Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 35 - Mark McGuckin

Episode Date: October 26, 2008

Road Hockey Rumble's Mark McGuckin joins us to talk Canadian Thanksgiving, West Edmonton Mall, and David Bowie's gritty 70's cop drama.  We also stuntcast Night Court.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode 35 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and joining me as always is my co-host, three-time intercontinental heavyweight champion Dave Shumka. Of what? WWE.

Oh, okay, that's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, did you win another Intercontinental Heavyweight Championship? Yeah, in the Nestle Bake Off. No, the Betty Crocker. That's right. I forgot that that was Intercontinental. Joining us here on this rainy, rainy Vancouver day, a comedian, improv artist, filmmaker, star of, was it outdoor life networks road hockey rumble road hockey

rumble uh mr mark mcguckin thanks for joining us yo dudes what's up hey you know i'm just you know sipping on uh can i say pop you can say beer oh okay because good because unless you have a drinking problem that people aren't supposed to yeah like unless your sponsor is listening yeah sorry it is pop yes uh yes coca-cola speaking of pop i noticed uh just looking in your fridge that you had uh you had some ginger ale in there yeah as to was that canada dry thing was that inspired by a couple podcasts ago no the crumbs episode because Because there was no Canada Dry there before. No, it was inspired by the three twelve packs of pop for ten bucks. Wow. It is

a champagne of ginger ales. One Coke, one ginger ale, and one Dr. Pepper. Remember that? That was a western song, wasn't it? One Coke, one whiskey, one ginger ale? Yeah. It was George Thurgood and the Delaware Destroyers. That's right, country music. Yeah. as i understand it um so they didn't write it what's that they didn't write it but they sang it right right right uh usually george sang it and then he threw a good oh i

thought papard yeah and then he did that guitar solo in the middle and he goes scratch my back baby and then the guitar goes i think that would whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop. I think that would be the most fun part of writing a very silly rock song is throwing in the things that you say, like, watch me now or check it out. Shimmy shum.

No fat chicks. Skip, skip, skip. Two more rounds. Hotcakes Selling like hotcakes Shall we get into the get to know us portion? Well, you launch the theme song And then we'll see where it goes from there

Get to know us Mark, you're the guest We always like to start with the guests So what's going on with you in general? What's going on with me? You don't have to start from the beginning. It's not a biography. It's just a...

The best thing. The top. What's the tops? The tops is, right now, it's on my mind, skipping Thanksgiving, which I did. I was invited to a Thanksgiving dinner that my family so graciously invited me to. And I bailed. I just straight up bailed. I like it.

Why did you bail? There's a plethora of reasons. The main overwhelming reason. You don't like your family. It's, you know. You don't like your hometown. Is it like your family is like the Addams Family and you're the only one that's not a monster? Is it that type of situation?

I'm like, well, I would categorize myself as like Wednesday in the Addams Family. Like the girl who's... Well, not the girl, but she's cool and, you know... Yeah, but she seemed pretty monstery. So if your family is very monstery and you're the Wednesday, then that... Well, like Christine Ricci was hot in the movie. So you're comparing yourself... She was on the verge of it. Yeah, she was a kid at the time.

Well, I'm... Forecasting at the time that she was gonna be hot. You were a kid at the time, too, so it was cool. Yeah, exactly. Do you ever watch the five-day young girl forecast on Como 4? With Steve Poole. With Steve Poole. With Steve Poole.

Who tells you, Dakota Fanning, every other week, is like, it's gonna happen. She's gonna be a hideous-looking adult. Am I right? I can't comment. Why? Are you under some kind of... Do you have an endorsement deal with Dakota Fanning?

It's creepy no matter what answer I give. I think she's gonna be be a rotten looking adult. I think the Olsen twins were as cute as Dakota Fanning at that age. I don't think Dakota Fanning is cute, though. She scares me a little bit. Remember when the Olsen twins were like 17 and people were counting down? The counting down? Oh, that was creepy.

Yeah, I do remember that, yes. When they were like 15 and 16, people were counting down, but around about 17 or 18, they kind of became these unattractive, skinny, skinny, weird ladies. To me, they look like troll dolls and always have. Like the face,

not the hair, but you know the troll doll face? That's what the Olsen twins look like to me. Interesting. I can see the hair. But you said not the hair. Well, their hair is very rarely straight up and rainbow colored and lucky. Their hair is unlucky,

whereas troll doll's hair was lucky. Is that right? Yeah. It's well known. A lot of people on the red carpet have died because they sniffed the Olsen twins' hair. Dave Coulier. Dave Coulier.

That's where he is. God rest his soul. John Stamos. John Stamos Jr. John Stamos III. Rebecca Romaine Stamos. Rebecca Romaine Stamos. Rebecca De Mornay Stamos.

So, yeah. So, you skip Thanksgiving dinner and by the time this comes out we will have been way past Canadian but we'll be almost in time for American Thanksgiving oh we'll certainly be well in time we're recording this on the 13th of October Thanksgiving Monday

in Canada yeah and our Thanksgiving is a bit like in America it's quite a big deal there's a parade is that when the Macy's Day Parade is? Oh, it's huge. It's huge, yeah. And then Black Friday.

And then Black Friday, and then Trove Tuesday. And it's like the holiday season for the Yankees. It's like Thanksgiving to Christmas. It's like just a nonstop. Oh, yeah. You go to school in September, October, and then. For the Yankees, the baseball team? No, they are actually the only ones.

He means the damn Yankees. Yeah, the damn Yankees. Ted Nugent, etc. And three other guys. Did you guys do the Thanksgiving thing? No, I was in Edmonton. We'll get to me in a bit. We should also note

that like we did this summer, we are pre-recording a bunch of episodes as Graham is going to be gone for most of November. Oh. Going out east. There you go. Yeah. Not excited about it in the slightest.

In the eastern part of our country, you can see him. Live on stage. It's going to be cold out east. Yeah. I'm buying a winter jacket this week. Yeah. Like a proper, a real. Because, you know, last winter I went around in like a 70s ski jacket,

and that was cute, but that's not going to work. It's not going to work in the frigid east. So what else is going on? What are you working on? What's going on? What are you working on? What's the most interesting thing that's happened this week? You never told us why you skipped Thanksgiving.

I totally interrupted him. What are you working on? What's the most interesting thing that's happened this week? You never told us why you skipped Thanksgiving. Yeah, I just, you know. I totally interrupted him. The truth is, it's like, you know those excuses you say, I just don't, I didn't feel like it, you know. And then you come up with some excuse. You're like, diarrhea. I was like, oh, I got a cold coming on. But Thanksgiving is a one night commitment. It's not like Christmas where you have an overnight.

Yeah, I don't feel good about it. I don't feel good about it. I don't feel good about this. I have a lot of guilt weighing on my shoulders right now. You came in a little downtrodden today. I had no idea. Yeah, and you know, it's Thanksgiving, but Halloween's coming up. So you're going to go trick-or-treating?

Yeah, with turkey. And there's going to be turkey involved, so hopefully we can get everything. All in one. Little stovetop stuffing. Put on your Frankenstein mask. Scare your mom by jumping out of the pantry. Stovetop stuffing. You have the stovetop stuffing at Thanksgiving?

I've had it at times, yes. My parents always made stuffing and put it in the turkey. They made it themselves. That's what stuffing is, isn't it? No, no, but stovetop stuffing is stuffing that you buy in a box. Add water.

Add water. Boil it. Done in a minute. But then technically, and I'm only going to get really technical here. It's not stuffing. It's not stuffing. Right. Because you didn't actually stuff it.

You can stuff it. You can stuff it. Yeah. Yeah, you can take this. I'm saying. You can take this product and stuff it. Take your criticism. And stuff it. And stuff it. Ouch. Yeah, you could take this. I'm saying. You could take this product and stuff it. Take your criticism. And stuff it.

And stuff it. Ouch. And sometimes when I'm not home to cook dinner for Abby, she will just eat the stovetop stuff. Oh, man. Really? Yeah. Oh, no. I've done that before.

I've done that before. I've made, when I was at my kind of first place, I lived in Vancouver, the big thing was buying, you know, the Maui ribs that you can buy at Safeway? Maui ribs and stovetop stuffing. That was a meal. Not a cheap meal, but a delicious meal. Yeah, yeah. That was like a Sunday night treat.

Why don't people ever put stuffing in an animal's ribs? I guess they do, in a bird's. Never mind. Yeah. Isn't that what, like... Well, I meant, like, a pig. Why don't you stuff a pig I wondered

like who are the jokers they do stuff pigs who are the jokers that like stuff the duck then put the duck into the chicken and then the chicken to the turkey

I have a great a fabulous bit about that this is all gonna tie in wonderfully to the getting to know me I've heard the bit and it's pretty good it is a great bit

but it's it's so awesome that you brought that up cause I told the bit during the weekend. It really didn't go well. Turducken, it's called. That's the short form name of it, is Turducken. It's endorsed mightily by a football commentator.

John Madden? John Madden, yeah. I was going to say Michael Madsen. I was going to say Susie Colbert. So Susie Colbert. Michael Madsen as Mr. Blonde. He has the white dogs. He's my favorite football guy.

He's so intense. But you have to debone everything. That's the trick with the turducken. You can't just throw it in all bony. You can't just buy one of each animal and then just shove them in each other and then just hope for the best. You really have to...

Do they have to be dead first? Mm-mm. No, you just debone them. Yeah. All right, now I wish that you saw Hancock. Graham watched Hancock this weekend. Courtesy of Dave burning it on DVD. You really saved my Saturday afternoon with that.

Yeah. But I still haven't watched it. No. But should we get to know me again? Yeah, let's get to know Dave. All right, but I really just want to hear about Graham. Well, let's get to know me. Nothing really happened to me.

No? No. Did you have Thanksgiving dinner? Yeah. At the rents? Yeah. My brother and his wife and his in-laws and his daughter came up from Seattle, and we had a big brouhaha.

Oh, nice. Yeah. And we stuffed ourselves. Was there alcohol involved during the meal? Yeah, there was. It was an option. I didn't. No, you didn't?

You stayed? Okay. You abstained? Yeah. Did you have to drive that night? Well, I try not to get drunk with my family. I do almost exclusively. No, I mean, I don't only get drunk with my family,

but I always get drunk with my family. You know what I mean? Like, if there's ever a family function, I'm always getting drunk. Yeah. Not to drunk uncle drunk, but give me a few years. Yeah, once you become an uncle. Yeah, I cannot wait. I abstained until last

Christmas, where I just said, yeah, whatever. Let's do this. And it was Christmas dinner, and we had a kind of crazy uncle. Yeah, yeah. There's one. It's awkward to talk to, but once you get a couple pops in you, it's a fun

conversation. You can talk about anything spaced space tourism space space tourism yeah sure well what yeah and suddenly that space tourism takes on like and the great thing i love people when they discuss things that they're never going to have a part of in any way shape or form like what do you think about that you think i should go into space you think i should go? I don't know. I think you'd be bored. I'm considering going. It's space or we're going to go to Spokane again

this year. We haven't decided yet. We're going to have to look at the family budget. Yeah, no, I think drinking with the family, especially at the family dinners, it loosens it up a bit. Oh, my family's already pretty loose. Yeah.

So we don't need any enhancement. No. My family and I all eat mushrooms together. That's how we do it. You trip out. You trip face. We will trip face. And balls.

You trip from your face to your balls. So yeah, it was a fun little weekend watched some hockey, hockey season's back Vancouver I believe creamed my hometown's team in the first game two creamings well one was a creaming

one was a creaming, the other one was by the time this episode comes out Vancouver will be last in standings this is coming out in two weeks. They are going 82-0 this season. Is that right? My prediction. No losses.

No losses. They're that good. The hockey pool you just picked, everybody from the Vancouver Canucks. Everybody. That's the whole. It's only the Canucks. If they keep this pace up, Alex Burrows will have 82 goals. He's good.

He's a good player. Well, he shows a lot of promise at this point. But, yeah, it was a good weekend. How about you? I had the distinct pleasure of being in Edmonton for the past... Wait, what do you guys think of space tourism? Well, I mean, you know... Okay, I would do it.

I would do it if Lance Bass was also doing it. I'm not going to go up there by myself. I would go further. That's what he said. If there was an international committee put together and they said, okay, who's going to colonize Mars? And we need like a handful of people. Raise of hands. I think I would put my hand up.

Yeah. I think I would do my hand up. Yeah. I think I would do an adventure. If you just happen to be at the meeting, like you saw a poster and it said at the public library, Mission to Mars, and you're like, yeah, I'll go to the meeting. Yeah. Maybe I'll put my hand up. Yeah.

And there's beers there and everyone feels loose. Yeah, let's do this. And then immediately regretting the decision afterwards. Who wants to colonize Mars? Your hand shoots up. What's the ratio of men to women on this journey? So when you say Mars, you mean the show Veronica Mars, right? That's what you were thinking.

Is that still on? Nope. What about the other one? The one that we were talking about a couple weeks ago? Life on Mars, the new show. Was that it? The one where he goes back in the time he's a cop in the 70s yeah yeah why is that called life on mars oh because the 70s is i have no idea it's

like it's it's from mars the 70s is for mars and the 80s is for minas they had the david bowie life on mars song that's probably oh that's why david bowie i've never seen that must be it because david bowie aziki Stardust featured very prominently. It's his partner in it. It's a really weird cop show. He's the rough and tumble cop, and he's been teamed up with Ziggy Stardust, who's a bit of a loose cannon. Yeah, it's

half gritty cop show, half glam rock. And Jennifer Connelly's in it, playing the role that she played in Labyrinth. And yeah, it's all... It's a very sexy show. Half the cast of Velvet Goldmine, as well. Very glammy.

And your weekend. Now that we've gotten the funny going. Yeah, now that it's all juiced up. I was in Edmonton doing comedy shows at a comedy club called The Comic Strip. It's a great little comedy club. It's situated in West Edmonton Mall. The world's biggest mall. The world's biggest mall.

I think there's another mall in the States that usurped it size-wise, but it is a huge mall. It has a roller coaster in it. It has a skating rink. It has a huge water park. It's got a pirate ship in the middle of it. It's got submarines. It's got submarines.

It's got submarines. They don't work anymore. They just sit there. They used to have dolphins. They're all dead. No more dolphins. Irreplaceable dolphins. Irreplaceable, one-of-a-kind dolphins.

And this comedy club, good know, good audiences and everything was good. But it was very odd to be, because West Edmonton Mall is in the center of nothing. Like, it's really on the edge of town. There's the mall. And then there's kind of like just. It's just the West, which is wild. It's untamed still. When you roll into it.

Yeah, it's very, it's very, a lot of tumbleweeds um but yeah so i did the show there and uh did a whole week of shows and then the guy who booked me very very nicely like this was meant as kind of a you've come from out of town i was i stayed at a hotel the whole week and uh he said well we'll give you an extra show at the end of the week you know whatever and uh i said yeah of course and it was an urban show which i didn't really that didn't really click in my head instantly because yeah i used to do shows at a place called the urban well it's predominantly white people yeah pretty good shows uh for me uh-huh uh when he said urban he meant almost entirely black you assumed assumed he meant Keith Urban.

Yeah, Keith Urban. I literally thought I would make a Keith Urban joke during the show, but I'm like, why dig a deeper hole for myself? So just when the crowd showed up, it was all almost entirely, would you say African Canadian? Is that the right term? We generally just say black. I find that weird because there's any black people in edmonton because there's there's a lot there's five

vancouver well there's a club's worth in edmonton i can say that uh sold out west edmonton uh completely sold out crowd the host went out they loved the host. He was great. And I, in my head, the guy that booked the club was making fun of me the whole week about how much I was going to bomb. And I was like, no, you know, these people paid. They've come for a comedy show. What do you mean by these people?

Yeah, I mean those people. Okay. Anybody who came was there for a show. Right. and i decided in my head that um you know like i'm not gonna run with any kind of crazy stereotype i think these people are coming out to a comedy show they're gonna enjoy all stripes of comedy because that's what everybody was making fun of me the whole week that they were like, you're super white, your jokes are pretty white,

you're white. And I'm like, yeah, but maybe they're just here to see a comedy show. I could not have been more wrong. I was completely in the wrong. They came for... The host was very interactive and lively and doing jokes. I couldn't understand half of them.

I didn't know what the fuck he was talking about. I went up. I did the one gold joke. It was about turducken. You could hear a pin drop. I think I heard a lady in the back of the room do this. I heard one of those. 15 minutes

of that. Just sweating it out. The crowd not understanding me. I'm understanding them because I know that they hate me. I. And the crowd not understanding me. I'm understanding them because I know that they hate me. So I'm on the same page as them. But they don't get me at all. But I still got paid. And I just left, which was fine.

Man. I got paid and I left. I got paid and I left. It has no effect on my anything. But the night before, there was a huge situation at the bar next door

to the comedy club that a bunch of Canada's military had just come back. Not sure from where. I don't know if it was from Afghanistan or from basic training or what. Some of them were still in the full camo gear, were at the bar next door, basically tore it to

the ground just smashed all these fucking glasses and fucked up the toilets and so the cops had to be called and my brother came out to watch one of the shows and he said he saw that mall security had subdued several of the military which i don't know if that bodes very well for Canada's military that mall security was able to take him down. Well, that was always the big joke was that West Edmonton Mall has more submarines than the Canadian Navy.

And we have tougher military... Well, yeah. I guess so. That bodes well for West Edmonton Mall. I mean, no one's going to mess around there. It's an impenetrable fortress. Yeah. Yeah. Just try and penetrate it.

I tried many times during the weekend. And, you know, this is the first weekend that I've ever eaten at, like, those chain places, like, since I was a kid. Like, Earl's or Chili's or Tony Roma's. They're famous for ribs. Yeah, well, I'm famous for not eating ribs at the moment. And it was fucking terrible. The food at these places. What kind of food court?

I've never been. What kind of food? Is there just a giant food court? Oh, West End to Mall? No, everything's giant. There's a giant food court. And it really is giant describe the julius the julius is orange well it's orange and uh and it's huge and they have these there's

like the fountains it's the food court is but everything in the mall has like a kind of a theme to it so the food court is supposed to look like like a Greek. So it's got like pillars and statues. Like a Greek guy. So he's wearing a lot of jewelry. Now who's being... Don't raise your eyebrows at me. Greeks are white. So what? It's literally about pigment.

Is that it? Yeah, that's right. God damn it. They also invented the Olympics. It's true. And democracy. So then they thought it fitting to include Arby's and New York Fries in their legacy. New York Fries is the friesiest. Arby's is my favorite.

I've never been. Really? Oh, man. Oh, so tasty. Shaved meat. I heard it was powdered meat, and then you just add water and press it. It's so good with curly fries It's to die for

If you have it you will not It's like Lay's chips You can't just have one Arby's burger That's a pretty strong endorsement Very delicious Mark McGuckin for Arby's So there's like a food There's a food court but then there's also

Where the comedy club was it's called Bourbon Street So there's all food court, but then there's also where the comedy club was. It's called Bourbon Street. So there's all restaurants and bars on this thing. People throwing beads at you. Lots of me pulling up my shirt. I got a lot of beads. A lot of beads. But then upstairs is Chinatown, right?

So they have the T&T supermarket. It's upstairs. I bet they do that well. No one does Chinatown like West Edmonton Mall. And then the thing is, I was there by myself the whole week. I was talking to one of the comics. I was like, well, what do you do? What do you do?

You're by yourself. I'm close to West M and Tamale. He's like, well, you can go to the water park. That's fun by myself. That would be the creepiest. That really would be the creepiest shit ever.

It's like, it's just me. It's like the wave pool water park. Yeah. Oh yeah. They got like, they've got huge water slides. Yeah.

No, it's great. If you were there, if you were there, if you were a family man or had a friend. Yeah. Just not by yourself. It'd's great. If you were there, if you were a family man or had a friend. Yeah. Just not by yourself. It would be great.

Yeah. Then there's a whole amusement park in there. There's a huge roller coaster, which you were saying you had a friend that worked there. Yeah. I worked with this makeup artist who was there and witnessed. Witnessed it. Witnessed. Was there.

Witnessed the decapitation of uh the fuck shit the uh riders on this roller coaster i was in the that was like in the late 80s yeah yeah and she she was telling me there she was there for two separate incidences uh of decapitation not decapitation but terrible terribleness every few weeks she was there at whatever bar i guess there's a couple bars there. Oh, yeah, they got some good stories. Just this crazy fight where a guy got stabbed with a beer bottle and then this decapitation thing. And now she's vowed never to go back.

The fights in West Ham tomorrow say this, nightly. Huge, huge bar brawls every night I was there. Not at the comedy club, but in that little Bourbon Street thing, always you'd walk out and either you just missed a bar brawl or there was one just to brew in. And here's the other thing. It's like the Disney

electrical parade, or electric street parade, I don't know. Where people get in fights? No, but it's like every ten minutes? Yeah, on the one. That's it. Yeah. And this was my favorite thing.

Sean LaComber, former guest here on Stop Podcasting Yourself, came out one night. We were having dinner at Tony Roma's, I believe. I had the cheese toast. How's the vegetarian menu? It was cheese toast. That's what it was. So I had that. And he was telling me, we were talking about...

I had sent you a photo of somebody wearing Joker makeup. Right. And we were talking about that. We'll show you the photo after the show. But Sean said that the employment rate in edmonton is so sky high literally anybody can get a job and for an example he pointed out that there is a man that works at one of the restaurants in west edmonton mall he's never seen in public there but there's all these back kind of corridors and there's that's where a lot of the comics hang out between shows and there's a guy who every shift of work paints his face like the joker he works in the kitchen

and that guy's employable in edmonton there's so many jobs that the boss is like that's just crazy makeup he's still washing the dishes yeah so he says like you'll see this guy once a week you know pushing garbage to the grease bin or whatever and he's he's dressed in like it's the most it's the key it's the heat ledger style like the crazy makeup not like a classy yeah why so employable um honestly everybody can get a job in Edmonton. And an apartment. Is it with the full garb, too? Or is it just the paint? He said it was just the paint. And he said he's super polite,

but he's just... He's a joker. Yeah. Yeah. The thing about the photo that we have of this guy is that it exists in a time period pre-Halloween, but post-quite-post, the Batman coming out. So we're trying to pinpoint where this

photo could have been taken. But this guy dresses up like it every day, so maybe it's a thing. Maybe that's what people are doing now. Well, I remember. What's the last time you guys got very excited? Like, when's the last time you saw a movie more than once in the theater? Honestly?

Yeah. Oh, it was tropic thunder was the one actually uh pineapple express twice yeah i've seen tropic thunder twice for me it was dick tracy oh so you're going way back very good movie uh but i was a child yeah so i i don't really uh i did the tropic thunder thing because i saw it with somebody and then uh another friend wanted to see it and i said yeah i'd see you that again i did that style you weren thing because I saw it with somebody and then another friend wanted to see it and I said, yeah, I'd see that again. I did that style. You weren't obsessing over it.

No, but the one movie that I did bring... Wait, did Arachnophobia come out after Dick Tracy? Maybe Arachnophobia. Actually, maybe Gladiator. Oh, I didn't like Gladiator. Well, you weren't as gay as I was. The one movie that I took a lot of friends to was Napoleon Dynamite. Well, you weren't as gay as I was. The one movie that I took a lot of friends to was Napoleon Dynamite.

Because before it was well known. Right. When it was still an undiscovered gem, I brought a lot of friends to it. It was a lot of fun. But then when it blew up, it got very annoying very quickly. It's unfortunate. The worst movie I've seen twice in the theater, the movie Instinct, starring Anthony Hopkins and Cuba Gooding Jr.

Ooh. It's forgettable. Yeah. What was it about? Hopkins is just this crazy dude. Is that where Hopkins, he's got long hair, and they bust him out? Or is that The Rock?

Oh, that's Sean Connery. Yeah. Terrible movie. Do not watch it. Instinct or The Rock? Oh, that's Sean Connery. Terrible movie. Do not watch it. Instinct or The Rock? Oh, Rock's awesome. I recommend The Rock, having never seen it. Really? Yeah.

Enjoyable. Enjoyable action film. Better than Gone in 60 Seconds? Hard to say. That's tough. That's a tough one. What is that movie about, Instinct? What was that about?

Hopkins plays this primal character, kind of like a twist on the Hannibal Lecter thing, and he's this crazy dude that knows stuff, and Cuba Green Jr. is trying to get this info out of him. Wow. And, yeah, I want to shoot myself, but somehow I saw it twice. Nice.

I've seen Muriel's Wedding about six times. Never in the theater. No, no, no. On Super Channel when I was on holiday with my family. Right. In the OK Noggin. OK. Shall we move on to some overheards?

Before we do, should we do a couple shout-outs? Sure. We have some shout-outs to give. Well, I'll give a shout-out, and then some of these are overheards, but we got a message from a youth named Andrew Johnston. The email goes, my name is Andrew. I have a Siamese cat named Tiki who likes to fight me. Or like the joke about the dad who ate a lot in Bellingham. That was kudos to you, Dave. Geez, fan mail must be lame.

Well, yeah. I mean, well, not so far. For the record, he's the one who wrote, geez, fan mail must be lame. I'm not saying that, yeah. Anyways, shout out to Andrew Johnston. Absolutely. Thank you so much for listening, Andrew Johnston.

Andrew Johnston. Johnston. Johnston. Johnstone. Also, we got a message from Johnston Andrew Johnston Johnston Johnstone Johnstone Also We got a message from A guy named Ben Gold Who Listening to the last podcast Said

I would like to volunteer To be the podcast's Official American listener I will start by saying Donkey basketball Is an American thing But it's only done By stupid Americans

I like that That clears up's only done by stupid Americans. I like that. That clears up something. I think by stupid Americans. I think you should have emphasized stupid. Well, next time you print them out and read them. All right. I mean, you know, if you want to handle fan mail duty, by all means. So Ben wants to be our official American listener.

I don't know if I'm ready to bestow that time I think it's time for a contest yeah oh hey I like it if you let's do that if you think that you've got the chops if you think you've got what it takes to be our official

American listener because we have quite a few American listeners a lot of people who enjoy the show from Tulsa all the way to Kalamazoo. From middle America to middle America. I don't think we're very big in middle America. I'm just saying Tulsa is about as central as you can go. That's what I said.

Tulsa to Kalamazoo. In there. Right. You have to live in a blue state to be a part of this. Red. No, you can live in a red state. You just can't wear the color red because we're bloods and that's crypt colors.

We don't believe in crossing the two. We don't believe in crossing the streams. Wait, are the bloods and crypts, did they bust ghosts? Yeah, yeah. At times. Okay, they started out busting ghosts, then they busted all the ghosts, and then they turned on each other. Right, right, right.

And that's what they meant by crossing the streams. Don't cross the streams. Because it was fine when they were busting ghosts. But once they got rid of... We're going to get murdered. Probably. We? I don't know.

Just me. Just me. We, Mark. I think we know who brought this up. Damn it. But if you think you got what it takes to be our official American listener, send us a message to stoppodcastingyourselfatgmail.com in 140 characters or less.

And explain to us why you think you can be our official American listener. Moving on, let's do some overheards. Overheard. Overheard, all right. Do you want to start off with a guess, Mark? Are you interested in starting this round of overheard? Yeah, I have a little story that I did overhear. Take your time.

I have a little story that I did over here. Take your time. It involved someone who we had on our road hockey show that no one watched, but that's fine. I watched season one. I love it. Not for negotiation. But it's – and I'm going to give this person a pseudonym. Let's call him Ronnie.

Let's call him Ronnie. He was on our show. He was very extroverted. Was it Ron Howard? It was Ron Howard. It might have been Ron Howard. Bad pseudonym. But picture this guy. He just loves...

Was it Ronnie Wood of the Rolling Stones and Faces? It actually was Ron Harper, the basketball player. Oh, wow. It was this guy named Ronnie. Right. And he's this, he's just, he loves debauchery. He loves pushing things to the limit. I think I know who you're talking about.

Partying hard. And he actually had a brief stint in the NHL before he got kind of kicked out for stepping on toes and bad attitude and whatnot. Stepping on toes in his skates. Link Gates. Yeah, exactly. And so we did an episode with this guy, and then we went to another town, and we did this episode of whatever. There's this player who knew, who played with this Ronnie, and he's like, I have a story you're going to love. So this guy starts telling this story about Ronnie.

And Ronnie, as I mentioned, into debauchery. And his dad, Ronnie Sr., same last name. They're called like Sr. and Jr. Ronnie Sr. is equally as debaucherous in this passed down lineage. So anyways, they're over in England at a hockey tournament. And Ronnie Jr.'s in his 20s. In England, hockey is called football. Yes, correct.

Everything else is called crisps. And so they're sharing this hotel room, Ronnie Jr. and Ronnie Sr. And Friday night, Ronnie Sr.'s in bed. How old is Ronnie Jr. and Ronnie Sr. And Friday night, Ronnie Sr. is in bed. How old is Ronnie Jr.? Ronnie Jr. is at this point mid-20s. Mid-20s and Ronnie Sr. is in his 50s. So Ronnie Jr. brings this girl back to his hotel room where his dad is sleeping. So there's two beds in the room.

So Ronnie Jr. does this girl and tries to be quiet and discreet. hotel room where his dad is sleeping in a bed so there's two beds in the room so ronnie jr too bad that's this girl tries to be quiet and discreet just put just put a sock on the lamp yeah next to you so so they him and this girl start just quietly going at it in in bed and uh they're going at they're going at it and um then r Jr. hears something going on in the bed beside him. Oh, no. Turns on the light. Ronnie Sr. is, how do I say this, gratifying himself to his own son and a lady friend going at it. Wow.

And that is the tale I overheard. Wow. Which apparently was truth. That's, so, wow. Yeah. So the son woke up to see. Well, the son was doing it with the girl. And in the mid, he was hearing something in the room.

Yeah. And the dad was... Wow. Did either of them finish? I don't... I hope so. Like... Wow!

Yeah, it's like... These people exist. That was my kind of revelation to her. They exist in droves. I was in West Edmonton Mall for the whole week. I saw them. They were there. That is a tall tale.

No lie. It's a tale as old as time. Sorry. Song as old as rhyme. Beauty and Beauty's dad. But that's England. That's what happens in England. But they weren't English.

They were Canadian. No, but once you cross the border, all bets are off. what happens in England. It's off the rails over there. They were Canadian. Once you cross the border, all bets are off. What happens in England? Dave? My overheard is a little less salacious. But every bit is debaucherous.

In fact, it's not an overheard at all. It's an overseen. You hear more with your eyes than you do with your ears. Yeah, I'm kind of a visual learner. That's why I'm so good with braille. Wait, no. I'm a sensuous learner. Yeah, that's why you're so good with candles.

Yeah. I'm a romantic learner. Yeah. Anyway, yeah. I'm a romantic learner. Yeah. Anyway, yeah. So I was walking past, behind the Kingsgate Mall, Vancouver's 60th greatest mall.

I think it's Vancouver's premier dirt mall, is what I would say. It's got everything in there. Pimp store, hooker store, right across from each other. Yep. Right? The best possible, like, everything else in there is kind of drab, but there's literally a store where you can buy all kind of...

All your Rayon party shirts. But you can buy the suits. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a full pimp suit store right across from where hookers would buy their crazy wrestling, like, thigh-high boots. Yeah. Yeah. For wrestling.

All reasonably priced. Nothing in the whole mall. The most expensive thing in the entire mall are razor blade cartridges. That's why they're under lock and key at the House of Knives in Kingsgate Mall. But I was walking

behind the Kingsgate Mall and But I was walking behind the Kingsgate Mall, and I must have passed this truck many, many times without noticing it. And then I noticed it. It was called... It was a truck, a moving truck. It said, Fitzpatrick's Moving, and it had a clover leaf,

because I assume they're Irish, the Fitzpatricks, and their slogan was Friends After the Move. Like after you're done, they come in and like, we got a six pack, let's move.

It's like they're moving your TV and they're like, yeah, it was a pretty nice TV. Watching the game later. Or that you can only pay them in beer and pizza. Yeah. Or that during the move, they will be very unfriendly. But just so you know,

we'll be friends after the move. Or during the move, they're very professional, but then after the move, they'll break your stuff. Just like your friends would. Yeah. Also the drywall. So we really spitballed a lot of good ideas as to what Friends After the Move means. That was really good.

And let's move on. Okay, the overheard I heard last night. There was a fight, again, at West Edmonton Mall in the parking lot. And this, let me set the stage, because it really was quite beautiful. It was, you know, four guys, early 20s, I'm guessing, kind of dressed up, gussied up, like this was a big night out on the town. I saw a lot of shopping bags had been strewn all over the ground. So obviously they'd been in the mall all day.

People had been strewing. Yeah. Things had boiled over. And like, these are guys, they're in their goods. There was one guy wearing a suit with a baseball hat. Is it a pimp suit from a pimp suit store? No, it's just a regular suit, but the baseball hat turned

slightly askew. I thought it was out of place. But anyways, there's two guys getting in a fist fight in the parking lot. And you know, girls screaming. The typical scenario. So there was two guys and they were punching each other in the head and wrestling and and so that was fun enough to watch um but it is one of those constant reminders that a punch doesn't sound anything like a punch in a movie right it really sounds like a wet gross kind of bacon-y sound.

But there was the one guy in the suit with this skew baseball cap was just screaming to nobody in particular, don't make me do this! Why are you making me do this? But the only thing it seemed to be making him do was standing there saying, why are you making me do this? He didn't at any point get in.

He was doing the pre-Hulk thing, like, don't make me angry. Don't make me angry. I'm going to go home. He didn't actually Hulk out. Oh, you didn't make me. Oh, good. Yeah, why are you making me do this? Don't make me do this.

And then he didn't actually do anything. So that was my overheard from last night. Terrific. Also, we have- Did anyone write in with an overheard yeah um we have a couple should i just read one yeah yeah we have we sure well we threw it to mark and mark seemed uh impressed by that just the oh yes the detail this one this is from somebody named graham donahoe and uh he wrote uh i was walking home last week and passed by three kids about eight years old and a guy about 30 years old standing in the street. The guy was holding a puppy and the kids asked what the dog's name was.

The guy said, well, we had three names to choose from, Otis, Max, and Dogamus Prime. The guy then raised his voice and shouted, so obviously we named him Dogamus Prime. The guy then raised his voice and shouted, So obviously we named him Dogamus Prime! He then raised the puppy above his head and yelled, Dogamus Prime! Up, up and away!

He ran across the street and into his house and slammed the door. Right when he slammed the door, I could hear a girl inside the house scream, You're retarded. That ruled. That's untouchable. How dare she judge him

like that? That's the funnest thing ever. Up, up, and away! I think he was mixing his... Yeah, Dracubus Prime would never say up, up, and away. And then he ran away from... Yeah, The Talk of His Prime would never say up, up, and away. And then he ran away from the kids is my favorite part. And then slammed the door. He ran home like a crazy person.

And ruined his young daughter's life. And not a retarded person like the woman accused him of. We have plenty more overheads, and we will split them up over weeks to come. What do we want to do next? We can do some stunt casting. Let's do some stunt casting. Are you an actor? Are you looking for work?

Stunt casting. Stunt casting. Stunt. Stunt casting. Powder. Danny DeVito. Taxi Cab the movie. Danny Glover.

Martin Short. Anyone in the movie pure luck. Stunt casting. Okay, so we decided on Night Court. Night Court. The Thursday night NBC staple. If anyone would like to hear a fun version of that song, you should download a song by Cam'ron.

I believe it's called Horse and Carriage Remix. I might be wrong. And also, if you'll go back many, many podcasts, you'll hear that that was the theme song to being in New York when I was there many moons ago. Yes. Every time that I was riding the subway system, that song... The steam was coming out of the...

Rang in my head as clear as I was watching. Because it was the opening bass thing. Yeah. And immediately you knew the show was taking place at night. Do-do. Do-do. Do-do. And immediately you knew the show was taking place at night. Yeah, and you knew that Harry Anderson was going to do some sort of magic trickery. Yeah. Okay, so here are the people, the characters on Night Court.

Now, there were two, I believe, two eras of Night Court with two sets of characters, so I'm not sure where one ends and the next begins. I think we're all, we can all be on the same page that we're all fans of the Marshall Warfield era. Sure. Yeah. There was Harry. Judge Harry T. Stone. Judge Harry T. Stone. Played by Harry Anderson.

There was Dan Fielding, played by John Larroquette, not to be confused with podcast celebrity Jonathan Larroquette. Who's podcast celebrity Jonathan Larroquette? I believe it's his son. Really? Yeah. Oh.

There's Court Clerk Mack Robinson. Yeah. Played by Charles Robinson. Yeah. He did a lot of last name acting. He's the opposite of Tony Danza. No, he's the opposite of Harry Anderson. Right.

This was one of those shows where they didn't want them to stretch too much. The writers were super lazy. Richard Moll. Moll? M-O-L-L. Did he have a last name? Shannon. Bull Shannon? According to IMDb, the character's name is

Bailiff Nostradamus Bull Shannon. Nostradamus. Yeah, I believe it. Why would IMDb lie to us? Okay. Chip Cash. Marky Post? Sassy...

She was the prosecutor. She was the district attorney, if I recall correctly. No, John Larroquette was, I believe. Wait. No, no, yeah. She was the defense. The public defender. Yeah, and he was always the prosecutor. Right, right, right. Oh, okay. So he was the DA. Yeah. The intricate workings of Night Court. Yes. For our younger listeners uh night court if you've not heard of it that's fine because it was just a really it's basically if a podcast is going to be done in the year 20 say 2028 and people are making wayward references to the

sweet life of zach and cody same level of fucking entertainment shitty barely passable entertainment you can find clips of it on youtube but it was about a court that happened at night okay and it was supposed to be funny and like john learcat was a horny guy and harry was the judge he was a magician yeah and bull was like a big he was like a monstrous also horny bull no no he was like a big, he was like a monstrous. He was also horny. Bull? No. No, he was like, he was a, there was no sexuality to him at all. Right. He was like a monster. Mild-mannered. And dumb.

Yeah, and dumb. And then like Marshall Warfield was kind of the sidekick. And then like the clerk guy, he had like no, he really didn't have any big role in the show. And Marky Post was like the uptight, you know. Feminista. Yeah, but always being pursued by horny dan yeah on every episode anyway so yeah uh well i just thought i'd throw out that disclaimer out there because there's probably a good chance that a lot of people haven't seen this but they did

they did throw in that 30 jokes per minute like it was joke joke joke joke yeah a lot of laughs and uh like a lot of kids that probably went to the Miami Vice movie and never seen Miami Vice, the TV show. I include myself in that batch. I've still to this day never seen Miami Vice, the TV show. Yeah. And the movie's terrible, too. Well, I'm not a big fan of these remake things.

I like casting them, though. Okay, so let's cast this. So that's the arrow we're going do we're not gonna do the other old old lady smoking a cigarette but what i what here's what i'm envisioning is a scene that we write in wherein the old lady comes back as a ghost to visit bull her old friend yeah so this is this is night court the movie Yeah, not a new TV show. People are too savvy now, what, with their gossip girls?

They're not going to fall for this Night Court shenanigans. All right, shall we start with... Shall we work our way up to Harry? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He'll be the... He's the... Yeah. Well, actually, I think he's the penultimate.

I think that John Larroquette is the key character. For me... For me, it would be Bull. Okay, well, let's save Bull for last. Why don't we save everyone for last? Okay, let's just call it... Let's have a break. All right, well, let's start with the most minor, minor of characters.

Clerk, what was his name? That would be Clerk Mack Robinson. Mack Robinson, played by uh justin long now do we have to keep everyone of the same ethnicity not necessarily i think if you can find somebody that you think epitomizes the uh the role of the clerk maybe maybe like you have a stint in acting david robinson the basketball player the The Admiral. That's pretty good. He's charismatic. He can give us some lines.

The only problem with it is... He's extremely tall. And Bull has to be the tallest member of the cast. And actors are generally short. Let's not rule out the possibility of CGI. Or George Mirison. Well, George Mirison, he has the height, but not the charm. I think we can both.

But he's our giant. Yeah. I think we learned that. Yeah. I will, let's say, okay, Mac. Mac. Okay, Mac. Well, the big thing I remember about Mac is he's kind of short and squat,

and he had a gap in his teeth and a mustache. I think we don't necessarily need a gap in his teeth that's and a mustache i i think we we don't necessarily need a gap madonna david letterman um can we cgi in a gap is that possible yeah oh yeah oh okay so the i think we'll blow half the budget on max oh what was that movie with uh it had to be like 96 with like burt reyurt Reynolds and the black kid and they were like cops Oh cops and Roberson's what was it that no yeah cop and a half yeah cop and a half oh I'm cop and a half and the kid from hot cop and a kid from cotton cop and a half who is now older now yeah probably

okay so the kid from cop and a half. Or maybe the kid from Ghostwriter. The black guy. Sheldon Turnipseed. Sheldon Turnipseed? That's the only reason I remember him is because of his last name. That is not his name. Was it Turnipseed? Ghostwriter.

Writer, not writer. Writer. Writer, yeah. I remember Ghostwriter. Yeah. Ghostwriter starring Joseph Turnipseed. No, Sheldon Turnipstein. Sheldon Turnipstein. What?

As Jamal. Because there were only two possible names for black kids. Wasn't AC Slater's brother on that show? Tyrone. Okay. I'm happy with Cop and a Half Kid. Yeah, but I'm not opposed to the Ghostwriter Kid.

You know what? Let's get them to do a screen test. We'll see who does better. All right. We'll get them to come in and do a reading. Okay, so we've got our possible match. If either of them, if their last name is Robinson. I know Sheldon Turnipseed's last name is Turnipseed. I think I would just like to see that in the credits more than anything.

Turnipseed. It's an adorable last name. I want to get that last name. Yeah. Well, it's weird because where did that name come from? Yeah. The mind reels. Does it?

Is that what the mind does? Okay, so we got either Sheldon Turnip Seed or Copson Roberson's Kid. Okay. Top and a half, yeah. Yeah. Sorry. Yeah. Chevy Chase is who you're thinking of.

Yeah, you're thinking of Chevy Chase. No, I'm thinking of Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man. Oh, you're thinking of Don Johnson. Yeah. Yeah. Sorry. Yeah. Chevy Chase is who you're thinking of. Yeah, you're thinking of Chevy Chase. No, I'm thinking of Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man. Oh, you're thinking of Don Johnson. Yeah. Okay, so who do we have next, then? We've got, let's go with Marshall Warfield. Marshall Warfield. Sassy, tough-edged.

Monique. Ooh, almost out of the gates, I think, nailing it. Monique. Monique. Yeah, yeah, it Monique yeah yeah the last yeah no I like money oh no what's um what's the gal's name not it's not Monique similar like large very very kind of a big bigger woman Monique is fat maybe I'm thinking of Monique but for the record

was Monique very sassy? yeah on the Parkers was she on? that's the one I'm thinking of I once read a Starbucks cup where she referred to herself as fat but it stands for fabulous and thick

there's your oh so it's the double as fat, F-A-T, but it stands for fabulous and thick. Oh, so it's the double F-A-T? Yeah, F-A-T. No, I would never. Okay, so fabulous and what? Talented? Thick. Oh, thick. But thick was spelled T-H-I-C-K-E.

It was fabulous Alan Thicke That's actually what it stands for He is fabulous Jason Seaver If I'm ever asked to be in another yearbook That's going to be my quote Fat If you're ever asked to

I was once I can't see why it wouldn't happen again I can't think of one reason. Are we happy with Monique? Yes, Monique. No one's really ever been happy with Monique. Until now, this Night Court remake. Monique, I like.

I like already. We got the kid from Gob and a Half, maybe, if you'll say yes. Who do we have next on the docket? Okay, Marky Post. Okay. She's Post. Okay. She's got to be prudish. She's got to be business-minded. She's a blonde.

Yeah, business-like. Pretty. She was pretty. But not... She wasn't hot. Overly. Yeah, she was cute. I'm thinking...

I don't think this is going to be right. Calista Flockhart. Just kind of. I'm thinking Ally McBealy's. Yeah, she had the right stuck up kind of nature. But I think we can go more business-like. Yeah. More looks better in a script suit.

Yeah, I think perfect if you went back in time and got Meg Ryan. Not now Meg Ryan, because that would ruin the show. She's got old cat face. Or if you go back in time and get Marky. Not now Meg Ryan, because that's... That would ruin the show. That would ruin the show. Or if you could go back in time and get Marky Post. Yeah, okay. You're right. What would be considered a latter day Meg Ryan?

Like, would a Renee Zellweger fall in that? Like a cute, attractive... Where else do we go? Where else do we go in the cute? If you kind of like sprinkle magic talent dust over

Gwen Stefani, maybe. She's too cute. Yeah, and not business-like at all. I mean, you gotta picture somebody who's dressing in like a pantsuit. Like, what about the girl that used to be on Law & Order, who was Jack McCoy's assistant who had the... She's married to the football player.

Oh, Angie Harmon. Angie Harmon. But she had like a blonde dye job. No? No good? I'm just... What about a Jill Hennessey? How about a Jill Hennessey? She's all business.

Who's Jill Hennessey? She's on Crossing Jordan. Oh, yeah. You better not cross Jordan. I'm not gonna. Yeah, but Marky Post wore those big brown shoulders. No? Okay, no. Somebody more... Ooh, how about...

I know we've used her, I think, before in the past, but Reese Witherspoon. Yeah, Reese Witherspoon or Rachel McAdams. Oh, yeah. Rachel McAdams. Oh, yeah. Rachel McAdams. You're warmer here. Yeah, I think Rachel McAdams has the cuteness,

and she could be business. Yeah. Like a Maggie Gyllenhaal? No, is that going too far in the other direction? Yeah, I kind of don't know what Markie Post is. She's a little enigmatic, so I don't know. Well, she's like a Shelley Long. Really is what she is. Markie Post is. She's a little enigmatic. She's like a Shelley Long. Really is what she is.

Markie Post is a Shelley Long. If there was a paradigm shift in her career, Hilary Duff wearing stuff by Duff still, but like a new kind of... I love stuff by Duff. I like the Hilary Duff, but why don't we bump it one down to Haley Duff?

Yes. Can we all agree to Hayley Duff yes can we all agree that Hayley Duff is kind of the perfect we've already cast her before as DJ Tanner in Full House she would be very good in that Hayley Duff is one of our go to's

we're kind of like Quintero Tito that way we're like the Coen brothers. We work with the same talent that we know can pull off. You know what? Why not just Francis McDormand? Yeah, okay. Actually, that's not that bad.

It's not, but I think Haley. No, you know what? I'm going to argue for Francis McDormand. Now that you say it, now that it's on the table, I really like it. Okay. Can we say Francis McDormand? Sure, sure. Oh, now that it's on the table, I really like it. Okay. Can we say Francis McDormand? Sure. Oh, this is a good cast so far. And a cast that's going to get along, I can tell.

Who do we go to next? Either Dan, Bull, or Harry. Let's go to Harry. Okay. Harry was the judge. The judge. Magic. Charismatic. Friendly. David Blaine. Are we going to Oh, yeah. Chris Angel... Blaine? Angel? No, Angel's too...

Teller? Copperfield? No, too European? Wait, that's not magic. Either Penn or Teller. You know what? One of those guys could pull it off, because he was supposed to be a magician, but goofy. Right. Ooh, what about Carrot Top carrot top no because that would fall in line but but he would he did

lots of modern plant on it and that's uh harry used to do a lot of prop work yeah he used to bring out a prop about marty putz i'm not sure who marty putz is see the guy with the mustache he was the guy on who's always on make the guy who was always on Make Me Laugh, who was the prop comic. But yeah, I don't mind no Carrot Top. Carrot Top? Yeah, Carrot Top could work. Okay, so we got our Carrot Top as the judge.

Now, John Larroquette. Silver Fox. That's a tough one. Silver Fox. Horny. Yeah, I mean, well-dressed. Yeah. Sam Waters.

Very sarcastic This can't just be all law and order Pitches Oh okay I was just thinking I was thinking like a Richard Gere style haircut Ooh ooh ooh

What do you call that guy That's on Mad Men What do you call him Oh yeah yeah yeah Roger is the character The guy with the Yeah with the gray hair Roger yeah

That guy would be the perfect Honest to God He is the character. The guy with the gray hair. Roger, yeah. That guy would be the perfect, honest to God, he's the best possible guy for Dan. He's got to get some comic zingers in there. But I think he could do it. Yeah, yeah, he does have that just fucking... Yeah, all his comic zingers are about being horny. He's got the swagger. Yeah. Totally.

So I think that one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, what's his name? It's not important John C. Madman John Slattery was the name John Slattery yes Okay finally

The linchpin of the night court Scenario Giant, bald Very important I think anyone can be bald He has to have a nicely shaped head. And he's got to be goofy, and he's got to be very... He's got to have a sloped brow.

Yeah, he's got to be kind of confused. Remember the wrestler Goldberg? Goldberg! I think Goldberg's about 5'3". He could play that role, though. I really do like Goldberg right out of the gates. That is good. That is really good.

He comes with the pre-shaved head. I like that. He used to play for the BC Lions. Did he? He did. He had a stint with the Lions. Did he ever put anybody in a leg lock? I don't know. He didn't last long. He would just run at you and tackle you.

Like a special move. I don't think it did last long. What was his special move? It was like, he would just run at you and tackle you. A spear. Like a spear tackle. Right. Wow. Goldberg or someone else. Oh, well, okay. No, because he's got to be giant if we keep with the wrestlers.

Unless we do the CGI. What about the big show? That guy, he was big. Yeah, but I prefer Goldberg. Shave his head. I like the Goldberg variation. With CGI, we could use Verne Troyer. But he can't act. What about Marky Post as Bull?

She's back. She's back. She's older. She's taller. Shaved head. What about Kyra? Thanks? I don't know why i like that but i do i somehow remember seeing a picture of her with a cgi shaved head yeah tyra banks markie post tyra banks she's got this would be this third show she'd be like going on at one time she could her schedule handle it yes okay yeah she's busy I still like Goldberg though that really feels right

Goldberg the star of wrestling he was also in Universal Soldier 2 yeah yeah I'd be the nice like that finally finally, the bailiff that was... We decided to write in a scene in the movie whereby the original bailiff, there's an old lady, comes back to visit Bull in a dream sequence. Right. Yeah, yeah, right.

So we need an old, really raspy, tough nut. It's hard. I mean, Cloris Leachman is on everyone's lips right now. Yeah. I think she steals it. Is she still alive? Yeah. She's on Dancing with the Stars. Yeah, Cloris Leachman is on everyone's lips right now. I think she steals it. Is she still alive? Yeah, she's on Dancing with the Stars. Yeah, Cloris Leachman? Can we all agree with that?

Oh, man. Well, Greenlight? Greenlight. Wow, we are the easiest studio in the world. We greenlight a lot of things that don't get made. This could be the one that brings down the whole studio. Well, what are you thinking? what would you want to do let's let's do another time travel segment i don't know if we had a name for it but it's about time travel time travel let's play the theme song i'm going back in time yay mark m! Mark McGuckin, we talked about, it started out fairly innocuously a couple episodes ago.

You've probably had this conversation before. If you had one shot. Mm-hmm. At time travel. One shot. One shot. At time travel. Oh, okay.

What does Mark McGuckin do with his one shot? Chance to blow. Where, like, where, could I, do I have to be in East Vancouver? No. No, no, no. We've decided to, that it can be a space and time travel. Okay. So you can go anywhere.

And you can go in the future? And the past. Yeah, anywhere. But it's one shot. One shot time travel. And you get to come back. It's a one shot round trip. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, no way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, no way. I would do, just out of pure, I want to know how his mind works and what he was up to and how he got stuff into his head. We mentioned Bull's character name, Nostradamus, being his name. Going back in time

with a translator to Nostradamus' house and... Can he bring a translator? I don't think that's part of the deal. I would have to learn the language. I can't say that then. You're so lazy. You're such a tourist.

Study for this and then do work and then head back. You're not going to do any advanced learning to go back and find out. Do I have the knowledge that I have now? Yes. So I could go back in time and bet on a sporting event or something? That seems to be a popular, that seems to be a popular, we call that the Biff theme.

Okay, okay, okay. I won't cop out and do that. Wow, man. You want to go back in time and talk to Nostradamus. Yeah, I do want to do that If I knew the language So study some shit And get into it

Wait is Nostradamus the hunchback of Notre Dame Yeah Yeah it kind of But I would love to learn these riddles Nostra like what are you getting at Nostra The nickname for Nostradamus No the shortened form of for nostradamus no the shortened form

of nostradamus yeah bull yeah and if there was any if there's any like palm reader like you know in the past he could do a good job like he could tell my future pretty good i think but what if you go back and then you realize that he is just a craziness. Oh, man. Well, then steal some of his stuff and come to the future and sell it. He'll be in mint condition. Good call. That's a good call.

But you're going back to meet a guy who wrote down all his shit. Yeah. So he's not going to give you any private predictions. Yeah. Well, maybe I can influence his mind and say, you know, this happened. Maybe, you know. I want to go back and you want to improve Nostradamus' reputation. Yeah, this is the man.

Because he's got no specific. So you're just going to write down, like, sporting event things or just local, you know, Thunderbenders. Five over four, like, on Saturday night. Fender benders. Yeah. You know, yeah, things that happened just that were fairly innocuous at the time. Yeah, yeah. Jason Priestley gets in a car accident, like, at this time.

Charlie Sterron wins an Oscar. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. You know, stuff like that. So that you make him the most, like, pinpoint yeah guy on the most miscellaneous shit and then he says like on may 11th 1981 this boy was born and like blow myself out of you know you know make myself bigger than i am so when i come back to the future i'm like king of the world where can people send birthday presents oh man to Nostradamus no to you May 11th yeah May 11th 2009 where

just send them to the podcast we'll forward them to Mark McGuckin care of podcast I like everything too you can send anything it doesn't matter anything from a six pack of Kool-Aid

pouches all the way up to a lawn chair. Gently used. Yeah. Set of knives. Most of the knives. Yeah. Sharp things. Yeah.

Tacks, knives, lawn darts. You do a lot of cutting. Yeah. He's a cutter. He's a cutter of melons I had a friend growing up Who liked to make a giant ball Like a big ball of tape And stick nails out It's almost like a throwing star

But it's a ball of nails Like a mace And throw against trees So gifts like that Homemade weaponry Send your pipe bombs Send your pipe bombs and potato guns to podcast care of street unknown where the undertaker lives

341 Undertaker Street Death Valley Death Valley Parts Unknown I think if you're a wrestler I think you can How hard do you Like when you sign up

To the WWF Do you have to Like they really don't Ask more than one question Where are you from Parts Unknown Do you have like Any identification

No No But I do have This shrunken head That I carry around for every match. And a California driver's license. Unless you're a macho man and it's like Sarasota, Florida. Write it down. That's where I'm from.

Yeah, I liked... Hulk Hogan. Venice, California. Oh, can we take a break to talk about Brooke Hogan's show? Oh, yeah. It's getting really... I don't know if anybody's seen it recently. I watched it like four times.

Brooke Knows Best. Yeah, Brooke Knows Best, right? Her dad has really... Who's her dad? Huh? Who's her dad? All I know is she got famous on her own. I was going to try and make some other Hogan reference,

but I couldn't think of another famous Hogan. Paul? Yeah. Oh, damn it. But Hulk Hogan makes repeated appearances on Brooke's show, but unnaturally so. He just keeps shoehorning himself into her show, now that his show is done.

Yeah. So it'll be like she's at home, and then he'll call her on the sofa and there just happens to be a car in his limo and he'll be like hey in his limo? yeah oh did I say car I meant camera sorry and then you know so whatever the whole

basis of the last episode was the most boring basis for an episode Brooke got a tattoo and she didn't want her dad to find out she's like 45 or whatever she is. It's irrelevant. She's not still living in the house. She's not Alyssa Milano with a hickey.

Exactly. She's not going to get grounded. And her dad's crazy, but there's one point in the show where his dad was playing with her hair. What? Yeah. Like braiding it? No, he was just like, ooh, it feels nice. That's what he said. You get extensions?

You get extensions? I'm thinking of getting plugs. He's really bald now. Remember when we saw that? He's really bald. What was he, like, doing his toenails or something? What? He's, like, super bald. Like, before he was always bald, but now

he's just down to, like, the very perimeter of fringe. But he's still hanging on to it. He's still hanging on to, like, the fringe. Yeah, it's still super bald. Before he was always bald, but now he's just down to the very perimeter. But he's still hanging on to it. It's still super long, but really there's nothing else there. It's really cute. Here's what I was watching on TV today. On channel 319. You know how at Christmas

they will show... ESPN 20. At Christmas they will show... ESPN 20. At Christmas they will show... There'll just be a channel that has a fireplace. Oh, is this a turkey? It was the channel that just had a turkey in front of a fireplace. I tried to turn that into some sort of stand-up comedy material last year when it happened because... It was too funny because it was too true.

Well, it was too true because a fireplace, you can leave it in the background and it's innocuous enough. It's kind of cute. But a turkey, you can't trick yourself into thinking that there's an actual turkey in the room while you're eating a... Is it a live turkey walking around? Yeah, yeah, yeah. An actual turkey. No, that's not true.

What? It's a turkey in front of a fireplace. Isn't it a stuffed turkey? No, no. It's an actual turkey walking around in front of fireplace isn't it a stuffed turkey no no it's an actual turkey walking around in front of a fireplace strutting his shit like he owns the place well i think he does own the place he had a rich owner do you hear about there's like a turkey at harvard university that they uh they i guess they pick a turkey every year and but they just let it roam around campus and like all these people are like this turkey's a menace they had an interview with all these people on campus like this turkey's a menace. They had an interview with all these people on campus. They're like, this turkey's a menace.

And I was like, I know the surefire solution. It's delicious. It's not like a panther where you're like, if we kill it, then what do we do with it? With a turkey, the answer is, and it was a big one, too. I went to the University of Victoria, and that camp they have rabbits it's covered in rabbits yeah yeah yeah it's kind of great infestation did i tell you about what happened in colonna maybe there was no there's a huge rabbit explosion there like no like population like it populated no there was somebody blew up some rabbits actually that's kind of where the

story goes and i'm not joking uh they brought in this this guy to try and call the herd and so he was he was shooting them and uh he he mortally wounded one but didn't oh no kill it so in front of and this was in the middle of the day mind you where there were plenty of witnesses, stomped it to death. What? Yeah, for real. Stomped it? Stomped it to death. How many steps did he have to take? I don't know. How many steps did it take to reach the inside of a tootsie roll

pop? I don't know. About as many as it takes to crush in the head of a rabbit. 100. Wait, was he a member of Stomp? Or Tap Dog? Yeah, no, yeah. It was his practicing for stomp um tap dogs can oh jesus stomp well like i don't know where i heard it but i heard like somebody like asking the question like what would you go see if you saw a whole show of stomp like this

isn't my own premise i've heard it else, but that literally did make me think, like, if you went to go see Stomp, it's fine in, like, a five-minute chunk. Would you watch an hour and a half of that? Garbage cans and fucking umbrellas and shit just flying all over the place and making clackety noises for an hour? Like, it's novel for, you know, a 30-second commercial. I think you get lulled in, and also you're on tons of drugs. You're on lots of meth.

My microphone is really crackling out so we should start ending this one. Let's send this one off to the Archives of Canada Broadcasting Excellence and Mark McGuckin thanks for coming in and being a guest. You're a great guest. So much fun.

My pleasure. Do you have anything coming up that you want to plug? In the next, say, month or so? Are they replaying Road Hockey Rumble on the Outdoor Life? Yeah, you can check it out on the Outdoor Life Network channel. I don't even know what. 49, maybe? 49, that's right.

It's on every so often. The only times I flick it on is you or Mantracker. Yes, Mantracker. Or Ed's Up every so often. The only times I flick it on is you or Man Tracker. Yes, Man Tracker. Or Ed's Up. Survivor Man. So check out the Outdoor Life Network to catch Mark. The Outdoor Life Network Canada. I don't think they have it in the States.

They used to. I think they changed it to Versus. Versus. Why are they so confrontational? Honest to God. So what we have established Dave I know you have nothing to plug I have nothing to plug

except go see Graham in Ontario I'll be in Mississauga I'll be in Vaughan I'll be in Ajax I'll be in Ottawa but that's in November and you know treat yourself treat yourself to some live comedy or don't and just listen to the podcast and send me the difference of what you would have paid to go see the comedy show and also the drinks you

would have drank yeah because honestly honest to god it doesn't trickle down to the comics if anybody thinks that what they pay at the door has any equivalency to what the comics get paid it's uh not even close um so so really if you're like i would like to support live comedy literally send me send me and dave some cash that is the best way to support it um and also uh we apparently now we have a competition the only person so far has put in for it is a gentleman named ben gold who wants to be and this is a volunteer position uh but to be the Stop Podcasting Yourself podcast's official American listener. If anybody else is interested, Ben Gold, you've got a challenge on your hands. Otherwise, by default, it's going to go to Ben Gold.

140 characters or less. Tell us why. Send it to StopPodcastYourself at gmail.com. And check out the recap that Dave lovingly does every week at StopPodcastingYourself.blogspot.com. And thanks for sending in any messages. We love getting any and all of your feedback. And tell your friends if you enjoy the show. And come back next week for another stellar episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself. podcasting yourself.