Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 373 - Ryan Beil

Episode Date: May 11, 2015

Ryan Beil returns to talk spring training, Pet Shop Boys, and Burger Chef.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 373 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who while I wear high heels, he wears sneakers. He's cheer captain and I'm on the bleachers? Correct. Well done, Dave Shumka.

What's the one about t-shirts? Is that also? Yeah, she wears short skirts. I wear t-shirts. That's weird. Because one is a skirt and the other is a top. Yeah. So what's going on there? So she just doesn't wear.

She's pantsless. Whoa. She's basically wearing a big nightie. Oh, that. There it is. That's what it is. Taylor Swift's current song also rhymes t-shirts and skirts. What's the current one?

I got a weird shirt, dumb skirt thing in your bike. You've got hot pants, turtle dance, do what you like. And when we go to the prom, it is every night because

we are crazy folks. We are crazy people. Oh man. That was as good as the lyrics. Yeah. And our guest today, returning guest, one of our faves, one of the members of the Sunday service, Mr. Ryan Beal. Thank you for having me.

Thank you for coming back. Ryan Beal. Ryan Beal, everybody. Welcome. Thank you. Shall we get to know us? Yeah. Get to know us.

Ryan Beale. Yeah. It's been a while since you've been on. You started your own viral campaign. I did. Which is not usually... A testament to my ego. Yes.

Tell us all about it. Well, I was bored on set of a film, a film and TV actor. Right, yeah. I was playing a part. People might remember you from Big Eyes. Yeah, Big Eyes and or the A&W commercials. Yeah. For how long were you on the commercials for A&W?

I did seven of them. And one that's never been seen because it's too weird, in which I played my own mother. Oh, really? I come and then my mother is insulted by the Alan character in it. And then I challenged the Alan character in it to a duel. And A&W was like, wait, that's just a little too strange.

Why don't we let you? Why don't we let the actor, right? I looked a little too beautiful for the world. So is the guy, the rounder guy, his name is Alan? Alan. Okay, has I never picked up that he had a character name? Alan Lulu, yeah.

He's a great guy. He lives in Los Angeles. He's a cool guy Alan Lulu. Yeah. He's a great guy. He lives in Los Angeles. He's a cool guy to hang out with. Is A&W, A&W is a root beer everywhere. But is it a restaurant everywhere? No, A&W USA and A&W Canada are totally different. Okay. Yeah, they're not connected.

Oh, really? Anyway, okay. So these were just A&W Canada. These were just Canadian commercials. Okay. Yeah. Because during the campaign, I was going to tweet to A&W Canada and found out I had been blocked by them. Is that long ago you've been blocked?

Yeah, I think so, yeah. Yeah, yeah. But it was weird because I was like, oh, I'm going to tweet this thing. And then it said, you cannot access. And the thing was, I did a bunch of commercials, and then they decided to not use me anymore in the commercials. Kept using Alan. Kept using Alan. Got rid of, phased out Ryan.

Phased out right. Ryan. And no one ever knew what happened to the character, but he just didn't show up anymore. Right. And then they started sending this guy out of the fictional world into real people land and asking questions. Breaking the fourth wall if you will. Going up to people

on the street. Pay no mind to verisimilitude whatsoever. The NW man is in the streets. Going up to people on the street, making them take their sunglasses off and put them on their forehead. In your shirt. In your shirt. In your shirt or in the buttons.

All good places. And giving them what I'm assuming are lukewarm hamburgers that haven't been like it's not directly out of a kitchen. No, that's probably right. Again, I haven't been on set so I can't comment.

We can though. We can imagine. I imagine they can't be that warm. They can't be that set, so I can't comment. We can, though. Exactly. Well, no, we can imagine. I imagine they can't be that warm. They can't be that warm. You're right, Dave. And so in the years since you've been on the... On the lam.

I realize why we don't usually drink drinks with ice in them. It's because of the microphones. Pick them up. Yeah, it's very clinky-clinky. In the years since, you've gone into a deep depression deep depression deep deep dark hole took my resume to every other fast food organization they wouldn't have me a wendy's a jack in the box uh yeah i've been doing other things and then i was bored one day and i was sort of just wanted to sort of uh jokingly sort of uh rub it in their faces a little bit that I was still around and people wondered where I was.

So what was the first move? Well, I just started tweeting at them that I just told them, no bones about it, I'm starting a viral campaign to get my job back. I'm going to force you. You wrote them on Twitter? I wrote them on Twitter. This is all happening on Twitter. Giving my job back, and then people started retweeting it.

I also contacted. I had nothing to do, so I was contacting people, begging them to contribute. And then from there it grew. I started a website. By contribute tweets. Contribute tweets. You weren't raising money there it grew. I started a website. By contribute tweets. Contribute tweets. You weren't raising money. I raised over $25,000.

And a boat. Yeah. No, I raised no money. No one gave me money. Contributing, you're right, just by tweeting and retweeting. Yeah.

A very useless, yeah, there's nothing actually tangible going on here. This is all Twitter campaign yeah but it became a war of escalation because they

wouldn't respond so they weren't escalating okay yeah what do you call that an attack of escalation yeah it's not a war

so much yeah if one side is not participating whatsoever a harassment of escalation yeah yeah yeah or terrorism yeah

I was theorizing them but they didn't respond for a long period of time is not participating whatsoever. A harassment of escalation. Or terrorism. I was theorizing them. But they didn't respond for a long period of time and then eventually they responded and we sort of got a dialogue going. Like a hostage situation.

And then they made a video with my face in it and then so I think like we're close to perhaps doing something. Like I always wanted to get my job back. And I may. Of all, who knows?

Maybe they'll hear this show and be like, nope. But who knows? I don't know. I mean, I think I'm still lovable. Yeah, yeah. Well, of course. You're the most lovable. What sort of things were people tweeting?

Like, bring Ryan back. Where's Ryan? We settled on Ryan back. Where's Ryan? We settled on a hashtag, where has Ryan been? Hashtag, where has Ryan been? Who's the we? It's me again. Me. The team.

Well, I began to joke that I had a team. I did one tweet where I was meeting with my legal team, but it was just my dogs. My two dogs. So we were all having a good time. But we were hashtagging things, saying, where's Ryan Bean? A lot of comedians doing some very funny jokes as well. And it happened very quickly after that. It did.

It's one of those things. Like, I thought it was going to be like, this thing's going to peter out. Yeah, and you know what? It's going to get sad fast. I thought it was going to turn ugly. You know what? I thought for sure someone was going to be like, I hate this guy.

I hate him. I hate every part. You know what I mean? Or if it just would get ugly, you know what I mean? I thought it would be like a fire hose out of my control and, you know, destroying me.

Oh, yeah. Ryan's been touching little kids. That's where he's been. Stuff like that. Exactly. Trolling. Horrible things being said. You look like an asshole you know

I hate you but thankfully nothing it was all photoshopping your face onto a lot the crazy thing was it all stayed fairly positive and jovial

oh fairly what was the worst how bad did it get someone did post something very anti-Alan at one point oh Alan yeah

and I and I and I was like I sort of nipped that in the bud because that was never the I wasn't I was trying to I sort of nipped that in the bud because that was never the, I wasn't, I was trying to, I was trying to give a noogie to A&W. I wasn't trying to give a noogie to Alan. Right.

A loving noogie. Alan's your partner. But like with a little bit of, you know. Yeah, like a little knuckle in it. A little bit of knuckle in it. So it's very close to happening. Very close to happening. I think, yeah, I think it'd be fun to reunite.

And I don't know, they sort of bought into the whatever, the hashtag I came up with. Yeah. You can't, they put a video out, so something has to happen with that

video, I don't think. They can put out this sort of like leading question about where has the character Ryan been. So I think they want to do something with it. We'll just see.

That's, because now it's like a company can't, they can't ignore a thing like that. I think they could've. I think they could've waited a week. I think a bunch of them

probably wanted to. Yeah. But what else, you know, they're clear, you know, at their end, this is probably

why I've been blocked by A&W, their ads are terrible now. Ryan doesn't agree with that. Well, I can't say, I haven't been on the set. No, but I can say it.

Send out this guy, this fictional guy to go ask people if they care about hormones. And then, like you say, give them a cold burger. How does that taste?

Yum. Anyways, it's great. Great use of Twitter. Yeah, it's, yeah. Some people are spreading revolution. I'm getting an acting gig back. Maybe.

I like their old fries better. Can you tell them that? I will, absolutely. What were their old fries? They were better. These ones look better. They got a little bit of skin on them. The old ones were the best fries.

Were they super skinny? I forget. They probably have a binder. That's what the old fries were. Do they have just like a yearbook of all the pictures of their old foods? Yeah. That one, 1996. Oh, it's with a good one.

And then, like Dave said before, you were in, I just saw it this weekend, Big Eyes. Tim Burton. Yeah, that was like a who's who of Vancouver landmarks and people. And people and actors. Yeah, it was cool. And it was like an interesting film. We don't have to review the film. No.

Did you like the film? I liked the film. Yeah. I haven't seen it. It was sort of Tim Burton doing sort of a not too crazy movie. Yeah. It was nice to see that. He didn't put all of the regulars intoo-crazy movie. Yeah. It was nice to see that. He didn't put all of the regulars in it.

Yeah, exactly. And it was nice to see he could still just like. I was Johnny Depp. You were Helena Bonham Carter. Exactly. But he could still direct a movie, you know, that it didn't have to be a reimagining of something. Absolutely.

It could just be like, here's a story. And he was an amazingly inspiring man, like, because he was like, it was a night shoot, it was really like late. Yeah. And like,

he was like, Will he only shoot at night? Is he weird? Yeah. Yeah. He wears a cowl. Strange. Yes.

Yes. So yes, he set himself up for that. It happened to be at night and it was really, it was dragging, it was really big, you know,

lots of shots and it was a period piece so like there's all these like there was like the whole street had been taken over by these old guys with old cars

who just rent out their old cars to movies oh cool oh yeah that's the life old white guys just like where you

want me to park my car sitting in a car doing crossword but he was boundless like every shot he was like in there like non-stop energy like really inspiring you know and like we dragged on he was like he knew my name right away he was in there, nonstop energy, really inspiring.

We dragged on. He knew my name right away. He was like, sorry, Ryan, we'll get to you when we can. I'd be like, sure. Tim Burton. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You better. I'll fucking walk.

I got half an offer from A&W. Do you know where my Bewick LeSabre is parked? In the crew park. Yeah. You shouldn't be. You're not crew. No, I'm not crew. Shouldn't be. You're not crew. No, I'm not crew. Never will be.

Now, when you're playing a character and you see these cars, which car do you picture yourself in? Like the shorter ones? You know those 50s cars that look like a 50s car, but they're a little shorter? Yeah.

Maybe a two-seater? Maybe. And maybe... Some kind of like a little coupe. Maybe they're also amphibious. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Why not have a car that can drive into a lake? But it's on the warranty.

If you do try to drive this into a lake, it voids the warranty. If it's successful, please write us a letter, I guess, in the 50s. Take a picture. Call us. Klondike 5. Amphibious. Klondike 5 Amphibia But it's

Yeah because you're You actually You're like You're talking And it's like a very Yeah Pivotal moment in the movie And

Yeah it's one scene It's nothing crazy Like my character Doesn't have a name I'm nosy Art guy I think Right Or nosy guy

I think You've Have you had other roles Where you You have a character Name like that? Oh, totally. And they've been significant characters,

but if you look at my MD, he's like, oh, he's just some stupid extra. I play Alien 1, which was like this, the lead character in this episode, and it's like Alien number one. Give me a name, you freaks. Like Zordon or something.

You don't have to say it. Or Russell. Sure, Peter. Zordon. something you don't have to say it or Russell yeah sure Peter Zordon or Gordon Gordon it's Gordon

did you have a name in the Nick Cannon one I did it was Warren Williams yes yes Warren Williams Warren Williams

Warren Walter Williams technically oh is there like a pay grade difference if you if you have a name versus no name is there like an A grade difference if you if you have a name versus

no name is there like a different pay or something no it's structured in like what you're what you're doing

huh I wonder why they have characters that don't have names though I think they don't have to say them

I guess I guess yeah or maybe there is I know not I am the business side of

I could be getting fucked around by my agent I know nothing about the business side of things could be getting fucked around by my agent. I know nothing about the business side of things. I make these wild things. Yeah, that sounds about right. I think that's about as much as I can make off of that.

But there's like, wasn't it like Naked Gun would have in the credits people who had one line and then they would just that was their line. And then the actors. Oh, really? Yeah. It would be like, hey, you. And then the actors. That was a pretty good way Yeah, it would be like, hey, you, and then the actor's name. That was a pretty good way of doing it. The pull-out, so.

Yeah, exactly. He doesn't have a character name. Now, to switch gears, did you go to spring training this year? I did. How was it? It was great. Where do you, is this Arizona? Arizona, the Cactus League.

Cactus League, as opposed to the Citrus League. The Grapefruit League. The Grapefruit League. In Florida. Yeah, in Florida. So, Cactus League as opposed to the citrus? The Grapefruit League. Close. The Grapefruit League. In Florida. Yeah, in Florida. So Cactus League, how big is this? So they like half the teams go to Florida, half the teams go to Arizona, and they all kind of play in like surrounding areas. Like they all have like a little home stadium.

Right. Some minor league park, which is their stadium, but they're all sort of quite near each other. So you can like go check out lots of teams. And how many years have you gone? This is the third year I've gone down. To always to Arizona? Always to Arizona. My parents are snowbirds, so they got like a condo down there.

So then, you know, just shack up with them, go see some ball. Is it called shacking up with your parents? Well, the way I do it, I'm kissing and hugging. And is it always the same teams are in Cactus League? Yeah, primarily, yeah. Okay, so like your beloved Chicago Cubs. Are there. They won't go into the Lemon League.

No, the Lemon League. The Sour League. Yeah, the Limonada League. No, they're there. And so I got to see them. And then the nice thing about going down in spring training, if you're a bit of a nerd, a lot of the prospects are up playing. They haven't been cut yet, so they're around to watch,

so that's kind of cool. So what do you do? What does it mean you go into it? You go to a game. But they have a little schedule. They play a pretend season before the incredibly long baseball season starts. Oh, wow. So you go.

They just play games. They play games, and you go watch. Like full games? Full games, yeah. Oh, wow. Most of the big players just play games. They play games and you go watch. Like full games? Full games, yeah. Oh, wow. Most of the big players will leave after three innings because they're just

getting geared up. Right. And they'll like literally walk out, like get in their car and drive. They've got their car on the field,

driving. Yeah. They do a, there's a jump. Like a stunt jump. It's very exciting. But we just missed this year, I don't know if you saw

that Will Ferrell stunt. Oh, yeah. He went down to the Cactus League, and he played an inning on every team. So one day, a couple days, he went around and did jokes. He even pitched. Oh, yeah, he played every position. Because, again, the games don't matter. They don't matter.

No one's actually trying. They're all working on specific things. I also feel like Will Ferrell's movies don't matter. It's always just an excuse for him to go do wacky stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sure. It's like, oh, Will Ferrell's got a new movie coming. What weird thing is he going to do?

Peer on American Idol and sing a song. Yeah. It's just for a Speedo somewhere. Yeah, exactly. He's going to just do crazy stuff all over the place. Yeah, kiss a water slide I was riffing off Speedo I don't know

Okay Some kind of water slide Marriage movie Did he only do Did he only do Cactus League Or did he He only did Cactus League Oh okay

Cause he could do the Could do the whole thing He could you know fly Like do the morning In the In the lime league I'm sure if this gets Some views

They'll do that next Yeah yeah yeah So are most of the people that are watching this, are they local? A lot of local people. A lot of people travel to like a little vacation.

Like you do? Yeah, like a lot of people in the States will drive there. Like a lot of, it's a lot of old kids, a lot of older people. But it's like, a lot of older people,

it's sunny. Yeah, it's winter. It's like still March, right? Exactly. So it's a night, a lot of people do travel. There's like, it's big business for the little towns in Arizona. Like Scottsdale where my parents live, it's like they've devoted themselves to the San Francisco Giants.

And it's like full of fucking people who come over from San Francisco and like hang out. And there's like little golf carts that take you to the stadium. So every team plays in a different little town? Sort of. Like they have their own little stadium. Most of the time they kind of have their own little town type things. That's fascinating. Cubs are in

Mesa. Okay. Oh yeah. I love the pottery. I do love the southwest style though. I like the deserts. Oh yeah? Beautiful. I like the little rancher houses. Yeah. And the colors are all beautiful. Turquoise. Turquoise everywhere. You wear all your turquoise jewelry.

And if you go to Old Town Scottsdale, it's just nothing but stores that are like going out of business with turquoise. Right. Like 99 million percent off this turquoise. Please. Please, God, look at our turquoise. What is turquoise?

Is it a rock? It's a rock that's turquoise. What is turquoise? Is it a rock? It's a rock that's turquoise. Right? It's a mineral? Yeah, it's not a gem, though. No, it's a rock. I don't know. We're going to get mail on this.

Yeah, absolutely. You guys get mail? Yeah, from Arizona. Do you get hate mail? Do you get like, you were wrong about this type of bullshit? Oh, constantly. Always? Absolutely.

That's the number one thing we get. Oh, constant. Always? Absolutely. That's the number one thing we get. As though it's more important that we are right about everything than that we keep it moving. Although, having said that, we'll look up what turquoise is. Absolutely.

Yeah, no, I don't want to get deep with Arizona. No. What's that thing that's all over Arizona? It's like an image of somebody blowing into a flute. Oh, yeah. That's like everywhere. It is everywhere. When have you been to Arizona? I just know this.

I just know. I just know this. I know it has to do with the native cultures around there. I don't know what's specific. Yeah. I know it's all. You know what I'm talking about. I do, yeah.

When you go to the Phoenix and you drive out, they've got that design. On everything. Everywhere. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Everywhere. But nobody's ever explained it to me or anything? No. Not that I've ever asked anybody.

I mean, no, I've asked everybody. Maybe they don't want us to know. It's Arizona's Da Vinci thing. Now, here's what you need to know about turquoise. Go on. It's a blue to green mineral that is a hydrous phosphate of copper and aluminum with a chemical formula of CuAl6PO4 for OH8 4H2O. So write to us at C-A-L-P-O-4. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Wow. 4H2O. So it's you and a lot of old timers? A lot of old people. We'll like RV there. Okay. There's some. So it's you and a lot of old timers? A lot of old people will RV there. Okay. You will RV there?

I wish. Oh, my God. I hate to fly. Old people will RV there. I would say there's a lot of people that drive. Now, you hate to fly. You're not afraid to fly. I'm not afraid in that because I fly a lot just for, you know.

Biz. Biz. Sure. So I will get on a plane, but if I could work it out, I would gladly sacrifice. For instance, I have to go to Toronto in May, and I just got a movie, but if I hadn't got that movie, I was going to take an Amtrak train in the States. Because going through Seattle and then cutting up through Buffalo, it isn't that unreasonable. Like, taking a train in Canada is nuts. Yeah.

But Amtrak isn't. And even for a little roommate, it was getting around $900-ish to get to Toronto. But wait a minute. You would have to go from here to Seattle, then across the states, and then up through. It would have taken a full week. But I think it takes a full week through Canada as well. I thought you were going to say on plane. And I was like, no, I've definitely like a full week. But I think it takes a full week through Canada as well. I thought you were going to say on plane. And I was like, no, I've taken, I've definitely taken the plane.

It takes me a full week. We land every hundred meters. Yeah. Have you ever done a crazy long train ride like that? Never. I've only done it in Toronto to Ottawa. That's the longest train I've ever done. I think you told us, I don't know if this was on the air,

but you once told me about a great bus ride you took to Chicago. But I think that was on the air. I don't think we need to repeat that. Yeah, exactly. But you would rather do ground transport than the short little plane ride? I would.

Really? I would. That's fascinating. I would absolutely. Now there's an RV parked across the street from my house. Yeah. How long do I have to wait before I call?

Until you can move in? Before I can get it towed. Oh. Yeah. I mean, is it illegally parked or? It's been five days it hasn't moved. Does it have insurance? I don't know.

I mean, that's where you got, that's your go-to. If it has insurance and it's not parked illegally, I don't think there's much you can do. Oh, yeah, you can. Really? Yeah, you can't leave a car parked indefinitely. Yeah, you can't just park a car. Well, you're going to have to prove that it's there. You're going to have to take some pictures and document that it's there.

I can do that. That's what you're going to have to do. Because I tell you, that RV guy's got this shit figured out. It's not his first rodeo. You think homeowners have been on his case before. I also, I think he has roof leaks because the top of his RV is just covered in tarps.

I remember when I was a kid, a couple people drove their car and slept in front of our house. They were like a young couple. Who knows what turmoil that was going on in their lives. And I was a little kid and I went out with my dad in the morning to like roust them. They said your dad sent you.

They were harming no one. Here, take a pot and a stick. Hey, hey, hey, get out of here. You know what? Like, yeah, it sucks. But it's like the broken window thing. Sure. It doesn't happen in good neighborhoods. Yeah, it sucks, but it's like the broken window thing. Sure.

It doesn't happen in good neighborhoods. So you want that out of your neighborhood as soon as possible. If you're in a relationship and both of you are sleeping in a car, when do you pull the plug on that relationship and go, hey, you know what? Even just lying on the curb would be better than sharing a car with another human being. Or just like, you know, I got demoted from the bed to the couch, but then you got demoted to the car and we burned the bed. Yeah.

So we're both in the car. And where do you sleep when we have a fight? You can sleep on that guy's lawn. Yeah, go sleep in the trunk. Trunk do you sleep when we have a fight? You go sleep on that guy's lawn. Yeah, go sleep in the trunk. Trunk, bench, or backseat. Wheel well. Yeah, go sleep on the roof. Strap yourself onto the roof.

Get in the Thule. Is it a Thule or Thule? A Thule? Yeah. I think it's Thule. Get on the kayak rack. Thule? Thule?

Yeah. I think it's Thule. Get on the kayak rack. Yeah. I just, I feel like, I don't know. If you had a motorcycle, I was going to say, then you'd make them sleep in the sidecar. But why would you sleep on the motorcycle, Bart? Yeah.

Yeah, the sidecar is the prime real estate. Really hard to sleep on a motorcycle. You ever try to sleep on a plane where you put the tray table down and you sleep? Oh, that's the worst. Like where you fold up your arms? It's like last resort. Yeah, I've tried that. Last resort. See, I also really hate people in those situations.

You know what I mean? Because we've all been forced as enemies on the plane. You know, you can only take one carry-on, and on that carry on is okay if it's just like you know a flat screen TV no one bats a fucking eye yeah line up in zones but I know

that guy not in his fucking zone and like I'm always in zone like nine or whatever oh yeah the zoner system is not for anybody

I hate the zone system I'm always in a shitty zone middle plane like last zone front of the plane last zone why is it bad to be in the last zone?

Because you've got to wait. You've got to wait. And if you wait... Well, why do you care? Why do you want to be on the plane so soon? I don't really... So this is the thing. I guess it's like when I...

I don't like myself when I drive, you know what I mean? It brings up this, like, primally angry piece of shit. It's like, well, that guy's going to put his fucking carry-on in my fucking space. Even though, like, I'm probably going to put my bag under the seat or whatever. Like, I just want to, like, rip his face off or hers. Yeah.

Oh, yeah, absolutely. You're an equal opportunity champion. I'm an equal opportunity chimpanzee. But the, yeah, it's the zone.

Yeah, those people that, you know, they're just, they don't pay attention to the zone. They're like, well,

what are they going to do? Exactly. No one's going to do anything. They're like, well, what are they going to do? Exactly. No one's going to do anything. They can't do anything. Sometimes they get denied at the gate, and that's great. Oh, it's the best. So sweet. It's so sweet.

And they kind of like look for friends, like throwing their arms up, looking for an ally. And sometimes a couple people get denied, and they make a whole announcement. Yes. They're like, just remember your zone number. It really makes those people look dumb. And you can look at them. Yeah, it feels good to make an announcement because they don't want more of you. And the people with the carry-on situation has gone berserk this year.

It's gone mental. Because it used to be, you know, okay, you got one free bag, but now they've just taken that away. So it's all, everybody's trying to carry the maximum. It is now a lot of, like, every flight I've been on, they've said, this flight is full, so you might not even get the one bag. Exactly. And they don't, like, it's an industry that just, I mean, I know there's lots of them that don't care, but they just don't like it's an industry that just I mean I know there's lots of them that don't care

but they just don't care they don't even care that we're going to kill a few people every year you know they know that they're going

to kill a few people they just will in the airline industry yeah in the airline they're going to kill a few people and they might be among them

that's true and then I'm a little afraid I'm a little afraid in the sky the turbulence I am afraid of dying on a little afraid. I'm a little afraid in the sky, the turbulence. I am afraid of dying on a plane. Sure. For sure.

I can't stop thinking about it the whole time. I think I'm all right with that part. I think like once I'm on a plane, I'm so uncomfortable that I'm like, Might as well die. Yeah, it'd be fine if I died. Like if I land, then it's fine too. But you know what I mean? Either or.

Yeah. I've flown through turbulence lately where i've been like well if this is it this is it yeah yeah you gotta go sometime oh i i uh i really should teach graham to release the episodes that i've already edited yeah yeah yeah exactly uh i'm like sending a text i'm like stressed out and that's the other thing too i think about that a lot on planes I know that if I did die on the plane my last image or thought would be something

so dumb or stupid it would be like I hate you old man and your stupid cross you know what I mean it would be like I'd look at a guy that like

you know I'd think about something dumb I wouldn't think about like my first kiss or like or I would strangle that old man. If the plane was going down, I'd be like,

I'm going to murder him before the plane crashes. Yeah, it's funny. Like, it's the, whatever your, like, status is in real life, like, oh, this guy's, you know, super tall and good looking and rich, but on the plane, like, what a fucking asshole. That would be a great movie, like a plane that's going down and then a guy just decides to strangle this annoying guy for no reason, but then they don't crash.

And he has to live with that or be arrested for it. That's a whole movie? Yeah, that's the beginning of it. That Denzel Washington airplane upside down movie flight flight i think it was called flight i feel like that should have been like just a 20 minute twilight zone yeah it's true there was a lot of not flight in that movie but that one flight yeah quite a trailer um yeah there there was a a guy last week or the week before that he fell asleep on the plane. And he woke up and the woman next to him was stabbing him with a pen.

Oh, Jesus. Because he fell asleep and was snoring. Right. And so she just lost it. She went crazy. And then they put her on another flight later that day. Oh, good. So they're just like, well, we know that air craziness

is one of the hazards of this job. You should have heard him snoring. Like, you know, he was a racist snorer. Yeah. The captain wanted to stab him, but he was busy. He was busy flying the plane. But yeah, like, we've all been next to somebody

that we wanted to do something to, right? Absolutely. On a long-haul flight. It's funny, like, the amount of, like, crashes where, like, it's the most important news story, like the Indonesian plane that disappeared. Disappeared. Or the pilot. The German.

Yeah, where they locked the pilot out of the thing. That was so scary. And then it's the biggest news story for like a long time, two weeks. And then all of a sudden, it's just not. Yeah. No, that's true. It does. Well, because it's like, you know, this kid kind of drops out.

Although the thing with that. You just did it in a plane kind of crash. I did a plane drop. Yeah. But they never found that plane, did they? The Indonesia one? No. I don't think so.

So it kind of dropped out of the news, mostly the news was like we got nothing here well yeah well we can keep reporting that we have no news but like this is that kind of a symptom of the like isn't that how all news kind of goes in this 24-hour news cycle sort of thing like we move on a little a little right quick yeah they want we want isn't there like a famous story about something that happened like the day before 9-11 and then... Oh, yeah, there's something. What is it, though? Oh, it was like some senator killed a bunch of reindeer.

Santa Claus. It was Santa Claus. No, there was. There was a senator. Santa Claus in Alaska. Yeah. As close as he can get There was a guy And there was some sort of thing

He had had an affair Well this is exactly The kind of thing People write us about This is fine I'm ready to speculate Wildly Let's go

Let's go New segment There should be a segment Where you guys just speculate Wildly on anything That's most of the show Okay There was a governor That had an affair with somebody,

and then that woman that he had an affair with vanished. Oh, yeah. Was it a governor? It was a governor or a senator. Was it Nancy Pelosi? No, no, no. It wasn't Nancy Pelosi. It wasn't Nancy Pelosi.

Okay. But he was the number one news story, and then kind of right in the middle of it, 9-11 happened. And then that story never got clarified, but they were, the media was hinting

that he was somehow involved in her disappearance. I remember this. Do you remember? She went disappearing jogging, I believe, in Washington. Yes, yes, That's it!

This is good. This is good speculation. And she had like curly hair. No, no. I remember being brown and straight.

Kind of a bob. Yeah. What do you guys remember? Oh, yeah. No, the senator's name was Bob. Oh, this is

dark and funny. Yeah. But you're right. I think that's what it was. I think that was the story. I think that was the story. And if you write in and correct us, you're wrong. We were thinking of a different story.

Yeah. Dave, what's going on with you, man? Oh, you guys. Not much. How's the babe? How old's the babe? The babe is, at this point, seven months and a bit. Just met her upstairs again.

I think that's the first time I met her. I can't remember. In this internet world and the amount of drugs and alcohol I do, I don't know what's real anymore. Slipping in between realities. Oh, so that was the first time you met her in real life? I think so. That wouldn't surprise me.

I feel like I might have met her in passing, but I've seen so many pictures of her, it's hard to recollect. Yeah. You guys hang out in different places. We do. Yeah. I mean, I go see other babies.

Yeah. She's great. She laughs a lot. She is eating solid foods. Yep. She's making this noise where she's like, rah! Yeah, she's a big growler. Yep. She's making this noise where she's like, rah. Yeah, she's a big growler.

Yeah. But she also, she kind of throws her hands up kind of aggressively. Yeah. As if she's just, in an MMA parlance, dummied a guy. Ah, yeah, there we go.

If you say so. Ah. She, it's funny, when she's not wearing, when she's just in a diaper, she's like, you know, just in a diaper She's like You know Chubby

Absolutely And like Baby style Rolls everywhere But when she does that It's like She just tight Her muscles all tighten up

Yeah You can really see Her barbed wire tattoos Yeah yeah yeah She's an MMA baby That's my MMA baby Putting my sleeper on down me

She's a dummy to God Referee separate us or I'm gonna kill him MMA baby I know it's great I just don't have anything to contribute I don't know anything about MMA either It's as good as any song from that era The fact that you said dummy to guy Well the only thing I know it's great I just don't have anything to contribute I don't know anything

about MMA either as any song from that era the fact that you said dummy to guy well the only thing I know about MMA is the

from the I love the reality TV show they do where they put all the MMA dudes in a house in a house yeah and make them live together

like aggressively yeah aggressively live together who didn't do the dishes totally totally I'll fix the leaky fuck. And the same thing in real life. You talking about me?

Literally bullshit gossip and rumors, but then they will fight full tilt. This is so funny. Have you ever gone and watched an MMA thing in a sports bar? No, I can't deal with the actual MMA fighting. I find it too gross to watch. Yeah. I don't get it. I don't get it.

I don't like the headshots and the look on their faces when they're like knocked unconscious. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I haven't done it on purpose. Like gone somewhere where people... I've gone where... Oh, the comedy show starts after the MMA. Oh, yeah. Right, right.

Oh, am I free to go am I free to leave at any point um I know lots of people who love it like you know like

you know lots of like and interesting like people will turn up in my life who like love MMA and I would never suspect

yeah it's when you like when you find out that a really smart person you know is a Beastie Boys fan yeah like the Beastie Boys just fine I love the Beastie Boys fan. Yeah, like the Beastie Boys

just fine. I love the Beastie Boys. No, it's dumb. You're like a dumb thing. No way. But like, cool.

Yeah, somebody told me too is like MMA or like bare knuckle boxing is like less violent than boxing. Less damage than the glove.

People have said that to me too. Yeah. And that's true? Yeah, because boxers, you'll punch way past when your hands would allow you to punch. I see. And you'll be hit way past

what your brain is able to handle. Right. Like in MMA, people just get knocked out. Right. But in boxing, they stand there for 12 rounds just getting punched in the head. Right. That in boxing, they stand there for 12 rounds just getting punched

in the head. Right. Right. That's the behest of the mob. Yeah. Exactly. So here's what's

going on with me. Here we go. I've been... MMA fighting. Abby... Dummying chumps. Abby's mother has been staying

with us for a while and so that means that there is another car in the house. So I can take my car to work. And there's a car at home while I'm at work. But then Abby's mother has been back at her home on Gabriola Island the last couple of weeks. So I've been taking the bus to work. And it's like

every bad bus thing happens right away. Like within two days of taking the bus. Like a checklist. Yeah. The two biggest were

this guy got kicked off the bus. Well, he was like, there was a guy on the bus who was like the, he was acting as sort of like the king of the bus. I was going to say king of the bus. I was hoping guy on the bus who was like the, he was acting as sort of like the king of the bus.

I was going to say king of the bus. I was hoping king of the bus. Well, not really king of the bus. Like he wasn't like bossing people around, but he was trying to be like, he was wearing a crown and maybe more of an ambassador. He was setting up a council.

But he was more like, let's move back. Let's everybody move back. Oh God. And if you get too hot feel free to crack open a window oh he's shouting instructions but he also had a similar voice to the bus driver who was also shouting instructions all right and so uh it was sort of confusing until uh and the bus driver was also pretty mouthy like he would he would stop the

bus to go around a car that was blocking the bus lane and open the door and like yell at the guy you gotta move that car yeah oh wow i like that i love uh yeah i love a talky bus driver and then they were both talky this guy and the bus driver until uh uh this uh the bus driver kicked the guy off the bus. Oh, really? Wow. For using racial slurs. Oh, Jesus. Okay. All right.

So fun's fun. Now get the fuck off my bus. Okay, let's separate the races on the bus if we could. Separate the races. Feel free to crack a window of another race that's smellier than you. Bye. Basically. Oh, wow. And then the next

day, it was that awful thing that happens on the bus where the transit security just decides A, we're going to hop on the bus and check everybody's passes. Quick spot check on everybody. Which is just a poor people hunt.

It is the... And the transit cops, have you explained, for the people that don't live in Vancouver, are not the coolest. They're the worst of the cops. Oh, we haven't explained that. They're like the nerd cops who couldn't become cops, and all of a sudden the government was like, well, let's give them guns. Yeah. They don't have guns.

Don't we have guns? These aren't gun guys. No, these are... oh they oh the check they're not the transit cops no because there's there's cop cops that also do the spot checks but these are just the guys that come on and yeah they they have a phone maybe yeah good they got a radio to the other guy on the front of the bus uh somebody's using racial slurs back here yeah you deal with it with it then. I don't know. And so they come on and they check everyone's pass and it's like, let's dehumanize you all. Yeah, yeah. And also, let's watch a guy perform the full charade of pretending he has a pass for the entire next. Like, oh, it's in here somewhere.

And I, brother. entire next exactly like oh it's in here somewhere and i brother and i wonder what i would do in that situation of like oh i thought i could you know get away with it i'm going one stop right yeah i know i know exactly what i would do what would you say i would no i would be like i'd fumble around for it until the next stop where they say okay okay, you got to get off. And then I would run. Right. So they couldn't ticket you. Well, they don't have any jurisdiction. They're not going to give chase.

But like. Again, no guns. Yeah. If I don't give them my. Okay. Well, there were two things that happened. One was like a teenager had her bus pass, but it was a student bus pass and she needed to have her student ID at the same time.

Oh, come on. You got to show have her student ID at the same time. You got to show me your student ID. She's wearing her school uniform. Could be a knockoff. I don't know. Explain the crest. Well, that's a griffin, and that's a door. I belong to Gryffindor.

What about your friend? That's a awful puff. Honey, how was your day at work today? I busted some scum on the bus The other one was a woman About my age And she I guess didn't have a pass And she was sitting in a seat

I was standing And they were like we need your uh we need to see your um uh driver's license yeah which why would you necessarily have a driver's license if you're on the bus no that's step one to getting off the bus yeah that do get a car but that's like step one um but i would like, could you not give them your driver's license? Yeah, you could say, I just don't have it. Well, but also, couldn't you legally not? Yeah.

Is that what you're asking? Yeah. I'm not going to, because why? Because why, what, why do you? Oh, yeah, because what authority do you have? Yeah, what authority do you have? The bus has stopped. May I just get off and walk away?

Yeah, yeah. Well. The end. Well, you could, but we would look like assholes. Yeah, but. It would make us look like real idiots. We prefer you didn't. And so she gave them her license.

Or she was holding it, and the guy was like, you're going to actually have to give that to me. I don't want to. You have to. And so she gave it to him. And I'm going to take it. He broke it in half. And he walked off the bus. to me. I don't want to. You have to. And so she gave it to him and I'm going to take it. He broke it in half. And he walked off the bus.

Follow me. And so she's off the bus. Here's your brand new car. They should. They should occasionally. Once in a while. They're like, instead of having a lottery,

just like occasionally reward someone. Just give a Corolla away every now and then. Yeah. It's sensible yeah um and uh this uh uh her seat was empty and it was like super awkward on the bus and i i was like well i might as well i'm standing so yeah yeah so i uh i sat down just as someone else was gonna like get up out of their seat and move to a better seat or that seat and i was like no no sir no that is not how that transaction it went from like we all we're all in this together i feel sorry for you to like well it's a pretty good seat it's right by the exit yeah to the winner goes the spoiler the winner of you not having a bus yes it's a game of thrones on the bus. Yep. And there are only 40 of them.

Oh, man. I don't know if they're iron or aluminum or what. Here's the thing. Now, this is like to get your opinion. Now, you're not a regular bus rider. No, I'm a walker. You're a walker. I do have a car, but I do more walking than anything. Because here's my thinking, and I think this is logical,

but I don't think it would play well politeness-wise. Because the older folks, you always let them go first on the bus. That seems to be the thinking. But then they always want to sit near the front of the bus. Yeah.

So the people, then we all have to wait while they get situated. Why don't the younger people who all have to wait while they get situated why doesn't why don't the younger people who are gonna go all the way to the back of the bus go on first oh on second oh stay at the front of the bus oh I don't know if it's necessarily you let the older people on for that seems to be what people are doing I only get on the I only get on it a very specific stop. It's a young, hip kind of stop. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's outside of Relish. Did you end up going to Relish last week? No, we didn't go to Relish. We did go to the Winking Judge. Oh, okay. Yeah, no. Because I convinced him that after

a sports loss in the city, that it wasn't going to be the best place, place to go hang out and have drinks. Absolutely not. Um, now Ryan, you said you're a walker. Uh, tell me, tell me if you want me to stop, uh, uh, asking about this, I'll edit it out. Okay. Uh, you.

Yeah. Uh, once told me a story about where you were biking home from maybe an improv show. Yeah. And you were kicking over mailboxes. Yeah, this is a very famous story, actually. Oh, okay. It's a very famous story. I was drunk, and I was...

Did you not tell this on the podcast? I might have, but I'll do... I've told this story... I don't think you did, because I feel bad... Oh, no, I've seen you tell it on stage. Yeah, I tell it a lot. So, excuse me if you've heard this in my life but i'll give you the succinct version i was in a bad place uh and i was uh i was doing

i was doing the aw commercials uh so i was in the heyday i was like kind of like rich and in a bad place a little bit or like richer than Like a Don Draper. Yeah, exactly. Yes. Don Draper. And I was biking home and for whatever reason I got it in me that I wanted to push over every mailbox and

Mailbox or newspaper box? Mailboxes and newspaper box. Anything that was stationary that I came to on Broadway which is a very busy street Yeah. And I went

What time of day? It was about it was like midnight, 1am So not that busy. Not that busy at all. Pushing over mailboxes. Stopped in at a fast food place to get a hamburger mid-crime spree. Got back on my bike.

I can only assume an A&W. It was nuts. And I pushed over more mailboxes. Eventually the cops found me. Three or four, and this was, I got to Fur and Broadway, which is very west side Vancouver. I started at Main Street,

which is more east side. So I covered a lot of distance, pushed over a lot of mailboxes. Two, or one, whatever, a big man, because two cars pulled in very fast.

Yeah. Whoop, whoop. And then one of those guys said, get on the fucking ground. And then he tackled me and if you've never been like tackled by the cop like he like really he put me through the pavement yeah yeah handcuffed me to a fence i had a mustache at the time i had like a creepy mustache and so they didn't know who i was at first but eventually you're wanted on something they were kind of like we're gonna take

you to jail you idiot we're gonna take you to jail was the general sentiment. I was like, please don't take me to jail handcuffed to a fence. For sure, I thought, like, this is going to, like, if they find out who I am, like, this is going to, like, if I go to the drunk tank, I would be, like, a write-up in, like, 24 Magazine or, like, Metro or something like that. Local actor is an asshole. Yeah. You know?

But eventually one of them recognized who I was. He recognized me as the A&W guy. He said, hey, it's the A&W guy. It's the A&W guy. Hey, he called all the other cops.

There were like seven or eight cops hanging around. Like, you know, like a slow night, I guess. He said, hey, it's the A&W guy. He said, what would A&W say

if they knew you were out here, you know, pushing over mailboxes? And I said, I don't think they'd be very happy with me. Eventually, they decided that small town justice, they put my bike in the back of one of the cop cars

and made me walk all the way back up Broadway, riding every mailbox that I pushed over. That's poetic. Because they were like, you didn't break anything. If you broke anything, we absolutely would have had to take it. We would have killed you. We would have killed you. We would have taken Stanley Park and killed you.

Well, that's where we killed you. We would have killed you. We would have taken Stanley Park and killed you. Well, that's right. We killed people. But eventually we got to a point where there's a few mailboxes on the other side of the street. Just a second. Did you go appreciative? Is that what just happened? I was appreciative. They didn't take me to jail. And then eventually there's some on the other side of the street.

Primarily I was on one side of the street. and they're like, there's a few over there. And I tried to argue, like, no, no, no, no, no, no. I did this side of the street as if there was some copycat. Had you done both sides? Oh, come on. I must have. But did you remember? At the time, I don't think I did that side of the street.

I do think maybe someone took advantage of my spree. What if a newspaper just saw you writing them and then wrote an article about that? A&W mascot writes. Writes for all. I imagine. Because by the end of it, they're like, you really did something here tonight. And I was like, you're right. I'm a hero.

Yeah. like, you really did something here tonight. And I was like, you're right, I'm a hero. But, you know, and then I saw some of the same police officers months later, and they said, I didn't recognize them at first, they said, hey, you knocked over any mailboxes recently? They slowed down their car to kind of razz me, and I went, oh, not recently, no. One big night.

One crazy night. No, not terribly recently, no. What? One big night? One crazy night? No, no, not terribly recently, no. Thanks, officer. Oh, boy. Yeah, it's a great story. I don't think you told it on the show. It's a great story. It can go on forever.

I've told it lots of places, though. It's one of my better stories. Yeah, it's fantastic. It has a happy ending. Because I didn't know. I don't endorse mischief. Like, I was a real idiot. Like, I wanted to be punished. Like, I was in a happy ending. Because I didn't know. I don't endorse mischief. Like, I was a real idiot. Like, I wanted to be punished.

Like, I was in a bad place. Yeah. I was drunk as in all hell. I was on my bike. You know, I was a bad, bad dude. You were a bad dude. A renegade. Yeah.

A prisoner of war. A double dragon. A freak of nature. A grown man in his late 20s Pushing over mailboxes Yeah Living in his parents' basement An avante ribla

A divorcee Oh yeah That was a divorcee Yeah Yeah Oh but that's why Because eventually they're like Why are you pushing over these mailboxes

And I told them that I had just broken up Ah And they were like Okay Alright That's a Makes total sense Yeah Well We're gonna them that I had just broken up. And they were like, okay. That makes total sense to us. Well, we're going to

go by white privilege on this one. That's exactly what it was. But kudos to the officer that tackled me because he put me down. It's not easy to take me down. Anyone can take me down. No, it is easy to take you down. As my gym teacher in grade eight told me in rugby practice,

he said, Beale, you're a jam tart. You know why? Because you're fruity and you crumble easily. This was a teacher who said this to me in front of other kids. You went to high school in 1952, right? I had the last great Gym teacher Oh man

He was a son of a bitch With a limp Who like Would like look the other way When the bullies beat up No no no That wasn't the last one Was there more

There have been more Gym teachers Good good I think something like that Would be frowned upon These days He said other things Like where's your lipstick

Hit him with your purse Oh yeah I had a gym teacher Who was very big on where's your purse. Yeah, where's your purse? I feel like that must have, like, it can't still be going on. It can't anymore. But, like, that's a fast 20 years of, like, for gym teachers to get up to the. Why were gym teachers, like, the last gray area?

Why are they giving so much to you? They're giving so much to our community. Well, now they're terrorizing these young people. A lot of times they have to teach two subjects. And have you seen the square dance unit? It's all them. They have to do that. It's bullshit.

They all join hands and they circle the ring and then they stop where they are, give their honey a swing. Have I ever told you in my school there wasn't enough, the boys and girls ratio was off, so some boys had to be girls in the square dancing unit and it was often the nerds and we had to wear red jerseys. It wasn't enough that we learned the female part to indicate to the rest of the room that we were playing the part of girls. Yeah. Or women in this particular instance.

Wear these frilly jerseys. Take this scarlet jersey. It says jam tart on it. Kind of. It was fucking hell. But I was a hell of a straight answer. I didn't care whose hand I had to hold. I would do the promenade.

Yeah. Alamand the promenade. Yeah. What is it? Alamand. That's an ice cream. Best friend. Doing the boot scoot boogie. Look at the northern lights. Graham, what's going on with you? Oh man, nothing

that great. I, uh, oh, last night. I run a show every week. Yeah, every Monday night at the Havana Theater in Vancouver. Yeah. And during the weekend, there's an actor slash comedian

in town named Alan Havey. Oh yeah, he plays Lou on Mad Men. Yeah. He played the Sunday service this Sunday yeah very very funny we talked about him a bit last week

yeah and he he was in town shooting something and so he's doing sets around town and he came by the Laugh Gallery and it was one of these

shows where it was like everything that could go wrong just blah like it was there was too many people on the show and the the weird set they hadn't taken down the set that could go wrong. Just, like, there was too many people

on the show and the weird set, they hadn't taken down the set from a play from the week before. That's sometimes fun. Well,

yeah, it was fun when there was the full set. this year. What is the, what, do you have to perform on that?

The Canadian Comedy Awards was presented on the set of another play. And they didn't even draw a curtain, it was just like a full house set. Was the play also going on at the same no. And they didn't even draw a curtain. It was just like a full house set. Was the play also going on

at the same time? Yeah. And it's not a comedy? The play was very good. Yeah, Death of a Salesman. Yay! Willie Lohman. So anyways,

this is... Top two Lohman. The first guy on the show, I don't know if he... I don't know what happened. Sometimes people have a set where you're like, oh, that may be the last set of this person ever doing comedy.

Was it someone you knew? It was a newer guy. I know him. I put him on the show. But he had one of those sets that's like, oh, that could be the end of... You're like, what the hell happened there? Past guest Kevin Banner at one point just started clapping to indicate you're like, what the hell happened there? And past guest Kevin Banner at one point just started clapping

to indicate you're done. And then, and this is all while Alan Havey, who is a guy who like when I was younger, like I listened to his comedy bits and I love this guy. He's been in comedy for 50 years. Yeah, and then Kevin goes up up on stage he's in the middle of his act and there's some dude in the front row has taken off his shoes and socks and is sitting there like this is like we're doing comedy on the beach and so kevin's like a comedy

circle he's got a djembe in a case yeah and so kevin is when he got that case kevin's making fun of him and then and then yeah alan havey goes up and he's like i was just on uh mad men last night you know the most watch drama last night and here i am today this guy can't even keep his fucking shoes on no that was humiliating whatever you're not in charge of audience it's true but

and then and you shouldn't be it should be it should be it should be like unspoken like hey by the way we're

civilized yeah yeah yeah doesn't matter if your feet are hot you know it's April your feet aren't that hot and you're in

a structure like you're in a structure with other human beings there's april your feet aren't that hot and you're in a structure like a structure with other human beings there's some social yeah it wasn't a boat where there was a little water trickling in you're like yeah why not no it's not like a block party where all the kids are playing in the one backyard you know it's a little late maybe a kickoff yeah have another cup of sangria run down the beach like i don't want to get sand in my shoes. Yeah. And then adjacent to this kind of storyline was I was watching Mad Men last night. You watched it after?

Oh, no, the night before on Sunday night. And they always mention this chain, Burger Chef, which I thought they made up for the show. I didn't think that was a real chain, but it was. It was a real chain, and I Googled it, and the two first things that come up if you Google Burger Chef is Burger Chef USA, Burger Chef murders. Oh. Oh. So that's where Burger Chef kind of lost. They were really big.

They hit their maximum saturation in the 70s and then there was this crazy uh group of murders that are called the burger chef murders because everybody disappeared all worked or were at this burger chef on the night of these murders and they've never been solved oh my god it's so okay wait so everyone worked at a, or say that sentence again. Well, they, uh, all the people who died, like they thought that the, the managers thought. All from one location? All from one location. Yeah. But it was a chain.

Yes. Yeah. But this was all from one location and the manager thought, this is what I read that, uh, that a bunch of the employees had stolen like 500 bucks or something from the till and then vanished but uh or that there was like a an inside job kind of robbery or whatever but then all of the people who were suspected in it all showed up dead oh yeah so they don't know who did it that's, I feel like watching this as someone born in 1980. Yeah. Watching Mad Men, having no idea what Burger Chef is.

No, me neither. Yeah. I feel like it's a joke that the writers are like have running. Like we know, no one watching pretty much knows anything about Burger Chef. Yeah, yeah. This will just be our little thing. Yeah, this will be like a fun thing We keep bringing up Burger Chef But yeah, that's like the famous thing about Burger Chef

Fuck Where was this particular franchise? I don't remember I guessed California Yeah You said California, hey Yeah, yeah, yeah Well, I like to Beach Boys it up

Beach Boys Well, I guess because I like to Beach boys it up Beach boys Well I guess Because I need to Resolve it with The next rhyme Which by the way That's what we do In the USA

Yeah Sorry Hey they could have Just sang it like that Which by the way By the way We'll be serving you a say Burger Chef murders

That should be a Galdarn show In Speedway, Indiana Indiana It'd be a cool Spin-off of Mad Men If it was just about Burger Chef and the murders

Yeah Something they referenced Yeah it was really like I don't know It went from being a thing That I thought was fake To something I found It was real

And now I know why It's not a thing That I thought was fake To something I found That was real And that now I know Why it's not a thing anymore I kind of like When they're far enough Away Like in the past Mass murders are pretty cool There's your pull quote

Like I Like I know I'm not Going gonna get mass murdered by someone in a like bell bottoms no that's true oh yeah yeah like the the scariness factor of it yeah but it's more intriguing when it's like it was never saw of course yeah i don't know and also that it's like an extinct franchise like there's no thing like the dairy queen murders or whatever you know what i mean i mean there are but it's never classified yeah yeah yeah because it's not like a classy murder like a mysterious murder yeah they're just violent they're just violent they're just violent

I worked at a Dairy Queen there's a there's a blizzard machine involved yeah there was also a place there was a place in that same era

that was called Burger Queen and I wonder if that was I wonder if that was the like predecessor of Dairy Queen

like if they changed it from Burger because they didn't want to did all the burger chefs close or did they change their name? They were all bought by Hardee's, I think.

Ed Hardy. Yeah, and turned into shirt manufacturers where you could get a fast shirt. Why would they keep the same structure?

You go in and order a shirt? It's just what we're doing. What's on special on Tuesdays? Oh, yeah, yeah. The sparkly dragon. There's a what we're doing. What's on special on Tuesdays? Sparkly dragon. There's a sparkly dragon fighting an eagle. Remember we were making fun of Ed Hardy and then somebody wrote in a thing

defending Ed Hardy? No. Sincerely, Ed Hardy. Sincerely, Christiane Audigier. I don't know. I guess he was some guy, tattoo guy or something. Oh, maybe. Oh, yeah.

Sometimes we'll get like, because we do get people writing in to correct us. Sure. Some people will just tell us our opinions are wrong. Yeah. Even if they are like widespread opinions that everyone agrees on. Yeah, yeah. Like the Beastie Boys are dumb. I like the beast people.

Yeah, me too. Oh, yeah. Now that they're beastie men, all the better. Do you want to move on to overheards? Yeah. All right. After these messages. Hey, everybody.

It's Barbara from the Lady to Lady podcast. And Brandi, also from the Lady to Lady podcast. What? Ooh. We are going on a tour in the Pacific Northwest starting May 11th, and we're coming to a bunch of cities. Where are we going? We're going to Seattle, Washington, Portland, Oregon, Eugene, Oregon,

Salem, Oregon, Eureka, California, Oakland, California, Ventura, California, and stopping at the tour in Los Angeles at the UCB Sunset on May 23rd. Ooh, and I just think you can get your tickets and info at ladytoladycomedy.com. You are correct, Barb. Wow, let's go get our tickets now info at ladytoladycomedy.com. You are correct, Barb. Wow. Let's go get our tickets now, and we'll see you out there. Oh, hey there, everybody. I'm Guy Branum, and welcome to Pop Rocket,

a new weekly show picking over the pop culture we all love to love. With me to talk TV, film, music, and anything else entertaining are journalist Margaret Wappler, academic, writer, and DJ Oliver Wang, digital strategist Wyndham Mitchell, and comedian Santina Muha. It's an intellectual and incredibly snark-filled discussion about pop culture by five cranky Hollywood 30-somethings. No name-calling, no rudeness, just straight talk and a lot of role play. I'm only 30-something for another year. Me too. And I don't tell anybody I'm 30-something.

Pop Rocket comes out every week from MaximumFun.org. Overheard. Overheard's a segment in which we hear things, see things, and then we report them back here on the podcast. We always like to start with the guests. We love it. Can I go second? Is that okay? We always like to start with the guests We love it Can I go second? Is that okay? We always like to start with Dave

Alright you guys, hey guys Let's hear it for Dave Guys, my overheard this week A couple weeks ago I went to the What's the name of that casino? Oh, yeah, yeah The Edgewater Casino Big Rock

Nope, the one downtown edgewater casino here in vancouver went to see uh comedian kyle dunnigan very fun what fun but the uh overheard i have is um i i heard a woman saying something while leaving the casino. Well, you know what? I'll just say it. She sounded really surprised as she was leaving the casino, and she said, it was kind of sad in there. Yeah. Like someone who's never been to a casino before.

Well, if you've only ever seen the highlight reels they do on a full house or something like that. On a full house? You know, when the family goes to Vegas or the friends goes to Vegas, it looks like a ton of fun. Oh, yeah. Way more fun. They're all looking out windows and looking at clocks. And Vegas tried to make itself fun for like a brief period of time.

They tried to make it a family thing. It was like Disneyland for a while. Yeah. Everyone loves Vegas. That's the marine land yeah but the sentiment applies what did they do they made it all like they're like roller coasters yeah there's roller coasters i'm sure there's gambling that'll tear you apart but also there's these like other accoutrements look but they've gone back you're in paris you're in venice exactly you're in vegas

no they've gone just to Whatever The right amount of wrong Not to jump in on Vegas But I went to Vegas With my roommate When he turned 21 His dad sent us down there

Because he thought We should go Did I know this roommate? Chris Did you ever meet Chris? Yeah he's my roommate In university Sent us down

Quick story We were not the type of guys That should have been in Vegas Like went to bed early Didn't like gambling, saw a show. We weren't getting drunk or going to the nudie bar or anything like that. We wanted to find a bookstore at one point during our trip there. Walked around, walked around Vegas, eventually found a bookstore in New York.

New York, it was called Bookstore. Went inside, wasn't a bookstore. It was a pizza store called Bookstore. The bookstore-themed pizza store. Oh, yeah. You know New York and their books. Yeah, and then you go, you just go, they're all shelved vertically. Yeah, exactly.

All the pizzas, and then you pull one out. The pizzas were all separate in Dewey Dewey decimal system. Dewey Dewey? Dewey Dewey. I wonder if Vegas would be more fun if you just had money to waste. I think so. Our first 20 minutes were really fun because we gambled and then we lost a significant amount of money. And we were stewed and we're like, okay, well, I guess it's the room for us.

Yeah. Let's see what channels they have. I guess. What do you do if you go to Vegas, but you're not like, I don't really care about gambling. Like it doesn't, there's that excited by it. There's a few roller coasters. Yeah. And then what do you do if you go to Vegas, but you're not, like, I don't really care about gambling. Like, it doesn't, I don't, there's that excited by it. There's a few roller coasters. Yeah. And then what do I do?

Just get a prostitute? Well, there's magic. There's magic and fingers. Oh, I guess I could go see magic. There's big shows that cost you a lot of money. Yeah, there's a Circus of the Sun. Also, we went to a- There's the tallest building west of the Mississippi.

Oh, Jesus. We went to a buffet that was like mind-blowingly yeah you know like you have like if you can get over how awful it is it was actually a good experience

it was like a full room what was awful about it? well it was just that how top of the food chain bullshit much waste like being on a cruise ship type thing

but once you got over that you're kind of like okay well let's explore this this bunker of food have value value, let's explore this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This bunker of food. Have value, value ribs.

Yeah, let's starve ourselves all day and come back tomorrow. It's decadent. It's a decadent place. Yeah, I would go back to Vegas

if I had like unlimited vacation. But like, it would never be my, like, there's so many places I would go ahead. I think,

but to the average Joe, it's the cheap, it's so cheap. It's cheap to get there. And there's so many places I would go ahead. I think, but to, to the average Joe, it's the cheap. It's cheap to get there. And there's lots to do. And it's cheap to like, yeah. From this side of the country. Yes.

Yeah. Yeah. If you live out east, you would. No, you go to Atlantic City. Yeah. Or whatever.

Yeah. Go to Foxwood. So, I go, I thought Ryan said. I'll go next. I'll go next. And we'll let go.

Cause I, cause I'm going to go. I was scouring my brain trying to think of one. Yeah. But I, I thought Ryan said I'll go next I'll go next And we'll let go Because I'm going to go I was scouring my brain Trying to think of one Yeah But I thought of one And this took place While I was on stage Doing a play

Ah That's what I was going to say No I wish Oh god I wish It was one man two governors It's an English farce I did recently

When did you do that? At the Stanley Theater A few months back Here in Vancouver. One of Vancouver's finest. Play du jour. Who's the gentleman that took over from Craig Ferguson? James Corden.

This play made him famous. He toured it when it first came out. I know somebody who was in that play with him in the West End. West End? Yeah, yeah. I think he took it to New York and all over the world. But anyways. Eastern boys.

Eastern boys. What is that? Pet Shop Boys. And that's what I overheard. I was on stage. The whole play revolves around a woman pretending to be a man. So you have to suspend your disbelief. And this is British?

It's British. You guys suspend your disbelief for a second. So she's a woman pretending to be a man. The characters all buy it, but the audience gets to be in on the joke. But it was a lot of older people in this particular matinee, and the woman who's pretending to be a man makes her entrance, and everyone understands. Okay, this is a woman pretending to be a man makes her entrance, and everyone understands, okay, this is a woman pretending to be a man,

quite obviously. And then from the middle of the audience, in like a disdainful tone, at an audible level, like as we were talking and doing our play, an older woman just went, it's a girl. So loud, so like disappointed and mad

like that's somebody who would yell at the TV if Fraser and Niles had a crazy mix up

they absolutely would I knew it was killing Dave I'm not gonna let him get away with calling

Fraser Fraser he hates it maybe I hear the blues, I call him. Now, yeah. Sorry, this Frasier thing has derailed my brain. That's okay.

I'll talk Frasier. But I wanted to talk about this play. But I can't really remember why. One Man, Two Governors, English, Dressing Up as a Man. Farce. There was an old people watching. Live theater. One Man Two Governors English Dressing Up As A Man First On Stage There Wasn't Old People Watching Live Theater They Paid Lots Of Money To Watch It

Took A Long Time To Do Although It Was Very Funny Actually I Thought It Was Legitimately Some Funny Parts There Was Like Some Audience Plants In It Which Were Kind Of Fun Oh Cool Like So Like

It Did Like It Wasn't Like Just Your Cause I Do Think Sometimes Theater Is So Safe And So Scandal You Never Heard You Know Ah What A Weiner Oh, cool. Like, so, like, it wasn't like just your... Because I do think sometimes theater is so safe and so stable. Randy, you haven't overheard. You know? Ah, what a wiener. But if I could just expound about theater, please. Theater is dying.

Is it, though? A little bit. No, it keeps going. There's always theater. But, like, it's not doing itself any favors. Because, like, I just did this play, and it was legitimately funny, and I would like to invite my friends to it, but, like, tickets, by the end, were fucking

$99, you know? Like, there was no cheap, like, there's not, like, what do you do, like, and I understand you gotta make money, like, and I'm not a businessman, but, like, it seems to me that you'd want to invite people who aren't willing to spend $100 on a thing they don't know if they're going to like.

You know, give them the opportunity to like check it out. Like pay what you can night or like. But do they not do that? They do not. They do not. They do not do like a like or like rush seating after like, okay, it's over. Sure, sure, sure. Here's tickets for $20.

Come check it out. Isn't that what they do? They do that on Broadway. They do it on Broadway. I think they do it in the West End. I think they do it all over. I just. Get in it. Get on it, Broadway. I think they do it in the West End. I think they do it all over. I just. Get in it.

Get on it, Bacon. I forgot that's a trigger. It's a trigger for damn West End girls. It makes me want to sing Toto. It had rapping in it. I don't remember any of it. Do you have another? I do.

Thanks, Ryan. I don't know if you guys know. Theater is, it's visceral. It's visual. It's raw. guys know Theater Is It's visceral It's visual It's raw It's alive It's in your face It's sinewy

It's memorized It's sinister It takes place in a theater Yeah There's You can't say Macbeth No matter how Badly

Atlantis is going down on you Do you know what you do If you say that Where the Scottish flag You gotta Put salt over your dick You get kicked out of. You get kicked out of the theater.

Yeah. You have to turn around and you have to spit and swear and then you have to be invited back into the theater. Like a vampire.

Like a vampire. By the gentleman with the strongest muscles. Oh, so that becomes a competition inside. So there's a separate competition. They have to invite a bunch of MMA guys to live in the theater.

It's the muscle cam. It's the muscle cam. And whoever can do the biggest muscles. I think that was all fair. Oh, really? It's all right. My overheard. Oh, go ahead.

If you, I don't know if you guys know, the public library is a real, it's a real, before it opens, there's a lot of homeless guys hanging out, right? Yeah. Because that's where they're going to spend a chunk of their day. Absolutely. Or use the bathroom or whatever. And so whenever I go, like, have to work downtown, I walk through the atrium before it's open. And there's all guys, some guys having conversations, just the one guy. There's no other there's all guys some guys having conversations just just the one guy there's no other guy with him he's having a full conversation and then there were

two guys uh talking about the library uh-huh and uh the one guy but it was one guy was saying uh uh do you have a library card this is two guys guys that are quite, they're homeless guys. And the other guy says, no, it's too many cards. That was his thing, which I like. He's got too many cards. He was shuffling a deck of cards. Well, I don't own a wallet, so. Yeah, too many cards.

Too many cards falling out all over the place. I thought you were going to say it wasn't a real library. It was a pizza place called the library. Oh, the library. Speaking of people, like one person talking to themselves, I was driving my car today, and there was a car driving towards me, and it was a woman with one earbud in. I guess she was hands-free. Hands-free. Hands-free or listening. Some people do listen to music. guess she was, she had, hands free.

Hands free. Hands free, or listening. Some people do listen to music. But she was talking. Okay. And she was gesticulating. And I don't think it's hands free

if you're using your free hand to then like, have a super, if you're incorporating your hand into the, animated conversation. It's not hands free. It was dangerous.

That hand is jacked. She's mixing a martini with the one hand. Yeah. Then, then it's not, you know, dangerous That hand is jacked She's mixing a martini With the one hand And then it's not You know You're not supposed to Free up your hands To do other

Non-driving related Right guys? This is the best podcast Tell your friends Tell your friends Alright Now we also have Overhearts that have been

Sent in by people Around the world If you want to send one in to us It's SPY At MaximumFun.org This first one Comes From Christina here in Vancouver. Hey.

She found a bistro. This is like she sent a photo of it. So she's out running air and saw this bistro. It's a place called In Vitro is the name of the bistro. In Vitro Bistro? Yeah. And the logo is of a bubbling test tube and a syringe. No.

That's weird, right? I guess, unless it's like a molecular gastronomy. Oh, yeah. And they inject it into your genitals. It must be gastronomy. Yeah, it's like Wally Dufresne's sperm. But could In Vitro be defined, In Vitro is in the blood? What is it? In vitro could in vitro could in vitro be defined in vitro is

in the blood what is it in vitro is in the glass in vitro oh in the glass like isn't that the test tube

yeah the test tube okay but we all think of it it's all some kind of invasive thing yeah in the well in the nethers

usually exactly you know an invasive nethers thing to make in a baby but it's not in ut know. In the nether's thing. Right. To making a baby. But it's not in utero. Now that's true. That's a Nirvana album.

That's a Nirvana album, yeah. Which I love. Really? I do love that album. Would you go to a restaurant based on that album? Yeah. Sure. Sure.

Yeah. Heart check box. Point me, absolutely. Yeah. Death by chocolate. Well, you know what I'll have? I'll have the angel hair with baby's breath. Pretty good. Tell by chocolate. Well, you know what I'll have? I'll have the angel hair with baby's breath. Pretty good.

Tell the chef, I've got a new complaint. Yeah, if you've got a new complaint, tell us. If you've got a new compliment, tell your friends. Yeah. This next one comes from- That feels like once I swore while driving around, I swear by this. This is like some people who swear they see a UFO or they see Sasquatch driving around a few years ago. I swear I saw a cafe called finger bangers.

I swear it said, I swear I'm not lying. I saw the sign. It said finger bangers. And I, uh, Tassie Van Assel has been on the show. I texted him about it. And he made his friend, Sean Devlin, who may have been on the show before, drive him around because they worked for Zipcar at the time looking for Fingerbangers. And they never found it.

And so this is a big thing. They think I'm lying to them. But I swear to God. No, I think you think you saw a place called Fingerbangers. Or it was a joke. You know what I mean? It was a thing that was like, maybe like friends of the cafe, or some jokers of another cafe.

Oh, yeah. You know what I mean? And I saw the sign. Did it have that sort of like Fawlty Towers movable sign? Well, the music was... Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do. Oh, Weston Town and Bed and World. Easton Boys and Mashup World.

This next one comes from Will. There is a new hot dog restaurant in the city named after... Scott Ackerman's catchphrase? Yeah. Yeah. From two different podcasts. What's Up Hot Dog? Yeah.

And there is now a bong store called Big Bong Theory. Yeah. Someone posted it in our Facebook group. Yeah. Bazinga. I don't know. Somebody had a good, like, blazinga or something like that. Oh, I don't read that comment.

I do. That's all I do. This next one comes from Will in Maryland. Ooh. This is, he was in Japan, where English translation errors make a smorgasbord of overseens. This one in particular caught my eye. Japan really likes Halloween, apparently. And I saw this piece of decorative bunting, which captures both a problem with English grammar and a slight misunderstanding of Halloween.

And he sent a photo of it, and a slight misunderstanding of Halloween. And he sent a photo of it, and it's got a bunch of pumpkins on it, and it says, Now it is Halloween today. I will carry out appearance of a pumpkin and will surprise everybody. Close. That is close.

Yeah. The Great Pumpkin. It's based on the ancient poem by C. Clement Moore, A Visit from Great Pumpkins. Yeah. I will surprise everybody. So you're up to October in these overheards? No, this wasn't from Halloween. This was just a piece of bunting that somebody saw when they were in Japan.

But you are up to October or November? November. We get a lot of good overheards. Absolutely. Japan. But you are up to October or November? November. That's it. We get a lot of good overheard. So let's just plow through. I'm not the boss of either of them. I'd like to be. Do you think it's more likely that you will

catch up or that a year will lap you and then these will suddenly be in season? Ooh, I'd like that. I'd like to be lapped. I bet you would. Hello. Hello, ladies.

Run faster than me in a sprint race. That's what I like. I like to be lapped. This next one comes from Kelly A. in Missouri. This is the final one, if I'm not mistaken. Yeah, that's correct, in St. Louis,. in Missouri. This is the final one if I'm not mistaken. Yeah, that's correct. In St. Louis, Missouri. Missouri.

Here's a gem from one of my seventh graders who was reading an article about how teens use technology. Look at this quote. This girl says, I'd rather give up

a kidney than my cell phone. It's like, duh, you have two kidneys. You only have one cell phone. It's true. Kids get it. Basic math.

I got one cell phone, two kidneys. It's weird. You can give up a kidney, and it's very bad for you to lose a kidney. Like, it shortens your life significantly. But you can give up. You only have one liver, and you can apparently give up just a chunk of it. Yeah, and you're still fine, right? And also, if you gave up your cell phone, it would probably be better for you overall.

Oh, absolutely. It would probably be less. I recently cracked the screen in my cell phone, and I'm loving it because I'm sort of not using it as much. Yeah. Just because it's dangerous and hard to look at. And a little bit of liquid comes out. Yeah. And the chips are getting more pronounced.

It's off-gassing. And I've looked it up. I probably shouldn't ride it out as long as I have. You know what? Just put it in a bag with rice. Every night you put it in with rice. I shake it with rice every five minutes. Just carry it around in a Ziploc bag of rice.

I have a box of rice. I carry it around with me. I shake it around. Oh, man. iPhones have been very good for rice sales. Very, very good Actually some rice companies Should get on top of that

Like we're the rice to buy Yeah iPhone rice When you iPhone rice Like iRice Honestly I mean

iRice Honestly iRice That's a billion dollar idea I'm not fucking around Like Rice-a-roni Copyright Rice-a-roni Is the San Francisco treat

It's already in Silicon Valley Oh Rice-a-phony Rice-a-phony Oh Rice-a-phonyi is the San Francisco treat. It's already in Silicon Valley. Oh, rice-a-phony. Rice-a-phony. God damn it. Podcast over. We figured it out. But I'm not even, if you like, if you came out as like, we're the rice to go by. We're the special rice.

So your phone's in water? Quick, get down to the grocery store and get rice-a-phony. Go down to the Apple store. Anywhere. Oh, could you imagine if the Apple store and get rice and pony. Go down to the Apple store. Anywhere. Oh, could you imagine if the Apple store sold rice? Yes, I could. At the Genius Bar. They're selling you a thing of rice. Absolutely. There's just bowls of rice everywhere at the Genius Bar.

Put your phone in, take a walk around. Yeah. We'll sell you a new one. We'll sell you a new one. In addition to overheards that are written in, we also accept your phone calls. If you want to call us, our phone number is 206-339-8328 like these people have. Hey, Dave and Graham. This is Teresa in Los Angeles. I've been saving this one up for so long meaning to call to thank you guys.

I was on a walk at the Silver Lake Reservoir, and there were these two women crossing the street in front of me. And one of them was saying that she's been really getting into indie rock lately, and the other one said, so indie rock, that's like India Arie, right? That's an entire genre of rock. It's anyone who has indie in their name, the Indiana Jones theme.

it's anyone who has indy in their name the indiana jones theme yeah indian national anthem independent woman by destiny's child uh anything by uh alan sir jr or ari lyondyke I don't know what Your IndyCar racers Yeah Wow It's the thing Ari from Entourage Annie Ari Yeah

I believe that was Teresa Thorne Max Fun Royalty Yeah And host of One Bad Mother One Bad Mother Yeah

And on Mad Men No it's just not Not on Mad Men Here's your next phone call Good Indy songs everybody Hey boys And on Mad Men. Mm-hmm. No, it's just not. It's not on Mad Men. Here's your next phone call. Good indie songs, everybody. Hey, boys, it's Carl calling in from Michigan. I was just at the doctor,

and this old German lady was definitely talking about me and pointing near me to a nurse and said, He looks like that guy that wears the musisch hat and with the glasses, you know, the music hat. I think she meant Pharrell, maybe, but I am white. I love the show. Bye. Elton John wore a lot of music hats. Yeah. Well, so what was the exact, he looks like the music...

The guy who wears the music hat with the glasses. Okay. So who could, Ellis Costello? Oh, yeah. Hat, though? He didn't have a hat. Well, he wears a hat. Modern Ellis Costello Oh yeah Totally Hat though He didn't have a hat Well he wears a hat Modern Ellis Costello

Wears a hat and glasses Maybe one of the Gentlemen from Devo Was he wearing a Flower pot hat Was he whipping it well Yeah it's the combination Of hat and glasses

Yeah music hat And glasses But he is white Okay so he is white Even this German woman You know She knows races So who's a white

Oh Germans know races. Exactly. So who's a white guy with glasses and a music hat? I still think it's Elton John. That's my official pick. Elton John, Elvis Costello. Unless this guy is wearing, like, an aggressively Pharrell hat. Yeah, he didn't tell us that.

Oh, yeah. Is he a Mountie? Because then somebody could be. Yeah, yeah, yeah tell us that. Oh, yeah. Was he a Mountie? Because then somebody could be. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or is he Dudley Duret cosplaying? Is it Pharrell or Pharrell? Pharrell. It's not Pharrell.

Are you sure? It's certainly not Pharrell. He doesn't think that hat looks good on him, though, right? It does look good on him. Do you think it does? Of course it does. I think it looks very silly. Anything looks good on him. He's a handsome man. He on him. Do you think it does? Of course it does. I think it looks very silly. Anything looks good on him. He's a handsome man. He is a very

handsome man. He's got cat-like features. It's very man in a yellow hat, as I'm sure people have described. Oh, sure. I think it's more like the emperor's new hat. I think people are saying, yeah, that looks okay because it's him. Except for one boy who says he's naked.

Yeah, and that boy is Curious George. And that boy is Curious George. And he's instantly kidnapped by a man in a yellow hat. Taken to live with Babar. And he lives on a mattress, but he can still feel a pee underneath it. And Babar's like,

oh, you're anthropomorphized too, eh? Cool. Did Babar also have a, was there a rhino guy? Yeah, well, the rhinos were the evil dudes. Oh, I didn't know. I've never seen Babar. Babar was taken from the jungles to France, taught the ways. I believe he went to Paris.

Babar. He seems Belgian. Okay, sure. Okay. Somewhere with French speakers, he's taken back to the jungle where he colonizes his former elephants into sort of a more human society. Where they all wear suits. They finally wear clothes. They drive cars.

They fuck missionary. Oh, yeah. You know what I mean? Face to face. Trunk to trunk. Do you think there were missionaries that were like, yeah, this is the best style. Probably.

I mean, if they're going to name a style after us, this way. And so then they act more humans, but the rhinos learn, or he teaches the rhinos, and then they have war. Is that really the setup, or are you just making it up? No, but he does get taken from the, in the original Babar,

he does go from jungle to city back to jungle. And he comes back to jungle, I believe. So in that, so are you saying he went jungle to jungle? He went jungle city jungle. But he, because I just thought it was a world where elephants are people and people are out. No. Did he go jungle to jungle or was he just visiting? He was taking the city where he learned things like motor cars, elevators.

Really? And then he takes it back to the jungle and teaches everybody like this is the way? That's what we're led to believe. Really?

That's what Babar is about? Maybe we'll get letters about this, but I know... You won't. This is what I'll tell you. This is what I know about Babar.

I know that he was an elephant that was taken to the city and I know eventually he's back in the jungle as king of the elephant as a human. Wow. So as a historian, as an academic, I'm led to believe there's a period

of time between jungle... And as a pachydermic. When you say as a human, you just mean an elephant on two legs. Exactly. An elephant wearing a suit. An upright elephant. A smaller, suited elephant. Ryan, can you come back every week? Yeah, it's a we call you. A smaller suited elephant. Ryan, can you come back every week?

Yeah, absolutely. It's a lot of fun. Here is the final overheard of 2015. Hi, this is Ashley from Eastman, Pennsylvania, down in the States. And I'm calling you with an overheard. There's actually a friend of mine, and she's a teacher. And one of her students was talking with her friend and the students were talking about one night stands and uh the student she knew said oh one

night stands i have two night stands. That is like classic, like early talkies. Oh, that is some great dialogue. That is Avocadillo. One night stand. I got two night stands. Three night stands. Four night stands.

That's like Neil Simon. Oh, that is good. Neil Simon would have a hard-on for that joke, for sure. Is he still alive? Is he still with us? Really? I believe he's still alive. Still writing?

I don't. Would you? No. Let's write him and ask him if he'd have a hard-on. I think he should. Maybe I'm wrong. I think he's still with us. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He's still alive. Wasn't it like Sid Caesar's show of shows had Mel Brooks? He's one of those guys that in the 60s he looked like he wasn't young in the 60s. You know what I mean? Yeah. You look at footage of him, he was like, oh, he's already an adult well on his way to death. Also, I think of his plays as not from a hip era. No.

They just seem like, oh, he wrote those in the 20s and they've been around ever since. Neil Simon is alive and is 87 years old. Definitely 60. He didn't, apparently. Happy birthday, Neil Simon. He didn't make a fucking lick. He didn't make much money off of The Odd Couple, which is probably his biggest thing. Which is odd.

But he sold the rights to it, and then the TV show and the movies and stuff like that, he didn't make any money off of. That's the same with, what's his name, Mario Puzo and The Godfather. He sold it before he even finished writing the book. He sold the rights, and so he got paid, like, $100,000. And the same with Timothy Zahn in those Star Wars novels. I always forget that the novels came first. Yeah.

Let's see What else is an example Of someone who didn't Get paid money I don't know Um Well This is the show you guys

This is so much fun Well a lot of fun Thanks for having me Ryan what are you Well You and I Uh On May 13th

May 13th We're doing another Installment of Ring-a-ding-dong Dandy. That is this Wednesday? Yeah. And that is your monthly show.

Yes. Finish my sentence. Yes. In which Graham curates classic wrestling and also wrestling, professional wrestling. So not Greco-Roman, but professional. WWF, WWE, Backyard, but all over the map. FWWE, Backyard, but all over the map. And Graham finds beautiful, amazing clips from the history of wrestling,

sometimes contemporary wrestling as well. And we sort of mystery science theater. Mostly 80s and 90s. Although we showed a great clip with a guy putting his friend through a table off a trampoline. And he just re-edited it and then he added effects to it. Some of the backyard wrestling. And some of the independent leagues we find,

like, you know, the characters like Roadblock. Oh yeah, Roadblock. Or the British guy. Who's Roadblock?

Roadblock is the guy. He just kind of wears construction. What does he wear? Like, well, his, his.

And this is in a backyard? No, this is called Lehigh Valley Wrestling. And so, the video they play on the screen when he walks out is of a...

There's like a truck backing up. It goes... Oh, it's exciting. And then they're like... Like a literal roadblock. A roadblock pops up. Pops out of the scene. And then there's like...

And then he appears out of nowhere and flips. Oh, boy. To be a video editor in an independent wrestling federation but it's a hilarious show and Graham always finds amazing clips and I co-host it with them

and we do Little Mountain Gallery 195 East 26th Avenue this one is Wednesday May 13th at 8.30pm there's beer so much fun

there's amazing it's non-stop and Graham will rip his shirt like Hulk Hogan at the beginning of every show so it'll be there so if that floats your boat, come see that.

And what else? Every Sunday, the Sunday service at the Fox Theater. Every Sunday at 9, the Fox Cabaret in Vancouver. Most of the Little Mountain Gallery. We're trying to push Little Mountain Gallery. This little venue, we just got approved for a five-year permit. Normally, we have to reapply every year for one year.

Oh, wow. And so it's this little sort of independent venue that I've always pushed comedy into. That's what we do Ring-a-Ding-Dong. Yeah.

What other shows do you host there? We do the panel show of a thousand topics from time to time. A Weird Al Karaoke. Weird Al Karaoke, which we took from Toronto

from Comedy Bar. Glenn McCauley created that. Rap Battles West Coast, which also came from Toronto, started there. Now the Fox Cabaret. Every Thursday,

Jokes Please. Jokes Please, every Thursday at 9 p.m., which is a standard comedy show. If anyone is like me, I'm bored. I hear you. I hear you.

Me too, buddy. Thank you for being our guest. Hey, you. Sorry, grass pan. And if you like the show, check out the blog recap on

MaximumFun.org pictures and videos relating to this here podcast. Probably a picture of a burger chef.

Oh, yeah. For sure. I thought that was fake. Or Pet Shop Boys. Or it could be pet shop yeah pet shop boys oh yeah those uh east end boys and west end girls fighting for their lives um and uh yeah if you like the show we we say tell your friends but we mean it like yeah yeah

that's the only way the show will grow and people people are very... Share it and like it. You know what I mean? You've got to share and like. People are very good on Twitter. They sing the praises of the show, and we appreciate it. I've got to say, it's one of the best shows around. Ah, thanks. It's always a pleasure to get called in to do it. It's always nerve-wracking, because you guys, I think, may be the funniest guys around.

Ah, stop it. Thank you. You were the one. Thank you for having me. No, but it's for real. We're lucky. We're lucky it. Thank you. You were the one. Thank you for having me. No, but it's for real. We're lucky. Everyone's lucky. You fucking idiots.

You're an idiot, you son of a bitch. Shit. Ding dong, ding dong. Thank you so much for being our guest and thank you to listening. Thank you to the listeners

for listening. Oh, nuts. And come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself. Is this that fucking Pet Shop Boy song? Wait, you got someplace else to be? No, but I don't think I want to.

Here we go. You know this song? Kind of. It's no Go West. That's all I know is Go West. Really? Yeah. You It's no Go West. That's all I know. Really? You know more than Go West. Did you put on Go West after this? Yeah. Can you put on Go West right now? I love Go West.

You know this. The bass line sounds familiar, but the way you were singing it. West End Girls. They rap. The way you sang it sounded like a country western song. Kicking in chairs and knocking down tables in a restaurant. West End Town.

Call the police as a madman around. Down. Up around to a dive bar. West End Town. West End Town. This is what I was singing. East End Girls. West End Girls. This is what I was singing.

So overheard is just places you've overheard Pet Shop Boys songs now? Does this go west? Of course it is. Thank you. Yeah, this was the one that I knew. This is the one. Go west. Isn't it like a men's Russian choir? I think it might be the soviet choir that was so famous the red army choir or whatever you have

ah in the open air there are things to buy. The skies are blue. And the sunning eyes. Where we go for food. There are things to do. And there are things to see. I can poo and pee.

Freedom. You're a professional improviser. I'm doing my best.