Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 376 - Nima Gholamipour

Episode Date: June 1, 2015

Nima Gholamipour returns to talk escape rooms, Mother's Day, and Fly Over Canada.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 376 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who was born and raised in West Philadelphia, Mr. Dave Shumka. Is that how that song starts? I think so.

Born and raised in West Philadelphia. Spent all my days on the playground. See, you made it work. Yeah. It's just a little tweak, but it's still a good song. It's better than a song. Yeah. It's a theme song.

I started re-watching that from the beginning on Netflix. I don't think you have to watch it from the beginning. There's no overarching story. Well, the first episode there is. There's a long, extra long theme song. Oh, that's true song there's an airplane part yeah then he shows up and they show you the foyer which you never see again i watched the first episode a few months ago and then i was like i'm a grown-up yeah yeah yeah i don't need

to recapture everything from my youth and our uh guest today returning guest to the podcast, very thrilled to have him back, comedian, improviser, artist, cartoonist, all of these things. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nima Golomipour. Did I say it right? I said it right. You said it right. I like you.

That was my name. Thank you for coming back. Thanks for having me. Oh, no, thank you. No, no, no. Thank you. All right. All right.

We can play this all day. Oh thanks um should we win uh yeah let's get to know us get to know us how are things man things are great yeah yeah what's going on really vibing like well yeah yeah yeah how so yeah what's why why is your vibe so good yeah i don't know i just started a new job like in the same place but uh yeah i work as a like a storyboard revisionist now so you've moved up yeah just uh just a different different position yeah yeah but like uh a little more scratch a little more Responsibility No same scratch Same scratch Son of a bitch I guess my question is What does vibing mean Um

Yeah what does vibing mean Vibing It could mean anything man Yeah yeah That's the great thing About words It could be like Yeah

You feeling good You like feeling good I feel like We are Will Smith And he is Jaden Smith Yes Yes This is very hip Jaden Smith Yes, yes This is very hip

Jaden Smith is off Twitter now Yeah, he was a god Is that like on Fleek? That was during Fleek week Yeah, suddenly disappeared Do you think he's missing? Yeah, he's missing Also Joss Whedon

In the same week, wasn't it? Is that the king of Sweden? Yeah, yeah King Joss Whedon In the same week Wasn't it? Is that the King of Sweden? Yeah yeah King Joss Whedon Um But like Uh Uh

Do you think they're the same person As where I was Going with it Totally Yeah Yeah yeah Cause they've never worked together On a project

And uh Jaden Smith worked with everybody Yeah Will Smith That's about it Oh Jackie Chan Jackie Chan Yeah

Willow Smith, maybe. Yeah, they've probably collabed on a couple YouTube videos or something like that. Totally. Songs. They were at South by Southwest. Oh, man. Oh, man. Can you imagine going to a secret show and then it turns out it's Willow and Jaden Smith?

Yeah. Can I imagine that? It happened. Yeah. Am I... Is everyone there excited about it? No, you're the only one there. Oh, it's a secret happened. Yeah. Am I, is everyone there excited about it? No, you're the only one there. Oh, it's a super secret show.

Yeah, yeah. You won a contest for Marie Buck. I remember seeing like when Much Music was doing a lot of reality shows that were music related. There was one where it was like, I get to meet a rock star. And it was these two girls who got to meet John Mayer. And it was like a super awkward interaction where he's playing guitar for these two girls sitting two feet from him. Oh, yeah. I think he was probably trying, like he was being awkward.

Right? Oh, like I could see John Mayer doing something like that. Well, like being awkward on purpose? Just, yeah, on purpose. Like, so that he could be like, oh, I'm not good around pretty girls. Oh, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then he's like, what say you and her and her go to my filthy tour bus?

And you know it's filthy. John Mayer. Oof. Oof. The stories he could tell. Who would you meet if you had to meet a pop star? Oh, Michael Jackson. Oh, yeah.

Oh, Michael Jackson or Kanye yeah Oh, Michael Jackson or Kanye No, you only get to pick one The list goes on and on Yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah Okay, yeah, Michael Jackson I want to hear more of this list MJ, Kanye

MJ, Kanye, Chance the Rapper Okay Okay This list is going downhill Yeah, I feel like you could meet Chance the Rapper Fairly easily It starts off the top I can't meet MJ

I probably can't meet Kanye No And then Chance And then Who else Who's the most famous person you could realistically meet You know like in an elevator Or any of the baronet ladies i feel like it's you too oh us too no the band i'm confused too um they're in town yeah i feel like you could meet you too they've been

you could meet bono they've been been, you know, practicing their... They were at that level where you couldn't meet them, and they're slowly meeting us. Yeah, they're slowly... Yeah, we could probably get Larry Mullen Jr. on the show. Do you think... Like, people want what they're doing still, right? U2?

People will go see a live U2 concert. Yeah, because it's sold out, but not a canned one. Yeah, people don't want the albums, though. No, people really didn't want that one album. That's weird. When somebody says, I would prefer to not have this free thing on my

computer, like, that's that really sends a message. That was rough on U2. And they may have overstepped their boundaries a message. That was rough on you two. And they may have overstepped their boundaries a bit. Yeah. Like if they had done that maybe in what?

96? When the internet just came out. Oh yeah. It crashes your computer. It'll take you two weeks to download this and you can't take any other phone calls in that time. But it's automatic?

Yeah, you get Zoropa. Yeah, this is a web crawler's gift to all of YouTube fans everywhere. Oh, I like to reimagine that. Just like overreaching. that like just like over uh overreaching yeah well that was like there's no there's no musical act that's ever done something that crazy that i can think of it was i mean it's not that crazy jay-z jay-z and samsung did something together he really do he released it on on your like if you had samsung he released on on there or something like that? Yeah, you got his album before everyone else. But then U2 one-upped him.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. Who's next? Yeah, who? Dead Michael Jackson. He's the only guy. Yeah, he comes out with another album. Did you hear his last album?

Yeah. It wasn't bad. It wasn't bad. It was good. Yeah. But did you, like, in the last album, it had, uh, his original songs and then it had like the newly, uh,

like produced, like new versions of the songs. Which one did you like? I forget. I like the one that went, boom, that was really good.

That was really good. That was really good. Um, there's one that's in a Jeep commercial now. Oh really? Yeah. Cause he has a song about being in a Jeep

And that commercial There's like There's a commercial that used to come on all the time With the Samsung Galaxy Around like I don't know World Cup or something like that I don't know when that happened But it was like a guy dancing In a subway station

Like on cardboard And there's a weird dude not related to him yeah just filming him but looking very creepy and that weird dude was michael jackson's ghost i think oh yeah i'm pretty sure you're good too we're gonna get graham no i'm not good no i've seen i've seen how well it can happen, and now I'm intimidated. Oh, man. Do you think you ever will meet Michael Jackson? I hope so. Really?

I don't know. In heaven? Yeah. I bet you. In some afterlife. Do you think if you met Michael Jackson that he would shake your hand, or would he be? I think at this point he's skeptical of shaking anyone's hand.

Ah, yeah. But like, I mean. Because he's a ghost? Yeah, he's like, I just know my hand's going to go right through yours. Yeah, it's going to bother you. It's going to spook you.

Yeah. I don't want to put you through that. I love you, but I can't. Oh my God, is he here? Yeah, can we ask some questions? Hi there, Grandma Dave. Oh.

Oh, hello, Michael. Hi, Michael. Hi, Michael. Yoo-hoo. Is it true that you like to dance? Oh, shit. No, I should have thought of a better question. True that you have a glove. No, I mean, these are obvious things.

Why am I asking these dumb questions? What are your brother's names? I know that. I know these things. Oh, Sam. No, I got to go. know these things. I gotta go. I'm embarrassed. That'd be great. An interviewer who asks things everyone knows

about celebrities. Yeah. So you're a movie star. Let me list off the movies I know that you were in. What's that like? Or, oh, did you enjoy that?

Or just reading back answers from other interviews to them, but with no follow-up question. You said this to Entertainment Weekly that you enjoyed working on Thor. Yeah. In 1997, you said your favorite color was blue. Is it still? Yeah. In an interview with Team Beat? We just want to see

if the story checks out. Mm-hmm. Do you saw that interview with Robert Downey Jr. with the guy who was trying to make the Junket interview into more of an in-depth interview

and he walked out? That's that guy's whole deal is that he goes on junket. What did he ask him? Something about his father? Yeah, and about his recovery and stuff. But he didn't segue at all from it. He's just like, okay, well, those are the Iron Man questions I have.

Now my reporter questions. When you were in prison for drugs. Yeah. And anyways, he walked out. He just did. Tony Stark did. And RDJ just walked out? Yeah.

Wow. Yeah. RDJ. I love it. So you're vibing. Yeah, you're vibing. Yeah, I'm vibing. I'm chilling.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I'm doing good. Yeah, you're vibing. I'm chilling. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I'm doing good. What are you doing? So you're working. You've got a full-time gig. Yeah. You're doing comedy in the evenings.

