Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 375 - Erica Sigurdson

Episode Date: May 25, 2015

Erica Sigurdson returns to talk matching outfits, placentas, and vermin.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 375 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name's Graham Clark and with me as always is the meanest man in the whole damn town, Mr. Dave Shumka. Is that who that is? Yeah, that's who that is.

I don't know that song. Ah, you do too. It was playing here a couple of weeks ago. No, that was Don't Mess mess with jim oh that's right isn't it the same outfit the croachy was it both croachy i feel like that's also a croachy i don't know i only knew really it was on this around with jim they were both about guys who are real tough yeah that's a uh a song trope that isn't around anymore singing about a guy who's tough yeah i think like well hip-hop guys they talk about how they they're yeah yeah no that's That's a song trope that isn't around anymore. Singing about a guy who's tough? Yeah.

I think like, well, hip hop guys, they talk about how they're so tough. Yeah, yeah, no, that's a thing. And singing about a guy that you've heard of that's really tough? It's either singer-songwriters talking about how there's a weak and insecure, or it's guys like heavy metal and rap guys talking about how they're made of iron. But it's no one like, hey, this guy's, you know, he eats really deep. He eats a big breakfast every day. He brushes his teeth with a porcupine.

No songs about Paul Bunyan. And our guest today, returning guest, one of our faves, hilarious comedian, Miss Erica Sigurdsson. Hello, gentlemen. Hello. Thank you for having me. Thank you for coming back. Wow.

I could not. I couldn't not. Should we get to know us? Yeah. Get to know us. Now, I'm trying to remember when last you were here. Probably like about a year ago. Yeah, I think it might have been a whole, a whole calendar year. A whole lunar cycle.

Oh, a month? Did you, I don't know how much, like, if you put that to me, what's a lunar cycle? I would have been like 10 years.

Every 10 years, the moon goes around. I don't know how it works. Yeah. But I know there's like a full moon once a month. Mm-hmm. I think I was here 12 periods ago. I don't know how it works, but I know there's like a full moon once a month. I think I was here 12 periods ago. And tell us about it. Oh, yeah, you're regular.

Too much information. You got like a Norplant? So a lot could happen in a year. Recently, you were out east. You were in Halifax. I was. And fun? Yeah. So much fun. Well, you were out east. You were in Halifax. I was. And fun? Yeah.

So much fun. Well, I was also in Winnipeg. So I started in Winnipeg, then went to Halifax. Did you go right from Winnipeg to Halifax? No, I came back for four days of laundry. And just laundry. I know, disappointing for Jay. Just laundry.

Popped in. Yeah. I really got some stuff to throw in the wash here. No time, Jay. Just launching. Popped in. Yeah. I really got some stuff to throw in the wash here. No time, Jay. And out the door I went. We're going to be together forever. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, that's a strength.

But you know what? We were at the comedy club together, I don't know, a couple weeks ago or whatever. And Jay showed up just out of the blue. For the listener, Jay is your other. He is your, yeah. Of some significance. Yes. And you, the way that you greeted him was, I was like, boy, oh boy, would that be nice?

Because you, it was so nice the way that you greeted him. You were genuinely surprised, happy to see him. And I was like, boy, boy, I don't get that a lot. I like it. I am one in a million, Greg. Yeah, yeah, boy, I don't get that a lot I like it I am one in a million, Greg Yeah, yeah, no, that's true Here's the shitty thing I did today

Oh, no, Dave Not even thinking Abby picked me up from work And got out of the car You threw a pie in her face? She got out of the car And she said, hey I really like my outfit today

And I said, I bet you do. Nice. Good work, Dave. What I meant was, nice outfit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well done. It's funny that she was wearing things that I would wear. It looked like just a girly version of something I would wear.

She was pointing that out. The Dave collection. I know, right? Finally. Something that the ladies have been requesting. All these, well, isn't that a thing? Now there's like boyfriend shirts and jeans. Shirts and sweaters.

Which I tried on the other day. And? They look terrible. Oh. Yeah. I don't, I'm like this, why am I wearing these? I don't know who they're for. Now here's a question. If I was like, say I had hips, why am I wearing these? I don't know who they're for. Now, here's a question.

If I, if I was like, if I say I had hips, you know what I mean? Could I go and buy some boyfriend? Cause I'm, I'm a boyfriend. Could I fit into a boyfriend outfit or are they custom designed for women? Yeah. I think they're maybe designed to like hide stuff. Yeah. No, but that's what I'm tired.

That's what I need. Can I get a boyfriend? Yeah, it was like a pair of jeans, but then just like underneath, just suspenders and then a mask. Oh, like a scary boyfriend. Yeah. Some of those tattoo sleeves as well.

Oh, cool. Like the stockings. Yeah, yeah. It was a one piece. I want to just create a patchwork jumpsuit of just my favorite outfit pieces. So, yeah, because you were not only in Winnipeg. Weren't you in Saskatchewan, then Winnipeg, then Halifax?

Yes, and then back to Saskatchewan. Wow. I just got back. A real tour of the greats. All the sights. I mean, I have to say, well, they're all wonderful. All the sites. I have to say, well, they're all wonderful.

Halifax was definitely, you know, it's a little bit more exciting maybe because they've got a real feel of, you know, the East Coast music and the food. They got that Donair corner or pizza corner. Yeah. I did not go there. Katie Ellen Humphries and myself and Michelle Shaughnessy hit the, we're all really into juicing now. Oh, that's steroids for the listener at home. Yes. When you want to blast your abs and such. And my neck.

I want my neck to be huge. Well, it's veiny. It's real veiny. I think you start with veins and then you build up. You grow into the veins. Now, is it the cold press juice? Yes, we found the cold press juice. What does that mean?

That just means they squish. They don't blow. Yeah. They squish the. They squish it. They squish it. I don't know why it's cold. Yeah, because in.

So that when you get it, it's cold? I know that's a big thing in like olive oil. Oh, yeah. Because if they use heat, then it loses some of it. Oh, yeah, because probably raw foodies. Yeah. You know. Like why would you use heat Then it Loses some of it Oh yeah Because probably raw foodies Yeah You know Like why would you use heat

To juice I don't know I'm drinking this stuff I don't want a hot orange That's basically soup Exactly But you're describing Yeah

A hot juice That's why it's cold breast There you go Because soup's already Got that locked in Hot juice was also The name of my boy band What was your hit single? Oh,

I Ruined My Pants. So, when you were in Halifax, that's a big drinking town. Yes. And did you live it up? I did. Whoop it up? I did. I started the... You go to the Foggy Goggle? I went to the Foggy Goggle. I went to the... Seahorse? The Turkey and Seahorse.

The Turkey and Seahorse turkey The seahorse is rebuilt Since we were there last Oh is that right? If you don't Do you recall the show We did at the seahorse? Yeah Where they did my

I made the mistake Of mentioning Amy Winehouse During Getting my hair done And my hair was so Big Like So big

And I was like Is this I asked Darcy Michael I was like Is this Does my hair Like is this This is big And I was like is this I asked Darcy Michael I was like is this does my hair like is this this is big

and he's like no no no it's fine and then I saw it on TV and it looks like I'm wearing like a traffic cone under my hair

like it's just straight back like I'm your hairstylist was like so who's your favorite Simpsons character I don't know

Marge I guess I guess. I guess. So when you hear a B-52 song, who do you relate to? The only thing I remember about the Seahorse was there was a group of guys that were there that had just gotten off of work and had no interest in paying attention to the tape. Oh, yeah. And they let them in.

It's TV taping, but for sure. Come on in. Yeah. They were a bunch of guys in. It's TV taping, but for sure, come on in. Yeah, they were a bunch of guys in suits. Have a cold one. Which, where was that one? Is that the, like, underground? Yeah, yeah. Right next to the hotel?

No, it's on the kind of the main drag where there's, like, one bar after another after another kind of thing. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, whatever that street's called. I want to call it Bar Street. Yeah, I want to call it Drunk Street. Stumble. Stumble Street. St, yeah. Yeah. Whatever that street's called. I want to call it Bar Street. Yeah.

I want to call it Drunk Street. Stumble. Stumble Street. Stumble Avenue. So, there was a picture of you on Instagram. You and Michelle Shaughnessy and Katie Ellen Humphries. Yes. And you were wearing matching dresses.

Yes. Like you were backup dancers. Yeah. Like exactly the same dress. Exactly the same dress. The theme of the comedy festival this year was 20 feet from Stark. Yes. We went to this store called Biscuit, which is very popular in Halifax.

Okay. And they had a buy one, get one half price. And then we went to the sale rack and they had these adorable sweaters with puppies on them. Yeah. And Michelle loves puppies, so I also like. these adorable sweaters with puppies on them. Yeah. And Michelle loves puppies. So I also like. You love sweaters. And I love sweaters.

What does Katie like? Juice, but we couldn't find one with juice on it. We found one with a cold press, but no. I don't care about the process. I just like the juice. And they were like 30 bucks and there was three of them. And I said, and I, one of us mentioned we should all buy them and wear them to the after party that night. Yeah.

Which we did. This is the greatest. And so. This is the type of thing Erica does. This is, this is, I'm in my, this is the best. This is my prom. Oh, go ahead. Go ahead.

So then we went downstairs to the bargain basement. Oh, biscuit. Everything is on sale. The biscuit bargain basement? The biscuit bargain basement. You go. Everything is marked suit. You just went there to warm up your vocal cords.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Biscuit, biscuit, biscuit. Bargain, bargain, bargain. So then I picked up this dress and I was like, am I crazy? Or we found the three dresses. Because then the dresses would be $15. So it was $45 for a great gag. Fantastic

gag. Fantastic gag. We got to keep the sweaters. And then did you just bring the dresses back? We got to keep everything. We did. We kept everything. But the dress I don't know that I will ever wear again. Because we're talking like a very silver like three gals from the future kind of. Yeah.

Yeah. And so. They're very shiny. Very shiny. Backup singers for like Zyblor. Yes. Yeah. Yeah.

