Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 29 - Charlie Demers

Episode Date: September 14, 2008

Big time hilario Charlie Demers returns to talk summer movies, Celebrity Crush Beret, and the stunt cast of Growing Pains. It's a 90-minute gigglefest... for us.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hi, everybody, and welcome to episode number 29 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark, and joining me here is five-time Edward R. Murrow Award winner Dave Shumka. Dan Lewis from Como News. How's it going, Dave?

I'm well, and how are you? Oh, I'm okay, except that we just got our first insult on our blog, and I don't care for it one bit. And joining us today, returning champ guest by popular demand, very, very funny man, will be... Well, I guess we don't need to plug the comedy festival, but maybe we should. But anyways, he'll be performing in the Vancouver Comedy Festival. He's won half of the comedy duo bucket. He's back here for another shot at the million-dollar prize. Charlie Demers.

Thank you very much, gentlemen, for having me back. When I was here, this was just a wee podcast, and now it's a... A global phenomenon. A global phenomenon. And I think I say, on behalf of all bumpers everywhere, keep podcasting yourselves. Thanks, Charlie. You didn't get the million dollar prize last time.

No, I didn't. You got greedy. Yeah, I did. You could have left with $32,000. You left with a goat. And a fist bump. Yeah, I did. You could have left with $32,000. You left with a goat. And a fist bump. Which is not nothing. That ain't for nothing.

It was an Islamic fist bump, I'd say. Yeah, it was a terrorist fist jab. A la Michelle Obama. Have you guys seen that clip that's going around the internet? I think it's from India. It's like an India reality show and the host slapped. History of Dance? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I did see that. Did you see that? It was a India. It's like an India reality show, and the host slapped. History of Dance? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I did see that. Did you see that? It was a guy. Revolution of Dance. So you think you can. That's why I lost the. So, sorry, a reality show from India. Host slaps.

Yeah, it was a very kind of beautiful woman host, and obviously there had been something bubbling up, and the guy said something to her. She slapped him first. In fairness, the show is called So You Think You're Untouchable. So You Think You Can Slap. He said something to her and then she slapped him and then he slaps her back. And security comes.

And then security piles on him. And he's crying by the end. But she started it. I would not have made the joke if I knew it ended with a woman getting hit by a man. He's like, eat the cake. Nobody remembers eat the cake, Tina. What's eat the cake? You remember the ads for What's Love got to do with it?

And the scene was Ike Turner is making Tina eat cake. And then Tim Meadows, who will also be at the Vancouver International Comedy Festival, used to go on Weekend Update as Ike Turner and go, Eat the cake, Kevin Neaton! I'm so sorry, Kevin Neaton. Every sketch he was like, oh, I made you a cake, Kevin. And he'd go, oh, no thanks, Ike. I'm watching my way. Eat the cake, Kevin. At the end of every sketch, he was like, oh, I made you a cake, Kevin. And he'd go, oh, no, thanks. I'm watching my way. Eat.

Eat the cake, Kevin. That was very good. Well, I guess we'll start off. We'll get back to getting zinged. But we like to start off our show each and every week with a little segment we call Get to Know Us. Get to Know Us. Get to Know Us. Charlie, what's going on? What's new?

I know it's been like a huge gap of time since you were here last. You worked all summer as a landscaper. It was awful. And the one silver lining to my summer was that my lovely wife gave me a shuffle for my birthday, which is at the beginning of...

I wasn't sure if you guys had any endorsement or whatever, so I was just going to leave it as shuffle. It could be any kind of shuffle. They have our business card. They know where to find us. She got me a Panasonic shuffle. And so I got to listen to... I think you had amassed a Fairbank, a Douglas Fairbanks podcast. We amassed a Douglas Fairbanks.

Did you do the landscaping at Pickfair? That's a Golden Age of Hollywood joke. Well done. That's a great joke. So yeah, I got to listen to spy all summer but for a few weeks it was like i was listening to probably an average of three a day which is too much it was too much yeah i mean not because you but it's only too much because feast and famine you listen to three that means next week i think it's just too much yeah it's too much chat enough is enough yeah we literally only would prescribe one hour a week anything

else is pushing it it's uh no because you know like i wasn't going to shows because i had to get up super early in the morning you didn't you didn't go and do any shows at all whole summer i literally i did like i did a show on the 22nd of June, which is the day before I started this job. Right. The next show I did was July 11th. Okay. I think I did another show at the end of July. And then in August I started doing shows a bit more regularly, but I literally like,

I probably did 10 shows all summer. You were up at what, like 6 in the morning or something ridiculous? Yeah. I had to be in Port Moody by 8 a.m oh my god do you have to take the train out there uh transiting yeah god damn it yeah no it was awful yeah stop podcasting yourself was my uh surrogate is uh yeah pomu all right it was my uh it was my uh surrogate green room if you will will. Nice. And I will. And you would.

And I did. And you did. So what's happening? It's happening more recently. Any hilarious stories? What's the newest with Charlie? Last time you were here, you had a colonic. Yeah.

That was the big news. I won't top the colonic. In fact, you might say, after the colonic, I sort of bottomed out. Oh, God. I forgot that I had a colonic last time. I've not gone in for any more. I kind of decided that it was unnecessary. I had so many scuba men down there anyway.

I don't have any super funny stories. I just got back from a wedding, but it was quite pleasant. Oh, yeah. You were on the island. Is that right? Yeah, I was on the island. And I was listening, actually, while I was listening to your brother's anecdote from the wedding he was at. Oh, the country music 105 or whatever?

anecdote from the wedding he was at oh the country country music 105 i was uh literally um using a rock to break a storm drain from a clogged unit at the place where i was landscaping so uh that was my summer yeah yeah it sounds pretty uh horrifying it was terrible it was the worst summer ever it really was a terrible summer. Did you see any movies? We never did our summer movie recap. Did you see any movies at all? I watched, whatchamacallit, Tropic Thunder and Batman. Yeah.

And that's it. Those were the big two that you were supposed to see. I never saw Tropic Thunder, but I plan on it. You could rent it. It's an easy rent. Yeah, but I don't want to wait. Yeah. We'll be fine.

Vietnam's... I saw Maid of Honor on the plane, and it was the worst movie. I'm going to say right now, I'm not old enough to have said that it's the worst movie I'll ever see. Yeah. But it's the worst. I'd say it's the worst movie I've seen up to now. That's the Patrick Dempsey one? Yeah. And because it's not bad enough to's the worst movie i've seen up to now that's the patrick dempsey one yeah

and because it's not it doesn't it's not bad enough to fall into the hilarious category yeah and there's no don't eat yellow snow but it has every yeah exactly that's from jack frost if you've never seen the movie jack frost which jack frost not the one with michael keaton the one with the killer snowman okay because here's the thing. The two elements that it has in it that I'm like, even as the whoever it was who wrote it must have realized while they were writing it oh, this is too shitty

to even, right? Because he's got the one friend who's like the black guy who's filled with, you know sexual advice. Yeah, and wisdom. You know, just natural, inborn wisdom. They combined the two Black Star characters. We need you to be raunchy and sage.

That's exactly... And it was the guy who played the blind guy on Becker. That was the... The lead singer from Hootie. Yeah, exactly. And then Patrick Dempsey, who I didn't even know who that was while i was watching the movie uh and then the girl is just you know stock cute girl number 14

not uh you know super cute no just she's just some cute girl michelle monag I believe, is her name. Sure. Is it going to matter? The author of the Monaghan Report? Yeah. I just want to say, if you can guess, and I don't know if I did this with the brother episode, but during Maid of Honor, he obviously realizes he's in love with the woman. Wait, what stands in the way of him realizing that? Oh, his own pride. Is she not his girlfriend? No, they're friends, right? They're friends.

That's why he's the maid of honor. And then how does he get... He leaves the wedding. How does he get back to the wedding? No, that's why it's called maid. He's the guy. No, no, but it's spelled maid. M-A-D-E.

Because he is maid of honor. That's the thing, too. Because he's in the mafia. They just fucked with their own idea with the title. I'm made, Your Honor. So he's the made of honor? No, he's made of honor, but he is the made of honor. He's Carmen and honor based.

So your question, go on. My question was, How do you think He gets back to the wedding It's in Scotland Golf cart No No You're

Some kind of Pumpkin That turns into a Carriage No because now You guys are going Too creative He's riding a collie

He gets Close He rides a horse Horse He comes on horseback Because that In Scotland They don't even have cars over there. On the count of the cobblestones.

Cars cannot drive on cobblestones. Oh, you guys have upped your game since I was here, though. Should be drinking this beer. I should have had a Red Bull. Speaking of beer, we are drinking Porter coffee-flavored beer from a brood in Toronto, Ontario. Small town. Its slogan is beer brewed with coffee. Yeah.

It should be. Its slogan should be beer that's about to be shut down by a lawsuit from Drew Carey. It is. It's very. What was it? It was Buzz Beer. You were saying earlier. It was based on a joke by Graham Clark.

But it was Buzz Beer was the name of it. Buzz Beer was the name. It was coffee and beer. I was surprised that that never. Those two things were big in the 90s coffee and beer yeah yeah and buzz beer that guy should buzz his upper lip yeah sorry dave you were talking about movies that you saw in the summer uh beer the two standout movies i saw this summer were Angelina Jolie in a movie about bending bullets. Made of bullets. Bend it like bullets.

So she's the maid of bullets? No, she cleans up the bullets like a maid. She's the maid of them. But she's also made of bullets. But not really made of bullets. Also, she's the maid of honor it's a wedding movie uh that was uh great uh the big that was great the big catchphrase in that uh is that it's well there are two big summer movies that had uh uh like really straight

laced celebrities swearing and that was one of them because it had Morgan Freeman and he said something like, Kill that motherfucker! Whoa! And the other one was Death Race. I didn't see Death Race, but Joan Allen refers to someone as a cocksucker. Wow.

I like that. So that movie was great. It was about assassins who took their... They got their assignments from a loom. From a loom? Yeah. Okay. A loom.

Morgan Freeman would read the threads on a loom. And go, this cocksucker can't weave shit. I remember in the 90s when every movie after pulp fiction had to have a character that was an assassin in it like it was something like milkman no just like a job that anyone would have it was always like oh from that movie milk money with ed harris yeah but you remember that whole thing was like whenever you wanted to make like a i want my comedy to be taken seriously so i'm gonna make the protagonist a hit man well yeah it was uh it was the high time of uh gross point blank that's the first that comes to mind right to get shorty falls in that same category and then there was like two days in the valley or yeah you know get shorty's slighter higher artistic merit than gross point blank

stay cool or be cool where John Travolta explains to Steven Tyler what sweet emotion means does that really happen? yes then he says

what Jamie did what did her daddy do? Yeah, sorry. I need to listen to more Errol Smith. Furthermore. That's true. I've said that about you many times. My other favorite movie this summer was Brendan Fraser 3D.

Journey to the Center of the Earth 3D. That wasn't the name of the movie. Yeah. Brendan Fraser 3D. I think it was. Check him shaving. Check out his plugs that seems to be like james cameron and a bunch of other like i think steven spielberg as well seem to think that 3d is the next wave of like that's that's what's going to bring movies back to the four because

they aren't making a barely they're barely getting by in Hollywood. They've all said, like, 3D's gonna be... Steven Spielberg made my coffee this morning at Blaine's. It was very dramatic. But... But, you know, why don't they just write a better movie instead of being like... of being like, let's get Brendan Fasier and we'll get him to go towards the screen and people will feel like he's about to land in his head.

There were about half a dozen times in the movie where something flies at the screen and you're like, whoa, that was pretty great. And the rest of the movie is like, oh, everything's kind of out of focus. Yeah. So that's what I mean. mean like 3d is not no well and it's not new but it wasn't yeah it was it didn't work in the 50s but you also you wonder like and these are the glasses i had oh those are pretty cool those are pretty cool those are actually like neat looking glasses yeah yeah i like them yeah they look like the kind that wow now you guys look 3d if they come back coming right now because of these these glasses are so nice i just don't okay you know how you have this thing of like oh can you like there's some guys like my comedies

to change things you know but comedy can't change anything because look like you know hack comedians have been telling jokes about comb-overs for 20 years. People still have comb-overs, right? If comedy could change anything, then the John Candy, like, the SCTV horror chiller 3D theater, that would have been the end of anyone ever doing anything in 3D. Yeah, you're right. It's so ridiculous. Yeah, you're right. It's nobody.

It's weird how people can be impervious to being made fun of, because I'm certainly not. No. If somebody makes fun of me, I'm like, maybe I should change that thing that I just did. I'm going to reconsider my life. They would always do the thing where they're eating, like, now we'll eat the spaghetti. And move the spaghetti towards the camera. And then come back. Yeah. Or they would just look at the camera. then come back yeah or they would just they would just

look at the camera they would just move themselves closer that happens in the movie the first like 3d thing is he's brushing his teeth and he spits in the sink and you get a sink eye view of his spit ew yeah whoa graham literally made the joke you watch watch Brendan Fraser shave in 3D. I haven't seen the movie. And then it turns out that's ridiculous, Graham. He brushes his teeth. Nobody's going to go see that. That's disgusting.

Yeah, that's no way to... I'd probably leave. I would literally... This is just going to be spit dodging. It's a romp. You see anything good, Graham? Yeah. I saw Batman.

Tropic Thunder I thought was really funny. Iron Man I liked. Everybody thought Batman was better. I thought Batman Begins was better than this one. I like this one. I like the whole Joker thing. The two faces. You know, he's dead now.

That actor? He's dead. Aaron Eckhart's dead? Yes. Jack Nicholson he was dead now. That actor? He's dead. Aaron Eckhart's dead? Yes. Jack Nicholson, he was talking about. Yeah. Caesar Romero. He hasn't completed his bucket list.

You both had good callbacks. I was just like, how can I say, wait till they get a load of me in heaven? They showed the 1989 Batman on TV this weekend. Yeah. I watched five minutes of it. That's it? And you were out? I'm like, Michael Keaton's not debonair.

He's more believable as Batman than as Bruce Wayne. Yeah. That's the one thing, the only complaint about the Batman movies that I have, is when Michael Keaton was Batman, he sounded really cool. When Christian Bale is Bruce Wayne, he's very Bruce Wayne. When he's Batman, he sounds like he needs to be on a ventilator. Because he's like, this is the problem with this. And I'm like, nobody in the movie would like Zio Donnell as Batman.

I don't understand that. Is Zio on a ventilator? I don't care for that. would like Rosie O'Donnell as Batman. It's, I don't understand that. Is she an event generator? I don't care for that. I don't know, it's just a hacky joke.

But, why, nobody in the movie seems to be like, why are you talking like that? Like, because nobody

would assume that this is your real voice. Oh, Batman. It's Richard Lett. It is Richard Lett. Richard Letard let that's his real voice um yeah true enough dave yeah let's get to know you well i guess we kind of have in a way but let's talk about our crazy adventure that we had this weekend oh what i wanted to talk about was last night's episode of chris angel

mind free save it no no no no no it was the biggest collection of creeps i've ever seen i had to write it down because there were so many creeps on it it was the celebrity episode featuring chris angel if that's not creep enough no and celebrity enough that's both ted nugent oh the nude Cheers? Yeah The black guy There was no black guy on Cheers No That's maybe the one show There was no token black guy

I keep picturing the black guy from Night Court What did he do? They tried to write one in In the last season Hey everybody Do you have any red striped beard? They tried to write one in in the last season. Hey, everybody! Do you have any red stripe beer? He's Jamaican!

He's a bastard! Oh, the possibilities of that storyline are endless. This is one of my many jobs! I'm here on a steel drum scholarship. Nugent. Nugent. Carrot top. Oh, yeah. The celebrity creep factor is rising.

Oh, how do you go creepier? Gene Simmons. Oh, God. He is. Have you seen that video? We talked about this. Probably. Video of him fucking the girl that's on the internet.

Jesus. I haven't seen it i've seen still he's he's fucking her too uh i think it's journey is playing in the background at least it's not kiss yeah like i would anticipate that he's always like hold on let me put on some music i mean i make a buck off this He charges her the royalty You did enjoy the song What's the I want to know what love is Was that Journey? No That's not Journey

That's like Irene Cara or something Maybe I'll get my wires crossed But I'm pretty sure it's Anthony Michael Hall He's not creepy I didn't think he was creepy either, except that he went to the camera. Double mind freak, boy. Oh, yeah, okay.

He could have. No, that's not creepy. That's douchebaggy. That's different. And the best thing, because it was... Remember that rapper, Douchebaggy? Douchebaggy Bank. The celebrities were doing tricks.

Anthony Michael Hall did this trick. That's tricks. And Chris Angel introduced him. And he introduced him by saying, he was in the Breakfast Club and a little show called Dead Zone. And he did the little show thing like you would do. It is a little show. A little show like Seinfeld.

Yeah. Which is kind of, oh, you can't do that. If he had done the little movie thing for breakfast club, then it would have made sense. If he's like, you may have seen him on The Dead Zone and a little movie called The Breakfast Club. You may have seen him on a little show called Little Mosque on the Clare. He's from a little show, Shaw Cables. Carolina

in the City. I've heard of Urban Rush. That'd be funny if you just said things like that and it just sounded like you were being that way but you actually meant like, you're like, he's wearing a little sweater that you might refer to as that one.

Or, you know, whatever the fuck. And finally, you get pulled over by a cop. You're like, I'm speeding to a little place I like to call home. I'm running this joke into a little place called the ground.

And the final guest who didn't fit at all because he seems like a really cool guy. Elvis Costello. What? And he showed him a card trick, and he said, oh, yeah, I actually learned this card trick from one of your DVDs. Elvis Costello collects Criss Angel DVDs and corrects them.

Wow, that's really... Because, yeah, the list all kind of made sense, and then you took kind of a weird turn with Anthony Michael Hall and then completely derailed it with the Elvis Costello. Carrot Top is, he makes sense because he's in Vegas and Chris Angel's in Vegas. Who was the first one again?

Ted Nugent. The Nuge. I didn't actually see his segment. Ted Nugent doesn't actually make a lot of sense in that context because he's nowhere near there and I don't think he likes magic. He must have signed a real bad deal in terms of royalties and stuff like that. I think he signed a bad deal in terms of his life. Can you name more than one of his songs, though?

Wasn't he in a band? He was in... What was the one with the... Was it Damn Yankees? Damn Yankees, yeah. Was that the super group he was in? Yeah, that was the super group. So he was in something before that.

He was the Nuge. No, he was Ted Nugent. But I think if you have like two, three singles. Our ignorance on Ted Nugent isn't going to lead us down the road. The only huge song he ever had was Cat Scratch Fever. That was his big... Which is a legitimate disease. Yeah, it is actually.

Cat Scratch Fever is a real disease that you can get. Really? Because my old boss actually got cat scratch fever. And I was like, when she got it, she was like... You were like... Yeah. Well, no, when she came in, I was like... And she said, she was like, I think my doctor told me I might have cat scratch fever.

And that's like, you know, like having your friend be like, my doctor told me I might have cat scratch fever. And that's like having your friend be like, my doctor told me I might have blue balls. It's not something that I'm like, that's not a real, like, I got boogie fever. Oh, yeah, oh, yeah, you got to put an ointment on that. If she just switched over to a new doctor, and that was the first diagnosis he had to give, but he was like, can you come back with some love for me? Because you're not going to believe that this is a real...

Jake just has a litany of hilariously named diseases. You've got... Football fever. Football fever. You've got football fever. I'm sorry. You've got March Madness. Okay, let's do the weekend.

What happened to you this weekend? We, you and I, Dave. And four other comedians? Four other comedians. We don't often get to perform on the same show out of town together. And we went to Gibson's, B.C. And we were playing in a movie theater. It was a great show.

The show was fantastic, but the accommodations were such that there was four of us who were to stay in one bed and breakfast and two of us would stay in another because there just weren't enough room. Sure. So Simon King and Carter Horte

decided to take the one with the two-person accommodation, which was quite close. I'd like to give a shout out to Carter Horte. I think he is an underappreciated very funny, very sweet and nice comedian. And not only that, Carter Horte, while

we're having a Carter Horte love it, he can do everything. He can fix a car. He's made his own fucking clothes. He could live in the woods. When the apocalypse comes, he's the guy that you clothes uh he's like he could live in the wood like he's when the apocalypse comes he's the guy that you want to be hanging out with because he'll know what berries are poisonous and whatever he's a survivalist yeah and he'll have carter hortay dvds yeah which

you'll want after to cheer you up yeah exactly he said he's funny he might know how to treat cat scatch fever cat scatch catatman fever yeah but anyways i interrupted with love in so they took the uh this place and we we first drove to where we were all gonna the four of us we're gonna stay it was me and sean proud love and future guest kelly dixon and dave oh man i would have loved to have been on this trip it was yeah no time and then we showed up and it was a bed and breakfast but it was made incredibly clear to us right off the bat that we would be making our own breakfast yeah which is like that's change your name yeah you're a bed yeah you are a bed bed with food like you're not actually breakfast. We had to make our breakfast. Bed with pancake mix.

And then we dropped, you know, we went over to where Carter and Simon were staying. It was a very nice house, and they got their own rooms, each of them. Like, it was four of us all in the same room at the bed and breakfast, except for one. Sean got his own room. Yeah, Sean got his own room, and then there was three of us all in the same room. But, you know, Carter and Simon had these beautiful rooms and there was a hot tub and a view of the water. It was gorgeous and they're talking blueberry crepes and all this shit. This is what we're going to make in the morning.

Do you guys read? We've got this selection of books. It was just crazy over-hospitable. But you're not going to read a book in a night. Come on. Let's get serious. The joke that everybody kept making was do you want to fuck my wife? this is my wife she's a reader

that's what he told us we got a lot of books here my wife's a reader and then we went we did the show and then everybody drank so there was nobody to drive the vehicle that we had which was parked at the gig we

were we would all been drinking and it was a work vehicle so there was no way of getting in it to drive it could you know nobody was sober so we called a cab which took forever because there was one there's one in all of that area and it came and picked us up And it was a $40 First it took Simon and Carter Back to their palatial days Which was two minutes away And then took us A 15 minute drive And dropped us off

And it was $40 We woke up in the morning Had breakfast Well that night We did have cable I don't think Simon and had breakfast. Well, that night, we should point out that we did have cable. I don't think Simon and... Oh, that's right. We had satellite, actually.

Yeah, so we watched Goodfellas from the beginning. And when Robert De Niro shows up at first and Ray Liotta in the voiceover says, he must have been about 27 or 28 at the time. And he's obviously in his late 30s. No, no, late 40s.

Yeah. On a ride back from a gig in Lethbridge to Calgary, we drove back that night, me and Dan Smith from LA and Justin Schlegel from Baltimore, Washington. And we just did Goodfellas lines For like about An hour and a half Oh wow Like for a huge

Part of the trip Was just Goodfellas lines It's you know It is Comics together It's fairly universal Yeah So we watched that

But then we woke up In the morning We had breakfast Made breakfast Had breakfast And then we called The cab company And Sean Proudlove

Called the cab company And said Well this is where we're at And the cab company Disp Sean Proudlove called the cab company and said, well, this is where we're at. And the cab company dispatch, which I'm pretty sure was also the driver, just said, well, why don't you give me a call back in 20 minutes and tell me where you're at, which meant I'm not coming to pick you up. So we were like, well, we'll walk to where the bus stop is. Yeah, we walked to the highway where the bus stop was. Which was a half an hour walk unto itself. And then we realized there is no bus coming at all.

And we ended up walking three hours back to where the car was parked in the blazing heat. Like, nobody was ready for it. Sean got burned. You got burned. Yeah, but I wore shorts at least. Yeah, I was wearing jeans and I was carrying a suit jacket. At the beginning of the trip you were wearing the suit jacket. Yeah, it literally

looked like Ryan Seacrest had melted. I don't care for that at all. I don't know. It looked like the very kind of like, you know, people who aren't equipped to deal with the elements whatsoever.

That's what we were. We got a lot of honks along the way. Did some girls stop? People who'd seen the show? No, people slowed down until you called us faggot. There must have been people who saw the show, though. There was that guy at the IGA that we saw many hours later. But people who drove past us must have seen the show

and thought not to pick any of us up. Oh, many, I'm sure. In fairness, there were how many of you? Four? Four of us, yeah. That's a hard number for pickup. Yeah, but we only need one person to go pick up the car. Oh, good call.

Well, but they didn't know that. That's true. And also, then we ran into that guy at the IGA, and he nearly ran into me with his cart. He said, ooh, almost got you there. Like you got me last night. And I was like, holy shit. I didn't recognize him at all, but it was a guy I made fun of who was in the front row. Oh, the really tall guy?

No, the guy that had the mustache and the white hair. Bill Leotardo? He doesn't have a mustache. I'm cutting that out. Actually, can you cut out the melting Ryan Seacrest, too? We'll see. It's an adaptation of a Simpsons joke. When they see Grandpa Simpsons,

they go, I thought Dad had melted. Yeah, that's right. But I don't see how I would become a melted Ryan Seacrest. Sports jacket and jeans. Because he's the guy who brought that back. No, he isn't. Come on. Don't give him that much credit. Go look it up. I guarantee you, you will not find a pop culture

between 96 and then the now. The only person who re-got that going. From Joey Lawrence. He picked up where Joey Lawrence left off. I thought that it was... Alright, well, he's got a jumping off point. Yeah, but I thought it was the Strokes brought that back, because they were all suit jacket and jeans.

Yeah, but they're not as popular as Seacrest. Seacrest can really... What Seacrest is famous for is taking what the Strokes do. And making it the tipping point. He's like the Dick Clark of his... He literally is the Dick Clark, because he does all of the gigs that Dick Clark used to do. He also does some of Casey Kasem stuff.

Casey Kasem. Do you know that Casey Kasem is like a radical racist leftist? Oh, really? He, along with Ed Asner and Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins, he's one of the board members of the Fairness and Accuracy in Reporting, their magazine and stuff. No, he's a neat guy. Yeah, not me. Go to your local library.

I'm on the other side of that. Yeah, you're on the bottom 40. I once bought a deck of cards from Newsmax, which is this very right-wing organization that gives news, I believe. And cards. To the max. right-wing organization that gives news i believe had cards and to the backs they were the only people selling the uh iraqi uh like oh nice like osama or not the song like uh yeah yeah so i'm saying is the ace yeah exactly aziz is the king yeah that kind of thing uh but they also had these the weasels cards and there was like these americans who opposed the war and they were all weasels and they put uh they put us and every deck did they try and make them look like weasels like

did they trip no no no every picture in the deck has uh i think i think it has everyone with a uh like a saddam hussein beret on so there's Susan Sarandon and But Susan Sarandon in a beret Maybe that Iraq guy No such a bad plan after all yeah Because I believe that Adam Hussein just his policy was berets for everyone Berets for all so you're like well yeah it's the one thing you took away from his years at the sore bone uh so shall we move on to overheard yeah let's do it

overheard yeah welcome to overheard and if you've never heard the show before, Overheard are things that you may have heard on the bus, in line, somewhere. And by you, I mean us. Yeah. Although we do have one that a listener, a bumper, wrote in, and it's actually really funny. But Charlie, being the guest, will throw it to you to be the first Overheard. Okay. Well, I had a couple this summer um that i was super excited about but then i i told you about them i told you both about them and then the problem is like a

great do you remember either of them no no meaning what i might as you're telling them so it sort of removes the spontaneity but also neither of you seem to think it was particularly funny so then i also got the edit that explains why I don't remember it. Yeah. It's because, you know, all that time alone, like, I think I kind of lost my sense of... So, here's one that I hope works. This was... I did Paul Anthony's show at the Biltmore. Yeah.

And Paul Anthony, wonderful guy, has, for some reason... His show is called Talent Time. His show is called Talent Time. Filmmaker soon, right? Playwright, filmmaker. He's turning the same role. Yeah, he's all over the map. He's certainly all over the map.

He has a real hipster appeal for some reason. His constituency is almost all hipster. I like that you say it's a constituency. That makes it sound like it's pretty official. It's right. His company riding is mostly hipsters. He's gerrymandered quite a few hipsters into it. But I find it odd,

because Paul is actually quite politically committed, and he's very sincere. Does that, to be a hipster, mean no political leanings whatsoever? Mostly. Or like, isn't there kind of a, oh, politics, that's so gay. Let's just dance and do cocaine. Don't you think? Yeah, okay.

I think it's part of it. Yeah, I think you might be on to something. So, there were a couple of fairly dreary hipster types at this show. And the excellent Sunday service got up to warm up the crowd. Yeah. And they came out onto the stage and they were like, hey, guys, just pre-show sort of warm up. And I was standing behind these two girls in the back. And one of them went, is it time to clap now?

It's just too much. I don't believe in nothing. It really does. It's weird because it's a whole different time and place, but really reminds me of that one quote from The Simpsons where they're watching a band and the guy goes, and he goes, Oh, this guy, he's great band and the guy goes, oh, this guy, he's great.

And the guy goes, are you being serious or sarcastic? I don't know anymore. No, that's exactly what I thought of. It was so... Is it time to clap? Are we going to do that clapping thing?

What am I, in an audience? Good. How retarded am i yeah oh that's really good yep that brings up an interesting point how retarded am i how retarded are you on a scale of yeah um on a scale of 10 being quirky zero being normal quirky on a scale of well he's not that retarded. We were talking about it over the weekend. He had sex. Had you ever seen the episode where Corky had sex with his girlfriend?

Never seen an episode of Corky. From Corky and the Juice Pigs? I was about to say, I've never seen an episode of Corky and the Juice Pigs. When I was in grade 8, I had an autographed picture of Corky and the Juice Pigs. I'm pretty sure they never mailed out... How many autographed pictures could they have mailed out How many autographed pictures Could they have mailed out? Not a ton

They must remember me fondly Dave, you haven't overheard? I haven't overseen as I seem to A lot Yeah, you use your eyes You don't hear no evil See much evil I'm a visual learner

See mucho evil See mucho evil see mucho evil uh there seemed to be in my neighborhood a lot of people writing uh with chalk on the sidewalk i noticed that last couple weeks i'm i'm pretty sure it's not all kids. Because of my overwork. There were some construction workers I saw kind of snagging off. Well, there was someone... Do you have fries with that shake? It saves me a lot of time.

If the chicks could just read it themselves. Yeah, get back to me. And me yelling it out. I did get involved in a construction worker Stare off with a lady Who was walking by just coming here today There was about five of them and me on the I was the street level reporter like It's as good as what you think up there

This is Graham Clark This is Graham Clark down here on the street Yeah that ass does shake like the picket does You would like to tap that It's a great o'clock down here on the street. Yeah, that ass does shake like the picket does. You would like to tap that. Well, down the street from me, there was one person who wrote on the sidewalk, gay car and an arrow pointing to a car. But you can just park any car there.

You can move your car if someone thinks you're gay. So all of a sudden now your car is gay and you had no idea. But that's not my official overseen. That's pretty good. What I saw, school started up last week after being out for the summer. Yeah. And forever from what I was told by Alice Cooper. This episode brought to you by Rock. Yeah.

1976 to 1983. Rock's finest eccentrics, Gene Simmons, Ted Nugent, and Alice Cooper. There was, so yeah, school started up, and next to one of the schools that I walk Grandpa past, I walk him past four or five schools every day. One of the schools that I walk Grandpa past, I walk him past four or five schools every day. Someone had written, yeah, so there's a school in there and there's just like half a street worth of houses. And on the sidewalk outside the second house away from the school, someone had written on the sidewalk, talk to strangers, save the world.

Oh, Jesus. Wow. Look at thatez I don't even know what that means I think they're just trying to get the kids to save the world or get them in their van or trying to get people to watch season 1 of Heroes that's their ground grassroots campaign

we have a grassroots campaign sidewalk market um wow that's um effed up that's either that's one of three things no head ped okay that's number one pedestrian pedestrian or peed um two is like sneering kind of sarcastic like hey look at this can you believe i'm writing this like talk to like the guys who are right the i'll shop at t-shirt hell.com and then write that down neighbor hoodies yeah um or three because we're in east Van, could be hippies, saying, don't lock yourself in a little family-imposed prison, man. It may have been. I subscribe, I think, to the hippies. Yeah, because the house that it was in front of had those flags. Were they Nepalese or Tibetan?

Oh, Tibetan flags, yeah. Tibetan prayer flags. Yeah, I think you've hit the nail on the head. I was, here's my overheard situation. I was in Victoria. We did the Debaters on CBC. It was a lot of fun.

Super fun. We were in a World War I era theater. It was so cool. It was gorgeous, and they put us up at this super nice hotel. And theater was at its best in World War I. It's true. Hey, you ever notice how trenches always... That's all.

I can't come up with theater. For what play did you ever notice how trenches dot, dot, dot? No, that's still a stand-up comic. Just in World War I. What's the deal with the schleifen plan? Yeah, yeah. I had to lock my footlocker because I got too much trench foot.

And everyone's like, I can relate. It's so true. World War I was a high time stand-up comedy. And the microphones were about the size of a sunflower. And you blocked out most of the comic spaces. So I was in Victoria. I was on the bus.

And if you've never been to Victoria, B.C., very senior kind of based society. Lots of seniors. Newlywed and nearly dead. Not sure about the newlyweds. But definitely nearly dead. And I was on the bus. I had to take the bus clear across town. And there was a guy at the bus stop.

And I knew this was going to be a situation when I saw him. He had a motorcycle mustache. Would you call this the handlebar? Sure. Like the Hulk Hogan. And he was wearing a captain's hat. And I was like, well, this is going to turn into a situation at some point. And we got on the bus.

And there was a crazy guy who seemed very kind of over-medicated and you know you could tell there was something wrong with him and he was sitting in the preferred senior seat right now i just got on walked all the way to the back of the bus and uh you could see that the the captain there was getting in an argument with the guy because he was taking up, he was a big guy, he was taking up two seats and that guy stood up and screamed in his face, you're not the captain of this bus!

I was like, oh! Where's my pen? Was it David Lee Roth? The sad downturn is it was David Lee Roth. What if, eh? You're not the captain of this bus. Charlie, as I understand it, you have another overheard.

Well, I have an overseen. I don't know how funny it is. Never mind. No overseen? No. Do it. Don't be a dick. I went in and got one of those, whatchamacallits, where you run on the treadmill and they measure you.

Like with the bionic man test. Little pods on it. EKG. A Dolph Lundgren. The 50 cent test. Dolph Lundgren. You guys are on fire. And so I went in to get one of those.

Ivan Drago? Is that the character? Yeah, Ivan Drago. He's like a piece of steel. Am I thinking of a different movie? He plays a guy named Drago in about eight different films. Anyways. So... Sorry!

I'm Terry Drago. Has anybody heard about the new Jean-Claude Van Damme movie that's coming out? Where he plays himself? Yeah. It looks fucking awesome. Is there a trailer? I have not heard anything about this. there's a trailer online it's called jcvd yeah and it's about him venereal disease speaking of his venereal disease go on but but i don't know did he give a girl the muscles from brussels no no no in uh i was watching replplicant. I think it came out in 2001. A movie of his that went straight to DVD where he plays a replicant of himself. And I was watching the Jean-Claude Van Damme commentary over his straight to DVD movie. And he referred to himself as Mr. VD.

VD movie and he referred to himself as Mr. VD. I like that. But then he corrected himself because obviously someone had told him, don't say that. Please stop calling yourself Mr. VD. Mr. JCVD. But go on. Yeah, JCVD. I saw the preview and it's literally about him being an over the hill action star and being an over-the-hill action star and it and he's moved back to brussels and how he can't he's got no money and his fucking wife is trying to divorce him and he's you're trying to get uh

custody of the kid and it looks fucking hilarious because it shows him like shooting this like b or c class movie and the director's trying to give him motivation. But he's an old guy, right? It looks really, really funny. And it's written and directed by him. Is it a comedy? It's a comedy, but it's a... To the very day.

But is he really all those things? Is his wife really leaving him? He's really got no money? I don't know. That's what the movie's about. He's got a place in Vancouver. He's got a place in the Wall Center center he's always got a place in vancouver as long as i live he's got a place in my heart he wants to crash yeah jean-claude van damme through my wall jean-claude van damme is the kool-aid man i'm sorry i totally didn't mean to derail your overseeing but i just it's not particularly good i went don't build it up too much i got this ekg thing or whatever and like oh yeah you know the people who do that those are like cardiologists

like the doctor who's it like and he had where was this sorry and why metro town i had a i had a um panic attack while i was in uh while i was on tour in the spring I had this like crazy panic attack like I took a cab to the emergency room I thought I was dying yeah I was that'll induce a panic attack yeah yeah seriously it's the worst so it was very Allah J Moore gasping for airtime sure narrative similar experience read your comedy books everybody yeah and everybody turned to page 28 yeah turn to the page where he talks about the panic attack you flip through it like one of those flash animation well not flash animation that's on the computer anyway we can cut all this can we so i go into

the cardiologist i just want to make sure everything was okay and he's got like this magazine like you know doctors have magazines but he's got this crazy religious magazine and like the the cover of it said something like it was like it said no more miracle wars and then there was like four is Israeli, like the silhouettes of four Israeli soldiers, like one underneath the year, like 1948. And he's like, yeah. And one underneath the year, 1967. He's like, woo. And then there's one of the Lebanon, 2006.

And he's like on the ground crying. And I flipped it open. I think I'm lost. So the magazine is called The Trumpet news through a biblical lens and the lead editorial is all about how Israelis haven't been praying as much

and that's why they've started losing wars and it's like you're a cardiologist I depend on you to understand yeah one to be jewish but two to understand like cause and effect so if you're if your thing is like israel started losing wars prayers are weak then like if you're looking at my heart, you're going to be like, oh, there's a problem with your heart.

I think it's hobgoblins. Like, what's your... Have you been wishing? Have you been letting your fingers come uncrossed? How many cardiologists belong to the Church of Jesus Christ the Scientist?

No transfusions for anyone. Poor transfusion needers. But the thing in all, that was very funny over to you, by the way. But in all fairness, I've been in doctor's offices where the magazines are as inappropriate, you know, like... Swank. Yeah. Lots of... Perfect ten.

Like, well... Barely legal. Maybe in a lawyer's office that would work. That's really funny. Write it down. I can't believe you're sending this out for free. But, yeah, seriously. This comedy gold. And then we got zinged on our own blog. I can't believe you're sending this out for free. But yeah, seriously.

This is comedy gold. And then we got zinged on our own blog. We got honest to God zung. But I think it was just a... Like a kind of a friendly jab? It was friendly fire, for sure. But I think basically, if you hadn't replied, I would have said, just pretend it didn't happen. But someone on our blog wrote... Because everybody who has sent us messages about the podcast have been overwhelmingly positive.

Yeah, like we're in the Special Olympics. One of the overheards that I wanted to do was actually from a listener because it made me laugh. You'll like it. Well, that's good. Let's hear it. But someone did ask why we weren't doing a comedy podcast considering we have so many comedians involved in the podcast

that was the burn that we got hilarious let's find it it's an overheard from a guy named Eric Moody I don't know where Moody is from but I can't really read the screen can you read it where you're

sitting from i'm not much of a reader okay here we go this is the this is the uh the message that we got sent from eric murdy says uh hey guys i had what i thought was a good overheard the other day i was at school usf and saw a girl on a cell phone who was visibly upset while huffing down a cigarette she looked like one of those girls who had done way too many beer bongs way too many times at whatever frat house. And she was dressed in an extremely short skirt and a shirt that was a little too tight. It's not like she

was fat, but those clothes would probably fit like five pounds ago before the beer bongs. You know that line where a girl crosses from attractive to skanky because the clothes are a little too tight? I think we're all familiar with that line. This is an aspiring novelist. She was right in that

wheelhouse. That's my favorite line of this email. She was right in that wheelhouse. Anyways, I walked by her and all I heard was a very emphatic no, you do not wear purple to a black and white party. Which I love. Thank you very much for sending in that overheard.

Eric Moody. I would imagine that's University of San Francisco. Yeah. USF? Yeah. Or University of Simon Fraser. No. Or Southern Florida.

Oh, Southern Florida could be. I don't know. Now that you're global in reach. Yeah. It could have been. University of. It's like Gene Simmons trying to figure out who he got herpes from southern france southern france um uh shall we move on to another segment yeah you betcha let's uh yeah by request by uh charlie demers he would like to do a round of stunt casting are you an actor are you looking for of stunt casting. Are you an actor?

Are you looking for work? Stunt casting. Stunt casting. Stunt. Stunt casting. Powder. Danny DeVito. Taxi Cab.

The Movie. Danny Glover Martin Short Anyone in the movie Pure Luck Stunt Casting Charlie we decided during our

mini break what show to do we suggested a couple of things and he was unfamiliar he was unfamiliar but he threw down

two he said Growing Pains and Married With Children and Dave said He was unfamiliar. He was unfamiliar, but he threw down two. He said Growing Pains and Married with Children, and Dave said that Married with Children was already stunt casted by that show where there was a bunny rabbit played by Boca. Go away. You guys bring up Nikki Cox. You bring her up on this podcast so much. We or Graham?

To be fair. It's happened three times at least. To be fair, I think it might have been me. Got a thing for redheads. And the bazoombas. No, but then there was the whole tragic one where you saw a recent picture of her and you were like, what happened?

She had a little work done and it didn't work for her. Come on. The other one, Charlie threw down was Growing Pains. We'll stunt cast Growing Pains. all right let's go through the most successful alan thick sitcom since j-pop yeah who knew that bringing him in wouldn't boost the ratings because he kind of did he did thick of the night right that was before growing pain have you ever heard of thick of that no no Have you ever heard of it?

I've heard of Robin Thick of the Night. No, no. Thick of the Night was when Alan Thicke had his own late night talk show. It was called Thick of the Night. Was it on a Canadian channel or an American channel? No, it was American. And he played a white cop in a racist town. Oh, no, sorry. That was

Heat of the Night. Sorry. They call me Mr. Thick. It was Alan Thick, and it was also the springboard for a young... What was his name? Mike Bullard. No, no. Ralph Ben-Murgy.

Growing Pains. Kirk Cameron. Really? Huh? What was the role for the little kid on the... On the late night talk show. Late night talk show. No, I'm saying Growing Pains. I was going back to Growing Pains.

Oh, Growing Pains. Oh, sorry. Yeah, Growing Pains. If no one in the audience followed, neither did we. Okay. So who are the cast members? You have your Alan Thicke as the dad. As the dad.

As Alan Seaver. The psychologist father. Not Alan Seaver. Yeah, I think it's Alan Seaver. Can you call it up on the computer, please? So there's the dad. There's Tracy Gold. Tracy Gold is the daughter.

Has an anorexia. Has Rick Seaver. Joanne Kern. Joanne Kern was the wife. Yep. Maytag Repairman was the grandpa. No, no, no. What was her name?

So we'll just put in the new Maytag Repairman. What grandpa No, no, no, what was her name? So we'll just put in the new Maytag Repairman What? The grandpa was barely He wasn't a major character He did show up and he did drink buttermilk Yeah, and he died You guys Don't start casting with a minor character

Yeah, yeah, I agree Yeah, he did drink buttermilk On that one episode where he died. Mike Seaver was Kirk Cameron. Right. Alan Thicke was Dr. Jason Seaver. Okay, sorry. I thought it was Alan.

I thought it was like Tony Danza. He was a head drinker. Yeah. Joanna Kearns was Maggie Malone slash Maggie Seaver because she was on TV as a news reporter half the time. Oh, wow. Dave's recall for this is way better than mine. Jeremy Miller

as Ben Seaver. He's gay, isn't he now? No, you're thinking the kid from Who's the Boss. Danny Pintoro. No, I'm thinking also. Wasn't the guy from... Or he became a drug addict

or something? You're thinking of Jodie Sweetin. That's who I'm thinking of. That's who I'm always thinking of. I was probably... My joke about the intervention with Jodie Sweetin. That's what I'm thinking of. I was probably my joke about the intervention with Jodie Sweetin at

Lime involving Jodie going, Jodie, Jodie, Jodie, Jodie, look at me, look at me, Jodie, cut it out. Cut it out. The audience wouldn't have it. I wonder if our audience would.

Right in. Stop podcasting yourself. The audience wouldn't have it. I wonder if our audience would. Right in. Stop podcasting yourself. Tracy Gold as Carol Seaver. Yep. Anorexia. No one in that. Like the name Carol has been dead for 40 years. No one's named their child Carol.

That's true, actually. But what was the, what did Gwen glen stefani never good tank uh bullet tank mcnamara made of bullets she called the baby i would call him bullet but short for made of bullets boo uh let's call back to this very podcast and i don't even remember it yeah okay who played boner uh oh andrew koenig who if you guys listen to the jimmy pardo podcast which neither of you podcast and I don't even remember it. Okay. Who played Boner? Andrew Koenig, who if you guys listen to the Jimmy Pardo podcast, which neither of you do.

I have. Andrew Koenig is the cameraman on that. I'm a one podcast man and this is it. I don't think we need to cast. I think we can cast the family and Leonardo DiCaprio. Boner was on way more than Leo. Boner was Who way more than Leo. Boner was...

Who was Boner? Boner was Mike's best friend. And my grade 7 teacher looked exactly like Boner. According to IMDB, Boner was on three episodes more than DiCaprio. And what about... Didn't Adam Sandler have a cameo? No, that was Cosby Show.

Oh, that was Cosby Show, where he played Cockroach's friend, not Boner. Was that a thing in the 80s where your best friend had to have a crazy name? Stiles? Stiles Boner? Booger. Cockroach? Booger? Six from Blossom?

Six was her name, though. I know. It's crazy. So was Cockroach. What happened to Six? Is she hot now? Yeah, she's pretty hot. She stayed pretty hot.

Was she on Girlfriends? She was on a UPN show. She was the token white. Oh, white. Oh, progress. Moving on. I love it. Like, we need a hot lady whose name sounds like a Yiddish complaint.

Do it. Genoveno. Affirmative action, everybody. Okay. Any ideas? Okay. Okay, well, let's start with the dad. Who do we got?

Don't you end with the linchpin? I think Kirk Cameron is the linchpin. You didn't watch a lot of Growing Pains, my friend. Really? Yeah, he was the guy that the show was based around. It started about being the mom and dad, but then it all became about Kirk Cameron. That's true. People did say that Mike was the Fonzie of Growing Pains.

Who said that? No one. Well, we already have new... He was certainly the Alex P. Keaton of Growing Pains. That's true. On Family Ties. You should do Family Ties. That'd be really good.

Who was the neighbor on Family Ties that had the funny name? Skippy. Fucked up names, 80s wise. Kimmy Gibbler? That's a pretty fucked up name. If you were a neighbor, you were a joke. A walking punchline.

Alright, we got the dad. Who do we got for the dad? Someone with a lot of hairspray. Thick hair. Thick head of hair. Thick eyebrows. Masculine voice. Canadian maybe? Be nice.

Or maybe someone with a Canadian son. Ben Mulroney? No? He's got thick hair, big eyebrows, and a masculine voice. He's got to have chops. Yeah, he a masculine voice. He's got to have chops. Yeah, he has no acting chops. Like Alan Thicke. Oh, like we didn't studcast a... A ninja turtle.

A ninja turtle and a cartoon. Grow up. You grow up. Never. What about Splinter? As the dad? As the dad. Splinter. Okay, point made. Okay, okay okay um oh wait okay well because uh whenever i think of alan thicke i think of his giant hairdo and then i think of the guy that's on the sopranos that has like the

white stripes on his hair yeah tony sirico yeah would he be good as the dad? At this point I'm not We're on character one So yeah, sure I'll give you some growing pains No, but actually Steven Van Zandt might not be Little Steven Van Zandt He's got more of the head of hair Who's Steven Van Zandt?

Silvio Dante He has Little Steven's Saturday night show Sunday night show On Rock 101 You guys don't listen? Okay So are we casting

Lil' Steven Van Zandt? Yes I think that's a good Okay nice Thanks for taking us Into the Sopranos territory Yeah no I thought When you said thick hair

Yeah It's true It'd go Italian Alright so Why not? Okay The mother The mother. The mother.

Maggie Malone. Got to be almost hot. Joanna Kern. She was like blonde, right? Yeah. She's blonde, like mid-30s. What about Virginia Madsen? Yeah, that's good.

Who's Virginia Madsen? From Sideways. Blonde from Sideways. Yeah. That's almost Sideways. Yeah. That's almost pitch perfect. Yeah, that's a solid pick. Nice work. And nice going for little Steven.

He could do a lot worse. Not bad. Not bad. Okay, so we got that. We got... Now, who are we moving on to? Tracy Gold. Tracy Gold.

Some daughter. I don't know. Topanga? Yeah, why not? It doesn't fucking matter. Topanga. Topanga. I mean, I guess what era are we casting this year?

Late Topanga. Okay. The late Topanga actually does sound like an era that dinosaurs would be. She's a little old, no? Okay, you're right, you're right. Oh, so we have to go younger. Well, I don't know. A modern-day Topanga.

I don't know. Yeah, when are we... I mean, Virginia Madsen as... Well, Silvio Dante is... I mean, little Steven Van Zandt is older than... Okay, what about Amanda Bynes? We've already done her, haven't we? From Much Music?

No, you did her as a celebrity crush. No, we didn't. No, no, no. I think she was in Taxi. No, that may have been Amber Tamblyn. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think Amanda Bynes could fit. Amanda Bynes, sure.

Why not? She was the one, she's got the sort of little round nose. She was on Much Music. She was in Hairspray. She played like, did you see Hairspray? She had pigtails in Hairspray. Yeah, she was like the really keen girl she got together with the black guy you're like i didn't see her like hair uh on either side of her head like pigtails her character's name is a pigtail yeah what else is she in uh my pants

okay my wet dreams um okay well i'm ready to go for it yep all right uh this show lasts a long time so we have to pick an era don't we yeah yeah i will roughly uh because we cast the mom young and we cast the dad's old i don't think no i don't think that that doesn't bother me at all no okay cool yeah i think that's cool i think once you're over 40, you can play any age in Hollywood. It's true. It has growing pains, man. Yeah. Okay, so then there's the little kid. Ben. Ben Mulrooney. Oh, one of the... What's that shitty show that the kids are really into?

Oh, Cody... Yeah, The Suite Life of Zack and Cody. That's the fucking kid. That's like 10 years too low. No? No, no. Too low? Isn't it?

No. He played a baby in that show. Yeah, he started as a baby. He was little. Yeah. Nah, he's in. Yeah, he started as a baby. He was little. Yeah. Nah, he's in. Suite Life with Zack and Cody. One of them.

Or both of them. Who gives a shit? One on the other shoulder in a trench coat. Wearing a trench coat. Yeah, in a fedora. Yeah. Just fuck with the entire formula of the show. Yeah.

Why is one of us a detective? As if any detective dresses like that anymore. If a guy showed up at a bar and he was tailing you and he had a fedora and a trench coat, you'd be like, let's get out of here. There's a McGruff to grind off that road. We're obviously being tailed by a 1940s detective. All right. Why did we go to drink in a piano bar?

That was our mistake. Why did we drink in a World War I era trench foot bar? Oh, my foot. They're killing me. A bow. A bow. That was a pun. Are we going DiCaprio or are we going Boner first?

No, let's do the grandpa who will be the... The grandpa's not going to... I'm not going to find pictures of the grandpa to Photoshop. It's the... Give it to me. It's the... Because the grandpa pictures of the grandpa to Photoshop. Give it to me. Because the grandpa was played by the old Maytag Repairman, who has recently been replaced, so it seems only fair that the new Maytag Repairman be the grandpa. You're right.

It seems only fair. With a big glass of buttermilk yeah buttermilk I remember that I don't remember anything

but as soon as you said the buttermilk I was like yeah didn't he I think he dies yeah and then Ben sees him as a ghost

or something like that or Mike maybe yeah and he's like get me a glass of buttermilk would ya they drink buttermilk out of the he drinks buttermilk

out of the fridge in his dream and he hates it but he drinks get me a glass of buttermilk, would you? They drink buttermilk out of the fridge. He drinks buttermilk out of the fridge in his dream, and he hates it, but he drinks it anyway. But who has buttermilk in their fridge? That's what the guys did. That's like stunt casting the Family Ties, and then stunt casting the one episode when Tom Hanks played his alcoholic uncle. No, he was on a lot. The grandpa. Yeah. He was on fairly, he was a semi-regular.

Grandpa Buttermilk. And he was the same guy who abused... His wife was played by Buttersworth. By Mrs. Buttersworth. And he was the same guy who made the kids take off their shirts on different strokes. He was the bike salesman.

Yeah, he was the bike salesman. Exactly. And he had the video games in the back room and he made them take off their shirt. Different Strokes. Theme song written by Growing Pain star Alan Thicke. Really? games in the back room and he made them take off their shirt and yeah yeah uh different strokes theme song written by growing pain star alan thick really and facts of life theme song god damn what has what has happened to alan thick because he was really like no i know that but what has happened in between growing pains and j pod he had a show he didn't have a show like it was like questions about animals?

I seem to remember that like Saturday morning kind of game show. Didn't he produce Robin Thicke's first album? Okay. Alright, so... Boner Stabone

or Leonardo DiCaprio Stabone. I don't remember what Boner looked like. Boner, thin, vaguely ethnic. Dim looking. Oh, the guy that plays the... He was on Six Feet Under. He was vaguely ethnic.

He was one of the coroners. I don't know who that is. Why do you have a segment that Dave hates? Dave hates all the segments. Just do it. That seems to be what i'm getting whoopi goldberg will play more emails uh from from from listeners is that uh dave i hope you

make it out of the house someday yeah he's he's starting to develop an old man shumka personality like is it him on the porch but the weird thing is his fist at the world. That wonderful review that you had that really upped the listenership referred to you, Graham, as sounding strangely insincere and Dave as sounding strangely sincere. Which seemed to me a way off. Because you're the let's give it all we got guy and he's the do we want to give it all we got? Yeah.

No, but that's why I think it's so strange is that he's strangely, he does come off more sincere sounding. Dubai! We couldn't have scripted that better. All right. So we got your Boner. Some vaguely ethnic guy. Who did you say? The little Chicano guy?

Yeah. I don't know. I don't even know what Boner looks like. I was thinking maybe... There's always a hot Italian. Nestor Carbonell. The guy who played the mayor in Dark Knight. And Dr. Eyeliner on Lost.

That might actually be the real Boner. Age-wise. Okay. Is there no swarthy teen these days? Swarthy teen? Patrick Swarthy? There's always like a Swarthy one, right? Because there's like, he's the handsome black guy, and he's the handsome blonde guy, and he's the handsome Swarth.

And he's the guy halfway. It was like A.J. McClain from the Backstreet Boys. Yeah, yeah. From the New Kids on the Block. A.J., you just landed on our boner. Yeah, I think that's it. You just landed on our boner. Yes, you did just say that.

New catchphrase. I can't believe I said that by accident. Charlie Demers, you just landed on our boner. You just landed on our boner. You've just landed on our boner. Houston, we have a boner. That's totally like if it was a drive-type radio show. You've just landed on our boner. Oh, boy.

Oog. Okay. We got Leo and Kirk. Yeah. So who's the Leonardo DiCaprio? It's got to be... I don't know. Efron.

Fuck, I don't care. Put Zac Efron in that shit. Raphael. Sort of a... Like, okay, he was an orphan, foster kid, had a tough time. Kind of a little Matt Damon from Good Will Hunting. That's who we're going for. Matt Damon.

Matt Damon? Sold. But Matt Damon in but Matt Damon in a backwards baseball hat yeah yeah so he looks younger and like big overall we're doing a movie of this

and everyone is from like 2008 in it except to the Matt Damon character who's from 1994 somehow we're gonna have to do a lot of

CG on that character. Shrink him down. Why is 1994 breakdancing? He should be doing that dance in the Wii Electric slide. We've got the kids from Zack and Cody are Ben who's like three feet taller

than Leonardo DiCaprio on the show. Alright, Mike Seaver. Oh, man. Sticking with Damon. Yeah, Matt Damon is it. When I landed on Virginia. He nailed the audition. I didn't think he would.

But when he came out, he fucking read it perfectly. When I landed on Virginia Madsen, that should have shown you I was wanting to really play. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. I'm willing to settle. You're like Bill Cosby for Mike Sea play. Yeah, that's true. I'm willing to settle. You're like Bill Cosby for Mike Seaver. Ooh, do you think we could get him? Who do you think would be a good...

Curly? Loose curls. Potential. We're not taking anyone with straight hair. We're not taking Emil Hirsch. Loose curls with the potential for religious fundamentalism. No, no, no. Who would you say for Leonardo DiCaprio?

It sounded like you were dissatisfied. We're taking Damon. No, it sounds like Damon will make for better Photoshop. It will. It will. He's much photographed. All right. So, Kirk Cameron, the linchpin of the movie.

If this isn't cast right, the movie's not going to fly. Everybody knows that. I almost think Shia. Shia LaBeouf? The Beef. But somebody like him. We don't have a budget for him. So he's got to be a matinee idol type.

He's got to be like a handsome kid, but he doesn't look like straight-laced. Because of the curly. He's gotta have sort of scamp quality. Um... But he also has to have that kind of like, hey! Smart-ass-y quality. Yeah, yeah.

He's a rapscallion. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But like sort of a golden rapscallion. Yeah, he was uh, he was always getting into trouble but he meant well. David Faustino. Yeah. David Faustino. Tony Danza. He changed the name to Tony Seaver. Yeah, it has to be changed to Tony Seaver.

Joshua Jackson. Ooh. But he's younger. Yeah, now he's on Fringe. With the guy from The Wire. Did you see episode first of Fringe? No. I saw the first. I didn't. It's very X-Files-y.

So like a Joshua Jackson. I was just frustrated when it wasn't about jackets. Fringe. No. Yeah, it's good. It's not good. Let the listeners decide. Email us at stoppack.

Stoppack. Email us at stoppack. Email us at stoppack. Email us at stoppack. Email us at stoppack. Email us at stoppack. Email us at stoppack. Email us at stoppack.

Email us at stoppack. Email us at stoppack. Email us at stoppack. Email us at stoppack. Email us at stoppack. Email us at stoppack. Email us at stoppack. Email us at stoppack.

Email us at stoppack. Email us at stoppack. Email us at stoppack. Email us at stoppack. Email us at stoppack. Email us at stoppack. Email us at stoppack. Email us at stoppack.

Email us at stoppack. Email us at stoppack. Email us at stoppack. Email us at stoppack. Email us at stoppack. Email us at stoppack. Email us at stoppack. Email us at stoppack.

Email us at stoppack. Email us at stoppack. Email us at stoppack. Email us at stoppack. Email us at stoppack. Email us at stoppack. Email us at stoppack. Stoppack. You can see yourself at gmail.com. I was wondering, is there a male equivalent of lingerie? Because I was thinking maybe like a suede fringe underwear. You were thinking of it for what?

As a child, I used to imagine men's lingerie. He was thinking of it as a child. I don't understand. Why were you thinking that as a child? You know, to return the favor. Yeah, I gotcha. I dig ya. High five. Alright, come on. My wife

must bring it back. We'll cut that out. No, you're not gonna cut it out. If you cut it out, I won't like. I don't like. Borat's coming back. Okay, somebody. Mike Siever, what age range

are we looking at? 17 to 40. What a jerk. I'm stymied actually trying to think of a guy who is the... What about Andy Samberg? Not bad.

That is pretty good, actually. I was going to say Josh Hartnett, but I like yours better. Josh Hartnett, though, he is kind of more the... He's bankable. And he's a heartthrob. But he's got 10 years on Samberg, doesn't he? He's 30. What about Michael Phelps?

What about a Tobey Maguire? He's a butterface. What? What about Michael Phelps? What about a Tobey Maguire? He's a butterface. What? Michael Phelps is a butterface. That Michael Phelps, he looks good, but her face.

That doesn't make any sense. But his face. But he's... Alright. Alright. We're getting into the 80th hour of this podcast. Oh, really. But he's... All right. All right. We're getting into the 80th hour of this podcast.

Are we ready? How are we... Okay. No, how are we doing on donations? That's what I want to know. Where are we at? We had one offer.

All right. So, Hartnett or Sandberg? The linchpin, guys. Sandberg's got the loose curls. But Hartnett has the dreamy, matinee appeal. He's got the loose curls. But Hartnett has the dreamy, matinee appeal.

He's got the low hairline, a la Selma Blair. I like Sandberg. Okay, I'm willing to go with Sandberg. Green light? Green light. Green light. Yeah, this is going to be good.

As long as we got each other. We got the world sitting right in our hands. All right. We're going to do a celebrity crush hat. Let's play. Right now, let's play the theme. Celebrity crush hat. Crushing the hats.

Celebrity crush hat. Go fuck yourself. Celebrity crush hat. Chapeau chinois. Celebrity crush hat. Crush hat. Okay. So Charlie's going to pick a number out of a chapeau.

Okay. Eighteen. Eighteen? Until I die. Or eighty-one. Who do you think I have a crush on at eighty-one? Eighteen. Eighteen.

That would have been 1998 for you? Monica Lewinsky. Are you serious? Yeah, that was my celebrity crush, 1998. Bringing it back to the berets. Wow. Explain a little bit. She must have given you a sore bone.

Yeah, that was Monica Lewinsky, 100%. You had a subscription to Cigar Aficionado. Yeah, I was Monica Lewinsky, 100%. You had a subscription to Cigar Aficionado. Yeah, I was so... You were reading copies of Cigar Aficionado and the Star Report. Yeah. No, I... Oh, man, I thought it was going to be a challenge, because I asked for the listeners, so that you know, I asked specifically, I didn't want to do it with an...

I wanted to do this without Annette. I didn't want to stop. Without Annette Bening. It was your 16-year-old crush. I didn't want to do Wikipedia, see what happened that year. I wanted to see if I could remember. Yeah, no, but it was for sure. Wow, muscle memory.

Was it her... Curvaciousness. And the dangerousness. I think she was the only thing... That was the whole Kate Moss era, wasn't it? Yeah. So she was the only meaty Jewess on TV. Should we do another one?

Because he came up with that one. Yeah, that was unsatisfying for me. I know. Now I know how she must feel. I just celebrity crush-hatted all over Graham's blue dress. Remember when that was a popular Halloween costume? Yes. Everybody was doing that.

That's actually the precursor to Man of Honor. 35? That's the oldest number in there. Do you have any? Well, 81. Five. Wow. Can you do it?

That's in 1985. I mean, I definitely remember crushes of girls that I knew. Or teachers. Anyone from The NeverEnding Story. Perhaps The Last Starfighter. I don't think I had any awareness of

any political characters from 1985. Did you have a crush on Thatcher? Oliver North was my... His name was Ollie. Wasn't that the nickname? Ollie North? 17.

Here we go. That's a life. Michael Lewinsky Jr. Pick another one. 17? That's too close. Do you have a separate one at 17? Never before have we given someone four picks.

12. Fine. Okay. Why are we angry? You're the bad guy. Okay. 12. 1992.

Mm-hmm. Grade 7. Yeah. Ooh. Lying without a net here, Charlie. I was still pretty into the girls in my class at that point. Right, but you had a television.

And 1993 was about to be a big Alicia Silverstone year. Oh, hell yeah. Including the cutout cover from Rolling Stone with her squatting in the locker. Oh, nice! And that photo spread with her in the

ruffly underwear. Yeah, that was the one. Oh, where she was wearing a cowboy hat, no? Yes. That was 1993? That was 1993? That was 93, yeah. But I think 12 would have still been

Tiffany Amber Thiessen territory. Would have still been Tiffany Amber Thiessen territory. Would have still been Kelly Kapowski. Yeah, Kelly Kapowski. What was your favorite moment from Saved by the Bell? I know you're a fan. Yeah, I mean, you guys have covered a lot of the best. We haven't done it in a while.

We haven't. And my brother actually brought up, he sent me a message saying that we had we had obviously neglected like a specific episode and now i can't remember what it was oh it was the snow white no that was seven dorks snow white and the seven dorks somebody wrote in and said uh that we hadn't touched on the snow white and seven dorks we haven't touched on much really the um The The One that you talked about Where they are in a band And the agent hears them The Zach Tack

And they're like Do you really think we have what it takes And he goes does Bart Simpson have animated zits No he doesn't I remember as a kid That drove me nuts. They never drew pimples on Bart Simpson. How is that?

But that's your, like, that's sort of like the, and a little show called Dead Zone. But also, the Pope doesn't actually shit in the woods, so when you give that as a response, you're in equal confusing territory. Catholic, and bear shit in the woods. Pope's Catholic, you're already on the meta one.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm already, yeah, yeah, shit. And our bear wood Catholic. And from that episode, I remember... What, the Snow White and the Seven Dorks one? No, the Zack Attack. I can't believe we're talking, we've really talked up that one episode.

You're only going to download one episode this year. Should be the Zack Attack episode. You're only going to download one episode this year. Should be the Zach Attack episode. After the band's broken up, Zach goes on a solo career, and he hates it. There's lasers in his eyes. He feels like Madonna. And his manager's like,

Yeah, you're like a macho Madonna. And she reinforces it. She knows that all these many years later, Madonna would be the Macho Madonna. That's the crazy. Ropier arms than Zach, for sure. Yeah. I think also the two episodes where he gets a poor girl and a wheelchair girl.

Those are two pretty big. Oh, yes. When he's in the mall and there's a guy doing uh there's a homeless guy like getting ready in the bathroom right and then he like leaves five bucks in the hand dryer or something and the guy's like yeah you're all right but then he doesn't realize he's been hitting on uh his also homeless daughter That's the greatest thing about... Sleeping in their cars. Yeah, sitcom homeless people are always super appreciative

when you just give them cash or food. They're like, awesome, man. Thanks for the food. I've been down on my luck. But if you gave a person a sandwich here, they would shank you. Or they would try. They were too weak from all the

drugs and lack of sandwiches. And refusing all those sandwiches. No sandwiches. But you get called... You're told to fuck off a lot when you try and do something in the actual kind manner. But... The one with the wheelchair was phenomenal

because remember, Zach was overcompensating? Yeah. And he was like making everybody pay attention to her disability. And he's in the theater, and he's like, hey, do you mind slouching down? My date's in a wheelchair. Thanks, buddy. I love whenever they were in the theater, because the theater only had eight seats in it. And it was just a flashing light. And it was the same movie all the time.

Was it like a sound of a car screeching and then two gunshots? Remember when Screech went on that date with Lisa? And she had to keep passing messages down to Lisa? Or what about when Zach... Are you having fun? Is when Zach hooked up with Lisa, and that only happened once. During the fashion show. That was a dangerous episode on wikipedia on wikipedia they uh postulate that the reason they never developed that storyline was because of

no one gave a shit interracial i i'm willing to bet a hundred percent that's what it was i think they touched on it uh lisa was or zach was kind of out of lisa's league untrue but also she's the only one who's hot today. Maybe Kelly. Yeah, Kelly is. Yeah, we all know. We all know who you're talking about. Tori. Tori. But then there was

and then when I found out that Zach is, like no one on that show is white. Like Zach is half Indonesian. What? Yeah, he's Indonesian. he's half dutch half indonesian but but but uh and then and then uh slater who was italian during the whole high school years then finally in college they're like okay we admit the actor is hispanic and we're gonna make him chicano in the show but what was screechreech? Screech was white. Screech was un-talented.

Which has its own disadvantages. But now he's very talented. And his own national anthem. Alright, well I think we've done enough damage. To what? Ourselves. Oh. Well, thanks everybody who wrote in. Especially people who send us emails

to stoppodcastingyourself.blogspot.com And not the people who badmouth us on our blog at stoppodcastingyourself at gmail.com. And not the people who badmouth us on our blog at stoppodcastingyourself.blogspot.com. You can suck my bag, Anonymous. Come forth. Charlie, do you have anything you wish to plug? I bet you do. I would like to say, first of all, shout out

to the original celebrity crush, my wife, Kara Ink. I think the original was more kind of like Monica of the podcast I think the original was more kind of like a Monica Lewinsky I think the original was more like

she's the current celebrity crush I wouldn't think she was the original but she's a big fan of the podcast I literally thought you were going to

shout out to Tiffany Ambruthisa Tiffany Ambruthisa shout out to Stephanie K from Degrassi. No, I got nothing to plug.

The Comedy Fest is coming up, but this will have happened. No, no, no. Oh, okay, great. Comedy Fest this Wednesday, September 17th at the Media Club, 7 p.m. And Bumpers should be down there that night anyway. I hope so. These two are on right after us at nine o'clock we're on it should say as a as kind of a disclaimer we haven't been invited to the festival to do a stop podcasting yourself show it's just myself and dave shumka doing our stand-up routines yeah and i believe kelly Kelly Dixon's on that show as well. Kelly Dixon is hosting the show, and I am

hosting the Charlie Demers-Paul Bay show. And I am hosting the next podcast. With me, Graham Clark. Dave, it's been such a fun time. Hasn't it? Let's come back and do another one. Everybody out there

who's listening, come back once again for another thrilling episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself.