Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 312 - Morgan Brayton

Episode Date: March 10, 2014

Morgan Brayton returns to talk cat traps, boring dreams, and baby holding.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello, everybody, and welcome to episode number 312 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name's Graham Clark, and with me, as always, is a man, what a man, what a man, what a mighty good man, Mr. Dave Shumka. You've used that one before. Yeah, but it's evergreen. I wish I could use it every time.

You can! I will! Thanks. Just watch me. Okay. Just watch me. Okay. And our guest today on the show, a very funny lady, a writer, producer, director?

Yeah, sure. Actress, comedian, all these things. Mother, wife, cat owner, Morgan Brayton is our guest. Thanks for being back on the show. I'm so excited to be back. Thanks. I thought I was banned. Yeah. Yeah, you were. You you were But then we had a parliament

And we decided to lift the ban We said, hey, can we get Morgan Brayton And you said, who? And I said, the woman from She was in that bird watching movie There you go With Jack Black Oh, right, good memory

Thanks It was the last thing I did So it's not hard to forget No, that's not true You've done all last thing I did, so it's not hard to forget. No, that's not true. You've done all sorts of things. Oh, God. Go ahead and do your thing.

Get to know us. Now, you are always busy. You're never not doing things, right? Unfortunately, true, yes. You were a little late tonight because you had to capture a neighborhood cat. I had to try and trap a cat. I have to go. We should move this along so I can go and check the trap to see if I have it. We just started.

Let's move things along, Dave. All right. Let's catch up with me then. No, I just have to go and see if the cat is in the trap. Okay. But if the cat is in the trap. And what about bees in the trap? Yeah.

And then do you let the cat out of the bag? It's not in a bag. It's in a trap. Aren't you listening? Okay. So you have been hired by, you're like the A-team for cats. You are, you're a mercenary cat trap. And if you can find me.

Yeah. C-A-team. Trappist. And if you can find me. Yeah. CA team. And you, some neighborhood lady was like, hey, this cat is all messed up. Yeah.

I don't, trapping is not my usual job. You're more of a cuddler? But I can do it. Or a gatherer. If I need to. Sure. I work with, I volunteer with a cat rescue here in Vancouver. Vancouver Orphan Kitten Rescue Association, VOCRA. And I do a bunch of things with them from fundraising to fostering to driving to trapping.

Trapping is not what I usually do. But a teacher from my kid's school called me tonight and was like, there's this cat I've been trying to get and it's injured. And your kid keeps bragging about what a great cat trapper you are. What a great trapper his mom is. Yeah. So I was like, I'm on my way. And I just actually happened to have a trap. I just put the siren on top of the car.

I totally need them those uh so yeah i went and set the trap uh for the cat uh put the you put the tuna in the back of the trap and then the cat goes in and they step on the thing and then it closes the cat trapping day one some people put it on the front no they don't know yeah now they do how often do these uh traps you know, your raccoons or a rat? Or a bunch of rats. Interesting pronunciation of raccoons. It can happen, sure. Or it can catch the wrong cat. Oh, sure.

What happens if you catch the wrong cat? Do you just have to let it go? And if it comes back to you, it's yours forever? If it doesn't, it never was. Yeah. Yeah. Well, generally, you try to, you know, I said, well, when has this cat been seen? Is it seen at the same time every day?

Or, you know, sometimes they have a... You know. They're creatures of habit. Your cat questionnaire. Exactly. Yeah. I have a few questions here. Why do you want to work here at the cat?

That doesn't make any sense. Why do you want to work here at the cat? That doesn't make any sense. Why do you want to work at the cat? I've been job interviewing. My brain is totally in a different place. So, yeah, you generally try to set the trap in the place and time when the cat is known to come around so that you are sure to catch the cat. Now, speaking of job interviews, what's the worst job interview that you've ever gone to dave um i had a string where like any like i wasn't great at getting an interview right uh you know uh from you know sending in a resume but i had a string of anytime i got an interview i got

the job oh so you've never really had a bad job. You auditioned well. But then I had like, that string ended. I think I've probably talked about this before, but I had a job interview. I had been a video editor for a long time, and then I saw that the Coquitlam Police Department was hiring like a forensic video analyst. Oh, cool. police department was hiring like a forensic video analyst oh cool and so it would be like oh you'd have to take uh footage from uh you know security cameras and stuff and i was like having i was imagining that i would be able to get out of speeding tickets and i'd you know

god i gotta go down to the shooting range and blow off steam they give me a gun and a final cut pro turn in your final cut pro and your gun your disgrace um and uh but the job interview was going well except that there were three people interviewing they had questions they all had like a script of questions and everything they wrote down like give us three specific examples of yeah like it was a government thing and it was like really regulated and i uh didn't do great in that just because i was i was i'm more of like a hey let's you know why don't you just why don't i just get you to like me yeah yeah yeah oh but you had to answer like specific scenario yeah like uh for uh being qualified yeah

but now because now everyone's doing sort of you know we're gonna do the interesting interview questions right right like uh i didn't actually have it uh but i was prepared for it because i recently interviewed somewhere where i you, you know, you can find their interview questions for big corporations online. Oh, really? This is the new world we live in, guys. And you just interviewed at, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, of a big corporation name but i was gonna say gynocorp see now that job i would have got yeah you're overqualified so so but they they have you know they want to do they want to be creative with their questions right so i was prepared because i read that they always ask two questions what is your superpower and what is your spirit animal oh what did you answer well i didn't luckily it didn't come up but i was prepared because

apparently uh someone had the in the example that was used online they'd got the job because they said they were a duck because ducks are calm on the surface, but always, their little webbed feet are always going underneath the surface. They got the job because of that? He was dangerously underqualified. He looks fine, but he is incredibly anxious. Constantly pedaling, that guy.

We don't know. Give him a pedal desk. Well, so that's the thing you have to do, because I said... What if the guy was like, I'm like a duck, and they filled in the rest? They're like, because I said... What if the guy was like, I'm like a duck, and they filled in the rest? They're like, yeah, because you peddle. And he's like, I was going to say I like eating wet bread. I got a corkscrew penis. Is that true about ducks?

Yeah. Why do you know that? I think it was on an episode of Radiolab. Probably. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I asked my wife... They use the corkscrew to... Wait, you have wait you have a wife yes wait what year is it i asked my wife what uh my uh spirit i don't be and she's like of course cat and i'm like you

can't say cat because then you just seem lazy and nobody will give you a job so i was prepared to say meerkat because they work in families. They travel. They're good in teams, and then they work with other teams. And hold on to your hats, boys. Here we go. They always sit up on their hind legs to see what's coming next. They're always aware, right, what's coming down the pike.

Yeah. What about you? It didn't come up. Spirit animal. Spirit animal. Go. Hit it. Probably a meerkat for the reasons mentioned above. And they're adorable. what's coming down the pike yeah what about it didn't come up oh spirit animal go probably a

meerkat for the reasons mentioned above and they're adorable let's not forget i don't know if i have a spirit animal what am i i don't know camel yeah because uh because i spit a lot i got a lot of gross habits uh weird humps yeah yeah i did have one removed. Yeah, that's right. Did you say all this gross stuff about yourself? Yeah. Oh, yeah. I'm a nightmare to be around. I gotta go to the bathroom in a box. I guess that's cats again.

Wait, that's a camel? I'm not very familiar with camels, so maybe so. I think I might be a camel. Yeah. Fair enough. I walk all day. And the superpower one? What was your...

No, no, no. What's your spirit animal? Probably, you know, I don't know, a gorilla, I guess. Strong, mighty, smart. You are not a gorilla at all. You know what the funny part about that is? Is that Guy McPherson, Comedy Reaver for the Georgia Straight, we were having this conversation, and he said gorilla.

Yeah. I think every guy would. He is not a gorilla. No, I know, were having this conversation and he said gorilla. Yeah. And I think he is not a gorilla. No, I know. Right. Both. Graham's more of a gorilla.

The other woman that was there and me, we were both like, no, you're not a gorilla. And he was like, yes, I'm totally a gorilla. And he had like, they were like pensive and he

had this whole thing and we were like, no, they beat their chests and they're pensive. What are they thinking about all day? I sit around all day doing nothing and I don't think about anything. I'm smarter than a dumb gorilla.

Yeah, you're a camel. That's right. Way smarter. Spirit animals. I don't know. I don't know. Well, you could be a belly goat with your beard. I guess I could.

That would be great for a job interview. Because I got this beard. You've noticed how crazy I look. How about a goat? It's similar. I like eating cans. One time I ate a can on a deer. But they jump up on things.

They're really mean, ornery. In some cultures, they are associated closely with Satan. Yeah, right. If you're in cooms, that would be good because they're up on the roof. They can keep an eye on everything. Yeah, exactly. I got the these. If you're in Coombs, that would be good because they're up on the roof. They can keep an eye on everything. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly.

I've got these cloven hooves. If you ever job interview in Coombs, BC, you're set. I'm a goat. Yeah. What was your superpower? Do you have that answer ready there? No. Flight.

How come? Because we've been on a plane. Twice. There and back. Oh, man. Job interviews are the worst. They're the worst. And everything now, like I said,

there's, you know, these innovative questions and even the application process, like this one place that I applied to had an online application. And then it had, you know, in less than 150 characters, tell us what makes you unique and impress us. And I was like, oh, God.

