Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 330 - Sophie Buddle

Episode Date: July 14, 2014

Comedian Sophie Buddle joins us to talk laryngitis, the World Cup, and art.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 330 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who wishes you a very happy Bastille Day, Mr. Dave Shumka. And when you close your eyes, it always seems like... That's my favorite Bastille song. It's from Les Mis.

Yeah. 24, four, six, oh, one. Yeah. It's by Gavroche featuring Boob Marius and one of the Thinardiers. Gavroche would be a good rapper name. Oh, yeah. Gavroche. I think that would be a good French rapper name. Yeah.

They laugh at me, these fellas. A worm can roll a stone. I mean, he's the cockneyest of the French. Yeah, they all speak with English accents in Les Mis, right? Yeah, they vary, but I mean, Russell Crowe was Australian. That's right. And so was Hugh Jackman. That's right.

A lot of the best actors are. And the best Frenchmen. Yep. Some of our best Frenchmen are Australian. Our guest today is a first-time guest. Politely, sitting quietly. Just giggling away, having the time of her life. Comedian Miss Sophie Buttle is our guest. Hello. Why being so quiet? I'm shy. I don't know. Sorry I'm not a chatty Cathy. Yeah, you're right.

That's our bad. This is kind of, yeah, it's a shy cast. We bring on somebody, we like slowly bring them out of their shell. I would love it. Through a five-part podcast series. Yeah. I'd listen to a shy Shycast Where it's just like A bunch of shy people talking Oh no

Just like Shia LaBeouf Sure Shylock from Merchant of Venice A third? Boy There's gotta be a third

Shia Shia Shia Shia Shia Shia Shia Shia

Shia Yeah Erwin R. Shaster. Erwin R. Shaster there from the WWF. Good. We did it. Should we get to know us? I think we will.

Get to know us. Sophie. Yes. Yes. How are you? Hello. Hello. Hi, how are you?

Also well. Let's get to know you. What's going on with you? Yeah, tell us a bit about Sophie Buttle. I look a lot like Graham. You can't see me. Yep. You're like a beardier Graham.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm like a more scraggly Graham. Yeah, a more hardscrabble. I'm very attractive. I do well. Uh-huh. You do well. Uh-huh. Yeah. And what's going on? Tell us what's going on recently.

I just went to Ottawa to visit my family. And big family, little family? That side is small. It's my mom's side. On my dad's side, my dad is the oldest of nine. Whoa. And they all have kids. So, like, how many cousins?

Do you know offhand how many cousins you have? Like 50, probably. Like, I've never counted. Yeah. And, like have kids. So like how many cousins do you know offhand? How many cousins do you have? Like 50 probably. Like I've never counted. Yeah. And like why bother, right? I don't really love any of them. Whoa. Oh.

They all listen to this podcast. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is big in your family demographic. The buttholes. Yeah. Do you love any of your cousins? I think I love my cousin. I'm going to my cousin's wedding this weekend.

No, no, no. Let me be clear. I like my cousins on my mom's side. Except one. I don't like Chloe. Oh, yeah? Chloe's our biggest fan. What's up with Chloe?

She's just like, she's, I think, three. She's like a bitch. Don't care for her. One time, I just heard about this This was not me But she was Her and her brother Were Skyping with my aunt and uncle

Was she Is she really three? She might be four Okay She's like that age And While they were Skyping Food was delivered

And my aunt Went to go answer the door And get food And Chloe was like Oh what is that? And she was like Oh it was just for dinner We got delivery for dinner And then Chloe was like, oh, what is that? And she was like, oh, it was just for dinner. We got delivery for dinner. And then Chloe was like,

shouldn't you be cooking for your family? How do you even know to say that at that age? Wow. I mean, I think some people just have it. Yeah, that's true. They just have the goods. Chloe should have her own talk radio show.

Oh, man. Shouldn't you get off the phone and cook for your family? I am my mom's kid. I am my mom's kid. Now, I understand that you have laryngitis. I have. When you got here, you said you have a touch of laryngitis, or what did the doctor say? I mean, I dabble in it. And I've had it for a week. I went to the doctor. I touch of laryngitis or what did the doctor say I mean I dabble in it and I've had it for a week

I went to the doctor I do have laryngitis for sure I thought it was a made up TV sitcom yeah like I can't sing in the talent show no it's very real it's very real

yeah I couldn't talk for the past four days it affects one in three people I was really rolling the dice for coming on this podcast without telling you that I have l and did it.

Fair enough. Because it's a good, like, in terms of excuses, it is, like, the fakest. Exactly. That's why I didn't want to be like, I know this is, like, a huge deal for me and stuff, but I'm a bit scrappy. Is it a huge deal for you? This is the only thing I have going on right now. No, I heard you had spring rolls today. Yeah, no, this is what I was going to plug when I came on.

Go back and listen to this. Now, what is laryngitis? You just have big, big swelled up larynges? Yeah. Yeah, it went. I guess I did gesture that you had like swelled up boobs. Yeah, whatever. Is that a side effect?

I'm not sure exactly what it is, but you can't, you're not supposed to talk at all. Yeah, but like a 90 minute podcast is fine. Yeah, my doctor said that was fine. Yeah, did you ask him specifically podcasts, overheards? Yeah, radio appearances. I said, can I still opera sing? And he said of course you can

and you said well I couldn't before actually my doctor is a woman oh my god she can't operate on

that's what that riddle's about right like I can't possibly operate on that because I'm you know

women are very good doctors what a great time that was That that riddle just like Was such a head scratcher for people Well, if the dad's in the room And then the guy is also a doctor

And he's obviously This riddle is unsolvable Yeah, who Well, maybe he just doesn't want to operate And actually equals doctor And doctor cannot equal woman Maybe that guy just isn't want to operate on X. X equals doctor. Doctor cannot equal woman. Maybe that guy just isn't a very good doctor. Yeah.

Is that the solution to the riddle? Well, maybe two dads. Oh, it's two dads. Yeah, yeah, probably. I would love that. The only scenario. If the person solving the riddle was progressive enough to recognize gay marriage and adoption, but not female doctors. See, that's genuine coughing.

It's a real cough. From a laryngitis expert. We commend you on soldiering forward. Can they do anything? No. There's two kinds of laryngitis. There's one where you can? No, it's like there's two kinds of laryngitis. There's one where you can get antibiotics and it's cleared up in two days. Juvenile laryngitis

and then type 2 laryngitis? Yeah, exactly. You're a doctor? Oh, wow. And then there's one where it's you can't get antibiotics and just have to not talk for a week. But how did you do on the not talking? I did very poorly. Yeah. Because you like to chat, right? I know, I have a lot to say. Yeah, you lean on the not talking? I did very poorly. Yeah. Yeah.

Because you like to chat, right? Yeah, I know. I have a lot to say. Yeah, you lean over the fence. Hey, bitch. Well, I told somebody, I had written on my hand, I'm like, oh, laryngitis, can't talk.

And then I went to a coffee shop and someone was like, I bet your boyfriend's happy. Well, do you live in the 50s? Yeah, apparently. You should walk around with a little chalkboard around you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was just typing stuff on my phone. Or like one of those sign language business cards.

Business cards. Donation cards. I'm in the deaf business. Hi, I'm a deaf. For all your deaf needs. Yeah, I'm a certified deaf. If you're a deaf listener, I apologize. Yeah, they're our second biggest audience after the Buttles.

After the Buttles. If I got my whole family to listen to this podcast, it would hit the top ten. Let me tell you. Does the family ever get together in like a huge jamboree? No, they don't like each other either, like within the family. Oh, sure. I'm not the the problem we're all the problem so you go to ottawa you have to see them all separately like you have to go on like 20 different oh no that side of the family is fine those are the rosenblooms oh the rosenblooms of the ottawa rosenblooms um yeah it's the bottles that theydles that They're the trouble

There's some drama Okay, alright So like, is it real The buddles don't like the buddles Or the buddles don't like the Rosenfelds? Is it the Rosenfelds? No, the buddles don't like the buddles The buddles hardly know the Rosenblooms

Yeah, yeah Oh, I see, okay So you have so many cousins Are there cousins who haven't met? Probably Because I have an uncle on my dad's side that has like 10 kids or something i haven't met any of them right but he's kind of doesn't talk to the family as much anymore he's got laryngitis yeah so he can't talk

um is that a thing that they actually because i always always told that they take a blood test when you get married so that you don't marry somebody in the family but that's not what it's for is it i didn't take a blood test oh what if abby your cousins i don't know i thought it was like the because they do that thing where they're like if anyone knows a reason why these two can't legally be wed i assume that that is uh they're kin well they're first cousins so technically they can get married first cousins wait what's first cousins first cousins are cousins oh they're allowed to get married yes in canada that is legal wow it's because we don't have as many people up here. Yeah, we'll take what we can get. Flynn Pickens, yeah.

Yeah. Also, our cousins are more attractive than the states. That's true. Yeah, I mean, I hate most of the butthole cousins, but. But. I would hate some of that. Yeah. I didn't realize that.

