Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 336 - Alicia Tobin

Episode Date: August 25, 2014

Alicia Tobin returns to talk murder TV, parking lot attendants, and Winnipeg.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 336 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who's a real piece of work. Mr. Dave Schumke. I'm a POW?

Yeah. Is that what that means? Yeah. That's what they're like. John McCain was a real piece of work for a few years in Vietnam. That's pretty good. It works because then, yeah, you're like, I'm just watching this thing about Vietnam. Pieces of work.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did you ever see, did you ever play that video game POW? No. It was a beat-em-up. Was it like an arcade game? Yeah. It was like Double Dragon or Renegade or Bad Dudes. Did it have guns?

Maybe it had guns. Yeah, yeah. I think I remember that. But that's weird because POWs very rarely, if they had guns, they wouldn't be POWs. They would have gotten out. Yeah, I think you got to steal guns from your cap doors. Oh, so hard. I know, right?

They hold on to them so tight. That's on level two. Yeah, that's not like taking candy from a baby. No, it's like taking guns from a cap door. And our guest today is one of our all-time favorite guests, returning guest, very funny comedian, Miss Alicia Taube. Hi, bumpers. What's so funny?

Hi, Alicia. Welcome aboard. Hey, guys. How's it going? Welcome to our clue crew. Your what crew? The Jeopardy clue crew. What is that?

Wait. Let's get to know us. Get to know us. Dave, what is that? Do you guys watch Jeopardy? Never. Not since Alex Trebek shaped his mustache. Jeopardy is a game show

hosted by Alex Trebek. Canadian. Six categories. Five clues per category. Answer in the form of a question. Yeah. Then there's double Jeopardy. But what's the clue crew?

The clue crew. Occasionally. Blue's Clues? I don't even think it's every episode. I think what's the clue crew the clue crew occasionally blue blues i don't even think it's every episode i think it's maybe twice a week uh there is a blonde lady uh an asian lady and i believe an african-american man they're the jeopardy clue crew and they're the biggest dorks they've never gotten laid how did they overcome their differences i guess they're all they used actually to be members of Captain Planet's crew. I was going to say they used to be Power Rangers, but yeah.

And what happens is there'll be a category that's like, Oslo, Norway. And all of the questions in Oslo, Norway, instead of Alex reading them, it'll be a dork in a museum being like, this is the Prince of Norway's helmet, and it's got this many jewels. The Prince of Norway's helmet. He plays hockey.

Sounds very good. Yeah, so they travel around, spreading joy. Yeah. And mirth. And knowledge. Alicia, how are you? Great. Yeah, what's new and exciting?

Well, I came over here tonight. I saw Grandpa. On the way here, I put air in my bicycle tire for the first time. Oh, what do you mean for the first time ever? First time on this bicycle and the first time in eight years. Did you use the one at the gas station? Yeah, so I just emptied out all of the air from my tire.

And then just walked away in shame? Pretty, I was close. Close to tears. Close to tears. Because when you start up the thing,

is it like? Well, I didn't know to start up the thing at first. Okay, so you just did the That's when I emptied out most of the air. Do you have to pay for it?

No. Oh, weird. All the air you can pump? I pump so much. And, yeah. So, that's new. Okay. But, yeah, I'm the same way where it's like, I've never,

the last time I filled up a tire was 10 years ago. And if I had to do it again, I would be super self-conscious and feel like everyone's watching me. And I would do it wrong, and I would explode my tire. Yeah, I was so do it again, I would be super self-conscious and feel like everyone's watching me. And I would do it wrong. And I would explode my tire. I was so afraid it was going to explode in my face.

And I'm wearing a dumb dress. And I was kneeling on the pavement. And I was like, oh, nobody's watching me. But when I stood up, somebody had been watching me. Everybody. There's a bunch of people applauding. I watched somebody try to parallel park like a camper van today. How long did you watch for, old background?

Like a recreational vehicle? Yeah, on like a residential street. It was, man, it was complex. Because, yeah, they don't have a great turning radius on them. And then this guy saw that it was next to his car they were parking, so he ran out to help them. Oh, so they don't hit his car. Yeah.

Not so welcome aboard. Welcome to the neighborhood. Up the street, there's a party house that always has travelers coming. The one across the way? There's one across the way, and then there's one up the street as well. Okay. Wow, two.

Yeah, but I think- Clanky houses. But the one that gets visitors is the one- Oh, boy, where am I pointing? The direction. For the listener, I'm pointing in that direction. Yeah. And they, like, sometimes it'll be-

It's usually those- Have you seen those Japanese right-hand drive, like, narrow vans? Yeah, yeah. It's usually one of those. Seems like that would be a single sleep only. Oh, but, and, like, I'm assuming that they're coming to party and, like, sleep in the house. Because every time I just yell with my windows up so they can't hear me, they can maybe hear a little bit. You can't sleep here.

I'll call the cops on you. Wasn't there, there used to be a camper on your street that you used to live on that you were positive people were living in like full time? Oh, yeah. That happens all over the city. Really? Yeah. I used to walk to work and see people just living in their cars.

So many people. That makes sense. A camper's a step up. You're still not doing great. You can sleep and make soup at the same time. Don't do that. But you can't do that in a car. No, no.

It takes eight hours to warm up a thing of soup in a camper. I was once, there's a park up the street. And one time when our dog was really young, we took him there. And there was a camper park there. Puppy grandpa. And then just like, it was nine o'clock in the morning, and a bunch of people got out and started playing Frisbee. And the dog stole the Frisbee, and they got really mad. Yeah, that's because that's the recreational thing. That's it, that's all they have.

But couldn't they, now that they're done sleeping for the night, couldn't they drive to a nicer park? They're trying to get into a regular routine. Their doctor told them.

We're trying to put down roots here. How many people got out of the camper? About four. Disgusting. Two kids and two grown-ups. Oh, that's fine. And four dirty looks.

So you successfully filled up a Not quite No? I got enough air in the tire It took me five minutes Yeah To bike over here But I don't think it's any more full Than when I left my house

We'll take a look at it after the podcast Okay, thank you Graham and I are We're experts in Judging Engineering Yeah, yeah We, you know I got my degree Yeah And I are, we're experts in engineering. Yeah.

Yeah. We, you know, I got my degree from Rudyard's. What? I don't know. Rudyard's? Yeah. Like Rudyard Kipling? Yeah, yeah. You're new to cycling.

You're a new cyclist. Yeah. I had a bike stolen Like 10 years ago And I You never recovered? It took me a long time To find the confidence In this city?

Yeah It was stolen? Yeah It was stolen from my backyard And I really loved it You've lived here for 10 years? Yep Wow

You don't look 10 Yeah So I just got the bike And I bike around And it's really cute And I look really cute on it. Yeah, with your little helmet. Uh-huh. Safety first.

That's right. And because I have to wear a helmet, I can only wear my hair in a low ponytail. Yeah, yeah, that's fun. Why don't you go for, like, a pixie cut? I wanted to get my hair cut like that, and my hairdresser said no. Oh, what do you mean? She's the boss of my hair no no no you're the boss this is very common what that a hairdresser commandeers your hair with

women okay sure with men generally just want a haircut just make just shorter yeah um but yeah no i've heard of um yeah well i had short hair when we became friends. Yeah, but like them negotiating you out of it or making an argument against it or... But I do have the most beautiful hair, like why would I cut it off? But I feel like it's also they weren't prepared when you walked in. They were like, oh, I thought this was going to be an easy

thing, so give me two months notice. Yeah, impossible. What are your thoughts on wearing like pigtails during your cycling days? I don't think full-grown women look good in pigtails. Agreed to disagree. Curves. Curves.

No, I agreed with you. Out loud. Yeah, out loud. But I could see you imagining. I'm no more likely to wear pigtails than I am a schoolgirl uniform. Nah, yeah. What about like a naughty nurse? Well, now you're talking.

But no pigtails. What about a French maid? Yeah, that's probably the best of those stupid outfits. Is it? Yeah. For my body type. There are so many. Once for work, I watched a bunch of Aerosmith videos,

and there are so many schoolgirl outfits in them that are like, not even just the Alicia Silverstone videos, but there's like, just, I think for a while, it just became their trademark. Yeah. They were kind of. It wouldn't even be part of the plot. That and the trademark of children. Yes, that's trademark. Yeah. They were kind of... It wouldn't even be part of the plot.

That and the trademark of children. Yes, that's right. Yeah. So, bicycling. Cycling. What else? I got stung by a wasp. What?

Yeah, really hurt. Okay, tell me more. Yeah. I was trying to look at the mirror on a blanket. Outside? Outside. Uh-huh.

I was talking to somebody I think is cute yeah I got stung by a wasp yeah whereabouts

on my knee oh and and it really hurts yeah I uh your bare knee right below

your school girl skirt and above your knee socks above my knee socks and my stripper shoes. Your Mary Janes? That's how I go to the park.

Yeah, really hurt. I didn't remember being stung. It's been so long. Did you have to pull the stinger out? Yep. I had to pull the wasp. The wasp was still on me when I knocked it out.

Yeah. And then he died because the stinger stayed in my leg. Is that true? I thought that was bees. Yeah, something happened. I think because I hit. Is that true? I thought that was bees. Yeah. Something happened, I think, because I hit him. Yeah, he was an old wasp.

This was his last shot at glory. Yeah, it was his last day on the force. That's it. That's it. That's it. Since we last saw you. I don't have a bike that got stuck by a wasp. It's been a big summer.

It's been a kind of quiet, weird summer. Yeah? Yeah, I spent a lot of time by myself. Well, you've moved into a new place. It's all your own place. Yeah, so I watch a lot of murder TV. That's true crime TV. I watch endless hours of that, and then I don't sleep because I'm super scared.

Yeah. What are your favorite true crime shows? They don't have names that I remember. Because I have the Crime TV channel. So I just put it on and then get hooked. And then three hours later, I'm terrified to go outside. What channel is Crime TV channel? ID. I think it's called ID.

