Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 32 - Crumbs

Episode Date: October 5, 2008

Stephen Sim and Lee White of Crumbs join us to talk ginger ale conspiracies and modern rock frontmen.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello, everybody, and welcome to episode number 32 of Stop Podcasting Yourself, broadcasting live from Regal, downtown Vancouver. No, don't make that face. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is the man that car and driver called the most Sedan of 1998. Yeah, I was I beat the Tercel. No, the Corolla.

Ah, Dave Shumka. And joining us here in the office bedroom slash guest room is two members of, the first time we've ever done four people on a podcast. Yep. The two

members that make up Crumbs, Stephen Sim and Lee White. Thank you for joining us here on Stop Podcasting Yourself. How are you guys doing? We're doing good. Thank you for letting us crash here. Hey, man. My pleasure. You're not crashing here.

We're not. We'll talk. We'll talk. Downtown Vancouver is amazing. The buildings here are so tall. It's true. We're from the prairies, eh? Y'all are from, is it Manitoba?

Manitoba. It's true, Winnipeg. Oh, mighty gitchy Manitou. You know the history. Dave likes to do a little research. Yeah, is that right? I think so. At one time, yes.

Correct. How's Louis Riel? He was doing okay for a bit, and then... How'd that end? Not so good. No. It turned out he was hung. Oh.

In a good way? Yeah, like he was hung. In a Jamie Foxx way? I don't know if he's hung. I don't know if he's hung. Willem Dafoe, I hear, is hung. Oh, really? Yeah.

I've heard the same thing about Tobey Maguire. For me, I've heard about John Mayer. Milton Berle. Come on. He's the original. He is the original. He's the original baby. I've heard that.

Oh, Milton Berle. Is that true? I've never heard that. Like my arm. You have. I've heard it. You're being sarcasmo. I'm being sardonic?

No, you're not. Are you? Okay. Irreverent? Yeah, you're being irreverent. I have very little reverence for Milton Burrell's penis. We're off to a great start. Yeah, this is going really well.

This is generally how it flows. Awesome. I'm liking it. You guys host your own radio show. It's true. You know of how to make a smooth hour. Did we introduce them as the crumbs? Yeah, I said of the Sketch Duo Crumbs. Sketch Duo? Improv Duo. Sorry.

Oh, I fucked it up. I said it right before. You did. I would like that bleeped out. Just the part where I said sketch. Stricken from the record. I would like you to put your voice saying improv over where I said sketch. Well, our roots are actually within sketch comedy.

So you're not that far off. What's, uh... Well, yeah, let me ask you guys this. You guys are improvisers. Your roots are in sketch. What's the best sketch going on right now? Whether who... On television or all over the world,

who's... Come on. You must have a favorite, no? Have you guys ever heard of Monty Python? Yes. No, wait. The Muppet Show? You can't do that on television? Oh, you can't do that on television.

They're pretty groundbreaking. Were they? People still rip them off. What about The Hilarious House of Frightenstein? Was that a sketch? Come on. What was that guy's name? Billy Van, Billy Van, Billy Van, Billy Van. What about The Hilarious House of Freightenstein? Was that a sketch? Come on. What was that guy's name?

Billy Van, Billy Van, Billy Van, Billy Van. And the winner of the $25. Say it three times. No, that's his buzzer. Billy Van, Billy Van. That's his candy man. Billy Van. What happened to Billy Van? He died, actually, just a little while ago.

They had a big tribute to him. I don't know if you want to talk about that, but he was amazing on that show. Of course I want to talk about that. There was two other actors. They filmed I think it was like 145 episodes in 90 days.

Really? They would just do one of the bits at a time. All of Griselda's at a time. All of the librarians at a time. All the dancing sequence with Igor. All of that was done at the same time. And so for a week they would do the Wolfman.

Oh god, I love the Wolfman. So it was him most of the characters. The only two characters that weren't him was Igor the fat guy. Well then there was the little guy too. The little vampire. And then there was the hippie Superman.

Oh right, who was the hippie Superman? Nobody knows. Then there was the physics professor. And the professor on that show was a Nobel Prize winning scientist. He wasn't just some crazy guy that they found. He was a crazy guy. I've never wasn't just some crazy guy that they found. I've never heard of this show.

Are you serious? I know I was playing dumb with Milton Berle's penis. But you've actually never heard of the hilarious House of Frankenstein? Maybe I've never heard of it. As soon as you see it, you'll be like, oh, that creepy show when I was a kid. It would have been on...

I was born in 1994. Oh, yeah. They stopped airing it in 94. That was the year. That was the amnesty. You were voted best sedan of 98. Yeah, it was. It's weird.

You got that done in a short period of time to get some options. Who wants a four-year-old sedan? That's weird. Well, I guess. But anybody who's buying a used car would probably want a four-year-old sedan. But you were so reliable. Oh, I was very reliable and great mileage. Who'd want a four-year-old sedan?

What? Nobody. Going back, you've actually never seen the hilarious House of Freightenstein. As far as I know. Wait, are you talking about Maniac Mansion? No. Oh, no. Maniac Mansion was like a very, very, very poor man's version.

That started in 94, didn't it? It may have. I think it did. I don't know. We're throwing around a lot of facts. A lot of numbers here. Okay. We're throwing around one number, 94.

Yeah. 94 is going to be an inch in here. Which is made up of four numbers. Yeah. If you count the 19. Which is one. There's a whole bunch of numbers. Oh, that's like that movie 23 where everything adds up.

The number 24. Back to Billy Van, though. Billy Van, Billy Van, Billy Van, Billy Van. Vincent Price was on that show. True. Did he have some hand... Because wasn't it called... Didn't he have some hand in producing it or something?

Or was he just... Vincent? Vincent Price. No, the story goes is that basically Vincent Price was in town. Because Vincent Price was a chef. Like, that was his hobby. Yeah, that's right. I have a cookbook by Vincent Price. On record? Because there's a record that he

put out, too, of how to cook. Oh, no, I have the book. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can we go to a clip of that record? Anyway, the short story... Never mind. What I'm trying to say is those are the people that influenced our sketch comedy. Where it was Billy Van. Billy Van, Canadian children programming.

That's fantastic. It was Canadian. Yeah. Okay. It was Canadian and it had been surprised. You guys did not give me any explanation when I asked for it for the record. Oh, it's like... Okay, so it was hosted...

I sang the theme song. I did. Yeah, you did. That's right. Is that it's like, okay, so it was hosted... I sang the theme song. I did. Yeah, you did, that's right. Is that it? That's it, yeah. Because then I started thinking that was the... Every week it was a bunch of mini sketches that all involved some form of monster

or kind of B-movie themed thing. And it was kind of, sort of hosted by Billy Van as the Count Dracula and Igor as Igor. And then there was a... Big fat green guy. You're thinking of Warren the Grog from YTV.

Again, that was 1994. Again, that was 1994. I'm really shocked because I thought that was kind of universal. Maybe it didn't make its way out to BC. It was huge. It was a staple. I grew up in Calgary.

What channel? CBC? No. Couldn't tell you. It was a Hamilton station that originally had it, and then they basically sold it to a bunch of people, and then... Not us. And then fame ensued.

Yeah. Although, it may have just been something that I just never saw. You know what? Check it out. Yeah, check it out. At your local independent video store. Or YouTube. Or your local library, probably.

That's a shorter trip, YouTube. Did we even play the Get to Know Us theme? Nope. Get to Know Us. Now we did. Let's get to know us. Now we did. Let's get to know individually. We got to know a lot about the hilarious House of Freightenstein. But let's start with one of the guests, Stephen Sim.

What's been going on? You don't have to tell us about yourself, just what's going on in general. You just got, well, you were away in the spring in Europe, and we were talking about the awesomeness of the public i understand you guys are huge in germany we're much uh we eat a lot more over there yeah but uh yes throwing a room shot why not zinger um yeah we we've been we've been touring over in uh europe Germany, Switzerland, Austria. For some reason, German-speaking countries.

No, we don't speak German. I was in Austria this summer. I was fantastic. Where in Austria? I was in Vienna. Vienna? Vienna's okay. It was just, we went to Prague, and then Vienna was very close. Okay.

So that's why I went to Vienna. Right. Graz. Yeah. That's where you want to check out. Is that really? Yeah. Okay.

Next time I'm over that way. There you do. There you way. There you do. There you do. There you do. No, why not? We don't know. That could be slang from the middle of the country. There you do.

There you do. Actually, that could catch on. So we go out there, and we do stuff out there, and we've been touring there seven or eight years, and we still have a couple more years left, I think. What does that mean? That sounds ominous. They want us back in 2009, and then they plan to have us back in 2010.

Nice. Are you playing in theaters? Yeah, mostly theaters. And is it a circuit kind of thing? We've kind of established a circuit. The circuit there, the improv, the long-form kind of improv circuit has kind of been built on our backs actually wow over there which is kind of kind of cool that's very cool they're gonna name a road after us what's not true no it's not not at all not remotely true no not a real road no but a road

of imagination road of like the circuit road like this this road from like if you looked on on a map and like this loop that we yeah when we do it this town to that town that's the crumbs trade yes well you probably take a train instead of road it's mostly by train yeah cuz the world they all run on time it's quite romantic yeah yeah what's up with the people in the trains and I only took the train between Prague and Vienna, but the people that just stand in the corridors, is that like a cheaper ticket to not sit down at all? No, it just means you don't have a seat.

You just have a pass. You pay the same price as everybody else, but you have to stand in a hallway for your entire trip. Technically, you can pay like an extra dollar or something, or an extra $5 to reserve a seat. What, am I made of Kroner? Yeah, what a... Remember that movie, Made of Kroner?

With Patrick Dempsey. Take to the hallways. You're not guaranteed a seat when you buy a ticket. A ticket does not guarantee a seat. Do you guys do the extra money for the guaranteed seat? Yes. It seems like a chump decision to try and save a couple of bucks by not having a seat.

Well, if you're traveling all the time and you don't really care. True. But for us, it's like we're really tired. Between gigs, we're getting to the next city and we're just like, we've got all our bags and we want to guarantee our seat. Sit down and chill.

Have you ever been stuck in one of those four-person compartments with somebody really shitty? As it turns out, yes. So we're in a, it's actually, it was a six-banger. Okay. And we go in there, and we find a couple seats by the window, and there's a couple old dudes with their mustaches and their fat guys. They're just two fat middle-aged guys.

Two fat mustachioed men. They're chatting away, and we're chatting away, and they're chatting away, and we're chatting away, and then the train starts to move. They both stand up, whip out their badges, and say, Fastboard Control. Oh, wow. Wow.

We need to see your papers. And we want to go through your bags. And then, like, we want to go through your bags. And they kind of look at you like, and they watch you. They don't really look at what they're looking at in the bag. They look at you to see if you start sweating. You might, rabbit.

You might. And we were totally calm because we're cool as cucumbers. Right. And because you had nothing to hide. Yes, that too. And they quickly decided that they weren't going to go through the rest of our dirty clothes. Now, they show you these badges. Yeah.

The identification is not in English, I'm assuming. It's pretty universal badge passport control. Is it? Do they have Russian accents? These two guys did in my story. They were both played by Drago, whatever his name is. Dolph Lundgren. Dolph Lundgren.

Was that Russian that I just did? Who knows? Passport control. Passport control. Passport control. Ah, there we go. Yeah. It may have been Pennsylvania.

I don't know. They had accents to me. What is the universal badge of passport control? I wouldn't know it to see it. It's kind of silver. They're cops. If somebody flashed me a sheriff's badge, I would believe. Like one of those old with the star.

With the star. The five point. Yeah. I'd believe that. Yeah. I'm that. Yeah, go through. I don't have anything in my bag that's of any interest.

That's the only time that I would freak out, is if I had something that I didn't want people to see. We're not smuggling nuclear weapons. We're not. You know, we don't have. Yet. 2010. No, I don't think nuclear is on the way out.

What do you think? Biological? Yes. Ah, good call. Nano bombs, that kind of... Nano bombs? It's like a tiny bomb.

It's like a millionth of a bomb. It blows up your... You can wear it on your sweater when you're jogging. It blows up your vein system.

Really? That can't be true. Oh, yeah. Really? And we'll be smuggling them. Nice. For your vein system. Not in your luggage, though. No, inside my veins. In your vein system. And hope they don't go off.

Let's get to know Lee White. Other half of Crumbs. What makes you tick? What's going on in there? I'm a simple man. I have simple needs. You know, I enjoy simple man. I have simple needs. I enjoy ginger ale. I enjoy... What kind of ginger ale?

Canada Dry. It's a good thing that you agreed with that. I also like Schweppes. I have a huge problem with Schweppes. It tastes like it's been Schwepped up off the floor. Don't do material on the show. What about the Raspberry

Schweppes? I like that. Yeah, Raspberry Schweppes around Christmas time. Am I right? 365. What are you drinking in the summer? Oh, fuck. Canada Dry has, they do cranberry in Christmas time, and they now have a green tea. But for me, the thing is that I like ginger ale.

When I was buying the Canada Dry, it wasn't like I needed an alternative. Like, this isn't fruity enough. I don't need an alternative. Other people do. Has Canada Dry ever tried to hip up its image that way? Has it ever been like Mandarin Orange Canada Dry? Something like that.

That seems like a hip flavor. Well, the green tea thing is, I mean, come on. That's got to be a hip thing. I mean, you guys live in Vancouver. Oh, yeah. It's so hip, we're already past it. Exactly. What are you guys into now?

We're into... What do you call that? What's the new thing? It starts with a mat... Oh, mate. Mate. Matcha? From South Africa.

We're past mate into matcha. The South American stuff. Yeah, we've... And also, we're one of the first, I believe, cities in the country who may not be the only ones, that really were early adopters on that coffee that a certain type of animal ate, and then shat it out,

and then you take the beans. I don't know if that's going to catch on. Yeah, no, but it caught on huge here. I make my own corn that way. That's how I prepare refried beans. Why are we calling the green giant? What are your thoughts on ginger beer?

It's a bit sharp for me. That's all. You're a simple man. Yeah, I'm a very simple man. Canada Dry. The Cristal of ginger ale. Yeah, the best of ginger ale. I'm not going to argue that, but it's always been...

It's number one, and it's pretty much not disputed. Yeah, not in Canada. Maybe in the States, though. I don't know. In Europe, it is so hard to find a Canada Dry. Yeah, it's almost impossible. What do you get over there? You can drink Schweppes, unfortunately.

Well, that's the thing, is that Schweppes has that club soda market over there, so the ginger ale just comes along with it for them to cross pollinate or whatever. Synergy. If you want to get into ginger ale conspiracies, though, both companies, Schweppes and Canada Dry, are owned by the same company.

Oh, not another one of these. I liked when you started the sentence with if you want to get into ginger ale conspiracies, that's just one of many. I told you, I'm a simple man. But no, there's a complexity that belies that. Below the surface, yes. Yeah, like it's really, you say you're a simple man, but then all of a sudden you're about to lay out some really big fucking big time conspiracy about ginger ale. Well, the thing was 9-11 did so much for

conspiracies you know and everyone's got to have one it really brought it back to the four didn't it like uh not since jfk yes they're kind of a valid time yes conspiracy there's definitely been a resurgence are there more ginger ale conspiracies yes uh the originator He didn't even wait for you to say go Yes The originator of Canada Dry Charlie Canada No it was Billy Dry He's right When the family's married it was a gay wedding

Charlie Canada and Billy Dry Right The originator of it To his deathbed didn't want to sell the company He didn't want to have anyone else a part of it because he knew they would change the formula. They would add more sugar. And as time would go, they would... And he was dead set about original, original, original sort of recipe kind of thing.

And then just after he died, his kids just basically went, Coca-Cola, money. And it's gone. So you've never had the sweet, sweet fruits of the original Billy Dry formula. No, and that's not even the conspiracy. He should have left the company to you. He should have. Yes, he should have. But the conspiracy goes is that he still haunts every can that's produced.

I don't think that's a conspiracy. And below that, too. That sounds like a ghost story. When he was coming up with the formula, his mission in life was to create a champagne. Yeah, he wanted a champagne that was non-alcoholic. And that, and hence... The name. The name.

The catchphrase. The tagline. The champagne ginger ales, which is still on every can to this day. And bottle. Hauntingly. True. Yeah, and now he haunts every can. I don't try and prove that, disprove that conspiracy.

I doubt you will be successful. Should we move on? No, we haven't got to know you yet, Dave. Well. What happened? What happened this week? This weekend I went away to a little place called Gabriola Island. For?

Just to visit Abby's family. Yep. Abby, your girlfriend. And my girlfriend's family. It was your own person. And on the way back, I was listening to the radio. We were listening to 99.3 The Fox, which is Vancouver's modern rock station

for all your modern rock needs. And it was Sunday night and we did a... I say we, because. You weren't on it. No, no, no. I'm in no way affiliated with Vancouver's Modern Rock Station. All right.

But they did a top five weekend. And so every, they played five songs in a row, and there was always a theme of like top five guitarists, top five political bands lists are huge they're easy to do i think yeah i think that's it people want to hear them but they can't wait to hear what's next they want to guess what's number one yeah it's lists are great and uh they did a while we were driving home they did the top five ultimate front men oh songs oh no like the front singer yeah yeah top five what do you say should we guess at this right now you will

never in a million years get any of them well you might get one jim morrison you you'll get two steven tyler no oh am I supposed to say yes or no? Well, I said Jim Morrison. No. Is it a ding or a what? Steven Tyler? No? This is Modern Rock.

Modern Rock. Oh, this is Modern Rock. Oh, right, right, right, right. I didn't catch the fifth one, so I only have the top four. Okay, top four. The top four are all American. Okay, but what date? Well, no, actually not American.

Like, what time period are we reaching from here? More like 90s to now. How far back do we go? They're basically 90s to now. One of the bands existed in the 80s. But the Red Hot Chili Peppers... Let me stop you. I'm pretty sure

they're not all American. I was wrong. One is not American. But number five must have been Canadian because of Canadian content laws. Johnny Nickelback. Johnny Nickelback or Johnny Tragically Hip. Right. Okay. Okay, wait, wait, wait.

Did we guess any of them? No. Can I still put in a guess? Yes. No, it's all guesses. Oh, we're allowed? Okay. What about Eddie Vedder, the Pearl Jam guy? You're right. Number three. No. Can I still put in a guess? Yes. It's all guesses. What about Eddie Vedder, the Pearl Jam guy? You're right. Number three. Wow. Hey, there you go. Good. Nice.

First one on the board. Yeah, and the first... Oh, geez. Right out of the gate. And at number three. Dave Grohl. Dave Grohl of the Foo Fighters. Yes. You're kind of ruining my story, but this list... Was it Dave Grohl of the Foo Fighters. Yes. You're kind of ruining my story. But this list... Was it Dave Grohl of the Foo Fighters?

This list was so bad that the number one ultimate frontman, Dave Grohl of the Foo Fighters. Oh, yes! You totally ruined his story. Yeah, but he was... But we have the guessing part that's going to be really fun. Before that story would be ruined. There's still some more to guess, though.

Wait. I enjoy that. Wasn't he in another band with a more dynamic frontman? Kurt Cobain. Didn't make the list. Not in the top four, anyway. Not dynamic enough.

No one likes him anymore. He was pretty famous. At the time. You wouldn't have heard of him. You were born in 94. Doesn't age well. I wasn't really born in 94. I'd be hanging out with a 14-year-old. Hey, that's cool.

It's the future. It's my scary, scary future. That is a terrible number one. Yeah, it is a terrible number one. Who was the number two, at least? Elton John. It was Elton John, the front man of the band, the Lion King band. I can't think of any bands. Number two was Mr. Bono Bonoman. Front man of the band, the Lion King band. I can't think of any bands.

Number two was Mr. Bono Bonoman. Oh, from YouTube. Of course. He should be number one, maybe. He should maybe be number one. From YouTube, yeah. From YouTube. Yeah, he was... Oh, no, from YouTube.

Taze on Dave. Well, technically owned by Google, so that's... He's like a front man of a band of an internet search engine. The greatest thing about U2 is they've always known the exact right moment to sell out. Like, they always know the exact moment. U2 or YouTube?

U2. The band. How much do you think it would cost to put Bono on the front of a cereal box? I don't know. $700 million? Who's paying who? What cereal box would it be?

Is the cereal company paying him? Or is he paying a cereal truck? He's like, I want to be the new Captain Crunch. I'll pay you $25 million. That's what I thought you were getting. I don't know what happens anymore. I want to be on the front of Desmond Two Toes. Is that a cereal?

Do kids eat Desmond Two Toes? Not anymore. It's Two Two, but they're O's. They could be Toot U's and they're not O's. They're U's. Think about it.

Desmond Two Toes. I work in the Two Toe factory. We just take Cheerios. And I work in the I work in the Toot-You factory We just take Cheerios And I work in advertising So is that Was that your week? Pretty much

Number four Layne Staley Of Alice in Chains Oh That's a weird That is a weird That is a That's a weird pick

Amongst the other picks That are very kind of Weird I listen to mostly Top five radio You know That's a weird pick amongst the other picks that are very kind of weird. I listen to mostly top five radio. To come up with Bono and then Dave Grohl as the number one and two, and then to go all the way back to Alice in Chains, that's a weird... That was number four, I guess. Pearl Jam and Alice in Chains.

You don't remember number five? Number five probably was Kurt Cobain. I'm pretty sure it had to be Canadian. Bruce Coburn. The guy from the Barenaked Ladies. Another thing I forgot to mention. We never mentioned this a couple episodes ago. Is that we received an award.

An award? In the Georgia Straight. In the annual Best of Vancouver edition, we came in second in number two podcasting. There it is. We lost to the CBC Radio 3 podcast for best local podcast.

To the mother corporation. They're national. And we're biting on their heels. If you voted for us, I doubt you did. But thank you. Let us know if you did. Somebody had to have voted for us I doubt you did But thank you Let us know if you did Somebody had to have voted for you I voted for us and my girlfriend voted for us

I didn't even vote for us You abstained I was out of the country I was in Austria You could have mailed in your vote But whatever Or done it online Oh right the internet You could have mailed in your vote. But whatever. Or done it online.

Oh, right, the internet. What's been going on with you, Graham? I have a question for the guests. Have either of you guys seen Tropic Thunder? No, I have not. I've seen parts of it. I want to hear where this goes.

Did you see them in the theater? No. Okay, then. That's why I've only seen parts of it. Online? On a movie theater? Maybe on a plane? I'm big into the download.

The download? So you've seen bits and pieces? Yes. And I will tell you that from what I've seen, Robert Downey Jr., that guy is amazing. And how did he get amazing? Out of nowhere. Years of drugs, I think. I think drugs make you good. Chaplin. Is the lesson to be learned

from Robert Downey Jr. But here's the thing. In the movie, Tropic Thunder, and not to try and spoil it for anybody, Okay, spoiler alert. But this is the big controversy in the movie was something to do with retards, right? Please. There was a retard

segment. I heard about that. Yeah, there's a whole retard and Robert Downey Jr., his character is lecturing Ben Stiller's character because Ben Stiller's character plays a retard in a movie. What was the movie called? Do we have to use the word retard? I'm very offended.

They really used it a lot in the movie. I'm only using it in context. Retards don't care either. It's true. Well, we do. It wasn't the... The thing is that the actual dialogue in the movie is that Robert Downey Jr.'s

lecture room says, you never go full retard in a movie. You won't get an Oscar if you go full retard. And it gives them all these examples of people who are kind of retarded in movies and have all won Oscars, but the only example is Sean Penn in I Am Sam went home Oscar-less. And so anyways, it was the big kind of moment and it was very controversial of the film. But then I was at the movies last weekend and one of the previews for the movies

was a movie starring Robert Downey Jr. alongside Jamie Foxx, who's doing Full Retard. Wow! And I'm like, now that you've done that... It's a new movie? It's a new movie that's coming out and I was like, I cannot...

You can't make that movie anymore. You've already done the movie where you criticize that exact movie that you're in where somebody's playing part retard. Maybe they were joking around. Oh yeah, I know, but it's, you know, it's very hard to... I understand Jamie Foxx

is hung. That's what I heard earlier on. Is this not, though, the same bit from the Extras TV show with Kate Winslet? Is it not the same? It, the same bit from the Extras TV show with Kate Winslet? Is it not the same? It's the same bit. But cripple is a nice British way of saying retard, isn't it?

Absolutely. No, spasmoid is a nice British way. Spasmoid or mongoloid. When I was in Wales, I believe. Spastic. Yeah, it was spastic. It may have been cerebral palsy, but it said formerly known as the Spastic Society. No, it was never.

Wow. Technically, if you go into government documents, they still use the word retard. And there are people desperately trying to get them to stop that. It was, at a point, a scientific term. Well, and retard is French. It's classy. Retard. It just means slow.

It means fox. Renard. Going right back to the radio station here, 99.3. The fox. Le Renard. Le Renard. C-F-O-X. You guys, if you get bored of this podcast,

just switch over to the Modern Rock Station in your neighborhood or... My bet is they'll be playing some Foo Fighters as you turn over. They're probably doing a top five list of something. He's an irresistible front man. So charismatic. Here's the thing that I saw late at night. I don't know if you know that this is happening right now. I don't know what channel it's happening on,

but at one in the morning, they're playing old episodes of American Gladiator. Oh, from the early 90s? Like, from the original series. And you don't... Maybe your brain is tricking you into thinking it was better than it was, but it's fucking terrible.

Like, even more terrible than the current version with Hulk Hogan. But there was a guy on it who was... who was bone thin, long hair, giant mustache. Was he a gladiator or a contestant? Contestant. His occupation, demolition derby driver. And his name was Purple Roundy. And I thought that was...

His first name was Purple? Purple, yeah. And the weird thing was that the host didn't think, like, I'll latch on to that thing as a thing to talk to him about. He just said, Purple Roundy. Oh, you're a demolition driver. Like, Purple Roundy was completely forgotten in the whole equation. Because he was a host back then.

It was an ex-NFL football player. He was a thick guy with a mustache. It was his first episode was the one that I was. Yeah, it was his first episode on the show. Do you want to move on to a segment called Overheard? I sure do, Dave. Overheard. I got one.

I got one. I can't find it. I got one. You got one? You lead the way. It's really short, and I don't know how you guys usually tell your thing. No, no, no. But it was Lee and I were doing a gig In a high school

We were doing an improv show in a high school And as we were coming into the high school We passed by a teenage girl on a payphone At the high school and she's like Oh my god the principal took my cell phone away Yeah I know As we were walking away And it was like

I had to call you and tell you that I don't have a phone. And that's the only reason why I called. I don't really have anything else, but my phone's been taken away, and I just need to talk to somebody about it. So don't call me. Yeah. And I also am out of quarters. So, oh, my God, I'm so pissed. I haven't used a pay phone in years.

I used a pay phone almost exclusively when I was in London last year because I didn't have a phone. London, Ontario? London, England. Oh, that's a different place. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I still use the big red boxes that are stuffed with pornography. The TARDISes.

Yeah, they got the little porno. You wouldn't understand. They have little cards advertising like men's clubs. Busty McGillis. Busty McGillis. Musty or Busty? Why did you refer to him? Does he know Busty McGillis?

Is that a whole name? He does know. It's a long story. And it's not overheard. It's not an overheard story, so it wouldn't qualify. So we might as well just segue right back into... Keep it rolling. Right along.

What do you got? Oh, no, wait. You've got a really good one. I got one. Here, let me do mine. Okay. Now, the thing to keep in mind during this overheard is that neither of these people are senior citizens, and neither of these people are detectives named Sherlock Holmes.

That's most important to realize during this overheard, because it was at a club. It was easily 12.30 at night. In Vancouver? In Vancouver. A dance club? No, I didn't say a dance club. A private club?

It was a private club. Like a lodge? Yeah, it was like my annual Elks of Dinner where I go up and I make a speech, etc. And one guy was saying emphatically to another, I gotta get my magnifying glass back from you. And also it's irrelevant to know that this podcast Was recorded in 2008 Right, right, right

So that also plays into it In case you were thinking this was from the turn of the century An 1800s podcast If you're listening to this podcast in the 1800s Make sure you crank it And how did you get there? Did it bounce off Saturn? I hope.

I doubt it. We're not on any kind of waves. Let's leave a spot that he can bury something and tell us how he got there. Yeah. So where should he bury it? Because Gastown has been around since the 1800s. So on the corner of Water and Seymour.

Okay. Bury a note. Underneath a stone? It would have to be. How are we going to dig it up? Well, but where in the country? I don't know latitude and longitude. Forget it, old-timey man.

You're too complicated. Yeah. He's literally screaming at the gramophone right now. I have things to say! I have to warn you about the past! My wax cylinder! I have to warn you about the past! That's the best twist on time travel I've heard in a long time.

We talked time travel quite extensively on the last episode. We talked about killing baby Hitler Killing baby Hitler If you had the chance to go back in time What would you do if you had one shot At killing baby Hitler One shot What would you do

I would probably meet myself As a boy Probably 10 Yeah Would you tell yourself secrets Yeah, what age? Probably 10. Yeah. And would you tell yourself secrets? Yeah, and in fact, so secret, I can't really divulge this on the podcast. Fair enough, man.

You don't know if you're going to get a shot at this time travel. I don't want you to spoil the whole event. Yeah. What about you? I don't want to, you know, people talk about it all the time. They say the youth of today, there's so much youth crime. We have to be harsher on the youth. And I blame the parents, and I'm the same way with Hitler.

I don't believe in killing Hitler. I believe in killing his parents, or at least talking to them. What about their grandparents? How far do you go back with them? I always blame the parents. You just go straight to the parents. You can't blame the grandparents. They're sweet and old. And German. But yeah, I blame the parents You just go straight to the parents You can't blame the grandparents They're sweet and old

But yeah I blame the parents Fair enough So you would go back You would do in the parents You would go back I'm selfish I would just go back to me Tell your young self a secret I would do something to annoy whoever came up with time travel

I'd be like let's go back to a minute ago And he'd be like you fucking asshole It's the only chance that we have to do it I just want to, let's go back to a minute ago. And he'd be like, you fucking asshole. It's the only chance that we have to do it. I just want to see what my hair looked like a minute ago. From behind. I wasn't standing in front of a mirror. Wait a second, what did you overhear?

Yeah, oh yeah. Wait a second, guys. Let's go back a second. Sorry, I... No, no, yeah, I like some good appreciating. Alright, I was on the ferry, BC Ferries, a wonderful way to travel. They're our sponsor. Brought to you. Oh, if anyone wants to sponsor us, feel free.

We have a sponsor in the kettle. Number two podcast in Vancouver. Yeah, we've got some irons in the kettle. Number two. Yeah, number two. Number two. CBC doesn't do sponsors. You guys are like Snapple.

Yeah, we're the Snapple. What's number one? Lemonade? Weren't they saying that they were number two? Oh, to Coke? Coke and Pepsi? Did they say they were number three? Remember Wendy from Snapple?

She was a spitfire. She was like the Jared of Subway over time. Hey, what'd you overhear? I was on a ferry. It's like a big boat with cars. And there was a team of... There were teenage girls, and they were on a field hockey tournament trip.

And whenever teenage girls travel in a team on a boat... A gaggle. They talk and giggle loud. It's called a gaggle. And they dress badly. You should call it a giggle. They talk and giggle loud. It's called a gaggle. And they dress badly. You should call it a giggle. It's a giggle. Because that's what they do.

A giggle of teen girls. Teen girl squad. They were talking about, one girl was talking about how she was dating this guy, and she was being herself, and now he's showing his true colors, but before he was just trying to impress her. And she said, he was trying to impress me. I was just being myself. We pooed over the phone. Whoa,

really? Yeah. Wow. Teenagerdom is way different than when I was a teenager. Now, you heard this correctly? Yes. We pooed over the phone. But the favorite part is that she's being herself and she's pooing over the phone. He's trying to impress her by pooing over the phone. But the favorite part is that she's being herself and she's pooing over the phone.

He's trying to impress her by pooing over the phone. But that's the way that the guy would do it. He would try to be like you're pooing, we're pooing, check this out. Check out how weirdly shaped mine is. Yeah, because now they've got the camera phones. They can be right.

Yeah, it took on a whole other, more sinister kids today. Well, our more sinister... Kids today. Well, our imaginations about kids today. That's true. I think we're justified. But there is a point in that relationship, like when you first fart in front of your girlfriend. First fart on your girlfriend.

First do the Dutch oven. Three different days, usually. Hopefully. Well, no, if you run them all into each other you're the one missing out because you're like the jamie fox of that relationship but i understand that completely the girlfriend's like look you know i'm being myself i'm pooing right now and he's like oh yeah i am too i am too and she's like come on you're not like you're trying to impress me i can hear a sign and he's like you know, really, I poo on the phone all the time. How come when you go to a hotel sometimes

there's a phone in the toilet? Because you're talking to the front desk usually and you hate them. Or you want to abuse them in some regard. But it has phone numbers. It's got numbers you can dial out. Oh yeah, you can dial out, but

you're really most often... I'm just wondering, is it such a thing that the hotels are like, we should have that thing? I think that's more for bathtub calls. Ooh, yeah. I think that's more of a European thing. Yeah? I've been at, like, Cranbrook, and they've had it in the bathroom.

Is that in Europe? That's in... Yes. Cranbrook, Norway. I was going to say no, but... It's right near Red Deer, Sweden. Are we going to say Florida?

No, I'm going to say Finland. Red Deer, Florida. Beautiful place for retirees, am I right? Yes. Where are we going from here? Did you have an overheard? No, not really. I can make something up, but no. That's cool. I dig it. I can make something up, but no. All right.

That's cool. I dig it. I'm mad at you. We actually have an overheard sent from a listener. And if you're a listener of ours and you want to send us an overheard, you can either email us and I'll send you my phone number at StopPodcastingYourself. Which is risky. Yep.

StopPodcastingYourself which is risky. Yep. StopPodcastingYourself at gmail.com or we just set up I think we set up a Skype account and we have voicemail on it. So search for

StopPodcastingYourself on Skype or you can do what this listener did and record an MP3 and send it to us. Yeah.

This is a listener from your hometown of Winnipeg, Manitoba. Crazy. No. Yup. It's a... Someone who has a... Nice tie-in.

A podcast there called the Hot Cakes Podcast. And yeah, they seem like a nice enough fellow. Have a listen. Heyham and dave this is tease crossed from the hot cakes podcast uh i haven't overheard for you i was in the grocery store the other day and when i got to the juice aisle there was a man there conversing with a woman uh about the juice trying to explain to her the subtleties of juices. Now, I don't know if this woman was a wife, a sister, an acquaintance, or a complete stranger, but she seemed a little weirded out that he was so adamant that the banana strawberry was a milder flavor.

Juice connoisseur. The end. So what was that? I didn't connoisseur. The end. What was that? I didn't hear the first part. Or something. I'm missing a part of it. He overheard people talking about juice. Juice connoisseurs. And this guy

was taking it a bit seriously. A little bit. It was quite mild. He was bragging. Fair enough. Like a guy picking it like... He was bragging. Fair enough. Like a guy picking out his favorite Lifesaver flavor. I like a strong sun-ripe juice, and I don't like the milder ones. Tetrapak?

Is that what it's called? Tetrapak, the little box? I think so. Yeah, it's a Tetrapak. It's a drinking box. Yeah. Like a juice box. What ever happened to the juice bags, though?

The Capri Suns? Yeah. Whatever happened to them? Those used to be hot stuff. If you go to a weird country, say you're Costa Ricas. I'm listening. Dinosaurs, first of all. Yeah, dinosaurs.

Roam it. And they have... I remember when I went to Costa Rica and I was a choiled. We went to a small community and we bought cola and they wouldn't let us keep the cans because they wanted to keep the five cent deposit

for the cans and the bottles and stuff. So they gave us plastic bags to drink out of. Oh, really? Like they poured it into a Ziploc bag or what? It was... I mean, Ziploc bags are pretty expensive. Oh.

It was like a bag full of bugs. Wow. Yeah. A bloody bug bag. What's up with the mini drinks? The little mini Cokes, mini Sprites. The half cans. You know what I'm talking about?

Like more garbage, less drink. Yeah. I think that's their slogan. Right? Who demanded it? Who said I want... People who can't finish a whole can. That's the face they make, too, when they can't.

When you can't finish a whole can, you should take the remainder of the can, pour it in a cup, and put that in the freezer. Or a bug bag. Or a bug bag. Yeah. Throw it out of Costa Rica. I'm always a fan of donating it to the homeless. So you just drink half? Just pour down onto it.

Open your mouth, homely. Leave it outside. Someone will take it. Homely, is that an nickname for homeless? It's not often. Homies? Homelies? Depends on what they look like.

Yeah. If you're homeless and listening to this podcast, you've got your life together. What's the... Or you've got some hell of an entertainment center. You should pay rent. What's the... Have you ever been to somebody's house

and they've had an open can of coke or something in their fridge like they just had a couple sips and then you open it up and it's like mixing drinks

it's like a flat yeah coke yeah what's going on there what's going on there people that do that absent mindedness

is it is it you're just putting it I'll get back to that you know what I'm gonna come right back and it's gonna be cold and it's still gonna be fizzy have you done it sounds like a man who's done it and then I pass out to come right back and it's going to be cold and it's still going to be fizzy

have you done it? sounds like a man who's done it the question I was going to ask and Dave wasn't as interested but I kind of posed it we do this thing called stun casting

and a couple weeks ago we haven't had a chance to address the explosion of of three posts yeah but it was detailed shit like it wasn't just

somebody going like I disagree with your one pick they laid out you know a twenty odd pick thing of

this person should be played by this person of the Muppet Show if we stunt casted the Muppet Show any input whatsoever if there was a Muppets movie where there's no actual muppets in it right it's all live action live action yeah uh i got two that are going through my head

uh the first one is uh a gonzo yeah should be played by uh jamie farr from mash he's got the same kind of a nose see we haven we haven't had a Jamie Farr. I was thinking Roberto Bellini. Bellini. Oh, nice. Bellini has gone, though. Yeah, because he's fanatic. And he's got that.

And then Animal, the drummer, maybe Bobcat. Bobcat Goldquake. Bobcat Goldquake. We actually, that was the number two criticism we had, was how did we go through a whole list of stunt casting of the Muppets and not mention Bobcat Goatwaith once. And he needs a job. Yeah. Somebody actually

suggested that it could be a one-man show Bobcat Goatwaith called Bobcat Goatwaith Does the Muppets. Does the Muppets. Yeah, I'd watch that. Yeah. Oh God, who wouldn't? That would be an international... Bobcat Goatwaith if you're listening. And he might be. I think it's pronounced Goldthwait

is it Goldthwait? yeah Goldthwait I know that his ex-wife was Nikki Cox what's that like the 10th consecutive reference? I just YouTubed him

like last night because we were talking about him with Mr. Paul Anthony because of that whole he lit Jay Leno's couch on fire lit the couch on fire

and I was like I didn't remember this was that clip online? Did you see it? No, I couldn't find it online. I've seen it and Jay Leno puts it out almost immediately. What happened though? I don't remember this. Bobcat Goldthwait went through a real

I consider it I call it the Bobcat Goldthwait How do you say Goldthwait? Goldthwait awesome phase where he was kind of a punk. He was untouchable. Yeah, because he was on Just for Laughs and he wore a shirt that he had just written on just before he went on stage that said,

Kill Seinfeld. And he was super punky. And that was that same year. He lit Jay Leno's couch on fire during an interview. Like, for no reason he was just really he'd had it with the establishment man so he became the guy and then somehow then he ended up of being a playing a bunny rabbit on a yeah married with children rip off he played a like a puppet he was the voice of a puppet. Interesting. Yeah, that was shortly after, I believe, the

Lighting the Couch on Fire. But ever since then, it's been the sky's the limit for you, Bobcat. He has, actually. Yeah, he's made two critically acclaimed films, and he's... He used to direct the Jimmy Kimmel show. He's well on top now.

And for a long time, he was fucking Nikki Cox. Or at least married to her. He's well on top now. And for a long time, he was fucking Nikki Cox. Or at least married to her. Who's Nikki Cox? We'll show you pictures of her in her heyday. It's gone downhill. Post-Golthwaite. It's gone left of center. I think he'd make a good animal.

Yeah. Anything else? Cropping up? Maybe Howie Mandel as Fozzie. I was just thinking Fozzie. Howie Mandel. What was the recommendation? We had Seth Rogen, I believe. Yeah, that was good.

As a Fozzie. He kind of looks like Fozzie, but he could be a good Rolf. He could be a good Rolf. My favorite was John Hodgman as Bunsen Honeydew. He was the nerdy guy from the Mac commercials. Dr. Bunsen Honeydew. He's the nerdy guy from the Mac commercials. Dr. Bunsen Honeydew. Sorry. He actually prefers Dr.

He was actually, he went. He went to seven years of medical school. Of medical school. Of medical school. Oh, and for any listeners out there who's familiar with Grandpa, Grandpa's in the room right now. Yeah. Having the best head rub of his life.

Grandpa's been licking my wrist. Yeah, well you haven't been stopping him. Well no, but it's hilarious. I think Stephen Colbert could do the eagle. Alan the Eagle. Sam the Eagle. I'm thinking of Alan Alda.

Who would play Alan Alda? Why don't we just have a MASH reunion? Who would be Hot Lips on the new Muppet show? But as Muppets. A Muppet version of MASH. Maybe. Seems like something they would do. Pigs in Korea.

Yes. Yeah. Wasn't there... There was a hospital version they did, didn't they? Yes. Oh, what was that called? It was called... Oh, shit.

Somebody's going to roast us for this, too. It was very much the soap opera general hospital and somebody is gonna write in with what it is I hope they flame us you're not gonna get the emails we're gonna get flamed for it forward them on please

we'll take responsibility for anything in this podcast at least 50% was it pigs? no it was pigs in space it wasn't animal hospital oh man Podcasts. At least 50%. Well, at least one-fourth. Was it Pig? No, it was Pigs in Space. Pigs in Space. It wasn't Animal Hospital. It was... Oh, man.

We're... We're toast. This is why I didn't want to do this. It's because I don't know anything about no Muppet shows. Or... You don't even know the hilarious stuff. It's a Frankenstein. Right.

I'm really shocked that you didn't know that. But, like, that seems like... But, like, who is, like, Kermit and Miss Piggy? Yeah, let's hear some of these. Who are people's popular works? Well, it started with... It all came up because Reggie Watts, our guest, said that Jennifer Aniston would look...

Would be a good Miss Piggy. Yeah. That's how it started. And then who... I came up with Tobey Maguire as Kermit. I was thinking Tobey Maguire. But then somebody... Who apparently hung.

And then somebody stepped in, though, and said that Zach Brant of Scrubs would make a better Kermit. And they said that Tobey Maguire would make a very good Scooter. That's true.

The Hobbit one. Who's that guy? Elijah Wood? He could make a good Scooter? Yeah, he could make a good scooter. Oh, he would be a good scooter. Good call. And then Miss Piggy, I'm thinking possibly Sharon Osbourne? Oh, hey, not bad. This cast is vast.

What about... Standler and Waldorf? The two guys up in the balcony? I don't think anybody put anything in for Statler and Waldorf did they? there was maybe like a John Cleese in there oh that's right it was John Cleese and then another kind of elder statement John Mahoney

totally right as the fatter one who would be his thin counterpart then Milton Berle is he still alive? he's hung though that's how he died, isn't it? My favorite actually was the one that

the guy submitted that said remember Rizzo the Rat? From A Muppet Christmas Carol? I remember that. Steve Buscemi. How good. He could also play Grandpa actually. Steve Buscemi? I don't know If you ever had a grandpa in a movie.

When you do the movie version of this podcast. Isn't that right, Grandpa? Is there a chance of Photoshopping him into a scene in Fargo? He's beshemming it up. He's beshemming it up right now. There's no denying it. I think we're solid, I think. We've done enough damage.

Thanks for the input. Thanks for putting up with me. Our pleasure. And of course, you guys are here both for the Victoria International Improv Festival and the Vancouver. I believe they're both called international festivals. Yeah, it's the V-I-F-F. No, the V-I-I-F. You see? The V-I-F-F. No, the V-I-I-F. You see? The V-I-F-F

is the Vancouver International Film Festival. I know, and I'm pissed off that I've screwed that up. It's alright, but you're in town. Say it again like you didn't screw it up the first time. It's the V-I-I-F. Oh, man. It's the V-I-F-F. No.

And I did that wrong on purpose because it's the third time. Yeah. It's the Veef. It's the Veef. It's the Veef. And you guys are playing in Victoria. You figured out where you guys were playing. Yeah, the Victoria...

Event Center. Event Center. Event Center on Broad Street. From the 2nd to the 4th of October. And then in Vancouver. At the Roundhouse Theater. Oh, you guys are at the Roundhouse. We're to the 4th of October. And then in Vancouver. At the Roundhouse Theater. Oh, you guys are at the Roundhouse. We're at the Roundhouse.

The RH. Beautiful. BRH. The big RH. That's great. And how are you guys doing? Are you on a show? That's October 7th to the 11th.

Are you on your own show? Are you a mix? Is it a mix Saturday night? We're doing some mixed stuff, but on Friday night and Saturday night, we're doing a showcase set of crumbs, like we're doing our thing. And anybody who's listening to this podcast, you'll be well in time, because this will be posted by the weekend. Yeah, and improv is a kind of theater where they just do make-em-ups.

Yeah. It's like juggling. It's like juggling for your brain. For your mind. Yeah. Are we going to have Honeycutt with us? And DJ Honeycutt, who plays music for us, he's going to be flying in and DJing an improvised soundtrack for our improvised funny crap. Really?

Yeah. Wow. And that's going to be pretty... He's honestly one of Canada's best DJs. This guy throws parties. That's fantastic. So for all for the price of admission, you get crumbs and you get DJ Honeycat.

Together doing a... And you guys, I've seen you guys before. You guys are fantastic. I saw you guys at the Sunday Service Comedy Night. You guys were fantastic. So anybody out there that's interested in the Improv Festival, go check them out. Dave, I know you ain't got nothing to plug, and I ain't got nothing either.

But if you want to write us something, particularly something that will blast us for not getting the Muppet thing right or not knowing that title of the thing that we should have known. StopPodcastingYourself at gmail.com is our email address. And you should check out our blog, StopPodcastingYourself.blogspot.com for a recap of this and every episode. And thanks again for

downloading this and listening to us. And we do sincerely appreciate everybody who listens to it. And we hope you guys enjoyed this and enjoy whatever we do next week on another episode of stop podcasting yourself Thank you.