Wasn't. I might be wrong about that. One time in university, I was in the wrong building. And I... You married your cousin. I was early for a class and I married my cousin. No, I was waiting outside another classroom and I heard someone else's professor say, but you know what?

I didn't see this person's credentials. They could have just been... Just could have been like a joke class. Could have been a lady doctor for all we know. Joke class. Here's how to write a great joke. Yeah, I don't know what the rules are. It's never come up.

I only have like four or five cousins. That's it. The total. What happened to the rest of them? And you love them all. I love them all. And I married them all at different points in time. But yeah,

it's, but I could see like if you had like 50, like they're just out there and you've never met them before. Well, also they all live in Edmonton or most of them live in Edmonton.

I don't go to Edmonton ever. How come? They got one of the best malls in the world. I have been to the mall. And? Yeah. Pretty big, I guess.

What's the biggest mall you've ever been in? That one. Oh, okay. So even though that's the biggest mall you've been in, you're kind of underwhelmed? Still underwhelmed, yeah. Yeah. I guess I was too. I mean, it is pretty big. I've never been.

The biggest mall I've ever been to is a strip mall. The tanning salon. The 7 some hairdresser that your mom goes yeah and uh some weird store that has a lot of turnover yeah exactly one week it's all satin jackets the next week there was in my in growing up there was one place there's uh that had a video it was a video store. Yeah. And it kept going out of business, but it kept opening up as a different video store. And so, like, I've never seen that happen in any other kind of store where it was like, yeah, well, you're going to go out of business.

No, no, it's the sign that's the problem. Yeah. It's not the... It was Crazy Mike's video, and then it was Wilderness video, and then it was like Rainbow video, or video only. And then it was Mike's crazy video. Yeah, it was Crazy Wilderness video. Wilderness video was always the weirdest one, though. Yeah, because that's just, you would think it's just Wilderness videos.

Oh, it was. What do you have in the way of hippo videos? We have a whole section. It's a whole genre. So I'm, okay. I hate to loop back, but I'm really curious about living with Laren Chyfer. Every day is a struggle. But like, have you been, how long did the showing people a note last?

Three days. Three, four days. Like where you were totally silent? Yeah. For the past four days, I have not said anything. Really? Yeah. So I'm just excited to be talking at all.

To get out. Yeah. Yeah. Did you ever, like, when you were a teenager, did you have a boyfriend? I am still a teenager. I'm sure. Fine. 19, fine. 19 years old.

Did you ever do a, like, the thing where, I remember when I had girlfriends growing up, I would talk on the phone for like an hour. Oh, yeah. Yeah, an hour minimum. About nothing. Yeah. I mean, we're doing that right now. But we're doing it into microphones. We're not just talking on the phone.

Like weirdos. Yeah. This is meant for many people, not just one person. But like, do people even do that anymore? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I did that when I was like 13. Yeah. That's when it was. And then I got a cell phone and we just texted.

Yeah. So now it's just text, right? Pretty much. Yeah. Like nobody's talking on just text, right? Pretty much, yeah. Like nobody's talking on the phone, but you're texting multiple people. I get pissed if my boyfriend calls me on the phone because I'll be doing something. Yeah. I'm trying to text you. Nobody has time for this.

You text with your mom. I text my mom. It's very one-sided. She doesn't text back? Not a good relationship text-wise. Did she just write back K? Yeah, K with a period. K, fine.

That's one of the best. I just wanted to tell you I love you, Mom. K. Fine. Fine. Cool. Cool. Cool.

BRB. New phone, who dis? New phone, who dis Is the greatest thing to write When anybody writes you Who dis is I found this phone in the toilet That's what I usually text I'm a stranger

I found this phone in the toilet So outside of the laryngitis world. Can't text now. In a bag of rice for a week. And outside of the cousin world. Which is nowhere. Yeah, exactly. What else do we need to know about Sophie Buttle? Tell us. Educate us. Yeah, exactly. What else do we need to know about Sophie

Buttle? Tell us. Educate us. Yeah. You're 19, so that means you're just out of high school. I didn't believe you. Oh, yeah, that's real. Yeah, you've only, you're just out of high school then. Well, I'm turning 20 this year. Oh, good for you. Congratulations.

Thanks. Wait a minute. Have we had a teenage guest on before? We had a guest a few weeks ago or a month ago or two that was like. That was just. Oh, maybe Nima? Yeah, Nima. But like he was over 20. You're our youngest guest.

Had I known we were having a teenager on the show, I never would have invited you. You didn't invite me. That's true. Great. We haven't. All right. Well, what's new with emoji yeah what's new at the mall um let's see what's oh boy yeah see this is your chance to get all the high school inside yeah cool well uh all the millennial i'm not the one with a Justin Bieber phone case, though, by the way. Dave.

No. So, wait, did you graduate in Ottawa? Yeah. Did they have grade 13 there? No, they used to. Not anymore. Yeah, fair enough. That was ridiculous.

Because I would be in that now. Oh, boy. I hate this Canadian stuff. Did you have a fake ID? No. I just like, because I started doing comedy before I was of age to go into comedy clubs. So I'd just go and always seem very rushed. Like, oh, I'm on the show.

I don't have time to show you my ID. Did you come in with a bunch of packages? Yeah. I was very, very busy. Yeah. Christmas shopping. And that worked? Sometimes.

Just acting rushed? Yeah, I would just lie a lot. Yeah, would you ever not get on a show because you were too young? Yeah, well, for the first year or so. How long have you been doing comedy? I started when I was 14, 15. What? We're talking to the Shirley Temple of comedy.

Of Canada's emoji Shirley Temple. Yeah. No, but I just lied for like the first year, but to everybody, like to comedians too, which was really shitty. Some people got pretty mad at me. What? What, you lied just about your age? Yeah. Okay.

Yeah, so that I could do all the shows. Sure. And like hang out with them or whatever. Yeah, sure. Cool. And then everyone found out and then I wasn't able to do some shows. What was it like when everyone found out? Was it like, did you hear this bitch is 14?

She sold me ecstasy. She's 14 and an undercover cop. Your four-year-old cousin is like, what's with the, et cetera. I don't know. I was trying to call back to something I didn't have.

Yeah, what was the reaction? Okay, well, the people that I was, like, kind of close to were very mad. Oh, you lied to everyone. You didn't confide in a single person. No, none of that. I just lied to everyone. So the people, there was, like, one or two people that I was pretty close with that got mad. Not, like, boyfriends.

There was nothing illegal happening, to be clear. But there was one guy who thought that I was lying about being that young. And I was just doing like a... I was in university or something. And I was doing like an essay and doing an experiment on all these comedians. Right. Like, oh, what would happen? Well, clearly your material is uh uh whatever

academic yeah university grade material yeah um most people just thought it was cool though so it was weird that you and chelsea handler were lying about being the same age oh man i hope ch hope Chelsea hears that. So when you were 14, like, how could you, you must have looked like you were 14. How did you get into clubs? I had pretty big boobs, which surprisingly will get you pretty far on the age. That's not surprising. Yeah, that's true.

That's how I started out. Well, no, it's, um, girls do blossom faster than boys. Like, do you remember? Like, I still look, like, looking back, of course, I was 15, but. But, like, I remember being in high school and the, you know, the boys looked 14 and the girls, you know, some of them looked 20. Yeah. It was like. And there are some 20-year-olds that if they were 16, you'd be like, ah, yeah. Yeah, I guess. Yeah, I guess.

Yeah, I guess. Like, I mean, I don't know. Like, yeah, if you told me somebody was, ah, this person's 20 and this person is 16, I don't know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'd be like, I don't know. Who cares? Yeah. Yeah, why are you showing me these pictures?

Graham, this one's 20. How old would you say this one is I hate this game so much no no no I'll blur everything and I'll send you the pictures and you get to guess yeah I guess this person's 21

no they're 500 years old it's Noah it's a picture of a Neanderthal woman. And that happened in Ottawa. Yeah. And then you came out here. You were on the straight and narrow. You told everybody the truth.

Yeah. I moved here on my 18th birthday, so I was just in the clear. That was it. You were fine. Except that the legal age out here is 19. But whatever. But I had been through... You had already been through... I was cool with it. no it was like you were fine except that the legal age out here is 19 but whatever but I had been through like

you'd already been so yeah you brought a picture of you back when you were 14 look how big those boobs were let me in look at these pictures of my betrayed

friends faces what kind of material did you have when you were 14 exclusively sex material really yeah and it I had I had it What kind of material did you have when you were 14? Exclusively sex material. Really? Yeah.

I had it. What did you write it based on? Did you just watch comedy specials and be like... Penises are weird, huh? I love that. Are you mad? Yeah. They're always, well, there's a shaft part and then there's a shooting out little thing. You know what penises look like?

Me too. I as well. That's really, like, that's... It's super weird. Yeah, it's a super weird way to start out. Yeah. Why did you want to do comedy when you were 14? I was like a child actor.

Really? So I did a lot of acting when I was little. And I liked writing more than I liked acting. Okay. And it was kind of I found a combo.

What did you act in? Like ads? No, I was in horror movies. What? There was one that won like an Australian independent horror film. I died.

I was eaten by a dingo. What was it called? Baka. B-A-K-A. I am going to search out this film. Yeah, it's around. And like you were mostly in horror movies as a child? I was only in horror movies.

How many? I was in three. I was in Baka too. Yeah. It was a prequel. I was in Baka too. Yeah. It was a prequel.

Listener, every time Sophie coughs off microphone, drink. Oh, can you hear it? Well, I mean. I thought I was being pretty suave. Move your head to the side. So Baka, what else? Doll-Eyed Killers, which was was why were there so many australian movies horror movies no no that was i did that that was in new york actually uh where it was based on a true story about how two young girls killed their friend because they wanted to like see what it was

like that was the one who died and then there was one other one that was just like an ottawa independent film. Also horror? And so you get killed in all three of them? Yeah. Wow. I was typecast. Yeah. We're looking for more of what you did in Bucca.

Yeah. We're looking for someone to get killed. I have just the star. Yeah. She's super annoying. You'll want to kill her right away. Yeah. Wow.

Weird. And your parents were like, was it weird to be in a horror movie? Or was it just like. It was just exciting. I liked acting, so it was whatever I could get. I always wondered about that, like kids in horror movies, if it was very traumatized. I was like 10 or 11. Oh, yeah.

Oh, you were. Sure, yeah. I had been murdered a hundred times. I was like 10 or 11. Oh, yeah. I was very mature. I had big boobs. I was fine. But like, it was not traumatizing. Like, I've always heard Linda Blair talk about like when she was in Exorcist,

that that was like super traumatizing. Well, that was a really scary movie. The ones I was in, they weren't. Doll-Eyed Killer? That's one of the scariest movies around. Did you say? But I know in The Shining, the kid was sort of like sheltered.

They kept him away from the actual scary thing. Yeah. They never made him see the scary decomposing old lady. Yeah. Or the, was it gross twins the scary decomposing old lady. Yeah. Or the, was it, was it gross twins? No, the twins were just normal. They weren't gross, no. No.

I think that was the only thing they were ever in, though. I mean, all twins are kind of gross. What? The twins from, um. The Shining? The Shining. Oh, they didn't do other, other scary twin movies? I don't think so.

I think that's the only thing they were ever in. Well, they became the Olsen twins. Yeah. Yeah. They were in Full House. They played Michelle. Which then became the twins on Zack and Cody.

Yeah. They were in Sister, Sister. They were in the Olsen twins take New York. Yeah. These are movies from your childhood. These are movies

we made fun of. Are they not from your childhood? When was New York Minute? New York Minute would have been our late teens. Is that at Ashley Olsen?

Yeah, that was sort of With Eugene Levy. Oh, nice. His directorial debut. Please tell me that's true. I don't believe it is.

Do you want me to Siri it? Yeah. Eugene Levy's directorial debut. That's what I'm going to Siri it? Yeah. Eugene Levy's directorial debut. That's what I'm going to Siri. Yeah, Graham. Google New York Minute Director

Drink. Hi. Searching Google for New York Minute Director Drink. New York Minute Director Drink. Oh, there's a New York Minute Energy Drink. Finally.

Yeah, that's how Mary-Kate and Ashley have so much money. They got into the energy drink market early. Now, you're from

the energy drink generation. Is this new? I don't know. What are the top ten energy drinks? We also love

list form. Oh, yeah. Yep. Yep. Um. No. No. No.

Nobody. Nobody. Denny Gordon was the director. Denny Gordon. Ah. Director of Doll-Eyed Killer.

And Baka too. And what was Baka? That was the Australian one? Yeah. Baka was the Australian one.

Was that in Australia? No. No. No. It was. We filmed it in Ottawa but it won an Australian independent movie award. Who was Australian in it? I don't know who was Australian.

I guess they submitted it to an Australian festival. It has nothing to do with Australia at all. Oh, okay. Okay. What is Baka? It was the guy that killed me. Oh, okay. Yeah.

His name was Baka? Yeah, I think so. How you doing, Baka? I was the guy that killed me. Oh, okay. Yeah. His name was Baka? Yeah, I think so. How you doing, I'm Baka. Reckon I'll be killing you. Pretty good, right? No worries. Yeah. He's like, you showed him a knife.

Then he just, yeah, this is a knife, and then he stabbed you with it. Yeah. He's like, well, I know you weren't born yet when Crocodile Dundee came out. Yeah, that's true. Have you ever seen Crocodile Dundee? No. Do you know what Crocodile Dundee is? Yes.

All right. Reference-wise, though. No. No, like you've never seen it. I've never seen it, but I know what it is. Okay. What is it? What do you think it is?

It's a movie with Steve Irwin. Am I wrong? Wrong. Wrong? I'm glad I asked. That a movie with Steve Irwin. Am I wrong? Wrong. Wrong? I'm glad I asked. That would have been great, though. What am I thinking of? Crocodile Hunter.

Oh, yeah. I don't know what Crocodile Dundee is. Was he the Crocodile Hunter? Yeah. I don't even remember having a nickname. I just think of him as Steve Irwin. Keki Pants Joe. Steve Irwin the Crocodile.

Well, he didn't really hunt them yeah exactly yeah but i'm pretty sure he was called the he was kind of a crocodile lover dundee yeah yeah crocodile dundee this is this is your homework assignment yeah watch not only high school now i don't have to anymore no this is like university level yeah yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, if you don't do it, we don't care, but you're only screwing yourself up. Oh, university's so easy. You should have done it. It's true. Crocodile Dundee.

There's three of them? Oh, the third one was very late. Yeah. The first two came out within a couple years of each other. Well, first was in Australia. Yeah. Second was in New York. No, the first one was in New York.

The second one was in Australia. Yeah. Second was in New York. No, the first one was in New York. The second one was in Australia. Oh, okay. Part of the first one happens in Australia, but then he goes to New York. Right. And he's a fish out of water

and learns what a bidet is. That's right. There was a bidet scene in every movie before you were born. Yeah. In the 80s, it was hilarious

that water would come out of a toilet. I mean, it holds up. I still think it's funny. Yeah. I guess it is kind of classic. But it was weird that so many people ran into them. How many bidets have you seen in your life?

One. One, exactly one. I've seen four or five. Really? I think I've seen one, maybe two. What, did you freak out when you saw it? Were you like, blah? No, I've seen movies from the 80s.

I knew what it was. You knew what to do. Yeah, sure. That scene in Weird Science where the lady is on the bidet. Yeah, my friend growing up, his parents had a bidet in their bathroom. Really?

They weren't even... They weren't even French? Well, yeah, no, they were from England. But I don't think England people do that. Nope. They're old school or new school. What is bidet? Is bidet older than toilet?

No. Okay. Dummy. I don't know. Nothing's older than toilet. I mean, flush toilet. Well, yeah. No, nothing's.

I mean, how could it be? I mean, just from a gravity perspective. No, you're right. But days are, they're kind of like many fountains in your house. Yeah. Yeah. You have to be really classy to have one. And you have to be really befuddled to figure out, you know, like you're new to

the rich. There are a lot like fountains because you put quarters in them. You throw pennies in them over your shoulder. And make a wish. And then the plumber comes in and says, hey, why are you throwing coins down your face? What's the matter? And you're like, I don't know. I wish that I wouldn't be broken anymore. Yeah, and then

they dump this whole thing of coins in there. Well, I had a combination bidet CoinStar. So you would use it and then you'd check your coins in and it would give you a receipt and you would cash it in at customer service. That's pretty good.

Yeah, so you have to watch three Crocodile Dundee films. No, you only need to watch the first. And even then you don't. You just need to know he's a fish out of water. It's probably even

on Canadian Netflix so I can watch it. Oh guaranteed. Yeah. Guaranteed it's on every possible Netflix. Yeah.

Was the third one in like Hollywood? Yeah. Have you seen it? Yeah. It's a good it's a cool poster because he's

Crocodile Dundee. He hosted the Osc poster Because he's Crocodile Dundee Yeah He hosted the Oscars One year As Crocodile Dundee I might be wrong about that Maybe he didn't host them Who Paul Hogan

Yeah Oh that would be awesome I'm I'm probably wrong about that And your host Paul Hogan But in the In the poster

He's pushing back These like fronds These palm fronds or whatever. Some kind of tall grass and looking through it. Except that they're buildings. Yeah. Except it's the New York sky. Yeah.

And he's like, that's a knife. Yeah. That's the big, you know, that quote. That's not a knife. This is a knife. See, you don't know it. You have to watch it. All right.

I can't wait to hear your take on Crocodile Dundee. What is happening? We're explaining Crocodile Dundee to someone. I love it. This will give us... This is practice for when we meet an alien. Yeah. What do you mean you don't understand Crocodile Dundee?

Well, he's this lovable character. Wait, you haven't seen any of them? We have seen the third one and did not care for it. Space Netflix does not have this very good selection. Space Netflix. It's very similar to Canadian Netflix. It's not a great selection. Canadian Netflix is getting better.

It's getting fine. I don't have it anymore, so I don't know. Oh, you gotta get it. Yeah, you gotta get it. It's not a great selection. Canadian Netflix is getting better. It's getting fine. I don't have it anymore, so I don't know. Oh, you got to get it. Yeah, you got to get it. Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. That's a new. Yeah. You like documentaries?

They've got all of them. Yeah. American Netflix has better documentaries. Well, American Netflix has better everything. Yeah. That's a great point. I hate it when you agree with me. Dave, what's going on with you, man?

Well, not much. As everyone in the world has, I have World Cup fever. Oh, sure. And actually, this episode will be reduced. Reused. Reused and recycled. Released. Maybe after the World Cup's over, we have to pre-tape a few episodes because Graham's going to

Toronto. Yeah. I had to meet all my old friends. Yeah, absolutely. Your old stomping ground. That's not where you're from. And we, so yeah, if the World Cup is over at this time, congratulations to the winner. Yeah, who do you think? Portugal? Oh, boy.

I hope it's, you know what? I just hope whoever the winner is, that this World Cup win distracts them from their social and economic points. I also hope that Paul the Octopus makes a comeback in his... Didn't he die? What? He died a World Cup ago. He died of World Cup fever. Yeah. No, that's true. It's uncurable. It died of World Cup fever. Yeah.

No, that's true. It's uncurable. It's rampant among octopi. And I, yeah, so the World Cup is going on and I'm trying to enjoy it. Yeah. I, are you really? Because you watch it. You watch, you'll actually watch a game.

Yeah, I'll watch it. I can, I have two computers at work. So one computer is just streaming the game. And it's fine. But like every time I step away from the desk, from my desk is when stuff happens. Who, like when you paint your face, what colors? I'm mostly just white, like a ghost. Like a mime ghost.

I do just black. Yeah, that's cool. Oh, yeah. Because it's like a mix of all the colors. I want to show how... I guess so. How into every country I am. Yeah.

Yeah, I think people get that. Yeah, totally. People in my neighborhood... I get a lot of hogs. Do people in your neighborhood, like, are they waving flags? Well, I live on Davie Street, so yeah. They're rainbow flags. In the neighborhood.

Because in my neighborhood, it's funny. Down the street, there's a house that just had England stuff. Like, so many flags. Like, on the door, on the windows. Like, bunting, going over the fence. And then they lost immediately, and they were out so fast, and the people were, like, you could tell that they didn't want to, like, up here, like. Putting the bunting on the compost heap. Yeah, like, they didn't want to seem like they were just, like, jumping off the bandwagon immediately.

Steve. Yeah, like, they didn't want to seem like they were just, like, jumping off the bandwagon immediately. But they got rid of a lot of stuff. But they still have a couple flags up, and they're like, hey, we're not just bandwagon people in England. We still like England. Yeah. We still bought all this stuff, so. Yeah.

Like, we still like the country street. Technically, we're only allowed to throw out this much stuff every week according to the city um and then across the street from them is a guy who uh he's uh i don't think he's even argentinian but he just owns a shirt and a flag this is all they had left at the store he's got's got a flag going out like over his door and then he's got in his window

a soccer jersey. Oh, he's not even wearing the jersey? No. I don't think it fits. And then on his gate, he's like roped around, tied up by a couple of pairs of soccer shoes. Just like these flags are uh uh because of the

soccer sort of sort of a theme and i believe he has a mug in the window and i can i can only see the letters r and o which i believe is because it's a mug it's a blue mug like they call it the the light blue of argentina but i believe it says Rio on it, which is one of the cities where the World Cup is happening. I thought it was going to say soccer, but like the letters are all mixed up. Oh, yeah, yeah. Like a jumble. Yeah, like backwards soccer. And so he seems to really be enjoying himself.

And then occasionally when other teams are playing, like when America was playing, he put out an American flag. He's like, here's a smaller flag. Yeah. A little lip service to the Americans. I would cheer for Canada

if they had a team in the World Cup, but we didn't. Did we? Oh, yeah, we did. We won. Oh, did we? Yeah.

Congratulations. I think Canada has only been in one World Cup. Yeah. 1986. Oh, nice. I believe we didn't score a single goal. we won oh did we yeah congratulations I think Canada has only been in one world cup yeah 1986 oh right I believe we didn't

score a single goal we didn't we weren't about scoring goals yeah we were about building friendships teamwork yeah

we made sure that everybody got to touch the ball yeah look at the Canadian team they're all wearing those

those those bracelets that they made for each other. They're wearing one big heart necklace with little portions in 11 little portions. But yeah, I'm truly trying to enjoy it. It's, I mean. You would never go to a sports bar. No.

To watch it. I don't go to a sports bar to watch a sport I enjoy but maybe I should go to one to watch one that's so boring because it would make it really exciting yeah because people would be you know they do the capoeira

during commercial breaks oh yeah they sing they dance who do? the voodoo the voodoo the voodoo that you do? the coyote ugly girls

do capoeira? yeah absolutely that's where I'm going to watch this. At a bar. They're up on the bar in front of the screen. Here's what I do. I show up at Coyote Ugly. I wear my necktie.

They're like, chop, chop. We cut off your necktie. Yeah. Square. You wear several neckties so that you get more attention from the coyotes. And because it's the style in the future. You've seen Back to the Future 2, right? Everyone wears two neckties.

And then Coyote Ugly, they reenact the soccer with their sexy dances. Is there a Coyote Ugly 2? Probably. Okay, that'll have to be the third then. Yeah. With the capoeira. Yeah. Have they everoeira. Yeah.

Have they ever done like a crossover of straight-to-DVD sequels of Bring It On and like whatever, like Starship Troopers? Because aren't there like 10 sequels of both of them? Yeah, they just eventually meld into one film. There are so many Bring It On movies. Also American Pie. Yeah, yeah. Those three films just become one mega film so that they can for me. Also American Pie. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Those three films just become one mega film

so that they can make it to cinemas again. Starship Troopers, we got to run the naked mile. Eugene Levy's directorial debut. Yeah,

I, how often does the World Cup happen? Every four years? Every year. No, it does not happen every year. Every four years? Every year. No, it does not happen every year. Every four years, yes.

Every four months. People are exhausted. That's why people don't like it. It's a Euro tournament every two years, and people get excited about that. People just get excited, I think, by anything where it's okay for them to go to a bar at 9 in the morning and drink. Because of, oh, this is in a different time zone. But I'm sure there's a soccer thing yearly in Europe.

Like a Euro Cup, maybe. There's a Euro Cup every four years. It's on the off years from the World Cup. But there is like, whatever, the Champions League of dumb... Oh, is that like Man United and all that? Yeah, all the ones from all the European teams.

I don't understand. Like I have a soccer video game where I just. FIFA? Yeah, it's that one. I have that one too. And you play, you can be a guy and you play for a team and they just, you just, games keep happening and you're like, oh, and it's not in any order. Like one week you'll be playing just in England.

The next week you'll be up against Germany. And it's like, am I still, am I eliminated from this other thing, but I'm still eligible for this thing? There was a kid from our high school that got drafted into like a professional soccer team. And I didn't even watch soccer then. Like even when I had a personal connection to... Do you like any sports? Uh, yeah, but it's like... It doesn't seem like you do.

I'm not, I'm not, I don't follow any. Okay. But, like, if a bunch of people, if a bunch of people were all going to go watch the World Cup, if that was a thing that people were doing, which nobody I know is, then I would go. See, like, the social aspects of sports.

Yeah. Of watching sports. Yeah, I don't, I I would go. See, like the social aspects of sports. Yeah. Of watching sports. Yeah, I don't understand watching a sport. I wouldn't watch a sport by myself. No, me neither. I've been watching them. I'm trying to enjoy them. They're fine.

The games are fine. No one claimed they would be exciting. I've lived 33 years and never, like, I guess I keep trying to convince myself there's going to be something worth investing myself into. But it's, I mean, I'm not telling tales out of school. Soccer's boring. I like watching tennis. I'll watch tennis.

Really? Yeah, I like tennis. Yeah, that seems really slow to me. Sorry if I seem distracted. I've pulled up Eugene Lovey's IMDB page. I assumed you were playing Candy Crush. Oh. What is...

What is his directorial debut? Yeah. I don't think he's ever directed anything. Well, I mean, TV or movies? Movies. Has he directed TV? Oh, he directed that Psycho remake. Wasn't that him who...

He directed three episodes of The Martin Short Show. That's pretty good. He directed a TV movie called Sodbusters. Were you in that? Yes. Did you get busted? I died. Did you get killed by Chris Christopherson?

And his... He directed two episodes of Maniac Mansion. Oh, Maniac Mansion Oh Maniac Mansion Yeah that's a reference His feature film Directorial debut Once Upon a Crime Starring

John Candy James Belushi Sybil Shepard Sean Young Richard Lewis And that's where That's quite a cast Yeah that's where

I've never heard of that film No me neither So it's not an age thing. It's a movie. And that was also his directorial swan song. Jim Belushi is touring around with something called the Board of Comedy. B-O-R-E-D? Yeah.

I don't know what it is. I don't know if it's him and a bunch of comedians or if he's doing a blues band thing. Well, if you want to go, I'm sure there'll be a Groupon for it. If you want to go, we're going to go see the Board of Comedy and then go see a World Cup game. Is it like Vince Vaughn's traveling Texas barbecue road show? Which is on Canadian Netflix, by the way. I'm sure. What was it again? Traveling Texas barbecue road show. Which is on Canadian Netflix. I'm sure. What was it again?

Traveling Texas barbecue road show. I feel like it's that, but with a different kind, more of a vinegar based barbecue sauce. Just a different, maybe a deep dish pizza. Yeah, I don't know. I just saw it listed on a casino's website.

There's Jim Belushi and the Board of Comedy. On the local casino. No, a Toronto casino. Oh, okay. When you'll be in Toronto? No, I was just looking at a casino. I'm a gambling addict. What I was doing is I was trying to buy tickets to something in Calgary,

and then you type in comedy, and it gives you comedy listings for everything in the entire country. Right. And so Jim Belushi is going town to town with the Board of Comedy, and I assume doing blues covers. That's probably what it is. Or blues originals. Oh, you think? Yeah. My brother was mortality. I look forward to hearing how good it was from my

many aunts oh yeah which is who will go yeah who likes pollution pollution well courtney thorne smith yeah his tv wife yeah the whole i guess whoever watched according to jim yeah all those years so millions of people yeah like millions and millions of people millions and billions of people. Yeah, like millions and millions of people. Millions and billions of people. Yeah, it's the only television show that we sent out into space to represent us as a species. To the alien. Yeah, it's on Space Netflix. Oh, I did a thing for work. Where do you work? I work at CBC Music.

Cool, me too. Oh, cool. I don't see you there often. I'm shy. I work at CBC Music. Cool, me too. Oh, cool. I don't see you there often.

And I came up, I had a story idea about TV theme songs. Right. And I was curious, like, because when I was a kid, there were a lot of TV theme songs and everyone knew the words to them. And now I have a feeling that there are less of them. Yeah. And, like, there's less ones with lyrics. And I... That's true i kind of like i did a statistical analysis of the the um top 30 network shows like it's hard to get all the data on

everything because there's so many tv shows yeah but then i went through all of them and i found all of the the um theme songs and some of them don't have theme songs and uh most of them don't have lyrics uh but back i did it like every year from or every five years from 1980 to now yeah i did a lot of work on that this is astonishing um and when i i went like in 1980 there were eight of the top 30 TV shows had the name of the show in the lyrics. Like The Love Boat and like WKRP and Cincinnati. Yeah, yeah. One Day at a Time, Eight is Enough. They all had the name of the show in the lyrics.

And there's only one show in the top 30 TV shows nowadays that has the name of the show in the lyrics. The Big Bang Theory? Yeah. And it doesn't even have theory in it. Yeah. That's the only one I can think of that has a theme song. Or, well, not a theme song, but it's a theme song with lyrics.

Yeah. A lot of kid shows have the theme song. Yeah. Yeah, that's true. Like Arthur. Two and a half minutes. Arthur's theme song is Ziggy Marley. Really?

Yeah. Oh. Do you think he does it live? Do you think that's the big encore he does? What song is it? The theme from Arthur? Yeah. Well, I mean, the Big Bang Theory, their theme song is the Barenaked Ladies.

Yeah. And wasn't it Mr. Young's theme song was done by past guest Steve Bays? Oh, really? Yeah. If not Hot Hot Heat, definitely Steve Bays. Yeah, that's nothing new. Everyone's... Alan Thicke did it.

Yeah, Waylon Jennings did it. Didn't Neil Diamond do it? No, I guess he didn't write Hey Hey We're the Monkeys. But he did write songs for the monkeys. Yeah. He wrote Turn On Your Heartlight from the E.T. series. That could have been a series. If it used to be. Yeah.

Where's E.T.? What stuffed animals is he hiding in this time? Have you seen E.T.? Yeah. He's the extraterrestrial? Yeah. Yeah. I'm familiar.T.? Yeah. He's the extraterrestrial? Yeah. I'm familiar.

Yeah, you were in the horror knockoff where the Drew Barrymore character gets murdered. Yeah, so that's me. Looking up TV theme songs and trying to enjoy the World Cup. It's fine. I'm not going to get excited about it. Not as excited. You know what? When'm not gonna get excited about it not as excited you know what

when people are already that excited about a thing it makes me feel like i don't even have to bother yeah you know what i mean there's already momentum yeah people already are out with their flags and their face paint and stuff yeah i don't need to and i don't have any like cultural heritage right like at all. Like that English house over there. Like I'm Ukrainian and Polish but I don't

they're not in it this time. I'm those things as well. But I'm also like I don't care. Like I never ate a pierogi

until I was 20. Really? Yeah. Out of principle? Well I just didn't they just looked gross. They were just defiant. They were.

I'm like, no, no one in my family spoke the language. Yeah, that's true. I'm a couple of generations removed from any sort of connection with it. Yeah. You, you could be, you could easily marry one of your Ukrainian distant cousins and not even know. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you're already married, but.

But, yeah. But, you know. Oh, I'm just saying. What are you saying? I don't know. So, yeah. What's. Oh, boy.

What's going on with you, my friend? You know, not too much. I went and saw. I finally went and saw the Douglas Copeland exhibit. Oh, right. That's a visual art at the Vancouver Art Gallery. Yeah, yeah. And he's big on collecting junk, and I am as well.

So it was mostly... He loved it. Well, it was mostly like, I could collect junk. But no, I did. I enjoyed it. So what is it? But no, I did. I enjoyed it.

So what is it? Just like if you had put some dumb lunchbox under good lighting, you could be an artist? I guess. Yeah. Like, because the whole first room you walk into is just shelves and dressers. He's made like crazy dressers. And you're like, I have a dresser. Yeah, exactly. I have a dresser.

Yeah, exactly. You can look at a nice dresser at home. But I don't think he makes the things. No, he doesn't. Like, I don't get that. I don't get, like, how do I get there? How do I get to be a guy who's like, I'm not going to get my pants dirty. I don't want to walk around with paint on anything.

But I'm an artist now. Yeah, yeah. Well, there was one. My favorite one was one that he actually made. What is the thing where he was lego and he didn't make it um it specifically says that he didn't make it on the the whatever i've done nothing yeah um i know people who know how to do things. Yeah, it's just like a collection of his friend's stuff that he's excited about. There are some things in there that are just paintings that other people did that he just put in the collection. But there was one thing where he chewed up pieces of a book that he wrote and turned it into like um like a wasp's nest like he chewed

them up and then spat them out and like create a wasp nest that was the best that was the very best thing in the whole exhibit um that would be fun yeah like i was just picturing him as fun yeah like he's sitting on a stool i imagine him dipping the books in water like those competitive eaters with the hot dogs. Yeah. Which would have happened on July

4th by now. Oh yeah, that's the big day. Yeah. What's his name? Kobayashi? Is he still in the...

He hasn't been in it for years because he competes in a different league. Oh, okay. I'm really bummed that I missed it this year. It hasn't happened yet. I know.

Oh, I see what you're doing. You haven't missed it yet. This is like that TV show, Early Edition, where you can right those wrongs. Yeah, now you can go back and watch the hot dog eating competition. Like time travel. Yeah, but don't use your future knowledge to gamble on who's winning. you can go back and watch the hot dog eating competition. Like time travel. Yeah. But don't use your future knowledge to gamble on who's winning. The fat guy, I guess.

What, so you saw some art. I saw some art. You saw some chewed up art. I went and saw, yeah, I went and. Saw your dresser. Yeah, I went and saw some dresser. Was the chewed up book, was it like under glass? Yeah.

You couldn't smell it? No. Yeah, you couldn't smell it. That's very interesting. Because, yeah, it probably would have been pretty gross. Was it like a last minute thing and it was still wet? Yeah. He was still in the corner with pages hanging out of his mouth.

He probably got a dog to chew it up. Probably wasn't even him. Yeah, I went, that's, I don't know, the past week all I've been doing is just, I've been doing lots of prep stuff to go to Toronto and then watching crime documentaries. Okay. That's been my whole week aside.

What kind of crime documentaries? Mostly about like. It's like bring it on. Yeah. Yeah, sure. Like drug, you know, What kind of crime documentary? Mostly about like Just like bring it on Yeah Yeah sure Like drug You know how Drug dealers

Do the great business And like Do the great business? No how they do like They make a lot of money Like they do great business Yeah yeah yeah Okay just making sure

I heard you right Yeah yeah And How do they do Great business? Mostly Mostly what it is Is cutting out the middleman all right that's not getting high on their own supply yeah that was exactly i was from the movie mr untouchable that was one of them uh he said he was like i knew i had to make a decision was i going to be a drug user or drug seller and i

decided to stop using drugs and start selling them. Which he didn't count any other possibilities. Yeah, exactly. Like, we've all faced that decision. Yeah. I knew my picture was drug related. So, yeah, don't get higher on supply. Cut out the middleman. Cut out the middleman.

Money. First you get the money, then you get the power. Then you get the women. Oh, and there was this one. No. Power. Women. Money. There, then you get the power. Then you get the women. Oh, and there was this one. No, power, women, money. It was the women, power. What if first you got the women? That would make everything a lot easier.

Then you wouldn't have done the other things. That's true. You'd be busy. You'd be too busy to do all the other things. There's like a black, this group called the Black Mafia Family, and they were like a black this this group called the black mafia family and they were like a record label slash drug are they black uh yeah they're mostly black um they were drug cartel but also had like a legitimate front as a music okay business in the early 2000s oh really yeah

recently any songs I would know? I don't know. They said, you know, like their artist that they really got behind was a guy called... Justin Bieber? Yeah. It was a young Justin Bieber.

They threw all their money behind a white kid from Ontario. Are you younger than Justin Bieber? He's older than me, yeah. Oh, gross. Blue Da Vinci. By like six months or something. Blue Da Vinci, yeah. Oh, gross. Blue Da Vinci was the name. Blue Da Vinci.

Yeah. Well, his birthday is March 1st, 1994. Mine is August 7th, 1994. Oh, so he's just barely. Yeah, just a few months. All right. So you guys could date.

We could date, yeah. It'd be fine. All right. I could date Justin Bieber. It would be fine. That's true. I'm from Ontario, kind of, but Montreal. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, no, you need to be from that end. Yeah. We have a lot to talk about. He's only ever dated women from his area. And his race as well, probably. I mean, race is a construct. So anyways, learned a lot about

drug distribution and how little it's changed over the years. Did you ever sell drugs? Of course. I'm selling drugs right now. I'm just trying to cut out the middleman.

Who is your middleman? This guy that I buy all my drugs from. I buy them retail and sell them for slightly higher retail. Bring the savings out to you. I buy them retail and sell them for slightly higher retail. Bring the savings on to you.

Yeah. I don't, I should, I wish I had a wholesaler. I have a feeling you're the middle man. Oh, I hope somebody

doesn't try to take me out to cut you out. Oh, man. Guys, don't cut me out. I really need this job. Oh, boy. Look,

I know I'm just a middle, I know I just take the drugs from your place and drive them down the street. And mark up the price. By adding frills and gimmicks. By putting my brand name on it. Please don't cut me out, you guys. Yeah, I don't know.

Like, if I ever wanted to start a drug business, these documentaries would be a real great how-to. I guess so. But they all, all those stories sort of start, like, two people just happen to meet. Yeah. And, like, you just need to meet the right, one day you'll meet the right guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I got to find the right, because I need somebody who's got the, I need to meet two guys. One guy that has the brains for the business and the other guy that has kind of the muscle.

You should do like a bachelor style show. Oh yeah. Will you be my middleman? The middleman. And everyone gets like a syringe. Yeah. Yeah. Um,

yeah. The guy from the, like the one from the seventies, he sold heroin. And then the guys in the 2000s sold cocaine. That was their thing. And they had, it was like really smart. They had like a car business, like pick you up from the airport in a fancy car.

Oh, okay. And that's how they moved the drugs. They just moved it from like airport to airport in these fancy vehicles. And one of the vehicles was seized, searched, and then sold to somebody like at a- Auction? Auction. And the guy had part of the interior taken apart and there was a million dollars stored in there.

And the guy got to keep it because they didn't find it during- Oh, the guy who bought it? Yeah. And they were like- Did the drug dealers not go kill him? No, they will. Yeah, they probably will Actually Yeah I didn't think about

The bad side of it Just some Some honest guy Won it? Yeah Like bought it at an auction And then I'm

I'm curious about these Police auctions Yeah Cause you know You could buy Something that has panels Who knows How did he find something

That the cops didn't do? He had the interior all taken out. Yeah. Oh, did you already say that? The cops are, I mean, they're like pigs. I heard. Oink, oink. Very lazy.

Very, they like their own filth. Yeah. Donuts. Cops have always been very nice to me. Yeah. Me too. Weird. Yeah.

So, yeah, that's me. That's all I got up to. I learned how to start my own business and I learned how to be an artist. So I'm a little bit of both now. That's great. Yeah. All you have to do is have friends who sell drugs and or make art. It's all about who you know in the business.

Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, just chew up some of that heroin and make a little wasp sniff. Should we move on to overheards? Okay. All right. Bikini season. Volleyball time. Hot dogs and hamburgers.

Get ready to Olympic dive. Fourth of July. Are you ready for rollerblading rain time? That's right. It's Aaron and Brian from Throwing Shade. If you didn't know from that very clear intro. We take a look at issues involving ladies and gays And we treat them with much less respect than they deserve

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Retta, Kate Flannery, and more. These ladies will make you laugh so hard you will literally explode. So go to MaximumFun.org or iTunes and download Lady to Lady before it's too late. Wait, where's the music? What happened? My throat hurts. I don't know what to do. Should we just get coffee?

Okay. Overheard. Overheard's a segment in which if you're out in the world and you see something, say something. Say something. Over the break, the three of us, we ate some popsicles because it's so hot here.

Yeah. It's the hot time, hot town, summer in the city. Summer in the city. Back of my neck getting dirty and gritty. That's right.

Is there something about girls looking pretty? No, that's the Guns N' Roses song, isn't it? Dirty and gritty. You know this song from UU. Yeah.

My dad has hummed it before. Yeah. It was in the Die Hard that came out when you were two. Oh, yeah. But the three of us had popsicles. Yeah. And Graham and Sophie had real popsicles from the Popsicle Corporation Cyclones and I had

this local brand that makes tea flavored popsicles because they looked so good on TV they looked good even when you were eating it we thought he was lying the one I ate was a tropical mango flavor like an iced tea

tropical mango popsicle. Yeah. It should have been soaked. What sounds more delicious than that? It tasted like molasses, but not in the way that they say molasses is sweet. Yeah, yeah. Like, yeah, like brown sludge. I think poo flavored was tossed around.

Yeah, there was some of that. Yeah. But it wasn't. You also said that it tasted like a root. Yeah, it tasted like I was eating some kind of. Licorice. I was sucking on some kind of wooden thing I dug up out of the ground. It was thumbs down.

I bought two boxes of these things. Because they look so good on TV. They're on a news segment. And now I'm stuck with them. And you guys got to eat delicious cyclones. In your face we ate them. Yeah. There it is.

Yeah. So if you. Now you have to look at our blue mouth. Yeah. Yeah. I believe it's a local company that makes them. If you're listening, local company that makes these iced teapops, buy them back from me. Yeah, failing grade.

Yeah, we figured that you can't donate them to the food bank. So you're stuck with them. Because they're too gross. Anyway. Maybe Grandpa will like them. Oh, yeah. Yeah. But he'll get so fat.

That's okay. It'll be cute for him to put on a little weight. Real dogs have curves. That's right. So it's an America Ferrera vehicle, isn't it? Machine real women have curves? I don't know. What is...

I just know it as an expression. I know as well. Okay. In addition to overheards that are written in, we also accept your phone calls. We always like to start the overheard segment with the guest. I have one. Oh, good. Oh, good.

So, please, if you would. I will. My fella, Christopher James. Who's that? Who dat? New phone. Who dat? Past guest. My lover. Past guest. Current boyfriend that? Who dat? New phone. Who dat? Past guest.

My lover. Past guest. Current boyfriend. Yes, it's been on here. Yes. We were walking home a couple weeks ago on Davie Street, and there was a very charismatic homeless man walking towards us. Just a real jump in a step, twinkle in his eye.

just a real jump in a step twinkle in his eye and he spotted somebody he knew in a nearby parking lot and yelled to his friend hey do you have any crack because I want some and then took a few steps and looked over his shoulder

and said more pretty good pretty good start to the day was this at the beginning of the day or the end of the day? The end of the day. I think we were coming home from a show. Oh, sure.

It's Cracker Clock somewhere. Yeah. I've been trying to cut down. I'm trying to think of another one of those like where you just add one word to the end of it. In bed. Yeah.

Dave, do you have an over what were some of those jokes that you had one word like not or again yeah but then it got off

the bus yeah yeah yeah dad I said dad what are you doing yeah these are great

uh my overheard is from brunch cause uh that's the only time I'm around people, I guess. Ladies who brunch. Yeah, so I was with my lady group. Drinking wine, reading books. I was with No Ma'am, my...

Your men's rights group. Yeah, that was my men's group. And so I was with my wife and we were eating brunch and I'm looking it up on my phone. And there was a conversation happening at the table next to ours and it was just happening over my shoulder. So Abby didn't hear it, but I heard it. And they were talking about throwing up and like making yourself throw up. And it was two people and then this woman. And the woman was doing all the talking.

She was like, she had a thing to say about throwing up. And she was talking to the other two and she was like, have you ever stuck your finger down your throat and made yourself throw up? And I didn't really hear their responses because she was so much louder than I was. And then she said, yeah, I've only been able to do that once and it was after i ate 28 raw eggs i stuck my finger down my throat and i was able to throw up four or five of them like she measured wow maybe the yolks were intact. She's like Cool Hand Luke. Yeah. Yeah.

She's like Rocky. Yeah. Yeah. She's like a combination of Cool Hand Luke. How many did Cool Hand Luke drink?

Like 50? Yeah. Something like that. He just kept Cool Hand Luke. No. Yeah. He seems cool.

I know. Cool guy. That's not a that's not something from our generation either. No. But it's a classic. Right?

It's fine. Nah. It's not that good. I'm not but it's a classic Right It's fine Nah It's not that good I'm not in trouble for that one I can tell that there's controversy You better watch Cool Look I don't even

I didn't really like it Please don't hit me again Sorry Now Graham Yes Have you The thing about this lady Yeah

Was like You'd think you'd be able To throw them all up Also you'd think you'd be able To throw them all up Also you'd think You'd be able to throw up After three Right Yeah without even

Sticking your finger Down your throat Yeah cause I feel A little queasy After eating two eggs I feel queasy Hearing about eggs Was this at a

Classy brunch place Or were you guys At a Denny's Oh it was classier Than a Denny's Okay I don't wanna blow up My brunch spot.

Understood. But, like, this doesn't seem like brunch conversation. No. It definitely doesn't seem like loud brunch conversation. Yeah, it doesn't seem like any conversation, really. Yeah. I mean, if I ate that many eggs, I would tell people, probably. I know, but I have a feeling this lady's forcing it into a lot of conversations.

Well, but anytime that anybody orders eggs, oh, well, I got it. Why 28 of them? Like, you have to crack open three dozen for that. Yeah, that's right. Well, or maybe she had already finished six from a previous throwing up experiment. So she still had half done. Yeah, it's like when you're training for a marathon, you don't run a whole marathon. That's right.

Yeah. You have to go up in segments. Yeah. So, yeah. The most I've ever puked up is 28. But I did cover up my nipples so they wouldn't chafe. But she only threw up four so her egg retention maybe she got hungry after four and then went and ate more eggs yeah this is possible maybe she's got a cow's

stomach oh yeah maybe wait did you even look over did you look over to see if it was a cow oh it was a cow yeah yeah do cows eat eggs i think i mean you're on a farm You dared them I mean, like if you want to make an omelette You gotta eat the eggs I think sometimes the chicken will come over and stick its butt over it The cow like Yeah, I dare you And then an egg just falls out into the cow's mouth

What's the cow gonna do? Just watch me Graham, I understand you have an overheard Yeah, mine is from a diner. I was eating at a diner. Like a Denny's? Not a Denny's. Like a Denny's, but one step above a Denny's.

Have you seen the movie Diner? It's the- Paul Reiser. Paul Reiser, yeah. Mickey Rourke. Yeah. Mickey Mouse. Mickey Mouse.

Daniel Stern. It was Mickey Rooney. Yeah, Daniel Stern it was Mickey Rooney yeah Daniel Stern and also I've never seen it some I watched it because there was like a magazine

article that said this was the beginning of like this is why Seinfeld was a thing right all this kind of stuff so I watched it

and I was like I think Seinfeld would have existed without Diner I think Diner was taking Diner a little too seriously I mean maybe Mad Seinfeld would have existed without Diner. I think Diner was taking Diner a little too seriously. I mean, maybe Mad About You wouldn't have existed.

This is true. But there was one guy at this diner, Paul Raster. He was explaining to a girl a tattoo design that he was working on. And he went into great detail of what this tattoo was going to be it wasn't for himself this was for somebody else uh and it was a bunch of different dinosaurs right not the mama yeah so this is um uh he's like describing about the pterodactyls and then there's the t-rex over here and this one's running underneath this one he And he goes, I call it the dino apocalypse or the dinocalypse.

Well, that was funny. Not bad. Yeah. And the, you know, the girl had to pretend that she was interested. Right. Because I think she probably liked him, you know,

and so she sat through his dumb. Oh, really? Yeah, dinocalypse. You know, those dinosaurs didn't exist at the same time. Rip, rip, chew, spit out. Hornet's nest. Yeah, the dinosaurs.

Weren't they around for like hundreds of millions of years and didn't all coexist? Yeah, because it was- Certainly not peacefully. There was the Jurassic, the Cree- Cretaceous? Yeah, and the Bodacious. Yeah, that's when you had your surfing dinosaurs

yeah all the dinosaurs that wore sunglasses Hawaiian shirt dinosaurs yeah from the bodacious from bodacious park that doesn't even really work it does in my head it's great

um now we also have uh overheard That doesn't even really work. It does in my head. It's great. Now, we also have overheards sent in by listeners. We have. That's a first. For the first time ever. Do you remember when we started this show, did we have overheards from the guests or from listeners? How many episodes in did that take? Oh, that's a very good question.

Probably like 10 episodes in, I would say. Before people started sending in their own? I don't know. And phone calls took like... Did you start asking for them or did people just... People, I think, just started. People love... You guys. No, people just want to be included.

This is not what we all want. Yeah, but I just... That's why Dave bought those popsicles. With a guest on the podcast, that's what you should do. Yeah. Everyone writing in, just wait until you're a guest on the podcast that's what you should do yeah everyone writing in just wait till you're a guest on the podcast

yeah be patient guys I'll call you if you're 14 right now you'll be you know you'll be 19 one day it gets better oh is that true does it get better

yeah does it get better I don't know yet oh yeah let's do it catch 22 if you want to send an overheard into us send it into spy at maximumfund.org this first one comes from nate d my wife and i live in the mountains near la sounds bodacious

um what were we talking about mount shasta while my wife and i were trying to enjoy the lake a father and his young teenage son were posing for a photo when he shouted hey try to take the picture so it looks like we're peeing in the lake pretty good yeah pretty good pretty good dad father i assume father son but it could be father daughter i guess it's you know. Growing up as a young person, what age were you and your family got like a digital camera? Or do you not even remember? Because it was omnipresent. There just always was a digital camera.

I know when my grandma got one this week. Oh, that's what I was asking. camera i know when my grandma got one this week oh that's what i was asking i just mean because like you used to have to pose for photos and just take one yeah that's true no no we had that for sure like where you just had like when i was little it was like a photo like film yeah they still have film developers that's still yeah but they're called tipsters now. Yeah. Yeah. In their face.

But you can get them to develop digital photos too. Oh, yeah. Or like print digital photos. Better. Better than your dumb inkjet. Yeah, that was supposed to be the big thing, right? We're going to put the photo mats out of business. Yeah. Like, nerd.

People just aren't going to have any paper photos anymore. Yeah. Yeah, either that. But that sucks, because in the future, like, there'll be so much new technology that you won't be able to read, like, the photos that we took on digital cameras today, I feel like. Because there'll be, like, so. They'll just be lost. But if they're paper, they'll always be there.

Yeah. Does that make sense? Yeah, because yeah, like you'll have, you'll lose the cord that plugs into the computer and then you lost all those photos.

Yeah, but you, I have thousands on my computer right now and I never look at them. No. Nobody ever looks at photos ever. I can put them in a cloud.

If they, if you, if they make a documentary about you, they'll ask for a few. If nobody ever looks at photos, then why do I have to go to every concert and watch through everyone else's screen? Nobody watches that footage. No. Of the concert that they watched.

Oh, wow. So Basie. Yeah. I'm seeing Count Basie. Yeah, I remember this. I remember this. Oh, yeah. I guess.

Oh, that was obnoxious of me. It sucks at concerts, too, because I'm seeing Count Basie. Yeah, I remember this. I remember this. Oh, yeah, I guess. Oh, that was obnoxious of me. It sucks at concerts, too, because I'm really short, so I have to look in the screen at the person right in front of me to see what's going on on stage. Why don't you just get up at the front? Why don't you just open up this pit? I'm not strong enough. You got to work on the upper body. Yeah.

You got to work on your fists. You got tiny little fists. I do. They're weak. Yeah, you got to soak them in gasoline. That's how we did it Yes In our day

Yeah exactly Seven hours a week It gets better It doesn't get better But you get to sniff Your gas Covered wrist Whatever you want

Yeah Just get a little high Oh the smell of gas I have my Dayquil Thank you Right Yeah The natural high

Your doctor didn't recommend For your laryngitis, why don't you sniff some gas? Dr. Graham did. Yeah. When you're next at the gas station, stand there, linger for a minute. Yeah, a little bit. Yeah.

This next one comes from Adam S. Don't know where from. Adam Sandler? Yeah. Hey, everybody. That's pretty good. I was walking my dog the other day and passed a family who had just

come out of their house and were piling into the car. The oldest son was for some reason very excited about a fanny pack. I couldn't see if he was actually wearing one, but he was boisterously saying to his siblings, I have a fanny pack. Get inside my fanny pack. I couldn't see if he was actually wearing one, but he was boisterously saying to his siblings, I have a fanny pack. Get inside my fanny pack.

Do the fanny pack. Everybody pile inside my fanny pack. That's a very good one. Yeah. Fanny packs back, right? People wear them now? You don't know? I wear a money belt.

It's like a fanny pack but it's it's slim so no one can tell that i'm got my passport i got my my traveler's checks yeah yeah a few secret identities in there some band-aids i got some band-aids. You got some band-aids? I've got rubbing alcohol. I've got some gas to huff. It's just like a giant bulge. It's very obvious. I've got a tensor bandage. I've mummied up in there. This last one comes from Tim W. While dropping my son off at a youth night at the local community center,

the TV was too laughing at. You're a youth night at the local community center. The TV was too laughing at. You're a youth night. I like it already. Maybe I saw this guy. Yeah, yeah. At your last youth night. The TV was tuned. Youth drink for free.

Youth night. Tuesday night is youth night The TV was tuned to A Fresh Prince of Bel-Air rerun Three 12 to 13 year old girls were watching After a few minutes one remarked That's Will Smith and he has the world's best haircut He did

That was a great haircut he had. He had a look. Yeah, right? And he kept it right up till the end of the series. He was always... Right? It's just a flat top.

He still has it. Does he really? No. What does he have now? Round top. Round top. He just does like a close... Who...

What... I remember Vanilla Ice had like a type of flat top. Yeah. But it was combed. It was just all swirled up into a flat top. Yeah. Yeah. And Macklemore has the new flat top.

Yeah. Everybody has that haircut now. Yeah. It looks like an ice cream sundae on your head. It does look like that. Yeah. It looks like a dessert. When I go get my haircut.

Except not delicious. When I get my haircut, I ask for the Macklemore. Yeah. It looks great on you. Yeah, it looks like a When I go get my haircut. Except not delicious. When I get my haircut, I ask for the Macklemore. Yeah. It looks great on you. Very youthful. Yeah, thank you. You can get into any

youth night. Yeah, I pop tags. Ceilings can't hold me. I fight for gay marriage. And a fourth song. So that's the show. Yeah. No, Dave, it's not.

In addition to overheards that are written in We also accept your phone calls If you want to call us, our phone number is 206-339-8328 Like these people have Hey Dave Graham and likely guest This is Greg from Omaha Calling in an overheard

I was at the zoo the other day And I was leaving the orangutan enclosure. And a little girl, probably about three or four years old, walked by me a few feet ahead of her mother. And she said, Mom, there's a chimp this way. And the mom replied, Okay, but y'all better not be toying with my emotions. You promised me chimps. Yeah. And so far, all I've seen is dumb orangutans.

What are you, the boy who cried chimp? Yeah. All day long, you've been telling me we're going to see chimps. I liked how blasé that guy was about going to the zoo. Yeah. It was like, I just came home from that guy was about going to the zoo. Yeah. Like, he was like, I just came home from work. Well, he's Greg from Omaha.

He's got a lot going on in Omaha. You're not impressed by no zoos? Yeah, what's going on in Omaha? Well, there's that Counting Crows song. Yeah. There's the movie Election. There's the motorcycle. Is that wrong?

Yeah. Is that wrong? Yeah. Omaha? Is that wrong? I like how you knew it was wrong. Yeah. It ain't right. Sounded right. Omaha, that's wrong, right? No.

Don't they have steaks? Omaha steaks? Yeah, where is Omaha? Nebraska. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Close neighbor of Wahoo. Wah Omaha? Nebraska. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Close neighbor of Wahoo. Wahoo, Nebraska. That's another thing.

Here's your next phone call. Oh, no, Dave. Oh, it's name city. No, no. Nebraska. Hi, stop podcasting yourself. It's Chris from Montreal with an overseen. I just saw a guy waiting for the bus with a black hockey jersey style shirt with green flames all over it.

The number on the back was 666, and the name on the back was Dirty Steve. Love the show. Bye. Oh, but what was the team name? I know both of those people. He plays for Satan. Yeah, but if it was green flames, I feel like it would be weed related.

Did he not say the name of the team? It was something like the Devil's Reachings. Oh, I thought he said it just was a black jersey with green flames on it. I wasn't listening. I think it was, I was probably like the Pot Stars

or something like that. Yeah, sure. Yeah. The Pot Stars are the bad guys in Space Jam, right? Yeah. Yeah. They're what happens

when you do pot. You grow big and strong. Body. Is that from that movie? Yeah, Pot Star. They were the Monstars? Yeah. Yeah, they were the Monstars.

I never saw that film. Bill Murray's in it. So you can say that for it. Bill Murray. Big BM. I'm all about poo jokes. Yep. Bill Murray.

Bugs Bunny. The big two. What other movies have Bugs Bunny the big two what other movies have Bugs Bunny been in oh he was in he was in Bram Stoker's

Dragula what did he play Dragula he was also in Ice White Chut he did a cameo in Ice White Chut oh he did a cameo

in Baka 2 as well Baka 2 oh yeah Baka 2 he's Australian. And I's White Chud, he was put on lipstick and did the Ladybugs Bunny thing. Oh, yeah? And Tom Cruise fell in love with that.

Oh, sure. Classic Tom. He wore one of those sex capes. Yeah. Here's your final phone call of 2014. Hey Dave, hey Graham, this is Ben. I'm at

the Firefly Festival in glorious Dover, Delaware and I haven't overheard they were passing out Garnier fruit piece samples of conditioner and I overheard two guys studying them

and they said, is this lotion or a drink? Wrong on both counts. I mean, it's closer to lotion, I guess. Like head lotion. Is Garnier the one where the girl has the orgasm? No, that's

organic essentials. Oh, okay. What's Garnier, the one where the girl has the orgasm? No, that's organic essentials. Oh, okay. What's Garnier for cheese? That's where the guy runs up to the girl and ties her hair in a knot really violently. What? Yeah, to test the tensile strength of her hair. Oh, what? Herbal essences.

Herbal essences. That's the orgasm one. Right. Where Nicole Scherzinger takes a shower on a plane. Yeah. Oh, man. To take a shower at that height. This guy was at the Firefly Festival in Dover, Delaware.

What is that? What and where is that? Well, it's the state capitol. We're trying to get all 50 state capitals in our overheads. But I do not know what a Firefly Festival is. Is it just... I bet it's real pretty. Is it actual fireflies?

It seems like it could be a cool name for a regular festival. Or it could be that TV show, Firefly? That Nathan Fillion vehicle? Literally a vehicle. They have all sorts of like... They still have like Stargate conferences and stuff. Yeah. Literally a vehicle. They have all sorts of like, they still have like Stargate conferences and stuff. Yeah, for shows that are off the air for nerds.

Yeah. I say nerd in the derogatory sense. You can't go to like a Third Rock from the Sun one. Like there's no. You can't. There's no for the. Because I don't know where they are. They're never for shows that I wish.

I was watching some Third Rock from the Sun on the Plane a couple weeks ago. Holds up. Still great. My boyfriend Stuart is in there. I forgot the thing where they had between every scene there would be an animation of planets doing weird formations. And the guitar.

Well, I didn't forget that. Anyway, the Firefly Festival. Have you ever seen a firefly? Is it a thing? No, I've never seen one in real life. Is it the kind that you catch one in your hand and you're like, you're dead. Yeah, you squish it and then you get its power.

Then you can fly. No, I've never seen a firefly because I don't think they, do they exist in Canada? Oh, probably somewhere. Probably up north. Yeah. But they're like bugs that have butts that light up. I guess so. And then you catch them in a jar.

Catch a bunch in a jar. And then you look at their butts. Yeah. Like, hey, we caught you and we're going to examine your butt all night. Yeah, this is the food chain. This is the butt chain. Well. Pretty good.

Yep. This is the end of the episode here. And every episode. This is usually when we do plugs, but I don't know. Do you have anything you want to plug? I can give out my phone number? Sure. Whatever you want.

I wouldn't. Get some overheards. Send some overheards to her phone number. Okay, I'll plug my Instagram. I love getting Instagram likes. Okay. Really? Yeah.

S-O-P-H-B-U-D-S. SophBuds. SophBuds. SophBuds. And are you also on Twitter? I am, but I don't really want any more followers. I'm good. How many do you have?

We're full. Oh, wow. Okay. I have like 200. Oh, you were the first to 200, I think. Yeah, yeah. It was you and Ashton Kutcher. Ashton Kutcher.

This Twitter thing might be for real. I have Twitter. You know, you may be crazy, but you just might be brilliant. Sure. Do you have anything? Well, I just want to give a mad shout out to all my brothers storming the Bastille tonight. Yeah, and also to T-Pops. T-Popsicles.

Whatever that company that makes the T-Pops, stop making them. I'm going to not buy them anymore. I hope you don't take the money I spent on those T-Pops as encouragement to keep your business going. You should use it to buy yourselves

a coffin. Big company coffin. All right. Well, uh, And you Graham? No, just, uh, you know, go to maximumfund.org. Oh yeah, here's what's up. Oh yeah.

Um, I don't, I'm, I'm sure it's sold out by now, but you know what? Didn't sell it as quickly as I thought it would. The John Doerr, uh, live episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself, October 2nd at, uh, the Biltmore here in Vancouver. Tickets might still be on sale For that It's hard to say Who knows

I don't get updates And also We are in the running For Best Audio Program In the Canadian Comedy Award

Oh yeah Congrats guys I forgot to say I saw that So head over to Canadiancomedy.ca And vote for us Did you vote for us?

I don't believe in voting. Oh, okay. Is that a new thing? But congrats is pretty good, too. Yeah, vote for us as long as you're Canadian. We would totally appreciate that. It would rule. And yeah, if you like the show, please do tell your friends.

And come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself.