Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 286 - Abby Shumka

Episode Date: September 9, 2013

Abby Shumka returns to talk driving school, Chubby Checker's non-Twist hits, and Graham's month in Scotland.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 286 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is my long lost buddy, Mr. Dave Shumka. That's right. Yeah, you were long lost and now you're back.

I was here the whole time. You're the one who left me. That's true. You wanted this. I had to go explore greener pastures. Yeah, you sowed your wild oats i uh chased waterfalls and didn't stick to the rivers and lakes that i'm used to i know you're gonna have it your way or nothing at all something something something moving too fast oh yeah oh yeah yeah right isn't that the point of the song? Yeah. Not my lonely cries. And our guest today, one of our all-time, all-time, all-time favorite guests.

It's been too long since we've had her on. She is a fashion designer. She is her own person. She is one of our all-time faves, Miss Abby Shumka. Podcast. Podcast. Podcast. Hi. Welcome. Hi hi thanks for being our guest thanks guys and uh should we get to know us yeah you're get to know us um so abby yeah when was the last time you were on this show? What was happening?

It was about a year ago. It was episode 250 something. No, 230 something. Anyway, you had just graduated from school. Yes. You had long flowing locks. I did. And now you're, you're like aerodynamic. Yes.

I'm shorn. Yeah. You're ready to lead the, lead the people into a new generation, a fresh generation. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I didn't sign up for that. So you graduated like a year ago. Yeah. And now how are you?

Yeah, tell us what has happened. How's your life been? Fill us in exactly up to this minute. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Fill us in. It's a lot of pressure. I had a day job for a while, just a retail job, and I quit that. And you loved quitting that.

Oh, that felt real good. It felt real good. But you went out all respectful-like. You didn't knock over any displays. No, no, no, no. You didn't tell anyone where they could shove it. No, I didn't. You didn't pants a mannequin.

I think people know where they can shove it. In their butt? Well, yeah. Up their nose? Well, they always say where the sun don't shine. So when you think about it, if you're dressed, you know, conservatively, that's almost anywhere. You can shove it in somebody's armpit. Sure.

You can shove it in their lower back. Or it's like in their shoes. In the wintertime, the sun don't shine up north. Oh, that's true. You can shove it up north. Shove it in the Yuk back. Or it's like in their shoes. In the winter. In the wintertime, the sun don't shine up north. Oh, that's true. You could just shove it up north. Shove it in the Yukon. Yeah. Shove it in your Yukon.

So you left that job and now you're designing your own stuff. Yeah. Making your own stuff. Sewing from home, which is a challenge working from home.

Why? Because of the wonders of the internet and television and dogs? Yeah, the whole kitchen and the dog and like just running errands and the work day doesn't start till you know, 11 or noon

because I'm just upstairs watching Sopranos episodes. Do you because like I've heard about people who work at home, they get up and they have a shower and they get up and they have a shower and they get dressed and they like start their day like how a person would at an office

yeah that's you wake up early even when you didn't have a job you would wake up and shower and be dressed by like 8.30 yeah but you would punch a clock in the kitchen punch it like with a fist we broke so many clocks but it was like it was

really strange because i would do all that but then i didn't i would be like what now i guess i'll pretend to write but wasn't there there's like a story about some writer that he would go down the elevator in his building and just work in the lobby all day just because he needed like just to not be at home yeah to go somewhere yeah i get that because uh like graphic designers who will go sit in a coffee shop or you know they're the worst writers in coffee shops right i guess not graphic designers if you see a graphic designer with like one of those like a draft at cbc we discovered a bunch of old graphic design stuff from the 80s

before they had computers for all that. And so it was like those animation cells. It was like a lot of see-through paper put over top of designs and photographs cut out and pasted on things. And then turned into television graphics somehow. I saw one that was just and photographs cut out and pasted on things. Cool.

And then turned into television graphics somehow. I saw one that was just a, it was like for the news, that thing they put over the broadcaster's shoulder. Oh, yeah. Just like. A little square. Yeah, and it was this like 80s color, like pastel green and pink, Miami Vice style with a dead body

a green dead body on a pink background and it just said murder. And that was their go-to murder graphic? Murder in the 80s. Never mind the bullets. Here's the murder. Right? Green and pink? Isn't that Sex Pistols?

It was more Miami Vice style. Oh, sorry. It was death by you know pushing your blazer sleeves was that called chiron the yeah that's one of the things they call it where they would like because like back in the uh like 70s when if you watch old like hockey games there was a thing like a camera had to film a separate thing and then they had to like overlay the image so it was a picture like they would film a clock and then they'd overlay the clock right on the screen but they actually had to film a real clock yeah they couldn't have a computer

just do the simplest function yeah there was no computer that could do that they could maybe have like a computer that could do clock functions, could fill an entire room. And so they would also have a camera shooting that room. And all the technicians working on it. Pulling levers. Steam going everywhere. Tiny bits of paper being printed out. Just like the interior of the Titanic.

More steam. It's like the interior of the Titanic. More steam. So what is it? Do you work in your like, do you have house work clothes or do you like get suited up? No. Well, I change from pajamas to track pants. Oh, nice.

That's good that you change. Yeah. That's the start of the work day. Yeah. And then what do you do? And I have to put shoes on. Oh, how come? Well, because I wear, I'm always like pins and stuff on the floor.

And so I don't like to be barefoot in there. I see, literally. Yeah. So I have to at least put track pants and shoes on. I also throw my eggshells down there. Yeah. And then on Annie Lennox Day. Yeah. Broken glass.

On Annie Lennox Day? Yeah, yeah. The 4th of December. Remember, remember. When we burn her in effigy? No, we just break glass and then walk on. Okay. So you're making clothes for everybody?

Yeah, I've been doing a lot of costume work this summer. Just making dresses for friends. You made an amazing dress for past guest Alicia Tober. Yes, I was very proud of that dress. That was a very good one. And it has like seagulls and stuff. It's a little nautical theme. It's got seagulls and periscopes and

all sorts of cool stuff. I was very excited when I found that fabric for her. Yeah. I don't know anything about the fashion making process. You know everything. Yeah. Yeah. I'm getting there.

Do you get to see a lot of people in their underwear? Yeah. Oh, yeah. That seems, yeah. Seems like a good start. Also this summer, you did something that you've been putting off for... 17 years. You went to driving school.

Yes! Cool! I haven't actually driven a car yet. Have you driven a simulation? No. Well, we... Grand Theft Auto. We have pole position.

I play Mario Kart. It's pretty much like Mario Kart. No, but I've taken... Yeah, I will be 33 in November, and I'm just taking my driving lessons. Why now? Oh, I was just get my shit together yeah yeah yeah and this is like like a signpost yeah i'm gonna do i told myself that i was gonna do

before i was 30 whoops whoops that didn't happen but now like i'm just i'm really sick of taking the bus oh sure i've always tried to be positive about public transit because you can't being like having to rely on it and being super pessimistic about it. There's no way to live when you have to take it every single day and you hate it. This is true. So I tried to be. You can't fight with the bus and make up with it every day. Every day.

So I tried to be. We were both wrong. I tried to have a good bus karma and like tried like be positive about it. But that is wearing out. Yeah, it's... I've been taking the bus for like 20 years and it's getting very old. Yeah, I feel that a car is not my solution. I can drive and still take the bus.

Why don't you get on that car to go? Yeah, but then you know what would happen? Then you got a car and then you got go, and then you got to come back. Exactly. I got to go somewhere, and then I got to get back somehow. I got to get a car to go back. Because I would just take it every day. It would just be like having a car.

But I don't have that kind of, I don't have a car to go every day scratch. I don't know what it costs. There's a monthly fee, and then you pay for kilometers on top of it or something. It's like per kilometer. And also, have you ever driven one of those small cars? Oh, they're all smart cars, yeah. Smart cars are stupid. And they're terrifying.

It's terrifying to drive in them. It's fine if you were just on a course with all smart cars, like go-karts. But it's like driving a go-kart out on the road with real cars. With giant trucks and cars and things. Yeah, it's scary. You can go on a bike lane, though, right? Really?

No. I don't know how the rules work with those. Like, you're allowed to drive them in a park? There are some weird like don't like hybrids get and maybe smart cars that get special treatment in the parking lots and stuff.

We get better parking spaces sometimes. Yeah, sometimes. And then I think there are like you can go in the HOV lane maybe. Yeah. You know what I just thought would be a funny like

you know how they have like environmental expos. If the big headlining act was like a monster truck you know what i just thought would be a funny like you know how they have like environmental expos uh if the big headlining act was like a monster truck that only went over smart cars just the guy booking it got the idea wrong that would be the best an expo of just like the completely wrong things to do and then he he books everything signs all the contracts and the person in charge is like wait did you not understand what we were doing i thought we were just doing everything that normally happens at an expo but with an environmental twist yeah you left the twist up to me. And I chose anti. You didn't specify the twist.

So it's just like everything's coal powered. Plastic bags everywhere. Now, so what have you done so far in learning how to drive? What are the first steps? I've done all the in-class stuff. The theory. Yes. I always did the 20 hours of in-class stuff.

I did it over four days. Normally you would do the 20 hours of in-class stuff i did it over four days normally you would do it's like eight sessions you would do over eight weeks or something but since it's summertime and everybody else is 16 years old and having summer break i was gonna ask who else is in the class i was very pleased to see that i was not i wasn't the oldest person yeah there was one lady who was older than me my grandmother never learned how to drive until her husband died there was quite a few people in there like over 25 there were maybe about 15 people in the class

and probably about 7 of them about half of them were over 24, 25 ish apparently this is the generation with the least amount of people who know how to drive which generation? ours?

the people who are alive now what do Which generation? Ours? The people who are alive now. There's a lot of... What do you mean? Everybody on earth? Yeah. No, like, I don't know. People between the ages of like 40 and 25. Really?

Yeah. There's the least amount of people who have driver's licenses now than ever before. It was not optional. When I turned 16, I think I was able to square it off for about six months, but my parents were like, uh-uh, you're doing this? Well, you lived in a city that was very car-centric, right? Yeah, but then I didn't get a car. I just had to drive my mom's minivan everywhere. That's what it is, though. So your mom doesn't have to drive you in her dumb minivan yeah

that's true, that was all it was and occasionally pick her up from wherever moms go a tea shop a tea shop I'm going to the tea shop I need you to pick me up and my tea your mom club meetings

drop me off at the tea shop. Parking is always a nightmare, so I need you to just go around the block a few times. I'm going to come back with a van's worth of tea. You grew up in Switzerland. Yeah. First of all, you have to be 18 to drive there. Oh. James Lodge.

And then also the transit system is amazing. Oh, it's amazing. You can get literally anywhere in the whole country. In an hour. I bet you a lot of people that live in big, big cities would never learn. Like New York, you would never. Driving is more of a problem than. Or like London or Paris or whatever.