Okay. Yeah. I've watched it at your place. And it's... Very disturbing. Yeah. It's not... I think you've watched too much of it and you've desensitized to it.

Because when I watch it, I'm like, I don't want to watch this thing about a guy who plotted his wife's murder or whatever. Yeah. It's always a guy plotting his wife's murder. Almost always. Or the other way around. But it's never a guy plotting his own murder. No. But there was one that we watched and the guy killed his wife because he didn't want to get a divorce.

Right, so stupid. And then at the end, the narrator was like, if he had only got a divorce, he would have... Gotten a divorce. Yeah, he would have gotten... Did the wife get killed, though? Yeah. Okay, I mean... There's no show on that channel where someone doesn't get killed, and it isn't a true story.

Is it, like, what's on it? Is it like 48 Hours Mystery? Yep, stuff like that. Dirtland Mystery. But there's also shows called Criminal, not Criminal Intent. That's a Law and Order. Law and Order. Criminal Minds.

That's a show. Yeah. Are they all? Criminal Plans. I don't remember. But it's all real. There's one that's called like Crazy Women. Something like that.

When Women Strike. Yeah. Black Widows. I think it's better when women strike. Yeah. Because it's like you kind of root for them. Yeah. Women be like this when they strike.

Well, and they're wearing those cute schoolgirl outfits. They've all got pigtails. Pigtails are covered in blood. Yeah. So I'm still doing my comedy show. Yeah. Come draw with me. Come draw with me.

Once a month on Fridays. Yeah. Abby and Dave haven't been for a while. And it's been at the... Here's what's up. My wife is eight and a half months pregnant pregnant And she still wants to go to the house And we never And we

Whenever we go to your show We can't get a seat So she'd be standing around That's true Pacing People would have to They'd have to give her a seat You'd be surprised

People Shocked The last time you guys came to the show You guys had seats Has that been a thing? I saved them That she's not been able To get a seat on the bus?

It's only been the last Couple of months Where she's been like Uncomfortable Yeah And then But yeah It's not a guarantee

That people will give up Their seats to a Very pregnant lady on a bus That's terrible That is terrible That's I've seen that That's like the rule

That's the golden rule What I do when I see that Is I put my earphones in. Yeah, in my eyes so that I can't see. I burrow in. Are there any true crime shows about people not giving up their seats? Or is it all murder? It's all murder.

Yeah. It's awful. I can't believe so many people get murdered. I can't believe more people don't. What with all these people not giving up their seat on the bus. Yeah. I think it's just that everyone who gets murdered gets a show made up

about them. Yeah. I mean, that's the trade-off. You want to be famous. Has there ever been a perfect crime? Or like,

would that just not make the channel? There are shows that don't, where they never find the murderer, but I don't like those ones because I figure

he's in the backyard. Yeah. He's in your backyard? Well, I watched one when I first moved in. It was about this senior who took in boarders and then murdered them. And she looked a lot like my neighbor across the street who takes in boarders.

Really? Yeah. And so I got scared when the woman asked me to, I wanted to see her house just to be a nice neighbor. Do you like bones? I said, no. I kind of think it'd be kind of cool to be murdered by an old lady. Wait, so you, this nice old lady was like, may I show you my house?

And you said, fuck you. I said, I am busy right now. I can't remember how I got out of it. And then now I just wave. I just wave. Yeah. It makes me very nervous. Last night, the cab driver on the way home from your show said, all he said the whole ride was, are you going home now?

Yeah. And then. And what did you say? Yes. And then he said, whole ride was, are you going home now? Yeah. And then? And what did you say? Yes. And then he said, is this your house? I said, yes. Do you ever make up like? And then I walked the other way when I got out of the cab.

Why? Because he murdered me. He said, don't murder me. Do you ever say like, oh, yeah, my boyfriend's home waiting for me? Or my ex-m ax murdering husband? Yeah, yeah. My husband should be finished sharpening all of his axes by now. Certainly not last night, but there were times where I've had weird cab drivers and I have said that.

Right. But he wasn't weird. I was just watching too much murder TV. Right. Do you only get the one channel? No, I get so many good channels. I get all the good channels. I get HBO On Demand and all these things.

It's great. It's just a lifelong obsession with these shows. This is when I visit home, my mom and I watch them for days. Yeah, but you have the game show network. You could be watching Bumper Stumpers whenever you want. We watch it when you come over. I can never get even one Bumper Stumper. M-R-D-R.

Murderer. Mr. Doctor. Mr. Doctor. This license plate belongs to a murderer. Mr. Doctor. Yeah, you know, maybe you should ease up on the crime shows. Yeah, well, last night I couldn't sleep, so I have to take another break.

But then I will forget that I'm on a break and get hooked and start this all over again. Yeah. I've had to cut myself off from Law & Order and all of the shows. Law & Order, that's dangerous because they're torn from the headlines. Yeah.

And Criminal Intent is the one where he always sets a trap. Yeah. It's your favorite one. Yeah. The guy, he sets like a psychological trap

and then the criminals always fall for it. Vincent D'Onofrio's character. He like coaxes a confession on him. Oh, yeah, yeah. Sorry. I thought you said Criminal Minds.

No, Criminal Minds is, you don't like that show. Criminal Minds is Greg from Darwin. It's total garbage. But it's the same thing as what you watch. No, Criminal Minds is a little darker. At least with Law and Order, there's Richard Belzer, there's Ice-T. That's true. There's a little levity in the mix.

And also the violence is even worse in criminal minds. Like they go into much greater detail and it's very gratuitous. And it's almost always involving a woman and the semen here or this one did this to before she died. Like, oh, he tore her anus. I can't find the semen.

Oh, here it is. And then they always play that Gowan song, Criminal Mind. A criminal mind is all I, all I've ever had. Beautiful. Yeah, really nice. You're a strange animal. I love Gowan. Who don't love Gowan?

People that don't know him. Yeah, that's true. If you knew him, you'd love him. To know him is to know him still love him uh abby's aunt sheila was visiting us um for the american listener gowan was a canadian sort of a yeah but he was a canadian star in the 80s he was kind of like a i don't know he was a canadian canada's you know like peter gabriel or something yeah what is he is he? Is he Canada's? He can't be Canada's Peter Gabriel. He was like a sort of prog pop singer.

Yeah, I only really know Strange Animal. That's the only... And he's now, he's currently the lead singer of Styx. Oh, wow. Who is?

Are they coming to town? I don't have Styx's itinerary. But he, yeah, he had some hits in Canada in the 80s uh and when abby's aunt sheila was visiting she told me the story of in the 80s their uh hostess potato chips uh had these commercials with um for like you'd get rock stickers with your chips oh Like you'd open up your bag of chips and it'll be like, oh, yeah, we got some Genesis stickers or we got some Mr. Big stickers.

Genesis. Genesis was a thing in the 80s still. Yeah, that's true. Did you say Mr. Big? Was that the second example? Yeah. Oh, man. And Sheila told me about how her friend opened up a bag of chips

and had like four chips and 33 Gowan stickers. Oh, man. We got to get rid of these. We got to move these Gowan stickers. So crime shows. Yeah. And what else? It's been a while since we've seen you.

Yeah. Give the guy something to work with. There's a guy who recaps our shows in Spanish and gives them all five stars. Give him something to talk about. Give him something to talk about. Yeah, a little mystery to figure out. A murder mystery. I don't know.

I spent the whole summer finding out why I'm so tired all the time. What was it? I have adrenal know. Like I spent the whole summer finding out why I'm so tired all the time. What was it? I have adrenal fatigue. Oh, you. The thing is, you are so on top of your own health.

Like you're, you, you're like all about nutrition. You know everything there is about every food product. Yeah.

You're an investigator. And yet you're discovering more and more, what would you call them? Failures in the system? Failures in your own system. And I have got a warning from my doctor that I have the onset of type 2 diabetes. Well, then don't go to a doctor.

So I'm not allowed to eat any sugar. Ever again? Only fruits. Really? What about like, what if I gave you a sugar cane? I'm not allowed to eat any sugar. Ever again? Only fruits. Really? What about like, what if I gave you a sugar cane? I'm allergic to eggs, so I have to not eat them for 12 months. That's okay though. Eggs. I love eggs.

Oh yeah. Chocolate Easter eggs. Regular eggs. Caramel eggs. Yeah. I don't know how my insulin ended up being so wonky. You're allergic to gluten. Mm-hmm.

If like a gluten-free baked good had eggs in it, does it have eggs in it? Yeah. But can you have it if it's an egg that's baked into a thing? No. Like you can't just have like- I can't have eggs. No eggs. No eggs.

Wow. What would the alternative be? A raw egg? No. Like you can't just have like I can't have eggs. No eggs. No eggs. What would the alternative be? A raw egg? No, no. You know like because some people can't just have like

an egg for breakfast. An egg is an egg. Yeah, I guess an egg is an egg. No matter which way you crack it. Right guys? I don't understand this.

When did we stop talking about Gowan? No, it's what is tell us what adrenal I can imagine that I think is, tell us what adrenal, I can imagine that I think I have an idea

what adrenal fatigue is. This is like twice in two weeks when I've been shot down with my Gowan is Canada's Peter Gabriel theory.

Who sang the song that wild horses could not drive me? Gino Vanelli. Yeah, Gowan's Canada's Gino Vanelli. Gino Vanelli's Canadian.

I know. That was a joke I wanted to make but I couldn't remember Gino's Canada's Gino Vanelli. Gino Vanelli's Canadian. I know. That was a joke I wanted to make, but I couldn't remember Gino's first name. I was like, Gino Vanelli. Oh, I saw a poster yesterday on one of those poster pools for Yanni. Yeah. And I walked by it, and I just thought to myself, I was like, yeah, nobody's going to know. I just thought to myself, I was like, yeah, nobody's going to know. If I was with anybody younger than my age, they wouldn't get why that's funny, that it's a poster for Yanni.

He doesn't have the mustache anymore. Why is it funny? Because Yanni's hilarious, right? Remember Yanni live at the Acropolis? Hilarious. Did he ever work with Sam Fier? Did they do an album together? That feels like something they could have jammed on a thing Zamfir lived in a house

in Point Claire off the water and whenever we drive past his house my mother would say Zamfir lives here and then you could hear like

she listened to Zamfir all the time I don't know Zamfir he's a pan flutist pan flutist where's he from Canada I think he's from here

but I really don't know he could be lying about the house he's in the he's in the he's in the kind of like Kenny G Yannyverse

Yannyverse kind of John Tesh world Tesh world John is a futuristic part

John Tesh started as a reporter for he was a sports reporter and an entertainment

tonight host he was a sports reporter well he did like gymnastics. He was a sports reporter? Well, he did like gymnastics. He's like, but like seriously. Really?

Do people, do sports reporters specialize in sports? Obviously. Certain people do. Right. Of course. I knew that.

I'm trying to pump up the air on my bike. But he was friends with Yanni and he was like, Yanni And he was like Yanni encouraged him to get into Doing his own music Also Yanni was married to Mary Hart

Who was his co-host on Yanni was married to Mary Hart? Oh I thought he was married to the woman from Dynasty Connie Selica? Uh no That's who John Tesh is married to I don't know Wow

Huh Just let me google Yanni. I don't know. Wow. Huh. Just let me Google Yanni wives. I don't know anything. The real Yanni wives of the Acropolis. Remember, he had long hair and a mustache. Yeah. He doesn't have the mustache anymore. Oh, he's beautiful.

But he's still got the long hair. He looks like a yoga teacher. Yeah. I'm sure he eats really well, like natural foods. Yeah, yeah. Whole foods, whole grains. I think he probably works at Whole Foods. Ooh, they get 20% off. That's not bad.

But I think they only make like $12 an hour, so it's not very good. And the food there is very expensive. Yeah. What's the most expensive accidental meal you've purchased from their hot bar? Oh, boy. $14 probably. Oh, man. $33.

It goes by weight, right? Yeah. $33? Yeah, I donated blood one day and then went there. I was so hungry. And it came to $33. Yeah, you really can't say I don't want it because you've mixed together a bunch of things. I see a lot of people eating their stuff while they're in line.

Yeah. Oh, that's. Yeah, you're gaming in line. Yeah. Oh, that's, yeah, you're gaming the system. Yeah. I saw a guy eating blueberries out of a,

I was like, yeah, it was like gross, dude. And also that's, you know, just stealing blueberries. It is stealing. They had too many blueberries.

So, was he helping out? The hot bar at Whole Foods is a, it smells like a fart. Yeah. That was me. No, I don't think it was.

Just go around it tooting. But the other thing is pine nuts. Like anytime I've bought pine nuts there, which is once, the employees have been like, you know these are expensive, right? And I'm like, yeah, I know. And then I see how expensive they are and I act like I can afford that. And I buy them. And then I never buy pine nuts from there again. You take all of the money that's in your wallet.

There you go. Yeah, sure. Sure. They used to have papayas there that were, the staff didn't know that they were organic. And they were the only place in the city that had organic papayas, but they would think they were just the regular papayas. So they would come to like four or $5 for one. Yeah. And then there must've been some sort of meeting.

Sure. Yeah. And then that same papaya became $12.75, $14, $16. And they were just, and I had to buy them when I worked at the raw food place. And I had to have that kind or the boss would stab me. Yeah. With an organic knife. And they'd say, do you know that these are the organic ones?

And I'd say, yeah. Yeah, there's a few things that they set aside that they're like, do you know this is going to really fuck you up? Please don't yell at me. Do you think they get yelled at by women in yoga pants? Yes, I'm sure. People overreact all the time with cashiers. Yeah, it seems like a place that people would take out their... Garbage?

Yeah, their weird frustration. But like, whenever I walk in the door of that place, I'm like, oh, I'm going to spend too much on things today. Like, I could get this stuff cheaper elsewhere. I'm like, oh, I'm going to spend too much on things today. Like, this is, I could get this stuff cheaper elsewhere. I'm a fool. I buy very specific things there.

Yeah, baked goods. That's the only thing I've ever bought. Like, because any of the other stuff is so expensive. Right? Baked goods. Yeah, I buy like,

there's things that they have that are good prices. Like, this is getting boring. We should change the subject. No, I'm on board. I buy flowers because they have fair trade flowers. That's true.

And they're a really good price. What does that mean, fair trade flowers? Don't the flowers grow here? Some of them might, but if they're coming from like Ecuador. I didn't even think about that. Man. Let's keep talking about it. If they're coming from the books.

There was something. There was like somebody put an online post. It was like, here are the six places that you shouldn't shop at if you want to be ethical. And it's like there's already. You need to narrow it down. People put in an online post. Where did you see this? Oh, I read it on the online post.

in an online post. Where did you see this? Oh, I read it on the online post. You know, it was on Facebook and it was like, six companies you need to not involve yourself with. And they were, like, already, you know,

you already have kind of like, there's ones that you don't go to because you're like, ah, they're bad. I'm sure Walmart's mad, or like, Walmart's probably evil. I won't buy anything from Kraft. Yeah, bad. I'm sure Walmart's mad or like Walmart's probably evil. I won't buy anything from Kraft. Yeah.

Yeah. And then there was like, you know, Nestle was one of them. It's like if you followed all of those things, you would only be able to buy from like three places. And you'd be broke. Yeah. And you'd only be able to buy Hallmark cards. They're so expensive. Yeah. I know, right? But those songs they play sometimes. Yeah, and you'd only be able to buy Hallmark cards. They're so expensive. Yeah.

I know, right? But those songs they play sometimes. Yeah, they're fair trade songs. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, it's a jungle out there. Spence Diamonds was one of the ones. Yeah, they're really shitty.

Yeah, I didn't know that. I didn't know that. I didn't know that. That was the one that I was like, oh, yeah. I guess I'll have to buy my diamonds. It's a jungle out there. If you want to buy a blood diamond, where do you go then? Oh, monk. Where do you go to buy diamonds?

A blood diamond. Oh, where do you go to buy a blood diamond? Oh, you go to Spence. I think you can buy blood diamonds most anywhere. I think so. How do you get... How do you get... How do you get... Abby...

How do you solve a problem like Maria? When I proposed to Abby, I was like, I want this to be the bloodiest diamond. I want to see the blood. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I want it to be a red diamond. To my bloody Valentine, here's my blood Valentine diamond. Oh, damn it. The key in buying a blood diamond is don't ask any questions.

Yeah, that's true. You key in buying a blood diamond is don't ask any questions. Yeah, that's true. You'll probably get a blood diamond. Can you just get a diamond? And also, is it acceptable to make a wedding ring that doesn't have a diamond in it? Or is that just like crazy? Yeah, people have engagement rings that are not diamond. Yeah. They're not crazy? Yeah. People have engagement rings that are not diamond. Yeah. They're not nice.

Yeah. There you go. High five. What do they do? What do you do? Can you put like a rare, you know, a ruby? Yeah. Or a gravel.

You could use anything. There's definitely more ethical choices or you can sometimes I see people with tattoos a jelly belly oh tattoos yeah a jelly belly if I ever get married

I don't want an engagement ring but I want a really nice watch from Costco I'm just kidding I do want a watch but I don't want it from Costco

Costco has nice watches do they? they just don't have anyone they just have the most random selection of the $8,000 watch but I don't want it from Costco. Costco has nice watches. Do they? They just don't have anyone. They just have the most random selection of $8,000 watches. Don't want it. Yeah, if you got, like, what would you accept as an engagement outside of a ring or a watch? What about, like, if you were really into kayaking

and they buy you a new kayak? This is our engagement kayak. I don't know. Like, I don't want to joke about it because I This is our engagement kayak. I don't know. Like, I don't want to joke about it because I don't think it matters. You don't think it's going to happen? Because I don't think it's going to happen. Oh, boo. Yeah, no, I feel like the thing about a diamond is that it's, like, permanent.

The thing about a kayak is, oh. You can flip over and die. Yeah, or, like, a shark bit it. Imagine you got your partner a kayak and then they died in that kayak. Yeah, I can totally imagine it. But you know what? It was murder. I'm trying to finish my close photos so I can have some of that wine.

Hold on, guys. Hurry up. Yeah, there's people that do that, though. Hold on guys Hurry up Yeah The There's people that do that though They like give Yeah I don't know They're weird though maybe

What if you give somebody a fossil That's forever Oh sure yeah If you're marrying Nicolas Cage What did he Did he buy a dinosaur Yeah He like outbid

Leonardo DiCaprio For a dinosaur And then he went bankrupt. And he lost it. He went bankrupt? Maybe he lost it too. Maybe like someone knocked it over at a party. He doesn't have parties.

Nicolas Cage? I don't think so. I bet he has some pretty weird parties. Yeah, of course he has weird parties. Yeah, just by himself. Do you think that he doesn't have any friends? He works out at a regular gym. Because there's a flood of pictures on the internet

of people like taking pictures of him at the gym yeah but he's nicholas cage though you think he could afford that i saw a i don't work out at a gym um you just go there and take off your flip blouse and walk around the shower yeah that's true um uh There's apparently a documentary in the works about his failed Superman movie. Oh, I would love, love to see that. Because there were pictures. He is a fascinating character with his obsession with Elvis and... And Superman. He named his kid Kal-El.

Superman. Yeah, Super Kid. And then he grows up and he changes into Superman. Yeah. Super Kid has formally put in a petition to change his name to Superman.

If you say so. This isn't like the time you changed it to Super Teen. Abby and I are looking at baby names. We haven't seen Super Kid in any of the baby name books. Also, who buys baby name books? There's websites where you can find out the meanings of names. Or you can just narrow it down yourself.

What does your name mean? What does my name mean? David? Yeah. King. That's right. What does Alicia mean? Think the truthful one. King. Wow, that's right. What does Elysian mean? Uh, I think the truthful one.

Oh. Graham? Uh, host of the Grey House. Oh, that's right. It's so cool. It's like some weird thing. Gaelic. Yeah. That's cool. So, you know, it doesn't mean anything, really. Oh, okay, sure. Yeah. It doesn't mean Graham.

Host of the Grey House. Um, Dave, what's going on with you? Well, before we get to what's going on with me, we haven't recorded an episode Gray ham. This is the gray house. Dave, what's going on with you? Well, before we get to what's going on with me, we haven't recorded an episode in a few weeks because you've been out of town. We've banked a bunch, and we're about to start banking another bunch because we're on Baby Watch 2014. Yeah. Everybody strap in and keep your peepers peeled.

Yeah. But if in the coming weeks we miss a week, that's because I had a baby. Yeah, congratulations. Thanks. Puzzle tough. Now, a few things I want to mention before I get to what's going on with me.

A couple things going on with past guests of the show. Oh, yeah. Our past guest, Lachlan Patterson, made it to the finals of Last Comic Standing. Yeah, top four, top three. Top three. Top three. That was pretty great.

And you know what? I would say, because I only watched the one episode, the one, the final episode, and I think he had the set. Mm-hmm. But, you know. And exposed everyone to how

funny and handsome he is. I know, right? Although you couldn't quite tell how tall he is. He's very tall. He is very tall. Yeah, they didn't do any dunking contests. No, they didn't. That's how they finally decide. Another former guest, Kulap Vilaysak. She is working on

a documentary and it's called Origin Story. And it's about how she never met her father, and she didn't know her real father was her real father until she was a teenager. Wow, like Jack Nicholson. And then like 20 years later, she went to Laos and met him for the first time, and they filmed it all. And now she's raising money for a documentary to do post-production on that. Oh, cool. Look her up.

It's on Indiegogo. It's called Origin Story. And Vali's Act is spelled like it sounds. It's spelled like you've seen it a hundred times. Okay. A couple other things going on. We often talk about after the show you can go to MaximumFun.org to discuss the show and our Facebook group.

Now you can also go to Reddit. There's a Maximum Fun group on Reddit. No way. People are having fun there. Yeah, we're all the way there. I'm not very experienced with Reddit, but I'm learning more and more. And it's not just the, it's very large.

It's not just four mean guys. Four mean guys with fedoras. Although I did, I did a search of Reddit for our show and mostly it's people saying nice things, but there was one comment.

Like sometimes someone says something bad about you on the internet and you look them up later and you're like, oh, this person, this person's opinion is invalid. There was one guy who was like, oh, yeah, I tried to stop podcasting yourself.

But they just laugh too much at their own jokes. Well, nobody else will. We laugh at each other's jokes. Yeah. I'd laugh at my own jokes, to be honest. He was talking about an episode with me. Yeah, probably. But then I looked this guy up, or I clicked on his profile,

and all of his comments, other than the one about our show, were to a disc golf group. He was super interested in froth. Oh, wow. So I was like, your opinion is invalidated. They probably hate that word. And then, one other thing, a guy from Australia, I believe, created a Stop Podcasting Yourself database.

And it's crazy intensive. Yeah. It's every single episode, who the guest was. I can't remember what it is. There's all these categories. The segments we do. who the guest was. I can't remember what it is.

There's all these categories. The segments we do. Yeah, it's cross-referenced with what we ended up talking about. And it's incomplete, so I think he accepts submissions and suggestions. And is it spydb.me? .me. Yeah. All right. And it's got every episode and all the guests, and it was a lot of work.

So check that out. Okay. There we go. Good work. Good work, Dave. Get to know me, you guys. Not much going on with me. But, Graham, you and I used to work together at the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation.

We did. Yeah. Those were the days. Sometimes I would give you a ride. Yeah. And we would go into the, I parked across the street at the library. Yeah.

You'd sometimes have to go in the elevator, smell like pee. Yep. Well, that's one of the things I want to talk about. Because I used to park there, and they had i would i would walk up the stairs uh and then they started locking the stairs and so you could only take the elevator uh and they would lock the stairs from the outside like you could get it get to them from the parking lot but from the outside because i think homeless people were peeing in the stairs.

Yeah. And I would walk in. It wasn't just homeless people. Oh, sure. Yeah. Anyone, anyone using a library. Yeah, that's true. And the stairs would smell.

Anybody who needed to pee. The stairs would smell so much like a cleaning product. Yeah, that's right. That it made me think, oh, this, this is such an intense smell. There, there must be covering up pee. They must be covering up pee. They must be covering up the worst smells. And then, so they started locking it to the outside. And people just started peeing near the stairwell.

Oh, no. Into these porous, like there's these bricks on the ground. Yeah. I know. That just, they, once you pee on them, they smell like pee forever, apparently. Yeah. Because as soon as they locked the door to the stairs, it just became, the outside just became a pee show. My dad used to take me to the pee show.

My dad used to take me to the pee show. And then in the last few weeks, I guess because they can't clean up the pee, they've started, they've put like potted plants all around. Why don't they put a urinal there? The public demands that to be a place that they want to pee. Put a place that people can pee. Because they're just going to kill those plants with their pee. Well, the truth is there were no plants. It was just pots. And maybe they were growing stuff.

Never grew because it was just peed on. Like the plants. There were pots of dirt, which were basically urinals. Yeah, that's true. For two weeks, and then they got rid of them. Oh, man. This is interesting. Yeah, it must have been one of those short straw arrangements.

Whoever pulled the short straw had to get rid of the bee planters. So that was, those are gone. But my other favorite thing about that parking lot, do you know what it is? Yeah. Well, I remember my favorite thing was the punk rock. Yes! Yeah. The lady in the booth, in the ticket booth, that was a punk rock lady.

Well, she was sort of a, I think of her as a biker mama. Yeah, yeah. I think of her as a biker mama. Yeah, yeah. And, like, she wears tons of makeup, and she's super surly and super rude. She only works Mondays. I only see her on Mondays. Oh, and she hates Mondays.

Oh, no. She's the Garfield of biker chicks. Parking lot attendant. And she's about 50 and like wears a leather vest and uh yeah she's great and cyberpunk i would classify her as do her boobs hang low do they wobble to and fro you could tie them in a knot you could tie them in a bow because that's usually what goes on with a leather. You can swing them over your shoulder like a continental soldier. But, yeah.

So, and like, she doesn't say hello when you go out and there's, there's two booths that you can exit through. And, you know, if it's your turn, you have to go to this terrible lady. She's super mean to you.

And when you pay with a credit card, she doesn't give you a clipboard to sign your receipt. She just gives you your receipt and your pen and you have to sign it in your hand. Everyone else gives a clipboard. I don't know why. I think she just. Because she's punk. Yeah. That's what she subscribes.

Didn't she also wear, she had like crazy wristbands that had spikes on them and stuff. Yeah, like a carpal tunnel that's got spikes on it. That's the greatest when someone is like hardcore punk or really committed to a look, but then they have a knee brace. Like a beige knee brace. Yeah. But a few weeks ago, the parking lot moved to uniforms. Like all the employees at the Easy Park parking lot of the library now have to wear a black and orange Easy Park polo shirt. Oh, man.

Terrible color. She hates that. And it happened on a long weekend. And so there was no one working on the Monday. I only see her on Mondays. Yeah. So I was like, okay, next Monday, I better get that booth where I can drive by this lady. And the next Monday, I didn't.

The timing worked out that I had to take the other booth. How nuts. With just the polite young man. But then the week after that, I was waiting for two weeks. I was like, oh, God, I've got to see this biker mama in her polo shirt. And you know what? I got her once. Yeah.

She doesn't mind. She seems okay with it. Yeah. Yeah. She's wearing something underneath it. Yeah. Was she wearing her leather vest on top of it? No.

She's like, she's totally assimilated now. Yeah. Maybe she feels more relaxed. Do you think? Yeah. Like maybe she doesn't have to try so hard. Yeah. Oh, I'm not allowed to dress crazy.

They're forcing me to wear this. Oh, well. Yeah. Oh, I'm not allowed to dress crazy. They're forcing me to wear this. Oh, well. Yeah. Yeah. I'll just be a weekend warrior, you know? Yeah. Road warrior. Sure.

We don't need another. There was a lady that used to work at the Safeway by where I used to live, and she, like, everything but her uniform totally told you that she was like a part-time dominatrix. Like, her haircut and her makeup. Very part-time. And her nails. Not thriving. But she, you were like, you're into some kind of very alt scene.

Yeah. But, you know, it was just the uniform. That was everything else. Everything she could do that wasn't in the rule book. Did she have that thing, that necklace with the hoop on it? Like the choker? Yeah. Yeah.

So you can attach a leash. Oh, God. And then she had another guy in a uniform. We get it. Her bad boy was a gimp. I was thinking when she goes to see a client, she's like, do you want me to pick up some bananas? Yeah, sure. I got a store discount.

When she's bored whipping a guy, she's just thinking of all the different codes for walnuts. You know, bulk peanuts. That's his safe word is he has to remember what the code is for spinach. Yeah, that's pretty good. Anyways, punk lady, dominatrix lady. They got to put in their hour somewhere. Yeah, I mean, I guess there aren't too many jobs that call for you to be a punk lady or a biker mama. Tattoo artist. Mm-hmm.

Barmaid at Biker Bar. Sorry. Did you say tattoo artist yet? Yeah. Oh, receptionist at a funky hair salon? Well, because we do comedy. Yeah. And I'm like, oh, I wish I could find a job where I could just do comedy all the time and not necessarily do comedy.

Yeah. And also somewhere that I could wear my full leather outfit. Yeah, sure. outfit. But yeah, there aren't too many. I guess we didn't pick a vocation that requires a certain outfit. Well, that's...

I remember a while ago where did the guys that do rockabilly that have pompadours, where do they work? They, you know, restore 40s vehicles. Yeah, but that's

not a full-time gig. That's a passion at best. I feel like they work at gas stations. They did in the 50s. Yeah. All right. But, like,

where did, where, like, have you ever seen a guy, like, just work in a regular job that has, like, a crazy pompadour and sideburns?

You know, I'm not, I mean, nothing's coming up for me yeah yeah you put her on the spot yeah that's true talking about pompadour guys i mean morrissey yeah that's true you could be a morrissey what would morrissey do as a part-time job oh boy like if he had a day job he would groom pet groomer yeah head groomer he loves animals i don't know i figure you could have any kind of hairstyle if you were a pet groomer. You can have it.

Yeah. You can have any kind of hairstyle if you're a human groomer. Yeah, that's true. What if you have a business where you get rid of rodents? Then you can kind of look out for people. Oh, yeah. Like Billy the Exterminator. Yeah.

Yeah. You can be like a crazy. You can have all sorts of piercings and stuff. The guy that does the checks around our building for stuff is not like that. Is he an Orkin man? Yeah. Yeah, well, they're pretty. Yeah, they gotta wear the company polo. He doesn't like

to make chit-chat with me. What is he gonna say? Well, I found a snake in one of the traps. A snake? Yeah. What? Wait, do we live in the Amazon? I know. It was crazy. I was at my desk on Monday and I looked over and I thought, oh, someone put a toy snake in the... In the what? In the little sticky trap.

The sticky trap? On a brat. Yeah, and it was... Sticky trap? Oh, like a mouse trap. Yeah. Not like... You put like sticky notes. i thought that's honestly what

i thought you meant was the post-it note dispenser um and it was a snake yeah he just uh we work by the fraser river just across the street and it's not totally uncommon but he somehow found his way into the trap was near the door. Like a boa constrictor. Just a little garter snake. Like a python. Dave. And it was really sad. Yeah. It was pretty sad.

There's a guy who snake-a-lost his way. Yeah. It's not that sad. He got stuck. Well, that's how he died too. Oh, he died. Yeah. He died of sticky.

Yeah. Yeah, you can't unstick. That's sad. And you tried to talk to the Orcman man about it and he was like, I don't wantstick. That's sad. And you tried to talk to the Orc Man about it, and he was like, I don't want to. I'm seeing someone. It kind of felt like that, actually. I was like, hey, how about that snake?

He's like, I don't know. He didn't make eye contact with me. It was strange, just being friendly. Oh, that would be a weird job interview. Because they would ask you, like, why the extermination business? Yeah, where do you see yourself in five years oh killing mice yeah killing vermin you know who'd be good at uh one of them job interviews yosemite sam yeah that's because he calls them varmints he hated

varmints he really did uh graham what's up with you? I went on the road. I did road comedy. Oh, yeah, you're a road dog. Yeah, I was a real road dog the last couple weeks. I went to Calgary, and I did the club there. I did the laugh shop. Woo! Ow!

And then I went to Winnipeg and did Rumors Comedy Club. Do-do-do-do-do-do! And it was— I heard a rumor. You killed. Yeah, that's right. Word on the street. It was good. I like that.

That Winnipeg club. Winnipeg. Damn it. This story's in the toilet. Winnipeg. That would be funny if everyone there died of plague. Oh, yeah. That would be a good headline.

Yeah, when a plague broke out. That club's been there for 30 years, and it's got all the headshots from, you know, comics that played there 30 years ago. So, like, young Jerry Seinfeld and, like, Louis C.K. with hair. And so that was just the greatest. Moisture maker. Huh?

What? Really? What? Is Louis C.K. with hair? Is that a... Without hair. Yeah, no, but he was... Yeah, I think he's cute.

Yeah, that's fine. Okay. But you like him better with the idea of him with hair? No, I'm just making conversation. Fair enough. He didn't used to have a goatee. You're not making conversation. You said moisture maker and Graham said what and you said nothing.

You're making the opposite of conversation. I'm sorry. Anyway, so that was cool getting to see. I'm obsessed with old headshots. Do you have headshots? Yeah. Well, no, I don't. Well, no, I've got promo shots.

That you like email. Yeah. But you don't have printouts. No, but that used to be the thing that you'd have to like travel around with headshots and then you would sign them. And they're all signed with an inside joke that's the greatest from their weekend at the club yeah so it's like you know really you know really great service julia and you're like julia julia's dead julia died 30 years ago

this very night um yeah so that was i don't know it was cool it was cool to be at a club that's been around for that long and like all the uh would you ever consider getting promo shots from a guy who hasn't done promo shots in 30 years so they all he has all the old equipment they all look yes i would like that kind of thing he's's like, well, maybe, Graham, would you consider getting a mullet for this shot? That would be great to get a shot that looks like, and you just, every club you go to, you're like, oh, these are my old headshots.

Yeah, and they're like, you haven't aged in years. It should be you as a baby. These are my old headshots. And this is you as a baby. Yeah, this is when I was a baby model. That would be good too. No, but you're still a comedian. Like you've got your sleeves pushed up on your baby sport coat in front of a baby brick wall.

In a crib with a microphone. Yeah. Oh, man. There was one head shot I saw at a club i played at in seattle and the picture it's still my favorite headshot i've ever seen it was like a close-up of a guy's face and he had like a crazy mustache and he had two mr t dolls and he had switched he'd switched the heads of the mr t doll so the big head was on the small doll and the big head was on the small doll, and the small head was on the big doll. I was like, what is that guy's act?

Oh, man. So great. Have you ever, did you memorize the comedian's name, so if you ever see him again? I feel like it was like a Tommy or Timmy something. Probably Tommy. I don't see a lot of grown Timmies. So, yeah, I played this club and then I was...

How long? You were in Calgary for like a week? Mm-hmm. And then Winnipeg for three days or something? No, I was in Winnipeg for the long chunk. Oh, really? Yeah, I was in Calgary for a couple days. Where did you stay in Winnipeg?

Just a hotel? No, they put you in a condo. A comedy condo. A comedy condo. It was really nice. Oh, really? Yeah, I was in Calgary for a couple days. Where did you stay in Winnipeg? Just a hotel? No, they put you in a condo. A comedy condo. A comedy condo. It was really nice. Oh, okay. Yeah, it was like, because comedy condos have a pretty bad reputation. Yeah, yeah.

But this one was really nice, well, you know, well kept. But it was like across the street from a mall. So that's all I really saw of Winnipeg was the comedy club and the mall. Because it was air conditioned. Yeah. Yeah. It was hot? It was so hot.

The condo didn't have air conditioning? It did. Okay. But yeah, like it was so hot out. And if you talked to anybody. It was a spicy meatball. I think we got our signals crossed. Yeah.

Anybody that you talk to about how hot it was, they would just tell you you can't complain. And I was like, oh, I'm not from here. I can do whatever I want. I don't suffer through your terrible winters. I shouldn't have to suffer through your terrible summers. Yeah, they were like, oh, yeah, we had the worst winter ever. And I was like, yeah, but I wasn't here for that. So I just want to complain about what's horrible now.

But the town's great and everybody's like super friendly. Some people who listen to the podcast. Did you run into Winnipeg's own Randy Bachman? Yeah, Randy Bachman was there. Apparently he spends all his days playing VLTs. Oh, really? Like you can see him around town playing VLTs. But he doesn't live there.

He's a local. He's a regular. But he lives near here. I don't know. Are you thinking of Burton Cummings? Yeah, that's who I'm thinking of. Oh, okay. That is who I'm thinking of.

Yeah, not Randy Bachman. Do you guys think Burton Cummings is cool? Yeah. Yeah. He had a theater named Afternoon Winni Burton Cummings is cool? Yeah. Yeah. He had a theater named Afternoon Winnipeg but now it's changed his name.

That's got to be a hard thing to deal with. Yeah. For people who aren't from here Burton Cummings was the lead singer of the Guess Who.

He was all like American woman designs buzz rider. Just doing the guess who hits. Yeah, Burton Cummings is who hits. Dave's letting his rosé breathe by spinning it around. What?

Looks really cool, right? It does look really cool, Dave. Yeah, it's very haunting. It's like the opening of Hannibal. So you went to the mall every day? Yeah. I went and saw Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, the movie. How was it?

Very good. It was very good. Very good. It was, I don't know. I was the only adult besides adults that had kids there. So it's a movie for children. I find that hard to believe. There's a lot of grown dorkuses.

Yeah, but they weren't in the theater with me. It was just people with their kids. And, you know, it's weird because most of the movie doesn't have the turtles in it. It's kind of like, you know, the third Dark Knight movie where he's like only Batman for about ten minutes of the movie. Oh, right. The rest of the time the turtles are their secret identities. Yeah, they all work in the... Renaissance painters.

It's mostly about April O'Neil. Oh, is that Megan Fox? Her struggles as a reporter. Oh, really? Yeah, it's really boring. She's like, oh, my boss wants me to tweet? I thought this was serious journalism.

I felt bad for the kids in the theater during all the, like, explanation parts, because even I was like, nobody cares. Nobody cares. Oh, you know, how this idiot... The turtles came to be. Yeah, exactly, you know, or how this guy had, you know, he really wanted to exactly. You know, or how this guy had a,

you know, he really wanted to make a good thing, but now he's a bad guy and nobody cares. They just want to see turtles eating pizza, which only happens once

in the whole movie. What? Yeah. They only eat pizza one time. Is that in the final scene? That's not even an interesting thing about them. Everyone eats pizza.

It's delicious. It was cute when they did it, though. Yeah. They loved pizza so much. Yeah, so do I. But also. Where's my movie? The weird thing is, here's the weird thing about the movie.

In this movie, the turtles and Splinter all came from the same lab, right? Okay. And the turtles grow up to be like. But isn't Splinter older and wiser? That's exactly the thing. They were all the same age. And Splinter somehow grows up to be like a Chinese guy. And the rest of them end up like New York guys.

So why is Splinter... He wasn't a Chinese rat. Well, maybe. I went to the bathroom at one point. They might have explained that part of the movie, like why he suddenly was Chinese and the rest of them weren't. Anyways. But you would think he's their master. They would all have Chinese accents, right?

Because he's teaching them. Yeah. Anyways, it's a really difficult movie yeah it does it sounds complex yeah uh i should have seen guardians of the galaxy you should have seen that yeah abby saw that without me she assumed i didn't want to see it it's the hottest film of the summer it's not like i want to see it but she's not wrong but you know i i should see that yeah but you can see it, but she's not wrong, but you know, I should see that. Yeah, but you'll see it on Netflix. It'll be fine. It'll be the same.

Oh, it'll be fine. Someday. I just can't wait for Draft Day to come out. On DVD. Yeah. So that's what I did. I went and I had a good time in Winnipeg. Met Burton Cummings.

You did? At the VLTs? Yeah, at the VLTs. VLTs, video lottery terminals? Yeah, I bet him $5. He would lose on the next poll. He won big. Cost you $5.

Yeah, it cost me $5. But he got his grocery money, so he's happy. No, he doesn't need grocery money. He wrote American Woman. Oh, that's true. Do you think the royalties... It's the biggest. I mean, from the Lenny Kravitz version alone.

Ah, that's true. Heather Graham in that video, if I remember correctly. It was from Austin Powers 2. Yeah. Those were the days. But yeah, I met a bunch of people that listened to the podcast.

They were all super nice. Yeah. They all offered to show me around Winnipeg. I didn't take any of them up on that offer. Yeah. Very kind of them to offer. But,

What did they want to show you in Winnipeg? Ah, you know, Did you know that our provincial bird is a mosquito? They,

they, you know, there's, there's apparently great vegetarian restaurants in Winnipeg and I just, I didn't,

I just wanted to stay where it was cool, which was the condo or the mall or the club. It's hard to explain that to people about you. Yeah, that I want to live in a mall. That you hate summer. Yeah. It's not a fun time for a guy like me. A man of my girth. Don't give me that face. You're not girthy. You're my girth. Don't give me that face.

You're not girthy. You're not girthy. You hated summer before you had a little belly. Now you've got a little belly. You still hate summer. Anyway, so that's what's new with me, guys. We all really learned a lot about each other in this Get to Know Us segment.

Yeah. Do you want to move on to overheard? More than anything. I'm Biz. And I'm Teresa. And we host One Bad Mother, a comedy podcast about parenting. We say all the horrible things about having kids

so you don't have to. And you can come across as the magical vessel Pinterest Perfect Parent Society wants you to be. One Bad Mother. Because this is hard and nobody gives a s***. Check us out on iTunes and MaximumFun.org. What up, dawg? It's your boy Jasper Red, co-host of The Goose Down,

along with Kimberly Clark. And some of y'all might be asking yourself, what the hell is The Goose Down? It's a comforted food, and we want y'all to climb underneath it with us and snuggle up so we can find your ears and things. So come check us out at MaximumFun.org. Also available on iTunes. Chill. Overheard.

Welcome back, everybody. It's time for Overheard. Yeah, we usually. It's time for Overheard. Yeah, we usually just start with the word Overheard. But, you know, you're the boss. Yeah, and, you know, Overheard, it's much like it sounds. Reporting things you've overheard. We like to start with the guests. That's right.

Tobin, take us away. So, it's at 7-Eleven. Now, this is a store That is It's open from 7 in the morning To 11 at night Is that right? I think so

It's open 16 hours a day That's what they're famous for Yeah They're open 24 hours a day What? Why did you call us that? Right I just found that out

Yeah I thought they were open Only 7-11 They used to be Yeah That's how they got their name Yeah Do you know how the big

gulp got its name no it was just like like a really big drink and gulp is like kind of it's kind of the way you drink i guess uh do you want to know any more slurpee do you want to know how that came sure yeah it's uh it's not not slurpy. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. Let's see. What about taquitos? Do you want to know what taquitos?

Go ahead. They're like little tacos. Yeah. Are they? What about hot dogs? 7-Eleven hot dogs? Those don't have their own name, do they? What about 7-Eleven brand lotion?

Does 7-Eleven have 7-Eleven brand lotion? It's just that nacho cheese. It won't rub in. Oh, no, this isn't for human pores. What else does 7-Eleven make? Pizza. Yeah, they've really expanded the hot menu since I was a child. They really just wanted the store to smell bad.

They used to, 7-Eleven used to have like a chicken, sometimes they would have like a fried chicken thing. Yeah, they have like a, yeah. Like pieces of fried chicken? Yeah, yeah. Or chicken strips? I think it was called chicken on the go. Yeah, but they don't fry it on the site. It's frozen fried chicken that they...

Put in the rotator? Yeah, that they sit on. Sit on it and rotate. When you get a job interview at 7-Eleven, they take your temperature. Yeah. They're like, can you warm chicken? Can you sit on those and rotate? Sit and spin.

That's what they say. All right, you were at a 7-Eleven. Tell me more. And there are these kids giggling and giggling and giggling. How old? Seven. Oh, okay. Yeah.

Or 11. Seven. Well, the oldest one was about nine, but the one that did this was about seven. And she put a fudgesicle on the counter and she said, and she couldn't keep it together, how much for this poopsicle? Pretty great, kid. I laughed so hard. Yeah.

They just scanned it. Yeah. Told her. They put her up to it. It was a lot of lead up. She's not going to do it. She's not going to do it. Oh, she'll do it.

No, she's not. She wants to be a shark. I thought we were the Jets. Oh, no. Wait. When you're a Jet, you're a Jet all the way from your first poopsicle to your last dying day. How much is this poopsicle? I'm out of here.

How much is this poopsicle in the window? Dave, do you have an overheard? Mine is not really an overheard or really an overseen. What is it? It's just a thing I saw on TV. And they've been showing these ads during Jeopardy. For this new show coming this fall. And it's like, it looks local, but it is a national show that was, it's being executive produced by Judge Judy.

Oh my. No, don't talk about it. I talk about it because the best part is the name of it uh it's a show with three judges and there's on the on the 30 second commercial for it maybe even 15 second commercial it's a lot of fire there's a lot of like flames coming up. And it's this new courtroom show about these three judges instead of one judge. And they're all mean to the people in court. And then they go back to their chambers and they're all mean to each other. Whoa. It's three judges, three opinions, one verdict. The show, the name, I thought it was so funny.

Hot Bench. I didn't remember the name of the show. I just knew that it was three judges. I just think it's the dumbest name. It sounds like, why'd you get kicked out of the health club? Oh, I left a hot bench in the sauna. Oh, that's what bench warmers do. Oh, yeah. They left a hot bench in the sauna. Oh, that's what bench warmers do. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, they leave a hot bench. Why doesn't your true crime channel just have a lot of Judge Judy? Yeah, that's true. Yeah, there's no murders. No, very rare. I guess they're not crying so much as it's a small claim. That would be amazing if she oversaw a murder trial. All right.

Did you keep your receipts? That's all any of those courses are about. All of those. Judge Million. Judge Judy. Judge Wapnar. Yeah. It's all just like, let me see the receipts.

Oh, I didn't keep mine. I kept mine. Okay, you win. Yeah. That's true. That's a good lesson. That's why my raincoats are just full of receipts. Because I have to sue Home Depot.

Did you buy car wax and throw it away? I did. Graham, do you have an overheard? My overheard comes courtesy of where I was in line somewhere. I don't know. I can't remember where. Yeah, sure. Can I guess?

You were in a dissociative fugue. Yeah. Yeah. Alicia, guess where he was in line. Little Caesars. No, it wasn't at Little Caesars. Fair guess. They don't have lines there.

They're so fast with their five second pizzas. I guess they're $5 pizzas. It's just a piece of pepperoni off to the side. Five second pizza. Ding. It's ready. Get out. Or not.

Get out. Time's up. It was a boyfriend-girlfriend combo, and they decided not to buy the thing that they had brought up. The Little Caesars pizza? Yeah, whatever it was. Let's say, for the sake of argument, a Little Caesars pizza that they had brought up to the cashier.

I hope it wasn't a morning-after pill. Oh, no. Do you know, cashier. I hope it wasn't a morning after pill. Oh no. Do you know what? One time, totally unrelated, but I was, I was at the drug store near my place. Old people only.

It is an old people drug store. And one time I went in and I was like, what are these 19 year olds doing here? And I was behind them in line morning after pill. So I, I didn't want to cast judgments. What does the morning after pill cost? $30. Is it really?

I worked at a pharmacy, remember? Oh, yeah, that's right. Yeah. And do you, is it free if you go to a clinic? I think it may be. Hmm. But there's a lot of, like, there's a time frame, right? So.

72 hours. Yeah, and you have to talk to a guy who looks like your dad if you go to the clinic. Yeah, sure. So why do you need this? You actually, like, the pharmacist. Hey, buddy. Hey, tiger. Why are you too good to wear a rubber?

Yeah. So anyways, this couple, guy and girl, weren't going to buy the thing they decided to buy. And her justification was, I could buy a high-class pillow for that much money. What was it? I don't know. It was a morning after pill. Or a five-minute pizza. A high-class pillow.

Like a real uptown pillow. Yeah, like just one, though. That's her economics in her head. Yeah, maybe it's one of them corn husk pillows. Oh, yeah. With a nice Egyptian cotton cover. Well, the cover, that's something. That's

extra. Yeah. Well, she knows that. She knows high-class pillows. High-class pillows. We filled up our gas tank. That was like that. She knows high-class pillows. High-class pillows. We bought... Oh, we filled up our gas tank. That was like two and a half high-class pillows. Sometimes we'll buy... I'm not in charge of the pillow buying in this

house. I'm in charge of the pillow biting. But... Like every... Sometimes we'll get new pillows and I'll be like, oh, well, don't take my pillow. I'm worried that we'll get new pillows and I'll be like, oh, well, don't take my pillow. I'm worried that we'll swap out pillows. I ruin pillows like the day I get them.

Like I take off the cover and they're just soaked in sweat. Yeah. They're just like there's big, gross tiger stripe stains in the middle. Gross. Yeah. Don't you ruin pillows? Don't you ruin pillows? No.

I mean, I've had new pillows for a couple of months now and they're still white. Yeah. Pillows. Yeah. Don't your pillows? Don't you ruin pillows? No. I mean, I've had new pillows for a couple of months now and they're still white. Yeah. I don't think I've ever turned a pillow yellow for sweat. Oh, you got to. Well, I don't know if it's sweat or if it's the hair grease. Yeah. I'm a gross. I'm not even gross.

I think guys just sweat more. But there's, like, I'm not even a gross guy. You're not a gross guy at all. I usually fall asleep with a candied apple in my mouth. So that's why. That's why my pillows are so toffee colored. I don't use, like, a pomade or anything. No, you're not a rockabilly star.

Well, I'm not a star yet. I'm middling in the rockabilly scene. Yeah, if you keep playing that oversized bass you're going to do it though. Isn't that something? Yeah, sure. I'm Reverend Horton Heat over here. I would love to go to a

like a rockabilly bar and just hang out for just one night. Would you dress up? Yeah, absolutely. What would you wear? You don't have clothes like that. Yeah, I got some duds.

Honestly, jeans and a t-shirt can pass. Yeah, as long as you roll up a cigarette. Yeah, and roll up your jean cuffs. Yeah. Yeah, that's true. You're right. I'm very sorry. There used to be a janitor at our school that was very rockabilly.

We used to make fun of him. Oh, man. That's so awful. Mr. Patton. He's probably dead now. Guys, we also have overheards. We're over it. Overheards sent in from listeners.

If you want to send an overheard to us, you can send it in to SPY. Wait a minute. You're doing great. MaximumFun. No. No. SPY at MaximumFun.org. All right. You're like my mom trying to figure out a minute. You're doing great. Maximofun at... No. No. SBY at Maximofun.org. All right.

You're like my mom trying to figure out a computer. Yeah. My brain just really... Is that right? I think I said it backwards. This first one comes from Sean M. in Calgary, Alberta. Home of my birth. Home of... What was the comedy club?

The Laugh Shop? Yeah. Yeah. I was getting my hair cut today and overheard a hairdresser say this to the woman in the chair next to me. I like you with longer bangs. As I've gotten to know you better, I really like you with long bangs. That's a hairdresser who's not in the mood to cut bangs that day. Yeah.

What are long bangs? Is that what you have? Do you have long bangs? No. They would be longer and kind of go off, I think. I mean, you don't have short bangs. No. I have a full bang.

Short bangs are when you accidentally cut your own bangs too short. And you have to live with that for a while. Then you've got to join a roller derby team. You change your whole lifestyle. Because you cut your hair wrong. Because you cut gum in your bangs. This is who I am now. Yeah. I guess I'm going to get some tattoos

and join a roller derby league and buy some fancy frilly panties and do burlesque. It's going to be my whole life. I'm going to do a whole makeover. I'm also going to be a hula hoop person, person that has hula hoops. Oh, sure, yeah.

I'm going to look the poi lifestyle. Going to go on an all poi diet. Yeah, sure. Oh, boy, short bangs. Yeah. What a world. Short bangs really is. It's something else, man. It bangs. Yeah. What a world. Short bangs really is. It's something else, man.

It's a whole scene. This next one comes from Annabelle in Melbourne, Australia. Lots of listeners out there. Yeah. They're doing it. They got it. It's winter there right now, so they're holed up in their igloos. So I've been told.

This, this is a, it was an overheard in two parts, but I like the second part better than the first part. This is two young girls talking about cool names they want to give their kids. As a father to be. This is a letter. Let her rip. Yeah. Girl one, the thing about cool names is that the kid has to own it. You could name your kid Jagger and he could grow up to be annoying. Almost certainly.

Girl two, yeah, like if you named your kid Jagger, you'd have to buy him Vans and give him a Mohawk. Girl one, yeah, so he'd be expensive, but cool. Vans are $30. Also, Mohawk is free if you steal a Razor. That's a great overheard. That was, yeah, it had a little something for everybody. He's got to be skate punk. He's the most expensive lifestyle there is. yeah that's a great overheard that was yeah it had a little something for he's gotta be he's gotta be skate punk well he's the most expensive lifestyle there is

this is my kid jagger he just got off the van's warp tour also why if he's the only jagger i know is mick jagger Jagger. Not a guy who ever wears Vans or has a mohawk. Yeah, it's true. I honestly think that there are people who know the name Jagger from that song. Moves like Jagger. And have no idea that it has any reference to Mick Jagger. I can almost guarantee you that there's a generation of... I didn't know that that was about Mick Jagger

what? I'm kidding I once you know how whenever there's a hit song like there was that song Timber with oh no with Kesha and Pitbull

and Pitbull yeah and you could check YouTube if there were any versions any spoofs of it called Tinder. And there were a thousand. I did a thing when I was at CBC. I broke down my favorite 10 timber spoofs. And I once checked to see if there was,

there's a hockey player named Jaromir Jagr. And I checked to see if there were any moves like Yager. Yeah. There were two. There were two. There were only two? They were really bad, though. Like it was a guy singing into a laptop mic.

What? This is something that does fascinate me about the generation that's grown up with YouTube is what possesses somebody to sing like sing a thing and then record it and then put it on youtube because i can understand you know having like a microphone and like i want to hear what i sound like when i sing but not putting it on because you can just go and find like 12 year 12-year-old girl sings Lady Gaga. I don't know.

It's just that it's easier now. Yeah. It used to be you would have to send in your video to America's Funniest People, hosted by Tawny Katane and Dave Coulier. Who eventually, they started a little company called YouTube. Yep. Well, it wasn't Tawny Katane anymore. She was replaced by Daisy Fuentes, if I'm not mistaken wow tani katane she she had a lot of uh uh work done in the last years of her life

she's probably still alive right yeah probably um r.i.p uh this last one comes from audrey in minneapolis uh the power went out in our office today. The man sitting across from me was on a conference call at the time. The phone still worked. So the call was still going on. And that's when trying to get off the call, he said, I should go.

It's hard to hear in the dark. That is, I mean, it's distracting if nothing else that it's the the you can't check I guess you can check your cell phone yeah absolutely has there ever been a time that the lights have gone out somewhere

where people didn't scream as soon as the lights went out do you know what I mean like as soon as the lights go out somebody goes ahhh cause you can you can. You can just scream and be anonymous. No? No, I always go quiet to make sure it's not going to get murdered.

Yeah, you're really on murder watch these days. Yeah. You got to start watching more, you know, yeah, people's court. You don't have cable, do you? No, but I did when I was staying at this comedy con. And what was your life like? Oh! Was I did when I was staying at this comedy con. And what was your life like? Was it life-like?

It was life-like. I watched a lot of America's Got Talent. And America's Got Gladiators. You love that show. I love it. So bad. But you can't watch that. You're not going to download that.

It feels... You know what I mean? I'm binge-watching America's Got Gladiators. Like, you got, oh,. It feels, you know what I mean? I'm binge watching America's Got Gladiators. Like you got, oh, I watched that show. American Ninja Warrior? American Ninja Warrior. I guessed it. Yeah, that show is really dumb.

But it's perfect to just watch, you know, like as garbage television that just goes in your head and out the other side. What was that summer? What's our favorite summer show of all time? And let's say it on three. Well, I don't remember

what it was called. I know, but let's describe it on three. One, two, three. Things fall off an edge of a building. Oh, yeah. That's the one.

Yeah. It was hosted by a wrestler. A wrestler, yeah. What was that? We watched it. Yeah, yeah. It's stuff on a treadmill on a building? Yeah, and it was like stuff that you could

win and then you just saw dinettes that go off the side of the building. Crazy, crazy. Why isn't that on anymore? I don't know. It's so insulting. It's my favorite show. I also like that show. It was like building. I like that show

where you had to make the shape of the thing or it pushed you into taking water. That was pretty great. Yeah, it was based on a Japanese show. Yeah, it was super silly. Oh, where it's kind of like Wipeout, but it was just the wall that came out of it. Yeah, and you had to go into the shape of the thing or it would just push you. No one ever got it.

It was human Tetris. Someone would just manage to squeeze through. No one ever got it. It was human Tetris. Someone would just manage to squeeze through. No one ever got the shape. Uh-huh. But yeah, that American Ninja Warrior is this summer's that. Uh-huh. Yeah. Uh-huh.

Building garbage. Building fall down. In addition to our words that are written in, we also accept your phone calls. If you would like to call us, our phone number is 206-339-8328. Dave, Graham, rambunctious guests. This is Luke in Seattle. I'm calling with an overheard. It was said directly to me,

but it was too funny not to call it. My neighbor, this guy named Kent, who's in his mid-50s, but sort of talks like he's 13, and he's super into the Jackass movies and stuff, and he was telling me about his new Bose speaker system. And he said to me, oh, man, you know that movie Twister with the system? It's so pimp.

It's like Helen Hunt is going right through you. Thanks for the show. I remember that part of the movie where Helen Hunt blows through. Yeah. A barn.

It was through the camera. Where you see inside Helen Hunt. She's on acid. That was the original name of the movie, Inside Helen Hunt. What Helen Hunt wants.

Yeah. Isn't there a movie out this summer that's basically Twister? Yeah, Twister Alley it's called. Tornado Zone. Yeah, Tornado Zone. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I think that's all we want is to see through Helen Hunt.

Yeah. Oh, she was in that one movie where she was naked most of the time. Oh, yeah, where she was like not a prostitute but a sex writer. Yeah. A clinical sex worker. A sex technician. Is that a good movie? Yeah.

It's actually good. Yeah. Sounds good. What was it called? The Sessions? The Sessions. Tornado Ali. The Spin Zone.

Tornado Spin Zone. Do you want to know something? I just looked up that that show about the stuff falling off downfall yeah do you know how many episodes there were of it oh boy is it is it two digits no who was the host chris benoit uh it was chris jericho chris jericho yep um howoit's dead. Yep. How many episodes? Seven. Alicia was close with four. Five episodes. Oh!

It was originally, they ordered six episodes, only five were ever produced. The last episode fell off the roof. They packaged the tapes and they put them on the... Like a barrier belt and nobody bothered to try and save it. Five episodes. You know what that means? I probably saw every episode.

Yeah, yeah. You're kind of a downfall completist. Yep. Here's your next phone call. Also, I'd like to point out I would love it if we got more

female callers. I listened to 40 phone calls today. Oh, my gosh. All dudes? All dudes. Real sausage party. So, hey, if you're a lady and you call,

you've got great chances of getting on the show. Ah, good call. Hello, Dave and Graham and guest. This is William, a bumper from Texas. Hi, William. I've got an overheard for you. I was at the local Target, and I walked by a lady and her teenage daughter,

and the teenage daughter was saying, Mom, I can't believe you don't know the difference between literally and figuratively. And the mother looked at her and said, I do know I'm going to literally stab you if you don't shut up. Oh, my God. I don't even want to be figuratively stabbed.

Yeah. That's one for the people's court. Yeah. Is that Millian? Yeah. No, she's spicy. It's Judge Judy Millian, and then there's, what's the other one? Joe Brown?

Oh, Judge Joe Brown, yeah. I think there's even more. But I think he does a lot of divorce. That's so sad. Yeah. How much does divorce cost? If you're going to get divorced, woof. Woof! So many fingers you put up. Yeah, yeah. Pricey.

Divorces can be pricey or lucrative. Yeah, that's true. Depending where you're coming from. You can't just sign a paper and it's done. Have there's some sort of a filing. Yeah, you can. Yeah, you can just go and... But you still have to's like a some sort of a filing yeah you can yeah you can just go and but you still have to pay um you know you have to split everything up uh no you don't you could they have these civil divorce things what are they called nice divorces something like that

no it's just like annulments no but it's like it's like a divorce but you don't do the splitting up of things it's like a nice right like you just you know nice divorce

yeah you had the stereo so you take the stereo I had the you know house yeah I had the house yeah you get it at the

Canadian Broadcasting Corporation where I work when you file your hours you can do it now, but I used to have to go through and you could file, oh, this day was a parental leave. This day was, there's like 30 different kinds of leaves and if you get divorced, you get five days off. Really? So if you got married every week and divorced immediately, I think you get two days off for marriage

and five days off for divorce. That's, yeah. So, like, if you got married and divorced every seven days. You'd just be off all the time. Yeah. Just collecting that paycheck. Oh, man.

The system works. So many pairs of jogging pants. I know, right? That's why you need those days off. Oh pairs of jogging pants. I know, right? That's why you need those days off. Oh, these jogging pants remind me of my last divorce. Yeah. So I need to get new ones. And I need time to have a bachelor party, and I'm going to get married again.

What if you were just like a person who's, like, how many marriages are you allowed to have? Just unlimited? I don't know. Not even one. Really? Of course you're allowed to have? Just unlimited? I don't know. What do you... Not even one. Really? Of course you're allowed to have unlimited marriages. There's no time

when the court goes, okay, nope, you've done too many, you have to stick with this one. The court doesn't get involved. Really? Well, you mean, oh, they will stop you

from getting divorced? Yeah, yeah. No. Where the court will go like, no, no, you just, they're going to get married again, so you got to stick with this one. This sounds like

an Adam Sandler movie. Why does the last... Why are they stuck with you just because you keep getting divorced? Like, if I marry someone who's been divorced a thousand times, why do I have to then get stuck with them? Oh, because it's Judge Joe Brown's ruling. You can't fight it. I think before, if you were Catholic or, I don't know, religious, I think there were rules. You couldn't even get a divorce. Or if you got a divorce, you couldn't remarry if you were Catholic or, I don't know, religious. Yeah.

I think there were rules. Like, you couldn't even get a divorce. Or if you got a divorce, you couldn't remarry if you were. Well, isn't that why the Anglican Church was created? Maybe. Yeah, because of what's-his-name. So, Henry VIII could divorce as many people as he wanted? Yeah, but wasn't his thing to just, like, chop their heads off? Yeah.

Like, he was, he had a way out. He found a loophole. That's why they called him the Funky King. King Henry the Funky. Here's your final overheard of 2014. King Henry, the lover of love. He loved love. Oh, boy.

There's no crime in that. Hey, Dave, Graham, and guests. This is Derek from Nashville calling in with an overseen. I was driving just now Through a sort of residential neighborhood And I could see from a distance There was a girl running, or a woman I thought Running, and she just kind of Leaned over

And as I was driving by I was like Can I check out this girl, and I was wondering what she was doing Leaning over, and right as I pulled beside her Looking at her, she threw up on her shoes Well yeah, we could have seen that coming soon leaning over. And right as I pulled beside her, looking at her, she threw up on her shoes. Well, yeah, we could have seen that coming. What? You saw it coming? Yeah. I didn't. She's running and all of a sudden she leans over. He's like, I'm gonna

check her out. She's gonna barf. What if she saw Penny picking up all the day long? So he pulls his car over? Well, that's a bit weird. Did he say he pulled over? Yeah. Wasn't he going to check out her butt?

Yeah, he's just going to drive by. Yeah. Just being friendly. Just honking at her butt. Just being neighborly. I hope she's okay. Well, of course she's okay. She's in great shape.

Yeah. She's in the best shape she can be every time she runs. I didn't used to barf when I run. I didn't used to barf when I run. But lately I've been barfing more than I would regularly do. From running or just from? Just life. What?

I think it's, you know, you go on the road, you eat a lot of garbage stuff. And then your body's like, no more. Is it alcohol? No. No, I don't drink. I don't drink that much. I just drink beer. And then you can only drink like so many beers before you feel like you've just eaten a loaf of bread. And you need to go to bed.

Yeah, I don't know. Maybe you should go see a doctor about that. Okay, all right. Yeah, you knew that if you brought it up again that I would brought it up. How come there's no Canadian judge show? What do you mean? Because we don't care. Like Judge Judy.

How come we don't have a Canadian? Oh, yeah. I thought you meant like a Canada's Got Talent. They would have to wear the whole, the wig and the robes. Oh, that's probably why. No one wants that. It's too silly. Yeah, it's bad to look at.

What's that show, Murdoch Mysteries? That's our judge show. Have you ever seen the British Law and Order where they have to wear the wigs and robes and stuff? Yeah. That's dumb. Yeah, nobody likes it.

Wait, no, your laws don't count. Yeah, it's really, that's a thing that needs to go, that's not a tradition that anybody thinks is good to keep around the wigs.

That's very silly. Do they have to wear that in Parliament and stuff? No, they don't. No, no. But they do have to wear it in court. They have to wear crazy wigs. I'm just now picturing.

Women have to wear the wigs too, right? It's not just men to the women. Well, the bald women. Yeah. Or balding. Yeah. Right. Sinead O'Connor.

Right. Let's see. Oh, boy. I wish I could name more than zero. Yeah. Is there any famous woman that had male pattern balding? Very few, I guess. No, because it's a, the system is against them. Like, women are judged for their look, and it's not fair.

It's not fair. And also, you know, yeah, women are judged on their hair, you know? What size of bangs do they have dictates their whole life rapunzel rapunzel tangled up in this uh that would be very funny twist to rapunzel if like the guy got up and rapunzel just oh, no, you're bald on top. Oh, boy. Yeah. It was just long on the sides.

Like, I'll cook. It was just a rat tail. Yeah. Just a long dread. And he couldn't get a grip because it was so greasy. Oh. What? Greasy.

You're going to ruin a pillow, Rapunzel. Yeah. Now, Alicia, this brings us to the end of this year's show. Unfortunately. What would you like to plug? What would you... If you were alive today. Yeah.

Your show. Yep. Once a month. Once a month, but there's none in August. But there's one in September. And it's the Welcome Back Andy Kallstrom Show. He's coming back from London. Jane Stanton, last week's guest, will be on it.

Ross Dock and Andrew McLaughlin. When, what date is that? August 26th. August 26th. So there's not one in August? No. But it's August 26th? Yeah, it's September 26th.

Okay, thank you. Yeah, sorry guys. So here's what that show is. Alicia will give the audience a topic. She will distribute pens and paper. Markers. Mark pens and paper. Markers. Markers and paper. And everyone will draw what comes to mind.

Then Alicia will take all of the drawings and make fun of them. Or point out the things that are great about them. Yeah, she'll just find the good in everything. And then there's comedians. Yep, it's great. Please come. Yeah, it's a super fun show. Do you have a musician for that show?

I don't think so. Okay, do you want me to come by? I would love that. From Beatbox? Yeah, get some of David's famous beatboxing. Here it goes. Cyberpunk remix. Gotta throw away this microphone

Do we have anything we need to plug? I mean, we already plugged all those things Yeah, I mean You know I mean, there's probably still tickets available to our show at the Biltmore on October 2nd People don't even know if the world's gonna still be around in October I know, that's probably Look, I spoke to the organizer.

Not many tickets available. No. Five or six. Yeah. But you can have them for the low price of $19. Yeah. And it'll be a great show. Do you need to plug anything?

Nope. But, you know, if you like the show, go over to MaximumFun.org. Check out the blog recap, pictures and videos relating to the content of this podcast. I mean, what was the stuff we talked about right off the top? Boo! That was a long time ago. Yeah. Yeah.

Anyway, eventually we got to Gowan. We'll put whatever the Gowan song I said, Criminal Mind. Criminal Mind. Yeah. We'll put whatever the Gowan song I sent, Criminal Mind. Criminal Mind. Yeah. We'll put some pictures of Burton Cummings up.

Yeah. Oh, man. Yeah. Like one of those pictures where it's a bunch of little pictures that makes a big picture of Burton Cummings. Oh, mosaic. Burton Cummings mosaic. Yeah. And if you like the show, please do tell your friends and come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself.