Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 306 - Paul Myrehaug

Episode Date: January 28, 2014

Paul Myrehaug returns to talk about his many Disney visits, bottomless fries, and the final installment of Lessons Learned From Flex Magazine.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 306 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who doesn't need a manicure, but he wouldn't be above getting one, Mr. Dave Shumka. I've never had one. I keep my nails real short.

Yeah. But I could see like if somebody gave you a gift certificate to a manicurist. Well, what is a manicure? Like when a lady gets a manicure, they put nail polish on. Yeah. When you drive on a parkway, you park on a driveway. But when a man gets a woman-cure, is it just they just file it down and stuff? Or do they put French tips on? Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, men get French tips, but they're... Nail art? Can I get nail art? Yeah, yeah. But macho, like you get... Yeah, Cincinnati Bengals. Men get French tips, but they're... Nail art? Can I get nail art? Yeah, yeah, but macho, like you get... Cincinnati Bengals. Macho man. I think they do, actually. There was a movement to try and get dudes to be painting their nails, because it's one of those products where it's like, 50% of the market is untapped.

Yeah, guys, go goth. All black nail polish. I don't know. I think in the summertime, I think guys should paint their toenails. There, go goth. All black nail polish. I don't know. I think the summertime, I think guys should paint their toenails. There, I said it. Now we'll talk. Our guest today, third time on the show, you think? I think, yeah, third time. Pretty sure.

A very funny comedian, used to make his home here in Vancouver, now lives in London, England. Not London, Ontario. Too bad for you. How much laser tag is there in downtown London, England, not London, Ontario. Too bad for you. How much laser tag is there in downtown London, England? Zilch. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, Piccadilly Circus. Oh, yeah, that's true.

The very funny Mr. Paul Meyerhog. Hey, fellas. Hey, buddy. Thanks for having me back. That's a statement of my career, because when I say people are like, where are you living now? I'm like, oh, London. And then immediately they're like, oh, Ontario. Every time I'm like, no, England.

They're like, how did you – oh, that's weird. That's nice of people to say that to your face. You can make it – can you be a comedian and live in London, Ontario? Is it like – I don't know the geography of Ontario, but I know you can do the rounds of Ontario. Yeah, London's not that far from Toronto. No, it's like an hour and a half. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

It's such a weird little town, and all I really can point to, somebody was asking us where they should go, Hamilton or London. For like a pre-event meal. Yeah, and I was like, to london because they got this laser tag like right downtown like it's like a block away from city hall were they planning their like stag party they're like i don't know but either hamilton or london and we're gonna go

crazy but we either way we want to not have a good time so you get to point us in the direction uh well let's get to know us, guys. Get to know us. Paul, you were saying, just before we started the podcast, you're here in Vancouver, then you're going to Calgary, and then...

I'm going to Disneyland with my nephew for four fun days, and we have a park hopper pass. Not just you and the nephew right no no no it's the whole family that would be weird it would be a little uh what's that um kevin costard movie uh water world directed i think it was directed by clint eastwood a perfect world something like that oh yeah a perfect water world and it's just i think he's like kidnapped a kid. Anyway. So, park hopper, what is that?

That's, like, because there's two parks. There's California Adventure and then Disneyland. So, if you're really, you know, rich and, you know, famous, you can get a park. Like you? Yeah. You can get a park hopper. Yeah, there's a button that you can click online and. Like you? Yeah. You can get a park offer. Yeah, there's a button that you can click online, and then you park offer.

It just asks, are you rich in fame? Yeah, yeah. Do you need a black American Express card? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Unlimited, yeah. So you click it, and then they ask you, they're like, what's your name? Paul Meyerhagen does a Google search.

You don't have to be, you just have to be the first result under your name. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what fame means today. Did you mean Paul Matterhorn? Yeah, Matterhorn.

That's me. That's fun, that's fun. So, have you ever been to Disneyland? Yeah, you know what? I've been, like, this is going to be obscene, you guys are going to,

but I think this is probably... Yeah, yeah. I took I've been, like, this is going to be obscene. You guys are going to, but I think this is probably. Yeah, yeah. I took my dick out at Disneyland. This is going to be obscene. I did, like, a propeller thing. So I haven't been in a while. I've been to Disneyland jail. But I think, me and my old man were talking about it.

I think this is your husband yes yes absolutely um i think this is my 18th time to wow yeah that is obscene it's obscene yeah it's really insane is it a do you go to other parks like are you uh um uh you know a roller coaster guy do you like going to yeah everywhere you are like i'll go i went uh yeah i do i'll go check him out because i do have fun there but disneyland um i don't know i just we love it there but the thing i we weren't a rich family or anything but my dad was an airline guy so um we got free plane tickets so when we were growing up it didn't cost a thing. Like we could go and he got like hotel deals too. So like whereas a kid would go to the cabin every summer, you guys went to Disneyland. Right.

Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. And they would just like put them up in a hotel and we'd stay there. So like we went so many times. That's crazy. Yeah.

Yeah. I remember when I lived in Tawasin, my mom came home on Friday and had like a really bad day at work. And she was making dinner. She put it on the table and she was like, I want to go to Disneyland. And my dad just like called and there was a flight leaving in an hour and a half. And we just left the dinner on the table. What? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We were like, yeah! You know, it was such a... Came home and your house was full of raccoons. Oh, yeah, we left the windows open. Just using knives and forks. You have that thing where you're sitting on the airplane and you're like, what did I forget to do? Oh, yeah, everything. Oh, no, my apple brown Betty in the oven.

That's really spectacular so you must have like favorite rides and favorite routes of rides and absolutely so what's number one number one i think as a kid was pirates of the caribbean um but now as an adult i was the caribbean yeah as a isn't it the caribbean no i'm just as an adult it's pirates of the caribbean i didn't it the Caribbean? No. As an adult, it's Pirates of the Caribbean. Okay. I didn't want them to listen to the podcast and get my park hopper pass taken away because I screwed up. Oh, they're everywhere.

Yeah. Yeah. It's the worst. But now I like Toy Story. Toy Story is easily my favorite ride. Are you tiny? Do you go on a tiny adventure or something? How does that work?

It's like a cart and you get in the cart, and you have a gun. What? Yeah. And to make the gun shoot, you pull a string, and it shoots. And then it's like a competition. You have to shoot targets and different things, and that's what it's all about. While you're being jostled and moved around? Spun around.

And is it like the targets are like robot things or are they 3d like projected images or yeah they're they're huge screens all on a projected image and then uh and then you just go for it and wow yeah yeah and i just i absolutely love it love it like super competitive you know if my nephew beats me i'm fucking fucking, what the fuck's wrong with you? We're going again. I don't want to. Like, yeah. So that's my favorite thing. Wow. And what's, because I've been to Disneyland once.

Are there passes you can get where you don't have to wait in a line for an hour? No, see, that's the speed pass. So you only get once an hour, you can go and get like a speed pass. And then you get a speed pass and you, you can go into a special lineup. How long is the lineup for the speed pass? Uh, they're all over the place.

You can just grab one, but they, they've timed you out. So they know you can't get too many in a day, you know? So you can, you gotta, you gotta choose wisely.

Yeah. So you gotta, if a toy store, you're definitely got to have a speed pass for a toy story. I heard this year, or was it late last year? Because it used to be if you were disabled, if you were in a wheelchair or something like that, you could skip the line, basically. That was the policy. They've done away with that policy. Everybody must wait on the line.

Because everyone's a phony baloney handicapped person. Like, everyone's got a wheelchair at home. Oh, absolutely. I have two use my roller skate with them strap them on my feet yeah i live my day-to-day life like jackass yeah um well that's really uh that's amazing and like you you're like globetrotting you're all over the place are you a fan of the disney properties like are you because i i went globetrotting. You're all over the place. Are you a fan of the Disney properties? Like, are you? Because I went to Disneyland when I was three. Don't really remember it.

Are the Disney properties, like, condos? No, no, no. What I mean is, like, the movies and, like, Mickey Mouse and stuff. Like, I remember being mad at my parents. Like, oh, we only went to Disneyland when I was three. I don't remember it. And then when I was older, I was like, I don't about disney anything uh so well i really like chip and dale that's the only thing i care about so the dancers yeah yes absolutely and that's where i got in trouble with the

helicopter penis thing yeah so i was completely two squirrels? Yeah, yeah. And I was like, oh, you guys got to change the name. Yeah, this is partly your fault. Should be like Chip and Ronald or something. This is ridiculous. But yeah, so I really like Chip and Dale. And it's also my nephew's favorite thing, too. So we'll go look for those little squirrels. Oh, that's amazing.

Yeah, yeah. Are they squirrels or chipmunks? I know they're rescue rangers. They are rescue. Yeah, that's amazing. Yeah, yeah. Are they squirrels or chipmunks? I know they're rescue rangers. They are rescue. Yeah, I think they're chipmunks, though. I'm pretty sure they're chipmunks. Yeah, yeah. Now, you're a globetrotter.

You've been going all over the world doing comedy and stuff. Have you ever stayed in the Disney property? Hour and a half of Disneyland. Yeah, just this last couple of years after moving to the UK, it's been a lot of international stuff. Where's been fun? Dave and I are planning a honeymoon. Not us, but for somebody else. We're renewing our vow.

Dave and I have a side business where we plan your honeymoon also uh yeah you're interested based on things we like yeah and right now do you want to get to know us as clients no we're we're uh we know what we want yeah we're leaning towards london ontario yeah yeah it's beating hamilton right now um yes i guess my favorite oh man there's a lot of good runs but uh the southeast asia tour is uh is unbelievable so that's like it's 27 days or so and you're doing malaysia singapore indonesia and cambodia and you're there uh working the whole time is your audience all australian men with uh you know 16 year old dates that is one of the downfalls of that like oh it's so creepy especially cambodia you like after the show you're

going to have a beer and there's like this 60 year old canadian guy with two you know uh so you just want to smash him in the face like you see a lot of that crap what would the punishment be in cambodia for smashing a 60 year old in the face i think they might throw a parade in your yeah yeah when nothing would happen yeah yeah you can do it's the wild west it's really really fun i don't this is uh yeah there is no punishment so the booker for that show in particular i i showed up and he showed up on a motorcycle and i was like oh wow cool bike and he's like do you ride i'm like yeah yeah and he just threw me the keys and I was like, oh, wow, cool bike. And he's like, do you ride? I'm like, yeah, yeah.

And he just threw me the keys and he's like, well, just that's yours for the night. And, but we were going bar hopping and then I, and I was like, I don't know. Don't drive it into any bars. Yeah. And I was like, I'm like, I don't know. Like I've already had like three beer. I don't think I should drive. And he was like, he's like three beer.

Hilarious. He's like, yeah, you can do whatever you want doesn't matter like yeah yeah yeah he hops in a in a bobcat drives away like a like a construction equipment he doesn't hop into a uh a wild animal well maybe this is what people love about cambodia It's just anything can happen. Any construction equipment you want, you can just go. And you can do anything. It's so funny because I really wanted to go up the Mekong because of all the old Vietnam War movies. So I really wanted to get a boat and go on the Mekong and listen to CCR and run through the jungle. Yeah, you were doing Apocalypse Now tour, which is very popular. Yeah, and I wanted to hang my leg over the boat and smoke a cigarette and, you know,

the whole nine. It's like the Sex and the City tour. Same thing. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, I'm kind of a Colonel Kurtz. So I went down to the river and to this to this boat place and there all the fan boats were gone and i was talking to this guy but there was this giant barge like a like a huge party boat that would seat i don't know how like 200 people i'm seeing like the hugest boat ever and it was me and

two other people and i was like i was really disappointed because I wanted to pretend I was in Vietnam. So I was like, how much is it for that? And he was like, oh, don't even worry about it. Like you can't afford it. And I was like, no, like try me. And then he has like a little meeting with his partner and he's like, oh, he's like two hours, $20. And I was like fired up.

So we had like a 200 person party, but just three of us. Oh, it was the best. It was really good. Wow. Just like in NAMM. Yeah.

Just like in NAMM. DJ's beer. Wow. Yeah. See, that's the, that's the thing I've always, I've always envied about the Paul Meyer hug experience is experience is that you go to these places and you immerse.

You do things. You know how to travel and have fun in these things. It's like a skill. That could be your thing where you're like, I just will take you somewhere, show you a good time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let me book your honeymoon. Yeah, we'll drive a motorcycle onto a party boat. Let me book your honeymoon.

Yeah, we'll drive a motorcycle onto a party boat. Yeah, I really try to because stand-up is the least fun part of it. That's the shittiest part of the day. Because every show I'm like, I'm going to dive. I'm going to bomb so hard. So I'm worked up about it. But then during the day I have 23 hours where I can just go have fun and do whatever. And you can put the show out of your mind enough to just go and have fun in the location.

Yeah, for sure. The more I don't think about stand up, the better it's probably going to go. Like if I'm sitting in a hotel by myself and like doing a set list or something like that, usually the show is trash because I'm like, yeah, if I can just do something as close up to the start of showtime as possible and then go on there mentally dumb then that's the best way so you rented this boat any other like you i think you're telling me you learned to surf somewhere is that possible or did you learn to spearfish something crazy like that? I learned to surf in Hawaii. That wasn't in Asia. We just found a Disney park in Hawaii. Yeah, yeah.

A surfing... Yeah, I mean, on that same trip... Actually, this was a different one. uh on that same trip actually this was a different one this there's two asia tours the other one you go to china you go to hong kong and then into uh shanghai and ningbo and then you drop down to thailand and that one's like another 30 day tour and that's a comedy yeah yeah and that one has september oh that was yeah it was like april june yeah um that's a long time yeah to be on the on the road and you do you get to pick who you're going with or is it just no it's like you and this guy your best friends for a month go into a country that you don't know anybody and don't know anything and have like do and have all day to do things with these two strange guys. But they, yeah, it's you, two other people. But on both of the tours, I lucked out.

Like they're all good guys. The China one, because like you say, during the day, I like to get out there. They were a little bit of like the two other comics were older, so they didn't want anything to do with that. So I had to go do a lot of daytime stuff by myself, which is okay. But I think that's where in Thailand um there's this thing i i like uh cliff diving like you know anytime this is what i'm talking about yeah you know you know you know what i mean you're you're like you you are the outdoor life network like you just like you could i don't know why you don't have a show or something like you like cliff diving cliff

diving is the one where you dive off a cliff. Yeah. Into like a cup of water. That's right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And you try to land on your stomach.

But that was interesting because I got I found this excursion and they picked me up in like a really shaky van. Like it was all very and there's no like insurance. It's not, yeah. So you only go to the places in the world where they serve you cola in a bag because they want the five cent deposit. Yeah, yeah. So we get,

and it's like an all day cliff diving thing. So we get to this one and the Thai guy is like, okay, three level, three level, one children level two women level three man and then he and he looks at me and uh he's like i think you woman yeah yeah i was like i'm like fuck you like take me to the man one and then we get up there and it is like it's it's man like i'm it was really a long dive and I was like,

Oh my God. And then he picks up these rocks and then he's like, he, he holds the rock in front of my face. He's like, look, look, look.

And he's throws it. And he's like, there you aim there. And then he throws the other rock, which is like four feet away from the first one. And he's like, they're dead. And then he jumped first. It's like they're dead yeah yeah and then he jumped first it's like that's all i got was like alive dead and then he jumped in the alive spot and then i was up there by myself like oh

yeah yeah yeah do you do you actually dive um who do you jump feet first uh feet first yeah yeah yeah can you imagine going head first oh no way no but there's those guys that do that right they cliff dive yeah yeah you see when they just go up just a speedo right yeah go up on the side of a cliff just a speedo dive into the ocean oh yeah and it's always like all those spots are always like a foot away from death like you're yeah yeah like the the sweet spot is so small yeah and then the guy's like looking at his watch he's like and not death is moving yeah yeah rock shark dead dead jump wow and uh so you do you do that thing where you do it once and then you're like, okay, again. Yeah. Yeah. Because then once you, once you get over that fear, then it's just nonstop fun. So

yeah. Yeah. And climb back up and you can, you can do it as much as you want. And then they were just, once you were sick of it, they, they ask you, you know, you want to go to the next one? Yeah. Yeah. Let's go and go check it out. Oh, so you literally went from cliff to cliff? Yeah. In the van yeah yeah it was a really cool day it was really awesome but yeah and i was so jacked but it's too bad the other guys didn't weren't into stuff like that because it's uh it's it's okay to do it by yourself but you want to like share something something yeah you know what i mean yeah yeah but so it was just you wouldn't have been able to share they would have been on the woman cliff

these two or the kid cliff the kid cliff for sure i can't believe there's a kid cliff well i mean i can't also have dead dead yeah like is that one of the options for kids death for kids i did they probably because it wasn't really high they probably just would have been like uh like broken leg and like you still go to school and enjoy your life still go to school and enjoy your life still go to school and enjoy your life pretty good yeah um and uh and uh well i was i brought up the thing where like you i've only ever seen it in cartoons where like a guy goes up onto a platform and dives into a uh like the tiniest thing of water yeah it's because it could only

happen but like it's based on something diving but like it's regular into some kind of water hole like like a pool yeah like a little water pool and but like little right like it's got to be based on someone doing it into a small. I don't know that it is. I think it's like, you know, when the guy runs into the side of the mountain, right? But it's painted on. Yeah, that's not based on anything. A Trump Louis.

Yeah, but I know it was that old circus shallow dive thing, right? That's got to be based on something. Yeah, yeah. Like it was a small, this guy's going to be based on something yeah yeah like it was a small this guy's gonna land in a tiny tank yeah and they had that rickety old platform that uh you know it's a circus thing right so that they'd climb up there and dive from like this death defying height into a such a tiny so what's the physics there is he tucking and rolling or is he i don't know how small the uh oh like waterhole maybe it's tiny this way, but super deep. Yeah, yeah.

Maybe you just gotta hit it on target and then you go like, whoo, whoo. And then drown. It'll be hard to turn around in such a tiny area. Well, you know what?

You can drown in an inch of water. My mother always taught me that. Dave, I'm... Yeah. See? See how close you came to drowning? Let that be a lesson to you um well it's uh it's fantastic

to have you here and i'm glad you survived the cliff diving and uh shark punching well whenever you do shark punching yeah absolutely tiger baiting um what else is there yeah what uh glass eating glass eating have you ever seen there's TV show, a reality show where it's a team of guys. It seems like you would be perfect on this show. They go from a town to town and they learn the local sport, whatever the local, whatever the village plays. Yeah. They try to learn it in like three days and then they challenge the best people in the town to that competition.

So if it's like some sort of boxing or some sort of soccer or some sort of whatever, and it's hysterical because these guys are all like in America, they're amazing athletes. But they're like a lot of the games are like, you have to be tiny and quick. But I can picture you being one of these dudes. Sounds amazing. That sounds so cool. Yeah. Yeah. But I can picture you being one of these dudes. Sounds amazing. That sounds so cool. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I need to watch that.

Yeah, because I desperately, a part of that tour in Southeast Asia, you tack on India, and I desperately wanted to go to see a Hialeah. Oh, Hialeah. Yeah. Yeah, because that's extreme business. And I couldn't find a match going on. I was only there for like five days or something. But that would be so cool if I could learn how to play high lie.

And then, oh, so that's the one with the scooping. Yeah, scooping things. And what are you scooping it and you're tossing it to somebody else and they're catching it. It's off the wall, isn't it? Yeah. Oh, it's like a racquetball ish. But it goes like the i think the ball goes faster than any other sport yeah wow it's like i i don't know what it is but i think

it's like over 200 yeah like you can kilometers and kill someone yeah yeah guys die like if you get hit in the head that's that's it yeah yeah you're just high or dead Buy a line. I feel like I told you, but there's a game in India called, it's either called Kaboodi or Kabadi. And it's like an amalgam of Red Rover and wrestling. Yeah. And you, like, call out a guy on one side and he has to come over and you're allowed to just do whatever. Just hop on him and punch him and grind him into the ground. And if he gets over the line, like they get their team gets a point. Look into it, buddy.

Yeah. Yeah. That's a sport I need to learn. Traveling to all these exotic places. Have they ever like like the fact that you're this white guy who kind of sticks out? Have they ever like served you joke food? Like, hey, guess what you just ate? Or like an octopus in a punching glove.

Oh, you got me. Yeah, they tried to freak me out in Cambodia for sure. What did they serve you? Yeah, it was this fish. It was the grossest thing. It was just like a fish soup or like a stew or something. So they let me order a couple of like Asian, North American things, like soft stuff, like, I don't know, chicken balls or whatever. And I had to eat this one thing and it was so,

so gross. And I don't know what it was, but the servers and stuff all came out to watch me. Right. Yeah. And, uh, they,

they didn't really speak English, but they were like, all they were just like, I tried to muscle through a few bites. Uh, you hear somebody who's like, Hey, where's my pop bucket?

Uh, we were talking about uh indiana jones the uh second one oh temple of monkey yeah that's like the racistest movie yeah yeah it's not great it's like uh look at these tribes pulling hearts out of their chests and eating monkey brains. Apparently there's a food in the Netherlands that reportedly is the grossest food. And even adventure eaters say this is like, and it's shark stomach. And it has to be hung up to dry for a month before it's even, because the bile of it has to be like it has to be like hung up to dry for a month before it's even because like the bile of it has to be drained out and it smells like ammonia and uh like you know like guys like uh who's the guy that goes around and eats guy fieri no no the guy goes to all the different countries and eats all the crazy food oh um he's got like spiky hair and like sports sunglasses

and he ate it and like threw up right away like it's apparently it's the so when you're in the netherlands you got to do that okay yeah it feels like that's the thing you got to do yeah i got to eat a shark stomach like yeah is there a is there a tour that goes through the netherlands at all yeah there's like there's great ones i'm oh man that's i really fell in love with the netherlands you can go down there there's a uh club called tumler uh and it's in amsterdam uh and they do five weeks of english comedy a year they call it the english comedy festival. So, um, we were just talking about Glenn, me and Glenn did it this year and, uh,

Glenn Wall. Yeah. Uh, and, uh, I, this, the second year in a row that I did it,

but the comedy club is amazing. It's a collective. So it's owned by standup comics. Oh yeah. Right. I've heard of this. Yeah. Yeah.

So they just treat you fantastically. The crowds are great. And then there's also tours around Netherlands as well as well that you're doing these like beautiful like theaters like boom chicago and amsterdam as well and shark stomach shark stomach shark stomach so uh and i'm gonna go on a cycling trip uh in april with glenn wool and uh phil nickel uh so i'm gonna convince those boys that we should stop for uh yeah yeah don't tell them the part about it being the grossest food on earth no because like and i think you can buy it in like uh vacuum packs in convenience stores like people do just like eat it like like

cheese curds they do in quebec you know like they just eat cheese curds just the weird local food yeah yeah yeah and be like oh i heard this this tastes, and say it tastes like bridge mix or something. Like something that is palatable. When I was in Switzerland over Christmas, just going through the grocery store, I was taking pictures of all of just the kind of weird stuff they eat. Yeah. And you're like, oh, yeah, there's a whole horse section. Oh, yeah, yeah. There's horse chips you can snack on.

Horse chips? Yeah. I wonder. Jerky circles. I wonder if, because now I don't eat meat, and while I did eat meat, I never ate horse. I was never that hungry. But have you ever peed like one? Yeah, absolutely.

Just on all fours? Into some hay. When someone says I need to piss like a racehorse, it means impressively. But yeah, I never ate that. Like, I never ate horse, and I never ate, like, panther. You know what I mean? Like, or eagle. Like, I had snake and ostrich, but I never like the craziest you know yeah it's weird when i eat

whenever it's like oh we're serving bison tonight or venison yeah it's always like in my mind i don't want to enjoy it i want i want it to taste like a meat i already know like i'm like oh a bison burger i hope it tastes just like a regular hamburger it does though right yeah well i'm tricking myself into thinking that anyway it's the same colored meat yeah you're like i don't want to have a new experience yeah thanks thanks but no thanks barbecue i got tricked into horse uh but it was in toronto and it was like uh i was with my buddy scotty having a we were he ordered like a platter and it was a bunch of like cured meats. And it was really delightful. And then he was like, oh, try that one. And I ate like four of them.

I was like, this is fantastic. And then he was kind of grinning stupidly. And I was like, oh, and he's like, that's horse. Yeah, he had a thing that said Kentucky Fried Chicken. And he pulled the label off and said Kentucky Derby underneath. And I was like, ah-ha. See, that's good. So, Dave, what's going on with you, man?

Nothing. No cliff diving? It's this week. It's weird. I went out. I've been out three or four times this week. Nothing really to talk about. But I would like to interrupt this segment for the final edition of another segment called Lessons Learned from Flex Magazine.

Yeah, so for those of you who are new to the show, and certainly for Paul, every year at Christmastime we do a present exchange on the air. And last year, not 2013, 2012, I got him a subscription to Flex Magazine, which is the magazine for weightlifters. Yeah. And so I assume this is the last issue in the subscription? I hope so. If it hasn't been renewed.

Was it from a kid that came to your house? No, I went online and I was... What's the worst thing i could get for dave yeah it was it either came down to cat fancy uh which is a real magazine cat fancy yeah for fancy cat yeah flex magazine and then then i did i went back and forth on just getting him a subscription to a porno magazine but then i thought that was you know it, it's going to show up. Like, he might get arrested as a sex offender. I have neighbors. Yeah. We share a mailbox.

So here we go. Lessons learned from Flex Magazine. Oh, should we play the theme? Sure. Here's some lessons learned from Flex Magazine. If you're a flexitron, please don't murder me. To the odds and the future! And mostly the thing that every time we've done this segment, we did it twice, I think, at the beginning of the subscription.

And then I was like, I can't read this. Yeah. Most of the ads are for supplements. Yeah, right. Muscle milk and such. That's a real thing. Yeah. Hemo rage.

Yeah, hemo rage. Was Flexotron a guy? Flexotron was a thing. Yeah. Hemo rage. Yeah, hemo rage. Was Flexotron a guy? Flexotron was a guy. Yeah. Nice. Yeah. Nice. And now there's no ads for anything to make your veins not look gross.

Oh, like a vein smoother? Yeah. There's no vein smoothing product. Yeah, there's no vein smoothing product. The one ad, the different ad this time, it says, your dream job does not exist. You must create it. And then it's getting people to open their own Nutri shop. But anyway, I had never actually read any of the articles because they're all just like, are you doing the right amount of reps?

Like there's no, you know, inside the stock market with this giant monster. Although a couple months ago I was going through the magazine and there was like a premiere, a Hollywood premiere of some weightlifting movie right and just the red carpet was great because they these guys can't wear regular tuxedos no and nor would they want to because it covers up uh their one asset oh man there were some real there was one guy in like a sequined uh jacket that was just bizarre. If I was one of those guys, I would get, like, an airbrushed tuxedo painted on. That's a good idea.

That's a great idea. Yeah, like Demi Moore on Vanity Fair. Exactly. Ta-da. Ta-da, indeed. But this time, I was like, oh, there's a profile on a guy, and it was like a day in the life of this weightlifter from Kuwait. Okay. And so they

followed him around and the whole thing... Is there a picture? Can we see a picture of this gent? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, okay. Big Rami. Yeah, he looks like for the listener, he looks... There's a picture of him that makes it look like he's wearing a cape made of meat.

But the profile is super boring because all it is, all he does is lift weights, take naps, and eat. Yeah, you gotta want it. So half of it is just things he ate.

After morning prayers and a quick protein shake he falls back asleep for another hour by this time his wife has gotten up and started preparing the second meal oh yeah he had the shake shake and a nap cereal and oatmeal are not common breakfast foods in Kuwait

something that surprised me across the middle east meats with savory side dishes such as olives are traditionally eaten for the first meal. So his bodybuilding meal plan does not seem out of place here. Ah, yes. He eats chicken, vegetables, a plain sweet potato, while

catching up with friends and checking Facebook on his Galaxy phone. Weird product placement. Which he accidentally crushes. I guess he needs the one with the big screen. While Rami digests his chicken and waits to head to the gym for cardio, he drinks some strong black coffee

and indulges his three-year-old daughter in a game of hide-and-seek. His daughter finds him instantly. Always. Yeah, exactly. That thing finds him instantly. Always. Yeah, exactly. That thing under the couch. Yeah, where's gigantic daddy? I guess half of him is like sticking out of the closet.

He could dress as a couch. When did we get this new chair? He's just always hiding in the gym at home. He's always like, dad. Yeah, trying to do his exercises really quietly. He's so strict with his diet that he won't even add cinnamon

to a sweet potato or spices to chicken. He eats plain white rice. That's how he is. He leaves nothing to chance. Oh, wow. But it's time for his third meal, and Rami's getting antsy, so we head back despite a small crew of admirers. As we walk off the elevator, you can smell garlic, cumin, and other sweet and savory spices.

At the gym? No, he's now back home. Oh, okay. Is somebody making up dinner in the gym? He insists the shrimp in the Gulf are sweeter than anywhere, and he eats a lot of it while dieting because he believes it's the ideal diet food. After a shower, he eats his meal of rice, plain steamed shrimp, and broccoli while we dig into his wife's special shrimp sautéed with onion, garlic, and on and on. Yeah, yeah. The guy gets to eat other stuff.

Or the writer gets to eat other stuff while this guy only eats shrimp. Do you think that the writer is a pencil neck geek or is he also a flexy guy? I think he's probably like a bad flexy guy. I think you get into it. Yeah. Educated flexy guy. Yeah. Like it's not, but it's not just some, you know, somebody who's just trying to get experience writing no matter what the topic.

Yeah. I think he's probably into, like, I think you could write for, if I, like, I would take a job writing for a hockey magazine, even though I can't play. Yeah. Yeah, oh, I see. You have to be into flexing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, aren't we all?

But I think it's the mirrors, right? I think what we're learning is you just need to know what foods are. You need to understand when a guy is taking a nap. While he sleeps, his wife ducks out with the kids to shop at the open-air market for fresh produce and more shrimp. This guy is eating us out of house and shrimp. His fourth meal, eaten shortly after he finishes napping around 1.30, so he's having a fourth meal at lunchtime, consists of more steamed shrimp, a baked potato, and a large salad.

Here's what I didn't realize. His second indulgence of the day is a large glass of Crystal Light. He keeps several flavors on hand. I didn't realize that being a muscle man involves so much napping. All of a sudden now I'm kind of... And showering. He takes multiple showers in a day. Thank God.

Because those guys are nothing. They're 80% grease. Kuwaitis? No, Dave. I hope he brushes his teeth a lot with all that shrimp and food. No, he brushes his teeth with shrimp. Yeah. He's got a special shrimp toothpaste.

Protein toothbrush. Have either of you ever just eaten a shrimp that just doesn't have anything on it? Like just a steamed shrimp? Yeah. Is it good? It's fine. Like without garlic or butter or sauce, dipping sauce? I mean, it's a little fishy.

Yeah. But it's... This guy, that's all he's doing. Yeah. On his birthday, he has a crystal light. Happy birthday, Mr. Muscle Man. And just smells like shrimp in here. Brush your teeth, please, Mr. Shrimp in here. Yeah. Browse your teeth, please, Mr. Shrimp Eater.

Oh, God. I hope we don't owe Patty and Mildred Hill any money. Is that their name? The birthday folks? Yeah. Well, I heard that there's somebody very close to flipping it to public domain. Oh. Yeah.

So finally. Can't wait. We'll be able to sing it from the mountainside to the mountainside. That's the only reason we don't celebrate birthdays on this podcast. Yeah. We don't want to pay them podcast dollars. Yeah, and we don't want to come up with our own brand. Oh, yeah.

Which brings me to what I've been up to. Oh, you went to a chain restaurant? I did. I went and I had dinner with a friend of mine at Red Robin's. This has been lessons learned from Flex Magazine. Red Robin's my favorite restaurant. Can't go. No, no.

Tell me more about why it's your favorite restaurant. Because it's all about the bottomless fries. I forgot about them until I was there this time. I was like, oh, yeah. I don't even let them get to the bottom as I order my first fries. I say, another fries. Now, just to start with.

So let's go two, and then we'll talk later. I like it, too. I don't get the bottomless fries, because I'm not bottomless myself. I'm with bottom. But yeah, when they used to have one on Broadway and Oak, Abby and I would go there for dates. Yeah.

So this is very strange because I was meeting up with my friend and she lived close by and she was like, well, we could go to this place. We could go to Red Robin. And I've known her, my friend Christina, since we were in uh i think junior high like i've known her for a long time grassy at degrassi yeah this is me christina snake wheels spike damien drake yeah the principal uh uh teacher with a mustache Woman teacher we thought was a lesbian. Screech. Brandon Brenda. Tia and Tamara. Zach and Cody.

Yasmin Bleef. Yasmin Bleef. Yeah, Yasmin Bleef. That's right. Six. Jennifer Hanoi. Blossom. Joey.

The drunk brother. Yeah. Buzz. Ian Zierig. Shannon Doherty. Steve Urkel. Steve Urkel was there. The whole staff at Industrial Light and Magic. Sure.

All the horses on Skywalker Ranch. Boba Fett. Django Fett. Django Reinhardt. So we used to, when we were tweens, before you could go out and drink, that's where you go. You go to like a Red Robin or a Denny's or a Perkins and get the bottomless fries, get a coffee, and you could smoke cigarettes inside. It used to be the whole thing. So the Red Robin you went to was the one downtown?

We went downtown. On Robson? Yeah. And it was fucking packed. It was Friday night. It was like a 20-minute wait and so many birthday parties. And the staff has to, when it's somebody's birthday party, they have to come around and go like, It's your birthday.

Yes, it is. Yes, it is. You know, crazy. Crazy chant. Privately owned song. Yeah, exactly. The Red Robins trademarked birthday chant wow what's do you know what it is no but it was like two three four it's your birthday yes it is yes it

is no it's not yes it is um should we uh stop podcasting yourself as a like a high profile property oh it's like a disney property uh Should we come up with our own birthday song? I think the one that you were singing about, Happy Birthday, Mr. Muscle Man, is pretty good. But that's to the theme of... I know, but those lyrics are great. Okay, yeah. Happy birthday, Mr. Muscle Man.

It smells like shrimp in here. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Yeah, and then you just break a plate. That's where I'm going to kill kill you this will be your last birthday and uh so there was a birthday's just every you know every 20 minutes there was another birthday and uh people just went nuts for it and then the bottomless fries though i forgot about it and then they brought me more fries and i was like, same as you did. I was like, oh, boy, I didn't make arrangements for this, because fries do fill you up. Yeah, especially those wedge ones.

Yeah, I think when I was younger, they had normal-sized fries, and they must have just nearly ran themselves out of business, because these wedges are impossible to eat more than you can't eat more than two cups of those fries i'll go sometimes i'll go one more but that's if i'm by myself like eating alone and i got it you know it's my birthday i don't need any salt i've got my tears eating fries by myself and a Red Robin. I would never do it in front of a lady or anything. Oh. Ever.

But when I'm by, I'll go three. I'll definitely go three. But you know what? The lady that you decide to do that in front of, she's the one. Yeah, she's the one.

That's the keeper. I can be myself. Oh, no, that's always what I, like, that's how I got Abby. She was impressed by my appetite. Yeah. When they bring you

the fourth thing of fries, make sure there's a wedding ring to talk about. We'll have thing of fries, make sure there's a wedding ring. We'll have bottomless fries, two straws. Eat this wedge, honey. She bites into a ring. Yeah, breaks her tooth.

So the big thing there, like they're... Famous for their burgers? Well, like the famous thing that they have. Like, what is it? Who has the blooming onion? Oh, that's Chili's. Sure. Yeah. Or what's the onion?

They have an onion ring stack. Yeah. Oh, that's that. Red Robin. Yeah. Somebody behind me got that. I didn't know that was an option. I flipped right to that.

I had the veggie burger, but I would have got the- The towering inferno of- Yeah. The stab of- Yeah. Of onion rings. And then, so that was a lot of fun to go do that. And then the next night, I went out drinking, and I drank, like I really-

What night of the week was this? Saturday. Okay. Like, I really... What night of the week was this? Saturday. Okay. And I don't... Like, I drink beer, you know, and I'll have a couple of beers here and there, but I don't

drink... Like, I don't go out and, like, power drink. Yeah. And... You're not a young man anymore. No. And I tell you, like, I cannot do it. I can't.

Well, it's like bottomless fries. Beer fills you up quite a bit as well. I know, and I don't know how I got so much in me, but man, when I woke up, I had my headphones on. But the thing was, it wasn't plugged into anything. So was I listening to something that just walked away from it? Or did I just never get that far? Like, time for music, and then just never never get that far? Like time or music? And then just never plugged it in.

Are they earbuds or headphones? Headphones. I woke up like that. I was like, huh? And then, you know how everything like you wake up and it's like, you're being birthed out of one of those alien.

Yeah. Yeah. You know, you're like, God, everything's gunky. It's the hottest ears ever. Yeah.

I did. I woke up and I was like, oh, no, I'm deaf. Maybe you went home and you were like, something was really loud and bothering you. Oh, yeah. So you put them on as muffs. Maybe I was, yeah, maybe I was smart. Maybe I was a smart drunk. But the rest of the evidence in the room would speak to the contrary.

Were you fully clothed or were you? No shirt, but everything else still intact intact like pants with a belt on yeah i don't wear a belt usually but yeah pants no shirt with a rope yeah you're like a dazed and confused movie that that's perfect yeah yeah yeah so uh and then that was the whole sunday was just like recovering and just feeling just terrible, just feeling like a bag of trash. But keeping the earphones on all day. Absolutely. I put them there for a reason. I just had to solve the mystery.

I was just walking around town, plugging them into various music sources to see, was this one? That would be a fun mystery. Oh, yeah. You should write that novel. Yeah. What would I call it? I need a title from you and a title from you before the end of the podcast. Not to put you on the spot.

Okay. Okay. I'm going to think. I'm starting to think about it right now. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Don't, don't, don't, you know, just work on it.

Dave, should we do some business? Yeah. All right. That music means it's a business. Actually, we didn't play the theme this time. Here's a new thing. I like the theme a play the theme this time. Here's a new thing. I like the theme a lot. It's kind of long.

And do you feel like we're doing a lot of business these days? We're doing a lot of business these days. I understand. Okay. I'm not going to fault you for it. If you want to hear the business theme, head to our SoundClown page. SoundClown? This week, the show is brought to you by SoundClown.

It's a website for, you know... For clowns, by clowns. Yeah, honking noises. Ooga. Yeah, the sound of a flower squirting you. But for real, Stop Podcasting Yourself this week is supported by Squarespace, the all-in-one platform that makes it fast and easy to create your own professional website or online portfolio.

I've checked out the website. Yeah. And it's... Same here. It's exciting. Like, we have a website. I don't need another website. I might start up a website.

I own a couple web domain addresses that I have never used. Oh, yeah? Like what? Beardfestival.com. Uh-huh. And I think another one was voteforyourself.com. Oh, what's it? Oh, yeah? Like what? Beardfestival.com. And I think another one was VoteForYourself.com. Oh, what's it? Well, I know I own LubegaBabyNames.com.

Oh, nice. That one's already in use. But next time I make one, I'm definitely using Squarespace. They offer a support team available 24-7. And you don't need a credit card to start building your website. You just go to squarespace.com. And if you use the offer code SPY1, and that's all one word, spy, and the number one. Yeah, SPY1, four digits.

Yeah, to get 10% off your first purchase. And, you know, Squarespace. Everything you need to create an exceptional website. And check out lubegababynames.com. Do you want to move on to Overhearts? I do. I'm Keri Poppy. I'm Ross Blotcher.

And we make a show. Oh no, Ross and Keri. Oh no. We investigate fringe science. Spirituality. Religious groups. Alternative therapies. We investigate fringe science. Spirituality. Religious groups. Alternative therapies. We put ourselves through a lot of uncomfortable situations.

So that you don't have to. Because, really, why would you? For example, I watched a tube be inserted into Ross's anus. That's true, but it sounds terrible out of context. We've tried penis and breast enlargement pills. We spent six months undercover becoming Mormons. We hung out with the 9-11 truthers. The UFO cult,

the Raelians. And we're going to do more. It's one of the newest shows on MaximumFun.org. I am so proud to be an American and to be hosting Throwing Shade with you.

I am proud to have really deep brown eyes. Well, this is actually supposed to be, you, and to be hosting Throwing Shade with you. I am proud to have really deep brown eyes. Well, this is actually supposed to be, you know this is supposed to be a thing so that people listen to our show. I've just been so busy this week. But I'm very happy to be here. The podcast is called... It's called Throwing Shade.

You're the co-host. So Throwing Shade, we talk about... You're the gay co-host. I'm the female co-host. I always forget. We're friends in real life, kind of. And we talk about lady the gay co-host i'm the female co-host i always forget we're friends in real life kind of and we talk about lady and gay issues yeah and we talk about them in a way that that they that is really disrespectful yeah if you like the world and hate yourself please listen to throwing shade yeah

overheard overheards a segment in which uh if you're which if you're keen with your ears and keen with your eyes, you can absorb all these amazing things from the world around you. We always like to start with the guest. Okay. And Paul, if you would. All right. My overheard, just the last four days or something, I went to Whistler to snowboard, which was lovely.

uh four days or something i went to whistler to snowboard which was lovely and um i was getting on a chairlift and there was this like a school a ski school and a bunch of kids and then this kid uh was on my chair and the instructor was like can you make sure he turns right when you get so i i was in charge of this kid me and you know for you know, for a chairlift. And what does a lift pass cost? Lift pass were $109, I think. And you have to be in charge of a kid. Yeah. I got a kid dropped in my lap, you know? So, and it's me and the lady beside me.

And then, so the lady beside me is like trying to talk to the kid and he's from Manhattan. And, and we're just trying to make conversation with him yeah yeah yeah oh yeah and he was a really smart kid so we're trying to like desperately think of anything to kill the conversation like we're just like So the, um, the girl says, Oh, do you like hockey? Like, and, and he was like, yeah, yeah, it's not too bad. And he, and he's like, actually, um, there was a girl that, uh, played hockey, uh, in Manhattan. She was a girl and, and she was a really good goaltender and, uh, and, and we're like, oh, that's really cool.

And then the lady beside me was like, well, maybe she was so good because she was a girl. So that distracted all the guys. That's why they couldn't shoot. And the kid was like, I never said she was pretty. Yeah. Let me off this list these people are idiots she's also wearing a mask and the bulkiest pants have they ever thought about that

does a hockey goalie just a naked lady no one would be able to concentrate and you'd feel bad firing a puck at her. Yeah, of course. Yeah, yeah. Not if you want to win. Yeah.

That's all I'm saying. Who's the sacrifices you got to make? Yeah, I'm so, I'm usually so roided up that I don't see what sex you are or how naked you are.

All I see is shrimp. Yeah. Is there shrimp available? Yes or no? Yeah, and is it flavorless? Yeah. Does it just taste like a shrimp?

Yeah. Honey, I'm going to take a and is it flavorless? Yeah. Does it just taste like a shrimp? Yeah. Honey, I'm going to take a nap. Go buy shrimp. Yeah. I hope I dream about eating shrimp. That's how I get to take all these naps. I count shrimp. And he's dreaming.

They just go into his mouth, like jump over a fence into his mouth. My question about this kid, he's very committed to you knowing that he specifically does not live in Brooklyn or Queens. I'm from Manhattan. Isn't that a big deal, though, in New York, that your borough is not like? Also, what's crazy is doing this thing, researching a thing about phone numbers. And Manhattan has like three area codes just for itself. A lot of people live there. But it's three?

I don't even think our whole province has three. Yeah, it does. All right. 604-250-778. All right. Take that, Manhattan. We're in Manhattan, a province-78. All right. Take that, Manhattan. Manhattan of provinces.

Yeah. Pretty good. Yeah, no, it's, but like, you couldn't do that if you lived somewhere other than New York. You couldn't be like, you couldn't visit New York and be like, yeah, I live in Mount Pleasant. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, where, is there any other city? Not even. Like, I mean, you would say you were from London, right?

You wouldn't say I'm from... Muswell Hill. No, maybe Los Angeles. Yeah, you could be like Santa Monica. Yeah. But he was... Compton. Yeah, that's true.

I'm straight out of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The kid was so... He was sharp as a tack, though. Like a prep school kid? Yeah. Yeah, like Rushmore. Definitely, yeah, yeah and i was like do you do you like canada and he was like it has its points yeah yeah like he's like i find it redundant

um dave you know that your country's empire is dwindling um my overheard is an overseen uh abby and i went out for dinner with some friends on saturday yeah and uh as we were driving through yale town in vancouver that's where i'm from yeah so that's how i introduced myself i'm dave from yale town um as we were driving through yale town uh i saw a guy with two dogs And one of them was enormous He was just standing on the sidewalk At a corner And he had like this giant mastiff

And I pointed it out to Abby And I was like hey check out that huge dog And while we were looking at that dog His other dog who was still pretty big But a little smaller He had trained the dog to get up On it's hind legs and push the button to cross the street oh my god oh wow and it was the greatest it is the greatest yeah yeah

it continues to be find something better to replace good luck how did he do that is there like peanut butter on a lot of yeah he put peanut butter on his genitals and then put his genitals right by the button that's right push the button here we go wow what a great because i as soon as you say like giant dog i always think of uh marmaduke no scooby duke the the lady who kathy bates played on the office she had like giant dogs and she she asks somebody to walk them, and she goes, don't ride them. A lot of people try to ride them. Great Danes are like, they are horse-like. Yeah, and you do want to.

Just because of their ugly faces. And the way they pee. Yeah. And their deliciousness. Oh, absolutely. In puck form. Now, my... They should have called them sea biscuits. Oh, absolutely. In puck form. Now, my... They should have called them sea biscuits.

Wow. Go back. Yeah, go back. It's not too late. We need to go back. Lost, season four. Maybe season three. This, I saw a dude downtown.

Real, let's say, a rubby. Okay, so... downtown real uh let's say a rubby okay so uh did we know this when you first brought up rubbies that it comes from they drink rubbing alcohol no we didn't know that and i'm still not convinced that that's where my uh my mother came up with the term i feel like this term predates rubbing alcohol. But it's like a guy, a grown man who's a... A real skid row living, hard living dude. Yeah. Smells real right. Doesn't take as many showers as the old shrimpy over there. So this dude's walking around just...

And this is... That muscle man who I was describing, he's proving that you are not what you eat. No, that's true. He's not a shrimp. But he is eight meals a day. So I saw this guy downtown, and he's wearing kind of the uniform, baseball hat, destroyed plaid shirt. Baseball hat with the logo of the rubbies. Oh, I thought you meant like with a propeller on top.

Yeah. Pants, dirty, filthy jeans. And then he was wearing a vest, like a winter vest. And on the back, somebody had written, and I don't think it was him. I don't know where he got this from, but he has the coolest slogan I've ever seen written on the back of his jacket. I took a photo of it. I'm not usually that quick with the photos,

but this I was like, I gotta commemorate this. It was done kind of like with whiteout or something like that. It says, cool hip dip. Underneath, in red, it says, tell your daddy. Tell your daddy? There you go. Cool hip dip. And underneath, in red, it says, tell your daddy. Tell your daddy?

There you go. Cool hip dip. Wow. Yeah, check it. Cool hip dip. Tell your daddy. Did you ever... How cool is that?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's like a dog getting up on another dog's back to press a button. That's how cool it is. What is cool hip dip? Well, the dog didn't jump on the other dog to press the button. It just got up on its hind dip oh the dog didn't jump on the other dog to push the button it just got up on its hind leg i thought the dog jumped on the bigger dog that would have been a real uh like i would have crashed my car that's what i thought it was that's why i went crazy what does cool hip dip mean i don't know so why would i tell my daddy i don't know because i think it's a dance like we're gonna do the cool hip dip do tell your daddy

oh boy yeah it's not just like chip dip oh it might be tell your daddy he's having a he's having a pro uh he's having a football day that's amazing isn't that amazing it's amazing and it's got a nice city of vancouver logo in the background so it uh oh good so yeah it really grounds him he's oh yeah he also has stuff written on his pants uh I thought that was just dirt. Oh, no, I think it says... No, I don't know what it says. Something neatly, and then there's a heart. As a kid? Anyways, I'm not sure people didn't draw on him when he was asleep.

Yeah. Now that I'm looking at it. I mean, have people ever drawn anything but a dick on a sleeping person? I don't know. Somebody with a real commitment to just, like, art came up with Cool Hip Dip, Call Your Daddy. Oh, yeah. Tell Your Daddy. It might have been a hep cat.

That's going to be my new, I think, when I hear something real cool, I'm just going to be like, Cool Hip Dip. And then if somebody else is around, basically you, or you, Paul, somebody who knows, then they call back. Tell Your Daddy. Tell Your Daddy. Cool Hip Dip. Tell Your Daddy! Yeah. I like it. then they call your daddy tell you daddy yeah cool hip dip tell you daddy yeah i like did you ever write on like with a ballpoint pen on your like if you had uh converse they still attempted to do on the sides yeah uh and it would come off eventually yeah and that was the good thing about

it because i had like a felt pen uh and i remember i drew on my backpack I wrote the the catchphrase from Parker Lewis can't lose coolness park in this park nice but in coolness I did peace symbols you were hoping for it in the Middle East yeah yeah yeah it was a popular place to wish peace on now we also have overheards yeah that have been sent in from around the world tell your daddy if you want to send one in send it into spy at maximum fun.org and uh this first one this is uh comes from Nicole L. And Nicole L., they're in Pennsylvania, in the curvy roads in the mountains in Pennsylvania. Oh, yeah?

While driving with my sister, brother-in-law, two nephews, six years and ten months, and a niece, seven years old, down a very narrow, very curvy road in the mountains of Pennsylvania. What, the Poconos? Were we talking Poconos? I guess so. Pennsylvania's got it all. It's got the Poconos. It's got Amish country.

It's got the Dutch. Yep. Yep. Pittsburgh. Pittsburgh's there. Pittsburgh. Yeah. Philadelphia.

Home of Scranton. Oh, yeah. It's got the Hershey Highway. Oh, yeah. Yum. So they're going through these roads. They're passed by two motorcycles speeding by. From the backseat, my niece declares, run them over.

I want to see some squished bones. Then proceeded to describe how she was going to learn to play drums with their bones and drink the motorcyclist's blood. Good girl. Yeah. Yeah. That's awesome. Glug, glug, glug, glug. Yeah.

Pretty great. Pretty great little girl. I don't think I could drink blood. I mean, I taste some of my own sometimes. It's like, ah, ah. They always say it tastes metallic, but... Salty, isn't it? Well, no.

It's metallic. But, like, I taste blood more than I taste metal. Why don't they just say that metal tastes bloody? That's true. Yeah. My friend... You can use that in your skits. In your little joke skits um my friend is a uh what i

think it's phlebotomist the people that take blood flabby bob and uh she said like uh all of it's fine except holding the vials is uh super weird because they're super warm yeah after they come out of a person see i couldn't drink warm like freshly killed biker blood i couldn't drink that well don't say never you seem like a guy like if the circumstance was right blood then you just didn't know it i probably yeah yeah you're right yeah yeah yeah um i think i'd have more of a problem with chilled blood to be honest yeah no how long has this been around for yeah that's true's true. But the warm blood, yeah, that would creep me out. But I also don't like sitting in a chair right after someone.

Yeah. And the seat's still warm. Like, I don't even like warm butts. Oh, no, that's true. Although. Cool your butts, everyone. Hold on to your butts. Keep them cool.

Tell your daddy. Cool it. Nope. This next one comes from Dave F. from Indiana. I was recently at a grocery store where various employees were offering free samples of items throughout the store. I witnessed this exchange between two young employees. Young dude number one was offering samples of Monster Energy drink. Young dude number two was on his break going around the store trying free samples from other employees.

Young dude one, you want a sample of monster energy, man? Young dude number two, fuck yeah. Young dude number one, so what they got you offering samples of today? Young dude two, bitterly. Fucking soup. Fuck yeah. Would you buy if they came up with like a monster energy soup? Yes.

You would get it? If you could combine the caffeine rush of a monster energy drink with the deliciousness and healthiness of soup, then I would do it in a second monster energy bisque you're an energy drink man though aren't you no no i uh he likes a nice cold coke i like a coca-cola yeah i like uh i like a cup of coffee a cop of coffee um sergeant coffee

and uh but yeah no energy drinks i can't uh i can't handle them i get so jittery yeah you know i don't feel like it's energy well spent it's just like energy that i don't know what to do with can't deal with the flavor they're way too sweet yeah you uh no i don't like them i mean i'm i've been no like if i need to pick up before a show or something i'm tired from uh whatever i sometimes will have diving off of cliffs yeah diving off of cliffs yeah that day i needed to have a vodka red bull so if i'm if i'm before a show and i'm super tired i'll have one vodka red bull and then i'm good good is that does the vodka kind of balance out the syrupy sweetness because kids will just drink red bull like it's a yeah kids can do that kids um i remember when like that became a popular drink there were like

news stories about you know psychosis caused by vodka red bull like people would go into a i mean allegedly go into a murderous fog. Yeah, I call them disco waters. No one else does. Oh, disco waters is really good. Oh, man, he's going to win this headphones murder mystery. Yeah, yeah, remember, the end of the podcast is not about that. But he came out with disco waters? Disco water, yeah.

And the bartender, like, I'll have a disco water, and they always do the same thing, just stare at me blankly, and I just let it hang out there until... Nobody calls it that? What are disco biscuits? Are those like pills? Oh, I thought... Isn't that ecstasy?

Oh, yeah. Maybe ecstasy. Some kind of pill. Yeah. That you eat, but only the giant biscuit kind ones. Disco wafer? Yeah. Disco wafer? Yeah. Disco crackers.

I lost my email, so you gotta find it. Oh, no, buddy. Don't worry, I'll find it. I have it. You sent it to both of us. That's true, I do. Don't worry, it'll pop up here. We can fill time

we're pretty good how are you guys coming along on that mystery I got one idea I'm not super excited about it but it's gonna win for sure mine is bad

so refresh my memory what I'm supposed to be coming up with it's about it's a mystery novel yep about uh you waking up with these headphones and i gotta go around town plugging the headphones into different oh that's definitely the plot well no i mean that's an element of the plot okay there's also a murder yo oh, blah, blah, blah. Someone's been strangled with headphones. Yeah, yeah, exactly. And I'm the number one suspect.

But I know it's not me. Or do I? Am I capable of murder? I had a lot of Red Bulls. Yeah, you were in a disco fog. Disco murder fog. Disco wafers. Okay, this last one comes from Ben D.

Bendy. Oh, like my favorite kind of straw. Okay, this last one comes from Ben D. Ben D. Oh, like my favorite kind of straw. Now, do you guys not say the last name on purpose? Yeah, we started it as just sort of like a callback to elementary school. Yeah, where you'd be like, you know, Paul M. Paul M. Yeah, yeah, because there's always Paul. Okay, cool.

So this is from, do you know somebody, a musician, I guess, called Deltron 3030? It's a group. Okay. Is it the one with Kid Koala? Maybe. Is that them? This really sucks because that was going to be my name for the whole stream. Oh, I know.

Shit. Back to the drawing board. Okay. This is a quick one, but it is good. I was recently in Indianapolis, Indiana. Oh, a lot of Indiana ones. Oh, yeah. You got to.

This is the Hoosier cast. America's Crossroads. Attending a Deltron 3030 show. There was a long, slow line to get in. It is the one with Kid Koala, Dan the Automator, and Del the Funky Homo Sapiens. Oh, nice. So they're going into the venue. I heard a guy say to his girlfriend, oh, man.

And then he takes a deep breath. I can taste the groove already. Oh, boy. Can you imagine? Yeah, get into it. Imagine if you had had sex one time with that guy. Like she had. It was his girlfriend. And she was like, like oh it's too late i'm pregnant of course condoms don't work on this guy

this kind of guy gets people pregnant just by thinking about it yeah i can taste your pregnancy oh gross, gross. We're going to name our baby Groove. Tell his daddy. Which is me. I am... Oh no, Dave's falling down a well. No, he's in a tornado. In addition to overhands that are written in,

we also accept your phone calls. If you want to call us, our phone number is 206-339-8328 like these people have. Hey guys, this is Jay from California calling with an overheard. My wife and I are in San Francisco

right now and we're walking around downtown and these 220-something girls walk past us and one of them said to her friend, I really want to get into reflexology, but I don't want to touch people's feet. Understood. Yeah.

I bet you that is sidelined a lot of future podiatrists interest in the, but if more men start getting their toes painted, like you want, like I demand, yeah, look, guys got to do something about their gnarly feet and now it's all it's not even february yet but guys get into the lab and start the bat cave yeah start working

on some uh some foot improvements because uh right yeah ladies do a great job with their feet uh year in year out they're doing it and uh we all are fine with the ladies wearing sandals. Guys are the worst. Yeah, what foot improvements would you suggest? Like, most people don't know. Nail care. Okay. Number one.

Corns. Corns. Got to take care of them. Any kind of weird toe knuckle hair needs to be taken down a notch. Mine is blonde. Well, you're fine. Not a problem. Blonde and wispy is fine.

It's crazy. My feet are covered in bugs. Is that a problem? I don't like it. I don't like it. I could crawl all over it. No, I don't like it. All over my feet.

