Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 323 - Erica Sigurdson

Episode Date: May 26, 2014

Erica Sigurdson joins us to talk surfing, fibre, and standing ovations.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 323 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name's Graham Clark and with me as always is a man they call Diamond Dave, Mr. Dave Shumka. That's David Lee Roth actually. What?

Yeah, from Grapes of Roth. Is that got to be the name of his... It's my podcast about David Lee Roth's testicles. How many episodes are you up to? Oh, two. We did a left one. Yeah. It's my podcast about David Lee Roth's testicles. How many episodes are you up to? Oh, two. We did a left one. Yeah.

Lefty. Episode one. Lefty. Lefty. David Lefty Roth. And our guest this week, returning guest, and just an all-around delightful, I was going to say perp, but I was like, wait, that's not a short form for a person. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. All-around delightful perp. Can you describe the perp, but I was like, wait, that's not a short form for a person. Yeah, yeah. All around delightful perp.

Can you describe the perp? She's delightful. She's funny. She's a repeat guest on the show. She's Erica Sigurdsson. Thank you for having me. Thanks for coming back. You know?

Yeah, last time was awkward, but I thought I'm going to get over it. Now, last time, I think, was when you told us about you helped deliver a baby. That was the last time you were on? Yeah. And so many people have, like, oh, my God, that Erica story. I think you've really affected some change in some people. I think there's a lot of home births happening thanks to me. Or maybe lack thereof.

True. And now that Abby and I are expecting a baby, we have had a lot of messages. Is Erica going to deliver it? Yeah. I will be just driving through the neighborhood close to Abby's due date. In early September. Just, you know, hey guys! Give me a call.

I've got tongs and hot towels. Yeah, I've got wagon wheels. Oh, should we get to know us? Yeah. Get to know us. Now, are you a fan of the show Call the Midwife? Ring the Midwife? Call the Midwife.

I've watched a few episodes. I haven't got up to fan status yet. I'm pending in their membership file. Yeah, people don't seem to be as gaga over that as they are about Downton Abbey. Yeah. Or Game of Thrones. It seems like those are there. I mean, Game of Thrones is a different

animal altogether. It's a dragon. But it's also, is it British-y? I mean, it's American. Do they have British accents? Well, yeah. Yeah. I mean, it takes place in England. Yeah. In old-timey England. Yeah.

Now, up until a couple nights ago, you did not know that Dave was expecting. It's not. Yep, there it is. No, I saw that somebody on Twitter asked if I was going to deliver your baby. And so I assumed that there was a baby in the world. However, I didn't. You used context clues, unlike right before the show when you're like, what does a dehumidifier do? right before the show and you're like, what does a dehumidifier do?

I like to respect the privacy of people who are bringing forth life until the moment it's coming forth. And then I just shove my head right down there by the vagina. Hey, I don't want to get too personal. Wait a second. I'm getting real personal real quick now uh you just uh you returned you just went on like a crazy five vacation five week vacation yes what's the longest vacation i've been on never even five weeks in my whole life i don't think that's incredible what about summer vacation yeah Yeah. That was eight weeks.

That was a lot of mowing lawns. Like, how many lawns did you mow on your five-week vacation? Exactly. This is what I'm saying. Where'd you go? Tell us all about it. I went to Kauai, Hawaii. Oh, Kauai, Hawaii.

Kauai, Hawaii for three weeks. The big island. No, it's not the big island. What is the big island called? I don't even know. No, it's not the Big Island. What is the Big Island called? I don't even know. No, Maui's Maui. I think the Big Island is actually called, it's the island of Hawaii. It's called Hawaii Junior.

Yeah. I don't really know. I just got off a plane. I was like, this is nice. Yeah. This is a big island. Yeah. Is that the one that Dog the Bounty Hunter lives on?

No, he's dead. Oh, what? Yeah, Dog the Bounty Hunter died. No. Boba Fett killed him. He was surfing and he got his arm bitten off by a shark. That's the island we were on where Bethany Hamilton was, may her arm rest in peace, was attacked by a shark. Soul surfer.

Soul surfer, yeah. When you said Bethany, I was like, the TV show host? Yeah. Oh, could we only be so lucky? Why couldn't you have eaten her arm, Shark? Oh, we'd never hear the end of it. You maniac! What was her thing, Skinny Bitch?

Was that it? I think so. She was the co-writer of Skinny Bitch. Skinny One-Armed Bitch. Well, anyway. Yeah. So you went to Skinny Bitch Island. Yeah.

I went to Skinny Bitch yeah i went to skinny bitch island do they have a monument to that woman's arm okay she was a girl she was 13 yeah she's now a woman on halloween halloween eve halloween eve halloween i guess okay she was surfing on halloween night it's warm in the morning at dawn okay all right But not Halloween Eve. That's not a thing where you lay out a pumpkin for Santa to come and fill with, I don't know, candles? Shark legs.

Razorblades and shark teeth. But she wasn't out in the night time, right? No, she went out at dawn. Okay. And a shark. went out at dawn. Okay. And a shark. Shark got a treat. Yeah.

Yeah. She got the trick. That was the original headline in the newspaper. Local girl gets tricked by shark. Who gets tricked. It's clunky, but. Please send all letters to. But people, people know her story. She's now a soul surfer. Yeah, she's doing great. She is. Yeah. Recently married. Oh, too. But people know her story. She's now a soul surfer.

Yeah, she's doing great. She is recently married. Oh, too? How do you know everything about this woman? Because what I do is when I get a tidbit of information, I Google the shit out of it. Oh, not me. And I know everything now. Who is she married to?

Do you know? She's married to a youth no she's married to a youth pastor um and they just spread the word of shark safety and jesus all over the island just the island no she's not ever leaving uh oh shark safety and jesus will i be reunited with my arm in heaven that conversation probably comes up every couple of days you know what i'm obsessed with and i shouldn't be if she can put her own this she can put her arm back on because you can't no i always see her serving with a ponytail and i'm always wondering how you can do a ponytail with one arm and if you're asking if I've tried it, I have.

Yeah. And? Next to impossible. I bet you she's got a friend that comes over. She's got a husband now. Yeah. But he doesn't know. No.

He doesn't know how to do ponytails. I think you learn. Not like a friend. That's what marriage is all about. Yeah. You compromise. I think when you date a woman with one arm, you learn a few things. How to do a ponytail.

Yeah. How to wash a prosthetic in the dishwasher. Yeah, she doesn't have a prosthetic. Read a book. She doesn't read. Google a book. Google a book. Why does she not use a prosthetic?

She doesn't get disqualified from surfing. Yeah. Oh, because that's considered an advantage? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I understand. And then she got disqualified from surfing. Yeah. Oh, because that's considered an advantage? Yeah. Yeah, okay. I understand. But why...

If I... Oh, man. If I was in the prosthetic game, which I'm not, but maybe someday, I would have all sorts of different... I would make it like my collection. I would collect rare ones and different colored ones. You're not suggesting you would lose a limb to get into this game? No, but if it happened, if that's what happened.

Yeah, I would want one that had like a saw. Yeah, yeah. I would want one that had. Just a fork. Yeah. What about just a cup holder? Oh, that would be great. Like a Starbucks cup holder.

A cup holder. And then I use my other hand to pull the cup out. Or I guess I could bring it to my mouth. Sure, you're right. There was a guy who got his finger cut off and he got a USB key put on the tip of his finger. Like you could, it was like a fake

tip of, for those listening at home, I'm currently pulling at the end of my finger, but not tooting. Smells like farts. Could you get your, like, a prosthetic armrest? And then everyone, someone on the plane would be like, what? What? The person next to you.

That's pretty good. I bet you could. So did you try surfing? I did. Yeah? And? Had you tried before? I tried briefly in Tofino when we were staying at Tim Reichert's house.

Ah, Reich Dog. Yeah, Reich Dog. And we just watched people taking a surf lesson, and Jay and I, we were those people just watching and trying to glean information. And I could never get up on the board. Jay did a couple times. But I was also a little bit heavier then. And now that I'm so svelte and muscular.

You're pretty svelte and muscular. Come on. Yeah, I could jump up and I actually could surf. Although then when I went to the bigger waves, I thought, OK, now let's get serious. Let's do this. And the first wave came and just sent me ass over a tea kettle. And I came up and there was a guy holding my board like he had been sitting there for a good minute waiting for me to surface.

And he's like, are you OK? I'm like, yeah, I guess so. How does that feel to get up on like because I've never attempted. I don't have the core strength. Yeah. We talked about core a lot on my last time on the show. Well, maybe you've got a little bit of a session. Oh, I have a prosthetic core.

It's got a cup holder. It's holding a beer right now. Like, how do you do, like, how do you get, because you paddle out. Yeah. And then when do you decide like up and at them? This is the wave. You kind of learn just to watch the waves. Does the wave choose you?

Yeah, the wave chooses you. And sometimes you try to jump up and the wave's not big enough for you to jump up too quickly. Like the wave comes and you have to jump up as the wave is coming at you? Or like when do you get on the board i because so as soon as you feel a little bit of lift on your board like so you're paddling and then the wave comes and you feel this little kind of like have you ever had like somebody just walk by you in an office and pinch your bum yeah absolutely sure yeah i'm a lady from the 50s. Yeah. That's how you know.

That's how you know. I never see, like you only see people who are learning on the small waves. You only ever see really good people on the big waves. So I don't know what like a really good surfer on small waves looks like. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bored out of their tree. We did have a professional surfer come over because when I tried to get the bigger waves, he's like,

you need to, he's like, can I give you some advice? And I was like, yes, more free surf lessons. And he's like, he's like, get out of my way.

Yeah. Stay off of surf muscle beach. He's like, these waves are just going to keep flipping you over. He's like, you need to go back over to junior section. I was like, okay.

I've been watching you. Yeah, and I don't like what I see. Was the surfing teacher like a surf... Do they talk like surf dudes? No. Well, that's unfortunate. There's a couple that you see.

Yeah, there's got to be a gnarly guy here and there. When you get off the plane in Hawaii, do they give you the flower lei? No, that did not happen. Did you eat any poi? Nope. Did you leave a trail of breadcrumbs for the Brady parents to find you? No. Did you eat a roasted pig?

No. What did you even do? Did you sing Blue Hawaii? Yeah, obviously. Did you see tiny bubbles anywhere? Yeah. We cooked a lot at the house because we were there with Jay's family. Oh, this was a family.

This was a big outcome. The first two weeks was the whole family. And then the last week was just Jay and I because it was kind of cheaper to stay in Hawaii for another week and go to Japan from Hawaii, which is where we went next, than to fly home. So we stayed. Fair enough. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know if it actually was, because it's really expensive there.

I've never been. Dave, Hawaii? Oh, Hawaii? Yeah, I've been. And did you get the flower? How old was I? I was nine, maybe? So you weren't paying for anything. No. No, they've been. And did you get the flower? How old was I? I was nine, maybe. So you weren't paying for anything.

No. No, they didn't. I haven't paid for anything in my whole life. But no, no flower, no lays. So I wonder if that's a thing that doesn't happen anymore. I think when you go to the big resorts, it probably happens. Yeah. Like when you're paying through big resorts, it probably happens. Yeah. Like when you're paying through the nose to stay at a place.

Like you're like, I want all the things. Yeah. Except I'd never want to leave the pool and I'm just going to stay inside and not go explore Hawaii. That's what those. Did you go explore? Did you go to a volcano? There is not volcanoes. Oh, we've been lied to about Hawaii.

Volcano? There's not volcanoes. Oh, we've been lied to about Hawaii. I was just imagining roasted pigs just galloping through the streets. The luau's were like $150 each to go to a luau. And I thought, you know what? Oh, I thought they were just like, you know, like breakout all the time, like yoga classes in Vancouver. And you get pulled up on stage and you find out you're the best hula dancer in all of Hawaii.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're the reincarnation of the hula llama. And then Adam Sandler comes and tells me the story of our children. Of your 49 first dates. But we did go. We went hiking, of course. We went on a big hike to a waterfall. And a guy proposed to his girlfriend. So romantic. I know. Did she say yes?

Yeah. Risky. Thank goodness. Because if you do... Was that at the top of the waterfall or the bottom? It was at the bottom. Will you marry me? And then he gets hit in the head by a giant rock. Damn it. Because that would have been...

It was a pretty long hike and it would have been a really awkward hike back had she been like i'm just not ready for this yeah i think you say yes no matter what and then you just you back out you back out as soon as possible yeah to help him save face like he's already paid for the luau 150 bucks i'mver. It's $150. I'm never going to see it again. After the luau, I'll tell him that I'm not ready for this kind of commitment. Yeah. Yeah. Boy, but I got to get some more pig. First, some more.

What is poi? Poi is taro root. Oh, gross. It's fine. It's a sweetened root. Okay. But you didn't have any of that. No.

When I was in Thailand, they have at McDonald's, instead of apple pie, they have taro. Apple pie. That would have been better. So you went hiking. You saw beautiful. You lived in like, you lived in paradise. We did. And then you went to Japan.

And then we went to Japan. Would you have been to Japan before? Yeah, that was my fourth time to japan wow japan what uh where tokyo uh we flew into osaka and then we did three and a half days in osaka and then we went down to tokyo and did the rest of the time there oh yeah you gotta go to to to go to Tokyo. You got to do it. What did you see? What did you do? So the first three days was, because Jay was getting his Shihan, so it's like his fifth degree black belt.

It's actually his purple belt. So now he's like... Wait, it goes black then purple? Yeah. And then once it's purple, you explode. You take on another form, form of dragon. Yeah. And what is black belt in Taekwondo?

Jiu-jitsu. Jiu-jitsu. Yeah. How many moves would it take him to kill me? Two? Would he be able to kill me in two moves? What do you think? Three?

What's the fewest moves he's killed someone in? Off the record? This is off the record, right? This? What's the fewest moves he's killed someone? Off the record? This is off the record, right? This is all off the record. Two. Definitely two moves. Ha-ya. Yeah, that's mostly, so it's three days of training, mostly in ha-ya techniques.

Sure. And a couple, like, finish him. So it was three days there. Was he, he was fourth level before. Yeah. Did he have to go through these three days or was it just a formality? Did he qualify in Canada? And then could he have been turned around, turned away?

No. Well, because they had gone last April, him and there was four other guys from our dojo who were all getting this. Yeah, Ken, Ryu, Blanca. Yeah, Ralph. It's awesome. So they had all gone to Japan to train. And then so this was kind of the big, the big, and there's a huge banquet and like. They're on the front page of the Japan newspaper.

Yeah, like there's a lot of dignitaries there. Like this banquet. Really? Yeah, it's a big deal and so and then so he was like all dressed up in the ceremonial kimono and then we went to the shrine and into the temple and there's like this whole ceremony with a buddhist monk and it was pretty cool but so so the does he have to pass a test or he just, this is the ceremony Everything is a test, Grant Right

I didn't study I'm freaking out, man Can I copy up on you? I've said too much Did he cram so much jujitsu the night before? Yeah, I just came into the room and he threw me to the ground

in a very not sensual way. The hotel rooms are so small there, too. How small are they? So small. Because we had all of our crap from Hawaii, too. Whole case full of coconuts. Old timey surfboards. Yeah.

No, we had like flippers and snorkels and i was like we should have sent these home with your parents well you didn't have to show up at the ceremony in them that was your idea that was my outfit but so this was just he goes that this is a ceremony there it's not or did he have to do it? Osaka was three days of training. Okay. And then we went down to Tokyo. And when he got to Osaka, they were like, you'll never be ready in three days.

Yeah. And he's like, no, I'm going to cram. Cue the music. And then there was a montage. Yeah. And then they made it. And then. So now he has a purple belt?

Yes. Is he constantly breaking boards with his head? Yes. Can he break a board with his head? No. With his hand? Probably. It doesn't come out a lot.

It would if I could. If I could break boards with my hand or head, it would come up all the time. I can break boredom with my hand. I think you're thinking of karate. I'm not thinking of anything. I don't know anything. I think you're thinking of macrame. The art of making plant holders out of yarn.

What is, is that the top level? Did you just drink poison? You made a face. Oh, look at that. It's from Hawaii. Yeah, I put some post-workout powder in my water bottle, and I cannot get rid of the taste of it. No, fair. And I don't own a dishwasher. I hate that stuff.

That's gross. So what is Purple It? Yeah, and what's post-workout powder? Can't wait. I don't know. It's from that VEGA, VEGA One brand. You're naming things we would never know about. Anyway.

Oh, VEGA Martyrs. It's like protein powder. Is that like the powder you put in when you get new flowers? Yeah. You put in the water? You know when you get like aspirin and there's always that little packet in there and says do not eat? Yeah.

What you don't know is you can break it open, dump it into your water, and it helps you build muscle twice as fast. And it makes your water taste super gross. Yeah. Every time you drink it. It reminds you not to drink as much water. You know what? 90% of the stuff in the world makes your water taste super gross. Yeah, that's true.

Yeah. There's only like syrup and really syrup. Yeah. It's the only one that makes it taste good. Well, I'm like, you went to the cat cafe that we had previously discussed with some, I can't remember who, another guest. Yeah. And people are screaming at their iPhones right now because they know who. Yeah, of course.

But what is it and how gross is it to have that many cats around things that you're eating and drinking uh okay so first of all it's 90 cat 10 cafe oh okay it's more like um a cat place that has vending machine like vending machines. Like, vending machines are really big in Japan. Like seven-story size. Seven-story size. Like you have to put it in and then just watch the thing fall. Yeah, I got it. I'm familiar with the idea of being big in Japan. So it's basically like, let's say, an apartment,

like a one-bedroom apartment that has 18 cats in it and it's it's not as do you tip the cats no like tip them with money yeah there's no tipping in japan at all okay so i was being ridiculous yes they're part of the whole system of service oh okay they just give their best service and no tip required. Is that really a thing? Yeah. They don't tip in Japan. In fact, if you try to tip them, they will run down the street after you and try to return

your money. Oh, that's funny. I would do it just for that. Yeah. Just for that. I would bring Usain Bolt, world's fastest man, get him to tip and then run away from people. I would tip somebody, get him to chase me, and then i'd convince a girl that guy's chasing me

make out with me because i'm in trouble i'll chase you that's what it takes you need to brush up on your japanese probably before you do that or you will be arrested for assault oh yeah well i mean Well, I mean, sure. Absolutely. I mean, but it wouldn't be a trip abroad if I wasn't arrested at least once for some sort of lewd act. So the cat cafe,

any other weird Japanese stuff that you saw? Like, what are they? Just vending machines? Can you get, like, a cup of coffee? Or tea, I guess? Everything. Ice cream, coffee, tea. Does everything come out of a vending machine?

Are there humans there? There are humans, but a lot of restaurants... That's why you don't tip. It's because it's all vending machines. That'd be ridiculous to put in more money. But like a lot of restaurants have iPad type of things on the wall, and you just punch in what you want, and then people bring it over to you. Yeah, I can see that tipping. Like our hotel in the lobby just had vending machines full of beer which

the canadians would like we would just sit and i could see like the americans and the europeans were kind of like oh it's noon what are you guys doing and we're like oh we're drinking we're on vacation oh the uh vending machine opens at noon. We're just waiting around until it opens up. Do you ever see people? I don't see people waiting outside of bars. No, liquor stores. When I'm driving to work in the morning, I will see people

waiting outside of Canadian Tire, which opens at 9. Gotta buy a drill. Best Buy, which opens at 10, and it's the employees wait, they can't even go in yet. So they're waiting to be let into their

job. Yeah. In the rain. I've done that before. Why don't they hang out in Canadian Tire? It opens at 9. That's true. Right next door. They'll let a job application while you're there. No frills the uh grocery store there's i guess every day they have some deal yeah and the know-it-alls are are lined up being

like i'm gonna get that sixth banana have you ever waited outside the like i found that people that are at a liquor store waiting for it to open are at the opposite end of the spectrum of like really, really sad or like just super organized. Like people that are like, okay, tonight we're having a dinner party. Got to get the wine. I'm going to go there at 10 a.m. And so there's just this mix. Yeah, me too. I also have to do that.

People who got up early or people who haven't been to bed. Yeah. The guy's like, what do you serve with fish people who are super familiar with the fact that it doesn't open till nine and someone was just like why isn't it open yeah what time is it um yeah what's the biggest gap of time in this city that you would have to go where there's no alcohol being sold seven hours because some bars close at three oh really yeah i don't know i'm in bed by 10 yeah it would be it'd be like five or six hours it'd be like enough time to certainly like sober up unless you load it up yeah on that last one yeah huh

because yeah anyways i'm just plotting out uh my retirement what would yeah what would you i think your best bet is like a spirit a liquor like getting a cheap bottle of uh vodka at nine o'clock right before the liquor store closes because you don't need refrigeration a cheap bottle of drambuie yeah you know what they sell rubbing alcohol all night oh yeah but then you're really in that you know yeah i've never drank rubbing i think if you're drinking rubbing alcohol all night. Oh, yeah. But then you're really in the, you know. Yeah. I've never drank rubbing alcohol. I think if you're drinking rubbing alcohol, you've also removed a lot of the planning out of it. Yeah, that's true.

So we could probably just table that. All right. I need to drink this much rubbing alcohol to last me till 9 a.m. Yeah. Yeah. And then it's right back to beer again. Yeah. Then it's back to chardonnay oh um but yeah so like you and you survived and you made it back i guess japan's a pretty safe place hawaii as well it's especially safe when you're traveling with 28 martial artists

oh wow not a lot of people will mess with you is there like a pack oh yeah matching jackets we had a rope and everybody held on to it like little kids matching set the buddy system um what uh what is your team called group the dojo it's just called the dojo no no i meant that's the our dojo is sadohana dojo oh sadohana one of the finest yeah ask for it by name um dave what's going on with you oh not a heck of a lot um i uh we just had a long weekend in Canada. Oh, yes. And that was fun. All of us, not just Dave. Yeah, no, we.

We did in Canada. And I had a beard before. And it's been getting warm. And I don't usually hold on to a beard for very long. This was a while you had it. I had it like six months, yeah. And so I shaved it off this weekend. But you kept a little mustache.

I kept a mustache for three days. For the whole long weekend. And it was, it's always weird. You looked so, with the glasses and the mustache, you looked so much like a dad. It was great. Yeah, thanks. Yeah, thanks. But I, yeah, so like, it always just takes me a few days to realize, like, whenever I go up to like a cashier and they give me a weird look, I'm like, why are you looking at me weird?

I don't say it out loud, but it's, you do notice that people treat you differently. You say, what's the matter, you? Yeah, I have a big Italianian mustache i'm i'm always uh you know oh you mean when you had the mustache people are looking at you yeah oh i thought you meant the difference between having a beard and not having no mustache the mustache days yeah because you don't feel you don't feel like you you don't have weight on your upper lip you don't notice i don't know but just a mustache there's only a couple things you can be as an adult. Like, you know, you're early Walter White.

Yeah, you're a cool cop. You're a cool cop, yeah. Well, you think you're cool, but the kids and whatever. I'm a pretty cool cop. with the kids I'm a pretty cool cop I wonder when I see a guy with a mustache

it's either he's like survived like he's been around since the 70s and he's always had that mustache and he's like super tough

or or he's a chem teacher I think those are the only things I can think of a chem teacher? yeah

or maybe maybe a minister would ministers have mustaches? Not the kind that I want to be close to. You want to be close to, like, a youth pastor. Yeah. Who will marry a soul surfer. Hamilton.

I think maybe people that have a cleft lip might have a mustache. Oh, yeah, like a Joaquin Phoenix in Ur. In hair. In Ur. Who looks good with a mustache me yeah no well i've always whenever i grow a mustache or have a mustache i usually have it after a beard i'm always like oh this isn't gonna last oh this is not good but this last time i caught myself a few times being like, yeah, this might work. I liked it. I liked it a lot. The pictures, they...

Some pictures say a thousand words. These said a million, and they were all, yes, please. Do you ever see someone with a mustache, and you're like, oh, that's an attractive mustache? I find it hard to look at people now with mustaches or guys, obviously. People in general with mustaches. For being inclusive. I not think that it's just, it's just not natural. It's like they're trying to do something with it.

You know what I mean? Like some people just have a look and it's like, that's their look. But everybody I see with a mustache, I'm like, ugh, stop trying so hard. You're like, that's not your look. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it does. It is trying really hard because it's not even that you're going out of your way to be weird, but you're trying really hard not to shave it.

What about somebody that has a mustache and does like a little waxing with it? Like a dastardly? Is that like that bad news bears there was i was about to whisper into the microphone come close podcast come close bumpers um there's one of the guys that was he was like a high up guy at at the taikai in japan and he was like he had one of those crazy twisty mustaches but he was very stylish. He was from somewhere in Europe. And his girlfriend was like a model, like drop-dead gorgeous.

And I just was like looking at her and looking at him. And I was like, what is with this mustache? Like the crazy, like twisted all at the ends and like pokes out a good inch on each side. Oh, so not curled up. No, just straight out.

Wow. Huh. And I didn't know if that was a thing. Maybe he's very wealthy and eccentric. Possibly. He's got a lot of confidence. He's got a lot of confidence. He's got a lot of confidence.

Women find that irresistible, I'm told. I guess. That's the number one quality they look for after all the other qualities. Women spend most of their time trying to resist things. The straight-out mustache, though, wow. Is he like the magician in Frosty the Snowman? Did he have that? I don't know.

He was not a good dude. No, is he bad? Well, it used to be that curled up meant bad guy right anybody with a waxed mustache was a bad guy except for salvador dolly he was the one guy with a waxed up mustache that was like hey he's a good dude yeah that guy's all right but i don't know yeah it's a tough it's a tough look for... I don't know. I thought you pulled it off. Because that's every day you're deciding to twist it.

You are... Well, otherwise, it droops down at the side, doesn't it? And then you just have a hair hanging down on each side of your lip. Well, that's a look unto itself, right? So you had a mustache for a while. Yeah. And the other thing, this was pretty funny, and I'm going to try to keep it as dignified as possible. But Abby, my wife, and her own person, and the future mother of my child, she's pregnant.

Her body's going through changes. Sure. she's pregnant she's going her body's going through changes sure um and so as part of that she has uh started taking metamucil which is a uh a poo drug it's a powder you put in your water yeah after workouts um it is like a yeah it's a digestive aid and she was raving about it she's like this stuff is the greatest and it's it's just fiber and it basically and i've been told lately that like oh humans can't physically eat enough fiber. So, I mean, everyone should take Metamucil. Oh, sure. But Abby was raving about it.

I want to go to a Metamucil rave. It lights out very early. It's mostly old people. The music's very soft. And it's from the 40s. It's a lot of Glenn Miller. And it's from the 40s. It's a lot of Glenn Miller. But she was, and I was like, you know what?

My digestion could be better. Yeah. So I started taking it. Oh, man. This is the thin edge of the witch. What's that mean? It's just like mustaches and Metamucil. There's a whole lifestyle change happening here I've never heard that expression before

so I start taking it and it's not great the benefit of this product is not the benefit I'm experiencing and so like I'm not seeing the results that i'm desiring and i'm i explained this to abby and she was in the kitchen with me and she's just about to leave the kitchen and she she loves the stuff and the greatest part of this is that she inadvertently burned me so bad, but she didn't mean to. Because I'm explaining my problem, and what she should have said, or what she intended to say, was,

Oh, that's not the kind of problem I've been having. Or, you know, I haven't noticed that in myself. But as she's leaving the room, she just says, Not my problem. Not my problem. You're on your own, Dave. Super dismissive. Not my problem. Yeah.

You're on your own here, bucko. I've never, maybe, I don't know. It feels like metal music would have been a thing that I would have done to see. Recreational? Yeah, to see what it did. Because it's out there and people are doing it. I want to be able to communicate. Yeah, you want to communicate.

Like your social circle and you're the only one. Oh, don't I have egg on my face? I don't have a Metamucil story. Yeah, I'm trying to fake my way through it. And then you put the pills in your butt. And I'm like, no, that's not how you do it. It's water, you idiot. You've never done it.

This guy's a total Metamucil virgin. So does it taste gross? Is it all swampy when you drink it? No, no. It's... The texture's not great. But they have a fruity-flavored one. Can we all go get a scoop of this?

Take it. And then we'll phone back in about get a scoop of this? Take it. And then we'll phone back in about an hour to each other and report it. Sure we can. Yeah. If you don't mind me screaming into the phone. I'm sure it would just be a disaster. It's fine.

It's exactly what you're imagining it being. It's not. Oh, really? You're still very much in control of everything. What's the one that, you know, Dumb and Dumber or whatever that they use? Oh, yeah, X-Lax. So that would be the... Yeah, that's a laxative. This is just fiber.

You're not supposed to take that every day. A laxative. But Metamucil, that's an everyday thing, right? I think it's an everyday thing. but Metamucil that's an everyday thing I think it's an everyday thing do you ever watch TV and then the ads that are on in between the show are like for Metamucil

and insurance and you realize oh this is a show for olds you're like I'm watching an old man show yeah I used to when I was a kid they would show ads for Xlax but the chocolate ones they looked so delicious I wonder yeah that's something i would also do just to see just to experience it you know x did you ever nope but i would

so chocolatey yeah well i just would be interested just to see like set a timer uh-huh see see what you know yeah like a scientist yeah yeah exactly like a toilet scientist you know one day outside of where was the first place you did the laugh gallery Elko Cal

Elko Cal yeah and so at the time I still smoked cigarettes and I was outside and for some reason sometimes people

just want to tell me things and this guy stopped and said do you know how many days you have to eat only corn before you do only corn? This is the kind of one, three. And now I can like that will stay with me until the day I die. It is burned. Oh, I hope it's your last words Corn bud

That was a vice magazine they did a they did a like photographic evidence of that oh come on vice i know pushing the limits of me of me being able to bury you oh boy so yeah that's me yeah mustaches of mademoiselle and matlock from m to m to m the david shimko story uh yourself what's up with you i did a couple of i went i went to a theater i went to a show i went to like a play what yep you know better than to do that yeah a splashy broadway. Huh? Yeah. Spamalot. The Monty Python musical. The touring production of Spamalot.

That's right. And here's the thing. We've all done the comedies and stuff. These people... You mean like stand-up comedies? Yeah. These people in this production are so talented. Like, they literally knew how to do, like, eight different styles of dancing. Because there's all these, like, different styles of dancing in the show.

And they can all sing. And they all had, like, impeccable comic timing. And, like, I just feel like I got nothing. After watching them do that, I was like, that used to be, you used to have to be able to do all those things just to consider yourself, like, in the entertainment industry. Yeah. Like your George Burns. Yeah. Like, he could do some of those things, right?

All of them. Yeah. But, like, do you ever feel that? Constantly. Constantly. Not constantly. But there was some switchover, maybe in the 70s or something, where you could just be a comedian. Yeah.

Or you could just be a singer and you didn't have to know how to dance. Yeah, you don't need to know how to dance. If a comedian started working tap dance into their act now or like finishing every set. Wouldn't that be Jimmy Fallon basically? Oh god. I said comedian. Or worked like they had a signature

song that they did at the end of their act. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It would be a laughing stock. But I mean like isn't, I don't know. But that's what makes comics comics is because our parents never put us in anything. I could have been somebody had my parents put me in baseball or tap dance or singing. Did your parents not put you in any? No, they took you to the track.

I was in brownies. Yeah, they took me to the track. I was in brownies for two weeks. Okay. And then I literally remember collecting leaves on the side of the road from my leaf badge or something. And I was just like this. That's what they told you. Clean up our gutters.

You're getting your leaf badge. And I was just like, this is the stupidest thing ever. You weren't wrong. I'm like, Mom, I'm not going back there. That is really dumb. Well, that is the stupidest thing ever. You weren't wrong. I'm not going back there. That is really dumb. Well, that's not your parents' fault. You chose not to go back. Yeah, but also, what was brownies going to get me out of life?

My parents signed me up for so much stuff, I hated all of it. Yeah. I wanted to stay home. Yeah, I don't know. I just couldn't get over it. I wanted to stay home. Yeah, I don't know. Anyway, like, I just couldn't get over it. It's like, man, these people can do all these, they got all these skills. Yeah, but they didn't write the play.

They didn't. No, that's true. They didn't write the play. But they, you know what I mean? Like, sometimes you just, like, I don't know. They're making the jack off motion. See? That's what comedians have. I don't know. And making the jack off motion. See? That's what comedians have. I don't know.

Like, there's tons of talented actors out there who are waiting for someone to give them a role. Like, they're auditioning and auditioning. And it's hard. But it's not, you're not like, I don't know. It's a different model than, you know, setting, like, trying to create your own thing. Right, yeah, yeah. Well, yeah, and then, so the show was really good. And then at the end, there was kind of like, you know, it's like that moment where you're like, is this going to be a standing ovation?

Anytime I'm in a theater. So there was like enough of a contingent that stood up during the first round of applause where I was like, okay, that's not enough to force my hand. But then during kind of like the second encore, everybody started. Wait, there were encores? Well, there was like a final song and then a final, final song. Oh, well then you...

See, people should... Here's... We are the worst in Vancouver, on the West Coast, maybe even in all of Canada, but especially on the West. We are the worst with standing ovations. People are like,

I don't know. It's like these people are singing and dancing and like... I know. Everything. And I'm like, they put on this great show. Get off your feet and give them a fucking standing ovation.

Does that kill you so they don't go back to their hotel? Get off your feet. Stand on your hands. Yeah. You have to get up to leave the theater anyway. That's true. You are halfway there. You're just doing.

Clap while you put your coat on. But that idea of a final song and a final final song, there's really just the one final song. It's not an encore. It's not optional. They're doing the final final song. They're doing the final final. But it was like, this is the end of the show. And everybody's like, yay.

And then they did a reprise of Always Look on the Bright Side of Life. Could we get a couple bars, please? You know it. reprise of always look on the bright side of life. Okay. Could we get a couple bars, please? You know it. I don't need to waste anybody's time. You have a beautiful voice. You show it off more often. And they... Anyway, so everybody stood up

and standing ovation. But you're right, we are the worst when it comes to... So you did get a standing ovation at the... Or they did give a standing ovation at But you're right, we are the worst when it comes to it. So you did get a standing ovation at the final. Or they did give a standing ovation at the final, final. Maybe everyone was wise and they were like, Hey, idiots, idiots, don't stand up. Yeah, the show's not over. Don't clap for the fucking credits of a movie.

That's kind of true because it was in the program that there was going to be this reprise. They didn't just spontaneously do it. Yeah. And then the other thing this week that was standing up related was I went to Morgan Brighton, past guest, was going to like a charity breakfast. For kittens. It wasn't actually for kittens, but that would have been completely exactly what you would

expect. Yeah. It was like a morning time breakfast charity thing. I didn't really know it was a charity thing. A morning breakfast? Well, I don't know what time you guys... Dave, you wake up early. Erica, I can't speak for you.

I eat breakfast before 10.30 because that's when McDonald's stops selling it. There you go. And you're an early riser, right? Yeah. Yeah, you don't have curtains. You just wake up with the sun. I do wake up with the sun.

Wow. I don't. I got curtains. I got curtains, and I hang a sheet over top of them, so it's super dark. But yeah, this was like 7.30 in the morning. This is when this breakfast was. And it was fine. The breakfast was fine.

But then there was a thing after. Were you supposed to perform at this thing? No, no. You were just a guest. Just a guest. Because Morgan's date for it backed out the last second. Or slept in the last second. So I went and...

He backed and bedded out. Okay, that was a stretch. That was a stretch. I apologize. No, it was good. No, it was good. He should feel happy. They backed and bed it out

so uh at the you know and there was speeches and stuff and i was just eat like just eating as much as i could and um and then they said this thing like okay uh we're raising money it's eats the most has to give $100. Got a scale on the way out. And we weighed you on the way in. So don't try and screw around. Thank God I have this Metamucil. It doesn't work that way.

So then they, like, I forgot that it was a fundraiser so i was just eating and eating and then they said okay everybody who can afford to pledge a thousand dollars stand up and like a couple people stood up and then i was like oh no they're gonna go all the way down the line like i'm eventually gonna have to stand. So you start crawling under the table. I borrow a bow tie and pretend I'm a waiter. Oh, I'm standing anyways. Anyways, so then I had to stand up. And then everybody was standing up.

Wait, did you and Morgan stand at the same range? Yeah. I may ask what that range is. 100? Was it 100? It was lower than 100. 50? Yeah. May I ask what that range is? 100? Was it 100? It was lower than 100. 50? Maybe.

Or lower. But, you know, I stood up in the 50 or lower range, so it could have been 50. Sure. For all anybody knows. And, oh, man. But that was, like,

as soon as they started going down, I was like, oh, man. This is awkward. I should have just stood up at the 500 and then just, well, they're not going to double check. I should have stood up at the 1,000 and then just given, here's a 20. I think it was, I misunderstood. Let's see. I ate one Danish, so that's like $3.

Eggs are like a buck each. The waitress was Japanese, no tip. Anyway, so... Well, you know what? I think Eric is giving us a very sophisticated sign language. Maybe we should take a break. Do we want to move on to something? Yeah, let's move on to overheards.

This is Biz. And I'm Teresa. And we host a show called One Bad Mother, a comedy podcast about parenting. Not a parenting podcast. Guess what? We both just had babies. Again. Guess what? We both just had babies.

Again. Check out the show enjoyed by breeders and ballers alike on iTunes or MaximumFun.org. I'm Keri Poppy. I'm Ross Blotcher. And we make a show. Oh no, Ross and Keri. Oh no. We investigate fringe science.

Spirituality. Religious groups. Alternative therapies. We put ourselves through a lot of uncomfortable situations. So that you don't have to. Because really, why would you? For example, I watched a tube be inserted into Ross's anus. That's true, but it sounds terrible out of

context. We've tried penis and breast enlargement pills. We spent six months undercover becoming Mormons. We hung out with the 9-11 truthers. The UFO cult, the Raelians. And we're going to do more. It's one of the newest shows on MaximumFun.org. Overheard.

Overheards. A segment in which we share things that we've overheard. It's as simple as that. And Eric was saying before we started that you had one almost immediately following the last time you were on the show. You've kept it. Now, actually, before we get to this, I believe we for our 300th episode, we asked each other, was it trivia? Yes. Yes.

And one of the trivia questions was, what is the greatest overheard of all time? And it was your first one about Jay and it uh jay and his mother yeah there was a cat yeah oh there was some pretty good doozies on our trip to hawaii too you can share more than one you're not limited they're they're they now happen too often where that she's just got no idea what we're talking about oh come on give us an example i can't think of one off the top of my head i'll call it in often where that she's just got no idea what we're talking about. Oh, come on. Give us an example. I can't think of one off the top of my head.

I'll call it in if I don't get it. Okay. Go ahead. Whenever you're ready. Because I do have one from Japan too, but. Japan. Japan. Nippon, as they call it.

Oh. That's where that slur comes from. So I was getting my nails done at a profession nail on Robson Street. And this woman sat down next to me with her daughter. And the woman was trying to, she was like, you know, my friend Deborah. And the daughter was like, no, I don't know your friend Deborah. And her mom was like, you know my friend Deborah. And the daughter was like, I don't know your friend Deborah.

And she's like, Deborah, my friend that peed in the Tim Hortons cup. And then the girl, like, I was like, what? And the girl was just like, I still don't know who Debra is. I thought that was a lovely way. You know this vagrant. A lovely way to be defined. Yeah. Well, you know, you're defined by your greatest action.

Yeah, sure. What we do in life echoes in eternity. My mom would always do that. She would always try it, like jog our memories, say like, oh, do you remember Matthew? And, you know, you'd be like, I'm not sure. You know, you played soccer with him and uh and uh you know he went to different high school than you and and you're like i don't know i'm still not i have freckles and kind of brown hair and and he like used to wear this kind of jacket or whatever and then like suddenly you'd be like oh yeah i kind of i kind of know what you're talking about yeah he's dead died in the mines on the rigs yeah however people die

um my mom would do the same thing but with people i had no like i would seriously never i've never run into these people you know judy she's my best friend oh uh since when oh i don't know her last name. Wait, Mom, has she ever peed in any sort of cup? Oh, I'm sure. You don't know Judy. Judy likes to party. Dave, do you have an overhurt?

Oh, boy, what do I have in terms of an overhurt? Oh, here's one that's not fun. Oh, no. A house in my neighborhood. Like, this is, I guess it's a bummer. I guess it's not funny. But it's certainly noticeable. And there's a house that has, it's almost like a tower on one side.

It's like one, what do you call it? It's almost like a tower on one side. It's like one... What do you call it? It's like a castle. At the corner of a castle, there's like a circular bit. I know what you mean. But if it's just in a house, it's not... Just pretentious.

Yeah. But it's not even in a super nice house. But like with guards would stand at the top of that circular bit? In theory. But it's just an architectural feature from a house that's kind of not a great house. Okay. Anyway, I guess the people who live there aren't doing so great. And on that part of the house, they have spelled out, in Christmas lights, debt slaves.

Oh, no! Wow. In Christmas lights, though. Yeah. So it's festive. Yeah, well, I mean, how do real slaves feel about that? Oh, that's true. You know?

Like, it's kind of like... Yeah, it's like... Yeah, you know. I mean, we're the actual slaves. Yes, debt slaves. And should you be spending that money on Christmas lights? But do you think it's because...

There's very little upside to this. There's very little funny to find. Well, but I think we found it. I think we found whatever funny was there, you know? Yeah. I think we did a proper amount of... I mean, you know, it's rough out there. Oh.

You kidding me? Pimp or otherwise, it's hard out there. It's hard out there for a pimp. Or someone who's just a bunch of debt. Yeah. A debt slave, if you will. Oh, you're a slave to it. That's what that Britney Spears song is about.

Is a debt slave and a wage slave Same difference What's a wage slave? Somebody who's living check to check A debt slave has debt though On top of that A debt slave is worse You'd rather be a wage slave than a debt slave I'd rather be neither

Well no you gotta be a slave to somebody Bob Dylan taught us that Really? What song? Slave Driverlave Driver. It's one of his albums, Slave Driver. It was a very unpopular album in the 90s. Oh, it was one of his... His grunge album. Oh, really? Bob Dylan's grunge album. Yeah, Slave Driver. That was the title track. Did Bob Dylan have a grunge album?

Yeah. Slave Driver. uh that was the title track did bob dylan have a grunge album yeah neil young was the godfather of grunge yeah and uh it's like bob dylan was kind of like the grandfather that doesn't come around a lot sure yeah because he was too busy driving slaves yeah okay i don't remember if the concept of the album was that he was the slave, or he was the slave driver, or he was against slave driving. Or he was the master's driver, but he was technically a slave. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was in charge of the car.

He was slave chauffeur. Well, this is awful. I checked out a while ago. Yeah, no kidding. At one point, I literally thought you were starting to fall asleep. Yeah. Kind of a cozy, you know, where you kind of tilt your head into your... This is the kind of conversation I would lull you to sleep.

Yeah. Now, Graham. Yeah. Are you a debt slave? No, I guess I'm not. What's your debt situation like? It's fair to Midland. Fair to Midland?

Manageable? Yeah. I'm doing all right, I guess. I'm not a slave to it. What about credit card? Credit card debt? Of course. Yeah.

Really? Well, yeah. Doesn't everybody have credit card debt? That was the worst debt to have. Oh, no. It'll be fine. It works itself out, I think. Yeah, doesn't everybody have credit card debt? That was the worst debt to have. Oh, no. It'll be fine. It works itself out, I think. Yeah, right?

Are we sending you helpful tips? You know what? Don't worry about it. You've got 100 years to pay this off if you just pay the minimum. Yeah, yeah, yeah. See, what are they going to do? Most of my debt is to furniture stores that told me I didn't have to pay until 2016. But that year's coming around.

Oh, boy. Not enough. I have something to say about it. I got my last credit card bill was like for $60 or something. And they still had to put in if you pay only the minimum payment. And if I only paid the minimum payment on $60. What was it? I think it was like 29 years or something.

And I was like, that is some pretty hefty interest racking up on this $60. Yeah, but credit card debt doesn't get transferred over to your family members after you die, right? That dies with you. They could go after your estate if they wanted to. Can they repo your stuff? They can repo it now if they want. They see how much they get out of it. I've already tried to sell it on Craigslist.

See if you can do any better, Bank of Montreal. Yeah, the credit card company is like, well, it costs, we had to rent that van. It costs us money to sell your junk. We're not going to repossess your dumb domain names. You think we can do any better with DaveShumka.com? Yeah, you just go there and it says, now property of visa.

Pretty great. We got there. We got there. We got there, guys! My overheard comes from... I don't know what the other half of the conversation that this was in response to. Because one of the people was speaking sign language? I only heard the second person, but they were very emphatic. Where was this? This was at the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation. Oh very emphatic. They were saying... Where was this?

This was at the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation. Oh, the CBC. Yeah, and it was people walking in a hallway. And so, as they turned the corner, I only heard the response, which I assume was to somebody downplaying how good this guy they were discussing was. Okay.

Because the guy said, he's the best mime in canada so like maybe the guy was like yeah he's an okay mime no he's the best one again there is you you'd swear to god that it's super windy but it's also like canada's got cirque de soleil here right so there's like there's we got some pretty good mimes here as far as i know and he is the best of them. Yeah. Whoever this is.

He's an independent mime. He's not a corporate... Oh, yeah. He won't even do the glass box or the wind or the rope. He doesn't do sellout stuff. He does the rope. But he does his own twist on it. What is it? He uses his feet instead of his hands.

Oh. Yeah. And what does he do with his feet? Like he trips over it? No. He lies on his back and pulls And what does he do with his feet? Like he trips over it or? No, he lies on his back and pulls himself along the ground with an imaginary rope with his feet.

I want to see that. Yeah, I do want to see that. Come on, mimes. Yeah. Get it together. Mimes, mimes, mimes, mimes, mimes, mimes. Mimes, mimes, mimes, mimes. Now, Erica,

you said you had another one from Japan? I did. Yeah. Yeah. You did? I from Japan. I did. Yeah. Yeah. You did? I did. And I still have it.

I have not forgotten it in the last 2.6 minutes. So we went on our last day up in Osaka, up north. We went to a temple. And we were going through this temple. And there's all these beautiful shrines. And they have all these Buddhist shrines where you can go and make an offering. To the angry Buddha. To the angry Buddha or the happy Buddha.

I always choose angry. Yeah. There's nine Buddhas you can choose. There's angry. There's happy. Sleepy. Well, there's the seven dwarf Buddhas. Yeah.

And then there's horny Buddha. Too soon. So I'm waiting in line to go up and kind of, so you can put a coin. They have these five yen coins or whatever that are good luck. So you put this coin in and i hear that this person explaining to this like teenage girl about the shrines and she's like well you go up and you make a prayer and you give an offering so a lot of people will put this coin in and so you put the coin in and you clap twice and you make a wish and the girl went oh like the fountain at the mall

no not like that at all and i was like exactly like the sacred in the sacred mall yeah this yeah no no hobo can just get in this this thing and fish out the yeah maybe they can yeah maybe is it open is it an open pool kind of thing or um does buddha use honor system yeah it's just like kind of like dish. You could reach in and grab some coins if you so desired. Abracadabra. It's frowned upon. Would Buddha frown upon that? Or would he be like, you know what?

You probably need help. Yeah. Leave a Buddha, take a Buddha. Buddha's cool. Of all the people that have religions named after them, he's like the coolest. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. He's like the coolest. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. He's way cooler than...

I can't think of another. Because they're not named after the guy. Christianity. Isn't named after a guy named Christian, though. Christian Duda. Yeah, it is. Jesus Christ. Oh, yeah.

I guess you're right. But, wait. Is Judaism? christian jesus christ oh yeah i guess you're right but wait is judaism no it's not named after judah yeah that's right well maybe it is i have no idea i'm out of my depth here no we are not theologists theologists theologists but uh you know what what are we are we? What are we? Well. Are we not men? I don't know if we're men. That's, I know that JP's a man because he's got a purple.

Got a purple belt. Right? Like Prince. Those are the two men I know. JP and Prince. Now, we also have overheards that have been sent in to us By listeners like you Like you were there sleeping You there wake up

If you want to send them in To us you can send them in to SPY at MaximumFun.org This first one comes from Alexis T in Denver Colorado And this is one of those Kind of church-style signs

where you can change the letters, little tiny white letters. I'm familiar. This is the church. This is the steeple. And this was in front. Here are the people. Yeah, yeah. This isn't in front of a church, though.

It's in front of a custom framing shop. And the message on the marquee read, Don't be telling me you ain't got nothing to frame. Right? Yeah. Come on. You don't have a poster or a degree flying around. Wait a minute.

All that buildup about church signs and it had nothing to do with church. I was trying to segue out of our heavy church talk earlier. That's true. By bringing in more church talk. Yeah. You guys like churches, right? Yeah. You guys are down with the big man, Buddha, or respective religions. Yeah.

Whoever your big man, slash being, slash woman. Slash, slash. Slash, slash, absolutely. I go to the church of slash. Yeah, welcome to the jungle. Versus one through five. Now, this next one. Do you have anything to frame?

What was the overheard? You got something to frame, right? The overheard was, don't be telling me you ain't got nothing to frame. Sure. And I... Page out of the dictionary, maybe? Yeah. I've definitely got things that are...

Like, I've got lots of stuff that I've never got framed. Roger Rabbit? Yeah. Yeah, I don't. I have a bunch of stuff that's rolled up in, like, tubes and paintings that aren't framed and stuff. Why not? I don't know. Because I don't care.

I don't know. You know what I mean? Do you have all your stuff is all framed? No. Everything needs to be framed? Jay and I have been together for 14 years and we have never hung a picture on our wall. There you go.

I don't know what our problem is. What do you have on your wall? Paint. Pretty good. Abby and I, we moved in here it took us a year and a half to start hanging pictures. Once you get started...

Oh, you can't stop. You can't stop. And I did actually, there was a really awesome shot of Jay throwing a guy during his demonstration. And the guy's completely upside down, and so it's a very yin and yang kind of picture. And so when I got back from Japan, I contacted the photographer in France and had them send me the shot so I could get it framed and surprise him for his birthday,

which was the following Friday. And let me tell you, I knocked that present out of the goddamn park. Was he just blown away? Yeah. Nice. Blown away. And he was like,

baby, I'm going to keep this in a drawer forever. Yeah, it is now leaning against our wall on the floor. Yeah. We got to look into some nail technology. See, because, yeah, I think maybe I've been to your place once before, and I thought that was an artistic choice was to have everything floor level. Some people do that. Yeah.

I have a lot of babies over. They want to enjoy the art. Sure. And they're very caring with the art. They're gentle with it. Oh, so gentle. That'd be really good for a series of babies looking at art and they're like, you know, chewing on the end of glasses or, you know, looking really serious.

What does it mean? Also, what is it? Oh, I shit myself. Yeah. Oh, it's a face. I get it. It wasn't even abstract. It was an actual face myself yeah oh it's a face i get it it wasn't even abstract it was an actual face oh i love recognizing faces baby art critics maybe my favorite

like in the new york, another million dollar idea. Yeah, baby art critic. This was a bunch of faces with good colors. Yeah. Some things I didn't recognize. But then maybe I just don't have... Maybe I just don't know what this is yet.

The baby's admitting its limitations as a baby. I liked how it disappeared for a while, but it turns out I just blinked. My favorite part was riding around on dad's shoulders so I could see all the art. Something, something, object permanence. This next overheard comes from Liz N. Um, this next, uh, overheard comes from Liz N and this is, uh, somebody who's a Facebook friends. Uh, she says, I'm Facebook friends with my ex.

And the other day I saw on my Facebook friends with your ex. Yeah, of course. I'm Facebook friends with all of my exes. I'm Facebook friends with most of Texas. Yeah. That's why I live in Tennessee. Um, yeah, I'm off Facebook because I'm applying for Nexus. Oh, that's why I live in Tennessee. I'm off Facebook because I'm applying for Nexus.

Oh, really? And you're afraid they're going to like... Oh, they looked at my list of ragamuffin friends. I'm not getting that border clearance. I like that you refer to us as ragamuffins. No, not you guys.

The other. Oh, sure, sure. So this was somebody they saw on my wall that he had appeared on a podcast discussing his sexual history. I, of course, immediately listened to it and heard him describe our last encounter as, quote, a fine example of some good lovemaking. What terrible podcast is this? I don't know. It doesn't say. Well, you come on and you talk about every single time you've had sex.

I probably would listen to that. I don't know. Because it was so, like, it was a podcast about lovemaking or sex or whatever. He summed up this whole relationship. That was a fine example of some lovemaking. The next one was a little... What's up, partner? I don't really remember that one. This last one comes from Catherine C.

These are all three ladies. Three lady overheard. It's ladies, man. For themselves. Do you guys know what Steam, the online game store, you know what that is? Is it a... No. Okay.

I'm not super familiar with it. It's like a sort of a... I think it's maybe the kind of equivalent of like the the mac the app store yeah yeah like you go on and there's reviews of all the different games and the games are they're they're not necessarily made by manufacturers they're they're made by anyone yeah like independent games yeah i think board games or like online games? Online games. Okay. But this one, so browsing Steam came across a colorful horse ownership simulator, which I didn't know that that's a thing, called Horses 2. Do you know that that's a thing?

No. No, but you, did your family own horses? Yes. Yeah. So you would have, you would have, you've been great at this. Colorful online horse. I got four legs up on everybody else already. Steam users can mark a game recommended or not recommended and leave a brief comment.

One review from Serious Cupcakes marked recommended reads, I fucking hate my sister. cupcakes marked recommended reads, I fucking hate my sister. I recommend this horse owning simulator. If you hate your sister, this is the best horse owning simulator.

That's not a bad review. No, absolutely. Anyone who's on the iTunes store and hasn't reviewed our podcast, go ahead and give us five stars and say, I fucking hate my sister. Now, that's the show, right? Oh, the original words that are written, and we also accept your phone calls. If you want to call us, our phone number is 206-339-8328, like these people have. Hey, Dave and Graham and possible guests. This is Paul from Nevada.

Me and my buddy are driving to Vegas, and we just passed one of those very large billboards on the side of the road, very large billboards on the side of the road, and all it said was, say no to Rick, with a big circle that had Rick's name in it with an X through it, and then it also said, anyone but Rick. Oh, man.

Like, was that a proposal deal? Or like an ex-girlfriend? Yeah, anybody but Rick. Oh, boy. Rick's the worst. Rick is the worst. Yeah. When you think about it.

Abby and I, thinking of baby names, Rick's high on the list. Boy or girl? Well, because it's Rick the Brick, Tricky Rick. Uh-huh. Rick James. Slick Rick. Yeah. Mitch, Mitch. Rick is essentially Mitch.

Yeah, Mitch is short for Mitchell, and Rick is short for Richard. Close to the time. We got to the bottom of it. There was a brief period of time in grade 8 where my friend really tried to make Ricky stick for me. Oh, for Erica. Yeah. eight where my friend really tried to make ricky stick for me for you oh for you yeah i had one friend one friend who just for the almost entire year called me ricky and i was like i am not at all comfortable with this name do you think how much different do you think your life would be if you had stuck with if you were ricky sigurds. Oh, man. You would have been probably drafted into the Major Leagues.

God. I should have listened to Jackie. Yeah. It does have a ring to it. Ricky Sigurdsson? Ricky Sigurdsson? I love it. Yeah.

I don't love... I just got new business cards printed. Shit. Did you really? I want to. Yeah. I don't love... I just got new business cards printed. Shit. Did you really? I want to see them. No? All right. I don't love Ricky as a name, but, like, Ricky Sikerson, I think it's dynamite.

Yeah. It sounds... You're right. I think you hit the nail on the head. Baseball player. Yeah. Okay, guys. That's it.

Oh, no, no, no. Next phone call. Hi, Dave and Graham, and most likely a guest. This is Emily from Columbus, Ohio, and I'm calling in with an overdreamt. Dreamt? I follow Abby, your wife, who is also her own person, on Dave. I don't think you're married to her, Graham. That'd be cool cool too, though.

But I follow her on Instagram and the other night I had a dream that my sister and I were throwing Abby a baby shower and we were arguing over the theme and the two options were the cake boss or Danny DeVito.

And I think we pretty much decided that Danny DeVito would be the way sexier option. So we went with that. Anyways, best of luck to you guys. All right, bye. Either of those would have been totally acceptable. Yeah, it's not too late. We haven't had a baby shower yet. What would happen in a Danny DeVito-themed baby shower?

You know what they'd serve? Limoncello. Limoncello, of course. Danny DeVito. What else is... He was in Matilda, right? Sure. He was the penguin.

Yep. So everybody tucks and tails. Yes. Oh, we'd play a fun round of throw mama from the train yeah where the mother-to-be is thrown from a train oh that's the best baby shower we'd also somebody would have to come as arnold schwarzenegger because he was in twins oh and also in junior yeah oh yes he was yeah no are him and rhea perlman still together? They're back together. They're back together. It was very upsetting when they were.

I know. You know? It was legitimately upsetting when they were splitting. Power couple. Like, you know how everybody laughed so much? I love Center of Gravity. They'd be great at jiu-jitsu. But you know how everybody laughed so much when Gwyneth Paltrow broke up? Everybody just couldn't wait to make fun of her for something.

Yeah. This was the exact opposite. Yeah, everyone was rooting for these two. Yeah. There's certain couples that nobody's rooting for ever, but that is the couple you hope makes it. Yeah. I felt the same way about Tim Robbins. And Susan Sarandon.

Yeah. They had a good record. They did. Do you know he cheated on Robbins. And Susan Sarandon. Yeah. They had a good record. They did. Do you know that he cheated on Susan Sarandon with Susan Sarandon? No. It's true. Harsh. Here's your final overheard of 2014.

Hi, guys. This is Adam from Portland. I just saw triplets on Razor scooters. Thanks. My new favorite overhe scooters. Thanks. My new favorite overheard ever. I don't know if it was grown-up triplets or I didn't even

consider the possibility. I'm hoping grown-up triplets wearing identical outfits. I mean, that's the only way you'd be able to tell that they're triplets. Would they all be wearing lab coats? I don't know why I'm picturing three triplets and lab coats on Razor scooters. And they're gerbils. I just saw three gerbils

in Ikea. Well, that really does bring us to the end of the show. And now, Erica. Yes. You've always got things going on. So much going on this summer. You're always got things going on. I have so much going on this summer. You're applying for your Nexus Pass. I'm applying for Nexus Pass.

So if anyone gets a call, I'm a responsible member of society. Yeah. Also, June 13th and 14th, I will be emceeing for the wonderful and talented Jen Kirkman. Ah, yes. Who will be at the Comedy Mix, 1015 Broad Street. So do come out and join us. Do. Do.

Why wouldn't you? Don't not do. Don't not do. Do. Just do. Come join Ricky Sigurdsson. You know what, though? With my middle name, that would have worked good.

Ricky Don. Are you kidding me? Ricky Don Sigurdsson? You could have been a country singer or a bull rider. Or both. Yeah, why pick? singer or a bull rider. Or both. Yeah, why pick? The country singing bull rider. Ricky Don.

Or the bull riding country singer. Ricky Don Sigerson. Wow. Damn it. It's not too late. It's not too late. I really pumped up my life. It's not too late.

You can start fresh. You only owe 60 bucks to your visa. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you can pay that off over 29 years, apparently, which is not bad. Not bad. That's very sporting, a visa to give you that much time. And where do people go if they want to learn more about, get the full Ricky Sigurdsson experience? You know what?

Twitter, Erica underscore Sigurdsson. They could know what twitter erica underscore sigurdsson uh they could go to my website but really who uses websites anymore who updates their website anymore not me um someone uh someone did you see someone more than one uh i'm not going to just for last this year i just didn't update my website for a whole year so that was last year i was going to just for that fun last year though I was good at Just for Laughs. We had fun last year, though. We did. I was looking at pictures. Anyways, Twitter, Erica underscore Sigurdsson.

You sent Graham that picture of him throwing a guy. It was a real yin and yang. Way to ruin the surprise. It was part of a Just for Laughs gag. So Erica underscore Sigurdsson. Or Instagram Erica comic. Nice.

Erica comic. And Graham, you joined Instagram. I sure did. And your name is? Graham Clark was taken. Instagram was taken probably day one. Graham Clark was taken. It's your name.

That's me. At Graham Clark was taken. Yep. And also upcoming things i'm gonna be at the toronto fringe festival in uh in july i know it's a bit early yet but you know get your tickets yeah sometime somehow torontofringe.com um i'm gonna be in the tarragon room. Oh, really? Spicy. What is tarragon? I don't know. I couldn't tell you what color tarragon is.

No, me neither. I feel like it's orange. It's orange or yellow, maybe? Okay. What does it go in? Meats and cheeses and foods. Maybe not cheeses. I'm going to Google tarragon.

You killed time. I couldn't remember. It seemed like tarragon was something that went with turkey, like turkey dinner, something tarragon. I don't know. I just feel like I heard it on a sitcom. Are you performing in a spice factory? Yeah, yeah. Okay. I wish I could be in a cinnamon room.

It's green. It's green, guys. Really? Tarragon is a green herb. But the tarragon theater Is spelt differently Oh okay But it's Oh no it's spelt the same way

I misspelled it So yeah It's a perennial herb Okay What do you put it in What does it go with Quick Dave

What does it go with Uses Okay Oh here we go Alright Oh Bernays sauce Ah That's a main one Dave, what does it go with? Uses. Okay. Here we go. Bernays sauce. That's a main one.

And then probably fish. So come see me at the Bernays Theater. Fish and egg dishes and chicken. If you like the show, head over to MaximumFun.org where we will have pictures and videos recapping things we talked about in this episode. I want to see that picture. I want to see that picture of Jay throwing that guy

in the air. I will send it to you. If you can get it to us, we will post it. That is my solemn vow. And if you want to get in touch with the podcast, you can call us. 206-339-8328 or write to us at SPY at MaximumFun.org. Erica, thanks for being our guest.

Thank you for having me. It was my pleasure. No, it was our pleasure. Well, you know, we'll figure it out. We'll check your monitor and see who had the most pleasure out of this podcast. Yeah, we'll check your Fitbit. And thanks for listening. If you like the show, tell your friends to come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself.

MaximumFun.org Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Listener supported.