Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 285

Episode Date: September 2, 2013

No guest this week as we discuss house parties, Mel Gibson, and not wanting to work vs. wanting to bang on the drums all day.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello, everybody, and welcome to episode number 285 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who introduced me to the phrase hubba hubba ding ding, Mr. Dave Shumka. Yeah, that's... I know hubba hubba, but I never heard the ding ding part. You know, I think we probably said it earlier, like in my life.

Right. fire you know i think we probably said it earlier like in my life right but i my uh sister said it to me like a year ago when uh abby and i were about to go on our honeymoon she said you guys getting ready for your honeymoon hubba hubba ding ding it sounds like something from a gas station it's like something she i think she probably heard it from my dad or something like it's something yeah from a uh a simpler time like something that Like it's something from a simpler time. Like something that, who was the guy? Frankie Avalon. That's who I was thinking. Like Frankie Avalon would have said.

Hubba hubba ding ding, right? Who's Frankie Avalon? Isn't he the guy that was with Annette Funicello in those beach movies? Yeah, you're right. Yeah, yeah. He had big hairdo. I was thinking of Frankie Valli. I was like, why would he say that?

Oh, he might. To me, say that? He might sing it. Well, we don't have a guest today. Yeah. Here's what's up, listener. We have been... Uh-oh. Oh, dear. We're fine.

We're fine. We have been pre-taping episodes all summer because Graham is on this big late July, all of August tour of Montreal and Edinburgh. Yeah. And so it's actually been like, it's been going on for like eight weeks for us to cover six weeks. Yeah, because... We've just been doubling up episodes every week. Yeah, we didn't want to do

like four in a week because then that fourth one would be pretty void of things to talk about yeah so this is the final one of those next week's episode will be recorded uh you know i'll be here with my scottish tan yeah it'll be recorded in September. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, the leaves will be on the ground. But as of now... The kids will be on the ground. Yeah. Kids will be back at school getting pummeled by bigger kids. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

On the ground. On the ground, yeah. Right now it is late July. Yeah, and it's, you know... I guess there's like heat waves everywhere. Not really here. It's hot here, but it's not like... We've had a heat wave.

It's weird. The heat wave just kind of... It didn't like... Came and went. But it didn't break. It wasn't like... Oh, yeah. There wasn't like a big relief of five days of rain or something.

Also, nobody died in our heat wave. I mean drownings. Yeah, that's weird because there's been a heat wave in London and a lot of the death toll is people drowning. Yeah. But I'm like, I guess they wouldn't be at the beach. That technically, like it's like technically related. But it's like if somebody slipped during a storm, you wouldn't count that as a, would you? What if they slipped in their bathtub?

During a tornado when everybody's like, get into your bathtub. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Would you count that as a tornado fatality? Oh, boy. These are good questions. Well, I've never, I was reading the paper and it was about the heat wave that was in London. Can we get to know us? Oh, yeah. Get to know us.

Get to know us? Oh yeah Get to know us Get to know us The heat wave in London in July It was like a crazy high number It was like 200 people have died It wasn't that high But it was something astonishing for a heat wave How many did you say? 200 I thought you said 200,000

It's fine You're fitting the herd But it was like A lot of it was people at the beach Okay. I thought you said 200,000. It's fine. You're thinning the herd. But it was like, a lot of it was people at the beach. It wasn't like people dying of the heat. It was dying of related activities. Yeah. Opening up fire hydrants and such. Oh, yeah.

Dying at the beach. Crab attacks. Yep. Getting sand kicked in your face by a big... By a bully. Yeah. Yeah, because you're a weakling. Uh-huh.

A pencil neck geek. You know, swallowing too much suntan lotion. They call it sun cream over there, which I could see. I guess we call it sunscreen now. Yeah. Because you're not supposed to encourage tanning anymore. Well, I always called it suntan lotion. Yeah.

Well, that's not... is that really what it is i think before when it was like like let's go out and get a sun but when it was like just an oil you would put on yeah what the fuck was that to baste yourself to like keep yourself nice and juicy it's like creating a liquid prism on you to get more yeah yeah yeah well i would wear a like a have you seen those things that they're not like a magnifying glass but it's like something an older person it's a whole sheet that you put over a page that oh that's what i would do all over my body just to get yep to kill the ants yeah and to get a nice suntan yeah if you uh let the ants walk across your chest you get uh two for one

yeah because i would what i would do it i would go to the beach i would do lsd and first of all i would read absolutely i would read a book about ants yep then do lsd then go to the beach and just imagine then i would hallucinate ants all over me so I would put these prison things on me. This sounds like a really fun summer. Yeah, yeah. It was a real Timothy Leary summer. Yeah, I don't think I've ever... They still sell that stuff, like the... What is it called?

Like butter or oil? Oh, yeah. Body... Yes. Suntan oil? Yeah. And I see... Hawaiian tropics? Yes, Hawaiian tropics. I see... It smells wonderful. Oil. Yes. Suntan oil? Yeah. And I see- Hawaiian tropics?

Yes, Hawaiian tropics. I see- It smells wonderful. Yeah. And it's only older people, I think. Well, maybe teenage girls. They're pretty dumb. Hawaiian tropics still has those-

They have, like, bikini contests. Yeah, you gotta be oily for that. Well, yeah, but it's not all old people in those contests. I mean, it's a few. No, absolutely. Was that to look good? Like putting a brown oil on you made you look shiny and that was appealing? I feel like it cooks you browner.

It's really weird. It's like putting a nice rub on a set of ribs before you put it in the smoker how come there's no sudden rub oh yeah like you get a nice 4-3-2-1 rub you get four parts okay four parts

salt three parts sugar two parts paprika one part coconut oil yeah one percent concentrated power of will. And you put it on, and as it bakes, you smell great. Yeah. It's got, like, vanilla in it or something. I mean, there was a Seinfeld where Kramer used butter.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But that was a real product. Like, body butter was, like, a thing that people used to like just grease themselves up. Well, I know in cooking there are different fats you're supposed to use for different things. Fats domino. Yeah. Jeez. I'm trying to think of like a pool player.

Oh, Minnesota fats? Sure. I think that's it. Oh, fatty. Well, fatty arpical. No, fatty., Minnesota Fats? Sure. I think that's it. Oh, Fatty. Well, Fatty Arbuckle. No, Fatty. It's not, yeah. Fatty Klein.

Fatso Arbuckle. Yeah, they're different fats you're supposed to use at different temperatures because, like, butter burns at a really low temperature. Oh, yeah. So, and, like, olive oil burns at a really low temperature. Oh, yeah. And olive oil burns at a higher temperature. But if you're cooking something very hot, you're supposed to use vegetable oil, like canola oil. Right. Because it doesn't burn as easily. Is that like the Chinese food would all be vegetable oil?

I feel like they're cooking stuff very hot. Oh, like a deep frying. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I think you would use a vegetable oil. You wouldn't use a butter. Oh, imagine though. Oh, boy. I think you can, you can, what is poached?

I think you can poach something in butter. I think it's when you hunt a rhino without a license. I think that's when you cook, it's like when you cook something in, like a, you know, a boiling bucket of butter. I have no idea what a poached egg is now that i think about it a poached egg is an egg cooked underwater but but without a shell so you take the break an egg into boiling water yeah ew and it it's really hard to make because it can get really cloudy yeah you there's like tricks you need to do i have never done it well but you do you can either like swirl the water really fast to make sure that

keep the egg together well at all sort of yeah yeah or like adding a little bit of vinegar is apparently something to do yeah no it is uh no thanks it's a a mess but you know if you it pays off man i uh like i used to think that I knew how to make scrambled eggs, and then I watched a thing of Gordon Ramsay making scrambled eggs. Yeah, you never let them stop moving? What? I let them stop moving the second they hit the pan. I just screw them up and then let them cook. They taste awful.

Yeah. I've watched that Gordon Ramsay thing. Yeah, well, I don't... It's the nicest he's ever been. Yeah, it's because it's just him and the eggs. But, yeah. He knows not to yell around the eggs. It kind of makes the yolk runny if you scream at the eggs.

He's, yeah, I don't think I've ever made... Like, sunny side up, I can make, no problem. A scrambled egg, now that I've seen what a scrambled egg could be, I realize that I'm doing it wrong. But you can fix it. Oh, yeah. I mean, with practice. Yeah. You put it on the heat.

You take it off the heat. But you never stop moving it. Yeah. And you also add, you know, something. And it's a great way to, like, whenever I make it like that, the pan or the pot, whatever, saucepan. Yeah. Ugh.

Words. Your crepe pans, I got you. Like half of it is just ruined. I need to watch it 10 times because it just burns to the sides of it. His didn't in the video. It's like he has this magic. He probably uses that nice Jamie Oliver's brand. Yeah.

Oh, scandalous. He, like, somebody wrote on a thing that they ate at one of his restaurants before he was famous and said it was, like, the best dinner they'd ever had in their life. That he's, like, not just, you know. He's not like Simon Cowell where it's like, oh, did you ever actually do anything good? Or are you just really good at being a judge of things? But like apparently he's really good.

Wasn't Simon Cowell a Spice Girl manager or something? He was, he invented some. V-neck. He invented V-neck t-shirts. Okay. He, like the British version of New Kids on the Block. That was him. Oh, Boyzone, Take That, Westlife. Yeah, I think it was Take That and one of those.

One or all of those. What was the one with the girls? Not the Spice Girls. Girls Aloud All Saints. All Saints. There you go. Yeah. Sugar Babes.

Oh, man. They got a whole other word for everything over there. But like Gordon Ramsay apparently is like really good at the thing that he says he's good at. Yeah, yeah. Well, I think that's probably true of most people. I don't know. Like who get famous. Like what about Donald Trump?

Is he good at anything or was... No, he went bankrupt a couple times, I think. And his dad was rich. Yeah. Like he didn't... He's not good at being smart and being rich. I guess that's true. But like you can't...

If your dad is a great chef and you become a great chef does that make does that take anything away from it I don't I don't think inheriting like skills is a bad but if his dad was like a rich guy who was like his dad was a real estate guy and then his son just like took over yeah yeah took over that the the real estate yeah but it's not like if i had a lot of money like if you really real estate's not like a hard just go to he opens places in like new york and las vegas yeah like any idiot would know that oh where's a popular place people like i'll open a hotel there. He's not like the Vegas in the 40s. Yeah, he wasn't a visionary.

He just saw hundreds of years of property values increasing. And was like, oh, yeah, I'll continue. Yeah, yeah. I'll just buy, you know, where the values are good and people still are. You know, he's not like. And you know how we can fit uh this many people into this place why don't we make more floors so we can put more people yeah but you know like he talks like he's like this he says you're fired oh yeah that's his oh did he say i'm fired yeah

yeah yeah he told me to tell you you're fired oh shit oh fuck i should have i don't know i've been going in i've been going in for weeks that That would be great on The Apprentice if Donald Trump was sick one week. And his son was there? And he was like, yeah. He told me to tell you. You're fired. It's, oh, man. Yeah, like, it's funny because there's these guys.

Like, I read about this guy. His kids all seem really cool, though. Yeah, that one, the one son. All of them. He seems like he's got a real sparkle in his eye. Yeah, he's got a real caveman head. Exactly. He looks like one of those like kids books where you take like a head from one character and a body from another.

I was never much of a reader. body from another oh i was never much of a reader um did you ever see there was like a documentary about donald trump trying to open a golf course in scotland and like they were like yay golf course scotland and uh then he started adding all this other shit you know like ah there's gonna be this there's gonna be condos it's gonna be cool yeah great wolf lodge it's gonna be you know stores and stuff and he like developed all this stuff that was like golf course adjacent and scotland was like no not we don't want that and they uh fought him on it and they won like they uh well they they've never lost scotland yeah that's right they uh they really william wallace did um but he sent his dumb son to go deal with him and uh that's why on their money they still have a picture of the queen because this referendum

is uh really yeah in 2014 i. I find their history quite boring. Didn't they? What about Braveheart? Isn't that like that? I never saw it. It seemed boring. It's pretty good. It seems long though, right?

It is long, but it's like if you like that kind of thing, you'll like that kind of thing. If you like that kind of thing. But I'm really confused about why they're still part of Britain. Yeah, but there's a lot of people there that don't want to be. But in the Olympics, they compete with England. But in soccer, they compete against England. That's right. And I don't know.

Maybe this royal baby will change things around. Yeah. They'll be like, we want to be a part of this kid's life. Here's a, let me specify a few things. We're recording this the day of the royal baby being born. Yeah, that's right. Royal baby bubby book. Blue Ivy 2.

Yeah. Did they name the kid yet? No. Does it have to have a... Human name? Well, like a royal name royal name no they can give it like galvatron they might name it after one of the the heroes from pacific rim um i haven't seen it have you seen it no is galvatron one of the no someone like no they all have like uh you know

uh optimus prime or we have like vaguely whimsical names for the thing crushinator it's like ginger spice um i wouldn't i wouldn't hate it if there was one of the robots in pacific rim was themed to be like a girl power robot like because i have doubt there. But I bet you that would be fun. Maybe that's got sequel potential. Yeah. This time, the robots have boobs. Well, just like one scrappy lady robot. Because I bet you they're all guy robots, controlled by guys. That's my guess.

No, there's at least one controlled by a woman. But is it a guy robot on the outside? I don't know. Do they all have robot wieners? No, they're wearing bathing suits, so it's hard to tell. Yeah, that's true. They're in the water most of the outside. I don't know. They don't. They don't. Do they all have robot wieners? No, they should. They're wearing bathing suits. So it's hard to tell. Yeah, that's true.

They're in the water most of the time. Yeah. Oh, man. Yeah. So, but I thought with royal kids, like you have to be William or Lance.

Yeah. Lucius. Lucius. You have to be Lucius or Commodus or Maximus. Yeah. The only royalty I really know is from Gladiator. See, but if you like Gladiator, I feel like Gladiator and Braveheart are the same family of films.

Yeah, I know. I agree. Lots of swords. Mm-hmm. Lots of screaming. Mm- um not not as many tigers knowing what i know now about mel gibson that he might enjoy it less that he's super talented yeah that he's a uh very political he hasn't made anything that anybody has seen since his his no one saw the gopher the beaver no or the gringo or ring go get the gringo was one of the ones that came out it

came out yeah he he's been making movies like every year but the last thing he made that people saw the passion of the Christ yeah I would say the passion of the Christ then he he went on a very anti-Semitic rant when he was drunk. The Passion of the Christ was anti-Semitic as well. Yeah, yeah. He was traveling a well-traveled path for Mel Gibson. He wasn't breaking new ground. So he did that.

Then he drunkenly. He told off the cops. He accused the police of being Jewish. Yeah, that's right. I believe the policeman actually was Jewish. Yeah. But that was weird. Yeah.

And he was drinking and driving. Yeah. And he called one of the female cops sugar tits. He's a monster. He's some kind of monster and then he uh uh like he at least verbally abused his girlfriend oh yeah that's right on the phone yeah who may or may not have been is was her name nadia suleiman or is that the octagon that's the octagon they look a lot alike um and then mel gibson uh but here's the thing

he's gonna he's gonna come back because he's the bad guy in the new expendables movie and he'll he'll be he's also in the back in business before you even know it i have uh his imdb up right now as an actor get the gringo um go to gringo uh let's see what in after after 2005 he took a few years off and then in 2010 he was in a movie called edge of darkness okay yeah or he played thomas darkness then the beaver yeah then get the gringo yeah this year he's in machete kills see this is the beginning of him coming back but those the machete movies are um they're uh great well no the machete movie it had a lot of like weird cameos like robert de niro and lindsey lowen yeah she yeah it's you know what it's it feels like one of those movies where it's like uh this is this is the movie you can get in to show that you don't take yourself super seriously

and uh yeah you know what i mean like because i feel like robert de niro he got back on track after his machete appearance yeah he's he's uh doing great He's doing great. He's top of his game. Watch, Mel Gibson will make a full recovery because they love a story of... They? The Jews? Yeah. People love a story of an anti-Semite getting back on his feet.

He also made Apocalypto. That was after The Passion of the Grass. Oh, I saw 15 minutes of that on a plane. And it is... I think Mel Gibson has mental problems that he makes movies so violent. Yeah, I enjoyed Apocalypto. It's violent!

But it's short. Oh, yeah. It's a short that they showed before other movies. And it's got, like, no dialogue in it. A Mel Gibson short? Before the Pixar movie? Yeah, we're just gonna show you this 90 minute

It's just so violent. Terrible Aztec chase. Yeah, it's just a classic Mel Gibson short. Yeah, I couldn't watch it though. It was too I was on a plane.

I feel like I gotta, like, watch a movie that's family-friendly when I'm on a plane. I don't want other people... Yeah, I've never seen... Well, I think I've seen, like, three Pixar movies, but... All on planes? Yeah, at least two of them on planes. I haven't seen the latest one of the Pixar, or the latest two, maybe. What's the latest one? Cars 2 or Brave.

Oh, I didn't see Brave. Planes comes out this summer. Oh, with the voice of Dane Cook. I believe it's in the Cars universe. Yeah. And did you see Wreck-It Ralph? No. Yeah, I'm way behind.

Saw that on a plane. Also, Monsters University. Haven't seen it. So I'm like four behind. That's fine. Never see that. Or do, I don't care. Yeah, I'm way behind. Saw that on a plane. Also, Monsters University. Haven't seen it. So I'm like four behind. That's fine. Never see that. Or do, I don't care. Yeah, whatever.

There's one that's out now. I mean, now being the day that the royal baby. Uh-huh. Little baby Luigi. There's one about a snail that can go as fast as a car. That's not Pixar, though. No, but it's really car that's not pixar though no but it's it's really that's a really weak like uh at least pixar's premises across the board i'm like i can get on board

for that there's a movie about monsters how many of these digital animated movies do you think you don't remember because i was when i saw an ad for turbo i suddenly i remembered that movie bolt oh about a dog about i think a speedy dog voiced by john travolta with also miley cyrus's voice was it directed by uh was it a comeback was it john travolta's comeback yeah yeah yeah he um he plays shorty. When, like a celebrity voice in those movies, unless it's like a really famous voice. Do you know what I mean? Like Billy Crystal's voice is like very famous. But like, otherwise, why would you pay a name actor? Like, nobody's going to hear Ryan.

Owen Wilson as the car? Yeah, or Ryan Reynolds as a slug are those for the parents i don't know who they're for i i assume it's agents that are really good at wheeling but like it must be hey parents take your kid to see this movie because like the everyone like there's something in it for you yeah everyone says the pixar ones are you know good enough for grown-ups but i don't i'm not sure the other ones are. No, the other ones I know are not. Yeah.

Because I've watched, oh, what was the one I watched at my cousin's house? It was one of those. It was one of the ones with, there's like a smile that these characters do on the posters. Oh, Ice Age or Madagascar. Yeah, it was, I think it it was called it was the one that had will ferrell in it and it was like a super villain and it was called like make megamind oh yeah mars needs moms yeah that uh well yeah mars needs moms does not need moms well yeah exactly just for kids those mars needs moms and needs not exist. There was one about a guy that goes to a Martian planet and he's...

Mars? Well, I don't want to lump all Martians together. Do you think all Hispanics are Mexicans? I don't. um they i don't um but there's a movie where a guy from earth lands on a planet that's all john carter no although i did also watch that on a plane no it's like it what if earth was all aliens and an alien landed here but instead of an alien it's a human like and we're aliens like yeah all the the characters are aliens except this guy who's a human and he lands on. It's not John Carter.

But it was like a Pixar thing. It was bad. It was bad. That's what that was ramping up to. Good. Must miss. Ice Ages, those are good. Those are good enough.

I don't know. Dennis Leary. Sure, yeah, kids love him. Yeah. Drake. I think Drake was in the most recent one. Nicki Minaj, maybe. Yeah.

Oh, see, there was, what was the one with Will Smith in it? Shark Tale? Yeah. Yeah. That was like. Shark Tale was the poor man's Finding Nemo. Yeah. And by poor man, I mean Jeffrey Katzenberg.

Yeah, kind of a working man's Finding Nemo? Yeah. And by poor man I mean Jeffrey Katzenberg. Yeah, kind of a working man's Finding Nemo. Like, not as highfalutin, you know? Yeah. Like, these stingrays talk like my neighbors. Yeah. My neighbors, Katzenberg and Geffen. Yeah, I don't

I don't know. You're right, though. But that's the dumbest premise that I've ever heard for one of those. The snail is as fast as a race car. That's not, if he could drive a race car, then now we're talking. Now we're talking. Oh, so he. The snail himself is as fast as a race car. So in this world.

You sound like an old man. I feel like an old man. I feel like an old man. Because in this planet, nobody thinks that that's weird. Oh, in this movie. Yeah, that a snail... Well, I think someone must. Someone must at the beginning say,

you know, you have to be of noble birth to compete. But there's, look, there's things that are as fast as a race car that they don't let participate. Like what? A rocket. You can't just enter a rocket into... You can't control a rocket. Well, a jet.

You can't just have a jet fly around the track. You have to have contact with the ground at all times. Well, I guess a snail would qualify. Yep. Is it one of those things? Would a cheetah? Yeah, they wouldn't let a cheetah race uh which i think is racist i think i uh i bet you there's a scene where they say like well there's nothing that says that a snail can't but it's like do you have

to make a rule for everything yeah that's true there's nothing that says a snail can't be president that's true as long as it's 35 years old and born in the. There's nothing that says a snail can't be president. That's true. As long as it's 35 years old and born in the States. There's nothing. Isn't that right, your Kenyan president? Yeah, see, like I would. Let's see this snail's birth certificate. That would be.

Long form. I would watch. I would watch that if that was the sequel to. What is it called? Yeah. Thanks. Fast snail. Fast times the snail high.

So the sequel, he becomes president? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because he's so popular from his racing circuit. Assuming that he doesn't get crushed. It is just a popularity contest, isn't it? The presidency? Yeah. Yeah, absolutely.

Now with the 24-hour news cycle. Also, you know, television. I think ever since television was a big factor? Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Now with the 24-hour news cycle. Mm-hmm. Also, you know, television. I think ever since television was a big factor. Yeah. Being like... Not bald. Yeah, not bald. And also not in a wheelchair, right?

Yeah. Because the last... Was it... FDR? Yeah. Yeah. He was the last kind of like old man president. Oh, I don't know.

Reagan was pretty old. He was, but he had a real Hollywood. But he didn't have polio. That's true. They also had like that kind of like crazy hairdo that some old guys have, like where they just hold on to their hair till the day they die. Yeah. Yeah, he had that. Thick and luscious.

Yeah, he always. Lustrous. I feel like you could do a lot of things in the presidency but being bald is not one of the things not anymore in a man no like who was the last one eisenhower yeah like i mean ford a bit but ford had like a like a comb over and ford wasn't elected yeah no i don't think that i don don't think America's ready to elect another bald president. Yeah. Unless it's a bald woman.

Yeah. How about it, America? I think America will elect another woman, another black, another woman, a Hispanic, a gay, every minority possible before they... they elect a bald yeah yeah i agree oh canada not not as picky we we i think we could go right now our prime minister has a lot of hair crazy yeah helmet of hair but i could see our country electing a bald prime minister no problem jack layton he was the official opposition bald as they come yeah uh but yeah i feel like that could still happen yeah there's a lot of stuff that happens in canadian politics where you just become prime minister without getting elected

yeah i was prime minister for a couple weeks yeah because the last guy uh stepped down and was like hey let's let graham do it yeah Until we figure out it's someone else. I passed that crazy law that said that if a rule book doesn't specifically say something, then the opposite of that thing is allowed. Yeah. Yeah. If you don't say snails aren't allowed, then snails are allowed. Yeah. If there's no rule that says you can't have a rifle on the basketball court, then you're allowed to have a rifle on the basketball court.

Yeah. Guess what? We're flattening some balls today yeah yeah uh your testicles yeah guess what we're gonna shoot around today um so what's uh what's happening with you oh boy uh hubba hubba ding ding right um let's see what is going on with me uh well i uh abby and i hosted a party here a very successful party i guess yeah people showed up they had fun people showed up we um uh we haven't really done that before no that's true And we probably won't. Like, I mean, maybe next year. Yeah, yeah. It's not something you do often as a person.

Like, you do it once a year. Yeah. Maybe around a holiday, like either summertime or Christmas time. Yeah, so we had a barbecue in our yard, and we invited, like, I don't know, 25 people? Is that how many people were there? Yeah. I guess we invited more than that, but that's how many people came and um uh it was fun yeah but it is like if on paper it's strange to be like let's clean all day and then clean all the next day yeah yeah let's

have people over for five hours and then clean more. Yeah. And also in that time that people are there, you've got to like, you're the host. So it's not like people show up and then you get to like kick up and relax. Like you're on from the day before till the day after straight through. Oh, yeah. I was in charge of the barbecue, which meant being like these tools touch meat they can't touch veggie things right oh yeah and then there was a people there was all people that had different dietary this kind of i can't have this there's a lot of that type of thing yeah there's a lot of like i'm having a burger with no butt yeah that's that's happening now like that's

a that's like if you told me five years ago that would be a thing everybody I know would be doing, I would have laughed in your face, Dave. And it's weird, because there's that old joke about, like, oh, why do they sell you eight wieners but only six buns? Oh, yeah. Why do they? Or I think they sell you- For your gluten-free friends.

Yeah, but I think it actually works the other way around, where they sell you more buns than wieners. Yeah. Yeah. That's a good premise. Is anybody doing that? Yeah, your dad. Everyone's dad.

Pretty good, dads. Dads of the world, throw down your tools and your barbecue tools. But yeah, it was a good time for a party. Yeah. Like we used to, on the Facebook event, which is how you do a party these days, what with technology. Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, there would have been a time that you would have had to send out invites, or you would have had to call Klondike 5. Yeah.

You know, put me through to all my friends. Yeah. Just ask. Yeah. 411. Yeah. I need you to put me through these 18 numbers. I'll hold.

The Sandersons on 15th Avenue. The Andersons on 14th Avenue. And yeah. And then everyone was gone by 11. It was great. Yeah. That's real adult hours. Now, you had this very civilized party here.

My roommates threw the opposite type of party at my dwelling. Yeah, ours was from 5 to 11. Yours was from 11 to 5. Yeah, pretty much. It was like, and not that it was anything crazy, but it's like, it's been a long time since I've been around people who smoked cigarettes. So that was weird. Like, what? There's still people that smoke cigarettes?

And, you know. Inside or outside? Outside. But still, like, I was like, what the? Like, this is in high school, right? weren't high schoolers i hope oh yeah yeah yeah do high school schoolers even smoke anymore i don't know somebody must be the tobacco industry isn't like ah we're up we're broke we give up yeah you win weird packaging like uh yeah there was still people smoking. And it was good. It was, like, nice people, but it was, like, it was, like, a party where there's just, like, people were there until, like, three or four in the morning.

And you were trying to sleep. You were in curlers. I ghosted from my own house into my room. Ghosting is what some people call. When you just kind of vanish from. An Irish exit. I never heard it called an Irish exit Or someone else called it a French leave I thought a French leave is when you're like in the Navy

And you go see a prostitute Yeah sure What is the French word for leaf? I don't know Entree? Oh Depar? Yeah par or or a leaf but you just like you just say bye to whoever's kind of immediately around you yeah you don't go through the party saying bye to everybody you just walk out the door that's perfect yeah but it's hard to do in your own house that's true yeah which i did uh and like uh i put a lock on my

door because i don't know who any of these people were i knew some of the people but not you put a lock on your door that day uh no the last time they had a party okay i uh installed a padlock yeah because uh i couldn't get the the handle off of the door because the door was like built with the handle so i had to go buy screws and like make makeshift wow padlock and my roommates made fun of me for doing that the last time and then i went i like how many times have you used it since just that once okay uh you don't you don't like when your friend's a weird friend or your roommate's weird friend just like bust out the bed like or just anytime they bring over a girl i'm just like i'll just lock this up yeah yeah you know i got a lot of nice makeup in there i don't want

um but yeah so i you know like not, like I went like at like two. I was like, I'm going to bed, you know? Yeah. And I went in my room and like I was only in there for 10 minutes and somebody like opened my door. They were going to go snooping around. What? Yeah. And I scared him.

I went, oi! And he panicked and slammed the door. Oh yeah, because you can't lock the padlock. From the inside. No, yeah. Yeah. So I was- You should have just had your roommate lock you in there for the padlock from the inside yeah so i should have just had your roommate lock you in there for the night like a wolfman

it's not a bad idea but uh see i was right you get strangers in a house they'll just fucking walk in any room yeah totally yeah and yeah i gotta swear oh yeah oh no i uh when we had the party i was like i, I've got to hide all my prescriptions. Yeah, all my unmentionables. Oh, well, yeah, that's the other thing, too. All my Oxy. Because there's two bathrooms in the place. And I was like, oh, as long as nobody knows that there's a bathroom downstairs.

But then somebody busted out that secret. Oh, yeah. And then it was just like, constant use. Mm-hmm. Flusha flusha. Yeah. Used all the toilet paper. All the water.

Yeah. All the water. There's no water left. All the rainwater in the well that you've been saving all winter. It's gone. Exactly. Yeah, I really- Let it mellow, guys.

I was the grasshopper and all these ants, party ants, just came in and took all my grasshopper goods. Yeah. So, that's the two ends of the party spectrum. Yeah. I am, uh... Oh, do you think, speaking of smoking... Yeah. I'm thinking of taking up smoking.

Okay. What kind? Well, now I'm... Well, now... Ganja crack? Yeah. No, no. Just tobacco?

Yeah. Okay. Some wacky. Yeah. Oh, sure. Yeah. Yeah. No, no. Just tobacco? Yeah. Okay. Some wacky. Yeah, sure. Yeah. Yeah. When the spirit moves you. Yeah.

Yeah, I understand. But I feel like it's easier if you're a teenager now and you're taking up smoking, it's better. Yeah. Because you have a phone with you. So if you're outside by yourself, well, at least you got your phone. Oh, that's true keep you company i feel like i like uh the phone has replaced that that reason to smoke to have uh something for your nervous hands to do okay yeah like the phone's really like because smoking a lot of times you could just like get out of a conversation by being like i'm gonna

go have a smoke. Right. Especially if the person you were with wasn't a smoker. Right. But now you can just, you don't even have to say that. You just start looking at your phone. Yeah. That's great. You don't even have to say anything.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just like, I'm out of this conversation. Uninteresting. You people bore me. Yeah. So aside from just trying to look cool, I think there's no other reason to start smoking. But looking cool is very important. Yeah.

Like one of the most important things in high school. But it's hard. It's hard. You don't look as cool as you think you do. It's like a cigarette is easily like a fedora for some guys. It's not doing what you think it's doing. And most, I will say this, most of the teenage girls that i've seen smoking cigarettes uh still

looks good still good look no they look real goofy they they don't know what they're doing they don't they've never seen anybody smoke they don't have any smoking role models like i did yeah yeah yeah because they don't like all our all they watch is like the disney channel yeah yeah whereas when we were young there was no disney there was the winona rider channel and you liked it yeah and it was all cool smoking yeah yeah like i i feel like i knew how to smoke because smoking wasn't like you learned from winona rider yeah winona rider and um you know burt re Reynolds probably. Your big influence was Girl Interrupted. No, it was like, you know, Mermaids.

Autumn in New York. Yeah, exactly. Did she smoke in? Oh, probably Reality Bites. Definitely Reality Bites. Oh, everybody in that. Made it look so cool. Yeah.

Yeah. But there's no equivalent to that now. Like, the coolest movies that come out, there's nobody smoking in them. Like, I can't think of a... What are they doing? How do you know someone's cool in a movie? They just don't say anything? The Ryan Gosling thing?

Yeah, you kill a guy with a hammer. Oh, yeah, you have a toothpick. Yeah, he didn't smoke in the drive. And that's the coolest movie that's come out, right? guess what would be the equivalent for a girl like ah what a cool girl role um i know there are ones yeah yeah but i don't feel like i'm on tumblr i know the girls watch movies but uh there's no i don't know i think when you see uh like miley cyrus doesn't smoke no uh rihanna doesn't smoke she smokes pot but she didn't smoke cigarettes that's true and like you know what i mean like beyonce doesn't smoke yeah like jay-z doesn't smoke you know what i mean like none of

the cool people smoke anymore it's like people who have just like like johnny depp but he was macaulay culkin yeah yeah those guys like he's 50 right macaulay culkin is 50 yeah johnny depp is 70 wow he looks fantastic did you see the picture of uh heraldo naked yeah i didn't see it looks he looks great is juicy? Almost. Does it look dastardly? His penis has the same hair as his mustache. But he's for 70. Oh, yeah. Even for 50. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He's doing great. We wish him the best. My dad is getting up there. I think he still has the same size waist as i do wow yeah how do you know he's not just changing the tax oh it's true yeah you should ask you to borrow a pair of his pants so you see how they fit or i should offer to let him borrow a pair of mine yeah or say dad i want my pants inheritance early. I want to inherit all the pants you're going to give me so you can see me enjoy them.

And he'll say, no, son, I'm giving those pants to Jerry. Yeah, yeah, you're going to have to earn your own pants. I'm giving those pants to all my cats. Pants without borders, etc. to all my cats. Pants without borders, etc. The other thing that's going on with me is I went to Five Guys Burgers.

Which is... I don't know what that is. It's a burger place. It's an American chain. Did you say at one point it has peanuts? Yeah. They have one downtown now. And does it have peanuts? Yeah. And they have one downtown now.

And does it have peanuts? Yeah, but they're not everywhere. Well, where are they? Just on the tables? Yeah, like you get a little thing of peanuts. I saw a guy eating a little thing of peanuts. I think they're free is the thing. To me, that's like peanuts now is like going into a restaurant that still lets smoking happen.

Or an airplane that still lets smoking happen. Yeah, yeah. It's like, oh, what? People are eating peanuts just out in the open here? Sorry, buddy. Yeah, no, I know. But it's like when I was a kid, every restaurant. Every circus.

There would just be peanuts. There were always peanuts everywhere. And now peanuts are nowhere. So if you went to a place that just had peanuts everywhere, feels like very like old-timey very underground uh this place is not very underground but anyway they only play classic rock okay and they only kind of play like late 70s early 80s classic rock like you'll hear steppenwolf um like billy squire what's billy squire uh uh the stroke stroke oh yeah yeah uh and they were playing popular with rowing and they were playing that song um i don't want to work i want to bang on the drums all day yeah what era of music is that i believe it is the 70s might be the early

80s i thought it was a commercial jingle i didn't know it was actually a song it's by todd rundgren oh really who is a guy who's got a famous name who i don't know anything about like i know he's like he was a big music producer but yeah is he the one who sang get a haircut and get a real george thurgood thurgood not run grid okay um and uh i was listening to this song in five guys eating a burger that i did not enjoy oh really the burgers it's fine but it's so much like it's so much food is it what's the what is the five guys in reference to? Like the hand that you use to eat the burger? No, they all stand in a circle. No, I don't know what it's in reference to.

Five guys. Oh, maybe from the Bible. Oh. Maybe Jesus' top five guys. Oh, maybe it's from like. Dave Clark Five. Or like a cell phone plan where you get your top five your five guys burgers isn't there another chain in america that's like three

amigos it's like three giant heads like characters with giant heads oh um you know what i'm talking about they're an auto parts thing yeah they're called like oh boy what is that but that's what i thought five guys was. Zippy Guys? Yeah. Yeah. Something like that. Like pre-Bobblehead Giant Head Guys. Yeah.

Oh, that's going to bother me. Pep Boys. Yay. We got it at the same time. We did it. And it seemed almost like we have a producer feeding us information. We got it at the same time. Thanks, Todd.

Yeah. Todd Runkrit. We hired a big-time producer. Anyway, so this I Don't Want to Work, I Want to Bang on the Drums All Day song. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This was the song they played on morning radio on Fridays. Okay. Oh, to get you in the mood for the weekend?

It was the Friday morning song song sure on lg 73 with the morning zoo crew and constable bob oh man that's like don joanne and the coach that was a late 96 in calgary um and uh i've never really listened to this song before um i don't like it it's not uh no it's dumb it's not a good thing to listen to while people are working yeah yeah that's true but the lyrics are i don't want to work i want to bang on the drums all day i don't want to play i want to bang on the drums all day this guy doesn't he doesn't derive any enjoyment from this banging. He's toiling. Yeah, but he doesn't consider it work, though.

Yeah. It's his passion. It's like some kind of life force, some kind of, you know, thanatos, some death drive. I thought, I really did think it was a jingle from like a Reebok commercial. Oh, it's a perfect one. Like it's meaningless. Yeah. It is very meaningless.

Because nobody wants, if you've ever been to a drum circle, which I have. Yeah. You get sick of that pretty quick. Do you think it's hand drums or drumstick drums, like a kit? Oh, I think that's crazy. That you wouldn't be able to work, but you would aspire to own a whole kit and a place to play it. No way. You just need the whatever.

You need to work to earn $800. Then you can play. Then you don't want to work. You want to bang on the drums all day. Yeah, well, that's true. Well, I guess it doesn't specify. I just assume if it's somebody talking about not working and in connection with drums, it's a bongo situation. That's true.

Yeah. with drums it's a bongo that's true yeah although there are there are jokes about drummers about like yeah they're they're um you know unemployable unemployable what do you call a uh drummer whose girlfriend kicks him out no no drummer who breaks up with his girlfriend almost yeah girlfriend kicks him out kind of telegraphs what do you call a drummer who uh doesn't have a home uh down on his luck drummer um yeah so the five guys burger not great free peanuts great i i guess i didn't get any were they in the shell yeah is that fun to break open a peanut and like eat a peanut it feels like you you're working off the calories from the peanut.

Have you, you're allergic to all nuts. Yeah. Sunflower seeds? Nope. Have you had those? Yeah. Do you enjoy working to get those out of the shell? No, no.

But, you know, I think like, cause you can do a peanut by hand. Yeah. Sunflower seed, you have to put the whole seed in your mouth and then spit out. I don't think a peanut by hand is enjoyable. Pistachio is a bit enjoyable. Yeah. But even then, it's work. And I don't want to work.

No, that's true. You just want to bang on your crazy fucking whatever kind of drums you can get your hands on. Or sticks. Yeah. Yeah. Weird. I don Yeah. Weird. I don't even know. Where is this Five Guys?

It's on Robson Street. I want to say. Oh, what's the one? Nah. But like. Not quite Granville. By not quite Granville. But like.

So a place like that opens here. Seymour. What's the, what's the, you know, like, what's the gimmick of it? Like, why is that, why are they here? Like, we have hamburger places here. Yeah, but there are people, there's a, there is a culture of like,

you know. Like, I love Five Guys. There's like regional ones too, I think. Like, the In-N-Out people, oh, you've got to go to In-N-Out. Oh, nothing's better than In-N-Out. It's fine. It's fine. Yeah. It's all fine.

They're all better. And then there's like Sonic or is that the same as Carl's Jr.? Yeah. And then in other places, there's other things. Yeah. Steak and Shake. I think, yeah, I think guys is a like a regional thing which seems weird because usually it goes everywhere in america before it goes anywhere in canada yeah

and it's just like i don't know it's weird it's not a fat burger yeah that like that's the other like there's nothing it's not like it's the only burger that's in a taco shell like it's not like a new twist it's just a burger place yeah we have taco shell. It's not like a new twist. It's just a burger place. Yeah. We have that. We have that in Canada. Got Harvey's. Yeah.

Got it covered. It's fine. But shouldn't every place have some sort of twist on it? No, I mean... Like our burgers are only made by whores. No, you... Come to Whore Burger. burger yeah it's very expensive it's very expensive but you know what you get what you pay for yeah yeah we test our horse yeah we test them for health we test them

for reflexes think fast yeah yeah they have to do a a test with like we put electrodes on their head and they gotta tap a button when they see a dot on a screen um but you don't need you don't need a gimmick you just need to think your burgers are better than everyone else but i thought that was the whole thing like we've already figured out the hamburger. But we haven't. Like, people, like. You don't think so? I think it's like, we've, ours is better. You think we've figured out the burger.

Uh-uh. We've figured out the burger. Oh, it's like every region thinks, like, you guys don't know burgers because we do ours on a grill. Yeah, yeah. We use beef. Yeah because we do ours on a grill yeah we use beef yeah we do ours raw we're and we're a raw food well see i would that would be a gimmick yeah raw burger everybody would go to that get sick and die everybody would go the first week uh-huh and then then diminishing returns the french would go well isn't there steak tartare yeah in that uh in that raw burger yeah you put an egg on it yeah rawburger.com um the burger that's the uh pink panther themed burger place the new pink pan yeah uh steve martin's a part owner silent owner yeah

well not that silent yeah he he uh voice trains all the people that drive through yeah with you say the burger and yeah everyone's got a banjo what is it that he can't he says it hamburger he can't say de burger he says he can't say i would like a hamburger right because what could be more american right than wanting a hamburger and being able to uh express that right um how about yourself yeah well there was that party uh-huh and then that was really i mean that that really set off the next day because then it's like what do you do when you're when your day hasn't technically ended like it's just like the last day just seeps into the next day. Right.

That next day is just a pile of garbage. Did your house stink the next day? Were there empty beer cans everywhere? Everywhere. Yeah. Everywhere, empty beer cans. It wasn't bad. You know what I mean?

Because it wasn't like food or anything. I think there was like snack stuff. There's going to be ants. Like garbage day cannot come fast enough. it wasn't like food or anything like there was i think there was like snack stuff there's gonna be ants like uh garbage day cannot come fast enough but yeah i feel like yeah the next day like it's like you say the the one time that the house has been clean since we've lived there and then the first thing they do is like invite everybody over and then it's not clean anyway you know and it's like it's still cleaner than pre party yeah but it's uh yeah it's weird because then that next day is very like you know like you see a movie where the culmination is at a house party yeah you very rarely see the

next day because it's very depressing the next like The next day is very like everybody's going to get up. Because Ethan Embry's about to get on a train. Exactly. You've got to leave town the day after because otherwise it's like, you've just got to sit around the house the next day. I mean, that would be the most depressing. It'd be more depressing than leaving Las Vegas or whatever.

It was just like the day after a party. Everybody's talking about the party, but you never get to see any clips of it and it's just everybody cleaning the whole time. Yeah. Ugh. Ugh. And the toilet's clogged. There's no toilet paper anywhere.

Right. You know? Was the toilet clogged? Probably. Oh, okay. I can only assume. You don't use it. You stopped using the toilet in like 2008.

I just go out in the backyard. Oh, I thought you just like used a mind trick. I don't have to go anymore. Yeah. I'm off of that. Yeah, yeah. When I wake up in the morning, my bed's always soaked. But if I'm awake, I can will myself out of anything. I can control it.

The second I fall asleep, though. But you do take a lot of naps at three in the afternoon. Yeah, I do find myself passing out from something it's yeah it's something called uh p blindness if you have too much p in your system you know how blind people are always passing out yeah yeah exactly uh so you know that was it like that whole oh if you were a cartoon your eyes never mind yeah it would be would be like little oceans with a boat sailing across my pupil. Yeah, it's like that day after the party. Like, unless you were celebrating a thing where you're like, well, at least I'm married.

Or at least we still, you know what I mean? Like, at least I graduated. Like, it was just a party. Well, I mean, it was my roommate's birthday. but it was just, he got to be, it was his birthday. You got nothing. I got nothing. I got, oh, I bought him for his birthday, I bought him a carton of eggs.

Because he likes eggs, you know? Okay, yeah. And I thought like, hey, happy birthday, is what I said. What do you get the guy who has every egg, more eggs? Oh, you get him that Gordon Ramsay tutorial. You should have got him an ostrich egg. Oh, just one egg? Yeah.

I don't know where you get ostrich. I know where I can get some camel meat in my neighborhood. I think you can maybe get an ostrich egg at Whole Foods. Do you think so? That's where they did all their shopping on Top Chef. They had to do an ostrich thing? No, they didn't have to, but someone was like, I want to impress the judges, so I'm going to get this egg I've never... This weird giant egg I know nothing about that is just filled with mucus and I don't know how to cook it.

Yeah, but I have seen the Flintstones a lot, so I assume it's the same. Just break open a giant egg and it just starts frying. Yeah, pterodactyl. Yeah, like, I didn't know that that was an option to get. I don't think it probably is. It's got to be somewhere. It's got to be ostrich egg time somewhere. Because people eat those, right?

Yeah, and those ostriches ovulate like a motherfucker. They're dropping eggs everywhere. Yeah, in the populated ostrich areas, some of the roads are just covered in eggs. You can't get from point A to point B. Yeah, it's like you're walking on eggshells. Plus, you know, because you can't bring up all these. Yeah. That's an issue with the ostriches.

You can't bring it up. Well, I mean, it's basically abortion. Sorry for going there. You can't. You also can't talk about their legs. They're very sensitive about their giant legs. Right. Yeah. Eggs and legs.

Oh, yeah. That's a burger chicken joint. It's very popular. I hope it comes to Canada. Eggs and legs. Yeah. And it's served in a pantyhose leg. Egg.

Pantyhose leg. Just in a leg of pantyhose. Yeah, and it's served in a pantyhose leg. Egg. A pantyhose leg? Just in a leg of pantyhose? Yeah. And they just whip it at you. You just catch it in one of those highlight things. Like a sock filled with oranges. At Christmas they do stockings. Yeah.

So I recommend if somebody is having a birthday, just buy them some nice, fresh farm organic eggs. Yeah, get them the food they eat the most. Yeah, right? Because you know that they're going to enjoy it. And I wrapped it up real nice. I was going to wrap all the eggs individually, but they're too... Fragile? Yeah, they're very cold.

So tape doesn't stick to eggs very well. You know, like when you're doing Easter egg stuff, they're usually room temperature eggs. When you're, when you're, no one ever wraps eggs. No one sticks tape to eggs. Really? Are you sure? Here's how you should wrap it. Tissue paper and then tie it at the top.

Ah, see, I wish I had consulted with you. Yeah. Yeah. That would have been nice. I've wrapped a few eggs. I don't, I, well, I don't think that I had tissue paper to spare because I knew that the last of our toilet paper was walking out the door with those party guests. So you saved up all your tissue paper.

Yeah, I'm using all my artisanal tissue paper that I paid a lot per square for. But per square? That's how expensive it is. It comes on a roll? It's all gold leaf. Is it two ply? Yeah. No.

Oh, no. This is like Egyptian thread count. Oh. Yeah. Very soft. Yeah. Very bad for the plumbing. I can imagine.

Yeah. Yeah. Lots of clogs. It's how I imagine Kanye West lives. Imagine what kind of toilet paper he uses. Three-ply. Do you think he even uses toilet paper? Or does he have a bidet at every place?

I would still use toilet paper. Do you think he uses toilet paper? Do you think Kanye West, in all of his crazy fanciness... I don't care if you have a champagne bidet. Oh, do you think he has a champagne bidet? I do. like a champagne bidet. Oh,

do you think he has a champagne bidet? I do. Uh, I don't know if that would, I guess it wouldn't be bad. I mean, I'd want to do it just to say that I did. I used Kanye and to get the t-shirt. I used Kanye's champagne bidet,

champagne bidet, champagne bidet. Um, yeah, I don't, I have a hard time picturing him just using toilet paper. Me too. I have a hard time picturing that as well. I have a hard time picturing a lot of people using toilet paper. No, I don't know. You know Tom Arnold?

No problem. It's true. You can really see that. Well, he was in that toilet scene in Austin Powers. That's true. Yeah. So it's like all the visuals are there yeah i have everything i need for that yeah that's true there's not as many kanye hasn't been in as many austin powers films no oh if they make another one he will probably be maybe too big for it who's ludicrous yeah ludicrous he uh uh he's an he's maybe too big for it. Ludicrous. Yeah, ludicrous.

He's an actor, right? He acted in Fast and the Furious. Was he in Crash? Yes. Yeah. Yeah. And maybe an episode of Law and Order. The one about the sex car crashes?

Yeah. Yeah. He did it with him. He played tony sex he did it with an audi how about that for a character named tony sex yeah the title character from sex car crash uh yeah um so yeah that was it you know i i got through this party and all i got was this stupid t-shirt that somebody left in my room when I was sleeping. That says, I used Kanye West champagne bidet. Stop trying to shorten it.

No, it's champagne bidet. But it's the same amount of syllables. I know, but it rolls out the tongue easier. Champagne bidet? Yeah, champagne bidet. Shapoopy. You can picture Kanye West bragging about his shapae bidet. Shapae bidet is what Tony Shalhoub's brother invented.

Oh, man. Well, I guess maybe we should move on to overheards. Fine. Life can be fun. Don't get carried away. You gotta do the things you don't want to do to get through the day. You gotta shine your shoes. You gotta sweep the floor. You gotta do the things you don't wanna do to get through the day. You gotta shine your shoes, you gotta sweep the floor, you gotta clean your house, you gotta do some more. Take care of business.

That music, of course, means it's not time for overheards just yet. Not quite. But it means we're gonna do a little bit of business. This week, the show has been graciously sponsored by the good folks at Hulu Plus. Now, if you've tried Hulu.com, we want to tell you about Hulu Plus. So Hulu Plus, only $7.99 a month. And that's like for everything. It says you can catch up on shows, movies. You can binge watch entire seasons, entire series.

It lets you watch thousands of hit shows anytime, anywhere, like on your TV, on your devices, on your – My smartphone? Yeah, yeah, yeah, your smartphone. Any device. Oh, sure. Yeah, like – On my blender? Pepper grinder.

Yeah. Now, if you want to try Hulu Plus for a couple of weeks free before you jump in on this $7.99 investment, you can go to huluplus.com forward slash stop. And that stop lets them know that you listen to us. Yeah. So the more you do it, the more kickbacks we get from Hulu Plus. Yeah, the more you do it. So just keep going there, getting free trials. Yeah, keep signing up with different credit cards.

So, yeah, it's a special thanks to them. Like you say, you can binge watch any time. The Revolutionary Times. Elizabethan Times. The Golden Era. Yeah, you want to go back days Times. Yeah. The Golden Era. Yeah, you want to go back. Days of yore.

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and NPR. Overheard. So, Overheard. Now, Graham, before we move on to Overheard, it's time for my favorite segment. Oh. Hulk Hogan News. Well, you know what?

We did actually have a thing. I got to call it up. But a bumper sent in a really great photo. Now, before we get to Hulk Hogan News, it's time for my favorite segment on the show, overheards. Yeah. Overheards is like when you overhear stuff. Okay. up i can't find it i can't find this uh oh well we had a good uh run absolutely um do you think so we're recording this july 22nd do you think by the time you get back hulk hogan will have done anything or be dead by his own hand? I don't have any doubt in my mind that he will have done something

great, because I feel like it's been a pretty quiet season, and I think he's gonna really let the summer go out with a bang. He's gonna do something on Labor Day. He's gonna shake up the whole... Oh, yeah. If anyone out there has a picture of Hulk Hogan DJing,

please send it to us. Also, out there has a picture of hulk hogan djing uh please send it to us also if you have a picture of hulk hogan uh with his face under his mustache and then on and on like that please send that what would you call that a recursive sure uh i can't find this picture that's fine um what's the other one people always send us oh um well the dj one and the the that hogan one that once in a while they'll send one that i've never seen which is uh so that's why i don't i don't discourage the sending in of hogan uh i do hogan paraphernalia and mania um but yeah you don't let's make one thing clear the reason you don't discourage that is because you want me to be the bad guy yeah you want me to be the heel i yeah i want to be the face and uh also i just don't want to be you know missing out on i don't want to miss

the thing i'm very much like steven like Steven Tyler. Didn't write that song. But you know what the thing is? He sang it. Sang it better than anyone. And he was singing about, you know, making sure that he saw his favorite wrestler's moment. He was a King Harley race fan. When it was written, it was written about Andre the Giant. But when he sings it, you can tell.

He's singing about Ric Flair. Yeah, Steven Tyler's a Ric Flair guy there. I said it. When I sing it at karaoke, I'm talking about Ricky the Dragon Steamboat. That's why this song is so dear to all of us. Yeah, it's also why you come out in that crazy lizard costume and do the fire breathing. That's like, wasn't that his thing? Didn he like breathe the fire i don't know he was very fat i really liked ricky the dragon steamboat but i don't remember that he wore a dragon costume i

think i just thought he was handsome yeah oh yeah oh no he wore a cool headband i thought that was great uh like the one the kind you tie oh yeah yeah um one of the only uh like asian wrestlers at the time yeah i'm not sure of his actual you know he might have been hawaiian yeah there's a i don't want to speculate on yeah i mean yokozuna was hawaiian yeah and um but he like fuji yakumura who was then mr fuji he was a wrestler previous to be a manager and then ricky the dragon steve but there wasn't anybody else like when during that era there i don't recall there being any other chinese or japanese i'm looking up ricky the dragon steamboat right now wait dirty knees i, Dirty Knees. I was hoping that would go by without you saying that, but... Oh, look at these.

Oh, no. His real name, Richard Steamboat. Yeah, Richard. His middle name, not the dragon, just dragon. I believe it says here he grew up in New York State or Florida. It's Wikipedia. You know what's weird? Born in West Point, New York.

Billed from Honolulu, Hawaii. Oh. Trained by the Iron Sheik. Ricky Steamboat doesn't necessarily lend itself to also having the name The Dragon. Yeah. Ricky The Dragon Steamboat. He's like, I got to jazz up. Do you want to know his other ring names?

Oh, yeah. According to Wikipedia. Sam Steamboat Jr. That's when he did like a kind of like a Buster Keaton. He was the silent film star wrestler? Yeah, he was a cartoon mouse. The Dragon. Okay, easy. Richard Blood.

Richard Blood? And Dick Blood. Oh, nuts. Yeah, sorry. Dick blood. Dick blood. We have a dick blood on the phone for you. And why are you making an appointment with the doctor?

Let's just say I have a case of Ricky the Dragon Steamboat. That's like a dumb Dracula trying to think of a name like they're like what's your name uh uh blood dick blood looking around the room for things yeah um do you think uh dracula gets a lot of mosquitoes uh i think he and mosquitoes have a gentleman's greed. Oh, okay, yeah. Yeah. Like, if I'm going in, you guys can also pile in.

That's why people don't like Dracula's as much as they used to, because... All the mosquito bites. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, exactly. It's very like being in New Orleans. It's just like,

ugh, too many. Yeah, I wonder if... I don't watch True Blood. No. But I wonder if that is... Because it takes place in the South. Yeah. I wonder if that is, because it takes place in the South. Yeah.

I wonder if that's a recurring theme, like, oh, a lot of biters out tonight. Yeah. The big guy. Oh, I wonder if, do Draculas get drawn into the same types of things that mosquitoes, the zappers? Like, are they attracted to those lights? I guess they don't like light. That's why they're out in the nighttime.

Hmm. But I've never seen that trope used in a movie and why not they've made enough dracula movies that i assume like that would have come up like dracula's would flock to those things that they have on the porch and then you would wake up and there would be a bunch of dracula's dead dracula's but they would just turn into dust in the morning, right? Because Draculas just turn into dust when the sun comes up. They party when the sun goes down. And they vanish when the sun comes up. They're kind of like Kesha that way. James pushed the microphone away. It's a good performance.

Yeah, I like Kesha's plural. Like I'm used to Dracula's plural, but... Kesha's? Yeah, Draculas are a I like Kesha's plural. Like, I'm used to Dracula's plural, but... Kesha's? Yeah, Dracula's are a lot like Kesha's. Yeah. They're kind of like Kesha's, like, our modern version of her. True glitter, that's her. I wouldn't be surprised if she slept in something like a coffin.

Yeah, well, she did have sex with a ghost. Oh, yeah, I forgot. Good for her. Yeah, you go for her yeah consensual right well i mean it wasn't i guess the ghost didn't ask but she didn't say yeah i don't know who made the first move but i as far as i know like she she seems cool with it i don't know if the ghost is cool with it oh you think maybe the ghost like maybe she took advantage of the ghost yeah i think it was probably consensual either way think maybe the ghost, like maybe she took advantage of the ghost. Yeah, I think it was probably consensual either way, but maybe the ghost regrets it. Do you think after a show... I think the ghost has a case of dick blood.

Do you think after a show, there's fans who want to meet her, and then she's like, she tells her roadie, like, pick out a nice ghost for me. Yeah. Find me a good ghost and bring it backstage i saw a ghost up in the rafters yeah oh look at the size of that guy's chains uh i like that one ghost that was wearing the bowler hat he looked tough yeah oh i want something victorian tonight bring me like a slimer if you can find a slimer oh man she's she's great she's probably like a lot of fun to have at a house party yeah i mean you'd wake up there'd be glitter fucking everywhere just glitter and it would

just you know i don't know what do you think she smells like barbecue sauce that's a good one yeah yeah uh dirt dirt she smells probably like uh like the calgary stampede like a little dirt a little bit like uh mini donuts yeah yeah yeah yeah and then fun yeah it smells like fun she just yeah always smells like a day after a carnival you know yeah just like a mishmash. For better or worse. Yeah, exactly. But that's why they have most of the meetings at their music label outside. They're like, oh, it's such a nice day. We'll have our Kesha meeting outside. And she's cool with it. Oh, yeah. She's not wearing shoes.

She hasn't caught on to that, though. Like, she hasn't caught on to why they're having the meetings outside. No, yeah. She just knows that she can bring her, like, fleet of rabbits or whatever she has. Whatever she's into that week. Yeah, she's great. I can bring my wolf and let it run around the MGM parking lot. MGM?

Is that who she signed with? Is that what studio she's in? Metro Goldman Mayor. That's why at the beginning of all her songs there's a lion roaring. She is one of their major players. No, she signed with MTM. Mary Tyler Moore's label. Yeah, with the cat.

At the end of every song, she throws her hat. Now it is time for overheards. Dave, do you want to lead it off? Okay. My overheard this week is not my own. Uh-oh. It is from my wife, Abby. She took a picture of a lady who was on the- To make it last longer.

Of a lady on the bus who had a tattoo, and it was an arm tattoo, and it's summertime, so women be sleeveless. Oh, yeah. I saw a lady at the post office had tattoos on all of her legs and arms. This is an octopus. She had a lot of legs and arms. That used to be a thing that like, you could be a freak in a circus freak show if you had enough tattoos.

Yeah. Now it's like, you can be, uh, uh, you know, you can work, you know,

then the electrical field. Like you can work in an electrical field i think i meant like in the field of electricians okay but i like the idea of you can work in an electrical field because you have special talents and like you can you're made you can be like electro yeah yeah you're you won't get zapped because you you you're this freak with tattoos yeah yeah it makes sense stands to reason if you had like some anti-magnetic uh uh you know character or anti-magnetic personality quality um would it would you be able to get tattoos? Is there anything? I don't know. I don't know nothing.

I don't know. I don't think there's any metals in tattoos. Yeah. I don't think, like, a magneto could pull your tattoos off of you. But is the needle not magnetic? Or not metal? Well, I know that you have to be facing north whenever you get a tattoo. Otherwise, it's...

It's a movie. Yeah. Otherwise, you'll feel how painful it is the rob reiner rob reiner yeah uh it was a movie that uh it's what uh kim and kanye named their kid after so north is the name of the kid i I know things. I'm very hip. Yeah, absolutely. Tragically so.

Yeah. So anyway, this woman on the bus that I was not on, she is sleeveless. Abby said she was like a 50-year-old woman. Oh, wow. Had a little rose tattoo on her arm and underneath just one word don't oh wow what do you think that's a reminder of i don't know hmm don't do you think like originally it was a picture of rose and it was for husband dawn and then oh yeah like she did a wino forever yeah but the other way around because don't doesn't really no mean anything

it might have been dawn like that's a fun um fun fix it's a fun fix yeah it's like don't yeah just across through the yeah she's allergic a 50 year old lady with a tattoo i'm guessing that tattoo's been with her for more than a decade. Like, that's it. Like, she didn't recently get a tattoo. People get tattoos at all ages. Yeah, it is an all-ages thing. People get tattoos.

All-ages tattoo parlor. Oh, yeah. I mean, generally above 18. Yeah. But not necessarily. No. And also, I don't know. I saw a guy at the, was it Subway the other day?

And he had the old school-y like one color tattoos. And you could tell like, this guy's got a record. Yeah. Like they weren't naval. They were definitely like. They were prison. Prison. Yeah.

Or gang. Gang affiliate. But he was too old. Do you think anyone's ever gone asking for a navel tattoo and the person accidentally did it on their belly button because they thought that's what they meant? Yeah. Okay, good. Absolutely. And they made it like a...

They made it navel, like it was a boat. But the cannon... That's really, really really small their belly button is a cannonball well that would be a good tattoo if you had a real audi yeah uh or you know yeah or or the word audi underneath your audi belly button and one of your uh the audi logo is four circles so it could be one of the uh that's fun someone get that tattoo yeah yeah somebody get that tattoo or get your dumb friend to get it oh get your dumb friend is so dumb yeah but you like him because he's honest yeah but he's not smart enough to lie but sometimes you need him

to lie yeah but that's not when you want to be hanging around with them you want to be hanging around with them when you want to go do something dumb but not when you need to cover something up yeah when you want to go do something dumb but pure of heart yeah like streaking yeah it's true yeah you know i'm surprised that that kind of like victimless crime yeah i was surprised it never i guess uh like uh violent uh charitable giving like throwing money in somebody's face if you like yeah i guess i'm trying to think of like what are other victimless crimes um you know i think anything in the uh you know like graffiti joyful graffiti yeah also like drinking outdoors feels like a pretty victimless crime sure yeah you know like it's like people drink indoors and on patios so drinking outdoors doesn't seem like much of a i feel like that's more of a misdemeanor yeah yeah or parking violation

uh you know there's got to be you know stuff like you know bylaws like not walking on the grass and stuff like that. Pretty victimless. Yeah. I mean, except if you take care of that grass. Do not feed the bears. Exactly. Yeah, the bears love it.

Yeah, the bears love it. You love doing it. Yeah. Are they going to die? Yeah. But what a way to go up. Yeah, with a sandwich in their belly. Yeah, victimless.

their belly yeah victimless um my uh overheard uh comes courtesy of uh sitting on the bus actually uh going between your house party and the house party at my place uh there were two ladies when i got on the bus like i thought that you know sometimes you'll get on a train or a bus and you'll be like this is a real party train. This is a real party bus. Everybody on here has been drinking and they're having fun. It's usually in the evening. Yeah. And that's what I thought I was getting on. But it turns out it was just these two ladies.

Everybody else on the bus hated them. Oh. So I misinterpreted what was happening at first. But then I was like, oh, these two ladies are offensive. And I looked around. They were offensive because every other word was swears, and they were very drunk. And there were no kids on the bus, so it was okay. It was like, we're all adults.

We can handle these two horrible people. I felt like I would have said something if there was a kid. Oh, really? Yeah. I mean, because it was just two obnoxious drunk ladies. Yeah, but you're saying something's not going to accomplish anything? Well, I mean, maybe. I know these ladies.

Yeah, that's true. Yeah, you know these ladies better than I do. Yeah. So they were sitting in Vancouver. And I don't know if this style of bus exists anywhere else. I've never seen this anywhere else. But we have these accordion buses. Yeah.

And in the accordion part, there's these two- If people don't know, it's basically two buses long. Yes. And in the middle, it looks like an accordion from the outside. Yeah, and it can go around corners. Yeah, it makes it so this super long bus can turn corners. And in the accordion part, there's these two independent chairs. That I can't sit in because I get motion sick.

They're very weird. They look like little thrones. And they're the silliest chairs. And you have to sit and stare right across at the person. There's no windows to look at. Yeah, everyone, like, they're the least desirable chairs on the bus and like yeah people would rather stand yeah absolutely and just leave them open very often you will see them not occupied because they're so weird to sit in but they were sitting in those

across from each other so yelling their whole conversation at each other in the accordion part of the bus yeah and i hope it was a conversation about polka and they were going to some club and um the one girl was they were going from my house to your house and they were going to a club you can picture where this club is oof yeah like not nice and the cover was $5 that they were hashing it out over. I guess. I don't know what that. Is that low? $5 cover on a Friday or a Saturday night? Low. Okay.

And it's, you know, it's that hotel that's on the ring. Oh, okay. It's called like the hippo. It's called the hippos, I think. Yeah. Yeah, we're going to go hang out at Hippos. So they were going to Hippos. And the one girl was corresponding with her friend on the phone, and she was saying, oh, what?

Oh, fuck, there's a $5 cover. And then her friend says, fuck. And then she says, fuck, are we going to gonna pay five dollars and then the other lady says fuck yeah we gotta show some class so yeah they get it yeah they get it i didn't think women paid cover uh these two okay they might have had to pay double cover yeah because they're like, even at hippos. This is a classy joint named after the noble hippopotamus. Yeah, I've never been in there. I've been past it many times. I think it's based on these two ladies.

Did they have bowling at one point? There used to be a pool hall like two blocks up from it. But yes, probably. one point uh there was used to be a pool hall like two blocks up from it but yes probably yeah like it it's uh it's been a couple different things but it's in the hotel on a road in the middle of nowhere right i mean yeah no it's it's it's like like on the way to the airport but far from the airport yeah but it's not like it's not a destination except for these two ladies but i feel like it would be a great place to go get like uh you know shanked punched yeah yeah yeah or just called things you know it's a good place to like um it it's warehouse adjacent there's plenty of

warehouses oh yeah it would be a great place to like do a pre-meeting for your fight club yeah like we're gonna meet at hippos we're all gonna have uh jalapeno poppers we're gonna decide Oh, yeah, it would be a great place to, like, do a pre-meeting for your fight club. Yeah. Like, we're going to meet at Hippo's. We're all going to have jalapeno poppers. We're going to decide on the rules of this fight club. Because I don't think the first two, I think they're really mean. And they're also, I don't like this not telling anybody because it's hurting our attendance. The first two.

Oh, yeah. Oh, isn't the first rule, second rule? Oh, the third rule is you have to fight. No, the first rule of Fight Club is you don't talk about fight. Did I say fight rule? No, Fight Club. First rule of Fight Club, no taco Fight Club. Don't bring tacos to Fight Club.

No speaky Fight Club. Yeah. Second rule, no hobbler Fight Club. Right. Third rule. If it'sler fight club. Right. Third rule. If it's your first night, don't you? No, no. I think that's like if someone goes limp or taps out, it's over. One of the rules is no belts, no shirt, no shoes, no service.

Oh, yeah, yeah. And then the fifth rule is if it's your first night, you fight free. Kids fight free. Yeah, if it's your birthday, you get a free sundae. Smashed in your face. I saw two dudes at the coffee shop near my house pulling like, just speaking of like no shirt, no shoes, like pulling a total Spicoli today. They just like both had board shorts and fanny packs and that was it. Today, they both had board shorts and fanny packs, and that was it.

And the ladies, they walked out, and the two ladies were talking, like the ladies behind the counter. They were like, what are we going to do? He doesn't have a shirt in that fanny pack. Or shoes. Yeah. They had money in the fanny pack. We don't have a sign anywhere that says they can't be here. Yeah, there's fewer and fewer of those signs well i think there's more and more of an assumption

that they don't need to post you're wrong they are they are increasingly yeah yeah people are more shoeless than ever yeah more shoeless and shirtless i blame joe jackson um we also have overheard yeah sent it to funny if his name was shirtless joe jackson get out of here that's what the whole book is about he can't get a hamburger yeah yeah they threw eight men out on it on account of his uh shirtless shirtless joe jackson then then when you say Joe Jackson, I think of Judge Joe Brown. So I'm thinking of like a guy. There was a singer named Joe Jackson, too. Yeah, white guy, though.

Yeah. Right? From a time when I think he was like the last unattractive singer. Oh, what? There's plenty of unattractive singers right now. Name one. Tom York. What?

What? right now i name one tom york what um you know he's pretty pretty no no no no he's got a weird eye yeah i mean in a good way but the rest of them's fine he's got one beautiful eye that's that would be a funny thing to put on a dating profile like i've got one beautiful yeah but it's beautiful yeah it almost compensates for the other well i mean it does i mean it's way more beautiful than it all four of our eyes put together into a giant eye i don't i don't think there's anything that could possibly be more beautiful than that yeah um no excuse You okay there? I'm all right. Reflux? A little bit.

Oh, yeah. That drinking that beer on Saturday did not take. Oh, yeah. Next day felt horrible. How many did you have? Two? Three, because I had one at the house party. Okay.

Graham, as a housewarming present, bought a six-pack of beers for me. We called this a housewarming party, but we've been here since November. We just haven't had anyone over. But I think you bought the beers because they came with cufflinks. I just scanned to see. I was trying to find the funniest beer, and that one was like the first one I saw. I was like, well, no contest, unless there's a beer that comes with a bow tie. And there weren't.

Now, we have overheards that have been sent in to us from listeners all over the world. If you want to be one of them, you can send it in to spy at maximumfun.org. This first one comes from JCF. Oh, JC is the first name. F is the last initial. From Baltimore. I was at a festival in a local park where two lady acrobats were performing in a field. I was standing next to a small kid behind the performance.

At one point, the performance stood back to back, and then one lifted the other on her back, giving the kid and I a pretty good view of their butts. Ooh, the kid said, double barf. Yep. Yep. Where were we? Was that Toronto? Where we learned what butts were like? No, it was like a busker festival.

Yeah. Yeah. It felt like there was a lot of acrobat butts that I saw that week. Yeah, there was. That was, yeah. It was definitely a busker festival. Yeah. And it was obnoxious.

And it was. But it was obnoxious. But during the day, it was like the only place to get something to eat because all the restaurants were closed. And there were food trucks there and stuff and like shave ice. And that's all I had for lunch. But it was weird because it was a busker festival. But they had that Cirque du Soleil thing where a giant ribbon is suspended from the ceiling.

She makes me so nervous. And someone was spinning around on it but like that's not busking like you can't go anywhere and set up your 40 foot ribbon yeah like just out in front of a liquor store yeah exactly um yeah that like because there was a cirque du soleil performer that fell during a performance just like in the last couple of months oh and died yes and but that that's the only thing like I don't find watching that stuff enjoyable because I find it like very like I know that they're professionals and I know that they're like that's what they're trying to do but it's just nerve-wracking yeah I just I just don't because you know like I know that's as good as the circus gets.

Yeah. That's as like trained and above board as things. Yeah. I mean, it's like that's better than clowns. That's better than animals being tormented. Yes. Well, and that's like I remember when I was a kid, we would go to like an animals being tormented is. Don't get me wrong.

I love it. we would go to like when animals being tormented is don't get me wrong I love them we used to go to the shrine shrine circus

okay and they would have like the flying acrobats yeah in the tiny cars those and you know

I saw so many people die in those every year we'd go to the circus watch people die but the the the trapeze. Terrifying. Terrifying.

Fucking terrifying. Like, you know, they would say, like, now without a net. And you're like, no, put the net back up. I get no thrill from that. Some people do, and they're weird. Yeah. Now without a net, and then you can hear people getting boners. Bye, aye, aye. Bye, getting boners. Bye-bye.

Bye-bye. Bye-bye. That's the sound of a boner. Yeah, yeah. When I buy a pair of swim trunks, I get them without a net. Also, when I watch Frankie Avalon movies, I watch them without a net. Yeah, when he went solo. I gotcha.

Now this next one comes from Christine W. From Indiana. At a wedding I attended a few weeks ago, one of the older guests was dancing particularly well. After one of the songs ended, a friend of mine tapped him on the shoulder and told him he was a great dancer. He replied, thanks.

I grew up without parents. You could dance all night. Yeah, exactly. I don't have a curfew. Yeah, that's why all the best dancers are foster kids. Yeah, Fred Astaire, Annie Oakley, MC Hammer. Robin, the Swedish lady. Robin from Batman and Robin. Robin Fick. there uh annie oakley uh-huh mc hammer uh robin yeah the swedish lady um robin from batman and robin robin thick didn't have a dad yeah that's not a famous one anyway um yeah robin thick

someone did a mash-up of uh that uh blurred lines song uh that's the Robin Thicke. Yeah, his big hit. His big hit, which is about a girl not saying no explicitly, and so him having sex with her, basically. Yeah. That's the gist of the... Song of the Summer. Song of the Summer. Someone did a mashup of that and the Growing Pains theme, and they just put Alan Thicke's face in. It's pretty funny. Oh, wow. I don't think Alan Thicke wrote the Growing Pains theme, and they just put Alan Pick's face in. It's pretty funny.

Oh, wow. I don't think Alan Pick wrote the Growing Pains theme. But did he sing it? I don't think so. He wrote Different Strokes and Facts of Life. Yeah, that's true. He's a weird... He'll be at the Canadian Comedy Awards this year.

He was at it last year. Yeah. He hosted. at the Canadian Comedy Awards this year. He was at it last year. Yeah. He hosted. He came out and did his song from the, like, the aerobics championship. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

He came out and did it, and there was a bunch of dancers. That was really great. I was like, hey, here's a guy who kind of gets it, you know? He, like, he knows that that was, like, a weird thing to do. And, but, yeah, it's weird weird because like, I don't know. Those guys, they're not real to me. Alan Thicke? Yeah, like he was on Growing Pain.

Like if I met Reginald Val Johnson, my head would just explode. Or if I met Uncle Phil. But they're bored. Like they're not real, but they're... Yeah, they gotta do something. Yeah, but they're more like us than you think, because they're not businessmen. They're creative guys who had a great job for 10 years that paid for the next 40 years. Yeah, which is great.

We should all be so Uncle Phil. Of course. Yeah. It's, yeah, man course yeah it's uh uh yeah man but it's weird like if you met one of them like i remember meeting like bob saget and i was like oh this is weird this feels weird because like i was a kid you were like a television dad do you know what i mean yeah yeah yeah like it's not just like a guy from tv it's like a father figure yeah an authority yeah yeah real authority i was like oh this guy could ground me and quick.

Or he could put a voice over my videos. This last one, last overheard, comes from Sarah from right here in Vancouver. I work at a summer camp with kids who are roughly 9 to 12 years old. Like a rough. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like a gang kid. Yeah, newsies. Tiny little 9-year-old gang kids.

Today I overheard two boys talking and their conversation went as follows. Older boy, I want to get a t-shirt that says keep calm and swag on. Younger boy, what is swag? Several children pipe in with swag definitions. At this point, older boy says, you'll just know what it is when you're in grade seven. Right? When you meet swag, you'll just know. What is swag?

I have no idea. Chains. That's what I thought. Chains and goblets and such. Goblets. Chains and goblets. I think Goblets? Chains and goblets. I think you might be mistaking swag for crunk. Oh, yes, I am, actually.

I know Justin Bieber, when he, like, after he turned 18, he did an interview where he referred to himself. Now that he's 18, he said, I'm a swaggy adult. I'm a swaggy adult. So, but is swag just like clothes, stuff? Stuff that you have? I mean, stuff we all get. Um, but like swag, like swag is, I understood it. No, swag is if you get stuff in a prize bag.

Or like if you belong to a festival. That's why Justin Bieber and Jay-Z, they always wear like the shirt from the local pot store. They always are carrying around smoked salmon from their trip to Vancouver from a swag bag.

But is that where swag... I wonder. Yeah, I think that's where it came from. I think we should take back swag. Yeah. Yeah, we should have rallies. Take back the swag march. There's, I've heard... Oh, Jay-Z by the way, invented swag swag he invented the word swag

according to the his lyric i invented swag oh well i am not gonna argue him on that not to his face behind his back yeah yeah uh there are uh these things that i've never been in one but i've heard that they exist at like fancy festivals called gifting suites. Yes. They would have them not at, I guess, like a Cannes festival. Yeah, or Sundance. But like at the Oscars and award shows. Yeah. And you go in a hotel room.

There was a Sopranos episode with, I think, Ben Kingsley or was it Lauren Bacall? It's one of those. One of the greats. It was when they were making that movie Cleaver. Yeah. Oh yeah. Right. And they, yeah.

Like every company that wants to give away stuff to celebrities sets up a table and, and you just go and you just pick out what you want. There's watches and there's iPods and shoes. I don't, I mean, I don't know what you have to like it sounds great sounds like uh sounds like a real fun time yeah but it's for people who can now afford everything yeah but

i feel like there's got to be a couple you know like guys like sugar man who are in there you know oh yeah like who are in there for the they're're like the hit of the festival. Well, I'm sure your first gifting suite is great. You never forget. Yeah. And then everyone after is like, I don't know. You're comparing it to that first time. Yeah, exactly. You're chasing the swaggin'.

Oh, man. Let's just shut her up this podcast. Well, we can't quite do that. In addition to overheards that are written in, we also accept your phone calls if you want to call us. Do it at 206-339-8328, like these people have. Ricky the Swag and Dreamboat. Hello, show. I have a overheard when I was in

junior high I well oh nuts well it was a long time ago he called back I want to hear part 2 I mean we don't have to

no no I want to hear it it's really bad is it really? I mean, we don't have to. No, no, I want to hear it. It's really bad. Is it really? No, it's fine. Okay. I mean, well, you know what? I'm building it up.

Yeah, I shouldn't build it up at all. No, don't build it up. Here's part two. Hello, show. I'll try this again. I have an overheard. When I was in junior high, I was in PE. They were playing baseball, and I was sitting on the sides because God knows I can't play baseball.

And there was a group of girls sitting next to me, and I overheard a conversation that was very awkward for me. The girls were talking about menstruation, The girls were talking about menstruation. And one of them said that her neighbor had a device that she showed her. And that when you kneel on it, it cleans you. And that has horrified me for years. And I understand it.

Yeah. Okay, I understand. Yeah. Okay, bye. You know what that device is called? Shippibide. Yeah. Yeah. I think the first time you hear a lot of those things, it's just like, it's all a horror show. Boy stuff, girl stuff.

All of it. of it adulthood is a nightmare yeah well even the other night uh well no everybody was talking about like when you turn 35 you gotta go get like um uh the prostate yeah finger in your butt i always heard 40 uh it's apparently it's it's been uh updated to 35 which i did not know. Because everything else has gone the other way. Like 50 is the new 40. So now you have to wait until you're 50. Yeah, but your prostate doesn't know that. Oh, boy.

Prostate's always 10 years behind. Sure. Prostate still thinks it's 2003. It's listening to Sum 41. I love those guys. Yeah, yeah. Canada's best. I went on a YouTube voyage of some old rap rock tunes.

I was surprised how many of the lyrics I have committed to memory. What? Do you mean rap rock? Do you mean like nu metal or like some 41? Like Limp Bizkit. Limp Bizkit. That's a nu metal. I know two songs start to finish

of limp biscuit which ones uh nookie hey like a chump hey um and then the um the the one that had like all the cameos in the video smash your face oh break stuff break stuff yeah break stuff and i was like what i didn't i didn't have this album why do i know this all the lyrics in this but it was just in yeah it was television and radio just in the ether it was this doesn't happen anymore but no not as much although that katie perry song was on the other day i was in the diner and i was like wow I know all the lyrics to this. I don't own that. What we would do, before TVs had DVRs or listings on the screen, every commercial break, you're watching something else.

Go back to Much Music and let's watch music videos. It's true. I don't like this one. Let's see what's on music plus and i forgot too that there was a guy in limp biscuit that always wore a costume oh yeah west bentley yeah i forgot that that was a there was a lot going on in the yeah they were a uh they were a threat man they really were it's funny because the only reason i was doing is because uh fred durst did like an ask me anything oh on reddit and you wanted a good question to impress him well somebody asked him like why did you name your band that and they were like i don't know i

just like the way it sounded we didn't think he says he's like yeah we didn't think we were ever going to be famous yeah it's like who gives a shit what we named the band I was like yeah that's a reasonable thing for those guys to think yeah and then they I don't know how they became famous but they were like they weren't and then that one song came out and then we had to we just had them for their first song the George Michael cover yeah that was their first hit and it's the whole video is them they were i guess they were on a tour the corn well yeah was it like anger management or family values yeah i watched the video last night yeah the family values tour and uh but you know like why was

corn popular uh because they already had like a lot of products that corn was already. Yeah, yeah. It was the corn lobby. Right, Monsanto. Yeah, exactly. So that explains that a little bit. What if that does explain that? I think it is as reasonable an explanation as any. Because corn was around for years and years.

Like they were around, I'm pretty sure of this, like they were around for like 10 years before they became popular. Yeah, I played guitar in my teen years and guitar magazines get terrible music before the mainstream culture. Yeah. If you want to know what terrible music you're going to be listening to in 10 years, pick up a guitar magazine. Yeah, yeah, it's a good call um but they were around for a long time and then they were popular which was weird because it was like uh but i don't know what it was that they did became popular but then yeah it was weird watching that limp biscuit it was like oh there was like a character in this band who like you know has like dark eyes.

Sometimes he would wear those contact lenses. Sometimes he would, you know, wear a monkey suit. Yeah. And then the rest of the guys are just like, they probably just look like a bunch of dads now. I think their DJ. Yeah. Was the guy, he was in Jump Around House of Pain.

I want it noted when you said Jump Around and House of Pain, you made like a puppet motion with your head. I meant to do a DJ motion. You're doing like a Kermit the Frog. Yeah.

You're like, you know, House of Pain. One of our best puppet bands. Yeah. All right. Here's your next phone call. How come there isn't a puppet band? There is one. Oh, there's a Canadian one.

What are they called? Feltworth. And they're like, I think they have members of Sloan in them. I'm going to check that out. That's a must Google. Yeah. Hey, Dave Graham and possible guests. This is Joel from Lafayette, Louisiana, with an overseen.

A crow just flew right in front of my car, carrying a full slice of pepperoni pizza. Oh, yeah. You go, crow. Yeah. You crow girl. I like it a crow a crow that knows what it wants yeah that's it that's right yeah gets results the first step in getting what you want is knowing what you want yeah and a crow always wants a full slice of pepperoni i think um you know a lot of you guys out there getting friend zoned uh. Just have the confidence of that crow.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just think of the girl you like. Yeah. Think of the girl you like and walk past her with a slice of pizza in your mouth. You know what? If it doesn't work, at least you get to eat that piece of pizza. Exactly. Yeah.

It's the game, according to the game that you get free with your extra large Pizza Hut pickup. You get a copy of the game. Yeah, but for pizza lovers. Oh, they should make it. Yeah, like chicken soup for the single mom. They should make a game version for every kind of person. Yeah, the pizza lover's guide to getting laid. Close. Close.

Close. Right ballpark. Speaking of fast food, do you know that they're opening KFCs without the Colonel? They're doing away like that. They're just trying to phase out the Colonel. Huh. It's weird, right? I guess.

Is it weird that they've kept the Colonel this long? It's weird that after he died, they made him like a hip-hop colonel. That's true. Didn't they make him like a cartoon? Yeah, I have a figurine that I gave away of him. He's listening to an iPod and he's doing a funky dance. Yeah, funky colonel. He's doing the funky colonel.

Yeah, I guess it's more weird that they kept the colonel as a thing. Yeah, his face was on everything. So I think they're taking a reasonable amount of time to phase him out, but they should probably just phase out the whole restaurant. Yeah, that's the next step. They're just going to phase out chicken and then the restaurants. Yeah. They're going to shutter them like blockbuster videos. They're just gonna leave them there yeah dotting the landscape but uh you'll just wonder how come i can't get a bucket of chicken anymore and you won't you just

won't be able to here's your final phone call hey dave graham impossible guest this is kip from norman oklahoma i was at the store today and I came around the corner to leave, and I heard a guy on his cell phone say the exact phrase. No, no. That's the great news about it. They can't extradite me until after the surgery. Yeah. The lawyer said they probably can't even arrest me

at this point. It's great news. It easily gives me another month to figure out what I'm going to do. Thanks for the show, guys. Yeah, I guess. It's like figuring out a loophole

in death row. They can't put you on death row as long as you've got the flu. Oh, yeah. I think there was a guy at maybe Washington State who was sentenced to be hanged, but he was so fat they said his head would pop off. And they were like, that would be cool and unusual.

Jesus! What? That can't be a real story. Is that real? Yeah. Oh, man. And so what did they do? They were like, well, we got to make him lose weight.

We got to pick another execution style. I guess they picked... I wonder, do different states do like, oh, yeah, this is the electric chair state. We only do electric chair. It's my understanding, and it could be way off on this, that if you get the death sentence that you were allowed to choose, you was there was you could be death by chocolate yeah exactly uh you know killed with kindness but like that you maybe i'm way off on that but i thought that there maybe there's certain states where you're allowed to pick but there was a documentary called Mr. Death and I know that they referenced that

that some guys wanted hanging as opposed to an electric chair or of shooting yeah oh yeah firing squad yeah I think that is the quickest?

firing squad? yeah it's probably the most lead up of any pomp and circumstance yeah people telling you to raise your rifles firing squad? Yeah. Yeah, it's probably the most lead-up of any. It's a lot of pomp and circumstance. Yeah, people telling you to raise your rifles. Yeah, having cigarettes, putting on a blindfold.

Making sure that most of the guys get blanks. Yeah, oh yeah, yeah. Well, did you ever see that? That Mr. Death? No. It's really weird. Is that the one with the guy who puts a turkey on his head? It's Mr. Bean. Oh, did you ever see that? That Mr. Death? No. It's really weird. Is that the one with the guy who puts a turkey on his head? It's Mr. Bean. Oh, okay.

Is that the one about Don Rickles? Yeah, Mr. War. Oh, okay. Is that the place you go and they change your oil? Mr. Loop. Oh, is that the hot dog stand? Mr. Toobstake? Yeah. Yeah, the... oil mr. loop oh is that the hot dog stand mr. Tuesday yeah yeah the that the shitty French artist from LA mr. shit I forget what his name was brainwash oh

mr. Bramish the bald guy who cleans your car? Cleans your car. Cleans your house. He could also clean your car if he's pressed, Mr. Clean. Mr. Clean. Well, he doesn't clean it. He shows up after the work is done. That guy that there's no more of? That's Jeffrey Yu.

Mr. Nice Guy. Oh, no more of him. Anyways, yeah. Like, I don't know. I don't know from executions. I don't know what's up. Yeah, what would you pick? You know, firing squad probably, I guess.

Eh, something outdoorsy. You know? I don't think they do. I don't even think they do a firing squad outdoors. I think that the idea that we have where it's rifles and, like, a yard. Yeah, I don't think it's, like, I think they just take you down to like a shooting range, you know, like it's all very, cause the public has to be able to watch from behind a thing that's like a safeguard thing.

Yeah. They don't do it outdoors cause there was too many people swinging in at saving the day. How many ones are there's like shooting, uh, firing squad maybe. Yeah. There's chair. Yeah. Which is There's chair. Yeah, injection. Which is a weird invention. It was like you could understand it before they came up with the lethal injection,

and then you would think we're done with that. That's too crazy. Yeah. Lethal injection, hanging, and I think that's it. I don't think there's any other ones. Is there gas? No, i don't think there's any other ones is there gas no i don't think so i mean you'd have to make a whole that would be like a you'd have to have a room that but couldn't you do it just on a mask like a dentist oh yeah that's basically what lethal injection is though same thing okay you're lying down and stuff but it's all horrible like it's

we said hanging right yeah yeah yeah that's how this whole morbid line of thought got started is there tied to train tracks yeah okay i think we said that okay um but yeah i don't i don't know i don't it's weird weird it's weird that that still is happening in 2013 we've already got flying cars. Yeah. Food pills. Yeah. Oh, man.

We do kind of have food pills. Am I right? Yeah. Have you been to Chipotle lately? They're tiny little beans filled with nutrition. I consider beans food pills. Jack and the food pill stock. Yeah.

Bowl of food pills. Jack bought us some stocks and food pills. Well, I guess that brings us to the end of the show. A long show. Oh, sure. Well, we can really jaw. Now, it's the first week of September. I imagine there's a laugh gallery this month coming up, but I don't know what day.

Yeah, it'll be a Monday. It'll be probably the third Monday of the month. And thanks to Hulu Plus, where you can binge on thousands of hit shows anytime, anywhere. Get an extended free trial of Hulu Plus when you go to huluplus.com forward slash stop. Does my voice sound different?

No. And if you like the show, you should head on over to maximumfun.org and check out the blog recap, which will have pictures and videos and such from this episode. I will have a picture of dick blood. A champagne bidet. Not a real thing. Agreed to disagree. And if you want to get in touch with us, it's spy at maximumfund.org or 206-339-8328.

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