It kind of looks like i'm wearing those um uh those like uh aqua socks but it's bugs it's bugs it's a dark layer of bugs crawling all over oh what's the next overheard already hey dave graham and delightful guests this is sarah from fetchesburg virginia calling with an overheard. I was walking through the parking lot of a Wegmans grocery store, and I happened to walk past a vehicle. It was an SUV, and there was a father and maybe his about 7-year-old son, and then there was a small baby in the cart,

and the dad was unloading the groceries and i was singing a little song and the baby girl was um happily bopping along and as i got closer i heard the lyrics to the song which were test tube baby and uh yeah i barely made it into the story before i started laughing test tube baby yeah well uh do you what was the kid, the kid was singing this? No, the dad was singing this to the kid. This is what you are. We don't know who you are. Yes. You might have been a robot and an Erlenmeyer flask.

I don't know. I think that's what a test tube baby is. It's when someone has sex with some kind of petri dish. I think it's when a bunch of guys all do it into a flask, and then they just pour that flask onto the egg. They paint it on. Yeah. They drizzle it on. Like artisanal drizzle.

Yeah. Artisanal drizzle. That's like if you're in a fraternity, but like a science frater like a science fraternity yeah yeah yeah you make a baby for your pledge yeah i know that a couple like a lesbian couple i'm friends with in london i've i've expanded that's that's good i have a lesbian couple friend yeah you needed you needed more diversity in your group of friends yeah yeah definitely so i got the uh and they're the greatest people but they're trying they're gonna have a test tube baby and it's really interesting because you can like you can read stats and you can you can build a baby the way you like they're like okay we're really thinking of like a mediterranean uh sperm because like that nice olive skin and you can build a you

can real bad reason yeah for skin color but it's it's wild you can build what you want they know they're thinking iranian because of added like fiery nice attitude and dark yeah crazy shrimp consumption we've got all these shrimp anyway we own this mediterranean because of health reasons yeah like a mediterranean diet um have they uh or also is test tube baby the phrase these days the pay phrase that pays it's that song i just know it from the song test tube baby did you beluga did they ever uh approach you about being uh in the soup uh oh yeah in the mix yeah yeah um throw in your two cents your energy soup yeah your monster energy throw your crotch hat into the ring yeah uh no well we talked i like obviously joked about it

for sure yeah yeah yeah because i was like why spend all this money you know like we could just yeah yeah you have a mug over there yeah you got a paintbrush and some eggs paintbrush and some eggs oh yeah no yeah you take you do it like pause like uh like an easter egg you take the egg and you dip it into a test tube baby like it's not it's is it in one of their bodies? Yeah, one of them has to gestate. But it's not fertilized in the test tube. It's turkey-based. Not necessarily. Sometimes they fertilize the egg and then implant the fertilized egg into the uterus. Wowie, wow.

Because trying to fertilize it in the uterus is just, it's a real two-shot in the dark. Yeah. That's another great mystery name for it. Yeah. Two-shots in the dark. Yeah, yeah. But it's called introvino? Introvino?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, because you have to drink a lot of wine. Yeah. In utero? In vitro. In vitro. Yeah.

That's the one. Yeah. Introvino. Litrovino. Yeah. When you're? In vitro. In vitro. Yeah. That's the one. Yeah. Intervino. Litrovino. Yeah. When you're here, you're family. Yeah. Here is your final overheard of 2014.

Is he the golf guy? Yeah. Yeah. It's a nice smile. You are now in the parking lot. Oh, that's Lee Carvalho. There are many Lee golfers. Lee Valley.

Lee Westwood. Yeah, with names that end in O. Hey, team, this is Mav calling in for an overheard. I was administering first aid to somebody who was having a seizure at a library right by the computers. at a library right by the computers. And I told the one guy who was sitting on a chair just right next to the dude having the seizure that he had to leave and clear out his chair. And one of the guys who was super pissed

about interrupting his Facebook session, I guess, walked past the guy having a seizure and said, Thanks for ruining my day, Wayne. And then walked off. Oh, wow. Wayne was the perfect name to end off that sentence. Thanks, Wayne. Thanks for the seizure.

I remember there was a kid that had some sort of seizure, not epileptic, but some sort of seizure. Pokemon seizure. Yeah, in junior high. And a kid that was sitting like at the same table a cafeteria table took all of his uh pages out of his three-ring binder and threw them in the air i don't know if he thought like if he thought this is my chance to have an excuse why my homework's but it was so distracting like there was kind of a panic, and a teacher was like, okay, everybody clear out.

Then this kid, like, this binder, he just made it explode. Oh, wow. Yeah. It was really crazy. There used to be, like, seizure awareness commercials on TV. Oh, yeah. And there was one. They were all in schools.

Yeah. There was one where, like, this kid was having a seizure, and having a seizure and someone jabbed a Smarties tube in his mouth so he wouldn't bite off his tongue. And then another kid was like, you're not supposed to do that. Yeah, you're not supposed to do anything because the body, even though it's having a seizure, is not going to swallow their tongue or anything. But the other one was, it was in a classroom and it wasn't like a kid wasn't having a visible seizure. He was just perfectly still, and the teacher was getting mad at him. And then one of the kids piped up and totally put the teacher in his place. He's having a seizure.

Yeah, teacher. You get an F. You can have non-shaking seizures. Yeah, I think it's just sort of like a private seizure for yourself. Oh, yeah. I like it. Take some time to enjoy the view. Now, that brings us to the end of this here episode.

Have we come up with a name for this thing? Yeah. Dave, hit me with a name. Stereo Memento. I like it. Stereo Memento. Real good. Real conjures up an image. Yeah sense paul hit me i'm gonna i'm gonna go for another sequel because that's kind of a sequel

right yeah yeah yeah it's from the the memento verse yeah but i'm gonna go with uh dude where's my headphones um you know what's your head yeah on your head so the problem solved right yeah dude where's my head i'm gonna give the win to dave the main stereo memento sorry no don't be offended no i'm not offended i was like i agree dave won the uh the idea of you going around to different stereos and plugging it in i was has sort of a cinderella vibe oh yeah stereo cinderella memento yeah there is cilirenda cilirenda stereo cinderella memento memento uh now paul if people want to uh see you in the because you're going to calgary you're you travel all over the world where can people find out where you're going to be uh you can go to my website at paul meyerhogg.com spell my hug um it is m y r e h a u g there you go m y r e h a u g or you can follow me on twitter at paul at paul capital p capital m

meyerhogg and i'm blowing up on twitter i don't matter i'm like yeah capitals don't matter no but i'm like i'm i'm so'm so close to Hollywood's taking notice. Like I have like 300. It's crazy. That's how you got that pass at Disneyland. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you joined the revolution, got like my tweets. Dave, do we have anything we need to plug?

I have a friend, both of ours, who works with us, Steve Venegas. Yes. You may know him as the guy who poses with Gap Mannequins for the Gap Mannequin Project. He hosts a podcast called Steve and John, the Steve and John Power Hour with Steve and John. And I was a guest on that recently. So you can listen to that. And I was a guest on it a couple months ago. It's a fun show.

Yeah, what fun. Oh, what fun. We get to talk about ourselves. Yeah. Who doesn't love that? And each and every Monday, if you live in Vancouver or are visiting Laugh Gallery at the Havana Theater, good time, good friends, good fun.

Hosted by Graham. Yeah. I give away prizes. Havana Theater. Good time. Good friends. Good fun. Hosted by Graham. Yeah. I give away prizes. You've been giving away a lot of erotica? Yeah. I've been giving away Babies and Bachelors USA books. These are books about pregnant women and men. Who find sexy.

Single pregnant women who, yeah. Who find sexy men that also would be good fathers. Yeah. Yeah. So get on it yeah and uh that's monday nights and uh if you like the show tell your friends check out maximum fun.org check out the blog recap that uh dave puts together every week for the podcast videos and pictures relating to the content of the episode maybe a a picture of a horse. Yeah, possible.

You know what? I got a picture of those horse chips. Oh, yeah, yeah. I'll put that in. I'll put... Cool hip dip? Tell you that! There you go.

Send me that. I'll put it in. And if you like the show, tell your friends. Go to iTunes. Leave a review. Paul, thanks for being our guest. Yeah, thanks for having me again. A pleasure.

And come on back next week, I guess, for another enthralling episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself. MaximumFun.org Comedy and culture. Artist-owned. Listener-supported.