You wouldn't have a car in any of those cities yeah unless you were like a king or a queen queens can drive or the queen drive or the king of queens and the queen does drive she does does she really she has a range rover yeah in the movie the queen anyway up in scatland oh yeah right Did she go hunting? Yeah. She was corgi hunting. Why did she hunt them? Hunts with them. No, no. She uses them to lure.

Other corgis. Bigger corgis. Game corgis. A fat Christmas corgi. And so in the in-class, did they show you movies you movies yes are they all from the 70s no they're all from like well like 10 years ago they need to be updated but there was a whole bunch of like everybody looks like in sync um no they had a whole bunch of like news stories they'd show a news clip like a clipping from a newspaper and then you talk on the chiron yes on their chiron but all the news clippings

were super old okay like from like the 80s like the early 80s what and what are the news clippings about car accidents yeah and that you just you read about the story this guy did this and this happened and this guy died and then you talk about what story, this guy did this and this happened and this guy died. And then you talk about what could have been done differently. Airbags could have been invented. Sleepers. Brakes. Paved roads.

Traffic lights. So that was interesting. Were any of the movies gory? That's what I remember about driving classes. They showed us a movie where it was super gory. And they didn't warn us. I think somebody at the back got sick or something. And the teacher had to be like, put your head down.

No, they showed us a PSA from the UK, I think. Well, that's all wrong. Wrong side of the car, wrong side of the road. And they had Welsh accents. But yeah, and that was the worst one. I think. What kind of like, hey, you, oi. Well, it was like a whole bunch of teenage girls in a car

and they were all texting and laughing and being dumb teenage girls and then they got in a giant accident. Drove off a cliff. Yeah, and then it cuts to one of those stock clips from the 50s of a car. Did they show you any Toontz's The Driving Cat?

Just the end of Thelma and Louise. Don't do this. For some reason reason that clip from The Fugitive where he jumps out of the pipe where they added vroom sound effect imagine Tommy Lee Jones

as a car yeah that was on TV a couple weeks ago yeah we watched most of it we watched it and it was

I hadn't seen it like I saw it in the theater and I loved it and I didn't I was like wow he jumped out of the thing. It's such a dummy.

His leg goes up over his head. There's no joints in the legs and arms. They're just weird sausages. They just fill it with sausages. That's as close as they can get. It'll do. It fooled me when it came out 15 years ago. You thought Harrison Ford actually did the...

I thought a stuntman did it. Oh, no. He would die. He'd be dead. Well, someone jumped some... Like, you see a guy dive, and that's a person. Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, that's right, because he goes like... He does a really good dive. A little fancy. Yeah. I didn't kill my wife. I don't care. I care a little bit. That's why I'm chasing liar. Yeah. I didn't kill my wife. I don't care. I care a little bit. That's why I'm chasing you.

He's a U.S. Marshal. He's not a detective or nothing. No, that's true. I don't get paid to care. U.S. Marshal. I'm with Al Gore's roommate. It's weird that they would put that in the script. Yeah.

So it's been a long time since I was in traffic school. I don't think I know any of the laws of the road. Like I know the general ones, red light, green light. Do unto others. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is there any newfangled rules? What are the rules? What is something that you learned that you don't think probably your parents learned?

Oh. Is that about traffic circles and roundabouts and stuff? Because they didn't have those in Canada. Yeah, they didn't have circles. No. Oh, yeah. Traffic circles. We didn't get any circles until like 1984.

Which? In Vancouver? No, like any kind of circles at all. The shape didn't exist. Oh, yeah, traffic circles. We didn't get any circles until, like, 1984. Which? In Vancouver? No, like, any kind of circles at all. The shape didn't exist. Oh, gotcha. It was all weird hexagons. We're real backwards. Yeah.

I didn't know it was new. Well, I heard that when you're driving at 10 and 2, that because of airbags now, you should really be driving at 9 and 3. Wow. Later. too that because of airbags now you should really be driving at nine and three wow later because if you if your hands are up too high on the steering wheel and the airbag hits you're gonna punch yourself in the face yeah oh stop hitting yourself yeah says the airbag yeah and things like power steering but i mean my parents had power i mean they didn't have power steering when they learned to drive but things like how to turn a corner and how you can just like you turn the wheel. And then as you straighten out, you just let the wheel go and it turns itself back.

Like you don't need to turn the wheel back straight after you come out of a turn. Really? I thought I remember them saying like you don't ever take your hands off the wheel. Like don't let the wheel slide back through your hands. Now they say it's fine because there's power steering and everything's all regulated. What about texting? Do they teach you fast ways to text? Like BRB instead of be right back.

Don't text 10 minutes. Text 11 because it's close enough and it's easy to text. Oh, yeah. There's two ones close together. That's smart. That's a time saver. There was a big focus on texting. Where's my jerk friend who's like, I'll be there in 11 minutes.

I'll be there in one minute. I'll be there in 111 minutes. How many hours? When do you get in a like, have you ever driven a car? The last time I drove a car was the year 2000. Oh, wow. What kind of car was that? And before that, it was 1997.

Wow. Where? How? How did you drive a car? In the year 2000, it was my then boyfriend's Golf, I think. All right. And I drove it for maybe 10 minutes. Really?

Like, where, on a street or in a parking lot? No, in a street. It was, like, in the middle of nowhere in the country. Wow. And he was like, go ahead. Yeah. Do your worst. Mom's chance.

We're going to break up soon anyway. It was very quickly before we broke up, so. Oh, was this his way to like, kind of like, no, this is the last straw. Then she met me and I was like, I will never make you drive. Oh, yeah. That was the one thing on her checklist. Will not force me to drive. Done.

But it has a car so it can drive me around. Yeah. Ding. To the tea shop. So, did you like the driving? It was so long ago, I don't even remember. Okay. So, when do you get back into a vehicle?

When do you start the actual training? In a couple weeks, I have my first scheduled driving lesson, like, in a car with a lady. Learn how to not have a lady? I signed up for the manual, because Dave doesn't know how to drive a manual. A stick? I know how to drive a manual, Lewis. Yeah, all the way to the bank. So I figured I should learn that.

And like everybody drives stick in my family. Yeah. And nobody drives stick in your family. Everyone in my family drives truck. I had to learn, like I learned on an automatic, like I passed my test on an automatic. And then I had to learn how to drive a stick because that was the only type of car I could afford was standard. And I put that through the motions.

Abby has a lot of family in Europe and they're always like, oh, Dave, while you're over in Europe, we'll teach you how to drive manual. But every time I'm over there, we're always drinking. We'll teach you how to do it drunk. That's when you're going to need to know it.

Driving manuals. It's fun. It's fun once you get the hang of it. Terrifying at first. Don't try to learn how to do it on hills. That's what I remember the most. Flat surfaces only. I think I don't know if they, I don't know.

I didn't specify to ask for an instructor who has experience with older drivers I don't know if that's a difference oh that would be so crazy if it showed up

and it was just an 18 year old like oh they're texting the whole time yeah fuck but

she's an older lady from what I I bet you she smokes I bet you she smokes cigarettes I bet yeah my instructor smoked so many cigarettes we had to stop every like 15 minutes so she could have a cigarette at least she wasn't smoking in the car with you oh i think that's i think yeah because

it was a company car i was gonna say it's not her car yeah yeah yeah and they also uh she's got the brake she's got a brake yeah i don't she't have a steering wheel, but she will have a brake. I would have preferred if she had a steering wheel. She could have just driven. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're so good at it. Why don't you drive? I need to go to the mall.

Yeah. I'm just going to override you here. When I took my driver's test, I remember my teacher was... It was a young guy, and he wanted to get into teaching school. So that's why he was teaching driving. He was like, any experience counts. But it was Young Drivers of Canada. That was the company.

That's a famous one. Yeah. That's what I'm doing. It's awesome. All right. Good work, you guys. That's what I'm doing. Nice.

It's awesome. All right. Good work, you guys. And they had, like, a thing to put on top of the car, like a Domino's Pizza sign. When you mimed it, it looked like they gave you, like, a helmet to wear. Yeah, you get a little helmet. Here's your vroom-vroom helmet. Dave, you go vroom. You're like the movie Tron. Here's your vroom-vroom helmet. Dave Eagle vroom.

You like the movie Tron? Here's your Tron helmet. And the guy was, like, the driver was so embarrassed that he had to put this thing on the roof of the car. So he kept, like, every time he picked me up, he was like, we're not doing it today. We're not putting the thing on top. Oh, it's like, remember in, like, kind of the 70s, the cops would put a siren on top of the car? Oh, man, that would be the greatest. Like, all of a sudden, now I'm a driving instructor. Now I'm a taxi.

I wish I ever saw that in real life. Oh, yeah. Well, we were, I think, they went to undercover cars. Yeah. Wasn't the idea was that that was the cop's car? And he just had like a siren yeah then he could just put a stick on the roof but he i don't know if it was the cop's car i feel like it like they bang those cars up pretty bad yeah that's true like if it was my own car i wouldn't

i wouldn't be driving it as hard as the company car but i felt i feel like there were movies where it was like sylvester stallone or somebody maybe earlier than his era. Stopper my mom will shoot. But yeah, the way he was driving a car. He put a stop Yeti on the roof. But then, you know, somebody would do something crazy and then he would put the siren on. That's weird. Where was that siren plugged into?

Because it was on the driver's side. Was it plugged into the cigarette lighter? Yeah. And where and where is it you put a tape in the tape machine this is my tape of wii u the siren song um but it's yeah and it flashes like a regular and how what what is it like a magnet maybe make it stick on the roof. Where is he pulling it from? Like, is it in? Yeah. Cause it was always kind of, yeah, it was either under his seat or under the dash. Cars were a lot roomier back then.

That's true. Yeah. Yeah. I don't, I don't know. And also like, wouldn't some manufacturer just make those so that everybody could put one and like get through red lights. Right. Cause it would, it wasn't otherwise marked as a police car. sure just make those so that everybody could put one and like get through red lights right because it would it wasn't otherwise marked as a police yeah no one ever pulled him over to make sure he

was a cop yeah yeah well but then he was like chasing people around so like any murderer could have just bought one of those oh yeah like chase people down you know like ah being chased well i think you probably needed to show id to buy one. Oh, yeah. You don't just go to, like, Canadian Tire and just buy one. But I feel like you could have, right? Like, there would have been a guy, a mail order thing in the back of some magazine. Oh, yeah. Just some, like, guy who's good at electronics. Yeah.

Like, make your own siren. Never have to obey the law ever again. Wow. Well, that's awesome. Like, are you excited? Yes. Yeah. I was nervous the first day, but then the... Well, the thing is, too, is just because I've been a passenger all these years

doesn't mean I don't know the rules of the road. Like, I don't know how to operate the actual vehicle. Yeah. But I know what all the signs mean. This is true mean and i know who's got the right of way yeah she when i when she drives with me she points out who's who's being a bad driver around us there you go hey come on but the thing is i don't like i be it's a double-edged sword because i don't i'm so used to being a passenger yeah that i'm not used to looking right yeah yeah yeah looking in the right direction or looking in the right order of things and checking for things like i just i'm always got a scam i'm

just a tourist right like i'm in charge of directions and snacks like that's my job in the car dave that's gonna be your future job yeah exactly are you excited i look forward to it yeah let's have a snacks he's not gonna have a snacks. He's just going to have corn nuts and that's it. Everyone likes corn nuts. That's true. So now I really have to learn to come to an intersection and look this way and look this far ahead. So it's going to take some getting used to because I'm so used to not ever having to worry about that stuff. Yeah.

There's like a thing. I can't remember how. There was like a thing that they taught you about how to scan. like you look at it's like bottom right to top left i can't remember but there's like a way that you scan every lcr left center right lc yeah that's it but you have to look at it as parked cars ground view you gotta move your eyes every few seconds every two seconds looking back you can your back mirror every five to eight seconds. And then, yeah, and then you also got to make sure, like, nobody's going to open their fucking door. You've got to scan parked vehicles.

Yeah. Ground view. Ground view. Sky view. You've got to make sure no planes are coming down at you. Skyfall. Skyfall. You have to make sure you don't hit James Bond.

Or Adele. Sure. That's, like like lesson one what's the trick to to there's a there's like a trick to parallel parking that like there's like a real simple way to line up imagine everyone's naked but what is it isn't it like that you drive like you parallel park a lot yeah what's your love it do you have a you drive up into the mirror of the car in front of you yeah yeah and then you snake but i can't remember i remember there being like a trick where it's like you just have to turn it this much this way that much that way no mirror in you just need to want it bad enough that's true um well that's cool.

Very proud of you. Thank you. Yeah, we're all real proud. I'm probably getting my shit together. Yeah. Well, at least one of us is. Dave, you getting your shit together? Are we talking about me now?

Yeah, yeah. Not so much. Dave's always had his shit together. This is our first episode recording in a month, over a month. Yeah, five weeks maybe. Almost September. We pre-taped a bunch because Graham has been away. Yep.

We'll get to that in a moment. Wait your turn, Graham. Wait your turn. Come on. All right. Jesus. It's been pretty quiet around here. Yeah.

Had a nice little summer. A little easy August. I feel like this is like it's summer's over, even though it's not. Yeah. Had a nice little summer. A little easy August. I feel like this is like it's summer's over, even though it's not. Yeah. Like kids are back at school. And so it's like, oh, it's after Labor Day. No. It's September.

But it's not. It's like I'm still going to be sweating for a month. Yeah, that's true. I'm going to have that itch to put on a flannel shirt. And then it's going to be like an oven on my chest. You want to put your jeans on so bad. There were a lot of old men walking around with their shirts off today. So has there been a long streak?

Topless Sunday was last Sunday. Yeah, like why today? Why today, fellas? You came over here at 1130 in the morning. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. It's weird. So I'm trying to figure out the math.

It's been super shitty the last couple days. And today is actually really nice. So maybe they're just making up for it. Yeah. Just like, itchy button finger. Yeah. They're all wearing those Western shirts that you snap off. But yeah, no, Abby and I have had a quiet summer.

It's been great. We've done a lot of like... Yeah, like our summer list. Yeah. What was your summer list? I was talking to my hairdresser and I was like, oh yeah, have you had a good summer? Did you make a list of all the things you wanted to do in the summer? And she was like, no, I just do stuff when I want to do stuff.

But we went to a baseball game. But that's your hairdresser. Your hairdresser's real free and loose. Yeah. Yeah. We went over to baseball game. But that's your hairdresser. Your hairdresser's real free and loose. Yeah. Yeah. We went over to the island. Yeah.

We went to water slides. Yeah. You did? Yeah, Great Wolf Lodge. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like, wow. I was so jealous.

I thought you guys went to an outdoor water slide. Oh, no. You could do that as a couple. Yeah, but not as an adult. No, yeah, as an adult couple, you guys went to like an outdoor water. Oh, no. You could do that as a couple. Yeah, but not as an adult. No. Yeah. As an adult couple, you guys can. It's just a single guy can't go. Or a group of single guys.

Those are both off limits. Or like animals. Yeah, like a guy and a dog. Bring grandpa. He would hate it, but he would love it. He would love being held as you went down the slide. Oh, I'm not holding him. His arms just sticking out.

He's going upon his own. His eyes bugging. Oh, man, why isn't there a wash slide for dogs? I'm sure it exists somewhere. There's a hotel for dogs. Wouldn't you watch? There's a hospital for dogs. That movie Hospital for Dogs.

There's that heaven that all the dogs go to. for dogs that movie hospital there's that heaven that all the dogs come to um but i would watch i would watch hours of dogs going down water so now you think it should be televised well like it should be i should at least have the option to go watch it the dog water slide revolution will not be televised um abby and i've been watching a lot of uh tv because there's it's like you know how people say oh now that nowadays there's so such good tv even in the summertime they you know but there's not as much in the summertime you wasn't there the jeff foxworthy bake-off show that's true and abby and i have been watching a lot of uh uh two showsaws of Sunset. Yes. Don't know that.

It's about these rich Persians. Oh. Which I believe is Iranian. Yep. But they call themselves Persians. That's their ethnic group. Oh, okay. In Hollywood.

Yeah. And there's a lot of drama. Is it real? Is it a real show? Yeah. Yeah. They're all super rich. Yeah.

There's so much drama And so much eyeliner And so many fist fights Among women That's the twist And the other one is I fell off this for many years I watched the first few seasons of it Didn't watch it for a while

But I'm back on America's Next Top Model I thought you were going to say Dexter Yeah, Top Model's great I was never off the Top Model. I thought you were going to say Dexter. Yeah, Top Model's great. This year... I was never off the Top Model. No, yeah, you were steadfast. I remember that about you. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, you're a true believer. This year it's women and men. Yeah. What other gimmicks have they done? Because they've done... Wasn't there a year where everyone was an amputee? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I remember that season. There was one where there was one of the contestants was a dog, but you couldn't even know which one until the very end. Oh, yeah.

They've had transgendered people. Oh, yeah. Yeah. That was one of the ones. Did they do like a season in... Did they do all plus size one year?

Yeah, maybe a season. They did a college one. Oh, yeah. Did they do a British one? Yeah, I think they all went to England and did it there. But it wasn't Britain's

next top model. It was just America's next top model in England. But this one is men and women. And so there's hookups aplenty. Oh, hookups, breakups,

no doubt. Not yet. We're only four weeks in. But I'm sure it's coming. And the one thing I've noticed is that all of the men, not all of the men, but a lot of the men have a story about being homeless. Yeah. Because on the show, they're like, oh, man, I can't believe I'm on America's Next Top Model.

Two years ago, my foster mother kicked me out and I was on the street after I aged out of the system. We're like, Tyra found me on a corner. Really? Yeah. I was living in my car. There's a lot of people love that. So what's the takeaway from it is that these people are— They're still beautiful.

They're, like, really good-looking, and they haven't had to develop a brain to figure out how not to live in a car? Or what is the... No, they're all really smart. They're all smart. Okay. Yeah. Have they ever done... Was the college a year of top model?

Were they all brainiacs? No. Yeah. Everybody was... They were all in like volleyball scholarships and stuff. Some sports where you got to be tall. I don't know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Volleyball. and stuff. Some sports where you got to be tall. I don't know. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Volleyball. Basketball. Yeah. The limbo team. Nope. Nope. Short helps there. So what's, like, are there the same judges, same everything, just dudes?

Wait, so, like, dudes and ladies are competing? Yeah. Well, that doesn't make any sense. That doesn't make any sense. How does that work? You still gotta smize. Yeah. Some people have...

Guys don't smize. Guys don't smize. They smolder. That would be a good t-shirt. Yeah, absolutely. Trademark, trademark. Pen, penning, pen, penning, pen, penning. Yeah, guys don't smize.

What do they do? They just sizzle, right? Yeah. Yeah. Smolder. Guys sm they do? They just sizzle, right? Yeah. Smolder. Guys smolder. Molders, molders. Well, I'll see you guys later.

I've lost my mind. Okay, one guy laughing. No, it does seem unfair, especially because, like... But they're judged by the same criteria yeah yeah yeah um but no one wants a guy to win this yeah but like but oh yeah and they do the thing uh on like episode three every year all the girls get makeovers and do the guys get makeover yes and they do a different thing for every person yeah so like one person you know goes from straight hair to curly hair. One person goes blonde. I'm going to frost your tips. We're unfrosting your tips.

Yeah. And this year they gave a guy extensions. They gave him like yeah. Like long? Yeah. And he looks terrible. Yeah. Does not look good. One guy they shaved him completely bald.

Oh okay. Oh, okay. It's great. Was there anybody that they came like, well, there's not a lot of stuff you can do with a guy. Like with the girls, you can dye hair and do all sorts of looks. Take it away, you can give them more. Just the guys give them an earring. You're the earring guy. Own it.

Yeah, they shave his head and give him an earring. You're Mr. Clean. Yeah, you're face tattoo guy. Own it. Yeah, they shave his head and give him an earring. You're Mr. Clean. Yeah, you're face tattoo guy. You're going to do a lot of modeling for kitchen cleaning products.

Yeah. We're going to cut off some of your limbs. There's not a lot we can do with men. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What? But like now, are these guys – are they all the same age? Like they're all 20, 22-year-old people?

There's a couple guys who are like 26 or 27, I think. Because aren't guy models only good looking when they're like older dudes? Or am I wrong? Am I out to lunch on that? I think you might be out to lunch. Because I feel like when I look at like a Vanity Fair, all the dudes, they've got like a lot of older dudes. But if you look at the runways, there's a lot of really young looking guys on the runways. I was trying to stay away from that. Yeah the dudes, they've got a lot of older dudes. But if you look at the runways,

there's a lot of really young looking guys. I'm banned from a lot of runways. But yeah, no, I agree. Beards are in though, you might be back on. Oh, yeah, finally. Yeah, get back on that runway, baby. Yeah. But no, I agree, there are a lot of like, you'll see like an ad in a magazine and it's got like.

Some guy with like salt and pepper hair. Yeah. Yeah. And then, but always there's no, there's no lady equivalent of that. The ladies are always 20. Yeah. Something. Yeah.

You can age. Or they're like very old. They're like classic models who modeled in the seventies. They're now back, but they're like 60. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But there's nothing really in between. Yeah. That's are for yeah that's true oh yeah ah thanks celebrities yeah thanks

for carrying that load yeah for being attractive in your old age having charisma thanks jennifer anderson julianne moore doing hair dye commercials oh yeah oh yeah's what older women are for. Oh, do you want to know a weird thing? This is like just some weird tidbit. Over in the UK, Kevin Bacon is a spokesperson for like a telephone company. I buy that. Yeah. But it was weird. It's like, Kevin Bacon?

Why not? Why not Kevin Bacon? Yeah. But it's weird. Like, because like in overseas ad campaigns, they do the Kevin Bacon? Yeah. But it's weird, like, because, like, in... Those overseas ad campaigns, they do the weird stuff. Yeah, but there are ones that are, like, Japanese. Yeah.

Like Brad Pitt doing an ad for a Japanese candy or something, and you're like, oh, they do these because they get paid a lot of money and no one will ever see them. But now everybody sees them. Now everybody sees them and no one really cares. That's true. But it's weird that, like like they have their own celebrity. It's the same language over in England. Yeah. They don't need no Kevin Bacon.

Yeah. That's exactly it. That's why it was weird. It's like, why Kevin Bacon? But then I was like, I don't know. Why not? Yeah. Like who else?

Anybody. It doesn't matter. Yeah. Weird. So you were just in the UK. I was. Tell me about it Also me Tell us about it

I will tell you all about it Well first I was in Montreal Oh yeah And That's in Canada That's in Canada But it's got a European feel It does

Cobblestones Cobblestones So I wanted to You know I wanted to Phase myself into it yeah yeah slowly get used to the you know architecture don't twist an ankle on those cobblestones that's really all it is and uh so i went there first and then uh did the the festival there and then flew to Newark Airport, where my flight was delayed, and I spent eight hours in the Newark Airport.

You've been there before. We spent some time there last year. I know it inside out and backwards. I went to the food court three separate times. I lived a whole life there, I feel like. Very that movie with Tom Hanks. Castaway. Yep.

And then, yeah, I went to the Edinburgh Festival. And it was, you know, it's like 20... You did a lot of shows. Yeah. Like, it was show a night plus other showcase shows. Sure. Were you ever on the showcase showdown? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I won a kitchen set. Oh, good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And a picnic set. And a CD, yeah. A lot of stuff I don't need. Grandfather clock. That's what it's all about.

But yeah, you do a show. When you go and do the festival, you're given a place, like this is your stage that you're at. You're at this time slot every night. And then you go, you hand out flyers, everybody's handing out flyers everywhere. And there's the program for the show is, you know, it's like the size of like a double issue of uh the gq the program for the whole festival for the festival yeah so like there's two there's like 2500 shows or something so it's yeah like a lot of information yeah you go in and you have no idea what is but like when you walk around the city, everybody has posters everywhere.

Sure. So you get a sense of like, who's famous over there. Right. But there's a whole fame, there's a whole system over there. There's a whole other level, yeah.

Yeah. Like we don't, I was at one point, I was at a party with 10 people who were like, some of the most famous people in Britain. And I didn't know any of them. Like I never heard of any of these guys, but they were all sold out shows at the biggest stages and like had posters

everywhere. And, but like, I've never liked Russell Kay. Like, who's that? You know, but he's like super famous.

They all got famous on big brother. Yeah. Yeah. All the posters said from big brother or EastEnders. Yeah. Well, when I stayed at Abby's house in Switzerland like 10 years ago, they had British cable. Yeah. And one of the channels was all just Big Brother tryouts.

Yeah. Like it was literally just wall-to-wall. 24 hours a day of just tryouts? Of just like, yeah. I think there was one channel that was just... Yeah, people submitted their videos and auditions and stuff. And like they would cut them into like, oh, and here's a guy who is an idiot. Yeah.

Cut them to the Macarena. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, so you do a show every night and there's people come in and they review the show for like the newspaper which is not a thing that happens ever in canada oh for for like stand-up yeah never like what maybe once a career you would be on a show that a reviewer would come and see and actually write a review uh so that was weird uh and it was mostly good like i only got one bad review. Okay. Fuck that guy.

Yeah. What kind of stuff did they say about you? They all talked about how every single one said that I looked like a homeless guy. And at one point there was a lady who wrote a review. I think it was a lady. And she said that I was shaped like something called a womble, which I refuse to look up because I know it's not complimentary. Is it something

that you knock down and it comes back up? Or is that a jumble womble? No, I just mean those inflatable kids toys. Yeah, no, it's a British character. Oh, I'm thinking of a weeble. Yeah, weebles wobble. But they won't fall down. No, womble is what I was comparing to. And somebody told me it was a show about creatures that live in Wimbledon.

They're called the Wombles of Wimbledon. Oh, brother. Yeah. And that was the other thing. I thought I had vetted my act for all the word differences. Oh, sure, sure. Flats and lifts and chips and things.

But here's one that I did not catch, and it was actually past guest Colt Cabana that flagged it for me. Because he came to the show. Thank the Lord for Colt. Oh, he was there. He was doing his wrestling show. So much fun. But he was the one who, after a show, he said, I don't think the word vest means the same thing.

Oh, waistcoat. Waistcoat is vest. But do you know what a vest is? Oh, no. Because vest is a thing over there. What? No. Vest is like what we would call a wife beater.

That's a vest. Oh, yeah, that's different. Like an abusive husband. Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah so an undershirt is a vest a vest is a waistcoat pants pants are underwear that you don't say yeah pants are underwear so pants are trousers yeah uh or jeans slacks yeah uh slacks sure um and so but that was one where they'll bit the bit kept not working. Well, it worked fine.

Cause they, they were, I obviously the audience knew what I was talking about, but after a show, he was like, I think you're losing some people on the vest thing, which I've never heard of before. That one threw me for a loop. And also, uh, Craigslist is not really a thing over there. No. But it's like it exists over there, but people use a site called Gumtree. Which is, like I said, at least Craigslist is a thing. It's a list that a guy named Craig started. But Gumtree's not a thing.

There's no tree that makes gum. And if there is... There might be. Yeah, well... Not chewing gum. Well, that's the only gum I can remember. Well, in Canada we have Kijiji. What the fuck's a Kijiji? Yeah, Canada we have Kijiji. What the fuck's a Kijiji?

Yeah, what is a Kijiji? What the fuck? But we got Craigslist here, right? True, yes. Yes, we do. But on Gumtree, I don't think you can. Confirm. You can't go trawling for creepy sex on Gumtree.

Oh, really? I think it's just apartments and jobs. Didn't England, didn't that whole island, didn't they get rid of like internet porn? No. Well, I don't know. I didn't really have internet the whole time. I was like,

oh, I should have checked. Oh, damn it. I was on Gumtree the whole time. Looking for vests. You can find any. Craigslist is a dumb. Nobody's selling

their old vests. Craigslist is a, like, it's not a great name either. No, but you know, it's pretty egomaniacal. That's true. Or barely short-sighted. Yeah name either. No, but it's pretty egomaniacal. That's true. Or barely short-sighted.

Yeah. Yeah. Like, hey, Craig, why don't you let the rest of us have this? I got a list too, Craig. What if it was called Craig's Tree? What about Craig's Tree? Oh, Gum Craig. Gum list.

So your shows, were they well attended? Yeah. Like, from what I gather. How did people know to come see you that i don't know yeah pamphlets and also is being produced by these uh two gentlemen uh called the pajama men and they're huge over there they've been uh this is i think their eighth time at the fringe and they sold out almost every night and so at the end of their show they would say we're producing two shows and i would hand out flyers every night after their show and then you get reviews and i guess that helps but it's like i think mostly it's like people see your poster and go i'm gonna go see that like i like that guy's

poster yeah that guy looks crazy what was your poster jib. What was your poster? Was it you in the woods? Yeah, and I'm listening. Those are great pictures. I've got a little squirrel that's saying something into my ear. Right. Oh, what's that show, right? I want to see that guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And there's not a fucking squirrel in the show. No, that's true. You swear so much more on the podcast. Are you for real? Never. Do you know who I am? Yeah. She's tough.

She's going to be driving a semi pretty soon. But it wouldn't be a podcast if you didn't chastise me for swearing. Of course. And then while I was there, Jesse Thorne and Jordan Morris were there, and we did an episode, a live episode of their podcast. That's probably out by now. Yeah, and that was a lot of fun was that was a lot of fun it was a lot of fun to see uh those guys they were only there for like like kind of a night and then they

went to london after how does that work were they because you're there all month and you have a time that you do a thing yeah like every day i think there was this the where they were was a rotating time slot so they could just just do whatever they wanted. Right. And so they did that one show, and the audience that came out for that was great. So it was fun. Well, they told everybody in Europe to come. Yeah.

And there was somebody who came all the way from, I think, the Czech Republic or something like that. Oh, yeah. Oh, sweet. Yeah. And how was just being in Scotland for a month? Good. Cause everybody that you talk to is, is also there for the thing.

You know what I mean? So it's not like if I was the only guy there for a month, I would feel like, well, this is weird, you know, but everybody's there doing these shows and going crazy. And so you meet just,

yeah, you just meet other people that aren't from scotland mostly i met some people from scotland but mostly it was not mostly it was people from a lot of canadians there that i knew from before that great i could do this at home um but yeah there were people that it was really tough like the shows it wasn't like playing in a club like people wouldn't they would laugh they would laugh and then stop laughing because they're But yeah, there were people that it was really tough. Like the shows, it wasn't like playing in a club. Like people wouldn't, they would laugh, they would laugh and then stop laughing because they're like what a play audience would be. So in a play, like you've got like lots of words to fill in that time.

And as a stand up, not as much. Yeah. So like, yeah. At the end of a thing, you're like, this is where you laugh a lot. And I get to take a sip of water. Yeah. And it wasn't like that. Like, there was times where I was like, that's not even enough time to get over to the water.

So you started, you know, moving your water. You started wearing a camelback. A camelback. The camelback comedian. Yeah. So thirsty, you guys. Next year year's show that's pretty good it's great and that's oh yeah that's the thing everybody's uh show has to have like a pun name oh right like it's just like every poster has the comedian's name and then a pun and that was every poster everywhere and yours was 21 grams yeah 21 grams everybody the weight of a soul that's not bad actually that's as yeah that's

as good yeah then my favorite was there was a gentleman there and his show was called cake charmer and his poster was him popping out of a cupcake and he had like frosting as a hat did you go see that we had a conflict oh darn it yeah it was on at the same time as my show but meh

I just wanted to see how much cake was involved in the show was he just talking about cakes were there cakes was a giant cake that he was popping out

was he a tiny guy cause your poster it's like coming from the guy with no squirrel in his show yeah that's true but I did you know everything else was above board. Yeah, yeah.

You wore jeans. Yeah, yeah. I wore jeans but referred to them as pants and everybody got confused. Yeah, so it was like some of the shows were really, really tough. And it's a long time. Like it's a long time to be there. Yeah. And just like doing this thing every day. Because you only get one day off.

You only get one shot. Yeah, that's true. One opportunity. Yeah. Yeah, that's true. I did a lot of rap battling while I was there. You were sweaty. Knees weak.

Arms heavy. Vomit. Sweater. Ready. Spaghetti. He's got a new album out. Yeah. Good.

Good. You know, I feel like the landscape it doesn't have enough that Eminem yeah he's great it's been a while

yeah he's fine what is it called revenge or he's all clean now because he went through that he went through a crazy addiction and stuff

and gained a bunch of weight and now he's off his addiction and now he's back to rapping oh was he was he was he a big fat guy yeah well not big fat but like

that would have been great chunky and sweaty. Chunky M&M's. He was a member of the Fat Boys for a while. Every rapper that gains weight has to join the Fat Boys. That's true, yeah. Heavy D. Notorious Big.

Big Pun. Rick Ross. There's not as many fat rappers now as there used to be. No, Bubba Sparks lost a whole bunch of weight. Yeah. pun. Rick Ross. There's not as many fat rappers now as there used to be. Do you think that Bubba Sparks lost a bunch of weight? Yeah. Do you think that the

rap industry has turned against hefty rappers? I think it's these pressures put on rappers by they see the beautiful young women in rap

magazines. Yeah, yeah. They look at two chains and he's so skinny. That's true. A lot of the rappers will not

have a shirt on a lot of the times showing off their, uh, physiques. Yeah. But who's, but who's, yeah. What's his name? Uh, the Rick Ross, he, he's always shirtless. You know, all the things I see. That's true.

Yeah. Own it. Yeah. He's tried to turn back. He's kind of the whatever of that. You lost all your North American words. Yeah. I was trying to think of this actress

that was on like a show, a law show. Cameron Mannheim? Yeah. Oh my God. That's what I was trying to think of. Cameron Mannheim. Yeah, she's the Rick Ross of law shows.

Oh boy. Well, that's as good a note as any to move on to overheard. Well, why don't we take care of some business first? Oh, yeah, business. Life can be fun. Don't get carried away. You got to do the things you don't want to do to get through the day. You got to shine your shoes.

You got to sweep the floor. You got to clean your shoes. You've got to sweep the floor. You've got to clean your house. You've got to do some more. Take care of business. This week the show is sponsored by Hulu Plus. Now, if you've tried Hulu.com, we want to tell you about Hulu Plus. Even if you haven't tried it, try before you buy. Yeah, and even if you just tried to do a hula at some point,

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check it out. Check it out, you. Hey, you. You. You. Eyes up here. And also we have a Jumbotron message, a personal message from Caitlin to a gentleman named Justin. And you know what?

It's Justin's birthday. Happy birthday, says Caitlin. Yeah, to the most amazing boyfriend around. Oof, oof, big words. Well, I'm off the mark. Yeah, that's true. You're the greatest, sweetest, most talented guy I know. I bet you he's always hoped to hear that in my voice.

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MaximumFun.org slash Jumbotron. All right. Let's move on to Overheard. Overheard. Overheard. Overheard. Overheard. Now, Graham, before we move on to Overheard, I think it's really important that we've done 286 shows, but we don't have a constitution.

No, that's true. So I think it would be good to spend the next few hours hammering out what this show is all about. Yeah, absolutely. You know, so we can make laws in the future. Yeah. Dave. Yeah? Shush.

Okay. Because I don't think anything happened. I don't recall hearing anything happening to Hulk Hogan this summer. Nothing of significance, anyway. Okay, let's move on. Yeah, it was weird. It's weird that he was like, it was really quiet. Like, there was no, I didn't get any tweets from anybody.

Nobody sent me any stuff. Well, that's good, because you hate that. No, I'm fine with it. I think, wait, isn't it you that hates it? Dave hates it more than you do. Yeah, I'm fine. But it's weird. I didn't hear anything. So, was Hulk just maybe took the summer off?

Yeah. He didn't do anything that I would consider noteworthy. Okay. So, moving on to overheards. Graham, are you being... I'm being facetious. Okay. But, yeah, let's move on to Overhurst. Graham, are you being... I'm being facetious. Okay. But, yeah, let's move on to Overhurst.

Well, I have some Hulk Hogan news. Do you? Hulk Hogan is dead. Oh, no! David! Long live Hulk Hogan. David, stop it. He arm-wrestled a mayor.

He did. And he also... Our favorite mayor. He announced plans to have a movie made of his life. Oh, good for him yeah he wants who's gonna play him oh like a scripted

yeah yeah yeah he wants the guy who plays Thor yeah oh that's good I believe that you've already told me that no no

I didn't know that that was in the time oh really yeah yeah well he also said at the outset that he wanted his son to play it

but everybody hates that guy that guy should be in prison everybody knows I like Nick Hogan a lot he doesn't have the bulk He also said at the outset that he wanted his son to play it, but everybody hates that guy. That guy should be in prison. Everybody knows. I like Nick Hogan a lot. He doesn't have the bulk. I like his previous acting work. He was in a thing.

He acted in a thing. Oh, yeah? Where Hulk played Zeus and he played... The erotic adventures of Zeus. Yeah, the erotic awakening of Zeus. Of Zeus and son. Zeus and Herc. Zeus and Herc do the jerk. Well, not as good as any title.

Sure. But yeah, Hulk wears a wig in it. Anyways, check it out. Oh, the Zeus movie that exists. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not the sex tape they made together? Not this upcoming movie with the guy who plays Thor. He doesn't wear a Hulk wig.

Yeah. So in the movie, Hulk plays himself as an old man, like in the future, telling the story of his life. In the future, he's going to fly. This is the Zeus movie? Yeah. In the future, he's gonna fall in it. Is this the Zeus movie? Yeah. He plays future Zeus. He plays future Zeus. He tells the story of what he wrestled past Zeus in No Holds Barred. It's very confusing.

What Zeus is what. And which movie we're talking about. Alright, over hurts, guys. Over hurts for real skis. So he must have like, they must have paid him a lot of money to lose that arm wrestling match. Oh, yeah. Yeah. But yeah, it's, oh, speaking of which, I don't know if, but I got a hot tip on exactly how much Mr. Hogan charges for a personal appearance.

Oh. And it's not as steep as you might think. Is it five figures? No. Is it four? Yes. Okay. But like a four that I'm thinking about, like, I'm looking at my finances right now.

Sure, yeah. You want to do a Hulk starter? Yeah. Yeah, maybe you should do a Hulk starter. That's not a bad idea. Yeah, because Evan Wilson. Am Hulk starter? Yeah. Yeah, maybe you should do a Hulk starter. That's not a bad idea. Yeah, because Evan Wilson. Am I right? Yeah.

He sent me a message saying that he had found, I don't know, through a website or something, he had found out how much the amount was. I can't remember the exact amount, but it was low. Under $5,000? Under $5,000. What? Under $5,000. For a personal appearance. Okay.

I wonder, now that I'm thinking about it. What do you get in a personal appearance? And what does he need? I think you get to beat him in an arm wrestling match in front of the press of the world. And you fly him. Oh yeah, you have to fly him and put him up and then the fee is separate. And give him a tanning bed. Yeah, yeah. He has to stay in a hotel that has a tanning bed.

He has to stay in the tanning hotel. He can wear a whole bunch of shirts he can rip up. Everything about the hotel is tanning. They've got a Hawaiian Tropic bidet. Ew. What? How would that work?

Like it just puts sunscreen in your butt? It puts sunscreen... No one tells you how to use a bidet. Wait a minute. It puts sunscreen where the sun don't shine? We did it. Yeah, we really did it. Does he need a first class

airplane ticket? He's huge. He can play economy. He can nominate. He can play polyconomy. I wonder if those guys could fit in an airplane bathroom. Because those are really tiny. Those guys? Wrestlers.

Okay. Yeah, giant, like could The Rock use a conventional airplane bathroom? I doubt it. Do you have a ghost or a grandpa? Yeah, we have a dog scratching at the door again. All right. All right. All right. So, overheards.

We're moving on to overheards. We don't want to talk about wrestlers in the bathroom? I think I covered it. We like to start with the guest. Okay. Abby, I assume you came prepared. I have two. Even though you live here, you're the guest.

I have two, so you can start with me and then come back to me. Okay. Bookends. Bookends. Okay. prepared even though you live here you're the guest i have two so we can start with me and then come back to me okay bookends bookends okay so uh former podcast guest alicia tobin and i were walking down in chinatown we just had a lovely bowl of ramen soup oh everybody loves spicy meatball eh chinese it was a fishball um and we're walking down the street and Chinatown borders the downtown east side here in Vancouver, which is one of the poorer areas of town. Yeah, it's our skid row. Exactly.

So there's a lot of overlap in the people walking around. There's like little old Chinese ladies and then a lot of scary homeless people. Yeah. And tourists. And then also, yeah, tons of tourists. Oh, yeah, lots of tourists, right? Yeah, because it's a big tourist attraction. So, yeah, Alicia and I are walking down the street.

Chinatown is. Yes. And we're stopped at a light waiting for it to change to cross the street. And there's this guy behind us and he's pushing a bike. He has some sort of jersey. I think it was a basketball jersey on I think the Lakers I think

not that it matters I'm always obsessed with what people are wearing but that's just me you've got to be I've got to keep my eyes on what's happening and trends and stuff on the Duttony side what are guys pushing bikes wearing so he's this big tall gangly guy and he's's pushing this bike, and he's talking to this guy,

and he's very animated as he's telling this story to his friend. And he's pushing the bike with one hand, and with the other hand, he's gesticulating very enthusiastically. And he says, so then I told him, hey, bro, bro, hey, bro, bro, bro bro i'm still your bro hey bro and then he just kept stabbing me and alicia and i just look at each other and alicia nods i get up my phone i started writing down what was just said save it for later hey quit stabbing me bro don't taste me we're bros i'm'm your bro. You're still your bro. Ow, bro. Bro. That's tough.

Yeah. Because it's like, if someone walks up, a stranger walks up and stabs you, you run away. But if it's your bro, you have to, you know, you have too much history to just walk away now. Yeah. Have you seen the movie Chopper with Eric Bana? Oh, I saw it a long time ago. He's pretty awesome in it. He's a big muscly guy.

Yeah, he's pretty great. And there's a scene where his somebody kind of tries to usurp him and stabs him and he just very calmly like, why'd you do that?

Why did you stab me? And the guy, you could tell the guy's like, oh, that didn't work. Because he's just so calm about it. He's like, why'd you do that? Why'd you stab me? Hey the guy, you could tell the guy's like, oh, that didn't work. Because he's just so calm about it. He's like, why'd you do that? Why'd you stab me? Hey, what's that?

Uh-huh. Hey, why'd you stab a chopper? I'd never stab a chopper. He's Australian. Yeah. Always trying to chop me lucky chops. Now, Dave. Yeah.

My overheard is a weird overseen slash overheard slash over research. And Abby, I told you about this. Okay. You'll recognize it when I start talking now. You'll recognize it when I start talking now. I was thinking about that song by Chubby Checker that was Let's Twist Again like we did last summer. Yeah, yeah. And I got to thinking about it and I was like, oh, was that just like a, was he desperate for another song after the twist? And did that song literally come out the summer after the twist?

Oh, I never thought about that. And it did. It came out in 1961. The Twist came out in 1960. And so I looked him up on Wikipedia to see how many other songs he did about The Twist. Was Twisting by the Pool, was that him? Here's a list. Oh, wow.

The Twist, Let's Twist Again, Slow Twistin', Twist It Up. Here's a list. Oh, wow. The twist. Yeah. Let's twist again. Slow twisting. Oh, wow. Twist it up. Twist in USA. I like twisting USA. Twisting round the world.

Oh, sure. Is that one where he's like, and then I was in Japan and we twisted like this. That's super racist. Twist train. Oh, okay. True. Mr. Twist Train. Oh, okay. Choo-choo. Mr. Twister. Oh, yeah.

Ooh. A German song called Twist Mit Mir. Oh. Das Twist. Teach Me to Twist. Sure. Peppermint Twist. Oh, Pepp...

But that's a famous one, right? Peppermint Twist? Yep. La Paloma Twist. And then there was one called You Stopped Twistin'. Oh. Why?

Was that his last song? Well, that made me laugh when I read it on Wikipedia. And I googled the song name. laugh when I read it on Wikipedia and I googled the song name and the only thing that comes up, there's like tons of pages that literally just copy a Wikipedia

page. So you can find it. Yes. Like the Chuck Berry bio on some other site. Right. But there is no song called You Stop Twisting. Why? It is funny to add that as the last. Like, hey, why did everybody stop twisting?

I'm still singing about it. I'm Chuck Berry, damn it. Twist until I say stop. And here's the over-researched part. Then I was like, oh, did he do any other, like, was twisting his thing or did he come up with other dances for people to do? And here is a really long list of songs by chuck berry that you didn't know existed no wait not not chuck berry chubby checker i'm sorry yeah did i say chuck berry all this time no you were you said chubby checker at the beginning

yeah okay but then as soon as you were saying chuck uh then i started thinking about marvin marvin berry okay no yeah no it's chubby Checker. I apologize. We might have to edit. Okay. Chubby Checker. Here are a bunch of Chubby Checker songs that you've never heard of, and they're all dances. The Fly. Okay, The Fly I think I've heard of. Your ear falls off.

Yeah. Ha ha ha, yeah. The Brundle Fly. The Huckle Buck. Okay. The Hully Gully. Oh, the Hully Gully. I've heard that one. For sure I know the Hully Gully. I've heardbuck. Okay. The Hulligully. Oh, the Hulligully. For sure I know the Hulligully. I've heard that one.

Okay. The Slop. No, never heard of the Slop. It's a sequel to the Hulligully, which involves a mop. One of the lines is, you take a mop. Very popular with janitors. The Stroll. Okay.

The CC Rider Stroll. Oh. The CC Rider Stroll. Oh. The Strand. Oh, The Strand. Maybe that's a movie. One of the lines in that song is, it's a lot like The Stroll. If you like The Stroll, you'll love The Strand. The Oopoo Padoo Shimmy.

Now, I don't think he invented any of these dances. Oh, you mean like the dances were there and then he was like, I'll write a song. Yeah, because there's the pony, which was a dance. And he has a bunch of songs about his pony time, pony express. He has one called The Jet. And the first line is, you did the pony and you did the twist. You're with me so far. There's one called Ballin' the Jack.

Oh, Ballin' the Jack. I think I know that. You swim, you twist, you do the Eagle Rock. Okay. That's part of it. And then he did a bunch of limbo songs. Limbo Rock. Banana Boat Limbo song, Marianne limbo, let's limbo some more, when the saints go limbo in. No, like this is a, they talk about this in business.

You don't want to be a one skew company. Yeah. You want it. So he was a once, he was just had the twist. So this is him diversified. Multi-pronged attack. Yeah, the holly gully. Yeah. He just had the twist, so this is him diversified. Multi-pronged attack. Yeah, the holly golly. I'm gonna learn how to do the holly golly. Get a mop.

There were songs from the era, like the swim and the mashed potato, and he just made songs about them. Yeah. The mashed potato time, let's do the Freddy chicken dance. Did he do? He didn't sing the mashed potato song, though, did he? What's the mashed potato song?

Oh, no, wait. It's just mentioned peripherally in another song. Mashed potato, you can do the twist. Oh, yeah. The Watusi, the Madison, the Continental Walk, the Bristol Stomp, which sounds like a soccer riot. Yes, it's a sort of killing maneuver. Finishing move. The mess around. Oh, the everybody mess around. Yeah, that's a soccer riot. Yes, it's a sort of killing maneuver. Finishing move. The mess around.

Oh, the everybody mess around. That's a Ray Charles song, isn't it? Yeah, that's right. That's the thing. The Charles Stone. Oh. And the Ray Charleston. Oh.

You stepped on a lot of toes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mostly Ray Charles. Mostly while twisting. I'm going to try and learn the holly golly. Yeah, learn them all. First step, get a mop. That's the slop.

Damn it. You do the slop. Grab a mop. So my apologies to Chuck Berry, but no apologies to Chubby Checker. Chubby Checker's still alive, yeah? Yeah. Yeah, still twisting by the pool. Or whatever outdoor venue.

Oxygen machine. Yeah, I went to his website. He's only like 70. He was quite young when the twist came out. Was he fat? Jeez Louise. Or was Chubby Checker like when they say Fat's Domino? Well, it was based on the name Fat's Domino.

Oh, wow. So this guy just yonk, yonk So this guy just... But it's not even that. It was like he had a hit when he was 20 and he was just like, we're doing dance songs for the next 50 years. Well, it's not like he was gonna... He was like, one album was Chubby Checker Sings About the Twist

and then the next one's like Sgt. Pepper. I think he gets all experimental. Yeah, pet song. And I went to his website, and it says, celebrating 50 years of the twist. So the website was updated in 2010. Yeah. And it's got a picture of this giant bus called the Chubby Checker Express, but it sells Chubby Checker brand beef jerky. Oh, man.

I want to be in the Chubby Checker business. Business is good. It's just a bus. What time is the bus gate? My bus is late. This is whatever bus Chubby Checker is on. Hey, sir, we warned you about selling your beef jerky on our public transit. Okay, so that's my overheard.

Yeah, it's good. Real good. My overheard, I have several from my trip abroad, but this is one from right here in Canada, Montreal. from right here in Canada, Montreal. This was the thing. It was a Friday night, but it wasn't late, but everybody was so drunk. Do you know?

It's like one of those things where you're like, wow, this is really like Friday night. Everything's wild. And then you look at your watch. You're like, it's 8 p.m. How is everybody so crazy? And there was a bar where it was two two patios outside like so there was a bottom patio and a top patio and there was a guy yelling up at his girlfriend on the upper patio and trying to get her attention and i didn't see them i could just hear them but he was like

yelling like hey down here come on hey and uh and then she was she yelled back like what and he's like i lost my contact and they were yelling back and forth about the contact can you see it from up there i can't find my contact and then uh then i didn't hear anything this is i was eating a piece of pizza this whole time yeah so i was listening to the whole drama unfold and then uh after a little while he said i found my contact it was on my eyeball they're the whole time it's always in the last place you look in your own eye so yeah it was like it's like those people those people it's like

everyone who loses their glasses and it they and they have them on their forehead or something. Oh, yeah. I've never, although, yeah, I've never worn glasses up on my head. So I like that because I always felt like that was a, that you don't do that. I read that in like a fashion don't. It stretches out the arms. Yeah. What are you supposed to do with glasses when you're not wearing them?

Put them down. Pocket? Like front pocket? Front pocket or... Put them back in the case. Dangle them in your shirt there. I heard that that's a no-go. I heard that's a fashion don't.

Well, you have to do something with them. Yeah. Oh, you wear them on the back of your head. Oh, yeah. That's a do. Yeah. Now, Abby, I understand you have a second over her. I do. I was standing... I do. That's what you said on our wedding. a do. Now, Abby, I understand you have a second over her. I do.

I do. That's what you said on our wedding. Remember when the eagle flew over? It was pretty great. Hey, what did you guys do for your anniversary? Went out for dinner. We went out for dinner to an abandoned restaurant. What?

What does that mean? It was a really nice restaurant. It was great. And the food was awesome. It was so good. We were the only people there, though. But I think they get busy, like... It was a Tuesday night at, like, six.

Yeah. Okay. But you were the only guys in there? Eventually, like, two other people. Two other groups came. Did you feel, like, a lot of pressure to, like, drink your water fast so they had something to do? Fill up more water? Or like, you know, did they keep

coming over? How are the first couple bites? How are the second bites? How's your fifth bite? Was it very romantic? Very romantic. Well, we had the restaurant to ourselves. Yeah. Sounds pretty nice. It was great. It was great food. And then we went out somewhere else for dessert.

You twisted by a pool. Yeah. You went to a separate dessert place? Yeah. Delightful. Yeah. Were there so many book club ladies all there having desserts? It was also empty.

Yeah, it was pretty empty as well. People don't like it. It was right after the long weekend. The long weekend was the Monday. It was BC Day on first Monday in August. Oh, yeah, BC Day. And then the next Tuesday, we just figured everybody else is back from partying and eating like assholes all weekend. Yeah.

So nobody was out doing anything that Tuesday night. That's true. And it's also the place we went for dessert. It wasn't like an ice cream shop. Yeah. But was it like a death by chocolate kind of place? Yeah, it was like, you know, big cakes and... Cakes and tea.

Yeah. Oh, where I dropped my mom off. Yeah. So it's not necessarily a place you would go on a hot summer day. No. But we just wanted it. We just wanted a giant cake. I get it.

We want what we want. Yeah, that's true. Now, Abby, you haven't overheard, I understand. Yes, I do. I have a second one. This is very recently. This was only like last week. I was standing waiting for the bus.

No more of that. No. The Chubby Checker Express. Wait for my jerky. For Ms. Jerky Cannon. We're going to have a twist competition for jerky. Hey, everybody. Seagulls just fly.

Just happening. Oh, man. Oh, Lordy. Anyway, so I'm waiting for a night. For some reason, I don't have my headphones in because I can hear this because normally I always have my headphones in. Listening to you guys. Always. Always.

And there's the rapper Trina. Oh, yeah. I don't know if she's already come and gone, but there was a poster for a show she was doing. And it's, you know, regular poster size. It's on an electricity pole or a light stand or something and she's and the poster is it's a white background and she's sitting it's got her name trina in the in big letters on the top and the bottom is her sitting with her legs open like all seductive and

she's got like a like a gold body suit on with no pants and then like a big fur um she's a rapper sure and she's got a big fur like coat just over her shoulders and then a shit ton of jewelry and giant nails she looks awesome she's super pretty and she's not just looking at the camera and then these two two guys and a girl walked by and they were probably in their 40s very like normal white people who you know go like football and like not some i'm just sort of blue jeans and drink milk love mayonnaise um i'm just trying to say. Put on blue jeans and drink milk. Love mayonnaise. I'm just trying to say that they're very white people. Blue jeans and drink milk.

And one of the guys points to the poster and say, hey, check it out. And the woman walks by and goes, ooh, that's my kind of party. And then goes, what is this? Seriously, I want to go to this. What kind of party is this? goes, what is this? Seriously, I want to go to this. What kind of party is this? This woman with no pants on. I got to check this out. That's my kind of party.

And that made me laugh. I want to go somewhere where pants aren't required. Yeah. Oh, maybe that was her thing. Yeah. Maybe she's tired of pants. No pants required. No pants included.

The Phil Collins album. No pants required. No jacket required? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Take off your pants and jacket, wasn't that the Phil Collins follow-up? Take off your pants and do the jacket. Why?

Who's Chubby Checker? Yeah, Chubby Checker. I'm worried I've been saying Chuck Berry for weeks. So it is Chuck Berris thing. You know how Chuck Berris loves dancing. Now, we also have overheards that have been sent to us from people around the world. Oh, I should mention, speaking of fans of the shows, bumpers. attention speaking of like fans of the shows bumpers uh during this just i just remember this during the the festival after one of my shows a gentleman who listens to the show i guess at some

point in time i i said that i thought it would be the coolest thing in the world if somebody just walked up to me and palmed five dollars in a handshake to it yeah it's a good thing yeah to will uh Somebody did it. With five dollars? With five pounds. Oh, that's more than five bucks. One and a half times as much. And I bought him a drink with it.

I said, hey, let's go over to the bar. Let's go. Yeah. Good for both of you. Yeah, but it was great. That's awesome. Because when he did it, I was like, oh, my God. This is really happening to you guys. Were there many people who listened to the podcast?

Yeah. Really? Yeah. Oh, nice. There was always, it seemed like every show or every other show, there was somebody that would say either during the show that they listened to the podcast or- And you were like, please be quiet. Yeah, please.

Shut up. This is a show. This is the dramatic part of the show. You're going to spook the squirrel shut up this is the time for the squirrel soliloquy oh nuts he's holding a tiny squirrel skull um yeah squirrel bow i hardly knew you um here's a question i had about scotland and i forgot to ask go ahead as a vegetarian how was that very good oh yeah like surprisingly uh easy i went to like a whole mess of vegetarian places and every place i went to had vegetarian all the vegetarian places had vegetarian yeah yeah but

like it's like every place that you could order haggis, which people eat there all the time. As a joke. Yeah, but it's not like how- It's on a dare. You wouldn't get back bacon once a day here in Canada. Right, right, right. We don't drink maple syrup with every meal. Yeah, but they do eat haggis a lot there.

But every place that had haggis had veggie haggis also that you could sub in, which was just oats. Yeah. Inside a sheep's stomach? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Inside a squash stomach. Oats. had veggie haggis also that you could sub in, which was just oats. Inside a sheep's stomach? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Inside a squash stomach. Oat guts. It was inside a hollowed out jack-o'-lantern. Jack-o'-lantern. Bag of guts.

Yeah, but it was really good. At Edinburgh, it's a pretty, it's a happening place. It's a happening place. I dig it. I's a happening place. It's a happening place. I dig it. I dig it a lot. Now, if it overheards and sent in, you want to send one in. You can send it in to spy at maximumfun.org.

And this is the first one. It comes from Chris H. Chris H., this is one half of a telephone conversation from the office next to mine. I'm assuming it was between him and one of his family members. So these are all separated by listening, I think, to the answer. What do you mean it won't start? How deep was the water you drove through? What do you mean it was up to the hood?

You blew up the engine, you fucking idiot. So that's somebody who just drove the whole car. Into a lake. Yeah. Yeah. I thought it was one of them floating cars. It's working, it's working. Some empty BS cars.

I thought it was James Bond's working, it's working. Some amphibious cars. I thought it was James Bond. Oh, that's great. You always see that on the news whenever there's a flood. There's always some dude in a truck that drives like... Jag off who's trying to, yeah. Yeah, some people make it, don't they? Yeah, I think you have to have one of those things. It's the exhaust pipe that messes you up.

Like once the water covers the exhaust pipe and fills the car. Yeah. Because I know when they do whatever. Oh, fuck. What's that? What's that? There's like the, they all drive like Range Rovers and Land Rovers and they drive through

like the jungle. Like there's some, and all the, all the cars have like camel cigarette logos all over them. There's like some race. It's like the Dakar rally. Oh, okay. Jungle. Yeah. Jungle rally.

And they all have their exhaust pipes that go up. They go up the side. Yeah. So they can drive through all the water. Good thinking. There you go. You don't even have a driver. Man, you're more equipped to be a driver than most of us. Some dumb 16-year-old, that's for sure.

I can't believe 16. It seems sitting in a room full of 16-year-olds, it was a little bit scary. Yeah, yeah. I've always just kind of taken it for granted. Like, 16's the age you can drive. But then when you said that it's 18 somewhere else, I was like, that makes more sense. Yeah. Yeah.

Better. Better for everyone. Yeah. Anyways, this next one comes from Ashley W. This is from the Midwest. She's from St. Louis. Oh, the... Meet me in St. Louis. Yeah. I don't know. Gateway town. She's from St. Louis. Oh, the... Meet me in St. Louis.

Yeah. I don't know. Gateway Town. Yeah. Archville. Yeah. I don't know if it has a nickname. Yeah, it does.

The Blues. Blues City. Blues-ton. John Hamm from St. Louis? Yeah. Hamburg. I love St. Louis. This is overheard at a local restaurant in St. Louis.

And from that point, I always thought that a bologna sandwich caused cancer. From what point? Who knows? If you have bologna and bread separately, you're fine. Different story. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely. What is bologna?

Is it a, is it a ham? It's a ham we don't think highly of. It's a low ham. It's phony. It's a low grade ham. Low hemming. You can't make jerky out of it. No.

Well, you can make jerky out of anything, can't you? Can't you just take a lady's purse and just dry it out and add some salt? I mean, a purse is jerky, isn't it? Yeah, I guess. It's wearable jerky. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just really chewy. You've noticed this.

um i you've noticed this on our our oven there uh when you try to cook something it says you must select the setting and it's all digital so it's not like on a knob you just scroll through the things yeah and there's like bake and broil and one of the things is dehydrate i'm not sure how to do that or like you should put mango slices in there and just set it on dehydration. You should make sun-dried tomatoes. And I'm sun-dried in air quotes. Yeah. Yeah, just dried tomatoes. You wouldn't order that.

How long do you dehydrate in an oven? It's not a Ronco product. Oh, yeah. Did that ever work, the Ronco thing? It must have. But didn't it take forever? I don't know. We had neighbors who used to have one and they would keep it outside their front door.

Like, it must have stunk. Like in banana chips? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Why? Yeah. Like, it just attracted so many flies because it was just like fruit. But then why would you leave it outside?

You're dehydrating flies. I think it must have been a smell issue. Or it was just a couple who was fighting. Like, every time they fight, she puts this dehydrator outside. I don't want us to fight in front of the turkey jerky. I just remember that being the big selling point, that you could make turkey jerky. And I was like, well, is that good? Because dry turkey, everybody complains about it.

Put some gravy on this dry turkey. Why would you want turkey jerky? Which of the Ronco products, did you ever have any of them? I bought the, without knowing it was a Ronco product, I bought it at a garage sale, the Pocket Fisherman. Which tells you where fish are? Yeah, it's a book. No, it's a... It's like a tiny little fishing rod.

Yeah, it was his first kind of thing, the pocket fisherman. What does it catch? Well, it's a fishing rod. But it folds up into a little tiny thing. It's like a telescopic thing. Yeah. It's got a whole bunch of things. And you can put it in your pocket.

And then it's not for fishing in people's pockets. Right. It's for pickpocketing. Yeah. It's a thing so you can touch your wiener and nobody knows. Sure. Pocket pool player um what because he did the uh he did hairspray yeah the spray on here there's actually a new one of those that i that they have ads for it on youtube and what's it called it's it's not ron but it's like. I met a guy who uses it. Does it look good?

Yeah. Like, I mean, you know. This new stuff is you rub it on and it's this powder you rub it on, but it looks amazing in the ads. Yeah, that's what this guy uses it for when he's on television. But like the one on the. Donald Trump was his name. The Ronco one. It's like the people had a little bit of hair.

This was like completely bald people and it was amazing. What was it called? It sounded like another word. Gak. I'm not going to get it. Hullabaloo. Hullabaloo. Hulligully.

Hulligully. Hulligully. Do the Hulligully. This last one comes from a gentleman named David. What? Who lives somewhere in California and is a physician. Dr. David. Dr. David California.

That sounds like a... Red Hot Chili Peppers song? Dr. Dave Go? No, it sounds like promotional consideration provided by... Dr. David California. And associates. All your best eight-button suits. For some reason, I imagine they sell

Steve Harvey suits. He's still alive, right? Steve Harvey? Yeah, he's still hosting Family Feud. He doesn't have a mustache, though. Oh, yeah, that's what I was thinking. I was thinking he passed away, but I'm just thinking about his mustache. R.I.P. So this is, I'm a physician.

And when meeting an older man in the clinic yesterday to discuss his urinary problems, I asked, does it hurt when you urinate? To which he happily replied, no, I like it. It's what I live for. Pretty great. Pretty great. Pretty great, old man. Yeah. Yeah. Thanks, old man thanks old man best well and then you

think about it you're like yeah that is one of the things i live i mean if i didn't i would want to die yeah oh yeah i've held it for a long time and been like kill me yeah yeah yeah but then i'd be embarrassed that like oh i'm dead and i probably i'm letting go yeah oh yeah that's true yeah what was that wasn't there I feel like there was a kids in the hall sketch about like a group of like it was like

an AA meeting but for people who had decided not to pee anymore and Bruce McCullough's character like said yeah it happened again I passed out

somebody came into my room and peed all over me pretty great I think we talked briefly about this phenomenon in the last episode about holding your pee yeah it's isn't it there's like i mean i know there's a bunch of urban myths around it like if you do it it'll make your kidneys explode and stuff surely the the body has safeguards before that happens like it wouldn't make you pass out so that then you would pee? Oh, I don't know. Doesn't your body have a bunch of trap doors and checks and

balances? Sure, yeah. Comes out your butt or something? Yeah, you just start crying pee. Dave is not impressed. In addition to all of our words that are written in, we also accept your phone calls. If you want to call us, our phone number is 206-339-8328.

Hello, Graham, Dave, and most likely a hilarious guest. That's me! This is Mitch calling from Vancouver, and I haven't overheard for you. I was at Granville Island, which is a touristy-type marketplace and shopping area on the water here in Vancouver. Lots of galleries and trinket shops and whatnot. I was following behind this older couple, maybe in their early 60s or so, and the woman kept slowing down to look in shop windows until eventually she said to her husband, oh, I just have to go into this store. And the husband immediately stopped, looked to the sky,

threw his arms up in the air, and with great exasperation, loudly exclaimed, you're killing me! You're tearing me apart! Lisa! Yeah. Oh, wow. It was that guy. That's pretty great.

I thought that that was a not-true-ism that advertisers still kept up. They're like, men who don't like shopping. But it's still... Yeah. Based on reality. Yeah, I guess so.

I would also see like a six-year-old boy saying that. Yeah, totally. Men and women are from different planets. They're different. Yeah, that's true. Kind of. What would you say? Men are kind of like from Jupiter?

Yeah. Because they go there to get stupider and women are from uh neptune because uh something well how could you be mad about pete i know i'm not happy with myself i can be unhappy with all three of us yeah that's true you can do angry all by yourself. Yeah, but we're, yeah, shopping, it's better to split up. Yeah.

And he just says something. Break up. Yeah, it's better to split up. We're on a break while you're shopping. Yeah, I'm going to see other people while you're shopping. People who aren't shopping.

Yeah. Yeah, I don't, is there, like, are there still lady stores that have a chair for a guy to sit in oh yeah and granville island's like the worst yeah there's so many shitty stores that no nobody wants to go into let alone like oh maybe my mom would yeah my mom wants to win all of them never mind do they have broom that broom store still yeah it's all uh fit to be broom like handmade brooms handmade brooms you Handmade brooms.

You got to do that dance. You got to do the slop. Yeah. No, we are broom only. They have, it's like artisanal brooms and then wooden things that you broom into. Best bands. Thank you. And then, but that's it.

And that's the whole store. And it's still open. It's still in business. Yeah. That's it. And that's the whole store. And it's still open. It's still in business. That's wild. What planet do we live on? Yeah, only Granville Island because it's all full of artists and studios and handmade things. Is that the silliest store on Granville Island? I don't know. I don't go.

I go whenever my parents are in town. I go. But yeah, that sounds like the silliest store in existence. Yeah, but it feels like it could be outdone by it. Like there might be just a store that just sells seashells. Right. Whereabouts? Well, it's not by the seashore, ironically.

They're shipped in from a seashore. She used to sell. Now it's just a guy who sells them. They import them from China. It's not the same. Here's your next phone call. Go on. Hello, Dave Graham, possible guest. I'm phoning in with an overheard.

Last weekend there was a public concert in Copley Square here in Boston. I was on a side street. Family was passing me by and I caught a snippet of a mother patiently explaining to her young child, no, that's music, not a ghost. Once again.

What is it when I put my headphones in? That's music. They were walking through near a public concert and you know when you sort of hear music wafting over from far away especially through city blocks

and you don't know where it's coming from you never think it's a ghost you think it's white people playing reggae it's almost exclusively white people playing reggae do you find that when you hear that you must get as far away as possible or do you find that you're when you hear that you're like must get as far away as possible or do you drift towards you know i don't drift towards abby i would

probably also drift away yeah but do you drift or do you run i would actively turn away what if you heard a sound that you're pretty sure was a marching band would you stay in one place and see if it was marching away from you or wait to see if it was coming towards you? Because you could be accidentally moving towards the marching band. It depends how... You could just also go into the nearest store. Go into the nearest broom store.

Do you guys have vacuum cleaners here? Get out! Or I would go see if there's a store that makes handmade giant drums that you carry on your chest. And then I would join the marching. And just join in. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. I think that's on my bucket list, to just join in a marching band. Like, just walk in. The Fugitive. Yeah, The Fugitive. Doesn't he grab a trombone out of the garbage can to start playing? He puts a hat on, I think. No, I think it was a trombone.

Okay. And I think he does a solo. I think they all stop. Yeah. And he sings. He swims and shaves. Yeah. And his dad almost sees him.

Then Doug Shane kicks in and it's over. Yeah. That was the fugitive, right? Yeah. What was this character's name? Dr. Richard Kimball. Yeah, Richard Kimball's day off. He shaves, he's got a big bushy beard in the beginning of that.

And then he shaves it off and nobody recognizes him. Oh, he also dyes his hair. Oh, yeah. He also takes up, plays in a... Why didn't he put on giant glasses? Like novelty, those novelty sunglasses? Yeah. Well, yeah.

No one will notice. Hey, who's that party guy? Yeah, that's one of the best shaving scenes in a movie. Oh, yeah. Well, also, what's the one? Royal Tenenbaums. Royal Tenenbaums. That's one of the only beard shaving scenes.

And they're both done under duress. No, there's got to be another famous beard shaving scene. Because that's the standard thing is you see a guy with a giant beard that means... He's been living in the forest

for a year and he got to come back to avenge his partner's death or something. Yeah. Yeah, Rambo. Maybe Wolverine.

Jack O'Ranian. The aforementioned Tom Hanks, The Terminal. Yeah, The Terminal. He has to shave it off before... What was the one

where he's on the island? Cast Away. Survivor Man. But those are the only two ones that stand out to me. Yeah, that's true. But that's how, the times I've had a beard, that's how I like, I was like, oh, that's

how you shave a beard. You get scissors out, and you trim it, and then you shave it. Yeah, you can't just go at it with a razor. Well, or could you? But neither of them have clippers. Well, no, he did it pretty primitively. It was under duress. Yeah, yeah.

He wasn't at home. He was being chased by a train at the time. It's true. Through a pipe. He was being chased by both Tommy Lee Jones and Train through that pipe. Driven by a one-armed man. Yeah, which had a parade going through it at the same time. Oh, they should just remake The Fugitive in one scene.

They should remake it, but with somebody less likable than Harrison Ford. Someone you root against? Yeah, like any of the actors that are famous now. Any of them. You know, like how they made Total Recall. With Colin Farrell? Yeah, like somebody give Colin Farrell status. You think Colin Farrell is less well-liked than Arnold Schwarzenegger?

Yes, I believe that to be true. Okay, I agree. Yeah. Although... He's so handsome, though. Is he? They're both so handsome. Yeah, that's true. They that's true crazy yeah who's more

handsome yeah i mean all in feral uh arnold schwarzenegger or colin hanks oh it's a it's a toss-up yeah with a three-sided coin but i think um i know that uh arnold Arnold Schwarzenegger has gotten more women pregnant. Oh, that's true. More than Colin Hanks? I don't know. Here's your final phone call. Hi, this is Spencer from San Francisco again, calling from the School of Rock that I work at, you may recall, from a previous overheard. This one started as speaking to me and then turned into an overheard.

An adorable 10-year-old girl who plays drums here at the school were playing a Bob Marley song at summer camp. She came up to me and asked me, Hey, Spencer, is Bob Marley dead? And I said, He is no longer alive. And then she walked away into the other room and when she was out of my earshot or so she thought, I heard her say

winner! Oh, you're thinking of Jacob Marley from the Dickens class. Yeah, he's still alive. Was he calling from a gymnasium? I think he might have been calling from an underground lair. Was it a hallway or something from his school?

It sounded like a parking lot. Yeah, it sounded like a gym to me. Or an airplane hangar. Or maybe they have like an echo chamber in the recording studio of the School of Rock. Yeah, because that's what you want when you're recording things is echoes and sound to bounce off things. There's some use for it.

In echoey music. Yeah, like Enya. Sigur Rós. Sigur Rós. Those monks, those chanting monks. The 80s. Most of the music of the 80s. Yeah, yeah.

Max Headroom's solo album. When he broke off from the Talking Hits. Pretty good. So here we are at the end of another successful podcast. Now, Abby, now you're in the world of fashion. You're making your own fashion where can people find out more where can people see photos of things that you've made i have started a pretty substantial instagram account go on abby shumka all one word um i do a lot of updates

there also a lot of grandpa oh yeah there's a shit ton what a mug yeah and then everybody loves grandpa that's it's a tumblr yeah that's yeah and then everybody loves grandpa that's it's a tumblr yeah that's everybody loves grandpa that tumblr that's still going a little bit less so i try to try to remember to post there as well as instagram but instagram seems to be the my that's the future my preferred uh social networking site because it does it all for you right you take the thing like a picture write a a thing, put an emoji, there you go. There you go. Done and done. Done and done. Dave? Yeah? Anything? Oh, and also, Abby, we'll be

um, do you want to plug any of your driving? Oh, yeah. Watch for me. Yeah. Starting in September. Look both ways. Young drivers of Canada car. Yeah. Then what do you get? Do you get an L sticker? Yeah, I have an L now. Oh, you have an L now, then you get an N. Yes, and then I do a driving test and then I get my N. Yeah. For what do you get? Do you get an L sticker? Yeah, I have an L now. Oh, you have an L now, then you get an N.

Yes, and then I do a driving test, and then I get my N for novice, and then I have that for two years. Ay, ay, ay. Ugh. And then I have an F. What are you allowed to, are you allowed not to listen to, no pop, no pop, you're not allowed to listen to any top 40 hits while driving? Nope.

It's only cool jazz. One person in the car with you only cool jazz talk radio only isn't it some there's some crazy rule you're not allowed to drive over 60 kilometers an hour or something you're not allowed to drive at night yeah i'm not right now i'm not allowed to drive between like midnight and 5 a.m i always have to have a co-driver seems like the best time and that and nobody on the road and that person like the person who's driving with me, they can't have been drinking. They can't be on their phone. They essentially have the same restrictions that I do when they're driving.

Bummer for Dave. Bummer for Dave. And then when I have my end, I don't have those anymore. Or like, yeah, if I'm allowed zero alcohol, like there's no. I think it's fair that everyone should be allowed zero alcohol. Yeah. I don't understand why that's not a thing. I just watched the movie Flight yesterday.

Don't fly. Don't drink and fly. Okay. Spoiler. Before we go, I would just like to say thanks to Hulu Plus, where you can binge on thousands of hit shows anytime, anywhere. Get an extended free trial of Hulu Plus when you go to huluplus.com forward slash stop. Stop. Run.

Stop. It's based on our podcast name. Oh, not Jersey Shore? Five years ago? If people want to leave a comment on iTunes, say, hey, I like the show. I did it. Do it. Yeah. Yeah. Write the show i did it do it yeah yeah write that i did it do it yeah um and also go over to the blog recap at uh maximum fun.org to see uh pictures and videos relating to the content this year episode surely a clip of the fugitive jumping out of that pipe

yeah and hopefully that new kind of roll-on hair that I... You can find the name of, yeah. If I think of the name of that. Dr... David California's hair treatments. Hair treatments for... What was his deal? Oh, he loves to pee. It wasn't his deal.

Well. Close enough. And yeah, if you want to get in touch with us it's uh 206-339-8328 or spy at maximum fun.org stop sorry and uh thanks for listening and come on back next week for another episode of stop podcasting yourself MaximumFun.org Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Listener supported.