Like the guy that we're backup singers for hasn't even been invented yet. Right. Yeah. So when we came down on the sweaters on the Friday night, uh, it blew up. Like Michelle was like, what if nobody notices? Wait, so you didn't buy them all at the same time? We did. Okay.

But you only, you, you, you saved it for. One outfit at a time. So Friday night was the sweaters. Oh, okay. And there was also an NHL old timers hockey tournament going. So there was like a bunch of ex NHL guys, like Paul Coffey and like all these guys that were. Oh wow just kind of hanging around? Yeah hanging around not impressed that we didn't care who they were and I got a little red wine feminist towards the end of the night.

Tell us about this. That sounds like it's a term that you didn't just make up. No it's many evenings after about the third glass, I will go off on some tangent. Do they start with, here's how it is? Or let me tell you something? What do they start with? Here's the truth.

I'm going to break you off a truth biscuit. Yeah, you're looking at the world through rosé colored glasses. Even though it's red wine. Listen, I have a merlot to tell you. Yeah. Pretty great. It's the term that Jay coined for me.

Red wine feminist. Red wine feminist. So, yeah, at the end of the night, this dude dude was like write down your email addresses because i want to send you some jokes and i was and that's when i had had enough and i don't remember exactly what i said and i've already signed up to a joke service i signed up in 1995 and i yeah yeah i'm good i'm happy with the service i get three a get three a week. Jokes.com. Yeah. So I told him off. And then the next day, the waitress, she was like, you were so funny last night.

And I thought she meant the sweaters. And I was like, oh, yeah, we loved them. And she was like, what? And then she said, no, I was telling my mom how you told that guy off. You were like, I don't need your fucking jokes. And then then i was like oh i i felt kind of bad this morning like i was a little harsh and then she's like oh no he was in here today and he's a total asshole and i was like okay was it paul coffee you can tell her no it wasn't that would we're not sure i know what would you have talked about the coffee about oh uh how his name is the same

as a beverage i would have talked to him about how he used to wear a size six skate, even though he was a size nine shoe. Wow. There you go. Oh, interesting. Just his weird feel. He liked having his toes crushed. Kind of a sex thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah,

later in the evening when he got drunk, he asked people to stomp on his toes. So that was night one and people went bananas for the sweater yes like everybody thought this is the funniest

the funniest thing we also all had pretty good push up bras on so it was a real theme going a good theme puppy sweaters

and boobs where were the puppies on them all over aren't they called sweater puppies aren't boobs called sweater puppies I guess they are are they yeah puppy sweaters and boobs where were the puppies on them all over but isn't aren't they called sweater puppies aren't boobs called sweater puppies I guess they are

are they yeah puppy sweaters and sweater puppies oh my gosh I feel like we've just been made a fool of don't worry

I'll email you some jokes you'll be fine what a weird thing to anyways I'll email you some jokes I know like what what was the guys what was the

outcome he was hoping for in that uh exchange oh yeah please do it might have been hey just write down your email addresses yeah but even that so maybe next year well he might want to come stay with you. True. You can't say no. I've emailed you all these jokes. Yeah. He just works at the biscuit.

He's just trying to send you like, but he's too nervous. He's like, I can tell you guys like our stuff. And then so the next night with the dresses. Yeah. So this was an after party as well? Yeah. You didn't wear these things to the show? No.

So then the next night was the final night of the festival and I had to headline the yucks show, which was terrible because the festival party is going on in the lobby of the hotel and I'm telling a bunch of drunk people, stupid, like literally as fast as I can. Like there's alcohol out there for free and I'm in here. You got 20 minutes into your set and you're like, you know what? Everyone just write down your email addresses. I'll send you the rest of my jokes.

Also, I don't think that's how it works at a comedy club. They don't say, well, it doesn't matter how much time you're on stage as long as you do your whole act. Oh, boy. There's like smoke coming out of the microphone. The micromachines guy is doing his solid 45 seconds yeah whoo out of there

in a record 17 minutes pretty great yeah so and then but people just like was it just

photo photos after photos after photos well here's what happened because they had rented so you had to go change. Yes. Oh, okay.

Right. Of course you're not doing the change. I gathered Michelle and Katie and we all went to change because people were like, what, you're not doing it tonight? And we're like, yeah, we do it two nights in a row. That's a little hack. And then we're like, let's go change. Because we're five. And so we got changed.

We came downstairs. Again, photos, blows up. There was one that somebody photoshopped Rob Pugh's head onto. Oh,

that wasn't Rob Pugh. In a matching dress with us? Oh, no. I saw a picture of Rob Pugh with you. Oh, yeah.

And he, and somebody said, oh, he looks so happy. Yeah. He wanted a dress. So they copied Katie's body and put his head on Katie's body.

That's pretty great. So it was pretty great. That's a lot of fun. But then as the night wore on, more and more people were coming into the bar that had nothing to do with the comedy festival. Right. And so they thought we were bridesmaids.

Right. Which then I was like, oh yeah, that does totally, like, and they're like, so we, I just. I guess that does make sense. But then we could just make up lies. And I told people that our Nana got married and she's 81.

Basically, it was the storyline to Last Tango in Halifax. But these were like cocktail dresses you were wearing, yeah? Yes. But so what kind of bride are we talking about here? Well, yeah. Well, Nana, right? A robot bride. You know how she gets.

Oh, yeah. Robot bride, of course. Yeah, from the future. Now, you said you, well, did you consider bringing them back the next day? No, no. Have you ever done that? Oh, yeah. Won something out into the world and then returned it?

Oh, 100%. Really? Yeah. I wouldn't have the... Yeah, me neither. Guys. I mostly buy stuff online and so it's like, this is going to cost me a lot of postage. I've got to drive all the way back to Point Roberts. I'm just not ready for the why are you returning it question. Because I feel like I don't know. i don't want to admit that i just don't like it anymore or right or you need a backstory like going in i have a whole i overthink it um you get somebody to play a witness sometimes it's because i just found out i was

pregnant oh wow and the wedding that i was going to wear this dress to is in four months and i don't think it's going to fit anymore. And then they just are like, please go away. Didn't ask for your life story. Wow. Wow. That is a good story. Yeah.

But if it's like a dress that I just had to wear on stage for five minutes, I'm a very non-sweaty person. Yeah. Till that dress is going back. Well, and that seems, because a dude could foreseeably wear the same suit on stage every TV appearance he ever does. And nobody is going to say nothing. Well, there was that Australian news anchor who wore the same suit for, or maybe it was like a weatherman. Oh, and he changed ties. Yeah, but he wore the same.

Maybe he changed ties. Maybe he didn't. But he wore the same thing for every day for one year. And it was like a weatherman. Oh, and he changed ties, right? Yeah, but he wore the same, maybe he changed ties, maybe he didn't, but he wore the same thing for every day for one year and was like, and then he had a big glass of red wine and he was like, yeah, the problem is

the women take a lot of shit for this. But I proved a point here in Australia. Yeah. So it doesn't seem fair if you were going TV, that you should get a stipend. I know, because you have to show up with three outfits for them to choose from. Jesus Christ. And for the three of you, that would be nine outfits. Nine outfits.

Yeah. Oh, man. On a backup singer's budget? No, thank you. No. But they also, like, when you put on the outfit as a woman, they'll, like, stand behind the monitor and be like, oh, well, you've got, like, a muffin top or you've got, like, you could see. And it's like, well, yeah, that's how my body looks. Like, I don't know what I'm supposed to do this in six hours.

This is sound check, right? How much cold press juice could I drink and possibly get rid of this but like then dudes will just show up in like a t-shirt oh if you're lucky

and they're like that's your outfit they'll show up in a garbage bag I mean you've seen the sorry state that some of these comics roll into a taping

yes twigs in their hair who was it that fan the original last comic standing last comic standing of these comics roll into a taping. Yes. Twigs in their hair. Who was it? Dat Fan? The original Last Comic Standing? I was at one of those where they block it out and

sound check and stuff for TV. He was like, just so you know, my hair will be six inches higher once I... So once I put the gel in it so just the lighting gonna be a problem yeah there's gotta be other guys like that that uh music maybe that have really big hair that they don't wear it like that to sound check but oh sure you know they're on their snl appearance so yeah you're gonna have want to get your cameras adjusted. I can't think of a damn one.

Back in the day, your Jon Bon Jovi's. Oh, yeah, sure. Whitney Houston. She used to have like piles and piles of hair. Oh, yeah, that's right. She died. Oh, yeah, she died. Weird.

Oh, man. Gnarly. We missed you, Whit. That's so great that you guys put that much uh forethought and effort into like that's the kind of thing you could show up to a place and just get free drinks even if they weren't already free you kind of wasted it we did um i wore my dress to the airport in the morning though ah that's fun walk of shame flight of shame flight of shame well i i always fly out at like five so i got picked up at three 30 in the morning.

So I just stayed up all night. Yeah. Classic. Classic Sigurdsson. Well, classic. At five in the morning. Five in the morning. So I got picked up at three 30 and I didn't actually wear the dress because it, I was like, I'm going to wear it on the plane.

And Katie's like, no, you're not. That's going to be really uncomfortable. It's a longer flight than you remember. Yeah. Oh, it was so painful though, because like you get to Toronto and you have to sit in that airport waiting, like you just want to sleep. Yeah. Oh yeah. You're kind of like, you're coming out of drunk and into hungover.

Somebody get me a martini so I don't look ridiculous. Yeah. That's six in the morning. Yeah. My makeup is just slowly melting down my face. A lot of people would take it off.

Not me. No. I like it because there's going to be somebody who's greeting their grandchild or something when you land in Vancouver. Yeah.

You're going to come off the wedding's off. I've been dying for a smokes as hell. Oh, man. But yeah, that is something because we used to anytime we would go

on the road together, we'd hit the thrift stores. Yes. And we would buy something and then like try and make the other one wear it on stage. Yeah. Which I don't know

if that was ever a successful gambit. No, but I think that when we go to, we've got a whole day off in Saskatoon. Mm-hmm. And I believe that we should find. When's this? What month is it? May. May.

Yeah. May 27th. We have the whole day off. Yeah. And I think we should go. It's this week, you guys. We will. Yeah.

Yeah. It's already May. Is Saskatoon the one with the great arcade or is that Regina? Regina. That's Regina. Yeah. Wonderland. We will also be there.

Yeah. We're going, we're on a three, three dates now. Yeah. In May, at the last week of May. Oh, cool. We're in Saskatchewan. I got to go back to that arcade, man. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Make the pilgrimage. Oh, you can play. Three bucks. Three bucks? Five bucks. I can't go back to that arcade, man. Make the pilgrimage. All you can play. Three bucks. Three bucks? Five bucks. I can't remember. I'll talk about that.

Five bucks for an hour? Yeah. Yeah. For an hour. Three, four, five bucks. But whatever. At any rate. At double the price, it's a steal.

What should we do when we're in Saskatoon? What's the plan? We'll go to the thrift store. We will pick out outfits for each other. Yeah. Why is the thrift store in Saskatoon the one to go to? Oh, we just, out outfits for each other. Yeah. Why is the thrift store in Saskatoon the one to go to?

Oh, we just, we got the whole day. Yeah. Although Regina did have that really great one that I think I want to go back to. Is that,

you found a fur coat? I got my fur coat there. Found a fur coat, a cool Air Canada, like, Vintage bag. Vintage bag. From 1974.

And a fur, like, matching fur hat, right? Yeah. There was a mink hat, the coat. Yeah, I guess it's, I've never gone to a thrift shop in, well, I went one time with Macklemore. But nothing ever came of that.

Well, he, I think he's hiding something from me, but he just told me don't listen to the radio in 2013. And you complied. Yeah was like fine uh and uh yeah so me mclemore what are we talking about no i've never been to a thrift shop in another town because i bet there's like different climate different oh yeah different sort of um history yeah there's like uh i felt like this one that we went to, was that Regina? It was like, it never ended. Yeah, and it was like generational. Like you would, you'd find stuff that you're like, oh, this is, somebody wore this in 1950.

Yeah. And it was like, a lot of stuff was in perfect condition. Yeah. I got a great pink, like very house, fifties housewife dress. Yeah. No idea where it is right now. But when you go, do you bring room in your luggage for a fur coat? No, it was June and I carried that fur coat through the airport.

Jesus. And we walked home, or home, we walked back to our hotel from that thrift store. And remember that truck drove by us and yelled fags out the window? Yeah. To you? To me. I'm a lady with a fur. Yeah. I came here to pop tags.

Have you worn it? Oh, yes. Okay. It's very vintage. It's lambswool. Persian lambswool. Yeah. That's not fur. Well, it's lined with mink. It's like mink cuffs and mink collar and a mink hat. But the hat, I have a big head, so the hat just kind of looked like those French fry hats from McDonald's in the 70s. So I got rid of it.

Yep. Abby has a fur coat that's also vintage. And so it's like, I'm not contributing to the killing of animals. Sure, this thing would have been dead. You still look like you do, though. Yeah, yeah. It's hard. That's true.

But with lambswool, it's less so, because I'm like, you don't know that these lambs died. Right, yeah. They were silent. They were silent, yeah. Yeah, they had a chance to speak up. They remained silent. Yeah.

But my, yeah, Jay's cousin's wife uh wore it at her wet like for she had like a very vintage style wedding and she was like i need a coat and i said i have one ta-da ta-da 80 from regina the uh coat i bought was i guarantee you it would be sold in a consignment store here for like 75 bucks and i asked lady, how much for the coat? She's like, I don't know, a dollar? And she wasn't even firm on the dollar. I could have cut it. I could have,

I'll give you 50 cents. Why would I describe it? It's like a brown, like a hunting coat. Like it's a brown check button up. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, the hipsters love it. Yeah, see,

because Vancouver thrift stores are super expensive. Like you go into a thrift stores are super expensive like you go into a thrift store and I'm like come on the rumor is people like

they have professionals working at thrift stores who go down like they know the days that the Salvation Army and Value Village put out their new stuff

and they just go hunting and bring the best stuff back to thrift stores yeah because it's man oh man it's like yeah we gotta go back to that place.

It was crazy. Yeah. You know. Yeah. Yeah. You know. We're going to go. I'm just going to bring an empty thing of luggage.

I'm not even going to bring anything to, I'm going to buy everything there. Yeah, buy as you go. Yeah. Because that's one thing I like to do when I go to a thrift store is wear it immediately without washing it. You know what? I think they wash it, don't they? That's why everything smells the same. Because that's one thing I like to do when I go to a thrift store is wear it immediately without washing it. You know what? I think they wash it, don't they? That's why everything smells the same.

Yeah. I don't know. I'll just pick up shirts and underwear from the sand. There's always a sand in a small town. Or fields. Fields. Yeah, sand, fields. What does sand stand for? Something Army Navy?

Oh, I don't know. South Asian Army Navy? Yeah, I don't know. South Asian Army Navy? Yeah, it's all the Bangladesh and Indian Army. Yeah, or you go farther east, there's a giant tiger. Yeah. Those will do. Why bring, because, you know, lug around. It's not like I have any affection for the underwear clothes I have.

They just happen to be the ones I have. New town, new me. But then do you bring it back with you? No, no. I just throw it all in the garbage can. So you buy brand new underwear and throw it away? Well, no. I leave it in the hotel room with a note.

Oh, that's sad. This is your tip. You should go to that. This is your tip. Yeah. Go to that. This is your tip. Go to that. What's that store? Daiso? That has everything's like a dollar or two dollars and it's all from Asia.

And all the men, well not all of it, but they have men's underwear that's like mesh. But like not in a sexy way. It's like football jersey material. But it's like tighty whitey cut. Oh, that's, and then you just throw them out? No.

You're supposed, but they're $2. Oh, okay. They have packs of five, and I'm not going to lie to you because I bought these to just see what they were. So it's five pairs

of women's underwear. Okay. And I'm using the term underwear very loosely. But, like, when you open the package, you know when movers bring mattresses in and they put those booties on? It's like made of that material. It's like the booties material. Where's that from?

Yokoyama, which is like Daiso. Is it the one in? Tinseltown. Tinseltown? Yeah. Oh, wow. But that's just disposable underwear, isn't it? Yeah.

And by the way... But any underwear is disposable underwear. Yeah, no kidding. To the listener, if you're bothered by all these local references, like I don't know how many podcasts I've listened to where they talk about going to the Grove or what movies are playing at... What's that movie theater in la oh yeah the arc light yeah you're just being transported to a different town with the same things um yeah the uh

i'm just really i'm really uh tickled with this idea of just showing up just showing up the airport with no bag yeah well, with a bag so I can bring stuff back But just empty Toothbrush, you know Why can't you buy a toothbrush in every town? You're right, I'm thinking too Most hotels give you a free toothbrush Or go to the dentist Yeah, that's true

Make an appointment Say, oh, at the end of the appointment I don't have time for you to give me the toothbrush at the end So give it up front And then I just beat it uh, uh, at the end of the appointment, I don't have time for you to give me the toothbrush at the end. So give it up front. And then I just beat it. I gotta get out of here right away. Um,

yeah, maybe I should, I remember it was a, uh, comedian that we both know. I won't, I won't say his name, but he tried, uh,

he went on a three day road trip where he was like, I'm only going to, I'm going to wear the same suit the whole time. And he said about like five hours into it that he was like god this is a mistake this is so horrible like he wasn't gonna bring any luggage with just a suit hmm that goes against the code of the road never wear your show pants in the car whoa wow it's like bro code yeah what are there any other coat like road i was gonna I was gonna try to guess A comedian

But I can't imagine Any of the comedians I was gonna guess Would own a suit Oh yeah Yeah no It was It might not be

Who you think But I'll tell you The break But I wanna know more Of these road Are there more road codes Cause I don't know

That I know Any of the road codes I mean Don't dip your pen in the company ink. Don't get high on your own supply. Leave rows before hoes.

What is that? Ask, ask grass. No one rides for free. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which is not true because a lot of comedians ride for free. Yeah.

And also, Almost exclusively. Yeah. People say that like, is that a bumper sticker? Yeah. I've never seen it, but I know the expression.

I think it was popular in the 60s when people still hitchhiked before Charles Manson and company. Is the one of these three comedians? The top comedian. Could I see that list, please? Yes, you could. Oh. Anyways, fun. Are there any of those?

Here's the thing. I'm not going to ask about codes of the road. You're somebody, you have a fascinating kind of road habits that I'm always jealous of. Like you have, you put like a remote control in a Ziploc bag and stuff like that. Oh, yeah. You've got tips. You're theploc bag and stuff like that. Oh, yeah. You've got tips. You're the person that always has tips. Yeah.

Todd Glass could probably use some help with those. He's got a thing about duvets. Yeah. He was very upset about the hotel. Oh, he didn't seem that upset. Are there any, because you go on the road, you would have a bunch of different tips? Yes. Well, my latest, which I'm semi-obsessed to almost to a car to go level is. You're obsessed with car to go.

I'm obsessed with car to go. And the D-Link 505 travel router, which is very small and you plug it into the wall and then you can basically make your own wifi network from the hotel's network. Um, so you have your own private network and it's a stronger signal. And if you have a Google Chrome, then you can plug your Google Chrome into the back of the TV. Sometimes you have to dismantle the hotel's system that they plugged in. But I do that. And then you can watch your own, your, your Netflix. I have pictures scrolling across my screen of like Joji and my friends and Mala.

And so it's like being at home. That's, see, this is what I'm talking about. You always have things. I wouldn't think of that in a million years. I'm, yeah. The travel router is a good idea. Yeah. It's a brilliant idea.

Well, give us another one. Give us another one of your time. Ten more tips. Yeah. Ten more tips. Okay. Well, give us another one. Give us another one of your time. Ten more tips. Yeah, ten more tips. Okay. Well, I do the, when I go into a hotel room, well, the remote control used to go into a plastic bag, but now I don't use the remote because I use my Google Chrome. Right. Okay.

