Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 315 - Taz VanRassel

Episode Date: March 31, 2014

Taz VanRassel returns to talk high school auditoriums, the 1970s, and parachutes.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 315 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who, like I had last week, this mega cough, now also has a cough, Mr. Dave Shubka. Yeah, you still have it though. Yeah, we both have it. We're sharing it.

Do I sound sick? No, you sound great. I think I sound a little bit sick. Yeah, when you say it like that. I shouldn't come into work today. I don't know if I should be sound a little bit sick. Yeah, when you say it like that. I shouldn't come into woke today. I don't know if I should be on a podcast. I'm sick and sexy little boy. Yeah, you're a sexy little boy.

I forgot. That's what happens to you when you get sick. Yeah, I got pigtails. Gross. I'm wearing Mary Jane's. And also we should say, hey, thanks everybody who donated during Max Fun Drive over the last two weeks. Yeah, you won't hear about it for another 50 weeks. Yeah, congratulations. You made it. You made it through.

You're the best. And our guest today is a returning guest. He's one member of the Sunday service that performs every Sunday for the longest time at a place called the Cosmic Zoo, which then recently changed his name. But that doesn't matter, because you're moving. Originally, Hennessy. Hennessy, that's right. And what is it now?

Vine? Seven. Seven, yeah. With seven, then Romanural 11, so it looks like a really fancy 7-Eleven. Oh, cool. Beside the 7-Eleven. X-I?

Yeah, that's it. No, V-I. V-I is... It's six. Six. V-I-I. Seven. Yeah. No, V-I. V-I is... It's six. Six. V-I-I. Seven.

Yeah. But it has a seven in the background, then a V, and Roman numeral I-I. You think they're trying to get in on the 7-Eleven? I think it looks like 7-Eleven black. Oh. Like, fancy. Yeah. And it's right beside 7-Eleven, so it looks like a fancy dining lounge that they've created.

Like those black American Express cards. I was thinking Budweiser Black. I was thinking Dracar Noir. Ooh. What would be at a 7-Eleven Black? Like exclusive jerky? Ooh, and like fancy ice creams. Like only top shelf, you know, Magnums.

Sit-down pizza. Oh, yeah. Everything is only on the top shelf. Yeah. Vodka, martini, slurpees. Yeah, just diamonds on those rollers. Black wine bottles. Now, your show is moving to the Fox, starting

on April 6th. This is Vancouver's brand new cabaret? Yeah, show facility. I don't know if we said my name yet. Yeah, we haven't. I'm getting to that. His name is Mr. Taz Van Rassel. Usually we say my name first.

No, no, not this time. You didn't read my... We're doing... Sorry, I didn't read your... When you address me, you say my name. Mr. Taz Van Rassel. Thank you. Is our guest.

And he's part of the Sunday service that is moving to the Fox Theater. Theater. Cabaret. Cabaret. Life is a cabaret. Was it called the Fox theater. Cabaret. Life is a cabaret. Was it called the Fox Theater before? When it was a pornography theater? Yes, I believe it was. It was not a cabaret then. It wasn't a casual sit-down joint. It was a very...

It was pretty casual from my memory. It was an aggressive sit-down. It was an in-and-out operation. So to speak. Should we get to know us? Yeah. Get to know us. Thanks for being our guest.

Yes. Thanks for having me. It's nice to see you again. Yeah, yeah. I haven't seen you guys in a while. Too long, too long. I know. I think the last time we talked to you, maybe you moved into a new place.

Maybe you were doing some kind of job of some sort. Maybe you were fighting with an animal I don't do research Before I come to the last episode You guys do though, right? What's new? That's our question I did move, but I think

I've moved again Oh really? Do you love moving? Are you in love with it? I moved last summer And that was after three years of living with Warren Bates Past guest Yeah. Do you love moving? Are you in love with it? I moved last summer. Okay. And that was after three years of living with Warren Bates, a past guest. That's right. Yeah, absolutely.

And now I live on my own. And do you love it? Oh, yeah. Is this your first time living on your own? It is. As an adult? I like it. I like it.

Yeah? What immediately was the significant kind of change? I had no one to blame but myself. Oh, right. And so I realized I was blaming Warren for everything. But it wasn't his fault. Including keeping you up late at night? Yeah, everything.

Like, Warren keeps playing rap music all night long. Yeah, that was pretty much all me. So what are we talking? Dishes? Dishes. Laundry? Laundry. Warren didn't do your laundry for you. Exactly. So what are we talking? Dishes? Dishes, smells, laundry. Warren didn't do your laundry for you.

Exactly. So you've moved into a place. You were just on a tour of schools. Wait, wait, wait. We can't be zipping through this stuff. There's a whole universe to explore when you're living on your own for the first time. It's true. How often do you wear pants in the place? Yeah. Zero percent of the time? More in the summer because my window is right beside a shared balcony for the whole apartment. And so weirdos go out there. And then I had to put pants on. Fair enough.

But in the winter, I don't so much. Who are these weirdos? Your neighbors? Yeah. Okay. Are you a pants off guy, Graham? Pants off? Oh, absolutely.

If I, I mean, I live in a house with too many people, so it's pants-on all the time. Sure. I hate it. But the moment you enter your room. Pants-gone. Pants-off. Yeah, yeah. But, like, not nude.

No, just pants-off. A nude with a shirt. Yeah. Yeah, I like that. You're too gross. I can do what I want. You guys aren't there. Yeah, but now I know you do.

Do you have mirrors in the house? I have one. Yeah. What do you wear? It keeps falling off because I put it up myself with that sticky stuff, the U-Glue or, you know, that like tacky. Like U-Who glue stick? No.

Is it like the blue colored? No, it's like a sticker that you put on. Oh, yeah. Double-sided, like, and it keeps mysteriously falling off only at night. It's not mysterious. It's too heavy. Yeah. But why is it only at night?

Because, I don't know. That's just when time runs. How many times does it happen? Three. Okay. It's panels. It's squares because I couldn't afford a real mirror. So I put up four squares and the bottom one keeps falling off.

What do you mean you can't afford a real mirror, so I put up four squares, and the bottom one keeps falling off. What do you mean you can't afford a real mirror? I bought the cheaper version, which was four panels to put up. Because mirrors at, say, a thrift store are like five, five, six dollars. Show me these. Oh, I absolutely- Like a full-length mirror? Yeah. Okay.

Yeah. Is that what you need? Yes, please. To see your shirt and no pants? Tell your viewers. It's got like, you gotta put like brackets on the wall to hold it. Oh, yeah. I can't do that.

You can? Yeah. I've done it before and I make big holes and then it falls out. Is it because you're putting them right into the drywall? Yeah. Okay. But do you know just to look for a stud? Oh, I'm losing you.

I can't find a stud. You can. Right there. Yeah, that's what I need the mirror for now when you're talking about just wearing a shirt are you talking like a hockey jersey and nothing else that's sexy that's like a dress

that's something that is sexy when girls do it and boys don't and boys don't but yeah it's one of those things that you're like, are you just wearing my football jersey and nothing underneath? Yeah. I don't own any sports clothes.

None? I own a track suit. Who's your favorite track athlete? Manute Bull. You were so close to naming an actual I know Were you trying to think of Usain Bolt? Yep

Then I panicked Either the fastest or tallest guy I don't know So And like Is it Is it Have you made it into your dream apartment?

Have you put in things that you like, or is it just all lawn chairs? It started that way. Now it's just I have piles of clothes. Okay. I had a chair, and then I pile of clothes on it. I don't have a dining room table. I eat everything on my bed because it's a bachelor apartment. And I've grown accustomed to eating everything on my bed.

Abby and I have a kitchen table, a dining room table. They're both just covered in crap. I noticed that. And we eat everything on the coffee table in the living room. Okay. I wish I had a coffee table. Yeah. Well, again, these are everywhere.

Show me. Where do you live? Because at the end of the month, people just put this exact stuff just out on the street. I'm not advocating you buy trash. Or pick up free trash. I sort of am. I've just grown really accustomed to my paneled mirrors and eating on my bed. What do you eat?

Like, are you taking a casserole into bed with you? Every kind of food. Soup. Do you... So you eat off your lap? Or like hold the... No, I have like a precarious system where I balance it while I watch a movie on my laptop. Wow.

Wow. You balance food on your computer? No. Or you watch the movie on your laptop? No, I actually put the computer on a fold-up table. I put the computer on a throne. Yeah, I'm doing it wrong. Yeah, I've got aup table. I put the computer on a throne. Yeah, I'm doing it wrong. I've got a whole table.

Dinner tables. But you say you have a lot of clothes. You're a very well-dressed man. You're somebody who I would say... Sometimes. No, I've never seen you not well-dressed. I've seen you in a tracksuit. You should be in a tracksuit.

Very reminiscent of Manute Ball. That's for rap battles. See, you don't track in your track suit. I do not. No. You just lounge about. No, I just host rap battles in the track suit. That's it.

Taz is the host of Rap Battles, local rap show. Yeah. When's the next one? April 26th. Look at all the plugs. Yeah. That's pretty good. That's a good time of year.

Exams are over. Sure. So we can finally get all the students in. Speaking of which, you just went on a big tour of schools. I was, I was. Which you've done before. I know we've talked about this. Yeah, this is like my sixth or seventh year.

Wait, wait, wait. I don't want to move past these paneled mirrors just yet. No, I'm kidding. You can move on to your precious school tour. How was it? Was it all right? Yeah. Do you have to be educational?

Are you teaching? Not at all. Let's give more detail. Yeah, exactly. You went to high schools, elementary schools? I was mostly doing middle schools and high schools, some elementary schools. You went to high schools, elementary schools? I was mostly doing middle schools and high schools, some elementary schools. Performing in gyms and auditoriums around this beautiful province.

Performing improv? And we do 45 minutes of improv. Pretty much every single scene we bring up a kid as a volunteer to do something. And then we do five minutes of questions. Arms, yep. And is it... It sounds awful. It sounds very scary to me.

Is it just a fun thing for the kids? It would be awful if we had to do something. Like, we have no... It's not like, okay, you gotta teach them all about bullying. Yeah. We don't go in with any... When I was in high school, and you were my improv coach, we had to do one for the Insurance Corporation of British Columbia.

They paid us, though. They didn't. Well, I guess I suppose I'm getting paid. I should make that clear. I'm not doing this for free. Right. Someone was getting paid for that. Right. But, yeah, we had to go to elementary schools. It was around Halloween and teach them about safety. Like,

trick-or-treating safety? Yeah, while doing improv. Oh, wow. I vaguely remember that. Give me a candy bar. Twix. Now do a scene. We don't have to teach them anything. We just go in and we do like Justin Bieber jokes for the kids in the back,

and then animal jokes for the kids in the front, and then politician jokes for the teachers. So, oh, does it go by age? And then a bunch of jokes just for us that sometimes people get. And we're just like, ah, we did something different. Good. How many of you are there? Two.

Just two of you? Yeah. Against the whole school? Yeah. And in elementary school, it's kindergarten to grade seven. Wow. We did a bunch of middle schools, which is weird. I never went to a middle school, but it's grade seven wow we did a bunch of middle schools which is weird i've never i never went to a middle school but it's grade seven to nine yeah that's what i

went to one of those and some of the ones in the interior are so big that they had to split up each grade so we're doing like shows for four or five hundred kids in a gymnasium of just grade sevens wow just grade eights and then just great like us three in a row in the same... Yeah, it was strange. Wow. Do you... So, what... You were saying Justin Bieber. Is that, like, still a reference for kids?

Still a hot topic for kids. They usually say it before we do, so they're like, okay, I guess we're doing this. What else? What other kind of, like... Twerking. Oh, yeah. Very, very funny for kids.

Do you actually, does one of the kids like twerk and everybody laughs? Is that how it works? Sometimes they do. It depends on the age. We didn't really twerk for the younger kids. For them, we'd... You mustn't. Grade 12s, we were like, all right, we'll twerk, you idiots.

Yeah, yeah. You idiots. And some of them would like to bring up like, the Ukraine. We're like, uh... You want to talk about this? I don't know. That missing plane. Uh, guys.

Yeah. Not good. Topic selection. We do one scene where we do, like, a scene where we go, freeze. Okay, what happens next? And we ask the kid his questions. One kid, like, looked me in the eyes, like, did you see a retarded elephant? And I just looked at him, like, there's a better way to say that. Okay, anyone

else? So we sort of take what we want. As we're doing it. You twerk what you want. We twerk what we want. Make it for us. Bieber and twerking. Now I know. If I ever interact with a kid, I know that's what I'll throw into the conversation.

I love it. And I had a big beard, which they were fascinated with. I just shaved off my beard yeah uh but they couldn't get enough of that and questions at the end like how long did it take you to grow that beard every single school wanted information and usually when you're at these schools or at least from your photos that you've taken of yourself they uh put you in an equipment room equipment room yeah i took a selfie in every single equipment room we were in i don't know what to do with them just like a tumblr yeah are they that interesting i i think they're pretty interesting i get i mean a tumblr is you only if you still have more to add to it yeah well next tour but i have like 32 and it's you something with you have an instagram what about instagram like 32. And it's you with a bunch. Do you have an Instagram? What about Instagram?

Yeah, I got that. It's you with a bunch of utility balls, pylons. I just kept doing it for something to do. It gave me like a task. It gave me a task to do. Oh, sure. And I just do that every day. So, as they put us in the changing room, I'm like, can I get in the equipment room?

Let me in Yeah, someone's got the keys I also played basketball before every show Really? Just by myself You said you weren't athletic Yeah, so there you go Yeah, so you've done this

You're an old hand at it It's not frightening to you To be in front of high schoolers Would there be something more terrifying Than having to stand you to be in front of high schoolers would there be more something more terrifying than having to stand in front of a group of high schoolers yeah like now to make here's what here's what i think is funny yeah but i'm not i'm not a i'm not your average guy i'm not like the other boys the first 10 minutes is them judging you harshly yeah like especially in high school.

You come out and you just see everyone turn and start whispering. This is gay. Look how gay this is. They're usually talking about my beard this time around. I had a beard, so I knew. But yeah, I don't know what they're saying. Horrible things. And then by the end, they're high-fiving us, which is also weird.

It's like, I don't know if you're making fun of me or if you liked it, but thank you. All right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You have to stay here. We're leaving. I don't remember. So is it intended to be fun for them? Yeah.

Is it like you can either watch a movie or go see- It's called a cultural assembly. Oh. They always announce it. And now for your cultural assembly. So I started going, you guys ready for some culture? Which confused them more. Did you ever have any, like, anything that wasn't fun?

Nothing fun. Or that was fun, I mean? Nothing that was just intended to be fun. I think we would always get, like, a theater group that was teaching us about, you know, guard your friends at a party, because otherwise they're going to get... They get stolen. Or actual culture. Very rarely would we get anything that would border on culture.

Okay. I remember seeing, like, African dance and stuff came to my school, and, like, masks. Yeah, we went to the same school. Yeah. Well, I'm talking about elementary school. Oh. Yeah. We had tons of African dance in high school.

I don't really remember. I remember... Mesmer talking about elementary school. Oh. Yeah. Tons of African dance in high school. I don't really remember. I remember. Mesmer came to our school. The. The. The hypnotist. Well, that's not educational. No, that was pure entertainment.

I don't remember that at all. But maybe that's because he hypnotized me. Maybe. That seems like a very, very date. Like, that's a very, if I was a parent, I'd be like, wait a minute. Who's this guy hypnotizing my child? Anthony Cools, the erotic hypnotist. I remember everything sort of had, like, an environmental vibe.

Yeah, that's true. You need to protect these whales. Then they bring in a whale. This one died on the way here. Yeah, protect this one at a party. Yeah, I only remember there was, like, a group of students, high school students, that went around teaching kids to, like, look out for your friend. And if you go to a party, don't drink. And, like, all the kids that—we were too young.

Right. We were like, where are these parties that you can drink at? And, you know, then they would do like a tableau or something like that. Right. The dangers of premarital sex. They'd act it out? Yeah. Okay. You have to sit through the whole wedding.

Yeah. I remember in elementary school there was a puppet show that came and there was one thing that involved like gunpowder like they there was like one pyrotechnic in it and at the end when there was questions and answers it was all like how did you do that where did you get that stuff where can you get it so how much work did you have to put into the fire? Have you ever burnt your beard? All beard-related questions. Is that, like, you do a question period, and they just...

Yeah, you do five minutes at the end. And is it all about beard, or what else do they ask? No, it depends on the age. Like, high school kids ask a bit more intelligent questions. They're like, how do we get out of this town?

Yeah. Is this a career? They ask that a more intelligent questions. They're like, how do we get out of this town? Is this a career? They ask that a lot. How much do you get paid? Less than your dad. But more than your teachers. Good night. Then we run.

Yeah. I don't know my dad. How do you know how much he makes? Do you know my dad? Are you my dad. How do you know how much he makes? Do you know my dad? Are you my dad? How come you make less than yourself? When you did the fire thing, how did you do that? When I was in elementary school, I saw a fire thing.

How did they do that? Oh, I got a bunch of apology letters from one school. Oh, really? Because the teacher made them? Yeah, a teacher made them. We went for a final meeting after the whole tour. They're like, oh, yeah, these all arrived for you guys. It was like a pile from this one school.

Just apology. Like, so sorry. It was Valentine's Day. We had too much candy. You guys were really funny. We shouldn't have let Jeremy say poo. We shouldn't have let him. Yeah. We shouldn't have let him. And then multiple kids who weren't there.

That was from the teacher. I shouldn't have egged on that kid. Say poo. Say poo, I'll give you an egg. There was multiple kids who weren't there. Even though I wasn't there, I'm sorry for what happened. The teacher's obviously like, I don't care, you're all writing it. I was well behaved.

What happened? They used fake names, and they told us they you're all writing it. I was well behaved. What happened? They used fake names, and they told us they were fake names. This is not my real name. Oh, the teacher didn't proofread them? Yeah, but I guess they gave them the option of anonymity. Oh. So one kid told me, like, my name is not Sasha. Ooh, if you were going to pick a name, what would it be?

Horace. Horace. Yeah. Kenny Parker. No, what would it be? Horace. Horace. Kenny Parker. Sounds realistic. Ba-da-joo-ah-poo. Ja-ja-ja-bab-doo? Yeah. What did these kids do?

Yeah, was it a bad show? It wasn't that much different than any other, but they did all have candy, so they were just going kind of nuts. And it was last show on a Friday, so they were at going kind of nuts. And it was last show on a Friday. So they were at the end of their rope and full of candy. And candy grams. And we literally go in and like, how's everyone doing? We just rile them up like super grits. Who I do remember coming to our high school.

Super grits came to our high school? That was the best thing ever at our high school. This was the mascot for the NBA franchise when Vancouver had an NBA franchise, the Vancouver Grizzlies. Super Grizz. Yeah, because our school won the BC Championships. Yeah, two years in a row. So the prize was that Super Grizz came and just did a show. What did Super Grizz do for a show? A bunch of trampoline dunks.

Oh, fucking awesome. Yeah. He just does monologues. Woo! Yeah, it was an era of jock jamsda-da-da-da-da-da. He just does monologues. Woo! Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. Yeah, it was an era of jock jams. Do you remember this or no? I don't.

Wow. See, I was two years older than you. Sure. But I've caught up a little bit. Yeah. That's amazing. Because, yeah, I mean, that's all a kid wants to see is a mascot doing slams. That was pure entertainment. It's amazing.

Why would a mascot do anything but go to schools? If you go to a professional sporting game, tickets are $200. The people who have $200 to blow on a night of a sports game don't care about some dumb mascot. That's true. They're not getting hired for corporate events. Yeah, well, the woman who cuts my hair. She's a mascot? She hired the Vancouver Canucks mascot to come to her wedding.

What? Yeah. The whale? Yeah, Finn. Did he fish eat? Did he spit something out of his head? Smoke comes out of his blowhole. Why smoke?

I don't know. Why would you want this person at your wedding? He has a black tie dress as well. Really? Yeah, so he'll wear like a top hat and tails.

Take all the focus for your special day. Yeah, I know. And what was even worse was he announced that he was getting married on the same day he's getting married to a giant taco he actually has there is a female fin finette oh really finette funicello r.i.p um have you seen you've seen the mascot races yep uh racist yeah the racist mascot

which one Cleveland Atlanta yeah the San Diego chicken yeah what is the one the gorilla from the Phoenix Suns why is he racist no I just always think it's weird that

he has nothing to do with the Phoenix Suns but he's a gorilla who's the real hip hop guy that's just like a blue guy that has glasses? He's got sunglasses and he's just like a muscly blue guy. He does awesome dunks. That's all I know. There's a blue guy and there's a muscly rabbit from one of the teams. Are you sure he's not wascally?

I'm not sure. But these guys, they just have muscle suits. They're not, like, dumpy mascot bodies. Dumpy mascot bodies are a thing of the past, man. Are you sure they're not just muscly? No, no, yeah, these are definitely suits. Yeah. No, there's...

Could be really strong men. I don't think strong men go in for the mascot game. They want people to know that they've got... The NBA mascots, they make like six figures. They do not. They do too. What? They absolutely do.

What about the NHL? I don't think the NHL ones make as much. They don't have to be gymnastic. Oh, yeah, I guess because they do have to do like crazy, like loop-de-loop. Yeah. Yeah. What about the screwball? The Philadelphia screwball?

Philadelphia? What is he called? The Philly Fanatic? Fanatic. Fanatic. The Capital City Goofball? Is that what I'm thinking of? I'm mixing up the Goofball and the Fanatic.

Okay. Yeah, the Fanatic, he doesn't do anything. He's just a fat guy. Yeah, he goes around, he tousles hair. Yeah, yeah. He'll steal popcorn. He's probably pulling in six figures. What do you think?

Do you think Finn spends most of his days probably visiting hospitals and stuff like that? Like, what does he do? You're assuming it's the same guy. No, it is. It is the same guy. He has a business card. With his real name on it? With his real name on it.

Just his job is Finn. Oh, cool. Good for him. I don't know. He'll also be able to use that at the end of his life yeah or the closing credits of his film um anyways you've seen these mascot races oh yeah right yeah they're uh they're hilarious they're fantastic because they can't run in those costumes uh dude the the muscly guys shouldn't be allowed yeah there. I've only seen the sushi races at the Vanguard Canadians game.

What's that? They're sushi mascots. Yeah, there's a glob of wasabi with legs. There's a roll. There's a pretty, like, yam roll. Yeah. It's like a pretty lady. And then there's a third thing.

Oh, sure, yeah, like a shrimp thingy. And they run the bases And you have to pick And Wasabi is a big cheater Ryan Beal hates Wasabi Because he has season tickets to the Canadiens games And he always stands there like You're a bum Wasabi

And kids are turning around Yeah I do love minor league baseball It used to be I used to go to those games 10 years ago. Yeah, when it was single A. It's still single A. Sorry, triple A.

It was triple A when I was a kid. Triple A is a good one. Yeah. Wait, single A bad, triple A good? Yeah, yeah. Now it is single A, and it is, but it's more popular than ever. Like, the games sell out every day they're fun they are fun but they've always been fun and you never know who the players are

they're like 18 year old kids yeah and but but uh like growing 10 years ago it would be half empty all the time i don't get and what what changed about it they stopped selling peanuts and cracker jacks oh yeah it got popular, and then that became a real thing, and now people like it? Like much of the world? The weird thing is we won a single-A championship. A couple. Yeah, but who cares? Yeah.

It's like we win the Grey Cup, the Canadian football championship. Who cares? Yeah, well, I mean, there are CFL fans, right? There's gotta be baseball fans. Canadian comedy work. I know. Yeah. But nobody goes out to that on a sunny day.

But what, uh, like, are there people that go to these baseball games who know anything about baseball? Right. Yeah. Right. And there are a bunch of other people like him, and he knows them, because they all have season's tickets. And I bet the players know them because the stadium is small enough. Because they tweet?

Yeah. And they tweet, and they're always there, like, heckling and stuff. Yeah. They're like, you're a bum. See you next week. Yeah. See you next week. Ryan follows a bunch of them on Twitter.

Of course. Yeah. This is... The players? Yeah. But the players, you know, hopefully the players aren't here next year. Hopefully they get called up to AA. Hashtag belly-itcher.

It's like a 17-year-old kid from El Salvador, like, oh yeah, he's great, he's going to move up. Knows his name. Has anybody great started out here and then gone on to the bigs? I don't. When we were a AAA team, team yeah we had john all the rude really maybe not um we used to be triple a for the white socks for the white socks and at different times the athletics bo jackson came down when he injured himself oh really at different times the uh angels and so like the late 90s Angels teams that were really good, like JT Snow, they all played here.

And then in the 60s, Brooks Robinson played here. I don't know who that is. He's a Hall of Famer. Oh, hey. All right. Maybe 50s. Sure. Do you know a lot?

Do you go? You seem like somebody who would go to a... I go once a year. Just once? Yeah, I don't care. Yeah, but... But it's a nice day out. It seems fun, right?

It's more fun. It was more fun before it was full every day. Yeah. Oh, now you don't like it. Well, I kind of want to have to wait in line for beer. B-Y-O-B, right? There's no security. There's got to be very limited...

Really? You've got to sit in the Diamond Club with Ryan. They have servers. Oh. Well, maybe if he invited me. Yeah. This is it right here. This is your invitation?

Yeah. It's a throwdown. Ryan, invite Dave to a game. He's not going to listen to this. He will. Oh, he will. He knows what side his bread is buttered upon. Yeah, his baseball is...

Upon which his bread is buttered. His bat is corked. Did he take you, Graham? Nope. Oh, Ryan, take Graham to the baseballked. Did he take you, Graham? Nope. Oh, Ryan. Take Graham to the baseball game. He took Charlie a bunch of times. I signed up for Big Brothers

just so that I could be taken to the baseball game. You signed up as a little brother? Yeah. He buys two tickets so he can just take friends all year. Yeah. Oh, well. I guess I haven't been his friend all year.

Charlie DeMario's got like three. Why doesn't he just give me two tickets and I can take my friend, Graham? Yeah, that'd be fun. Oh, he should just give you the tickets. Yeah. Dave can eat the peanuts, I'll eat the Cracker Jacks. Ryan, give him the tickets. Ryan, we don't care if we ever get back. It's a weird sentiment, right?

To be like, I hope I die here at the baseball game? Yeah, exactly. Like, it's so good. I don't care if I ever get back to my regular life. If they don't win, it's a shame. I mean, look, I want to die here. I'm not too invested in the home team. I mean, I'll root for them. I mean, I get the rules.

It's one, two, three strikes, you're out. At the old ball game. Even back then it was the old ball game. Yeah, it was never the brand new game that's taking America by storm. I started watching... This past weekend I watched... This past weekend, I watched House of Cards on Netflix, the entire first season. Rowing Machine.

Yeah. Oh, boy. Still haven't done it. Really? I started watching House of Lies and realized I was watching the wrong one. That was good, too. What is House of Lies? It's with Don Cheadle.

Okay. Yeah. But I... I didn't realize that it was not the same actors. You're like, man, there's a lot of Don Cheadle in this Kevin Spacey series. It got them confused. I was watching the Ken Burns baseball documentary. Yeah.

Because one night I couldn't sleep. Sure, sure. That'll put you to sleep. I woke up at four in the morning wide awake, and I was like, okay, well. But it's Ken Burns baseball for me. And I watched episode one, which takes place in the 19th century, like before the advent of the car. And it's like, that is...

Because I like baseball, but that is the most boring thing it's like real baggy pants yeah it's like what do you mean old-time baseball is really boring or just like baseball before the major leagues existed but when they were just inventing baseball oh yeah sure yeah and like here's this guy who was really good he was also really good at killing pigs. That sounds way more fascinating than modern sports. But the only thing that kept me awake was I was like, whose voice is this?

All these voices sound so familiar. So I kept having to go on IMDB. And who was it? Danny Aiello. No, I don't remember. It's like every animated movie I watch. I constantly go, who is that? Is it George Will? Baseball expert George Will.

An American historian. Is he the snowman in Frozen? Yeah, is he the voice of the character in Titan After Earth? Now, there's also a Ken Burns documentary about Prohibition. Yeah, and jazz. That was boring. Civil War. Yeah.

Prohibition, one I couldn't watch. Somebody was telling me that they watched it, and I completely misunderstood why Prohibition came about. It was more boring than Boardwalk Empire, which is such a snooze. But do you guys know why you saw the documentary? Oh, I forgot most of it, but I am watching Boardwalk Empire, so I should know. It had a lot to do with the women? Yeah, well, it was. The suffragettes, yeah?

But it was because... Am I remembering correctly? Yes, absolutely. But it was because, guys, it used to be that you would drink beer kind of with breakfast. That was like a bread substitute. Like in Europe. Yeah, and then when whiskey kind of became, like cocktails and stuff came on the market, guys were just drinking whiskey in lieu of beer in the morning, and that's why.

I had no idea. But apparently that's what started the movement. Guys were really, really abusing us. Well, liquor before beer, never fear. Beer before liquor. Liquor before work. Let's get shit done. Liquor before work, never twerk.

Exactly. Work before liquor, Justin Bieber. Yeah, there you go. So besides watching Ken Burns' documentary, what's new with you? Well, I don't have a lot that's new with me. But what I do got is I sort of collected a few things that interested me on the news. What's in the news? There was, well, I saw two news stories a couple weeks ago about two different places in Canada that are doing two similar things. In Guelph, Ontario, there is a family that is living for a year like it is 1986.

That happened like last year. Well, it's a whole year. Yeah, but it started last year well it's a whole year yeah but it started last it's still going on i heard about it before you is what i'm saying okay go on um uh yeah no it was a news story it was like we're catching up with this family that's been doing this thing so they have to pretend that movies are just coming out like i can't wait till gremlins 2 well they had all the basically all their technology is from 1986 so like they don't have anything newer than a nintendo but the kids are still in school right they're not homeschooled so they're aware but they don't have the vaccines the modern day yeah they also have to use condoms that were best by 1986 that's why they have so many kids um and what's the experiment like what i don't know we're so plugged in man let's simplify

but the dad has a mullet he has to it's 1986 exactly he's blaming uh gays for age yeah exactly yeah uh that's all i remember from 86 uh you know everybody was really excited about the 88 olympics those were on the horizon so they could talk about like who's gonna win big at this thing that we know how what were you like in 1986 both of you i was eight was eight. Yeah. I was... Yeah. Yeah, I was six, so I guess I... Oh, I think I was really into these shoes that had a zipper on the side that you could put... Kangaroo shoes.

Yeah, those kangaroo shoes. I was into British Knights. Didn't they have the Velcro in the... Tongue? I don't know. That you could put your change in? Oh, they had... Yeah, there was...

But this one had... The pair I had had one on That you could put your change in? Oh, they had... Yeah, there was... But this one had... The pair I had had one on the side that you put change in. Yeah, there were two options, I believe. Oh, yeah. And transformer watches. I've got one on the side. Yeah. 86.

Absolutely. Transformer watches. Yeah, I remember seeing that for the first time at Expo 86. My cousin from Alberta had one. Oh, was it in the swatch exhibit? No, he just had it. Oh, okay. He was from Alberta, so he was older was it in the swatch exhibit? No, he just had it. Oh, okay. He was from Alberta, so he was older and richer than me.

Right. Yep. It's good. It's a tale as old as time. When I was a kid, I had a, I think it was the first watch I ever had. It was called Slime Time. Oh, go on. What's the time?

Slime Time. Yeah. Yeah. Did you have the bat? I had the bat. Oh, fuck yeah. There was probably like a tarantula and... Yeah.

Anyway, it was a... Oh, like a bat, like a flying bat. Yeah, it was... It would pop open. It was a watch you had on your wrist, and it was this grotesque, enormous bat, like, on your wrist. It was big. Yeah.

Yeah. And you had to, you know... No, you'd hit it like a button And it would like go like Go bat Yeah Bat Didn't it open In some way

Cause you go like What time is it Slime time And then it would like Do something For some reason I'm just remembering Flipping it up

Maybe that's it But maybe it just broke Yeah Maybe in the commercial Kids would go Slime time And flip it up And would like

But slime Somehow was involved No It was just It was the slime It would go, slime time, and flip it up. And would like, but slime somehow was involved? No, it was just, it was the slime. It was America's slime time. Much like Madballs had nothing to do with anything gross. It was, yeah, it was like, it was in the heat of Double Dare and. And Madballs and Boglins. Yeah, yeah.

What were Boglins? The ones that had the eyes? They were the little puppets. Oh, yeah. They came Boglins the ones that had the eyes? They were little puppets. Oh, yeah. They came in a box, right? Yeah. A cage. A little cage.

Was there a toy that had literally a nose with slime coming out of it? Like, it was maybe a board game? Don't wake Daddy. That was an obstacle. Blow your nose. That was an obstacle on Double Dare. Double Dare, yeah.

Yeah, that might have just been it. I maybe had the whole game. What was Double Dare? I don't think I ever saw it was hosted by mark summers hypochondriac mark summers or germaphobe uh he hosts uh some uh food show now okay uh and it was families uh or maybe like brother and sister yeah it would go and they would have to go through an obstacle course that involved slime. And they'd wear elbow pads, knee pads, and helmets. Right. But it was still pretty dangerous.

Yeah, they would have to get like, oh yeah, you gotta get the golden ticket out of this bucket of chili. With your face. There's a lot of chili. Like beans. Was it the one? You'd have to just slop around. Was there like a Canadian, a badder Canadian version of it? There's been a bunch of versions.

I mean, the brother and sister Canadian show was Kid Street. Kid Street and the cars. But wasn't there... What were you collecting? Tickets or something in this Double Dare? Yeah, or flags. I feel very like I don't know.

It evolved into Fear Factory. What's that other show that they go through the crazy obstacle course, only it's adults and it's outdoors? Oh, Wipeout. Yeah, yeah. That's right. I'm more of an O'Sit fan. What's O'Sit? It's musical chairs with obstacles where they run around in a circle and a popular band of the time plays until they stop.

What? Time? Slime Time? Time time? No, not a popular band. But they play until the music stops and then they have to go in the center and go across an obstacle into the center where there's a bunch of chairs.

Is this a contemporary show? Yes. Wow. I've watched it multiple times. It's usually when I'm on a tour in a hotel. Oh, it's called O-Sit. O-Sit, and it's hosted by... Oprah.

That's what the O stands for. No, it's hosted by... Who's that guy? Tony Danza. No, Jamie... Fox. Kennedy. Yep.

No, really? Jamie Kennedy? Yeah, yeah. Wow, the mighty of... State. At the appropriate level. But it's clear that they're not actually in the place where it's happening. It's him and a girl, and it's like green screen, and they're like, whoa, that looked like a bad fall.

Oh, yeah, that's what Wipeout is, too. Okay, same deal. It's written dialogue. I only know Austin. I don't know Wipeout. And what's the band that's playing? Different bands. So it's bands that are clearly like, do you want an opportunity?

But not a band that I've heard of. There was one that was like Asian Duck Foundation or something. Jackfruit. Does that sound like a band that I've heard of there was one that was like Asian Dub Foundation or something does that sound like a band? yeah it does Asian Milk Foundation? Dub Foundation I mean that's what I would name a band

yeah sure it's great though there was one guy called Milf Hunter they get to choose their own nicknames he was like I'm the Milf Hunter. They get to choose their own nicknames. Nice. He was like, I'm the Milf Hunter. Did any of those kids that were writing to apologize say, Milf Hunter's not my real name?

But when he just said it. Most of them, actually. I assume it was all their real names. What do they care? You're not going to hunt them down. You didn't even notice. What was that show? I'm going to hunt down those milfs.

What was that show that was uh where they would it was a dance there's a dance competition oh dance 360 dance yeah yeah tag your man yeah your man head to head and it was uh why isn't that still on that seems like a show that should still be on was it chris from from kid and play no he hosted uh that the lip-syncing competition. Oh, it was Kel from Kenan and Kel. Is that the guys from Good Burger? Yeah. All right.

I didn't know what you were talking about. Yeah. Wow. Yeah, why didn't that? It seems like it could just have run. It was a fun show. How many people can dance? The same amount?

Well, there's a lot of dance shows now. Yeah. Yeah, and all those people know how to dance. I guess you're right. It was a fun show. How many people can dance? Same amount. Well, there's a lot of dance shows now. Yeah. Yeah, and all those people know how to dance. I guess you're right. You know. But it was like on every day. Yeah, I guess maybe they overdid it. Maybe like...

Like you're going to run out of people in your city who can dance. Are you going to travel for Dance360? I would. Yeah, absolutely. Now we're in Dayton, Ohio. Oh, the show is traveling. Yeah, the show travels teaks road show pretty good so what happened to this family that's living like it's 1980s another dumb idiot they don't have cell phones yeah that's basically it that's basically they don't know what's happening on twitter that's fine were they're not cell phones giant big ones or car phones there were

but they were they cost you know ten thousand dollars they have vcrs though yeah they have vcrs they could walk but i like i didn't get a good enough look at their place to see like okay they're watching vhs but are they are they watching movies from pre-1986 only i'm sure they have a live stream oh yeah yeah yeah yeah but the other news story i saw was a place in vancouver in east vancouver i don't i don't know exactly where but that's where we are right maybe it's here oh maybe it is it's not it's a a place that's open to the public. It's a 70s house where you are not allowed to use any technology from after 1970. But it's not someone living this way. It is just like a social, it's like a salon, a lounge.

It's a place, you know. Go and have a key party. lounge yeah um it's a place you know you go and have a key party you go and you listen to records and have a conversations with people and you're not allowed to have a phone are they making money no why are they doing this because people are the worst yeah because they got bars now with it yeah the lockbox for your phones do they have those here yeah uh yeah yeah it's not the sin bin the score the score where's that it's a place guys it's the it's the gay sports bar Have those here? Yeah. Yeah. It's not the Sinbin. The Score. The Score. Where's that? It's a place guys go to.

It's the gay sports bar. Oh, really? No, it's just on Davie. Because there's a soccer-themed sports bar somewhere else downtown. I thought that was the gay one. Well, you know, they can all, depending on the time of night, they can all be. You can do whatever you want. Yeah, exactly.

It's not 1986, buddy. Yeah, it's not 70s. Oh sure sure yeah in that oh yeah in the 70s house you go in there and you have to like talk about vietnam and how it affected your family yeah you have to kiss winnie cooper i'd go to that house oh yeah i wonder what she's doing now the character oh the character yeah okay so she would have been like born in 1960 ish yeah so she'd be uh heading into no maybe born in the late 50s so she'd be um 60 late late 50s late 50s yeah yeah keeping it tight yeah coops they didn't stay together on the show, spoiler alert. I think in the last episode they broke up or something?

Yeah, they broke... Future broke up? They future broke up in voiceover. Yeah, yeah. Why would they bother doing that? Why not just let those characters stay together? Because no one was watching anymore. It didn't matter. Kevin Arnold's dad died in voiceover as well.

Yeah, he went to Vietnam. He went back to Vietnam. No, he had a heart attack, I think. I assumed. He was a walking heart attack. But then I saw the actor

in something. You guys all remember the last episode of Wonder Years? What? I love the Wonder Years. Yeah. I don't remember the last episode. I remember he was

a Chinese food delivery guy and then I stopped watching it. They're at a parade in the last scene and the voiceover is him and then... Whitney Cooper goes to France or something

and said, yeah, and then she whitney cooper goes to france or something and said yeah and then i she went for two years and i picked her up uh with uh from the airport when she got back with my wife yeah becky slater yeah that show was so would you go to this 70s house yeah i don't i think the bad thing is you have to hang out with the guy who thinks this is a great idea is he wearing bell bottoms and such i don't think it's that i think it's more like social and cultural i don't think it's like he's living in the 70s i think he's just like hey let's experience things like we did in the 70s but why not make it a 50s house yeah i don't know like i think because he likes led zeppelin

a lot yeah he likes uh were bell bottoms cool or were they like the affliction of the 70s um i think they were pretty cool okay like because you would wear like a jean bell bottom if you're like a cool guy and if you were like a disco guy you'd wear like a polyester that happened later there was a time when that was but that was 70s right like I guess you could only buy bell bottoms for a while

like it wasn't unless you were a nerd you had like straight legs yeah well the Ramones were from the 70s they didn't wear bell bottoms That's what I'm saying I guess your 501 Levi's have always been the same shape Don't worry, if you accidentally go to this 70s house

You don't have to put on bell bottoms But you do have to go to a key party Yeah, is that a 70s thing or a 50s thing? 70s 70s, I think Hot tubs and fondue Combining the two It's called the lifestyle now Yeah, is that a 70s thing or 50s thing? 70s. 70s, I think. Hot tubs and fondue combining the two. It's called The Lifestyle now.

What? Key parties, swingers. Is it happening now? It's called The Lifestyle? I think they call it The Lifestyle. I saw a Louis Theroux documentary. Okay. They prefer to call it The Lifestyle. The Lifestyle.

How did they get... I guess they were first to get the website it's just whoever claims it that's why the band the tea party is more popular than the the party the tea party they got the website um so yeah a couple of news stories about a couple of houses. Anachronisms. How about yourself? Not too much. But we, this was my, the highlight of my week was I went to a rock and roll music show at the Commodore Ballroom. Yeah. I know what you're going to say.

The ticket said doors at 8. So you showed up at? I showed up at quarter after 9, and the opening act was just starting. Yeah, that's what happened. Yeah, I'm a real doof. And it was the Mounties was the show. Or just Mounties, not the Mounties. Featuring past guests Steve Bays and Huxley Workman.

And the guy from Age of Electric and Limb Lifter. Ryan Dahl. Thank you. He's not a past guest, though. past guests Steve Bays and Huxley Workman yep and uh and the guy from Age of Electric and Limb Lifter Ryan Dahl thank you he's not a past guest oh

future guest yeah future guest absolutely and uh it was a really fun show but the opening guy he was doing this uh projection

and sing along Rich O'Coin right he's from Halifax very talented uh Haligonian yeah former roommate of Mark Little yeah friends with yeah and uh he was a lot of fun Rich O'Coin. Right. He's from Halifax. Very talented Haligonian. Yeah. Former roommate of Mark Little.

Yeah, friends with, yeah. And he was a lot of fun to watch, and he does like a lot of, he projects words on the screen and you're supposed to chant at them or whatever. And I got, I always chanted out. And then he passed out a parachute, and everybody was getting under the parachute and doing like a thing under the parachute. A little throwback. Yeah, so I got out of there.

How dirty is that parachute? You've been touring with it? I guess. A bunch of drunk adults. I guess at any given time, how dirty is a parachute? Probably really dirty. It's really dirty in an elementary school. But I was like, I gotta get out of here, parachute.

But Dave partook in the parachute part. Yeah, and I enjoyed it. Yeah, which shocked me, because I felt like it was like we switch a route. Like, I was the, I seemed like I would be the type that would enjoy a parachute. Well, you know, you, I would be. Dislike as much stuff as I do. But I was surprised that you liked the parachute, I must say. I like Richard Coyne.

Yeah. I like his music. Yep. I'm a fan. But you were under the parachute, I must say. I like Richard Coyne. Yeah. I like his music. Yep. I'm a fan. But you were under the parachute. I couldn't believe it. You tolerated his parachute. No, no.

I knew what I was getting into. He's like, in sort of Canadian indie music, he's known for having a great live show. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. And he does a great job. Interactive, like the Flaming Lips. Yeah, sure. And he he but yeah

no I got under it but it was a giant parachute oh absolutely and they're playing in Vancouver and it went basically all the way back to the sound booth yeah as so I wonder what it's like when they play in smaller towns where the venue is not as big like some people have to leave like a legion yeah like or some people have to tuck the parachute into their pants and carry it out to the street. Maybe he has a different sized parachute and he just... He probably travels with multiple sized parachutes. Yeah.

Is that a universal thing, the parachute in elementary school? Yeah. I only remember us doing it once, though. We did it all the time. Oh, we didn't do it all the time.'t do it all the one time it happened see this is this is a Canadian thing or was it just a bc thing did you have it yeah we had it okay where you would get up under you yeah that's like across north america i think so wherever parachute why did we only do it once yeah we did a very few times. It was like a gift. Okay, parachute day.

I feel like you had to maybe coordinate it with a few classes to make it worthwhile. To get enough kids. You need at least 30 kids to hold that shit up. You need more than that. Yeah, I guess small kids. Yeah, because otherwise they'll just take right off. That'd be the last you'd see of them.

Into the ceiling. What would you do with it? You would hold it, and you would flap it around. You'd run forward, and you'd run back. And then you'd run underneath it. Certain kids were allowed, like, okay, all the twos run in while the ones held it. You get counted off or something. I remember being a two.

And it was just ecstatic of running. You just ran like, oh my god! And then you had to go back and like, okay, two's back. And then hold on again. Gym class in elementary school was great because they didn't make you change into anything. In high school, you had to wear

shorts and a t-shirt. They were trying to teach you things. Yeah. But in elementary school, you were wearing shorts and a t-shirt well they were trying to teach you things yeah too yeah but in elementary school you were wearing shorts and t-shirt anyways let's just use your your youthful energy but like maybe i don't know it maybe was different for girls like i never had to think about it but i bet like girls parents had to be like okay tuesday she's got gym class so she can't wear this she can't wear these crazy uh culottes. Yeah, whatever girls wear. I don't think. Do you think? For like little kids?

I don't know. Girls would wear little dresses, wouldn't they? I don't think parents think about that. And little shoes. They're just little kids. You want appropriate footwear. Yeah, you can't have them going out there and marry Janes. That's the only shoe I know.

What about a nice wedge heel? Too young for a wedge heel. What? It's not sexy. No, I know, but, you know, it's going to throw off their balance. They've just got those weird little stubby little legs. Oh, kids are the worst. Yeah, so stubby.

Weird teeth. All their teeth coming in at different rates. Oh, yeah. Right? Falling out before the rest are in. Yeah. Real pumpkin-headed smiles. thanks for looking forward to i know yeah oh yeah kids are the best yeah three cheers for kids yeah ah well you know it'd be exciting maybe maybe uh on uh bring your dad to work day or school day right where you come in and everybody

speaks about their profession. Maybe you can be like, hey, bust out that parachute while I'm here. What's my profession? I don't know, but you're just like, hey, I'm here. You guys got that parachute. I know it's somewhere. I think we're getting ahead of ourselves. I got to say, being in so many equipment rooms, I haven't seen the parachute box. I feel like it's not a permanent thing.

I don't know if it happens that much anymore. I would have noticed it. Maybe the parachute box. I feel like it's not a permanent thing. I don't know if it happens that much anymore. I would have noticed it. Maybe the parachute toured around. I spent like 20 minutes in an equipment room just looking around, waiting for the principal to announce us, and I haven't seen it that much. I think I've seen like one or two. I feel like maybe that was it. Maybe that's why it was special. Maybe there was a

weird tragedy. Like they don't use the parachutes anymore? Yeah, like it took off. It got outside the door. They did it outside. Yeah, they did it outside and five kids took off.

Who knows? That would be the greatest. Did you ever have to do something outside where you put a message in a helium balloon and let it go? No.

I did that, but it wasn't like a task from a teacher. Did you do that? The whole school did it. It was weird, because I feel like it had an environmental message in it, too. Fuck you, penguins. I hope this chugs a turtle.

Wow. See you soon, garbage island. Welcome to, yeah, annual irony day then you go throw six-pack rings in the ocean go jump through them fish oh that's really funny um yeah so that's that's what i did is i uh didn't go under a parachute whilst you did. Cool story. Yeah. Well, I enjoyed it.

It brought about a lot of memories, right? Of parachute time and parachute time's future. Do you guys want to move on to Overhertz? Always. Okay. Hi, my name is Rishi Keshirway, and I have a podcast called Song Explorer. In each episode, a musician takes apart one of their songs, and piece by piece tells you the story of how it was made.

You get an inside look into the creative and technical process, and a unique view of a song by hearing just the drums, or just the guitars, or, say, just a Wurlitzer piano. If you're a fan of music, if you make music, or if you just like to learn how things are made, come check it out on MaximumFun.org. Thanks.

I'm Cameron Esposito, and each week I'm joined by my fellow podcasters, Ria Butcher. That's me. And Ricky Carmona. I am Ricky Carmona. We talk about action and sci-fi movies on a little show called Wham Bam Pow. You can find it on MaximumFun.org. It's amazing. Super fun.

True that. Reviews, news, and stuff you can use. Overheard. Overheard. Yeah. Overheard. Overheard. Yeah.

A segment in which when you're out in the town and you're listening to things. Yeah. When you're getting freaky with the town. Is this a character from like. Game of Thrones. Okay. I'm really excited about the new season of Game of Thrones because they have a freaky character. One of the White Walkers.

Yeah, he likes to get down. In the town. The funkiest character in Game of Thrones. The funkiest White Walker. But yeah. Winter's coming. Time to get freaky. I don't know enough about the show to know that that for sure isn't a character that's going to exist on the show. I got a freaky sword.

Going to get funky with it. He gets funky and freaky. Yeah. Anything that's F. Fraudulent. Is he a popular character? He is the most popular character. In the books.

He hasn't been in the show yet. He shows up this year. Taz seems excited. Oh, yeah. Is this a show you watch? I do. Okay. I don't know anything.

I know there's a lot of sex, a lot of beheadings. All you can eat, beheadings. Yeah. Incest. Oh, yeah. Maybe bestiality? Is there any of that? Not yet.

A horse gets his head cut off. Yeah, one guy races a horse. There you go. That's not bestiality. Is there any of that? Not yet. A horse gets his head cut off. Yeah, one guy races a horse. There you go. That's not bestiality. That's just cruelty. Cruelty to animals. If it's swift enough, it's not cruel. It's just...

It was sexual. Fair, fair. Now, overheards. We always like to start with the guest. Sure. And you said you have something of the oversea. Yeah. I went there to this place.

It's called Rosemary Rock Salt. Oh, it's a bagel place. Yeah. And it's on Broadway in Maine in Vancouver. And you're in love with it. It's great. Great food. Great stuff.

Good service. But in the back of the wall. Is it busy? Do I have to wait in line? A little bit busy. Oh, I don't have time for that. Get their clubhouse. It's turkey and smoked meat on a sandwich.

Dave, make time. And it's rosemary and rock salt on a bagel. On every bagel? No. If you order that bagel. Okay. And rock salt like. Like chunks of salt.

For like de-icing my driveway. Yes. Oh, it tastes so good. Yeah. But anyways, in the back of the room, because you de-icing my driveway? Yes. Yeah. Oh, it tastes so good. Yeah. But anyways, in the back of the room, because you've got to wait for your sandwich to be made, I noticed there's this wall, and it's like the dream wall. And it has a picture, a framed picture of every person that works there from what I ascertained. I saw definitely a bunch of people that were working there currently, I saw definitely a bunch of people that were working there currently, and it had their goals from one year, five year, and ten year goals,

and separated into personal goals, business, career goals. Dave's shaking his head. It was amazing. And I was looking at it while the girl walked by me. I'm like, oh, I know she wants to get married in five years. Because it says it right here in a framed picture. Or maybe it was laminated, but it was still... They're up there, and I didn't know if they were made to.

Do you remember any specific goals? I remember getting married in five years. They were definitely made to. No one's volunteering to do this. Oh, yes. The employees were told, you must do this wasn't an employee let's do it they put it on the wall that is a nightmare as a way to like to hold them to it yeah it's uh it's so weird it's is it a chain this place i looked it up i only found one other one in in north shore because i was like okay is this a christian, okay, is this a Christian chain?

Is this a cult or something? And I could only find that there's one other one in North Van. Do they have a different birthday song for when you get your free bagel on your birthday? Oh, I wish. We were talking about this very thing on the last episode, about five-year plans. Oh, yeah. And how, what a, like like what do you say are you you're supposed to lie and but also does anyone are you lying to yourself or does anyone have a

five-year plan for themselves that they are up to date on like day to day yeah exactly that's what five years were invented for there's a study that said that saying that you're going to do something chemically in your brain is the exact same as doing it. Like you get the same level of satisfaction from saying, I'm going to climb Mount Everest as actually climbing Mount Everest. Oh, yeah, totally. Oh, so you don't have to do it. Yeah, like your brain recognizes saying it in the same way as like, we have achieved that. Or like, I think we've experienced this in like sort of like creative people who are like, oh yeah, I have this great idea for a script.

I'm going to tell you everything about it. And then I'll never go to write it. Then I never have to write it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It was like, I have this great idea for a new joke I'm going to tell. Yeah. So this is, uh, in a weird weird way this bagel place is holding them hostage with their but it just opened so that it also literally just opened like maybe a month ago i like it it so this must have been something they had to say like in their job interview maybe maybe

that was part of the interview and they wrote it down and then be they're beholden to it put it on the wall even if you quit we'll keep this up yeah also you didn't get married it's so weird to read their like personal dreams while they're making my my sandwich does anybody there just dream of making you a sandwich i didn't read them all i got i felt weird yeah make five years worth of sandwiches i felt like they were they were watching me read their dreams, and I was like, oh, I shouldn't do this. Yeah, but they put them out there. Yeah, it is beside the condiments, so make yourself look busy and check it out. Yeah, but it's not like, you know, it's like if somebody is naked in front of a window in an apartment with the blinds up.

It is weird. Somebody sees. The passage of time. You can't not look. You can have a job for a long time and then like you have it for a year it's pretty much the same as having it for five years like you don't notice no yeah time slips away every day you're staring at your dream wall yeah like i had a uh a guitar teacher and i remember like my last lesson i had with him i

was like well i'm not coming in next week i'm going to college and he's like oh how long have you like i was really shy around the whole five years it's like well i'm not uh oh uh uh how long have you you come to me for lessons like oh five years and then just the look on his face. Has it been five years? And I think he moved the next week. He wasn't upset for you. He was upset for him. Yeah. It's just like he's looking back on it.

You're like, you grew a mustache in that time. Like, all the things. He's like, oh, yeah, wait. You used to be dropped off. Now you're driving or something. Yeah, exactly. I cut off my ponytail. That's him talking.

I never had a ponytail. But you went on to go in the hit band's felt. driving yourself yeah exactly i come off my ponytail that's him talking i didn't i never had a ponytail but you went on to go in the hit bands felt yeah i was in many hip bands okay yeah i was in the screaming eagles yeah those are the two well in high school i was in um the fattest baby in the world oh that's great name for a band that's a great name yeah um what did you do like smash Smash Mouth stuff? Yeah. Oh, every band I've ever been has been a Smash Mouth cover band. Do you know why?

Because somebody once told me. Dave, do you have an overheard? Well, I saw this girl. She was looking kind of dumb with a finger and a thumb in the shape of an L on her forehead. But you know how it is. The years start coming and they don't stop coming. Do the rules and keep the round. That's what your guitar teacher felt.

Rick, rick, rick. You never shine if you don't glow. Yep. Hey now. Mm-hmm. I was listening today to... Smashmo. Yeah.

Their first album. Well, their first album album in which I became aware of them Fushumang featuring Walking on the Sun yep do you know

that riff stolen it's it's stolen but like it's more of a you know

the sample from from the in sound from way out oh yeah the 60s electronic album hmm More of a sample. From? From the In Sound from Way Out. Oh, yeah. The 60s electronic album. Anyway, My Overseard is also an overseen. This one comes from television.

Man's best friend. There's a TV show called Airplane Repo. No, there isn't. Yeah, there is. Yeah, I think I flipped by it when I was on tour, yes. It's about these guys who repossess airplanes. Sure. They don't repossess stuff using an airplane.

No. They're like, oh, these people are behind on their airplane payments. We need to go to the airfield. Oh, boy. It's not like jets. It's like, well, maybe there's like Lear jets, but not like, they're not repossessing airplanes from like American Airlines. No. They're from private owners.

But are they not like crop dusters? It's not like a sat, are they? Is it like sad? Yeah, no, it would be crop dusters. It would be Cessnas. It's not going to be private jets. Anyone who owns a private, well. No.

I suppose they have bad times. There were like $300 be private jets. Anyone who owns a private, well. No. I suppose they have that time. There were like $300,000 jets. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, okay. Wow. And there was the one episode I saw, like they were at an air show, and they're like, oh, this is, it's so busy here. And then the airplane they were looking for, it showed up.

It flew in and was refuelinging it's an air show of course it's busy yeah people love that shit they do and um uh the pilots went to go have lunch uh and they were like hey do you mind if we look at your plane while you have lunch and they said yeah but don't touch anything the owners are pretty uh you know that we don't want to get in trouble with the owners and uh and so they went and kind of looked around a bit. And none of this is the overheard part. But then they, like, took the, you know, stopped refueling the plane, just got in. What? And just took off on the plane?

Just took off, but they were like, oh, no, the pilots are coming back, and we're still in line because of the air show. It's like we can't take off yet. It's my favorite show. Well, it sounds very like, how could there be that many airplane repossessions? But then I guess they come. Like if you're buying an airplane. Is there a boat repo show?

I don't know. Oh, there's got to be. Come on. Spin off. Spin off. Spin off. Anyway, but you know how when you're on TV, it has your name and it has your title? Yep.

Yours would be like, podcast host. Sure. Graham Clark, podcast host. Taz Van Rassel. Used to have a beard. Things like that. Podcast house. Taz Van Rassel.

Used to have a beard. Things like that. These were the titles of some of these guys repossessing planes. It would be like Clyde Johnson. Clyde Johnson. Repo Artist. No. And then another one was Airplane Liberator. Oh, so someone had to come up with different copy for every single person

have different ones wow airplane liberator i think is my favorite like because then it's really like like the airplane is is enslaved by these people who can't afford it you're like we abide by this airplane constitution yeah um wow what else was interviewing cessna freedom fighter yeah um i mean somebody's just gotta have just repo man like yeah at one point they would be like well we'll just use repo man for this guy repo artist um yeah yeah that's great no Nah. Airplane liberator? Yeah. Yeah. Those are both legit jobs to put on your tax return.

One of the episodes I saw, well, I only saw one episode, but one guy was repossessing an airplane, and then a lot of the stuff in the back of the airplane, I guess they steal the stuff in the airplane with the plane it is a lot like stealing at from airports which are the most highly secure places in the world uh but it was like oh he found a wedding cake in the back of his airplane well we better land and and give the wedding cake back to the people but still take the plane yeah so they're all cheering yay you brought us the cake hey where are you going their plane do they go to canada are they going to do the snowbirds yeah they're going to repossess our national uh stunt flight team uh wow so what what's your overheard my man uh mine was from a uh it was a combination overheard overse overseen. With a kid. You know how kids love going on the bus because they don't know that it's miserable? So they're having a great time.

My sister, it was her daughter's birthday. And for her birthday, she wanted to go to McDonald's on the bus. It's so easy. That's great. I know, but it's like we can go anywhere in a car. Yeah, yeah. But kids' cars are just as smooth. I want to make your life miserable.

We're going on a bus to McDonald's. We're going on like just a shitty just like a fantasy camp. Just like a person. Yeah. Um, so the, you know, this kid was just swinging around on the bus and just, this mom was just

like kind of half heart, you know, half hardly like, hold on, hold on to the thing, hold on to a bar. And he kept saying, no, it's fun. Because every time the bus would slam on, he'd kind of get jolted. He'd surf a bit. Yeah. Oh, yeah, bus surfing. Just after he said, no, it's fun,

really slammed on the brakes at an intersection, and he fell. And it was great. Did he break his arm? No, he just fell and just fell on the ground. And it was just, I don't know. I just really enjoyed the timing of it. I enjoy seeing a kid fall down, and I enjoy that it was when he was saying how much fun it was, and then it was instantly the opposite of fun.

So, I mean, except for me, that's when it started being fun, was as soon as the kid was on the ground. What bus are we talking here? We're talking about the number 8. And the stop was right at Main and Terminal, that's where he fell down. Yeah. It's great. Well, yeah, they're going to stop hard there. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Absolutely. It's a major stop. Yeah. Kids don't know, though. He was just going to McDonald's. It was his birthday. Yeah. That's the longest intersection in Vancouver, apparently.

What do you mean? The longest wait? It's the longest wait to get across. That's why all the squeegee kids are there. Ah. Wise. My dad told me that. He's a all the squeegee kids are there. Ah, wise. My dad told me that. He's a retired bus driver.

Oh, really? Yeah. A couple weeks on the show, I was talking about simple pleasures. Mm-hmm. Like, just really simple things that you either do or you witness that make you happy. Like a kid falling down yeah and the one example i had was i saw a guy taking off uh posters from a wall from a pole and he sliced them off and he he pulled off 360 degrees of posters all at once just in one pull and i saw it and i was like oh that's the greatest

but i was remembering another simple pleasure is when you're on the bus in the rain, and the windshield wipers don't go at the same rates, but then every few seconds they meet in the middle. Synchronized. Dave, you're really good at these simple pleasures. Yeah, it's satisfying. The poster thing, that's like taking all the skin off a mandarin orange. Yeah! All in one go. Oh, man!

And not an elephant. Oh, you nailed it oh not a not even an elephant no no just like just one go just getting it like at that perfect

amount of ripeness it's like this oh this is simple it's a simple pleasure yeah um now we also have overheards that have been sent in to us.

They do. And if you want to do the same, you can send them in to spy at maximumfun.org. The first one comes from Stacy W. And Stacy W., this is while waiting for a bus. It's going to be a man or a woman. Absolutely. Yeah. If you picture the woman, what does she look like?

Blonde. Polka dot dress. Polka dot dress. Absolutely. The man. The man version. Driving a T-Bird. Yeah.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Like a polka dot shirt. A real pretty blonde hair. Tight black jeans. Beauty boy. Yeah, I think we might name our baby Stacy Either way Yeah it's good you're covered Or Tracy

I think I just want to make it official now We're naming it Stacy Him or her Kelly Darcy These are all good possibilities Bruce What's the one that's like Darcy

Dancy Daisy Dane uh uh uh bruce what's the one that's like darcy dancy daisy dane dane dale dale um so while waiting for a bus last weekend a guy walked by and tossed a book on the bus bench i took a a picture of it and it's a pretty good picture it uh shows that this is the actually the name of the book. The book was called Sex for Pennies by Ann Saddens and had a great picture of three people entering into a threesome on the cover. Sex for Pennies is the name of the book. Do you have a picture on your phone? I do, but it is not showing up.

Is it spelled P-E-N-I-S? It's spelled like the currency. Oh, okay. Yeah. Because that's penis. Oh, sex for penis. Yeah. Like a guide.

Like an illustrated guide. Yeah, sex for members of the Pen15. So two of them are having sex so that they can get the penis of the other guy. Yeah. Yeah. It's like last one in is a rotten egg. Tag your man. It's like one of those ladder matches.

Girls like hearing that before sex, right? Last one in is a rotten egg. And tag your man. Sex 360. Sex 360. So this next one comes from sixth grade. This is a couple kids in sixth grade. Grade six?

What? This comes from California, so it's sixth grade. Oh, okay. Oh, they heard. This isn't from sixth graders. No, this is heard from, yes. Oh. One of the facts of life in sixth grade is that any variation from the regular course of events,

including having a substitute teacher for the day, is very, very exciting. True. Case in point, this morning a student ran up to me and informed me that our sub for Gomez has a mustache. That makes him even more special. Fact, right? Do you remember your first mustached teacher? I don't think I had a teacher who didn't have a mustache.

Really? It's like an adult with a beard. It's very similar. Yeah. I'm excited. It is true. Yeah, so these kids... I have a mustache now.

I should have fucking... Did you have a mustache? What were your substitute teacher adventures as a child? I don't think I remember much of them. I just remember being a jerk. I remember once someone had a plan that we should all have fake names. And then the first thing the teacher does is roll call. What was your fake name?

I didn't have one because... Sex pennies. Because all the names are on a list at the beginning of class. Yeah, well, switch your names. That makes sense. No, like, your name's Petunia. Your name's Petunia. I've told you that on multiple occasions, the different of the Hart brothers were substitutes.

Like Brett the Hitman Hart, Owen Hart. A different brother. Yeah, those different. Jim the Anvil. Night Hart. Jimmy the Mouth of the South. The people from Hart to Hart. Anne and Nancy Wilson yeah Mary Hart from entertainment tonight they're all different yeah the the other Hart

brothers that didn't get into wrestling were substitute teachers and they didn't take no shit from nobody if you s If you sass them off, which I did on a regular basis, they'd make you do push-ups in front of the whole class. And what I had in Jackassery, I lacked in upper body strength. So, boy, did they get me back into it. Well, I mean, push-ups work 16 different muscle groups. So, it's not just upper body. Yeah? Does it also work your quads?

Yeah, what's your quads? What's your... Your yeah what's your quats what's your uh your quats your quats what's the guy from um total recall your quaddos yeah it works your cranks your quaddos any parasite living in your body um what would they remember you the the heart brothers uh probably not i mean they but from visit to visit would they be like oh yes you're trouble because i uh anytime that i knew they were coming back the next day i would bring in uh like a heart figurine and put it on my desk like either a a rubber toy or whatever. I was really asking for it. Yeah, good for you, though. They must have kind of appreciated that.

Yeah, the one guy... Like later, when they're having a beer, they're like, who's fucking kidding me? Pretty good. Yeah, I would love it if someone brought in a figurine of my brother. Mark Schumacher. Oh, man, that would be the best. Mark Schumke.

Oh man, that would be the best. What kind of... What would he do if you pressed on a Mark Schumke toy? He'd have soccer playing action. Absolutely. Is your brother a professional soccer player? No. A very good amateur soccer player.

Oh, okay. Yeah, he's got soccer playing action. Weren't you listening. He played in the Final Four. Like single A? NCAA. Good. I don't know if that's a thing or what. The basketball... I know the basketball one.

The soccer equivalent of the basketball tournament. He really played in the Final Four? Yeah. Is it March Madness when it's soccer? I don't know what month it takes place in. Probably not March. He's super cold. Yeah. I don't know. It's outdoors. June Jubilance.

No, you don't play soccer in June. I mean, you don't go to university in June. No, that's true. Oh, man. I don't know anything about soccer or college. Or his brother. Well, yeah. We're all very proud of him. Absolutely. He's doing great. I don't know anything about soccer or college um this or his brother well yeah we're all very proud of him absolutely he's doing great i don't know ah you gotta meet him sometime yeah um i've got this toy of him maybe ryan can take him to a baseball game he'd like that yeah um this is a

person who was at a screening of uh the the person's name is justine s this person was at a screening of the movie saving mr banks with um tom hanks tom hanks matt damon is it matt damon yeah matt damon's private ryan i thought he played yeah okay wait tom hanks is in two saving movies yeah yeah wait a minute and he's also yeah he's also in that morris gump movie where he saves yeah he's in the whitney hughes story saving all my love for you um so this screening was specifically members of the uh writers guild so there's all people talking before the movie about their different screenplays they're working on. Oh, sure. So they don't have to actually write them.

Yeah. And this was the elevator pitch. Somebody behind them. A high school basketball female is enlisted by technological aliens to save their planet. Oh, what's the name of this movie? As yet to be named. Oh, we have to come up with a title. Teen Space Lady Jam? Yeah.

Space Lady Jam. Space Lady Jam. Space Lady Jam is pretty good. She's a teen. Yeah. Hmm. I was going to say the Hoops of Saturn, but that's not there. They're not hoops. They're rings. It's not bad, though. Shoot for the Moon?

God, these are great Isn't the galaxy the name of a women's basketball team? Yeah, the LA Galaxy There's something there Yeah, there's something there, guys With your brother Hoop Dunk

We're hooped Hoop dreams There you go, we got it, hoop dreams Space dunks Hoop. Dunk. We're hooped. Yeah. Hoop dreams. There you go. We got it. Hoop dreams. Space dunks. Space dunks is as good as it's going to get.

Yeah. Spot star. Oh, damn. Star dunks. Star three-pointers. In addition to overheards that are written in Star 3 point competition Craig Hodges We also accept your phone calls

Sorry Yeah what happened there I've got Part of this cold is I get stuck on Syllables If you want to call us our phone number is 206 339-8328. Like these people have.

Soccer playing action. Hey, Dave, Graham, and guests. This is Matt from San Francisco. I'm calling with an overheard. I was on my way home on a bus and I had my headphones on listening to your podcast and then I saw these old,

grungy, hippie dudes get on the bus, so I decided to put her on pause for a second just to see if I can catch something, and I'm glad I did. Right when I pressed pause, I heard one of the old hippie dudes say, Teresa, when she was tree-sitting, she threw a bucket of her own feces at the cops. That was really bad press for us. He proceeded to say,

if you ever want to get shot with rubber bullets by cops, an easy way is to throw shit at them. Yeah, that's your goal. That's probably an easier way. Tree sitting? Yeah, that was a weird turn of phrase. So is that where you sit

in a tree so that they don't chop it down i suppose or you chain yourself to it yeah okay or like that like the simpsons episode yeah but then throwing uh yeah throwing a bucket of shit at anybody particularly the cops i mean they're gonna hate that the most saving a bucket of shit the work that goes into it is not well admirable tree sitting what are you you're not just right like if there's gonna be a bucket and pulley system and okay do you know what i mean like the because you're up there oh you're in it you're in it you're in the tree win it yeah like you don't just go like i mean that would be defiling the very thing that you're trying to say that would be embarrassing to be like oh the tree got cut down where were you uh i i i had taco bell last night and you're not gonna bore a hole into the tree no i like the respect the tree

the environmental activist who sneaks out that's my one fatal flaw is i love taco bell unenvironmental about taco bell is there i don't know i guess there's nothing but they're not famous for being unenvironmental but that is a weird thing that people seem to reconcile um sort of like the the beauty of nature nature with keeping their body beautiful as well. Yeah. Like keeping their body pure and keeping nature pure. No one is. Like pro-environment and also eating so much fried chicken.

Yeah. Yeah. Like, oh, yeah, I think the world is beautiful. I think we need to protect it. But I'm all for these, you know. Huge multinationals. Yeah, GMO chicken. GMO?

HMO. Either way. Here's your next phone call. Now, you know my favorite kind of phone call. Can you tell me my favorite kind of phone call. Now, you know my favorite kind of phone call. Can you tell me my favorite kind of phone call? I know that you like the ones where somebody screws up and then hangs up.

Texts that are transferred. Well, those are great, too. That's only happened once, I think. Oh, really? But Graham nailed it. The kind that someone screws up and then they hang up because they didn't get their overheard out. Right.

Perfect. Hey, Dave Graham guest. This is Katie from Ohio. Call again with an overheard. Uh, this takes place at a, uh,

indie comics festival over the weekend. Uh, there was a guy who was running one of the booths. He's probably in his late fifties. And I overheard him, uh, say this, which was was I've

missed that. You're going to... Don't play this one. Don't play this. I'll make it. Oh, with specific orders not to play it. I promise I won't play it. Okay, here's the second half.

She calls back. Oh, yeah. Oh, good. I thought you just came up. Hey, here's the second half. Oh, she calls back. Oh, yeah. Oh, good. I thought you just gave up. Hey, Dave, Graham, and guest. This is Katie from Ohio calling in with an overheard. This takes place at an indie comics convention, a festival art show thing. Over the weekend, there was a guy running a booth a couple of tables down from me.

He was maybe in his late 50s. And I guess they were talking about television because I heard him say, I literally threw away my TV in 1983. When Twin Peaks started, I had another one. When Twin Peaks ended, I threw that one away, too.

So extreme. Yeah. Yep. Well, this is my favorite show's over. Goodbye. Throws it out the window. That used to be a thing over. Goodbye. Throws it out the window. That used to be a thing, I think, throwing a TV out the window. Now it wouldn't be as satisfying with a flat screen. In the 80s, Second City. Yeah.

Yeah. Like Motley Crue. Throwing a TV off of a balcony. It would have a real crunch to it. Yeah, but now a flat screen would just kind of shatter. Well, maybe it'd be fun. It'd still make a noise. It wouldn't have a real crunch to it. Yeah, but now a flat screen would just kind of shatter. Well, maybe it'd be fun. It'd still make a noise. It wouldn't have the same weight to it. Yeah, it would kind of sail down, whereas those old

TVs, they would hit. Right? Yeah. Well, they've got tubes. Have you ever smashed a TV with a hammer? Not easy. I have not, but I know Ryan did. When he was doing American Buffalo, and he had to do a big tantrum. Right. Where at the end he breaks up the pawn shop.

He smashed the TV when it was a little tube one and it started smoking. Yeah. And everyone got really nervous. This was the play. Yeah. Did he do it every time? No. They just had a bunch of junk.

Oh, okay. And a lot of it was like like, Duplo and, like, VHS tapes. Duplo, like, Lego? Like, the building blocks. Like, you just put a bunch of that shit, like, with books and, like, a bunch of debris, and you smash it. It kind of just, like, goes all over the place and makes noise. Right. But there was also a TV that apparently he smashed.

He also smashed the window at Little Mountain Gallery but when he smashed the TV it smokes and everyone got really nervous and then did they do a Q&A afterwards? what happened with the smoke? when you broke the TV did all the shows fall out?

how did you grow that beard? would you find all the little men inside the TV, did all the shows fall out? How did you grow that beard? Would you find all the little men inside the TV? Who play in all the TV shows? I'm telling all of Ryan's stories. That wasn't even there. Just third hand. But he knows all the baseball, the 17-year-old baseball players. Yeah.

You got some really good Ryan anecdotes. What's he like? We hang out a lot. Yeah. He's a good guy. Here is your final overheard of 2014. Hello, David and Graham. Dennis from Copenhagen in Denmark calling you with an overheard.

I'm in Berlin right now, which is fucking awesome, by the way. I'm also a little drunk, which is also fucking awesome. But anyway, earlier today, I'm walking around the city center in Berlin, and I spot this elderly couple on the road ahead. And I walk towards them, and just as I walk by, I notice how they look like they were having a heated argument. And as I passed, I just hear the man. He said in the most British accent that I've ever heard,

Well, everyone here is just a bloody German. I just thought that was pretty fucking funny. Anyway, love yourself. Oh, man. That guy's having a fucking awesome time. Yeah. Where was his accent from? I think Copenhagen.

Danish, yeah. Oh, man. What a fun accent he's got. This is a jovial man. I imagine that's what Santa sounds like. Yeah. A little bit. Like the real Santa.

I bet Santa drinks. Yeah, like Sinterklaasen. Oh, absolutely. Because lots of parents would leave out beers, right? Did your parents leave out beers? Yeah, my parents left out a beer. Santa wants a beer is what I recall my dad saying. He's driving.

No, the reindeer, they auto drive. They auto erotic drive. Yeah, that's why he needed Rudolph there there right because uh santa got too drunk just let me would you guide my sleigh tonight yeah yeah he's guiding it yep um now uh taz then all the reindeer loved him why would all the reindeer love them just because they got to stay employed they went down in history like columbus oh we had like well was it like columbus okay rudolph rednose reindeer reindeer very shiny nose like a light bulb and if you ever saw it saw it you would even say like a light bulb. Wait, what was shiny nose?

I don't know, but I would say like a light bulb for both. All the other reindeer used to laugh and call him names like Pinocchio. That's where Pinocchio was. There's more. They never let poor Rudolph join in any reindeer games like Monopoly. Like hoofball. And one foggy Christmas Eve, Santa came to say, ho, ho, ho. I don't remember that part.

Rudolph with your nose so bright, won't you guide my sleigh tonight at 12 o'clock? Then all the reindeer loved him, and they shouted out with glee Yippee! Yippee! Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer You'll go down in history Like Columbus! Like Columbus? I don't know! We used to sing

Like David Koresh In the Branch Davidian Well, that's way better for... Yeah Yeah It's still also very Ameri americentric yeah yeah and very 1992 centric yeah yeah but because they but rudolph uh the red-nosed reindeer and david koresh both wore those kind of uh eyeglasses that were sort of like sunglasses yeah grill creeps yeah

and they both thought they were jesus yeah that's the undertone of Rudolph, was that he thought he was Jesus. Yeah, he slept with all the female reindeer. Red nose, crown of thorns. Yeah, red nose, crown of thorns. Both mentioned in the song, clearly. Now, Taz, plugs-wise, give it up. Go for it. Hey, you want to learn how to do improv?

I teach it now. We got a school. The Sunday Service and Hip Bang have banded together, and we started a school called How to Talk Well. Sign up with me. It's called Blind Tiger Comedy, and you can find that at blindtigercomedy.ca. Don't go to.com. That's a

comedy basement in San Antonio. What's a comedy basement? I don't know. It's just another website that exists. Okay. We realized after the fact. I turn to Ray and ask, guys. I want to start a comedy basement. I guess we sort of have one. As far as I can tell, it looks

like a comedy show that happens in a basement of an amazing restaurant because I looked it up. It's called, like, the Magical Mystery Restaurant. It's a Beatles-themed restaurant? You can get served by Elvis or Woody from Toy Story

or a bunch of stuff. What? I am not plugging my shit very well at all. I'm just plugging their place. Why are those two guys working in the same restaurant? They hate each other.

As far as I can tell. It looks really cool. Because I was looking up how legit this place was, and if we were going to get in trouble for having the same name, and then I was like, this restaurant looks amazing, and I believe they're doing a comedy show in the basement. But anyways, if you want to learn how to do improv, check out... BlindTigercomedy.ca blindtigercomedy.ca

And you can check that out. I'll be starting a new class in April. I think it's sold out. But anyways, that's going to be happening ongoing. Graham and I are doing a podcasting class. Do you want to? We'll sign you up. No, we don't. We're busy. You can teach that, right? Very busy.

It's like stand-up. You can teach how to podcast. Yeah, sure. Just think of a thing every week and have someone funny say something around it. Picture yourself as either an Elvis or a Woody. April 6th, we'll be moving to the

Fox Cabaret, the Sunday Service. Your weekly improv show, the finest improv show in town. Correct. Yes. Undisputed champs. Sure. Disputed. Yeah.

We're still fighting. And yeah, Rap Battles happens once a month. The last Saturday of every month at Little Mountain Gallery. Get there early. It sells out every time an hour in advance. It does. You've got a lot of stuff going on. A lot of hops in the hopper.

Yeah, this is all I do. Yeah, good. Is this a career? I don't do a real job or anything. Yeah, nor should you. You're doing great Keep it up Thank you

I watched Sleepy Hollow yesterday during the day Well, you know, maybe not as much that Maybe turn that down a bit I got a lot of free time in the day Yeah, and then at night, less so Yeah Or is Sleepy Hollow too scary to watch at night? Oh, it is

Yeah, I gotcha Well, thanks for being our. Yeah, I gotcha. Well, thanks for being our guest. Yeah, thanks for having me. Dave, do we have to plug anything? Just check out MaximumFun.org. I'm making a face. I'm just sort of sleepy. You're a cool, sleepy guy.

If you like the show... Oh, wait. MaximumFun.org recaps of the episode yes featuring what will we feature on today's episode uh certainly um i want to see a picture of like a boglin or some of those 19 slime stuff yeah that's a great that's a great suggestion i'd like to see the video of a man versus animal that we didn't talk about on the air. It was off of the air. Really? Yeah.

Maybe that Airplane Repo show? Oh, yeah, yeah. My new favorite show. Graham's got a weekly show every Monday. Yeah, at the Havana Theater called the Laugh Gallery. Yeah. That's at Laugh Mountain, right? Yeah, it's at Little Laugh Mountain.

that's a laugh mountain right yeah it's a little laugh mountain um and uh if you want to get in touch with the show it's uh spy at maximumfund.org or 206-339-8328 and if you like the show tell your friends and come on back next week for another episode of stop podcasting yourself MaximumFun.org Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Listener supported.