Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 319 - Amanda Brooke Perrin

Episode Date: April 28, 2014

Amanda Brooke Perrin returns to talk vermin, classic rock, and underwear.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 319 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who's so excited that tomorrow is 420, right? We're gonna go and then 421 is the next day. That's gotta be some other police code that we can celebrate. It's Hitler Boxing Day.

When you dress up like Hitler and you box a kangaroo. It's a tradition in Canada that we've had ever since we won the war. Mr. Dave Shumka. Hi. We're recording this a week before its release.

So if you're confused why you missed 420 this weekend, I guess you're a pretty big drug head. Yeah, exactly. Because you really get into 420 in a big way. Yeah, I'm super stoked about it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. On account of, is that the terminology? I'm stoked? No, you're super rad.

Oh, I'm rad for it. Yeah, you're super rad about it. I'm going to be so rad, I'm going to do drugs. You're going to do so many weeds. And I'm going to get the monkeys. The Edvard monkeys. And our guest today, returning guest, hilarious comedian, actress, lovely lady, Miss Amanda Brooke Perrin.

I'm so rad right now. No, no. I've never done drugs is that how you sound when you do them that's how you sound i mean have you ever had alcohol alcohol's a drug yeah caffeine's a drug yeah endorphins that's the natural drug i guess. He's the... Christ is my number one drug. I guess I do do drugs. Let's get to know us. Now, Amanda, is that true? You've never done drugs?

No, I have. But I feel like... That took no time at all uh twist my arm um i yeah but i feel i i don't do them now because i'm not cool enough to do them how do you figure that people who do drugs as adults are cool this is a real thing this is a real story i was in a marijuana circle you know like it from that 70s show or whatever so there's a rotating camera there are errol morris yeah the uh do you know errol was it errol morris he directed all those uh scenes from uh is it errol morris the documentary yeah but he has uh in all of his documentary films, he has, this bit would have been gold if I knew the reference.

But did he do the Fog of War? Mm-hmm. They have a, the camera is behind a screen. Right. It's like a teleprompter, but the interviewer and, uh, the interviewer's face is on the screen. So it's like when you're being interviewed, you're looking into the camera, but you're looking into the,

the interviewer's eyes. Oh, wow. And that's, uh, he, he, and that's why they did that for that 70.

So you were in, I understand some kind of drug circle, a drug circle, a drug ring. It was a drug ring, Lord of the drug circle. In a drug circle. A drug ring, they would call it. It was a drug ring. Lord of the drug ring. And Frodo Baggins offered me.

No, another comedian. A dime Baggins. They were like, hey, you want to get in this? And so a comedian was handing me a joint. And I was like, oh, it's okay. I'm okay. And then he said, said what you don't party and i've never heard someone so confident and awesome and then i felt like i was just like a

grandma at a party sunglasses he should have been in this nighttime the only time to do drugs 4 20 at night um so did you do the drug no i i because you that's when you is that when you realize you weren't cool enough yeah and like i fall asleep when i smoke it so it's just pointless for me graham and i smoke it every day yeah crack cocaine we have um a couple's uh drug pipe yeah are you going on a vacation tomorrow then yeah a 420 A 420 vacation? Yeah, I'm going. Just, you know, I'm going to open up my mind. We're cruising for bruising. You're going to go to the beach starring Leonardo DiCaprio?

Yep. Yeah, we're getting good. Oh, and the beautiful Virginie Le Doyen. Oh, she's so pretty. Yeah, but then you don't... Marijuana isn't the only drug. You could take one that boosts you up. You pills. That's what I thought.

Like if someone says, hey, do you party? I assume that means cocaine. Yeah. It was a joint though. Unless it was like another drug in a fun cigarette shape. Yeah, yeah. They do that. I don't know drugs.

I like tea a lot though. Tea and naps. What about you guys? So does tea also put you to sleep? Tea. Oh, get some chamomile in this bitch. And I'm like a light. Wait, are you the bitch?

I'm the bitch in that scenario. Feminism. Okay, I'm sorry. Do you apologize? Chamomile, is that caffeine free? Chamomile, yeah. Yeah, it? Chamomile, yeah, yeah. It's caffeine-free, made out of flowers. Yeah.

It's delightful. It tastes really good. Is that the one with the bear in a nightcap? Sleepy time bear, yes. Yeah. Yeah. Would you ever sit in like a tea circle? Is that how that works?

Pass a cup of tea around? Hey, what's up? Do you nap? Yeah. I feel like circles feel illegal so maybe not like if there was a like a circle of people doing something it's usually no good what about drum circles that's yeah that's the worst kind of drug in uh toronto they have a lot of those in the summer. Drum circles. Yeah, not here. No, yeah.

Luckily, Vancouver has avoided that. Oh, God. You probably have so many. Yes, of course. It's on our city's crest. It's a big circle of drums. Is this Matthew McConaughey and a bongo? Oh, man.

Does Matthew McConaughey and Jack Johnson, did they ever... Kiss? Do it? Yeah. Seems like they would run in the same circles. Yeah, I think they would. Who do you think of those guys would make a better, like, pancake breakfast? Oh, well, Jack Johnson.

Jack Johnson. Banana pancakes. For sure. How do you know that he was writing that about his own banana pancakes and not Matthew McConaughey's? Well, I've never heard the song. Matthew McConaughey would use, like, flax seeds to make his pancakes. I don't think Matthew McConaughey's. Well, I've never heard the song. Matthew McConaughey would use, like, flax seeds to make his pancakes. I don't think Matthew McConaughey makes his own.

Like, I think Matthew McConaughey maybe got successful so young that he never needed to learn. No, he probably makes pancakes for his kids. Now what you gotta do is... Like, is that your Matthew McConaughey impression? No, is that your Matthew McConaughey impression? Yeah, did you accuse me of...

I tried to blame someone else because I was scared. Now you've got to do this. You've got to do this. Is it Phil Cosby impression? We've got to have some banana pancakes. I'm Matthew McConaughey. We're eating banana pancakes. The front row at the Los Angeles Lakers game.

Wait till they get a load of these beautiful toys. Enema. I'm my own hero. Do you remember? Did you see his speech? I didn't get what was the problem with it. I sort of zoned out. He just, he thanked himself.

He thanked himself in the future. Yeah. Future self. And then future self appeared behind him wearing a metal hat. It was a hologram. You're welcome. Yeah. So tell us, Amanda, what's going on?

What's new? What's happened to you since last we spoke? Yeah. So tell us, Amanda, what's going on? What's new? What's happened to you since last we spoke? Yeah, you've been on once here and once live in Calgary at our soberest episode ever. The weirdest bar. People kept sending up tea shots. Yeah, we had so many shots of rooibos. We got so sleepy that night. Oh, gosh.

What has happened? I'm here doing shows. Yeah. The comedy mix, which is nice. And I've been writing for television, which is exciting. Tell us about it. Oh, okay. which is exciting.

Tell us about it. Oh, okay. Okay. Time to back up that claim about how exciting it is. Good follow-up question, too. Thank you, thank you. She didn't see that curveball at all. I did.

I don't know why I said that and then didn't expect you to say something about it. Fair, fair. It's great. Okay. And, no, it's great okay uh and no it's it's lovely i'm you also act i act you write what have you written for i wrote people who are like oh okay i'm satisfied she said it's great i just assume people go to imdb immediately when they um i know i wrote for a show called mother up which is an animated show

starring evil on gorya so that was fun making her say things and did you ever meet her no no no how hard would it be for you to get assigned eight by ten i feel like i'd have to do it just like a regular fan does. Have no connection to Eva Longoria. Yeah, no, I wouldn't be able to. So that's not one of the perks of show business. No, absolutely not. She didn't come down and meet the people who wrote the scripts. No. She didn't get on a Skype call and say, hey.

Hey, guys, I'm just making some banana pancakes here. I'm going to mail you some. I should do more Skyping in the nude, but in the kitchen. I feel like I have a... It's got a good activity buzz around it. Yeah, you're just stirring a thing at all times. Because any Skype call I've ever had, it's either I'm sitting in an office chair or I'm on a couch.

I'm never multitasking. That's because Skype freezes every two seconds. Well, I mean, you know. Uh-oh, Skype on blast. Yeah, this episode's sponsored by Skype. Oh my god, oh no. My parts will be muted. It's fine. So you wrote for this show.

What else did you write for? Spun Out. Well, I just did punch up writing for a few days, which was cool. And then I wrote for the George Trompe-l'oeil list tonight for a week as like a guest writer. And how was that? It was fun. Did you get to meet him? Yeah, yeah.

Eight by ten? Yeah, eight by ten for shiz. Yeah, he's a lovely gentleman. Raw vegan. Couldn't do that. He is a raw vegan? Yeah. Is that new?

I don't think so. Because he looks skinnier now. For any Americans listening, George Strombolopoulos is a TV host. Who's now? He hosted a show for 10 years i just yeah yeah it didn't seem that long um it really whipped by when you're having a good time it just whips by on the canadian broadcasting corporation that was sort of a it was an in-studio talk show not a comedy show although they tried tried. He bought it with them. And then now he's going to be a hockey commentator.

Yeah. That's fine. That's how Canada works. Mostly in Canada, to be a hockey commentator, you've got to be a raw vegan. Mostly. They either get former hockey players or the handsomest raw vegans on television. And you act in things, in commercials and televisions? We were talking upstairs that you mostly, if there's any commercial in Canada that has a flustered woman in an office, you're that woman. I'm the go-to.

Or if you need someone to like be unmotivated or have no confidence get this guy on the phone because i will be there you're this guy now i'm this guy oh i refer to myself as a guy i've never seen you in a commercial where you played the unmotivated person i know i'm sure you must have, but I've never seen it. I've seen you in the office, maybe eating Skittles? I don't remember that commercial, Graham, but I was in a fruit commercial, ate a lot of grapefruit. You actually eat the grapefruit in the commercial? Are you a raw vegan? I'm a raw vegan.

fruit yeah okay are you a raw vegan i'm a robbie no um i i did a uh kit kat commercial and there so at the end we take a bite of it and apparently there's a thing called a spit bucket which i didn't have at all can you explain what that is i can't imagine what uh show business terms are very is it a bucket of spit that you drink yeah yes uh you take it in between each take and it gives you the strength of each take. And it gives you the strength of everybody who's fat. It gives you the confidence to go on.

And so we would take, myself and the other person in the commercial, we'd take a bite and then he, but he wasn't using the spit bucket so I didn't want to

like hold up production so I just kept swallowing after every take. And that's what he was doing? And he was doing that too. And by the end of it we had taken 48 bites of a chocolate bar. And I felt so sick. Sounds like a Friday night.

Yeah. Regular. I mean, I can usually eat a Kit Kat in... 48 bites? I can eat 10 of those in sound bites. I would guess, what, there's four segments? Yeah. Each segment, two bites. Each segment, 10 bites. Oh, 10, 12 bites. I would guess, what are those? Four segments. Yeah. Each segment, two bites.

Each segment, 10 bites. 10, 12 bites. I can eat. Yeah. I would have. And usually I would eat like 100 Kit Kats a night. Yeah. So.

Yeah, no. Because you're a raw vegan, right? Yeah. That's what raw vegan is. Every time you say that, I think you're saying Ravi. Like Ravi Shankar? Yeah. Raw vegan.

So did you learn your lesson or no? You went on to another commercial where you were eating grapefruit and ate a bunch of grapefruit? Yeah. Really? I'm too scared to ask for extra things. Hey, where do I spit? In the back of your mouth and then into your stomach. Yeah, reverse spit.

I felt too bad asking for stuff. Badass? Yeah. I felt too badass. I felt too badass. Me and Robbie, we're a couple of badasses. So, tell us more. Tell us more about what's going on.

Tell us things. Absolutely. I live in a basement. Okay. Alright. This must be fun for you. You're in a different basement right now. I know I'm in a different basement. This one's nicer, actually. We have an ant problem. Okay. So that's

an exciting part. And then I have mice in my vents above my bed. So I guess. Why are you trying to get out of Toronto? I don't understand. I don't know what to do. Help me. I had ants last year. What did you do?

But they were in your pants. They were in my pants. But I love to dance. That's true. What we did was vinegar, because they follow a scent trail. Yeah. So wherever ants have been walking or marching, as Dave Matthews would say, maybe they're under the table and dreaming and you just wipe that down with vinegar i tried that try it again no um because i've tried everything have you tried

pouring hot water on the anthill i tried that's there's no hill it's i think it's coming from under the fridge um just pour hot water under the fridge so So I tried the hot water. I tried the vinegar. I tried, apparently, ants don't like the smell of lemon. Who knew that ants had noses? Not I. I mean, I guess it's the same as the vinegar. Yeah. And they don't have noses.

They got these antenna things. Antennae. Antennae. And then I finally just got raid and shouted a lot. See you in hell! That's what I was saying. I did it. And then we have mice.

And we, like, I've been, you use steel wool. If there's any sort of, like, areas where the baseboards or there's any holes in the wall, you can shove steel wool in there and then caulk. She just barked. I think Dave just puked on his microphone. I was trying to say C-A-U-L-K. Caulk? Caulk? And then I said it wrong.

I got shy. You barked because you were nervous. I barked because I tasted shy. You barfed because you were nervous. I barfed because I tasted it. But then you cock it up. And it was working for a few days, but then the mice are still getting in somehow. So I'm going to have to get mouse traps. I know exactly where they're going. I'm just going to have to deal with dead bodies.

Are you scared of seeing the dead bodies? Yeah yeah what if it turns out it was like a human a human in the trap that leaves tiny little yeah yeah like he's been setting up a mouse but really you've got a human that's like an x-files episode it's like that video remember there was a video of a guy that like he set, he thought somebody was stealing cookies? Yeah, or something. And then it turns out there was somebody living in the cabinetry in this house, right? I remember that. That was terrifying.

No, I don't know that. I'm just saying. Well, just open up all your cabinets before you go to bed. Just knock on everything and see if somebody goes, hello. And if they do, get out. Get out. That would be so pleasant though hello hello mice i don't know i don't know how well because you like people just say oh you'll never get rid of mice but i don't want you don't want to surrender like i yeah i i mean basically i want to stop them from being able to come into the house, but I guess that's impossible.

This is a hundred-year-old house. There's a million places. Yeah, you'd have to seal up, like, every single crack and crevice. And so, yeah, if you live in a city, you're going to, there will be mice somewhere. Does part of you hope it's Muffy from today's special? Every time I'm on the show, I say too many Canadian things. I'm so sorry. I don't even know what that is.

Is it a TV show? TV show for children. For children. It was a mouse. It was a mannequin who came to life. Yeah. The mouse had a wig, I think. It had like a blonde wig.

I do know it. I've never seen it, but I know it from the show. She only spoke in rooms. Did she? Yeah. What? You're the one who brought it up. I know, but I know it. She only spoke in rooms. Did she? Yeah. What? You're the one who brought it up. I know, but I don't remember.

I remember the janitor who was terrifying. He wasn't a janitor. He was a security guard. Oh, yeah. Same thing. He played by Ringo Starr. Whoa. Miss Up in the Clouds over here.

Same thing. You know, garbage people. They're bringing me my spit bucket you know the lowers you guys know i'd be too scared to ask for a spit bucket from a janitor um why are you spitting in my mop bucket yeah and i'm a security guard you know people who deal with those type of things. I don't talk to those types. People with keys. Yeah, he was a security guard.

And then Jodi, I guess, she was the lady. She worked on The Night Shift. Yeah. And The Mannequin came to life. So it was the movie Mannequin for kids with vermin. Yeah, with starring vermin, co-starring vermin, rhyming vermin. Yeah. With starring vermin. Co-starring vermin. Rhyming vermin. And this was... So it was basically Ratatouille meets mannequin.

Meets that movie about security guards. Paul Blart. Paul Blart. Malacca. Yeah. But yeah, you know, it's... Yeah, so yes, he does hope that it's that mouse. I didn't answer your question.

We also had raccoons in our shed out back. I'm so scared of raccoons. They were territorial. Yeah, did they hiss at you? Yeah, but I didn't notice them at first. I was just, you know, in the shed getting getting stuff and then there's an area above and there were two of them up there

and we didn't know how long they had been living there and maybe they were about to have kids because this was like a month ago spring's coming

yeah and a young raccoon's fancy turns to love oh my goodness and I looked at they might have had kids yeah

you're like they were like Jesus and you turned them away from the barn or whatever. Well, that's more of a winter story. Happy birthday, Jesus, by the way, or whatever you're telling me. Hey, can we have a baby in a barn? No.

No. Manger. Yeah. No barn. Manger. But apparently, to get rid of raccoons, you just leave a radio on. What? Really?

Yeah. And they'll just move on. They don't like Miley Cyrus. They don't like Top 40. They don't like to party. Talk radio was what the City of Vancouver website suggested. What? And keep a light on.

Yeah, because then they think, more advice shows. Raccoons can't relate to a call a call-in doctor show oh yeah what what happens on talk radio i don't know i only know from the show frazier what happens at a talk radio station i used to listen there was one well my mom always listened to uh 1410 c fun or yeah 1410 c fun sure that had uh dr laura um now go take on the day yeah i am my kid's mom she's a did you ever listen to that no um no do you know what it is no i know kind of know it's like an advice thing yeah and then people call in and say hey um my husband is being weird and she she's like, kill him. Murder him in his sleep.

What would your question be if you called in? Dr. Laura? Yeah. Like, why? How are you still on the air? Yeah, why should I take advice from somebody who's like a foot doctor or whatever she is? Yeah, she's a doctor. Like, she had a BA in physiology or something. Yeah, like, she's not a psychiatrist

but she doles out uh like advice did she have a calming voice uh no no she's kind of shrill and like but her whole thing her whole thing was uh stay-at-home moms that are or my i am my mom's i am my kid's mom yeah my kid's mom that's right that's my mom's. I am my kid's mom. Yeah, I am my kid's mom. That's right. I am my mom's friend. And so people would call in and that's how they would present themselves. They'd be like, hi, Dr. Laura. I have a problem. I am my kid's mom. What?

Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it was all stuff like, yeah, my husband thinks it's okay to cheat on me. What do you think? Dave keeps touching my feet and it's making me weird. Guys, keep your feet on your own sides of the table. You over there and you over there. It was an accident.

Or was it? Don't ignore these signals. I'm Dr. Lohr. Take on the tape. And the other thing was, well, what I put on, the other kind of talk radio is sports radio. Oh, yeah. Where it is just like, hey, there's a game tonight. Here is 21 hours of pregame.

Yeah. Any local idiots who want to weigh in on sports Yeah, exactly We'll have 10 minutes with an expert And then 50 with Some guy with nothing better to do A lot of cab drivers in Toronto Listen to talk radio, I found

But like Is it sports talk radio? Or is it just talk talk radio? No, it's just talk radio Like this Rob Ford We gotta get him back into office. The last one I heard was they were talking about how soon is too soon to sleep with a person after however many dates. After a coma. And what did they say?

When you wake up, get back in the saddle. Right away. What did they say? you wake up get back in the saddle right away what did they say how many dates um people were calling in some guys were like um i almost did a southern accent for no reason no please i'm gonna do it anyway here we go yeah i just think that like you should just like wait save the romance for later. Just save yourself. Wait a few dates, okay? You don't just have to go on and rush in. That's the romance? Let's have sex now and save the romance for later.

And then the girls will call in and be like, I don't know. I just feel like you should just be able to do it. Just like, whatever. Just like, whatever. Just like, whatever. Just go for it. Just go for it. Yeah.

Absolutely. Has anyone ever solved anything on talk radio? Yeah, I solved that one problem. That Scooby-Doo mystery. Yeah. And I helped that one woman reconcile with her sister. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

You hosted a talk radio show? Yep. It was in the mold of dr laura it was basically dr laura's show i just would listen to her show the day before and no matter what the problem was i just quote whatever she said to uh just if they did a talk radio show that was a hostage negotiator oh and every episode someone calls in with a bunch of hostages like hey i'm, I'm going to... That would be pretty compelling.

Yeah. Yeah. That's pretty good. I would be... After like three episodes, people would be like, how does... It seems like there's more hostage situations than usual now. And also they'd be like, you're not a doctor of hostage situations. You're a foot doctor.

You didn't actually graduate from any hostage negotiation school. Now, let go of those hostages. That's his catchphrase. Now, let him go. I am my captor's son. I would listen to that. Yeah. For sure.

What do you listen to? What is an Amanda Brooke parent? You're at the office. You're working away. You're eating a Kit Kat. You're spitting in a bucket. I'm spitting in a bucket. Always, because that's on my terms.

I listen to Stop Podcasting or something. That's a real thing. Love the show. And, oh, man, do you know what I've been listening to nonstop? The Inside Llewyn Davis soundtrack. Okay. So this is folk music. I like folk music. And Justin Timberlake.

Yeah, sure. Why not? A little JT? A little, uh, I don't know. Does he beatbox at any point? It sounds like you're eating garbage. You like folk music or you just like that one soundtrack? I like folk music. I like the sound of nature if it were singing. Like Huxley Workman.

I listen to his podcast with you guys, and he literally sounds like a tree if it could talk. He does kind of. A tree that always thinks it's getting political. Yeah. I don't want to get political here. Trees would be the most political. But who's controlling the flow of sap here, guys?

Follow the honey. Yeah, you gotta follow... Wait. Trees and honey. Well, I guess. You know what? It was good. It was good.

You're right. What is... Like, do you play any instruments do you say i bought a ukulele but i've the only thing i don't even want to tell you what i can play on yes please is it uh that's it how did you know um don't be so quick to okay it might be what is it j? Jason Mraz, I'm yours. I just play it over and over again. Do you sing? Oh, God, no. That would be a tragedy.

Why? To who? Myself and anyone around me. Do you not have a good voice? It seems like you'd have a pretty good voice. We have a ukulele here. Play. Oh, perfect.

Wink, wink, wink, wink, wink, wink, wink, wink, wink, wink, wink, wink, wink, wink, wink, wink. Wait, no. Put on this jason moraz hat that's what i basically ukulele right yeah yeah that's all i can play i know i used to play the trumpet and i did a solo in band class and my teacher when i finished it was dead silent and then were you supposed to have done it so yes yes because i had to like prove myself or whatever and then so the teacher it was like a test or something and then i did it it was completely silent and then my teacher said that was sad and then i cried in a bathroom stall that's a real story did you cry with your trumpet yeah and i was still playing it yeah it was just the one note that i knew that's a bad solo what was the uh what was the song unless it was the solo to Cinnamon Girl by Neil Young.

One note guitar solo. What song was it? Do you remember? Oh, that song, Mr. Bean. That's a real, or Mr. B or something. I don't know. It was a school classic. Okay.

It was bad. It was not good. Did you take band all the way through school? Well, you had to take it at some point. I don't know why I chose the trumpet. You didn't have braces at the time, probably. No, you're right. That's why.

You weren't allowed to pick any brass instrument if you had braces because you couldn't get the right... Tooth flow. Yeah. Your tooth flow is all effed up. Did you guys play instruments? Yep. Clarinet. What?

Yeah. Oh, my God. Do you want play instruments? Yep. Clarinet. What? Yeah. Oh my God. Do you want to start a band? No. Yeah. I mean, yes and no. Okay. You know, there's parts of me that does.

I feel like I haven't sold myself to you completely. Do you have a trumpet? No, but I got a heart of gold. You know what? I trust her. It sounds like a good band. I know you're hesitant yeah I am hesitant at this point because we don't have a lot of

well I'd have to get you to play a solo gong gong gong on her dumb heart just hit it with a mallet yeah did you play in band? well no I played in orchestra in elementary school i played cello what really i played private i had private lessons what and then also school wow uh that's

very difficult pardon are you benjamin button why were you just like a tiny old man playing the cello no i hated it my parents forced me to did you put like cool stickers on your chest yeah i uh all like yo-yo ma yeah the zero other cello players you can name like a fancy chester uh yeah annette funicello michelle and degeo cello and then just that take me to your dealer dealer alien yeah uh and well Dealer alien. Yeah. And, well, because my siblings played piano. And we had piano, a piano in the house. Maybe two. And then... You don't know how many pianos you had?

There might have been two pianos. Well, there were... My parents have had, I think in my lifetime, three pianos. What? And maybe two were at the same time. They only have one now. But yeah, but like I, it seems like I probably should have just taken piano because that is a, anywhere you go, you can, oh, there's a piano here. Hey, Dave, play Imagine again.

It's very rare that you would sit down and there'd just be a cello. Yeah. I feel like those kids in Back to the Future when Michael J. Fox was like, yeah, we had two televisions. And they were like, what? We only have one. He must be rich, but with pianos. Yeah. That's crazy.

Two or three pianos? Did you sleep on a piano? No, like you get rid of a piano and get a new piano. Oh, we're going to get a new piano. What do we do with this piano? Put it in the basement. Yeah. And then give it. it in the basement. Yeah. And then give it.

With all the other garbage instruments. Dave's old cello. My brother has that one now, and his kids are learning on it. The basement piano. Cello is giant for a kid. They have different size cellos. Ah, they have kid cellos. Yeah.

Oh, I had cute baby cellos. Would it be cool if an adult played a kid cello uh it would be like a violin yeah a violin with a thing that pokes you in the neck what's the i don't uh like that's you have to sit you kind of have to like be on the cello very masculine yeah yes indeed it's like you're on the you're're on a small man's back, right? Like you kind of have to put your legs around it. Sort of. No, you just sort of let it rest on you. Oh, it leans on you.

You're the man and it's the cello. Yeah. Do you guys ever switch? Sometimes. Yeah, sometimes I would let it play me. I would rosin it up. Oh, man. So do you play in instruments now

no no you don't sing well you still dance you sing miraz yeah I sing miraz I actually won a karaoke contest

in high school what did you sing I will survive by Aretha Franklin oh okay Gloria Gaynor yeah Gloria I mean I did Aretha Franklin. Oh, okay. Gloria Gaynor. Yeah, Gloria Gaynor. I mean, I did Aretha Franklin's version.

You did a cover of a cover. I did a cover of a cover. Okay. And what did you win for that? I think tickets to a movie. The Gloria Gaynor story. Starring Aretha Franklin as Roberta Flack. Oh, man.

Dave, what's going on with you, man? Not a heck of a lot. But speaking of the radio, Abby and I do this thing when we are driving together. I have like, you know, driving with me is great. I have four jokes. Yeah. If I'm ever driving anyone anywhere i will uh stop very far away from where you're going and say uh oh i'm just gonna let you out here yeah like miles from

where you're going very funny uh the other one i do is um if ever i'm driving really fast and like the engine makes a big noise i'll say you something? Because this car fucking cooks. And then the third thing is whenever Abby and I get somewhere and we're like, say we're going to the grocery store and she starts getting out, I pretend that I'm going to stay in the car and I say, I would like So these are fun things I do when I drive with someone, usually Abby. But now Abby and I have this new game we're doing where we go through all the radio stations.

And if we don't like what we hear, the last station we get to is the classic Rock Station. Yeah. And before we get to that station, we will guess what band is playing on the Classic Rock Station. And usually it's ACDC. Okay. So you're not allowed to guess ACDC. Why? So that's like a free,

like it's on a bingo card? Well, it's sort of like Abby versus me versus ACDC. And we're losing. Yeah, I don't know who I'd bank on in that fight. And we've played this game, oh, a hundred times. And we've gotten it right twice. Where did you get it right? I once got it right with Tom Petty.

And then the other day, we were driving. And I said to Abby, okay, what's going to be on the Classic Rock Station? And we were looking around for stuff. Yeah. Glovebox. Glovebox 7. Yeah. Because it's like, the only classic rock bands that you can think about, or that you can sort of spot when you're driving, are cars. The cars. Yeah. the cars yeah oh yeah yeah um and then we're like uh light bulbs uh the poles uh yeah yeah red light green light

but then i was there was a um uh first nations fellow is that the is that what is that the appropriate term yes as far as I know yeah yes and he was running and it reminded me of

the movie the doors and so I was like because Jim Morrison goes has a weird dream

well no I've only ever seen Wayne's World 2. There you go. And so my guess was The Doors. And that was wrong. But then the next day we did it again. And we were looking around and Abby saw some doors on some houses.

And she guessed The Doors and it was The Doors. It's all about timing. The Doors, they're not uh good no right that's a weird thing that's a that's kind of one of those things you think in high school that the doors are great and then somebody somebody tells you like oh no they're not and then you go back and you listen and you go oh wait a minute like but if somebody told me like no the rolling stones aren't good i'd go back and be listen and you go, oh, wait a minute. But if somebody told me, no, the Rolling Stones aren't good, I'd go back and be like, no, no, that person was wrong. But The Doors, it's easily confirmed that they're not great, right? Yeah, I think it's probably like the popular songs of theirs are fine.

But once you start digging in, you're like, oh, there's a lot of jamming out on that organ. You're gonna get so much hate mail. That's fine. From who? The Lizard Heads? Is that what they're called? Yeah, from the Manzarek Heads. Yeah, I'm not scared. I'm not scared. The Smashing Dipshits. Now who's gonna get mail?

Oh no. The Smashing Dipshits. Was that the name of the Doors fan club? Or is that a new band? It's a new band. Trumpeted clarinet duo. Yeah. And cello.

Oh, yeah. Oh, are you in the trio? I wasn't invited. Yeah, you're invited. I can play the heart of gold. You're always invited. I can't wait to start this journey with you guys. Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

And I can't wait until the journey's over. So quick. If you see a young kid, it can be Neil Young. Alright. Alright, yeah. Because we play this game in the car all the time. And whenever it's time to play it, we can never come up with anything. Yeah, Journey's a good bet that they'd be playing.

Or Chicago. If you see someone believe in, I guess you could just say that one. If you see a Chicago deep dish pizza. Yeah. Or Boston pizza. They also play a lot of Canadian classic rock, which is harder to remember. Like Tom Cochran. There's Tom Cochran.

Ryan Adams. Life is a Highway. My dad used to listen to that song all of the time if you see someone when when we were driving on the highway oh okay be like it it's time get it i didn't know tom cochran wasn't a cool reference for the longest time like what do you mean like i i think i put life is the Highway on a playlist one time. I learned it on ukulele. That was the first time I learned on the uke. Shredding the uke with Tom Cochran. Well, my.

Oh, by the way, if you're driving around and you see someone with a cock ring, then you're like, oh, Tom Cochran. And he's riding a red thing. Red rider. Dick Dale and the Deltons. I think I've told this story on the podcast before. Because I was... Before, like, in elementary school, I was reasonably cool. Like, I was in the group of... Well, you were playing that cello.

Yeah, I was in the group of friends that... Like, I knew the cool kids, and I came to their houses. And they called you mellow cello but in but like i remember the first time i went to someone's birthday party in high school i was not cool ever again and i realized at that moment because uh for the birthday present for the guy i got him Billy Joel's River of Dreams CD which was very new at the time yeah and he opened and he laughed at me and crushed up Pez and snorted it oh man I like the there's one song on there in

the middle of the night yeah he goes walking in his sleep yeah I think that's a great gift. I would be happy to get that. Guess what you're getting, Valkyrie? I'm walking in the middle of the... You guys, this band, I'm so excited. We want a karaoke competition. This is the Aretha Franklin version?

Yeah. Five, six, seven, eight. A-wim-a-what? Five, six, seven, eight. Oh, I'm a wimp. Were you cool in school? In your high school? In your junior high?

No. What? No, I was very... I don't know. I feel like I was the level of popular that people didn't notice me, but they did not notice me. You know what I mean? No. I know that just like I didn't get I didn't really get made fun of but yeah cuz there were like in high school I remember it was like it was much bigger there were actual like oh these people are really popular right and then these people are really unpopular yeah and

then everyone just had like a group of friends yeah yeah yeah i was kind of chunky in junior high though so i kind of got made fun of a little bit but i feel like i still was i was still i wasn't like sad when i got home from school was there like a specific uh taunt or nickname uh no but i remember this one taunt that this one girl got she got streaks in her hair one day and i always remember because i was like thinking about getting blonde chunks in my hair and then they called her skid marks for like ever and i was so sad for her and then i never dyed my hair never try in high school no never try to be in an but streaks were uh that was everybody was having them i know right why why did they gang up on the one late were they really bad no they weren't even bad i hope those guys like stub their toe

or something in prison whoa don't say anything you can't take back. I'm sorry. Yeah, like, it only takes one kid to agree with the kid that has made the nickname. Yeah, she's Skidmarks now. Skidmarks. Yeah, she is! And that's it. It's funny that you're saying that as male characters. These were mean girls, weren't they? Yeah.

No, I think it was guys. It was dudes oh well they secretly had a crush on her hair yeah that's true they are this was in the jennifer aniston uh hairdo era yeah she apparently jennifer aniston hated the rachel what yeah she hated it how how it made her i know it made her who she should have a shrine in her house to the rachel yeah don't piss in the cup you were born for like this in the cup you were born for don't piss on the spit bucket from friends where you don't uh don't piss where you eat or Don't shit where you eat.

Don't give Taurus in the mouth. Don't dip your pen in the company ink. Oh, don't ever. Don't dip your piss in the company piss. Yeah, don't piss in the company piss. But I like the thing you said. Don't piss in the cup you were born for. I was born for this cup.

Don't let me pee in it. Please invite me to be on your improv team sure you're part of an improv squadron aren't you or a sketch quadrant yeah um i did more in calgary but i i don't what are you part of a sketch something yeah i was part of two sketch groups was science bear right and kab Hooray. They always have the best names. Oh, really? And by best, I mean, oh. No, I haven't done a lot of sketch lately.

Have they? Were you ousted? No, I just moved. They were both in Calgary. I feel like improv teams and sketch troops have sort of taken over for bands as having ridiculous dumb names oh i think bands still you know they can still manage a pretty dumb name what yeah yeah sure i don't know what you're talking about uh my my friend sorry what were you gonna say dave no your turn you'd sweet cherub baby angel. Don't mind me.

I'll be over here pissing in the cup I was born to. Four. Four. And I had a friend and their band was called The Pant Situation. And they never understood what it meant. They just liked weird words together. But they didn't understand that that means something. You know.

Yeah. You know. Keeping mustard in your pocket. Yeah. What did you mean? What did I mean? Yeah. Hmm.

Hey, Graham, what's going on with you? Oh, boy. Well, a couple of things. Ah, oh, boy. Did we need to have the talk? Yeah. The chew? Do birds and bees have sex, or how does that work?

Yeah. Yeah. Think of it as like a boy and his cello sometimes the cello plays you sometimes you play the chill when in soviet russia don't don't even yeah put your all of what you think is the thing is the reverse way boy i'm a real uh whatever that guy's name yak Yakov Smirnoff. Yeah. And in Russia, Yakov Smirnoff's you. It was what I heard.

Yeah. Now, one thing that i decided to wear because they make you uh like try out different outfits because it's televised yeah so they want you to like coordinate with the set the color of the set and they also don't want anything that will like you know like sometimes you see people and they wear like a tie and it moves. Yeah. What do they call that? Moraying? That's somebody.

That's what I was telling this story to somebody. They said, yeah, that's moraying. And I was like, there's another word that means something similar. I forget. Yeah. They just kept saying it'll buzz. Sure. And so I only wanted to wear this one shirt because I was going to wear a jacket, but it was too hot and I would have just sweat.

And when I wear a jacket, it just looks like I have to go to a funeral or something. It seems like that guy's got one jacket and he's wearing it because it's... What kind of jacket was it? You know, it was a brown jacket. A tweed? You know. Oh, a tweed. You know, like a tweed jacket. For some reason, I pictured a parka right away.

A parka or like kind of like. A classic funeral parka. Like a satin jacket. Yeah, like a baseball. Yeah, whatever thing. So I had a shirt that was just like a kind of a plaid, like country western shirt. Sure. And the wardrobe lady was really...

Did it have tassels? It had... It was all tassels. It was Dolly Parton themed. Yeah. It had giant breasts and tassels. I don't know why they had a problem with it. But the wardrobe lady, she really was for it.

She was for the outfit and the producers were all humming and hawing i don't know i don't know it's gonna buzz it's gonna buzz we don't know and then uh then we got it through we got it we got it approved yeah and it was on stage the the costume he was holding up all the different shirts. And then the camera guy like zoomed in on the shirt. And he was like, wait a minute, what's this? And I had discovered the night before when I was putting together stuff that there was a hole in the shirt. So I stitched it up real quick. And this guy, when he zoomed in, it was on all the monitors.

You could see how bad the stitch job was. He was like, what's this? And I was like, it was a hole that I a whole i'm a hobo comic yeah i don't know and uh the uh one of the producers right away was like i think it's i think it fits it fits it fits with the whole theme and so the wardrobe lady was like don't worry i'll fix it up and she did she like put on like an iron-on thing to like patch it up and uh so that was the that's why you have a wardrobe lady oh it was so i just i just owe so much to her then you know she fixed it remember her name uh i believe it was started with a d oh yeah doris yeah diana oh okay. So there was that. My triumphant shirt approval. Thanks, Dee.

And- Lady Di. Oh, you think it was Lady Di? Yeah. She was wearing a tiara. That's weird. Oh my God. Yeah.

And she was a ghost. Also, would she ever go back to Lady Di after the divorce? She was Princess Di. That would be my stipulation in the divorce, is we're getting a divorce, but I also get to keep the title, the crown, the house, the kids. I'm keeping the lady. If you're her? Yeah.

Okay. Yeah. And I will be England's Rose. Yeah, I'm going to be England's Rose. When I die, Elton John, or better, better write a song about me. Well, or Elton John will use a song you already wrote and get Bernie Taupin to change the lyrics. Did he really call or did he just scratch out every reference to Norma Jean and just write it? No, it's brand new.

Although there is some... I heard a thing that it was like, oh, I want to write a song you know, like Candle in the Wind but for Lady Di Princess Di The late Di Like a sandal in the wind Yeah, you lived your life Flopping around with the rain And there was just sort of a miscommunication

Oh, you want me to weird out this thing? sort of a miscommunication oh you want me to weird out this thing oh weird if he had only contacted weird out it would have been about uh would have been about some sort of food or tv show oh yeah that's true it would have been like like a dawson in the creek whatever was popular yeah. So there was that. And then a couple episodes ago, we were talking about the movie The Diving Bell and the Butterfly. Yeah. And you said that you wouldn't watch it for like a million dollars or something like that. I think I forget what the price was.

I think it was probably in the thousands, though. Yeah. And it wasn't. Someone, I think, online was like, oh, they talked about bad movies. Like, I didn't mean that in the sense of it's a bad movie. Apparently, it's quite good. But I don't want to sit through that.

Yeah. So then in the same conversation, I said I would sit through it for 50 bucks. And so one of our listeners contacted me via Facebook, and he's a, I guess the diving bell in the butterfly has a lot to do with speech therapy and relearning how to talk. And this person, Roger R., is a speech therapist, and he's like, I will pay you $50 to watch this movie. And I was like, you are on, my friend. Okay, so did you watch it? I tried to watch it this morning, but Netflix wasn't working.

So I will be watching it this afternoon after the podcast. And I'm not going to keep the 50 bucks. I'll donate it to Speech Therapy Charity. To Diving Butterfly. Yeah, exactly. Diving Bells, etc. Diving Bells Incorporated. Have you looked into how long it is?

It is almost two hours long. Yeah, I know. Life is short. Buzz, your girlfriend, woof. Huh? Did you say? Did you just react in a Home Alone fashion? I don't react any other way.

Understood. So, have you seen the movie? Was that you screaming? Yeah. But you didn't put your hands on your cheeks at first. I know, but no one can see me but you guys. I thought you'd get it. I know, but we didn't get it either.

It doesn't necessarily come across. I'm Home Alone? That's Home Improvement. Sorry, I got them confused. Which one was the one where they kill Al Borland? Was that Home Alone? Well, he tries to break in and, you know. Tim shoots him in the face.

Was it really worth it? Like, they had robbed every house on that street. Was it really worth it to go after the McAllisters? Yeah, that was the jewel. It was the jewel that he wanted. That's what he says. He's like, that's the jewel in the crown, this McAllister house. They've obviously got tons of money because they have so many kids.

Yeah. They must have a bunch of disposable income lying around the house. The kid can go shopping by himself. That's expensive. Grocery shopping's expensive. I don't understand. If the first time that they tried to break in, there was a situation, then wouldn't they just go, let's move on to the next neighborhood? Yeah.

Still, there's still Christmas days. Because Kevin didn't want to call the cops because... I don't know why. At one point, the cops went over to the house. Oh, and checked on him. And knocked on the door. And he was too afraid to answer. And he didn't want to go to, like, foster care or whatever.

Yeah. But... Which is exactly foster care or whatever. Yeah. But. Which is exactly what would have happened. Yeah. But if I was the wet bandits, I'd be like, oh, there's a kid here. He could call the cops at any second. Yeah. But they caught, didn't, wasn't the thing that the phone line went down and that's why

they didn't get a call or the electricity went out or something? Oh, yeah. Yeah. The electricity. Or, yeah. There was some sort of thing with the phone. And then he shaved, and he put on shaving aftershave lotion, and it sounded a little something like this. A-wimble-wap.

But, you know, like, I mean, there's a bunch of logic flaws in that movie. Like when he makes macaroni and cheese and doesn't eat it? Excuse me. Oh, yeah. Was that the night of the showdown? Yeah, and it drives me mad. He sits down to eat it, and then, uh-oh, it's time. Yeah.

It makes me so hungry every time. Why didn't he just stay at the church that night? Because that seemed to be like a safe. He had to protect his house. Yeah, I guess. you had to set off all the uh paint cans all the traps you had to set up the toys by the window now when the parents get home they just take his when they say what have you been up to and he just goes you know hanging around and they all just they accept that as good enough they're like nobody broke in here and

touched you while we were gone right no i just hanging around yeah i bonded with that creepy old man he came into our house yeah i let shovelton into our house yeah uh and then well the last moment is buzz buzz sees uh all the kevin has demolished his room. He mispronounces room. Oh, yeah. I forgot about that. My room. My Roomba. But, yeah.

We should remake that in 2014 with a bunch of new gadgets. And a Roomba gets out of its cage. Wait. You don't put a Roomba in a cage at the end of the day, do you? No, like I thought it would be like the 2014 version wouldn't have a tarantula. It would have a Roomba in a cage. You know what? We should make a petting zoo.

With like Roombas and old ipod docks yep um i think uh home alone is it's remakeable you could remake it with some some kid star they would make it with like zach afron though it would be terrible why would it matter if he was Alone. Isn't he like 32? They remake it with Quvenzhané. JonBenet Ramsey. Yeah. R.A.P. They're remaking Annie with Quvenzhané. And they're also, do you remember I said a while ago that they should remake Police Academy?

They're remaking Police Academy. All right. Yeah. Key and Peele. Oh. Yeah. Maybe they Peele. Oh. Yeah. Maybe they should remake Home Alone with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Is that... Do you guys watch Game of Thrones?

Dave does. Yeah. Dave loves it. I know which one he is. Yeah. Is he Peter Dinklage? Oh, my God. Peter Dinklage, you guys.

Is your crush on Peter Dinklage, is this a real authentic thing? It is. Or you just think it's fun to make fun of little people? Are you out of your rocker? Is that an actual expression? I can't remember. I genuinely love Peter Dinklage so much. But the things you post online are about putting him in a baby Bjorn. That was one time, and it was my profile picture for a few months.

And you also posted something recently where you said you were going to put him in a bicycle basket. Oh, my God. How cute would that be? That would be really nice. Not something you would do to someone you love and respect. Or he could put me in the basket. I just feel like I'm very tall. Okay.

Okay. I genuinely would date and love him forever. Okay. All right. But you're not ready for marriage? He's married, so I'm just waiting for that to run its course. Oh, you'd be the other woman. Yeah, I'd be a mistress.

You would date him forever. Yeah. Wow. I genuinely, yeah. Do you have a mistress? Yeah, of course. I have several. I keep, I mean, here's how I do it.

I look at different area codes. I keep one hoper. Okay. And I just hop around around port to port uh when i go on tour yeah girls girls girls absolutely hoes per capita yeah and i i uh pay they've all gotta pay for an apartment for each of them oh yeah yeah so when i land in a city i got somewhere to hang out wow and also a woman in that place to hang out with. Who's your fave?

You know, Tina's nice. Yeah. Tina from Wyoming. Randy with an I. She's nice. Oh, yeah. Do you guys have celebrity crushes? Yeah, of course.

Who? Who's your number one? Vildjani LeDoyen from The Beach. I don't know who that is but she sounds i don't remember her beautiful lady in the beach um not tilda swinton who are some current let's think here who are current current crushes it's weird because i don't know i can't keep like i don't yeah i don't uh like sometimes i'll see a pretty lady on the Internet and I'll be like, oh, yeah, I forgot. I love her.

Well, here's this is something I didn't think I had a crush on this woman. But then when I found out who she's engaged to, I was like, oh, that's like it wouldn't be impossible in the in the world of all the possible world. It would be impossible. Robin Wright, who was formerly Robin Wright Penn. Yeah. She's like getting married

to Ben Foster. And I feel like I feel like I'm equivalently You wore a Graham outfit in a movie. I could I could

wear on the same footing You can do anything you put your mind to, Graham. So then all of a sudden I was like, all right. Yeah. Robin Wright. not bad.

Yeah, Princess Buttercup. She's no... Jenny. Yeah, she's no woman from the beach, but she'll do. But yeah, the rest of the... You know Jenny from Forrest Gump, right? You guys like her?

What's that actress's name? Robin Wright. Robin Wright? Wait, from Forrest Gump? Yeah. That's her yeah i'm just gonna put my lip jab on over here now you are you've got chapstick but it's in this little egg and are you sure that that is that the way you're supposed to apply it or are you

supposed to put like your finger on it and then well no it's not balm it's not okay it's just a chapstick plus i like to look as dumb as possible. Who's your... Oh, yeah. We know your celebrity crush. Peter Dinklage. Is there anybody else? Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Oh, yeah.

But he's kind of... You know, they're engaged to each other. Oh, no. Yeah. Well, maybe one day. Joseph Gordon-Levitt. What's his deal? He has a production company called Hit Record Joe.

Called what? Hit Record Joe. Joe. Okay. I don't really understand it. It's just like a collaboration site where there's artists and there's musicians and filmmakers and they all work together to create certain projects. A pile of garbage.

Yeah. Yeah, I've never watched it well yeah isn't there a thing where he's the host of it and he like dances and sings is that it there's a thing where he dances and yeah there's definitely i guess uh it's i know what you're looking up later yeah yeah peter dinklage peter dinklage joseph gordon levitt dance off who would win well it's hard to say I don't know Dinklage is beautiful

yeah, I know but it also, like, if I was Peter Dinklage guys, can we please move on? I can't, I'll never move on from Peter Dinklage I'm so bored what? it's like Dave's like a kid at the bank he's so bored there's nothing for him here he doesn't understand So bored. What? It's like Dave's like a kid at the bank.

He's so bored. There's nothing for him here. He doesn't understand. Play with the pen on the string, Kate. What, do you want to talk about cellos some more? Well, usually this is the time when we move on to another segment. Oh, sure. Let's move on to Over Heard.

I'm Dave Holmes. I'm the new host of International Waters, the transatlantic comedy show where land laws do not apply. I am here with one of our writers, Sarah Morgan, from the UK. Hello, Sarah. Hi, Dave. How are you doing? I didn't understand a word you just said. Could you explain International Waters and how it works?

It's a transatlantic panel game. We have teams based in the UK and in L.A. And basically people try to be funnier more than they try to know things. I caught about half of that. Find International Waters on MaximumFun.org. Thank you for your attention. I will see you on International Waters. Sergio Diaz plays in a band called Os Mutantes. His life was changed the first time he heard Elvis Presley. The great thing in the world it is to discover. I mean there's nothing better. I'm Jesse Thorne. My show Bullseye is about discovery. We help you find the best music, the best movies, the best books, and we talk to the people who make them. It's Bullseye

from MaximumFun.org and NPR. and NPR. Overheard. Overheard's a segment in which our guests... Yes. What is this segment? Oh, Overheard's. Okay. I'm fine with that. Okay.

Remember how bored I was before? Yeah. No, we're on a fast track now, Dave. Wake up! Petulant. Child. Yeah. Petulant. Childish.

Free. Association. Sure. Your free association involves the words free and association. Now, you know Overheard's, Amanda. You know what this is all about. Now, before we launch into Overheard, tell us about this bike you bought. I understand you just bought a bike.

I bought a bike, and I named it Bike Tyson. Bike Tyson. Bike Tyson's pretty good. Thank you. What kind of bike is it? It's a Raleigh. And like an old... R-A-L-E-I-G-H?

Yep. And it's a cruiser, and it has a basket. For you to put. Peter D. Peter D. He listens to put. Peter Dinklage in. He listens to this podcast, I hope you know. I know. He'll be crushed. No.

Candy crushed. No. Yeah. No. Tiny little candy crushed. Yeah. Okay, no. We always like to start over herds with the guest. Yeah.

And if you would be so kind as to lead the charge we would appreciate it yeah what i take public transit who don't it happens um and i was on there and it was like a pretty packed streetcar in toronto and ding-a-loo and there was a um a mom and her daughter, and they were standing because everyone was terrible. And the kid looked up at her mom and said, Mom, can I take a 15-minute shower when we get home? But then her mom said, I told you to ask your father. It's like a holiday to have a 15 minute shower. How old a kid was this?

The kid was like 10 maybe. What's the age where you transfer to showers? From being bathed in the sink? Yeah. Like 12 at least. I don't know. I think I was an early showerer.

I think I enjoyed you were on the fast track? like 6? you were a gifted shower? I don't know you don't shower all the time when you're a kid because you don't need to clean yourself daily although when you're a little kid

they bathe you every day yeah well that's because you're like shitting yourself I just found out that babies you you can't bathe them. You have to bathe them like every three days or something. Get ready for that. As opposed to... Like daily.

What do you mean? You're supposed to space it out over three days? Yeah, because their skin dries out. This was Toby Hargrave who was telling me about this. Do you know what the thing is? There's a little thing called baby oil. That's what you put on babies so they don't dry out. Does Toby Hargrave bathe every day?

Well, I don't know. Does he? Not in the sink. Not in the biblical sense. Don't piss on the cub you were born for. Now, here's a question, though. Isn't that what baby oil is specifically for? I don't know.

I haven't got that far. Well, what chapter are you on in the baby book? I know what to expect when I'm expecting. I don't know what to expect when I got it. I watched that one dumb movie. Yeah, and I tried to watch what to expect when you're expecting. I accidentally watched Valentine's Day. Oh, no.

I was another ensemble cast. He's just not that into you yeah baby edition um yeah get ready to not wash your baby a lot because it's because one guy said two guys um who's the other guy toby and charlie damaris charlie damaris is not washing his baby no i'm calling the authority you have to wait like three months before you start washing it regularly. Oh, okay. Well, it's like those fancy jeans. Yeah, then you wash it

in the ocean. But you don't wash it, and you dry clean it once. Only once. Yes, but you dry clean it and then you can never go back to ocean washing your baby. That's right, yeah. You wash your baby every laundry day. Then you just throw it in with your colors. With the colors.

Well, or the whites, depending on the baby. Yesterday I went to the bay, and it's bay days. I bought six pairs of underwear. But now it's really going to affect my laundry schedule. Oh, yeah. Do they have days of the week on the butt? Yeah, I only now have six pairs of underwear.

I used to have zero. And one day is a no underwear day. Well, Sunday's the Lord's Day. Because what would Jesus wear? A toga. Toga. Yeah, toga man Jesus. But no, it's like now my cups runneth over yeah with underwear

too many underwear yeah you've really come into some underwear do you wear exciting underwear like or just like oh this is a total backstreet boys question excuse me i have a question for nick boxers or briefs that was what do you mean men don't have exciting underwear there's no it was originally an exciting question for uh bill clinton yeah all right yeah a little boxer brief uh history trivia for you um i don't yeah no i like, I go to Agent Provocateur And I buy $200 I think I probably talk

I wear crotchless underwear So it's just, just useless They're useless I I think I've talked about this before On the podcast, but when I was a kid I thought about, like, oh, when I'm a Grown man, I'll wear the male equivalent of lingerie, you know, for my wife or girlfriend.

And I assumed... That that would be something that somebody would want? Yeah, well, no. In my imagination, it was suede, and it had tassels. Also, I was very muscular. I was basically the naked cowboy from Times Square. Like it had tassels

or a fringe. What's the difference? Like a fringe is like an old suede jacket. What's tassels? You know, like something that would hang off of a lamp or pasties. I don't know the difference. Oh, like a clump of them.

Yeah, it's like a kind of a roped. Yeah. I would wear what they wear in the club. It had the movie, the movie, the clumps hanging off of it. Like, so you thought, like, the wrestler Tatanka. Yeah. Oh, man, that's so good. But with my hair.

And would you surprise her with it? You know what? I think... And she'd be like, how much did this cost? We're on a budget. Well, I don't know. I had to have the... I didn't know necessarily how sex happened.

Because when you're a kid, you see women in lingerie yeah in like uh hey come in big boy or let me slip into something more functional come on up and see it yeah and then but they never showed the sex so i don't know what i would do yeah okay i guess i didn't realize the uh it was mostly posing in front of each other Yeah I didn't realize And you rented out that bearskin rug When a man suggests sex It's not immediately jumped at

As when a woman suggests sex Do you have an overheard? Okay here we go Back to biz Congratulations on your bike Thank you so much Do you have an overheard? Okay. Here we go. Back to biz. Congratulations on your bike. Thank you so much. Yeah.

It's really exciting. Excite bike. Excite bike. Remember? Yeah. Absolutely. Well, mine is an overseen and I actually posted it on Instagram and you already saw it. I didn't though. So fresh, fresh.

And you already saw it. I didn't, though. So it's fresh, fresh. I was driving down Fraser Street. And I saw a truck that was parked. And it had the name of a business on it. And the name of the business was Saucy Bottoms Cloth Diaper Service. And the logo for Saucy Bottoms Cloth cloth diaper service is a baby in a diaper on the planet Earth yeah you may see it again saucy I'm not gonna

have any sauce for the rest of the day I'm lying i totally that's so scary yeah oh like a giant monster baby oh ruining our ozone layer with its crazy butt it's crazy soupy but yeah with its saucy but that's the gross i was trying to find a spit happens bib for you and abby like a classic but i couldn't everything's just normal and nice here. No, but don't they have the ones that say like... Ramones. Yeah, Ramones. Every baby's into the Ramones.

You know, I'm glad I wasn't aborted or whatever. Like, you know, the real political ones. Oh, yeah. My other dad went to university. That's pretty good. Did you see that on a bib? No, invented it please tm tm tm tm that's why you're gonna you're gonna make it making those bucks yeah yeah bucks babes um so to answer your earlier question boxer briefs great okay thank you i wear like a

like a fringy suede oh you mean like tassels yeah tassels you're like a fringy suede oh you mean like tassels? yeah tassels it's like wearing a lampshade I don't my underwear is really just a boring situation you can wear like

they remember like what were the ones the kids wore like underoos they made like adult versions of underoos so that's like kind of fun what were the ones the kids wore? Like 20s? Underoos. They made like adult versions of underoos. Oh, yeah. So that's like kind of fun.

Yeah. That's like kind of a fun. I've got a couple pairs of those. I don't have anything like that. But I don't wear them because they're uncomfortable. But I go, hey, it's a fun. Yeah. Hey, this is fun.

Look at these weird Swedish underwear. Yeah, yeah. Like I don't, I don't know. I should go to Bay Day. So I should go pick up some underwear. Well, yeah. I guess there's not, there's really just sort of, like, levels of luxury. Where it's like, do you get your underwear at Zeller's?

Do you get your underwear at the Bay? Or at, like, a fancy boutique? Yeah, like, boutique. But it's all the same cuts. What about you? What are you, fun underwear? You plainzos? Yeah, usually.

I don't want to know. What? Get out of here cover your ears then because it's about to get not safe for work okay i'll take my headphones off i can't hear you guys anymore um i usually buy really dumb ones that have like owls on them and they say like i will have you know this is where i you know it's such a long thing to write on underwear i can't oh no what they say um i don't give a hoot

it still doesn't make any sense i know what what doesn't your butt i guess i get a toot yeah they missed an opportunity there musical fruit yeah and i'm always worried worried i'll be wearing it on a day where i'm wearing a skirt and i'll fly up and people will see my shame underwear what is your what is your go to what is your underwear that you would be glad that the skirt blew up do you have a pair that's like, yeah, these are the top. This is the top gun of underwear. Yeah, my ones that say, check it out. Check it out.

Check it out on my genitals. AmandaBrookPair.com. Yeah, be genital with me. I don't have a favorite pair. I have the exact same underwear 15 times. You're like a cartoon. You're like Batman, but for your booty. Batman for your booty.

That's exactly what I am. That sounds like a really good aerobics class. Or like an underwear line for ladies. Batman for your booty? Yeah. Defending Gotham with your boot your boots your bootskeets

good work good work everybody now Graham yeah you don't have an overheard do you I do what

and it's underwear related which is great oh wow this is a perfect lead in it happened on the way here to the podcast cutting it a little close don't you

really close but there was an elderly Chinese lady on the way here to the podcast. Cutting it a little close, don't you think? Really close. But there was an elderly Chinese lady with her grandson. I assume that they were related. Oh, every Chinese person's related, eh? Like I say, I always assume. And the kid was complaining that something wasn't right with his pants in the back. And so his grandmother was trying to fix them. But at the same time, she obviously was giving him a wedgie.

And he kept going, no, no, no, no. And it made me laugh so hard. It was so great. Because she was just trying to do good. But she ended up giving her grandson a wedgie. Yeah, she can do that all by herself. Famous Chinese old lady character. Yeah, I'm really like, now that I'm having a kid, sorry to talk about it for the hundredth time.

I'm really fascinated at these sort of like, the age that you go from a bath to a shower. these sort of like like the the age that you go from a bath to a shower or the age that uh you're not cool with your grandma checking out your underwear oh yeah because this little kid probably was like six maybe and he was like yeah oh no it's not working and it's and also like you know you you haven't quite figured out how pants work like you just put them on and then hope for the best everything's velcro at that age yeah and they've got yeah and like but she was totally giving him a wedgie like she was moving things around that shouldn't have been i feel like every step of my life i've been i've done it wrong the first time like i like i would i approach it with confidence like i can tie my shoes uh but

those are on the wrong feet dave. Yeah, they feel really bad. Yeah. And also, I've got my wrist caught in this shoe now. It's all tied together. Or like, oh, just remember when your mother or father or whoever would hold Kleenex to your nose and you would blow. Oh, yeah. I think that was very short-lived.

Just sniff. Yeah. Yeah. That was gross. It never caught Yeah. Yeah. That was gross. It never caught anything. Yeah. It hurt. They have to, like, smear your face afterwards to catch what they didn't get.

They're squeezing your face. Yeah. It was the worst. I don't understand this transaction, Mom. Yeah, you do it until they're teenagers. Or you threaten to do it when they're teenagers. I'll make you blue. When they, like, lick their finger to get something off.

That was so gross. And their breaths would always smell so bad. No, just my parents. Smell like cigarettes in racing forms. You going to eat that? You going to eat that racing form? Now, is that all the overheards this week? No, sir.

What? We have ones sent in to us via email. If you want to do the send, if you want to be insane, you don't have to be insane to work here. But it helps. It helps. If you want to send one in...

That's what it says on my underwear. And then it's, oh, and you've got the one with the cat hanging out the tree. Yeah, hang in there. Hang in got the one with the cat hanging out the tree. Yeah, hang in there. Hang in there. It's a penis hanging in the tree. If you want to send us an overheard, you can send it in to spy at maximumfun.org.

This first one comes from Diana in Las Vegas. A D in LV. Yeah, she's in a... this is a conversation she's overheard little boy and her and uh and the kid's mother yeah i have 75 dollars mom where did you get 75 dollars boy it's in my secret stash mom i'm sure i'll find it boy mom it's in my secret stash you can't find the stash nobody can find the stash except for grandma she found it right yeah grandmothers are crafty it was in his underwear where did you did you hide stuff oh yeah it's so many secret stashes of porno mostly uh no i kept money in uh one secret stash and then you know from your brothers

uh because your parents weren't gonna steal from you nobody was gonna you know it was all but i had a uh i had a picture and uh like i took it off the wall and in behind the picture like in the frame i like stuffed money around the edges of the frame so i had money in that stash and then yeah it's not bad and then i had a chair that one of the um like the rubber parts at the bottom of the leg came off and you could like stick things inside the chair those are good stashes yeah i had some pretty good stashes so did you ever i think i hid pogs from my brother because we were always fighting do you just have the one brother yeah and uh what was your favorite pog and why um there was a slammer and it had a skeleton on it and it was very cool where did you hide it uh i don't remember

probably in this still hidden to this yeah they're hidden. I buried it in my backyard. It's going to come out like Jumanji one day. Jumanji. Jumanji? Jumanji. I got a case of the Jumanjis. Now, last we spoke, your brother was in a doo-wop? Oh, my goodness, you guys. Band?

My brother is in an acapella group called the Acapella Fellows. That's right. Hell yeah. Not to be confused with my cello group the cello fellows my brother just proposed to his girlfriend and he staged a flash mob which is my worst nightmare oh my god it's my worst nightmare too what did he do god uh he did it in chinook mall in calgary oh my god basically in the food court. Yes. No! New York fries!

Nando's Flavored Grilled Chicken. May our love last as long as this Julius. I was just going to say Orange Julius twinsies, brainsies. So what did

they sing? Some song I had never heard of. I've just seen the footage online because I wasn't there. But it was, there was a lot of dancers. The acapella fellas sang.

It was. Did she say no? No. Thank you. When was she onto, like, did she ever like, oh, as soon as the acapella fellas show up, she's like, oh, I'm getting proposed to, aren't I? Either that or she's like, again? Well, can we go on one goddamn date without the acapella fellas showing up?

Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, Mr. Sandman. Do you want me to send them an application? Are you trying out for the acapella fellas? Yeah. Wow. Do they sing modern hits?

Yeah. Or is it all Mraz? Yeah. My brother has the lead in Breakfast at Tiffany's, though, so... The play? No, the song by that band. Oh, really? By Olympus.

By Deep Blue Something? Yeah. Okay. My brother has the lead in Breakfast at Tiffany's by Deep Blue Something. Don't worry about it. Anyway. I'm excited for this wedding. Are we invited? Yeah, when are we...

I don't know. It's going to be in like Thailand or something. What? I don't know. Everything's a production with these two. That's my gift to them. Ragging on them. Are you going to go? I think so. Yeah, they asked me to MC it. Oh, that. Oh, boy.

Oh, yeah. I've turned down No, I've turned down my sister. You turned down? Yeah. You can turn downsies? They had a really good qualified guy. Oh. Yeah. You still went.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I just turned, like. You were hoping that you could turn downsies and not go. That's what you were. Is that what you were hinting at? Yeah, a little bit. But I'm sure it'll be great. I'm sure it won't.

Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, Sandman. Bring me a... Okay, I thought we were done. I've got sand in my mouth. Bring me to places that I'm not supposed to be. Take this nose and out of my mouth.

I cannot breathe. Stop sandboarding me. Put all this sand on my face. Face. Mr. Sandface, give me a face. Oh, pretty good. Wait, wait, wait. The Sandman is giving someone a face?

Yeah. Okay. Mr. Sandface. Our next word comes from Eric S this is in the Taipei airport I overheard this part of a conversation as two guys walked by the guy says

and then I saw my first Garfield cartoon where were you yeah oh probably it was probably one of those uh rectangular books that Garfield used to put out. And it was probably on the back of a friend's toilet. And just, oh. The guy, Jim Davis, creator of Garfield.

One of the funniest men who's ever lived. Do you think he, like, when, do you think he has a cat? I mean, obviously he has a cat. Yeah. But do you think when his cat dies he's he's got to buy a new cat like i need new ideas yeah yeah what do cats do i forget i should have taken more pictures he starts his cat dies and he can't draw a cat anymore it's all weird shapes he thought he was drawing a photorealistic cat every time and then he draws it and just it's just all weird shapes. He thought he was drawing a photorealistic cat every time.

And then he draws it and it's just all the shapes but they're not together like a cat. It's just circles. Do you think he just brings lasagna and whichever cat starts to eat it, he takes that one? Yeah, absolutely. Or he goes on a Monday and he tries to find the most miserable cat. Whatever the grumpiest cat is. You know there's an actual grumpy cat now. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Yeah, his name's Lil Bub. Different internet cat. This last written in email is from Erin R. in North Carolina. Ah. And she sent us a photo that isn't loading on my phone, but I remember what it is. This is, she found this in a cart at a grocery store. Didn't see who left it, but I really wish I had. And it's a flyer for, you know, like coupon flyer. But somebody was trying to figure out the spelling of the name Chris Tucker.

So at the top of it, it says Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker. Chris Tucker spelled wrong. Like it's C-R-h-i-s and then that's crossed out and it's k-r-i-s chris tucker somebody was trying to figure out how to spell chris tucker uh traditional spelling c-h-r-i-s right i mean chris it's a pretty simple name yeah not for chris angel mind freak yeah what is he k-r-i-s-? K-R-I-S-S? C-R-I-S-S. We talked about this on the last episode. Wow! Why?

Because, I don't know why. Because Mindfreak is in our minds always. That's true. He's freaking our minds. It's not his birth name. What? Mindfreak isn't his real name? No, Mindfreak is his real name. Criss Angel isn't. Mindfreak Jones. Mind Freak isn't his real name? No, Mind Freak is his real name. Oh, okay. Criss Angel isn't. Yeah, yeah. Mind Freak Jones.

Mind Freak Tucker. Mind Freaky Friday. He should make that movie. Yeah. And it would go something like this. Go. Pretty good. Not the mama.

Okay. Wow. In addition to overhears that are written in, we also accept your phone calls. If you want to call us, our phone number is 206-339-8328. Not the mama. Is that from dinosaurs? Oh, man. Here are your phone calls.

Hi, Dave Graham and wonderful guest. This is Nathaniel in Milwaukee calling you with an overheard. From a Brewers game I was at this weekend, during a mid-inning Name That Tune contest, the organist started playing I Love It by Hikonopop. The clue in the jumbotron said Swedish female dancer pop duo. Seemingly everyone in the park knew the answer except for the contestant and the man seated behind me who bellowed,

It's Mamma Mia, you dumbass. I knew that somebody was going to think it was ABBA, but that Mamma Mia took me for a turn. Well, yeah, ABBA is a famous duo. Yeah. That's why there's only two letters in the name. Same time for the two memories. That would be so embarrassing to get something like that wrong in front of a whole stadium.

Oh, yeah. If anyone ever offers you that, turn it down. Even though everyone in the stadium will try to help you. Yeah. But still, if you never heard Iconopop, how would you lead somebody into it? The fact is, I don't care. I love it. I threw a mushroom at a bus.

I don't care. I whipped a battery at an angel. You should care. They do that at Toronto Blue Jays games. And they do a game where you have to guess whose number or what number jersey they have. And I started sweating instantly. You were on it? No, no, no.

I started thinking about if I ever got asked that. And I would just get stuff thrown at me. I know nothing. I just go for the butts. Yeah. Oh, is that right? I go for the butts yeah oh is that right all right yeah i go for the brats somebody told me that uh yeah baseball pants are the uh the male equivalent of staring at uh women in yoga pants that's uh okay would you would you agree with that i mean

the baseball what you just said you just go for the butts. I was only sort of kidding. It's also like a... Great shape. I mean, football is also the... Like, they wear even tighter ones. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, baseball, they still need belts. And actually, guys have started wearing baggy pants in the last 15 years. Oh, boy.

Get out of town. But the problem is... No thanks, right? I mean, I guess it's not a problem. But there's many different body types who play these two sports. That's true. Oh yeah, there's your linebackers and such. And your baseball.

But there's plenty of out of shape baseball players. Because it's a game of standing. Yeah. And actually sitting. Yeah, there's a lot of sitting. And you know what? In the worst case scenarios, belly itching. And belly scratching.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I heard of this guy. Yeah? He wasn't a pitcher. I mean, he was a pitcher. We wanted something else. We were hoping for something else. Guys, we took it too far.

Is there crying in baseball, though? There's very little crying in baseball. Very little. Okay. I mean, that Cal Ripken thing was really... And when that guy said that I'm the luckiest man in the world. Yeah. That guy.

I can't remember. He had some kind of disease. Who's that guy? He had that disease named after him. Ebola Jones. Yeah. Mickey Mantelitis. The Ebola Jones.

It's really Jones heavy. Yeah yeah two two jones names i was um they read i've been watching dave come back that ken burns baseball documentary they redid they added a few chapters later and they did a marathon that's what that's what it needed well they more chapters they because they did it in the I guess mid 90s and then they added like chapters for steroids and Barry Bonds and Mark McGuire the shame you're hitting all those baseballs and part of it was Cal Ripken retiring and that was one of the tear-jerking moments in baseball or not the retiring when he when he you know defeated defeated Lou Gehrig when he

surpassed Lou Gehrig's record. And he seemed like such an old man at the time. And he was like 36. But in pro sports, come on, 36. Unless you're in curling or darts. Yeah. Time to go out to stud.

That's what old, yeah, that's what professional sports guys do. Wow. Did you know that? No. Yeah. There's a. Right now I have no freaking clue.

Go to the Cal Ripken sperm bank. Yeah. And, you know. And then do what you're going to do. Yeah. Do what, do what. Grab a turkey baster. Yeah.

Do what comes naturally. Here's your next. Phone call. Hey, do it. It comes naturally. Here's your next phone call. Hey, Dave Graham and possible guest. This is Dave from Ohio. Just saw a vehicle on the freeway with a vehicle wrap for a dog training business called All Dogs Go to Kevin. Oh, man, that's good. That's amazing.

It's no saucy bottoms. No, but you know, maybe that's like, that's if you were in that line of business and your name wasn't Kevin, it would be worth legally changing your name to make that all work. Although, is he training all dogs to go to him? Like, even after you get them home, they will

they still go to Kevin? Se after you get them home they will they will uh they still go to kevin seek him out like he's the base of their rumba well yeah he's their spiritual leader as uh because they no longer believe in heaven they believe in kevin yeah we want to go to go to heaven do you think he also has a convenience store named kevin 11 yeah and And also and he has a movie called Lucky Number Kevin. Yep. And

11. And come on. He has a show called That's So Kevin. So Kevin.

Yeah. And then also one more thing. And also one more thing. And finally the comedy rule of fours. Here's your final overheard coming at you through the phone. Hi, it's Abby's Aunt Sheila calling with an overheard of the Kids Say the Darnedest Things variety.

I work at an international school and a little Eastern European boy. I'm going to do a bad accent. I will warn you now. Six years old. Was wearing some sweet Reebok Winter Haven snow boots. And I complimented him on them and he said to me,

and you know what? They have super hype. And with this, I can run fast. It's Peashooter. Love you guys. Love the show. Bye-bye. Run fast as a peashooter? Yeah.

These are super hype. I can't believe that we got a call from Aunt Sheila. I know. Can you believe it? Aunt She-She. Yeah. We're, like, really close. Yeah, totally.

For any new listeners, it's been a while since Sheila called. That's Abby, my wife, and her own person. Yeah, totally. For any new listeners, it's been a while since Sheila called. That's Abby, my wife, and her own person. Her aunt. Sheila, friend of the show, long-time listener, first-time caller. Not first-time caller, long-time caller. Long-time caller, long-time listener. Long-time baller.

Long-time glistener. Any more seven Kevin puns heaven don't get mad get Kevin don't go chasing Kevin falls please stick to the rivers

and the blakes that you used you did it yay well done Amanda now Amanda this does bring us to the end of this year's show oh dang and uh you've got lots of stuff to plug you've got things going on right i can't think of any oh good well i'm glad i set you up for you're on twitter i'm on twitter you can follow me on twitter at brooke perrin i have a brooke Brooke Perrin. Brooke Perrin. Brooke Perrin. Not your first name. Too many letters.

Nope. See you later. First name. And I have a- Do you remember your first name? Esmeralda. Blake. Kevin.

You have a podcast. I have a podcast. It's called We're Doing It. And it's you. And Julia Ladkowitz. The silent H. And we do stuff. So we do a different thing each episode.

We've been to a male strip club. Fun. What was that like? Oh, it was a lot of dong. Too much dong. You can't go wrong. So do they really take off the whatever? Yeah.

The rule is they're not allowed to show their testicles. But they can show their dongs. That is false. We saw a lot of everything. Do they... Dave wants to... Not to be indelicate. Do they salute or are they at ease?

They're always at ease because they're there for like hours. So that would be crazy if they just had the boner police walking all over. Yeah. It's not that crazy. It's hard to get it to go away. One ride on the bus. Does anyone wear like a suede fringe sort of thing? Please welcome to town.

Some tassels were involved. Are their nipples covered? Yes. Do they come out in theme-y outfits? It was very terrible. One guy was stripping to James Blunt, You're Beautiful. My life is red.

My life is red. You're beautiful. He's crying. Yeah. It's true. He's crying. Yeah. It's true. It's all of it. Well, in the video he strips, doesn't he? Yeah.

He takes off his shirt. Is he at the beach? It's like in a snowstorm, though. Oh, yeah. His nipples are rock hard. He's beautiful. He's beautiful. Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, you're beautiful.

And that's for sure. Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, you're beautiful. And that's for sure. Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, you're beautiful. And that's for sure. Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, you're beautiful. And I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do. Kevin will never be with your Sue. Kevin will never be with Sue.

You should play that at their wedding That's me my brother's name we're perfect. No, okay. Now. What else do you get to plug? Oh goodness. Come on You got a Twitter. You got a so, you know that female strip clubs are great. Everyone loves them. They're great. They're fun There's no awkward moments. There's no guilty feeling. It's the one place that Fiona Apple's Criminal is being played on high rotation, still to this day. I've been a bad, bad girl.

I've been a bad, bad girl. Well, thanks for being our guest. Wait, I have a show. Okay. I run a show every third Wednesday of the month at Comedy Bar in Toronto, and it's called That Was Fun, and I host it with my friend Mikey Kohlberg. Great. See?

Does it have an exclamation mark in it? That was fun? Uh-huh. That was fun. Does We're Doing It have an exclamation mark in it? No. Okay. Good.

There's no reason why it it wouldn't i mean like what if we're doing drugs like that we should oh did you are you gonna do an episode where you do drugs we did one we we ate pot brownies and we filmed it 30 minutes into them and then we stopped at 30 minutes and then we filmed the second half the next day so we it wasn't just a video podcast no it was it was an audio but you filmed it um we filmed it we filmed it we filmed it on cassette um teddy ruxpin uh so yeah not the mama not the mama anyways that's that's it thanks for being guest. Thanks for having me. Do you guys have anything to plug? We're back already. Yeah, this episode comes out when we're back from Portland, Seattle, Vancouver.

Thanks for coming to that. Oh, actually, I think this comes out the day we're in Vancouver with Jesse Thorne. So, thanks for coming to that. Does this come out the 28th? If you're listening before the show, go to Hot Tub with Kurt and Kristen on April 28th. Where? In Los Angeles. Los Angeles.

California? California. Okay, all right. Yeah, you know. Oh, I don't know if I've got a date set up for the next Ring-a-Ding-Dong Dandy, but it's going to be in May. It's going to be exciting. Okay.

I'm going to wear a fringe tasseled underwear. Why are you shrugging? I'm pouting why because because you're making fun of my childhood fantasy of what sex was probably like it probably is like that for a lot of people i don't know it goes by real fast it's hard to tell what it's like uh thanks again for being our guest thank you for having me if you If you like the show, go over to MaximumFun.org, check out the blog recap, pictures and videos relating to the content of this podcast.

Well, it's probably a picture of Tatanka. I hope that there's a link to the video of this proposal. It's 13 minutes long. Don't get your hopes up. 13 minutes? Oh, my God. What is it, A sex act? Yeah.

Was she like. There were tons of tassels. Was she just like, get to the part where. Will you, will you, will you. Go to New York fries and have some fries. They're so delicious. And I had to get sponsorship from everyone. And she said, I, Julius.

Not bad. If you want to get in touch with the podcast, it's SPY at MaximumFun.org or 206-339-8328. And if you like the show, tell your friends and come on back next time for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself. to yourself.