Yeah, sure. Use your phone or iPad or whatever. Yeah. To control. Which is pretty smart. I always phone ahead and get a fridge. Sometimes I play the diabetic card, but I don't feel bad about that because I am, in fact, a diabetic. Now, say the diabetic card doesn't work.

What other cards do you have in your deck? Don't most rooms already have a fridge? Not all of them. Yeah, I've been in lots of motels that don't have fridges. Yeah. I've been in one hotel that didn't have a TV. Katie got a room without a bed. What? Well, it's not a room. Katie got a room without a bed. What?

Well, it's not a room. Technically. We checked into the hotel. She texted me and she was like, can you come to my room? I think I'm going crazy. And so I was like, well, and I was like, what is this about? So first of all, she opens the door to like a huge suite. And there's like a round like table with like chairs around it.

There's a kitchen. With a slide hanging off it that says bed. Yeah. There was a pillow on it. And so we looked all around and there was like a couch and a TV. And then we opened all these doors and there was no bed. And so she went down to the front desk and they were like, no, there's a bed. And then we were like, is's a bed and then we're

like is this like the shining yeah he hasn't worked here yeah there hasn't been a bed in there for 50 years let me assure you there's a bed but there is no room 512 there's not even a fifth floor in this hotel like is it possible that the last guest snuck out with a bed? Yeah. Just like under a giant fur coat. Me and my very fat wife will be checking out. She's a square. She ate a giant Pop-Tart and that's why she's that way. Anyways, I'll thank you not to stare.

And also the box spring. We brought this bed with us. This is our travel bed. My name is Mr. Simmons. You'll see it's written on the bed. My name is

Mr. Memory Foam. My sleep number is zero. Remember this! And he gives them the thing on the way out. So you would recommend calling ahead asking for a bed. These are really good

road dog tips. Always phone ahead. So what ended up happening? She got a cot for the first night. Oh, she got a refund. Then they moved her to a stand. I mean, she got a cot for the first night and then they got a refund. Then they moved her to a stand. I mean, she was being a bit of a diva, like, Oh, I want a bed.

Yeah. Yeah. That's true. I mean, it was their one job as a hotel. They failed. And then unless the sign just said HBO on that side and then yeah. Color TV. Yeah.

There's color TV is Yeah. Colored TV. Yeah. Colored TV is my favorite. Colored TV. The TV is the colored part. It's still black and white. Yeah. But it's a wood panel for colored TV. Do you remember that gig

we did, though, where I had a TV with pliers on the handle? And then we went to a thrift store in that town as well. Yeah. And bought a TV yeah bought a tv

yeah you had to change the channel with the uh pliers my uh television wasn't plugged into anything yeah like it was plugged into the wall but that was it you just turned it on it was just static what do you like you like a white noise machine and then my door didn't lock did your i had to like mine lock i had to pull the dresser across the door so that nobody would. But what about when you're not in the room? Well, you know, I was just wearing one suit the whole time. The comedian was me. And nobody had laptops or anything?

No, no. Yeah, yeah. We were very dependent. Were we rich? Yeah, or if you had a laptop, you could just check your email and that was it. Yeah. There was no Netflix. There was no, it's dark times.

Oh, yeah. I remember going to hotels and like, can I check my email on the hotel computer? Oh, man. I will. How many quarters do you have? It starts vibrating. Why is it doing that? Have you ever been in a motel with a vibrating bed?

No. I did. Yeah? Yeah. I don't get it. I don't understand why it was a thing. Oh, it's for fucking. Oh, yeah.

It seems like that would distract. Yeah, I know. Instead of thinking about baseball, you think about, oh, what's wrong with this bed? But maybe if you're both really tired, you could just lie there and the bed does all the work. Is that how it works? You also bring in two cans of paint. I got those shaking up while we're in here. My cold-pressed juice is separating.

Put it on the bed. Yeah, I like that you've got money for cold-pressed but you just stay in a hotel that's got the vibrating bit. Why does juice separate? Like, it doesn't separate in the apple. Oh, when I make juice every morning with my new Breville juicer. Go on. Is it a travel juicer? It's not.

Is it a D-Link? It's not a D-Link. Do you bring a hotel juicer? Do you have a special? No, but I actually, when I did the math on how much me and Katie and Michelle spent on juice, I was like, it would have been cheaper for us to buy a juicer

at the bay and just leave it here. And then you could have returned it. Yeah. Yeah, and you would have been like, juice is gross. Yeah.

I'm pregnant and baby hate juice. Excuse me. Yeah. I've just found out I'm pregnant. I'm pregnant. And I was going to drink this at a wedding.

Anyways, take this back, please. Please ignore the juice seeping through the box. I threw in some grapefruits for you. Oh, man. Yeah. No, that's, yeah, like, if you're on the road all the time, though, right? Like, if that's your whole life, then, yeah, you would want to carry around. Because what are you going to do?

You're going to have to go to, like like Subway three times a day to eat. Like you'd have to bring stuff with you to like make meals and stuff, right? Well, some people do that, but. Can you juice a sub? You can juice a sub. It's horrifying. Yeah. It's the worst thing you'll ever do.

Some people do bring like all their stuff to make their food in their hotel room. Some people do bring like all their stuff to make their food in their hotel room. But what I have just learned after just filing my taxes is stop trying to save money because I need write-offs. So now I'll just go and spend $12 on an eight ounce thing of juice because I don't want the government to get that money. Yeah, yeah. Your juice money. My juice money. Yeah. Is it, but a lot of towns you go to, they don't have any kind of good enough juice.

No. I found a. Yeah, you're lucky to find a Julius somewhere. Well, you know, Jugo juice is an okay substitute. Is that everywhere though? No. Yeah. There's a booster juice, but no.

Come on, get out of here. What do I look like? Trash? I own a fur coat. Good night, sir. A woman died in that coat. Yeah, well, a woman died in this booster chest. You'll hear me brag about it.

Oh, man. Yeah, well, the D the dealing router thing is brilliant. Yeah. And it's only $29.99. And then you never have to leave the hotel room and enjoy the city you're in. No. Well, I took it to Halifax and I never even really used my laptop because mostly I was buying juice, buying matching outfits, or drinking alcohol. You were having fun.

I was having fun. You were living your life. Yeah. Uh, do you ever do this? You bring a book with you and then you're just like, why the fuck did I do that having fun. I was having fun. You were living your life. Yeah. Do you ever do this? You bring a book with you and then you're just like, why the fuck did I do that? Yeah. Who was I? I took my workout clothes to Winnipeg.

Yeah. Never took them out of the suitcase. I was there for a week. They just sat there looking at me and then did it. So you put them away. Stop looking at me. You mean you formed them into a face? Your shoes will be the eyes. I called them away. Stop looking at me. You mean you formed them into a face. Your shoes will be the eyes.

I called them Wilson. And then I also did it in Halifax as well. I was like, why am I fooling myself? But Katie and I went down to the hot tub one rainy day and we're like, we're going to just heat up. And we got into the hot tub and the people were like, it's really cold. And we're like, yeah, right. And we get in. We're trying to make juice in. And we got into the hot tub and the people were like, it's really cold. And we're like, yeah, right. And we get in. We're trying to make juice in there.

Yeah. It was freezing. And we sat there for a good 15 minutes. That's good. In cold water. Like a polar bear swim. You know when you try to maintain your dignity in a situation, you're like, we knew what we were doing. And we're just sitting there freezing. And then finally we got out and we're both like, I'm what we were doing. And we're like, just sitting there like freezing.

And then finally we got out and we're both like, I'm going to go to my room and have a bath. Yeah. And then that lady pops her head back in. Told you. I would have done the same thing. Yeah. So I get into the hot tub and there's a couple already there

that told us it was freezing. And I get in and there's. What are you doing in there, you creep couple? I know. And then I go, I'm using the emergency phone because there's an emergency phone on the wall. Yeah. And it says, in case of emergency. Bright glass useful.

So I get out of the hot tub and I hear the guy said, we didn't have the guts. And so I pick up the phone. You're the Rosa Parks of this hot tub. So I pick up the phone. And then on the other end, this panicked voice says, what's your emergency? Hot tub's not hot enough. And then I went, yeah. Your hot tub is a lie.

It was like when I checked into the hotel and I was like, I am an artist. I need a hot hot tub. And did they deliver or were they like, they sent a artist. I need a hot, hot tub. And did they deliver or were they like, they sent a guy to pee in it? Yeah. Yeah. They sent down the junior hockey team that was there to watch the hockey heroes. They all peed in it. Done and done.

Super warm. Oh, wow. The only time that I was at a festival, and it was at the time I was exercising. It was a crazy time in my life. And I went down to the exercise room, and it was just filled with all the other comics. That's the worst. Yeah. I don't want to work out. Cracking jokes about an elliptical.

Yeah, I'm like like what kind of material are they going to get from how bad I'm using this machine oh yeah some guy's closer that night there was this guy in the gym today he fucking didn't know how to use anything yeah you're not going to like him he's your next act

but yeah man those are some good tips. Don't hang out in a cold hot tub. Just to, just to snub your nose at somebody who warned you. Yeah. Uh, Dave, what's going on with you? Oh, not much.

All right. Uh, one thing, uh, real quick, you know, that song that's like hands up, baby hands up. Give me your heart. Give me, give me your heart give me give me your heart that one yeah is that like he's robbing her or of her heart or she's robbing him i forget who sings it it's a woman singing okay she's but she's is it a stick up yeah yeah she's robbing him i thought it was like a celebration but the more I thought about it Yeah That's a violent crime Yeah yeah Hands up Put your hands up

Gimme your heart Gimme gimme your heart Gimme gimme all your love All your love All your love That's all I know of that song though Yeah I don't know

I think it was in a Travel commercial Okay Is that helpful? Yeah yeah yeah Was it for Avis? No For like Contiki Travels or something. Anyway, so glad that's off the table.

Okay, good. Strike that from the list. Yep. The other thing is a friend of the show. No, yeah, he's a friend of mine, a friend of yours. Chris Kelly, who He produces This is that On CBC Yeah

He Just had a baby Yeah But before he had a baby My friend Grant Lawrence Organized this night Of like Dad's

A dad's Brunch At night Yeah dad's night brunch Under the cloak of night Bacon at night Yeah And I've never done Something like that before But it was like At night. Yeah, dad's night brunch under the cloak of night. Bacon at night. Yeah.

And I've never done something like that before, but it was like, let's all get all the dads together. Who know this guy? We'll all tell all our dad stories before he has a baby. Oh, yeah. And it was a lot of like, this does not leave this table. Yeah, it sounds like a sisterhood of the traveling pants kind of like we we all sit around and then the movie is just our stories yeah these are and there was but it was the prerequisite was you had to be a dad to be in this uh uh and there was like did you learn anything because you're a new dad yeah i guess i did and there were varying but it was also it

would also it was also like i didn't learn much because I also was one of the younger dads. So I had more like recent experience. Right. Like when you just finished driving school, you're a really good driver. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. And then these other guys, they picked up bad habits. But oh, there was one story.

I think it could leave the table. It's leaving now. Yeah, it was one of these gentlemen. We were talking about the placenta. Oh, yeah, yeah. And he was like, his wife didn't know. They hadn't made a plan for what to do with this thing. Huck it.

Like, you know, eat it, bury it, plant a tree. Plant a tree? Make it into pills. Oh, yeah. Some people make it into pills. Yeah. Encapsulation is what that's called. But then, like, juice it?

Did that happen? Yeah, yeah. Cold press. Thank you. Cold press. Take it to Subway, make a juice out of a placenta sub. After birth sub. Of all the places you could go, you would go to Subway?

You got to go Quiznos. Yeah, exactly. It's Italian. Hi, I brought my placenta here. I know you guys are a sub shop, but can you juice this? Well, no, make it into a sub first. Yeah, that's true. Toast it, and then I will juice it. Then go to the bay. Turn it into

juice. Return the juicer. And then tell people, I just found out I'm pregnant. Then just walk around with the jar of it downtown. And let people look at it for a dollar. Like the goose that used to be on Granville.

There used to be a lady. Was she, it was in a baby carriage? Yeah. Yeah. And she would like let you look at her. Was it a duck or a goose? It was a goose. And I just, on the plane.

Oh, I misunderstood. I thought it was juice. I want my dollar back. Nope. It's in Hardcore Logo. It's like within the first 15 minutes of the movie hardcore logo you see her standing on the street with her goose and it brought back memories yeah yeah i assume both she and the goose dead uh yeah that was murder suicide by the goose yeah exactly uh exactly. So, placenta.

So they didn't know what to do with it. And so the wife's like, just bring it home. And they put it in a plastic bag with their remote controls. And just checked it in the freezer. And years went by. And they didn't know what to do with it. And then they moved to a different country. Oh, wow.

And he was like, well, what do we do with it now? And she was like, don't worry about it. I'll take care of it. And they crossed the border, and he unknowingly carried biohazard across the border. Sir, did you pack your own bags? Not only did I not pack my own bags i'm pretty sure there's something squishing around in there and then it's just on top of yeah it's like a it was in a cooler they arrived in their new home wife put it in the freezer

a separate freezer from the like fridge freezer yeah and then four years went by and they moved back to canada and uh opened the freezer and it was uh like the freezer was completely just filled with ice yeah so it took them days to chip away and melt it out like encino man yeah yeah it was encino placenta and then then I think brought it back. I don't know where the ultimate destination was. I don't think they've done anything with it yet. Well, but can't you just, what's the, at that point, what are you doing? You take it to the hospital and you just, please get rid of this.

Use it as a, yeah, like take it to the hospital and use it as a teaching aid. Yeah. You know, just, I don't know. Just throw it out, right? Flesh it? Can you flesh it? I think so use it as a teaching aid. Yeah. You know, just, I don't know. Just throw it out, right? Flesh it? Can you flesh it? I think so.

Oh, that would be embarrassing though. If you call the plumber? Yeah. And he's like, what the fuck? And you'd have to play dumb. You're like,

what? What did I eat? A placenta. But yeah, what, do you have the uh after childbirth to just go now i'm good yeah yeah yeah that's what we did no they forced you to take it home with you they were like you want this no but can't they use it or something to like extract the stem cells or something out of it you can you can get your cord blood and bank that for your child's future health or even your own if you get sick. Or you can add it to a bank and donate it to whomever needs it. Now, what's the deal with cord blood? Is it like better?

Oh, it's very, very nutrient rich. I bet you there's rich people. Vampires love it. Yeah, they get cord blood on the regular. They got a guy in New York. He comes over. He's an OBGYN. Yeah, yeah.

But he wears a cape. And you're like, well, that's what we have to deal with. Yeah, Dr. Drack. Yeah, I bet you. I bet. But stem cells can only come from aborted fetuses, not from the placenta. Is this that pseudoscience that that one lady was complaining about? There's some lady that wrote a review.

A scathing review. A scathing review of the podcast saying that it's filled with pseudoscience. Yeah, so much so that it's like distracting. Have you ever claimed to have any other kind of, I don't know any other kind of science except pseudoscience. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know minuto science. And I know judo science. Yeah, I'm the sweetest of sciences.

But yeah, we do make a claim up front of every episode. We'll change your life. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Guaranteed. This is the path to youth. Youth path. Youth pastor. You have to say it. Youth path. Youth pastor. I'm a youth pastor.

So that sounds like fun. That sounds like a fun kind of secret. Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. Do you think that the coven of dads will meet again only when a new dad? Or what if an old dad has a new kid? Then do you guys get to meet again?

I don't know. This was such a novel thing. Yeah, but it should be. You guys should get together every year. Check in with each other. The thing is, Abby belongs to mom groups. We all did prenatal classes, but she did a lot more research she she does so many more activities i did one thing yeah like seven months after the baby what was the one thing you did i

went to this dead oh yeah that's true it's like there's the it's a novel thing for dads to get together at all i think whereas moms are doing it all the time isn't that what all those things in the 50s and 60s, elk clubs and like elk sloths. Yeah, but they wouldn't talk about that. No, yeah, they would talk about that. Hey, there's an 8mm porn film I got from a sailor.

Oh. Let's watch that. I don't know what they talk about. Drive around in tiny cars and wear fezzes and watch a porno But that wasn't all they did I'm sure they talked About their kids right

Yeah I'm sure The Shriners And the Kinsmen And the Elks You can know a man For a very long time Before you find out He has a kid though

Yeah And you will probably know Within 30 minutes Of talking to a woman If she has a kid or not. Is that right? Like you've had that experience? It's not science.

No. Well. I worked with a guy for like three years. And then it was like, bring your child to work day. And he brought a child. Didn't introduce the child. And you were like, it wasn't bring a child to work. Well, it wasn't his child.

Oh, that's weird. Because like, I then't bring a child to work. Well, it wasn't his child. Oh, that's weird. Because I then asked one of my coworkers later, I was like, you know, he brought a kid to bring your kid to work, didn't he? He's like, he doesn't have a kid. Yeah. Might have been a friend's kid. Hey, wait a minute. He's that registered sex offender that we get tax cuts for hiring. What kind of program would that be?

Oh, thanks a lot, Obama. Obama child care. If you hire a sex offender, you don't have to pay any tax. Okay. McDonald's has never been the same. Oh, man. Don't look the man in the eye,

but order your Happy Meal. Oh, so yeah, that's what's going on eye, but order your Happy Meal. Oh. So, yeah, that's what's going on with me. What's going on with you, mon frere? What is going on with me? Here's the thing. You know I live in a cesspool of a place. I know of you.

Yes. I've never been there. I've never been invited in. Oh, you wouldn't want to come in. It's gross. I feel like I'm probably a vampire and I don't know it. I never get invited in places. It's true, because then you...

What happens if you invite a vampire in? He sucks out your placenta. He sucks out your stem cells? Yeah. He senses there's a placenta somewhere in the house. I caught a mouse. Ah! Yeah.

But this isn't a gross story or anything. Eek! A mouse. But,'s, this isn't a gross story or anything. Eek. A mouse. But like, my place, it's vermin. Okay. This is a place that should probably be. Condemned? Yeah, I think, I think it's like bulldozable.

I've noticed there's like, the other night I was staring, I was looking at my wall and I'm like, I'm not convinced that this wall is not made out of card tables that have all just been drywalled together uh because there's cracks and i noticed that it's there it's cracking in a exact shape of like four separate things so i'm like i don't think this is a real wall it's probably the pieces of drywall that haven't properly been seen. Or they probably got infected in seconds. Yeah, exactly. But this was the, so it just took a shower. And this first thing in the morning.

So I'm super groggy. And I'm walking back into my room. And I trip over this mouse. Like, I don't fall. Like, he's not holding out his little leg hilarious um but you know like something I was like ah like I kind of either stepped him or I don't know what uh and then I was like was that a mouse and then the mouse like was that was that a guy that wasn't a guy What portion of your day do you spend groggy?

You know, the early hours are tough. Hours? And then this mouse, usually you see a mouse and then boom, they're gone. Yeah. This mouse was so bad at hiding, he tried to go into my shoe and then he backed up. And then he started spinning in a circle And then he just kept spinning in a circle Maybe your shoes smelled so bad Yeah, yeah, exactly

But he just kept spinning in a circle And then I just stood there for I feel like a full minute Just watching Are you in a towel at this point? No, no, this is a co-ed uh house so i gotta put on a full suit just to go to the bathroom take it off take a shower put the whole suit back on uh so no i'm i'm uh dressed but i'm in uh i'm in no socks so i've made fur to mouse contact wait wait are you is your foot the fur in this situation yeah i got those hobbit feet yeah okay

uh anyway so the mouse is still just spinning long enough for me to like uh formulate a plan yeah or long enough for you to say hey are you all right and so i uh i have like a trivial pursuit box so i take the lid off of that and just throw it on top of the mouse. And then like, he's going crazy in there. And I'm like, well, I didn't think this through.

What are we going to do now? Can't see him. Can I hear him? And so I, I was just looking around the room and like, can I use this? Can I slide that under? And I can't remember what it was that I eventually slid under.

Oh, I collapsed. I took a bag of I eventually slid under. Oh, I collapsed. Took a bag of Ritz crackers out of the box. Collapsed the box. Is this all happening in one room or were you going to the kitchen to get the Ritz crackers? Yeah, I had to go into the pantry, get my Ritz crackers. Because I thought, oh, I'll get a baking tray and I won't tell anybody, right? That I used a baking tray to slide it under there.

But yeah, I used a Ritz cracker box and slid it under there. But then I still didn't know what to do with it. You shook it up? Yeah. Well, I kind of flicked the box. I'm like, because I was like, maybe I killed it. And that was its last thing was just to spin around. But he was still spinning around inside of the thing.

And then I had to walk it outside. Did you make a noise at any point? No, no, no. You didn't go, ah, or no.

Or what about, uh, the only thing, the only part of it that I hated was what I walked outside. And then there was a lady walking her dog and she saw me carrying this thing across the street to the empty lot. And, uh, you know, I had to like, uh, good morning. Good morning. Uh, And she saw me carrying this thing across the street to the empty lot. And, you know, I had to like, good morning, good morning.

You want this? Yeah. Do you think your dog would like this? Yeah. And then I threw it. I threw the whole contraption. I love that you tried it. You saved the mouse instead of just stomping down on the box and killing it.

Gently and then hurl it into the field. Into the abandoned lot. What else would you do with it? Christen a ship with it? Bash. Yeah. Take it on one of those tours where you take a picture of it in all the different places. Just rolling the box?

In my pajamas? Sneaking across the border in a bag of placenta. No, no, just sitting here carrying some biohazard. Yeah, so, yeah. Now, what is it about... Do you find the places or do the places find you?

I feel like the last few places you've lived have been bulldozable. Oh, yeah. Well, you know, I think when you. Are you putting something out in the universe? I think so. Yeah. Filth.

I'm getting filth back. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know. But definitely this place. It won't. But the thing is, it won't be condemned. Like, it'll stay that shabby yeah for

the next do you have to stay there yeah signed a long-term no his name's not on anything no yeah there's no evidence of me having lived in vancouver as far as i know you couldn't find a paper trail except that i voted i think that's right but any drifter can vote, right? Yeah. That's the thing that I say. That's my platform. Any drifter can vote. Anyways, yes, I took care of that mouse, but he'll probably just come back. Spinny the mouse. It's the very next day.

Spinny mouse. Yeah. Pretty good. Yeah. Yeah, and that's it. That's all that's been going on with me. Real humanitarian. Yeah, and mousetarian.

Yeah. Uh, do you want to... Can you juice a mouse? Yes. Uh, do you want to move on to overheards? Glad we got that in. Yes, after these messages. Hi, I'm Justin McElroy.

I'm Travis McElroy. I'm Griffin McElroy. We're brothers, and we host a podcast called My Brother, My Brother, and Me. It's a comedy advice show, and if you like podcasts, and I assume you do because you'll see one right now, you've got to come see us live at the Pacific Northwest area of America. And also Canada. Yeah, we're coming to Portland. We're coming to Seattle.

We're coming to Vancouver. We're going to be there August 28th, 29th, and 30th. I want to buy tickets to the Portland show. Tough. They're sold out. Pretty good. Pretty good advertisement so far. But there are tickets still available for the Seattle show and for the Vancouver show.

If you go to bit.ly forward slash mbmbam Seattle and bit.ly forward slash van mbmbam tickets are still available there. They are assigned seating and they're going fast. So don't miss your chance to get them. Go right now. Go do it. Go right now. Go. Do it. Don't wait. Also, the medical history podcast I do with my wife, Sawbones, another MaxFun show, is going to be there as well.

It's a big show. It's going to be a huge show full of fun, full of excitement. You won't want to miss it. Gosh, we hope you've heard of our shows before, or else this is just very weird for you. We're brothers. We're experts. And we're live, baby. Welcome to Oh No, Ross and Carrie.

Ross. Hi, Carrie. What do you think is creepier? Okay. You jump into a swimming pool. All of a sudden, the water goes away, and instead of water, there is the bones of your dead ancestors. Ew.

Or our show. That's pretty tough because we visited a live exorcism. We joined the Ordo Templi Orientis where we had to worship a naked lady. Oh, and we joined that Tony Alamo cult. They were scary. Super creepy. We joined the Aethery Society. We tried penis enlargement, or at least I did.

Oh boy, I tried breast enlargement. We have basically done every creepy, weird fringe thing, except for thousands more, which we will get to if you listen to our show. I'd still say the swimming pool with my ancestors' bones. Well, then I don't even know if people should listen. I guess they shouldn't. But if you want to, we're at Maximum Fun, and the show's called I Know Ross and Carrie. Overheard. Overheard Overheard

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Overheard Overheard Overheard Overheard Overheard Overheard Overheard Overheard Overheard Overheard Overheard Overheard Overheard Overheard Overheard Overheard Overheard Overheard Overheard Overheard Overheard Overheard Overheard Overheard Overheard Overheard Overheard Overheard Overheard Overheard Overheard Overheard Overheard Overheard Overheard Overheard Overheard New theme song at 375 episodes in. Overheards is now word on the street. We always like to start with the guest.

Yes, thank you. So if you'll, yeah, lead the charge. I have 1.5 overheards. Whoa. Okay. Okay. So my first official overheard. Ear to the ground. all overheard.

Ear to the ground. So I was in Denman Place Mall. Yeah. Which. I didn't know that existed. Well, it barely does. It used to have a movie theater, didn't it? It did. Yeah.

Now it's at Dollarama. So. Everything is now. Yay. World we live in. Yeah, it's basically. You can get some pretty good Mesh underwear there Yeah

Most of my underwear Is a mesh By the time I'm done With it anyway Oh gross That's my Sean Connery Impression That's pretty good

Yeah Yeah Vaginal mesh Sorry about the Vaginal mesh You wanted to join a clash action lawsuit involving vaginal mesh.

Now this advertisement I'm doing, it's for a mesh that you create in ladies' nethers. Yeah, that's right, child. Just read the copy. Do you know that he turned down Lord of the Rings because he didn't understand the story? Yeah, and would have made half a billion dollars from it.

Anyways, go on. Okay. You're in Denman Place Mall. Buying underpants. And there's a man, I'm going to say early to mid-30s, with a young boy following him. And I'm holding the door because there's a hotel attached. And I'm holding the door into the hotel. And the kid, just like a foot from the door, stops and says, there's a hotel attached and I'm holding the door into the hotel. And the kid just like a foot from the door stops and says, what did you call her?

And the kid's like probably maybe three. Right. And the dad turns around and he said, Haley, because sometimes I, I call her Haley. That's her name. And the kid just looks up and stomps his feet and goes, It's mommy! It was so irate. Oh, I love when my parents would call each other mom and dad. Yeah, come back here, daddy.

It's usually father when like grown people call like their spouses Mother Mother Father Mother Father Yeah

But when you're little You think your parents' names Are mommy and daddy Well Sharon Osbourne Calls Ozzy Daddy Now I'm trying to think Did my parents call each other

Mom and dad? No No No one's parents did But they would refer to When you're a kid go see mommy yeah go see mom or or you know dad or you know those are the two options yeah but they well they would say uh yeah go go ask your dad yeah go ask bill yeah yeah go ask my husband.

Yeah. Did you ever, my mom would say your father when she was trying to. Mr. Clark will be home. Oh yeah. Oh, I like the distance. Yeah. Look at what your father did. Yeah. Look what your father did.

Your father thought it would be fun. Yeah. That is a good way to let kids know that you're upset with your, file that away in the dad file. Sure. Yeah. Look what your mom did. Yeah. That is a good way to let kids know that you're upset with your... File that away in the dad file. Sure, yeah. Look what your mom did. Yeah, look what your mom dragged in. Some bed bug ridden furniture.

Do you want to do your half overheard now? Or do you want us to go around and come back to you? Let's go around. All right. Okay. Dave, hit us. Mine is an overseen. And it's sort of like... It's not laugh out loud funny. You're not going to LOL. Okay. Dave, hit us. Mine is an overseen. And it's sort of like, it's not laugh out loud funny.

You're not going to LOL. Okay. It's like. LMAO foe? It's like, hey, what's this guy's deal? Okay. That's what. That's what.

So it was someone driving an Aston Martin, a modern British sports car, the kind James Bond drives. Sure. And I don't think you can choose your license plate. It wasn't a. Vanity plate. Vanity plate. It was a regular license plate, but it was 007 and then three letters. I'm not going to give this guy's whole plate.

Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah yeah no fair enough um and uh so it was like hey this guy must have i don't know if he it was luck of the draw or he like paid a guy five bucks like hey get me one with 007 in it uh for my james bond car uh but the the douchey thing yeah was that his front license plate he had cut it so it was like long and thin like a european license plate oh are you allowed to do that no i well i don't know if the front license plate makes any difference oh that's true yeah yeah uh so yeah i was like what's that guy's thing yeah what's uh remember when you used to have you used to have to have one on the front and on the back what was that you have one for still in bc yeah oh really okay yeah but like yeah why don't you have to have one in like california you'll see people driving you don't you'll see people just driving

with like you know a sports fan on the back. They just like all sports. They went to the trouble of putting a fake one in there. Yeah, ask me about sports. I lost weight. Ask me how. Yeah, yeah. Does anybody have the bumper sticker anymore?

My kid's an honor student. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I've seen like, or at least like my kid goes to this academy. Oh, yeah. I've seen like, or at least like my kid goes to this academy. Oh, yeah. He's not doing so well. My kid gets bullied at this fancy private school.

But nobody ever puts it just a public school. It's always an academy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My kid went on wacky adventures at police academy. Yeah.

But I thought that would be like a perfect bumper sticker if you were like a perfect bumper sticker if you were like a total creep and you wanted to sit outside a

high school and like check out the girls as long as you have one of those bumper stickers. Oh yeah.

People assume. I don't know why these thoughts come to me guys. But you're they put it on like a

color coding system so they're like that guy's got a yellow one that one's like seven years old.

Also why is he yeah sitting there in a civic it's got a yellow one. That one's like seven years old. Also, why is he sitting there in a Civic? It's got a bunch of newspapers in the backseat. Yeah. Why is it lined in plastic? Yeah, exactly. It's weird, though, because it's like if you can afford to send your kid to one of these really nice schools, you don't want to put a bumper sticker on your really nice car.

No, you want to get your car engraved. Yes. Yeah. You better stay on the honor roll. Look what your father did to the car. Graham.

Yeah. You don't have one. I do. I do. I overheard. I heard his little mouse and said, please don't throw me. I do. I do. I overheard. I heard his little mouse. It said, please don't throw me. I'm so scared.

I never did nothing to you. I tripped you. I'm sorry. It was a dare. It was two ladies talking. And this one lady was, neither of them had kids with them at the time. But the one lady was trying to explain to the other lady that kids have an innate little kids have an innate wisdom and uh the one lady

said oh i'm telling you if you're buying a house bring a newborn with you if you bring the newborn into the house and it screams don't buy that house. What? I was like, but don't, they scream for everything. Yeah. Ice cream. Well, who doesn't? But like. Your own newborn? Because like, do you have to wait until you have a baby and then be like, let's go house shopping?

Well, you just get a newborn. Yeah. Can you rent out your newborn to prospective homebuyers? Yes. You tell people it's for commercial. Ah, there you go. You get those Hollywood moms, Vancouver North moms.

Yeah, yeah, right? Vancouver North. No, Hollywood North. Oh, yeah, Vancouver North. North Vancouver. You get those North Vancouver moms. They love hiking. From Dollar to the Highway. Oh, yeah. Now,

you have a half over her? Okay. Yeah, yeah. I want to hear it. So, this is, again, not an LOL situation, although we did LOL. Katie Humphrey, Katie Ellen Humphreys, and myself were walking down Spring Garden Road in Halifax. That sounds very nice. Oh, it's beautiful.

Beautiful. Spring Garden Road. Yes, please. That sounds very nice. Oh, it's beautiful. Beautiful. Spring Garden Road. Yes, please. There was a guy. Not spring all year round, though. No. But it's always a garden.

Yeah. It's probably mostly snow and salt sometimes. They look like real jerks in February. I'll be on Litterbug Alley. That's what they call it. Because,

so anyway. They take down yeah at the end of every summer the ceremonial taking down of the spring garden roadside said oh

they're going up litterbug alley litterbug alley is now open for business and yeah just swarms and lost tourist corner um

my GPS just exploded when I got here I have no idea what's happening. Where is this juice place? So there's a guy a few steps ahead of us, and he's got one of those reusable coffee mugs,

and the lid falls to the ground. So Katie Ellen bends down and grabs it. I was going to kick it into the street. I kicked her hand. No, so she picks it up and takes kind of a two-step you know like to catch up to the guy and she says uh sir sir and he stops and she's like you're you dropped your coffee lid and then he he's like oh thank you very much and gives it back to him and we pass him. And then about three beats, we hear him go, sir. You look back, it's two kids in a trench coat.

We fooled them. Yeah, we did it. I told you that coffee cup was going to work. Oh, where was I when I saw someone like drop, they dropped something out of their bag and it was like, I looked around and, but it was, it was like in a waiting room. Yeah. They'll turn around and see it at some point. I don't need to point it out to this person.

I don't want to form a friendship that will last our entire lives by like letting them know that they dropped a mitten. by like letting them know that they dropped a mitten. I was at a restaurant the other night and I pulled out my keys and a dime fell out of my pocket and it made the loudest sound a dime could make. But then a guy at the other table looked at the ground and then looked at me and we locked eyes like he was looking like what are you gonna do man you're gonna go for that dime or what and i was trying to convey to him like not a chance not a chance oh you're not oh you're too good for a dime yeah well no i'm not i'm not giving this guy the satisfaction oh yeah your pride you would have

sat in that cold hot tub for a very long time oh Oh man, I'd still be there this very day. Chilling drinks. Oh, bring more ice. I like a cold. I like a cold tub. Now we also have overheards that are sent in by listeners. If you want to send one into us,

you can send it into spy at maximum fun.org. This first one comes from a lady who calls herself Missy That's a pretty fun nickname, Missy You don't think it's short for misdemeanor? I don't want to say, I don't say the last names, I only say the first name Yeah, but it is Missy M-E You lost it and then you got it This is a photo. She sent a photo of the sink in her office.

The sink is leaking as one of the pipes is broken. And somebody's written a note and has put it in the sink. Do not use. Sink is broken. And the note is soaking wet. Pretty good. Yeah, that is pretty good like that's the exact yeah one thing you could do to stick it to that i just use a little bit of water yeah no he's gonna

so thirsty have you ever seen an out of order sign tried it anyways like something an elevator and i'm like i wonder if it is not an elevator that's I'm like, I wonder if it is. It's not an elevator. That's a dongeroo. But you wouldn't just, the out of order doesn't mean the door opens and you step in. Yeah, wait a minute. While the door's open, things check out somewhere. Yeah, I think so. I think, because sometimes you're like, oh, it's just the, uh, maintenance workers put it there and forgot to take it off or they just don't want you to use it, but it's still, I know how to use this thing. Yeah.

It's like those guys that save the parking spots. With the cones. Yeah. The cones. That I feel like I always want to mess with. Or the upside down bucket is really big in like out by the peony. Yeah. Upside down buckets on the streets. You can't put it right side up. It'll just accumulate the peony. Yeah. Upside down buckets on the streets.

You can't put it right side up. It'll just accumulate so much rain. Then what are you going to do with it? Mail it to California. This next one comes from William C. In Maryland. Maryland? Did I say that right?

Maryland. No, it's Maryland. You really got to emphasize the Y. Now, keep in mind, this is from, I think, November? Uh-huh. It's been November at this point of last year. Okay, so this will be about how hard it is to hold a candle in the rain. On a recent morning, I was watching the Today Show.

I caught the tail end of an interview with steve carell who's promoting his movie alexander and the terrible horrible no good very bad day yeah the host capped off the interview with this brief review of the movie let me tell you it's fantastic and it's only 80 minutes long oh yeah i didn't need two hours of parking it was great yeah yeah in and out they'll validate that no problem uh it's only 80 minutes with previews yeah and trailer i noticed there's a lug long trip have you ever watched a movie that you know they counted the uh credits as part of the running time i think every movie does but usually the credits are short.

Yeah. Sometimes they show like, uh, outtakes and stuff like, like, well, we didn't shoot enough movie. Like we only got an hour long.

It's not good enough. Oh yeah. Well, yeah. But I like that in a documentary. If I'm going through my Netflix and I'm like, oh, a 75 minute documentary.

These guys aren't trying to like add a third act where uh the oh the two people have to meet yeah that you recommended one that i thought was good it was the atari one yeah it was all right yeah but it was 70 minutes yeah perfect yeah if you're ever if you need a just a an hour you know yeah Want to learn about the E.T. video game? Yeah. Do I? There you go. What did I watch the other night?

I couldn't get over it. Oh, I watched the Dawn of the Planet of the Apes. Is that the recent one? Yeah. Yeah. And the apes ride horses, right? Uh-huh. So it's just like no matter what, the horses are fucked.

Like, it doesn't matter what transpires. Well, but, I mean, when mankind dies out, at least horses are still alive. Yeah. Yeah, that's true. Oh, that's true. So they just, but I'm sure that they were like, yay, mankind's dying. Oh. We're, we're, ah, no.

Now these apes are on us. They don't even use a saddle. I've got fingers for toes. They just keep tickling us while they ride. Yeah, they just grab on instead of use a saddle i've got fingers for toes they just keep tickling us while they ride yeah they just grab on instead of using a saddle they really do yeah oh man poor horses uh this last one uh comes from philip s uh this is overheard in my high school english class kid to his friend oh my god I invented a new word. Ready? Swagulous. That is pretty good. Yeah. I don't know.

I guess it's just fabulous swag. Yeah, of course. Swagulous, swagulous. Pretty good. But, uh, Fergie. Fergie, Ferg. You just invented a new song. Now, in addition to overheards that are written in, we also accept your phone calls. If you want to call us, our phone number is as follows, and I quote, 206-339-8328, like these people have.

Hi, Dave and Graham and possible guests. This is Whitney from New York calling with an overseen. This is Whitney from New York calling with an overseen I was on the subway And a guy got on the subway Right behind me with Carrying a giant ornate Wood and velvet chair A Louis Couture's chair

And he plonked that down And that was already great But then two thoughts later Another man got on, walked straight in And tried to sit down in the chair It was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen on the subway. Oh, I like this. Yeah.

Comfy. Yeah, this new seating. I'm glad I... Subway chairs are so uncouth. But then he mansplayed on it, and everybody took pictures of him and shamed him. Yeah, you gotta shame that guy. What's a...

What did mansplay? Is this with guys with their crazy wide open legs? It's like swagulous meets crotches. Yeah. Yeah. So they take up like two seats by spreading their neat legs apart and then like their bag beside them so they're taking up a whole

bunch of seats. Yeah. And then over here all the ladies usually have their purse on their laps. Just everything tucked in. You know what happened to me on the bus this morning? This really, because I feel like here's the thing. If you don't know me on the bus, you think that guy, if there's a smell, you're like, that's the guy that smells.

That guy lives in a house with mice. Yeah, yeah. That's the dude that smells. And the mice are the landlords. But I was standing next to this lady who smelled so bad this morning. And she wasn't

like a homeless lady. She just smelled horrible. Yeah. And then I was like, oh, God. I know everybody thinks it's me, so I got to get away

from it. So when a seat became available, I made like a beeline for her. But then another seat became available right next, and she sat down.

And then instantly, I was like, now all these people think. Oh, so you couldn't know. Women stink. Buffalo 66 taught us that. I don't know what that means. Girls stink. Oh, do they? I thought that they were made of sugar and spice and everything nice. It's a line from the movie.

I haven't seen the movie, but it was sampled in a rap song. Anyway. But isn't it boys? Boys are made of snakes and snails. And puppy dogs' tails. Yeah, so we're the ones that stink. And girls are sugar and spice and everything. Nice.

Yeah. Which is, I mean, not fair. Glass ceiling for boys is made of. Now, speaking of them in the mansplation department. Yeah. Have you ever been, both of you, answer on the same department. Yeah. Um, have you ever been, both of you answer on the same time. Okay. Um, have you been told how to sit?

Uh, where? On the bus or? Just in general. Like somebody said, hey, sit like this? Yeah. Yeah. I remember one. I remember one time in junior high, uh, just to bother everybody, because I saw it on a Fireside cartoon.

I thought it was really funny. I would sit on the basketball bench with my legs crossed, and I really bothered this one guy on the team. He was like, stop doing that. And I was like, why? I'm bringing class to this team. I just feel like it's something women are told, like, keep your ankles together. Right. I've never in my life been like, no one's told me like, oh, this is how you must sit.

Yeah. Yeah, just that one guy told me to uncross my legs. Other than up straight. Oh, yeah. Sit up straight. Sit up straight, shoulders back. Well, were you taught as like a young girl, like, oh, you got to sit a certain way if you're wearing a dress or something like that? a young girl?

Like, oh, you got to sit a certain way if you're wearing a dress or something like that? Well, every girl is taught when they get their first fur coat and a first-turn vagina to sit ankles crossed. Ankles crossed?

Yes. Instead of, this is very impolite how I'm sitting now. You at home, I'm just sitting with the leg crossed, but you're supposed to sit

I call that basketball pitch formation. Your ankles crossed. But then the whole time you're using your thigh muscles to keep your legs together. It's too much work. Oh, wow. That is, that's intense.

Imagine sitting like that all day. Hello. Cross your ankles. And sit on one of those yoga balls. What about that? Well, that's fun. Where somebody puts their leg. It's not crossed, but they put the ankle on the knee.

Yeah. Like a hip stretch. Yeah, yeah. I like. Just like a little figure four leg lock. I remember I saw that on a talk show, like I said on Letterman. I was like, I remember thinking,

I'm going to give that a try. Yeah, it's good. Like the next time I'm in a chair, I'm going to try that out. It's masculine. Well, they say like, and that's the whole thing with mansplaining is they're making themselves bigger.

Like women are, well, we are holding our purse because we're afraid to be robbed. Our legs are crossed because we're afraid to be raped. So it's a fun day on the bus. It is not easy. No. But it doesn't, it's yeah.

Hashtag not all men. Hashtag yes all women. Yeah. Hashtag. I do love that we were explaining men playing and as soon as I finished, Graham just without hashtag I do love that we were explaining mansplaining and as soon as I finished

Graham just without missing a beat said let me tell you what happened to me enough of your story it's not mansplaining

it's mansplaining yeah yeah mansplaining is a whole other thing but like why is cause what's the other thing

is just holding even that's it's an exercise that's awfully tough to hold just holding, even that's. It's an exercise. That's awfully tough to hold your knees together. Yeah, it's like when you tell a dog to sit. It's like they have to use a lot of muscles to not just lie down or stand up. Oh, is that right?

I don't know. Yeah. But it's like. It must be. It's not completely natural for, they won't stay sitting for hours. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Okay, here's your next phone call. Oh, I'm trying to keep my knees together. It hurts. Mm-hmm. Hi, Dave, Graham, and Gus. This is Joe from St. Louis with an overheard. We're back. I was just at Goodwill, and this lady was looking at an exercise bike and said she might buy it in order to, quote, get her inner thigh game going.

Oh! Wow. Yeah. How fortuitous is that? That was very good. Have you... I couldn't remember if that call made the cut this week, so I was like, hmm, I hope this comes around. Have either of you watched, there's a reality show called Extreme Cheapskates? Yeah. if that call made the cut this week. So I was like, hmm, I hope this comes around.

Have either of you watched, there's a reality show called Extreme Cheapskates? Yeah. No. We talked about it once, maybe two years ago, because there was a woman who was pregnant and... Returned a dress. No, but her, like, her, the man in her life was like,

yeah, I can make this. I just, like, pulled some stuff out of a dumpster. Like, yeah, I can make this. I just pulled some stuff out of a dumpster. Like, yeah, I can make this into a breast pump. Oh. And her name was Angel Durr, I remember. First name Angel, last name Durr. Missing the T. Angel Dirt.

Oh, baby, you smell like angel dirt. Anyways, I was watching it in the hotel in Winnipeg, and there was a lady who loved using an exercise bike, but she was too cheap to buy an exercise bike. Well, it cost like $5 at the thrift store. But she went to a friend's store she would work out and on like something he was selling oh yeah and then she became like kind of like a like local crazy person that people would come and see like hey check out the woman who works out in the store and then uh yeah i would just like find a bike and tear the

wheels off but then she ended up buying a stationary bike, but then she used it to charge the battery for her pool. Like her pool filter. Anyways. You can't be a cheapskate and also like have a pool. Oh, man. That was the biggest part of it was that she bought a house with a pool and she's like, I'm going to make this pool work.

So she sunk a bunch of garbage cans filled with rocks to displace water and the kids were like it's great i gotta get to go down there and get rocks totally displaced um i had yeah the episode i saw also had a woman who was like a millionaire by like some kind of she was an author but it was a scam. She was like some self-published thing where like if you publish enough you get a tax break anyway. And her ex-husband still did stuff for her

and she fed him cat food and told him it was tuna. That would be the best. If she fed him dry cat food, she'd be like, no, no, it's tuna. Tuna bits. Alright, here's your final overheard of 2015.

Hi, Dave and Graham and guests. This is Caitlin calling, and I was recently in... I'm calling with an overheard. I was recently in Asheville, North Carolina, and walking around the downtown area, and there's a lot of younger...

I'm going to be blunt. No, I'm going to hang up. I'm done. All right, bye. Abandoned, overheard. My favorite kind. Yeah. No, there's no good way to say this.

What's the kind? You know, I'm an awful person. Oh. Oh, yeah. Classic Caitlin. Yeah. It was going to be racist, right?

We all agree. Or maybe classist. Or who knows? I hope it was like, I don't want to say anything too nice. Yeah, exactly. I can't think of a way to put these people down yeah well this won't be funny because it turns out everyone's just trying their hardest uh yeah man anyways good good for you yeah good good bail i uh i bailed on something i liked on Facebook. You liked it?

Yeah, I liked it, and then I reread it, and I was like, oh, no. No, I don't like that. It was something like, I thought the person made one point, but then when I reread it, I was like, they used a wording I don't know. Yeah. But you can take those things back. That's what's so great about the internet. You can say, yep, and then a second later be, nope. And who's going to know, right? It's the best.

Now, Erica, that brings us to the end of the show. What would you like to plug? I mean, we're right this week, you and I, Ivan Decker, and we're at the precipice of a big change. You and I and Ivan Decker and Howie Miller will be touring in Saskatchewan. Yes, we will. In outfits of not yet purchased. Yeah, yeah.

I'm just going to, I have this, I got this like underwear that you just, you wash and you hang it up. It's like, you know, super fiber, futuristic super fiber. So I'm going to wear those. Okay. And one pair of pants and a t-shirt and I'm going to find everything else on the road. I like that. Yeah. I also have underwear that you wash and hang up.

It's called cotton. No, no, you guys. You wash, yeah. It's the fiber of the future and the fabric of our lives. But it's like, you know, like some futuristic. So you just like, no, you don't need soap. Right. No, need soap. Right. No,

nobody does. Yeah. Also, in, I'm just going to take over the end of the show. Yeah, yeah,

please. June 11th, 12th, and 13th, I will be headlining at the Comedy Mix in Vancouver, British Columbia.

Five shows to come and see Eric Asherton with MC Ivan Decker, middle act, yet to be booked. Oh, that's a solid show. That's huge. Especially MC Ivan Decker middle act yet to be booked solid show that's huge

especially that unbooked middle act yeah that could be anyone the unbooked comic yeah

like the potential is unlimited yeah I hope it's Bruce Bruce who do you hope it is oh Bill Cosby

yeah yeah very controversial these I'd like to see a middle take him down a notch and if you've never seen Erica do stand-up comedy controversial things. I'd like to see a middle. Take them down a notch.

And if you've never seen Erica do stand-up comedy, it's such a trait. And you really, you owe it to yourself. You work hard. You do. And you're somebody that tours around. Like people can find out what, like tour dates. You've got a website.

I've got a website. I'm going to be all over the place, guys. What is that website yeah it is uh www it's on the world wide web um erica sigurdson.com there it is and on twitter uh at erica underscore sigurdson and it's sigurdson go that's uh s-I-G-U-R-D-S-O-N. Yeah. Sign letters. Yeah. Pretty good. Pretty good, Dan.

Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow. Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow. Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow. Thanks so much for being our cat. One day we should do that cat cast. Oh, where we just talk to cats? No, just you and me 90 minutes of meows. Yeah, oh.

Yeah. And now our overheards. Meow, meow, meow. What's the right way to meow? Never mind. If you like the show, head on over to MaximumFun.org. Check out the blog recap. Oh, yeah.

What's going to be there? There's going to be pictures and videos of things we talked about on the show, which would be one. You have your thumb up. My thumb up. Dress. Dress pictures. Oh, yeah. The dress picture.

You and your, yeah, the fantastic matching dresses. Macklemore. Yeah. Maybe my fur coat. I don't know. Yeah. Who knows what's going to happen? Yeah, sure. Juice. We'll have a picture of juice. Yeah don't know. Yeah. Who knows what's going to happen? Yeah, sure.

A juice. We'll have a picture of juice. Yeah, Buffalo 66. Yeah. That line, whatever it was. About girls stink. They all stink.

And, and, you know, you can go on iTunes, you can leave a review. Mm-hmm. And, it's under science.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's science dash proven. and it's under science yeah yeah yeah science dash proven and if you like the show do tell your friends and come on back next week for another episode

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