Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 356 - Aaron Read

Episode Date: January 13, 2015

Aaron Read returns to talk teen genies, deodorant, and Greyhound buses.

This episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself is supported in part by FXX, presenting Man Seeking Woman, a new surreal dating comedy from former SNL writer Simon Rich and executive producer Lorne Michaels. Starring Jay Baruchel of This Is The End and Eric Andre of The Internship. Series premiere January 14th at 10.30pm on FXX. Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo!

Hello everybody, welcome to episode number 356 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark, and with me, as always, is a man who's a whole week deep in this new year, and already has gone back on all his New Year's resolutions. Yep, because today is January 12th. Oh, bing! My New Year's resolution is to get better at winking. How do you practice that? Do you just squirt lemon in your eye? It's pain training.

Like No Pain No Gain. Yeah, yeah. Have you seen that movie No Pain No Gain? Yeah, I liked it. With The Rock and Mark Wahlberg? I think it was Pain and Gain. Yes, it was. And Tony Shalhoub.

Yeah. I enjoyed it. I didn't finish it. I watched, I thought it was really funny seeing The Rock in a movie

where it's like a real world because like he has to like be in a convertible and you see that he's too big to be in a car.

Like he's not a scorpion king or anything. Like he could wear a car as a diaper. Yeah. And our guest today, one of our faves, repeat guest, guest who's an improviser, a comedian. Yeah. Yeah, an all-around swell guy. Member of the South. No, no.

Musician. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Handball player. Yeah. An all-around swell guy. Member of the South. No, no. Musician. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Handball player. Yeah, pretty good. Pretty good. Yeah, yeah. Mr. Aaron Reid.

Hello. Hello. Thanks for having me. Hi, thanks for coming. Thanks for being our guest. Yeah, no problem. Now, we're recording this. We're still in December.

Do you want to get to know us? Oh, yes. Yeah. Get to know us. We're yes. Get to know us. We're still in December, our time. And today. Today's December 23rd is your. Let's say it together.

Birthday. I was born today. Yeah. Oh, my God. You look great. Yeah, thanks. So young. Yeah.

Well, can we guess your age? Sure. 25. 26, thanks. You're so young. Yeah. Well, can we guess your age? Sure. 25. 26. Boom. Boom. It's 26. Oh, I meant yesterday.

What was your birthday yesterday? 25. What time of day were you born? I don't know. I think like 6 in the morning. Oh, wow. An early riser. I think so, yeah.

Something like that. Do you feel something every 6 in the morning? Yeah, I do. You feel like I got to get up? Do you feel something every six in the morning? Yeah, I do. You feel like I got to get up? My mom calls me every six in the morning. You're being born. This is when it was. Do you...

Every day? No. Do you know what day of the week you were born? No, I don't really know. Does Siri know what year? 26, 1988? Yeah, 1988. Oh, a Winter Olympic year. What day was December 23 26, 1988? Yeah, 1988. Oh, a Winter

Olympic year. What day was December 23rd, 1988? Yep. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it was a big deal.

Big deal. It was Friday, December 23rd. Oh, shit. Wow. Party baby. Yeah, party baby.

Oh, yeah, that would have been cool because your mom would have had you at six, and then she would have been able to hit the bars. Or head home and watch Full House and Perfect Strangers. Oh, TGIF was, yeah, I guess it would have been in its... Infancy?

Yeah. Yeah, because I still watch TGIF, but a later version with the one with Sabrina the Teenage Witch. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Tell me about your generation's TGIF. Yeah. What else was there? Sabrina the Teenage Witch. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Tell me about your generations to GIF. Yeah. What else was there?

Sabrina the Teenage Witch? Yeah, there's that one where the guy was a genie, like My Little Genie or My... I have a terrible memory, so this is not going to go well. No, this is going great.

Was it Migo starring Jonathan Lipnicki, Ed Begley Jr., and Bronson Pinchot? I have no idea. My Little Genie. My Little Genie. So it was Sabrina the Teenage Witch. My Little Genie. My Little Genie. It was Sabrina the Teenage Witch.

My Little Genie. My Little Genie. Okay. There's one about a janitor, maybe a bodybuilding janitor. That can't be it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A bodybuilding janitor.

Okay. You know, lift and sweep. Lift and sweep. Scrub and rub. Yeah. Bracket oils. The first show with a bracket

pinching with Bronson Pinchot uh yeah TGIF but it's funny there's a fact that in 2020

with Hugh Downs and Barbara Walters keeping it real real cold at the end sobering up I looked through the Wikipedia of um

the uh TGIF lineup, and it had every year what they were, but it always included 2020 at 10 o'clock. Really? Four half-hour comedies from 8 to 10, and then an hour of 2020 where a young John Stossel got his start. I remember when Hugh Downs retired,

his last thing he said before he went off the air was like, I'm going to do, pursue some opportunities on the internet. And then I always wondered,

I was like, maybe Hugh Downs like discovered Google or something. Or maybe he got a bunch of really good, so he was like the early spam mail

and all these like boner raising pills. Yeah. Three wives. Nigerian princess. Yeah. Hugh Downs needs you to put money in an account.

Yeah. He's trustworthy. I'm going to give money to a prince. I'm going to give money to Hugh Downs. TV's prince. He was always old, right? He started his broadcast career at age 70. Yeah. He was always old, right? He started his broadcast career at age 70. Yeah, he died at the moment he went off air.

He died on the internet. He was the first person who was executed live on the internet. I remember that. Poor guy. Yeah. It was a very weird thing for a guy his age to say. Like, I'm going to go pursue opportunities on the internet. Yeah. It was a very weird thing for a guy his age to say. Like, I'm going to go pursue opportunities on the internet. Yeah.

Like, maybe he just went to, like, University of Phoenix and got his degree in welding or something. His degree in welding. TBVCR repair. Okay, so here's, this is the 1988 season. Here we go. Eight o'clock, perfect strangers. Yep. Sometimes the world looks perfect.

Nothing to rearrange. Sometimes you just, et cetera. Followed by Full House. Yeah. Whatever happened to predictability? Full House. Followed by Mr. Belvedere. Streaks on the China.

Never met a before. Kick off your shoes. Something's wrong with Mr. Belvedere. It always ends with him crying near a window. Who has that? He famously sat on his balls. Yep.

In the show or in real life? In real life. At a script reading. They sent everyone home because he had sat on his balls and he couldn't perform the rest of the day. That's insane. His balls were integral to his performance. Yeah. You're real ballsy, kind of like,

you know, your balls really control your voice. Yeah. But imagine. Oh, that would be tough. He's so hard to sit on your balls really control your voice. Yeah. But imagine. Oh, that would be tough. He's so hard to sit on your balls. But I guess maybe not. Must have done some really weird sit-down move where they swooped or something. Or maybe he was like nude or wearing a robe or something.

He seems like a robe guy. Or maybe he had something really important to do and he knew this was the only way he could get out of it. Oops, I sat on my ball. Followed by Just the Ten of Us, which I think was a Growing Pains spinoff featuring the coach from Growing Pains. The coach? I don't know. I would think that Just the Ten of Us was about a party that's always going to restaurants and upsetting restaurants because they don't make a reservation. Oh, we're not paying your flat rate gratuity either.

How many of them? Just the 10 of us. Just the 10 of us. Oh, well, he's downplaying how many there are, but that's for real. Stick in the mud. And then 2020 was on at Tentacle. 2020.

Did John Stossel replace Hugh Downs? I think he did. Oh, I don't know. Maybe his co-anchor? I'm not going to look up that. No, no, no. Come on. Give me a break.

Give me a break. But your era would include Sabrina the Teenage Witch. Yeah. And then Boy Meets World. I remember that. Boy Meets World. Maybe the Hughleys. Yeah.

Hughleys. Yeah. Yeah. Hope and Faith. Okay.ets World, I remember that. Boy Meets World. Maybe the Hughleys. Yeah, Hughleys. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Hope and Faith. Okay, don't think I watched that. No, My Little Genie. Was that Odd Man Out or Brothers Keeper or Teen Angel?

Teen Angel. There it is. He wasn't a genie, he was an angel. Oh, so, yeah, I remember the premise of Teen Angel being that this kid obviously dies, right? Yeah. He doesn't happen to be just a teenage angel. No, he's not like a really nice, he's not like a major donor to a charity. He's one of our teen angels.

Oh, yeah. Now it feels like every, like, I don't know if you've ever watched, like, the sitcoms that are for kids that are on now, like the Wizards of Waverly Place. Oh, yeah, yeah. I've seen them. Love them. They're all those premises, whether it's a magic power or a genie or whatever. Yeah. It was on some magic mountain.

Yeah. Or on a cruise. Let's go back to the days of Zack and Cody when it was just two rich twins on a cruise. Keep it simple. They weren't rich, were they? They just, their mother lived in a hotel. Weren't they a butler? I think they just Lived in a hotel That employed these people

Yeah And like There was Because their mother Was like a lounge singer Oh And you know how like Lounge singers always

Live in the hotel Of course In a suite Yeah Like in a penthouse suite Yeah Well we can let you Sleep in our

Servant's quarters. It's a huge loft. I got these two kids, though. Oh, okay. Sorry. No, yeah. We can't have that. I didn't know any of the backstory.

Maybe they inherited the hotel. Yeah. I don't know. And it was haunted by a teen angel. Who was murdered? What's that? Who was murdered? The teenager was murdered.

Oh, yeah. So that was the underpinning of the show. That was the final episode. It was super dark. The whole thing was like a whodunit. Yeah, exactly. And it turns out Veronica Mars. Oh, I thought it was Mr. Feeney.

It turns out it was Adnan Syed. Did you guys listen to Serial? Graham doesn't know it exists. No, I didn't even know. I don't really know what it is, no. I know that it's a podcast. I found out last night it was non-fiction because I asked somebody. Yeah.

And it's real popular. Yeah. And that's all I know. That's all I need to know. Yeah, I've listened. It's good. It's good. I've heard it's real good.

Yeah. Yeah. It's real good. Yeah. It's fine. There are better. Like, there are episodes of Radiolab that are more compelling. Oh, yeah?

There are episodes of this that are more compelling. It's really dense. It's hard to keep track of what's happening because they're, like, numbering off, like, phone calls. This phone call happened at 2.57. This one happened at 3.12. But that means that the 2.57 phone call, like 257 this one happened at 312 but that means that the 257 phone call like i listen to a half hour episode it takes me two hours because i have to keep rewinding because i like my mind wanders yeah see that's that it's kind of uh to me like the opposite of what a podcast is you know like podcast you listen to it on the bus or whatever

you can leave the room and come back. Yeah, you gotta sit down and stare at the radio while cereal's on. Like, I can't have my phone open and be looking at pictures

because, oh no, who are they talking about now? One of the eight kids with the same name. There's eight Sarahs in it. Eight Sarahs. Three Tims. This person didn't want us to use her real name, so we'll also call her Sarah.

So you were on tour the last time that I tried to get you on the show. You were like, I'm out on tour. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where did you go this time? Was it like the last month? Yeah. Yeah, I was in Europe. Europe.

I did a European tour. Where'd you go? With How to Dress Well? Yeah. I was being Europe. Europe. Did a European tour. Where'd you go? With How to Dress Well? Yeah, with How to Dress Well. And we went all over the place. We started in the UK. Yeah. And we went to different places in Europe.

Germany. Yeah, that's a place. I don't know any of the places in Europe. Did you have a favorite? Yeah. Would you like to share a little? No. I'm going to keep that close to the vest.

I keep my favorite things a secret. No, yeah. I always liked Germany. Berlin's really cool. Yeah? Yeah. I hear that. I hear there's like, you know, if you're an artsy dude or dudette.

Yeah, that was a good place. That's where I went with my band, the Artsy Dudes. What was your hit again? Clip Clop Were Horses. What? Clip Clop Were Horses. What? What?

Yeah, Berlin was cool. But we went to lots of different places. Places you've never been before? Yeah, we went to the Czech Republic, Berlin was cool. But we went to lots of different places. Places you've never, like, been before? Yeah, we went to the Czech Republic. That was cool. Yeah? We went to some weird, like, an hour away from Prague. Is that?

Yeah, that's right. Czech Republic, Prague. Prague, yeah. Your story checks out. Checks out. We went to some weird bone, like a bone museum. Oh, cool. Like a bone church.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And a monk, like a weird, I didn't, I was handed the leaflet of reading about it. Yeah, yeah. And I handed it right back.

There's a lot of those in different cities where it's like, come to our catacombs and we've rearranged skulls into weird, like we just had all these skulls.

Yeah, well, it was cheaper than wood back in the day and like every city has like uh um uh one of those like skull museum yeah every in europe anyway every city has like uh a sex museum yeah yeah and they all have a uh medieval torture museum Yeah, they all do. There's always like, you know, this place used to be a dungeon. And then a thousand cathedrals. Yeah. Was the bone church cool? It was kind of cool. It was kind of weird.

Because a lot of them were just like pyramids of skulls behind cages that you couldn't touch. And then someone made a bone chandelier. And it was funny to watch people do like, I watched this older. behind cages that you couldn't like touch. And then someone made a bone chandelier. And, uh, and, uh, it was funny to watch people like do like, I watched this like older, by the way,

bone chandelier was the band I was in, in Prague. What was that? What was their hip? Uh, it was, uh, broom,

broom, way out cars. What? What? It was fun. It's fun to watch like people pose near like a, like a, like a bone,

like a big bone pyramid of skulls. Very chill, though. Looking like, hey, what's up? With their wife with the iPad. So I was taking pictures of that. Because that, to me, was very fun. It's what's inside of us. Are these skulls...

I think for this to not be too distasteful, the skulls have to be like hundreds of years old. Yeah. You can't be like, these people died last week. Yeah, these were people who were busted thinking they were coming on a tour. This is a guy who took a picture with an iPad. This is a guy who used the word phablet. That's Body Worlds. That's what Body Worlds is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's body worlds. That's what body worlds is.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was from last year. No, stop. I filled out the application to be a body in body worlds. You're going to be a body world? Well, probably not. They said no thanks. You put it in a machine and it just comes back up.

We read your stats. No, you have to be either in great shape or in like crazy bad shape to be a body world you can't make your mind up yeah you have to be an oddity

or just a normal or a specimen yeah yeah exactly would they sometimes they have hair on them yeah

but is that the real hair Of the dead person On the body world Yeah I'm calling each body A body world Yeah I don't know

I think so I think it's Yeah Because don't they just Take off like Certain parts I guess so But like

I guess it's not hard To preserve hair No Yeah It's there It's a wig Yeah But what about your beard

That's what I'm asking Oh yeah Yeah Well maybe Probably Or they just put One of those You know

Golden boy Scrubbers On the Body world's face Golden boy scrubbers? I feel like golden boy Is the name Brand name

Of like A scrubber? Like a steel wool Oh yeah Yeah I use bulldog steel wool Bulldog Oh boy What Like a steel wool. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I use Bulldog steel wool. Bulldog? What kind of steel wool do you use? Me?

Yeah. SOS pads? Okay, sure. Yeah. I don't know. They're okay. No, hey. They have the blue goo, the weird blue goo in it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You squeeze it and blue comes out. Oh, yeah. What is that supposed to do? Pants? I don't know. It's just supposed to clean it, I guess. It poisons you? Yeah. Putting liquid lead, I think.

Liquid lead. So you saw Bone Church. I saw Bone Church. Did you play like- They rule. Oh, I love Bone Church. We opened for Bone Church when we were in Prague. Bone Chandelier opened for Bone Church.

What kind of venues were you playing in? Like weird European venues? Mostly like clubs, like rock clubs or whatever. But we play in a church every once in a while. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Huh. Yeah.

Everything is very old when you go there. Yeah. So like when you go to like a club, is it a building that's been there for 400 years and used to be like you know where they kept horses yeah it can be we went to a place that was like a we played in a place that was an old horse stable really yeah yeah and they had the restaurant there that you like ate in before and like it had the like weird it was a trough yeah it was it was like a re like a re

they built the restaurant in a trough because there was like weird gutters in the middle of the floor. Where was that? All the horse pee and stuff. Wow, really? Horse tears would go or sweat. I don't know. Yeah, horse blood, sweat, and tears.

That was... I can't remember where. Yeah, it's all the same, man. It's all a blur. Life of the touring musician. It all blends together. I just have a really bad memory. Here I go.

Yeah. Out on the road again. Bob Seger. And Metallica. Yeah, yeah. Is it fun to go on these tours, or do you hate them? No, I like them. They're fun.

They're tiring. They're like a... But I mean, I can't complain. Is it a new city every day, that kind of thing? It can be, yeah. Okay. So you don't get a chance to hang out. I think that's why I can't remember. It's like a new city every day. It's thing it can be yeah yeah okay yeah so you don't get a chance to like hang out i think that's why i can't remember it's like it's like a new city every day it's like 30

cities in a day 30 cities in a month or something like that that's crazy yeah yeah it's pretty insane and is it all train or do you drive we drive yeah okay and then once in a while we have to fly if we have to go somewhere that we can't how many people are in this outfit four four do you get to crazy tired of each other after the month? I think so, but we're pretty chill. We're pretty chill about it. No one has, well, there's been a couple. A couple dust-ups?

A couple mind breakdowns. But, yeah, usually everyone comes out pretty kind. No one dies. No one dies. Nobody dies, except those poor people in the bone church. Right. Let's take a second to remember them.

The thousands of heads that make up all those piles. Stop talking so we can take a second to remember them. Yeah. No.

Yeah. You should play Bad to the Bone during that. Oh, whan, oh, whan,

oh. All right, let's take one more second and I'll do it. Ba, ba, ba, ba, yeah. that. A whan-a-whan-a-ow. All right, let's take one more second and then I'll do it. Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ya. Is that the best song ever? Oh, it's your birthday from the day you were born.

The nurses all gathered around and the kids were with a wad of wonder at the joy they had found. The head nurse spoke up. She said, leave this one alone. She could tell right away

you were bad to the bone. Oh, man. You know all the lyrics to that song. Well, I wrote a fan letter to George Thurgood in grade eight. That's the best song for when a pretty lady walks into a bar, right? A seedy bar. Bad to the bone.

Legs. Oh, legs is good. Yeah, that's true. What is the scene that, oh, it's Terminator 2, right? That Bad to the Bone plays where he's like walking around naked in the bar. I don't remember. Did he have a boner? Yeah, that's true. What is the scene that, oh, it's Terminator 2, right? That Bad to the Bone plays where he's like walking around naked in the bar. I don't remember. Did he have a boner?

Yeah. That's everybody staring at him. But a really bad boner. Like a really boner no one liked. Was that the one, no, Terminator 3 is the one which opens with him beating up, they allude to him beating up a stripper and stealing his outfit, right? A male stripper? Yeah, yeah, a male stripper. Oh, yeah, that must be Terminator 3. Because he puts on Elton John glasses.

Oh, really? Something like that. I haven't seen it. Is that the one with the female Terminator? Yeah, yeah. The Terminatrix? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, and then what's her name?

Claire Danes? Yeah. Isn't it? Yeah. What happened to that Terminatrix? I feel like she was going to be the next big thing, and that movie flopped. Oh, she went and played other robots in other movies, but never to quite the extent. I feel like she might have done a Maxim spread at the time.

Yeah. She could have. Yeah. That doesn't guarantee fame and fortune, just because you do a Maxim spread. I just don't remember her name, but what if it turns out, oh, that was Jennifer Lawrence. Oh, yeah. Well, she would have been probably 13 at the time. But thank God it wasn't.

Or this world would be a weird place. That would be a good Terminator. A scary 10-year-old girl Terminator. That would actually be really good. The next Terminator movie, Arnold Schwarzenegger, they've done a CG. They've put his face on a young dude's body. Carlo Gugino? Yeah.

That's what you mean by CG? They put Arnold Schwarzenegger's face on Carlo Gugino's body. Hubba hubba. It's everything I like. Yeah. Yeah, so he's back. He was in Terminator Salvation briefly, the fourth one, with Christian Bale. But he's a CGI, completely CGI briefly. The fourth one. Yeah. With, with the Christian Bale. But he just,

he's a CGI, completely CGI Arnold Schwarzenegger. Yeah. And he like quickly breaks out of a jail and he's like, thanks. Or something like that. Yeah. They didn't,

they didn't have time to do the voice correctly. Thanks man. They didn't have time to do the voice that everyone does. Eat my shorts, bro. Thanks man. Thanks, man. His famous expression from Terminator 2. Thanks, man.

So, it's your birthday today. Yeah. We can't sing happy birthday because of legal rights. Aaron, it's your birthday. Happy birthday, Aaron. But do you, as someone who has a birthday two days before Christmas, is that the worst? And you have a twin to share your birthday with? I have a twin sister, too, yeah.

No, it's fine. Yeah, it's cool. Yeah, people freak out about it. Some other people freak out about it. They're like, oh, fuck, must be terrible. But it's good. When you were a kid, was it terrible to have them so close together

I don't think so it was kind of sweet like you get gifts when you're a kid and then you get more gifts a day later okay well that's true

that's pretty cool but they didn't try to conflate the two like all in one day Christmas Eve is going to be Jesus and Aaron and Aaron's sister

they never learned your sister's name the Aaron with the long hair yeah long hair and Aaron's sister. Yeah. They never learned your sister's name. The Aaron with the long hair. Yeah. Long hair and Aaron. No, I don't think they ever did. No, I don't think so.

We were maybe going to do it this year, which I was furious about. Yeah. No. I remember my 26th birthday. Mom and dad, I need that toboggan. Yeah. No, they always separate. I think because we were twins, it had to be its own day thing, maybe. Yeah, no, they always separate. I think because we were twins, it had

to be its own day thing, maybe. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Did they ever make you dress up and like outfits? Yeah.

Yeah, really? I got some old pictures. My mom made some real fun choices when we were a kid. We used to have

bleached blonde hair. Raggedy Ann and Andy? Pretty much. We both had bleached blonde hair, and my mom

cut it into skullets kind of Like, we both had bleached blonde hair, and my mom cut it into, like, muck, like, skullets kind of thing. So we had, like, we both had shaved head with long hair. Uh-huh. And we both had matching- And you were Deanne Ward? Yeah. And we both had matching blue overalls, and we would just kind of muck about.

Why a skullet? I don't know. Just look at those old pictures. You weren't... She didn't bleach her hair. No, no. It was naturally blonde. Okay.

She bleached her hair. Bleached blonde hair. Then shaved it off, except some hair at the back. We had some highlights, some lowlights. Had some eyebrow rings. Some ombre. I had nipple piercings. That was my choice.

Yeah. To differentiate yourself exactly hey aaron no that's aaron i lift up my shirt oh there's aaron and then uh did you guys go to the same school like elementary school so were you in the same class sometimes yeah yeah that was weird. Yeah. Yeah. And she's like a lot smarter than me. So, because we both went to French immersion.

Okay. So like, yeah. My mom tried to be like, oh, maybe you'll be a smart kid. And I was like, no, this is even harder than regular school. So we both did French. And I ended up being taught French in grade seven by the principal, which seems like an honor. But it's really not. Like a solo class? Yeah, it was a solo class for kids.

It was me and all the other kids with behavioral problems. The principal? And then you guys all grew up and formed a band. Yeah, exactly. Just Bone. Just Bone. Just Bone Just Bone

What's your song again? Our song Bone what? Pretty good We got sued By Bad to the Bone You got sued by a song Yeah

That almost never happens That song's so powerful Wow So Oh yeah Was that kind of like The Breakfast club, you and those four kids? Yeah, I think a bit. Yeah, we were all the kids that would always, yeah, we're trouble.

I know one of them became probably a pretty good ecstasy dealer from what I heard years later. Pretty good ecstasy dealer. It's your mother bragging. Why couldn't you be more like John Luke? He has a new Honda. It's low. I don't know what that means. It's got those lights underneath it.

I got in trouble once for drawing naked people on the board, giant naked people on the board, and the principal walked in. And they were too giant. Yeah, they were too. Draw smaller people. Draw realistic-sized people. And I denied it. I said it was an eagle when she tried to confront me smaller people. Draw realistic-sized people. And I denied it. I said it was an eagle when she tried to confront me about it.

I was like, no. Female principal. Yeah. Oh, well, shame on me. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I tried to say it was an eagle, and then I refused to go to track and field out of sourness for getting in trouble. Seems like you were calling the shots.

No, I was forced to go. I had to go. Run off all that negative energy. I'm surprised they didn't just go, yeah, you stay, because I was one of the worst at track and field. No, you were speedy. What was your event? I don't think I had one. I think I was bad at all of them.

The Avalon Catcher. Did you ever do track and field? Yeah, I was the fastest kid in my school. Really?valyn Catcher. Did you ever do track and field? Yeah, I was the fastest kid in my school. Really?

Yeah. Holy shit. At short distances. I had no stamina and no patience for long distance running.

No, that's fair. Or middle distance running. Just only the shortest. 50s, 100s. Not a cross country man.

No. Lonely. Did any school have, what's the one where you stick the thing in the ground, you go over the high jump? Is that high jump? Pole vaulting. Pole vaulting, yeah. That wasn't a thing that you did in high school? I don't know.

Maybe the rich, the really rich high schools maybe? Yeah. Those poles seem expensive. Yeah, absolutely. And you know that kids just broke them. Yeah. Trying to get as many kids on one pole as possible. I remember growing up as a Ukrainian, there weren't very many, like, I wasn't very in touch with my Ukrainian heritage.

And I remember the world's greatest pole vaulter was this guy named Sergei Bubka. And I had a picture on the wall of him. Like in your room? Yeah. It was from Sports Illustrated. And there was Michael Jordan. It was the 1992 Olympics, the dream team. And Michael Jordan was carrying a pole vault.

And Sergei Bubka was holding a basketball. And they were like, what? I'm confused. The two greatest in their field. Oh, wow. I, uh, yeah. I don't know what it was like. I don't think I was good at anything in track and field.

I did them all, but I don't think it was good at anything. Yeah. Same here. Yeah. Shot put was hard. Oh, yeah. Terrible. It would be hard today.

Yeah, that's true. With these Kermit arms. It's dangerous. Yeah. And I know we With these Kermit arms. Dangerous. Yeah. And I know we didn't have javelin. There was no way that was. And also the shot put, like the technique is weird because you have to push your arm out. Yeah.

And you've never done that when you're 10 years old. You don't know. It's hard to teach you a new movement when you've been throwing a ball. Yeah, yeah. You like push it out of your body yeah you do you spin with it yeah and but you have to have it up against your neck yeah and it's this ball that weighs half your body weight yeah same with discus discus was really like very counterintuitive like you had to be able to spin and then stop and then let it go. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Which is like, it's all like timing and technique and spatial awareness. And I don't think I even tried it. No, I definitely. And then, yeah, you had to like Frisbee it too. Like you couldn't just have it.

No. Yeah. You had to have like a special, yeah. Special grip on it. And yeah, really crazy. I don't think we even did javel that. And yeah, really crazy. I don't think we even did javelin.

No, we definitely did. Because I think they know that teenagers would abuse the privilege of having a, you know. Make giant shish kebabs. Oh, that'd be fun. That'd be really fun. Yeah. Like put a whole hamburger on. A pizza.

A whole turkey. Yeah, pretty good. Pretty good all in all. Well, happy birthday. Yeah, happy birthday. A turkey. Pretty good. Pretty good all in all. Well, happy birthday. Yeah, happy birthday. Thank you. Congratulations.

Thank you. I did it. Dave, what's going on with you, man? Well, we recorded an episode yesterday. We sure did. It's not yet Christmas. And I was worried that I wouldn't have anything to talk about, but I've got some great stuff to talk about. Tidbits.

So I keep buying the wrong deodorant. Uh-oh. Now I'm a speed stick guy. Sure. By Menon. Yeah. Aaron? Old Spice. Old Spice. Classic. And the problem I have, well Graham? I think I'm speed, speed stick.

Original. That's my problem. I don't know which flavor I am. Oh, yeah, I'm an original. Because I, I'm always, I go there and I see there's like active fresh and ocean surf and original. Yeah. And they're all the different like aquamarine, turquoise. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Teal. Blue goo. Blue. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Blue goo. Blue goo. And you smell them. I take off the little, uh, protector thing inside and smell them, uh, and put it back or sometimes I don't. Yeah. And, uh, and they all kind of smell alike and I can't, they're not familiar to me.

Right. Like this one is, uh, well, I can't be ocean surf because I don't, it smells salty. Yeah. So I'll bring home active fresh and then it's always wrong because I put it,

once I put it on my body, it smells different. It smells peppery. I don't know. And so I, I have all these, these wrong deodorants that I buy.

Ah, give them to charity. No, you can't do that. So I've got like a drawer full of active fresh. And then as I was sort of Googling things to talk about on today's show, I was like, what are the flavors?

I see now that they've discontinued active fresh, and I'm wondering, can I make some money on eBay? Ah. Telling you how you once used active freshes. Yeah. Once used. Only one pit left side um yeah of course you can you can sell any garbage on ebay that's what's great about ebay yeah uh there's got to be somebody out there that's like loves active fresh right like that's their Or they're nostalgic for it. Yeah. Like people buying Crystal Pepsi.

Yeah. There's a, what was the, oh shit, I can't remember the name of the drink, but there was, we were trying to find on eBay, anybody who had this. It was like supposed to be a juice box for adults that Richard Lewis endorsed in the nineties. Good lord. And my friend and I were trying to find, trying to see if anybody had these, maybe like an old grocery store, found them in the basement or something.

Oh my god. I can't remember if it was called Bogo or something. Richard Lewis juice box. Boku. Boku. Boku. Yeah. B-O-K-U.

Yeah, it was supposed to be a juice box for adults. That's amazing There was a big in the 90's There were like What was it called Okay Cola And it had like the ghost world Stuff on it

Drawings on it I don't remember that It was for our generation Oh it was supposed to be like an alt? Yeah, it was advertised in Spin Magazine. Wow. Yeah, how do you decide what deodorant is going to be your flavor? Do you just try one and then you're like, yeah, good enough?

Or do you try a bunch of them? I remember being eight, nine, and like finally working up a sweat. Yeah. And like, dad, buy me deodorant. Brought home whatever, the speed stick. It took me four years to get through a roll. I burned through them pretty quick. Do you remember when they had those ones that were like, I think they still have them.

They're like little holes and it's's like kind of a liquidier gel. You push it up, and then it goops. It's like ultrasound gel. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When I was a teen, I was like, because I was first, I didn't know what to do with this deodorant. I knew that you had to put it on your armpits, but I'm like, but other parts of my body sweat, so I coated my entire body with it.

Like maybe for a year I did this and i was like this is insane so i used that for a little while it never occurred to me how long did it take you to get ready a long time when you put your shirt on was it then stuck to your chest stuck and then you get kind of And people could see it was like a wet t-shirt contest. I didn't like that stuff. It was too cold. It's so cold. Yeah.

And it also ruined shirts. Like, it stained shirts. Well, if it was anti-perspirant, was it? Yeah, I think so. Or maybe they can both. But it was just putting, like, glue. Yeah. Like, on your body.

Liquid one's weird, though, because it's almost like sunscreen. You could, like, liquid it into your body. Liquid one's weird though because it's almost like sunscreen. You could like liquid it into your eyes. That's what I should have done. Oh, you rolled it on? Yeah, I rolled it all on. I didn't spread it. I used to use this one that was Degree. It was antiperspirant. Oh, Degree. I forgot all about Degree.

It smelled like baby powder and it came in those holes but it was like a creamy thing. Right. So it came in those holes. Creamy. It had, like you would crank the thing and this white goo would come through these holes

and you would, this isn't getting better, but you would then put it on your pits and it smelled like baby powder. And then I kept using it until one day they rebranded it and that scent was only for women i was like oh this this unisex scent is now women i am i've been i've been gendered out of this yeah and i caved i tried to use the thing it was like a crystal that you just wet in the sink. Oh, man. That didn't work at all. The natural ones don't work for me.

Yeah, it was a natural, but it worked for anyone. Yeah. Yeah, they do not. Have we had this exact conversation? Oh, of course. This is... And do I keep buying the wrong deodorant years later? You got to go back.

Episode one. I tried the, what is it called? Tom's? Tom's of May Oh yeah Tom's You might as well Just like smear You know

Chicken grease under there Well cause Alicia Was talking about Working at a grocery store A natural grocery Or natural pharmacy Yeah And a guy

Oh that's right A guy Brought He's like Oh I use my own deodorant I made my own deodorant And he brought it Into the shower

And he puts it through Like a toilet paper tube as the applicator. As the applicator. That's pretty good. I knew somebody that used to just use a dryer sheet. What do you call that? Like bounce sheet or whatever. Just do that under. Huh.

That would be. That seems good. Yeah, I guess. Is that healthy? No, I think all deodorants are unhealthy. Yeah, unhealthy. Yeah, yeah. It's true.

It's probably no better. Yeah, like Adams. What are you going to do? Yeah. Right? Yeah. What's the alternative? Smell.

Yeah, exactly. Slightly smell. It's the antiperspirants that are considered more unhealthy because they've got aluminum. Oh, yeah. And they're like... They ruin your shirts and people people are like oh they might give you alzheimer's oh and then but you if you i looked it up once and the alzheimer's society was like we don't see a connection there's no

there's no established connection i wonder if there's like a jenny mccarthy of the of deodorant yeah yeah that's like yeah I won't let my kids use deodorant. Of course there are. Do you think? Of course. Well, I mean, kids shouldn't use deodorant, for one thing. Yeah, they smell. They'll smear it all over their bodies.

Yeah. Because they think that's how it works. I never got... I never... My dad never taught me to shave. No? How come? I don't know.

Like, I never... You're like, ah, Dave will figure it out. I watched him when I was, like, a kid. Yeah. And then I just taught myself. I don't know what, like... I don't know. Did you have a thing when you were 15, standing shirtless with your dad?

Well, I think we were probably wearing shirts. But, yeah, he showed... Because you don't know to go up or down, right? Or, like, what configuration. Upstairs, downstairs. Yeah, exactly. In because you don't know to go up or down, right? Or like what configuration. Upstairs, downstairs. Yeah, exactly. In my lady's chamber. And you don't know like, it's kind of like when you first learn how to mow the lawn.

Like you're like, do it in a circle. Don't just do it willy nilly. Because, you know, you start shaving, you're like, you get bored of one side, go over to the other. It's like, you know, work through it methodically. Right? Yeah. I mean, it's pretty easy to work through it methodically because the cream disappears as you go. Yeah, that's true.

Yeah. You got a bit of a map. Yeah, I never used an electric razor. No, me neither. Those rolly ones, the ones that spin with the spinning blade, I never used those either. That seemed like a funnier way to shave. Yeah. Like to get up in the morning and be like meow, meow, meow, meow.

It's strange. Who taught you to shave? No one. So I don't know if I'm doing it right still. I kind of just go all over the place. Yeah, I go down, down, down, then up, up, up, up. Okay, I go like up, down. Do you go up, up, up? I go left, right, left, right, B, A.

Up on the under chin? Yeah. I go like up, down. Do you go up on the... I go left, right, left, right, B, A. Up on the under chin? Yeah. I go down on everything, then up on everything. Oh, you go both ways? Yeah. A real Zamboni technique. Oh, because I would always... What would I do?

I would go up on the under chin and then down on the face part. I think. That makes sense, too. But then I can't get it close enough if i only go down oh okay oh okay so you go you do one and then yeah it's like you need a pre-shave maybe you get a little electric razor do a one a pass yeah and then get some uh get some foam go i was really excited about that yeah did you ever did you guys ever like shave other parts of your body when you were a kid?

What do you mean? Like When I was When I was like a kid I used to like shave my legs And like Yeah I shaved one leg To see what

What it was all about Yeah I definitely was bored enough That I Yeah I was like I think I would Probably It was like

ADHD or whatever And I just saw A razor Grabbed it Started shaving my arm no consideration for what's happening and I definitely remember like taking all of the skin and just pushing it down and like it looked like I had pulled sod off my arm it was just like a sheet of skin that I just pushed down. Shaving dry.

Shaving my arm with like a pink lady razor. What a mess. I know. What a mess. But it was fine. Yeah. Look, I still got the arm. Yeah, there was a guy in my high school that was like a swimming guy,

and he shaved his armpits. I used to swim too, so I shaved my legs. Did you? Legs and armpits? I didn't have armpit hair until I was like a swimming guy, and he shaved his armpits. I used to swim, too, so I shaved my legs. Did you? Legs and armpits? I didn't have armpit hair until I was like 20. Oh. Or like, I guess I was a teenager, but a late teenager. Fair enough.

Look at you now, though. Yeah. Full. Yeah, I've got, no one can see it, but I have my armpits cut out. Peanut butter solution over here. And I'm always raising my hands all the time to show Dave. Yeah, I know. I like it. Yeah, yeah.

Raise your hand if you're sure. Not Graham. Graham knows. Yeah, yeah. It's a tip from Graham. Oh, man. So, uh, yeah. Deodorant. Happy New Year. Happy New Year, everybody. Would you have any resolutions this year? Uh. Does it occur to you? It always occurs to me, but I don't... There you are, everybody. Would you have any resolutions this year?

Does it occur to you? It always occurs to me, but I don't, you know, because everybody I feel like has the same thing. Like, I got to get in better shape. Not me, man. Ripped. Yeah, you're ripped. That's true.

Your core is like iron. It's intimidating. Do you have a thing? Me? A resolution? Well, like I have constant resolutions, like stop this when i'm eating like chips a whole bag of chips yeah and you're like don't do this again don't do this again yeah when i've just got a six pack and eight hot dogs in a bag not no stop doing this so drunk that i

my hangover makes me cry. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. I just always think, yeah, I got to get some kind of shape. Yeah. You know. Some, you know, shape of a man. Some sort of man shape. The shape of a man.

Sounds like a good movie. Oh, yeah. My resolution is to become a worse father. I've been too good these first few months. Yeah. You need something to strive for. You got to go down before you before you go up yeah my baby needs to see me struggle yeah that is true she can learn uh yeah because if you're just perfect all the time she'll never know how i know you know she's like what was this my dad kurt henning that mr perfect is that what his name doug henning

doug henning was a magician. Yeah, no, no, no. Who was Mr. Perfect? Yeah, you're right. Kurt Henning. Paul Orndorff? No, it was Kurt Henning. Okay.

You got it. Do you know who Paul Orndorff was? Mr. Wonderful. Mr. Wonderful. Yeah. All wrestlers. All wrestlers. All the time.

Who was Mr. Big? A band? A chocolate bar. Oh, yeah yeah they were also a band stupid please cut that part out no no no dice so graham yeah how have you been oh good uh on the weekend here's this was a little this we were uh i did a set at the Comedy Mix here in town. And the weekend before, kind of the end of the year crowds can be pretty touch and go. A lot of overly drunk people. Yeah.

And then also just drifters, you know, drifters with no families. Drift in looking for a bounty or whatever. Which is? A chocolate bar. A chocolate bar. I had to be reminded. To the audience, how would you characterize their laughs? Were they Snickers?

Whoa. their laps? Were they Snickers? Whoa. Yeah, Snickers. Low piece, low piece. Dumb. Anyways, there was a guy, there was a whole table

that wouldn't stop. They just wouldn't stop. It just wouldn't stop. It's the worst. You know, shouting shit out and talking and they were overly drunk and they had to be kicked out. And it turns out one of the guys apparently was the lead singer of the band Headley. Headley, for our non-Canadian listeners is a pop rock band yeah they won the Canadian Idol no the lead singer was maybe came in second or third in the first season of Canadian Idol he was too rock yeah and then he formed this band it's probably the biggest thing to come

out of Canadian Idol other than Carly Rae Jepsen? What about that other guy with the glasses that I can't remember his name? Ryan Malcolm? Yeah, that's the guy. Kalen Porter? Anyway, so that was it. You know, the biggest thing

to come out of Canadian Idol is Ben Mulroney. Oh, absolutely. Oh, John Doerr. John Doerr was the Yeah, John Doerr was the wrote like

on the street correspondent. Really? First three seasons? Two seasons? I don't know. Oh my God. He was like a funny Ryanyan seacrest yeah and then they were like uh it wasn't it was john doran somebody oh no that was ryan seacrest and somebody had brian dunkelman yeah where's he now he's uh he was in he played the female terminator Terminator. Brianne Dunkelman. I get it.

And then I know this episode, I think, has already come out of Doug Loves Movies, but I was on Doug Loves Movies in Seattle. Okay. And it was fun. That's a fun show to be on. It was you? It was me. Graham Elwood. Okay.

Jeopardy! Superstar Ken Jennings The all time winningest Most games won Most games won But not most money won Is that right? Yeah Who's most money won?

Brad Rutter There it is And Who else was on the Panel A gentleman who does Mark Wahlberg A great Mark Wahlberg

His name is Dan. I don't remember his last name. And who won the match? Oh, it was... What's the gentleman who tells jokes and plays with Nick Thune? Nick Thune.

He won. But by... That's a good panel. Oh, it was great. Great's a good, that's a good panel. Oh, it was great. Great panel. And it was a lot of fun. And it's in this like a cool theater called the Neptune. Ah. Which is all Neptune, the, you know, king of the sea.

Oh, not the planet. No, no. So it's all, you know, tridents and bearded, like the lights are all shaped like a bearded guy. Wow. Yeah. It was really cool. know tridents and uh bearded like the lights are all shaped like a bearded guy wow yeah it was really cool and um that like i took the it used to be a bone church yeah yeah uh i took the greyhound down there which was like a huge huge mistake yeah because uh there's like buses that go directly there and i uh i forgot to book on that oh so what does a greyhound do it stops everywhere really yeah it stops in like bellingham everett this place that place other you know six other

places and then it gets stuck in traffic and uh some lady on the phone the whole the whole trip behind me what's she doesn't she worried about roaming charges? That's what I, honestly, I was like, how is she talking so long? Cross border. Yeah, she must have some great plan. But she wouldn't get off the phone long enough for me to ask, so. Then after the show,

like a bunch of people were kind of milling around, and a guy came up and he was like, hey, I know you from the podcast. I'm from vancouver as well if you uh if you need a ride back i i can give you a ride back to vancouver and i was like oh that would be the very best was he leaving that night or the next morning next morning so i was like yeah we should so him he and i uh his name is mike, we went out and got a drink. And then the next day, oh yeah, while we were chatting, I was like, oh, what do you do and stuff? And he said-

I'm the lead singer of Headley. And I was like, well, I hope you never come to a comedy show. He and his wife, you know that thing where it's like a dog and then there's a little sign saying like what the dog did that was bad? Yeah. That they came up with dog shaming dog shaming he's the inventor of dog he's the inventor of dog shaming wow i know he's the hugh downs of dog shaming he's gonna do something on the internet it was hugh downs and him co-created this website so yeah like he oh wow like they have a book and a calendar and like it's like yeah it's like a part-time job for

him like ptj yeah so i thought that was pretty cool yeah because he said oh yeah i do this website and i thought he went meant like it was gonna be like some commerce website or something i'd never heard of and he's like it's these dogs and they they're bad and i was like dog shaming and he's like yeah you've heard of it i'm like everybody's heard of it it's the it was the hit of the year wasn't it like dong shaming no yeah which is what happened to aaron when he drew those big naked people yeah that's a real dung it's just a picture of a dong and then a sign next to it what it did that was bad oh yeah yeah i ruined a pair of shoes. The way Dave winced at that was worth it.

It was worth the journey. So people should download that if it's out. Oh, yeah, yeah. I don't win. I know that. I know you don't. Nick Thune does. Yeah, Nick Thune does. Yeah, Nick Thune does. But also, too, there was one I got wrong because I thought the star rating of the movie was correct. Are you familiar with this game?

Not. I think I've heard one episode, but I don't think so. So it's like there will be a category, and you pick the category, and then they say this movie came out in 2005. Okay. And you pick the category and then they say this movie came out in 2005. Okay. And Leonard Maltin gave it two stars and then he lists how many people appear in the credits. Right.

And then you say I need five names from the credits to guess the movie. The bottom five names, the lowest billed people. Yeah. And I picked one because the category I was like, I'm sure it's The Big Lebowski. But then it was only two and a half stars. And I was like, surely The Big Lebowski got more stars than that. And then I got it wrong. What was it? It was The Big Lebowski.

Leonard. Yeah. Anyways, it was a lot of fun. Not everyone bows down to that movie. No, that's true. And I think it's also a movie that's gotten bigger over time, right?

Like, I think when it came out, like it wasn't. Oh, the stars are based on when it came out. Yeah. Yeah,

yeah. He doesn't revisit his reviews. He doesn't later go, you know what? Fickleboski rules now. I didn't know that was flea in that.

Anyways, yeah. So, yeah, imagine all in one weekend meeting the guy who created dog shaming and getting heckled by Headley. Wow, I know. That's a huge weekend.

That's big. This next weekend's not going to live up to that. No way. No way. Like I'm going to have to meet a mayor of a major city. Are there any mayors Who are the lead singer Of anything

Oh yeah They've got You know what I bet you There's a band That's All mayors Oh sure

Yeah Yeah That does Surprise shows What was the It wasn't like Stephen King And Dave Barry

Oh Bruce Willis Yeah yeah Bruce Willis And Russell Crowe They're all in it And Kevin Bacon Yeah They're all in a band

40 odd foot of grunts oh yeah the Bacon Brothers and 30 The Ordinary Fear of God yeah yeah they mostly do

the songs from Les Mis that Russell Crowe and then yeah like sang what would the mayors they made they sing

Taking Care of Business they'd sing mayor related songs that's a great mayor related song. Yeah. Taking care of municipal business. Money. That song.

Money, money, money. There are no mayor songs. These are like. Why aren't they mayor songs though? Because they're so broad. Taking care of business has nothing to do. Money. It's about money yeah exactly but these are songs that mayors can relate there's no songs about bylaws there's no songs about parking parking meters or garbage parks oh pick up i the law and the law one

because that's you, they do bylaws. I'm on the bylaw. Pretty good stuff, all in all. Now, do we want to move on to a bit of business? Business? That sounds like a song about a lawyer. I mean, a mayor. Too late.

Now, this week in business, TWIB, Stop Podcasting Yourself, is supported in part by FXX, presenting Man Seeking Woman, a new surreal dating comedy from former SNL writer Simon Rich and executive producer Lorne Michaels. Oh, he does good stuff. He did the Kids in the Hall and executive producer Lorne Michaels. Oh, he does good stuff. He did Kids in the Hall. Oh, Lorne Michaels? Yeah, he did 30 Rock. Yeah. This guy knows television.

Yeah, this Lorne Michaels. It's Lorne, right? Yeah, Lorne Michaels of the Cincinnati Michaels. He's Canadian. He's a Canadian. Yeah. As is Lorne Green. It was a very popular name for a while.

As is Jay Baruchel, who is the star of this show called Man Seeking Woman. I was looking at the wrong part of the copy. I was like, called This is the End. That was a movie he was in. The series premieres on January 14th at 10.30 p.m. on FXX. Do you want to move on to the overheard? Yeah, sure. Oh, hey there, everybody. I'm Guy Branum, and welcome to

Pop Rocket, a new weekly show picking over the pop culture we all love to love. With me to talk TV, film, music, and anything else entertaining are journalist Margaret Wappler, academic, writer, and DJ Oliver Wang, digital strategist Winner Mitchell, and comedian Santina

Muha. It's an intellectual and incredibly snark-filled discussion about pop culture by five cranky Hollywood 30-somethings. No name-calling, no rudeness, just straight talk and a lot of roleplay. I'm only 30-something for another year. Me too. And I don't tell anybody I'm 30-something. Pop Rocket comes

out every week from MaximumFun.org. something. Pop Rocket comes out every week from MaximumFun.org. I'm Jesse Thorne. I'm Jordan Morris. The federal government has millions of dollars in programs and opportunities that you need to seize today. You're a taxpayer, right? Well, then you've got it coming. Learn the secrets you deserve to know. Find the bowling alley under the White House and the laser tag arena underneath Congress. Learn the real story behind Nicolas Cage's dinosaur auction. Find out why the Department of Energy has banned shirts. Learn the locations of America's secret alien bases and Dan Aykroyd.

Find out where the Library of Congress keeps its kasingles. For all of this and more, drop us a line. Jordan, Jesse, go. 123 iTunes Street or wherever you download podcasts. Overheard. Overheards. A great little segment. You know.

A little segment that could. Yeah. It keeps chugging right along and uh old man segment that old man segment just keeps on rolling you don't know nothing i don't know what the rest of the words are showboat ah um now we always like to start this segment with the guest. Are you ready to lead the charge? I am. I haven't heard many overheard

surprisingly this month, but I heard one when I was back in town. I was waiting for the bus, and there was three teenagers came out of that waffle and milk store that's on Main. Oh, yeah. I've never been.

They sell waffles and milk? I think they sell waffle sandwiches and milk or something like that. Yeah, I don't know why it isn't the biggest store in the world. Why isn't it the most talked about store? Like the most, it should be bigger than McDonald's. Yeah, a waffle store seems like it would be doing all right. Is it just that they sell sandwiches but waffles? I don't know. Yeah, I think the seems like it would be doing all right. Is it just that they sell sandwiches but waffles? I don't know.

Yeah, I think the bread is supposed to be waffles. Oh, okay. I'm not sure where it's... Sorry, I don't mean to get sidetracked. Oh, it's okay. Do you mean it's waffles in the way that, like, oh, it's nuts. Oh, it's totally waffles. The bread is just waffles in here, man.

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, man. I just want to do a bunch of cocaine And get Just get waffles Get waffly Just go waffles

Just go waffles They were It was Yeah so it was Three teenagers And they were kind of like They looked pretty like Like they were

They had been They were a little haggard Like But they didn't look They weren't like homeless teenagers They just looked like They were like Kind of like cool punks Yeah right And uh and they but they were clearly like super

stoned and then uh one of them was walking past and they were like oh man we gotta get some vitamins like all we've been doing is consuming and consuming these past 24 hours we gotta get some vitamins we gotta get home and yeah yeah and we were right by that vitamin store yeah and i thought that was that was so smart yeah yeah like stoners would be all like hey let's get waffles yeah but yeah maybe if uh you like a certain type of stoner you get the munchies for vitamins so if you're gonna get waffles and go to the waffles and milk store there's plenty of vitamins and milk oh absolutely and in waffles yeah and minerals vitamin minerals. Vitamin W. Delicious, delicious. I don't think they would have been eating there, though.

I think they just got kicked out of there. Get out of here. This isn't the type of place for you. Yeah, do you have any hallucinogenic waffles? Please leave. Yeah, get out. Do you guys have any pancakes? Get out.

That's basically like the worst word you could say in a waffle oh yeah uh yeah i wonder now i'm curious it's like the c word for waffle places pancake the p word i know i know uh i know i know uh i know dave do you have an overhype hey guys the other day Abby goes to these mother and child groups at the local community center yeah she goes to the Paul Simon

classic hit is that a reggae song no I think it's Paul Simon's reggae hit. Yeah. Everyone has to have at least one reggae hit in their career. Yeah. Mine is, um, uh, Jam It.

Yeah. Mine is Have a Very Waffle Christmas. It's a reggae. Mm-hmm. Was the Brian Adams reggae Christmas? Oh, reggae Christmas. Yeah. Oh, boy.

I forgot. I've been listening to the Oh, reggae Christmas. Yeah. Oh boy. I forgot. I've been listening to the Christmas radio station a lot. Yeah. And I forgot that, that even if you're a Christmas radio station, you have to, uh, follow the rules of Canadian content and play at least 35% Canadian artists,

uh, throughout your, your programming. And I had never heard a Corey Hart's version of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. Oh, no. It was like a real heartfelt cover of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. Oh, really? Yeah.

Oh, wow. I would think he would do something about sunglasses on his nose, you know? Or something like that because they're so bright. I don't know. It'd be a little bit of a workshop. We're just spitballing here. Anyway, Abby and Margo, they go every week

to this, uh, mother and baby thing. And I was picking them up and, in the parking lot, there's someone's

bumper sticker. Just say, just said, uh, uh, taking sock knitting almost too far. Just say you're

taking it too far. No one's going to question you on it. But I wonder how far is too far. You know, you're making what? You're making a bunch of them and you're putting them in a row and they form a swastika? Too far? Yeah, that is too far. Or like just going above the knee.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Absolutely. Just making a pair of knitted pants. That's way too far. Stop knitting at a certain point. Knitted pants. Is that a thing That anybody's ever had What do you mean

Like a pair of pants Knitted That are completely knitted Yeah I'm sure Is that a thing I'm sure Yeah

Have you seen them I probably see a lot of them At a music festival Or something like that Like a knitted pant Yeah Including the foot Yeah

Like a sock that goes up To the pant Up to your butt No I mean just like A pair Like a trousers But they're knitted. This conversation about knitting is going too far.

Almost. Almost. Almost too far. It's still pretty good. We have like a knit onesie for Margo, and it's like pants and a top all in one. That sounds like a real cute twin outfit. Yeah, maybe. Oh,

you could do that. You could do that with Mario. You take two pictures with two different, but similar outfits and pretend you have twins. You could send out, oh yeah,

we forgot we had twins. Let's do it years later. Yeah. Oh yeah, guess who, look who showed up late. And like, yeah,

Photoshop, like mess around with the face a bit, like they're fraternal. Yeah. Make one have fangs. Hey, guess which one we love more? Fangy. Yeah.

There's baby Mario and baby Fangor. Yeah. Fangs for asking. Graham, do you have an overheard? I do. uh graham do you have an overheard i do i uh it's similar uh kind of gutter punk aesthetic on the greyhound bus there's a guy who was talking about uh his his spirit quest that he was on great uh yeah we get there on a greyhound yeah i feel like the guy who started the conversation with him just wanted to know what kind of guitar he had and it turned into like a half hour long uh soliloquy about a spirit quest

and he's like i'm just gonna go i'm just gonna go wherever you know just the spirit tells me to go i was like so he's on a quest but there's a spirit outside of him guiding him where he's going and he's like yeah and sometimes it just takes me to these, like, really beautiful places. And other times I just sleep in the park. Thanks a lot, spirit. Spirit, was this part of your plan? Yeah, could you have led me to a bed?

Spirit's really bad at booking hotels. Shut it, buddy. They were full when I called. Yeah. Spirit's really bad at booking hotels Yeah Sorry buddy They were full when I called Yeah I looked for something on Hotwire Close to here But Nothing What kind of guitar did he have?

Just an acoustic piece of crap You know An acoustic piece of crap Okay cool Yeah I feel like the guy Really knew Two seconds into the story

That he had made the wrong You know Like the wrong was you know like the wrong call by uh trying to start up something when you get on a greyhound bus and someone has an acoustic guitar does everyone roll their eyes and like oh no we're in for it well i feel like yeah we're lucky that we didn't get a full you know rendition of uh Answer My Friend Is Blown In The Wind or something like that. Wonderwall. Oh yeah, absolutely. Or the worst self-written song

that no one knows. You'll know it by the second chorus, guys. I want this side of the bus to sing hey. I feel like that's what the astronauts must have been like when Chris Hadfield showed up with his acoustic guitar in the space shuttle. They're always trying to throw it and smash it, but it'll just float and can't leave it aside.

Fuck! Now you're going to just sing Space Oddity? Yay. But I mean, like, you know, he wakes up in the morning, he just sees his guitar, like, sailing by out in space. He has to get on the suit and go get it. Always. My axe. My space axe.

So yeah, we also got these overheards also sent in by listeners. And if you want to send one in to us, you can send it in to sbyatmaximumfun.org And this first one comes from Mark.

Mark? I want to say Mark. In Brooklyn, New York. Ah! He's up in rural Maine for Independence Day. So that'll give you a hint where i am in the overheads a couple months behind and saw some young people sitting by the side of the road

in lawn chairs with a sign that said you honk we drink america oh yeah that's a good that's a good drinking game yeah i mean just sitting on the side Of the road In a lawn chair Never done it Never done it Never tried to get early For a parade I don't think I have I went to the

Santa Claus parade This year For the first time Here? Yeah I don't think I've ever gone I got trapped downtown by it I was trapped downtown

For hours Yeah Actually I had an overheard there That was Maybe better than the one That I had Would you like to share was maybe better than the one that I had would you like to share it?

maybe I think do you want to then edit it back in the background? just replace your old one with bad to the bug we were watching the parade and I was behind I was near these two downtown bros like real done up bros

real gelled hair real muscles like super super juiced screamo dudes no yeah

they were they were like more yeah they were juiced but they were like yeah they would scream but not like in a screamo band oh no

but they but definitely juiced yeah juiced juiced up and I was watching this nice parade of like you know Celtic fiddlers and kids laughing and stuff like that.

And they were behind me having these... Next up, the grade 6 students just giggling to themselves. Oh, look at them go. They were behind me and they were having this really loud conversation about smashing chicks, which was what it was. And they were like, yeah, dude, man, I was like, I'm smashing. They were talking about different types of chicks that they were smashing. Smashing?

Is that the word they were using? I guess that's the term for having sex. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you're a wild asshole. You smash your crotches together. Super smash bros. Yeah, it's like whack-a-mole. And he had like a little dog. A wild asshole? You smash your crotches together. Paper Smash Bros? Yeah, it's like whack-a-mole. And he had like a little dog.

He had like a bulldog with a little Santa suit on. So it was like this weird thing where he'd be talking about smashing chicks and saying like, oh man, you know, here's what you do. Here's what you do to get laid on the first date. You only get one. You got a five-hour window. Here's what you do. You text him the address and you just in the text say,

meet me there. I'll take care of the rest. And the guy's like, whoa. Well, what address is it? It's like, it's your place. It's the address to your place. That mixed with people like families coming up. They're like, oh, this dog's so cute.

Can we take a picture? I'd be like, yeah, thank you. Hey, meet me at my place. He's cute. What's your number? Yeah. Can you take a picture Be like yeah Thank you Yeah Meet me at my place He is cute What's your number Yeah Can you take a picture In the next five hours

I got a small window here I feel like if you On a first date If you can Get the girl Right up to your apartment Immediately You don't need five hours

Well no You gotta make them A nice meal You gotta learn about Their personality You gotta learn How many brothers and sisters They have Yeah You gotta give them A nice meal You gotta learn About their personality You gotta learn How many brothers And sisters they have

Yeah You gotta give them A nice foot massage And watch their Favorite movie Yeah Show them your etchings You're at six hours

Right there You have to watch The TV show Blind Date Yeah Oh so Smashing Chicks Is blowing their minds With how cool Of a dude you are

Yeah yeah yeah And nice of a guy you are That's nice That's a big part of smashing chicks. I didn't know that smashing was a term. It's a term. Gross. Yeah, real gross.

No, I think it's lovely. You think it's all right? Well, I mean, if it works both ways, do they smash you back? If they like you. Are there women who are like, yeah, I smashed Michael the other day. Smashed him right in the wiener.

This next one comes from Jennifer S. in South Carolina. I was standing in line behind two college-age girls at CVS, listening to them comment on People Magazine's Hollywood's Hottest Bachelors issue. Girl one is reading the names and Girl 2 is commenting on their hotness. And hopping up and down on one leg in excitement. So these are girls that don't get out much. They get to the page with the shirtless werewolf guy from True Blood and have this exchange. Girl 1, can you even imagine being his wife or girlfriend?

Girl 2 hops and starts flapping her arms oh no i would die can you imagine being his wife or girlfriend yeah or even just meeting him no i would die or his friend i don't know yeah can you imagine eliminating him from this hottest bachelor's list because he's no longer a bachelor because of your love? Oh, yeah. Delivering him the good news, bad news. Good news, we're married. Bad news.

You're no longer people's. You're now people's hottest husband. Who is people's hottest guy? Liam or Chris Hemsworth. Liam Gallagher. Liam or Noel Gallagher. Oh, man. That's a real would you rather.

Yeah, they should redo all the Hemsworth movies with Noel Gallagher. Why does Thor have a monobrow? And a bowl cut. Do they still play? Or Oasis is done? They are, I think they're done. They're in two other bands.

Okay. Liam, Noel Gallagher's High Flying Birds and Liam Gallagher's BDI. Is that right? Could be. I didn't know. I was under the assumption that maybe they were still trying to work it out.

And then there was a bald guy in the band whose name was Bonehead. His skull is now in a museum. He's in the Oasis Skull Museum. This last one comes from Jake in Minneapolis, Minnesota. Jake A. Rowling? Yeah. That's very same. I was trying to protect their identity.

Right. But yeah, it is J.K. Rowling. I'm a fifth grade teacher, and during the school year, I invited an author to come visit my class to talk about writing. During her lesson... J.K. Rowling. Yeah. She was explaining how sometimes it can be more heroic for the protagonist to let the villain live rather than just kill them. She used Batman as an example of a merciful hero

who doesn't go around killing bad guys. And as soon as she said it, I heard a kid in the back of the room go, that's why I hate Batman. Not enough murdering. Oh, I love that creative writing classic. Yeah. I wasn't going to bring in an expert in

because you guys keep killing all your characters off. Yeah. I wasn't going to bring in an expert in because you guys keep killing all your characters off. Yeah, you create these great characters and you kill them off in the first story. Some of them are all friends and then right at the end. You build up like how many swords one guy has and then it always pays off. Yeah, I like that the kid would just, and everyone dies. The sword comes and chops everyone's heads off. The end. Now, in addition to overheards that are written in, we also accept your phone calls.

Did you know you could do that? Of course. I do all kinds of hand noises. I didn't know. Oh, there's an ad for the Clapper on right now. Okay. And it's this guy who is the world's fastest. Wait.

They're still advertising the Clapper. And Chia Pet. Oh, wow. Oh, Chia Pet is going nuts on TV right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's the guy from Duck Dynasty. Duck Dynasty. There's a zombie.

Yeah, zombie one. There's a Hello Kitty for some reason. There's Obama. That's a classic. I kind of feel like Chia Pet, though, is not, I don't mean this as a pun, but it's evergreen. Like, it's always. I wouldn't even get the pun. Oh, because it's green?

It's deciduous. But, yeah, there's an ad for the clapper, and they now have a spokesman. Okay. And it's the world's fastest clapper who claps like 300 times a minute wearing a tuxedo he's wearing a tuxedo and he's clapping so fast but it's like his hands are like they're slipping off each other like right there's no resistance it's like because he's got to get all these claps and it's like yeah and i was trying it the other day let's all try okay trying it the other day.

Let's all try it. Okay. I can't do it. Was anyone good? Oh, I think Graham's got it. Yeah, Graham's better. But it's mostly like a sandpaper sound from Graham.

Oh, you're going this way. I'm doing the up and down. What if people looked at their iPods right now and were like, there's another two hours of this episode?

I got it. I'm best. He flips his hands. I get confused. Graham's pretty good. It's really hard on my arms, though. He's going tip of the fingers to the palm of the hand. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Tip of the fingers to the palm of the hand. That sounds like what you would say at the class where you're teaching this. Yeah. Tip of the teeth about the lips. Chairman Mao. Unique as New York, we're tapping our hands. Okay, if you want to call us, our phone number is 206-339- I'm out of breath.

Yeah, me too. God, I'm in banshee. 8328. Here is your first phone call. Hey, Dave and Graham and possible guests. This is Carolyn from Revelstoke calling in with an overheard from the Greyhound Bus Depot in Salmon Arm, BC. There were two really rough-looking dudes having a conversation about people they knew in common. Guy one, do you know Dean?

Guy two, mean Dean or psycho Dean? Guy one, psycho Dean. He's still crazy. No, Dean Dean the dancing machine. Yeah, there's, I guess there's just always rough people riding the bus. There's never a time you get on the bus and you're like, everybody here looks pretty good. Unless it's like a cheerleading camp. They're all like going to finals.

Then you're like, hey, everybody here looks healthy and happy. But I guess they don't go on a great. They probably chartered their own bus. Yeah, that's true. That'd be a weird mix. Bunch of cheerleaders and then some rough dudes. And then two rough dudes. I think I've maybe taken,

I don't think I've taken a more than like a five hour bus ride. Oh yeah, I definitely have. You probably have as well. I've taken some long ones. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like Greyhound? Greyhound, yeah. Well, we used to go to improv camp like in high school.

We used to go from Vancouver to Regina on a Greyhound. Yeah, I've done that trip. Yeah, that's crazy. It is crazy. That's the trip where a guy got his head cut off? I think he was on his way to Winnipeg, no? Oh, sorry. It was a province over.

Yeah. Yeah. Don't besmirch that commute. Yeah. That commute is a fine commute. Canada's most famous bus ride. Yeah, it's true. Well, except for the one where Doug Henning did all those tricks.

Oh, really? For the natural law party? Yeah. He went on a bus tour. Now, was he Mr. Perfect? Here's your next phone call. Hey, Dave Graham and somebody else. This is Jim from Lowell, Massachusetts with an overheard.

A while back, was in a restaurant eating, and there was very few other people in the restaurant, and the only other table near us was a few seats back. We couldn't see them, and we overheard a bunch of great things from them over the course of our meal, but the one that has stuck with me was at one point after the waiter had brought their food, stuck with me was at one point after the waiter had brought their food, a woman at the table called the waiter back and overheard this. Yeah. So do you remember when I said no lettuce?

That's because I'm allergic to it. Nobody's allergic to lettuce. Yeah. No way. Now, you looked up I thought he said the same thing I think he said Called the waiter back

Back Yeah Yeah Good Yeah Cause that would be a rough thing to say And then Try and loosen it with lettuce

Lettuce pit That sucks Being allergic to lettuce Yeah that would really suck It's like being allergic to water. Yeah. Because that's all lettuce is. Water with a crunch.

Mmm. I think you just discovered a 90s drink. Yeah, lettuce. It's water with a crunch. Can we get Richard Lewis for this? Oh, yeah. No, he's too busy on Fugu commercials or whatever. Fugu or whatever.

You were mentioning Lowell, Massachusetts is the birthplace of Jack Kerouac. Yeah, yeah. I don't know why I know that, but I just, one of those facts.

I think it's the city from that movie The Fighter. Oh, yeah. With Christian Bale and Marky Mark. Yeah. Feel it, feel it.

I want the sweat coming out your pores. Your pores. Your pores. Your pores. Is that Jack Carraway? Yeah, yeah. Is that one of his poems? Yeah.

There was another ad with a guy who was like a world record breaker guy. He was just thinking about like a guy who could make the most pizza boxes. Oh, yeah. He's like on a Domino's. Yeah. But like that's not a, that's one that doesn't get any. No. He can't be invited to corporate.

No. He can't be invited to corporate. No, and he's not, he's like a, he only does Domino's boxes. It's like, he's not even a world record holder. He's just like the best guy at Domino's. So if he gave him a regulation pizza box, he wouldn't know what to do with it? Well, maybe he would, but he's, it's totally a corporate ad. Ah, yeah. It's not, it's like an in-company record. It's like, who's the fastest guy in your office?

He's not good at making pizzas, but he can fold those boxes. Yeah. Yeah. He's got those fingers. Yeah, he makes all those boxes, and then they're like, oh, we didn't get any orders tonight. Everyone hates our pizza. Unfold those boxes now.

We'll refold them tomorrow. But we fried ourselves on the freshness of the fold. That's a fresh fold. The pizza's gross, but our box is so fresh. No, they revamped it. Domino's is good now, right? What? They revamped it a few years ago.

A few years ago. They had that ad where they're like, look. Well, we know our pizza's gross. And they actually did. It's is good now, right? What? They revamped it a few years ago. A few years ago. They had that ad where they're like, look. Well, we know our pizza's gross. And they actually did. It's so good. And then they didn't change anything. No, they didn't. I don't think they did at all.

Maybe for like a month, they're like, this is so expensive. Let's go back to the other way. Oh, my God. Oh, my fucking God. Real stuff? No. This is crazy. Real cheese?

Oh, God. There's a pizza place in our neighborhood that's like a good pizza place. And they don't do delivery, but they'll do pickup, takeout. Unless they're really busy. And then they just say, no, we can't do it. So, like, anytime we call Domino's, it's because we've been rejected by the good place. Hello, Domino's. Glad to be your second choice.

I feel like that is, because I've done that before, too, when it's like, when you're like, oh, everything else is closed, Domino's. Glad to be your second choice. I feel like that is, because I've done that before, too, when you're like, oh, everything else is closed. Domino's. Domino's, I don't even have to pick up the phone. I can order online and track it. Yeah, that's true. It's got like a little tracking bar. Oh, Randy just put it in the oven.

Domino's is kind of like a shit- Philips folding your box right now. It's going to be a fresh fold, no matter what we know. Domino's has the freshest folds in the business. Yeah. Gross. Yeah, that's not it. You don't need them folded quickly.

They're not, they can't cook enough pizzas to keep up with your pace. Yeah, exactly. All right. Here's your final overheard of 2015. Hey, Dave and Graham, fabulous guests. This is Adam from Nashville, Tennessee. I have an overheard for you. I used to work in a pizza place.

I was standing around up front making some pizzas. And then all of a sudden I hear from the back, holy shit! And I walk to the back wondering what the rumpus was. And there is a teenager from the back, holy shit! And I walk to the back, wondering what the rumpus was, and there is a teenager in the back who just started working there with a squeegee in his hand, pushing water around in a circle, and he looks up at me and says, Adam, this broom brooms water!

And I said, yeah, it does. This broom brooms water? Yeah, but a squeegee. I'm brooming some dirt This guy was at a loss For words all over the place Was that the name of the TGIF show? Brooming it up?

Brooming with Mr. Cooper? Uh yeah I worked at a pizza place for a while Yeah it was a nightmare Oh why? Ah cause you gotta make it so fast. Everybody wants it, you know, like 5 p.m. on Friday. Everybody's going crazy.

Oh, yeah. Then it's dead for a couple hours, and then like 10 o'clock Friday, it goes crazy again. And it's like, you just can't make them fast enough, you know? And then there was a bar attached to it, and the only person in the bar was like a pregnant lady. Like, she was manning the bar. Where was this?

This is in Calgary. Oh, the pizza stone pizza stone bar hold called toms toms of maine toms of maine yeah super smelly they made a great natural deodorant flavored pizza uh yeah i was really bad at that job. I didn't know how to do anything right. Were you the pizza, pizza master? Uh, yeah. I made pizzas

and then also like waited tables. I was very bad at all of it. Yeah. Dark times. Dark times. But you know,

you gotta do what you do to get through, right? That's just like that clapping guy, you know, until he found out he was good at clapping. Where was he?

He was just the world's fastest masturbator. I wonder if that's... I got a five-hour window. I could do it 150 times in five hours. Gonna smash my own wiener. And then he never got to enjoy the fruits of his fame because he has a ruined dick.

Yeah. That's what nobody tells you about going for the record of top masturbator. It's like a play-doh that you just rolled back and forth too many times. No one knew there was a time there was like a limit on it. Yeah. Usually people don't make it in their lifetime.

Yeah. He flew too close to the sun That's how he has to meet girls Yeah I'm a nice guy but I've totally smashed my own dick On that note Yeah I just want you to know

I have a smashed dick I'm not like the other boys Feel the calluses on my hand You know where those came from? No, no, no. I have a smashed dick. I'm not like the other boys. Feel the calluses on my hand. You know where those came from? It's so ironic because he's meeting all these women from his clapping. It's like a Twilight Zone. Well, that brings us to the end of the episode.

Aaron, do you have anything That you would like to plug Where can people find you I'm Do the Sunday service Every Sunday At the Fox Cabaret Great venue Great show

Oh it's fun And then I think the New Year We're doing a New Year's show There might still be tickets Left for that That's at the Fox That's at the Fox

This comes out January 12th Oh okay never mind That's not happening How did show go it was great well sold out yeah sold out boxes uh doesn't exist anymore big fire oh no yeah and uh i'm okay yeah uh and then uh i don't know, I guess Twitter, but... And your Twitter name is... Twitter at Teen Farts. I love it. Are you ongoing, like, are you happy that that was the name that you chose? It's getting more and more... No, I'm not happy with it anymore. At first, I was like, the first three years, I was like, or whatever, I was like, man, this is killer.

I love it still. I think it's still good the only thing that's tough is because we opened a school oh yeah I was like I can plug that

Blind Tiger Comedy School you can look it up on Google we're teaching classes this semester when does the semester start? semester starts in January

kind of mid January okay so you can sign up there's intro classes but my business we printed out business cards, and I didn't know that our Twitter handles were going to be put on our business cards. So everyone has a real official business card, and then on the back of mine it just says,

at teen parts on it. So currently at my house there is a full pack of business cards because I can't give these to anybody. I went to dinner with my girlfriend's dad. And my girlfriend was really excited because it was like, her dad does like business or whatever. So it was like,

oh, this will be a chance for you to... So she's like, oh yeah, Aaron just opened up a school with some people. Aaron, give them your business card. I was like, I don't have any on me right now. Yeah, you threw them all into somebody's floppy. So I've got to figure out how to get the courage up to give those cards out

because I kept not changing my Twitter name. No, no, no. Why don't you get a different Twitter to put on the cards? Nope. No way. I just got to get the courage. That's a good idea. I'm going to do that.

Have the courage Of your convictions Be teen farts Yeah be teen farts Oh be teen farts Bring out the teen farts And all And those around you They were in you the whole time

That's my new year's resolution No one wants that Oh But yeah that's it That's great Those are good Those are good plugs Yeah great plugs

Some of the best Better than Charlie Sheetons Mmm Does he Is he famously a bald He had Yeah Apparently Ben Affleck Is like best. Better than Charlie Sheetons. Is he famously bald? Apparently Ben Affleck is like the guy that everybody says has plugs. Really?

I'm not saying that he is or isn't. We all know Jeremy Pippen has a rich, healthy, natural full head of hair. Yeah, that just grew back. He's one of the lucky ones. Yeah, a lot of people when they go bald, it's forever. People think it's plugs, but it was a genie. Teen genie. Teen genie.

Teenie weenie genie. That was the other show. Teenie weenie genie. Teenie weenie genie. That's not a bad show title. Yeah, it's not bad at all. Teenie weenie genie.

Teenie weenie genie inside of a panini. Someone just rubbed this sandwich. Yeah, that's the origin episode is them frying up a panini they're like wait what's that sound and they open a panini and he's just burned and dies it's a one episode thing oh well this episode is good to the last drop absolutely it, absolutely it is. Yeah, if you're in Toronto and you want to come see a comedy show,

I'll be there doing a show called Graham Clark Reads the Phone Book. That is going until when? The 18th. So get it. Get it now. Yeah, get on it. And if you like the show, please do head over to MaximumFun.org and check out the blog recap that Dave does each and every week,

pictures and videos relating to the content of this podcast. I'll have certainly that video of this guy. Yeah. I feel like if it's more based on sound, this is better. Yeah, I know. But we're trying to replicate this technique. Graham's got it. Graham has got it.

Graham has got it. Oh, Graham, you could be a gypsy king. I'd have to lift some weights. Out of breath. And also probably a TGIF lineup. Sure. Was the dinosaurs ever part of the TGIF lineup? I think so.

Yeah. Apparently the year before you were born, the TGIF lineup was in its infancy. It was pre-2020. Oh. It had Perfect Strangers at 8, Mr. Belvedere at 8.30, an hour of Max Headroom. Oh, really? In an hour? Yeah. Jesus. And then

oh, I don't have it in front of me. I think it was the TV show Starman. Oh, I remember Starman. Weird. Yeah. And if you like the show, please do tell your friends and come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself. MaximumFun.org Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Listener supported.