my nose. I then proceeded to sneeze and felt a pop

and a very sharp, very intense pain in the left side of my chest. I later found out that I had cracked a rib during that sneeze. So, wow, right? Can you imagine after all of that? found out that I had cracked a rib during that sneeze. Wow. Right?

Can you imagine after all of that? He's his own nemesis. Yeah, exactly. Well, you know, a lot of the sneezing is fake in wrestling. Yeah, it's a lot of guys are dosing themselves with pepper. Yeah.

They get those restaurant pepper packets. Sorry, I keep touching your leg by accident. You don't have to apologize. Well, no, I like... I didn't. Anyways, yeah, so... That's crazy. Right?

I had a guy at my old job. I was poking him with my umbrella. I like where this is going. He turned around and gave me a bear hug, but from the side. Not like a bear a bear hug, but from the side. Not like a bear hug front on, like from my side. And I felt a pop in the side. Are bear hugs illegal?

From the side there. At the airport? Yeah. Yeah, I felt a pop on the right-hand side. And then my rib cage was just screwed for weeks. What? Yeah, I had trouble reaching for things. But you luckily still had that umbrella you were poking him with. for like weeks. Yeah, I couldn't like, I had trouble like reaching for things. And yeah.

But like you luckily still had that umbrella you were poking him with. So you could knock things down off the shelf. Did you ever get it checked out from a doctor? No, that's not really my style. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did you just go on World of Warcraft? Hey, has anybody else broken their ribs? Does anybody know?

No. Yeah. Okay. I just made a lot of bandages in World of Warcraft. What did you do? Did it just heal? Yeah, I just left it alone and I'm still here. Icraft. What did you do? Did it just heal? Yeah, I just left it alone and I'm still here. I think that's all you can do with a broken rib.

I don't think it was broken or I don't know what happened. Or cracked rib. Do they put you in a chest cast? That's another thing. Yeah, they put you in an iron lung. Isn't that what iron lungs are for? No. I don't know what they're for.

They make a cast of your chest and then turn it into, like, sexy modern art. Right? After you've healed. That's a good idea. Yeah. That's a thing. And then they cover you in dirt and they put you in someone's backyard. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Wait a minute. They scare you. They scare your neighbors. There are mannequins that are based on real people, right? Yeah. Elaine. No, Tyra Banks. wasn't tyra banks like

the the didn't they model an exact mannequin after i mean she's got a large forehead yeah no i'm saying it's a five head she invented the term yeah it's used to model uh toques? Toots and bands? Yeah. Eyebrow threading. This last one, last over scene, comes from Zach from Chicago. He was on the – he's from Chicago, but this was from the New York City Metro Rail or MTA. Oh. the New York City Metro Rail, or MTA, on a sign depicting a guy talking about what he liked about the transit system, someone had graffitied, I dislike the MTA. It is inconsistent.

That's some good graffiti. It's rational. Yeah, and it's in the right place, right? It's in a place promoting how great it is. It's like, yeah, you're really culture jamming. Did they also graffiti on a monocle. Have you guys seen the graffiti around Vancouver that is just the word Mohinder? Yes.

I had seen it because I think we talked about it. We were chatting about it before. But it's everywhere. And it's just the word Mohinder. I assume it's uh it's everywhere and it's just the word mohinder i think i assume it's a name um and it is uh completely without style it's not like a tag that is like oh that's hard to read it's block letters and uh you know i saw it on the dairy queen i saw it on the blockbuster i saw some people have been posting pictures of it online Because it's This is everywhere If you go to your apartment tonight

Take a look around And I wonder maybe if there are multiple Mohinders Because it's so simple Like anyone could be Mohinder It's a real Spartacus situation Maybe Mohinder is a friend Of the graffiti artist And Mohinder does not have a phone.

So he just goes around town. Hey, Mo Hinder. And then waits. I'm willing to bet that a film school student or students are making a documentary about this Mo Hinder graffiti as we speak. It seems like something film school students would really get into. Let's figure out who Mohinder is. And then when we don't, let's fail.

Good plan. We never did find out who Mohinder is. But we learned a lot about... Transit. I remember when I went to film school, But we learned a lot about transit. Yeah. I remember when I went to film school, our documentary teacher said,

if I see one goddamn shot of a plant coming out of a crack in a sidewalk, you are getting an automatic F. Wow. Because I guess that, you know, oh yeah, the city versus the nature. Nature finds a way, you know. Oh, yeah. The city versus the nature. Nature finds a way, you know.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Baraka. Yeah. Nature always finds a way. Yeah. Jurassic. Jurassic. In addition to overheards that are written in, we also accept overheards that are telephoned in.

Also, your renditions of Blue or Blue. Yeah, yeah. Either Blue will do. 206-339-8328. That's the number. Hi, Dave Graham and awesome guest. This is Casey from Charlottesville, Virginia. I'm calling in with an overseen.

I'm walking home from my office at the University of Virginia, and I just happened to glance in a window at the life sciences building, and there's some sort of grad student office. And on the wall are about two dozen of the exact same picture of Kim Jong-un. Life sciences, you say? Yeah.

Yeah, well, spot the difference. They're doing one of those, like one of them, he's wearing a party hat. I feel like Yeah. Yeah, well, spot the difference. They're doing one of those. Like, one of them, he's wearing a party hat. I feel like I sort of, like, didn't pay attention to the news for one day. And, like, for weeks it was that North Korea was stockpiling nukes and they were, you know, befriending Dennis Rodman and they were threatening the West. And then one day no one ever talked about that ever again. Wasn't there a big – there was some news story that, like, really stole the – threatening the West. And then one day, no one ever talked about that ever again. Wasn't there a big, there was some news story that like really stole the, like stole the kind of thunder from.

Down Under. I think it was. It was some sort of Australian invasion. Yeah. But I feel like there was, there was some news story that, that was just all of a sudden that became the story. And Kim Jong-un was relieved he didn't have to nuke us. Yeah, exactly.

I mean, you know, he's a lot of bluster. And we all have a friend like Kim Jong-un, right? I'm going to do this. Let's not go to the bar with him. Yeah. Oh, you guys. I'm on my way i'm doing this i'm doing that and then sure you are yeah like kyle's trying to figure out what the

new story yeah i was like was it around the time that that fertilizer plant exploded i feel like it was before that yeah it was before that it was before the the uh guy who kidnapped those women in ohio it was it was a. Wasn't it a shooting? Oh, was it the crazy cop? Renegade cop who was... What story is that? Oh, in Los Angeles, there was like a cop who... No, it was the Boston thing.

It was the explosion in the Boston Marathon. That's what it was. Oh, right. How short our memories are, how short. Yep. But we did, well, we really did a 2013 and review that yeah yeah who are some of the celebrities we lost um um you know amanda bines presumably yeah yeah uh now we're recording this a a little bit in advance so we apologize to msynes if she is dead. Oh, God.

Yeah, Jonathan Winters we lost. Yeah. 2013. Special effects artist. Ray Manzarek. Yep. I forget that guy's name. But he died. Yeah, Clashy McTayton.

We respect his memory. We honor his memory by making up a nickname. Here's your next over. Hey, guys. It's Andy from Queensborough, Ohio, calling in with an overseen. And I'm driving home from work right now. I'm behind a blue Dodge Neon. It's very clearly a girl

in the car because of all the stuff all over the car. But there's one window decal that is a cowboy hat and it says, cowboy butts drive me nuts. Truck nuts drive my butt. Cowboy butts, sure.

I mean, we were talking about what you could say about someone's butt. Hey, your butt drives me nuts. Yeah, your butt drives me nuts. And I have a nut allergy. That's why I... You need to make sure you don't open that butt. Please don't open that butt around me. They probably don't serve your butt on airplanes anymore.

Your butt is nuts. You should keep an EpiPen in your butt. So I think we got to the bottom of that. Pretty good. Here's your final overheard. Hey guys, this is Jay from California. So I think we got to the bottom of that. Pretty good. Here's your final overheard. Hey, guys. This is Jay from California calling with an overheard.

My wife and I were in Disneyland recently, and right around closing time, I went to the locker area to retrieve the backpack that I had put in there earlier. And as I was walking away to go meet my wife outside, I overheard a middle-aged guy talking to his wife at one of the lockers. And I guess they were in some sort of heated argument. And as I walked past, I heard him say, you bought all these hats. What the fuck were you thinking? Whoa.

Wow. Oh, man. We're going to lose the house. Yeah. Like they're all fancy lady hats from the 30s and 40s. The only hats you buy at Disneyland are the mouse ears and the goofy hat that has the teeth on the front of the brim. You can also buy one that's the wizard hat from like, what's the- Fantasia. Fantasia, yeah. And it's got ears on it.

Yeah. And then, yeah, those are all the hats. Those are all the hats you can buy. You have three hats. What the fuck are you thinking? Sorry for the swearing. I was quoting it. Yeah.

Oh, so, okay. I didn't get it at first. I was like, I thought she packed a bunch of hats to bring to Disneyland. Yeah. And just didn't have enough time to change into them all. No, I think it was you bought a bunch of hats. Oh, okay, okay. Still.

You bought all these hats. Either way. Or you brought. Or like, yeah, why would you bring a bunch of hats to Disneyland? I like the... It's like bringing a... Because they take your picture on the rides right and so that's true you wear your fanciest hats pretend you were there

like yeah on kentucky derby day um that was like like in kind of the old time like it was everybody traveled with hats and hat boxes right yeah like that took up a lot of train like if people still did that on planes right now yeah like oh just like how many hat boxes am i allowed to take on the plane you're allowed to bring two hat boxes and something small like a laptop case you're allowed to bring two hat boxes and you're allowed to wear one hat on your head but it has to be a fascinator or small yeah and that you have to take that hat off and put it through the metal detector yeah and you have to sit you have to take it off once you sat down on the plane you can't just sit with your hat on the whole time

because it's rude yeah you used to be able to wear it through the metal detector but now thanks to 9-11 are you allowed to wear a giant sombrero if yeah it just has to be able to fit through the metal detector if it's bigger than that then it has to be able to fit through the metal detector. If it's bigger than that, then it has to fold up and go... Yeah, if it's too big, the metal detector will go...

I want to go back to a world where there are hats, but not back to the time when we traveled by coach. That's all. Yeah.

I want to be in this time and also hats. Like before you moved up to business class. Yeah. That's all. I want to be in this time and also hats. Like before you moved up to business class. Yeah, that's right. How many hats are you allowed in business? Ah, they bring, there's hats for you there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You get to try on hats in business class.

Do you know in business class, if you're wearing a jacket, they will hang it up for you in a little tiny closet? That's pretty sweet. Wow. Wow, really? Yeah. Oh, wow. Because of course you have a jacket, they will hang it up for you in a little tiny closet. That's pretty sweet. Wow. Wow, really? Yeah. Oh, wow. Because of course you have a jacket. Yeah, you're a businessman. That's true. You wore a suit on the plane. You're cut above. But what if you're like a famous nightclub DJ

and you just have a hoodie? Like you don't wear a jacket? Yeah. Do they hang up your hoodie? I think the term they shouldn't use is class. It should just be money people. Yeah. Good call. If you're a famous DJ, they take your giant mouse head instead.

They stash that for you. Oh, man, yeah. How many mice head are you allowed to bring onto a play? Just as many as you need to get through the concert. Pack light. Only pack your concert mouse head and your promotion. Or your Da helmets how old are those guys i was talking about they're 400 years old yeah like they they could be two 80 year old men under those helmets and no i think they're in their early 40s i would guess the more is it more fun to imagine that they're 80 of course it is

like with big glasses that barely fit under the helmet and then like oh they're into this music because they're out of touch yeah right like or they it's the music they assumed when they were growing up the kids now would like just like robot plinky plonk right that's what daft punk is yeah robot plinky plonk yeah um would it would it be a dead giveaway if one of the Daft Punk guys had to look really closely at a piece of paper? Sure. If his grandson is there trying to explain to him how an iPod works. And then all their concerts are over by 5 p.m.

Yeah. If for some reason the Geek Squad is behind the turntables every week. Yeah. If for some reason Geek Squad is behind the turntables every week. Yeah. Oh, man. Because theoretically they could just, like Batman, they could just pass the mantle of Daft Punk on to the future. That's a good idea. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They could, or even better, they could franchise it.

And there could be dozens of Daft Punks. There could be a Daft Punk in every city. I want to franchise a Daft Punk. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hi there. I'm looking to... I want to be one of you guys. Inquire.

I'm inquiring about the Daft Punk position. Yeah, I want to do the stuff you guys don't want to do. Mall openings, spreading wood chips around the city. Speaking sharp with a beautiful lady. Anyways, best wishes to Daft Punk. Yeah, and all the little punklets out there. Yeah. Now, we're here at the end of the show,

and this is a great place, great time. If you would like to plug anything. I mean, we said that you're a producer of shows. That's a bit of a stretch. Come on now. You put on shows. You're an impresario. I book two shows.

And they're both monthly. Two monthly shows. So when is the next? This comes out, you were saying, on June 10th-ish? Yeah. The first show, Eight and a Half Inches of Comedy, is on June 10th. Okay. So you will have missed it.

Yeah. Yep. Sorry about that. I hope you're one of those people that listens to the end of the podcast first. When's the one in July? No, there's another one in June. It's June 20th. That's the really exciting show that Graham will hopefully be on.

It's at the Cosmic Zoo at 930. It's on a Thursday night, June 20th. Myself and Ivan Decker are presenting a show that we have titled Phenonymous. Phenonymous? Why not Comedy at the Cause? I think Graham wins. This show's going to get cancelled

on the first night. Comedy with a K. Comedy at the Cause. Oh, that is a good name. You're welcome. You can have it. Maybe we'll change yeah. Comedy at the cost. Yeah. Oh, that is a good name. Yeah, thanks. You're welcome. You can have it. Maybe we'll change it. Yeah, comedy at the cost.

Name to be determined. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Well, Graham's franchising out names. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Also, what's your helmet size? But yeah, it's a fun comedy show where we're going to get a bunch of comics in, the people we like to work with, like yourself.

And Mr. Charlie Demers will be there. And yeah, you can tell jokes. And then we also have a bowl of audience suggestions that you can read out and riff off of. Nice. Yeah. And where can people go if they want to find you online? Oh, I have a terrible Twitter. Okay.

Sounds great. At terrible Twitter. Yeah, at terrible Twitter. No, sounds great. At terrible Twitter. Yeah, at terrible Twitter. No, I have at Kyle's bottom. Classic. But I mostly tweet at professional League of Legends players. I don't know what that is. That's the video game I'm into nowadays.

And it's like a professional sport. And so I tweet. Is it like World of Warcraft? No, it's more like Starcraft. So way different. Nobody knows what these things are. I mean, millions of people know. Yeah.

But two guys don't. Yeah. I think that your listeners should send you guys a message telling you who their favorite League of Legends players are. And I bet you will get responses. Oh, yeah, absolutely.

Do you know who mine is? You. Also tweet at Kyle's Bottom who your favorite League of Legends character is, player? Mine's Kleptron, the thief. Mine's Geek Squad. And all he does is steal your porn. Mine's Vemsmore. He's a couple of syllables I made up so Kyle's Bottom

and Comedy at the Cause yeah Comedy at the Cause on June 20th yeah they should come check that out and yeah it'll be fun fun Dave anything to plug now? I keep thinking about the Daft Punk with Geek Squad, and it keeps making me laugh. That's great.

June 27th. Oh, actually, June 17th at the Havana Theater is the Laugh Gallery. Oh, Laugh Gallery. Sweet. And then, yeah, June 27th in Calgary, Alberta at Lolita's Lounge, I'll be doing a strip show. Nice. An underage strip show? Yeah.

And then the 28th and 29th, I'll be in Saskatchewan, Regina at the Artesian. The capital. Yeah. And then the following in July, the last week in July, I'll be at Just for Laughs, but I have no idea where. It's not on the website yet.

And then in August. I'll be in Edinburgh, Scotland. For the duration of the month? Yep. Telling jokes at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. That's why we're sort of recording extra episodes now. Yeah. We're recording this in May.

Can you believe it? I hope the Geek Squad is still around. Oh, boy. By the time this comes out. Yeah, I hope Amanda Bynes is still alive. Oh, God. Kyle's very nervous about that. She is a person.

I know. I know. I know. I know, man. I don't actually know what she's famous for. I just heard. Oh, she was in movies. Yeah, she was in Hairspray. Yeah, she was in movies. Yeah, she was in Hairspray.

Yeah, she's the man. Yeah, she was in She's the Man. And she was also in What I Like About You. I think she had a TV show as well. That's the one. Okay, sure. With Jenny Garth. Jenny Garth and Amanda Bynes in What I Like About You.

Not ringing a bell. Well, you know, you seem awfully concerned for this person. You have no idea who it is. I always feel bad when paparazzi get all picture-takey on people. No, she took pictures of herself and put them on Twitter. She went a little crazy with the tweeting. Yeah. She tweeted that she wanted Drake to destroy her vagina.

Murder her vagina. Murder her vagina and then also, you know. That's how the kids are saying it these days. Vagina's just another word for you and me. For nothing left to lose. If you like the show, tell your friends and visit us at MaximumFun.org

where Dave does a blog recap every week, pictures and videos relating to the content of this podcast. You'd think we would have something by Clashy McTitan. There's no way that that Leigh-Anne Rimes video isn't going to make it. Boo! And if you want to get in touch with us, it's SPY at MaximumFun.org or 206-339-8328. And come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself. Stop Podcasting Yourself.