Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 347 - Dino Archie

Episode Date: November 10, 2014

Dino Archie returns to talk weak mafia, Fresh Prince, and horn repairs.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 347 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who's creepy and kooky, mysterious and spooky. Altogether, ooky? Yeah.

Dave Shumka. It's funny the Addams Family theme song. Uh-huh. Because, you know, there's enough words that rhyme with ooky. Yeah. Spooky. Hmm. I guess it is. Because, you know, there's enough words that rhyme with ooky. Yeah. Spooky. I guess it was good. Yeah, yeah.

Why would they go with that? Because it worked. Yeah, and it was the 60s, you know, and it was just like, yeah, just anything. They were one-take wonders back then. We are recording this on Halloween. Oh, it's so spooky. But it won't be released until like November 10th.

Oh, wow. Yeah, we're way ahead of schedule. A solemn remembrance day. Yes. Yeah. Lest we forget. Yeah. It is the spookiest holiday followed by the most solemn holiday. Mm-hmm.

Followed by the most spendiest holiday. Black Friday? Yeah. Well. Sorry, African American Friday. There you go. Our guest today, returning guest to the show, very funny comedian, just wrapped up kind of an all over, you'll tell us all about it,

all over the States tour. That sounds like such an assignment. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You'll tell us the whole thing. You'll tell us all about the tour. And then we went to Chattanooga. That was nice. Did you really go to Chattanooga? No, yeah, yeah. You'll toast the whole thing. You'll toast all about the tour. And I was like, and then we went to Chattanooga. That was nice. Did you really go to Chattanooga?

No, I didn't. Mr. Dino Archie is our guest. Yeah, yeah. I want to say how you doing, but this is a podcast. You know, right? It's a podcast. We're doing all right. Yeah, you can say how we're doing.

How are you guys doing? We're fine. Oh, you want to say it to the audience? I didn't know. I got confused there. The audience is good. What are the audience? How does the audience usually respond to that?

Woo? Yeah, woo. Make some noise, ladies. Ow. Single ladies, make some noise. Yeah, yeah, yeah. got confused there. The audience is good. What are the audience? How does the audience usually respond to that? Woo? Yeah. Woo. Make some noise, ladies. Ow. If single ladies make some noise. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, where are my single ladies at? Where are they at? Yeah, and... What about ladies who are... It's complicated. Yeah.

Yeah, and... Ladies who are in a relationship, but, you know, he's being weird. He hasn't texted in a couple days. Yeah, like,

you're not here with him tonight. I didn't think I was single, but he's being weird. He hasn't texted in a couple days. Yeah, like you're not here with him tonight. I didn't think I was single, but maybe I am. Those ladies, where are they at? Yeah, where are they at? Yeah. Should we get to know us? Sure.

Get to know us. Do you know? Yes. You were just, you were, like, you were, when did you take off from Vancouver? So I left September, like the first week of September, and I just came back in town yesterday. Wow. So yeah, it was pretty much I opened up for a bunch of guys that were a bunch of awesome comedians. Yeah.

And it just happened randomly. People would just hit me up like, come open for me, come over for me. So I called it, everyone had their own tour, but I called mine a humble beginnings tour. Right. So I was calling it that, or I ain't shit yet tour. I mean, one can be, you know, one's for the whole family. Right, right, right. It was a late show. Yeah, I got to do some cool things.

Late show. Right. Yeah, I got to do some cool things. I got to work with, in Vancouver, Reggie Watts. And then I did open for Chris D'Elia. And he launched his tour, and that was amazing. That was on the East Coast. And I never played New York.

I never played New York, New Jersey. Before this tour. Before this tour. Oh, cool. But in my head, I always just pictured the roughest crowds. The picture in my head was ridiculous. Like people with crowbars in the front row. The mafia.

The mafia. I pictured classic American Italian gangsters in the crowd. Like all good fellas. I'm like, why the hell would they go to an alt room? You know what I mean? Yeah. And sit in the front row. Hey, I'm like, why would the hell would they go to an alt room? You know what I mean? Yeah. And sit in the front row. Hey, I'm on a date here.

Tell more jokes about, you know, current stuff. Orange is the new black. Hey, more goofs, less spoofs. That just,

yeah, it was ridiculous. What were the crowds like they were good man the crowds were the crowds were on it they were cool New York was

was fantastic now New Jersey we did the Boardwalk Empire we performed on Boardwalk on the outside

you wore 20s clothes yeah it was great man we did the Borgata this casino You wore 20s clothes. Yeah, it was great, man. When we did the Borgata, this casino. Is that in Atlantic City? That's in Atlantic City. So even that place in my head, I didn't know what to expect.

I don't know. I would assume a lot of old people would be at a boardwalk casino. It's old people, but then it's a commuter thing where people from Philly come in and then from New Jersey. So it's like you get a lot of Jersey Shore-ish looking people. Right. I don't know how to say that. I try to.

They all had abs. Yeah, yeah. They all had nice tans, abs. But they were great, man. But the funniest thing is when I, because it was just cold open i would just walk out they would go dino you know and i walk out like what was that i walk out and then like it was like i was like yeah all right jersey and then

the right like late this guy walks in a big shot he was the he was a like oh like a real real like goon like a real like hey yeah hey it was this guy i'm a big shot you know he was a big shot right whatever big shot looks like that was him lighting a cigar with a i want to say a 20 but you know in this economy yeah that's true uh and he was an audience member yeah he so he came in and he had seats in the front row with him and his wife and you know he was just he was just like, yeah, I'm the show right now. And I was like, yeah, man. Well, go fuck your mother. Like, I just like, I said that.

And then they go, yeah. I was like, really? That's exactly what we wanted. It was stupid. Because I was watching Real Housewives of New Jersey. And that's the opposite, opposite like reaction to that statement when someone was accused of having sex with their own mother oh wait no they were accused of having sex with someone else's mother uh anyway no no yeah you tell them to fuck their own mother yeah

oh that's that's not i when i said it it was good i don't know how yeah well you really like it's like the story about like wasn wasn't it Don Rickles? He was on stage and Frank Sinatra came in and did that kind of thing. Like took total attention away from Don Rickles and Don Rickles said, hey, Frank, make yourself at home. Punch somebody. And Frank thought that was hilarious. Yeah. So maybe it was that.

Maybe you took down. Was it Frank Sinatra? Well, yeah. Frank Sinatra Jr. yeah Frank Sinatra Jr. maybe Oh yeah Frank Sinatra Jr. seems older than his dad Yeah All the time

Was he kidnapped? Yeah he was the one I think he was the one who was kidnapped Oh okay Yeah and there was like You know there's a story that he maybe was going to call the mob to help him out And then he was returned. Yeah.

Did they like, Ooh, we didn't realize who you were when we kidnapped you. We just thought you were a cool kid. Yeah. Oh no. Your dad's old blue eyes. We thought,

but the more, the more I'm fascinated with the mob and gangster stuff, but the more like the mob used to be really dope. And then like in the 80s in the 90s it's like there was this documentary 30 for 30 uh on the espn and it was about the mafia fixing college basketball game oh yeah yeah yeah oh man and i was like oh this is gonna be juicy and then like how they mastermind this scheme and pretty much this is how they the gist of it was like they'd send a guy you know a good fella and another goon and they talked to a college kid and they were like

and the college kid's like i don't really want to do this and he'd be like oh yeah okay that's no problem but how hard do you think it'll be to shoot free throws at the bottom of the ocean you didn't want to give him A hypothetical question Like oh boy Very hard That'd be impossible Illegal Yeah I don't think I could do that I wouldn't count on My team to dress me

Yeah Like coach Come on I'm dead Yeah But they They would never say They would never say

A direct threat They would just say A thing And the kid And the guys A grown man now And they're like so did they ever

he goes no he never directly said anything but he would just a lot of hints yeah a lot of hints he'd ask me

a lot of questions how easy do you think it would be to do a layup if you had peanut butter in your shoes I don't know maybe a little uncomfortable

but I can still do it it would be squishier the guy's just writing it for a book like of hypothetical basketball situations well okay he says he could do it okay Squishy, it would be squishier. The guy's just writing it for a book like of hypothetical basketball situations. Well, okay,

he says he could do it. Okay, let's see. Yes, so then I'm wondering like, I was like, oh man, something's bad gonna happen

because the guy, he's like, I'm tired of doing this, I'm out. And the big game was happening and all the money was on the line. Right.

So he fouled himself out the game so he couldn't be implicated. Oh, that's smart. And they lose. The mafia loses the money. And I was like, ooh, heads are going to roll. Cement blocks on the shoes.

Yeah, yeah. You know, thumb breakers are going to come around. All the bad guy shit. And then they interview these old gangsters who were part of it. And they go, go yeah you know so once that happened it was like ah finito

finished done I was like who was what happened he goes we just stopped we just

they called our blood they just stopped they just stopped bothering the kids and that was the end of the mafia we just folded up shop and opened a bunch

of string of delis and at our heart we're pacifists. But, you know, we like to throw our weight around. Yeah. I think we like talking tough more than we like actually hurting people. Yeah, no. Now, was that from the classy era?

No, that was from, like, 80s. Yeah. 1980s. So when is the good mafia era? I think the boardwalk. The Bugsy. The boardwalk and Bugsy, yeah. Because when is the good mafia area? I think the boardwalk. The Bugsy. The boardwalk and Bugsy. Yeah.

Because when they actually provided a service they're like all right you know you squares do this but we got Vegas. This is what we're bringing.

Right. You know we know you're nasty. We know you like to drink and gamble. Right. We know you like women and vices and

all sorts of nasty See the way you're saying it. Right. You see how sexy that is Yeah But the guy in the 80s is just like

giant cell phone etc Let's put more baby formula in this cocaine I don't know I'm cutting costs here Yeah there's a weird

like Frank or not Al Capone was like he was like Were you going to, Frank, or not, Al Capone was, like, he was, like. Were you going to say Frank Stallone? Yeah, Frank Stallone. He's still in the mafia, right?

Frank Stallone's vault. Al Capone was, like, the guy who, he lobbied the government to have expiration dates on dairy things. to have expiration dates on dairy things because the kids were getting sick from drinking, like, expired, like, way old milk stuff. Yeah. And so, like, that was, I don't, I would have a hard time believing, like, a modern-day mafia guy would do something like that.

Yeah, exactly. You know, like, community-building projects. Yeah, totally, man. Like, that's, like community building projects. Totally, man. I follow that stuff. Back then, pretty much America only had rules just came around like a hundred years. You know what I mean? Like 90 or 80 years ago. There were still things that weren't rules.

That's true. Yeah. Like Kennedy, Joe Kennedy. Yeah. He was a bootlegger, but he just did it legally. And then he was manipulating the stock market, but there was no SEC. He created

it. Right. He was like, you know what I mean? Wait, weren't the SEC, was that where they were doing the fixing the basketball games? It's all connected, man. You see how it all comes full circle? Yeah, anyways. Yeah, I want to be a mafia man.

Yeah. We should start our own mafia. You guys do. I remember last year I told you. You guys are the main street mafia. To me. You guys are. Yeah.

When I didn't ever, I didn't know you. You just knew. You're just a shadow. Your presence. Like Kaiser Soze. A whisper. A boogeyman you told your kids about. Like in the old days, it used to be, yeah, it would be like if you went into a neighborhood,

like would you have to give the Godfather guy a gift or something? Oh, a kiss. That's right. On the mouth. You broke my heart. Oh, man. That dude Fredo too.

What is it? Fredo or Frodo? It's Frodo. Frodo. It's Greedo. Frodo. I'm a big movie buff guy. Yeah.

When he drops when Frodo is with Don Corleone he's like you got really big feet there put some shoes on Frodo you remember my daughter's wedding and when he

and when he drops the gun remember that he goes papa you know when they shoot Godfather do you remember that oh yeah yeah yeah papa. You know when they shoot Godfather? Do you remember that? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That Frodo, the way he dropped it.

Oh, you can't teach that kind of, you know what I mean? Like, I pay attention to stuff like that. Like, the way a guy falls, I'll go, bullshit. You'll be like, that's not a real fall? Oh, the way he flubbed the gun. Like, because the gangsters, they shoot Don Corleone. Then he goes, and he falls and he goes, bye-bye. He wasn't great at much.

That's what made him so good. Yeah. To be that bad on screen, like, to make you believe he's just a nincompoop and just. He also had the haircut of a nincompoop. Like, it was a It was, like, way back, far in his head and slicked back. He died... The actor... Yeah. He died very young, didn't he?

He did, but he was... Yeah, I think so. And he was in... Dog Day Afternoon? Was he in that as well? I think so. Yeah, he was in The Conversation with Gene Hackman, which was... He was, like, respected amongst his peers, you know, as a real dude.

Yeah. And I'd like to see somebody convince you that they're a loser like that on screen. That takes some real vulnerability, some real chops. Who were his peers? There was Samwise, Ganji. There was Bilbo. Yeah. The blonde.

Yep. The beautiful haired guy. I don't know how your crowd feels about this. I don't know if they're... They're against it. But they're still doing Hobbit movies. Yeah. Yeah, that's true.

Isn't that fucking crazy? Are you? Like, I was in LA. They got posters for every day. They go, Hobbit. There's one more one. We still here. Like, what's the tagline? Hobbit. Still here. Well, the first one was just to go Hobbit there's one more one we still here like what's what's the tagline

Hobbit still here well the first one was just like Hobbit breakfast then after was the desolation

of smog smog yeah and I don't know what this one is is this the last one yeah I think so but they did an ad

there was an ad on TV for the DVD of the last one that's just coming out and it was like 25 more minutes of DVD of the last one that's coming out. And I was like, 25 more minutes of material of the middle part of this one book. Yeah, that's Peter Jackson's, like, I don't know what he's

what he's like. Think about all the shit that people have offered him. Like, hey, can you come do this project? That's a really cool project. He's like, nah, man, I got another. Yeah, I'm on my ninth. I have to slow down this book. This book is going too fast.

Wouldn't you just get sick of it after making the same movie? I don't know. He's from New Zealand. They pay him billions of dollars. And, you know, he just like... I don't know. Like, have you seen anything else that he's made? That's a good point.

He did King Kong. Yeah. He did the King Kong feature. Yeah. And then he did that crazy one with puppets. The Frighteners? Oh, yeah. He did the Frighteners.

What was the puppet one? It was called, like, Meet the Siebels or something like that. Meet the Fockers. Yeah. We did or something like that. Meet the Fockers. Yeah, we did the fall puppet version of Meet the Fockers. Of the second of the Meet the Parents movie. He just keeps making people's movies a bunch of times. He goes, no, there's more juice there. Yeah, yeah.

25 more extra minutes of Robert De Niro saying fuck it. I'm going to Google this Peter Jackson fellow. It was supposed to be a send up of the Muppets and it was these Oh, it's his birthday today. Oh, what? Really? Happy birthday, PJ. Have a very scary birthday. No disrespect, man. I just want to see you

shine. I just want to see you happy. Have you seen The Frightenerseners no that's good okay yeah that's no no doubt he's he's a you know i'll just think that that movie bird man have you heard of it have you seen it well i haven't seen it but i've heard of it it kind of has that concept of like you know popularity versus being cut a gauge right that's my way i interpreted it yeah yeah yeah and it's. And it's... It's... Yeah, I mean, yeah. Like, he probably, when the Lord of the Rings, he was probably done with it then.

And then they were like, one of the three? Meet the Feebles? Yeah, yeah, that's it. He made that in 1989. How have you heard of this movie? I've seen it. They used to show it once, like, once a year on,

maybe this time of year, on showcase and it was like these weird scary puppets you know what he did try to get out of it um but who guy ermo who's that del toro who's no right there you got the name is that it yeah yeah i was thinking but but guy ermo del toro he backed out of it Oh right Cause he's like Fucking I don't wanna spend 20 years doing this shit Right And so then

Yeah so Peter's like Oh fuck He's like Oh I was gonna make Another King Kong He made Kong comes back Prequel

Prequel to King Kong He made The Lovely Bones Oh The Lovely Bones Yeah I remember that He made Heavenly Creatures In the 90's With Kate Winslet Kate Wins Yeah, I remember that. He made Heavenly Creatures in the 90s. With Kate Winslet. Kate Winslet.

Yeah, I remember that. Okay. And that was about it. I mean, other things, but they're mostly video games. He's directed a lot of video games. Wow. Well, you know, he keeps busy and he seems happy. Well, yeah.

Look, he's happy. We're happy. Like, I'm happy I don't have to see these movies. Yeah, he's happy. We're happy. Like, I'm happy I don't have to see these movies. Yeah, that's true. There's no law in place that says we have to. Yeah, I'm not in New Zealand where there is a law. Mandatory viewing. So on your tour, you went to a bunch of cities you've never been to.

Any highlights? I heard good things about Chattanooga. Yeah, did you go to Chattanooga um the i all all the cities were great uh denver was the biggest that was a sleeper city for me did you think it was going to be the worst not the worst i just didn't i didn't think you know they would turn up as much as they do okay they they have no chill button in Denver. Really? No chill. I thought, isn't that where John Denver's from? I don't know where John Denver's from. Yeah. I know he's a country boy.

He's from West Virginia. All right. West Virginia. Oh, yeah. Is he from West Virginia? I know there's a song. He did have that Rocky Mountain high. All right.

I'm looking at it. Oh, it's his birthday. He's from Wellington, New Zealand. Ah, there we go. Yeah, no, Denver was cool, man, because it's like, it's a really clean city. It reminds me of Vancouver. Right. Yeah, really clean city.

And then the whole, in the't make it doesn't matter here but in the states it's one of the only cities that's uh like weed is like technically oh yeah that's right like it's it's completely legal there right it is but see this is the thing that make this is the thing it's legal to own it but not to smoke yeah so it's some weird it feels like a weird ass uh you know sting undercover sting operate because because like it feels like sting is there yeah yeah so yeah we get out of the movie of the birdman sorry my head is fucked up i'm like thinking about retiring because the movie's so good the movie was just good so i'm already in. Why would you retire because you enjoyed a movie? I don't know.

It's just, you got to see it, man. It affected you. It affected me. They touched me differently. All right. Yep. Carry on.

We'll table that. No, but we go to get, I've never even bought weed. Like just having not bought it and I walked into the medical dispensary and there's a guy standing there and it's like eight people there and it's small and and it's me my buddy where they're just like can we go in and he has a gun he goes sure sure you can but he's in the way

and i was like i don't trust this you know what i mean like this is where he goes no no right this way and you don't need a card or anything you don't need a card and i was like man my phone's about to die do you got a phone charger and he he's like, what, what, five or four? iPhone five or four? I go, five. He goes, right here. And he pulled it out of his pocket. Weird.

That's weird. They were just so nice. And so did it seem like pharmaceutical at all? Or did it just seem like some dude's house? No, that was a legit place. But then when we get it, we're like, can we just smoke this now? They go, yeah, but just kind of go down the street a little bit.

Yeah, we don't want anyone to know that there's drugs here. Yeah! Is this shit, is this legal or not? Like, no one will really give us a straight answer. Because I thought it was the first place that... Washington State is like that as well yeah

it's right next to us and i don't know i haven't heard any stories of people like i don't even know what the laws are here to be perfect like i don't because because you're just high all the time yeah i'm just yeah and i love it uh but you know there's all these dispensaries and they say they say that it's like for you know they list medical problems that you might have. But it also seems like anybody can open a dispensary because the one that opened up in my old neighborhood just before I moved, I saw the guys, and I was like, these are just a bunch of dudes. This is not, you know, they're not medical professionals. These are dudes who are like, oh, we got a space for rent. My uncle owns this place.

Let's sell drugs. That we already have. Yeah, man. Yeah, we got the weed and then we smoked it. And we walked all the way through Denver and there was no bad neighborhoods, which is weird. Yeah, like go smoke in the bad neighborhood.

Don't tell them. Yeah, everything was great and we're walking and then we realized we've been walking for an hour and we probably went maybe a block. We've been walking just around the block and we've been walking for days.

Why is this? There are no bad neighborhoods here. We were in one neighborhood. Yeah. Playgrounds on every block. And there's a weed store on every block. Yeah. We were late to the show.

And we get to the show and it was fun, man. The crowds were insane. They were yelling a lot of shit out. And this was just a bird man. This is fun, man. The crowds were insane. They were yelling a lot of shit out. And this was just a bird man. This was a bird man. This was all a dream. And then I wanted one of those shitty movies where all of it never happened.

Oh, man. What a cop. Anytime, even if I watch a half hour episode that it turns out it was just a dream, I'm just like... Why did you make me sit through? In school, did you ever have to do like a creative writing story and then you just put that at the end and felt like, oh, this is pretty original.

It's like, oh my God, this twist. Yeah, I really, I really pulled one over. Yeah. Teacher. Oh, I'm almost at of room on this paper. And it was a dream. Yeah, it was a dream and you're still a dumb teacher. I like to just go, and it was me the whole time.

Oh, there you go. Yeah. But it was, and that guy was me? Yeah. Like that? Yeah. That's a good twist. Oh, it's always the best.

On my deathbed, I kind of want to say that. It was me. And then just die? It was me the whole time. You broke deathbed, I kind of want to say that. It was me. And then just die? It was me the whole time. You broke my heart, Frodo. Frodo. It was me the whole time. Remember the Diary of the Beloved?

No. That was the thing that you had going on. Yeah, you were worrying for me. Yeah, because you kept posting these pictures of like a waterfall and then this weird, like some weird quote. And I was like, is Dino okay? This is your Instagram account. This is my Instagram account.

And you would post. So I would try to find it. Diary of the Beloved. Yeah, it was all, yeah, like excerpts from Diary of the Beloved. And I was like, what's Diary of the Beloved? It's a thing he made up. Oh. Diary of the Beloved. Are you saying Diary of the Beloved?

No, no, no. No. But I thought it was either it was like a book or it was you were depressed. I couldn't figure out what it was. I don't know what it is myself, but it's really fun. If you guys want to follow me on Instagram, I'm going to do a little weak plug. Is it? That was all this was for?

What are you on Instagram? You're just Dino Archie? Nah, man. I'm Dean Steen, the beloved Instagram? You're just Dino Archie? Nah, man. I'm Deanstein the Beloved. Right? Yeah, of course. That's spelled

Deanstein. That's D-E-A-N S-T-E-A-N the Beloved. Dumbest decision I ever made. No one can find me. You know you can change it.

Can you? Yeah, but then... Can you? You can, but then when people click that name, it will lead them nowhere. Right. On the previous post.

But how many people do you think are clicking on these previous posts? Not enough for your liking. Okay, so here's one. Here's one. It's a picture of a waterfall. Yeah. I mean, but I was there. It's not like I'm just finding.

Right. Maybe does that make it worse? You took the picture. Yeah. It was just a picture of a waterfall. That's what I remember. But I was, it was there. I didn't Google.

Oh, okay. You took this one. I'm there. Okay. Because it's pretty much, it's this island that we would go to and then you hike and there's a waterfall. Sounds beautiful. It's crazy.

Where is this? I'll tell you after. So, it's off the coast of the Maldives. Whatever. I don't want to say it. Okay. Are you high now? He says, so he goes goes he'd been gone

for years and he would sometimes wonder if they missed him if they searched for him would they know where to find him

you see he'd always loved the water excerpts from Diary of the Beloved yeah see you can see why I was worried about him yeah

are we just gonna read our Instagrams? All right, this one is a picture of a toilet, and it says, hashtag blessed. The woman from the river could see that he hadn't rested in days. She let him lay under the sycamore trees in her backyard. He gave a silent praise. Thank you, Lord. Even a bad guy needs kindness why are you writing these uh this is a picture of a puppy and it says puppy

i like puppies i don't know it's just fun i like stuff you don't have to think about too much yeah yeah see if see a thing and then say what it is. Yeah. Yeah. See something, say something. Yeah. Say something, I'm giving up on you. Wait.

Is that song by those guys? All right. From The Voice. Dave, what's going on with you, man? Nothing. Nothing? Since we last spoke Here's an update on what we talked about last week

You kicked some leaves out of a thing? Yeah Last week it was all about We're finally, now that the baby is six weeks old We're kind of coming up for air and like establishing routines Yeah And I'm like every morning I get up really early with the baby and feed it and feed her. She's a human being.

Yeah. Lay out some oats. Pretty girl. And I just put something on on Netflix just to kind of zone out. And I started watching The X-Files, which I'd never seen before. Never seen The X-Files? Yeah. Oh, there x file yeah yeah okay any you ever seen it yeah yeah all right um we're all above board here and i uh i was like three episodes in last last time we spoke now i'm about 20 in all right um here's what i like tell me all about it i like uh, I don't like the ones where it's like a big government conspiracy Right

And like there's, you know, troops running in I mean, it all looks very fake whenever that happens It doesn't hold up over time Those are the same six soldiers as the last shot I like it when they're just investigating like one weird kid Yeah, yeah, yeah Um, but, uh, yeah, yeah. But yeah, it's not getting much better.

Past guest Ken Tremblett was in an episode. Okay. Who is he? He was a logger. Okay. Yeah. Comic. Yes, go ahead.

You there. Is that a comic comedian? He. Well, actor. Yeah. Yeah. Peter Calamas was in an episode Oh yeah But

Who was he? He was just a guy operating like a They were trying to isolate a sound in a recording Like enhance He was the first guy To enhance? To enhance Oh wow

And then this morning For some reason i pulled up the x files and it just said we can't access this right now oh no and so i uh the truth is out there and so uh too close on my like netflix screen like in three of the different categories it was like things you may like tv comedies and all of them were fresh prince of bel-air and i was like okay i'll watch the first episode of them were Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. And I was like, okay, I'll watch the first episode of the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. It's so good

from the get-go. Yes. You know when you're watching an old episode of a TV show and you're like, it probably took a while to get good. It's like joke, joke, joke, joke. But what I don't like is when he showed up at their house, there was no one there to greet him like the butler

answers the door right yeah and then people started coming home and from the song he pulled up to the house about seven or eight in the morning everybody had gone to work oh that might have been it yeah uh but uh yeah i'm not gonna keep watching that though i've already seen all those yeah although i don't know. When you want to watch something just in the background that you don't have to watch-watch, something that you've already seen really does fit the bill. Oh, yeah. I have a hard time changing the channel when Fresh Prince happens to come on.

And I'm not, you know what I mean? I'm not doing shit. Even if you are, you're like, eh, I could be half an hour late to this thing. Oh, that's great. It's a great show. Yeah, no, it's, yeah, it was like the same thing. I watched the first episode of 30 Rock, and it was just, everything was exactly how it was for the entire series from episode one. Like, it was like, this is going to be a reoccurring joke.

This is going to be a reoccurring joke and onward. Yeah. But have you guys seen the John Mulaney television show? I just heard. It's disappointing. But three episodes in, like, it was one of the characters does a musical number. And you're like, I don't remember that being from the first episode established that, you know, the characters can break out in song. You know what I mean?

But, like, full, like. Like a full musical number, like. Right? Yeah. That's something that you would have to decide like we're gonna be a musical right guys we're gonna have musical numbers yeah you just can't change formats like that unless it's uh such a smash like everyone you know what i mean yeah yeah oh what's gonna happen next on this show we don't it seems pretty established smash that's anyways like some shows you know like seinfeld

when you see the first episode, you're like, eh, Elaine isn't even one of the cast. Yeah. And Kramer kind of comes in for a minute. Yeah. Yeah. So you're like, eh, this took a while to kind of boil up. George was Chinese.

Kramer wasn't racist. Oh, those were the days, remember? The character's not racist. Just the actor. I wish he was. That would be the best. That would be the show now that would happen. That he would be a racist character?

Are there any racist characters in sitcoms? Yeah, Archie Bunker. No, now. But Archie was dope. That's what I'm saying. Archie Bunker was, I guess, I got to rewatch that, but he was not, he was, I don't know if he was racist or just honest. He was. That's what most racists would claim to be.

I'm just being honest. No, no, no. Racists, the shitty racists, they'll go, hey, how you doing, Dino? But then silently or when I'm not, not me, I'm not going to, but. Right. You know what I mean? Nobody's confrontationally racist. I haven't ran into that. silently or when I'm not, not me, I'm not going to use, but right. You know what I mean? No, nobody's confrontationally racist.

I haven't ran into that. For the listener. Dino is, uh, from India. And, but like Archie Bunker would, he would say like, you know,

like you're one of the good ones to some, right. He would say that kind of thing. Yeah. Yeah. And think he was paying them like a really great compliment. like you're one of the good ones to somebody. Right? He would say that kind of thing. Yeah, yeah. And think he was paying them like a really great compliment. How much of that show have you seen? All in the Family?

Yeah. Every episode. Oh, really? Yeah, it used to be on in reruns. It's one where I've only seen like three episodes, but they happen to be, I think they're like the most famous episodes. Oh, yeah. The one where the rapist comes in. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Where he starts off as a burglar and then becomes a rapist. Well, yeah. The one where the rapist comes in. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Where he starts off as a burglar and then becomes a rapist. Well, you know, it's a slippery slope. And then the one where Archie Bunker's in the hospital with the French guy. And they have the curtain between them. Right. And he doesn't realize he's a black French guy.

Sacre bleu. Guys, it's so hot in here. Yeah, it is pretty warm. But, but yeah that was a show that was on every day and same with uh welcome back cotter but i only listened to the theme song from welcome back cotter and then turned it off because i couldn't stand the way it looked it looked so grimy oh yeah it was the grimiest looking show on tv i can't i can't watch shows from the 70s right i oh some kind of felt like they show like the exterior shots and everything just looks like filthy you know that's just weird uh a tint yeah this grimy well it was like before pressure washers were invented it was maybe that

it was like because they're worse stuff there was, I don't know. When was the Brady Bunch? The 70s as well? Yeah. I could watch that. Yeah. And like, the Monkees was the 60s. Yeah. But like, yeah, the Welcome Back, Cotter, it bummed me out. Yeah.

And same with like, MASH. Oh, MASH. Oh, God. What? Yes, MASH? No, MASH? No, man. Not the, you know the nine, eight-year-old me. Yeah.

The day you were like, oh, I'm sick. I'm going to stay home from school. Yeah. And then fucking MASH comes on. Ah. Ah, no. It was sort of like. Oh, no.

It's true. That was the worst. Yeah. It was like Murphy Brown there's nothing in this for children yeah there's not even like

sight gags or like a cute neighbor girl yeah yeah exactly Hot Lips Hula Head

was the cutest girl in the whole show I even watched Golden Girls was great oh yeah you talk about a show you talk about a show I even watched Golden Girls was great. Oh, yeah.

You talk about a show that has it together. I saw an episode on the airplane. It was brilliant. I just, I was. Oh, yeah. Every character, they knew what their role and they, oh, it was so. And it was weird. It was like, that's not a show that you would think would have anything for kids.

But it was so funny. It was so funny when I was a kid. I'll tell you, because you're like, oh, you go, oh, man, I'd like my grandma to be like that. I'd like my grandma to be that slutty. I had a crush on Blanche. She died. Oh, yeah. That doesn't mean you can't still have a crush on her.

You're right. They've all died except for Betty White. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. And she's not even, I don't think she was the eldest of them. Like, or the youngest of them. No, wait. Who was the youngest of them?

The youngest was Estelle Getty. Yeah. She played the eldest. Yeah. She had range. She played a grandmother, a mom. From Some of My Mommal Shit. What was some of the a mom. From Sober My Mom Will Shoot. What was some of the shows?

Coach? You guys remember Coach? Yeah. Yeah, I don't remember watching Coach. Like, I remember thinking Jerry Van Dyke was very funny. And Dauber. Yeah, Dauber. Yeah, they had two dumb guys.

Yeah, they had two dumb guys. They were the first show to do that. Yeah, they're like, hey, everybody likes the dumb guy. Why not two dumb guys? I thought the ratings went double. It was weird. Like, the kind of stuff I was into was like, yeah, I'll watch Designing Women. I won't watch Major Dead.

I was going to say that. I want to sign a wedding to it with a guy named Meshack Taylor. Yeah, he decided where he threw it. Yeah. With a guy named Meshack Taylor. Yeah, he died. Oh, no. Yeah, recently. Oh, wow. Oh, that's crazy.

That's such a weird show to watch, but it was dope, though. It was dope. Wouldn't you say that? Was Delta Burke in it? Yeah, Delta Burke was in it. She was in it, yeah.

Was that the thing that made her, or was she famous from something else? I wonder about that, because she was very famous at the time. Yeah. She was in it. Was that the thing that made her or was she famous from something else? I wonder about that because she was very famous at the time. Yeah.

She was like a bridezilla but not in terms of brides. She was just like a birkzilla. She was just kind of a diva at the time, wasn't she? Yeah.

Yeah, she was the first. A tabloid queen. Yeah, but I feel like this might, this was, because I remember when Burt Reynolds

was on Evening Shade. Yeah, and then my mom. Why did they even make CBS available to children? My mom was like, I remember my mom telling me that Burt Reynolds was the biggest action star in the 70s. And I was like, what? Like, what? That doesn't make any sense. The guy from Evening Chains?

Yeah. Oh, man. Night Court. Oh, yeah, Night Court. Night Court had a great theme. Yeah. Boom-do. Boom-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do.

Yeah. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do Do you know that John Larroquette, he won so many Emmys for that show that he pulled himself out of contention. Because he was just winning every year. That's what Oprah did. Is that right? Yeah. Man, they should team up. That's what we should do in the Canadian Comedy Awards. Yeah. We're just pulling ourselves out.

We're retiring. Yeah. I wonder if Oprah and John Larroquette could ever work on a project. Yeah. And just not submit it for Emmys. What was his show that he played? The John Larroquette Show? Yes.

Thank you. I kind of remember that. Yeah. And now this is all like I didn't do homework ever. No, no, no. So it was just like come home, watch TV till dinner, lie to my parents, tell them I did my homework. They'll watch more TV until bedtime. E equals major death.

And then read TV Guide in bed. Yeah. You read The Variety in the morning. Hollywood Reporter, everybody. Oh, they greenlit that? Oh, Buffo B.O.? Oh, Sybil's back? Mouse House?

Sybil's back. Oh, great. Oh, good. I love that. Christinebil's back. Oh, great. Oh, good. I love that. Christine Baranski. Oh, she's great. That show was... She was another one that I didn't know in her heyday.

That was her comeback vehicle. Yeah, I still don't. But I know she's someone everyone's dad loves. Yeah, yeah. Because she was on the show with young Bruce Willis. Moonlighting? Moonlighting. Oh, she was on that. Yeah. Which I never saw. Oh, yeah. She was on the show with young Bruce Willis. Moonlighting? Moonlighting. Oh, she was on that. Yeah. Which I never saw. Oh, Sybil was.

I thought you meant Christine Baranski. No, no. No, yeah. Christine Baranski. She might have been the biggest action star of the 60s. Oh, yeah. I knew Sybil from Moonlighting. Yeah. But, like, how come Brent Reynolds doesn't have a sitcom? Yeah. Taxi Driver. Who? Sybil Shepard. Oh,ing. Yeah. But how come Brent Reynolds doesn't have a sitcom? Yeah.

Taxi Driver. Who? Sybil Shepard. Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. She played Frodo?

It was also that was like every 70s New York movie had that grime on the film as well. Yeah. Yeah. It was a grimier time.

I think it was. I think it was legitimately like you couldn't film on the street without like paper blowing by because people were just throwing garbage out of the windows of their cars so i don't think you could get a street scene that looked clean like even there's there's a scene in strange brew where it's like on the docks and it's in Toronto yeah it's filthy it just looks just disgusting

you're like how did anybody you know live I mean why wouldn't you smoke back in the 70s because it's like everything was just

gross anyways you know did they change film stock or something they must have and I'm sure that stuff is like the greatest like analog

old timey whatever yeah like you don't respect well I mean They must have. And I'm sure that stuff is like the greatest, like analog, old timey, whatever. Yeah. Like. You don't respect it. Well, I mean. I know what they say, right? Yeah.

But like, was it different film stock in LA than New York? You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Like, it was back then. It just took longer to send it across the country. On one side of the country, it was Hellman's Film Stock, and the other side, it was Best Foods.

Yeah, but it felt just like anytime they shot anywhere in New York, like a garbage bar should just driven past the camera. Nobody respected the PA going, hey, hold trap. Like, hey, no, we're filming. They go, fuck you. We're all, we're walking here. Like, hey, no, we're filming. They go, fuck you. We're all, we're walking here. We're all, we're all, we're walking here. All of us, we are walking here.

That was like New York film slogan in the 70s. We are all walking here. We're all, we're walking here. That's Midnight Cowboy, right? Yeah. They're the grimiest of them all. Yeah, and that was an improvised line. Yeah.

Because he actually got hit by a car. I didn't see it yet. Really? Midnight Cowboy. You know that line, though. I'm walking. I'm walking. That's from that?

That's from that. Oh, okay. Yeah, and he improvised it because a car, I guess, drove into the shot because they didn't. And it couldn't hold traffic.... And it couldn't hold traffic. It couldn't hold traffic. I think I heard that... The guy was driving with two knives instead of hands. To get a shooting permit in New York

costs zero dollars. Like, I'm serious. Is that right? Yeah. So they were just like, hey, shoot something here, and then it would be like, ah, you can't shoot anything.

There's prostitutes in every single shot. Then they call it the rotten apple. What's that? They call New York like the rotten apple. In the 70s it was, there's pictures from like the old 70s, like the subway, and there's just pictures of people just like riding with an axe over their

shoulder. It was just, it was like Mad Max. People were, like there was broken glass everywhere people pissing in the street they just don't care i love it don't push me um so yeah that's what's going on with me i watched an episode of the it's great there's a extra long intro song oh yeah right? The thing about him being on the plane? On the plane, he drinks orange juice out of a champagne glass. That's so good.

So yeah, what's going on with you? Well, last night I was at a show that because tonight's Halloween, I went on a show where everybody had to dress do a costume. I did a costume for exactly one second on stage and then I was like, this is too hot, this mask is too hot, and I took it costume for exactly one second on stage

and then I was like this is too hot. This mask is too hot. And I took it off and just rested it on my head. What was it? A wolf man. It was a wolf man.

Sounds like an X-File over here. Right? Have they investigated a wolf man? Every episode it's just like oh who's that guy?

It's like a werewolf in a hat walking away they enter onto every murder scene yeah i'm molder i'm scully we're the x-files who are you it's sasquatch and yeah in a beard sasquatch with a thermos um so uh just before i was supposed to go up, um, there was a, somebody drove by with their, like honking their horn, like just continuously. And then they stopped right out in front of the, it was at the little mountain, uh, gallery and just the horn was going.

And so I was like, oh, like, did somebody just get in an accident or something? So I stuck my head out the the door and it was somebody's horn was broken oh and it wouldn't stop going and so i thought it was hilarious i couldn't stop laughing because i thought like oh someone else on stage at the time yeah yeah um and then uh but then i saw it was like an older lady and she was like kind of freaking out. And I was like, oh, I feel bad. I'll put her out of her misery. Yeah. Exactly.

I told her about the rabbits. So I just, I just wiki, wiki how'd like, what do you do if a horn won't turn off? And it said to just like hit the horn like several times and that'll dislodge whatever and so I went over and I like but I couldn't say anything

because the horn was going so I was like pointing at wiki how like I learned how to do a thing you just open the door and start punching her yeah start punching her

oh wait I read it wrong oh I'm not supposed to punch her punch person driving behind horn until the horn stops or it didn't so then it then it worked to shut it off but then she was like how do i like because then she assumed that i knew what i was doing she's like how do i fix it how do i thank you uh i was like i can think of a way I noticed you have some French bread there give me a piece

yeah so you know it said like something about the fuses and I'm like I don't know just don't honk your horn anymore

you got no horn yeah no more horn for you just assume everyone else is right just be more patient yeah yeah was it an older car? It was a 1993

Yeah Mazda something Oh yeah It's a good car But she had the owner's manual Like we were flipping through The owner's manual Looking for

Your horn won't stop honking In 20 years Yeah exactly If in 21 years Your horn will not stop honking yeah that's true just be grateful yeah exactly

be grateful you have a horn at all then drive your car into a garbage dump there are people in countries that have no horns at all but I mean garbage dump there are people in countries that have no horns at all but uh i mean of the things that could go wrong with a car a horn that won't stop honking one of the funnier yeah right one of the funnier problems to have but i like while it was you know it kept going like, yeah, just park it on the main street. Nobody will notice.

Like, they'll just drown it out after a while. What, um, I've always wondered what I would do if, like, I was in a medical emergency or something. And, like, I needed to get through traffic. And, like, you don't have sirens on your civilian car. No, that's true. Like, how would you. You should carry one of those 70s style. Yeah, that's true.

Get some dirty film stock. Yeah, exactly. Everybody going around with a tiny revolver. Yeah. It doesn't even kill anybody. No, it's just to graze. Just to leave your mark on a perp. That's a lot of confidence to have a revolver,

like just a six. Yeah, it's tiny little revolvers and then like the toots always have the hairiest arms and they would also unbutton,

they'd loosen their tie and there'd be hair like coming out like the chest hair. And they'd have gold chains. That's not on TV anymore. Well, there's Tony Shalhoub.

Monk. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I guess he, did he have hairy arms? No, he didn't expose it, but he had bees i feel like you can only get really good hairy arms on like an hbo or a showtime like a cable or network television is a smooth arms for everybody yeah even you know stabler

on law and order who probably in real life has hairy arms, had like super waxy arms. He had to wax his arms for his role. Who are your hairy-armed celebrities? Yeah, like James Gandolfini would. Yeah. Maybe Sean Connery. Yeah, but not anymore. Like there's no, like Jon Hamm. He's probably like.

Robin. Yeah, Robin Williams. But even in the later years, he didn't have the crazy 80s style. Like, he had thinned it out or something. I don't know what you do. Why did they pick him to play Popeye? If, like, Popeye's most famous feature is his smooth forearms. Fair question.

Thank you. It was just coming out of the 70s. Everybody was having a bath for the first time ever. They just assumed that that was dirt on his arms. You won't be able to see. You won't be able to tell the filth on the film stock from the filth on your arms. Yeah, I mean, why? You could say that about a lot of things in Popeye.

Like, why a live action movie? Why, you know? I've never seen it. Who directed that? Robert Altman. Who like, you know, it was like a heavy director. Yeah, I thought like Brian De Palma or something.

I knew it was a real director. Yeah. Not like the other one, but like a heavy hitter. And it was supposed to be like a blockbuster. Like it was a huge budget and, you know, huge advertising campaigns

and Robin Williams was super super famous Shelley Duvall in the role she was born to play that's right and then nobody

as Brutus just a guy I don't know yeah I don't know and then you know and then I think

it was a musical also which Popeye wasn't he was a singing guy there's always like well Popeye the Sail. There's always like a version of the movie, like a script that we don't ever get to see, like a darker version. Yeah. You know what I mean?

Like that just never makes it. You know, you ever hear those stories? Like, oh, this movie was supposed to be way darker. Yeah. You think the Popeye movie was supposed to be darker? I don't know, but I know there's probably a guy. Frank Miller's Popeye? Yeah, who wrote way darker. Yeah. You think the Popeye movie was supposed to be darker? I don't know, but I know there's probably a guy. Frank Miller's Popeye? Yeah, who wrote a darker...

Frank Miller's Popeye? Yeah, darker version of Popeye. Big forearms, real big veins, he's doing heroin. Yeah. Well, the comic strip Popeye, was it a comic strip?

Yeah. Or the cartoons? It was both. They're filthy. Yeah, I guess. It's like, it's not like... He's a sailor. Yeah. He the cartoons? It was both. They're filthy. Yeah, I guess. It's like, it's not like... He's a sailor. Yeah.

He's always drinking and looking to turn up. But it's hard to look at. He's a weirdo. Yeah. He's a weird dude. And he was fighting. He was always fighting. He was always getting in fights.

That was the whole premise of Popeye. There's some grit underneath that. Yeah, but I do like the idea of Frank Miller's Popeye. There's some grit underneath that. Yeah, but I do like the idea of Frank Miller's Popeye. More and more. The more I'm thinking about it, the more

and more I like him. I know these as references. I would not be able to make a second joke about it. Frank Miller, he directed that second

Sin City movie that came out. Did he not direct the first? No, that was Robert Rodriguez. Oh, Bob Rodriguez? Yeah. Oh, that's such a thing, right?

When people would call people Bob De Niro? Oh, yeah. That's crazy. Bob Zombie. Instead of Robert. My pal Bob Zombie. So I got Bob Zombie on the phone. I was talking to Bobby.

Bobby Zombie Bobby Bobby Zombie Bobby Zombie yeah anyways I'm stuck at Frank Miller do we want to then move on over yeah let's move on over

alright hey folks this is Kevin Allison of the Risk Podcast a proud member of the Maximum Fun family if you've never heard Risk before you gotta check it out Risk is where people tell Hey folks, this is Kevin Allison of the Risk Podcast, a proud member of the Maximum Fun family. If you've never heard Risk before, you've got to check it out.

Risk is where people tell true stories they never thought they'd dare to share in public. Stuff you could never hear on NPR. This is where writers, comedians, and people of all walks of life drop the act and get as raw and real as it gets. You know you love stories. Why not check out the show where you'll hear the most unforgettable ones you've ever heard. Check out Risk today. We are free on iTunes, of course, and we're at MaximumFun.org or at Risk-Show.com. Risk! Hi, my name is Rishi K. Sherway, and I have a podcast called Song Explorer. Reckless! or just the guitars, or, say, just a Wurlitzer piano.

If you're a fan of music, if you make music, or if you just like to learn how things are made, come check it out on MaximumFun.org. Thanks. Overheard. Overheard's a segment in which people out there and people in here talk about things that they have overheard in their everyday life. We always like to start with the guest. Dean, are you ready?

Dean Steen, the beloved. No, but I, okay. We don't have to start with you. Yeah, we can start with Dave and then come back. No, no, no. No, I'm ready. Okay. Because you're not selling it. You're not Steen ready. I'm not. Okay. Because you're not selling it.

You're not selling it. Yeah. So serve it up like it's gold. This happened on the plane, actually. You know that whole thing where, like, hey, is there a doctor on the plane? Has that ever happened to anyone ever? No. I've heard stories, but not to me.

One time in college in a cafeteria, somebody said, is there a doctor? A doctor on the plane. Doctor on the plane. And I was like, what? No, I've never been

on a plane when somebody's... Yeah, man. I was sitting next to a guy and I was sitting back here and I was sitting next to a dude and the flight attendant

comes over and says uh Is our she goes there a doctor on the plane and and he he was on his iPad He didn't want to say anything and she's like is there a doctor he goes yeah I'm a doctor and she goes all there's these girls in the back. He's like what like what's wrong with him He said oh their stomach their stomach hurts. They think they ate some bad food. And he was just like, I don't give a shit. Because you think that they're going to go, I'm a doctor. In your head, that's how the scene would play out.

Like, yes, I'm a doctor. And what seems to be the problem? Yeah, you were also expecting an actual emergency. It's like, there's two girls who feel weird. They both feel weird? Yeah. Maybe they're just coming of age. Yeah.

And she said, will you go check it out? And he fucking did not want to do it. It was so, he goes, I don't, they just have a stomach ache. That's what he said to her. He's like, why do you want me to, what am I going to do, cut them open and massage their stomach? Wait a minute, are you a doctor? Because no, you're not going to do that.

It's not like massaging someone's heart back. How does your stomach feel now? He goes, hi, I'm Dr. Pepper. Did you get this? Yeah, it's Dr. Dre some girls in the back they don't have any headphones that'd be a good commercial

yeah so yeah that was really cool I heard him say that and he didn't give a shit and I don't even think he I think he went back there

for a second and came back no he told her he goes you know what if it gets worse then come get me right and he just hung out and I was't even think he, I think he went back there for a second and came back. No, he told her, he goes, you know what, if it gets worse, then come get me. Right.

And he just hung out and I was like, this guy's dumb. Yeah. Is that what it said? It's an airplane, right? Where they go like, is there a doctor on the plane

and he's sleeping with a stethoscope? He's got a stethoscope on. They're like, I think this is a doctor. Oh, the movie airplane. Yeah, the movie airplane. Yeah.

You know, that's an airplane, right? Dave, do you have an overheard? Yeah. I'm not getting out of the house a lot these days. But the other day I was on Commercial Drive. Oh, yeah. Vancouver's Eclectic.

Oh, yeah. Whatever. If you want to, you know, see somebody toting around their own bongo. Walking to the beat of their own drum. And there were these two girls in their 20s, sort of punky looking girls, punky little Brewsters there. Great style. Yeah, fantastic. Big crush.

And this sort of Soleil Moon Fry type. And one of them was talking about how she hasn't talked to her mom in so long. And the other one was like, yeah, I talked to my mom. My mom doesn't want to talk to me. It's like whenever I call, it's like she's hiding under the desk. And then the last time I talked to her, she asked if I was on dope. I think she means, do I still smoke pot? Oh, also I'm taking dopamine

so maybe she means that. Yeah oh yeah. You sound like an undercover cop. Is my mom the narc? Yeah. Hey you got any grass over there?

Yeah. No one calls it that anymore mom. And yes. How much for a lid? What's that? That old timey drug slide? That's an old, yeah, that was an amount of weed you could buy was a lid.

Oh, wow. Yeah. This I just. Was it measured in like the lid of a peanut butter jar or let's say like a Coke bottle? Yeah, in our, yeah, exactly. In our neck of the woods, we do it with a peanut butter jar. Oh, that's a lid. Give me more weed.

Yeah, I don't know what lid means, but I just know that that's... Or maybe it's a hat you get from the mall. Oh, yeah. Yeah, lids. Lids. Shout out to lids for all your hat needs. If anyone's listening from lids, send me those hats. Yeah, send me all the craziest hats you have.

Do you have a Sherlock Holmes hat? I think they're just going to see you fedoras. They'll take it. Does Lids have fedoras? Probably. Oh, yeah. For that crowd. How come fedoras with a sports logo didn't catch on? You know, like a baseball cap,

but instead it's a fedora and it's just got you know, Yankees. Yeah but instead it's a fedora and it's just got, you know, Yankees. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Well, because they have, have they ever? That visual is the best. It is pretty gross when you think about it. Have they done?

Everybody in the stands looks like Vince Lombardi. Yes. Because they've messed with uniforms in other ways. Like they've done the Chicago White Sox for a year wore shorts. They did? Yeah. Oh, wow. The Hartford Whalers and Philadelphia Flyers wore slacks for a couple of years.

They wore these long pants. Cooperalls. That's true. Oh, I love it. Oh, tuxedos. Yeah, but it's like, well, you know, what if that creates

the advantage, you know? Everybody would start wearing shorts. And then, so I wonder, like, have they ever, has there ever been a baseball team

that just wore a different kind of hat? Yeah. Oh, good call. I guess, what other type, cowboy? Yeah. Well, the problem is now you wear the helmet hat over top of the hat.

Right. Or just separately. So you need to hold another set of those. They used to wear, right, they used to wear like those newspaper boy hats. Like what you're wearing right now. Even flatter. It'd be flatter and really wide. Like in the 1800s.

Yes. Like Abner Doubleday when writing the rules of baseball. Or... What was the rules like then? Rounds?

Rounders? I don't know. Yeah, rounders. Is that right? Yeah. That might just be a poker movie. Oh, it is definitely

a poker movie. But I don't... I'm not don't discount it as a possible name for baseball. Give that man his mind. Is that John Malkovich?

Yeah. Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. I'll be playing all week. Yeah, this is on your SNL audition tape. This is John Malkovich in one role.

Yeah. Can I have some Oreo cookies? Because that's my tell. Now, Graham, do you have some Oreo cookies? Because that's my tell. Now, Graham, do you have an overheard? Yes, I do. Or have we done yours? Nope.

I was on the bus. Yeah, there was... I felt like... I don't know if you've ever been in a situation like this. I'll explain the situation. Your parents going out on a week's vacation. Week's vacation, exactly. you've ever been in a situation like this i'll explain the situation your parents going out on a vacation exactly um i'm sitting in the the window seat and then a couple gets on the bus and the there's no two seats together so they sit one in front of the other okay so the the gal is

sitting next to me and her boyfriend is sitting behind her and he starts giving her a massage. Of course. And I was like, I'm in this. I'm part of this. And so he's like giving her a neck massage. You're next to her. I'm next to her. Uh-huh.

But she's doing all these like. They're both trying so hard. He's trying hard to please her and she's trying hard to like encourage him yeah on the bus like she does she's not really feeling it but she's gonna try for why do i think this is a plane like i might as well it's on a bus is there a doctor on the bus exactly and what kind of doctor on the bus? Exactly. And what kind of doctor rides the bus? Doctor feel good. Is there a massage therapist on the bus? Oh, yes, yes.

But I'm busy with a client right now. Anyways, then his thing to kind of stir up conversation with her. She's not, they're both facing the same direction. And also like, don't you hate it when your masseur is trying to start up a conversation?

Yeah. And he leans forward and says to her, what's our cheese situation? So uncomfortable. I don't like this couple, man. Yeah, me neither. I don't like these guys.

What's our cheese situation? They're on the bus and they're trying to like this couple, man. Yeah, me neither. I don't like these guys. It's our cheese situation. They're on the bus and they're trying to talk about their cheese situation. Yeah, and they're doing a massage on the bus. I want your mind on my shoulders when you're massaging them. I don't want you thinking about fondue later. And we're on the fucking bus. Yeah, exactly. Just wait.

Here's our cheese situation. Powdered. Yeah. Although I have absolutely said that sentence. What's our cheese situation? Yeah, sure. But in the privacy of your own home. Or like when I'm grocery shopping and I'm like, oh, I'm...

Literally. Should I buy more cheese? Like, what's our cheese situation? Yeah. But come on. There's a time and place. We can all agree there's a time and place for all of these activities. Oh, boy.

Yeah. No, no, no. That's not a good thing. I mean, honestly, like, you've talked about how you're very recognizable. And, like, if someone's heard the show, they're not going to say anything funny around you because they know you're going to overhear it. Yeah. These people are, like... Obliv it. Yeah. These people are like. Oblivious.

Yeah. These people have no idea who you are. No. Yeah, they're giving me the full Monty. They're giving me everything I want. Now, we also have overheards sent in to us from around the world. If you want to send one into the podcast, you can send it to spy at maximumfund.org. The first one comes from Adam F. from Jersey,

the Channel Islands, UK. Oh, the home of the cows. Yeah. I've been there. I went there a long time ago. What's better, Jersey or Guernsey? Hmm.

I'm not going to pick a second. Oh. Real fence rider. I feel like Jersey is, do you ever like ride an airplane? Yep. where they have the map? Oh, like the little moving map. The map channel.

And it's always like they pick the weirdest cities around the world to highlight. It's like, okay, so there's Addis Ababa and there's Jersey. Yeah. And then Las Vegas. Who makes that top 10? Yeah. It's just like the random selection of... It's just whatever that particular program has a spell checker for.

It only recognizes 12, 14 cities. It's like from an early version of Where in the World is Carmen, San Diego? Once you've been through all the questions, you can make it through the game. So this is in a Portuguese community run, like a Portuguese corner shop. My brother was queuing. That's how you know this is from the UK. Yeah, sure.

In the line, and the lady in front of him said to the portuguese woman behind the counter do you have any goat's cheese to which the woman replied ghost cheese what's our cheese situation haunted so queuing queuing means waiting lining lining line up like cue cue yeah i thought even, well, my first mind was like barbecuing. Oh. There you go. This is what they would call on the East Coast of the United States, waiting online. Yeah.

Which we call waiting in line. In line. Waiting online, waiting in line. And then in the West Coast, in Fresno, queuing means barbecuing. Barbecuing. Like, oh, like we're we're yeah we're gonna queue today we're oh we're gonna queue yeah we're about to queue what would you say we're queuing currently like if somebody called you say we're yeah would you say we just queued

yep all the every tense present yeah yeah past would you would you use the uh imperative queue just like it with an exclamation mark telling someone to yeah like on your marks get set yeah yeah q motherfucker um this next one comes from lucas l parts unknown uh overheard one side of a phone conversation today while eating lunch hey do you remember that guy a couple years ago that made the news for violating a horse? Well, he did it again. Uh-huh. Same horse, too.

Caught in the act this time. Didn't even have enough time to get off his Apple box. So that was... I know, right? Oh, poor horse. Yeah, that's true. Horse can't consent. Unless it was a talking horse.

The justice system really should... Yeah, why did that guy get out and get to that horse again? The same horse. So easily. That was probably his horse. That's the worst part. Sorry, I didn't mean to bring it down. I've seen it a thousand times

breaks my heart uh my horse heart can i have to cut me open and massage it like what is the what what is the thing where they do that where you massage a heart it's when it's stopped and the person's been dead for an hour right i don't know what you're like yeah might as well it sounds like an X-File. Yeah. Yeah, the guy just massaging people's hearts. The guy's just really sad and he's like, broke up.

Isn't that a Tony Braxton song? Massage my heart? Massage my heart. Tony Braxton or Babyface. Well, he wrote Tony Braxton or Babyface well he wrote Tony Braxton stuff so same person

Tony Braxton and Babyface are the same person is Tony Braxton still broke that's what they say but I don't know broke

when was she broke she's not taking the bus anywhere she's not Owen's asking her about her cheese situation she's not

yeah when was she broke? Like, In the 90s? Okay, because when I was in Vegas, seven years ago, she was at the Flamingo.

Oh, so she's, yeah, she's like, she's like, she's like rich broke. You know when rich people get broke

and they're still But weren't like, TLC were like, legit broke and like, right? Like, there are those kind of stuff. MC Hammer was too legit to broke. So you're saying that TLC were legit broke. And like, right? Like there are those kind of stuff.

MC Hammer was too legit to broke. So you're saying that TLC became Scrubs? Well, they were Scrubs for a while. They were singing about the very people that they were. They were put one over on the whole nation. Yeah, also known as a busta. Didn't catch on as much as Scrubs. Also known as a Busta.

Trademark. This last one comes from... I don't want your number. No. I don't want to give you my... No. I should update that. I actually have a bit about Scrubs.

This was terrible. About that song? Yeah. There's nothing terrible about that. It is. That song was the greatest when it came out. No, no. Nothing. About that song? Yeah. There's nothing terrible about that. It is. That song was the greatest when it came out. The song is, no, no, nothing terrible about the song. Yeah.

But the fact that you have a bit of it? Yeah. Why? Song bits, no? I don't know. I mean, it could. We'll see. Who knows?

It might be 1997 again. Yeah. I remember that. Wait, for that year to come back. You guys remember Scrubs? waiting for that year to come back. You guys remember Scrubs? There was a guy, like, I had an old cassette of stand-up comedy from, like, the 80s,

and I used to listen to it just, like, on repeat, and one of the bits was a joke about a song. It was Elton John's I Guess That's Why They Call It The Blues. And do you know, like, the lyrics? He's, like, rolling like thunder under the covers he's like what the fuck do you even know what blues mean

Elton John I was like that's a good bit yeah yeah that is a shame when you have like a good joke about a

contemporary song and like this song's not going to be popular forever yeah that's why Twitter was invented

that's true yeah this last one comes from Lisa Y I was at the Toronto Zoo today Looking at an alligator When a little girl asked her dad if it was an alligator To which he said yes

The little girl then said Alligators are my favorite crocodiles You know what I call them? Crocodilios Cool kid Yeah, pretty cool kid. And, you know, that they're all the same in her eyes. I mean, can we not? Can we just accept that they're the same animal?

Crocodiles and allioles. Yeah, yeah, you're splitting hairs at this point. Yeah, yeah. I'm like, oh, these are really... And can't we just merge them into one being called Chomposaurus? Thank you. That's what I've been... Someone had to say it.

As brave of you. Yeah. That's great. Let's hear it for the Chomposaurus. Chomposaurus Dundee. Now, in addition to the written-in overheards, we also accept the phoned-in overheards. If you want to call us, our phone number is 206-339-8328, like these people have.

Dino. Okay. You have another overheard. I have another overheard. Okay. We'll get to the phone calls in a second, everybody. I'm so sorry. Yeah, I'm just being greedy at this time.

No, this is a crazy one. It was before I left. It i i it was before i left it was like the day before i left um i'm in the west end in this apartment i'm i'm waking up and i wake up to the neighbor who's on the balcony like right next to me and he's like he's on the phone i just hear his voice and he goes yeah he goes hi hi hey you know he goes hey yes me and he goes he goes gertrude gertrude passed gertrude she passed and he goes no no gertrude she's no she's she's gone gertrude's gone He goes No she's done She's dead

And like Like he's The person can't understand it He goes Is Ray there? Get Ray on the phone Everybody died Like

He just He wanted to scream that It was the He was trying to tell the person Someone died Gertrude passed Passed her classes? No Gertrude's gone Goneed her classes? No, Gertrude's gone.

Gone girl? She's seen gone girl? She's no longer with us. She out of the stove? She's out. Yeah. But he goes, just tell Ray to call me back

when Ray gets there. And that's all I heard but I was just like, oh shit. That's the best. Yeah. That's a fun thing to do if anyone ever tells you someone died.

Just act dumb. Like you want to say, the bitch is dead, man. You want to just scream it. Come on, Gertrude. If your name's Gertrude, you're probably 140 years old. Yeah, exactly.

It was any minute now. Here are your phone calls. Coming at ya. It was any minute now. Here are your phone calls. Coming at you. Hey, Dave and Graham and sexy guest. This is Rachel from Oregon calling with an overheard that is secondhand. This overheard was reported to me by a coworker who overheard some people talking about what somebody had named their baby and the one lady said

oh they wanted to name him Abel and the guy said oh like Cain and Abel and the woman said no like Abel from Sons of Anarchy I mean why split hairs, right? It's a great name. We all agree that Abel's the perfect name for a baby.

It's been a great name for the past 6,000 years. Yeah. Abel, you know, like Abel bodies. Yeah. Yeah, it's a terrible name. What's the story of Cain and Abel? They were the- Did Cain kill Abel?

Were they twins? Yeah, Cain and Abel they were they can't kill Abel were they they're twins yeah Cain killed Abel yeah they were twins and one of them who were Jacob and Esau uh

they uh owned a blockbuster oh yeah yeah oh that's sad yeah yeah and they you know they were

no they did very well but then they uh they got greedy yeah they got they bought too many copies of... What would have been the last movie?

The Weatherman starring Nicolas Cage. What if that was the last new release? You know what I meant? Lord of War starring Nicolas Cage. No, the last new release would have been like a year ago. Yeah, but I wonder what it's like officially. Because Blockbuster went out of business pretty recently, even though they went down the two.

No one visited them within five years. But they still had stores in small towns. And then now they don't. There's still empty Blockbusters here that still say Blockbuster on them. Oh, yeah. Except in October they say Fireworks Store. Or Halloween Costumes. Yeah. in October they say fireworks store. I know. Our Halloween costumes. Yeah.

I drove past that one blockbuster with fireworks written all over it. The two story one? Yeah. And I was with

Charlie Demers and he said well nothing depressing about that. Like a two story blockbuster like they literally built it too close

to the sun. Yeah. They're like this ride i'll never stop that's like having to close two blockbusters yeah yeah yeah exactly you gotta fire everyone upstairs and just yeah hey can you guys let everyone downstairs know you're fired Also, Gertrude passed. And they take that fire pole down. Let everyone know. Oh, man. Oh, boy. Like, I probably bought more Twizzlers at Blockbuster than anywhere else. Sure.

Fuzzy Peaches, I'd buy a bag. Why not? The arrogance of having a two-story Blockbuster. They were so arrogant. They didn't stop Building them like You know they kept going I used to

I thought it was so great Because Blockbuster was like a family Like a little bit Christian I think There were certain things they wouldn't do And they didn't have an adult They didn't have an adult section They would never have bumfights But now so many Blockbusters They would never have Bumfights Yeah

But now Sony Blockbusters Are the perfect places For bumfights Yeah Just get in a band Or just shoot a porno Yeah exactly

It's like looking at Pompeii or something Like Yeah Like they just keep The relic And the ashes out It would be great

Just take the sign off. They don't want everyone to know. All the videos just still on the shelves. There's still movies in there. You could just go get them right now. When they locked the doors, they didn't let them back in. Yeah, they just kept the lights on. There's still a cardboard cutout of Martin Short in pure luck.

He's all inflated because he got stung by a bee. Yeah, the Criterion Collection Edition had just come out. It's Kurt Russell and Gordion and Overboard. Right. I feel like we'll be keen forever.

Here is your next overheard, Abel. Hi, Dave, Graham, and guests. Sexy guest. and he was carrying a dead snake that he had apparently just killed by the neck. And he was waving the snake at people in cars and he said, Snakes, I got him. By the way, this is Eric in Nashville. Snakes.

I got him. Thanks, Eric. I just like that he said he was holding the snake by got him. Thanks, Eric. Yeah. I just like that he said he was holding the snake by the neck. Yeah. The snake is all neck. He was farting. He was holding the snake by the asshole.

He was holding the snake by the leg. Yeah. He's like a guy at a baseball game, just, snakes! I got him snakes I got them I got them they're not for sale or anything just bragging

gonna make a boot yeah how many snakes does it take to make one boot I think you need a big snake just one big snake yeah

but that makes just a sock you just put it in the just yeah oh yeah you have to put it in a boot mold

for a while and then fill it with paper mache or whatever plaster of terrace and then you get a boot in man versus wild he he's like i i'm in the desert and i need to drink water so i'm gonna find a snake kill it and then i'm gonna strip it and i'm gonna pee in the snake skin and then make a filter. Oh, really? Yeah. Oh. Did all that shit.

Yeah. I wonder if it's still like, I mean, you never. You pee in the snake and it filters out the pee stuff and then you're just left with water? You're just left with snake pee. I don't think it's just piss. Yeah.

I don't, you know what I mean? I've never done it. So if you watch it, Was he maybe just like in the, like gone crazy in the desert and he's like, okay, I'm going to. Yeah. Why are you doing this?

Because of the filter. He thinks he's making coffee. And then I just pour it in here and wait for it to drip down. It's a macchiato. Macchiato. Yeah. Because he... I saw him one time

Squeeze like Who is this Bear Grylls Bear Grylls He goes Abel He ordered Abel

You ordered a macchiato Abel Oh yeah Abel Anybody Abel Macchiato Snake fist

Hi Snake fist Oof Yeah I saw him like Ring out Like camel Droppings Because it had water in it Is that show Just basically like Here's Yeah I saw him like Ring out Like camel droppings Because it had water in it

That show just basically Like here's The safest way To eat excrement Yeah Yeah Excuses to eat shit Yeah

Bear Grylls eat shit That's mainly what he does Is tell you different ways To drink your own piss yeah and sleep outside he's like if you want to get away with it

he's going all out of his way to do nasty shit yeah and act like it's informative for you you're like I'm never gonna go where you're at

I'm not gonna take a crew there either in his off hours, he's just peeing in a glass and drinking it. I'll take a vodka piss, please. Oh, boy. Quite the toilet talk today.

Here is your final overheard of 2014. Hey, Dave and Graham. It's Patrick Foy in Omaha. I was just in a sandwich shop. I have an overheard for you. I was just in a sandwich shop. I haven't overheard for you. I was just in a sandwich shop, and they were playing Good Vibrations on the radio, and this guy who was making my sandwich was singing along to the song,

and he was doing this, I'm sick of this bullshit music. The fucking Beach Boys. Ruined my whole life I guess songs Yeah Songs can be funny Jokes

Song jokes Yeah yeah Oh yeah Absolutely That works Hey it kept Weird Al In business all these years It's good enough for him

It's good enough for us But also if you're working In a sandwich shop Like if you're at Subway And they play the same music All over and over Oh yeah It was

Not that I know that. I don't think Subway is necessarily known for that. No, but I worked at... Subway? Toys R Us. In September,

you're already playing Christmas music. You gotta sell them Christmas subs. You should be playing only Halloween music up until the 30th. Halloween?

Yeah. Thriller, Monster Mash, Ghostbusters. Yeah, Ghostbusters and then Assorted Chains and Owling. Today on the radio,

it's Halloween, by the way, there were like little bits of like, oh, Sympathy for the Devil. That's like a Halloween song,

right? Yeah. I'm just kind of stretching it. Yeah, what if God was one of us? God's like, oh, let's do this movie. Well, that brings us to the end of the show here.

Dino, do you have anything that you want to plug? Yeah. This comes out in... Come to the show tonight. Two weeks from now. Two weeks from now. Two weeks ago now. Yeah, like November 10th, I think. I'm recording my first comedy album CD thing this weekend.

So I don't know when it'll come out, but if I don't lose it like I did last night, I did good, and then I snapped because I didn't feel the magic, baby. So I got four more shows. We're going to have, we're going to get something. It's going to be fun and people could actually

hear my goofs and spoofs, man. So hopefully, Is that the title of it? Goofs and Spoofs? I should, but I think the title is going to be Choosy Lover.

Choosy Lover? I like that. Yeah, because I'm not, I need to be more of a choosy lover. Oh, you're not a choosy lover. I'm not a choosy, not enough be more of a choosy lover. Oh, you're not a choosy lover. I'm not a choosy. Not enough.

She's a choosy lover. Yeah, there you go. Is that Phil Collins? Yeah, Phil. Choosy lover. That's that. That's Izy Brothers. Yeah, so I'm going to come out with that either sometime this year, hopefully.

Choosy lover. choosy lover, choosy lover. Follow me. Yeah. Follow me on Twitter. Dino Archie or at a Instagram is my favorite. Yeah. I think that's your album cover.

Yeah. Or album title. The beloved diary. Thanks guys for having me, man. Oh, thanks for a year. I love hanging with you guys.

Yeah. Well, you know, don't be a stranger. Come back. I'm here, baby. Yeah.

I'm back. Do we have to plug anything? I don't. I mean, it's, you know, don't be a stranger. Come back. I'm here, baby. Yeah. Come back. Do we have to plug anything? I don't. I mean, it's, you know, let's take a day. It's a time to remember the fallen troops who fought for all of our freedoms. That's right. On this Remembrance Day. Very solemn day here in Canada.

And less solemn day in the States. They have Memorial Day. And Veterans Day. Veterans Day is the 11th of November. But they don't rock it out like we do. They don't get the day off. Oh, but they get Memorial Day off. I got to plug one other show you're on.

November 19th is a Wednesday at Electric Owl in Vancouver. Yes. It's me, you, as in Graham Clark, Ivan Decker, and I think Sonny Dhaliwal. Yeah. I think. That'll be a fun show. Great show. And I got to get you once you want to get back.

Yeah, we'll see about that. I know. I need to get you on the show. So here we are. Oh, I'm so tired. Come see our show. That's it. And Wilderness Men, still going at this point.

It will be Week 7 of 10 Of the Wow That's great And just today You shot something new for it Yeah So that's for the week

What would have been Week 6 I guess So we'll look up Wilderness Graham No wait Wilderness Man With three A's On Twitter

On Twitter And Wilderness Graham Is a website That's connected to it Oh okay So that'll link you To where you Yeah WildernessGraham.com Is it.com it. Oh, okay. So that'll link you to where you need it.

Yeah. WildernessGraham.com. Is it.com? It's.com. Yeah, we got the.com. Phew. And find me at BlockbusterVideo.com. I snatched it up. Oh, wouldn't that be the best if your email was like Dave at BlockbusterVideo.com?

If anyone wants to buy me a Christmas present, buy me blockbustervideo.com if anyone wants to buy me a Christmas present buy me blockbustervideo.com because I think I think it's it's a lot of

fun yeah it could be and if you like the show go over to maximumfun.org check out the

blog recap all the pictures and videos relating to the content of this episode sure designing women will make an appearance yeah maybe all the pictures and videos relating to the content of this episode. Sure, Designing Women will make an appearance.

Maybe a picture from Pure Luck. Yeah. Scrubs. No scrubs. No scrubs. Fredo or Frodo. Fredo, Frodo. My boy.

So many memories. Oh, that sounds like a game for the future. Fredo or Frodo. Yep. Trademark. Fredo or Frodo.com. Buy it. FredoorFrodo.com. Buy it for me for Christmas.

And if you like the show, tell your friends and come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself. MaximumFun.org Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Listener supported.