Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 329 - Caitlin Howden

Episode Date: July 7, 2014

Caitlin Howden joins us to talk topless beaches, bad flyers, and protests.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka and he's Graham Clark and together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 329 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who just returned from mighty Toronto, Mr. Dave Shumka. Yeah. Is that what they call it? Mighty Toronto? Yeah, because of its size and its might. Yeah, and that it scaled the Empire State Building.

Well, who else did? Mighty Mouse? Mighty Joe Young? No, that was King Kong. That's what I'm thinking of. Other giant gorilla. Oh, that's racist. Do you think all gorillas look alike? I'm not afraid to say it. I'm saying what a lot of our listeners have been saying to us for years.

Do you know the Mighty... And here's the only thing I know about Mighty Joe Young. Yeah. I only know... Was it based on an old movie? Maybe. And then Charlize Theron remade it No

With her vision for Mighty Joe Young Yes she did Was it Charlize Theron? Yes it was I thought it was Oh crap I can't remember Well I'm telling you you're wrong

It was Charlize Theron And once she was on a talk show Talking about meeting this monkey or whatever This dude God damn monkey This dumb ape Yeah And the monkey knew sign language a talk show talking about meeting this monkey or whatever just do a goddamn ape yeah yeah uh and uh the monkey knew sign language it was a gorilla not a monkey uh and and she in the moment the the gorilla met her it did the sign for smoking it was like oh because did she smell it you could

smell her cigarette or the monkey was like give me yeah because did she smell her cigarette? You could smell her cigarette. Or the monkey was like, give me a smoke. Yeah, give me a smoke. I've been grinding organs all day. And not in the way you mean. And our guest today, returning guest, a nominee for the Canadian Comedy Awards for Best Improviser, along with her improv troupe. A how many time nominee? Five times.

Wow, the Susan Lucci of the Canadian Comedy Awards. Along with her improv troupe. A how many time nominee? Five times. Five times. Wow. The Susan Lucci of the Canadian Comedy Award. And if you're a registered voter, if you're able to vote for this guest, I strongly recommend you do. It's Miss Caitlin Howden. Thanks, Graham. Hey.

Oh, hi, Dave. Welcome to the show. Hi. Hi. Hi, Susan Lucci. How many times is Susan Lucci? Oh, was she nominated? Yeah.

Was she nominated for 13? No, I would say like 30. Well, that's not right. I don't think she was nominated 30 times. Sorry, I'm getting a fax. Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't see the Susan Lucci poster over your bed. It's a year by year of all of her nominations.

Every year for all my children. Is that right? What was the movie that Renee Russo was in that had a monkey? I feel like she was in a monkey movie. Congo? Maybe she was in the one with a monkey in a hotel. Not Dunstan Checks In. Not Dunstan Checks In.

I always think it's Dunstan Checks In. It's never Checks In. I always think it's Dunstan Checks In. It's never that, though. It's never that movie. Let's get to know us, you guys. While we get to know us, not to be rude, feel free to talk. You're going to do a little fact checking on Lucci.

I will be participating, but I will be also looking up Lucci and Rene Russo monkey movie. There's definitely a Rene Russo ape film. Siri, Google Rene Russo ape film. Do your homework, Siri. Searching Google for Rene Russo ape film. No, not ate a film. Ape film. No, not ate a film. Ate film.

Last weekend, I had to go to Burnaby. And I was trying to find where the parking was. And I think it was at the Shadbolt Center. And I said, find the Shadbolt Center. And Siri said, looking for Shitbolt Center. Shitbolt Center. Caitlin, how are you? I'm great.

What's new and exciting? What's new and exciting? Oh, right. Annie Russo has starred in eight movies. That's it? Eight? Eight? Oh.

Eight. Oh. I get it. I'll cut that out. I didn't think there were any edits in this podcast. No. Good. Unfortunately.

Yeah. It's so nice being back here guys my third my third podcast yeah third time podcast yeah i feel very comfortable now the first two i was just a nervous wreck but now now you're sweating bullets you're both old boots to me thanks there's a movie called buddy yeah maybe yeah and she plays uh natasha opposite roiro's Boris. No. No. No. Was she Natasha? Yeah.

Yeah. Really? Yeah. Hmm. And yeah, Robert De Niro's Boris and no, Jason Alexander was, Robert De Niro was fearless leader. Jason Alexander was Boris for some reason. Look.

He was the best thing to could get. On short notice. Well, he's as talented as it gets. Yeah, that's true. What can't Jason Alexander do? He can sing, he can dance. He can sing and he can dance. I was scrolling through my own photos on Facebook the other day because I'm a narcissist.

Didn't realize it. I have a photo with Jason Alexander that I don't remember taking. Are you wasted in the photo? Well, no, it was just, it was a Just for Laughs event. Sure. And I was doing the event

with Martin Short. I was doing some sketches with him. And so for me, the whole event was like Martin Short. That's what I remember. He was like, he was my comedy guy that I was focusing on.

And I was looking back on the photos and I was like, well, look at that. I got real close up with Jason looking back On the photos And I was like Well look at that I got real close up With Jason Alexander Got a photo And I'm like Cradling his face too

In this weird Maternal kind of way Wow So I Yeah it's I'll send it to you guys What if that What if that night

Like meant a lot to him Like what if he was Deciding he was gonna quit He was quitting acting Yeah And then you said Something inspiring to him In that moment

Yep What if he totally Remembers you That would be the worst No it would be great for me He was quitting acting. Yeah. And then you said something inspiring to him in that moment. Yeah. What if he totally remembers you? That would be the worst. No, it would be great for me. Well, because you'd be like, you're Jason Alexander. Of course I know who you are. I remember meeting you.

And I would say openly, I don't know if I like Seinfeld. What? Yeah, I'll say that right now right here. Openly? All right. Really? I don't know if I like Seinfeld. It makes me very uncomfortable to watch. I think I don't like when everyone's an idiot.

I don't like that that's the like, okay, well, let's start off from the point where every character is bad. Right. And not a good person. I find that the most identifiable part. I find it. The thing is, I don't want to be reminded. Give me stuff that's fun. Put me out of like my own mindset, which is I can't stand me.

Like, I don't. That's very I can't stand me like I don't and that's very interesting I've never I don't think so you would rather watch you watch reruns of Princess Diaries Princess Diaries 2

anything with Julie Andrews the Carrie Diaries anything with the Diaries anything with the Diaries Vampire Diaries anything with Vampires True Blood yeah anything with Vampires

where you know Lestat whatever anything with vampires um true blood yeah anything with vampires we'll wear you know Lestat uh whatever won't wear a puppy shirt of course he will yeah of course

no see never a problem no this is what drives me nuts that everything could have been solved with just a bit of communication within the first four minutes of every episode if everyone had just

spoken to each other then the episode did not need to happen. Right. Okay. Now, on the subject of Susan Lucci. Yes. If this were Jimmy Pardo's podcast, Never Not Funny, they would have gambled on how many nominations.

I'll gamble. Well, I already know the answer. No, but we can gamble. What did I say? 30? I said like 30. You said like 30. You said like 30. I said 13.

I'm going to say that it was around 20. That's what I'm going to say. It's got 20. Well, what is the criteria for deciding what the right answer is? Closest or closest without going over? Closest without going over. Yeah. What did you say?

I said 13. 13. I say 20. And what are we gambling on? The number of nominations or number of nominations before her win or number of total nominations total number i don't have that here's the here's what i have okay number of we'll gamble on number of nominations before her win yes yep because she won finally yes which cancels the i want to change mine to 16 okay come on well you

can change yours okay then i'll change it to 15. No, I'll just say a 13. Sorry, I got really competitive and very angry very quickly. Yeah, no kidding. I'll say a 13. I'm going to stay at 16. Okay. It's 19. Wow, 19.

Pay up. 19? No, no, no, no. Speaking of the Jimmy Parta podcast. Never mind. It's the greatest show. yep 19 no no no speaking of the Jimmy Pardo podcast nevermind it's the greatest show you should listen

to it yeah it's fantastic stop listening to this show right now go listen to that then come back okay Vampire

Seinfeld so you don't like Seinfeld no it makes me very frustrated to watch funny but I love

Curb Curb Your Enthusiasm I don't know if you've heard of it. Oh, goodness gracious. Oh, Curb? How dare you? You know Curb? How dare you?

I'm sorry. I said it by an abbreviated term because I'm close with the TV show. Maybe you know it as Curb Your Enthusiasm. Oh, no. I'm from the message boards. I call it C-Y-E. Oh. I call it Curb Your Enthusiasm.

I leave out the last bit. I call it Larry David's Curb Your Enthusiasm starring Larry David. I call it what my mother calls it. The David Larry Show? Moms are such cute little pies, aren't they? A bundle of joy, right? Just cute little pies. I think moms are our future.

You know, we've been putting too much on kids. Oh, boy. What about moms? They do a lot more than a kid. A mom by 9 a.m. has done more than most kids will do all day. You know what? Moms are our future. Yeah.

Yeah. Eating a soft-boiled egg. Yeah. Saying a thing wrong like you, you know. Saying a thing just wrong enough to make you kind of. Going to curves. Yeah. Going to curves.

Got Zumba on the weekend. I said it for my Zumba class. Your father won't take me dancing. I got to go by myself. Well, Lorraine and I. Where does a mom go dancing? Zumba. Zumba.

Yeah, she goes to a Zumba class. What is Zumba? Zumba? You don't know it? What? It's a Brazilian martial arts fighting. It's Billy Blanks. That's capoeira.

Yeah. Same thing. Zumba. It's like salsa meets. That's Capoeira. Yeah. Same thing. Zumba. It's like salsa meets step aerobics. Okay. So you would do it in. I remember when they met. Oh, boy.

Yeah. I remember the movie about it. Are you dancing? No. Zumba meets step aerobics. Zumba meets step. Starring Vanessa Williams. That's step aerobics. No, that was starring Vanessa Williams. Mm-hmm. That's Step Aerobics.

No, that was Strictly Ballroom, right? I don't know. Yes, you're barking up the wrong tree. Wait, which one was Strictly Ballroom? Antonio Banderas?

No. Oh, I thought... Was that a Baz Luhrmann joint? Then maybe that's not it. I'm thinking of the Vanessa Williams movie where she like... I'll get my phone out.

Okay. Where she's an amazing tango dancer and has to save her studio. Google Vanessa Williams movie where she's an amazing tango dancer and has to save her studio. What if it is also Buddy? Would that blow your mind? If we're talking about the same movie

but you forgot the gorilla part? Wait, we might have said too much to Siri. Siri might have heard you. Searching Google for Vanessa Williams movie where she's an amazing tango dancer and has a savers to it is also. Oh, the last part? Close. Oh, Siri. Very close.

Save the Last Dance. Save the Last Dance. Save the Last Dance. Yeah. Sure. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. It's all coming back to me now. Oh, was it take the lead? Oh, it also could have been take the lead. Was it dance with me? It could have also been dance with me.

Wow. She's done a lot since winning Miss America. Yeah. Yeah. Miss USA. More than. Oh, Miss USA.

More than most, right? More than most Miss USA. Oh, absolutely. Oh yeah. And considering she had the scandal too. What was the scandal? She posed for Penthouse. Penthouse. Oh, absolutely. Oh, yeah. And considering she had the scandal, too. What was the scandal?

She posed for Penthouse. Penthouse. Oh, isn't that the, like, that's the skanky one. It's like Playboy with peeing. I don't think they'd want you to advertise their magazine like that. Oh, no, they'd be thrilled. Yeah, yeah. That was Vanessa Williams' thing.

Vanessa Williams peed on somebody? Well, no, no, no. In a litter box. Someone peed on her. In a litter box. Oh, no, no. In a litter box. Someone peed on her. In a litter box. Oh, man, that's weird. That was actually her talent for Miss USA. Yeah.

They hide the litter box if she finds it. It was at the very end of the photo shoot. They saved the best for last. Pretty great. I'm shocked. I'm scandalized. I mean, this is what happens when a scandal passes you by and then, you know, you get it many years later. Well, sometimes the sun goes around the moon.

Yeah. Well, absolutely. I see what you did there. What other beauty queens have made anything of themselves? Like, isn't Diane Sawyer? Wasn't Kathy Ireland? No. No, she was a Sports Illustrated.

Oh, okay, sure. What was the one that was, she was on Survivor and also on The View. Elizabeth Hasselbeck. Wasn't she a beauty queen? I don't think so. No, but Barbara Walters was? Maybe. No, she was a prize fighter.

That's what you think. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's what I'm thinking. So what else is new, Caitlin? I was just in Toronto. Oh, me too. Yeah. Mighty Toronto.

Yeah, it was Mighty Toronto because of size and strength. Yeah. And was in Toronto. Yeah. But before that, I was in South Beach for my brother-in-law's wedding. Now, we were discussing South Beach, suburb of Miami. Yeah, it's in Miami. Okay.

You have to fly to Miami, and then you take a really fun cab ride. Oh, yeah. And then you get into South Beach, where it's just thongs all day long. Is it really? Yeah, it's the thong song playing on a loop in your head. It's really an amazing place. It was beautiful. I was there for a wedding.

It was great. Sat by the beach. Thongs all ages? All age thongs, all size thongs. Okay. All sex thongs? All sex thongs, too. Men thongs?

Here's the thing with thongs. Is there the new man thong? Have you seen that? Have you seen that? Where it just like tucks around the side? Yeah. Wait. What?

It only goes. It just cups the balls in the penis. Yeah. And it just goes off. On one side? Yeah. What is it attached to? It's just like. Skin yeah and it just goes off on one side yeah what is it attached to it's just like it's skin tags yeah it's on your skin tags it's got these clips so you gotta anchor into your back hair uh-huh or the little butt hairs

and then you just like clip it in it's like it's like getting dreads okay cool um yeah the biggest thing In Miami was High heels With a thong Really? That was Dinner attire 24-7 Oh man Put a towel down Oh my That was my thought

Everyone also rents Like a Bixie bike They don't call them Bixies They call it A bike share program Sure And all I could think of Was that all the like

Open butts That were on those bike seats Yeah It's a real open butt society It's A thong G gives an open butt. A thong in every butt. That's how that guy got into office.

Yeah. That was the mayor. Yeah. Um, the Vancouver last weekend had the naked butt bike ride. That's right. And that. It's a chilly day.

That is a seat, seat destroying affair. I kind of want to do it. There's part of me that's like to, to fit in with the masses of naked people and to bike along them and to kind of become. Gross. No. You can kind of just blend in and then you're, you know, you're naked in the city, but no one's really looking at you. They're looking at all, like everyone who's naked.

But then you're on the cover of the newspaper. Yeah, that's true. You don't know who's going to end up on the cover. Okay, I'll do it though wearing a Ronald Reagan mask. Okay. Oh, let's rob banks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Naked bank robbers.

Yeah, perfect, perfect. Yeah, like the, it doesn't, what is the, what is the point? Like, what are they trying? Yeah, it's not. Because nobody's saying don't, but it's implied. Like, please don't. Well, because there is the point? Like, what are they trying? Yeah, it's not. Because nobody's saying don't, but it's implied. Like, please don't. Well, because there is the bike. What's the mass hysteria or whatever?

Oh. Critical mass. Critical mass. Critical mass. Where they just shut down the roads. Right. For bikers. But there's no thing like naked bike riding now.

Yeah, because there's also like fun runs that are like in your underwear and they support like cancers, like prostate cancer. Sure, yeah, yeah, yeah. A lot of options to be mostly naked. I don't know what the naked bike ride stands for. Yeah. I think it's just because they can. It feels like a group of people have a mass together and gone, you know what we could do? Yeah.

Ride naked. Can we? Yeah, sure. What we could do is volunteer. No, no, no, wait. Let's go with this first lady's idea. No, no, no, no, no, no. Wait, wait.

When should we do it? I don't know. Late spring? Perfect. Good, good, good, good, good. When we're not sure it'll be a nice day. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Great, great, great, great, great, great, great.

Should we put like shower caps on our bike seats? Good idea. Great, great, great, great, great, great. Should we put like shower caps on our bike seats? Good idea. Oh, that would be a good idea though. Yeah. Have you ever, you've lived in Vancouver.

How long now? Three years. It'll be three years June 1st. So you're like a veteran here. We're pre-taping some episodes. Wait, June 1st? It's already past June 1st. I know. It was three years June 1st.

Oh, it was. Sorry, I shouldn't have said it'll be. Yeah. I also think it's still May. Yeah, fair enough. I'm tired a lot. I'm tired a lot of the time. Still signing those checks.

We're pre-taping some episodes in April. Yeah, it's April, actually. So three years in Vancouver. Have you ever gone to the world famous Wreck Beach? Have you ever done anything? Yes. Really? I did, yeah.

Wow, good for you. But I'm also a French-Canadian girl. You forget, right? So because I'm a Montreal girl, I'm much more comfortable with nudity. Right. Why? I don't know. It's very European there.

Yeah, but it's freezing there and then too hot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I don't know. There's one day when it's like there. Yeah, but like it's freezing there and then too hot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But like, I don't know. There's one day when it's like the perfect day. Perfect nudity day. Yeah, and the leaves change and your nipples change color. Yeah, one leaf lands perfectly. It's usually during the Jazz Fest.

It's amazing. No, but I grew up with a cottage and we would like skinny dip all the time. Okay. And that was just what you did. That's just, it's like whatevs. It was fine what you did. That's just, it's like whatevs. It was fine. All right. Nah,

I'm from Alberta. So it was all clothes as buttoned up as you could get. The higher the collar, the better. I remember having friends come over and be like,

dad, please, please put pants on. Yeah. Oh, like he was just hanging out. Like he was wearing underwear, but it would be like,

dad, you need to put on a shirt. Was it old dad underwear? Yeah. Like kind of dad underwear? Yeah. Like kind of not really good at his duty. Was he wearing cool Marky Mark underwear? No. He wasn't wearing that cool like spandex breathable boxer briefs.

He was also my dad and still is. So can we not talk about this anymore? You haven't traded? Still my dad. Trade dads with me. Quick. Quick, quick, quick. Take my dad. Take my dad. My dad with me. Quick. Quick, quick, quick. Take my dad.

Take my dad. My dad just broke his elbow, actually. How? What? What's the difference between breaking your elbow and breaking your arm? The elbow. Breaking the elbow, the way he described it was, all of a sudden, I could move it around a lot.

Oh, like. He's like, finally, side to side. You can do that side to side like I dreamed of. Actually, he said he put his elbow in his palm, and then he could feel it move around. Oh, I hate it. How did he do it? He fell off the train. What?

He was getting off the train. He commutes. He works at McGill. Very smart man. The head of First Nation Studies at McGill. Oh, wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

And yeah, you think real smart guy, right? Well, his backpack was too heavy. Well, is he carrying a bunch of artifacts? Artifacts. He's got a Lenovo. So that's like a laptop that's the size of like nine loaves of bread. Yeah, kind of like a cooking sheet. It's short for Lenovo bread.

Lenovo bread. Lenovo means nine in bread. Yeah. It's their Lenovo pan model. Interesting thing about the Lenovo, the Lenovo can open up to 180 degrees, which is not like, you know, you can flip the screen open. It's too hot. But also they're like, no one needs that for a laptop. No one's like, well, if only I could lay this flat and open.

Yeah. Hmm. How do I? Maybe if you were like a little kid lying face down on the ground. Face down. Lying on your stomach being like, I want to stare at the ground. But then the sun is going to be on the screen and you can't see anything. Why are you doing this outdoors?

Why are you laying down with your Lenovo? What if you're using it as a bookmark? Then it's perfect, right? What am I picturing here? That it's just flat? It goes flat. Yeah, it just goes flat. I guess.

It just goes limp. Well, that's what you should do in any fight. Anytime a bear is attacking a Lenovo. Which is what my father did when he fell down off the train. He went limp and broke his elbow. I'm so grossed out by it. I've never broken a bone. Have you guys? No. You have, Graham? Yeah.

Broken several toes. Oh, toes. Oh, I think I've probably broken a toe, but I'm, you know, what, am I going to go to a doctor? No. I don't think that was part of the question. The question was straight up, have you broken any bones? Have you been to a doctor about them? No.

Well, then maybe I've broken toes. I think you know. It's very painful. And they kind of turn black. Oh. Yeah. And they bend the wrong way. Like Beckham.

Yeah. That's what that movie was about. A guy who stuffed his toe. He bent it like Beckham. Oh, my toe really hurt. Well, like, if you look at my face, you're like, oh, that guy broke his nose. But I never. You don't look like. No, your nose is straight.

No, it's crooked. Let's see. No, go look at me straight up. It doesn't look crooked. Well, maybe a little bit. Oh, yeah, a little bit. Yeah, a little bit. But it just makes you look more like Benedict Cumberbatch.

Yeah, thanks. Is that his name? Thanks? I don't know. Yes, it's his name. We're not playing this game. It sounded funny. Of course it sounds funny.

But, yeah, I never went to a doctor or anything. Just got hit in the face with a lacrosse stick. Sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm sorry, no, an acrostic. Oh, no, uh, yeah, like never went to a doctor or anything. Just got hit in the face with a lacrosse stick. Sure. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm sorry. No.

An acrostic. I'm sorry. A cross stitch. One of those poems where every letter means. Oh yeah. And it was a nose. Yeah. I always wanted a skinnier nose and I wanted to break my nose on purpose so that I could

get reconstructive nose surgery. Oh, skinnier nose. No way. break my nose on purpose so that I could get reconstructive nose surgery. Oh. Skinnier nose? No way. I feel like I have a large bone. I have a large boned nose. But you don't have

any bone in your nose. Yeah, it's just cartilage. That's why you can get... That's a bone. Have you seen a skull? Yeah. Uh-huh. Uh, no noses.

So this isn't bone at all. No. That's why they can operate on it. It's just an imagination. What? They can just go in there and they scoop out a part. These are just a bunch of atoms collected together, staying together just because I want them to? Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, God. My nose is going to fall off. If you just wanted it, Les. Your nose is great. Yeah. Your nose is great. Thanks. Graham, you've got a great nose.

Oh, thanks. Yeah. Little button nose. Yeah. And that corncob pipe doesn't hurt. Yeah. Oh, you're on fire. You're on fire today, buddy.

I'm having a fun day. I'm on Toronto time. Which means that it's later. You should be ready for bed. He is. He's wearing that sleeping cap. What else? What happened in The South Beach

So you went to a wedding Tell me about Thong Beach Yeah Went to a wedding Did you see any buttholes? I mean Here's the thing Were you looking?

I was always looking for a butthole Yeah yeah yeah I'm always looking And I Was the theme of the wedding Buttholes Yeah

For me it was I don't know what everyone else was doing But I was up everyone's skirt with these eyes. My thing was when I get to the beach I want to be in the water 24-7.

Let me just lay in that ocean. I love it. Yeah. But it's like super blue out there, right? Oh my God, yeah. It's beautiful.

It's just beautiful. You take your top off. I'm a French girl. Yeah, yeah. I'm French. Everyone, deal with me. Check out these hairy armpits. No, my thing is, I don't like going naked

unless everyone else is naked. That's the thing. I don't want to be like, oh, she's doing something different. Like when I was in Barcelona, everyone was topless. So I would be the freak on the beach. Oh, at the restaurant. Not the restaurant, but at the beach in Barcelona. In Las Ramblas. Las Ramblas, everyone was all teats.

All the street performers were, you know, a human boob statue. Boob puppets. Human boob statues. You're all silver, just stood still.

Yeah. But the whole thing was that like, if I had kept my top on, then I would have stood out. So I'm all for like, just going with the flow. So while I was in Miami,

I kept my top on. But my favorite thing to do is to throw myself violently into waves because it doesn't hurt, but it's just really fun. So I'll just, you know, I'll stand waiting for a big wave and then all of a sudden I'll just go,

and I'll throw myself into the wave. But more often than not, my bottoms would come off because I was throwing myself very violently into the wave. And people saw your butthole. And some people saw my butthole. Whoa.

I'm sure of it. People in South Beach were like, we're not that kind of city. We're more of a thong city. Excuse me, ma'am. Yeah. Could you please close your butthole? There's kids here,

all these kids wearing thongs. Yeah, covering their eyes, right? Hi, mommy! Use your extra thong to cover your eyes. They have slings for their arms as thongs. The elbow fits in the front part. Yeah, well, they have broken elbows. Yeah.

Did you wear a thong? Because you were saying you just go with the flow. Yeah, but I'm not going to buy stuff. I was thinking they were complimentary when you got off the plane. They throw a thong. Yeah, like a wave. Welcome to Miami. All right.

I did try smoking a cigar while i was there oh and it was disgusting yeah a cuban cigar uh well that's not legal well but it's so close to cuba but that's what it was at the wedding there was a guy who was rolling cigars that was like the party favor oh oh so i got a cigar rolled like fresh right there and i was was like, oh, this is awesome. I'm going to try a cigar. Did you inhale it? I did the first time. And then they were like, well, don't do that. And I was like, well, okay.

Don't yell at me. So what, you just chomp on it? You just light it? You just hold it in your mouth. Well, no, it's for the look. You just bite it. You don't light it. That's right.

Will Smith thought us a lot. Like a lot. It is the millennium, guys. Don't forget. Don't ever forget that it's still the millennium. It's WK. WK2. Two.

W2K 14. Guys, I'm so mad at you. Why? We're having the greatest time. You guys, it's so late where I'm from. Yeah, yeah, that's true. He's on Toronto Island time. Isn't the island

a cool little spot though? I didn't go. I've never been. It is. The Toronto Island? I've never been. Do they have an airport there? Yes.

They have a nudist beach there. They have a nudist beach. So it's got everything that Toronto, like you think, Toronto's so square, man. Yeah. But yeah,

all the cool stuff's on the island. And people in Toronto party until like past 11 What? Which is different From here in Vancouver Where they party till 11 on the dot

Yeah And soft 930 And then everyone's just Tuckered out Everybody doesn't even go out They just stay in Board games Board games and pot

Maybe a tent Yeah Hey you guys want to Come over to my house? No your house smells weird Yeah Everybody's house smells weird Yeah I can't come over to my house? No, your house smells weird. Yeah, everybody's house smells weird. Yeah, I can't come over because there's gluten there.

I was in Toronto for about four weeks after Miami. Yeah. And I probably gained close to nine pounds because I just ate out at every restaurant I could find. Like I was just, I was nonstop on the food. How come? Because I used to live there. So I have all these like favorite restaurants. Right.

So I have a list of like brunch places where I'm like, well, I got to go to Insomnia. Well, I got to go to Rustic. Well, I got to go here. I got to go to, you know. And then the next thing you know. You got to go to Boston Pizza. You got to go to BP's. The next thing you know, I'm having sausage every day.

Like I'm having either a bacon A Italian sausage Some sort of pork Yeah Every day Three meals a day Three meals a day Cause then it's like Oh I gotta go for lunch

Do you hit a brunch spot Then a lunch spot Then a sensible dinner spot Yeah I hit a milkshake A slim fast milkshake spot And then another slim fast milkshake spot And then a fine one

I like to start my meals huge I'll have huge brunch. Big brunch. So big that I instantly feel sick. Yeah. And then just want to like, I'm just waiting for the poop. Then have a late lunch and then just drink a lot of beer and have maybe some calamari. I mean, it's just every day.

You just put your body through the paces. Is every day just a day off? You don't have any responsibilities? Every day is Caitlyn Day. Yes. My day, my time. No, I was working. The thing is, I was working on set.

I was working on a TV show, which is even more dangerous because then they have craft service. Oh. Where it's insane. What do you want? Pretzels? They got them. A little bit of chocolate? You got it.

How about a bagel? Sure. Hard boiled eggs in a container? Buy the dozen. So at the beginning of the shoot were they like, all these costumes were custom made for you. Yeah. You don't fit in a single one.

There was one skirt that I went, I don't want to a single one. There was one skirt that I went, I don't want to wear this anymore. The lady said, but we already got it approved. And I said, please, please. We've already shot half the scene of you.

Please. It's actually hurting my bones. Please shoot the rest of the closeup. Please. You cannot do this. Please. Where is my double? Can you just paint on a skirt?

Please. Um, so, uh Can you just paint on a skirt? Please. So, and the show, it's actually going to be on television. It's actually going to be on TV, yeah. Which is amazing. Because that never happens. Well, that's just the thing. At any minute now. It almost never happens.

It's true. You shoot a thing and you make a thing and then it goes in a vault somewhere and nobody ever sees it. I've been working on this one television show for over two years, I'd say. Yeah. Now what is it? It's a new sketch show from Second City and with Global. So Global and the Second City are making a new show and I'm one of six writers and also actors

on the show. Ractors. Ractors. Yeah. But it's with a W. The Toronto Ractors. Ractors. Yeah, so it's myself, Kayla Lorette, whom you've had on this show who's crazy talented Marty Adams very funny man from

sounds funny Marty Adams Marty Adams that sounds great he's fun yeah and then and then three people

with names they don't remember three Americans oh I see it's a it's like half Canadian, half American. Because that's the trick to getting things on TV in Canada. Sure. You got to have a bit of an American flair.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Because you got to want to sell it to some station down in the States. So no Canadian references. No. Right. Like unusually thick. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's something everybody can enjoy. There's something in that for everyone. That's not a good title for a show. No, no, it's a great title because it's an expression everyone knows. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, hey, this man's unusually thick. Yeah. Unreasonably.

Derek next door didn't return the lawnmower. Well, he is unusually thick. See? Right? Does that work? Is that how you use it? It's unusually. They got the no reservations theme song.

Do you remember when Alan Thicke hosted the Canadian Comedy Awards and everyone was very confused? I don't think anybody was confused. Were you confused? I was confused as to why he was doing it. Oh, because, you know, the big CCA money. Oh, yeah. That's all. He says yes.

He's a yes man. Like that movie Yes Man. He says yes to anything. Yeah, that's right. He says yes. He's a yes man. Like that movie Yes Man. He says yes to anything. Yeah, that's right. He's a life-affirming guy. Unless, well, he was involved in that murder because one guy said, well, you helped me murder a guy. Yes.

Because I am on this thing where I say yes to everybody. You're taking advantage. He was, that movie would have been a lot stronger with Alan Thicke. Most movies. You could say. That's true. You know, name a movie lot stronger with Alan Thicke. Most movies, you could say, you know, name a movie and then picture Alan Thicke, at least in a supporting role. No. Starring. Yeah, no, you're right. Starring. No, he should have been in Dunstan Checks In. No monkey. He should have been in Maleficent. Maleficent? Elephants. Massophilian. Unusually Maleficent? Yeah. Maleficent. Elephants. Massophilians.

Unusually Maleficent? Unusually Maleficent. What is Maleficent? Maleficent? That can't be it. Male- Fast- Too furious.

Yeah. Male too fast too furious. Dave, what's going on with you, man? I went to Toronto for work for a whirlwind 48 hours, if that. Really?

Yeah. Flew in on Monday. How romantic. Flew out on Wednesday. Buy, sell, buy, sell. Yeah, yeah. Buy low, though, guys. Don't buy high.

Oh, guys, you bought too high. You sold too low. Yeah. Stayed at the Skydome Hotel. Oh, really? Did you really? Yeah. Did it look out on the...

Some of the rooms did. Mine did not. But, like, I was... Visible. The hallway is curved. For the listener who doesn't know, it's a hotel that's attached to the stadium, the baseball stadium and football in Toronto. Home of the Argos and the Blue Jays.

Yeah. The Rogers Skydome? Isn't it Rogers Arena? Rogers Field. Rogers Box? Yeah. The Rogers Box. Yeah.

Yeah. Formerly known as the Skydome, which by the way, it was the 25th anniversary of the Sky Dome this year. Happy birthday. And they showed, and people were showing clips online of when the Sky Dome first opened, and Alan Thicke was the host of the Sky Dome. Yeah, it was Alan Thicke and Andrea Martin. Wow. Oh, yeah, good duo. Yeah, right? Yeah Thicke and Andrea Martin. Wow. Oh, yeah. Good duo. Yeah, right?

Yeah. Remember their classic bit? They're like the Canadian Nichols and May. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, Thicke and Martin. And doesn't sound that bad, Thicke and Martin. No, we should start that group. Yeah, unusually Martin.

And yeah, so Toronto's fine. Yeah, it's great. It's great. It's very hot there. Were there any tornadoes? It is too hot. It's too hot. It's too hot.

Muggy. Muggy, you guys. But what did I want to talk about? I don't know, Toronto. Did you see any, you saw some concerts? No. Yeah. In the 48 hours, I saw nothing.

I went to a meeting and I came home, saw my friend and then came home. Yeah. That's pretty good. Yeah. It was fun. Did you have a, was it a high powered meeting? Yeah. Every meeting I'm at is high powered.

Yeah. Did you get any brunch? Yeah. No, no, I didn't get any brunch. I got catered breakfast. Okay. Well, why are we even talking about this? no, I didn't get any brunch. I got catered breakfast. Okay, well, why are we even talking about this? Yeah, I don't know. I mean, Jesus.

But the hotel I'm at, it's the one attached to the stadium. And you could tell it was attached to the stadium because the hallways were all curved. Right. Because the stadium is a circle. Right. But my room was on the outside, but I walked by one of the rooms while they were cleaning it, and I looked in,

and yeah, it looks out onto the field. Fucking A. And I remember when the field first opened, it was like one of the first stadiums, stadia, with a retractable roof for the weather. Yeah. Even though at the time, and I guess even today, they still haven't mastered that technology.

And they're like, it takes 25 minutes to close the roof if it starts raining. They got to make the call at four in the afternoon for a nine o'clock game. That's right. Well, they got to get the one guy who has the keys. Because the stadium here now is retractable. But, uh, oh, we can't do it if it's wet. If the sun comes out,

that's fine, but we still have to wait for it to dry. You don't want to get mold in there. Worth it, though, I think. Think of all the memories that we've had in that place since it got its new roof. You too, was there. One of the things

my cab driver and I were talking about this. Because I'm, you know... You're a man of the people. Chatty guy. Yeah. My cab driver and I were like, hey, do you remember

when the Skydome opened at first? And there was that hotel there. And there was a couple having sex during a baseball game. Oh, really? And everyone could see it. must have known of course they knew that's why they did it let's do that yeah put them on the glass um that would be like a viral sensation now right oh yeah man it doesn't sex on a baseball field? It reminds me, in Japan, when they,

the Japanese, when they watch baseball games and they cheer for the American players, their cheer is, do your best please. Adorable. Which I think is the sweetest thing. Is there like a history of Americans going in there and dogging it? No, it's just their way of being

like, just supportive. They just go, do your best please. In English. Yeah, in it? No, it's just their way of being like, just supportive. They just go, do your best, please. Yeah, in English. Oh, that's great. Isn't that kind? Wow. Probably, they probably do, because they're asked nicely. Yeah.

Did you ever see the movie Mr. Baseball? Oh, yeah. With Tom Selleck? Yeah. And Dennis Haysbert. Oh, yeah. Was Dennis Haysbert in it? He was in Major League.

He might have also been in this Really? I just remember Tom Selleck Yeah That's I can say that About a lot of things Google Dennis Haysbert Baseball movie

Specifically Mr. Baseball Searching Google For Dennis Haysbert Baseball movie Oh Siri You're just having A hard time today Huh?

Oh he was in Mr. Baseball He played Max Hammer Dubois pretty good but he was also in major league he was he played the voodoo guy oh you know voodoo jones i'll have to re-watch that one wasn't there some speaking of like a couple having sex in the field or whatever wasn't there a concert recently where there was a couple having sex And like everybody was paying attention to them And not the band and the band leader Were they at Boneroo? Yeah, they were at Boneroo

But the guy had to ask security Like, hey, go break those guys Like, go break them up over there Stealing my thunder Yeah, yeah A lot of people were watching the couple having sex in the field Instead of the band I saw my friend Pat in Toronto

And he was telling me uh we were talking he was like oh yeah you opened up you were a cool teenager and i wasn't he's like you opened up a lot of music to me because i won i won free tickets to bands hootie and uh the blowfish i think and uh it we were maybe 15 sure and there was a woman in the audience on her boyfriend's shoulders who opened up her shirt oh and uh showed her boobs to the band and the band like it it was boring like the band was just playing like hootie and the Blowfish's music. Yeah. And staring out at this woman. And then everyone in the audience turned around and looked at this woman.

And it was the first time we saw boobs in real life. Wow. Wow. I mean, other than Vanessa Williams being. Yeah. Remember when Hootie and the Blowfish were on Friends? Yeah. And Monica made out with one of the Blowfish.

Right. But they weren't on it. They were alluded to. Yeah. And Monica made out with one of the Blowfish. Right. But they weren't on it. They were alluded to. They were too big at the time for Friends. It was an episode where three of the Friends could afford to go

to a Who Do You Want Blowfish concert. Right. And three of them could not. I bet you I can guess which the three were. Go. The ones that could afford it.

Yeah. Monica. Yeah. Chandler. And Ross. Ta-da. And the people left it? Yeah. Monica. Yeah. Chandler. And Ross. Ta-da. And the people left in the cold. Nope.

Gunther. See? You weren't going to guess Gunther. Ugly naked guy. Ugly naked guy. And the cat. Mr. Tickles. And smelly cat.

The duck and the chick. That was a good show, you guys. That was a fun show. Yeah. That was like my generation's happy endings. Absolutely. What's happy endings? I think I always make a choice not to watch that on Netflix.

Is that right? Yeah, it's funny. Is it? Yeah. Okay. It's packed with jokes. Oh, great, great. Charming personalities.

Amazing. I can't wait. I'm going to binge watch that later. Yeah, Oh, great, great. Charming personalities. Amazing. I can't wait. I'm going to binge watch that later. Yeah, do it. BW it. Yeah, so I went to Toronto, watched, oh, you guys. Last time you were on, I think you talked about how you took a flight with WestJet and they didn't have TVs. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. I took a flight with WestJet. They had TVs. And it was amateur hour. And no one around me knew how to fly on a plane. The guy sitting next to me was... Buckling their heads into the seats. The guy sitting next to me was like...

He was like, hey, how do you get a TV to work? And I was like, just push buttons. Yeah, just keep pushing buttons. Have you never seen buttons before? Just give at it. Like, just try a bunch of things. Yeah. Exactly.

And then the guy. Freestyle. The guy, a guy behind me tapped on my shoulder. That's not supposed to happen. No, no. I was like, oh, like he taps on my shoulder. Pardon me, sir. That was a mistake, right?

That guy accidentally reached forward. I didn't even acknowledge it. That's bold. Kept tapping like hey how are you watching TV? Do you need to swipe your credit card anyway? Get out! Yeah swipe it into my wallet. Yeah just use my ka-chunk machine. What he didn't have

anyone next to him to ask or you were the only one who figured out TV? I was the only one who figured out that there was a soccer game on. And he was like I want that. I want to be I'm mad about soccer soccer game on. Oh, and he was like, I want that. I want to be, I'm mad about soccer for a month. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Muy bueno. When I flew back from Toronto, I flew Air Canada, and only half the plane had TVs, not my half.

What? And there was a huge torrential rainstorm, thunderstorm, red alert gets called. And when that happens, everyone has to get off the tarmac. But we were on the airplane. So we're sitting on the airplane and it was just like torrential rain. And I looked out the window because I didn't have a TV. So what else am I supposed to look at? You didn't read a book.

I didn't bring one. Yeah, you thought you were going to have to have, that's what happened to me on air. Because I was excited to watch. Exactly. I was like, ooh, TV and movies. Yeah. So I was like, well, I better look out the window. And what do I see?

and movies? Yeah. So I was like, well, I better look out the window and what do I see but my luggage sitting on the tarmac just getting

soaking wet. This is the thing. I mean, step it up, guys. Yeah. Another thing that happened. I thought you were going to say there was a guy outside

watching TV. Just having the best time. Yeah. I'm so mad. Happy endings. It's hilarious. Alicia Cuthberthbert right is she in that one yeah yeah nice uh but the other thing this is actually i think what i wanted to talk about i just couldn't remember good good stalling when i was at the airport today uh there was a guy in the security line like four people people ahead of me. And he was like a 40 year old dude. Looked a little, uh, you know, just like a sort of rural dude.

Like, uh, you know, like what country Western? Maybe just more sort of like kind of into hunting and stuff. And like, uh, was wearing a big, uh, a big belt buckle that said, ride it like you stole it. Ride her it like you stole it ride her like you stole her ride her like you stole her i mean one is okay and then the other one is okay ride it like you stole it could be a motorcycle that's fine yeah that's dangerous why not also don't steal things how am i gonna put it don't understand this great slogan, where am I going to put it? On a poster? And just sort of wearing like, you know, like a vest and sort of stuff you would wear hunting. Sure, yeah.

And he said to the, he was like 40-ish, and he said to the, a girl next to him in line for security said, this is my first time on an airplane. Weird. And I like couldn't take my eyes off him from then on. I was, uh, there were two women in front of me between the two of us. And I was like,

Oh, I want to see this guy go to security. I was like, I want to see him not, I want to see him have to pull out this giant crocodile Dundee. Yeah. All these bullets in his pocket. Clang,

clang. And like, whatever, like, uh, do you have any liquids? Just deer urine. crocodile dundee yeah all these bullets in his pocket clang clang and like whatever like do you have any liquids just deer urine yeah but a whole more than 100 milliliters

yeah I would it would be cool to watch him go through it too because he would see what is ridiculous yeah you know there are certain things

when you go through airport security one guy tries to make a shoe bomb and now we all have to take off our shoes yeah which infuriates me to no end.

And also they're not consistent. Some airports it's like keep your belt on some places it's like eh, take it off. One time I went through and they were like don't take your shoes off

and I had already taken them off and they acted like I had made that up. You there, put your shoes on your hands. Like you had gone over to their house and climbed into their bed. Yeah. Don't take your shoes off. Yeah Like you had gone over to their house And climbed into their bed Yeah Don't take your

Don't take your shoes off Yeah I invited you into my bed Keep your shoes off I mean we'll scan your shoes But you'll find There's no metal in them Because you're just wearing

Soft runners I was wearing I just wear espadrilles Everywhere And But like one of the The guy went through With no problem but the girl in front of me who seemed like she knew what she was doing uptown city gal yeah she had just like this huge tub

of like face cream come on and they were like and she was completely confused and she was she's applying she's let me just keep applying it until there's an until is this and i wasn't really paying attention to her because i was so focused on this guy but all throughout the lineup she was opening her bag and moving stuff around and not really knowing what she was doing it was a real uh one of those situations where the thing you expect is the opposite of the thing that happens god damn it i wish there was a word for that anyway it was fun trip yeah makes me makes me pine for maybe i'll watch crocodile dundee when i go yeah yeah that's a knife yeah that's the line right yeah that's a knife that's a check out his knife agreed

must have a knife let it be known so say us all that's a knife that's a knife now graham yes what what what are you what who do you think you are you think you're better than me i uh because you were you usually work at the canadian broadcasting corporation you were away yesterday okay when uh now you know we taped this in uh the the end of june We're recording this on June 18th. I'd call it the middle. Middle. We're in the middle. There was an announcement yesterday by the government that they were going to approve a pipeline.

That's been controversial. Everyone's been like, hey, we want a pipeline. We want a pipeline. Not a dirty itcher. And we get it sooner. Belly itcher. So there was a What would you Not a flash protest But like

A last minute protest That happened right in front of The Canadian Broadcasting Corporation As though we were in charge of it As though we were the people to protest Yeah yeah Well it was Yeah I was like

I was pretty impressed with How many people showed up For a last minute thing I don't know Like it's It's like a call to arms Or a Yeah people probably got a text that afternoon

yeah a lot of uh when i when i walked out i was i was just a rubbernecker i was just checking out the scene seeing what was going on uh there's always a guy at every protest that is uh trying out his own agenda so he was a guy who was wearing all hemp and he had a sign that said something like hemp lines not pipelines something not terribly clever and hey

damn it there's no more circumcision Mario Lopez isn't he in favor of that he's pro foreskin he's in the foreskin

force but yeah like it was thrown together and I was like how many of these people are just rubbernecking like me like just people checking it out and how many people are legit and then how many are just hippie hangers on you know what i mean right and uh i ran into uh past guest emmet

hall we're chatting we're like i don't know don't know how do these like how does it happen so fast in a day how do all these people know where to go and they have the time to go there and do it

hippies don't have iPhones this is what I'm saying but maybe they had drums so maybe like you said right

but they then we left and we got a drink and then when we came back it had turned into a dance party like there was a

DJ and there was a lot of people dancing and skrillex yeah skrillex was there he dropped at least one beat oh wow yeah everyone everyone was using devil sticks uh it was like that yeah like it went from being wow this is like how did they get all these people together so fast for this protest that you know people to because they want to be in front of the media and everything, to... We're our feet, actually. Sorry, we just touched. Oh, hey, okay. I was wondering, because I thought you guys were both giving hand signals, like, we'll both tell Graham to shut up.

That's what I thought it was. We both went, I acknowledge that was your point. Yeah, okay. I think that happens every episode. Mm-hmm. The guest... You touch a foot? Yeah. Yeah, okay. I think that happens every episode. Mm-hmm. The guest usually... You touch a foot? Yeah.

Yeah, sure. The guest and I both like rubbing our feet on the pole in the middle. Yeah. It's nice. It's like a cat scratch. Cat scratch fever. You guys have a cat scratch fever. Yeah.

Yeah. But anyway, so it turned from legit... Have you attended a protest as a protester? I don't think I've ever been at a protest as a legit protester. I think I've always been just rubbernecking, checking it out. Yeah. Do you get paid $1,000 every time you use the word rubbernecking? Yeah, yeah.

I think it's appropriate because it's a funny word and it rolls off the tongue. Yeah. Yeah, no, it is fun. Yeah. It reminds me of a rubber chicken. Yeah, exactly. And their long necks. That's the sound of a rubber chicken. Yeah, exactly. And their long necks. That's the sound of a rubber necker.

Absolutely. Kaylin, have you ever been to a protest? Like with a placard and, you know, save our... God hates fags. You're in the Westboro map. I went to one in 1996. Sure. For the referendum.

Pro grunge. Because we didn't want Quebec to separate and they wanted to have a referendum. Right. And then we were saying, but it was very confusing because it was like, say yes to this bill. To the dress? Say yes to no. Say yes to no. That's basically what it was.

Say yes to no. It took place in Kleinfeld. Very, very confusing. Kleinfeld. Randy was there. That's amazing. Have you? Dave?

No. My wife, Abby, has. I forget what it even was. But it was like, spend a night, like, camp out on the legislature. Wow. The front lawns of the, you know, provincial parliament. And her only story was that she was, you know, dressed to camp out one night. And they were just walking up the street.

And some, like, teenage girls with their mother driving drove past in a car. And the girls, like, leaned out of the car and yelled, homeless! First of all, that's not a nice thing to yell at people and what if they were exactly don't that's what they've been trained to do identify yeah see something say something yeah yell it yeah the first part of of uh eradicating the homeless problem is identifying the homeless yeah absolutely she's in charge of tagging them with her words. Like a scarlet letter. But yeah, I don't think I've ever,

I don't know if I, do I care about anything in a virtual process? No, I've never believed in anything. That's the thing, right? You have to really, really care. Or you have to want

to go dancing. Right. You have to want to go to an outdoor dance party. Oh, then those people should just go to Coachella and never come back. That's how I feel about people who go to Coachella Go

Stay Yeah Well Eventually Coachella would be the most powerful city on earth Keep it there It would be real powerful Yeah real powerful The power of protesting

Yeah And dancing to Anything Isn't Coachella the one where all the celebrities Go to? Oh sure Yeah So you'd have a Jessica Alba.

Sure. Yeah, what does she believe in? Rights. Yeah. Rights, freedoms. Honey. She believes in honey. She believes in the power of dance.

Lip balm. I think she believes in lip balm. The transformative power of hair color. Mm-hmm. It would for sure have the most tank tops per capita, Coachella. TTPC. How did you do that that fast? Oh, Dave's a genius.

Yeah, I'm sure. Did you really just do tank tops per? Wow. Yeah. TTPC. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what Dave shouts when he goes to a protest. TTPC.

Is it a sickness for you to be that smart? No, no. I took a statistics course. We learned all about tank tops per capita or TTPC. I'm saying how quickly you were able to abbreviate that into just letters. The TGPC sawgrass.

Guys, we're having a lot of fun here. We are. But there's one thing that's not funny. Pipeline. No, I don't think I could ever

believe in anything because I don't think I'm smart enough to like read the literature on like. Well, that's what we were questioning.

We were like, how many people here know what is going on? The people who are speaking certainly seem to know what the literature on like that's what we were questioning we were like how many people here know what is going on the people who are speaking certainly seem to know what was going on sean devlin yes uh past guest sean devlin he's so smart with that kind of stuff but then i was like how many people are just like just like uh me over here just standing gawking yeah because i have things i think i believe in but if someone questioned me i'd be like oh no you're right i want to give this up real quick i can buckle real fast it's that thing too of i wonder if people are just like i just don't like our prime minister and other people have said he's done a dumb thing so i'll get on board with that like

i think people like the idea of like, um, movements in general. Yeah. It's why they all go to a parade. Bowel movements. Why do so many people go to parades? That's what you were thinking the whole time. Yeah. Bowel movements. BMs. I'm very good at, at abbreviating things.

Okay. Well, that one wasn't so good, actually. That's an obvious one. But like, uh, the, uh, uh, then they did, then they, they marched. People like to march. Okay. Like, I think if you give them a steady beat. When I was a kid, I went into a, uh, into a, my parents brought me to like the peace march.

Yeah. But I don't think that's a very controversial thing to fight for. Well, wait, was it an anti-peace march? Yeah, it was anti-peace. It was for war. I was like, here's what it's good for. War, what is it good for? A Saturday afternoon with your parents.

They actually played that yesterday at the protest. What is it good for? But I was like, well, this isn't, is this what this is? I'm confused.

I thought this was about hemp. According to this guy's sign, it's about hemp. Hemp lines. He's also probably that guy that you described is also the guy who's trying to sleep

with everyone there. Oh, yeah. And he's using those tricks, how to trick women to sleep with you. You know, those men who are like hypnosis. A-T-H-T-T-W-T-S-W-Y.

Yeah, there you go. Nailed it. Your eyes are bleeding, by the way. That's getting dizzy. You think there were guys there to play the game? The game.

Has anyone tried the game on you? I've had the game tried on me on a subway car in Toronto. No way. Did it work? No.

I was very offended. I just assumed that's how you met your husband. And that's how I met Chris. And we've been married. It'll be a year in August. What was the... It was this weird thing. This man just approached me and said, I'm sure no one's ever told you that you're beautiful

before. Why does that mean? Is it because of your nose? Well, because I have this big bone in my nose, right? Which is actually a hard thing to look at. Now that I see it, she does have one of those bones going through her nose. Like a cartoon cannibal.

Yeah, yeah. No one was paying attention to it before until this man came up. And so it's this whole thing of like, he tries to put women down and then wouldn't you be so lucky to get a date? Right. Oh, I see. Boy, do I have an offer for you.

Okay. I'm a guy who dates you. He was the kind of guy who would say things like, you know, life is short. And if you don't say yes to me right now, you might regret it for the rest of your life. It's like, are you threatening me?

Yeah. It felt like a threat at that point. Is this a knife? Yeah. These are knives. And he opened up his trench coat

with so many knives. Yeah. He's also a knife salesman. Yeah. And some ninja stars. But I was surprised at how confident he was for such an ugly man

well that's the key confidence confidence yeah oh was he very ugly was he profoundly ugly yes he was very ugly and very old

oh nice and had no business talking to me at the age of 22 oh wow one of those where you're like whoa wait

and maybe that's what because I didn't say no right away like I would have just said, you're very kind. Please, I'm having a quiet time. Go away. Right. Well, at 22, there's a good chance no one had said you were beautiful before.

No, my God. Because, you know, young guys don't have that kind of old man confidence. Yeah, that's true. Also, I was a real late bloomer. Only kissed a boy when I was 19. Really? First kiss. What were you doing?

Did you practice on a fruit or a vegetable? Mirror. Oh, really? Tried the mirror sometimes. Kissing your elbow. Kissing your reflection. Kissing the elbow, the inside of the elbow. Yeah. Hey, that sounds like a good idea. I'll see you guys later. Yeah, check this out. Dave's the best kisser I know.

My pillow with the new kids on the block on it. Uh-huh. Yeah. And then I had another pillow with... All five of them? No, just Joey. Whoa, Joey only? Uh-huh. Wow.

So his whole face was the size of the pillow. So it was like I was sharing a bed with him. Good morning, Joey. Hi, Joey McIntyre. You still believe in God a lot? Uh-huh. Uh-huh. There it is.

You'd ruin my whole world. I love them. So. They're on tour. If a, say an old ugly guy just gave you a compliment. I think we talked about that last time you were on. Yeah. I think we maybe also talked about you not kissing anyone ever.

Oh God, I hate myself. You've got one story. If an old guy, an old ugly guy just paid you a compliment without it being the game. Yeah. Would, what would that, would that be like? That'd be nice. Would it? Sure.

Or would it just be like, what's up with this old guy? It's the intention behind things, right? If the intention is to, is to be deceitful and tricky and manipulative, then it, it taints it. Yeah. Yeah. As opposed to someone just saying, you know, like, like when my uncle George compliments me, you know, uncle George, uncle George compliments me, you know? Uncle George.

Uncle George just licks his lips and goes in for the kiss. I saw my Uncle George the other day and, you know, he's not my uncle by blood, but he married my great aunt. Sure. And every time I see him, he licks his lips and then he goes, oh, to be young again. No. Uh-huh. That's scary. It's scary it's awful yeah yeah it's disgusting so scary and then my either my mother or my father will go jesus christ george we're family that's usually how the the dinner ends wow george uncle george gross george pervy keep it in your high pants.

I assume he's got high pants. How long has he been married to your great aunt? For like 50 years. Oh, okay. So he's been with you your whole life. Yeah. So he's been a creep your whole life. He's always, but he, yeah, like he just.

Ah, to be a baby again. Yeah. Oh, yeah. He does it with my mom, all my aunts. Weird. Yeah. Uncle George, all my aunts. Weird. Yeah. Uncle George, you just bummed me out. Uncle George is a real creep.

Yeah. I thought you were being, when you said he like paid me a compliment like my Uncle George, I thought that was a real thing until you told me how gross he was. Yeah. Yeah. Gross Uncle George. Real rollercoaster ride. Real rollercoaster ride.

Welcome to my life. I can't. I don't know. I can't handle it. You know, every day I wake up exhausted. Just exhausted. It's hard. Life's hard.

Life is hard. Right, guys? Absolutely. Every day. Every day is a battle. But you know what will make it easier? Overhearts. You know that feeling you get when you hear a song that you just love

what about a new movie or a new book or tv show i'm jesse thorne my show bullseye points to the good stuff in popular culture the kind of stuff that will change your life in-depth interviews with cultural creators critics picks for the best new releases and a weekly recommendation from yours truly it's bullseye with me, Jesse Thorne, from MaximumFun.org and PRI. Hi, my name is Rishi Keshirway, and I have a podcast called Song Explorer. In each episode, a musician takes apart one of their songs, and piece by piece tells you the story of how it was made. You get an inside look into the creative and technical process, and a unique view of a song by hearing just the drums, or just the guitars, or say, just a Wurlitzer piano.

If you're a fan of music, if you make music, or if you just like to learn how things are made, come check it out on MaximumFun.org. Thanks. on MaximumFun.org. Thanks. Overheard. Overheards. Now, these are when you're out in the world, you hear things, you report them here to the podcast.

We always like to start with the guest. Well, so I've been thinking about this because the minute that you asked me to be on the podcast, I had to then actually pay attention to everyone else. Which I normally like to do. It's hard. You usually focused on you. Focus on me, not falling, don't forget to breathe. Oh, yeah.

Simple things. Just get a tattoo that says breathe. Just breathe. I should put it on the inside of my wrist. In white ink so you can read it in a black light. Or I could just cut it into my forearm, so it's just a forever scar. Now you're working smart. You're not working hard.

Thank you, Dave. Free tattoo. And I overheard something, and it made me think of you and Abby, because I know you guys are having a baby. What? And I know you can't hide it from me anymore. I actually listen to the podcast, so it's not a lie or a secret. A lie You guys have been lying

To everyone about this baby It's fun You know what It's been fun It's a fun lie to have Yeah And I was at Car Free Days Which is one of the worst things

In the world Why Where everyone just walks Slowly in front of me Yeah There's sidewalk sales It's just meandering And stores are

Now have their stores You should like Seinfeld Because they're bad people Who would hate Carver E. Day's too Well maybe I don't like me And that's what this is about Right And I overheard

Two women talking About their child And one Or not their child But it was Woman A's baby And woman B Was cooing over him

Or her Can't tell It's a baby Yeah And then picking at it And then feeding it Woman A's baby and woman B was cooing over him or her. Can't tell. It's a baby. Yeah. And then picking at it and then feeding it from its mouth, a la Alicia Silverstone. And she said, oh, you can tell that your baby has a really old soul. And I thought that was one of the creepiest things that you could tell another person, which is that there's an old soul living in your baby's body.

You can tell your baby has a gypsy soul. Oh, you can tell that there's an old man inside your body. Yeah. And he's living through you. It's the way that he's licking his lips, I can tell. You can tell because your baby's bald. Yeah. Oh, you can tell he has a really old soul.

Yeah. Oh, to be young again. I am. Why? Because he's looking at you or into the distance Because all babies look like old men And they're wearing diapers am I right? It's like the beginning of your life Is like the end of your life right?

Wait what? Your first birthday is a lot like your last birthday For reasons My mind is blown Secret life of Walterter middy of course yeah yeah did you see that i tried yeah and and then i happened um what happened i didn't care for any of it or anyone it was too emotionally yes it was too middy it was like oh you're clearly trying to be emotionally manipulative is it mid M-I-D-I, MIDI?

Yeah. Maybe it's MIDI, Mighty? Yeah, the MIDI files. Yeah. The MIDI files? It's a lot of like... Like Medici? Computerized music from the early 90s?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. No, no, no, no, no, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, no, no, no, no.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, no, no, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, no. I know, I know, I know. No, no, no, no. Yeah, I know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I thought that no, no, no, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, no, no, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, no. I know, I know, I know. No, no, no, no. Yeah, I know. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, no, no. Yeah. So I thought that was a really creepy thing to say to somebody and inappropriate. And also you should just say, hey, cool, a baby. And stop saying- Hey, cool, a baby. Cool, a baby. Whoa, baby free days.

Weird. They're just like us, kind of. Yeah. They're like lazy us's. Man, I wish I was a baby. Oh, boy. Dude, kind of. Yeah. We're like lazy us's. Man, I wish I was a baby. Oh, boy. Dude, you were. Yeah, but I forget it.

Yeah, but you don't because you're you now. I should go into the rebirthing ceremony. I just want to be swaddled. Oh, being swaddled. So my arms don't fly up all the time. Isn't that the best feeling? Did your mom or dad ever do that where they would tuck you in really tightly into bed? Yeah.

I love that feeling. Being swaddled like a gorilla, like something big enough to swaddle a human being would be the greatest. Like just wrap you in bands.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. But when you would get tucked in, would you stay tucked in? Mm-mm. Yeah, you would immediately be like,

okay, I sleep on my side now. But thanks. But I liked seeing my parents work. I like seeing them be like, oh, I caught a nail. You're like, you better work. You better work, bitch. You want a Maserati? You better work, bitch.

You want a sexy potty? You better work, bitch. Dave, do you have an overheard? You know what I do? Yep. This past weekend was the CBC Music Festival. CBC Music Festival. At Deer Lake Park in Burnaby, British Columbia.

And I went there as a representative of CBC Music. And it was great. I got to stand at the side of the stage. I got to, you know. Wave at the fans. Hey, everybody. Well, I got to like, the side of the stage i got to uh you know wave at the fans hey everybody well i got to like hey hey uh there's uh tegan and sarah i get to i get to stand you know very close to them i get just although have you ever been to a concert where you see people standing at the side of the stage and you're like wow how do they get who are those

who are they it sounds terrible. You don't hear any like, all the speakers are pointed away from you. Right. And you're hearing just the drums. I was watching like just recently, I watched Woodstock, the movie. Stealing Woodstock with Demetri Martin? Yeah, that's the one.

The Ang Lee joint? That's what's considered the Woodstock movie, correct? And when Santana's playing, there's some dude that basically, he steals focus. He's wearing a crazy... Rob Thomas? Was it Rob Thomas? Yeah, it was a baby Rob Thomas.

He was jamming at the stage. He was air guitaring. You know, it's just like the ocean under the moon. Go on. Same as the emotion that I get from you. You got the kind of love. Doesn't feel good, does it? So you can see on Dave's face that he wasn't enjoying that.

No, but he had to. Trumpet solo. Just dead eyes in a trumpet solo. So you're standing to the side of the stage. Oh, yes. So actually, I got a bunch of overheards

from that day and I did a blog post for CBC Music. CBCMusic.ca You won't be able to find it there. But you know what? I'll post a link

in the episode recap. Go find it. Go read it. But there was one overheard that I mentioned to the other people I work with. And they were like, oh, yeah, that's great. You can't put that in the blog post because it's offensive. And because we have a corporate sponsor for this. Yeah.

But one of the performers of the show was a singer named Hannah Georges. And another performer was this band called Wake Owl. Yep. And. Confirmed. Heard of them. And during Hannah Georges' set, she said, give it up for Wake Owl. And I overheard someone at the side of the stage say, did she say give it up for white power?

Please do. You're here anyways. Give it up for white power, everybody. Wait, wait, no, wait. You can't take it back, you clapped. I'm so conditioned to giving it up for things. But it's so true. The guy on the side of the stage is this weird, powerful,

must be a celebrity or a manager of sorts. But it is kind of crap because you don't get to watch the performers. You're actually facing the thousands of dumpy-faced people who are the real uggos in plain Janes. I went to a big British festival in 2002 the Reading Festival outside of London, England and

I saw many celebrities at the side of the stage during the soundtrack of our lives I saw Noel Gallagher standing there with his giant

round head Kate Moss was there in her crazy boots and then when I saw the White Stripes there there's such a small band. There's just two of them.

And the side of the stage was so crowded with celebrities, mostly other performers from the festival, but it was just like the whole stage was just crowded and there was a very narrow room for the band to perform. Oh, really? Yeah. It's just like, oh, there's too many VIPs. Yeah.

Basically, like. We've let too many celebrities backstage. The whole polyphonic spree was there. They're all 90 of them. Friends with the band. Yeah. We're standing at the side of the stage. All of Feist's music video dancers were in there.

Yeah, exactly. Isn't it funny that Jack White took Meg White's last name? Yeah. Yeah. I always think that's so interesting. What was Jack White took Meg White's last name? Yeah, yeah. I always think that's so interesting. What is his proper last name? Hitler. Oh, wow. I guess it is kind of funny.

So I understand why. Like Jack Hitler. Jack White power. Jack White, yeah. I mean, it's variations on a theme. Yeah, absolutely. The Fart Patrol. Jack Fart Patrol was his last name. They wereart Patrol. Jack Fart Patrol. That's his last name.

They were going to be the Fart Patrol Stripes. They were. Oh, man, I would go check out that band. This is the, hey, everybody, we're the Fart Patrol Stripes.

This gig sucks. They're the band that only wears brown. And they only play one note. The brown note. Yeah, I know. Okay. I didn't,

I mean, you groaned. I know, but I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm, you groaned. I know, but I'm sorry. Implying you didn't get the joke. No, I groaned because I loved it. No, it's hard to tell. Groans of love. It was more of a moan. It was an erotic moan.

Graham. Yes, sir. What'd you hear? I overheard, I've been taking the same bus for the last few days, so you see the same regs getting on at the same stops. And there's this guy that I'm not sure is not wearing a wig. His hair is so kind of old and dried out, but his hair is so vibrant. And I'm like, that's got to be a wig. Could it just be dyed?

No, but it's like the quality of the hair. Coarse? Is there a coarseness to it? No, but it's like the quality of the hair. Coarse. Is there a coarseness to it? No, but it's like bouncy and flouncy and crazy. Yeah. Is it like a Farrah Fawcett wig? No, it's more like Jerry Lee Lewis. It's crazy.

It's curly and it's everywhere. Oh, maybe he just has a lot of fish oil in his diet. Oh, you think so? Maybe. Yeah, you never know. Well, it's not doing anything for the rest of his body. Maybe his hair is sapping the energy from the rest of his body. Maybe he's a fish. Maybe he's never know. Well, it's not doing anything for the rest of his body. Maybe his hair is sapping the energy from the rest of his body. Maybe he's a fish.

Maybe he's a fish. Maybe he sleeps upside down and all the nutrients fall down to his hair. Yeah, like a fish bat. Like some sort of fish bat. You know the ones? So he was monkeying with his phone. Wait, was he a fish or a monkey? Well, he was kind of like that uh fijian mermaid he was

half monkey half fish oh have you ever heard of the fijian mermaid is that the renee russo movie no it was a uh a ripley's believe it or not thing i don't believe it it was a guy who stitched together a monk like you know a monkey and a fish like the corpses of oh and said that this was the mermaid and he took it on tour, the Fijian mermaid. It was this super famous exhibition. And it was only like years later when somebody bought it that they were like, it's just a fish stitched to a monkey. My hotel in Toronto was right next to a Ripley's Believe It or Not,

which made me believe I was in the cool part of things. Yeah, absolutely. But it's also an aquarium that Ripley's Believe It or Not. Oh, really? Yeah. Fish. Believe it or not. Believe it? Underwater aquarium that Ripley's believing in. Oh, really? Yeah. Fish. Believe in a fish.

Believe it? Underwater beings. I don't know. So, anyways, he was playing with his phone, and he had earbuds in that he, it looked like he was communicating on his phone through the earbud microphone. But old people don't know how earbuds work. Exactly. And as soon as he hung up the call, he was saying, huh? Okay. All right, I'll see you soon. And he took off the earbuds. He goes, well, these don't know how earbuds work. Exactly. And as soon as he hung up the call, he was saying, huh? Okay.

All right, I'll see you soon. And he took off the earbuds. He goes, well, these don't do anything. So I'm not convinced there was a microphone in there or anything. He was just hearing the call that everybody else was hearing. Oh, let me tell you the story about the call that changed my destiny. Oh, what? Go on.

I don't know the next line. The Backstreet Boys song. You know the Backstreet Boys? I do. I'm telling you about the call that changed my destiny. Me and some other guys are new to me. I'm sorry. Someone has to listen to this.

I mean, Destiny doesn't. I'm fine with it. The thing about Destiny is it doesn't get changed. Unlike Destiny's Child, which does get changed. Sorry, Kevin Rollins and the other girl. And that other girl, that original girl. The original girl. The original changes.

Woof. That's talking about changes. Harsh. Now, we also have overheards that have been sent in from around the world. If you want to send one in to us, you can send it in to spy at maximumfund.org. spy at maximumfund.org. And this first one comes from James S. In Chicago.

Chicago, Illinois. Oh, that's Chicago. The Windy City. The Windiest. This is right. You've been. You know Chicago. Love Chicago.

Sweet home Chicago? Mm-hmm. This is a guy at a local coffee shop talking on his, uh, telephone in the booth next to me. Oh, hey, honey. Oh, yeah. Uh, if you're going, sure. Could you pick me up some of those, uh, boxer briefs? The kind with extra large crotch space? Extra large.

Well, medium as a size is fine, but just make sure they have extra large crotch space. Who is he whispering for? He's being funny. Yeah. He's being funny. He's being funny for his wife, and she's not getting it. But you're a medium. Yeah.

They're just, they're elastic, so I don't think it matters. I mean, you're going to wear them out anyways. You wear them twice, they loosen up. Yeah, exactly. Once they've been Through the wash Good luck I know

I don't I think that would be Droopy on you No that's not But honey You have such Tot balls Gotta find a man

With tot balls Tot My psychic said so This next one Comes from Marcus S. in New Zealand. Oh. Way down yonder. Read it backwards.

Way down yonder. My friends and I were walking home at night. Which is daytime. Yeah, in our time. Absolutely. Yeah, people will walk around with shoes on their hands. Everything's upside down. walk around with his shoes on their hands.

Everything's upside down. The car approaches, and a dude leans out of the car and looks as if he's about to yell out some verbal abuse. I'm not sure if he got stage fright, or forgot what he was going to say, or merely didn't realize how fast his car was going, because all he managed to come up with was

FUCK! Before quickly driving away. fuck, before quickly driving away. I think a good thing to yell in that situation, if you're overwhelmed, is just like, never mind. Yeah, yeah. Homeless. Homeless.

Homeless. Never mind. Do you get yelled at a lot? No, do you? By passing cars? I don't know, I'm not a woman No, I don't think, well I mean, I'm often dressed like a gym teacher You probably don't get compliments like this, but

I get comments What do you get? Cat calls? No Get out of the lane. You're not a car. Passing on the left. Why are you having such a hard time?

It's downhill. You know, the usual. Why can't you be more like your cousin? This last one comes from Dave R. in Oakland, California. Go Raiders! Yeah. Yeah, I guess, hey? Yeah.

You a big Raiders fan? I am now. No doubt. This is at a Costco in Oakland, California. This is a couple walking by and one person saying, Well, I think we should get it and keep it downstairs with your swords. Oh. What do you think it was?

Sword polish? Okay, so she's saying, he said, I don't think we should get it. And she goes, I think we should get it. I think it's a Nordic track. Oh, okay. Like, look, you have swords and I'm getting a Nordic track. Yeah. You know where we can keep it?

Next to the thing that you don't use. Yeah, exactly. I'll put that treadmill. You said you were going to use those swords. And that's why we got them. We need to get you with this Nordic tracker so you can shrink your genitals to fit them into medium underwear. Regular medium boxer briefs. I haven't been to a Costco since the 80s. What?

And it was a very novel idea. Maybe the early 90s. Sure. What do you do with your parents? idea. Maybe the early 90s. Sure. What do you do with your parents? Yeah. That's what I, when I go to visit, I put them on an iceberg.

Ice flow, I guess. See you later. Well, bye. But yeah, no, when I went, because like people buy Giant things. But people will buy,

you can now buy like a TV or now we're having a baby people are like oh you should get baby stuff there but when I went there

when I used to go there it was just bulk it was just like a billion Twizzlers yeah could go for some of those but now it's like

what do you want a house coat for $12 yeah exactly you got it that's what I hear you got it you got it what do you want, a house coat for $12? Yeah, exactly. You got it. That's what I hear. You got it. You got it. What do you want, a mirror?

You got it. How about a barbecue? They got those. But you know what? Now that you're going to become a parent, you probably should get a Costco card. Yeah, we have one. I mean, it's not ours. Now that you're living in a penthouse, we didn't talk about that on the air, but you're moving into a penthouse.

What's going on, we ask. Struggling to come up with something. If you wanted to hate me more, it's also rent controlled. What does that mean? It means that it- Do we have that in the city? Well, I do in this building. So I live on the second floor and I live in 450 square feet, my husband and I. Okay.

That's tiny. And then a two bedroom, two bath opened up in our building. That's 500 square feet. And then a two-bedroom, two-bath opened up in our building. That's 500 square feet. And it's 1,200 square feet. Woof. So I'm about to lose my mind, but the thing is that the rent hasn't gone up in years. I don't know what square footage is.

How big is what we're sitting in right now? Right now is probably 200, 150? Yeah, 1, 150. You were living in here-ish. No, I was living in like here times three. Whoa, that's pretty great. That's what I'm living in now. But now she's moving into 1,200.

I can't even imagine something that big. Well, you'll have to come over. What are you going to play football? Come over. Oh, yeah. We'll have a barbecue. We'll see. So you have two bathrooms for two people now.

Yes. So it's going to be, you're just going to be like, okay, we both have to go to the bathroom, let's race. Yeah. Oh, bathroom races. Well, we both love. That's what couples do. Chris and I love to take baths. We're big into baths.

Really? Yes. Together? No, God no. Well, I don't know. I'm saying I like to take a bath. He likes to take a bath. If we could take a bath together,

we would, but no bathtub is big enough. No. What you need is a swimming pool filled with bubbles. Yes. What you need is a big strong hand to lift you to the higher ground. What is that?

It's from Express Yourself by Madonna. Oh, man. In addition to overherses that are written in, we also accept your phone calls. Express yourself that way. If you want to call us, our phone number is 206-339-8328. Penthouse edition.

Hey, Dave and Graham. This is Adam from Chicago with Overheard. I just got back from the grocery store, and as I was searching the aisles for a non-novelty-sized jar of minced garlic, I crossed an aisle in the aisle with two gentlemen who were either, in retrospect, boyfriends or roommates or both, one in a gray shirt, one in a black shirt. They were each holding a 12-pack of toilet paper.

The one in the black shirt had it in one hand and a mimosa in the other. And black shirt was saying, I like this one because it's softer. But gray shirt said, no, we'll go with this one. And just as I was leaving, just as I passed out of view, I heard black shirt say, but I feel that one's going to fall apart. Yep. Yep. These guys are like scientists?

I guess so. I mean the real thing that I gravitated toward was the fact that he's shopping holding a mimosa. Like you would get at a brunch. How would you be able to tell on site that it's a mimosa? From the champagne flutes? From the champagne flutes.

The three-piece orchestra standing right behind him. Yeah. Playing Beatles covers. When you were brunching, were you mimosa-ing up? Were you having mimosas? No, no, no.

I need a nap if I have a mimosa for brunch. That's so delightful. Right? I don't have time. I have a lunch date. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You've got to go eat brats somewhere. You've got to keep her... I've got things I don't have time. I have a lunch date. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You got to go eat brat somewhere.

She's got to keep her food per day quotient up. I'm not a big fan of, well, I'm not a fan at all. Food per day quotient. Of a brunch where they really push the alcohol in a brunch. They do. Yeah. I don't get it. I want a coffee and I want some food.

But I want my coffee Irish, my food Spanish. Food Irish. But like, you might have to drive. Yeah, that's true. How did you get to this brunch place? You didn't just roll out of bed. But if you're in another city. Totally different.

Yeah, if you're in another city, why would you not be drunk all the time? It's like when you're saying, because we were put up in a place that was kind of like a hotel. And I had cable TV. And it was kind of like a hotel. Well, it was just a big house where all the actors and writers were living. It doesn't sound at all like a hotel. Okay, wait.

Okay. That doesn't sound at all like a hotel. Okay, wait. Okay, so it was more like a vacation rental place where there was a lady who came in every day and gave us fresh sheets and cleaned up. Okay. I had my own bathroom and my own bedroom and my own TV and my own closet. All right. But then we also were able to have access to like a big kitchen, a dining room, and a backyard.

Oh, did you get any barbecuing in? We did. We barbecued. Yeah? Which I will also be doing in my new apartment soon. Oh, I understand. any barbecuing in? We did. We barbecued. Yeah. Which I will also be doing in my new apartment soon. Oh, I understand. It's a penthouse. It's a penthouse.

Are you allowed to barbecue in the penthouse? On it. Because it's the top floor. Top floor. Yeah. So the smoke just goes right up to your own roof. You don't have a ceiling, right? You don't have to worry about it. There's a ceiling.

Okay. So it's also just like, it's just like a funnel. You're just living in a roof. I'm just living in a cylinder. Yeah. No top. Weird. It's's gonna fill up with water come winter well that's what we're actually counting on so we can all take baths together here's your next overheard hey hey hey graham uh this is ken man in new york no last names um so I have a overseen and an overheard. I was just walking past the bus stop,

and there's a couple of people hanging around the bus stop, and there's a tree hanging over the bus stop. And as I'm walking closer, I'm going to walk past, this woman reaches up and grabs something off the tree and eats it. And she does it two more times as I'm getting closer. And everyone around her just starts looking at her and watching her eat pieces of the tree. And as I get closer, I realize that there isn't a berry or anything. She's just basically grabbing handfuls of leaves.

Like a giraffe. And eating them. And then she walks off as I pass. And there's a woman, an older woman, who's been standing next to her this whole time. And this is the overheard. As I go past her, she goes, Yee.

It was a great sound. I think that lady switched bodies with a giraffe like a Freaky Friday. She's just trying to get her nutrition. The only way she knows how. Or she was on bath salts. Yeah, oh, were bath salts, was that like turned out to be an urban myth that they weren't really

a thing? What? Explain why that guy ate that other guy's face then. It turned out that that guy was just high on marijuana. No way. And the munchies, it's true. Yeah, he had the munchies. It's true. It's true.

Yep. It seems bananas. Well, have you seen Reefer Madness? Yeah. You should, you know. One toke is no joke. Have you seen Reefer Madness High? Oh, yeah.

It's the way it was. And then you can sync it up with The Wizard of Oz. Two movies. You should with The Wizard of Oz. Two movies. You should actually watch Wizard of Oz. It's going to play at the Student Union Building. Cool. In the fob. What's the fob?

I don't know. They always name the Student Union Building's weird things. Like, we'll be in the knoll. Oh. That's what they call the Student Union Building. Isn't it the sub? It's always the sub because it's the Student Union Building. Okay, well, to each his own.

Is Fob French? No, it was at Ryerson. We had a dumb name for it. I forget what it is now. I went to Ryerson University. Must be nice. Used to be a polytechnic. Just recently got the accreditation to be a real university.

They started handing these out to a lot of local community colleges around here as well. It used to be Donut College. Now it's Donut University. Maybe she was just that lady that he oversaw and overheard. You know how people are starting to hide money in the city now? Yeah, oh boy. What? Have you not heard about these things?

No. People are hiding $100 bills all over the city. I want. And they're also hiding Ganja Yeah And then there was a beer one as well And then there's beer ones And then they're putting out tweets

With like clues And people have to go and find it Like I have no legs But I know time And I am high Where What am I

A rug Yeah My rug My rug in my house My rug in my Is it And then you look I need it

No Oh I could solve riddles all night Give me more My rug. My rug in my house. My rug in my... Is it? And then you look underneath. It's an airplane. No. Oh, I could solve riddles all night. Give me more. You didn't solve it. You're just saying things after us. No, but that team was right. It was.

It was a rug. Give me more. I am flat as a sheet and round as a board. It's a rug. Okay, okay, okay. It's a rug, yeah. Woven but not tight. Where do you spend

your bed at night? It's a rug. It's a rug. I have no eyes, but I can't sleep. Who am I? A rug. I have no eyes, but I can't sleep. Okay, you guys, here's your final overheard of all time.

All right. What? Hello, Dave Graham and beautiful guests. Hi, from Georgia. No one's ever told you that, right? I'm calling you with an overheard. Today I was at a diner, and I saw a waiter walking over with some French toast. And as they approached the table, they said,

all right, so who had the freedom toast? Thanks very much. Oh, like 2001. Yeah. Did that, that never really stuck. The French freedom prize. Yeah. Because the French didn't want to invade Iraq?

Yeah. I guess that was it. And so they were considered yella? Because the French said very clearly, we are not participating in whatever war you're about to start. Say it like a French person. Yeah. Okay.

Bon, donc, bon, donc, donc, je suis quoi, donc, bon, donc. Right? That's how they would say it. Pretty good. Ben. Et maintenant, donc, je suis. Very good. Hey, man, we cannot do busy doing,

you know, high art, low, low cost. They're also in the trades. Yeah. They're also in the trades. Yeah.

High art, low cost. Growing up, I spoke French. I went to French school. But in the trades. Yeah. High art, low cost. Growing up, I spoke French. I went to French school. Mm-hmm. But in the media, France was known for

its love of Jerry Lewis. Yes. Like that, everyone got a lot of mileage out of him being a national treasure there. Also, there was somebody... You know what?

He was delightful. Well, they love clowns, right? Mm-hmm. Think of like the French and the clown. The Le Cook School of of clowning is. The Lecoq? Lecoq.

It's the very famous clown school. Lecoq? Lecoq. C-O-Q-U-E? Lecoq. C-O-Q? C-O-Q. Oh, is it C-O-Q?

Lecoq. The rooster. Like the rooster. Like Lecoq sportif. Sure. I don't understand sports. Well, it's just a. It's a sportif. It's not a sport. Oh, okay Sportif. Sure. I don't understand sports. Well, it's just a... It's a sportif.

It's not a sportif. Oh, okay, okay. Yeah. A rug. Yeah, it's a rug. It's a French rug. They love buffoon and that kind of thing. Marcel Marceau.

Because they're so serious as a people that they think it's like, Oh, the jester is here. They must have liked, what's his name from Life is Beautiful? Roberto Bonini? Yeah, they must have. You know who really loved him? The Italians. His own people.

Yeah. But the French thing too, may I say, who is it that invented just for laughs gags? Buona, buona, buona, buona. That stuff. I was in Thailand. That stuff bubuona That stuff. I was in Thailand. That stuff is language free. Exactly. I was in Thailand and they show that on our flight. And everybody on the flight laughing. Oh, God and Mr. Bean.

There's another show. I think it's produced by the Just for Laughs gags people called LOL. Yeah. And it is little sketches that have no words in them. Language free sketches. And it's... Keep you in stitches. Have no words in them Language free skitches And it's Keep you in stitches

That's not bad Hey Wait a minute You should You should write that down Well it's too languagey It's out there Yeah yeah yeah

It won't fly No no no Now That brings us to the end Of this here show No No But

Kaylee you got things to plug I sure do Go I do a weekly show here in Vancouver called The Sunday Service. Who were nominated for a Canadian Comedy Award for Best Improv Troop. Starring the likes of Taz Van Rassel, Ryan Beal, Aaron Reid, Emmett Hall, and myself, Caitlin Howden. Those are the likes. Let's not forget all the past.

And everyone else in Vancouver. And we do a weekly show at the Fox Cabaret. It's at the Fox Cabaret now. I haven't been yet. It's at the Fox, which is beautiful. Is it sold out every time? It's not sold out anymore. We've opened up the balcony, but we've been very lucky.

Close that up. Close that up. The thing is, Vancouver is amazing. The people of the city have been coming to the show for eight years. I can only take credit for it being good in the last three, but they were going strong for five years before I joined. No, no, it wasn't even happening. It wasn't, was it?

It was, but it wasn't. They're liars. But when you were there, it's like, you know, the Bruce Springsteen song. You can't start a fire without a spark. Thank you. It's like eating string cheese forever and then finally having some Gouda. I don't know. Never had string cheese forever.

And then you have some Gouda. I don't know. Never had. Like, drink Gouda forever. And then you have some Gouda. Courtney Cox. This one's for hire. Courtney Cox. Even with his dancing in the dark. So that's every Sunday night at 9 o'clock at the Fox. And you can see us online at

thesundayservice.ca. Are you up to that site lately? Yes, actually. Oh. Excuse me. Have you not been to our website lately? No. We didn't know.

We didn't know there was a relaunch. Well, why don't you go see what happens when Caitlin Howden joins the group? Oh, okay. Because we've got one heck of a website now. She's got mad HTML skills. Can I make it my homepage? Yes. Can I search from this homepage?

Absolutely. Ah, use Sunday Service, your new search engine. And there's a scroll of three photos. One of them is just Emmett looking miserable. So it's, you know, pretty apt. So I'm doing that show. And then, yeah, look for the Second City Sketch Project in the fall on Global. Cool.

Fun and funky. Can't call it SCTV because we'd get sued. Also, it's hard to live up to a legacy It's almost impossible What are you talking about? SCTV What is that? Yeah

Really? You guys don't know the TV show SCTV? TV show? No Old TV show? SNL? No SCTV?

Confused Andrew Martin Eugene Levy Oh Skydome Skydome TV Sorry Sorry Dave do we have any plugs? Here's what we have to plug Go Confused. Andrew Martin? Eugene Levy? Oh, Skydome. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Skydome TV. Oh, Skydome TV. Yeah, sorry, sorry, sorry. Yeah, yeah, sorry, sorry.

Dave, do we have any plugs? Here's what we have to plug. Go. We are nominated. Are also nominated in the Canadian Comedy Awards. But we're nominated in a category in which you can vote. You the public. You the public are allowed to vote.

John Q. Public. It used to be the podcasting category. And we won it both times. We bashed everyone's brains in. There's a wall of brains behind this podcast. Yeah, but you're behind our awards. This year, I think they've realized that, oh, Dave and Graham keep bashing everyone's brains in. Let's make it a little more competitive.

Let's make this difficult. So we are up against radio shows as well. It's like the category is best audio entertainment. Yeah. Which is pretty broad when you think about entertainment.

Most of it. Audio. Audio. Just close your eyes. Except for French clowns. Don't you dare close your eyes. Now, here's what's up.

So go to Canadian Comedy. No, wait. CanadianComedy.ca Is it CanadianComedy.ca? Is it CanadianComedy.ca? That doesn't sound right. Is it CCA? No, it's not CCA.

No, it's got to be. It's CanadianComedyAwards.ca It can't be CanadianComedy.ca It's CanadianComedy.ca Is it really? Is it? We're all looking at our phone right now. CanadianComedy.ca. It's CanadianComedy.ca. Is it really? Is it? We're all looking at our phone right now. CanadianComedy.ca.

It is. CanadianComedy.ca. Good call. Thanks. If you have voted for us in the past, you already have an account. That sounds easy. So just use that account. I know in the past I've said, hey, they won't email you after you join.

And they email you non-stop look i i look dumb now but you know what it's not the first it's that pathos that makes you want to vote for us and you know what i said last year that i would slime our award and i never did that was i never did it but you ever get a guy who makes slime? I made my own slime. Corn starch? Corn starch and dish soap. Yeah. Yeah. And water.

And food coloring. And food coloring. Yeah. Was water involved? Boom. Nope. No water. That's expensive.

Gotta water that down. Yeah. But you know what? Not only do I guarantee that I'll slime this year's award, I'll slime my own self. I will slime my own self. Guys. Guys. I will. If we win, I'll slime my own self. I will slime my own self. Guys. Guys. I will.

If we win, I'll slime my own self. Why don't you just go to the awards? Well, yeah, we might, but mostly I'm going to slime myself. I'm having a baby. I can't go. Oh, I'm also having a baby. What? Yeah.

That's how... Are you having a baby? Like you're having... Yeah, like I'm involved. I'm Abby's birthing coach. Are you really? Yeah. I'm a doula

Graham's a part time doula That's so nice Part time doula So yeah Please vote for us for that We're up against We're up against Some mighty forces

Some heavy hitters Some of them have radio shows Yeah Now in addition to that We're up against The CBC comedy report We're up against George Stromboloff

With laughs We're up against Amanda Brooke Perrin We are up against the CBC Comedy Report. We're up against George Stromboloff with laughs. We're up against Amanda Brook-Peron. We are up against Amanda Brook-Peron. Isn't she lovely? We're doing it. We enjoy her very much. Now, here's the other thing. I have a feeling this is already sold out. Oh yeah? I like it.

But in October there is a podcasting festival? We don't have any information. We are pre is a podcasting festival. We don't have any information. We are pre-taping this. We don't have... Many months in advance of when this is happening. But the tickets are on sale now.

Yes. And they're sold out. But if they're not, there are tickets for sale for the Vancouver Podcasting Festival in October. We're doing a live show. Yes. Featuring a very special guest who you love. Yeah. You adore.

Do we mention it? You adore. Might as well. It's already sold out. I already gave a cheeky hint. Is it John Doerr? Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Well, it's not as fun when it's... Sort of is, yeah. Yeah. He said adore multiple times. I'm the one who... I only said it once. And you're just, I don't know. Now that you're in a penthouse, it's like,

you're like Oswald Cobblepot. It's like, the fact that you're in a penthouse, is that why it's two bathrooms? Because you have to pee all the time? I see what you did there. This is officially the penthouse episode. Okay. So yeah Tickets are either

On sale for that Or they're not But you can google it Oh boy Why are we bothering I mean Go if you want And don't if you can't

It's really as simple as that And Tell all your friends Yeah Don't stress about it But you know If you can go That'd be great.

that'd be fantastic. Check out MaximumFun.org for the blog recap they put together every week. And if you like the show, tell your friends and come on back next week for another episode

of Stop Podcasting Yourself. Lady and the Tramp. Vroom, vroom. That is not a song. Leader of the pack. Leader of the pack. I met him at the candy store. I met him at the pasta bowl. Leader of the pack.

Vroom, vroom. That's how it works too. Yeah, the dog gets. Later off the pack. Lady. That's how it works too. Yeah. The dog gets in the driver's seat. Yeah. Sandwich and a map. It could be anything. It's so much fun.

Sandwich and a map. That was my favorite part. Yeah. I mean, you got your whole day ahead of you. All right. Ready? Maximumfun.org. Comedy and culture. Artist owned.

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