Doing lots of comedy. Yeah. And are you going on any vacations? Are you staying here in town? Yeah, I recently came back from Brazil. Okay. Brazil. Oh, now we're blanking.

Yeah. It was awesome. So this person i work at uh was getting married there she's she's from brazil okay and so is her uh significant other and they like invited me and i went and it was during like were you surprised that they invited you uh a little bit a little bit because i i i've known this person for like the last year right yeah it's not like a close friend, but now we're close friends. Oh, wow. Yeah.

Well, no, if you go to Brazil with somebody, although they're probably too busy getting married. Yeah, that's true. They can't give you a tour. Yeah. What did you do? Did you go down there just by yourself? No, I went with a couple more people from my studio.

Okay. And yeah, that I knew from school school like i'd graduated with them right so we went together and it was a blast and it was like you're going to brazil there's a wedding carnival is also happening oh wow and it's just like everything was lining up where in brazil everything was lining up fair enough the wind was at my back, the stars are aligned. Hooray! What was that stinger from the World Cup? It was like, O-A-R O-A-R

I don't know, I'll have to take your word for it. What was it? As I walk around the something shamona, my my Jeep begins to rock. Jeep commercial. It's that one where, no, what is it, the Buick commercial?

Are those the ones where people are like getting into the wrong car? Are scanning? No, someone's like, oh, yeah, I'm over here in the Buick. And then they're like, all right, I'll just get into this car that I assume is a Buick And it's people getting into the wrong cars Because you don't know what a Buick looks like That's true, I know what an old Buick looks like Sure

Definitely the old man car Like a LeSabre? Mm-hmm I could draw one from memory So, Brazil Where in Brazil? I went to Sao Paulo Okay

Rio This checks out. Yeah. And. They're all Brazil hot spots. Oh, and there was like a small town called Parachi. Parachi or Parachi, I might be wrong. This is.

You're going to get email being like, that was the name. It's pronounced Parachi. Yeah. Parachute. When we. It's pronounced parachute. Yeah. When we spoke to Giselle, we asked her some hard-hitting questions like, name three cities in Brazil.

And she said the same thing. No, she couldn't do it. The first one she said was Calgary. I was like, oh, brother. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Reykjavik. What was Carnival like? She should have said parachute.

Carnival was amazing. Yeah. So, it's like, I don't know. I didn't know much about it. I don't know anything about it.

When is it? March? February? March. It's ladies in giant headdresses? Yeah. It's almost like, it's

like a, just a parade, right? Okay. And. Beads? Or is that Mardi Gras? It's like, it's like

costumes. It's like very like elaborate. It's at the same time as Mardi Gras. It's like costumes. It's very elaborate. It's at the same time as Mardi Gras. It's right before Lent. It's like the big headdress circuit. Like you go, you hit... Oh, it's...

It's in Mardi Gras. Then you just hang out... Coachella. Yeah. Then you just hang out in Vegas the rest of the year. Picking up a spare... What are the ladies in Vegas called that do the- Showgirls?

Showgirls, yeah. I think I'm- You're thinking of the movie Showgirls? Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, Burlesque, that's the movie I'm thinking of. Oh, right. Chicago? Yeah, Chicago.

Chicago. So what do you do? You just stand on the street and get drunk and watch the parade go by? Yeah, you can do that. You can watch the parade. But there's like pre-carnival like carnival. Okay. So, which is like smaller streets.

It's a parking lot. Party. Like it's like a smaller street party. Okay. You just follow this like loud like sort of like float that plays like one song down one street. And you just like dance and like drink. Wow. Yeah, it was awesome awesome what song would you pick oh probably um rhythm is gonna get you oh yeah that's a good one that's a good that's a good uh pied piper song yeah yeah so you just followed a float on faith

that it wasn't leading you somewhere dangerous well hey guys it was just me We find if we drive through every neighborhood A couple people will just follow us It was a tinted float Yeah And they were playing the Imperial March And it was very ominous

And this guy's saying Are you new to Brazil? Are you? Yeah, you were Yeah, I was Did you Where did you stay? Did you were. Yeah, I was. Did you, where did you stay? Did you stay in a hotel, Airbnb? Airbnb.

Okay. Hotel, motel, holiday. Yep. Stayed in a Brazilian motel. Yeah, how come no rap songs have mentioned Airbnb? Like, I'm sure you can get some really nice ones. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

like i'm sure you can get some really nice ones yeah oh yeah although it would if you were a rapper that was kind of trying to be a bit braggadocious and then you were talking about like braggadiculous yeah well that as well uh you know if you're on airbnb you're looking to save a little money no no you can go you could like i found the nicest place on airbnb i found the most expensive oh like a place like you guys couldn't afford yeah and then i got a five star rating or however it worked do you hear about there was a a family in uh calgary that had an airbnb and they like had threw a rager yeah like destroyed the house what was it a family or was it like it was a family who rented it out. And then, yeah, it turned into a crazy sex party. Wow.

How did they know it was a sex party? Because there were condoms everywhere. Well, that's... And they had to bring in the hazmat team. There was, like, apparently the couch was, like, just crust. Mm-hmm. It was just crust. Mm-hmm.

It's a big, crusty couch. It's my favorite kids' show. Big, crusty Kouch My favorite kids show Big Krusty Kouch What time is it by the slimy clock on the wall Here on Big Krusty Kouch Yeah, no, I Like at least clean up after your sex party Oh yeah

Absolutely Or put down a shower curtain I think they were out to to not clean up your fucking run yeah yeah uh dine and dash sure yeah um have you ever dined and dashed no but i've thought about it every you think about you know i mean like you're eating and you're like i could dine and dash right now yeah sometimes if i'm sitting in a restaurant and I can see the front door, I think like how much, you know, like how much would it take for me to get away with this? Yeah, I just can't. I won't do it.

No, me neither. I won't do it, but I do think about it. You could pay me and I won't do it. Sometimes I'm like, I just want to get out of here and the waitress won't give me my check. That's true. It's like you leave me a little recourse. And so that's why I usually do down and down. Sometimes it happens like the service is great all throughout the meal and then they just

forget about you when it's time to get rid of you. What do you think that is? I actually had that today. It does not make any sense because it's like you get the money, you keep me happy. Yeah. So I'm like, I tip you well. And then you get to turn the table over and bring in more customers. Sometimes I feel like servers will, I don't know, if like, if I'm on a date or like I'm with my girlfriend.

Or on a date with someone else. Or on a date with someone else. Yeah. With my other friends. And you're like, here's an extra 10 to keep it discreet. Don't Instagram me and my friend. They come back and the service is great, but when I'm like, I don't know, alone, they're just like, oh, this person won't tip much.

Oh. And they don't. Because you're not sure. What are you looking up there on the phone? I'm trying to find the most expensive Airbnb. Airbnb. What do you got so far? i uh i haven't found it okay while you find it while you find it one of the airbnb's uh that i stayed at was a tree house what it was like yeah it was

like uh so it was the city or the town of parachi and parachute please parachute okay sorry uh town of Parachy and, uh, parachute, okay. Sorry. Uh, is your mixed skin? That's not Brazilian. No, but you know, keep going. Um, they, yeah, it was like a couple that had land and they had tree houses and you could like rent them from Airbnb. So like, how did you get up into the ladder?

Well, it was, it was like, it was like around a tree. Like, you know what I mean? Like it was like a house around a tree and they called it the tree house. Yeah, but that's. But it's still a tree house. Yeah. And it was made of wood and, and like. So like you walked in, there's a tree in the middle of the house?

Yeah. Sort of like that. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. It was cool. That's super cool.

Yeah, it was awesome. What, were there weird animals? Yeah. So in the, in the morning you could, you could feed monkeys. Like monkeys apparently come to where you dine. When do the monkeys feed you? That's what I want. I want where the monkeys show up and feed you in the morning.

We were disappointed we didn't see any monkeys. But I saw a tarantula for the first time. Out in the wild. Yeah. We were looking at a bug and we were like, oh, dude, check out this huge spider. oh dude check out this this huge like spider and my friends like standing over there like guys i found a crazier spider we turn around there's a big tarantula walking towards us and then he says guys i found another one he's wearing a spider costume yeah look what i'm wearing to the wedding i'm gonna going to ruin their special day. Oh man, his Spider-Man costume.

Like a kid that refuses to wear anything but... You told me I could wear this. So in all the wedding photos, there's one guy who's not even that close to them. There's some stubborn kids that were like, you'll see wedding albums

like some kid dressed up as a princess or or like oh yeah that's i think that's fine yeah so funny that's adorable but this is just as an adult doing it would just be the first anything to get the kid to just like behave and long enough to come to the thing yeah like yeah you can wear the your crazy outfit yeah would you be like hey spider-man doesn like, hey, Spider-Man doesn't do that, okay? Spider-Man doesn't do that. Mm-hmm. Yeah. No, that's true. Shame the kid?

Once you're dressed up like a character, you're in the role. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And then if your kid dresses up like Batman, you'll be like, Batman's parents are dead. So you figure this out for yourself.

Superman. You go in that phone booth, you stay there that phone at the wedding oh we're getting married at the y code name for time out um here is the uh uh here's what i've found all right i'm excited because i have no idea what the most expensive In this city of Vancouver There are Two homes that are $2,000 or more a night One is a

Luxury estate on a private lake For $2,245 Holy shit That looks like the White House It does look like the White House And then the other one. Wow. Is it called the blank house?

Or like the other White House? What this estate is? Yeah, I don't know. I think it's just sort of like. Yeah, it is exactly the White House. It's called Groveland Estate. That would be funny to post on Airbnb that it was just all photos of the White House.

Barack Obama's in there. And then you're like, this is the main bedroom, it's the Lincoln bedroom or whatever. Or like the Vatican. Yeah. And then you're like, special offer, if you book it today. At the Vatican, can you? Yeah, the Vatican's large. Yeah, yeah.

Are you allowed to take pictures? I thought you couldn't. From the outside. Like inside. Well, the Vatican's large Yeah, yeah But are you allowed to take pictures? I thought you couldn't From the outside Like inside Well, I don't know I'm sure they've But there are photographs Okay, yeah, yeah

Just reuse the pictures? Yeah, like you're not taking pictures You're not going into the Oval Office I'm thinking about this being a huge library plan Yeah, yeah, yeah You're going next level You want it to be like Bad pictures from inside the White House yeah yeah yeah you're going next level oh you want you want it to be like bad pictures

like bad real estate photos uh this one that definitely looked like you used the iphone uh pan panorama but it's a little off yeah like there's a dog and that's just like or like someone is morphed a little bit yeah yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's a dog that looks like it's like a super long body. Oh man. Um, this is a, uh, uh, $2,000. Okay. Um, and the, the headline is a waterfront house for films or photo shoot. Oh, there you go.

So they're expecting a sex party. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That, well, I think if you have a mansion, that's the least you can expect. Yeah. Yeah. Sex party or wedding. What are you going to, I think if you have a mansion, that's the least you can expect. Yeah. Sex partying or wedding. What are you going to

take photos of your wedding? You got to take photos of the sex party. Yeah, absolutely. Or it could be a zany adventure, like the house is so big that oh no, we rented out half to a sex party and half to a wedding. A wedding could be a front for a sex party.

Oh yeah. Someone's the bride and groom. A wedding-themed sex party. That's pretty good. Because then the photographer doesn't feel out of place. The naked photographer. Oh, man. Oh, yeah. What sex party themes have worked in the past?

Oh, zombie apocalypse. You know, like we're all boarded in together or like uh disney disney princesses yeah the last people on earth one person just gets eaten by 20 people if you know what i mean hey hey hey um there was uh i was talking to my roommate Uh Today and Or last night And he said

I said uh What are you up to What's up for the week And he said I'm going to an escape room Tomorrow I just went to an escape room Did you really

Yeah Cause this concept I don't get it I just went to one last night What Really Yeah How did this happen

Did you Are you friends with Graham's roommate Maybe Uh No I don't think so No It is Uh Where was it last night. Really? Yeah. How did this happen? Are you friends with Graham's roommate? Maybe. No, I don't think so. Where was it? Was it out in Burnaby? Richmond. Was it $12? I don't know. Someone else paid for it on Groupon. This is the crazy

thing. I thought, okay, there's going to be one escape room. So you guys know what an escape room is. Do you know what it is? I do not know. Let's see if I can piece it together through guessing. Here we go. Is it in any way related to sensory deprivation? No. Is it...

I don't know. Maybe for some people. Is it like a panic room? What's a panic room? It's like the movie Panic Room with Jodie Foster. Oh, okay. Where somebody escapes from danger. I, yeah. I've seen it. If your home is invaded,

you have a room that you go and hide in that no one can get in. Or that's where you, you know, shame eat. I'm going to say no. Graham?

I don't. I only know what my roommate told me about now. Okay, okay. No, it's not a panic. Yeah. A thousand more guesses. Is it like a room

that you have to escape from? Is it like filled with blood or foam? No, it's like you've got to figure out what? Riddles? Are you with a team? So we went in there thinking, well, I'd been to one before, but we went in there and my friends thought that it was going to be like, oh, it's

it's story driven you got to go through like like a murder mystery yeah sort of like and there's different themed rooms like there's a scary room like you have to figure out like who murdered this person there's like one that's like you got to figure out who murdered this other person you're just like god uh this is getting repetitive but you think that it's going to be more like a story-driven thing. Like you follow the, like, what time was this person here? And then you look at the times where the train was taken. And then you try the code, you know? But, like, it's very, like, look at your surroundings.

Be like, this is no murder. It's a suicide. Try everything. Like, just try random numbers you see. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah. And it's just like, one lock will unlock another uh you know lock and you'll open this chest and be able to unlock this door so why is everyone going on monday nights to an escape room i don't know but that was the crazy thing was i thought okay well there's some know, like there would be a laser tag place in your city.

One. There would be one laser tag place. Or at least laser tags have been around long enough that like, oh, I've heard of that. So I will also open a laser tag place. But escape rooms are the latest thing. There's like a dozen of them. They're easy to make. Yeah.

Yeah. So what you go into, it's. Easy to make. Yeah. Honestly, the budget in that place was not good. So what do you... You go into the room. Describe it to us, because I have no idea.

Okay, so they get your belongings. I already don't like this. They take your phone. They're like, okay, you can't use your phone to search up anything. Right. And they put that away and then they they like take you to a room why would you bother if you go to escape room i figured it out it was on my phone you just google this particular escape room yelp reviews um and then yeah they take you into the

room and they're like okay this is the door you came in from. Use your surroundings, use what clues you have, and they give you sort of like a storyline of what has happened. But is it a room that, is it just like a dark room? Or it's just a room? Just a room. Okay. Yeah, and it could be different themes to the room, like a Shakespearean one or like a detective-looking,

like film noir-looking room. So this room that you went in with your friends, what did it look like? It was in Paris. Oh, yeah. It looked like a bad photo of the inside of the White House. So you're in... Escaping from the White House would be cool.

Yeah. Escape from the White House. Well, so, okay, so you're in this Paris room. It's like a what A hotel room What was the name of that White House movie A White House Down No the other one

White House Up Omega is Upon us Alpha House Olympus has fallen Yeah yeah yeah White House Party This Paris room

Was a bedroom Or what type of room was it It was like It was It was a lot in one room It was like a street There was a bedroom or what type of room was it? It was a lot in one room. It was like a street. There was a river on the side. What the fuck?

There was a bridge. A big couch shaped like a croissant. A mime standing in the corner. That's a big crusty couch. So it's a whole scene. It's like a mini golf course. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. It's exactly like a mini golf course. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.

It's exactly like a mini golf course. We're going to have to golf our way out. So then were all the clues in French? No. But you had to, at one point, you had to know your French colors. What, like red, white, and blue? Yeah, yeah. Oh, wow. Okay. So what was what was that you walked in was there a dead

body no so what was it was like oh it was so weird i wasn't listening like is the main thing when you show up is it like uh the last people never escaped yeah or is there any kind of stakes to it like or is it just like... Oh, you're timed. Okay. So you're timed. It's like 45 minutes. 45 minutes? Yeah. But, oh man, it's so hard.

If you get out... Oh, really? Do you get it for free or something like that? No. You just have to leave early. Yeah, yeah, exactly. The hour you had blocked off. Well, I don't know.

Maybe some other places give you like, you know, discount on the next one. Sure. Something like that. Yeah, come into our Russian room. And then it's just the smaller room inside another. So it was really hard? Like what? Yeah, because we thought it was going to be storyline based.

So we're like following everything just exactly. Oh, and none of it mattered? Yeah, you sort of have to just look around. Was there an actor? Like, oh, I wish. Oh, this is stupid Americans.

So it was, you had to open a couple of like chests on this table. Okay. And then you had to open a door

to get to whatever was back there. We didn't know first and I was like hoping there was going to be a person back there. Yeah, yeah. Like a monster?

Yeah. Here's the baguette. And then you have to eat it. Maybe there's a key inside. Eat the baguette. There's a key inside. Be careful. Don't chip your teeth.

And then after that, you open the gate of the, like a little bridge they had made. And then you can walk across the bridge and get like, open the door and walk out. Okay. Then you've escaped. But what did you have to figure out? It sounds like it was all there for you. You just had to look around a lot and open everything. Yeah.

Like everything was, uh, so we found, uh, am I giving it away? I guess I haven't said the place's name. Oh, it's fine.

I'm never going to go. Yeah. I'm also not going to go. Oh, and no one's listening anymore yeah people people tuned out after no your french colors something that people could have spoiled yeah of course well could someone then go out go to this thing and be like don't send me to the french room yeah yeah yeah that's what i'm saying yeah yeah because i've it's i've already had it

spoiled for me yeah yeah you try to to find codes, numbers in documents or newspapers that are lying around and stuff like that. But I've heard of one that's more of a budget to it. This place looks so dingy. Oh, okay. like this place looks good yeah oh okay yeah so i've heard of a place where you have to like sort of connect a wire that like it's dark like it's the lights are off and you have one lantern and you could turn that lantern by like holding hands and like touching not a light socket but like an electrical source sure but the one we went to they were like please don't touch or poke uh the sockets they're real oh okay huh weird wouldn't that be cool though like if you had to like figure some physics out

too yeah i guess i mean i'm not big into figuring things out go-karting that's my yeah yeah yeah how many people did you go with have we asked you this 100 times three three okay it's like could you go in there just with like 15 people let you go with? Have we asked you this a hundred times? Three. Three. Okay. It's like, could you go in there just with like 15 people? Just go there yourself? Oh yeah. Go alone. I just need somewhere to escape. I just want to go to France for 45 minutes.

They lean up against the door just to hear you crying. Escape womb room. Yeah. Yeah. That'd be cool. It's all cozy and hot. Yeah. You have to wear a diaper.

Yeah, you have to wear a diaper They're playing like Mozart On the belly For the kid Yeah, and then you have to read Newspapers in the womb to figure out the codes To get out The baby gazette Oh, I should break my water pouch

Or whatever The fetus gazette Did you ever play those text adventure video games? No. Where it was just like, you have a, like, there's a paragraph that tells you, describes the room you're in, and you have to, like, type in, look around, and it'll say, oh, there's a lighter and a glass of water. Drink the water.

Oh, you're, you poisoned yourself. Okay, try this again. Use the lighter. You poison yourself Okay try this again Use the lighter You let yourself up there Is this a game where you're an idiot No matter what Yeah it's a game It's called Idiot

Who reads Idiot 2 you're an idiot still You're still an idiot Oh man I do like a sequel Yeah these escape rooms I couldn't Cause yeah he said it was $12 To go in this one

And I guess you just need a room Yeah That's it Yeah Maybe we could do an escape room Is there a licensed escape rooms? Cause that would be Probably

That would happen Probably Oh yeah Yeah you have to sign waivers and stuff Saying what? Like if you die it's not their fault I don't know happen Probably Oh yeah Yeah you have to sign waivers and stuff Saying what? Like if you die it's not their fault I don't know Oh yeah

Oh yeah if you hit that anvil that's hanging from a rope And it lands on your head Yeah don't write You're an idiot But could you go on Yelp? There's gotta be reviews of these different escape rooms Oh probably Yeah

I've never heard of this thing And now there's two of them Yeah at least reviews of these different escape rooms. Oh, probably. I've never heard of this thing, and now there's two of them. At least. And then there's also the fancy one that he's just heard about. Where you have to touch a soccer. Do you want to spend like 50 bucks on escaping a room?

No. I want to spend no money by not escaping my house. And be unlocked. By having access to the kitchen. But you've done it twice. What happens if you don't escape?

Can you just be like, I quit. Let me go home. Or do people die? No, they don't. I guess, yeah, they just open the door when your time's up. Oh, you just open the door when your time's up. Oh, you have a time limit. They go, your time's up. Your time's up. The last crew did it

in 20 minutes. And you get three tips, like you could like buzz them for three tips. And they've got a camera up in there. And who's working there? Just in case it doesn't turn into like a sex escape. That's totally what people would do. Oh, yeah.

There was no camera. Because then you can be like, we tricked you. This is how we escape. We got out of here in record time by having sex immediately. Who's working there? Is it like bored teens

or is it middle-aged dudes? Yeah, like young, like older teens. Uh-huh. Older teens. You're 19s? You're 18s? Yeah, like 20 teens. 20 teens.. Yeah, older teens. Your 19s, your 18s. Yeah, like 20 teens. 20 teens.

Oh, 19s, yeah, yeah. Sure. Fairly legal. Wow. Fairly legal teens. 20 weens. Okay. 20 tweens.

Keep going. 20 trains. He's not even just starting. He's just warming up. Oh, yeah. Well, I can do it, too, if you's just warming up. Oh, yeah. Well, I can do it, too, if you're not saying words. 20 fleens. Good one, Dave.

Oh, man. Well, Dave, what's going on with you, man? Oh, boy. Well, this past weekend, well, I guess it's now, I don't know how obvious it's been that we've been banking episodes. Well, it should be to the...

To the trained ear. Yeah, yeah. But Graham, you're going to be out of town for most of the summer. Yeah. So we're banking episodes. So this one doesn't come out until June. Oh, yeah. For your plugs.

Get that ready. Okay, okay. So, yeah. Get that ready. Okay. Okay. Um, uh, so yeah, about that, um, this past weekend we did our live episode. Yes.

At the Rio theater. Yeah. Thanks to everyone who came out for that. It was a roaring success. It was fun. Yeah. It was fun. And it's a nice,

that it's a nice venue when it's all filled up like that. That was a very, very much felt like, uh, what it must be like to be on The Muppet Show. Yeah? It was great. I saw it. Yeah, you were there. Yeah.

And you were there. Yeah. You weren't there. Yeah, I wasn't there. I was locked in an escape room with a 24-hour limit. Oh, man. That's like a $2,000 Airbnb. Yeah.

Just napped for 18 hours of it. Panic for the last six. Um, yeah. So the show went off without a hitch for the most part. Yeah. I can think of one hitch. Oh, sure. That last dude.

But, uh, yeah. Dude was good until the very end. Although I heard he was a drunk guy in line at the concession. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, he wasn't bothering the show. No. Yeah.

Yeah. And then at the end of the show, he was a weirdo. He was a weirdo. Yeah. Bo Beardo. 20 fleens. So, yeah, that's about it. Like, I've been running around all weekend. 20 fleens. So yeah, that's about it. Like I've been running around all weekend.

Oh yeah. It was Mother's Day the day after that. And you had to do Mother's Day stuff? You had to go wake your mom up early? No, I'm now the... Oh yeah, you're the husband of a mother. Husband of a mother. Yeah, first Shumka in-house Mother Day Mother Day, yeah

Really? Congrats Yeah, that's fun Yeah, I mean, thank you Yeah, and pretty soon Father's Day Yeah, fun So what did you do for the first to fish Mother's Day? Here's what we did

We went to my sister's Where all my family was meeting up. We ate you know. Triscuits. Triscuits and what not. Oh no at the beginning of the day I was like let's see how late I can let Abby sleep in. Oh that's nice.

So 8.45. Yeah nice leisurely sleep. But I had to wake her up. I wanted to open presents Couldn't sleep all night And so, yeah And then we went for a walk And then we went to my sister's

And we all ate like, you know Cinnamon buns Okay And drank coffee and ate fruit salad Very civilized And, you know, traded babies. Everyone grabbed a baby. He square danced with babies. They have trouble with

do-si-do because their hands don't quite fold. But they're so good at hip-to-sashay. Is do-si-do you have to fold your hands over? Yeah, you go like that. And then you walk around the person. Yeah, back to back. Yeah. Can you not just have your hands at your side no no no because then they're all sorts of uh teen pregnancies uh yeah and then the rest of the day was spent uh just holding on to the baby and

playing with the baby so abby could go do things oh so she had like Mother's Day out. Well, in. She sewed. Okay. Yeah, nice. Yeah. And then I made her a favorite meal. Nachos. Oh, I was going to say ice cream. That's my favorite meal. How's your

nacho game? My nacho game's good. I'm the best I know. Really? Well, how's yours? Mine's game's good. I'm the best I know. Really? Well, how's yours? Mine's not very good. Okay. No, but is it as good as like Foundations? I don't go to restaurants that eat nachos.

But have you heard about like Foundations nachos? Tell me about them. It's a vegetarian restaurant. Yeah, but their nachos are like the best, right? In the city? You're saying that like we would agree. Yeah. You guys know, right? They're fine. The thing is

is like, I don't know, when somebody says like nachos are good like they can only be bad. You can't go wrong, but. Yeah, like the only time that I will accept a review of nachos is like, no, that wasn't very good. Those weren't very good nachos. But if you say those were great nachos, I was like, yeah, they were nachos. Right, right, that wasn't very good. Right. Those weren't very good nachos. But if you say those were great nachos,

I was like, yeah, they were not. Right, right, right, right. Nachos aren't my favorite.

No, ice cream's your favorite. Ice cream's my favorite. Um, but yeah, no, it's, uh,

like, I don't know, I don't know what to tell you. I put, I, here's what I do. I prepare the chicken separately. Okay.

And then I prepare the beans separately. Then I cook both those things yeah then i put them on top of nachos and then i also put cheese on them and then i cook it then i take it all out and i sprinkle uh tomato on it yeah that's about it do you do a guacamole of course yeah well there you go and you make it yourself yeah with love secret ingredient yeah i want nachos now yeah okay yeah i want your nachos now we're all out i use the tostitos scoops okay that way i can uh make sure that every nacho gets a uh a bit of each yeah there you go yeah that's pretty good yeah no i've got a system your nachos game is fire yeah yeah yeah it's fire i love learning new slang from him

yeah like what what's a jaden smith but you don't know what stuff he's just making up on the fly i know he made up 20 fiends or whatever 20 fleens no that was you you made up 20 fleens um no i i can tell he's making stuff up on the fly uh but he seemed to know a lot about jaden smith yeah sure he's this generation's will smith did you follow jaden smith on twitter before he died oh yeah what did he write he would say like how do we even know that mirrors aren't people yeah just like stuff like Deep, deep philosophical shit. Yeah, he's like, what are trees even? And then you're like, I don't know.

I guess they're like, you know, big thick sticks. Yeah, in the ground. They won't sit around like they own the place. I was going to say walk around. It would just hashtag I'm vibing. Good day today, I'm vibing. Who can we rank all of the Smiths? Uh, Jada Pinkett.

Number one. Number one. Yeah. Jada Pinkett Smith. Um. From her band Wicked Wisdom. Yeah. Mr. and Mrs. Smith.

That movie. Is that a rock band? Number two. Yeah. That's a rock band, right? It was her heavy metal band. Yeah, heavy metal band. But they would only.

What about that? They would only play on like Ellen. Really? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Look at Jada Pinkett Smith. No, but like before that,

where did they play? South by Southwest. No, they didn't exist before that. She formed this band as a famous lady. Really? Yeah.

But she was in a rock band, I thought, like when she was young. Maybe when she was young, but then she... She's on a metal band. Yeah, she fronted the Sex Pistols

when she was young. Jada and the Sex Pistols is what they originally called. Jaden or Willow? Who's better? Oh, Willow. Jaden. He's the great thinker of our time.

What about that other kid that Will Smith had with someone else who was in the Just for Two of Us video? Just for Two of Us? Just for Men, the two of us. It was about beard dying? Just for two of us. We are making reservations.

Just for two of us. We will dine. Fun. 20 fleens. We will dine or we will die? Dine. Because he's making reservations at the castle in the sky just for two of us now i know what 20 tween could mean okay 20 tween could mean like

you're in your early 20s but you're acting like a teen yeah or a tween or tween or tween but i had a roommate i think you need to work on your definition. Okay. I had a roommate who believed for the, well, believed, but said for the first six months that you're 20, you're still a teenager. You're tweenteen. Tweenteen. There you go. That's not bad.

That seems like a thing that could have caught on. If, you know, somebody hip said it, Hugh Downs, if Hugh Downs said it on 2020. On tweenteen, tweenteen? Tw said it on 2020. On 2020? 12 teen. What is that? Oh, the last six months of being 12?

Yeah. Where you're already like, you know, smoking and drinking. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where you've already got,

what can you get at 13? Like donate blood or something? Is there anything? Oh, you could see a PG-13 movie. Yep. Oh,

you could be a hockey referee. movie. Yep. Oh, yeah. You could be a hockey referee. You could watch Charlie's Angels. You could get into Charlie's Angels. Oh, man. Yeah, you could probably. There's more babysitting opens up to you. Oh, for sure.

Yeah, well, maybe you can take a CPR course or something when you're 13. It's all boring stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, you get bar mitzvahed. Oh, yeah. Congratulations. Thank you. Or bar mitzvahed oh yeah oh yeah congratulations thank you or um that mitzvah is that that's a lady lady it's a lady girl yeah it's a yeah and then i think that's it yeah and then i mean in some countries that would mean when you're 13 that you already have like a full-time job and you're like getting a house of your own at 13 we're talking in

our luxurious western world yeah where kids don't get to get their own house until they're 18 and then you get a house yeah we're we're literally the chuck E. Cheese of countries because it's where a kid can be a kid mm-ica where kids can be kids true yeah very true like everywhere else like get a job join the army you're 13 you're moved up to uh lieutenant in the army yeah take that europe oh maybe 13 is the drinking age in some European countries. Oh, absolutely. The Eastern Bloc. Yeah. Yeah.

I'm sorry. I'm going to have to ID you. You look 12. Do you know, like, I think it was like 2008, 2004, 2008 was when Russia officially recognized beer as an alcoholic. Oh, yeah. Drink like it was just sold like soda. Before that beer recognized you as an alcoholic.

Yeah, exactly. I mean mean i heard a rumor uh um so yeah that's what's going on with me it's great first mother's day boom yeah milestone thank you yeah hooray well actually last year, Abby kind of expected a present when she was pregnant. Nope. And I was like, nope. You're going to cross that finish line. And then, to rub it in for me, she got me a Father's Day present. Ah! Was it, did she put her hands in cement and then give it to you?

And then smashed me over the head with it. Rubbed it in. Yeah. Wow. What's the matter with you i uh on the same kind of uh scope uh my parents were in town over the weekend they came to the live show and uh always when uh whenever my parents visit i uh get to do a touristy thing that I don't, you know, a lot of times I don't even know exists in the city. So you went to an escape room with your parents? We went to something not unlike an escape room.

We went to something called Fly Over Canada. Oh! Yeah. That's like an IMAX? What? It's like, it's kind of like an IMAX. I think it's in the old Iax theater down uh the water place yeah and uh it's like it was uh i guess it was shot with like a camera on a helicopter or something

like a drone yeah no like a helicopter but like a 360 degree camera yeah something yeah and you go uh you buy a ticket and then you go and wait in a line. And I was like, why are we doing this? Was it on Mother's Day? No, it was on the same day as the podcast. Oh. Saturday. Oh, no, it was on Friday.

It was on Friday. So there was like a surprising amount of people there, given that it was still a weekday. And then you go in this room that's not the Fly Over Canada room. It is padding. Because the Fly Over Canada thing is only like seven minutes long. Oh, okay. So they make you watch this. I thought you meant it was like physically like a padded room.

Yeah. And they're like, now escape from this. Surprise, it's an escape room uh it was just a thing where they showed a film i don't know what the fuck it was it was like uh here's a guy walking through the forest in bc and here's a guy doing parkour in toronto and it just went on and on and like the whole time we were like isn't this is this it is this what we paid money for to watch this film and just stand in this room it was its own commercial were you still yeah it was like its own were you in line at the time was it like no they're like the line you went into this room

and then they closed the doors and the lights went out and then you're not allowed to leave and go into the next room no okay and but we what we also weren't told like, don't worry, this isn't the thing you paid for. How long was this? It was way longer than the ride. It was like 10 or 11 minutes. And the whole time my mom was like, what the fuck? It really was like, okay, we get it. Now somebody's walking in the prairies.

Boy, I'd love to fly over these places and then uh you go in and there's like a thing like you you sit it's kind of like a like a ski lift chair okay how many people in a chair or in the whole ride the whole ride i think there's probably 16 okay like from end to end and uh you put on a seat belt and everything and uh there was the dude i guess sitting next to a dude and he wanted to chat i was like this isn't we're not this isn't gonna be a long flight we're not really going anywhere like he's like how did you hear about this yeah he said do you like this kind of thing and i was like what does that mean i don't know yet yeah i didn't like the thing we just watched if that's what you're asking uh but it was him and he had a couple kids and then his wife and because i

don't like this kind of thing please take my family from me and then uh then it moves and then like it's all around you like it's 360 degrees and like you go over a waterfall and there's like mist that hits you in the face. Oh, does, does, oh, it's like a,

do the, uh, the seats move and stuff? Mm-hmm. Spin around or upside down? They don't go upside down, but it kind of like swoops. Is it called like 5D?

Uh, I don't know. Yeah. How many dicks did you see? Uh, five? Just the guy next to me. It was like,

he was asking, do you like this? You could hear one, you could smell one, you could, you get slapped in the face by one and you get sprayed like mist there you go the whole time his wife i can only assume that they'd never been on a plane before because they were just like going berserk like and i don't know if it was for the kids benefit like this is this is great what we're doing uh but uh they were talking the whole fucking time like just like wow wow really going bananas they do that thing that

you do on a roller coaster where you take your hands off the thing and you put them on your head yeah they were so excited and then was there a moment where they took a picture of you oh yeah there's a moment where you go in where they take a picture and we're like no we're not doing that uh and then uh it's then it's over like super fast and uh like it goes from coast to coast and then then she's like saying the kids like now we're coming And then she's like saying to the kids, like, now we're coming home. And I'm like, come on. The kids know that we didn't ever leave.

But was it impressive? Like, was it fun, good to look at? Yeah, it was fine. Okay. Yeah. But it wasn't as good as they were making it out to be. Like, it was fine. It was good.

You know, at Christmas They do a Santa themed one Really? Mmhmm Yeah I would go to that You know Oh yeah So is it like You're on Santa's sleigh

Going to different countries? I don't know Okay I think they probably Just add the words Ho ho ho Like you hear that In your ear

They spray snow on you Yeah it's just Freezing cold The whole time You're on the ride Yeah Okay There's like a Reindeer that in your ear? They spray snow on you? Yeah, it's just freezing cold the whole time you're on the ride. Yeah. Okay. There's like a reindeer butt in your face. There's Santa being like, so you're into this sort of thing? Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. They were like, I don't know. I don't think this guy's ever been on a sleigh before. They just were so crazy. Like they were more excited about it than the kids, and I don't know if they were trying to upsell it to the kids. But for me, it was like being on a plane because I was sitting next to two people that I hate.

They were just couldn't shut up. They're just so basic. What is that? See, I don't know what that means. No, I know. I'm also snapping, yeah. Yeah. Like, is that like the basic bitch? Is that that thing? No, you know I'm also snapping, yeah Yeah Like, is that like the Like basic bitch?

Is that that thing? No, you're just basic You just like do things that People would do Yeah I don't know Keeners, joiners What do people do?

I'm probably basic No No, I do all sorts of things I don't do anything but Anyhow, you're normcore I don't know about that Am I normcore? have a dad bod yeah i do have a dad bod i've got an i feel like i've got a grant bod advanced dad bod yeah oh man i got bob hoskins buddy that's what i got and he's not using it anymore so he's no longer with us there's the

one person i wanted to meet Yeah Hoskins That was Nima's number five There's Michael Jackson That was my top five Kanye West Chance the Rapper

Jaden Smith And Bob Hoskins Pretty good list Yeah Okay Thank you Yeah Yeah

Mine are Roger Rabbit Jessica Rabbit Yeah Bob Hoskins from Hoover And Roger Rabbit Yeah Those penguins

they'd serve drinks yeah and um i don't know like a famous porno star like like an old-timey porno star from for daddy from roger rabbit no no no just so just a porno star yeah adding the o at the end of porno really like dates you. Yeah. And it really, I don't know,

it just spices it up. Because porn sounds horrible, but porno sounds hilarious. Artistic. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We're like,

you spell it like porn, N-E-U-X. Porn-O. Yeah. I'll have a bottle of porn. Should we move on to overheard?

Sure. All right. Hey, you like T-shirts, right? How about a mug? Are your walls looking a little bare? Visit MaxFunStore.com and cover all of these bases and more. We just added some amazing new shirts and posters. So visit today and outfit your home and torso with the freshest MaxFun merch. MaxFunStore.com.

Ty is a pedantic person. I think when he pronounces these words, it's in a very show-offy way gyro hero sacre bleu sacre bleu airs rock what you are witnessing is real the participants are not actors they are actual litigants with real cases they call in via skype to judge john hodman's court, the real people's court. Now I call you to Judge John Hodgman's internet court. Find it at MaximumFun.org or wherever you download podcasts. Overheard. Overheard's a segment in which we like to share things that we've overheard out there in the world. We always like to start with the guest.

Are you ready, Nima? You were looking off in the distance. I was thinking about one today. All right. But I've overheard a lot of overheards being said to me, like people have overheard things. Sure, sure. Yeah? That's fine.

I don't care about the origin. Come back. There's no rules. There's no committee that'll be. But yeah, we can come back to you. Let's start with Dave. Okay. Here we go.

Mine is weak sauce. This is an overseen and it was like a guy carrying a bunch of flowers. Yeah. He's like a guy delivering flowers oh man i'm like i'm a sentence in and i this is like the worst one we can start again no no no no no no So he's carrying these flowers, waiting for a light to change. So he can deliver flowers. He's a flower delivery man.

Sure. And. Really pulling a fly over Canada here. A lot of matting. And he just takes a big whiff of the flowers. That's it? Yeah, but they're not his to whiff. Those aren't his.

He crossed the line there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you open up the door to a pizza delivery man and he had the lid lifted up and he was smelling your pizza. Like his nose was getting in there. That would be so wrong. We had fun. Yeah, like his nose was getting in there. Yeah. That would be so wrong.

We had fun. Yeah, absolutely. I loved it. Like you're delivering a baby and you're smelling the baby. Yeah, that's not your baby to smell. Oh, well, I mean. Don't bogart the baby. Eventually.

Everyone can get a whiff, but let mama have that first baby smell. Yeah, absolutely. Oh, that first baby smell must be pretty good. No. No, I guess not. I mean, it's pretty. It takes a baby smell must be pretty good. No. No, I guess not. I mean, it's pretty. It takes a couple of days to get good. Yeah.

Well, just remember, it just came out of your butt. I always forget that. Yeah. That baby just fell out of your butt. Right out of the tickets. My overheard comes courtesy of being in a lineup at the bank. Hmm. And, uh, um, did you, uh, I need a change.

Need a change for float for the laugh geller. Oh, right, right, right. And, uh, that's the only place you can get changes. The bank. Oh, you can just, you know, save it up. Yeah. Yeah. Spend some, go get some Twizzlers and get a couple cents back and then go buy more

Twizzlers. And then all of a sudden you have no more float. So many Twizzlers. Dollars and less dollars. Yeah. Can you break those dollars up into dimes? It costs 80 cents. Uh,

and there was a kid, uh, talking on his phone to his friend and I don't know why he would be in trouble for this, but he said, uh, Oh, I'm in so much trouble. Uh, while she was gone, I downloaded all of Ludacris's albums. So I guess it wasn't his, uh, iTunes or what have you. Or internet. Yeah.

Yeah. And I just downloaded everybody's album. Does he have a lot of albums? He's probably got more than two. Yeah. I don't consider him an album artist. Yeah. But, yeah, he was, you got to download any music released by any of the Fast and Furious stars.

Yeah, that's true. That song. It doesn't matter the rock song with the fujis or wyclef uh is that from the first one or the most recent one no it's not from any of the movies but he was in the movie wyclef was in the movie no the rock oh the rock yeah yeah maybe wyclef's in the movie i don't know i've only seen the first one and uh none of the other six is it number seven they're on now yeah i don't tokyo drift i think was the worst one but it i think it's a prequel to the first one isn't it you know what i cannot speak about this no no me neither

all i just don't understand how that became a franchise. I completely don't understand. Well, I understand how it became a franchise. I don't understand how it became a successful franchise. I could see it being like, yeah, we're making the eighth Fast and Furious movie. Okay. Yeah, yeah. I remember when they were making direct-to-DVD. Yeah, Frank Stallone and...

And Crocodile Dundee, whatever his name is. Paul Poulsen. Stallone and Crocodile Dundee, whatever his name is. Yeah, because they're making the fifth one and they'd already written the seventh one or something like that. It was like crazy. It's like, the fifth one's coming out, but the seventh one is the green list. Yeah, but it was somewhere around the fourth one that they were like, you know what?

We're just going to, these are just going to be, we're just going to pound these out. Yeah, but they're going to get bigger. Yeah, crazier and crazier. And the seventh one so far, I've been impressed with. How many times have you seen it? Twice. So far? Yeah.

Have you seen it twice? Yes. Really? Yeah. So once with the. Have you seen all of them? I can't remember if I've seen the second one. Okay.

Too Fast, Too Furious. But you've seen most of them. Yeah, I've seen Tokyo Drift. I've seen the six. Right. So I guess I've seen like Tokyo six and seven. You've seen one and two? One.

I think I've seen one, yeah. Okay. I just can't remember it. It's the one with the- So forgetful. No, it's the one with the cars. They have like- Yeah, they race them. Yeah. Yeah, that's when you meet all cars. They have like. Yeah, they race them.

Yeah. Yeah. That's when you meet all of them. I think. Yeah, I've seen that one. Yeah. That's the one where. Vin Diesel's in it.

Yeah. And they have like lights under the car. Yeah. Yeah. And Paul Walker's in it. Yeah. Nitro. They're souped up.

Yeah. They got nitro. Hubcaps. You got. That's everything in the first one. Yeah. Yeah. The first one, they mostly just introduce you to the's everything in the first one yeah the first one

they mostly just introduce you to the different parts of the car it's like a waiting room until you can get into the souped up

I would like one of the cars to get its own spin off and they create a whole universe like the Marvel universe

where it's like this car goes and has its own like Kirby the love bug it has its own adventures and then comes back and joins the Fast and the Furious for another movie.

Yeah. But it expands, you know, like, we just see one of the mechanics. He has his own sitcom, but it feeds into the bigger storyline. It's weird, because the first one came out in, like, 2001, maybe? Yeah. Like, and they just, it's, the fact that it's, like, over a decade of these movies. Yeah like and they just it's the fact that it's like over a decade of these movies yeah and also that it's like the people like vin diesel paul walker that was what they were famous for like over that time and sort of like luda yeah is he still in it yeah

okay yeah i don't grind it away and jordana brewster and uh what's her name is in it michelle rodriguez yeah and then also is jason statham in he's in the newest one he was in yeah he was in the last one what car does he play he doesn't have he doesn't have a car oh he he's the only guy who takes the bus he's a bad guy i think oh so he drives so he's one of the furious oh i get it now yeah it's against them uh in the uh i saw a guy on a segway the other day yeah i was like look at this loser and then he had crutches and i was like oh yeah that's what a segway is for yeah yeah i'm just so used to the idea of like a guy on a Segway being a doofus. Yeah. I also saw a video of a guy wearing like this modern kind of exoskeleton thing.

And he has never been able to walk before, but now he can walk with like a walker. So that's happening. That's going to be a thing within our lifetime. That people are paralyzed walking around. What's that? I a thing within our lifetime that people are paralyzed. They see him walking around. Uh, what's that? I don't know.

I've never seen Elysium. Is that what it's about? Exoskeletons? Yeah. They sort of have like armor that attaches to their body parts and makes them stronger and able to do like certain functions. Yeah. Yeah.

He's like, he's like a mechanic and he's like working on cars with this, with his hand. And he's like picking up stuff. Is that Matt Damon? Matt Day. Do you have an overheard? Oh, okay, yeah.

I have two. Oh, boy. I finally remembered two. There was one my friend told me about. He went to Jamaica when he was young with his parents. And he was like, oh, man, the lifestyle and, like, the culture there is very chill.

And they're like, it's a totally different, you know, vibe there. And then he went up to the receptionist at the hotel that he was staying at. And the receptionist was, like, leaning back, like, feet on the counter, reading the newspaper. And then he asked the receptionist was like leaning back, like feet on the counter, reading the newspaper and then he asked the receptionist, excuse me, do you know what time it is? And the receptionist just like folded the newspaper down and was like,

it's daytime, mon. I don't think that ever happened. I think your friends put you on. Was it in a tourism commercial? Tourism Jamaica? Expedia Jamaica. Yeah. And then he's like,

the room I checked into hasn't been cleaned. Sorry. This accent's very good. And also the character development. Sorry. Sorry. Are you Frasier? Yeah. very good and also the character development sorry sorry are you fraser yeah but just you know like they just like when is dinner night time right like it's just uh it's too laid back yeah this is this is the version i'm drawing uh what's the Malibu commercial? Is it Malibu? Yeah.

Where there's the traffic jam and it's two cars or the bus is running one minute late. And it's, why? Because Malibu's perfect? No, no, no, no. Because it's on Jamaica. Oh. And it's Malibu drink. Drink.

Just the, everyone in Malibu. Oh, I thought you were talking about a tourism commercial for Malibu. Malibu drink. Drink. Just the, the, everyone in. Oh, I thought you were talking about a tourism commercial for Malibu. Malibu, California. Yeah. And I was like, that would be so specific. Like come to this one part of California. That song by Hole was written about this place. No, it's, do people in California know the California commercials?

Like, like. Oh, there's dumb, like, people say we're a bunch of idiots. Yeah. People say we fuck our sisters. Like, are there commercials about Vancouver tourism that we'll never see? Uh, I did see an ad for Vancouver. Where was I? The riots are actually beautiful beautiful the riots are beautiful this time of year it was somewhere out east i remember seeing a billboard for vancouver and i was like is that what vancouver looks like no they're not advertising my neighborhood that i hang out in but i was like pretty, pretty airbrushed up version of Vancouver.

Now you have a second overheard, I understand. Yeah. Okay, this one was, this one was, so I was at a karaoke bar. Sure. And I put my name in, picked my song, Macy Gray, I Try. Ah, cool.

Yeah. And then when it came up, when it came to my turn, the DJ was like, or the MC was like, all right, up next we got Nima. Get up here, girl. Yep. Yep. My favorite thing about Macy Gray is that she had that hit, and obviously whoever was uh doing uh whatever

business for the spider-man movie was like yep she is still gonna be a huge star by the time this comes out we're gonna get her for a bargain basement price because she's just on the ascent of her career you can meet her yeah yeah and then uh then you see her in that movie it's so distracting because you're like why is Macy Gray playing this giant concert? It doesn't make sense. It's Macy Gray with Stan Lee. Stan Lee on bass. Yeah.

And they're like, look at that green garblin. They couldn't get the right. That would be the best. She just couldn't get her line right. That was the best take. Yeah. It's the Grey Gosselin. No, Macy.

Macy. They were shooting that Deadpool movie here. Yep. Oh, yeah. Local hunk, Ryan Reynolds. Yeah, and they shut down the viaduct for two weeks. Mm-hmm. And I had to drive over it.

Did you see him? No, because they closed it every day at three. Like, they stopped shooting at three, and so people driving home could drive over it. Right. stopped shooting at three and so people driving home could drive over it right and but like it was just one lane driving through and it was the slowest traffic which it didn't need to be because everyone was slowing down to see a bunch of film stuff that had been packed away for the night yeah yeah oh william f white truck he apologized on twitter oh did he did he? Yeah, he was like, sorry for the delay, Vancouver. You're my home city. And 21 words.

Check out my 21 words, Ryan. Is that the new Twitter instead of 140 characters? Oh, is it 140? Yeah. No, it's 21 words. You're playing blackjack with language. Now, we also

have overheards sent in to us from people around the world. If you want to send one in you can send it in to spy at maximumfun.org The first one comes from Hunter. Didn't say where from. Just Hunter. Do you think it's the old

Fred Dreyer show? Where he was a cop i was on saturday nights did he was he a balding guy yeah it was a yeah balding cop i don't remember i never watched balding cop baldman uh is that his name fred dryer fred dryer he was his his uh dad was a clothes dryer yep pretty good uh so this is a friend's four year old was mashing up nursery rhymes and said humpty dumpty sat on the wall hickory dickory watched him fall he was there and he didn't do anything It was an inside job Yeah Hickory dickory isn't a person though right It's just a

It's just slang Two words Yeah hickory dickory Humpty dumpty sat on a wall And all the bitches crawled Wait again What Is humpty dumpty like

Some kind of Metaphor Isn't it a metaphor Yeah a metaphor for some historical Goofball It was Humpty Dumpty, like some kind of metaphor. Isn't it a metaphor? Yeah, a metaphor for some historical goofball. It was. It was some guy that was like, and it was some policy. You know what I mean? It was like some fucking thing like that that doesn't really come through in the nursery. I wonder if there would be anything like that, that had a definite meaning in our time,

but in the future, people will be like, this is just a song about how many roads you have to walk down. Hot Cheetos and Takis. Yeah. No one, no one will know what Hot Cheetos and Takis were and how you can't get enough of them.

Oh, that's a good song. Still, still the best song of the summer of 2012. Pretty good. Maybe 2013. Was it 2012? Do you remember Hot Cheetos and Takis?

Yeah, it was 2013. We even cast our mind back that far. I'm so bad with remembering dates. Yeah, it's all mashed up into one, one, one linear day. Pretty good.

Uh, this one comes from George in Chicago. Uh, what we'll post it up in the corner of an Ohio motel continental breakfast. My best man. And I furiously, uh, scribble away their speeches for the wedding day. Across the room.

A young boy asked, Grandpa, if you're so good at hunting, how come we don't have any squirrels or chipmunks on our wall? Fair question. Yeah. Why do you only get the big targets that are easy to hit? I wish he overheard the grandpa's response. Oh, that's the scary twist.

There was no grandpa. Oh. No, the grandpa's response. Uh, oh, that's the scary twist. There was no grandpa. Oh. Um, no, grandpa's response was probably, oh, shut up. Yeah. Shut up, I'm trying to write this speech. I'm getting married for the eighth time. I, I too am getting married. Yeah.

This is the all wedding continental breakfast. Is there a better breakfast? He was just like, because I couldn't figure out how to bury the bodies or just like how to taxidermy yeah it's too small too small no it's not too small you can do it but the bullet just does so much damage yeah you're like here we go oh no i just blew it to smithereens uh gentle with the bullet i I think I used to edit a TV show about small businesses and it had to, it was like government funded.

And so it had to like, it had all these catches and it had to have so many English speaking people and so many French speaking people. And there were the french speaking businesses were much harder to find and so the the like qualification for what makes this a business was a lot lower right and so i believe we did a french taxidermy guy it was just like you're like you put on the under his name owner. Yeah, it was basically like, look at all these, look at this hall of horrors I've got here. This hall of horror.

Yeah, I've sold two of them. That makes me a small businessman. Yeah, I sold one to a creep. And one to this kid That liked squirrels This last one comes from Dustin In Regina, Saskatchewan After this is standing in line

At Walmart And this old gentleman and his grandson Were in front of me speaking to each other In fluent French After a long time in line a little lady In front of them turned around and said you're speaking french eh and that was it yeah big gulps huh yeah

uh yes all right yeah it probably doesn't happen with other languages. Like. Yeah, where you would say something. Yeah, like, you guys speak in Chinese? Yeah, Cantonese, huh? Cantonese or Mandarin? One of those two. Anyways, see you later. Good luck with it. You speak in Swahili, hey?

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Oh, I'd love to stumble upon a couple speaking Swahili. Yeah, that'd be sweet. That'd be a refreshing change of pace, because I don't know what Swahili sounds like. Or what pace it's at. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's true.

I know you're in a good Swahili restaurant when everyone's speaking Swahili. Yeah. Is that the rule of thumb? Like, you know you're in a good whatever country's restaurant if everybody in there is speaking that country's language? Or they're from that country, yeah. Oh, yeah. Or is it like, we're not all talking because the food's so good? Ah, yeah.

Yeah. I mean. And the chef is so fat. You need that as well. You don't want to see like a skinny chef lurking around. Even I won't eat this stuff, and it's free. I'd rather starve. Yeah, there's no restaurant called the Skinny Chef.

Like a logo of a super skinny guy. The emaciated chef, the emaciated gourmet. Now, in addition to overheards that are written in, we also accept your phone calls. If you would like to phone us, our phone number is 206-339-8328. Like these people here. Hey, Dave and Graham and possible guests. This is Ben calling with an overheard. I was walking down the street in

Santa Barbara, California recently, and there were some people out on their porch. It seemed to be a party going on in the house. One of them had a dog with them, and one guy said to the other, whoa, whoa, whoa, you can't give carrots to dogs. Carrots are bad for dogs. And the other guy said, why are they bad? And and the first guy said it makes their eyes too good yeah exactly then they can see in two hd black they can see your bullshit yeah yeah yeah they can see right through you it's like i have a treat no you don't yeah yeah you're phony but not gonna shake your hand yeah you're just pretending you had a good day at work. Why would you pretend for your dog?

I had a great day today. I hope the dog doesn't know. My boss urinated on me. Oh, the dog will be able to smell it. Just play it cool. Act confident when you get home. I love my job. What a great day at work.

Anyways. You're a good dog. Here's your next phone call. Hi, Dave and Graham. This is Ellen from Oakland, California. And I'm calling with an overseen. I was driving around Oakland and I saw a license plate that had the letters

BVR dash B-O-D which I can only guess is Beaverbot? Yeah. Big flat tail. Yeah, big belly. Big flat dick.

Giant buck teeth. Yeah. I'm a real beaver bod. Yeah, water resistant hair. Beaver bod. Chomping on wood. Yeah. Yeah.

I don't know what that means, would beaver bod. If that was on Bumper St stumpers, I would not get it. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Could it be something else? Bo verbod. Bo verbod. BVR.

Does BVR stand for anything? Um. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. I don't know.

Butthole video recorder? Yeah. It only records one type of video. Yeah. But it's programmed and so if that ever comes up on TV, it's gonna know.

Yeah. And here's your final phone call. Hi, Dave and Graham. This is John from Western New York. I was calling in with an overseen.

I was driving home from work today and I came up to a stoplight behind a Prius And the guy driving the car He started to dump a coffee outside his driver's window Except he didn't reach out the window first

So he just ended up pouring coffee all down the outside of his car Anyways Yes Down the outside of his car He was driving the beaver bod Oh oh he's got a real beaver bod uh yeah that's not a thing that you should that's something that you would do in the 60s was poor yeah throw coffee out the window well he didn't throw it he just poured just pouring it down the side of his car yeah Because he was about to hand it off to his ex-wife.

If I... Enjoy your coffee car. If I had flames painted down the side of my car, I'd always freak out and pour water down the side of my car. Oh, wait. Oh, wait. Paint it on. I get excited every time because you think Conan the Barbarian is in your room. No, darn it.

It's just on the side of my van. Did you see that? There was a guy selling his van that had like an airbrushed, I think it was Star Trek design. And it was like a guy in Vancouver that had it since the 70s. Like one of those crazy vans with like the bubble window shaped like a half moon. Ah, man. Memories memories for that guy yeah i know filthy memories i don't know if i've ever seen one of those in real life that's why i was so surprised that it was like in town like i was like oh like i thought that was just a thing like they

did on tv shows yeah yeah but no i think in the 70s like it was a pretty cool thing You would have speakers And shag carpet Airbrush tattoos Airbrush tattoos on your car Yeah basically Yeah you would tattoo your car And then Lava lamps Yeah lava lamps

Was that an 80s thing? No 60s 60s, 70s Disco ball Yeah Blacklight Blacklight posters With mushrooms

Yeah Yeah These are things from before we were born Yeah Cool things though Yeah yeah yeah Disco ball. Yeah. Black light posters with mushrooms. Yeah. Yeah. These are things from before we were born. Yeah. Cool things, though. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, boy. The coolest.

Lava lamps came back, though. They came back in the 90s, right? Mm-hmm. Yeah. I had one. I had one, too. I had one, too. Did it...

We all had lava lamps. Do you still have them? Mine broke. Lava lamp bod. Mine... I kind of do have a level that bod yeah uh when you get hot oh boy i dance people just want to stare at you mine just kind of gooed up at the bottom and then wouldn't bubble anymore yeah ungoo, my love. Thank you. You're very welcome. Nima, this episode comes out first week of June?

Yeah. Do you have anything coming up in the first week of June that you want to plug? Or in the future? Or anywhere in the future. Or your online stuff? Yeah, okay. I'm in a comedy short that Cam McLeod is directing and producing. Okay.

And he's releasing it, uh, in June. I think he's doing like a special fundraiser premiere with like, uh, at the China cloud. Right. So look for that. It's called orgies happening tonight. Who's in that? Aaron Reed. Aaron Reed's in that as a Mr. Robe.

Okay. And I play the Charlie, the main guy. All right. And Cam McLeod's the janitor. He's also the director and producer. Nice. Yeah. And he wears a lot of hats.

He does. Janitor. Director. Yeah. He's going to do two shows, two premieres at the China Cloud. So keep your ear to the ground. Yeah. Ear to the ground. I think I saw it. I mean, I'll look at it. Cloud. So keep your ear to the ground. Yeah, ear to the ground.

I think I saw it. I think I saw it on Instagram just like today. Well, while you're looking that up, I'm going to look up the TV show Hunter. Uh-huh. Oh, it was on NBC. In the summer, I'm touring with my bestie boys, my improv crew. Are they called the bestie boys? No, they're just my besties. Okay. And what Are they called the Bestie Boys? No, they're just my besties.

Okay. And what are they called? Where are you? Tim Carlson of Young Drunk Punk. Ah, yes. Yeah, and Ben Gordetsky of Rapid Fire Theater. Okay. We have an improv troupe called Lorax.

Mm-hmm. And we're going to be in late July, early August. We're going to be around Toronto, Montreal, and New York. Wow. Doing shows. Yeah. The big three. I've never been to New York.

Well, it's, you know, there's the Central Perk and the fountain that all the friends danced in. I'm not going to go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And there's a... There's the apartment from Mad About You. Yeah. Caroline from Caroline. The city is still there.

The single guy was there. There's the apartment from the single guy. There's the Ghostbusters hotel. Airbnb. Yeah. There's also Woody Allen roller coaster. Yeah. Your feet dangle.

Yeah, sure. Is there any escape rooms? Holler at your boy. There's a rumble in the Bronx. Yeah. Rumble in the Bronx. You could see all the sites. From rumble in the Bronx.

Yeah. Lots to do. You'll have your hands full. Yeah. You're. People are like, Nemo, you've never been. I'm sure.

I think you're going to like it, but make sure you sleep. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, sleep. Oh, no. No, no, no. Don't sleep. No, you don't have to. No, no, no. Don't sleep. Don't sleep at all? No, no, no. Though, if you want to sleep, you better take an Ambien, is what I've heard. Oh, okay. Also, don't bring your mom there, because people will ride her just like a bus route.

It's June 2nd and June 4th at the China Cloud. Yeah. Yeah. Those are the dates. And speaking of plugging things, I'm also going out. I'm going to the Toronto Fringe. Mm-hmm. Woo.

The Winnipeg Fringe. That's going to be July? Yeah. July 1st to the 15th, I think, is the- Toronto. The Toronto. Toronto. And then I go onto the Winnipeg Fringe, reading the phone book.

And then Montreal, I'm reading the phone book. And then I go over to the Winnipeg Fringe, reading the phone book. And then Montreal, I'm reading the phone book. And then I go over to Scotland. And I read the phone book over there. And then this month we'll all be in Edmonton doing a live podcast? Yeah, the Improvaganza. Oh, awesome. Yeah, are you going there? No.

What? We've got no allies. There's nobody. That's why they flew us out. Like nobody wants this. But I've been there before It's a great festival Yeah Yeah

Great improv festival And comedy festival Will I have a chance to sleep? Mm-hmm Yeah Edmonton is a city that That always sleeps Sleeps every night

Sleeps nightly Yeah And I was in this hotel In Edmonton once And I went up to the concierge And I said What time is it?

And he said, I don't know, like eight? It's a different culture there. They're really plugged in. They're really big on time. If you want to go over to MaximumFun.org, check out the blog recap. Pictures and videos relating to the content of this podcast. Surely a picture of Hunter. Oh, no.

Well, that's what I was going to say. Maybe a picture of an escape room. Yeah, fly over Canada. Yeah. Possibly a flower being smelled. MJ. Yeah, sure. Or Jaden.

Oh, yeah. Well, is there a picture of them together? The big two. If we could get a picture of MJ, Jayden bob hoskins and a porno star all together yeah i don't think such a thing exists i don't but you know what i would you can make i would uh subtitle like i put a caption on it would be what a party yeah what a night so many memories yeah or like friends that never sleep Yeah. Or like friends that never sleep. I don't know.

Friends that never sleep. Yeah. Vampire friends. These guys never sleep. And Nima, thanks for being our guest. Thank you so much for having me. Thanks anyway. And if you like the show, tell your friends and come on back next week for another episode of stop podcasting yourself

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