And I spent seven hours trying to figure out what to write. It just took me forever. I was just like, I was so panicked by trying to make it. That's not a lot of characters. Yeah. Yeah. Emojis. Just do emojis. I guess the plural of emoji is emoji. Yeah. Oh, that's like a lot of characters yeah emojis, just do emojis

I guess the plural of emoji is emoji like aloha that's why we hired him when he said the thing about emojis or emoji thank you so why don't you just work as a cat person because there's no money in that

what? there was everybody in Purina yeah but that's they're not the people that are helping there is everyone at vocra from like from the directors to the people who the trappers um you know but yes but no um everybody's volunteer there's i mean it's every cent that we raise through fundraising, because I do fundraising stuff for them. I just hosted their Oscar gala, Oscar party last weekend. Did all the cats dress up like the different...

This one's 12 years of sleep. That's right. One had to lose a bunch of weight to be a math economy. Yeah, this one's gravity. That's right. This is Dallas Byers Club. Now we're trying to find them back up. That is a thing. That's a, this is Dallas Byers Club. Now we're trying to find them back up. That is a thing.

That's a real thing. So yeah, nobody gets paid. I would, but this is the ridiculous thing, right? There's all these companies with lots of money, and then there's companies that have no money. But then there's no such thing as a cat daycare, because cats just stay at home by themselves all the time. Yeah, getting up to mischief. There's no cat walking, so you can't do that. Sleeping really is what they're doing.

They sleep like 18 hours a day. Yeah, well, I'm trying to just say... I've never met a cat. Really? Dave, you have too. I remember one time seeing you and a cat. I've never met a cat. No, that's not true. I've never seen a cat. Oh, now you're just silly.

Well, Dave is a camel, though. Well, you can come on over to my house. It wouldn't run in the same... How many cats currently live in your house? Dude, you keep bringing up this camel thing. If you had a job interview where they ask you your spirit animal, how much would you hate if they were like, hey, how you doing? Camel guy.

Like, every day after you get the job. Yeah, every time they drink water, they're like, not for you, right, camel? You're the one who asked the dumb question. Who's going to project manage this? Get the camel on it. Yeah, camel. Two hopes, get it in. Hey, Wednesday, your favorite day, am I right?

Hump day. I got it. Oh, fun. Oh, dear. Now, Graham was asking an important question. How many cats are in your house right now? I only have four cats right now. But you might have five.

Yeah. Well, we might have five for one night if the cat's in the trap, and then I got to take it and put it in my bag. What's the most you've had cats in the trap? In your house. Well, we recently had, so recently five of our own cats. Okay. One of our cats who is 18 just passed away in December.

I'm sorry. Lucy. Thank you. But we foster for Vokra. So, you know, we'll have a litter or two of kittens. So we might have five and then like another five and maybe like another five. But they're not staying. They're just, we're just taking care of them while they're kittens

until they're adopted. Yeah, so is this like the best thing ever? You have two kids. Yeah. And do they love it? They're allergic. It's a nightmare every day. They have to stay in the basement.

Yeah, the cats come first. What's the rule? um that's the rule they they yeah uh my son likes it more but they they like the like you know hanging out with kittens part they don't like the scooping boxes and cleaning up after them kind of part i think cats did that themselves these days. I thought cats had evolved. Please put me in touch with these cats, because I would like that very much. Some cats have thumbs. Am I thinking of raccoons again? You're always thinking of raccoons.

Raccoons definitely clean up after themselves. They're very tidy animals. Yeah. Sometimes in the middle of the night, raccoons come into the yard to rearrange the deck furniture. Yeah. Sometimes you'll be like, did I hear the lawnmower? And then you're like, no, impossible. But three of them have stood on each other's shoulders and are mowing the lawn.

You wake up, our place looks amazing. No, impossible. But do you not hear it still? No, you just go back to bed. You're tired. You got a big day. Yeah, that's true. You got a big job interview.

Raccoon is my spirit animal. Because I've got thumbs. And I come out at night. I'll eat garbage. I'm not above it. And I wear this mask all the time. You're hired at Burglar Co. And I'm related to a panda. Oh, are they really?

Mm-hmm. Huh. Wow. Pandas aren't bears. They can be mean, though. You don't want to mess with a raccoon. Raccoons? Oh, yeah.

My friend had to kill a raccoon that was attacking her cat. Whoa. I know. It was really horrible. My friend had to kill a raccoon that dishonored her family. How did she kill the raccoon? Oh, I don't really... I don't know why I brought it up,

because now I have to talk about it, with a baseball bat. Wow! No, it's really intense. Yeah, we win. I know, sorry. That was my fault. I'm pretty amazed by that.

That somebody... Like, this isn't a person who would regularly kill animals. No, absolutely not. She totally also works in animal rescue, but, you know, somebody's messing with your cat. Make an omelet. You have the expression, right? You gotta make an omelet?

Yeah, you gotta make an omelet. Go! Scream it! Not sure that's how it goes. And raccoons almost killed my neighbor's dog. Really? Yeah. Like a gang of them?

Yeah. Well, and she was just like a little, I don't know what, like a little white little dog. I think that's what they're called. A poofy little white dog. And yeah, it was just super. And because they got the big claws and it just was like scooping out her insides. It was horrible. We saw a raccoon fight

in the neighborhood a year ago. Everyone came out from their houses because they were screaming and just wrestling and pulling and biting on each other. They might have been having sex. Oh, maybe. Exhibitionist right?

Everybody out of your house. 7 o'clock at night, everyone was like... Maybe a little later. Everyone was sort of ready for bed. Some people were in their jammies. And everyone came out to sort of watch and figure out what was happening. And then eventually like, all right, let's break this up. So did you get a hose or something?

Some people came on with like a hockey stick, I think, to sort of pry them apart. Separate them. Oh, wow. And then just see what would happen if they were separated, would one run away? Right. They're adorable, but they're mean. Oh, yeah. But you could say that about a lot of animals. Yeah, most things that are adorable

are mean. Yeah, hippos. Hippo would just as soon kill a hippo. Really? Yeah, they kill more than sharks. Sharks, yeah. Yeah, hippos. Hippos just as soon kill as... Are hippos mean? Really? Yeah, they kill more than... Sharks. Sharks, yeah. Yeah, more than guns. More than sharks or guns. More than heart disease. More than donkeys.

Oh, more than donkeys. When my wife and I first started dating, I'm not a camper. This may come as a surprise to you, but I don't care for the outdoors. And your wife is? Yeah. And so she was trying to convince me to go camping and I didn't want to go and I had all my reasons.

Indoors. More indoors. These are the reasons. Pretty much it. Comfort. Part of my list was not wanting to be killed by an axe murderer oh and she was like that doesn't happen and she had some statistic that she said more people are killed by donkeys every year than by a axe murderers and did you know that most of the donkeys that do the killing

they know they're friends of the family yeah yeah yeah somebody that they know they're not strange donkeys they're donkeys that the family. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Somebody that they know. They're known to the... They're not strange donkeys. They're donkeys that the family knew. But then I was just afraid of donkeys. And I just had to, like... I was just pretty sure that we would be... I don't want to go camping now because of the donkey.

Right? We'd just be lying in our tent, and then we'd see, like, the shadow of, like, a hook. Like, a hook for a... Not a hand, I guess. Hook for a face. No, it's like they have not paws. What do donkeys have? Hooks. Hooks. Like a hook instead Like a hook for a... Not a hand, I guess. Hook for a face. No, it's like they have not paws. What do donkeys have?

Hooves. Like a hook instead of a hoof. I would just be like... As it like... You know, the hook like flew through the tent and killed us. Hook doesn't scare me like axe scares me. Right. Chainsaw.

Has any set of campers ever been murdered by a guy with an axe that's just been roaming around in the woods? Has that ever happened? Have you never seen movies? Yeah, I know that it happens in movies, but has it ever actually happened? But a lot of things in movies don't happen. It doesn't matter whether it's happened or not, really. It just frightens me. But it kind of does.

Plus, it's outdoors. Yeah, it is outdoors. But if you were a guy who really was into killing going from tent to tent in the dark would be a very difficult way of going about it especially when the city has so many people that are just just idiot people just walking around it's not as dramatic and exciting i mean in the movies the people are idiots that are killed yeah yeah that's true they're usually skinny dipping. Yeah, making out. Making weird teenage love.

I mean, the first two are the dumbest. Which is what I do when I go camping with my wife. The first murdered are always the dumbest. But then everyone else is sort of like, they're in it, but they didn't ask for this. And then the smart one is the one that lives. I guess so. The virtuous one. Yeah.

Smart doesn't necessarily get you all the way through but yeah virtue do you like camping uh yeah by like that being said i haven't gone he's a goat he likes eating cans i like standing on roofs uh i haven't been camping since like college like i haven't but you need a car you can't just get on a bus and then get off at a stop and set up a tent so you can but i don't know if that's camping technically no you're right that's squatting yeah just general loitering uh yeah i like it fine you know but i i mean if somebody was like hey we're all going camping, I would go. But I don't go out by myself like, I gotta go reconnect with nature.

But there's those guys that do that. They're like, I need a week away. To just go scream at the trees. I don't care for that. Light a fire. Something tells me Dave's not a camper. No, Abby apparently is. Really? But we never have. Never ever ever the whole time you guys she has been like hey dave uh we should we should go

camping sometime like nope i don't i'm not into it uh and she but she doesn't have supplies or anything it's not like she could uh you know spearhead the initiative right like we'd have to get a tent and sleeping bags and whatever. Coleman stove. Yeah. Well, this is how I got lured in because my wife is like, I got all stuff. I got a fancy tent. We got like a blow up mattress and I got, you know, like I'm going to cook this amazing

food. Right. Totally sucked in with the glamping. But then it poured rain like insanely poured now it's damp i mean i think it probably over inflated the air mattress and so then it broke yeah but not right away not right away just like slowly overnight and so i woke up to being freezing cold soaking because there was a leak in this tent that she bragged about. It was pouring rain.

On the cold, hard earth. It was just terrible. I'm always about the silver lining, guys. I never had to go camping again. And was that going to be like a three-day trip that you made a one-day trip? Yeah. We're going back. 5 a.m.

Pack it up and go. Let's go. We didn't get murdered. It a.m. Back it up and go. Let's go. We didn't get murdered. It's a win. Damn it. I'm a disappointed donkey. So sad. Yeah.

You didn't get to murder us. The last time that I went was in college, and there was this idiot guy that we went camping with. And he wouldn't stop messing around with the bear spray. The whole time he kept twirling it around like it was a like a pistol uh-huh and we kept saying uh you should stop doing that because it's gonna it's gonna fire off and then it's gonna make you really miserable and then at three four in the morning then we heard this like blood curdling scream because he had he had it in his fucking tent and was fucking around with it. At four in the morning.

Yeah. Well, he was drunk and fired it off in the tent, and him and his girlfriend then had no place to sleep because they were covered in pepper spray. Anyways, we laughed. It was great. You laughed until a bear came. Yeah. And he was safe.

You're laughing to spray them with. Yeah. The bears just don't like pepper. So they just stay away from the pepper people. It's bitter. You seem salty. I once, in university, my roommate moved in. And he wasn't in his room.

And we were still pretty newly living together. And I noticed he had this thing that looked like a lighter i was going through his stuff uh no i was looking at his tori yamos cds and his uh annie defranco cds uh this is a guy yeah like tell us more about your lesbian roommate and uh i found this thing that was looked a lighter, and I sprayed it off. It was pepper spray. I sprayed myself in the face. No, I don't think I sprayed myself in the face,

but I sprayed the room, and I started coughing immediately, and I was like, oh, I've got to take a walk. See, that's okay. He goes back. All of his CDs are on the floor. He discharged his weapon. If only that happened more, though, because this is... So, you know, I was asking you guys earlier if you ever ate your lunches when you were in elementary school as boys.

Yeah. This was off-air? Yes. For the listener? For the listener. They're like, I don't remember this. They're like, ah, when did that happen? I must have missed it.

I'm going to go back and listen again. That's not canon. But that's... I'm not saying girls don't snoop in things, because we do. I must have missed it. That's not canon. I'm not saying girls don't snoop in things, because we do. But these are all super dude kind of things. If only there were a little more. I ended up sending off the bear spray. I maybe shouldn't do that.

If people put more booby traps around their things. That's what we need. I'm just looking into the future of my sons. Yeah, don't let your son grow up to be a whole bear spray. He would totally be the guy playing with the bear spray. You know my son.

You make sure that somebody in the group, the most responsible, the most unliked kid in the group has the pepper spray. That's who gets to keep the pepper spray. The most unliked by in the group has the pepper spray. That's who gets to keep the pepper spray. And yeah, no. The most unliked by everyone or just by you? Yeah, just by society. Like somebody who's all by the book, all numbers, all just real rigid.

Why are they liked? I'm by the book. I'm very liked. Why are you by the book? Well, what isn't by the book about me? Your renegade attitude? That's true. Devil may care.

Whimsical approach to life. Rebellious cool clothes. My goat beard. Oh, wait. We're talking about you. I don't know. Dave, what's going on with you, man? Okay.

A couple of things. We haven't recorded, well, we recorded an episode last week that is our bonus episode for donors in the upcoming Max Fun Drive. I'm putting in a sweet promo here. Nice. The next week's episode and the following week's episode will be part of this year's Max Fun Drive. That's when we gather support.

We ask our listeners to donate to the show and to the Maximum Fun Network. And one of the donor gifts this year is an episode we recorded last weekend with Alicia Tobin. Yes. Wherein we played a round of Trivial Pursuit. No spoilers of who won. But it's riveting. No, it's a ton of fun. I think where my money's going.

And who cares who won? You're not listening to fun. You're listening because you're going to hear Alicia freak out at things. Wait, is that what she does? Is that her thing? Wait, what? But she does? Is that her thing? Sounds like her. Wait, what? No.

Well, but since we last recorded an actual episode of this show, a couple of things have been happening that have resulted in me waking up at four in the morning. Okay. Raccoons. Weak bladder. The first is the hockey match that Canada won in the Olympics. Oh, yes. Canada was in the gold medal game

of hockey in Russia at, the game started at four in the morning, and I woke up at 3.45, brewed myself a big cup of coffee, and sat down in front of the TV and it was the greatest.

It sounds like you had a real romance. Yeah, we won. I watched the whole thing. It was just the coziest. Like the world was quiet. Yeah. And the game was over at 7. There was no raccoons outside fighting.

The game was over at 7 in the morning. And then I was like oh I should take a nap later I've taken maybe 10 naps in my life I'm not good at it And every time I take a nap I wake up and My life has changed

I'm like a completely different person I have a beard, oh no It's a new day It's a short day and it's a bad day. Right. There's a lot of napping happening that day. Yeah. All those early risers.

Oh, I just need to get back into the nap and redo things. I could just re-nap. What a good name for a show, re-nap. Yeah, sure. It's about a guy who naps through time. You don't see any of the things he's doing you just you see the nap it's uh cheap to make though yeah yeah yeah it's one of canada's most popular shows yeah it's sponsored by sleep country canada nap quest and uh yeah so that day uh and i took it snowed that day and i took the dog out, and he loves snow, and he ran around in the snow.

And by 10 in the morning, I was like, this is the best day ever. Oh, no, someone I know is going to die. Oh, yeah. Yeah, see? You were like, oh, because it's too good. Yeah. No one did, though. Why don't you wake up at 4 in the morning every Saturday? Or Sunday, or whatever day this was.

Why don't you treat yourself once a week to a magical day? I wake up at like 6.30 on Saturday. You do? Well, I don't want to ruin my sleep patterns. Because then I won't be able to fall asleep on Sunday night. You want to destroy those sleep patterns. I do. Even the days when I have to get up, it's dumb.

I get my son to school, and then I go back to bed. I love it. when I have to get up, it's dumb. I get my son to school and then I go back to bed. I love that. And I have a little nap and then I get up and start my day. Yeah, your spirit animal is the cat. It's true. It's true. I resent every hour I'm awake. I love, yeah, I'm in love with napping.

I wish I could. Yeah. I wish you could too. But it's a skill though because you can't. I used to be like, I'm going to take apping. I wish I could. Yeah. I wish you could, too. But it's a skill, though, because you can't. I used to be like, I'm going to take a nap and then wake up eight hours later, and that's not a nap. Oh, you're right. That's just sleep.

I can only nap. I can only fall asleep if I'm completely exhausted. Like, I can't just, oh, I can't decide to fall asleep at four in the afternoon for an hour. Even let's talk about nap. Oh, it's like one side of me, I was starting to get real cozy in this chair. But you have to have the things that like trigger your brain that it's time for sleeping.

Okay. So, um, like I, I need to, you know, have a, uh,

I need to put on Jimmy Fallon. Yeah. You gotta have Jimmy Fallon. You gotta put on your nightcap. You have to, uh, blow out a candle. You have to, uh, Jimmycap. You have to blow out a candle. You have to...

Jimmy Fallon just makes me so mad. You have to bring the sheets right up the top. What are other sleep things? I think I've named them all. Oh, sleep on a pea. Warm milk. Put a pea somewhere. Hide a pea somewhere.

See if I can feel it. Dave would totally feel it. Yeah, I would. I'm real Princess Magugul Pukati. Does she have a name feel it. Yeah, I would. I'm real Princess Magoo-goo-cutty. Does she have a name in that? Yeah, Magoo-goo-cutty. So that was one of the things that resulted in me waking up at four in the morning.

The other thing was after like Grandpa, my dog, is about nine and a half years old. He'll be ten in May. What is that dog? Sixty? Seventy-ish. half years old. He'll be 10 in May. What is that dog? You're 60? 70-ish.

Yeah. All right. He's getting up there. But he, and he's been toilet trained. Toilet trained. He doesn't use the toilet. That's because he won. I'm impressed.

Oh, I was just picturing Grandpa sitting on a toilet. Oh, it would be so great reading a little doggy newspaper. Yeah. What a pooper scoop. Oh, fun. That's so great, reading a little doggy newspaper. What a pooper scoop. He's been house trained for most of his life. Not a perfect record. But like less than... Who here can claim it, right? A perfect record.

Come on. Less than one mistake a year, I would say. And he recently just started peeing in the house. Yeah. And we don't know why. We took him to the vet. He's fine. Except his attitude.

Your vet's like, he's got a bit more of an attitude. Yeah, he's got a real peeing in the house attitude. Peeing on the rug attitude. And so it was happening every few days. And then we realized that it was only happened we like because we would we would discover it at different times of the day and we realized it was happening overnight and we just weren't seeing it yeah and uh he used to wake me up in the middle of the night to let him out and he hasn't done that for like a year and so we uh we just started locking him in

the bedroom with us now. And so he can't get out to go pee somewhere else. So he has to wake me up. So I've been waking up at four in the morning a lot lately. And I don't usually dream. Yeah, that's right. Dave has a robot-like brain that just shuts on. No, he just doesn't remember your dreams.

I just don't remember them. Yeah, no, I know that um but i uh um i've i've been having i've been remembering my dreams from the part like after i go back to bed at four in the morning that they say if you have like shorter yeah shorter sleep and the dreams have been so boring like you know when you're like oh the craziest thing happened to my dream and you tell it to people and they're like oh that was kind of boring like yeah these are boring as i'm dreaming i'm like oh god what is going on like i wake up bored you're just like peeling a sticker off of a product that you bought. Here are some of the things I've been dreaming about.

The importance of keeping a receipt. What does that mean? It means it's tax time. Oh, it absolutely does. I don't do my own taxes. No, but you still got a hand in the receipts to somebody. That's true. Yeah. But that, I don't know i don't

think that was on my mind it was more like your subconscious mind the other but the receipt doesn't mean it's a receipt right doesn't when it's subconscious it's like something means something else like it's symbolic yeah my soul it's my soul yeah hold on to your soul you're giving the camel too much credit over here. Another dream, like, I woke up and I was like, did I just dream about movie continuity errors? And then the other one I had was, like, I had a dream about Scarlett Johansson, but not a sexy dream. It was a dream about... You were telling her about the importance of receipts? But not a sexy dream.

It was a dream about... You were telling her about the importance of receipts? It was a dream about getting an email from her, where she had to explain, like, Hi Dave, I'm Scarlett Johansson. I'm a famous movie actress. And it was all sort of about how famous people don't need to introduce themselves that much in a dream or in an email, in a dream mail. So here's a question, because there's a school of thought on dreams that you've created a persona in your dream world that is consistent from dream to dream. Okay. That there's like, yeah, you've created this super nerdy

dream guy. He's just like, receipts. Just remember, Dave, to keep your receipts. Email etiquette. You know, people fly in their dreams. I know! People have sex with Scarlett

Johansson in their dreams. They don't just sort of second guess her email. I would love that if in your dream you're sorting through receipts and then you look out the window and there's all these people flying. Having sex while flying. Scarlett Johansson's like,

hey Dave! Maybe next time. Email bro. Are you familiar with the concept of lucid dreaming? So you're like sort of half awake, half asleep? Well, you can, you can. You can control it. Yeah, you have free will and sort of, you're the protagonist. Sure.

Things don't really happen to you. Maybe the protagonist things happen to him. I'm not that familiar with my literary criticism um but uh movie continuity watch out but i i didn't i've never had that but i've always had the ability to just like bail on a dream just be like oh this is this is unpleasant i'm waking up wait and you're stuck with the receipt dream i like it what am i gonna wake up between four and 6 in the morning? I got to get those Z's. Yeah.

It's the beauty sleep time. I only bail if it's, like, distressing me. Okay. Like, I won't bail if it's just boring, I guess. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I mean, yeah, what are you going to bail to? You're probably just going to bail into another more, maybe a more boring dream.

The importance of, you know know organizing your junk drawer yeah oh we do need new silverware oh that's that's true well i'm gonna shop around let's i you know what i if if we buy them here and we get a points card it's actually cheaper than If we buy them here and we get a points card, it's actually cheaper than if we buy them here. Then you wake up. I don't have a points card. I look over. And Scarlett Johansson's like,

what's the matter? I just had the most harrowing dream. Oh, let me soothe you. Et cetera. Your dreams are never that exciting. Do you talk in your sleep? Yeah, but Abby sleeps so deeply that she doesn't get woke.

She's told me a few times on nights when she couldn't sleep that I've said things, but she is a log. That's why the dog... You? That's why I'm the only one that wakes up when the dog wakes up. Oh, because she's'd be sleeping in a the ocean of pee yeah yeah i don't

talk in my sleep but my wife does uh and is it nonsense uh is it the greatest yes no it's the greatest it's absolutely the greatest i feel like i might have talked about this on the show before but uh nobody will remember. You're wrong about that. People will absolutely remember. Well, then they will write it and say, that was so great to hear it again. So one time she was saying, everybody's laughing at them. Everybody's laughing at them.

And I was like, yeah. Because I get all excited. I'm like, oh, here we go. So then I try to engage her in conversation. I'm like, everybody's laughing at them and i was like yeah because i get all excited because i'm like oh here we go right so then i try to engage her in conversation i'm like everybody's laughing at who and uh she said the nondescript chubby people i'm like wait what are the nondescript chubby people doing just for the show wait what there's a show with non you know no I don't know what are you and so apparently

in her dream we were lining up for the show and then people were laughing at the nondescript chubby people chubby chorus line

and I said I said what's the show what's the show and she said the eating show so yeah there was the eating show with the non-descript chubby people uh she also one time um she was she was scrapping with somebody in her sleep she was like how dare you oh wow super like no oh wait she said what did you say to me

she said and i was like oh here we go my hands and i'm like i said what what who said who said what what what did they say and she said she said i'm not even butch i was like honey you're butch like what's uh and uh i said what did you say to her? She said, I told her if she wants to play with... She's saying this all in her sleep? In her sleep. In her sleep. Sorry, I'm trying to talk loud. She said, I told her if she wants to play with the big boys, she better be ready to ride.

Wow. I know. That's all in her sleep. But she has no memory, right? So then in the morning, I'm like, do you remember talking to me in your sleep? And she's like, what now? And I'm like, you were having a butch off. It was amazing.

You ready to run? Oh, wow. Abby and I were watching TV the other day, and they had an ad for Keeping Up with the Kardashians. And we just had little clips of voiceover or dialogue from the show. It was for the whole season of the show. And one of them was,

I think it was Kim, maybe Khloe, saying, we are a ride or die family. And I was like, what do you ride? Yeah, am I in a ride or die family? How would I know? Well, you're not? Yeah, am I in a ride or die family? How would I know? Well, you're not dead. You must be in a ride family.

Good for you. Donkey riding. Yeah. Now, Graham. Yes. What's going on with you this week? Riding, die. Oh, my God.

We haven't even got there yet? Wow. Here we are. I told you guys we got to pick up the page. Oh, yeah. You got a cat in the cage. Despite all your rage. Yeah!

I, this week, I met past guests and favorite guests. Charlie Demers. Most favorite guest? He's definitely one of them. He's up there. Yeah. Guys, I'm right here. I don't like to play faves.

I met his baby girl. Joji. Joji. And that was great. It's great to meet the baby. I don't ever want to hold anybody's baby, ever, because terrifying scariness. Yeah. They have little baby axes they could chop you.

Well, that's exactly it. I watch a lot of baby murder movies. Where the baby's the killer. Just don't be in a tent when she's around. No, but see, the babies, they kill in the city. That's what makes them so notorious. Like baby pig in the city. That'll do, Dave.

That'll do. You have nieces. Yeah. You have nieces and nephews. I have nephews also. I have no nephews. Oh, no, I do have one nephew now. You both have had a holding baby experience, say, in the last five years?

Yeah. Not a lot. It's mostly like, oh, Dave's guard is down. Let's throw a baby out. How about you? A holding baby experience? I try to avoid it, but people want you to hold try to avoid it but people want you to hold their babies why do people want you to hold their babies because they think you want to because most

normal people like to hold babies but i'm wondering now we've got three out of three people that are all like hey uh it's because we're truth tellers oh is that it because i'm scared i'm scared i'm gonna damage the That's what it is. They're pretty resilient. No, they're not. Their heads don't even stay up by themselves. But someone's watching you. No one's letting their guard down. But that's even more terrifying.

You're not running around with it. You're just sitting there. What are you doing? I was juggling swords. I'm a jugglesman. It's like giving a kid who's drinking. Is that a good enough reason not to hand me baby? I didn't touch the baby.

I did not hold the baby. It's good for them to be exposed to things like that. Later in life. That is true. Uh, but it's, I think it's a good way to, you know how like you have like a talking stick,

like most podcasts have a talking stick. You can only talk when you're holding the stick. Dave and I broke ours. Yeah. You should give someone your baby if they need to have a timeout. You're like, hey, old Graham's getting out of control. Give him a baby. He'll slow right down.

Yeah, I guess you have to, right? So anyway, so yeah, I met a baby. And I don't know what you do. You hold their hand. Hey, squeeze this. Or don't. And I don't know what you do. You hold their hand.

Hey, squeeze this. Yeah. Or don't. Yeah. And the baby does make a face that looks exactly like Charlie, which was hilarious. So it's already making a face. That's a thing. It's like an evolutionary thing. Where they make a face so the dad.

They resemble the dad. So the dad doesn't want to kill them. It's happening. Because it did. It definitely made a face that was very Charlie it's like 97 effective yeah yeah um so i did that uh but like i said i just wanted to take yeah kind of like a survey of the see if i'm weird in that i don't want to no that's why we adopted older children. I have no interest whatsoever in babies.

With all due respect to Joji, who I would hold. Oh, Joji's a good one. She's great, of course. She's amazing. I have interest in babies. They all look like Winston Churchill. No, not... No inappropriate interest in babies you have. No, I don't...

I assume I'll get my fill of holding a baby. Yeah but yeah you don't want to rush into that but that's what it's the you know i don't know anyways and then like i feel like as soon as if you hold a baby and it starts crying that that's the baby is recognizing your inner evil like it knows you know like how a dog of a dog snarls at you it It's like they sense that you're bad. You're truly a bad person. This is about you. This isn't about the baby. This is your own insecurities.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dave's right. Dave's back. There's science. Dave has similar insecurities and therefore he's backing you up but that doesn't make it right. Baby's no evil

and Graham got it. Graham, how much evil you got? A lot, but it's deep and I feel like But babies can see it. Yeah, babies can see it. The younger you are the more powerful your evil vision. Yeah, see that's Evil vision. you got a lot but it's deep and i feel like but babies can see it yeah babies can see the younger you are the more powerful your your evil vision yeah see that's evil vision

um so i did that i met a baby and i accidentally uh saw the the best foreign film that won the oscar i watched a i watched a movie at random in the theater. Because you were holding a baby and you couldn't move? And I just didn't know what to do. Please hold my baby and watch this Italian movie.

Yeah, so I watched an Italian movie. It was Italian? Yeah. Turned out to be the best movie of the year according to the Oscars. And I don't know, man.

If that's the best that the world has to put out, then I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Yeah. But I basically want to live the life of the guy in the Italian movie. What is the movie?

It's called The Big Beauty, I think is the translation. Vita Bella. Yeah. And he sleeps in a hammock most of the day, goes out at night drinking, smokes cigarettes, looks pretty good, wears really nice suits. You know. Except he has those little diamonds all over his body all the time from sleeping in a hammock. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. That's implied. Yeah. Does he wear this? He sat in a fex for a long time getting those painted on. Does he wear the suits in the hammock? Yep. Yeah.

Yeah. Maybe this was the best movie. Yeah. Because he does. He lies around in a hammock during the day, and then he goes and he drinks nice wine, eats pasta, and then goes to parties. And he smokes, but he doesn't look like a guy who smokes. You know what I mean?

It's all pretty good. But I was like, this is a movie? There's no plot in it. That was the whole movie. I feel like if I had a hammock in the morning, I would be better at napping. My only hammock... It's not comfortable.

The knots poke into you and you're outside. Well, unless you hang your hammock inside, which doesn't seem... Wait a minute. My only hammock experience was indoors. Yeah. These people had a cool loft.

And I was wearing cargo shorts. And so I got in the hammock and I immediately could not get my balance. And I tried, like I got in... Did you swing right out of it? And my cargo shorts, the button from it just went flying off because it got stuck. And then, I think, I don't know why there were so many buttons. Oh, your big league chew fell out of your cargo pants.

But I think I lost two or three buttons from different hammock mishaps that day. A lot of people underestimate the danger of hammocks. Because your fabric gets caught in the hammock mishaps that day. A lot of people underestimate the danger of hammocks. Because your fabric gets caught in the hammock hole. Yeah, but a hammock isn't a nude thing. People don't lie on a hammock nude. Like, what do you wear? If you can't wear things with buttons and you can't be nude, what is it? I guess scrubs.

Wait, why can't you be nude? Because of the diamond thing that you were talking about. Yeah, but then you would put your clothes on and nobody would see. No, but you would feel. You'd be up against those ropes. Yeah. Be up against the ropes. Classic bad thing.

Yeah, that is true. But then you're a hammock. Like, in a hammock, that's all you're doing. You're volunteering to be up against the ropes. Oh, yeah, so if somebody says you're up against the ropes, you're like, hammock style or boxing style? Yeah. I don't understand the appeal of the hammock. I don't find it relaxing. Okay, well, you need to take a bit of hammock style or boxing style? Yeah. I don't understand the appeal of the hammock. I don't find it relaxing.

Okay, well, you need to take a bit of hammock theory. I feel like it's a cocoon of relaxation. It could be. I always thought, like, watching Gilgan's Island, that it was kind of cool. Oh, it always ends in you. Whoops. It always ends in you. Exactly, what happened?

Yep. It always ends in you whoops exactly what happened yep it always ends in you spilling a drink but it always ends like on gilligan's island it would always end with someone falling out of yeah and uh but i don't know i i toyed with the idea at one point of uh buying a hammock and like sleeping in a hammock yeah Indoors. Indoors. Somebody right away was like, you'll be single forever if you have a hammock. Plus, you go to roll over and then you totally get out of it. You would just fall on the floor.

No, that's the thing. You're in it. It's like a burrito. You turn around in it. That's not appealing. How about a pita? about like a pita? Oh yeah, what about a pita? No, no, no. What about a taco?

Flat. Flat. What if you had a bed that was like a chalupa? Yes, yes. No. Drop the chalupa. No, I don't see, I don't even, like when I go to a hotel, like when I was on tour, first thing I do when I walk into a room, pull the sheets out of the bed.

I don't like, I feel trapped. I don't like that at all. I need to roll around. What's the hotel chain with the hammocks? Oh, Gilligans. The Gilligans. I don't like to be ensconced. No, yeah.

What is the first thing I do when i go into a hotel room i close the door close the door behind me and i start fucking it up yeah the first thing i do is um uh say i don't have any cash to tip you sorry yeah uh yeah me no speaky uh You're in America, sir. Then the next thing I do, check the channels they have. Then don't ever leave. Yeah. And then check out a minute before checkout time. Yeah. Call down for...

Oh, yeah. Maybe that would be the first thing. Call down for a late checkout as soon as I walk in. Hey, how about a late checkout? Sometimes what I like to do is turn on the TV and see how long I can tolerate just the channel one on the hotel channel. Welcome. Welcome. Yeah.

We've got many features. Some adult features. Oh. Tell me. Yeah. Have I ever ordered an adult movie in a hotel room? Not on purpose. Anyway.

No, yeah. Because of the... Because of the internet, yeah, because of the, um... Because of the internet? Well, because, yeah, well, because of the internet and because of the, uh... Uh, well, like, at the end of your hotel stay, do they say, oh, and you watched, uh, you know, uh... Thanks, yeah, yeah, yeah. Bouncing Boobies.

Bottom Dwellers 5, yeah. Bouncing Boobies 400. Yeah, it was, uh, it's a very popular series of movies. Bouncing Boobies 400. No, it's the original. It's about a boob race. It's the Bouncing Boobie 400.

Yeah. Breaking away. Oh, wow. Yeah, so that's what I did. I watched an Italian movie, thought about hammocks and uh avoided holding a baby my baby holding uh or no holding streak still complete no holds barred yes yeah except the baby holds yeah which is currently barred um do you guys want to move on to overhears love to i'm cameron esposito and each week i'm joined by my fellow podcasters, Ria Butcher.

That's me. And Ricky Carmona. I am Ricky Carmona. We talk about action and sci-fi movies on a little show called Wham Bam Pow. You can find it on MaximumFun.org. It's amazing. Super fun. True that.

Reviews, news, and stuff you can use. I'm Carrie Poppy. I'm Keri Poppy. I'm Ross Blotcher. And we make a show. Oh no, Ross and Keri. Oh no! We investigate fringe science. Spirituality.

Religious groups. Alternative therapies. We put ourselves through a lot of uncomfortable situations. So that you don't have to. Because, really, why would you? For example, I watched a tube be inserted into Ross' anus. That's true, but it sounds terrible out of context.

We've tried penis and breast enlargement pills. We spent six months undercover becoming Mormons. We hung out with the 9-11 truthers. The UFO cult, the Raelians. And we're gonna do more. It's one of the newest shows on MaximumFun.org. Overheard. Overheard.

Things when you're out in the world, you have your ears, what did you say, your ears pricked? Is that a... Yeah, prick up your ears, they say. Prick up your ears. But it doesn't... It sounds weird. It doesn't involve pricks. But it doesn't involve, like... Being a dick. Yeah, being pricked with a needle, either. No. No. It doesn't involve pricks. But it doesn't involve, like... Being a dick.

Yeah, being pricked with a needle, either. No. No. It doesn't involve... Oh, there's so many meanings for that word. Prickly, prickly pears. Yeah. Prickly peat.

It's pricks, pricks, pricks, and pricks. Although, putting a needle in your ear would get one's attention. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Putting a dick in your ear. Pay attention. If you put a needle in your ear, you'd get your mom's attention because she said, no piercing your ears until you finish beauty school or whatever it was,

whatever the prerequisite you agreed on. I pierced my own ears in high school. Yeah, you did. You rebel. That's what you do. What did you put, ice? It was because I saw the movie Some Kind of Wonderful. She had a lot of earrings in one ear.

Mary Stewart Masterson? Yeah. And I said, I can do that. kind of wonderful and she had a lot of earrings in one ear mary stewart masters yeah and i said i can do that i can't play drums but i can uh i did play the snare drum okay so i was well on my way you are a modern lover but what band just has a snare drum well none yet so yeah military bands sometimes they just have just the snare. Oh, right. Now... Let's talk more about Some Kind of Wonderful. Who's in it? It's Mary Stewart Madison. She's the tomboy.

Yeah. Plays drums. Tons of earrings. Christian Slater? No. Eric Stoltz. Red leather gloves with the kind of fringy leather business hanging down. Whoa.

Doing that and the many piercings in the one ear. Eric Stoltz. He's an art kid. Okay. Like classic high school art kid? He's like real deep and moody. Smokes cigarettes. Except that he's really into Leah Thompson.

Who would be at the time. Fair enough, fair enough. Who plays Amanda Jones. I didn't know that you knew this movie. No, I remember the pierced ears and the gloves and then he buys her earrings with his college savings

he buys her these diamond earrings and his dad is like oh he wanted you to be the first one in our family to to buy a girl a necklace not earrings to go to school to not have to wash his hands after a hard day's work and he's like I'm an artist I would have paint on them anyway right his dad just hates washing his hands after a hard day's work. And he's like, I'm an artist. I would have paint on them anyway. Right.

His dad just hates washing his hands. Yeah, he's like, new rule. No more hand washing. Some kind of wonderful. Just walk in the house, everything's got handprints on it everywhere. I'm living like the richest man in the world,

not washing my hands at all. And then Elias Koteas, is that how you pronounce that guy's name? Sure. He's great. He's Canadian. He's in there. He's a tough guy. So you've seen this movie many times.

I guess I still have it on VHS. It's a John Hughes written one, not directed. Oh, okay. All right. It's in that album. What did you pierce after seeing it? Oh, my, well, it's called a Prince Albert. I was afraid that was where that was going.

Yeah. What I like to do is make the bathroom messy. And then, like the character in that movie, you don't like to wash your hands. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. in that movie you don't like to wash your hands yeah yeah so we've we've been trying to uh our kids are adopted and missed some stuff including like watching all the important movies because we were driving one day and uh there was this really cool car and i was like oh my daughter said look at that car and i said oh it's like the delorean from back to the future and she said what and you

were like that's pretty much what happened, right? I was like, from Back to the Future. Was it a DeLorean? There aren't very many cars like it. I said it looks like, right? And so I was like, you know, like Back to the Future. And she was like, what? And I said, Back to the Future with Michael J. Fox.

And she said, who the hell is Michael J. Fox? And I was like, we're watching Doc Hollywood tonight. High school USA stat. So we've been kind of trying to like, you know, catch up on the classics. What did they think of Back to the Future? They loved Back to the Future. And then we got my son,

the Lego DeLorean that you can make. It has three different iterations that you can make three different deloreans from each of the movies very cool great i can make a dumb train one but we've been you know making the list of uh remaining films and there's a bunch of john hughes for my daughter who's 15 and i'm totally taking some kind of wonderful off the list now in case uh this whole prince albert thing has made it. no, no.

No, Dave got his Prince Albert way before. I was inspired by Prince Albert. You know, he's in a can. Um, you gotta let him out. Uh,

but I don't think that's necessarily an adoption thing. I think it's the fact that, uh, they were from that generation. Yeah. Why, why would, you know, did you, had you seen movies from 20 years before you were born yeah which west side story like a

few times a year with my mom yeah yeah that's i think there's certain films that america i think there's there's certain films that everybody should see wizard Wizard of Oz seems like one. Goonies. Goonies was totally. No, I've never seen Goonies. He has never seen Goonies. That's not true. It's true. And I feel like it would be really bad if I saw it.

No, no, no. It wouldn't be. And you could watch it with my son because we tried to watch it, but he was too scared. This seems like two things I don't want to do. Yeah, you're not up still yet. Fair enough. Ghostbusters. Oh silly fair enough Ghostbusters oh yeah Zoolander

yeah Bill and Ted there were actually oh Bill and Ted last year or the year before there were a bunch of the outdoor

in Stanley Park the outdoors oh yeah those outdoor movies so yeah we went to see a bunch of stuff Wayne's World like Wayne and Garth

are kind of like Bill and Ted aren't they yeah they both say excellent yeah they were both dudes like party dudes a bunch of stuff then like wayne's world like wayne and garth are kind of like bill and ted aren't they yeah they both say excellent yeah they were both dudes like party dudes yeah yeah that's weird that we like if that happened nowadays we people would call bullshit on that but one travel through time you have to consider there was one that had to travel through time one played in a band and the other one just played guitar. You're right, they're the same.

We watched Wayne's World recently with our son, and he was very confused why they kept saying schwing, so we explained it. I didn't get it. I got boners, and I didn't get that that was the sound effect. Oh, totally. Really?

You have to watch more movies that are out so we can explain things as we go along. Pause the video. So sometimes. Sometimes. I grew up in a time when a catchphrase was just for the sake of a catchphrase. Right. Yeah, that's right. What you talk about, Willis, he didn't care what you were actually talking about.

Urkel had like 15 and no one ever had any cheese. Yeah. And of course you did actually talking about. Urkel had like 15 and no one ever had any cheese. Yeah. And of course you did that. Yeah, Urkel. Now to the business at hand. The overheards. We always like to start with the guests. Sorry, I've distracted you.

Oh, okay. Yeah. So that's you. You're on. It's me. I have one. Go. Go for it.

I was walking in the West End and there were these two guys walking behind me who sort of went past me as this conversation happened. And one of them, they're having a disagreement. And one of them said, well, he's not going to bring like 20 people to your house on a Tuesday night. And the other one said, yeah. And you didn't think he was going to leave a broken umbrella at my house either. But he did. Nobody expects that. You can't invite that guy over again. leave a broken umbrella at my house, either. But he did. Yeah. Nobody expects that.

You can't invite that guy over again. The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. It's only getting worse from here. How dare you leave a broken umbrella at my house. Then I have to throw it away. The leap from broken umbrella to inviting people to, 20 people to your house on a Tuesday night is not that big of a leap, I guess.

No. Well, both show an inability to keep an umbrella safe. Yeah. And both show just an irresponsibility. Yeah. Yeah. Just a general shitty attitude.

That never happened to me because I belong to this Tuesday night music club with my friend Cheryl Crow. Uh-huh. Go on. We've recorded an album. What does he want to do? What does he want to do? What does he want to do? Well, have fun, primarily.

What did you like to do with your bottles of bud? Was that you? Yeah, I had thick fingers. Oh, she also had a song. Anyway. Every day is a winding road. A line about a Tuesday night. Tuesday nights are big in music. A line about a Tuesday night.

Tuesday nights are big in music. Yeah, absolutely. Brian Wilson. Because it's taco night, taco Tuesday. And so a lot of musicians eat. Yeah, they eat a lot. You get cheap Kentucky Fried Chicken. Yeah.

It's too bad there's just not like a money that goes with Wednesday. Like there's no. There's not a money that goes with Wednesday. Like a wad of cash Wednesday. You know, like Toonie Tuesday. Very easy. $2 Tuesday. That's easy. That's why most people...

That is about it. Just money Monday. It's just all money. Wednesday is like the... $4 Friday. There you go. $6 Saturday. $7 Sunday. $7 is too much on a Sunday. $3 Friday. There you go. $6 Saturday. $7 Sunday. Stop it. $7 is too much on a Sunday.

$3 Thursday. Yeah, you're right. There is no money that goes with a Wednesday. Thank you. That's why Wednesday is like the worst day. Wing Wednesday has cornered the market. Ah, Wing Wednesday. You get all the cheap wings.

Okay. It's implied. I'm paying too much for wings. The money is implied. Yeah. Okay. It's implied. I'm paying too much for wings. The money is implied. Yeah. Okay. All right. A co-worker and I, we used to go to the local bars around downtown on Wednesdays and try to find, try to go for wing Wednesday.

None of them serve wings. We would go at lunch and none of them serve wings before like four. Sir, they're still in a gross bucket in the back. Oh none of them serve wings before like four sir they're still in a gross bucket yeah oh we'll serve them to you but they're not on special yet but if you're in the spirit of the the day yeah i thought it was a whole day thing but it's just like a half day like april fool's you want if you want to eat tiny meat off of a lettuce leaf we can do that for you well it's not like wing wednesday evening it should be all day. Yeah, it's wing Wednesday day. Yeah.

Not wing Wednesday night. Wing Wednesday morning. You've been misled. Okay, all right. We're going to have a wing all night. Got to break some eggs. Dave, you got an overheard? Here we go.

Not really. Mine is an overseen. I thought it was just the dumbest thing I thought I had ever seen. There's a great on 26th and Main here in Vancouver, right next to the butcher shop where you do your monthly Ring-a-Ding-Dong Dandy show. Yeah. There is a great corner store that has, they just have candy from America and tons of pop from America that you can't get at any other store here. And they don't advertise

it that way. It just exists. And one of the weird pieces of candy they had was these licorice, a pack of licorice, but the licorice was all made out of it was like grape crush licorice but the licorice was all made out of um it was like uh uh grape crush licorice and

looks really gross yeah and then the selling point was made with real grape crush oh yeah absolutely if your doctor said to get more in your diet this is a good source of a good source of grape crush i mean it's not the best. You're going to want to go grape crush for that. Yeah, absolutely. Oh, wow. I like when a fruit juice thing says, you know, fruit juice. Yeah. Real fruit.

I don't care. Usually they just say made with real juice, and then you're like, you just use filler? Yep. Yeah, we did. Can't you just juice anything, technically? Yeah, sure. Just all orange peels. We juiced a bolt. Yep. Yeah, we did. Can't you just juice anything, technically? Yeah, sure. Well, yeah. Just all orange peels.

We juiced a bolt. Yeah. So that's where you get your iron content. We juiced some bolts. I just borrowed a juicer from my friend because I have big plans to do, like, a juice cleanse in a few days. But then I had a job interview today so I didn't start today because I was like,

I might be all crazy. I better eat some pizza, leftover pizza for breakfast instead. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I'm well on my way to health. I did the local juice cleanse.

You could blend a pizza. Yeah, that is true. Delicious, delicious juice pizza. You get the essential oils. That's really disgusting. I did a juice cleanse.

Did you? It lasted most of the day really and it was not a nightmare it was like because you were just so hungry and yeah and because it was hard to drink the juices because they were gross yeah so the gross juices plus no food plus just being on a cleanse. Plus the scrutiny of everyone being like, Dave's on a juice cleanse. Right. Shame, shame, shame. That's the benefit of me never leaving my house is that I have no one to shame me but my cats who have their own problems, quite frankly. Oh, really?

Yeah. They're not going on a cleanse. No. They don't know how to cleanse cats. They eat weird raw food as it is. They can't judge me. That's right. Look at us. Three people in swivel chairs. Yeah, just

swiveling. Swiveling in the wind. Graham, do you have an overheard? I do. And this you know when it's gonna sound like the overheard's gross, but it's not. Because it took place in a bathroom. It's not? It's not gross.

I got it, Dave. I got it's not i got it yeah um but you know when if you're you're you think you have the bathroom to yourself and then somebody else comes in and you've got to hear their whole routine oh the public bathroom okay sorry for a second i was like you need a lock on your oh no no you think like you know you think okay i'm by myself and then somebody else comes in and you've got to, like, listen to their entire whatever they're doing. And so this guy, he did his thing. He was washing his hands. And then he was whistling.

And then he was humming. And he was doing all these things. Because I think he knew I was in there, too. And then there was silence. And I was like, oh, did he leave? And then I heard him sigh. And I was like, Oh no,

he's maybe staring into the mirror. And all I heard was very under his breath. He said, that's chips. So I don't know. He was looking at his self and he was saying, or looking at his face and saying, that's what happens when you need too many chips.

Like that's chips. Or maybe he meant like chips is like chips are good right so maybe it was like that's the top maybe you don't know slang yeah yeah but all yeah all i heard i don't know who the guy was i didn't get to see if he was chips or if he was chips oh man did you hear the new lady gaga song yeah it's pringles yeah that's chips man oh yeah it's tostitos. I'm still going to use that now. Yeah, so... You are not chips, young man. But my tendency was towards that it was a bad thing, but I like that you guys both picked up that it's a positive.

I can put a positive spin on anything. Yeah. Yeah. Chips. That's chips. Oh, man, that's chips. There's nothing better than chips, let's face it. So I think that's the highest compliments.

Oh, that's. That's crisp. That's crisp. Depending on which continent you are on, you need to use the right term. In France, they're like, oh, that's crusty. The crusty. Only in bathrooms, though. Yeah. Oh, they don't use the bathroom.

Now, we also have overheards that people have sent in via emails. If you want to do the same, you can send them in to Maximum Fun or sbyatmaximumfun.org. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. And also send in if you had heard that story from Morgan earlier. Yeah. Write an angry, angry letter in.

Yeah. Definitely write a letter. It doesn't necessarily make you angry, but you're right. I'll forward it to Scarlett Johansson. Did she say that that's okay to forward angry emails? You know what? I don't remember a lot of my dreams.

Not even these four in the morning? I don't remember that part. If you sleep in the exact same position, you can get back to that dream. I feel that part and if you sleep in the exact same position you can get back to that dream i feel that way but i don't it's my theory but you're wrong well it doesn't work for me because i've had have you tried i've had dreams where i like oh this is fun and then i wake up and i'm like oh god i'm awake uh come on come on dream you bitch Bitch. Doesn't work. It's not meant to be.

Now, this first one comes from Catherine A. In Halifax, Nova Scotia. This overheard was experienced as my boyfriend and I went to our first wrestling event. And every couple has to at some point. Oh, I remember when Abby and I went to our first. Tell us about it. i think you were there oh yeah it was at the polish community center that's right i think we've only been to the one you only need to go to one because you you just you have it's like getting married or yeah you

know uh it's a rite of passage yeah i kind of don't know what else couples do as writers of passages you get christened yeah somebody hits a bottle on you and you go out to sea. Yeah. So this is at their first wrestling event. A little girl, one row ahead of us, was upset that the guy she was rooting for was down. Her way to encourage him to keep fighting was to shout the following, You've seen harder days. Oh, that's really lovely.

Yeah. That's very encouraging. This is a kid who read the bio of all the wrestlers. Oh, yeah. This guy's got a rough upbringing. This guy is a dog trainer. A trainer with a dog. It never occurred to me at my wrestling event that I went to, it never occurred to me to root for anyone. No, you know, like, it's all backstory in the wrestling thing.

So you have to know, otherwise you're just watching guys... That's how it feels. Yeah. You're just watching guys come out and wrestle. You're just watching guys grapple. Yeah, but like, it's... Get fake angry at each other. And then do some stuff that shouldn't hurt, but they seem to be in a lot of pain.

That's what MMA is, is it's just grappling. And I'm like, but do these guys hate each other? Did one of them try to get with the other guy's girlfriend? Like all that kind of stuff is what I'm interested in. That's yeah. You have a writer that's like, what's the backstory? But there's no there's just sometimes little outfits rolling around on each other yeah but even the outfits aren't as fun you know like in mma yeah they're not characters

they're just shorts yeah short shorts and uh i don't know it's not that it's not fun it's just not as fun as all i'm saying they could they they could wear better outfits they could have like sailor moon outfits or something like Oh, God, I wish they would. Like, something sassy. And then more people would pay attention if they had sexier outfits. You think? Sure. If there were men in Sailor Moon outfits wrestling each other.

I think it would... It would just set that whole homerun thing over the top. It's sexier if they keep more, like, a mystery. They're showing too much. They should keep their tops on. Yeah, or just, like, something a little... Like George Clooney suits. Something're showing too much. They should keep their tops on. Or just like something flirty. Okay. Yeah, like the Sailor Moon thing.

Like, you know, the hint of something naughty. But, you know, save it. Leave it to our imagination. Let us want to discover that. Leave us one more. Sure. Kimbo Slice.

Now, could you name another if you had to? I was impressed by that. George St. Pierre. There you go. Grapples Magoo. I thought those were Sailor Moon characters, but I just caught on that those were grappling guys. Yeah.

I am just logging back into my email somehow I logged out of it do you want to borrow mine? what is happening? I don't know what is going on I'm having nothing but trouble here Graham use mine yep

thank you I apologize to the listener this could not be happening at a worse time. They're not listening anymore. Before the MaxFunDrive. Oh, yeah. We need your donations to get Graham a new phone. This next one comes from, this is a graffiti, graffiti style overheard.

This is from Ryan L. And he's from Parts Unknown. Doesn't say where he's from. But this was taken probably in Kentucky. Ryan L. And he's from Parts Unknown. Doesn't say where he's from. But this was taken probably in Kentucky. Because, you'll see, it's a picture of graffiti on the ground. That somebody has done, like, a very nice stencil that says, We are all related.

And then somebody has spray painted on the bottom. In Kentucky! It maybe is in Kentucky or Kentucky adjacent. Yeah, when you said it was in Kentucky, I like, oh boy, it's going to be about Colonel Sanders Were you hoping? We didn't know where it was Yeah, I was like, is there going to be a julep involved?

Like a seersucker suit Yeah, bluegrass Yeah, but Kentucky's famous for other things That derby that they have every year That fun hat they wear, the derby And bluegrass, bluegrass. I said bluegrass. You already said bluegrass.

It's the bluegrass state. Did I say the derby? Sea biscuit. This next one, this last one comes from Rob B. Also from Parts Unknown. Rob Bass. I know that his area code is 516 because his phone number is in this email for some reason. I don't know.

Anyways. This took place in Brooklyn. He was on the subway in Brooklyn. Father talking to his son and daughter. To his 10-year-old son, he said, where'd you get the money for that? The son points to the daughter. She gave it to me. Father says to his 5-year-old daughter, if you give him money again, I will destroy you.

That sounds like a fun bit. It better be. Yeah. Yeah. But, I mean, you know, I mean, it's funny that, like, where did you get the money for that? A five-year-old. Yeah. Yeah.

Some kid gave it to me. That kid. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. But I like that. You gotta get intense with the threats because they don't listen. Yeah? What's the craziest you can think?

Have you said anything where you're like, oh, that's crazy that I said that? I would have my children taken away if I told you. Oh, right. Yes, of course. No, no, no, no. It's just, you know, you get... Would you say something like, I will destroy you? Seems like a logical thing to say.

I say things like, I hope you enjoyed your iPad because you're never seeing it again. And like totally crazy mom things like that. Whip it out the window. Yeah. You see, you're never seeing that one again. I'll get you a new one. Yeah. I feel very guilty.

Oh, boy. Going through iPads with these kids. What you need is to have something that looks enough like an iPad that you can chuck out the window. Right? Do the old switch. Right. Palm the iPad with your baseball glove that you're wearing on one hand.

First, you have to build up a year of wearing a baseball glove. So the kids aren't suspicious. My kids don't doubt when I say I'm going to do stuff, though, because I'm kind of crazy mom in the first place, right? And I'm kind of like I... When my daughter was in grade 7

and she was being rude in the morning, I walked her into class and in my loud theater voice apologized to the class for being like, I'm sorry that she's late, but she was being rude to her mother and had to have a timeout. And then I walked out. Oh,

so embarrassing. So now, but now I can just say, uh, if you think I won't. Now, you know, right.

And, and plus, you know, my kids think that I won't. And they say like, you, you wouldn't do that. That's too embarrassing. Like for you or whatever. And they say, like, you wouldn't do that. That's too embarrassing.

Like, for you or whatever. And I'm like, have you met me? Yeah, why would I be embarrassed? I'm a comedian. I'm not. Like, I'm complete. I have no shame whatsoever. Nothing I do.

Yeah. It could be. Like, you can't win that one with me. So. I like the, yeah, the notion that somehow you would be embarrassed in front of teenagers. Like, why would you care? They just started throwing iPads out to them. I feel like that's a threat I would do.

I would take a kid's phone and throw it in a sink full of water. I mean, that seems like something. That's a great way of grounding your kid. Because you're like, well, this will take four days in a bag of rice. So, like, you think it's an empty threat, but there it is. Try using it. Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

And if it works again, it works again. If you don't have an iPhone, I don't give a shit. Yeah. That's kind of my nose. Yeah. In addition to overhears that are written in, we also accept your phone calls, speaking of. If you want to call us, our phone number is 206-339-8328. Hey, Dave Graham and guest.

This is Greg from Omaha calling in an overheard. I was in a late night sort of pizza by the slice place. And this guy guy he ordered two slices and some tater tots and the total was like $8 and something and he said $8 what is this Canada

and the cashier responded what do you mean that it's expensive and he says well I mean something that's for sure i have so many questions uh i love that you could order pizza and tater tots you can get pierogies uh tater tots uh uh just like we just hold you down and force this court cardboard into your face yeah you're not getting enough starch. The logic of it, because they're not made the same way.

You don't put tater tots in a flat, wide oven. No, you'd have to have a deep fryer. Right? Fryter. Jesus. Germany. But you wouldn't, I guess if you could make, well, in Scotland, they have deep fried pizza. Well, they have a lot of things in Scotland. But that's what Oklahoma's not in Scotland, they have deep fried pizza. Wow. They have a lot of things in Scotland.

But Oklahoma's not in Scotland. No, you're right. But this guy had a lot going on. He says, what is this Canada? So good. What is this Canada? Or what is this Canada? Oh, that's a very popular show up here in Canada.

What is this Canada? It's a game show. Yeah, based Canada. Oh, yeah. What is this Canada? It's a game show. Yeah, based on an American show. Just what is this? It follows this guy who naps through time. That sounds a lot like re-nap. And, yeah, did you hear the end part where he was like, well, I mean something. I mean something.

That's not a thing. Come back. I couldn't get over the tater tots and pizza i know that i had a hard time moving on after i heard that too also when was the last time you had tater tots oh boy delicious tater tot casserole recently oh wow i wish that people could see that is totally on your faces see i never had tater tot casserole i never had tater tots yeah i mean either never met a cat or held a baby no but whatever i mean i've had them but i never had them growing up no i mean either tater tots were not part of my youth paradise

but you've never been to you uh no you've had tater tots. I've had them, but not growing up. I had them like... Only the adult version of tater tots. They have them at taco time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the only time I ever had them. And in Napoleon Dynamite. Right, right. Back to your cargo pants again.

At the Napoleon Dynamite restaurant. Pedro. My wife is American and has and I'm not saying that that's why because maybe people in Canada eat these kinds

of ridiculous foods as well but there's a lot of dishes that are comfort foodie to her that are foreign to me

like she makes this salad that's like a layered salad that's like iceberg lettuce, mayonnaise, like a layer of mayonnaise. You just lost the health. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, no, we're going to make up for it.

Layer of frozen peas. Okay. Okay. Layer of grated cheese. Oh, I've seen this in my nightmares. Layer of chopped green onions. If you're a meat eater, we're vegetarian, so we don't do the layer of bacon bits. Repeat.

Until death. Yeah. Which I was just like, what is this? Do you then dip a chip into it? No, then you... Just eat it? I guess, like, I don't know. You scoop it out?

Yeah. Under a paper plate, I'm guessing? Yes. Then you don't have to wash them. And tater tot casserole is another one. What else is in it? It's like mushroom soup mix. Oh, of course.

Tater tots. Cheese. I think that might be it. I think that might be the extent of the casserole. When I was first learning to cook. Yeah. Mushroom soup was the base of everything. When I was first living on my own, I was like,

okay, well I can make craft dinner. But then, mushroom soup, I was like, oh, you can make everything with this. Cream of. And I really felt like, oh, this is how people cook. Just mushroom soup and a chicken

breast. Yeah, exactly. And then I'd eat it for a while. Am I wrong in saying that bacon bits don't contain bacon? Well, original bacon bits do. But most bacon bits probably don't. You know, one would question what they do contain. Soys.

If one wanted to know. Yeah. Souls. Bits of souls. Not a whole soul. Pig contain. Dreams. If one wanted to know. Salt. Souls. Bits of souls. Not a whole soul. Pig souls. Yeah. But just bits of them. Like whenever a pig prays, the pig god catches those and sprinkles them down. Yeah.

You know, you gotta keep the pig Catholic church in business. Here's your next overhurt. That'll do, Dave. That'll do. Hi, Stop Podcasting Yourself. This is Megan from Baltimore. I have an overheard. I walked into an elevator, and there were two college kids, guys,

talking about getting their hair cut. And one guy says to the other um so the person i normally go to wasn't there so they sent me to this woman in the back and she was old i mean like 40 and i was like yeah i normally do a faux hawk and she was like what's that and i was like and also i had a dream uh about you guys last night it was a one of those really emotionally intense dreams where uh Dave and I had an affair he kissed me very nicely on the forehead and I felt a dream about you guys. Yeah, where was I?

Was I just hanging out in the lobby? You were composing an email to her. I feel like we got a call recently about something I dream about you. It might have been a drunk dial. Oh, yeah. It might have been a fever dream. Yeah, absolutely. I appear in a lot of fever dreams, nightmares,

and just ruminations about regrets. Toast. Your image is just on people's toast. Yep. I make at least one toast appearance a month. Sometimes I look like I'm Hello Kitty, but I'm not. It's all me, man. I want that Graham toaster.

Get that Lisa Loeb-sponsored Hello Kitty toaster. Lisa Loeb has something to do with it? Well, she just owns every Hello Kitty thing. She does? You don't know about Lisa Loeb? No, I don't know. She's the voice of Chili's, and she's got

every Hello Kitty thing. She's the one who says, come to Chili's? I think it's Chili's. She has a lot of eyeglasses. I wear them. Does she not? Yeah. That's all I know.

In the Chili's ads, I think she also says, you caught me because you want me, and one day you'll let me go. You try to give away or keep me because you know you're so scared to lose. Dave. Such a big Lisa Lowe fan. Oh, boy. Here's your final overheard of 2014. Hello, Dave Graham and adorable guests.

This is Travis in Connecticut. I was in a Target store the other day. I have an overheard for you. I was in one of the pharmacy aisles. There's an employee there with a cart of things, putting them on the shelf. I wasn't paying much attention to what they were doing and suddenly overheard them mumbling, Now, if I was an enema, where would I be? In somebody's butt.

Yeah. Yeah. Pretty much. That's where the number one thing is. Yeah. Yeah. Pretty much. That's where the number one. Number two. Yeah. But it's too obvious. That's why you think like an enema.

That's the first place I'd be. Yeah. There's only so many places. And so the list is pretty short. You can figure it out in a hurry. I feel like the only thing that I ever knew about enemas. Is that this town needs one? Yeah. Oh, no.

You know what? That probably came first. This town needs an enema. I didn't know what that meant. And then Janet Jackson, I remember, was on some talk show talking about how she loves coffee enemas. And I was like, time to look this up. Wow.

Yeah. And then my friends and I had an extended argument over whether it would be like hot coffee, like you brew coffee and then put it in your butt. I'm really hoping you were not on the side of hot coffee. No, but then my friend was like, do you put cream and sugar in it? Like, is it all just like a cup of coffee that you put in your butt? There was a, Kramer had one. A coffee enema?

No, just an enema. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So those were my two cultural enema touchstones. This town needs an enema and Kramer got an enema. But when did you realize what an enema was? This town needs an enema. You figured it out after? I said, hey, what's an enema?

And Jack Nicholson was like, where does he get all those wonderful toys? We do good track, Nicholson. Fly over the cuckoo's nest, white everybody. Jack Nicholson, y'all. Y'all. Y'all. Y'all. I guarantee satisfaction.

Wait, are you still doing Jack Nicholson? Yeah, I'm Jack Nicholson. I'm Jack Nicholson. Yes, Jack Nicholson is Chinatown. You can't hear the truth. Jack Nicholson says come down to Sleep Country Canada. We have a dream. Okay, so that brings us to the end of this year.

No, it does not. What? It does. Jack Nicholson. Jack Nicholson talk. okay so that brings us to the end of this year no it does not what it does um Morgan do you have anything Morgan do you have anything you would like to plug I have a new show a new one person show

called Fliberty Gibbet where can we see it well you can't right now. I gotta finish it. I did the half of it at the Vancouver Sketch Comedy Festival. And so

now I just need to finish the other half of it. The gibbet half. When is it premiering? Well, it isn't yet because I haven't written it. Because I've been busy. Let's say spring 2014. Oh, okay. All right.

All right. Look for you on the print circuit. Now I have a deadline. And so now I will do it. And where can people keep tabs on you? MorganBrayton.com. Okay. MorganBrayton on Twitter.

Yeah. That's my new Twitter handle. Yeah. Yeah. At yeah. Yeah. So that's, I's my new twitter handle heeaw heeaw at heeaw uh yeah so that's

I'm doing that uh that's you know that's my that's it that's really all I care about and

uh thanks for being our guest hey thanks for having me a pleasure buddy um now Dave any Jack Nicholson news

heeaw well next uh next week as the beginning of the max fun drive uh two episodes of our show um we're bringing out some big guns yeah machine guns yeah uh so we're gonna murder you oh sorry yeah we followed that logic um uh no yeah we're to have some great shows in the next couple weeks to encourage you to get on board the donation train. Yeah. I like this one. We're going to bring some good ones.

Well, I mean, we're also going to devote time. No, it's fine. I'm just saying. It's going to get even better. It can't get better than this. No. This is the cattiest, cat-centric, feline podcast. It has been the most feel-good feline podcast.

I'm whispering a lot. In between words. Cats like it when you whisper. Time to bail on this dream. Yeah. If you like this show, why don't you head over to iTunes and tell them so. You can write a review and say, hey, I really like that show. I really like that Jack Nicholson thing.

More of that. There's going to be a lot of emails and reviews about your Jack Nicholson. That's fine. It's good, in a good way. Yeah. And if you want to head over to MaximumFun.org, check out the blog recap that Dave does each and every week. Pictures and videos relating to the content of the episode.

Maybe a picture of somebody's great Jack Nicholson impression. But just a picture. Somebody slicking back their hair and wearing sunglasses. Yeah, sitting in the front row of a Lakers game. What did we talk about? Oh, probably a hammock. Oh, that movie.

Some Kind of Wonderful. Oh, sure. Yeah, that you guys just... I don't think that song was in it. Maybe. I don't remember. It must be, right? Dave must remember. I don't think it was.

What? There's got to be some kind of reference to it because that's the reference. That's the song. Let's all watch it right now. Yeah, let's all go watch it. While we're recording. I'll dig out my VCR. Oh, yeah. I'd like to... Were there previews? Like trailers? Yeah, let's all go watch it. While we're recording. I'll dig out my VCR. Oh yeah, I'd like to.

Were there previews? Like trailers? Yeah, yeah, yeah. There would have been a trailer for Cop and a Half. There would have been a trailer for Let's see. Police Academy 2. Yeah. Oh wow. What would have been around then? Short Circuit. Inner Space.

Oh man, so many previews. Come and get your actions. Classics. Yeah. So if you do like the podcast, if you've got to this point, you must love it. Tell your friends. And come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself. MaximumFun.org Comedy and culture. Artist owned.

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